#religiously good ending

[littlegingermochipie]

zukaang | rajamandala | राजमण्डल | 羅闍曼荼羅 devdas, chigo, lengger lanang and layla-majnun inspired tale

the day zukō was born, agni bestowed him with a single eternal flame, everlastingly alight inside the gentur lamp which he would carry along with him everywhere he went. no one could extinguish and light it back at will except the one who’s destined to guide his fate, as prophesied at naloni mitoni.

after his genpuku as the successor of ōzai tennō, zukō accompanied azhura in attending durga puja and seren taun, hosted by baginda bhumi at the central port of canggu. the siblings then reunited with maiko and tài linh, who became patrons of entertainment in northern manjung.

their seventh generation of tawaifs featured the esteemed amrapali, whose swara and abhinaya effortlessly enamored kaldera royals. as she danced, not only did she take everyone's breath away, but also the life of every kindled flame in the room. then, when she lit them back with gentle sway of her hands, zukō knew that she's the one.

realizing that his son had set his eyes on a mere yìjì, ōzai warned the prince that he might be deceived by outlanders witchery, but zukō insisted that he trusted agni's sacred will. he continued to chase the tawaif in unquenchable desire to know about her more, unaware that the fate he would thread on was to become a madman, lost in utterly blind love which turned into the purest form of devotion.

because amrapali was, in fact, not merely a dancer and disciple of buddha. she was bodhisattva kannon in her avatar form－a man named āng, awakened in rana pota lake as the only living sky dweller. his kin were mercilessly wiped from existence milennium ago by zukō's ancestor, souzan tenshi, who begun the conquest of rajamandala.

āng's crimson henna, drawn by performers of tide drifters; adinda katara and kakanda saka, covered his distinguished irezumi, while his voice was trained to move even the most hardened heart by paduka běifāng and a hia haru, the stone wielders. together with his beloved shrivijayans, the avatar would liberate the victims of war under ōzai's tyrant rule.

however, it was out of āng's prior knowledge that he would possess karmic ties with the very son of his own enemy through vortex of conflicted, mortal feelings. willingly bestow thousands of blessings to zukō's thousands of prayers, he would, but even as the emanation of god, āng still could not simply pull the strings of fate as he selfishly pleased.

by the will of sang hyang widhi, āng was destined to succeed in ending the misdeeds of fire breather’s forefathers, but at the cost of his heart falling forever in unfulfilled love. for he knew, that even though zuko took the role of mirabai to krishna, their wish to be united would be granted only in death like that of layla and majnun.

for @zukaangweek third day prompt: sacred/possesive

#zukaang #kataang #sokkaang #realistically sad ending #religiously good ending #(majnun) loving god through his creation (layla) and the notion of their virgin love is the most powerful agape of all #both agni and kannon testing the earthly beings (like shinta in agni pariksha and chigo with monks) is the red thread here for zukaang #the original trio of the gaang in troupe of court entertainers planning to overthrow villains is absolutely hot #you can take the aang/water siblings tag platonically or as or spicy as you want 👀👌 #yep the namings - titles - endearments - lyrics/poems - places - terms here is mostly from south - southeast - east - western asia #obligatory zukaang bollywood au that went overboard because my brain wont shut up #this is also a tribute to the iconic lgbt dancers lengger lanang god i love their graceful presence so much #aang fanart #zuko fanart #katara fanart #sokka fanart

[dykealloy]

the catholic rejection of it all

#one piece #op #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #gear 5 luffy #song is big god by florence and the machine #religious symbology? in my shounen anime protagonist? it's more likely than you think #im 24 years old it's the end of 2023 it's MY turn to finally make a cringe amv for christmas #to be clear. i dont think law sees luffy as his god. but i definitely think he's helped law regain some faith #i.e. catholicism (yeah hardy-hah one piece character is an ex-catholic its all very silly but let's take it unironically for a second) #it would've drilled into law as a child to believe in one true cause (that cause being god). and that will supposedly carry him through lif #give hope purpose etc. but a lot of former catholics choose instead to find that in something else. in law’s cause: #the freedom and hope corasan gave him #the freedom that luffy brings. the will of D. the goodness in the people around him #it's a transfer of faith that feels real and tangible #it's a neat concept and I don't see it talked about much #CJ's op watch-through #corasan #donquixote rosinante #sun god nika #CJ's edits #op analysis #amv

[terristre]

I know request says closed but I just wanted to tell you that we’ll finally be getting the Glorious Masquerade event this month. Any thought pookie? You excited?

I AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS til i can bully this man 💥🥊

#‼️‼️‼️‼️NEVER BE AFRAID TO COME INTO MY ASKBOX TO TALK ABOUT RANDOM BULLSHIT!!!!! IM LOVE YOU FOREVER 🥺 #this doesnt count as a request bc no one would ask for nightmare sexy pinup malleus #anyhow. idk if youve noticed but i go pretty hard with religious themes with some of my ocs (hi covered mirrors in october day 1 👋) #& a good amount of my art outside The Sillies is crazy illustration stuff that goes HARD on symbolism & themes #so like. needless to say im VERY excited to finally get my hands on this asshole LOL #actually my original direction for this was going to be a rollo & idia thing exploring the false equivalence of hades & the christian devil #(that also ended in a homophobe rollo punchline 👍) #ask tag #twst #yayayayy thank u for asking it always makes me so happy ^^ <3

[canisalbus]

forgive me if this has been answered previously, but what were the circumstances around vasco finding out about machete's death? i'm heartbroken but fascinated to think about what his immediate reaction could have been

They don't live together, Vasco was at home in Florence at the time. Either someone who knew of their relationship managed to alert him of the murder, or he showed up in Rome to visit him just like countless of times before, and one time he was just gone. He would've missed the funeral for sure, and since Machete doesn't have family, his belongings would most likely end up escheated and subsequently liguidated by the church. He certainly wasn't remembed fondly, for the most part it was like he had never been there in the first place.

I don't want to get into the details but of course he was devastated. The threat of death was a constant presence in Machete's later years, he survived at least a couple of assassination attempts and his health kept getting worse. I think he tried to keep Vasco in the dark about how bad things were exactly, but Vasco didn't miss how his fear of death ramped up in intensity towards the end. So it wasn't a complete surprise when he found out they had finally gotten him. For a long time he had hard time not blaming himself for it, thinking whether he could've done something to prevent the outcome, whether his presence would've changed how things played out. Over the years he learned to live with the sudden and violent end of their relationship, but the first few years were extremely rough, the whole ordeal broke him in unprecedented ways and he never fully recovered to his previous state.

#Vasco had never been devoutly religious but after Machete's death he went through some kind of combo of spiritual phase and crisis in faith #because for years Machete had tried very hard to be the best and most godly version of himself #and in return God did very little to alleviate his fears and troubles #and on the other hand Vasco knew that towards the end Machete's morals had eroded significantly #and he had become alarmingly resentful and vicious #and if there was heaven he was worried that the weight of sin his darling was drenched in at the moment of his passing #might prevent them from being reunited there #over the years he went through all the stages of grief in prayer form #and spend a significant sum of money buying indulgences in hopes it might make the difference #answered #tattwege-edgweg #Machete #Vasco #Vaschete lore #but I'm reminding you that I personally like to believe that a good ending alternative is possible for them #one that doesn't end quite as bleakly

[deservedgrace]

One of the wildest things about end times anxiety/sadness at least in my experience was that you weren't allowed to express it in any significant way. Expressing any type of dissatisfaction with the end times coming soon (because everyone would take any natural disaster or war or bad thing in the world as indication that the end times are upon us) was met with you being shamed for not trusting god, not trusting his timing, for being haughty and prideful thinking you could possibly know the day and hour when not even the angels know, and don't you want jesus to come back? It's a good hopeful thing and your anxiety and fear and sadness and any other negative feelings are signs you don't love and trust the lord enough. It is completely twisted to not only tell children the world is ending soon, but to also force them to look forward to it.

#ex christian #religious trauma #ex cult #child indoctrination #end times for ts #cult tactics #you ever .. be doing good with religious trauma mostly but something pops up and you feel like you're back at square one #i know it's part of the trauma it's just.... frustrating

[solargeist]

yknow one of my original inspirations behind the Watchers being motherly was bloodborne ?

in one ending, she turns you into a weird large slug and you're essentially her eldritch child !

