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starleska · 1 year

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i think ‘Big’ Jack Horner is Disney, and here’s why

many of us have had the pleasure of seeing the incredible Puss in Boots: The Last Wish by now, and were blown away by its clever writing, enchanting animation and emotional character arcs. yet there is one character who booted the trend of having a reason for his behaviour, and outright refused to experience any growth whatsoever.

let’s talk about ‘Big’ Jack Horner, and why i think he’s supposed to represent Disney:

‘Big’ Jack Horner isn’t just an antagonist in The Last Wish - he’s a villain. a self-obsessed, exploitative, murderous, petty, cruel bastard of a man whose awful behaviour isn’t just motivated by personal slights or childhood trauma: he sincerely enjoys hurting other people. whether it’s cheating his goons (’The Serpent Sisters’) out of a fair payment for their services or being excited about shooting a puppy in the face, there’s no denying that Jack delights in causing others pain and suffering. but what does he have to do with Disney?

let’s answer that question with another question: do you think that Jack, when placed next to the other antagonists - Goldi, The Three Bears, even Death - sticks out like a sore, plum-coloured thumb?

of course he does! but why? well, let’s look at Jack on a surface level. Jack is a monolith of a human being. not only is he physically huge and intimidating, he is the inheritor of an enormous pastry fortune and operates in the manner of a mob boss, with countless resources and a whole variety of powerful magical items at his disposal. indeed, Jack employs a crack team of bakers/assassins called ‘The Baker’s Dozen’ to carry out many of his tasks. although Jack does harm others himself, it is because of these resources - including the people who work for him - that he is able to bypass many of the obstacles faced by our protagonists in an honest and character-developing way (e.g., the Pocket Full O’Posies in The Dark Forest). Jack doesn’t need to have a character arc the way the other characters do, because he is so wealthy and owns so much.

but Jack’s reason for owning so much and being obsessed with magic and magical items isn’t through intellectual curiosity, or a traumatic backstory where he needed to learn how to wield magic. do you know what Jack’s covert motivation for owning all of the magic in the world is?

it’s money.

when we get the flashback of Jack’s childhood, dancing for the entertainment of an audience using his nursery rhyme, we see him becoming jealous of Pinocchio - and we see Gepetto in the back, absolutely raking in the cash. if we consider this flashback as that crucial moment within which Jack decided to become what he is today - and the presence of our off-brand Jiminy Cricket inclines us to think so - then we can understand that Jack decided that from that moment forward, he would own all of the magic.

let’s go back to The Baker’s Dozen for a moment. this team of highly-competent, multidisciplinary artisans do everything for Jack, whether it’s baking the pies which make him rich, or laying down their lives at his service. we aren’t given an in-universe reason for why they do this. yes, Jack is feared, but he is still the subject of mockery due to his humble beginnings as a nursery rhyme character. it certainly isn’t due to being treated or paid well. however, if we view the Baker’s Dozen as a metaphor for overworked, exploited artists whose views are routinely dismissed by the money-hungry, powerful corporation who owns their craft...things start to add up, don’t they? considering historic allegations of worker abuse at the hands of Disney, having Jack Horner literally step on their spines and encourage them to flex takes on a whole different meaning.

it doesn’t end there. do you recognise the items that Jack pulls out of his Mary Poppins bag when his Baker’s Dozen are being destroyed by the Pocket Full O’Posies - the items that he calls ‘the big guns’? it’s the broomstick from Fantasia, the spinning wheel from Sleeping Beauty, the size snacks from Alice in Wonderland, and a knock-off Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio - all references to some of Disney’s earliest and most famous films.

still don’t believe me? well, let’s recap more of the items Jack has in his repertoire:

a hook-hand (referencing Captain Hook in Peter Pan)

a trident (referencing King Triton in The Little Mermaid)

poison apple bombs (referencing The Evil Queen in Snow White)

a glass slipper (again referencing Cinderella)

remember what happens when the knock-off Jiminy Cricket (interesting that there are so many Pinocchio references specifically, huh?) is horrified that Jack is losing so many men? Jack says he isn’t worried about losing the manpower, because he has a bottomless bag full of magical weapons. Jack literally gets his power off of the backs of his workers. sounds a lot like a big company justifying worker layoffs and exploitation because they have so many properties and are too big to fail, doesn’t it?

hell, Jack doesn’t even know what half of these items do! when he’s using the unicorn horns as ammo, he is surprised that they cause people to explode in a shower of confetti. viewing Jack through this lens, it’s difficult not to think about enormous corporations gobbling up properties and churning out content with little to no regard for their artists (looking back at The Baker’s Dozen - some of whom do perish in the fight with the unicorn horns) or what the properties are about. we haven’t even touched on Jack coveting the Wishing Star, a recurring motif in countless Disney movies as representing magic, dreams, and boundless creativity.

