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effiecalvin · 4 years

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Purchase from Amazon Purchase from Somewhere Else (tons of options, including Audible, Kobo, Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, and Apple Books) There’s no spoilers on these slides; all the information in them is basically same stuff you’d read on the back cover/product blurb.

I’m trying to earn a bit of extra money because I had some huge vet bills hit me last month, and it’s looking like my old lady cat is gonna have to be on a specialized diet for the rest of her life (she was already on one, but this new one is gonna be even more expensive). Reblogs are appreciated!

Full image descriptions can be found behind the read more cut.

Thank you to @bisexualbaker for help with the slide descriptions. Slide one: I think you should buy these books (but I am the author so take that with a grain of salt) [Images: Covers of the first four books of Tales of Inthya: The Queen of Ieflaria, Daughter of the Sun, The Queen of Rhodia, The Empress of Xytae.] Slide two: Ok so wait what is going on here? * This is a series of books that you can read with your eyeballs! * There’s also audiobooks of the first two so I guess you can also read it with your earballs! * I don’t know how anatomy works * I majored in English * We’re getting off topic * Every book in this series is a high fantasy romance centered around a f/f couple. Slide three: Book 1: The Queen of Ieflaria * Princess Esofi is engaged to marry Prince Dead Guy. * I dunno why his parents named him that? * Anyway he dies. * But it turns out this is a queernormative setting, so Esofi can just marry Prince Dead Guy’s sister! * Except Adale is all, “I can’t marry you, I’m a mess!” * And Esofi is like, “Yeah I agree, you are a mess.” * But then they both realize Adale is actually cool and smart and cares a lot about people. * Also there are dragons. [Image: Book cover of The Queen of Ieflaria] Slide four: Book 2: Daughter of the Sun * Orsina is a Lawful Good paladin on a Quest. What is her Quest? She doesn’t know. * This lack of information is slowing her down substantially. * Aelia is a minor chaos goddess who has zero worshippers and almost no magic. * Orsina vanquishes Aelia for being Evil. * Or at least for being A Huge Jerk. * But Aelia is not really vanquished and they run into each other again. But Orsina doesn’t recognize her. * They’re gonna fall in love!!! [Image: Cover of Daughter of the Sun] Slide five: Book 3: The Queen of Rhodia * Esofi’s terrible mother gets a copy of book 1 and reads it and is like, “I don’t think so!” and sails to Ieflaria to make a nuisance of herself. * She’s not homophobic or anything. We don’t do that here. * She’s just jealous because Esofi is being favored by their patron goddess. * Orsina and Aelia show up too! * It’s like a crossover. Except they were always in the same setting. But now they’re in the same room. * Also there are even more dragons. [Image: Cover of The Queen of Rhodia] Slide six: Book 4: The Empress of Xytae * Crown Princess Ioanna of Xytae is having a bad time because the national sport in her country is Being A Huge Jerk. * Meanwhile, Princess Vitaliya of Vesolda is having a bad time because her dad is getting remarried. * The princess:everyone else ratio on this planet is a little skewed. * Ioanna’s dad dies and her sister is like, “You can’t be empress if you don’t like * Being A Huge Jerk!” * And everyone clapped. * So now Ioanna has to win the support of her people and get coronated and kiss Vitaliya. [Image: Cover of The Empress of Xytae] Slide seven: Book 5: Daughter of the Moon * This book isn’t getting published until late 2020. But I can tell you a little bit about it. * Princess Netheia, Ioanna’s younger sister, has been found guilty of Being A Huge Jerk. * And exiled to Ieflaria. * She meets Klavida, whose hobbies are studying obscure magic and not wanting anything to do with Netheia. * Klavida’s disdain for Netheia’s behavior sort of makes Netheia want to become a better person. * Unfortunately she has an evil goddess screaming in her brain. [Image: A blue rectangle; text on it reads, "Sorry I do not have the cover art yet; please enjoy this delightful rectangle instead!"] Slide eight: Other miscellaneous facts * Each book is dedicated to a different cat in my life. * My naming choices are bizarre and my audiobook reader deserves an award of some sort for tolerating my nonsense. * The books are all standalones with no cliffhangers or anything but they also weave together like a beautiful tapestry or maybe a plate of spaghetti that eventually leads to a meatball or marriage. * “TWO PRINCESSES CAN’T GET MARRIED BC THEY NEED HEIRS!” The whole thing is explained in the first few pages of book 1. You don’t even need to buy it to see. It’s in the free preview. * CONCLUSION: It would be neat if you bought these books because I am poor and depressed and I’d like to be rich and depressed, ideally.