#LOOK AT HER. #bloodborne is about. Motherhood. Menstruation. Religious hold on society. #The Great Ones cant have children of their own.. so they impregnate humans in hopes of a child #<- much like how i write the watchers adopting humans as children :p #the lore for this game is saur good *goes crazy* #you have to eat a bunch of umbilical cords to get this ending. You're not even told to eat them #mergo's wet nurse was specifically the inspiration behind the designs

[mosaickiwi]

Fall Unto Me (part two)

Got too silly. Have some more Angel!Angel and Demon!Ren cause the bot came back and wormed into my brain to post it. Part one here if you haven't read it yet hehe.

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

The quiet cabin where Ren lived was a stone’s throw from the flowering field you found them in. The devil graciously opened his home, even guiding you around the town you now knew was called Corland Bay. Each morning when you wondered about leaving, he brought something new to pique your interest and put off your departure. The time seemed to fly by and soon you hardly spared a thought to leave.

You'd quickly grown accustomed to his constant presence over the past month. He was never far from your shoulder at any waking moment. The uneasy feeling from when you met was completely gone, replaced with a strange sense of comfort. He had only shown kindness to you, after all. To call a devil your friend was laughable, you knew. But no other word quite fit.

Still, you wondered how he had come to live outside their realm. Every time you questioned him the conversation slipped away to another topic. It must've been odd to discuss with an angel, you naturally assumed.

So you stopped bringing it up after a few days, instead choosing to inquire about the changes in the plants you so often admired. Some had begun to wither, and new buds sprouted up seemingly overnight in their place. A strange new array of flowers that Ren promised would tower over your head and his in due time.

“I think I'll like these flowers more than the others,” you told him one late afternoon. 

You were lying on the porch, your head resting against his thigh as you watched the endless rows of flora sway in the breeze. Their focus was on you, though you didn’t notice. You could feel the faint trace of constellations drawn along the bare skin of your legs. The human clothes he’d gotten for you were a little different from the robes and tunics donned by servants of heaven, but they were just as comfortable despite the lacking fabric.

“I couldn't begin to imagine why,” he mused, his tone teasing as if he already knew your answer.

You explained regardless. “You told me some will grow as tall as they can, even following the sun’s light. It’s rather interesting.”

“I’m already as tall as they'll be.” His tail flicked into your field of view, casting only a slight shadow until his face obscured your vision further. "Is a devil not as interesting as a flower to you?"

The rapidly changing sky above caught your attention before you could respond in kind. Clouds blotted out the sun, tinting the world below in a murky gray. All the signs were there. Heavy clouds, a drop in temperature, and a strange smell in the air—petrichor, it was called in the books Ren had read with you by candle light on quiet evenings. It was a change you'd been waiting for ever since learning about it.

Bursting with excitement, you rolled from their lap and darted from the safety of the covered porch, the answer you meant to give them already long forgotten. Ren followed on your heels in the dirt until you stopped.

“It's rain, isn't it?” you wondered aloud and turned back to them for confirmation.

“Humans normally stay inside when it happens, my angel. But yes. Rain.” He nodded with a smile, enamored by the way your eyes curiously sparkled before you looked away. His pale hands came up to shield your face when the first drops began to fall. 

Tiny thumps of something suddenly bounced off your hair and shoulders, seeping into your clothes. His makeshift shield seemed to be doing its job as you looked all around with wide eyes. Minuscule puddles of water and earth formed around your feet. The sea of flowers still swayed before you, though a few weaker ones fell out of sync as the rain pushed them to and fro as it pleased. You could even hear something akin to chimes when drops pattered over the roof of their home.

You spared a glance up towards the sky, quickly changing your mind with an unwelcome gasp at the spray that tickled your face. Quiet laughter came from behind and you turned to look at your companion once more, shaking off their hands.

Ren appeared unbothered by the dozens of small droplets beading down his forehead to his chin, until you reached forward to wipe them from his face. The heat of his skin stood out to you, and you let your hand linger, rubbing your thumb back and forth over the drops that kept landing on his cheek. 

A dull ache began in your back. 

