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#personally i have always associated her with nature but i can see her being a water person too
tvrningout-a · 6 months
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macabr3-barbi3 · 1 month
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a little messy, a little brutal (Vox/Reader)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54917902
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Vox is not subtle about the things he considers to be 'his.' (Inspired by Yandere by Jazmin Bean ❤️🩵)
Tags: Yandere; Obsessive Vox; possessive Vox; Possessive Sex; Homicide? Minor Character Death; Minor Violence; Couch Sex; Cunnilingus
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You can already imagine the twitch of Vox’s hypnotic eye as a demon approaches you in the dark corner of the club you had taken up. You had specifically chosen a section of the club that was not well-illuminated and out of the way precisely to avoid having to talk to anyone else until your friend arrived and yet, here you were. Preparing to fend off the advances of some lowlife sinner while your patience for public outings like this dwindled ever lower.
Velvette had invited you out with the other Vees and they were all running late- some tantrum that Valentino was throwing, no doubt, since that usually seemed to be the cause for any hold ups involving them. 
You almost feel sorry for the lizard demon slinking his way over to you, beady eyes bright and interested as he watches where you’re perched on a table. Since you had started hanging out with Velvette (and by association, Vox and sometimes Valentino), demons that took an unreciprocated or unwelcome interest in you ended up not being around any longer- whether that meant dead or moved to another department was none of your business. All of the Vees denied any involvement with these disappearances, naturally, and Val was the only one that you really believed, but Vox was… not subtle about it. At all. A word of insult or unsolicited advance directed to you and he would step out of the room with an arm around the offending party, coming back a few minutes later alone, his hands shoved into his pockets, his red eye twitching in annoyance before he fixed his stare on you for the rest of the evening or whatever amount of time you remained in his presence. 
The twitch was cute. When you hung out in Vel’s studio and her models came over to talk to you, you could almost feel the intensity of his expression glitching out across the room. If you initiated conversation or didn’t seem offended or put out by the person he would leave them alone- it was only once they became disrespectful that he or Velvette would take matters over. No one ever put their hands on you, so a little teasing directed at the TV demon was entertaining. And seeing Vox get all flustered and twitchy because you were talking to someone was always a fun time, even if he wouldn’t make a move.
The lizard reaches you and immediately slides his scaly tail around your calf, the sensation sending a grimace onto your face. “What’sss a pretty gal like you doin’ lurking in the darknesssss?”
“Waiting for my friends. Please don’t touch me.” When his tail doesn’t remove itself you reach down and unravel it manually, not missing the way that his eyes dart to the vee of your neckline when you do so.
“Sssurely you can be convinced to sspend time with… ssssomeone elssse.” He leers at you suggestively.
“Look, buddy,” you say, not sure when the Vees would be arriving but knowing that it would be some time soon- and that not one of them would appreciate this demon’s hands on you. Not that you did either. “I’m trying to do you a favor. My friends? You don’t wanna be here when they get here.”
He slides a clawed hand around your waist, tall enough with your position on the table to be able to accomplish such a move. It feels slimy and uncomfortable even through the shirt you wear. “So let’ssss leave before they come, baby.” His other hand comes to rest on your thigh, sharp nails poking through the fabric of your jeans. “I can sssshow you a good time.”
You wouldn’t even need to wait for Vox to get here to do something drastic. You shove the lizard back, his claws leaving jagged tears in your bottoms from the force he had gripped you. Hopping off the table, you push him again. “Back the fuck off,” you snarl at him, and rather than taking the hint and fucking off to literally anywhere else, he doubles down. 
He crowds you back against the table, the harsh edge of it digging into your back as he grabs your shoulders. “Playin’ hard to get, huh?” The smile he gives you is nasty and mean. “Ssssure, doll, we can play it that way.” His forked tongue snakes out and flicks against the column of your throat, and the feeling makes bile rise.
You bare your teeth, sharp fangs glinting in the little amount of light that reaches the corner you’re in. He’s leaning in and you flash your claws, ready to get yourself kicked out of this club if you have to defend yourself when there’s a spray of warm liquid across your chest, the shock of it making you freeze with your hands clenched into fists.
The lizard has frozen as well, and a glance down reveals the source of the distraction. A claw tipped hand has found its way through the lizard’s chest, and once you’ve noticed it it retreats back into the cavity that it’s created. You look over the shoulder of the demon, who has now, thankfully, softened his grip on you, and meet Vox’s eyes.