now, i hear you saying, ‘but Star! why would DreamWorks bother writing their bad guy as a metaphor for Disney?’ believe it or not, this isn’t the first time that DreamWorks have done this. in case you didn’t know, Lord Farquaad is a caricature of Michael Eisner, former chairman and CEO of The Walt Disney Company. the production of Shrek was actually quite troubled; animators who were perceived as having failed on other projects were ‘Shreked’, or sent to work on Shrek, instead of working on other (presumed to be more lucrative) films. of course, DreamWorks was co-founded by previous Disney CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg, hence the animosity towards Disney and its works evident in the Shrek franchise. this is what formed the story of Shrek: an ugly, crude outsider character taking on the clean-cut moralising of a dictator hell-bent on a so-called ‘perfect’ world, all created against the creative backdrop of a painful separation from Disney and a great deal of pent-up rage.

the irreverent, crass and sometimes adult humour of Shrek was a middle finger to Disney’s high-censorship control on animation. this is why Lord Farquaad (which you may have noticed sounds a bit like ‘Fuckwad’) is so obsessed with Duloc being ‘perfect’, and why he couldn’t stand the freedom of the fairy tale creatures who are the heroes of the first Shrek movie.

in fact, this kind of meta-commentary permeates the Shrek franchise:

The Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2, despite being a fairy tale creature herself, is highly prejudiced against characters who break out of their perceived social norms: i.e., Shrek marrying Princess Fiona and getting his Happily Ever After. she is an expansion of the control left over by Lord Farquaad, and rich because of her monopolisation of fairy tale creatures and their stories.

Prince Charming in Shrek the Third fails miserably to capitalise on these themes, but we’ll get back to him!

Rumpelstiltskin from Shrek Forever After tackles the gluttony of franchise reboots, and how soulless and rooted in corporate greed attempts to reboot often are. whilst not necessarily Disney-specific, Shrek Forever After follows the box office bomb that was Shrek the Third: a movie which noticeably fails to write a compelling narrative approaching any of the themes of the previous two films. the writers learned from their mistakes and wrote a movie which satirised their own selling-out of the franchise, becoming hollow and unnecessary and ‘perfect’ - the very thing they were making fun of in the earlier Shrek films.

there is one more area i’d like to touch on: Jack Horner’s source material. we know that Little Jack Horner is quite obscure: an 18th-century English nursery rhyme involving a boy who pulls a plum out of a pie with his thumb, and congratulates himself for his fortitude. but did you know that from its earliest conception, Little Jack Horner was associated with foolishness and dishonesty?

it’s true: the simple yet inexplicable nature of the poem was lambasted for being infantile, and quickly became the subject of revision, moralisation, and even political satire. it is no mistake that to ‘be under one’s thumb’ (as many of the characters in The Last Wish are to Jack, both literally and figuratively) means to be under one’s decisive control. the choice of Jack Horner for the villain of The Last Wish is a clever one, because we could easily have ended up with a sympathetic Jack, whose ostracisation as ‘not even a fairy tale’ may have led to a justifiable motive, even for his specific brand of cruelty. but instead, the writers of The Last Wish have gone one step further; they’ve transformed a source affiliated with idiocy and deception into a metaphor for a global multimedia conglomerate...all while portraying him as simultaneously terrifying, powerful, and ridiculous.

it has been over a decade since Shrek Forever After was released, and Disney has changed dramatically in that time. a global giant, Disney now owns more enormous money-making properties than ever thought possible, and consistently capitalises on nostalgia for its early properties to make more money and accumulate power. since breaking out of its exclusive licensing agreement with Disney in 2016, DreamWorks has had no official connection to Disney, making the ground for mockery and satirisation of the company which spawned the studio all the more fertile. ‘Big’ Jack Horner is not just a glamorous return to form for the dreadful, unapologetically evil villain which Disney has eschewed in modern times - he’s a hulking, egocentric monster whose avarice rivals that only of the corporation he’s inspired by.

and those are my thoughts on ‘Big’ Jack Horner! of course this is by no means the definitive interpretation - we should all just have fun with the movie and come up with whatever theories we like 🥰💖 i’d love to hear your thoughts on him and The Last Wish in general - he’s definitely one of my favourite bad guys to be released in the past few years!

thanks so much for reading, and have yourselves a wonderful day 🥰

#big jack horner #jack horner #puss in boots: the last wish #puss in boots #shrek #disney #puss in boots: the last wish spoilers #starleskatalks

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landrylovesmatcha · 2 years

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the fact that the embodiment of the collective human unconscious feeds the birds like an old man is so goddamn delightful somebody play him that scene from mary poppins

#myart #dream of the endless #the sandman #sandman 2022 #tom sturridge #morpheus #the sound of her wings

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gretavanlace · 8 months

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Poppins (part 10)

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: sexual content, language, angst, etc. Poppins has come to an end my lovelies, but I’ve an epilogue in store for you, so don’t despair. Also, I’m so sorry for the wait, your patience and understanding means so much to me and I appreciate and adore you all xoxo❤️

“Just ignore him,” Josh breathes unsteadily, lapping against your neck like he can’t stand to exist another second without the essence of you blazing a languid path over his tongue. “He’ll go away.”

A louder, more insistent knock sounds out, as if in argument. As if to say, ‘that’s what you think! I’m not going anywhere!’.

“Oh my god,” you squirm beneath him, but not in the way he would like, not the way you were just moments ago. “It’s like you two have some sort of bat signal for interruption.”

A sharp laugh sounds out of him, open and honest. Beautiful, and so very Josh. “I can assure you, sweetheart, the last thing in the world I want right now, is my fucking brother at the door. Lemme get rid of him.”

He rises reluctantly and walks backwards, fingers fumbling to fasten his pants and adjust himself, eyes on you while you slide up into a more presentable position and attempt to smooth your hair.

“It’s no use, love…” he flashes that blinding grin of his, pairing it with a wicked wink, “he’s going to know you’re wet and up to no good. You look gorgeously desperate.”

You feel your cheeks color further as you contemplate running off to hide in the kitchen. He’s obscene, and the effect that it has on you is concerning. Your entire body is wired up tight and thrumming. You’d crawl to him, should he hook a finger in your direction.

Your traitorous brain conjures that image - you, on your hands and knees, making your way closer to him, to his cock. You want him in your mouth. You want him to press into your throat, to make you gag, to shape you into something filthy for him. Something pretty on her knees ready to give without thought, should he ask.

The knock sounds out again, snapping you out of your salacious daydream. You’re reluctant to leave it, but bid farewell anyway.

“Shut up!” Josh shouts, slipping effortlessly into sibling mode as he twists the locks and cracks open the door.

He’s gearing up to tell his twin to fuck off, it’s evident in his stance and by the way he wedges his foot against the wood, like Jake might decide to push his way in - but in a breath, he swings the door open wide.

“Hey, baby,” the affectionate greeting tells you all you need to know - Jacob isn’t alone. “What are you doing up so late?”

Jake saunters in, winding around Josh, with a wide awake Lily on his hip - who is barefoot, dressed in a frilly, purple princess nightgown, and clinging to her beloved uncle. She shrugs and drops her head to his shoulder.

“Mom told me not to let her fall asleep on me,” Jake runs a soothing palm up and down her tiny back. “Said she’d wake up as soon as I tried to put her in bed. I’m tired of that woman constantly being right about everything.”

“Wanted to come home.” Lil hushes in her soft little girl voice, “I didn’t want you to be all by yourself.”

“Ah,” Josh waves off her concern and leans in to sweep a kiss onto the crown of her head, “you don’t have to worry about daddy, Lily-bit. I’m tough as nails.”

Jake’s eyes are locked in on you over their exchange, flashing with gleeful accusations. Josh is as right as his mother always seems to be - Jake knows exactly what he’s walked in on, and he is delighted to have stopped it in its tracks.

“And just look, lil…” he grins, clearly enjoying himself, as well as your furious blushing, a great deal. “Daddy’s not all by himself, Poppins is here to keep him company!”

She swivels her head around lightening fast, eyes thrilled and round with surprise.

“Hi!” Her greeting comes as a squealing chirp as she scrambles down out of Jake’s grasp in order to hustle into yours.

“Hi, Lil,” you gather her up into your lap and finger comb her tangles, while she settles in, smelling of no tear shampoo and sleep. “What are you doing out on the town at this hour, you little party animal?”

“Jakey drove me,” suddenly her face is close to yours, nose to nose, as she confides, “he turned the radio up loud like I like ‘cause I promised not to tell Daddy.”

You’ve yet to meet a child who possesses the ability to properly whisper, and Lily is no different.

“Jake,” comes Josh’s stern admonishment.

His brother cuts him off at the pass, “The Shining, man, you let my angelic, perfectly innocent niece watch the Shining.”

“I didn’t let her, I—“ he interrupts himself with a huff of irritation. “Thank you for bringing her home.”

At the faint hint of a goodbye, Lily is clambering off your lap as quickly as she arrived. “No, uncle Jakey, stay stay stay!”

When her tiny hand tucks itself away within his own, every heart in the room knows the battle has been lost.

“Alright, girly,” he crouches down and cups her chipmunk cheek. “I’ll stay, but you have to promise to go to bed. You need your sleep so you can rest that big, bright brain and wake up ready to learn brand new things tomorrow.”

He could have so easily reminded her of ‘beauty sleep’, but he chose to emphasize her insatiable thirst for knowledge instead, and you love him for it.

“I’ll try,” she shakes her head solemnly, “but I dunno, I’m pretty awake. Feels like morning.”

Your eyes have wandered to Josh, watching him as he watches them. There is that completely laid bare devotion that you’ve always seen, but also, something new…or at least, something you’ve never noticed before.

Wistful indebtedness is the only way to describe it, though even that seems to fall short. He is beholden to them both - unflinchingly, and for very different reasons.

Likely, it isn’t new at all…maybe you’ve just never looked hard enough.

He has told you as much before, but now you are seeing it unmasked for the very first time; he would lay down his life for his brother, without thought. He looks at Jake as though he blazed the sun to life with his own calloused hands - and when you think about it, that is exactly what he did for Josh all those nights ago, when they stood shoulder to shoulder, staring through the nursery window. Jake had given Lily to Josh, and lit up his whole world, bright as the sun.

Tears are clutching at your throat, but you shake them off and extend a hand out to Lily to make her an offer she can’t refuse “How about a princess bath, Lily-bit?”

Jake is forgotten in an instant at the promise of a princess bath, and she scurries over to grab your hand with the ardor only a child flying high on their second wind seems to be capable of. “Can I have bubbles and flower water?”

“Of course,” you promise, as though it should have been a given, silently praying that the little amber bottle that lives in the medicine cabinet is full of the lavender drops that will turn ordinary tap water into flower water.

A princess bath is reserved for very special occasions, and certainly, being awake so late into the night after an unexpected drive through the sleeping streets of town with the radio cranked up way too loud, ranks a special occasion.

“C’mon, daddy,” she grabs his hand as well, trudging through the room, on a mission to be pampered…and you catch sight of Jake settling down onto the couch to wait, over your shoulder.

It feels like abandonment somehow, leaving him like this. Alone.

But Lily is chattering on, and your attention is quickly refocused as you work alongside Josh to make her happy. More importantly, to relax her enough to wrangle her into bed and lull her to sleep with a story.

It takes less effort than you had originally feared it might, and soon you’re creeping from her wildly chaotic bedroom while he quietly reads her a story - complete with changing character voices and much enthusiasm - stepping carefully over dinosaurs that rest, reptilian feet and winding tails stretching toward the ceiling, next to half dressed baby dolls and toppled towers of blocks.

Josh is adamant about instilling responsibility, and while she is given regular tasks and age appropriate chores, he insists her space is her own, and has never once, in your presence, ordered her to pick up her toys from her own floor. The living room floor? Daily. But he never dictates her space.

The way he sees her as a person is one of your most beloved ways to watch him parent. So many forget that children are people with thoughts and feelings, who are lacking the skill set to navigate the world properly…that they need guidance, not policing. Josh never forgets that. Josh sees Lily.

There is a soft smile ghosting over your lips listening to him read to her when you step into the hall to find Jake leaned against the wall like some long-haired James Dean minus the popped collar and casual cigarette.

He cocks his chin in the direction of the backyard and then pushes off with the heel of his boot to swagger down the hallway “Come have a look at the stars with me, babe.”

You follow behind him, feeling a little like a lost puppy, but damned if you know how to do anything but follow these two men - so beautifully alike, yet so achingly different.

“What were you smiling about back there, pretty girl?” He asks, rasping words into the night the second the two of you settle onto the framed porch swing that graces the deck.

“He’s so good with her,” you’re smiling again, remembering. “I don’t know, it makes me smile. I want her to be happy and loved. Strong and fierce. He’s going to make sure that happens. It just…” you offer a little shrug as his hand finds yours in the dark, “it makes me smile, that’s all.”

His head lulls to the side in your peripheral vision, watching you “You love her.”

“I do.” You confirm with a slight nod, not trusting yourself to look at him. “Very much.”

“I love her, too.” He whispers, and finally, you turn to catch his eye.

“I know, Jake.

“You love him.” He’s no longer whispering, his words come fainter .

Your response squeezes painfully out of your tightened throat, “I love you, too.”

His reply mirrors yours that came before, “I know, poppins.”

It is silent for a long stretch before he breaks it, “Did he tell you? How all this came to be?” A soft chuckle precedes the joke he makes to lighten the heavy, “the tale of the Kiszka Twins and the fucked up ways we fuck up?”

You ignore his joke, and address it for what it was: something serious masked as frivolity “Do you think you fucked up, Jake? What you did? Do you regret it?”

Again, there is a pause, and you allow him all the time he needs.

“Sometimes.” He takes a deep breath. “I love her so much it feels like something separate from myself. Some sort of being in and of itself. Like there’s me over here, and then my love for that little girl over there. Because it’s just so great that there isn’t room inside my body for it all, you know? Does that make sense?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, “Yeah, sometimes I get selfish and regret it a little. Sometimes she looks at me with such adoration, such fucking complete devotion and all of a sudden, I want her all to myself. I want to grab her up and run away with her in my arms. But it always goes away just as fast as it comes, that selfishness…he’ll walk in the room and her eyes will light up. Or they’ll share some silly inside joke that I don’t get. Or she’ll ask a question and he’ll see it as a moment to teach her, where I would’ve just answered it…he’s her father and that’s the way it should be. He was always meant to be her dad.”

You’re cradling his hand in both of yours now, soothing your thumbs across his knuckles “You think? Like an everything happens for a reason kind of thing?”

“You look at those two together and tell me what happened didn’t happen for a reason.”

You raise his hand and press a kiss to the back of it, before sweeping your cheek against the knob of his wrist, “I don’t know how to handle all of this. Or what to do with you two. It’s like I can’t separate you in my head. I don’t want to choose. I won’t.”

