#reddit i hate u but if i get these pictures out of it maybe its worth it.

[sleepboysummer]

WAKE UP GUYS NEW STANSTATE RTC PICTURES DROPPED

#i am stanstate rtc's biggest fan #ITS SO COOL GUYS #as a guy who wants to one day to costume and set design professionally this is such a big deal to me #cause its so unique and interesting and shows all the things u can do with it #but then also. as someone who has been hyperfixated on rtc for a year this is making my brainrot even worse #reddit i hate u but if i get these pictures out of it maybe its worth it. #rtc #rtc production pictures #ride the cyclone #jane doe rtc #ocean o'connell rosenberg #ricky potts #constance blackwood #mischa bachinski #noel gruber

[ukai-simp-services]

your hq s/o walking in on you masturbating

includes: kenma, oikawa, ukai, kuroo

warnings: heavy smut, cursing, nsfw; degrading, praising, edging, teasing.

a/n: god this took so long for me to write, i hope y’all enjoy. i worked very hard on each character so be sure to read em all ;)

(female character descriptions)

kenma kozume

  you sat with your legs criss-crossed on the plush comforter of your bed - your shared bed with your boyfriend. kenma was rarely ever away from you, his job required him to sit at home by his desk most days, trying out different video game graphics, typing up notes or ideas after trying said game. It wasn’t very often that his company called him in for a meeting, maybe once every few weeks. 

  alas, you still found yourself sitting here, alone on your giant bed, wondering what you’d do with your time. you came home, hours prior, yearning for your comfortable bed after a long day at work. and you certainly relished in those desires, taking a much-needed nap for a couple of hours. but now here you were, brightly awake, with an unusual warmth of desire in your stomach. you were unsure where the urge came from, considering your boyfriend wasn’t even home to tempt you. but it was still there, and it needed to be satiated. 

  so you began your mission, it had been quite a number of months since you last masturbated on your own. your lovely kenma was always by your side, always there to feed your cravings, masturbation wasn’t even a thought when you knew he was just a room away from you. you almost forgot your usual routine when it came to “doing the deed”. 

  first, you slipped out of your leggings, feeling the cold, but soft comforter tickle your bare legs. then, you snaked your hand up your stomach to your breast, fondling it as best as you could. funny, it didn't feel nearly as rewarding as it did when kenma did it. lastly, you picked up your phone from its spot next to you and began your search.

  you searched a reliable porn site you used to use all the time, quickly finding a video that you knew would get you off quickly. you chewed your bottom lip as the video started, excitement building up from the depths of your core. as the video continued, you snuck your free hand down your stomach to your panties. hesitantly, you creeped your fingers under the elastic band of the soft cotton material and reached slowly for your folds. you gasped at your wetness, it was nothing remarkable, just a little surprising considering how quick you made this decision. you began stroking your clit, slowly to start, while still keeping your eyes on your screen. as the video continued on, you quickened the pace of your rubbing, swirling your juices around your clit with your two fingers. you didn’t realize how focused you were on your phone screen, till the sound of your bedroom door creaking open snapped you out of your daze. 

  yellow, cat-like eyes peered at your disheveled state in both shock and curiosity. you opened your mouth to say something, but was only able to let out a struggled mewl. his gaze was locked to your body, taking in your entire form, focused mainly on the hand buried in your panties, taking note of how your hand continued its motions, slowly. you couldn’t take your eyes off of him and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. 

  a loud, choked moan vibrated from the phone in your hand, snapping both you and kenma out of your trance. 

  “I-i...” you scrambled for words as you quickly shut off the video and began retracting your hand from your panties.

  kenma dashed towards you, animal-like instincts, and snatched your wrist in his grip, slowly putting your hand back in the spot it was formerly in. 

  “continue.” he said, voice laced with the deep desire you so fortunately get to see in him often. his gaze remained down at your body, instead of looking you in the eye. you simply nodded your head and continued your movements again. taking you by surprise yet again, kenma lifted your phone from your other hand and clicked play on the video again for you.

  your cheeks burned in embarrassment, but soon your whole body was flushed from the euphoric feeling rising in your stomach. kenma held your phone up with one hand, watching you masturbate to whatever the hell was on there. he then took his other hand and pulled the cotton material covering your sex to the side, watching your glistening fingers work magic into your clit. 

  he decided he should help out a little bit, so he poked his warm, firm tongue out of his mouth and penetrated your cunt with it. you gasped at the contact, not expecting it since your eyes were trained on the screen. your movements became spastic as the twisting and curving of his tongue played with your insides wondrously. your body convulsed around his muscle, thighs squeezing and enclosing his head. the video you were watching was quick to end, but you couldn't care as you tossed your phone to the side and grabbed a handful of your boyfriend’s hair. 

  kenma’s assault on your cunt only became more intense as he felt you reaching your orgasm, walls pulsing around his tongue. you moaned in approval of his actions, bucking your hips for the friction of his nose against your clit. your high came shortly after, leaving you grasping kenma’s hair for dear life.

  your chest rose and fell rapidly, waiting for your breathing to normalize again before you spoke. kenma plopped next to you on your bed, automatically snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.

“never leave home ever again.” you breathed out, a smile starting to form on your lips.

he simply just chuckled and said, “sounds like a deal to me.”

oikawa tooru 

  oikawa constantly had you on your toes, always watching and waiting for something to happen. with this, also came teasing, he was a huge flirt in general, everyone knew that, but when it came to you it was in every way worse. 

  you stared down at your phone, more specifically, at the text your boyfriend had sent you. 

pretty, but you’d look prettier with the dress off and your legs spread for me <3

  for context, you had went shopping earlier and sent a picture to oikawa of the new dress you were contemplating buying. of course, he was no help in your decision and only used the photo to helplessly fluster you. you sighed to yourself, guess it couldn't be helped.

  but you hated to admit that the text hit you with a swarm of butterflies in the very pit of your stomach -  you couldn't help but imagine your boyfriend in between your thighs, pulling the tight dress up your hips rather slow. 

  of course you had bought it, how could you not after reading that text.

  part of you wanted to surprise him in it, let him come home to you laying in your bed with the dress tightly clung to you and a pair of matching high heels strapped on. unfortunately, reality reminded you that tooru would be practicing ‘til late tonight and you knew that all he would want is a warm bed to crash on, barely even making it to the shower. 

  so instead of bothering your already over-worked boyfriend, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

  finishing your dinner alone at around 7pm, you cleaned yourself up and headed for the bedroom. you crawled across the smooth duvet cover on your bed, cold material rubbing against your bare legs. you situated yourself against two plush pillows, propping your torso up while parting your legs. 

  you pondered for a moment what you should do, it wasn’t an odd occurrence for you to be pleasuring yourself; tooru was out quite frequently because of his busy schedule. your confliction was caused by the fact that you simply wanted tooru, nothing else. 

  even so, you continued your actions; sliding your soft cotton shorts down your smooth and long legs. once situated, you grabbed your phone and searched for something hot to get you off. because you were feeling so touched starved, videos simply wouldn't do it for you today. you needed something more intimate; like the sound of a man’s voice in your ears, coaxing you to your orgasm, directing you to play with yourself how he wanted. 

  yeah, that would do it.

  so you went to your very reliable (totally not reddit or anything) website and searched for something you knew you would like. a seemingly promising result caught your eye, and you proceeded to plug in your earbuds and adjust the volume of the video. you leaned back further into the pillows, trying to get comfortable enough to relax. 

  the video began and you couldn’t help but feel awkward, yeah the man’s voice was hot as hell - deep and seductive too, but something about it didn't feel right considering you had a boyfriend, with a much nicer voice.  

  oh fuck it, you thought.

  there was no secret rule against this, it was basically the same as porn, only it felt nicer because the plot was directed towards you and your orgasm. you felt more at ease with yourself - and with the video. the voice playing was smooth and relaxing. 

  you slowly began to move your fingers as instructed - or should I say demanded, whilst also bringing your left hand up to palm your breast through the thin material of your shirt. you were now working both your clit and your breasts, the feeling of warmth beginning to pool in the pit of your stomach. 

  the voice commanded you to begin fingering yourself - in his words; to “bury your fingers deep in that little cunt of yours”, and who were you to disobey? 

  you did exactly as instructed, indulging your fingers deep - well, as deep as they could go - inside the warmth of your core. you received praises from the man, calling you names of which you most certainly enjoyed. this encouraged you pump yourself faster, all while your left hand toyed with your breast through your shirt. surprisingly, your hands made a dream team, you hadn't felt this amazing masturbating in so long. it was like the voice in your ears was real and the hands on your body weren't your own, but someone else’s. 

  what you failed to realize was, down the hallway from your bedroom, your boyfriend was putting his bags down on the kitchen table and approaching your room - where he heard your soft moans coming from. 

  tooru wandered over to your bedroom, both curious and confused. the way you were moaning, he wondered if he’d find another man on top of you. he decided to bite back his nerves and enter the room quietly, inching the door open with caution. his head poked through the small gap of the doorway that was now exposed, peering over at your writhing body to see that you were in fact alone. oikawa let out a small sigh of relief at this, but then noticed that you were still unaware of his presence and that your ears occupied a set of wireless earbuds. the man smirked to himself, now somewhat aware of what you were doing. 

  he cleared his throat obnoxiously, immediately turning your attention over to him and releasing the breast in your hand almost shamefully. you opened your mouth to say something, but tooru quickly cut you off.

