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#poor kunikida
karmicpunishment · 4 months
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i love that we have kunikida and dazai as like, established partners in the ada, its wonderful
but they are the only paired-up duo in the ada which is extra funny to me, like no one else has set partners except for them
dazai needed the supervision and the universe wanted to keep giving kunikida mini-heart attacks everyday
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sally372 · 19 days
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Kunikida: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread. 
Dazai:
Dazai: I said I was sorry for eating your chocolate
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mncxbe · 8 months
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Kintsugi
Part 2 .... Part 1
𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂, 𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡/ light angst??/ Fedya's redemption arc
// little warning for toxic relationships
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𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂
doesn't understand at first why you're so emotional when he brings you little gifts or asks for your opinion/ consent all the time; but he doesn't ask about it
he only decides to press the matter when he notices you're kinda wary around him, especially after he had a rough day at work and isn't in the best mood
and oh mama
when you tell him your exes would take their anger out on you (doesn't have to be physical abuse, even if they just yelled or so) he is so distraught
he's like name and address please; he wants to go after those guys
but after you reassure him that it's all good now, he promises he'd never harm you in any way
'Why is she acting like this?' he asked himself for the nth time that evening. Arm resting on the side of his couch, his piercing gaze followed your every move; in the background the TV rolled a generic movie, the high pitched voices of the actors going right past him.
You were in the kitchen, occupying your time with meaningless activities: scrubbing the counters, cleaning the dishes, polishing the cutlery, refolding the towels to make sure they weren't getting crumpled.
But why? Why weren't you spending time with him?
Your boyfriend had a terrible day at work and all he wanted was to spend the rest of the day with you. But the second he stepped into your shared apartment and uttered a healf-hearted 'Hello love' you turned your back to him and did everything in your power to avoid him.
At first he thought you were simply busy, but three hours have passed since he returned home and you were still haphazardly moving around the apartment.
"Hey, Y/N. Can we talk for a bit?" he asked eventually.
Akutagawa watched you place the wet sponge on the edge of the sink and make your way to his side, still avoiding eye contact.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes" you said briefly, fixating a spot on the carpet.
Your boyfriend only huffed in response, hooking a finger under your chin to make you look at him.
"Look, Y/N. I'm not sure what's going on but if I upset you in any way please let me know."
The tinge of sadness in his voice caused you to sigh, your eyebrow knitting in frustration.
"No, Ryuu. You didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed you weren't in the best mood and assumed you wanted some time alone, that's all."
Your boyfriend was baffled, at a loss of words. "Why would you just assume that?" he pressed, eyes narrowing.
"I... I guess it's a bad habit I picked up from my past relationships. Sorry, it was silly of me. I should've asked what you wanted me to do." you said with a smile.
But Akutagawa wasn't happy with your answer. He had noticed this recurring behaviour and wanted to know more, so you told him everything: how your last partners would yell at you whenever they had a bad day and how you learned to just mind your own business in moments like that.
"Did they ever hit you?" he eventually asked and you could see the shadow of relief in his eyes when you shook your head.
"No, it wasn't anything bad. Don't worry."
Your boyfriend nodded, his lips curling in a gentle smile. "At least that"
His slender fingers let go of your chin and took your hand in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles; causing a pink hue to rise to your cheeks.
"I hope you know I'd never lash out on you, no matter how shitty my day is. My work and our relationship and two different things and I won't let one influence the other, ok?" he said in a gentle voice, earning a smile from you.
"Thank you love. And sorry for ignoring you all day. You don't even know what it took for me not to hug you"
With that your arms wrapped around his neck and he leaned back, propping himself up against the edge of the couch. You cuddled against his chest, body flush against his as his arms came to rest loosely on your hips. He breathed in and chuckled when he noted the fresh smell of cleaning supplies on your skin.
"Don't worry your pretty head about it. I'm not mad at you. Plus, the kitchen it spotless now so I have nothing to comment."
His remark caused a mirthful laughed to roll off your lips and he smiled again, placing a kiss to the crown of your head. Now, with you by his side, Akutagawa could finally relax.
𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂
he's so oblivious omg
doesn't really think your reactions to his kind gestures are out of place; but he does wonder why you're so impressed all the time
he strongly believes that you deserve to be treated like the queen you are so ofc he does just that
at some point he asks you about past relationships; just because he's curious
but when you tell him that your exes were all a bunch of assholes who've never treated you well he's so sad
I see him almost crying because he loves you so much
you're the one who ends up reassuring him that he's a great boyfriend and that you're happy with him djjdjdj
"Love, are you ok?" you asked in a worried tone as you watched your boyfriend lean forward, head resting in the palms of his calloused hands.