#effie attempts to sell you a book

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insomniac-needs-a-fucking-nap · 5 years

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Me:I want to make a new story

Other person (irl):But you can't write very well

Me:Ok how do I write better?

Other person (irl):write the main character male, or add romance

Me:But I don't know about being male, or how one thinks, nor do I have someone I can ask about it. I also don't know shit about romance, yeah I read it but I have no experience with it.

Other person (irl):Well then you will never be a good writer

Me:Well I'll just post it online

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:*post on wattpad* ok I can get some criticism on here since most everyone writes

Wattpad user A:It's not really good

Me:Oh sorry to hear that. What don't you like about it?

User A: it's just really bad in my opinion

Me:Ok how how can I make it better?

A:Well try putting romance in it, or make the main character happier or just less depressing and scared of her own shadow most of the time

Me:But I don't know how to write romance, and she's based on my fear, anxiety, depression, and all the dark stuff people tell you to hide

A:Well I don't know how else to help, sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:*post on tumblr* ok people will like it on here, I hope

Chapter 1: 9 notes

Me:Cool most of those are reblogs! Right?

Chapter 1:Lol nope, 6 likes and 3 reblogs

Me:Well chapter 2 you have to be at least a little better than 3/1 ratio

Chapter 2:Lol funny you say that

Me:What do you mean?

Chapter 2:4 notes-

Me:Please be a 1/1 ratio!

Chapter 2:3 likes 1 reblog

Me:Chapter 3 how are you doing?

Chapter 3:Sorry dear only 3 notes. At least it's a 2/1 ratio....*quietly* literally

Me:Do I even want to know about how you are fairing chapter 4?

Chapter 4: I'm doin' the same as 2

Me:.......well chapter 5, let's see if we can't get some help from a writer I look up to on here

A month or so later; Chapter 5:Ok we have gotten help. Can you continue to work on making me? Please?

Me:But what if no one reblogs you?

Chapter 5:But if I don't get posted I will never get a reblog

Me:Maybe later when I'm not as stressed out from school, and have my creative passion for you all back

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Situation 1 happens 19 out if 20 times when I ask someone to help with my stories irl

Situation 2 a PM just last week

Situation 3 whenever I see the like to reblog ratio on any chapter, and the thoughts I have with Chapter 5

I don't know what to do, I need some advice please I'm begging

I want to keep writing but what's the point if no one sees it? I write not only as a release but also because I want to make something people can enjoy

#i don't know what to do anymore?#what else can i do #what else can i try?

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regrettablewritings · 7 years

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So . . . I need to say some stuff

As anyone who knows me or has held certain kinds of conversations with me could tell you that I am the absolute worst at confrontation. Even if it’s in regards to something more positive. However, as this post is about something rather negative, it will be harder for me to express exactly what I mean without feeling like I’m coming off as an ungrateful or bitchy. However, as this is an apparent concern for many content creators on this site, I don’t think it’s fair to assume I am.

Please allow me to word-vomit an explanation:

Communication aka I’m a Talking Human Being:

Before I started this blog, I had a tendency to send headcanons and AUs to other blogs through anon. In fact, I still do this quite often, and usually to great effect both on the blog-runner’s part and their followers. One day, I got brave enough to submit a soulmate AU drabble set to a Tumblr user who is no longer on this site and a few people asked for more so, after speaking with said Tumblr user, I was encouraged to start Regrettablewritings. Now in my bio, I refer to this place as a “dumping ground” for my pieces. That isn’t just there out of self-deprecation: This was literally just meant to be a place where I put my stuff. All the ideas I had, the headcanons, the one-shots, etc. I never once indicated that this was a place that took requests.

But I should’ve known it’d happen and for that I will take responsibility for not suggesting otherwise. I was never truly set on the idea of doing requests at all because I’ve seen the stuff that people send in by the droves and there was no way I would be able to keep up or provide what was desired and at top quality. However, I feared that completely avoiding or turning down the ones that inevitably came in would result in issues. Blame my paranoia.

I’m still not entirely sure as to what to do with the requests I get. Some, I will admit, I do fulfill. But for the most part, I don’t always feel up to it. Especially considering that I have, by no exaggeration, nearly 20 ideas already stockpiled. Of these pieces, some have been in the works since I started this blog and I’m always trying to figure out which ones to focus on the most so I go, “Hey, I got this, this, and that. Which ones do you wanna see?” And you know what I always get? Nothing. Nobody says what they want from the list. So I sigh, delete the post after having it up for a week, and do whatever I can when the motivation hits me.

Not long after, however, I start getting entirely different requests. Always. I know it’s not intended, but the idea I can’t help but get is that my original content isn’t exactly what anyone is looking for no matter how much work I’m determined to put into it.

I reblog ask memes because maybe if I prove that I’m human behind the screen or showcase that “witty personality” my real life friends keep talking about, maybe it’ll prove that I’m approachable. If I’m lucky one person will message me and I have to stop myself from begging them to please ask more, lest I look desperate.

So then I figured if I reached out to the nearly 400 followers I currently have and tried to connect with them, then maybe there’d be more luck in the realm of communication. But when I tried Sleepover Saturday, only two people “showed up.” And they weren’t even the people who liked the post where I asked if anyone would do it, or the people who told me to go on ahead and do it. So that was the end of that.

For months, I’ve debating bringing up this issue. I didn’t want to look like a snooty bitch, but I also wanted to express how I felt about the situation. I may write to express myself, but I also write and in the way I do to entertain. In real life, I am very cynical and bitter and a bit of a crybaby with a bottled up temper. But the truth of the matter is, I love making people laugh and feel better. The world is already so full of shit; I just want to put a little goodness into somebody else’s day, even if it’s a weirdass fic about everyone’s favorite Cuban lawyer having a past as an adult dancer or whatever. So when it feels like I’m only needed when you want something, and then shelved until then, it doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel like the ideas I want to give you aren’t good enough. I know the notes may suggest otherwise, but we’re gonna put a pin in that for a quick second.

The feeling of discouragement often effects my willingness to write. I’ll still do it because, in truth, writing is one of the only things I can do reasonably well. But what’s the point in doing something well if you feel like you’re being taken for granted for it?

I ask you guys for your opinions and feelings on things because I genuinely need to know. I function by playing around with options. Any friend of mine, in real life or online, will tell you that if I’m working on a project (be it painting, fanfiction, or essay), I will throw my ideas out there or ask you for your thoughts on the matter. For fuck’s sake, I’ve heckled @xemopeachx and @ohbelieveyoume about cologne suggestions for one sentence in a piece I’ve been working on! That is how thorough I tend to be about the weirdest shit. But I also do it because I feel you guys deserve that kind of effort. I need a lot of things explained to me in depth to know how they work, so I make it an effort to use that as a means to help others see exactly what I do. I’m already hard to comprehend in real life. Please don’t let me think this effort is for nothing.

Summary: I work hard to give content but never hear anything back in terms of what you would like to see next. But when this happens, it’s like I’m posting from the void and nobody can see it. However, suddenly people are willing to fall into the void if only to make a request. I try to reach out and be more friendly, but even those are disregarded. I don’t know what to do.