  “my my, what do we have here?” his voice was low and taunting as he took slow strides over to your bed.

  “tooru, i was just-”

  “playing with yourself, my dear?” he chuckled and took a seat next to you on the bed, “that much i can see for myself. just to what would that be, is the question.”

  your face burned in embarrassment and regret, knowing he would manage to squeeze the answer out of you.

  “you- you weren’t home, and i...needed something...”, your voice trailed off as you glanced down at your phone, the audio was paused, but not for long. 

  oikawa seemed to have caught on to your implications and in one swift movement, snatched both your phone and your right earbud from your possession.

  “tooru, please-” 

  your boyfriend made a tsk tsk noise with his tongue, “nuh uh, what makes you think you get to enjoy this alone? honestly, it looks to me like you’re having a lot of fun-” he gestured to your hand which was deeply buried in your panties, “-and i wanna join in on the fun too.” his voice was low and laced with seduction now, his eyes dark and taunting as his face was merely inches away from yours. 

  your chest heaved with heavy contractions, stomach full of butterflies and warmth. you could barely muster out a word, so you stuck with a brisk nod. tooru smirked and plugged the earbud in at your approval, then clicked the audio back on.

  the audio was halfway finished, so the man’s instructions were even more intense than you wanted oikawa to hear. 

  “that’s right you little slut, be a good girl and keep fucking that little cunt for me, yeah?”

  your eyes widened in embarrassment, quickly scanning tooru’s face for any sign of laughter. what shocked you more was the dark expression on his face now, hidden with a deadly smirk on his lips.

  “c’mon baby, do what he’s telling you to do.”

  “good girl, that my good little slut.”

  the mix of the voices overstimulated your senses, your embarrassment soon turned into a wicked desire. you began pumping yourself harder, hand coming back up to grope you breast. your eyes closed shut and your moans began escalating again.  

  you weren’t sure what you boyfriend was planning on doing next, but you felt the pressure of the bed go down as he switched spots from next to you to in between your legs.

  the audio kept encouraging you to pump faster, enticing more moans to spill from your lips. the feeling of a warm, moist tongue pressing against your clit made your eyes shoot open and your head jerk up to see tooru with his head in between your thighs.

  “what? am I not allowed to help?” he quizzed you with a tone laced with teasing.

  you let your head fall back onto the pillow as oikawa took his time lapping at your clit. your fingering stuttered, but never ceased as the voice of a man and the tongue of your man continued to pleasure you. the audio was nearing an end and you felt yourself also nearing an orgasm. oikawa pushed your hand so your fingers went even deeper than they already were, this earned a whimpering gasp from you. you looked down at your partner to see his eyes were locked with yours, tongue poking out to lick at your swollen clit. you felt your walls clenching around your fingers at the sight, voice in your ear aiding in it too.

  “look at you, so helpless, getting off to some guys’ voice? such a needy little whore, aren't you?” 

  you felt all the oxygen in your lungs leave your body, fingers growing stiff inside of you. your boyfriend’s words tugged at something inside of you, an animalistic version of you deep down that needed to be freed. 

  tooru smirked up at you, perfectly aware of his effect on you. his tongue withdrawing from inside his mouth to lap you up for the hundredth time.

  “how pathetic, were you that desperate for an orgasm that you resulted to audio porn?”

  “good girl, that’s my good little girl, cry out for me.”

  you felt your orgasm coming like a tidal wave, the two voices overstimulating your senses once again.

  “that’s so fucking embarrassing, your own fingers are barely enough to please you anymore. you need my tongue to help you.”

  “that’s right, come for me, come around those pretty little fingers of yours.”

  “yeah? you're gonna be an obedient little slut and come for for him? listen to his orders like he’s your daddy, right?”

  and you did.

  with a final whine of pleasure, your body violently rocked itself through your orgasm. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your back arched into air helplessly. your fingers slowed down on their movements, eventually coming to a slow finish. you breathed heavily, chest heaving as the ringing in your ears quieted down. all that could be heard in the room was the thick silence in the air and your contracted breathing. 

  tooru slowly approached the spot next to you on the bed from his former position between your legs, lying next to your disheveled form. once your body had calmed itself down a bit more, your retracted your hands from their position  and turned toward your lover, resting your head on his shoulder. 

  “well, I certainly did not expect to come home to that.” tooru chuckled lightly.

  you quickly dove your face into the side of his neck, hiding in mortification. 

  “god, I'm so embarrassed.” you mumbled into his skin.

  oikawa only laughed louder, earning a light slap on his arm.

  “come on, don’t act like you didn’t enjoy every second of that.”

  “you know I did, that’s why I'm embarrassed!” you lifted your head from his neck to retort back.

  he only shook his head and laughed again, wrapping his arm around your body to keep you warm.

  “why did you come home so early, anyway?”

  “well practice ended early because the team wanted to go out to dinner for a sort-of, congratulations for doing so good in our last match. that team we went up against was really hard, remember?”

  “yes, I do. so why didn't you go!” you suddenly jerked your head up to scold your boyfriend.

  “because...I'd much rather be home with you celebrating. besides, I thought that text I sent you was a hint of what I wanted to do with you tonight.” his voice trailed off quietly.

  “oh god, I thought you were just being a damn tease like always! that’s why I took matters into my own hands.”

  tooru propped himself up on one elbow, facing you.

  “c’mon, you know damn well you enjoy my teasing. plus who says we can't go for a round two?” he wiggled his eyebrows at you and gestured at the rising tent under his sweatpants that was nearly poking your leg.

  you smirked, looking back up into your boyfriend’s eyes.

  “i guess that can be arranged, but it’s my turn to tease, i've had enough of your teasing for one day.”

  before he could protest, you were on top of him straddling his waist, hands holding his arms up over his head.

  “fine by me.”

ukai keishin

  coming home from a long day at work, you plopped down your bags and ran your fingers through your hair. ukai was working the late shift at his convenience store like he usually did on weekdays, and he probably hadn’t eaten anything besides snacks since lunch this noon. your body was tired and sweaty, but you motivated yourself with the idea of a hot shower to keep you up on your feet for a bit longer. as quick as you could, you whipped up a plate of steamed dumplings and rice for you and your fiancé to eat. once satisfied with your work, you left the meal on top of the stove with a glass cover on top to keep it warm. 

  hot shower hot shower hot shower you chanted to yourself, reminding yourself of your reward for the long day you had. you went to your bedroom first to quickly strip, tossing the restricting clothes away into a hamper. afterwards, you entered your bathroom - now naked, a chill ran over your body. you turned the knob of the shower to the left, far to the left, making the water spring to life and begin to heat up.

  after a few moments of waiting for the steamy-hot water to rush out, you took a step into the tub. immediately, your muscles relaxed under the flow of the hot water, your skin burned a little at the sensation too. you sat under the water for a good 30 minutes; lathering your soft skin with foamy body wash, scrubbing at your scalp and rinsing the stress of a long day off your body. the shower was full of steam and the sweet scents of all the soap you used. 

  you exited the shower after feeling fully clean and content, wrapping a dry towel around your head to hold your drenched hair. you dried your body off with another towel and slipped a soft robe around your form, before approaching your room. 

  following after brushing through your damp hair, you slid on an over-sized t-shirt from your closet, probably one of ukai’s without realizing. you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you walked toward your dresser, you admired the way the t-shirt showed off the shape of your breasts and hugged your hips. you took a step back to appreciate your form a minute more, becoming seemingly more and more confident in your looks by the second. it had clearly been awhile since you felt confident in yourself, your teenage days were over and adulthood was settling into your appearance. 

