#pray for me. send sleep vibes. or whatever the fuck. hit me in the head with something. put lavender under my nose (it give me bad dreams-

[foxgloveinspace]

Listen. If you had told me in August I would be hyperfocused on Assassin's Creed, Daredevil, CoD, and DBH by January, I would have shoved you. And the fact that I am MORE INTO THESE THINGS THEN I EVER HAVE BEEN!! WHen three of these are re-hyperfixations, and I am just. FUlly, FULLY obsessed with them. And DBH was just last night,fuck. TO be fair I had a long af night. I was up til 3. reading dbh fic (but the fic was not the reason I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep so I fic, you see).

#very much so #the ac and dd brain rot is real for me right now. it's so fucking real guys. #I think about Desmond Miles at least once a day #and Matt Murdock??? No one wants to know. seriously it's getting to a point I have experienced since I was a teenager. Thats how I think ab #out him. I think it's unhealthy tbh #I'm so sleep deprived i... why has this happened to me #hopfully i can sleep tonight #pray for me. send sleep vibes. or whatever the fuck. hit me in the head with something. put lavender under my nose (it give me bad dreams- #so don't actually do that) #why did I think I could write a prompt tonight thats so dumb??? I can't spell right now and all I am doing is watching ah compilations #but I am so grateful to the person who sent a prompt anon I love you so much I'm kissing your head a lil' smooooooooooch #if anyone is reading this I am SO SORRY #this got off track. oh well #yes I took the time to make my my capital letters <s> it looks soooo much better #I like the look of <s> a lot anywya whay if i started making all my posts <s> #I'm not editing my misspellings tonight tired sleep now soon

[bastardtetsu]

{day 09} vanilla ice cream | tsukki x reader

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, secret pen pal, mutual pining a lil bit?

wc: 1.5k

warnings: sick reader (hangover/cold), mention of drinking, some swearing, tsukki showing human empathy

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

somehow it all reminds me of doctor jekyll and mister hyde for right before my eyes, a man that i despise has turned into a man i like

—vanilla ice cream; she loves me (music by jerry bock, lyrics by sheldon harnick)

the first thing you notice as you wake up is your pounding headache. it’s hard to be surprised at your state after the amount of alcohol you consumed last night - not without good reason, of course. as awful as you’re feeling now, it’s nothing compared to the hell that was last night.

it wasn’t supposed to go like that - it was supposed to be a magical, maybe even romantic evening. you had been looking forward to meeting your mystery friend ever since the two of you started messaging each other online, but you hadn’t expected to develop a full-blown crush on this person without even finding out what they look like.

but the more you got to know their personality, exchanging playlists and talking about your similar tastes in music, the more your messages to each other became fonder, even flirty at times. perhaps it was the level of anonymity that made you both so comfortable talking to each other, but you quickly became each other’s most trusted confidants.

when you started working at the record store, things became a little more stressful as you adjusted to your schedule becoming tighter, having to handle the occasional nasty customer, and dealing with one coworker in particular who must have being rude to you written into his DNA. talking with your anonymous friend is a much-needed escape, a distraction from the mundane, a hidden treasure that only you get to enjoy.

so as you sat waiting in the cafe last night, a rose laid out on the table as you had promised your dear friend, nothing could’ve killed your vibe faster than the aforementioned rude coworker - tsukishima kei - showing up and ruining everything.

you could tell he was only there because you’d insisted on leaving work early to make this date, and he wanted to see if you were lying. he only proved his intentions more when he had the audacity to sit down at your table and make jabs at you for meeting up with someone you met online.

“you’ve been waiting an awful long time haven’t you?” he taunted.

“tsukki, if you don’t leave this table—“

“and you’ve never even met them? this is how people get murdered, you know,” he sneered condescendingly. you almost got thrown out because of how loudly you screamed at him. thankfully you didn’t - although you did seem to strike some nerves with tsukishima, which you felt a bit bad about - but even though you waited at the cafe until closing, nobody showed up, leaving you alone with a single rose and a full bottle of wine.

needless to say, you have every reason to feel like shit this morning. not only are you hungover and heartbroken, having heard nothing but radio silence from your friend, you’re starting to feel lightheaded and stuffy-nosed too. you waste no time calling in sick, burying yourself in your blankets as you try your best to shut out the pounding in your head and the salty tears beginning to sting the backs of your eyelids.

suddenly, a knock at the door jolts you back to reality. “who is it?” you call out weakly.

another knock. you drag yourself out of bed with a quiet groan and go to answer the door, only to be met with a familiar lanky blond.

“what do you want, tsukishima,” you demand dryly, “did you have something you forgot to say last night? if you do say it fast, i don’t feel well today.”

“yeah i know, you called out of work,” he replies ambivalently, “that’s why i’m here.”

“oh, so you’re here to check up on me again, make sure i’m not slacking off?” you taunt him, your temper rising.