“Now who’s selfish?” He laughs lightly, wiggling his fingers that are still laced and wound around yours.

“I’m sorry.” A gentle sob shakes your shoulders, and for a moment you wonder how you ended up here. How strange.

“Don’t be sorry, Mary Poppins,” his foot kicks out, swinging you both back and forth in the moonlight, “I’m not sorry, and I won’t make you choose. Can I tell you a secret?”

Lifting your head away from his hand, there is reluctance - his skin feels right pressed against your own, and you hate to part from it “I don’t know that I can handle any more Kiszka secrets.”

A laugh, much too loud for the hour, bubbles out of him “Sure you can, babe. I’ve already decided for you. I won’t leave tonight, because I promised girly I’d stay, but I’m gone in the morning, and I’ll see you when I see you.”

“What?” Is it that you really don’t understand his meaning, or that you don’t want to understand it?

He hums a little tune and rests his head on your shoulder, hushing soft lyrics into the air as he swings gently, “Bye bye, baby, it’s been a sweet love…”

“Jake—“

“Isn’t that what you called me? Free bird?” His beautiful face tilts up and then there is his nose, nuzzling your cheek tenderly, his touch far more innocent than you’ve ever known it to be before. “It’s time for me to go, and it’s time for you to stay.”

You’re prepared to fight, but for what, you’re unsure, “I know what you’re doing. You’re choosing for him just like you did with that goddamned band you guys had.”

Now it’s his turn for confusion. He sits up in order to get a good look at your face and prods you along with raised eyebrows.

“Your mom told me. What you did for Josh because you knew music wasn’t what he wanted. How you gave it up to make him happy.” You’re spinning out of control just a little, but you can’t be sure why. Isn’t this what you wanted? An easy solution?

It just suddenly so seems tragic. He’s given so much to Josh, and here he sits, giving still.

“Fuckin’ Karen,” his laughter is quieter still, and blurred sadly around the edges. “She’s got a big mouth, that one. She’s right though, I did give it up for him. You, on the other hand, are wrong.”

You so badly want to reach out and stroke your fingers through his hair, he feels like mist, like a ghost who is already gone. A memory who sits before you. But you think it’s best to let him speak, and so you do.

“I’m not leaving for him. I’m leaving for her.” As if he can read your thoughts, his fingers card through your hair. “You love me and you love him and both of us love you back and it’s this convoluted fucking disaster, but none of that matters. She matters. And honestly, babe, it’s not even that hard to walk away because it’s for her. She deserves someone who thinks of shit like princess baths, and someone to fix her hair pretty for her first day of school. Someone who’s going to know what to say to her when she doesn’t feel good enough, or smart enough. Someone who won’t get flustered and weird when she starts her period, or needs her first bra,” he shudders a little at that and it makes you smile. “Someone who will know how to make her heart hurt a little less the first time some idiot boy makes her cry. Someone who will know what to do in a million other moments that I can’t even name because I’ll never be that person for her, and neither will he. She needs a mom. She needs you.”

“Don’t you think you’re putting the cart before the horse, Jacob?” You ask, though you don’t feel the conviction you’re desperately trying to color your words with.

“No, I don’t.” He’s never sounded so sure of himself, and that is a feat, as Jake is almost always sure of himself. “Not at all. You belong here. With her. With him. And I belong god knows where, playing for pretty girls who will never be you.”

“I love you, Jake.” You’ve said it already tonight, out here amongst the crickets and the dewy grass that could use a trim, but this devotional feels like the last.

His arm stretches out to pull you in “But you love him, too, don’t you, babe?”

“Yes,” And that is the truth…

He presses a kiss against your temple “And you love her?”

“More than both of you combined. More than myself.” And that is the truth, too.

“Well, then, Mary Poppins,” he sighs as you sway in the swing, the muted creak of its chains keeping time. “It seems we’re on the same page.”

“Will it really be so easy for you to walk away?” You can’t help but hope there will be at least a hint of melancholy in his tone…but there is nothing but content in his reply.

“For Lily? Yes. The easiest thing in the world.”

When you wake, it is with Josh curled up warm and snug around you. He soothes your soul like a security blanket. And even given the events just hours before, you feel serene…like you’re floating through calm, perfumed waters with tranquil skies overhead.

You hear him, of course you do, his voice will always perk your ears, you suspect - and maybe that’s okay.

Yes, you hear him. Speaking to her gently, giggling with her, singing to her, telling fanciful stories of what he’ll get up to on the road.

You listen to him remind her of how smart she is, how grand her heart is. He makes her promise to call him all the time, and to give uncle Sammy grief every chance she gets.

He says, “Listen to your daddy, girly, and make Poppins laugh at least once a day, just for me.”

…and then, with a click of the front door, he is gone.

Tears threaten in your eyes, but then there she is, climbing up onto the bed with Josh’s mangled maroon shirt clutched dutifully at her side.