  still, for the first time in awhile, you thought you looked damn good. 

  a flame ignited in your belly, a flame you had not felt in a long time. you usually tended to ignore said flame, because you simply did not have the time to deal with it. 

  but today was so draining and you had not done this in so long. surely you deserved a reward, right?

  yes, yes you did. a hot shower alone simply was not enough of a prize for the type of day you had. 

  you crawled onto the bed and sat against your pillow, spreading your legs for yourself in front of the mirror across the room. grateful you had not put on underwear yet, you reached down to touch your bare petals. you weren’t wet yet, but it didn't take you long to get there, not with that mirror in front of you. 

  you watched yourself from the spot on your bed, grabbing your bare breast underneath your shirt as you started rubbing lazy circles around your clit. you found yourself soon more relaxed than not, giving in to your suppressed desires. you began to imagine you weren’t alone on your bed, that your future husband with there with you; crawling in-between your legs. you moaned at the thought, eyes fluttering close in a daze. 

  you thought about him grabbing you by your thighs, holding on to them as he made out with your sloppy, wet pussy. you imagined the sounds, his vibrating moans, your wet slick being lapped up and sucked on. 

  your was sex dripping with your cum now, and you watched yourself in the mirror with hooded lids, vividly imaging your husbands head and back facing the ceiling. you could even see the details of his back muscles contracting and relaxing as he continued aggressively devouring you. 

  your thoughts were paused when you heard the front door open, your eyes widened, but remained glued to the image of your body. 

  your fingers hadn’t ceased their movements either.

  “honey, i'm home” ukai teased in his “i'm-a-loving-husband-who-brings-home-the-bacon” voice. something you both found funny ever since you got engaged. 

  you made no sound, too afraid you voice would come out in a squeal.

  you heard his footsteps go into the living room, before his voice called out again, “baby?” 

  you decided to play around and not answer again, leaving him no choice but to find you himself. you continued rubbing your clit as you stared at yourself in the mirror, biting your lip to hold back an excited grin. as ukai’s steps got closer to the door, you found yourself indulging a finger into your core. then, one turned into two. and you found yourself having to hold back your moans, as he was so close to entering your room. 

  a mere second passed before keishin was strolling into your room, looking for his beloved fiancé. he stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on you, two fingers plunged into your pussy, all whilst staring at your reflection in the mirror. 

  he exhaled through his teeth before saying, “princess, what’s this?”

  you tilted your head to the side, gazing at the man before you with half-lidded eyes.

  “what does it look like, daddy?” your fingers maintained their rapid pace.

  keishin was enthralled with the scene before him - not wanting to move an inch so he could continue watching you, while also wanting to pounce on you like a caged animal.

  he decided to just slowly creep over to you, long strides taunting you from your spot on the bed. he kneeled on the mattress, beginning to crawl closer and closer to you. your gazes were locked on each other, all while your fingers kept their assault on your core.

  “you look so pretty baby, touching yourself like that in our big ole’ bed.”

  you only bit your lip in response, eyes trailing back to the mirror in front of you. keishin followed your glance, now also looking at the reflection of you two. 

  he scoffed, “what a little slut you are, getting off to yourself in the mirror.”

  a shaky breath left your mouth at his words, before he turned to you again and propped himself up on his elbow.

  why isn't he doing anything?? you couldn't help but think.

  “go on, don't worry about me. I wanna see you keep playing with yourself, just like that.” it was like he read your thoughts.

  you became a little frustrated, you were hoping he was going to join in on your “play time”. even so, you persisted, trying to dig deep for an orgasm. you continued staring at the mirror, watching keishin watch you. it was fucking hot - but you needed more.

  “ ’shin...” you whined out, tilting your head to look at him.

  “what? is my princess having trouble?”

  you nodded your head.

  he clicked his tongue, “that’s too bad isn't it? my little girl started this herself, now she’s got to be the one to finish it.” he punctuated his words by leaning in closer and closer, his hot breath on your face felt too nice. 

  you understood what you had to do, cum for him once and then he’d finally join you for a second time, but you were so damn touch starved. it’s one thing to be alone and touch starved, it’s another to be with the person you want to touch you, just for them not to. 

  you bit down on your lip as you pounded into yourself harder and faster, fingers reaching deep to hit your sweet spot. you tried and tried, but to no avail. your breathing was rigid now, frustration marked on your forehead, all while keishin sat and watched you like a sly motherfucker.

  he hadn’t even taken an inch of clothes off, and he wasn't even palming himself through his sweats.

  tears of frustration dribbled down your cheeks, there was no warmth in your stomach, no clench to your core, just the cum that dripped down your folds - and that was only from the mindless finger-fucking you were doing. 

  “poor baby, are your fingers not enough? can they not satisfy you the way my cock can?” keishin’s voice was low and his breath caused goosebumps to rise on your neck and cheek. you leaned into his warm touch as he wiped the tears off your face.

  “p-please.” you begged.

  “please what? use your words, princess.”

  “please- please help me cum.”

  keishin laughed in your face, making your cheeks glow a bright red. 

  “so fucking pathetic, can't even cum with your own fingers. what happened to that tough girl act you had on before, huh? when I caught you playing with your pussy to your reflection in the mirror.”

  he leaned in closer, lips barely grazing your ear.

  “-where did that little slut go? you’re so desperate now, it’s not even funny.”

  a wave of pleasure took over your body, and you finally understood that he was helping you cum, he just didn’t even have to touch you.

  “daddy- please...” you begged for more.

  “there’s my slut, there she fucking is. i bet you were just waiting for me to come home earlier; you were waiting for your daddy with your cunt wrapped around your little fingers, legs spread - practically begging to be caught.”

  you let out a loud moan, core clenching around your fingers as you felt your orgasm approaching. keishin tugged at the fabric of your shirt, before pulling it up to reveal your breasts.

  he scoffed, “even wearing my shirt, huh? bet you couldn't wait to stain it with your cum. you dirty little girl, i’ll make you clean up every last drop of yourself with your tongue” 

  you were already so close, but keishin’s words and the way he pinched your erect nipple with his thumb and middle finger - really pushed you to the edge. 

  “cum, cum for me you fucking whore.”

  with one final drawn out moan, you came around your fingers and all over the bed. keishin didn’t even let you calm down from your high, he was already in-between your legs getting ready to lick up your slick.

  you tried to push his head away - your body was still so sensitive from the orgasm, but you knew that the night wouldn’t end without ukai overstimulating you, as he always does. you both knew each other’s boundaries, and this was definitely acceptable - but it was still part of the act for you to resist. 

  “keishin, please. i'm too sensitive.”

  he ignored your words, pinning your wrists up above your head to get your hands out of his way. you complied, but still writhed in his grasp. ukai brought his head down to meet your pussy, shoving his nose harshly into your sensitive clit, before plunging his tongue deep in your walls. 

  you screamed at the rough contact, your ass threatened to lift up from the bed - but keishin put a firm arm down on your body to ensure that you were going nowhere. 

  he continued licking out your insides, moaning into your clit. one hand was holding your stomach down and the other was roaming your left breast, fondling the perked nipple in-between his fingers. 

  you couldn’t help the bodily convulsions you were having, you had already felt so close and he was just starting. you glanced up to watch your reflection in the mirror, smirking back at yourself after remembering how only 15 minutes ago you were imagining this scenario unfolding. 

  ukai began licking you with more fervor, his tongue moving up to toy with your clit, whilst two fingers plunged into your hole all at once, making up for any contact lost. 

  you groaned, arching your back so that your pussy was pressed against his face. ukai moaned into your core, licks becoming a sloppy mess. 

  “you taste so fucking lovely, feels like i haven’t ravaged you in way too fucking long.” ukai groaned his words into your sex, causing all sorts of vibrations to be let loose. 

  you were close, so close, your moans were becoming more rapid and you couldn’t hold back your hands from tugging into keishin’s hair. he didn't seem to mind it either. 

   you were pushed over the edge at the feeling of keishin’s lips sucking at your clit, the sensation being way too much for your over-stimulated pussy to handle. it also didn't help that his lidded gaze locked with yours in the exact moment that his lips wrapped around your little bud. you ground against his face as your cum made its new home all over his chin and all over the bed. 

  the two of you breathed heavily for a few seconds, staring into eachother’s eyes for what felt like forever. 