Notes: Regarding Likes, Reblogs, and Messaging:

This is something that a lot of content creators talk about. If you’ve seen a post about always reblogging art, chances are you’ve seen a comment saying something like, “Same goes for fanfic writers.” This isn’t riding on coattails or anything, this is some real mess. And, on top of that, there’s an extended difference between art feedback and writing feedback. Because with artists, exposure for them can lead to commissions. Writers? We do this for free. However, this doesn’t make feedback any less deserving.

I’m not trying to complain here, but nobody writes 7-21 pages worth of content to get 100+ notes where only about 12 of them are reblogs. Now I, as well as many others, will give leeway: There is a definite stigma against people who read fanfiction and they may not want it on their blog. I get that. A lot of writers do. But when the reblog to total note ratio is 12/115, 14/192, and 13/207, things get . . . disheartening.

Because guys? Writing is HARD. I know you may see this statement all the time, but that's only because it's true: You have to remember all these words so you don't sound repetitive, you have to paint a clear enough picture without sound prose-y, you have to somehow translate exactly what the image in your head is and pray you don't lose people along the way, you have to SOMEHOW get from Point A to Point C when Point B is either exceedingly blurry or even nonexistent. And, perhaps the hardest of all, YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED! It takes so much energy and focus just to write one page, especially if you have a hectic life going on beyond the screen. And guess what? A lot of, if not, all writers do!

For example: For the first two and a half months of running this blog, I wrote on my phone for most of the time because I didn't have a laptop and the only times I could use the computer lab in my dorm was when others were done with their work. (To gain a better idea of how vexing this can be, please note that A Practice in Happy Memories was written on my phone and that bitch is 6 pages in Word. Try doing that and see how tired of it you get.) And I’m one of the lucky ones: You’ve got people going through some rough stuff in their lives, people raising families while holding down a job, coming on this hell site to write and share their thoughts and ideas. I’m just some 22 year-old black chick with seasonal depression and increasingly crippling social anxiety and an aggressively negative view of the world!

Forgive me for sounding cocky, but I would like to think I deserve better than, like, 8 reblogs on a 60-noted something I literally tapped to life in-between homework and depression naps. Really, though, every writer who’s had to do this deserves better. The amount of talented writers who bust out quality content in spite of broken technology or, you know, having a life outside of the computer yet don’t get treated with utmost appreciation is unreal.

I’m not trying to shame people here, but if you can’t reblog, then reply. Or send a message. Even if it’s on anonymous. Trust me: You message a writer saying you love their crap, you will make their day and they will treasure that thing and look back on it when they feel like crap. For those of you that do reblog, please tag it. It literally only takes a few seconds. As @locke-writes put it in his own post about similar issues, writers really want/need to know what you thought. A like is equivalent to a quick nod and distant pat on the back. A reblog without a tag is a bit better, but still doesn’t get across exactly how you felt, what we did right, etc. A reblog with comments, even in the tags? Makes our fucking day!

Likes? They’re literally just the person who walks by your free sample booth, takes the sample, and doesn’t even acknowledge your existence.

I know I should feel grateful that I have as many notes as I do at all. However, a ridiculous amount tend to come from people who 1) don’t even follow me, and 2) they’re just likes. I have nearly 400 followers already and the same small handful only ever add into the notes. And even fewer actually comment or anything.

This is a common issue for a lot of writers: We just want to be seen as more than just story-making machines. We desire validation for the time and acknowledgement for the effort we put into something we feel we’re skilled at. But a lot of people may feel uncomfortable talking about it in fear of seeming ungrateful or anything but this feeling just drives them closer to wanting to quit writing altogether.

I’m not quitting Tumblr. At least, not anytime soon. But I still need you guys to know this because it’s been boiling up inside me and it’s driving me nuts. Anyway, I’m sorry if I came off as bitchy here as that wasn’t my intention. My intention was to give you a look into some part of the mind that a lot of writers have. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Summary: Reblogs > Likes. Reblogs with comments and tags ∞ > Likes. And if you can’t reblog, reply or send a message. Your content creator worked to make that piece come to fruition and they deserve to know how they did. They’re not being paid for it despite the amount of time and energy they gave for it, so payment in the form of feedback is the least that they could be given.