As well as you can between the glitches that overtake his screen, anyway. His face is flashing in and out with error messages, red eye huge and swirling with the flow of his anger through his system, mouth set into a harsh sneer. An arch of electricity travels down his arm and the lizard seizes up, static sparking off his body as Vox electrocutes him from the inside. This is followed by smoke as something catches fire inside the demon, and Vox pulls his hand back, blood dripping from his fingers as Val tries to place a reassuring hand on his back, jerking away at the shock that strikes him. 
The lizard drops to the floor, a gently flaming mass that someone is already rushing over to extinguish, and Vox steps around his discarded body to wrap his hand entirely around your forearm, jerking you away from the table and into his chest, arms wrapping possessively around your body. He’s muttering into your scalp, screen so close that you can feel the static lifting your hair strands up, and Velvette is bitching at the club employee that’s come over to clear up the newly christened corpse. Valentino is watching Vox cling to you. “Easy, baby, she’s fine.” He reaches a hand out like he means to pat you on the head, and Vox’s head snaps back at him, teeth bared and snarling like a feral animal. Val jerks his hand back with his eyebrows raised. “Message received, hands off!” He goes to join Velvette in her berating, throwing Vox an annoyed look as he walks away.
Vox is silent for a moment, and you finally release the tension in your fists to place lightly on his back. You hadn’t expected anything like this- not so blatantly, anyway, in view of the hundreds of people in the club right now. Nothing had even really happened. “Hey, I’m really okay,” you say, and raise your head up to look at him. “I had the situation handled- you didn’t need to-”
“You call that h̨͚͚͖ͯ̒̄͗͞a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥd̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧd̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓?” His voice stutters out and he pulls back, his face desperate and angry as his eyes rove over your body. He notices the tiny cuts on your thighs from when you had shoved the lizard back and the blatant rage on his face is unlike anything you've seen before.
“It was under control,” you insist, and with a crackle of electricity you’ve moving- Vox has pulled you into the wiring of the club with him, manifesting in some back room and snarling “get the fuck out” to the couple of people that were already occupying it. They scram, and Vox slams the door shut behind them, clicking the lock with a turn of his claws before turning to face you again.
His entire frame is shaking as he watches you steady yourself from the fast travel, trying and failing to take a steadying breath. You grab a jacket from a nearby rack in an attempt to wipe some of the lizards blood from your chest. “I would like to make it c̨̨̣̮̝̈́̔ͯ̀͂ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟y͙͙̪̰ͫ͌́s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅt͖͖̠̬͛a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘ c̨̨̣̮̝̈́̔ͯ̀͂l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟.” he starts, the glitch in his voice more pronounced now that you are alone and out of the range of the thumping club music. “That no one is to touch you. E̢̢̻ͮͧͦ͋͞͡v̹̹̘̼̞̻͆ͩ̓ͪ͢ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟.”
“Vox, I’m fine-”
“That isn’t the question.” A spark of static and he’s standing in front of you now, a claw tipped finger tilting your head up to meet his gaze, drawn and angry- not at you, but at the position you had been in, the position he remedied. “The question is ‘do you understand me’ when I say that no one is to touch you.”
Your brow furrows, and you try to take a step back from him. “Jesus, what are you-”
“D̷̨̥̥̥͖̞͐ͮ̄o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ y͙͙̪̰ͫ͌́o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡ ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥd̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅt͖͖̠̬͛a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥd̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓?” Vox crowds into your space, the sudden rush of it making you drop into the couch behind you. He places a knee on the cushion next to you and leans in, arms coming up to bracket you against the cushions. Despite the lingering edge of fear at how he’s acting, it’s far more welcome than that lizard trying to box you in and corner you. “I will flash fry the floor of this shitty club to destroy anyone that even thinks about looking in your direction. And I would rip the heart out of every fucking demon in Pentagram City to ensure that no one ever lays a miserable, unworthy finger on you again.”
He traces his fingers over the cuts on your thighs, his breath shaky as he looks down at them. “I wish I could kill him again for this alone. To bring you pain in any context besides pleasure is ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥf̰̰̯͕͊̃̊͞͞͞o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟g̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟v̹̹̘̼̞̻͆ͩ̓ͪ͢a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎b͔͔̳͈̊̆ͥ͂͜͝l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧ.” His screen goes blank for a moment with the force of his rage.
And fuck, what does it say about you that the display before you has you dripping before he’s even touched you? The possessiveness of his actions alone the whole time you had known him had been enough to have you surreptitiously clenching your thighs together all the time, but the way he spoke now, like to disrespect you was blasphemy of the worst kind? If you didn’t leave this room fucked within an inch of your life then Vox was all talk, and you’d have to find somewhere else to hang with Velvette because there was no way you could look him in the eyes and not want to jump his bones again after this.
You reach a trembling hand out to grab one of his arms where he still has you boxed in under him. “I understand,” you say, answering his question finally. “I get it. No one touches me… but you?” You feel the tendons of his forearm flex with your words as he tenses, screen blinking back online as he gives you a smile.
“That’s right, doll. No one but me.” He trails a finger down your face, leaving behind a vague feeling of static. “Good girl- I didn’t even have to tell you and you know. You’re m̰̰̹͚̙̂ͦ͗͠i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧ.” Arousal settles heavily into your core, and you rest your face into the palm of his hand, eyelids fluttering shut. “You like the thought of that, huh? Belonging to me?”
“Fuck, yes,” you whisper, and there’s a crackle of electricity as he leans in, some kind of manifestation of lips meeting yours before a long tongue slips into your mouth, the resulting spark making you keen into the air of the silent room.
When he pulls back you chase him, managing to get a nip of teeth to his mouth before he’s out of reach. “Fuck me, baby, you taste divine- I knew you would, knew you’d be fucking perfect for me.” He slides off the couch to his knees, trailing his tongue along your skin the whole way and leaving pleasant tingling in its wake. He brings his eyes up to meet yours from his position now on the floor, red eye swirling slowly while he stares in rapture. His clawed fingers hook into the sides of your jeans and start to shimmy them down, his tongue darting out to flick over the cuts on your thighs when they’re revealed. “You’ll be good for me, right? Forever. You won’t let anyone else ever fucking t͖͖̠̬͛o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡c̨̨̣̮̝̈́̔ͯ̀͂h̨͚͚͖ͯ̒̄͗͞ y͙͙̪̰ͫ͌́o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡ again because you belong to me. I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries.” His eyes are wide and desperate when he finally gets your pants off your legs, bringing his hands up to rest on your thighs over the marks that the lizard had left. “You’ll never need anyone else. Let me show you, doll, how sweet I can be to you if you’re good for me.”
The whiny ‘yes’ has hardly left your lips before he’s running his tongue between your slick folds, angling his screen to get as close to your cunt as possible. He licks into you with the desperation of a man starved, the muscle- was it really a muscle if he was a TV? You’d have to ask him about that later- reaching depths inside of you that have never been touched, not by another person or your own fingers or toys. It feels like being electrocuted when he prods the tip of it against a sweet spot inside of you, and your hands fly down to clutch at his where they still rest on your thighs.
“That’s right, sweetheart,” you hear him say, despite the fact that his mouth is otherwise occupied. He must have speakers somewhere on his head that are allowing him to broadcast his thoughts, a stream of filth that makes your back arch and your walls to clench around him. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn sexy,” he says as he moans into your pussy. “I’ve always wanted you like this- every time you came over to see Velvette I wanted you stuffed with my cock.”
“Oh my god.” Your body is vibrating with tension, taut as a fucking drum with the way his tongue is playing you. “D-don’t talk with your mouth full,” you manage, and you can feel the sharp edges of his smile against your cunt. 
Vox slides a hand over your thighs to press a sharp tipped claw to the sensitive nub of your clit, your voice choking out of you in a wail as he makes it vibrate somehow, right where you need it. “Such a g̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞o͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞d̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓ g̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘, riding my mouth like this- I’ll give you my cock next, dollface, is that what you want?” He can’t hear you nod your head frantically so you claw at his fingers, gasping out an affirmative for him that he talks over with his tongue buried inside of you. “Come on, baby- cum on my tongue, let me have it.”
Angelic steel to the throat couldn’t have stopped you from obeying; you're pretty sure your soul leaves your body for a moment with the force of your orgasm, Vox keeping your legs spread with his shoulders to prevent you from clamping them down on his head as he sucks and licks you through your release, drinking it down with a savage smile that you can feel curled against you.
“So perfect, “ he says through his speakers, slicking his tongue through the mess between your thighs as he finally removes his head from between them, the flick of it to your clit making you jolt with sensitivity. “Beautiful, doll, you did so well.” Vox stands, drags your legs with him so you lay horizontally on the couch and he can crouch between them. He lets his belt hang undone from the loops of his trousers as he pulls his cock out and slots against your folds, bumping the head of it against your clit, sliding through the lingering wetness of your orgasm before angling enough that he can start to push into you. His claws dig into your hips, the ache of it making your head spin and distracting you from the slow and steady opening of your cunt to his length.
“Let me hear you, please; tell me you want it, baby, and it’s yours.” He can see your head nodding this time and interprets correctly, thrusting hard into the heat of you. Your hands come up to circle his back, feeling the flexing of his muscles under your fingers as he fucks into you. “I’ll give you anything. A̳̳̹̟̋ͣ͌ͅn̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥy͙͙̪̰ͫ͌́t͖͖̠̬͛h̨͚͚͖ͯ̒̄͗͞i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥg̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟. S-say the word,” he chokes out, the edges of his screen turning red as his system threatens to overload. “I’ll rip the underworld apart with my b͔͔̳͈̊̆ͥ͂͜͝a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧ f̰̰̯͕͊̃̊͞͞͞ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡c̨̨̣̮̝̈́̔ͯ̀͂k̼̼̞̦̞̼̔i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥg̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟ h̨͚͚͖ͯ̒̄͗͞a͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥd̶̵̯̯̼̘ͨ̓s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅ to keep your cunt full of me like you fucking d-deserve.” His hips stutter into yours, staccato bursts that make his pelvic bone rub against you in the most sinful way. “Fuck!”
“Please,” you groan, that coil of pressure tightening inside your core again. “Oh fuck, Vox-” You release your death grip on the couch cushions to try to get some fingers between your abdomens, to chase yourself over the edge of that second rapidly approaching orgasm, and one of Vox’s hands shoots down to snatch yours away. 
He pins it with a snarl to the back cushion of the couch. “You cum with my cock or nothing,” he growls, hypnotic eye doing its thing, and the edge to his voice has you hissing as he drills into you. “You can do that, can’t you sweetheart? Cum all pretty for me? I need to feel it, baby, s-show me you’re m̰̰̹͚̙̂ͦ͗͠i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥḛ̡̰̳͓ͬ͋ͪͧ.” He doesn’t falter in his rhythm, his hips snapping against yours, his screen going white moments after you catch a needy expression that you’re sure he didn’t mean to show you.
You don’t recognize the sound that escapes you when the cresting wave of pleasure crashes, your sharp nails digging harsh lines into Vox’s back as your entire body clenches and releases in time with his pulses into you, shoving his hips hard into you to make sure his cum is as far into your cunt as he can get it. He pants into the space above you, swallows your moans into his mouth as he finishes, releases your captive hand to trail his fingers reverently down your sides. 
“You’re so lovely,” he says when his screen comes back on. He rests it against your forehead, the glow of it so close to your eyes a bit painful but not enough to look away. His claws catch on the clotted over cuts on your thighs, and his eyes narrow. “When that slimy fucker regenerates I’m going to hunt him down and kill him again.”
“You really don’t need to do that,” you say with a soft chuckle, face twisting in discomfort as you reposition and you feel his release shift with you. “This was fantastic but I really did have it handled.”
A clawed hand cups your face. “You won’t have to handle anything like that on your own ever again, doll. I meant what I said- you’re mine. Everyone will know not to touch what’s mine.”
He helps you step back into your pants, offering an arm for support at how shaky your legs are after that frantic fucking. He guides you back out to the club through the door this time, running into someone dressed similarly to the employee that had to extinguish your crispy friend earlier. “Oh, Mister Vox! And your lovely friend- I so hope you enjoyed the use of our back room- it’s really an employee break room but that’s perfectly fine-” 
They keep talking, but you know Vox stopped listening the moment they placed a guiding hand on the small of your back. A glance back at him confirms this, along with the twitch of his red eye, static already sparking off his clenched fists.
Pros and cons to having such a powerful overlord obsessed with you- a con being that it was looking more and more likely you wouldn’t be allowed to come back to this club after tonight.  
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house-of-angst · 2 months
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Y'all mind if I talk about Present Mic's quirk for a second? Great.
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So, my partner and I have been having Erasermic brainrot lately, and while we were binging content with them, I became interested in Hizashi's voice quirk. I began searching stuff about how sound/volume works, and linking it to his canon stuff.
I'll just say, the info I found makes him a pretty scary guy. It's a shame he's so underused in both canon and fanon.
Frequency
First of all, I want to talk about something everyone knows about him: his quirk is potent enough to shatter glass. Now, when it comes to decibels, it's always important to consider the time and distance a certain note is held for, since these can impact the "hit" a certain sound wave can have when influenced by effects such as the air or vibrations.
(Please keep this in mind for the reminder of this post)
When it comes to glass, however, it breaks almost instantly under the pressure of his voice. Our most constant example of this is the man's poor lenses, but there is a scene I'd like to talk about the most, it being he one where he completely shatters Shigaraki's tank.
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One might argue that the glass was already weakened from Mirko's kicks, but that's honestly part of something that makes this so impressive to me; Mirko's legs are strong enough to straight-up rip a high-end Nomu's head clean off, yet this tank was tough enough to withstand two attacks from her - including her ultimate move - before starting to leak; and the fact she was heavily injured doesn't fly here, as we very clearly could see she wasn't holding back one bit.
Now, let's get technical.
According to Google, a normal tone of voice would be around 50 decibels, while the required to shatter glass would be a minimum of 105. For comparison, that's roughly the same volume as a jackhammer. Now, you might be thinking, "Oh, that's not so bad! Some singers can do that!" and you'd be right, but there's also some other things to consider. Allow me to explain.
Some singers can reach a pitch that can make glass vibrate enough for it to break, but I've personally only heard of this happening if the person has their mouth close to a smaller, empty cup, and even then the volume would be distributed around. Hizashi, on the other hand, was standing several feet away from this reinforced tank and was able to shatter it immediately, using the directional speaker around his neck to aim the volume. This would naturally require for him to hit even higher decibels, specially when you take into consideration that one's frequency must match the glass' for it to vibrate, which drastically increases when it's dampened. (Read next topic for more info on this)
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And then there's his glasses which, like I've stated before, are the most common thing he breaks with his voice. Obviously, this is not directed and it's not a total shatter, but there is something to be observed; say, did you know the necessary volume for lenses to crack, when not being directly aimed at, would be that of a nearby shot from a highcaliber gun? That's roughly 140-170 decibels.
Harm factor
Boy, oh boy! I'm betting most of you were looking for this part when you clicked the read more, right? Look no further, I've got you covered, you just better remember what I mentioned before about distance and duration.
Hizashi's parents were unfortunate enough to have a mutant child that was born with his quirk already active, and I'm willing to bet a newborn doesn't have the slightest bit of control over a power as destructive as a sonic-powered voice, which immediately resulted in everyone in the room bleeding from the ears.
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Sound-related ear bleeding is most commonly associated with a ruptured eardrum, which can happen at around 150 decibels and is about the same as a jet engine taking off. While a baby most likely unleashed his maximum voice power on the first breath, I believe something like that would, thankfully, only develop fully after puberty, just like with non-powered people like us, since his quirk is a drastic intensification of a common function and not a new ability altogether.
With that being said... The Finals Exam.
In this, Hizashi was standing very far and, even with the directional speakers, there were many obstacles in the way that kept him from landing direct soundwaves on the students. Regardless, Jirou's ears bled in less than 30 minutes being exposed to this.
This could have happened due to the fact that she has a hearing quirk, which would make hers much more sensitive, but let's study this, shall we? We don't have the exacts of what happened there, but the students are visibly uncomfortable upon the first soundwave, which would suggest it was at about 120 decibels upon impact (with 85 already being enough to cause damage to your ears) and being emitted even higher by him, considering distance muffles volume. Still, I think all that would be nothing compared to the scream he let out after those bugs started crawling on him, with how unfiltered that was.
With Jirou, it comes to no surprise this volume at this distance and time almost rendered her deaf, and realistically would take several months of healing time. How much do you want to bet Hizashi got a solid scolding from Shouta? I mean, it was supposed to be a challenge, but homeboy came this close to breaking her quirk.
Another thing I want to point out is that his voice is powerful enough to actually fucking launch people, and this only happens due to an event called acoustic trauma, basically meaning Hizashi can surpass supersonic levels. Although, it's important to note that this effect is caused mostly due to pressure and not so much as sound, so while it's not freakishly loud (about the same as thunder), it can still cause hearing and psychological damage.
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! WARNING !
The following part contains graphic mentions of injury, and death. Do not proceed if these are sensitive topics for you.
Now, we look at the disturbing side of Hizashi's quirk. Buckle in, because it's a wild ride.
Remember what I commented earlier, about him having to hit even higher frequencies to be able to shatter Shigaraki's tank? First of all, as the doctor was sent flying, this qualifies as supersonic, but that's not all. To shatter such a protected tank, with liquid inside increasing the density, he'd have to hit over 200 decibels; which is considered extremely dangerous and most definitely fatal, as the threshold of pain is of 115-140 - this can cause damage such as crushed ear bones, ruptured lungs, or embolism. For comparison, this would come close to standing right next to a Saturn V Moon Rocket during launch, and is no longer considered a "sound" due to the vacuum.
With that being said, the man came very close to dying by Hizashi's hands (voice?) twice. Not only was he so close during the lens incident, literally being inches away from his face and in risk of getting his eardrums ruptured already, but if Mic had decided to raise his voice even more during his rage, it'd be possible for the frequency to make the doctor's inner organs malfunction, or straight-up burst from the pressure.
But that's not the worst part.
After establishing that the lethal amount of over 200 decibels would be necessary to shatter the tank given the circumstances, if he exceeded 240 and the doctor happened to be in the way of this, it would be enough to cause his head to explode upon impact. That old man better be grateful that he was standing a feet few away, and that the supersonic blast blew him away a bit more, or it'd be an immediate game over.
With all this being said, how devastating would it be for this guy to scream his rage out?
(Please keep in mind that many of the extreme cases in this are actually impossible to happen in a real-life scenario and are purely speculation!)
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In 2017 I interviewed Bernadette Wren, then head of psychology at the Tavistock Gids clinic, and asked what effect puberty blocking drugs have on the adolescent brain. Looking highly uncomfortable, she replied that the evidence so far was only anecdotal but that the clinic would study its patients “well into their adult lives so that we can see”.
Even back then, before whistleblowers had exposed the rush to medically transition children, it was alarming to hear that heavy-duty GnRH agonists such as triptorelin — used to treat advanced prostate cancer and “chemically castrate” sex offenders — were being prescribed to arrest puberty in hundreds of children as young as 11.
Moreover, they were being used “off-label” before any clinical trials. And the long-term study Wren promised never materialised: Gids (the Gender Identity Development Service) routinely lost touch with patients, and the 44 it did follow reported little long-term mental health improvement.
This shocking chapter in medical history, where the ideological objectives of trans rights campaigners trumped the welfare of disturbed children, is coming to an end worldwide. The decision by NHS England effectively to ban the prescription of puberty blockers comes after the Cass review noted these drugs could “permanently disrupt” brain development, reduce bone density and lock children into a regime of cross-sex hormones requiring life-long patienthood.
NHS England unites with other national health services including those in Finland, France, Sweden and, most notably, the Netherlands — where the “Dutch protocol”, a regime of early blockers then hormones, was devised in 1998 — in pulling back from prescribing them.
Even in the United States, where a toxic combination of extreme activism and medical capitalism has pushed child gender medicine to grotesque extremes, with double mastectomies performed on 14-year-old girls, there is some retrenchment.
Leaks from the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the body which formulates guidance on “trans healthcare”, reveal doctors perplexed at how they should explain to an 11-year-old child that drugs will render them infertile. Crucially, liberal media such as The New York Times are now reporting grave medical misgivings about child transition, once dismissed as a culture-war issue for the Republican right.
Yet the question remains: how was this ever allowed to happen? For years, puberty blockers were cheerily billed as a mere “pause button”. In 2014, Dr Polly Carmichael, the last head of Gids before the Cass review ordered its closure, went on CBBC in a show called I Am Leo, saying of blockers: “The good thing is, if you stop the injections, it’s like pressing ‘start’ and the body carries on developing as it would if you hadn’t started.”
The BBC permitted her to make this unevidenced claim to an impressionable audience of six to 12-year-olds. Imagine hearing this as a developing girl, freaked out by your new breasts and periods. No wonder Gids referrals subsequently rocketed.
Carmichael failed to mention that she did not know if pressing “restart” on puberty is always medically possible — it is not — and in fact, almost every child Gids put on blockers went on to irreversible cross-sex hormones.
After years in a Peter Pan state while their peers developed, they understandably felt there was no way back and forged on with treatment. Yet if allowed to experience natural puberty, almost 85 per cent of gender dysphoria cases resolve themselves.
Nor did Carmichael tell CBBC kids that the blockers-hormones combination, if taken early enough, not only results in sterility but kills the libido so that a young person will never experience an orgasm.
At the 2020 judicial review brought by a former Tavistock clinician and Keira Bell, the brave young detransitioner rushed onto hormones by Gids, judges expressed astonishment at Gids’s lack of an evidence base.
Reporting on this issue for seven years, I too have been struck by a complete clinical incuriosity. Not only was data not collected, but those who queried treatments or pressed for evidence faced angry condemnation. Perhaps activists knew what research might find because one long-term Finnish study, recently reported in the BMJ, destroyed the myth used to justify blockers: that a child will commit suicide if denied them.
The Finns found that “gender-affirming care” does not make a dysphoric child less suicidal. Rather, such children had the same suicide risk as others with severe psychiatric issues. In other words, changing bodies does not fix troubled minds.
Yet even after NHS England’s announcement, activists refuse to heed the now-overwhelming evidence. In its response, Stonewall persists with the myth that puberty blockers “give a young person extra time to evaluate their next steps”.
Many questions remain unanswered: will private clinics still be permitted to prescribe puberty blockers; and is Scotland’s Sandyford child gender clinic still determined to close its ears to all evidence? Plus, we have few details on how the NHS’s new “holistic” treatment for gender-questioning children will operate when it opens next month.
This repellent experiment — in which girls who like trucks or little boys who dress as princesses, and who invariably grow up to be gay, are corralled inexorably down a road towards life-changing treatments — belongs in the book of medical disgraces. As do the cheerleaders who raised money for Mermaids and those who persecuted whistleblowers or damned journalists asking questions as transphobic.
In 50 years, chemically freezing the puberty of healthy children with troubled minds will be regarded with the same horrified fascination as lobotomies — which, never forget, won the Portuguese neurologist Antonio Egas Moniz the 1949 Nobel prize.
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{Article source (behind paywall)}
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onlyawhim · 4 months
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Our Secret - Draco Malfoy x Reader
Draco Malfoy is a boy you should not associate with.. which makes your secret meetings all that more exciting.
(smut!!)
You sat taking in the unmistakable buzz of the Great Hall, watching heaps of food pass from one person to another and hundreds of mumbled conversations occur in between bites of food. The first breakfast after Christmas break was always a hectic one - the grand stories of Christmas and the dread of the re-starting classes buzz through the room.
Your gaze began wandering around the room - listening to the various brags of gifts wasn't quite as entertaining as Draco Malfoy. Perhaps he thought the same thing, as his cold eyes met yours from across the dining hall. Draco shot you a smirk and wink before returning to his regular Slytherin gossip session. Your gaze remained on him, though.
Draco Malfoy is bad. He is cocky, smug, and rude. So why could you never take your eyes off of him? Perhaps his sharp eyes, strong hands, confident nature..
What only you had the pleasure of knowing was how soft he was in private. How he kissed your forehead, stroked your hair, blushed at your compliments - but he didn't want anyone to know these things. So, you stayed private - always jumping at the chance of an empty classroom or dark hallway for secretive meet-ups.
You rip your gaze away from him, being caught staring at the dark, broad man sitting across the room of you one too many times. You're supposed to hate Draco Malfoy. You return your attention to your own table, now seeing that plates are starting to clear and seats are starting to empty.
"Ready to go to class?" Hermione asks, already standing from her seat, books under her arm. Her excitement to return to school was impossible to miss.
"Oh, very." grumbles Ron, also beginning to stand. Harry grumbles a similar sentiment.
You follow along, walking in the huddle of Gryffindors unexcitedly heading to History of Magic. Halfway through the trek, however, you recognize the lightness you feel - your bag is still in the Great Hall.
"Ugh, I forgot my stuff. I'll catch up with you guys."
Your friends throw their "okay"s as you turn around to walk all the way back to the hall. Your curse yourself for being so distracted by Draco that you forgot your things...
Of course, at the thought of him, