#really long post... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mistbow · 1 year

Text

Death as a Salvation in Zestiria

Good night, Heldalf. Your life of eternal solitude is at last over.

Zestiria, despite its medieval fantasy and Arthurian legend outward appearance, actually doesn’t hold back in its Japanese inspirations (among a lot of things, the devs have at least admitted that Sorey and Mikleo are inspired by the Japanese historical figure, Sakamoto Ryouma, and that seraphim are based on kami.)

Often overlooked, though, are its very obvious Buddhist inspirations, especially Japanese Buddhism, despite it supposedly being as apparent as the other inspirations. Perhaps viewing it through Buddhist lens would help some to understand arguably the most controversial message in Zestiria, that is, “death can be salvation.”

I will start off with a disclaimer: Even if I just say Japanese Buddhism, there are actually many schools for Buddhism even in Japan alone, so I will try to just keep things to the general stuff that is applicable in majority of the schools, or if I have to point out something specific, then I will specify which school it is from.

One thing for sure though, in whatever form it is, Japanese Buddhism has had a major influence on Japanese society and culture and remains an influential aspect to this day.

There’s a common saying that a Japanese is “born Shinto, but dies Buddhist.” In Shinto, an animistic religion, everything has a kami inside it, living or non-living. This kami that everyone has will be released at the time at death and move on. Those who pass away are highly respected, and it’s not appropriate to mourn deceased family members intensely. Death is just a reminder to push towards living more fully, meaning that it focuses more on life and is less associated with death. Buddhism, on the other hand, came to be known as the religion of funerals in Japan, and as such, it has also come to be associated with death.

This duality of a Japanese spiritual life can also be seen in Zestiria themes and messages: On one hand, you have the game celebrating how beautiful, how sacred this world, this life is. On the other hand, it also says that death can also be a release. The same duality is reflected in Sorey, the mere human with dreams to explore all the ruins, and Sorey, the Shepherd with his duty. How can he realize both of these at the same time?

By the way, Zestiria is not short on its Japanese Buddhist inspirations: you can see sokushinbutsu (即身仏) in the Trial Shrines, the Five Lords are called Godaishin (五大神), the Crucibles are named after Naraka, heck, even the original Japanese term for Shepherd, Doushi (導師), is a specific Japanese Buddhist term. Which we will get there, I promise.

But first up, I want to talk about the elements in Zestiria, our first relevant Buddhist inspiration here.

The five-element system in Zestiria is actually modeled after the same five-element system in Japanese Buddhism, known as Godai (五大), meaning the Five Great [Elements], that even the Five Lords are called Godaishin (五大神) meaning Five Great Lords in Japanese. Godai, in turn, is related to Mahābhūta, which is basically the same concept in Indian Buddhism.

This system explains that all physical aspects of existence originate from a common source and can be classified in one of the Godai manifestations of physical matter. Chi (地), or the Earth, symbolizes solid matter. Sui (水), the Water, symbolizes liquids. Ka (火), the Fire, is the symbol of combustion, or the elements in an energy-releasing state. Fuu (風), the Wind, symbolizes gases. Kuu (空), the Void, is representative of the formless subatomic energy that is the basis for the structure of all things. This Godai symbolism is also used to describe the emotional nature of human beings.

(By the way, Light and Darkness are also included in Void in this system. It is everything yet nothing at the same time.)

You can see these elements in gorintou (五輪塔), stupa used for memorial purposes.

Sometimes you can even see the Lotus Sūtra (妙法蓮華経) carved on it too.

The shapes these elements are represented by symbolize the order in which someone progresses in their spiritual journey:

The square of Earth is the basis, the will to attain perfection.

The circle of Water is the attainment of equanimity.

The triangle of Fire represents the energy created in pursuit of the truth.

The crescent of Wind represents the development of intuition and awareness.

The lotus of Void represents perfection.

However, just for one element, there are more meanings than what have been said so far, at least in Buddhism. That is, Fire, the element of the Silver Flame, as the power of the Shepherd.