“that’s not—“

“you gonna go back to work and tell everyone i’m lying? that i just don’t care about my job?”

“no i’m n—“

“well joke’s on you, four-eyes, ‘cause guess what? i’m not giving you the chance.” you immediately start gathering your belongings, preparing to go to work.

“what?”

“i won’t be that late,” you mumble to yourself, throwing a coat over your arm as you hurriedly grab your keys, “fuck— where the hell is my other shoe??”

“oi,” tsukishima says firmly, “y/n. you need to lie down.”

“fuck off,” you bite back at him.

“no seriously, you look like you have a fever.”

“i don’t care,” you snarl, “help me look for my shoe, i know it’s here somewhere—HEY!!!”

there’s not much you can do but continue screaming at him as tsukishima scoops you up in his scrawny arms - which are evidently way stronger than they look - and carries you to your bed, dumping you unceremoniously on top of the blankets.

“THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?” you shout. he just shrugs.

“what was i supposed to do? you wouldn’t get back in bed.” he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. arrogant prick. you slump down into your blankets, feeling too depleted to pick a fight anymore.

“i brought you something.”

your head shoots up as a plastic grocery bag lands next to it. opening it up, you find a tub of vanilla ice cream inside. “it’s the best thing to eat when you’re sick,” he states.

“a-ah,” you stutter hesitantly, “thanks.” is tsukishima being… nice to you?

“did that uh… friend of yours ever show up?” he asks cautiously.

“no,” you mutter bitterly, “i waited til closing. guess you were right, meeting some stranger from the internet really was a stupid idea.”

“hm,” he grunts awkwardly, looking away from you.

“i mean,” you continue, “the least they could’ve done was give me some sort of explanation. instead they just fucking ghosted—“

“they didn’t ghost,” tsukishima interjects suddenly, almost defensive. “i mean— it hasn’t even been a day, they’ll probably hit you up later.”

“and how do you know?”

“because—“ he stops short, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “i saw the guy last night. on the way out of the cafe.”

“wait—what??” you exclaim, “you saw them? how do you know??”

“they were supposed to be holding a rose, right? like the one you had?”

“yeah— wait, how do you know about that?”

“it wasn’t hard to figure out. people usually don’t sit at cafes with loose flowers on the table unless it’s something dumb like that.”

“shut up, you wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass,” you snap back, “so he’s a guy? what did he look like? did you talk to him? what did he say?”

“yeah, uh— he asked if i knew you,” tsukishima recounts, “and he wanted me to tell you he’s sorry for bailing, but something else came up.”

“anything else??” the eager glow in your eyes is suffocating as you stare him down, hungry for more details.

“yeah. he— he was kinda ugly.”

“…seriously?” you respond, half unimpressed with his attempt at a joke and half nervous that he isn’t joking at all.

“what, does that matter?” tsukishima replies mockingly, “i thought you liked him for his personality.”

“i do,” you jab, “and you know what, i don’t care what he looks like. and i certainly don’t care about what your salty ass thinks of him. i’m gonna message him right now, actually”

“have fun,” he says dismissively, turning to make his way out before pausing to pull a record from the vinyl collection on your shelf. “you like this album?”

“yeah, duh. it’s been one of my favorites for years.”

“huh. me too,” he replies, “it’s crazy how it stays with me. sometimes i swear i can hear it in my head while i’m asleep.”

“that’s funny,” you say, “my friend does the same thing. he hears it in his sleep.”

“heh. that is funny,” he mutters quietly as he turns to leave.

“tsukki—“ you stop him before he exits, “thanks for today. you’re not as awful as i thought.” a tentative smile graces your lips.

“whatever,” he mutters, quickly turning his face away from yours, “see you at work tomorrow.” as he retreats out the door, he prays you didn’t notice his blushing cheeks.

once tsukishima is out the door, you waste no time crafting a new message to your friend - but you find yourself struggling to piece together sentences as you snack on the ice cream tsukki brought you, the cold sensation easing your aching throat. was that really the same guy who’s been an asshole to you since the day you started working with him?

it’s incredible that the two of you even spent 2 minutes together without being at each other’s throats like usual, and even more so that someone as harsh and bitter as tsukishima would do something as kind as show up at your door with ice cream when you’re sick. he even said something to make you feel better - and it worked.

realizing that you’ve zoned out, you quickly snap your attention back to your message. but as you continue typing, you find your thoughts continually drifting back to the tall, bespectacled blond and his uncharacteristic kindness.

by the time you manage to write what you have to say and hit send, tsukishima is safely out of earshot when the new message pings on his phone.

he smiles and hopes that you figure it out soon, too.

a/n: i hope the ending for this one is clear addsdsdf,,,, i watched the entire roundabout she loves me revival to get inspired for this (and by get inspired i mean remember the plot details of she loves me bc i had only seen it once before lmao) tbh the narrative of this fic actually covers like 3 different songs, bc old musicals are weird and thought it was necessary to make looking for a shoe an entire number. anyways, all I have to offer you today is laura benanti being utter perfection and all of my love <3

taglist: @izagraceee​ @musicgetsmeoutofbed​ @azo-musxas​ @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp

#haikyuu!! #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukki x reader #haikyuu x reader #25 days of ficmas #e writes #.txt

[smileyoongle]

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part 10

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

As the three friends stepped inside their humble abode, the heavy silence dawned on them. You quietly helped Minho carry Yoona up the stairs and into her room, her unconscious self mumbling some incoherent words that you didn't care about. Your body ached, your muscles tensing while you tried your best to pretend that everything was alright. 

