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cryobabyy · 3 months

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Syd's pink pants and notes on color theory

So I got a comment on my fic (chapter 3) about my use of the color pink. For context: The scene in the fic features Carmy having a distracted internal monologue while in a therapy session in which he thinks about his plans to meet up with Syd after. He mentions the pink cargo pants she wore in s2e2. Later on in the fic, he mentions pink again while on the brink of a panic attack.

Anyway, I got a comment today mentioning the use of pink as a symbol for something, which reminded me of why I used it as a literary device in the first place.

I remember watching s2e2, seeing Syd's pink cargos, and being OBSESSED with the juxtaposition. Carmy is such a heavy character. He's usually wearing dark, muted, or plain colors to reflect that. It's a very utilitarian, no fun, no-nonsense kind of look.

Carmy's apartment is equally as bleak. No color, no decorations, almost no personality. It's clearly just the place he sleeps at. And one can imagine that Carmy's apartment isn't a place of refuge for him either. Like, imagine dealing with the aftermath of your estranged brother's suicide, it's a shit show, you come home to an empty apartment, and you wake up and do it again. There's no warmth or homeyness. Syd notices the first time she comes over too.

So the fact that Syd came into his personal space wearing such a quintessentially soft, gentle, and comforting color felt like an intentional choice by the costume department. Like there is nothing more airy and playful than a pink pant!! Plus a fun patterned tote, and a blue bag!! She brings such a brightness to the scene, and (by extension) Carmy's world. She breathes life into an otherwise lifeless space. It's also the first time we see Carmy truly relaxed in his own space, and it's because of the energy and aliveness Syd adds to it.

Anyway, I wanted to portray Carmy as subconsciously associating those adjectives with Syd. Like even as he's on the brink of a panic attack, Syd cuts through the heaviness with her pink pants. Her pinkness grounds him!!!

#psychotic rambling #pls do not show this to my therapist #i will be admitted to a psychiatric institution #sydcarmy #carmy x sydney #chefs kiss #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #SYDENY ADAMU IS A LOVER GIRL #SHE IS OBJECTIVELY A SWEETHEART!!!#ARGUE WITH THE WALL IDC #PINK PANTS FOR THE CUTEST CHEF IN CHICAGO!!!

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vampchosis · 5 months

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talking to other psychotic ppl is genuinely a breath of fresh air,,

i talked to someone for a bit about my creature hallucinations, and they told me they experience similar ones,, they said they leave out little treats for them, and i talked abt how sometimes i let them pick things out when im shopping,, it was so nice to be treated with respect even while talking abt smth that would get me judged anywhere else

#carmi rambles #actually psychotic #psychosis #schizospec #schizophrenia #hallucinations #bipolar disorder #actually mentally ill

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revui · 5 months

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I'm still mad about the bastardization of psychological terms, and I saw a post earlier that inspired me to expand upon it. Here's a quick guide on what certain psychological terms do and do not mean, from someone with an education in psychology, not that you need one to know and understand this. I am open to additions and corrections.

Important note for if this post gets noticed: I am making blanket statements. I do not care if your abuser was "actually a diagnosed narcissist." That is irrelevant and meaningless to the purpose of this post, which is to help prevent the spread of misunderstandings, negative stigma, and the watering-down of important terms.

Psychotic refers to a person who has delusions or hallucinations, or otherwise is in a state of mind where they cannot determine reality. Psychotic does NOT mean: dangerous, emotionless, unkind, nonsensical. Someone who is mean or callous is not psychotic. A person you find strange is not psychotic.

Delusions are beliefs that either have no evidence of being true or actively contradict reality. A delusion can be believing you are under constant surveillance, that you have died, that you never existed at all, that you are a powerful or religious figure, etc. Delusional does not mean: wrong, strange, unintelligent. Someone who likes something you think is bad is not delusional. A person who holds a belief you don't understand is not delusional.

Unprofessional Aside: Stop saying "delulu." It's embarrassing.

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder generally characterized by repeated episodes of psychosis. Schizophrenia is more complicated than I can responsibly describe in the space of this post. People are schizophrenic. Objects and concepts cannot be schizophrenic. Disorganized, chaotic, and hard to understand are not the same as schizophrenic. People with schizophrenia are not: dangerous, inhuman, completely incoherent, unable to function*.

Narcissism is a personality disorder generally characterized by an exaggerated sense of uniqueness and a need for external validation or admiration. Narcissists may have little or no empathy. There is no such thing as narcissistic abuse. Abuse performed by a diagnosed narcissist is still normal abuse**. Someone who is mean, selfish, or unaware is not a narcissist. Someone who wants attention is not a narcissist. Someone who takes pride in their achievements or appearance is not a narcissist.