For all the Shinto inspirations, it’s funny how they went with Fire instead of Water, the main element usually used for purification in Shinto (it’s not that it doesn’t use Fire either, just that the main purification ritual, misogi, uses water).

So first, I want to talk about how Shinto sees Fire. Fire seems to be viewed as the most powerful element, able to both bring something of the sacred into this world and to open the gates to the other. Izanami-no-Mikoto, the mother-kami who created the Japanese Archipelago and most of the Japanese kami, died giving birth to the Fire kami, an episode that is relevant from two perspectives: first, Izanami’s death represents in itself a myth of origin, as death did not, could not exist until it happened for the first time; second, it is fire that facilitates the transition from one level of existence to another. Izanami died, but that does not mean that she disappeared; on the contrary, she continues to exist in the world of shadows, changing her role as creator for that of destroyer, of death-bringer.

Fire is still used in Japanese rituals to establish connection between the known world, inhabited by living humans, and the world of kami and things passed. In the beginning of every year, shrines all over Japan make huge bonfires named dondoyaki (どんど焼き), where used New Year decorations and amulets are burned. At Buddhist temples, similar fires are lit for the burning of prayer tablets and amulets that had been used during the previous year. In both cases, the objects to be cremated are not viewed as no longer useful, but rather as something that has fulfilled its role on this existential level and must now ritually pass into the other, Fire being the potent element which opens the pathway.

A lot of connections to death here. But more than anything, there is a bigger symbolism for Fire in Buddhism, that is, in Ādittapariyāya Sutta, more popularly known as the Fire Sermon in English.

Sabbaṃ bhikkhave ādittaṃ

Bhikkhus, all is burning.

“All” (sabba) here refers to six internal senses (eye, ear, nose, tongue, body and mind), six external senses (visible forms, sound, smells, tastes, touches and mental objects), consciousness (viññāṇa) contingent on these senses, the contact (samphassa) of a specific sense organ (such as the ear), its sense object (sound) and sense-specific consciousness, and finally, what is subsequently felt (vedayita): pleasure (sukha), pain (dukkha), or neither (adukkhamasukhaṃ).

And by “burning” (āditta) is meant the fire of greed (rāgagginā), the fire of aversion (dosagginā), the fire of delusion (mohagginā), as well as the manifestations of suffering: birth, aging and death, sorrows, lamentations, pains, distresses and despairs.

Nibbindaṃ virajjati virāgā vimuccati, vimuttasmiṃ vimuttamiti ñāṇaṃ hoti, khīṇā jāti, vusitaṃ brahmacariyaṃ, kataṃ karaṇīyaṃ nāparaṃ itthattāyāti pajānātī ti.

Disenchanted, he becomes dispassionate. Through dispassion, he is fully released. With full release, there is the knowledge, “Fully released.” He discerns that “Birth is ended, the holy life fulfilled, the task done. There is nothing further for this world.”

This will be relevant later on, but we’ll save this for now. Just remember the three fires and suffering, “burning.”

For now, I want you to focus on the word “Shepherd”, or “Doushi” (“導師”) in Japanese. Surprisingly to me, no one has really overthought this word before, despite it being the main focus of the narrative itself. Sorey, the protagonist, is the Shepherd. And sure, I’ve said that “Shepherd” is a fine enough translation for the term, but fine enough doesn’t mean it’s the best it could’ve been, though this is a tricky one to translate because no matter what they could’ve gone with, it would’ve still been lost in translation.

See, “導師” on surface level means a guru/master (師) who guides (導), that meaning is still retained in “Shepherd”, thankfully enough. However, in Japanese Buddhism, this term has a very specific meaning, and no, it’s not just “monk.”

It’s specifically a monk who facilitates funerals.

Originally, Doushi is just a monk who gives Buddhist sermons, who guides people to the path of Buddha, however, it has specifically come to mean a monk who gives indou (引導), which, to put simply, is a requiem of the dead, meant to lead/guide the dead to Nirvana, enlightenment; by having the Doushi recite the Dharma (“cosmic law and order”, Buddha’s teaching) to them. Aside from that, they’re also in charge of makuragyou (枕経), literally pillow sutra, which is the sutra recitation at the bedside of a deceased person.

So with this, I want to remind you that Sorey has a title, Vigil-Keeper (看取りし人), that basically means someone who attends to death. Someone who watches over someone else on their deathbed. And I’ve talked about that too here.

Back to Fire, the element, there’s an interesting expression in Japanese that basically is a euphemism for dying, which is “命の火が消える”, literally meaning “the fire of life is extinguished.” In the novel, among the many deaths, this expression is only used twice to describe death.

The first time, it’s Mikleo’s death as a human.

だが、生まれたばかりで柔らかかった皮膚はいま、熱と炎でただれ、命の火を消えそうとしている。

But the newborn’s tender skin was now inflamed with heat and flames, and his fire of life was about to be extinguished.

The second time, it’s Heldalf’s, as killed [saved] by Sorey.

And we know Mikleo immediately got reborn as a seraph afterwards, a being described as the purest, the noblest being ever. Seraphim are also beings that don't experience external change, unlike humans (人間は天族と違い、時間・経験と共にその在り方を変えていく), meanwhile life is full of changes according to Buddhism.

「おやすみ、ヘルダルフ……永遠の孤独はいま、終わった」

「………気に入らん……な……最後まで抗おうと……いう……のか……」

ヘルダルフの口がさらに何かを紡ごうとしていたが、もはや言葉にならず、彼は命の火を消した。

“Good night, Heldalf. Your life of eternal solitude is at last over.”

“You dare fight back even until... until the very end. I can't... I can't stand it.”

Heldalf’s mouth was trying to spin something more, but words could no longer come out, and his fire of life extinguished.

I want to note here that “命の火を消した” is more “extinguished his fire of life” but I didn’t want to make it sound like Heldalf, himself, did it, since Sorey was the one who did it. Wording, deliberate, Zestiria is all about reading between the lines after all.

But why? You might ask.

Remember how I said the Buddhist Doushi’s job is to lead the dead to the Nirvana? Nirvana (涅槃), the Buddhist salvation, as a word often gets translated as “enlightenment”, as “liberation” from suffering, but at the base level, it has another meaning. Or two, even.

One, “extinguishing of a flame.” Two, “death.”

Nirvana is the extinction of the “three fires”, namely of greed (raga), aversion or hate (dvesha) and of delusion or ignorance (moha or avidyā), the same three fires as before. This signifies the permanent cessation of saṃsāra (meaning “wandering” but basically is the “karmic cyclicality of all life, matter, existence”) and rebirth. Attainment of salvation or Nirvana is main goal of Buddhism.

SOREY: No one involved was fully in the wrong, but no one was really right either. That’s how it felt to me.

SOREY: My answer... is I want to save Heldalf. SOREY: The Shepherd’s job doesn't just boil down to “quell the Lord of Calamity,” or even “clean up the previous Shepherd’s mistakes.” SOREY: When malevolence consumes seraphim and turns them into hellions, we save them... SOREY: ...Yet when it brings misfortune and grief to humans, we say they only have themselves to blame. SOREY: It doesn’t seem fair.

MIKLEO: There are humans out there just like Heldalf. MIKLEO: He just happened to play one part in a cascade of terrible events. ROSE: I’m not gonna say you shouldn’t sympathize with him. ROSE: But I will say it would strike me as bizarre to completely let him off the hook for the horrors he brought to such a peaceful village... ROSE: And what he’s trying to do now is still messed up... Right? SOREY: Absolutely. It’s wrong, period, and I will stop it.

SOREY: If I won’t save humans like Heldalf who’ve had hellionhood thrust upon them, I’ll never see humans and seraphim live in peace!

In Shingon Buddhism, Fudou Myouou (不動明王), of the Vidyārāja, is assigned as the Doushi to the first seven days of service when mourning, as he tops the list of Thirteen Buddhas. Fudou Myouou is the manifestation of Dainichi Nyorai (大日如来) in disguise, always close at hand to protect us. He resides within the hearts of those who believe in him, protecting them and providing them with blessings.