You took an innocent step towards him. The light shower of rain was slowly chilling you to the bone, so it only made sense that you sought out their warmth. A warmth that felt as familiar and welcoming as your heaven. Gentle hands wound their way around your waist, guiding you back to the shelter of the porch only a few feet away. With the curtain of his fingers gone you expected another torrent to stream down your face for a brief moment. Instead, all you felt were stray drops falling from his hair.

Relief washed over you almost immediately in their embrace. Every so often you’d feel homesick like this. That sharp, almost stinging lance of pain where your wings were hidden away—yet it always faded as soon as he comforted you. You couldn’t understand why their presence brought such solace to you. 

“I’m ready to go inside,” you suddenly said.

Your gaze wandered up to Ren's unreadable blue eyes as he answered, “Are you?”

“Yes… I think so.” But you made no move to leave, instead letting your eyes follow the slow crawl of a droplet down from his cheek to the corner of his lips. Their pale pink color reminded you of the sunset that left you empty only days ago.

It was a dreaded feeling you couldn't bear to feel again.

Without even thinking about it you leaned up to kiss them for the very first time. A faint stutter of surprise to his breath, and then he kissed you back. Part of you expected it to burn, to sting, do something when you mistakenly sought out affections you knew were meant only for a bonded pair—especially from a devil of all creations. Yet there was nothing to punish you for now.

The fluttery haze to your body didn’t wane at all, only blossoming at their touch. Until a gentle nip of fangs at your bottom lip had an entirely new feeling thrumming to life in your heart. You pulled back just to breathe for a minute, running your tongue over the spot that stung in a way you belatedly realized you liked for some reason. 

Guilt and confusion battled in your heart at the thought. “Heaven will need me home soon,” you whispered, avoiding their watchful gaze for a long while as you toyed with the still damp strands of his hair.

The devil waited in silence, running one hand in an unknown pattern on your back until you managed to look upwards. “...Do you truly wish to return, my love? Won't you at least stay until the flowers bloom?” The words were desperate, but his voice resigned. As if your answer was already set in stone.

You carefully nodded at his words. Truthfully, you weren’t sure if you were even capable of leaving. It scared you more than your god's surefire chastising about the sin you'd just committed. But it has to be then, you wanted to convince yourself. Or you feared you’d break your vows and never leave him.

He accepted with a heart wrenching smile, took your hand and led you up the few steps that were slick with rain. Your fingers tightened achingly around theirs as he opened the cabin’s door.

Beneath the steady drumming of rain, you didn’t notice a bell had been faintly tolling from somewhere far above you.

#14 days with you #14dwy ren #14dwy redacted #cw religious themes #momo writing #o boi #heyyyy angelll #it's me the devil #angel!angel says feeling feelings feels bad!!! #except when it's good!!! #this was in rewrite hell sorry #the original thing was 3 parts but i cut a lot cause some bits didn't hit right in my brain #i am my own worst enemy #i mean i'm super happy with how it ends here bc ominous yearning and longing angst?? love her #if i decide to write more it'd be the absolute last one #and then infodump #or i could infodump now teehee!! shout out to the people in my askbox waiting for 4 months pls forgive meeeee

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like???? #unprompted???? what's going on there???? #well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking #to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them' #and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually #had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed #and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you! #he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about #'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know #has reinforced that for me #'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect #then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie #I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3 #They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that #anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S. #So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them #cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit #I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt #ex christian #religious trauma #child abuse tw

[derpmallow]

new favorite gomens ship is aziraphale x some proper fucking therapy and a support system maybe

#good omens s2 #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens #aziracrow #good omemes #good omens spoilers #seriously bro where does it end #*slaps roof of aziraphale* this bad (good?) boy (angel?) can fit so much religious trauma in it #AND HAVE HIM LISTEN THIS TIME TOO

[meduseld]

But also something so ! about how John Irving, the character with most faith thus most faith to be tested, is the one to find the salvation, the divine providence, the literal manna in the desert, of Koveyook and his party, taking it in with humility and gratitude is just. Irving really did get to see a form of God in the way William Blake wrote it:

“I sought my God and my God I couldn't find; I sought my soul and my soul eluded me; I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three; My God, my soul, and thee.”

#the poles really are deserts by definition btw as it relates to precipitation #at the end he had a religious experience and i have feelings #john irving #lieutenant irving #the terror #the terror amc #the truth of faith i guess is just love and looking out for each other and not imposing some colonial mandate on each other #is the point of terror #it's the land of another god well gods but the principle of faith and what john would have called christian charity is still good #which is supposed to be the highest form of love #signifying the reciprocal love between God and man that is made manifest in unselfish love of one's fellow men. #and in his last moments john finally got to truly understand that in a whole new and actually true way

[hezuart]

YOOOO! HazbinHotel Trailer just Drop!😱 Spoilers Along with the Release date of Season 1 and 2! Let Us know your Opinion about it!😆

Some things we know:

Amazon Prime is the streaming service that took it up Season 1 will be released in January 2024

It's going to get a season 2

The voice actors still haven't been announced for some reason? The trailer has no dialogue on top of that. We see Lucifer, a lot of Alastor and Vox fighting, the weird demon-looking angel Adam, a meeting of Hell overlords discussing the angel threats, and Sir Pentious is part of the gang now. That's about it? The trailer's music reminds me of a Disney movie for kids. There are a lot of Tinkerbell chime noises and jazzy upbeat music which I don't think is fitting for what the show is trying to go for as a teen-to-adult plot regarding demons from Hell being murdered and dealing with abuse. (They have "Guess what, bitches?" on a text screen in the trailer too) So first impression is extreme overcrowding. List of characters that appear in the trailer alone: Charlie Alastor Vaggie Angel Dust Husker Niffty Sir Pentious Lucifer Lilith Vox Velvet Adam Rosie and we all know Cherri Bomb and Valentino are gonna show up too. These are way too many characters to introduce or juggle in an 8 episode season. There is no possible way to give our main characters enough screen time, focus, or development to make them meaningful protagonists. They either have to rush plots or drop character arcs to squeeze things into 8 episodes.

#really confused and surprised theres a season 2 announced when season 1 hasnt even been released yet #but it is A24 so maybe theyre more willing with their money than netflix or disney #im confused as to why it was announced as soon as the writers strike ended #because season 1 was finished and it was nothing but streaming service deals and PR team stuff happening at that point #so i dont think that is hte reason #it had to have been a streaming service deal still being refined #i just dont see anything meanful in the announcement trailer so #we'll have to wait for the official one #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #im kinda sad that im not excited anymore #i waited years for this series #but after helluva boss season 2 #ive kinda learned what to expect and i dont think its gonna be any good #especially because it breaks a ton of religious lore rules #and that means the world building is gonna be a mess #watch charlie vaggie and niffty get no development #everyone is still also very very red #the thumbnail alone... who are we meant to focus on? #im so tired

[moregraceful]

I am once again job searching.... I am beginning to think capitalism is simply not for me. also do you know much easier my life in the bay area would be if I had any kind of skills that would transfer to a corporate or tech setting

#or was willing and able to move out of the bay area lol that's the other one. but that's a way more complicated discussion #but like imagine a world where i have a job i tolerate and isn't soulcrushing that allows me to make money...wow... #my work experience is like 1) public and academic libraries 2) human trafficking survivors 3) religious settings #AND LIKE OBVIOUSLY I CAN SPIN ALL OF THAT #but sometimes i go on teamwork and i look at sports jobs and i'm like. i could do that #i would be so good at social impact shit #but broadly if i was a hiring manager in any corporate setting i'd see my work experience and go. that's a hot mess. absolutely not #which i have found libraries and nonprofits are a little more tolerant of a chaotic resume.....alas #anyway if i seem insane in the next couple of months. it's bc my org is in a state of decay and i am not committed enough #to stick through to the end and/or be fired when we start losing funders. god bless bake on #fresno oilers.txt

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers

[nashvillethotchicken]

Louis Claudia and Lestat really are iwtv's respective Whitney Houston, Bobbi Kristina and Bobby Brown

#poor boy from a massive family with dreams of stardom leaves home and gets addicted to drugs and ropes his religious partner struggling with #their sexuality into their lifestyle which ultimately ends up killing the former partner and their child who dreams of performing like her- #parents #like i really be thinking about this like when i say theyre bobby and Whitney ion say that in a good way #and poor Bobbi Kristina who never got to grow up on her own terms #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire claudia #whitney houston #bobby brown #bobbi kristina