But was it?

As Minho laid Yoona down on her bed, you stood with your arms crossed by the door, holding yourself back from spewing a number of questions towards the young man. You knew Minho could probably not answer them, but you just had to ask. You bit your lip, eyes darting around the room as you tapped your foot out of anxiousness. Minho seemed to notice, his eyes falling on your hesitant expression. 

There was a pang of guilt in his chest. The incident at the club made him question the things his sister was doing. Tonight, Taehyung had almost lost you again. As much as Minho liked you, he also respected the fact that no one will ever be able to love you like Taehyung. Everyone knew that. So with a sigh, he stepped away from Yoona's bed and made his way towards you, halting right in front of you and staring at you with the most serious expression he could gather.

"There's something you need to know."

You frowned, standing up straighter on hearing the tone of Minho's voice. Whatever he was about to say, he wasn't very pleased with it. You slowly exhaled, nodding reluctantly as Minho nudged you outside Yoona's bedroom. You swallowed thickly, trudging towards the hallway and massaging your temple. Your head was beginning to hurt now. Whether it was because you needed sleep or because of the overwhelming surge of emotions, you couldn't tell. You turned around to face Minho, only to see him walking towards your bedroom without sparing you a glance. "Hey." You called out, following behind as he pushed open the door and let himself in. 

"What do you want from-" you stopped mid sentence, eyes widening as Minho swiftly pulled out your diary from beneath your pillow. Your headache grew stronger, your heart thundering in your chest with your lips parted in surprise. Minho's expression didn't seem betrayed or anything, neither was he surprised. You wondered if he was gonna take this away from you. 

"I had come looking for you when you were in the shower. You didn't hide it very... nicely." Minho explained, the book dangling from his fingers. Your chest began heaving, your hands growing clammy with nervousness. Minho noticed your state and led you to sit down on the bed, crouching down before you as he placed the book in your lap. "Hey, it's okay. I won't ask who gave you this but I'm glad you got it." 

You looked at him, his lips smiling at you in an attempt to calm you down. The situation wasn't bad or anything, it was just about your mind being weak. Minho didn't want to send you into a spiral of panic attack because of something Yoona did. But he also had to tell you, no matter the consequences. 

Your words seemed to be caught in your throat. You just couldn't say anything at all, mainly because you didn't know what to say but also because you didn't have it in you to talk. You were really exhausted and you also felt like crying. Taehyung's distant voice echoed in your head. You had managed to tell yourself it's okay but it wasn't. You felt like you had been rejected for some reason.

"Y/N, how much have you read?" Minho asked gently, gesturing to the diary. You glanced at it, shaking your head in response. "Just a page."

Minho sighed, closing his eyes and pursing his lips. That meant he was gonna have to tell you without you having much knowledge about anything. Minho was praying that maybe you were suspicious about Taehyung but no luck there. 

"Minho, what is it? You're worrying me." You stated, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you with apologetic eyes and you knew something was very wrong.

"Y/N…Yoona lied to you."

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

The car was dead silent, Jungkook's occasional sniffles filling up the void. He couldn't see very clearly due to the tears brimming in his eyes again and again but he managed. The only thing on his mind was Taehyung. 

The fact that Taehyung was taking stupid decisions in the heat of the moment wasn't okay. Unfortunately, none of the members had any control over this situation, Taehyung had already made up his mind. Jungkook was the only one who got the idea of reaching out to you and bringing you back for a while. Yes, you didn't remember anything. But everyone saw that you still cared about the man who claimed to be your friend. 

Jungkook kept mumbling under his breath as he turned the steering wheel, navigating through the empty streets to get to Yoona's house. There were still questions about who those people were at the club but that was a problem for another time. 

The silence of Jungkook's car was cut off by the piercing ringing of his phone, his eyes flickering towards the illuminated object lying on the passenger seat. He quickly grabbed the phone and accepted the call on seeing Minho's contact flashing on the screen, putting the latter on speaker. He didn't actually want Minho's number but it was a precaution. For you.

"Hello, Jeon? I didn't know who else to call. Taehyung wouldn't pick-"

"What the fuck do you want? I'm coming over to take Y/N with me, by the way."

Jungkook snapped, eyes back on the road ahead. Minho's voice was a little off, strong vibes of distress coming Jungkook's way. Nonetheless, it didn't matter as long as it was nothing related to you.

"What? Wh- why are you coming to get Y/N?"

Jungkook clenched his jaw, assuming all sorts of things on hearing Minho's question. Did that guy actually think he was gonna keep you away from the people who cared about you?

"None of your business. She needs to stay with people who can actually protect-"

"Y/N ran away."

Three words. Self explanatory. Nothing too complicated. But words cut deeper than a knife. It's a saying that people don't believe unless they've been wounded themselves. Jungkook's blood ran cold, his foot hitting the break in a hurry. The car came to a halt, a little too abruptly, sending Jungkook lurching forward in his seat. His eyes were wide and hid breath was caught in his throat. With shaky hands, he brought the phone up to his ear. "What did you say?"

Minho gulped loudly before explaining himself.

"I told Y/N the truth about Taehyung. Sh- she ran away immediately. I don't know where she'd be going but I think-"

Jungkook couldn't listen anymore, his fingers tightening around the phone as he hung up and slammed his hands on the steering. A loud groan of frustration left his mouth, his teeth clenching in anger. Minho just had to mess this up.

Jungkook rested his forehead against the steering wheel in defeat, unable to stop the tears from falling.

"Y/N, where are you?"

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

"Taehyung is your boyfriend. You lived with him and not us. He loves you ...a lot more than Yoona or...me."

Minho's words were playing in your mind again and again like a broken record. Your lungs burned, as if you had inhaled too much smoke along with the prickly tears in your eyes. Your leg muscles felt weaker and weaker with every step you took. Certainly, running on the street in the middle of the night wasn't your ideal plan. 

A broken sob escaped your mouth as you stopped sprinting and held your diary close to your chest. You didn't even know where you were going, all you knew was that you had to go to see Taehyung. You could have waited until morning but Yoona's house was making it hard for you to breathe. The house wasn't the problem. Your inability to breathe was due to the fact that it was Yoona's.

The winter air nipped at your skin, goosebumps rising across the expanse of your skin as you caught your breath and continued to cry. You couldn't believe how many problems life was making you deal with, this definitely wasn't normal. Your heart ached when Taehyung's face flashed in your mind and you began to imagine how it must have felt to watch your lover go away with someone else. Taehyung was also on the wrong side due to how he didn't tell you the truth but he was the only one who could tell you the reasoning behind the said deed. 

Just as your breathing started to grow normal, a faint sliver of light fell at your feet, your eyes looking up to see a car coming your way in the distance. You narrowed your eyes when it came closer, the headlights blinding you to the extent of you having to avert your gaze. You brought your hand up to shield your face, unable to move from your spot in the middle of the road. Maybe you were just too tired. Or you had lost every essence of will in your heart. 

You spotted the red colour of the car, it's shiny surface catching your attention when it came to a halt right in front of you. You watched as the driver got out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut, his dirty blonde hair ruffling in the wind. He had striking eyes with a gaze so intense that you had to look away for a second. He was wearing a black shirt with a few buttons unbothered. Your breathing faltered when the stranger came to stand before you, a very confusing smile gracing his lips as he looked at you with sympathetic eyes.

"Hello, Y/N. My name is Eunho and it's so great to finally meet you."

Taglist: @min-t-posts @that-random-gurl @bringitseijoh @kpopgirlbtssvt @jeonjello @shadowstark @bangtanniexxx @wendyiiwl @imlostindarkness @sinnersblogg @jazzytfw @lovestrucked-again @hopetookmysoul @angelwolfexorcist @taes-strawberry @ireallylikefoodandyoutube @annoyingpessimist @hajimaoppaa @atwoodscott @kawaiimusiccollection @byeolizzie @sleepysavya @sensiblebutch @maiden-mars @soundofwonderland @the-fangirl-lorax @btsarmysvtcarat @youthandtears @novelread000 @glitterytreephantom @chocolatemilk1221 @cookiemonstermusic258 @iamcrazyforkdramas @luckyzipperscissorsbat @kpop-is-life100 @entitledtolove @somewhereinthestarss @vertueuxeuse @anothermisspark @xanny91 @mayumioutloud @rulz0821 @bbangtan-ddaeng @got7-yeah-got7onmymind @kassandravictoria @flowersgirl02 @whateverfandoms @bl00bts

Obviously I'm unable to tag a couple blogs and that's totally not annoying. Also one of the blogs texted me that they were gonna start another blog but I don't remember the name anymore??FML.....AnYwAY, let me know if you wanna be tagged? Okay, love you!

-XX

#bts #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts mafia imagines #bts mafia imagine #bts kim taehyung #bts mafia reactions #mafia bts imagines #mafia bts au #bts mafia au #mafia!taehyung×reader #mafia leader kim taehyung #bts angst #bts reactions #kim taehyung imagines #kim taehyung mafia fanfic #mafia kim taehyung #come back home fanfic #smileyoongle #I'm sorry but this needed to happen

[deathfxrhire]

I Warned You

Characters: Foggy Nelson ( @nelsons ) and Slade Wilson.  Matt Murdock ( @wcrldonfire ) referenced.

Word count: 2,419

Summary:  After the confrontation with Daredevil on the roof, Slade decides to follow through on paying Foggy a visit.

Triggers: Violence, blood, guns.  Hella angst (thanks Foggy).  

FOGGY: “Whatever you say, Murdock! You sure you don’t want me to come with?” Foggy yelled after the man, laughing when his friend flicked him off, saying something about the Chinese take out place a few blocks away. It had become a ritual, for Matt to come to Foggy’s temporary office a day or two a week, eat lunch with him, repair the relationship that had been so fragile over the last few years. It made the lawyer’s chest warm with this ache he couldn’t name, having a part of Matt back. Being a part of his life again. For once, things were going in a good direction - a positive one - since the whole...well, everything. Since things with Karen started. Since he and Matt fell apart the first time.

The door chimed again, and Foggy spun around in his computer chair, grin half-frozen on his face. Where he expected Matt Murdock, stood a tall man. Bold, wide in stature, full of muscle, one eye. Foggy tilted his head, genuine smile turning polite. “Oh uh, hi there.” Foggy pointed to the door, “Thought that was locked. Sorry about that — I’m actually out for lunch right now, but uh, you wanna come back in an hour and I can help you? Mr...?” He asked, trailing off at the serious expression the older man wore.

Foggy had to admit, he wasn’t getting a great vibe. Kind of like that time his aunt hired a clown for Foggy’s college going-away party, right before he’d gone to meet Matt. The eerie feeling of something inhuman looking back at you.

SLADE: Slade Wilson was not one for idle threats. He'd told Murdock during their showdown on the roof that he knew of Foggy, an implicit promise to make the vigilante pay if he tried to get in the way.

Murdock had decided to fight, forced him to come back another day for the kill, and the way Slade saw it, he owed the man fulfillment of his end of the bargain.

Nelson wasn't hard to find, nor was it difficult to time things for after Murdock left--he seemed, like many lawyers, to be something of a creature of habit. Picking the lock is child's play, but Nelson doesn't seem to realize that's what happened. Judging by the faintly wary look on his face, Foggy does realize that maybe his guest doesn't mean well.

Not a complete moron, then. Slade doesn't even bother trying to make the smile he returns look genuine. "Wilson." Without looking, he reaches behind him and flips the deadbolt, expression unfaltering. "There ya go. All locked up now. Wouldn't want anyone else walking in while you're on break, would we?"

Slade crosses to take a seat opposite Foggy, spinning the chair around so he can fold his arms across the back. Foggy Nelson doesn't look like he's got an ounce of defensive capabilities in his entire body, but even so, guns are easy to use at close range. He likes the barrier.

"Go on and eat, Mr. Nelson. Keep your hands visible, if it's not too much trouble." There's a click from behind the back of the chair. One that sounds distinctly like a gun's hammer going back. The smile doesn't falter.

FOGGY: Foggy forces himself to relax, smile more like a grimace now, as this Mr. Wilson makes himself at home in the somewhat empty office. All of the furniture is clumsy and secondhand - amazingly just like Nelson & Murdock had been - so Foggy prays for a second that maybe the shit computer chair will break right out from under the overly buff man, sending him to the floor and giving Foggy just enough time to begin to run away before Mr. Wilson shoots out his knee caps. “You know, funnily enough, I’m not feeling so hungry anymore.” Foggy lays both of his hands on his lap, steeple style like he’s seen Matt do at church, and makes sure he wiggles his fingers for Wilson, just in case the man decides one of them are in his pocket or something.

“What can I help you with today?” he asks, somehow hoping that Matt’s super Daredevil senses are tingling and he will come running back to Foggy and kick this guy’s ass for trying to hurt him. Even big, scary-strong, handsome men like Mr. Wilson get their butt handed to them by Daredevil from time to time. Besides, Foggy’s been shot before — he definitely doesn’t want a repeat performance if he doesn’t have to have one.

SLADE: Admirably steady, this one, despite appearances. Murdock sure knows how to pick 'em.

"You're very calm, Mr. Nelson. Not your first time?" Slade asks, though it's more rhetorical than anything. No one's that calm with a gunman less than ten feet in front of them unless it's not all that irregular an occurrence. "Probably not, I'm guessing, given the company you keep. He's not coming back, by the way--heard him catching a phone call from a 'Karen' on his way down the street. Otherwise he'd have noticed me, I've no doubt. Shame, that."

The sharp grin says otherwise.

The gun comes out to rest on the top of the chair, where his arm is folded, and his other hand reaches into his coat pocket for the suppressor as he continues to chat at the man. "I ran into him a few weeks ago. Told him his friend would be in some trouble if he got in my way. Stubborn man made me miss my shot, that night, so now I've gotta come pay you a visit. A man's word is all he has, you know. You appreciate that, I'm sure: the importance of contracts. I've got a reputation to uphold."

FOGGY: Foggy’s eyes follow the weapon, the first bite of a shiver rolling through his gut. Nausea and discomfort pull at him but Mr. Wilson thinks he’s steady. Thinks he’s cool and collected and is definitely talking like he knows about Matt and his evening activities. Foggy wishes that Matt was a blind stripper or something instead — something Foggy could understand — not a vigilante who hurts people and has their loved ones kidnapped. “So you’re mad at a blind man for making you miss your shot? Sounds a little like maybe you’re not a great shot,” he continues to talk, eyes flickering from the gun to around the room, wishing he had anything but pepper spray with him. His bag is hooked around the chair, but even with the pepper spray somehow in hand, Wilson’s only got one eye. Foggy’s already at a deficit.

“I’m a lawyer. I’ve had many weapons pointed at me — people are angry with me all of the time, especially if they don’t like the outcome of a trial.” Foggy swallows, hand beginning to shake where it’s tightly steepled with his other one. He wants to dart out, knock the gun from Wilson’s grip like he’s seen on NCIS a million times, but he can’t move a muscle, and Wilson looks like that would probably make him pretty fucking angry, so he continues to sit still. “What has Murdock gotten himself into?” Foggy asks quietly, like a friend who didn’t know anything about his best friend being a vigilante would do. He licks his lips and darts his eyes back and forth worriedly, all of those days in theatre club finally coming to good use. Wilson doesn’t know that Foggy knows. Can’t know. Even Foggy still wakes up after a long nights sleep and has to remember that it’s real — that not everything is normal and they’re not just best friends and lawyers anymore. That there’s so much water under the bridge that it laps at their ankles every day.

“We don’t have to resort to violence, Mr. Wilson,” he says somewhat shakily, “You seem like a very smart man. Whatever it is, we can talk about it. You’ve got confidentiality in this room.” He urges, shoulders more tense than he’s ever felt them in his life. The flashback of Matt, bleeding in his arms, laying his bloodied body into Foggy’s lap and readying himself to die there, hits him harder than any of Wilson’s bullets ever could. He would protect Matt with his life, he thinks.

SLADE: A bark of laughter, at that. Despite the situation, Nelson's got a hell of a sense of humor. It ain't gonna stop Slade from doing what he needs to do, but it's a point in the man's favor anyway. "Maybe not," he replies easily, screwing the suppressor onto the end of the gun with all the ease of a trained killer. He doesn't even need to look, gaze instead focused on Foggy. On the way the man's eyes cut toward his bag, the way his hands are beginning to tremble, the way his shoulders have gone stiff and his Adam's apple bobs as he eyes the gun.

There's the fear.

"That's a question for you to ask him. Suffice to say he isn't associating with safe people. You don't get a man like me going on personal jobs by accident. But I ain't here to talk. I am a smart man, but I'm a man of action. Always have been." He draws back the hammer of his gun, and there's a click as the firing pin draws back.

He turns the gun to level it squarely at the space between Foggy's eyes, perfectly aimed despite what should be a handicap without the benefit of two eyes. "No matter how good or bad a shot I may be, Mr. Nelson, there's no missing this close. But you've been entertaining, so I'll tell you what: I'll get you involved, give you a bit of fair choice. Right or left?"

FOGGY: Foggy feels too focused. Almost unfocused at how unbelievable this entire situation is. He’s stayed out of it. He’s followed all of the rules and still bad things happen to him. (Maybe this is why Matt just breaks them.) Licking his lips once more, Foggy’s mind begins to race at what right or left could mean. Is Wilson going to shoot him on the right side of the chest? The left? Shoot a leg? An arm? His right or Wilson’s right?

“Right.” He prays, silently, though he’s never been a religious man. The Nelsons went to church of course, but once grandma died, Foggy stopped going without the expectation. But he prays. Like he’s fifteen again and he feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, not knowing what he knows now as a thirty-something year old man. Now that he’s got the weight of a gun pointed at his head. “You have to have some sort of bargaining chip,” Foggy pleads, sweat beading at his brow. Wilson could shoot his eye out. Could shoot him in the heart.

SLADE: That's a pleasant surprise. He'd expected the man to beg, expected to have to ask twice to get a real answer. But Nelson's smarter than that, can clearly tell that Slade isn't the type to change his mind once it's been made up. So the answer comes first, then the plea.

"Bargaining chip? 'fraid not--this isn't a bargain. This is a statement." Slade lowers the gun, leveling it at Foggy's upper arm, and squeezes the trigger home in one fluid movement.

Glass on the desk behind Foggy shatters as the bullet goes clean through, and the shout of pain doesn't even earn a batted eye as Slade pushes himself up out of the chair, gun still in hand. His free hand curls around the back of the man's neck, gun pressed to the man's knee.

"Shh. Breathe through it. Pressure on the wound. I'd stay seated, if I were you--laying down will make you bleed out faster. Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, I need you to pay close attention. Are you listening?"

FOGGY: The burning in his arm outweighed the queasiness he felt in his stomach. The rolling anxiety that filtered up through his chest and prickled where Wilson’s hands held him up. He remembers this pain. Remembers how he felt sluggish and exhausted, nearly bleeding out on the ground the first time. Remembered how good it felt to have Matt worry about him for once. Now, there is no Matt. No Karen. No Jessica. Just the man who shot him. The man who was cradling him as the blood rushes passed his ears, whispering things to Foggy that he can’t hear passed the chattering of his teeth. His large fingers press into his wound and he lets out a loud keen, followed by a whimper.

He’s going to die here. On the floor of this shit office where he’s just temporarily staying. Foggy’s never gonna get his deposit back —

Matt’s not coming back for him. The panic stays with him, and he feels the tremors of shock run through him as he practically vibrates in Wilson’s arms, “What—“ he croaks, and his voice sounds strained, even to his own ears, and he’s twitching. Matt’s not coming. He’s not here. “What—“ he repeats, and he’s trying to listen. Trying so hard. “Matt,” he says softly, the wetness on his cheeks dripping down his neck and pooping on the collar of his newly stained dress shirt.

SLADE: Yeah, no. Nelson seems to be glassing over already, barely able to keep a handle on what little Slade's already said, let alone whatever he's going to say next.

Damn.

"Oh, isn't that sweet," Slade sighs, and reaches around Foggy instead to grab a pen off the desk, a scrap of paper that's probably important. Not as important as it's about to be.

He scrawls down the note, sets it on Foggy's lap. "There ya go. You just hang on to that for me, there's a good man." He reaches his hand down to Foggy's briefcase, rifles through until his hand closes on the man's cell phone. He pops the battery out and tucks it into his jacket so the man can't call, and for good measure, shoots the desk phone, too.

"Let's see how lucky you are today, Mr. Nelson. Don't worry, I'll even leave the door unbolted--something tells me you won't mind your lunch break being further interrupted, hm? Good luck, kid."

And with that, he's gone, leaving a bleeding-out Foggy Nelson hunched in his chair and three simple words on the paper on his lap.

I warned you.

#c: foggy nelson #d: i warned you #f: discord #//lola kindly indicated to me after this that matt cannot #//in fact #//read the note #//but its fine we're fine it's all fine Slade doesn't have custody of the Wilson family braincell anyway

[pretty-volatile]

Sunday, November 3, 2019 5:44 pm

Okay life update:

For the past week or so I've been pretty depressed and super tired/exhausted/sleepy/drowsy/out of it. I skipped my Spanish class twice. I skipped one day's worth of lectures and I skipped my discussion too. So yeah, needless to say I had a bad week. I even asked my coworker to close Wednesday in trade for me to close Saturday (last night) because I was just so tired of life, but not like in a suicidal way, just in a "I want to sleep the rest of my life away" way.

Friday I finally saw the OBGYN and I officially signed my consent forms for my hysterectomy!! We're just taking out my uterus, cervix, and hopefully the fallopian tubes. One minor setback is that I guess I have to get another letter of recommendation from another psychologist, which my therapist will help me out with. Otherwise, I'm just waiting for the insurance to get back to us which will take a couple weeks, then we can schedule, have that other letter of rec on hand, schedule a pre-op appointment and then finally get the thing over with! Yayyy

Saturday I saw my psychiatrist. Turns out the sedation and depression actually mean that the Luvox/Fluvoxamine is starting to work lolol. He also prescribed me Propranolol for situational anxiety, which will hopefully help with the ticks/flinches/twitches of anxiety I keep getting. I know I can definitely use it on the days that I have to be around people for a long ass time. It's as needed so it's not like I really have to take it everyday.

Ummm last night was traumatizing as fuck. I got in a fight at work that I regret even getting into. My right eye is all red and my eye sockets is all swollen and bruised. He apparently hit my jaw/neck too because that's bruised as well. That and my left arm is bruised/swollen as well. We almost thought I had a concussion since I got hit on the head quite a bit, but I think as far as that goes I'll be okay. My glasses broke too, but I've temporarily taped them until I can get a new pair.