Empathy is the ability to feel other people's emotions. Empathy is not the same thing as kindness, nor is it a prerequisite for kindness. People with diminished empathy are not: callous, emotionless, selfish. Diminished empathy is not a flaw. It does not make someone incapable of understanding people or forming relationships.

ASPD is a personality disorder generally characterized by diminished empathy and disregard for others. People with ASPD may display reckless behavior or aggression. This does not mean they are: dangerous, irredeemable, uniquely awful, deserving death.

Psychopathy and sociopathy are contested terms. They are sometimes used to mean ASPD, but they are not diagnoses. Definitions vary wildly. Sometimes they are used as synonyms of each other, sometimes they are distinguished. I do not know if there is a consensus on what these words mean and would appreciate further input.

Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant, uncontrollable thoughts that can revolve around violence, murder, self-harm, suicide, sex, bigotry, and any other subjects the thinker finds taboo or unwelcome. An intrusive thought is something you don't WANT to do or don't WANT to think about. Getting angry and wanting to express your anger by punching the wall is not an intrusive thought. Wanting to dye your hair a weird color is not an intrusive thought. The key factor of an intrusive thought is that one has no desire to think or act upon it. An intrusive thought can sometimes develop into an obsession.

OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder is characterized by obsessions (persistent, unpleasant thoughts, such as getting sick, loved ones dying, making sexual advances on someone, etc.) and compulsions (routines usually meant to cope with or "prevent" the subject of the obsession, such as skin-picking, repeating actions, hand washing, etc.). People with OCD may be aware of the irrationality but awareness does not automatically lead to prevention; telling someone with OCD that they are irrational is not helpful. A desire for completeness, satisfaction, organization, or cleanliness is not the same thing as OCD.

If you are not an educated psychologist or psychiatrist acting in a clinical setting from an objective perspective, you cannot diagnose anyone. If you have any interest at all in helping mentally ill people, you will learn what words mean and use them correctly. I'm tired and angry so if I've made mistakes I am BEGGING people to let me know.

*As I said at the beginning, these are all blanket statements. This statement is referencing the idea of the "padded cell," or that all schizophrenics are fundamentally incapable of having a place in society and must be locked away. There do exist schizophrenics who need high levels of support, and that is not what I was referring to. They and all other people who depend on external support for any reason are not lazy or worthless.

**People argue that symptoms of NPD influence the way in which an abuser hurts people. That does not mean narcissistic abuse exists. The disorder doesn't matter; the person would still be abusive without it.

#levi rambles #actually psychotic #psychosis #schizophrenia #npd #aspd #ocd #long post

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rebisobsessedwithyou · 2 months

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Taunting my pretty captive i stalked for months. “You want me to stop? Let you go? But we’re having so much fun, babydoll. Is that what you really want? Fine, i’ll let you go…after you tell me you love me. That i’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you, that you NEED me.”

“You need me? i can’t let you go now, baby. What kind of man would i be to abandon you when you need me most? i’ll keep you safe here where nobody can hurt you. i promise… you’re mine. all mine …say it again. C'mon, sweetheart. Do it for me. Tell me you love me.”

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craycraybluejay · 9 months

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Literally, people who joke with me about how psychotic and crazy I am are a million times better allies than some asshole who wants to debate the validity of psychotic disorders with me, an individual who has one. And people who are so scared to think about someone they know having a psychotic disorder, not because they're worried for them but because they can't see us as just people. They will dance around the issue with "oh youre just weird thats okay!" "Im sure everyone can see things if theyre really stressed" "maybe youre just depressed?" Underhanded 'compliments' about how normal they're Sure you are and how theres no way youre like "that weird guy i saw rambling to himself a few months ago in the park" or "my friend nancy who thinks she's an alien." Because they can't dare to see you as a person if you're Like Them.

You can say PSYCHOTIC. You can say SCHIZO. They're not dirty words. I love my schizotypy. It's a part of me, and it is dare I say quite a part of the reason I have the talent and drive that I do in certain fields of study and arts. Maybe other people on the schizo spectrum don't like it, and that's their choice and feelings, their experience. But one thing's for sure, accepting and destigmatizing schizo spectrum disorders is important in the madpunk movement. I don't need double-edged "praise" of how I'm "not like them." And what if I am? What if I'm stark-raving mad, speaking in tongues and trying to fight demons and falling in love with things that don't exist to anybody else? What if green-yellow butterflies fly around my field of vision while I look at you, while we talk? What if I hear the voices of people I really don't like while you and I have a pizza at my place? What if the world tilts and shifts, and suddenly I'm not sure where I am and everything feels possible and god is talking to me and the shadow government is watching me? What then? Am I no longer a person? Is my reality less important than yours? Do I deserve to be unpersoned for seeing the world differently, whether that be due to a mental disorder or simply because I don't agree with the status quo?