If he were an animal, he would be a dragon; if he were an object, a double-edged sword; and if he were a color, gold or blue-black.

Fudou Myouou holds a sword in his right hand, the sword with the dragon king Kurikara (倶利伽羅), which represents righteous Buddhist wisdom to cut off evil thoughts and doubts. The rope in his left hand is meant to bind bad minds and awaken good minds. The flame on the back is called Karura-En (迦楼羅炎); Karura or Garuda is the name of a legendary bird that eats poisonous animals. The flame in the form of this bird represents the consuming of poisonous things. The rock beneath his feet is called Banjaku (盤石), a large, hard rock. It represents a stable mind without hesitation. The sutra says “sitting on a vajra stone” (“金剛石に座し”) which means sitting on a huge diamond.

More than anything else, though, Fudou Myouou takes on a wrathful form in order to save by force even the most irredeemable sentient beings who are afflicted with kleshas.

(There’s also an idea of akunin-shouki [悪人正機] in Joudo Buddhism:)

善人なおもって往生を遂ぐ、いわんや悪人をや。

Even good people can be saved, so let alone the evil people.

(Wind back the clock to the 12th century in Japan, which was an age of devastating social unrest. The vast majority of people—poor peasants, socially disadvantaged and discriminated—were losing homes and loved ones due to never-ending civil wars and starvation, feeling abandoned and helpless. But Buddhism wasn’t available to heal them because, at that time, it was only a religion for the social elites and intellectuals. For those who are good people already. This conundrum caused anguish for some monks: Why couldn’t Buddhist society do anything to help people who were in dire need of Buddha’s mercy [who needed it the most]? It’s against our core creed, which is “each and every one is saved.”)

(Eventually, a few monks decided to give up their status in the mainstream of Buddhism for good, and founded new schools in order to help the suffering people. Among them were Hounen and his disciple Shinran. They advocated akunin-shouki, and addressed it directly to desperate people: “I know you have been belittled, bullied, and given no opportunities nor any access to things that could help improve your lives. Not only have you never learned how to pray, but you might have had to do bad things in order to survive. I feel your pain and sorrow, but I want you to know that you are already forgiven, embraced and celebrated by Buddha’s mercy, exactly because of your helplessness and ignorance. Embrace your insignificant self. All you have to do is to chant the prayer, and you are saved. Buddha is always with you.”)

(These are the “bad people [those who do not know how or did not want to become a better, good person to achieve religious goals] are saved” as part of akunin-shouki. It was enthusiastically welcomed by the “bad” people—the illiterate, ignorant, poor and disadvantaged—who were never recognized nor approved of by society, let alone embraced and celebrated. They were overjoyed to discover that all they had to do was to chant nenbutsu “I take refuge in Buddha”–which could be done even if you couldn’t read–and they were saved. Buddhism finally became a people’s religion.)

Because in Buddhism, there are no sins, as there is no judging god out there that would punish you for your sins.

What there is though, is karma, the “law of cause and effect.” But karma is not punishment, not reward. Think of karma as a natural law, like gravity. You don’t need anyone to administer the law of gravity. Any time you are not careful you may fall and hurt yourself and experience suffering, but it is not a punishment for your lack of attention. You can also use gravity to generate hydroelectric power at a dam.

The same way that gravity doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administer by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in other, karma doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administer by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in other.

Karma tells you that there are some acts that produce suffering for you or others and, that there are acts that produce happiness for you and others.

If you avoid the former and stick to the later, you will be happier.

...

With all of this said and done, I would like to end it by saying that not everything has to be taken at surface level, taken so literally. Shepherd, hellion, death, salvation... everything here is just a symbol. It’s a fictional work, it can afford to do things like this, through symbols, images, patterns, ideas, metaphors that we recognize. Because they keep coming up, and they're entrenched in our subconscious through that repetition. I want people to step back and look at this at the bigger picture, and try to glean what the message really is, instead of being caught up in the unnecessary details.

I hope this has been insightful.

#tales of #tales of zestiria #mino rambles #really long post...#mino talks zesty

57 notes · View notes

mangozic · 19 days

Text

my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity

20K notes · View notes

emberglowfox · 7 months

Text

Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)

*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.

This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.

#sparks art #comic #angel #robot #my art #my comics #keeper: the angel #keeper: the lighthouse keeper #my ocs #hoogh. this was a grind yall lmao. but i am pleased with it #i hope you enjoy :pray: also keep your fingers crossed for me that this wins the contest #like it. it wont. because i am up against actual SEQA kids that know what theyre doing. and i dont actually mind really #but it would be funny #long post #very long post #sorry #i hope the readmore works

31K notes · View notes

lylahammar · 3 months

Text

Randomly thinkin about Chilchuck today, and how he tries sooooo hard to self sabotage

like for example, other half foots on the island think that he's a greedy asshole who only cares about money, and he does nothing to try to disprove that

but then there's this omake at the end of book 9 that shows that people treat half foots fucking TERRIBLY and chilchuck started a union to protect them

and then in the bicorn chapter, he doesn't want Marcille to keep digging into his personal business so he tells her he CHEATED ON HIS WIFE

but he just COMPLETELY fuckin lied about that and made himself sound so much worse than he is bc he's afraid of being vulnerable with people and would rather everyone believes he's a shitty person so he can keep them at a distance

and the thing that's memed so often is that he refuses to help with fighting most of the time because it's not part of his contract

but if you take this lore into account (not gonna add those particular images to this post simply bc I've used them in so many posts already LMAO) along with this tidbit from the world guide:

then it's like. yeah he has to keep his weight low so if he gets killed or severely injured and has to be healed, that could be really dangerous for him. and even if he was healed at that point he'd end up being a burden to the party after that point, he would be too dangerously thin/sickly to be able to help.

Like, Chilchuck has so many things about him that APPEAR to be character flaws, but every single one of them has a very reasonable explanation. He just leans into the mischaracterization bc he's emotionally withholding and can handle people thinking he's an asshole more than he can handle opening up to anyone. he's such a well thought out and interesting character

#someone commented about his weight management on my fatness lore post and it got me spinning chil around in my brain #had to do a lil infodumpy post about it eheh #it's fun to make fun of chilchuck but he's really secretly a very kind and selfless guy when it comes down to it #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon spoilers #chilchuck tims #long post #lyla's talking again

14K notes · View notes

blitzy-blitzwing · 4 months

Text

That loving stare. 🥺❤️

#hehehehe #my artwork #first comic of the year!!!!#whoooo!!!!#huskerdust #implied at least #Husk #Alastor #Angel Dust #Hazbin Hotel #comic #long post #ish #not really

17K notes · View notes

bamsara · 5 months

Text

A comic I started making a few months ago when I first started drafting out The Rehabilitation of Death fic universe/AU.

This is when I was still trying to figure out how I wanted to draw the characters (and I still dont know lmao) so it looks like how I used to draw them closer to the in-game style/animal crossing-ish. I'm not sure if I'll keep this dialogue since this comic is so old, but since the scene is coming up I thought I might as well post it

Anyway....something something emotions controlling powers

Also, bonus doots

#narilamb #trod au #the rehabilitation of death #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl the one who waits #cotl lamb #comic #doodles #i almost didnt post this because i dont really care for how i use to draw them but alas #long post

8K notes · View notes

pineapple-frenzy · 1 month

Text

Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #book 2 au #my art #i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go #it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls #she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire #she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko #and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj #even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers #zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her #little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd #n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her #i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful #and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald #in conclusion they are idiots your honor

5K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 7 months

Text

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

10K notes · View notes

buttersteps · 10 months

Text

#they really gave him huge sparkling uke eyes and shoujo sparkles. and i'm okay with that. i'm good. i'm *BITES HIM*#long post #nimona #nimona movie #nimonaedit #ballister blackheart #riz ahmed

18K notes · View notes

andthebeanstalk · 1 year

Text

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.