  “you’re so fucking good.” you spoke first, words coming out choked and breathless.

  he chucked, “yeah, it helps that you taste fucking delicious.” 

  you giggled at his words, making it sound like you were a fucking plate of dumplings or something-

  “did you see the dinner? I made dinner!” you sat up excitedly, suddenly remembering the meal that you made.

  “baby, i think i’ve had my dinner.” ukai smirked up at you. 

  you weren't taking any sexy jokes, not after you remembered your yummy dinner.

  “nope, get up. i did not slave over a stove for nothing.” you bounced off the bed, still naked.

  keishin rolled his eyes at you, “we coulda just ordered in ya know?”

  “hush.” you playfully hit him on the shoulder, before putting his shirt back over your torso and leading him into the kitchen.

  after padding into the kitchen, keishin spoke up.

  “you know, I meant what said. about you getting cum on my shirt, and licking it clean.” there was a playful smile on his lips as he crossed his arms and faced you.

  “I didn't even get cum on your shirt, asswipe.” 

  “not yet, but I'm nowhere near through with you tonight, princess.” 

kuroo testurou

  the red blinking numbers on your alarm clock glowed directly in front of your face, mocking you. 3:32A.M. it told you. you had been tossing and turning for the past 3 hours, how did this happen?

  next to you, your husband kuroo was comfortably snoring, his breathing a steady rhythm. normally, the noise itself would lull you to sleep, but tonight your body was wide awake, antsy about something. you had already gone to the kitchen for a glass of milk an hour ago, a trick your mother taught you as a child. irritated, you glanced at the empty glass next to your bed, clearly it didn’t work anymore. it only made you have to pee, twice.

  you gently flipped onto your back, careful not to wake your soundly sleeping husband, god knew he had to wake up at 6am for work.

  you laid there, flat on your back as you stared up at the ceiling; wide eyed and fully awake. you wondered what other remedies you could do to force sleep on yourself. you could chew some melatonin - but you were sure you’d never bought melatonin in your life, you never had a reason to. you drew in a long breath, letting it out in a sigh. meditation? counting sheep? hot tea? – no, you didn’t want any more trips to the bathroom keeping you up. 

  then a brilliant thought crossed your pretty little mind; masturbation. you almost snorted out loud at the sheer sincerity of it. shifting around a little bit, you rested your hand over your lower stomach - almost teasing the idea of it. your fingers crept lower, now fingering the hem of your cotton shorts. then proceeded to slip your fingers past both the shorts and your underwear. you quickly peered over at your sleeping husband, a wild nest of black hair spread across his pillow. you smiled in admiration, he’s always slept like a rock, usually an arm anchored around you - preventing you from getting out of bed. that same arm was now stuffed under his pillow, you had learned the ways of escaping kuroo’s giant arms long ago. 

  you paid mind back to your situation at hand, continuing the creeping of your hand further down your skin. you sighed at the feeling of your fingers grazing over your slit, instinctively spreading your legs slightly for better access. you began rubbing at your now exposed clit; slow circular motions. you bit your lip at the newfound warmth bubbling in your stomach, a feeling you’ve always enjoyed.

  your husband stirred slightly in his sleep, head now facing yours. you froze slightly, but let out a sigh of relief when his snoring continued. his jet black hair covered his face, only allowing you to see his lips; which were parted as he snored. you almost thought he looked cute, so tempted to run your fingers through his hair. you decided against it, not wanting to wake the poor man up.

  your sex started growing quite wet - quicker than you thought it would. maybe it was the idea that what you were doing...so close to your sleeping husband-

  -was so dirty.

  you bit down on your bottom lip and quickened the pace of your motions, rubbing your little clit with more pressure from your fingertips. 

  still, you wished it was your husband’s tongue instead of your fingers. lapping up your slick and prodding at your sweet spot. you moaned softly, quickly biting your lip again to suppress the sound. fortunately, your husband stayed asleep.

  you started pumping your middle finger into your cunt, needing more friction to finish you off. the action caused you to moan louder, although you really tried to hold them back. and if it weren't your moans that woke your husband up - it was the arching of your back and bucking of your hips, causing the mattress to dip in your spot.

  you didn't notice him though, you didn't notice his eyelids fluttering open behind the shaggy head of hair he had, covering his eyes. he laid like that for a good minute, watching you writhe under your own hand, beginning to grab your bare breast from under your shirt. sleep still clouded his head - making his thoughts a bit foggy, but he was becoming more aware of your upcoming climax by the second. you were so far gone you didn't even realize his snoring coming to a halt, your mind was filled with the most lewd fantasies of kuroo pleasuring you in your bed. 

  when you felt yourself coming close to a climax, a large hand paused your movements by grabbing your wrist. you let out a small yelp, out of pure surprise and terror. you looked over at your husbands form, he was propping himself up on his elbow and jerking his head back a bit to get a better look of you, a smug smirk growing on his lips. his messy hair only covered his left eye now, and you could see the dark hues of his right eye practically glistening, looking down at you with a dark intensity. 

  “test-”

  “i hope i'm not interrupting you, my sneaky girl.” his voice was sleepy and one whole octave lower than it was during the day. 

  “no, you're not...um. i had trouble sleeping baby.”

  he gave you a knowing look and pulled back the blanket that covered his torso, exposing to you his flexed abs. 

  “and you couldn't ask me for help?” he began creeping over to your frozen body, still halfway under the covers.

  “you were sleeping, dummy.” you squinted at him.

  “name calling? well baby, two can play at that game.” he got fully on top of you, then proceeded to sink himself back under the covers, until only his head was poking out. 

  “let me help my chibi-chan out, yeah?” he drawled out the name slowly, knowing just the kind of reaction you'd have.

  “testu, you have work in 3 hours, i-”

  kuroo rolled his eyes at you, before fully submerging his head below the blanket. your hand was still in your pants, it had seized its movement, but it still remained there almost frozen. kuroo pulled the inconvenient hand out of his way, tugging down your cotton shorts immediately after. you felt unsure what he’d do next, considering you couldn't see him.

  after your shorts were long gone, you didn’t feel anything for a few seconds. you perked your head up from its position on your pillow almost ready to call out your lover’s name. you were quickly stopped when you felt a long stroke from his tongue to your wet slit.

  you threw your head back, a long moan escaping your mouth. the ecstasy from the feeling of his tongue unexpectedly replacing your fingers was unimaginable. you writhed beneath his mouth, his arms instinctively going to wrap around your thighs, anchoring you down in your place. his tongue continued its assault with an immense amount of pressure; pushing the muscle deep into your hole, then bringing it out to run circles around your clit. you already felt your body closing in on its orgasm. you had gotten yourself pretty far earlier and your husband was only getting you further. kuroo felt your tightening core around his muscle, and he slowed down his tongue movements - ultimately trying to edge you.

  and you certainly felt on edge, that was for sure.

 your eyes widened at his suddenly slow pace, looking down at the lump of his body covered by the thick blanket. you knew he was getting warm down there, but this was kuroo for crying out loud; this man would go on for hours if he wanted to.

  you felt his grip around your thighs tighten as you bucked your pelvis into his face, demanding a little bit more friction. to your dismay, he gave you the absolute opposite of that; digging his nails lightly into your plush skin to almost warn you not to be impatient. you whined under his tongue, the feeling of slow circular motions was driving you crazy. you were about ready to suffocate his face with your pussy - underneath the already claustrophobic blankets.

  kuroo suddenly sped up his pace again, planning on bringing you close to another high. and maybe if he was feeling nice, he’d let you come this time. he added two fingers to pulse into your sopping wet cunt as he licked away at your clit and your folds - lewd noises escaping through the small holes between the blanket and the bed. he continued pumping you ‘til he felt your walls begin to clench again, squeezing his two fingers tightly together. he immediately pulled them out.

  you gasped at the loss of contact, this time you were really ready to rip the blanket off this man and yell straight in his face. but to your surprise, kuroo submerged himself from under the blanket to meet you face to face.

  “having fun, chibi-chan?” he smirked down at your pouting face.

  “i was.” you accentuated your words with a roll of your eyes.

  kuroo chucked, then grabbed your cheeks in his hand and squeezed them.

  “hey, who said you could give me an attitude, huh? you should be thankful that i’m pleasuring you at this hour.” his voice was deep and laced with lust. you know his actions would soon contradict his words, so you played along.