We all deserve to be treated equally and fairly. Some differences we are born with, others we attain later in life unrelated to genetics or anything like that, some are simply quirks. No one should be forced to identify under labels they don't agree with, and conversely, no one should be denied the validity of their own experience of themselves and their life. And all differences, psychotic ones especially, because that's what this post is about, are beautiful in their own way and worthy of acceptance and respect.

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rotting-brains · 3 months

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weirdos stick together cuz if we talked with a normal person about delusions or psychosis they'd treat us like monsters

#rea's rambling #actually schizospec #actually schizoaffective #schizospec #schizoaffective #schizoaffective disorder #schizoid #actually schizoid #actually psychotic #psychotic disorders

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sophsicle · 8 months

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hi sophhhh

so evan is dating both barty and cerci now? he’s gonna stay with the both of them?

#soph rambles #kyd #they are a family #a cute lil family #two sunshines and their lil psychotic boyfriend

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malhare · 4 months

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>video about Frank Horrigan

>comments are turned off

Yeah that tracks. Frank Horrigan is the biggest example of the Fallout fandom just completely missing the point of a character, Frank Horrigan fanboys prop him up as some chad alt right supersoldier but in reality he's a tragic character who is completely misguided and brainwashed, throwing away his life for the very people who tortured and abused him. Frank Horrigan is an allegory for those who would sooner heartlessly destroy those similar to them than to admit that they are being used and abused too

#I actually really love Frank Horrigan as a character. Especially since he's psychotic #He's an awful person but his story tells a lot about the Enclave and the world of Fallout 2 #Augh Im in too deep now Im gonna start rambling abt fo1 and fo2 #I should replay them......#Embarrassingly I never finished fo2 I could NOT beat Frank Horrigan he stomped my ass good #malhare.txt

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stalkersdiary · 5 months

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~I Finally Have You~

Finally. After all this time, I get to rest. I've been hunting... and searching... for over a month. Trying to keep you hidden, for OVER A MONTH. No longer, do I have to keep this... us a secret from you. No more hiding and crying into my pillow because you can't see or acknowledge me yet. Now, even though you can't see my face, you can see me. You can hear me. You can H A V E A L L O F M E. I COULD RIP MY SKIN OFF IN EXCITEMENT. FUCK I'm so happy to have you here! I love you so much and being able to hold you, and kiss you, and exclaim my feeli-... Well... all of that can wait. For now, I have a bit of cctv footage to clear, and a few more supplies to get. Don't worry about the little accident we had on the way, you won't remember it anyways. Just let me love you, and cherish you, and keep you safe. ^^ My darling, you're finally home.

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twochildreninamoteldemo · 2 years

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y’know what’s funny about weirdcest and gencest is that they’re both canon. people think by the way sam and dean act that they’re together together, and they’re also codependent and require each other’s wellbeing to be in a good state, which is integral to their own mental health aka emotional incest, most obviously put into words by the siren.

and in terms of straight up incest, we know there are held-back erotic undertones to their relationship, as zachariah tells adam. so really the only thing holding them back is their own inhibition, and wincest is, for all intents and purposes, canon.

#wincest #samdean #psychotically irrationally erotically codependent #weirdcest #gencest #supernatural #maven rambles #spn

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cannibal-nightmares · 14 days

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me: I should press on in sharing my experience with schizophrenia for the sake of those who can't and for those who can benefit in feeling inspired to seek their own help as they see their reflection in my posts. If it weren't for those who came before me sharing their stories, I would not be where I am now in my recovery, support systems, and my resources.

paranoid noise: No, you should keep your mouth shut. You're not benefiting anyone in the way you think you are, that's just your bargaining to ask for attention. Even though you were professionally diagnosed, who's to say it wasn't wrong? Who are you to talk about schizophrenia?

me: ...Are you a fucking fascist?

#needless to say i dont make habit to listen to fascists #cannibal-nightmares rambles #actually schizospec #actually schizophrenic #actually psychotic

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highlifeboat · 7 months

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Miranda: "So. Do you enjoy movies?"

Mia, who's been locked in a cage and tested on for like a week: