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steddieunderdogfics · 28 days

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: MISSBERRYCAKE! They have six fics posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and five of them posted to the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by Missberrycake:

When the Sun is High (I'll Meet You in the Woods)

An Act of Grace

If I Loved You Less.

Blackbird

The Wonder

"I'm nominating missberrycake for a spotlight because I've loved a number of her works that I think have been underappreciated. Her pieces can be quite melancholy, but I think are really lovely and always leave me feeling content. She writes dialogue and characters in a very believable and layered way. I first came across her after her most popular fic, though I think she's done some fabulous ones since!" -- anonymous

Below the cut, Missberrycake answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Ooh, I have a long and storied past with shipping and, while I've been a Stranger Things fan since the start, I hadn't really picked up any shipping threads until S4. I think Steve and Eddie have a great mix of that jock and loser dynamic and enemies to lovers vibe that works really well - but also the ending to S4 was really ripe for some good angst storytelling. A little reminiscent of Stucky or Reddie.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Hm. I'm not sure. I am a sucker for time travel, but I don't think I've red too much of that. Probably slow-burn - I just love being frustrated!

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Well … according to my most used tags on Ao3, it's AUs and Time Travel, and Friends to Lovers shows up there as well, which all sound right. I know that I'm enjoying a book or show or whatever when I think, I need to write and AU of this!

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Ahh! That's too hard - I have a lot of bookmarks for fics I love! It’ probably a battle between Lovesick in Loch Nora by red0aktree and standing up the dead by heartofwinterfell. The first is so gah, you know? So romcon. The latter, I love the concept. Even though it's Max-led, Eddie is fabulously done in that fic, for sure.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Not really - ideas tend to swoop in when I'm not actively thinking about it. I have had a niggling little thought about a folklore esque cryptic came back wrong story, something creepy, you know. But we'll see!

What is your writing process like?

Overly organised! I'm a planner, so I need to know what the ending is before I start - I will generally map out acts and scenes and character arcs before I write the first sentence, which I think helps me immensely so that I don't have to do so many edits later.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I'm sure I must do, but I don't know about them. I guess - I'll tend to write all my dialogue in a scene first as a but of a template and then fill in the gaps.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Oh, when I've finished for sure. The only time I've ever abandoned a fix was when I posted as I was going on a schedule and it really killed the enjoyment of it for me - too much pressure on timing and the lack if ability to go back and fiddle with things.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I'll stick to my Steddie fics, so it would have to be An Act of Grace, for the Bigbang. I adore that fic, honestly, and worked really hard on it. I think it came out almost exactly how I wanted it and I was so excited when posting finally arrived!

How did you get the idea for An Act of Grace?

It was two things, really - firstly I had watched ‘Howards End’ with Joseph Quinn in and fully needed to see Eddie in the similar time period, I could not get it out of my head - the idea of a servant Eddie and aristocratic Steve came to me pretty quickly after that and was too perfect. Also, though, I wanted to do something with a distinctly English vibe to it (I am English!) - I sometimes feel a bit at sea writing USAmerican characters and settings, so something more familiar I though might work better for me.

When writing When the Sun is High (I’ll Meet You In the Woods), what was something you didn’t expect?

For it to be so popular, actually! Particularly as it was being posted. It's my most popular Steddie fic by a country mile and I'm really fond of it - trying to get a version of Steve and Eddie who had a history to work with canon was a fun challenge.

What inspired If I Loved You Less?

Well, its an Emma AU, so Emma! I was watching the most recent film adaption and NEEDED to write it, but I also loved Clueless growing up, so putting a modern twist on it made the most sense to me. The placement of characters in that story was very fun!

What was your favorite part to write from Blackbird?

The tree decorating scene, for sure. I love that part of Christmas myself, so I had a great time adding in little bits and pieces from people I know and traditions they have.

How do/did you feel writing When the Sun is High (I’ll Meet You In the Woods)?

Gosh, it feels like it was so long ago! I was just excited to get something out into fandom, I think, and to become part of the community.

What was the most difficult part of writing The Wonder?

Ooh, probably knowing that it wasn't going to do very well? 😄 I completely love that little fic, so to kind of keep it contained to just Eddie and Wayne - even mostly Wayne - was tricky. Sometimes less is more!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Hm. In the epilogue of An Act of Grace, Claudia gives a little speech about Steddie. I think I like that a lot for the way it kind of sums everything up so nicely. A bit of a snapshot of them as characters.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Nope! I've taken a bit of a break from writing at the moment, buy I've been at it for 13 years, so I'm sure I'll be back at it in the future.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just to say thank you to whoever submitted my name! It's made my month, probably!

Thank you to our author, Missberrycake, and our anonymous nominator! See more of Missberrycake's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#steddie #steddie fic recs #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddie writers #writer's wednesday #writer's spotlight

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squeakykid · 11 months

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Day 7 (final day!!!) of Reddie Week, canon divergence. There are more chapters of this fic on AO3 if you're interested.

Eddie could still feel Richie's strong arms bundling him up as he shouted "Eddie! Get out of the way!" And then flipped himself on top of Eddie just in time for the claw to pierce entirely through Richie's stomach. It was a brutal, gory, death. It all happened too fast, so fast that it felt unreal. His head fogged over and he just stared. Richie's body was lifted in the air as if Pennywise was putting him proudly on display. ‘How did he know to push me out of the way?’ was all that was on Eddie's mind. Repeating over and over again. Bill ran over to Eddie and pulled him back into cover after he laid there, unmoving, covered in Richie's blood. Brave Richie. He always had to be brave. Eddie had his chance to be brave for Richie, to redeem himself, but he failed. Richie said Eddie was braver than he thought he was, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Eddie was a coward. He'd always been a coward.

Richie was flung limply to the cave floor, but Eddie didn't even notice at first because he felt like his soul had left his body as soon as Richie was impaled. Like he was watching himself watch Richie from a bird's eye view. Like everything was just a fucked up dollhouse of horrors beyond comprehension. He was brought back to life by Richie's whimpers of "Eddie, Eddie, are you okay?" Eddie wanted to shout at him instantly. Hey dumbass! Worry about yourself for once! I'm fine! I'm totally completely fine, but you. Eddie was physically fine, but on the inside he was breaking. Shattering like glass that was only ever held together with scotch tape. The weak adhesive was never going to hold.

Eddie went to his side. He looked at the wound and instantly knew it was hopeless. Richie was only still clinging onto life because death was resistant to take him. The grim reaper didn't want to put up with his annoying dick and your mom jokes. As Eddie held his jacket against Richie's wound to keep him with him as long as he could, he wished the grim reaper really wouldn't take him. That he'd leave him in Eddie's care because he was the only one that could really put up with Richie. He wanted to keep putting up with Richie's stupid jokes and hacky impressions forever. It was a gut punch to realize he wanted that at a time like this when, now, he had no realistic chance.