  “want some kind of award? oh, i’m so glad my husband edged me at 3am! when i could’ve came and went to sleep already! thank you truly-“

  kuroo’s eyes went dark; knowing this game all too well. his hands went from your cheeks to around your throat in a mere second.

  “watch your fucking mouth, brat, or you won’t be coming at all tonight.”

  you smirked up at him, knowing you got him where you wanted. kuroo pulled down his boxers from his position between your legs and began pumping his half-erect member. you simply sat back and watched him. after a moment, he lined himself up with your core, slightly adjusting his position to get closer to you.

“someone’s taking their sweet time.” you had to bite back a laugh at your own statement.

  “patience is virtue, chibi-chan. or did you forget that i could simply stop here and go back to sleep?” kuroo tested you.

  “whatever you say, sir.” you looked deep into his eyes, not an ounce of satire in your voice.

  kuroo licked his lips devishly, any hint of tiredness he had felt before was long gone now. he pushed his cock deep into your core, bottoming out all at once. your back arched instantly at the feeling of his cock already pressing against your cervix.

  “think you can take me, little one?” kuroo smirked down at your face, which was contoured in pleasure and slight discomfort from taking his cock all at once.

  “know i can. start moving grandpa, i’m not getting any younger here.” you teased his slow pace.

  he raised an eyebrow at you, “you asked for it.” and began shoving himself in and out of you at the speed of fucking light.

  you threw your head back in ecstasy, the feeling of his “larger-than-most” cock would never get old to you - no matter how long you two have been together. he almost always stretched you out to unimaginable points.

  “test-testu.” you whined out, tongue beginning to loll out of your mouth.

  “that’s mr. kuroo to you, little one.” the muscles of his biceps were starting to tense up as he continued fucking you senseless.

  you could barely whine out a response, his cock was already so close to pushing you past your breaking point. he made matters worse by bringing a hand down to play with your clit, only to retract that hand and slap your pussy with it, tauntingly. he knew exactly what kind of response he’d get from that, as you wail out from under him.

  “i’m so close...” you almost regretted saying that in fear that he’d just pull out and go to sleep. but you knew better that he already sensed you were close without you having to say anything.

  he smirked from his position on top of you, black hair falling in a mess over his face as he tilted his head down to look at you better.

  “so am i.” he groaned into your ear as he inched his body closer to yours, your erect nipples practically brushing against his bare chest through your thin shirt.

  your core tightened as your climaxed reached itself. you dug your nails into the bare skin on kuroo’s back for support, he barely even hissed in pain at the sensation. your hips bucked as your orgasm took over your whole body, legs shaking from the aftermath of the intense high. your husband fucked you through your orgasm relentlessly, seeking to find his own orgasm. he came shortly after you, deeply groaning into your ear - the noise had goosebumps rising all over your body.

  “always so fucking good, chibi-chan.” his eyes were half-lidded, as were yours.

  your chest heaved as you began to calm down from your high. kuroo pulled himself out of you and quickly retreated to the bathroom to get some towels to clean you guys up.

  but when he got back you were already half asleep, cuddled into his pillow, inhaling his fresh, yet musky scent. he smiled down at you, a towel still in hand.

  you mumbled to him, sleep nearly taking over you, “thank you, baby~”

#kenma kozume #kuroo testuro #oikawa tooru #oikawa toru #ukai keishin #kenma smut #kuroo smut #oikawa smut #ukai smut #hq smut #hq smau #haikyuu smut #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x fem!reader #kuroo x fem!reader #ukai x reader #kenma x fem!reader #haikyuu!!

[queersatanic]

@QueerSatanic social media

As the year ends, a little wrap-up of what we've been up to and where:

Facebook Satanic Antifascism: For now, this is mainly in-depth articles and some historical essays that are valuable as information but hated by the algorithm. At some point, we'd like to have the free time to go much more into the political Satanism of the 19th century which was associated with anarchism and socialism, and how these things are inherently opposed to the essentialism, stratification, and hierarchies of fascism.

Facebook Evergreen Memes for Queer Satanic Fiends: Your friendly neighborhood queer satanic meme page. We'd hoped we might end the year with 18K followers, but it doesn't look like we'll quite get there. Still, this is quite the come-up since the start of the pandemic in the USA when it had less than 500 followers. As it's the one being used as an excuse to try to continue a SLAPP suit against us, we try to confine most of our talk about The Satanic Temple here as well.

Facebook Anarchist Dreams With Queer Satanic Themes: Our backup queer satanic meme page. It mostly fills the same lane as "Evergreen" and we do a lot of crossposting but try not to outright duplicate everything. We also post a little less about TST over there.

Instagram @QueerSatanic: Primarily original content memes.

Twitter @QueerSatanic: A potpourri of 1.) absolute shitposting, 2.) quick OC memes for screenshots, 3.) retweets of very smart people you should be listening to (particularly on disability rights; Indigenous, Black, Brown, and Asian antiracism; antifascism; anticapitalism; and queerness), and 4.) Tweet threads about what latest awful thing we've discovered that The Satanic Temple and/or its leaders have done. A great place to publicly correct us if you see us make a factual error, btw (sincerely).

Reddit u/QueerSatanic: A little bit of shitposting. Some Satanism discourse but branching out into political and religious conversations more generally. The Satanic Temple's defenders really hate us over there, and the LaVeyan Satanists tolerate us except when we criticize Stinky Tony and his bad ideas.

Tumblr @queersatanic (hi): Not just discourse but ~d i s c o u r s e~, as well as some slightly more polished versions of those Twitter threads

Medium @QueerSatanic: This is the final version of those Twitter threads, written to be worthy of citation by other people or as resources for people looking for information directly. Relies heavily on work from collaborative project "The.Satanic.Wiki"

TikTok @QueerSatanic: This exists, but we have a lot to do already and videos are hard, so there's nothing there right now. Speaking of which

Patreon /QueerSatanic: We're working on what exactly it makes sense to paywall since we basically just want everyone to know everything we know as soon as we know it. But maybe making some video content with feedback from interested supporters would be worthwhile? We do have a YouTube channel and would like to do some readings of older texts so people have the option of ear-reading to them as well as eye-reading.

Redbubble people/QueerSatanic: We have designs donated by artist Hate Kill and tattooist/artist Vox Dombek (@AgenderBlob). If you ever send us a picture of you with our stuff, we love to re-post it because it makes us feel good.

And that's it? We think that's it. Except—

Moreover, we're still being sued by The Satanic Temple in federal court. Check the pinned post for more.

#Queer Satanic #Satanism #The Satanic Temple #year in review #your year in review #@QueerSatanic

[cloudfiles]

☁  ˙ ∙   — — — 𝐈𝐓'𝐒  𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄  𝑺𝑨𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑫𝑨𝒀 !!!  check  the  notes  to  see  who  is  participating  &  send  out  a  text  to  everyone.  that  being  said ,  be  patient  when  waiting  for  texts  to  arrive  to  your  inbox.  you’re  getting  some ,  we promise !  +  you  do  not need  to  be  doing  the  meme  yourself  to  send  stuff  out  to  other  muns.  in  fact ,  we’d  love  it  if  you  did  just  that.

remember ,  you  only  need  to  reblog  this  post  TODAY  (  saturday )  in  order  to  participate.  however ,  you  may  answer or  send  out memes  anytime  throughout  the  week.  * don’t  reblog  or  like  this  post  if  you’re  not  apart  of  hqclouds.

disastrio's 'the pin list' text starters.

src  :  aurorasmemes. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u should know by now i’m not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks 

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   give it a good deep fry and it’ll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m not making this up it’s a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i just really don’t like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what’s deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i genuinely don’t know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i legitimately don’t know how you’re expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m setting up my bfu episode

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u might finally be free of “[full name] fucks.”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   plural of jerry’s is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you’re sharing so there’s a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we’re just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well yeah, it’s hard to knock on a door that doesn’t exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i’m a sexual deviant and i can’t be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the stars neglected me. they haven’t assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me’ was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   “fully automated luxury gay space communism” is the best tag i’ve ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why don’t you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it’s nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i see your “will make content for rarepairs” and i raise you “will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what’s gonna come out of that?   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if i suffer y'all suffer that’s the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m gonna go with “have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn’t going to provide us with information”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   … Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh god i’d completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name]’s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i take it back i don’t want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i feel like you constantly forget that i’m always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   “white orc sex slave” is not a phrase i thought i’d hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE’S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you’re going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   …do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i’m crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn’t crawl up thanos’s butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my brain was immediately with “she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i literally never know what i’m going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and that’s not me saying flat earthers are right that’s me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say, i’m an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck off. i don’t know what they’ve done but it’s [name] so it’s gonna be bad.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   icb we have a test run on new year’s eve

#( meme day )

[sagamemes]

disastrio’s 'the pin list’ text starters.   below and under the cut, you can find ~100 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends. slightly edited for roleplay purposes. spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy(tm). edit as you please. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u should know by now i'm not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   give it a good deep fry and it'll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm not making this up it's a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i just really don't like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what's deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i genuinely don't know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i legitimately don't know how you're expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm setting up my bfu episode

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u might finally be free of "[full name] fucks."

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   plural of jerry's is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you're sharing so there's a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we're just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well yeah, it's hard to knock on a door that doesn't exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i'm a sexual deviant and i can't be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the stars neglected me. they haven't assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me' was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the best tag i've ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why don't you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i see your "will make content for rarepairs" and i raise you "will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what's gonna come out of that?   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if i suffer y'all suffer that's the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm gonna go with "have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn't going to provide us with information"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ... Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh god i'd completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name]'s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i take it back i don't want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i feel like you constantly forget that i'm always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "white orc sex slave" is not a phrase i thought i'd hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE'S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you're going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ...do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i'm crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn't crawl up thanos's butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my brain was immediately with "she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i literally never know what i'm going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and that's not me saying flat earthers are right that's me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say, i'm an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck off. i don't know what they've done but it's [name] so it's gonna be bad.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   icb we have a test run on new year's eve

#rp meme #text meme #texting meme #rp text meme #sentence meme #* meme. #* texts. #disastrio

[truly-a-snitch]

If 1A Had Tumblr

Aoyama: EXCLUSIVELY angelkin stuff and pictures of cheese. Maybe the occasional fashion post

Mina: She posts those "just girly things" and reads multichapter fanfictions and smaus. She tried to make her own but decided she wasn't cut out for it

Tsuyu: Animal Crossing posts and animal facts

Iida: Ha, he doesn't have tumblr.

Uraraka: Deku fanblog. Everybody knows its her and it isnt really weird because all the 1A kids have fanblogs about them because theyve been on the news so much yk. shes got posts like "i wish i had the courage to talk to him 👉👈" and talks about how she stares at him in class. Deku thinks she means being best friends bc hes dumb

Ojiro: Self defense and martial arts gifs. Sometimes he reblogs about working in retail because he wants a part-time

Kaminari: He doesn't really use it but when he does he posts one (1) thing and all it says is "sand" and then he disappears for a week

Kirishima: A Crimson Riot fanblog

Koda: The animal facts that Tsu reblogs from

Satou: Recipes and how to tell certain plants apart

Shoji: vent blog, otherwise i have NO idea

Jirou: Music and lots of like rocker chicks that she thinks are hot

Sero: ULTIMATE meme king. he crossposts on tumblr, twitter, and reddit and he has an insane following on all three

Tokoyami: He posts about witchcraft and the supernatural. He also has a sideblog where he writes poetry and talks about "his other half." Everyone thinks its this goth chick but hes just talking about his platonic love for Dark Shadow

Todoroki: He reblogs pictures of soba and gifs of anime food. Thats it

Hagakure: Cottagecore lesbian!! She frequently does "collabs" with Satou where they just bake and take care of plants and knit and stuff and she posts about those times. Also, a lot of posts about froggy chair

Bakugou: BIG PUKICHO ENERGY. He's a shitpost blog 100% and hes FAMOUS. Most of his posts are him responding to asks and go like this: (anon: "i hate you") bakugou: your bones are ripe and im going to harvest them

Midoriya: SIS... he has so many goddamn blogs like how do u keep track of them?? hes got like a fitness blog and a vent blog and an aesthetic blog and a fanblog for all might and a bunch of anime fanblogs and he posts on all of them regularly?? does he not sleep????

Mineta: He doesn't post but he follows porn blogs

Yaoyorozu: She doesnt really use it she only has it for the class groupchat that Uraraka made

bonus: they all follow each other. since iida doesnt have a blog they use the gc to plan his birthday parties and talk about rules they broke without getting scolded. Mineta was removed from the group after he asked all the girls to send nudes

[kaitlynpcallmebeepme]

Food and Wine Festival

Food and Wine Festival

Tom Holland x Reader 

Warnings: Fluff and Food

Summary: A trip to Disney World, but seeing it in a new light. 

A/N: This is my first of two works I have for @peeterparkr and @marvelousxtsh (now @lovestrucktom) for their Rom Coms writing challenge. Both of them are separate from one another. I am VERY LATE on this, but I had to get my college readings annotated before band camp starts because I know I will have no time then to work at all.

#mandnchickflicksummer

I’ve only been to Epcot once on a band trip and I realized why I don’t like it (or maybe it’s just my family). I tried to do some research before writing this. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Requests are open and Messages are open if you want to chat. I’m trying to make these shorter because I’m behind on some of my writing. Also, sorry for not really putting the events in order by where they are in the park. I haven’t been there in years and forget how it’s set up. P.P.S. As I was googling stuff, the question came up on what phd does Dr. Doofenshmirtz have on reddit? The person who asked had a username of u/SEND_ME_YOUR_D1CK and that made me laugh at 5 a.m. I’m going to link the two videos that helped me out. One is from Disney Food Blog which gives great coverage on disney snacks in all parks and one is a vlog from one of my favorite youtubers, Syndicate (on his Life of Tom vlog channel)

Disney Food Blog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNk550AeBuY

Life of Tom vlog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG1-M-EqdLo

P.S. Ok, I’ve now seen Far From Home because I won a bet and my mom said she’d take me to see my first Marvel movie in theaters. I’m going to write something else about what happened that day. ♡

Tag list: Send me an ask if you want to be added. 

@trashinaglass and @peter-pan-hoe ( @definitely-not-black-cat and @nnatasha you two seemed to like my stuff so I added you, tell me if you want me to take you off) 

Song Prompt:

1. I see the light – Tangled

Word count: 1,383

This ended up being so much longer than I intended.

"Tom. Please. I've been to Disney World a million times. I can probably make it around Magic Kingdom without a map that's how well I know it." It was late summer, before the hussle of school and work swept everyone away, Tom wanted to get away for a mini vacation with you.

“Please come with me. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. And you know how much Disneyland freaks out when there's a celebrity there. Also, you can go on different things that you wouldn't normally go on.” You don’t like to admit when he’s right. Your family can be a little controlling when it comes to vacations. Like why does a baseball game need to be involved in every one.

“You know that won’t stop people from coming up to you.”

“We’ll just wear our matching bucket hats and be that couple. Please.” You couldn’t resist his puppy pout anymore, and you both needed a break.

“Ok, as long as we don't go on roller coasters if I get sick from one.” 

“I won't make you go through that. Especially the amount of stories you tell me about someone being sick on vacation.”

After a long plane ride and a good night's rest, you two are ready for a trip. You got your backpack with the old school Disney World logo ready to get your weekly tickets. You got the tickets while Tom was spending time with a couple people who noticed him. You both never minded it as long as they were respectful. You thank the lady as Tom heads back to where you’re standing. 

“Ok, you want to head to Epcot first?” 

That five letter word made you choke on your own spit.  You followed Tom up the railway to the monorail. As you waited in line, you felt the need to tell Tom what's been eating at your mind. “Tom, you know I don't really like Epcot that much.”  

“What! Why?”  

“Well, the only other time I've been here was with my family once we went on the band field trip here. You know my dad never keeps his opinion to himself about how he thinks all of this ozone layer and eco saving thing is bullshit and how he hates culture. He just kinda complained that whole day, so I've never liked the park. Also, there's more food than rides here and you know I’m not a big food guru.” 

“Is your dad coming with us?” 

“What?”

“Is your dad coming on our vacation with us?” 

“No. But what does that-.” 

“Then his opinion and voice should not affect our judgement.” To be fair, Tom has changed your opinion on a lot of things, football (English kind) being one of them. You just didn't know if you could shut up that annoying tick in the back of your head that repeats all the things your Dad would say about this place, but you were willing to give it a shot. You grabbed a food passport and map in front of the golf ball and off you two went.

Before entering the park, you booked fastpasses for the one thing you knew you loved at Epcot, and that was Sorin’. It felt like you had wings and earth with its gravity could never take hold of you again. Even with the fastpasses the line wasn’t too long because people wanted to be the first to get the food in all the countries. It reminded you how Harry would have his drones to get the cinematic videos of the ocean washing up on the beach that look gorgeous. But alas, you had to touch ground again and continue. 

You two went to have a good time eating stuff. Like you wanted to order everything from the Irish stand, except the alcohol which Tom took so you could keep the decorative cup (best boyfriend ever), so you settled on chocolate pudding with custard and the two of you split the Irish sausage with potatoes and gravy. You two weren’t worried about overfilling yourselves because 1) everyone does that at the food and wine festival and 2) there weren’t many rides that could make you throw up afterwards. 

You grab a Light Lab Phosphorescent Phreeze (you secretly wanted to collect all the cups you could) and signed up to do a Perry the Platypus adventure in the UK (just to see if Tom liked their stereotyping). “Okay, well this is from and American Disney Show Phineas and Ferb where they do a bunch of crazy stuff during the summer, and the subplot is their pet platypus is a secret agent that stops this not-so-good supervillain every episode. Dr. Dofesnberg-something was his name. You basically have to go to different shops within the country, follow the story video on our phone, and some objects will move as you interact with stuff. Basically stopping this guy from carrying out his completely elaborate and unnecessary evil scheme to rule the world.” 

“Okay, and of course it’s about golf. How can you get more British than that.” Apparently the adventure included tea once you told the cashier a secret word phrase, so yes, it got more British than golf. 

You guys stopped by Canada and you could not stop doing impressions of Ryan Renolds as you stopped for a quick snack as the Perry the Platypus mission took an hour. You ordered a Canadian Cheddar Cheese and Bacon soup with pretzel rolls to split (of which you only at the pretzels because even Tom doesn’t know why you don’t like bacon).

After the Frozen ride and a couple more snacks along the way you settled in China and watched some acrobatics and get out of the heat. You couldn’t do everything in Mexico, but the San Angel Inn would be a place you save for a different trip. You got your faces painted to be half skulls with decorative details. It definitely helped you get recognized less. 

Last stop of the night before the fireworks/water show you traveled to Japan. The architecture was realistic and you just thought of the time it took for someone to design and construct that. You both waited in line to try to see if you could get a pearl out of an oyster. You both end up getting one with the lady being very excited for you two. “Mine was 7 ¾ mm, and what was your Tom?”

“7 ½ mm. But you know size doesn’t matter.”

It wasn’t long before the fireworks and lights danced on the water’s surface and you two were heading back from a long day. Tom wanted to take the ferry boat back complaining that the line for the monorail was too long. It always is but the boat was very slow. You gave into his wishes because he was the one who made you enjoy the park today. You stood over the bow of the ship looking at your reflection upon the water until Tom broke you from your thoughts.

“So, didn't I say you would have a good time?”

 “Yes you did. My dad's opinion did not affect my judgement as much as I thought it would. It’s still hard to see things with my own opinion, but I’m getting better at it. Thank you Tom.” 

“My pleasure princess. Maybe next time we can crack some oysters and keep the pearl” You two share a sweet kiss and the fireworks in Magic Kingdom across the water started going off. Nothing could make this moment more romantic. “But there's still one more thing to do tonight.” 

“Thomas Stanley Holland. Do NOT follow that statement with ‘when we get back to the hotel’.” 

He laughed so much that he leaned back and his eyes crinkled in the corners. “Not what I was going to say darling.” You’re still confused at his intentions, until he starts playing music from his phone and holds your arms out while you two are on the tip of the boat; keeping his hands on your hips.

“Only you could turn this into a Titanic moment. “I'm flying Jack. I'm flying.”

The moment had gotten better once you realized Tom had asked a crew member to take your picture, and now you have a new phone background and a new perspective.

#mandnchickflicksummer #epcotdisney #epcot #disneyworld #food and wine festival #tom holland x you #vacation #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland reader insert #tom holland reader #tom holland story #tom holland blurb #tom holland boyfriend #tom holland one shot #tom reader #tom holland one-shot

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Remembering Advice Animals, one of the internet's first viral memes

It’s Viral Market Crash week on Mashable. Join us as we take stock of the viral economy and investigate how the internet morphed from a fun free-for-all to a bleak hellscape we just can’t quit.

Today's internet is an endless buffet of memes. Bountiful GIFs, viral videos, and an innumerable amount of tweets are bestowed upon us on a daily basis. But before that wide and glorious selection was available to us, there was really only one entree on the table: Advice Animals.

Remember Advice Animals? Those early internet memes like Scumbag Steve and the Overly Attached Girlfriend, that consisted of a picture and two lines of text delivering a rudimentary joke. In 2006, these guys started spreading snarky jokes, embarrassing stories, and musings. They positively dominated sites like Reddit, Tumblr, and 4Chan in the late aughts. 

SEE ALSO: The Origins of the Word 'Meme'

Now, however, Advice Animals have largely fallen out of favor. It's not really surprising, given the short shelf life of a meme in the wild world of the internet these days. What's more shocking is how long Advice Animals lasted — and how they met their demise. 

A brief history of Advice Animal memes

Advice Animals are a category of memes originally derived from the Advice Dog meme — hence the name, though they aren't just limited to animals.

The Advice Dog meme first appeared in 2006, according to Know Your Meme, an online database dedicated to cataloguing all internet phenomena. Advice Dog's construction is simple: a goofy dog's face was placed in the center of a bright rainbow pinwheel, and (typically) terrible advice was superimposed on the top and bottom of the image. The use of the image macro format  — a general term for a captioned image — made the meme fairly easy to replicate and expand on.

Soon after Advice Dog's popularity grew, so did its spin-offs, dubbed Advice Animals.

Some of the most popular Advice Animals: Business Cat, a cat sporting a tie and offering advice fit for feline co-workers; Socially Awkward Penguin, a penguin lacking in self esteem and social graces; Scumbag Steve, a youth known for his sideways cap and flair for getting into precarious situations; and Bad Luck Brian, a braces-clad teen wearing a vest who suffers from perpetual bad luck. 

(Know Your Meme has an extensive Periodic Table of Advice Animals if you want to dive deep). 

In 2009, Memegenerator.net became one of the first websites to allow users to create memes with their own desired text, according to Know Your Meme, with copycat sites like Memebase and Quickmeme following. 

By 2010, Reddit had become a hotspot for sharing Advice Animal memes with the addition of the r/AdviceAnimals subreddit. In 2014, the subreddit had 4.2 million subscribers and was featured prominently on Reddit’s front page, according to the Daily Dot. 

And then ... people slowly lost interest.

Did Reddit kill Advice Animals?

On May 7, 2014, the r/AdviceAnimals subreddit was removed from the front page. The platform issued a statement explaining that its old defaults were determined by popularity and that the company wanted to shake things up a bit with some new subs. 

Amanda Brennan, a Know Your Meme alumna and current Tumblr employee who has been dubbed the "librarian of the internet," told Mashable that Advice Animals' removal from Reddit's front page could have definitely contributed to a decline in the subreddit's reach and the memes' appeal.

"Having something removed from the Reddit front page, you lose that audience that you would get from someone who is logging into Reddit, or who may just come casually," Brennan explained. 

Instead, people would have to intentionally seek out the group in order to see it. 

The subreddit brought in 83.7 million page views and 8.3 million uniques one month prior to its removal from the front page. The following year those numbers went down to 29.8 million page views and 3.5 million uniques, according to a 2014 report from Kernel.

Google Trends also point to a decline in "advice animals" searches after May 2014, when r/AdviceAnimals was removed as a default subreddit.

There are a handful of things that could have encouraged Reddit to remove the Advice Animals sub from its front page.  

The Quickmeme Scandal

In 2013, Advice Animals faced one of its biggest scandals — the infiltration of Quickmeme.

Quickmeme, a popular meme-generating site, was launched by brothers Wayne and Stephen Miltz in 2010, generating about $1.6 million a month, according to the Daily Dot. Quickmeme links were frequently submitted to r/AdviceAnimals, though other generator sites like memegenerator.net were submitted somewhat regularly.

By June 2011 r/AdviceAnimals began looking for a new moderator to help run the growing subreddit, and Redditor gtw08 was voted into the position. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until 2012, when fellow r/AdviceAnimals moderator ManWithoutModem started to notice that gtw08 was deleting links from Livememe. 

Livememe, which debuted in 2012, was one of Quickmeme's largest competitors due to its ability to support GIFs. It struck ManWithoutModem as odd that only Quickmemes were getting upvoted while Livememe's were being deleted. 

ManWithoutModem's concerns were dismissed by the other mods, but after talking to suspicious members of the subreddit in a private chat they decided to go some digging. In 2013, it was discovered that gtw08 was actually Quickmeme owner Wayne Miltz, clearly gaming the Reddit system. The Miltz brothers and Quickmeme ended up being placed on a site-wide ban.

Brennan believes that the perceived manipulation of the Reddit subculture could have created a sense of distance.

"Seeing someone try to manipulate it [the subreddit community] and being called out for manipulating it gives that hive mind a, 'Oh, I don't want to get involved with someone that's trying to manipulate our culture for their own personal gain,'" Brennan said.

Advice Animals saw an influx of bigoted content

Like many internet communities, Advice Animals fell victim to racist and bigoted comments and memes.

According to a recent  r/TheoryOfReddit thread dissecting why Advice Animals have become less popular, racism was cited as a big contributing factor.

"Years ago around when the Racist Unpopular Opinion Puffin was starting to take over the sub and they were starting to build a certain reputation, Reddit expanded the default subs from 25 to 50 and dropped AA as a default," wrote u/diiejso. "It's possible that at this point new users weren't automatically seeing the sub and it started a gradual decline then."

Racist Advice Animal memes are still found on the subreddit, though the community now has strict rules against using Advice Animals (specifically the Unpopular Opinion Puffin) to make bigoted statements or remarks. The new rules were instated by its moderators July 14, 2015 and have been pinned to the top of r/AdviceAnimals for newcomers and old subscribers to see. 

"We're here to have a laugh; hate speech, bigotry, and personal attacks are not allowed," state r/AdviceAnimals' rules in bold. 

But with millions of subscribers it's not easy for unpaid mods to catch every crude meme or remark.

Reddit has had a longstanding struggle dealing with hate speech and controversial communities. So, it's not a surprise that a subreddit as popular as r/AdviceAnimals got tangled up with the bad side of Reddit.

Brennan explained that often times people will use use popular joke structures (like those of the Advice Animals) and language online to make racist statements to see if others agree with their ideology.

"As Advice Animals get more mainstream, more people are shown that structure of language and it's like, 'Oh people are joking about this stuff, maybe let me just test the waters and see if my ideology lands with people and then I can find my racist friends,'" Brennan said. 

This can create a kind of snowball effect, gathering more and more people through the use of mainstream language and mainstream attention, according to Brennan. 

We can't blame it all on Reddit 

Now in 2018, the still active Advice Animals subreddit has risen to 5 million subscribers, so it seems strange and a little bizarre to hold Reddit solely accountable for the decline of Advice Animal memes.   

Though, even with such a high number of subscribers the interest in Advice Animals just isn't there like it once was. Memes evolve on a daily basis, reaction GIFs became a form of communication, and Advice Animals became tired, and almost juvenile.

Now, memes tend to avoid the goofiness of their predecessors. Instead they're digestible bites of complex and surreal content, think Change My Mind meme, or the Gym Kardashian memes. They're in conversation with pop culture, current events, and nuanced human emotions in ways Advice Animals never were. The crude and sophomoric language of Advice Animals just can't compete with the offbeat and irreverent memes of today. 

"It is full of low effort content that just isn't enjoyable," said namer98, in a r/TheoryOfReddit thread, a year ago. 

Advice Animal memes are played out and unoriginal: the pumpkin spice latte of memes.

Brennan offers an explanation for the subreddit's continued userbase: "I think that it still has subscribers out of nostalgia, people who are maybe a little older, who really participated in the 'memey-ness' of it [the subreddit] in its heyday and don't want to unsubscribe because they still find them funny."

The likelihood of Advice Animals seeing a full resurgence is slim, according to Brennan, in large part because the technology we use to view and absorb memes has changed drastically.

"If you think back to 2012 or 2011 and the way that we spoke online and the power our phones had, it was easier to download a photo than it was to download a GIF," Brennan explained. "And now WiFi is everywhere. Our phones are faster, we can make more videos with our phones. Cameras are getting better."

Still, there's a little bit of Advice Animals to be found in all present day memes, says Brennan: "There's always iterations of Advice Animals that you can find. Like, you can find some evolved version of it [Advice Animals] no matter where you look in meme culture, because all the archetypes are there. It's all about fleshing out what you understand about these ideas of people through whatever the structure of the language is."

As far as the future of memes goes, it's unclear. But Brennan says that she knows one thing to be true: people will always use memes and their language to connect to others, in addition to connecting with themselves.

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#_uuid:ac5b19bb-0be4-3cc9-99ed-d525a58d3c22 #_author:Amanda Luz Henning Santiago #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

[justafuckingwaste-blog]

the fuck.

“emptyhomes,chaoticheads” I just hit the walls not with fists brick involved nah I just hit the walls in my head.

its a picture I would draw with a mix of synthy chords distant words that get involved and some lead.

its just, a, a, a, a, a- F        U        C        K

                     F        U        C        K

F        U        C        K.

oh well ill be the star of the show someday. /

“d=====wire”

i dont have the time and i dont have the space but all i have is time and really i just hate to face me in the mirror cause me | me never changed and im connected with this fucking sticker on my stomach wish i could rip it out for some glimmer in my summer but i would ju-

/

“paperr_rr stains”

I just followed the formula

I didnt say nothing more

I didnt think id get bored of her

she didnt want nothing more

but we just couldn’t connect

sentences just fell

apart, and

I 

just

didnt

do

no

thing 

fuck.

/

“six letters love in lust” 

its an infatuation world i put, six letters over you, not, five letters over me, for, four, or four, for me, as it’s, its just a moment passing, in which, i hate that, i love you, cause, passive attention poisons intention, while, passing moments cant scream retention, and                                           (im _alone_ in spacial nothing,)  where nothing gleams |                                    | |                                    | |                                    |  just drugs that numb it

/

“delaviña”

I. I know that you love when it rains cause those flames just detain, (but im lost in this bubble, when it rains, here in spain,) its like I can’t love being trapped unless its love through you, and I ha-ha hate it when you struggle cause I can’t ever be enough, from a distance, ‘urgh’ I’m in trouble. II. cause im fucking                                  late to        everything important        and its                                                        a                                                struggle,                                                 just to understand where your head is. III. it’ll hurt when I get it, but you’ll burn while I reddit, wish I could turn while I read it, and be more for you. cause im awful, awful just like you, and I dont hurt, so I dont know how you do, but im a                                                                                    W A S T E O F S P A C E. so I’m not like you.

IV. and, you don’t love me bad,              while you don’t love me back,                and while I’m stuck with that, I know you just want to leave; but you can’t go. V. I know how it feels, to be lost in the heat, and its not much, cause I can’t know how to feel, other than to project on the beat, its just, i wish you weren’t real.

/

“sunrxse🌹”

its the middle of the summer and I’m on a balcony with two north face jackets on like I’m THAT cold not that I’m not but, its symbolic to say the least, and to make it even stupider i made it here for memes. then i sent some snapchats, cause what else is there to do, set a laptop up, microphone and midi too, for picture perfect moments that don’t ever seem to work because the lens in me is perfect and the lens in machine just, isn’t worth it, and I’m here cause there’s like nowhere else that i could be, and its awkward for more than me, cause we cut down our trees, that doesn’t matter though, cause all that matters is the destiny bond, and the rest of we has gone to sleep, so it’s just me on horizon, and i see the sun rising so t’s not so bad, i just wish it were 2am, during a frozen whatsapp cause now you’re here again, and       bitch can’t you                  see                    I HATE THE FUCKING SUNRISE.                     … don’t you wish i were real?

/

“its just a s_aaaaaa_dre_aaaaaa_m“

it ain’t back in the day no more but it felt like it was it’s a bang bang bang in the mind,                   never mind never understand this language of mine, cause you’re just never here, only here when i close my eyes and i don’t sleep forever, wish I would, or wish I could, but we can’t live in leanworld, because this just isn’t real, but while we’re at it, what’s your favourite song? and what wakes you up in mornings? where’d you come from? and what’s your thing behind it all? what’s the point of living, I’m not looking for an answer, just a filler for the vast amount of time I’m always after, and would you maybe like to listen to me talk about my visions, while we sit up in the kitchen telling stories to the kids and, what the fuck is, oh wait, you aren’t real.

#writing #poetry