Kunikida's mind could not comprehend what you just told him. It all started with a harmless conversation about your past relationships; he was simply curious and wanted to know what they were like. But he certainly didn't expect you to tell him something like this.
At a loss of words, your boyfriend's gaze fixates his shoelaces, counting the number of times they looped in and out of the eyelets.
One...two...three...four...
He just couldn't believe it: how could anyone treat someone like you so harshly? so badly? How could anyone raise their hand at you or deny you things or raise their voice at you? It was beyond comprehension.
Kunikida thought of all the things you went though, all the toxic relationships you had to endure and felt tears pooling at the corner of his eyes; a burning sensation grazing at the back of his throat.
"Love?" you asked again, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
Your boyfriend straightened his back and arranged his glasses. "Yes, I'm alright. Sorry for that."
But the slight quiver of his voice didn't escape you, your lips curling in a sad smile.
"Oof Kunikida baby please don't be mad over this. I'm okay now."
Taking off his square-framed glasses you cupped his cheeks, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.
"Don't bother with those guys. What matters is that you treat me well and make me happy. Never doubt that" you reassured him.
Your boyfriend smiled softly, glossy eyes finally rising to meet yours.
"You sure you're happy, right? I mean if there's anything I'm doing wrong please let me know and-"
"No, no. Shush." you cut him off "You're amazing Kuni. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and I'm truly so grateful for you."
Your gentle words got to him this time and he sighed, feeling the knot that formed in his chest slowly untangle.
"I'm glad then, sweetie" he added, kissing you briefly on the lips. "I'll keep giving you my best, I promise. I'm never gonna give up on us."
"Oh I know darling but don't worry" you said sweetly, leaning closer to kiss him again "You're already perfect"
𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓
I don't think he's surprised to find out you've been in toxic relationships; he knows how cruel people are at heart
still feels bad you had to go through toxic relationships
insists you tell him everything that bothered you about your exes and damn he realizes that he himself has many of those toxic traits👀
ofc he's not toxic to you but overall? he gaslights, manipulates and lies like it's his second nature so... yea. this discovery kinda hits hard
he does however try his best to be a better man for you, because he knows you deserve the best and he'll give you just that
Cold sweeps of rain poured down the tinted glass windows as you and your partner quietly sipped on a glass of red wine. It was a rare occurance to see Fyodor drink - he considered drinking to be immoral, a mere vice for lowly humans- but he did indulge you from time to time. It helped him let loose and gave him the courage to ask or do things he wouldn't normally do.
"So, myshka" he began, glossy gaze darting from your eyes to your lips "Tell me about that ex of yours. What was his name... Haruki?"
A lighthearted chuckled rolled off your lips. "Yea, Haruki. Well... He wasn't the best really. Looking back I'm not really sure why I stayed with him for so long."
"How comes?"
"Well..." you said sheepishly, thumb sliding along the brim of your glass "At first he was really nice: always bringing me flowers and taking me on dates. But when we grew accustomed to each other he changed quite a lot. He became avoidant. Whenever I'd bring up an issue I had he'd just dismiss it."
You took a short break and exhaled deeply before continuing your story.
"At some point I asked him why he didn't spend as much time with me and why he stopped putting effort in our relationship and he simply said that I was overreacting and it wasn't at all like that. I guess... for a long while I settled for the bare minimun with him. And then for even less."
"He started gaslighting me all the time and I hated it, but I couldn't bring myself to leave because I still cared about him. And I hoped that deep down he was still the same lovely boy I fell for. But I guess it was hopeless..."
Fyodor listened to every word you said, violet eyes fixated on your features. He searched for any sign of hatred or resentment, but no, you talked about your ex so nonchalantly.
"And how do you think this relationship affected you?" he asked eventually
"I guess... I know my worth now. I won't accept that type of behaviour from anyone now. Although I don't think I'll face these problems with you. You're an amazing boyfriend" you said sweetly, a smile rising to your wine stained lips.
Despite your positive attitude, Fyodor's mind was haunted by dark thoughts. It may have been the effect of the alcohol, but for the first time in a long while he reflected upon himself:
He was a first class terrorist who has killed multiple men with his bare hands, who has deceived and manipulated countless of people without feeling any remorse.
And yet... you thought he was a good man; although you were aware of his crimes. The faith you had in him was like a punch to the gut, a reminder that he had to truly be good for you.
"Myshka" he said softly, setting his half empty glass on the floor before gently taking your hand in his, cold fingers holding tightly on your own. "You know I would never dare to do such a thing to you. I love you too much. And I know I'm not a good man for I have sinned more than anyone else, but I will always treat you right because you deserve the best."
"I know love" you chuckled, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I don't doubt you."
Your words swirled around his foggy mind as he smiled gently and leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.
"I know" he replied before nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. "Thanks for that"
"Of course" you said back as wrapped your arms around his lanky frame, feeling him relax in your embrace.
You relished this affectionate moment, the way he just let go and allowed himself to be soft for you and once again, were grateful for your boyfriend's low alcohol tolerance.
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deluluzai · 5 months
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OK wait so Kunikida is 22? OK but wasn't he a TEACHER beFORE he got a job a the agency??
And wasn't he already at the agency when Dazai joined at 20, being the same age as him??
So when the fuck was he a teacher???? 19???!
I'd be fucking sure I wouldn't listen to a 19 year old teaching me algebra no wonder kunikida is so stressed
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djbeatz · 2 years
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Kunikida and Puns
Let’s just establish something, Kunikida hates puns.
They are the most abominate thing to him, they are the bane of his existence, he just hates them. They are also the only thing that can make him abandon his schedule. If you say one too many too close together, he will just leave the office and he won’t come back.
Now he thought the combination of puns and Dazai was the most horrifying thing in the world. No, it was the combination of puns, Dazai and the rest of the ADA.
For the first time in his life, Kunikida requested a week off. The president had no complaints, because he had wished for a long time that Kunikida would take a break. He got that wish, albeit in a strange way.
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etrevil · 3 months
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There's a wild world existing in the BSD Staff Book, like Dazai's just welcoming the DOA into the office and the trio looks at home 🤣
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neo--queen--serenity · 4 months
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Rewatching this series has allowed me to notice the quite frankly hilarious exchange between Kunikida & Jun’ichirou during Atsushi’s entrance exam.
Jun’ichirou is trying to act tough with threatening Kunikida until he—out of nowhere, says this shit:
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And Kunikida, understandably, is like excuse me??
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Now, you can see the exact moment Jun’ichirou realizes he fucked up. Idk how much improv experience Tanizaki has, but I doubt he intended to make his demand that kinky, and it shows.
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But it’s too late to change his bad boy act now, so he doubles down.
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At this point, you can tell Kunikida takes a moment to lower his blood pressure, before he just resigns with a “this may as well happen” sort of face.
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Like IMAGINE. You tell your colleague to pretend to be a psycho bomber and he asks you to do THIS shit??? Like Tanizaki do you have something you wanna share with the class?
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You gotta hand it to Kunikida for keeping a straight face the whole time though, goddamn. He may be a tightass, but he committed to that role.
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kunikida: these are my fellow agents from the ada
client: oh um
kunikida: oh and this is akutagawa
client: is... is he not an agent
kunikida: no
client: is he like... an intern? or in training?
kunikida: no
client: respectfully then, why is he here?
kunikida: if u want to separate him from atsushi, you can try
akutagawa: i am here as coincidence. to imply that i'm here for the JINKO-
atsushi: let go of my hand then
akutagawa:
akutagawa: i refuse
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mackerel22 · 5 months
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Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?
Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.
Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.
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sad-emo-dip-dye · 7 months
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Truly one of my favorite wan moments
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microwaveango · 1 month
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shhhhhhh don't wake him, it took days of writing other people's reports to get him to take a nap. unwillingly. but shh.
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I have some old rough BSD sketches I just rediscovered. Thought I'd share them because they're fun and silly.
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nihilo-sensei · 4 months
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BSD Head-Canon: Never Volunteer to Drive Atsushi and Akutagawa Anywhere
I like the idea of SSKK, neither of whom can drive, getting a mission that's too far to walk even with their powers but also too far from a train station, so Kunikida has to drive them there while they bicker in the back seat. Everyone else who can drive refused because by now the arguments (and sexual tension) between the two have become legendary in both the ADA and the Port Mafia. Chuuya vowed never to drive them again after they argued for three hours straight on the way to a job. (They slept on the way back; Atsushi's head was resting on Aku's shoulder and Aku's head was resting on Atsu's. Chuuya definitely took a picture. Of course he texted it to Dazai. Why yes, it would make good blackmail material.)
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mncxbe · 8 months
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Platonic Dazai x younger sister! Reader who's sassy
Oh yes this is so sweet I cannot. He would defo be such a sweet/ annoying brother tho. Also this takes place after the Ada finds out that Dazai worked with the Mafia. Enjoy♡♡
°☆○
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡/ Kunikida's pov to enhance the silly
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Kunikida entered the office that Monday morning only to find everyone gathered in a big circle around the couch.
"What the...?" he mumbled to himself as he approached his colleagues, half hoping that Dazai didn't have anything to do with whatever was going on.
But of course he did. The young detective brought you, his little sister, to work with him.
"Isn't she absolutely adorable?" cooed Dazai as he pinched your cheek, causing you to frown.
"What am I, twelve?" you replied in an annoyed voice, rolling your eyes.
Kunikida stopped right next to Dazai, shooting him a death glare.
"I wasn't aware it was 'bring your little sibling at work day', Dazai"
"Aww Kunikida san but she asked me to take her with me. She wanted to see you." he said with a wicked smile.
"I never said that, flat ass" you snapped, a pink blush tinting your cheeks. "I just need help with my Maths homework that's all."
"But I could've helped you"
"As if. You didn't even go to school" you said with a provoking smirk but your brother didn't reply, instead turning to Kunikida.
"So can you help her? I'd be most grateful"
Kunikida looked at you for a brief moment. You looked almost like Dazai: the same wavy chestnut hair and brown eyes, but you were a bit thinner and shorter and your arms weren't covered up by bandages.
"Sure. I guess I could. I have a small window in my schedule and-"
"See little one?" chimed Dazai in as he ruffled your hair "Told you he'd help"
"I'm 17, flat ass. I'm not little anymore" you cried out, causing Ranpo to chuckle.
"Hey my ass is not flat" said your brother in the same tone as yours.
"I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong"
"Wow she's a feisty one" spoke Yosano between chuckles "I like her."
Dazai's eyes narrowed playfully upon hearing your remark "Very well then, so be it. If you think you're such a big girl why don't you recite the 26th page of your diary? It's about your crush on-"
All the blood in your face drained when you heard your brother talk and you quickly jumped off the couch, covering his mouth with your hands.
"You wouldn't dare."
He smirked, removing your quivering fingers "Oh I would"
"Then I'll hide your bandages"
"Then I'll take your laptop for a day" he said back
"I'll pour soy sauce in your shoes and wet all your socks every morning" you pressed, a glimmer of mischief in your eyes.
"Then I'll tell your Physics teacher about how you cheated on your finals last year."
Your face contorted in a pained expression but you still wouldn't back away. "Then... I'll invite you know who (us, the readers, know it's Chuya👀) to dinner at our place."
Your brother opened his mouth to say something but then immediately closed it, a smile rising to his lips. "Alright smart ass, you won. Now go at my desk and do your homework ok?"
With a proud smirk on your face you nodded, taking your tote bag from the couch and languidly making your way to his desk. You opened your English books, turned on your headphones and began working on your assignments; from time to time, you tapped the sleeve of your mechanical pencil in the rhythm of the song you were listening to.
The others went on with their duties too, leaving only Dazai and Kunikida next to the couch.
"She sure is a lot like you, Dazai." said the latter as he arranged his glasses.
"Well, what can I say." replied Dazai. "I tried to keep her away from the Port Mafia as much as I could, you know. To actually give her a chance in life but I guess she did end up a lot like me in some ways." He sighed "I'm really proud of her tho."
Kunikida only chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You know, maybe that's not a bad thing. That's she a lot like you. Plus, despite you she's hardworking."
"Aww Kunukida san did you just compliment me?" With that, Dazai was back to his normal self and the other man frowned, turning on his heels and marching towards his desk.
"I'll help her later with the homework. Go take care of your missions now"
"Suuure Kunikida san" added the brunette. His eyes slid to you again; you'd already written half a page. When you looked up to meet his gaze, you mouthed a silent "What, flat ass?", which made him chuckle. Waving you off, he walked towards the door, his heart swelling with pride and love for you. Dazai never had much of a family, but he sure was happy that you wound up being his little sister.
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Just heard an advertisement on the radio about a detective agency (reminded of the ADA)
Anyway, there was a part where it said something like "our employees are high quality bodyguards with a lot of experience, they will ensure your protection and security"
I imagined the camera panning out to dazai, on the background is footage of his past crimes... i mean, experience
Then it goes to kenji while he's swinging around a stop sign
Then to the tanizaki siblings... To whatever it is they're doing
Then the advertisement said "we have high quality technology to ensure your safety"
Camera pans out to katai, in his futon, starting at screens, kunikida scolding him
The closing remark is just ranpo saying their motto with a mouthful of candies while a distant sound of chainsaw and cackling can be heard
Then it ends with atsushi staring, confused, kinda horrified at the ad he just saw
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lotus-pear · 4 months
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cant believe there are kunikida and kunidazai haters in the world . disgusting .
REALLLLLLL BITCHES FORGETTING THEIR ROOTS💔💔💔 … U ARE FUCKING LYING TO ME IF KNKDZ WASNT UR FIRST BSD SHIP IDGAF IF IT WAS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC I KNOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U SHIPPED THEM OR FOUND THEIR DYNAMIC FUNNY…..REMEMBER UR ROOTS GIRLIES…..OR I’LL HELP YOU REMEMBER 👹👹👹👹👹
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