"Is it bad?" Richie asked with a smile that reeked of fake optimism.

"Yeah, pretty fucking bad, asshole." Eddie replied, still pressing hard against the wound. It was pointless. All it was doing was prolonging Richie's suffering. There was no saving him, Eddie knew that. He pressed hard anyway. "Why'd you do it?" He asked because he had to know. Why, Richie.

Richie just looked at him like he was speaking another language. "Why?"

"Yeah." Eddie could feel the red rising in his eyes because what he said wasn't that hard to comprehend. "Why'd you do it, Rich? How'd you…how'd you know that I needed to move?"

He shrugged lightly, seeming a bit drunk. "I just had a feeling something was gonna happen."

"So, you got in front of it?" Eddie felt desperate.

Richie's words were starting to slur. "Didn't have a lot of time to think. Just knew I had to protect you."

"Well, maybe you need to protect yourself, Richie!" Eddie snapped. He felt the color rising in his cheeks and noticed, in a hot panic, that he was starting to cry.

Richie smiled loosely. "Tears? For little ole me, Eds?"

"Shut up." Eddie spoke in quick puffs while he focused on keeping together the crumbling dam behind his eyes. He couldn't let himself break.

Richie reached him with a weak hand and brushed the tears away. "Didn't know you cared so much."

"Richie, you're being stupid. Can't you just stop being stupid for two minutes?" Eddie tried to catch his breath, but couldn't seem to get the breath to stay in his body. He felt himself reach for his inhaler, but of course it was gone. Wasted in a useless attempt to resist their fate.

"Hey, hey, breathe," Richie put a grounding hand on Eddie's chest and took shallow breaths that seemed to hurt as he attempted to guide Eddie to breathe. And it was helping. Eddie hated himself for that. That he could let Richie help him even though he was the one that was dying. "There you go, that's better." Richie smiled at him.

"Don't be like that." Eddie reprimanded.

"Like what?"

"Aren't you scared?" Eddie blurted out, tears flying from his eyes and spit from his mouth.

"Nah," he said, but Eddie knew he was lying. "I got Dr. K right here to fix me up."

"I can't ‘fix you up’, Richie! What could I possibly do? I'm not a doctor, I'm a fucking risk analyst, and the chances that you're gonna die with those injuries are…" he trailed off. He knew Richie knew that with the sad way he kept smiling at him.

There was a thick silence between them, full of words neither of them could seem to say. "I know." Richie said. "But I'd do it again if it meant you'd be okay." His voice was getting thinner and more distant.

"Well, that's fucking stupid." He shouted, feeling the warm blood soaking fully through the jacket. "What if I didn't fucking want you to, huh? What if I don't want to live if it means you're gonna die?" Richie's eyes seemed to grow further and further away. "Answer me, Richie!" He screamed wildly. "Answer me!" Eddie shook him, beat on his chest, screamed, but he was gone. There was no more life in his eyes. Eddie took off his glasses, folded them, and put them in his back pocket. Then, he brought a reluctant hand up to Richie's cold, still, cheek. "You idiot." He whimpered as he looked around to make sure no one was looking and pressed a gentle kiss to Richie's forehead.

Running from Richie's side like a shot, Eddie joined the others as they tried to fight against the force that tore Richie from him forever. "Hey asshole!" Eddie shouted, the fear he felt evaporating, replaced with buzzing rage.

Everyone looked at him. "Eddie, what are you doing?" Bev asked carefully, approaching him like a man on a building that was about to jump.

"Trust me." Eddie insisted. "I was choking him at the pharmacy. Really choking him. I was winning. I know I was. I knocked him off his game and made him feel small." Recognition registered in Bev's eyes as Eddie turned back to Pennywise. "You think I'm fucking afraid of a balding clown with a big forehead? That's actually hysterical. I have a lot of practice dealing with clowns that are way funnier than you. So, if you're not scary and you're not funny, then what the fuck good are you? Pretty shitty fucking clown."

"I'm the eater of worlds!" The giant spider form of Pennywise seemed to stumble slightly.

"Cute nickname, but last I checked you eat kids, not worlds. So, maybe you should rethink this little god complex you have going on. It's not so hard when you're picking on helpless kids. I could punt a kid across the room, but I don't. You know why I don't? Because I'm not a fucking weak asshole who needs to hurt kids to feel powerful. Fuck you." All of Eddie's nerve endings were buzzing. It was working. He could tell it was working.

"You're a weak old woman!" Bev added, standing behind Eddie.

"You're just a stupid fucking clown!" The others joined in one by one to back up Eddie and lead the assault on Pennywise.

Insult by insult they chipped away at Pennywise until it was nothing more than a white quivering lump on the ground, like a melting discarded ice cream cone. Eddie glowered down at it. Its tiny hands reached out as it spoke on a mousy squeak. "Spare me." It begged only once and Eddie let loose an easy bitter laugh, as he tore his nails into its chest with both hands and tore out what its little hands tried to protect. A beating heart. "This is for Richie, you ugly nasty pathetic worm." Eddie could hear his voice crack and squeal, but he didn't give a fuck. He drew the heart high above his head and tossed it with force onto the ground, moving on it. Kicking and stomping savagely. The others joined in briefly until the deadlights went out and Pennywise shriveled away like ash and dust in the wind. Eddie was still stomping even when there was nothing else there and the place started to come down.

(you may recognize this @gloomy-prince drew it for this fic

"Where's Richie?" Bill asked, pulling Eddie from his focused assault.

Eddie's hand went to Richie's glasses in his pocket, the pocket where he used to keep his inhaler. "Richie's gone." He forced out. Several eyes caught his as they looked at each other, beginning to panic. "He's gone." Eddie said more firmly. "Now, get out of here before I have to bury more of my best friends." They all nodded, knowing they didn't have long. The place was coming down all around them.

He knew he was leaving Richie there, but what could he do? Richie was gone. He wouldn't have been able to carry the other, much larger, man out. He knew he couldn't disrespect Richie's sacrifice by doing something stupid like trying to get him out. No matter how much he wished he could. No matter how much the thought of his childhood best friend rotting down there forever made his skin itch.

The Losers went to the quarry to wash away the dirt and gray water. Eddie mostly stayed to the side on dry land and watched them in the water. He had Richie's glasses, still smeared with his blood, in his hands. Things were quiet. Eerily quiet without Richie. He'd never be there to fill the silence again.

Bev floated over to the bank where Eddie reclined. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he said back, but didn't meet her gaze.

She pulled herself slightly up to sit with him. She saw the glasses and took a long look. "Do you want me to clean them off for you?"