[bowtiepastabitch]

On Religious Trauma

I grew up in a high control religion, and on a fundamental level, I can see myself in both Crowley and Aziraphale, ESPECIALLY at the end of season two. Let me explain. (TW for religious abuse)

Within the church I grew up in, there was a very strong expectation that you build your identity exclusively within your religion; that you see Christ as the only source of good in yourself. It's one of the things that made coming to terms with my queerness and transness so intensely complicated. I had built my entire self image on being a good perfect Christian. Even after being forced from the closet at 16, I clung desperately to that identity because it was all I'd had my entire childhood. Even in the face of direct abuse pulled straight from that belief, I still couldn't let go of the only 'good' I'd ever seen in myself. I thought I could change my dad's mind if I could just prove that I was a good Christian and prove that the Bible didn't justify his hate. He didn't listen.

It took another year and a half for me to separate myself completely from Christianity. I'd been questioning my faith since 14 and it was an enormous source of guilt and shame, so letting go of that was a long healing process. The people I grew up with now go to religious unis and volunteer at the summer camps we went to as kids. It's surreal every time it comes up on my insta, and I feel like I'm the one who escaped, who saw through the sham to what was really going on. More than that, I know in my heart that my family (father aside) are also victims in their own right. I grew up watching my mother struggle, and I watch my younger sisters grow up wrestling with these same ideas. Perhaps even more strongly, having watched my fall from grace. But I can't DO anything, because I can see the fear in my mom's eyes when I reminder her why I'm not comfortable going to church with her; she was raised, just as I was, in desperate fear of seeing the damnation of those you love. She's terrified of being responsible for my eternal torture in hell. So we don't talk about it at all, because it hurts both of us.

I remember the overwhelming pressure to evangelize and convert, even as a literal child, because it was our responsibility to save them from hell. Aziraphale isn't CHOOSING angel Crowley over the one in front of him. He still hopes he can save the one person he loves more than anything in the universe. I've been there. It fucking hurts. But now I'm here, and that hurts too. Because I can see the people I love looking at me the same way and I have to say no.

Aziraphale never had a choice. Even in the face of cruelty, he sees heaven as the good in himself. It's the only identity he has. And he's scared out of his mind.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens angst #neil gaiman #good omens 2 ending #no nightingales #ineffable divorce #religious trauma #religious abuse #growing up christian is a special kind of hell #not everyone but for a lot of people #no love like christian hate #I promise I am doing better now being an adult is awesome #it gets better i swear

[miraluking-respectfully]

felix being referred to more or less exclusively as "your soldier" in-game speaks to how little the writers put into his character beyond his noggin full of sith secrets & his relationship with the consular; still, i do find it kind of sweet and funny, in a way. he's not a republic soldier, not even your personal bodyguard; he's your soldier. the consular is a small nation-state in and of herself

#accurate. #felix iresso #swtor #jedi consular #open tags for My Rant: #going back through rishi and doing the cute little holocron quest got me brooding - as i often do - on my best boy felix #that the writers could not think to give him anything in KOTXX that wasn't Torture Angst is deeply shitty but a little understandable. #all the other consular comps kind of have a way forward that isn't consular-related when the consular goes away #nadia has the jedi. zenith has balmorra. tharan has his old illustrious career. qyzen has little baby clan and also his religious directive #meanwhile felix isn't involved with your order or a supergenius or a politician or even someone with a lifelong goal #he was a guy doing his best at a dead-end job that turned into a far more enjoyable but still lowkey dead-end job #i would argue they could (should) have sent him to ossus but i can see them balking because Doc was already there #that's a little narratively redundant especially bc Doc has an extremely useful set of non-martial skills you would want to center #when telling a story about survival and persistence against the odds like with ossus #(also he was in the group of companions second-closest in proximity to the emperor in base game) #HOWEVER. #because i am immensely sexy and cool and have a huge brain i think i've cracked it #the way to give felix a compelling story post-consular is to put him the fuck in charge. #no longer your soldier or anyone's. his own. maybe even in charge of a large group of people in need of someone to follow #considering he used to be really good at that #a group like...idk...maybe the rest of the people incarcerated on his prison colony? #much to think about.