In short: Appreciate your fanfic writers. Let them know what you think because every little compliment sticks with them.

#long post #rant #appreciate your writers #fanfic writer problems #i just needed to say this #word vomit

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kane-and-griffin · 7 years

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I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.

Oh, my precious Kabby babies. Circle up, it’s time for some firm butgentle life advice from Mom.

First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (whichI’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sensethe short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer thisquestion. You’re asking me to tell youwhy a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and forwhich there could be a thousand reasons. So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.

However.

(You knew there was going to be a however.)

Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also aworld where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we havethe full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it tobe. The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t followback; it feels on some level like a personalrejection. But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you. You have the rightto post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to seeit. Both of those rights are equal, eventhough you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s insome way “wrong.”

I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship withthese people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and theyblocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with themdirectly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that theremay be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario. It’s fully possible forboth of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:

1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that astranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your socialmedia sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,

and

2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makesme feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it isexactly what I want and need it to be.”

They don’t need to have a reason. That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality. One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have toface - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel reallyicky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain - is this:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incrediblyimportant, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, thisgets through:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, justbecause you want one. The people you tag in meta don’t owe you rebloggingit to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you wantto prove you’re right. The fans of the fic you write for your mostpopular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on yourrare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it. Nobody owes you a certainnumber of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them,nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it whenthey feel like reading it. We owe each other one thing and one thingonly: basic human decency. That’s it. Everything else is freelyoffered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it. It’snot a transactional exchange. If you make art or write fic and you put itout there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets tenhits or thousands it was still worth doing. There will be people whoaren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it willparalyze you.

Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable. It’s an extension of ourselves. When someone is cruel to you or to one ofyour friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feelsshitty. When you express an opinionabout something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YESTHISSSSS”, it feels great. We all experiencethat in different ways. Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women tolive up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by thecool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “didyou get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”. So ona primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep coreplace as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party. That feeling is super real! It brings upalllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re aboveexperiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that justneed the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.

I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she wasgiving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which likethe majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negativeones like memorized. And she was like “CLAIRE. WHAT THE HELL. WHY DO YOU DO THIS? 58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLEONE. TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEMVERBATIM. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.” And I was like “… . okay fine when youput it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.” So like my advice to you – advice which I havejust proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have justeroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probablyhave a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a badcollective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested inwhat you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people andit’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.

My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having thesetwo people block you on social media? Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “Ifeel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life? You might be surprised. It might be zero. In which case, let yourself feel thosefeelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move onand keep on doin’ you.

I’m pushing backon you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, likeyou’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person whoblocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made wasabout you and not about them. That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated. Be really, really, really carefulabout deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s abitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling atthe thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’tcome to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her toleave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazyand too much for her brain to handle right now. Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists. The internet makes this so easy, the internetconditions us for this, and itconditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like,make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them andthey’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turnsthis into a situation that really doeshave a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to makeyou feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their listdown for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalateyou can’t put the horse back in the barn. It’s too late. Now it’s A Thing,when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing. And in almost all situations for almost allpeople in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please thinkcarefully before you make this A Thing.”

This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about theconversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social mediapermeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize formy verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in KabbyMom’s Advice Corner. But I will sum upin bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up tospeed:

Everyone has the right to curate their own social media spacehowever they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.

They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want themto.

None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a signthat you should stop being you on the internet.

Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feelthem, as long as

You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyzeyou, and finally

You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as ajustification for treating them like crap.

Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends,creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic,opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social mediaworld will be a better place.

In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people thinkof me is none of my business.”

#Anonymous #From the Inbox #kabby mom's advice corner #kabby mom gets anons #Social media #fandom #advice

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