"No." He replied coolly, still not meeting her eyes. "I can't do it." He said finally.

"Can't do what?" Her voice was soft and smooth like a gentle blanket bundling him up.

"I can't wash it away. It's all I have left." He still refused to look at her, but tightened his grip on the glasses.

She nodded in understanding. "I saw." She said.

"Saw what?

"I saw him die." He looked back at her. "I saw us all die in so many ways. I didn't know which ones were real. I had no idea. I'm so sorry." She was trembling. "It's like…every possibility from every possible universe ran through my head." He wanted to reach out to her, but his hands wouldn't move from Richie's glasses. "Did you kiss his head?" She asked quietly and eventually took his silence as an answer. "I saw that too." She said, "Just that much. I always knew how much he meant to you. How much you meant to each other. If it were you-"

"Thank you, Beverly," he cut her off gently. "I don't blame you at all. You did everything you could." She nodded in understanding and slowly went back to be with Ben. They deserved to be happy. He just wished so fucking hard that Richie was causing trouble in the water, splashing grieving faces until they turn to smiles. He'd have done that for them if he had lived. If Richie had lived he'd be able to make them all smile. Eddie couldn't do that. He didn't have that magic inside him that Richie did. The power to make even the most dire situation tolerable. He always did that for Eddie, even if he was annoying the hell out of him. If it were Eddie that died, Richie could have made everyone feel better again. But Richie didn't live. Eddie did. And Eddie couldn't do that.

So, he was back on the plane to New York because his vacation days would run out by Monday, and what else was he supposed to do? He couldn't change things. He and Richie had talked about staying in touch. Leaving together to spend a few days catching up before they had to go back to their lives. If Eddie even wanted to go back to his life after spending any more time with Richie. He wasn't sure if he would have, but now he'd never know. Now Richie was rotting under Neibolt and, well, those risks weren't gonna analyze themselves.

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #it 2017 #it by stephen king #reddie week #reddie week 2023 #reddieweek #death #violence #day 7 canon divergence #sunnywrites #fanfiction #long post

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rchtzr · 2 years

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top five bookmarked fics :)

oooohohohoh ty for asking!! i'm going to share my recent steveddie faves but i have multiple reddie fic recs in my fic rec tag

play it right by @stereobone i love/rec all of their steveddie fics but this one specifically ticks all of my boxes like it was catered to me. i have already read it twice and i'm sure i'll continue to reread

windowsill by lagardère (laurore), MissAntlers this is a rear window inspired au in max's pov and it's incredible. just so good

eddie's spectacular, awkward, very safe, very fun first time by @alligator-writes listen to me. virgin!eddie and steve's-first-time-with-a-guy is one of my favorite steveddie tropes (is it a trope?). and this is *clenches fist* so good

throw me one by @toburnup a modern au where steve and eddie are friends with benefits. i devoured this fic and all of their other works, highly recommend!

territory: unknown by @red-0ak-tree a camping fic where steve and eddie get to know each other!! again i highly recommend all of the author's other works as well, but this one has been living in my head rent free.

ask me my top 5 anything

#ask game #fic rec #steveddie #steveddie fic rec

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l8rhader · 11 months

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Here we go again. 14 days of Taylor Inspired fics.

Are you ... *ahem* Reddie for it?

Here’s the gist. Each day, a new fic with a different Taylor inspired theme.

Day 1: Pick a TS Recurring Theme (the number 13/]sad girl autumn/reclaiming your work/etc) Day 2: Blank Space (something that just feels Taylor to you) Day 3: Inspired by a track from TS Day 4: Inspired by a track from Fearless Day 5: Inspired by a track from Speak Now Day 6: Inspired by a track from Red Day 7: Inspired by a track from 1989 Day 8: Inspired by a track from Reputation Day 9: Inspired by a track from Lover Day 10: Inspired by a track from Folklore Day 11: Inspired by a track from Evermore Day 12: Inspired by a track from Midnights Day 13: Inspired by a TS Concert moment or OST track Day 14: Inspired by a TS moment (Interview, Documentary, etc)

(I’m not gonna stick too hard to a fic a day, but I’m gonna try to get these out quickly.)

#reddie #it 2017 #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stephen king's it #it 2019 #it 1990 #the loser's club #reddie for it

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iron-sides · 2 months

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its always amusing to me in fic when like, tim or dick (or to a lesser extent damian idk whats going on in his team-ups) go missing and only bats are looking for him. like girl if tim misses the weekly young justice get together batman is going to have 5 to 8 teens/children/adults (depending on if ray and traya come to these events and if reddy goes since trayas there. i think ray and traya are there i could take or leave red tornado not the point) knocking down his door demanding to know what hes done to their robin. and when they find out he's missing? they got together an ARMY to invade zandia when anita's dad was missing. an army. batmans going to have a meta on every street corner in three hours whether he wants them there or not like??? girl tim "unlike batman i have friends" drake is not only missed by the bats

idk the titans well enough to say anything specific about if dick went missing however i just dont buy that they wouldnt notice and i double dont buy that they wouldnt muscle their way into the search. like be serious.... donna troy? roy harper? wally west? garth whatever his last name is? kory anders? vic cyborg? gerfield logan? i dont know any other titans but do you think any of these people would mind their business. i dont know them so idk but like i kind of doubt it

#my thots #nothing takes me out of a fic like a search party for tim that doesnt even include the birds of prey #like ur telling me helena just doesnt care? r u dumb?#bc theres no world in which babs didnt tell her i just dont buy that like... :// idk man godbless #it takes all types to make a world #ficposting #to be clear i can absolutely enjoy fics that forget tim and dick have friends i spend way too much time reading fic my standards are on the #floor ill read just about anything whether i agree with characterization or not (within reason)#actually this post was inspired by a fic that im rereading rn i do enjoy it idk if op has ever. read comics im really not sure (if they hav #i think it was only batfam comics & no team-ups tho) but its still fun man i do enjoy this fic

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mylittlevsoldier · 8 months

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Introduction! (take 2)

hello! I noticed that I'm getting alot of new followers and the introduction i did was awful.

so here's a new one!

my name is Sage, but you can call me Sagey! I'm 15, my pronouns are she/they and i identify as a demigirl! (someone who was assing afab but dosen't fully i dont fully indentify w being a woman) I like talking about whatever comes to mind! Like the ship I like, Stranger things, writing, music, or any movies or tv shows i like.

heres a picrew of me!

I love to write! I have 3 fics im currently working on. All about Byler but i am working on a Reddie story but it is VERY bare bones at the moment. I'm also looking into doing an Elmax story!

MY FAV MOOTS

(i love all my mutuals but these are the ones i interact with the most!)