“Can you make me pancakes?” She asks, crawling through the sea of blankets…and you smile, because you can make her pancakes. Of course you can.

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hanasnx · 11 months

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hear me out: anakin who realizes you have a thing for his hands. ooh boy. him slowly realizing how much you pay attention to his fingers as he's pointing out different things on the holomap for different battle strategies. him having a hunch, but brushing it off until he can test his theory. slowly, he starts testing his theory in little ways just to see how you react - his hands on your hips as he scoots you over to move past. his tracing patterns on your skin casually, but smirking as the traces leave goosebumps in their wake. noticing how you try to hide how your breath catches when his hands are touching near your pulse points. oh and now that he knows? that smug mf is using that power all. the damn. time. foling the sleeves of his robes up in a way that makes his forarms look fuckin scrumptious, ESPECIALLY after he's done the subtle pressure of the weight of his hands as his fingers wrap around your throat. him using his fingers so much when he explains thing, just to watch your eyes focus on them. him as he gives you two fingers to suck on under the guise that he's just getting them wet, but then he's all like "all that just for my fingers? already a fucking whore just for my hands, hm? pathetic little thing." him making you wait before he fucks you with his fingers. him tracing over every part of your bosy - staring with the insides of your wrist up your arms to the pulse point on your throat, then down your chest where he traces around the outline of your nipples just to watch the way you whimper, and then down your hips before you feel the pressure as his finger trace up the sensitive skins on the insides of your thighs... he makes you beg for it, reveling in just how much power he has over you. asking you, "aw, you want something, baby? tell me what you want. you want me to kiss you? want my mouth? ...my tongue?" "hm?" "but that's not what you want, is it?" "no pussy's fucking soaked just for my hands." "pretty little thing is falling apart and all i've done is touch you" "what, you're thinkin' about me fucking you with your fingers? how full they make you feel, even with just two? hm?" or are you thinking about my fingers wrapped around that throat of yours? makin' you dizzy till you're dumb for me? gonna fuck you on these fingers so good you're gonna think of it every time i touch you ." oops sorry i just had some thoughts and i wanted to share but this got away from me

as someone who loves hands and has an arm kink, i’m delighted by this offering. here are my favorite lines:

☥ “his hands on your hips as he scoots you over to move past”

ik it’s mad annoying when guys do this, but if anakin did it i’d be twirling my hair n shit poppin my ankle like omggg🥴🫶💕he touched meee

especially bcos it can be treated with a natural subtlety. during the day when your relationship must remain a secret, no one could suspect anything sinister by anakin moving you aside like that. it’s just innocent enough for him to get away with it.

touching the small of your back whenever possible too, to lead you places or guide you out of the way or to walk alongside you and leaning into your atmosphere to “hear you better”

☥ “rolling the sleeves of his robes up in a way that makes his forarms look fuckin scrumptious; the subtle pressure of the weight of his hand as his fingers wrap around your throat”

i want him to choke me like i’m obi-wan during the mustafar fight scene. steal my breath away, bend me backwards over your knee. make my life flash before my eyes—

the rolling of the sleeves.. oh my god. he’s such a slut tbh knowing what it does to you and doing it to achieve that specific purpose. slut behavior.

☥ “he gives you two fingers to suck on under the guise that he's just getting them wet, but then he's all like ‘all that just for my fingers?’”

literally over here losing my mind at the idea of being caught. sucking on his fingers like a good girl until he checks your panties to confirm his theory, lo and behold you’re soaked

☥ “‘tell me what you want. you want me to kiss you? want my mouth? ...my tongue?’”

this,, the way it was worded. oh my fucking goddd. like i can hear his playful tone daring you to tell him what you really want. he wants to hear you say it. you want his fucking fingers. dirty little whore.

☥ “‘or are you thinking about my fingers wrapped around that throat of yours? makin' you dizzy till you're dumb for me?’”

i ,, i fucking. love. dumbification. when people write him calling reader names like “dumb little baby” while he’s balls deep inside. “can’t even speak, can’t even think. too cock-drunk. too fucking stupid.” i go fucking wild. being dumb for him is a dream of mine, thank you for including it.

☥ “‘gonna fuck you on these fingers so good you're gonna think of it every time i touch you.’”

the fact i absolutely would be. like every time i feel those big fucking hands on me you best believe i’m reliving whatever pleasure he brought me while finger fucking me into oblivion. that thrill shooting through me in a bone shaking shudder when i feel the warmth of his hand graze me in some way.

suffu,,, i love this. thank you. i got to feel like the excited reader this time

#arm kink <3 #spoken-stardust #i’m always the one writing the x readers #it’s been a while since i got a lil gift like this where i got to experience the 😳#it felt so catered to me and my likes.. ugh. love.#thanks for the msg!!#indy shoots the shit #indy recs #anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker prompt #anakin skywalker imagine #x f!reader #indy reviews

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meister-de-cachinnation · 9 days

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youtube

Dungeon Delicacies

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon Fan Song

:: LYRICS ::

Step into the dungeon, where the crew's on a mission Laios the tall man, devourin' up some fiction Marcille the elf, spellcasting with precision Senshi the dwarf, cookin' up a culinary vision Chilchuck the half-foot, dodgin' traps, no collision

In this twisted realm, we feast on more than just glory Crawling through the darkness, our hunger never bore me Poppin' open chests, searching for treasure, no worry But what we really crave? The taste of dungeon's story Cookin' up monsters, our palates never get gory

Dungeon delicacies, that's our appetite Feastin' on the unknown, we got a brand-new plight From goblins to dragons, we take a big bite Dungeon meshi, baby, it's a culinary delight

Deeper into darkness, where the echoes start to wane Laios tastes adventure with every monster slain Marcille weaves her spells, turning shadows into bane Senshi stirs the cauldron, his expertise plain Chilchuck dances through traps, his moves like a refrain

In the heart of the dungeon, where the air is thick with fear Laios carves a path, his appetite sincere Marcille chants softly, making danger disappear Senshi adds his flair, making meals to endear Chilchuck finds the way out, with secrets ever clear

Dungeon delicacies, our hunger guides the way Dungeon meshi, we're here to slay and cook another day Marching through the maze, in the pale torchlight In this dungeon kitchen, every meal’s a fight

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #marcille donato #senshi #chilchuk tims #music #fan song #Youtube

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annaberunoyume · 3 months

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How would Nezha react to being offered help from a Naga!Reader to sleep?

It would probably take a long time to feel comfortable being helped...But he may figure that it may help him be a better guardian...So, he sits on one or your coils...And let your spirals do the magic...Hands on his knees. At first, his eyes simply widens in surprise at the spirals...But then they mimic the dancing lights patterns...But it is only when you begin to hum that his eyelids begins to feel heavier...You smile cheekily...And to gently taunt him, you sing the song "Stay Awake" (Mary Poppins)...Soon...his head begins to lower but he snaps it upright again, only for it to wobble anew...You smiled, findig it adorable...Not wanting to spook him awake, you keep gently singing almost in a whisper...tilting your head as Nezha begins to topple to the left...You wrap your tail lightly around his chest, reassuring him: "Let me help you lie down." "(Slight yawn) Ok...", he breaths out. You keep humming as he now lies atop your coils limply.

"This feels nice...(Yawns) Should have...Done it...sooner."

"Happy to know that...(lies down, facing him) I can make it more relaxing...If you want."

"H...How?", he yawns, again.

"By wrapping you...Like a blanket."

He shivers. But he smiles at he beholds your spirals... "...Go on.", he says.

You resume humming and singing...Maneuvring your coils so that he is wrapped loosely from mid-chest to knees. He humms and curls up a little, delighted by the heat, the warmer the coils becomes.

You scoot closer, as the lotus prince's eyes are bobbing up and down..lazily opening and closing...

"Sleep...Lotus Prince.", you almost hold his hand.

He closes his eyes at last and sighs...You take it and give it a peck. You could swear you saw him blush as he huddles more into the warmth...A lovely sight to behold.

Inspired by this piece:

UPDATE (02/04/2024): I could also imagine Reader singing these lovely chinese lullabies to Nezha, as well.

youtube

UPDATE (02/14/2024): Here is a sort of sequel to the above fanfiction I wrote:

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butterfilledpockets · 9 months

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sword umbrellas exist and are an absolute delight!

Behold! The umbrella that got me stopped by the campus officer

NINJA MARRY POPPINS NINJA MARY POPPPINS NINJA MARRY-

#ask butter #this is so fucking cool the world has become a better place] to me #solely because of marry popins hidden ninja umbrella

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lyralit · 2 years

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50 books to read in a lifetime.

The Magician's Nephew, C.S. Lewis

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis

The Horse and His Boy, C.S. Lewis

Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis

The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis

The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis

Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery

Anne of Avonlea, L.M. Montgomery

Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, V.E. Schwab

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Charlotte's Web, E.B. White

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl

James and the Giant Peach, Roald Dahl

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

The Giver, Lois Lowry

Ghost Boys, Jewell Parker Rhodes

The Golden Compass, Philip Pullman

Macbeth, William Shakespeare

Ready Player One, Ernest Cline

These Violent Delights, Chloe Gong

Our Violent Ends, Chloe Gong

Holes, Louis Sachar

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Saénz

Life of Pi, Yann Martel

Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

The Mysterious Benedict Society, Tristan Lee Stewart

Les Trois Mousquetaires, Alexandre Dumas

The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas

Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum

Mary Poppins, P.L. Travers

A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine Miller

The Fault in Our Stars, John Green

Looking for Alaska, John Green

Genuine Fraud, E. Lockhart

Scythe, Neil Shusterman

The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern

Le Horla, Guy de Maupassant

Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief, Rick Riordan

To all the Boys I've Loved Before, Jenny Han

The Summer I Turned Pretty, Jenny Han

If We Were Villains, M.L. Rio

Dracula, Bram Stoker

Le Tour du Monde en Quatre-Vingts Jours, Jules Verne

side note: all of these are in different genres with different age groups and levels of appropriate-ness. some are older and may contain controversial subjects. I speak for none of the authors: I liked the book, and that's it.

tag and comment your favourite books to be added to the list!

#just some of my favourites~#books #bookblr #lyralit #John green #c s lewis #book recommendations #book recs #book list #books to read

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imasallstars · 17 days

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The cover art for THE IDOLM@STER SideM CIRCLE OF DELIGHT 12 High×Joker album has been released and the album is set to be released on May 29th 2024. It will feature two new unit songs and a special Drama

The crossfade of the album is located here

Tracklist:

Tr.01　POPPIN' PLANET 　Lyrics: Aira Yuhki　Music&Arrange: Kentaro Fujii (HANO) Tr.02　Drama part 1 Tr.03　Seven Days Arpeggio 　Lyrics: Futa Shintani　Music&Arrange: Atsuki Okuma (Arte Refact) Tr.04　Drama part 2 Tr.05　POPPIN' PLANET (Off Vocal) Tr.06　Seven Days Arpeggio (Off Vocal)

#album

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talesofsonicasura · 10 months

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MFN/Transformers: Reader

I noticed my post yesterday is blowing up up why not go further into the concept? Like I said before, THERE ARE NO SPOILERS. Anything I mention from the game is info established from the demo, trailers, steam page and synopsis.

Let's get started, shall we?

Reader is going to be gender neutral or preferred gender. They're very close to Optimus Prime but you won't be seeing any romance in the main story. If I do a pairing then it'll be in a side story. There will be lighthearted teasing for both Reader and Optimus but everything remains platonic.

You can't tell me none of Prime's fellow bots tease him about a possible interest. Especially when his sporadic visits begin to seem suspicious. As for Reader, blame Ricky. I don't think something like a possible crush or love is gonna escape his radar. Luckily the sock puppet has some tact to keep the more childlike puppets from hearing.

Now for the actual post itself:

Reader is like Mary Poppins. They have a mysterious magical connection with My Friendly Neighborhood. Any magic is imaginative and harmless to those around them. Optimus wants to explore the place? He just has to close his optics and let Reader hold his servo. When he opens them, the Autobot is now human sized.

It's much more stronger in the Neighborhood as they can subtly alter reality around them to suit their needs. The further Reader is from the place though, the weaker it will be. Weakest being only able to conjure letters for ammo. Imagination, childlike whimsy and positive emotions does help restore their magical power.

Like Mary Poppins, Reader is a kindhearted individual. Willing to help others with their problems or give them a hug if need be. Reader does have all the weapons from the game but only for protection outside the Neighborhood.

Getting clocked with metal alphabet letters at a high speed are more painful to someone not made out of cloth and felt. One good headshot is enough to induce unconscious for a human. Letter to an optic will definitely break it.

They rather not expose the puppets to any violence if possible. Should everyone need to hide then there are spots Reader made specifically for evacuation purposes. Trust me when I say they have all sorts of non-lethal ways to handle dangerous intruders. Once the aggressors are knocked out, Reader wipes their memories involving the Neighborhood, destroy the evidence, then dump the blokes far away from the place.

They also carry an umbrella to travel around since the magic needed isn't too much. Reader sometimes carry a small 'birdhouse' for Ricky to emerge from. Optimus is later given one too when he contemplates telling the truth to his companions.

For Bayverse, Knightverse and Prime, Reader allows Team Prime asylum near the Neighborhood until they have a safer place to stay. You can bet bots like Ironhide or Jazz are scolded multiple times for nearly breaking the bad language rule. No one wants Junebug to run around spreading a swear she overheard to the other puppets.

Reader is practically the 'mom friend' of the group once the secret's out. Absolutely dolting on the bots and their human companions.

'Ironhide, have you consume any Energon today? If not then go refuel.'

'Hey Bumblebee! Raf is waiting in the backyard for you with Norman and Junebug. Take a break and go play some games.'

'There you are, Mirage! Everyone is worried. Want to talk buddy?'

Overall, Reader is going to be a whimsical delight amongst the cast.

*If anyone is wondering about canon deaths like Jazz. Reader can revive them if they're brought to the Neighborhood. It does take a massive strain on them but the more intact the body is, the smaller the cost. The three main components of a Cybertronian have to be in good condition or repaired. Substitutes for those work fine as long as it matches the individual's nature. EX. Ratchet: Medical Equipment like a heart pacer for Spark Chamber. Jazz: Performance items such as a boombox.

If push comes to shove, Reader can store their soul inside a puppet but they can't leave the Neighborhood. They need to be in their actual body as these are temporary vessels that need constant magic to survive. Let me paint the image of a puppet Breakdown and Knockout staring at each other. Also they will scold Prime Optimus if he pulls that endgame stunt.*

That's it for now! Until next time folks, continue to be good neighbors to those around you. Now transform and roll out!

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