I have to close again tonight. Pray for me or send positive vibes or whatever

#journal entry #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bipolar #bipolar disorder #ocd #luvox #fluvoxamine #depression #sedation #side effects #hysterectomy #obgyn #propranolol #situational anxiety #ticks #tremors #trauma #fight

[canaryatlaw]

GUYS. so today was my birthday and it was pretty great. I woke up at like 11 and decided to get up because I didn’t want to just sleep all day (sometimes when I have nothing better to do I’ll just go back to bed) so I got out of bed and everything, decided to make a blueberry dutch baby for breakfast since it’s been a little while since I’ve made one and they’re pretty easy and good. so that took a little while and I went on my computer while it was baking and while I was eating it. Once I finished I got dressed and headed just over to main street so I wasn’t stuck in my apartment all day, so I walked down to the Francesca’s since I hadn’t been in there in a while. I wanted to check out their jean selection because I have one pair of jeans from them I got like two years ago that are super comfy and a lot of my jeans right now aren’t fitting very well so I was hoping I could find some more, and they had some that were from the same label but weren’t really the same thing and didn’t fit well, so I ended up moving on from there. I walked a little further down to where there’s like this t-shirt store that has a bunch of other funny random stuff in it so I just walked around for a while and appreciated it. I walked back up the street after that and stopped in a clothing store to look around a bit and chatted with one of the staff members about my day and plans. I wanted to stop at Starbucks to use my birthday reward (though nothing can top 2015 when they had the specially featured birthday cake frappuccino for one day ON MY BIRTHDAY) so I got a grande vanilla bean frap with 3 pumps of raspberry syrup (which is supposed to be like cotton candy flavored or whatever, it just tastes good) and sat in Starbucks for a little while before heading back home. Once I got home I watched last night’s episode of The Resident since I hadn’t gotten around to doing that yet. Such a good show, and a good episode. I otherwise just chilled out for a bit and got some stuff ready for the interview tomorrow (!!!!) before heading out a little after 5 to meet Jess at her work when she got off and from there headed to Olive Garden for our little birthday celebration, part one anyway. The initial plan was to hit up The Cheesecake Factory and their fancy movie theatre but since that’s a bit far north and we didn’t want to be out too late we decided we would do that on Saturday. So we drove over there and got seated, then definitely got flooded with too much food on the table and did not finish all of it, lol. We finished up there and drove over to the movie theatre where we were gonna see Captain Marvel! Very excited since I haven’t gotten a chance to see it yet. And it was really good! I was kinda surprised we didn’t learn more about like, her childhood and life on earth before all of this happened but I liked what we did get to see. I knew going in that the Kree were the real bad guys lol (which I mean, they’re chatting with Ronan fairly early on, were we really supposed to believe they were good??) and they actually managed to make the Skruls fairly sympathetic after initially painting them in a not very good light. I loved Carol and Fury’s relationship, they were great together. The whole scene of them fleeing the government base with the team trying to chase them down was great. and Goose!!! I loved him so much (and I’m only a little bit partial given my own cat) but he was basically the best and I can’t wait for him to eat Thanos in Endgame. The whole climax though when Carol discovers her true powers and starts beating the crap out of the Kree was so fucking cool, she kicked so much ass and I love it so much. Basically it was a great movie all around, definitely one of the better ones I’ve seen in the past few years (it doesn’t quite eclipse Wonder Woman for the number one spot but it at least makes the top 5). So yeah, all of that was very much fun. Drove home after that, I showered and started getting ready for bed, got everything set out and ready to go for tomorrow morning then started writing this and now I’m here. The interview is at 10 and they want me to get there like 10 minutes early for paperwork and such and given I’ll have to go through security as well (the office is in the courthouse building) I’m planning on entering the building around 9:30, so I’ll give myself an hour to get there (it will not take me an hour but that’s what extra time is for) and an hour to get ready (I won’t need a whole hour to get ready) so I’ll set my alarm for 7:30 in order to have plenty of time to be good to go. Now, if you haven’t been paying attention or are just tuning in now, this is *the* interview for the job that I want more than any other and have been hoping for for over a year now. This is the office I interned in during law school and I know every inch of it from the 600+ hours I spent there working. I know I can do this. I just have to make it happen. This is the thing I really care about though, and when I’m in other job interviews and it comes up they always say they like that I get really passionate about it, so hopefully they will see this as well and that will be what they’re looking for. I mean, I know it’s not going to be difficult for me to talk with them because this is what I care about, there’s no BSing here, this is where I want to be and why I made the choices I’ve made thus far to get here. Now I just need to make it happen. Idk who exactly they’re looking to hire or how open they would be to hiring “new” attorneys, but I plan on making it clear that they can handle me a stack of files and send me to court the next day and I’d do just fine. I’ll do whatever training they want, but I know how to do this. I did it for so many hours, actually in court at the bench arguing with other attorneys (and I’m actually a full-blown attorney this time instead of a law student with a 711 license). I know I can do this. I just have to make it happen. If you’re the praying type if you could send me prayers for this (10 am central time tomorrow) or if not prayers any good vibes would be very much appreciated. I got this, I know I do, I just have to make it happen now. And with that I am going to get some sleep. Goodnight friends. Hope your day was as good as mine.

#daily journal #March 2019 #Jess tag #birthday