@elsbianism (i talk to them at least once day)

@theswiftiediaries13

@frogsdontcry

@onceintwentyylifetimes

@flormarchitada

@xxcreamixx

FAV CHARTERS!!!!

Will Byers (I'm so him. y'all don't understand)

Mike Wheeler

Richie Tozier

Beverly Marsh

Ron Weasly

Harry Potter

Hermoine Granger

Max Mayfield

Lucas Sinclair

Luna Lovegood

Remus Lupin

And SO many more

FAV SHIPS

Byler (Stranger Things)

Reddie (IT)

Elmax (Stranger Things)

Lumax (Stranger Things)

Ronance (Stranger Things)

Pansmione (Harry Potter)

Wolfstar (Marauders)

Boreo (The Goldfinch)

FAV ALBUMS!

(I love music more than life it's self.)

folklore by Taylor Swift

Pure Heroine by Lorde

Melodrama by Lorde

Born to die by Lana Del Ray

Harry's House by Harry Styles

Speak Now (Taylor's version) by Taylor Swift

Red (Taylor's version) by Taylor Swift

1989 (soon to be Taylor's Version)

anyway thank you for reading! that's enough rambling for now! bye! i love you!

#get to know me!#get to know sagey #intro

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arunneronthird · 1 year

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hello hello! I have a few random questions (because I like random questions, if you hate them ignore me)

favorite ship/coup?

do you have a favorite character that most people kinda over look?

what you reading?

are there any comic characters you're like "oooh I want to know more!"

also my personal oddity, I adore little 1980s Jason with the two little curls, you know? and so I always feel... like 6 foot 2 sheet of BEEF! Red Hood Jason is a weird cognitive dissonance also he's only like 18 or 19 but is always drawn 10 years older, I'd love a skinny short twink Jason as Red Hood, or if Jason came back but like a year younger than Tim that would have been funny

luckily for u and unluckily for most people i love talking so lets go!

favorite ship... its a hard question, i dont really ship things in dc, im really into the damijon dynamic but i dont necessarily shiiiip them like dami is so aro coded its painful and jon has to get his 7 lost years before he makes sense to me, ask me again after this superman comic, outside of dc though i like going back to read fics with promptis (ffxv) and reddie (it) nad some haikyuu pairs no one cares about

favorite overlooked character... i really like maya (from son of the bat), im a sucker for secondary characters! i like sho from mp100 and yamaguchi from haikyuu and jack in spn (whos jack u ask, exactly)

currently im in the middle of injustice year five! ive been making my way through injustice this past week to prepare for superman and im liking it way more than i thought i would

characters i wanna know more about! there sure are! if they dont give me more monkey prince i may stab someone! i mostly wanna know more things about characters i just havent gotten around to reading about so those dont count i think

ur so right about it like why do they draw him like hes 35, i dont mind his height though (but if u want twink jason titans is ur show i think) i like that he grew up to be big and tall but hes so young... hes just a guy, he would be in college, tiny jason makes my heart grow though so here, for u

#thanks for the asks! this was v fun to answer honestly i feel like i could expand on everything 68 times but uh in due time

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reddie-ao3feed · 7 days

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eloped and everything

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/pc6Tq4V by beefcakebeetle Who cares if the past couldn’t be remembered? They had the present. The present included date nights where Richie always tends to go a bit overboard with the romance, bouquets and reservations, even after all these years. Eddie’s packed lunches that Richie takes to work- triangle-cut sandwiches and extremely cheesy love notes that never fail to make him smile. Lazy Sunday mornings in bed, Fridays with cozy movie nights on their couch. They never got sick of one another, even sexually, still unable to keep their hands off each other for longer than a week. That’s all that mattered. What came before that didn’t. [ Prompt: Richie and Eddie have been married for years before Derry 2.0, not really realizing how they got together in the first place ] Words: 4246, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, The Losers Club (IT) Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Internalized Homophobia, Internal Conflict, The Forgetting (IT), Childhood Trauma, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/pc6Tq4V

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #it 2019 #fic rec #reddie fic red #stephen king it

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somethingaboutme-andmymadness · 1 year

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Tagged by @queen-crow

3 ships: Serirei (obsessed for a WHILE now), Lougosi (the furries got me gal), Reddie (an old one because I still love them so much).

First ever ship: Narusasu (it was what got me into reading fics and learning english - 'cause there wasn't enough content in spanish for me hahaha).

Last song: Ghost in the machine by SZA ft Phoebe Bridgers. Although the last album I listened to was Red Moon In Venus by Kali Uchis (really good one, even though I liked her previous ones a bit better).

Last movie: Shrek 4 (and also John Wick 2 and 3, all of them I binge watched today... I kinda have a problem, ok).

Currently reading: Breasts and eggs by Mieko Kawakami. Also Babel by R.F. Kuang (but I'm only on the second chapter, don't know if I like it yet).

Currently watching: mm, I think the last thing I watched was Cyberpunk Edgerunners (didn't love it... first episode was great but I expected more. I can only say the animation was impressive). I'm planning to start watching Swarm - because Childish Gambino, yes. Don't know what to expect, tho haha

Currently consuming: Veggie tea (tastes like carrot, delicious).

Currently craving: Chocolate... (I'm trying to quit sugar but it's harshhh).

Whoever wants to, can also do this! I wouldn't know who wants to be tagged but I'd love to read yours :)

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andallthatmishigas · 1 year

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Getting to know you meme

Tagged by the magnificent @callhimnowmarisamylove

Favourite time of year: definitely fall. I love when the days are still sunny but the mornings have a bite to the air. I love the anticipation and comfort as the leaves change and when I get to be spooky and cook for holidays.

Comfort foods: macaroni and cheese is my favorite food, and really almost any bread + cheese combo is a favorite of mine. I will eat mac and cheese when I’m sad and need cheering up, when I’m celebrating, when it’s a Tuesday. It’s the best food and always a comfort.

Do you collect anything: books? I’ve got a little collection of funko pops from some of my favorite characters/people. I certainly collect makeup like a crazy person. And books, especially used books. I have a snow globe collection that lives at my parents’ house and I have started getting magnets from every place I go as a a souvenir.

Favourite drinks: wine, whiskey sour, diet Dr. Pepper

Favourite music artists: I’m just gonna list a bunch that I love... Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand, Cher, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran,ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Trixie Mattel, Celine Dion, George Ezra, Ella Fitzgerald, Lady Gaga, Florence + the Machine, Lil Nas X, Miley Cyrus, Helen Reddy, Luciano Pavarotti, Elton John, Noah Cyrus, Blink-182, Reba McEntire, Sadie & the Hotheads

Current favourite songs: my all time favorite songs are Leaving on a Jetplane by Peter Paul & Mary and Daylight by Taylor Swift. Songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately are Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley, Anyone for You by George Ezra, Gold by Trixie Mattel, You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling by The Unrighteous Brothers (yes, I said that right, they’re a country duo cover band and I love them, and Edging by Blink-182

Favourite fics: mostly my own tbh. There’s a few by @rahleeyah that changed my life and a couple Downton fics from @whatsabriard that I think about at least once a week. But usually I write what I want to read and then I reread them as bedtime stories. I’m currently making my way though Metamorphosis again, which is the longest fic I’ve ever written and I’m quite proud of it.

Favourite video games: Mario Party, Tetris, Super Mario 64, Donkey Kong Country.

I tag anyone who would like to do this and specifically @doctoraliceharvey @aboxfullofdarkness @blossom--of--snow @comepraisetheinfanta @featherpluckn @yesmadamepresident @margotgrissom @holy-ships-x-red-lips @whatsabriard

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iheartgod175 · 2 years

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Hey, so remember that ages old Touché Turtle sketch I did a few months ago? Well, I brought Catalina back, and she's gotten quite a facelift since she first appeared. Still short, still sassy and still a force to be reckoned with in terms of swordsmanship (though naturally, she won't beat Touché Turtle himself).

A quick bio for her (italicized means subject to change)

Full Name: Catalina Gutierrez

Species: Cat (obviously, though what breed of cat I'm still working on)

Birthday: July 27th

Country of Origin: Spain

Height: 2'5"

Weight: 92 lbs.

Fur color: Cherry Red

A member of the famous Feline Paladins, a squadron of feline musketeers within the Heroes Society. If Touché Turtle is the D'Artagnan of the Heroes Society, then Catalina is the Athos: she is taciturn and strict, rather aloof and tends to take on missions by herself. Though coolheaded in most situations, she can have some impulsive moments and a hot temper that takes a minute to cool down. She's notorious for her brutal honesty, and won't hesitate to speak her mind, especially when she's angry. Despite this, she's protective of the members of her squadron, namely Emilia, who she cares for like a daughter, and Augustin, whom she recognizes as separate from the actions of his father, the Black Knight.

Catalina has a mysterious past that not even the upper ranks of the Society were able to uncover, though it ties to the Dugan clan and her hatred of of the Gold Paladin, which runs even deeper than Dum-Dum's. She has confronted him only once, which resulted in her bitter defeat. She learned that there was only one person who was able to defeat him, and that was the heir of the Dugan Keep. To that end, she decided to seek Touché Turtle's services...albeit in the most unorthodox manner by arresting Dum-Dum and holding him in prison until Touché arrived. She got chewed out for it later, but in her mind, the end justifies the means. It wasn't an easy partnership, especially in regards to Dum-Dum, but if they can make it out of this without killing each other, then mission accomplished. And maybe, just maybe, she'll discover what made Rutherford Dugan choose this sleepy sheepdog as the next Keeper of the Crown.

Trivia:

- Her profile here doesn't show it, but she's actually left-handed.

- Her costume was heavily inspired by the Three Musketeers set in Revue Starlight, specifically, Hikari Kagura's Athos card, though she also has elements of Karen's D'Artagnan costume as well. Her costume was almost more elaborate than this, but I remembered that I have to draw her again and again 😬

- Personality wise, I imagine her to be a distant relative of Ruff (of Ruff and Reddy fame). I might draw them together some time.

- I can also imagine her and Touché being at odds because of her attitude, though they'd slowly warm up to each other, especially after Cat warms up to Dum-Dum.

That's gonna be all for now, maybe until I decide to do a full on rewrite of the original For Love and Glory. She'll probably appear sometime in the third fic, where they encounter the Gold Paladin again. I'll be posting a (more or less) complete fic list for my Touché Turtle fics in that series on my writing blog, @taviewritesstuff.

Enjoy 🙂

#hanna-barbera #Touché Turtle #fan art #my ocs do not steal #my art #character profile

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teashadephoenix · 1 year

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❌ and❔for the ask game!

❌What WIP do you find the most challenging? Why?

I'm not sure any singular one of them is challenging, really. The one challenge I face, with all my WIPs, is their scope. They big. They long. They have many words. xD And I want, so much, to just slap the synopses up here and call it a day. But I also want to write them out as stories, and for the prose to be good, and engaging, and fun to read. I've never had a problem coming up with ideas or names or titles. For me the challenge has always been getting the ideas out of my head and into words. And that's true of every single WIP I've ever dreamt up.

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

xD "Choose a random one of your children and talk about them" okay well I love all my babies and at any given moment of the day I am thinking about one/all of them. I've got a big Reddie fix-it fic. I've got an absolutely massive Tenth Doctor x Donna one that I've been working on since 2008. I've got a Red Dead prequel. I've got a sandbox TLOU fic that is basically single dad Joel snapshots.

BUT-- the big big BIG one is my original work that I've been building for an embarrassing amount of time, about twin siblings Aalee and Elles Dering going out on their worldwalk-- a traditional coming of age journey through the countryside of their native homeland to see what theyre made of before joining the ranks of the Marshals, warriors who keep society safe in a world where monsters are real and sometimes the worst of them are human. It's a Western x Fantasy (i mean western as a genre, so: cowboys. outlaws. train jobs and cattle rustlers and lone strangers wandering into taverns. But there's also like big old magical beasts and hermit wizards and magical artifacts that cause curses and stuff. I've often thought of it as a Wild West themed JRPG.) That one is weirdly autobiographical, so it's very close to my heart.

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask game #answered #wips #teashadewips #aalee rise

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ddproductionsw77 · 2 years

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Shouldn’t Come Back

Fandom: IT (Muschietti Films)

Pairing(s): Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak)

Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, Maggie Tozier, (OCs) Cassie Tozier, Alex Tozier and Aaron Tozier

Rating: T (But trigger warning that past child abuse it discussed and language is used)

Description: Maggie Tozier calls her son after six years without a word. Richie finally gets some things off his chest that have been pent up for years. (Adult Fic)

Author’s Note: So, for a reference point, Cassie is four and the twins are five months old at the end of The Work Days Are Long Without You and it’s only two months after that one-shot, so Cassie is just barely five and the twins are seven months old. Title was inspired by Demi Lovato’s song by the same name.

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It was a completely normal Saturday when the call came in on the landline.

Cassie was still up but he and Eddie had laid both Aaron and Alex down about a half an hour ago. They were officially in the midst of sleep training the boys, which had been one of Richie’s least favorite periods of time when Cas was a baby and was turning out to be just as awful with the boys. Well… It was awful with Aaron, who’d always been much more clingy than his twin. Richie was pretty sure Alex could care less about the transition, but Aaron usually whined and whimpered for about a half hour every night.

The rule of thumb was, unless it got ridiculous, Cassie was allowed to stay up with him and Eddie until the boys were quiet.

That night Eddie was in his usual chair, looking over charts for the patients he would be working with the following day. Richie was laying across the floor on his side, probably fucking his back up, and playing building blocks with his daughter. The boys’ nursery had been quiet for the last few minutes but sometimes that still meant nothing.

“Papa, no!” Cassie giggled, reaching out to cover Richie’s large hand with her small, soft one. “That’s not sa-posted to be red!”

“Supposed, Cassie,” Eddie corrected, half-heartedly with the corners of his lips twitching into a soft smile.

Richie and Cassie both ignored the correction, the former looking gravely at the latter before speaking up in what he knew to be her favorite of his funny voices, “I apologize, Princess Cassidy, I do, I do!”

“Papa! Stop bein’ funny!” Cassidy broke into an angelic chorus of laughter, making Richie smile so wide it nearly hurt. “It’s gotta be purple there!”

Richie nodded, sitting up in order to find some purple blocks. Behind him, he heard the phone in the kitchen ringing and glanced back to see Eddie give him look that clearly said, Can you please get that before Aaron starts up again? Richie nodded and quickly jumped to his feet. As he did, Cassie also stood and threw her arms up, “I wanna go! I wanna go!”

Richie chuckled and easily lifted his daughter up and onto his hip, making his way to the kitchen. For the sole purpose of getting another giggle from his kid, he did a tight spin to the phone, making Cassie’s dark curls whirl around. She did giggle.

Greatest goddamn sound in the world, he thought to himself as he picked up the headset from the receiver on the counter. Well, one of them at least.

“Tozier residence, talk before I hang up,” He answered, half jokingly and half honestly. He didn’t much like long discussions on the phone unless it was with one of the Losers, maybe.

There was a pause on the other end and then a tentative, “Richard?”

Richie felt like a rug had been pulled out from under his feet, his stomach dropping like he’d just overestimated how many stairs he had to climb and now his foot was falling through air. Numbly, he set his daughter down, being gentle but ignoring her prodding questions all the same. He barely heard her, honestly, as if she were suddenly very far away instead right at his feet, pulling at his jeans.

Taking the phone and turning away from his child, he lowered his voice, “How did you get this number?”

A sigh, “Where do you think? The phone book, obviously. Richie—“

“I don’t have any money for you,” Richie cut the woman off before she could even start, “I’m not giving you a fucking dime.”

Somewhere far away, he heard Cassie gasp and take off for the living room, calling, “Swear! Daddy! Papa sweared!”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Richie waited for the response from the other end of the line.

“I’m— That’s not— I don’t need money, Richie,”

“Well, with you it’s always either money, booze, or pills, none of which you’re getting from me, Mother Dearest, so kindly fuck off and—“

“Richard, please! Please, don’t hang up!”

Something in his chest—he refused to admit it was his heart—forced him to keep the phone to his ear and not slam the phone down. Dammit… all the shit she’d done and he couldn’t even bring himself to fucking hang up on the bitch?

“Are you still there?” She asked, soundly anxious.

“Do you hear the dial tone, Maggie?” He retorted sharply.

“Oh, well, right,” She sighed and for some reason Richie pictured her at a payphone in his mind, standing and fiddling with her fingers, nervous and maybe even a little… scared? At least that was how she sounded. Odd, she was normally too high or drunk to be scared of anything, if his memory was serving him correctly. “It’s been a long time…”

“Six years, Mom. It’s been six years since you last called asking for a handout.”

“Right,” Maggie Tozier mumbled, “Right, well, I— I was just calling because… See, I’m, well, I’m clean, Richie.”

Richie rolled his eyes and stifled a snort, “How clean, huh?”

“A year, last week.”

The smirk feel from her son’s face at those words and he stood up taller, “Seriously?”

A small chuckle came through the phone, a sound Richie hadn’t heard since his childhood. He felt his mouth go dry and his eyes burn and angrily blinked as his mother spoke up, “Yeah, sweetie, seriously.”

“Don’t.” He snapped, his anger now a literal flame burning within his chest, “Don’t call me that. Actually, don’t call me anything, Maggie. What do you expect? You’re clean so now I’m supposed to just forget everything else? Well, that’s not how it works. You are still the woman you beat the shit out of me and threw beer bottles at me and hundred other awful things! Fuck that!”

“Richard! I— I just want to talk! I swear! I just… I miss you, okay? And I’m so—“ She broke off and Richie could hear a very real sounding sob echo through the line. When she continued, her voice was watery and tired, “I’m so sorry. I’m so damn sorry for everything and I just…”

She trailed off again, her sobs coming more quietly now, like she was working hard to compose herself. Richie didn’t answer, didn’t say anything. His mother hadn’t apologized to him since… Well, he couldn’t remember but it had to have been at least over seventeen years ago.

He felt a long dormant but familiar tug in his chest, the one that whispered to forgive her. To hush her crying and make her smile instead. Richie hadn’t felt that tug since the beginning, since way back when his mother had first started drinking and popping Valiums. When she was still not too far gone to be reached, when she would still have sober days were she was really his mom again.

“Can I just give you my number, swe—Richie?” She asked after several minutes, her voice now gravely and rough from her sobs, “I know I don’t deserve it but please just let me give you my number and, if you want, maybe you can call me? We could… meet? Talk?”

Say no, you don’t owe this bitch anything.

But she’s sober and she’s trying; she’s never done that before!

What if it’s just a long con? Think about Cassie, Aaron and Alex, it’s not just about you anymore!

Yes! Think of the kids! Don’t they deserve at least one good grandparent?

After a long, long silence, Richie spoke low into the phone, “Fine.”

He plucked a pen from the pocket of his jeans and used an old piece of mail to take down the number, sure he would never use it but that at least the gesture would get Maggie to leave him and his family be.

Once she finished reciting numbers, Richie didn’t bother reading them back. If the number was wrong, it was wrong. Instead, he sighed and said, “Got it.”

Then he hung up. No goodbye, nothing. She didn’t deserve it.

He felt his hands shaking as he recapped and pocketed the pen, focusing on a few deep breathes. Richie wasn’t sure if he was furious or scared or hopefully or all of the above. He didn’t know if he would call the number on the piece of mail, didn’t even know if he would tell Eddie about the call— No, he would tell his husband; that was part of the deal of marriage, after all.

“Richie?” As if he could read Richie’s mind, Eddie’s voice spoke up gently, tentatively from behind him.

Slowly, Richie turned around to find Eddie leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. Even after a full 12 hour shift at work and hours of wrestling with children, Eddie still looked good.

Then again, Richie could hardly recall a time when he didn’t think Eddie looked good. That pale skin that Richie knew from intimate experience was insanely soft, those cute slender hips, those plush lips now pulled into a slight frown, eyebrows drawn together in a way that would have been even cuter if they didn’t make him look so concerned. Perfect, every inch of him…

He just wished he wasn’t frowning. Richie hated making Eddie worry but throughout their relationship, he seemed to be incapable of avoiding that misfortune.

“Where’s Cassie?”

Eddie answered, despite knowing that Richie was trying to change the subject, “I put her to bed but she’s waiting for her bedtime lullaby still.”

Bedtime lullaby, right. Richie needed to focus on the really important things, like his daughter and the fact she couldn’t get to sleep without being sung to. Well, she could but she usually threw a fit about it. He needed to focus on his family, his real family, not the so-called thing he’d had with Maggie and Wentworth Tozier.

Eddie’s eyebrows drew closer together, “Richie—“

“I’m going to go put Cas to bed and I’ll be right back,” Richie cut him off, carefully slipping passed Eddie to get back to the living room where his acoustic guitar sat in its hardshell case by the front door. Taking out the guitar, he made his way upstairs and all the way down the hall, being especially quiet as he walked by the closed nursery door.

He paused in front of his daughter’s bedroom door, which was cracked open about three inches but closed enough that he could still take in the sky blue paint across it and the name written in Bill’s perfect calligraphy across the wood in a contrasting deep purple, ‘Cassidy’.

He was suddenly hit by the memory of another wooden door, a different door, his bedroom door. Instead of a name on the wood, the words FUCK OFF had been meticulous craved in deep. He remembered the smell of the blood that had poured from his nose after his father had seen his little woodworking project, feel the ache in his ribs and could remember his mother’s malicious sneer as he lay before her and his father, hurt and scared and only eleven-years-old—

Richie shook his head, forcing those memories away. They did him no good. They just made him angry and bitter and that was not what he needed to be to sing his child to sleep. Taking another deep breath, Richie softly swung the door open and slipped inside.

Cassie was in her ‘big girl’ bed, her Blue’s Clues footsie pajamas zipped up to her chin. Eddie had obviously quickly done her hair when he put her down because the long curls were now in two perfect pigtail ringlets a top her little head.

She grinned at the sight of him and for the first time since he’d answered the damn phone, Richie felt the weight on his chest lessen.

“Papa! Play my song?” She whispered, having been taught months ago to be mindful of her volume when her brothers were sleeping.

“Yeah, Papa’s gonna play your song, silly,” Richie answered, settling himself down on the edge of her bed as Cassidy laid back, waiting excitedly for him the start.

Richie set his guitar on his leg and began quietly, tenderly strumming out the beginning cords of Guns ’N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine”, or as his daughter called it, her song.

As Cassie’s smile widened at him, Richie carefully started singing lowly.

“She’s got a smile that it seems to me,

Reminds me of childhood memories…”

By the time he strummed the final chord, Cassie’s little eyelids were drooping closed as she fought to keep them open. Chuckling, Richie set aside the guitar and leaned forward, brushing a flyaway strand of hair from her face, “Get some sleep, Sweet Love of Mine.”

Smiling sleepily, Cassie finally let her tired eyes close, snuggling into the crocheted little elephant that Beverly had made her when she was still a baby. She sighed before whispering, quietly, “I love you, Papa.”

“Sleep sweetly, My Little Love.”

“I love you, Momma! Lots!”

A laugh, sweet and melodic, “I love you, too, my little boy.”

Richie blinked away the memories threatening to sweep over him and cleared his closing throat, leaning forward to press a kiss against Cassie’s forehead, “I love you, too, Cassie Anne.”

Getting up carefully, Richie grabbed his guitar and made his way from the room, leaving the door cracked after he turned out the light, double checking that Cassie’s butterfly nightlight remained on. Numbly, he made his way back downstairs, feeling Eddie’s eyes on him from the moment he came back into the living room to put his guitar away.

He fiddled mindlessly with the locking mechanism on the guitar case for a moment. Knowing Eddie’s attention was still on him, he spoke in an attempt to sound aloof, “It was Maggie."

He heard a quiet but sharp inhale of breath and squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, like he was physically cringing from just speaking her name aloud. Forcing himself to stand up straight, he turned to his husband, carefully schooling his expression into one of ease and carelessness and shrugging, “I guess she’s clean or some bullshit.”

“Richie…” Eddie said worriedly, making Richie’s gut twist painfully as he remembered the seemingly millions of times Eddie had used that tone throughout the teen years whenever he spied a split lip or a bruised ribcage or the scratch mark off a nail.

“It’s whatever, Eds,” Richie shrugged again, “She made me take her number but I ain’t gonna call. Fuck her.”

Eddie bit his lip from where he sat on the edge of the couch, “It’s not ‘whatever’, Richie. It’s fucked up and it’s bullshit.”

Richie felt his resolve wavering and nodded, “Well, yeah, I guess… I mean, what right does she think she has, calling here? I have a life, a family and she sure as fuck isn’t a part of it and that’s on her, not me, y’know?”

There was a pause before Eddie stood up and moved toward him, reaching up to cup Richie’s face in his hands, “It is on her, Richie. She was the adult. You don’t have to ever talk to her again…”

“But?” Richie’s facade seemed to dissolve under Eddie’s touch, always such a reassuring thing.

Once upon a time, Richie had association love only with touches of pain and misery but that had changed over the years, in great part because of Eddie. Eddie, who had caressed his bleeding hands after he punched walls or fell on broken glass. Eddie, who had tenderly run his thumb across Richie’s split lips and black eyes. Eddie, who really did love him, not the fake mockery of the feeling he’d known before.

Eddie sighed, brushing those same thumbs over Richie’s cheekbones as he frowned, “But… Maybe telling her that, confronting her? Maybe it could, I don’t know, help?”

“Maybe…” Richie cringed at how his own voice quivered and if it were anyone but Eddie, he would have forced his walls back up but it wasn’t anyone else. It was his husband before him, touching him, loving him.

Eddie slipped his hands back to behind Richie’s neck and pulled him down into a searing kiss. The kiss felt like a lifeline, like a raft being thrown out to someone who’d been treading water for far too long and was starting to sink, quickly. Richie gripped Eddie, kissing him back like he was trying to convey how grateful he was for him, how much he loved the life they shared. How relieved he was at every reassurance that, yes, Eddie still loved him, still wanted to be with him, even after all this time.

Maybe talking to Maggie would help… Maybe.

Didn’t mean the idea didn’t fucking terrify Richie.

_______________________________________________________________________

Richie sat in the small diner booth two weeks later, leg bouncing restlessly as it always did when he had too much nervous energy.

Why the fuck had he agreed to this? Actually, not just agreed to it, but proposed it, however reluctantly.

He felt like he might be sick and glanced at the door once more, imagining fleeing through it before he had to face the music. He didn’t really need to confront his past, he could just move on, bury it like he had for years, leaving it all behind where it fucking belonged.

Glowering, he moved his gaze to the table in front of him, an untouched black coffee cooling beside where his forearm was settled. He didn’t usually drink it black— that was Eddie’s thing— but his hands had been shaking too badly to get the stupid fucking little creamer cups open.

“Richard?”

Almost as if he were having an allergic reaction to the voice, Richie felt his limbs freeze and lock up. Only his neck seemed to have anymore range of motion as it turned without his permission to regard the woman standing before him.

She was standing in a pair of high waisted jeans with an oversized blue t-shirt tucked into them. A band t-shirt, Queen of all things, and that little detail made Richie’s stomach twist again.

Music, when he’d been little, had been one of the few things he and his mother had connected over. Maybe she had always wished for a daughter, but at least her son had good taste in music… She’d been the one to originally make him fall in love with the art.

Her hair was still straight and blonde as it had always been but she’d cut it to her shoulders, instead of growing it out as she had done before, and sprinkles of grey could be seen throughout. She wore none of the make-up that she used to and wrinkles that had once only been hinted at by her skin had now been solidified by time and wear. She regarded him in kind with those pale blue eyes that had once upon a time made him question if he was switched at birth in the hospital.

But no, unfortunately, he just took more after his father in his physical appearance.

Without a word, Maggie Tozier slipped into the booth across from her son, still looking him over. After a moment, her eyes took on the telltale sparkle of someone holding back tears, “You’re so handsome.”

Snapped back to reality by her words, a scowl settled onto Richie’s face as he turned to look at the window, shaking his head, “Don’t do that, Maggie. Don’t act like you’re just oh so fucking proud of who I’ve become.”

He saw her cringe from the corner of his eye but didn’t care. She sighed, “Richie, I am proud of who you’ve become.”

“No thanks to you.” Richie snapped, looking back at her.

Maggie deflated and nodded, “No thanks to me.”

Richie sighed and looked around, “How’s Dad?”

Maggie blinked, opening and closing her mouth before finally saying, “I… I don’t know. I—I left him about three years ago, I haven’t seen him since. I think he moved to Florida last I heard.”

Richie snorted, shaking his head at that, “You stuck by the guy for over a decade while he fucked every dental assistant he could get his hands on and turned your kid into a human punching bag, what was the straw that broke the camel’s back?”

His mother cringed as if she’d been physically slapped and some part of him, the little ten-year-old within maybe, wanted immediately to apologize, to take it back. He didn’t.

“I was just trying to get clean and he… I couldn’t be with him and be sober,” She answered after a long moment.

“No shit,” Richie muttered darkly.

Maggie took a deep breath, running a hand over her face before she spoke again, “Richard, I have no excuses. I have nothing to offer you that will make you feel better. I can’t— I can’t undo what drugs and alcohol did to me, to our family. I’m— I’m only human, sweetie.”

Richie glared at her, “Only human?”

“Yes, Richie, only human.”

He nodded, digesting that before raising his chin and pointing to a small thin white line along his jaw, “See that? That’s from one of the times you grabbed me and dug your nails in.” He showed the palm of the hand he’d used to point of the last scar and revealed a deeper scar, “That’s from a shard of a Budweiser bottle, I can’t remember the specifics anymore but I do remember you throwing it at me.” He pulled up the sleeve of his jacket on his other arm and rotated his wrist until a loud click sounded, “It’s clicked like that since Dad twisted it behind my back one of the times he shoved me against the wall, all while you watched.”

He dropped the sleeve and looked into the expression of complete shame on his mother’s face before he spoken again, “I don’t think you’re only human, Maggie. I think you’re a monster. Only a monster would do that to their own kid.”

“Richie—“ She broke in, tearfully.

“No, Mom, you got to let your opinion of me be known for years, it’s my fucking turn,” Richie snapped and Maggie closed her mouth, silently letting him continue, “I used to think it was me, you know? That something was wrong with me because kids at school didn’t get beat, they didn’t have to learn how to wrap broken ribs when they were twelve or how to make breakfast as quietly as possible so that they wouldn’t wake anyone and risk getting hit some more. No, that was just me. So, I figured I was the problem, your problem. I was the reason you drank, the reason you popped the pills, the reason your life was so fucking awful.”

Maggie was crying in earnest now but it didn’t stop Richie from going on. He needed to get it out, it felt like purging an infection that had been settling in his bones for more than half his life.

“You know when I realized for the first time that it really hadn’t been my fault?” He asked, eyebrows raised. Maggie sniffled and shrugged. Richie answered himself without missing a beat, “When my daughter was born. The first time I ever held her to be exact. I remember thinking she was just so fucking perfect and that she could literally murder a village of people and I would still love her. That was when I knew that you had always been the problem, Maggie. Your love is and always has been conditional. I had to make myself worthy to earn it… Here’s the thing my kids made me realize, though: The love of a parent should never have to be earned.”

Maggie swallowed hard, looking down at the table as Richie continued one last time, “So, you’re right. There are no excuses, you have nothing to offer me anymore. I have a family now, one you don’t get to be a part of because of your own actions, and I’m—“ Richie felt his eyes start to burn and he cleared his throat to finish, “I’m honestly happy for you, Mom, that you’re clean and sober and working on yourself. But really? In a way, that just hurts more because it means you could have done it before now, could have done it a long time ago but I wasn’t enough to do it for. So… I hope you can keep it going, I want that for you but… I can’t be a part of it. Eddie, Cassie, Alex, Aaron, they aren’t going to be a part of it.”

Taking out his wallet, he threw some bills on the counter for the coffee and a tip and slowly stood from the booth as his mother continued to sob on the other side of the table. He paused and bit his lip, “This is the last time we’ll talk, okay? I have to do what’s right for my daughter, for my sons and you aren’t that. Good luck, Maggie.”

With that Richie walked to the exit and slipped out into the sunlight of the morning, feeling lighter than he could ever remember being. It was easier to breathe, like his lung capacity had suddenly doubled, the junk and baggage he’d been burying there since he was 10-years-old finally dug up.

Walking to his car, he smiled to himself as he glanced at his watch and saw that it was just about time to pick Cassie up from pre-k. He would call Eddie and tell him that he could do it and then he would go home and spend the rest of the day with his husband, his little girl and his boys.

It sounded perfect.

#the losers of ‘89 were here #the losers club #losers club #it (2017)#it: chapter two #reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #fanfic

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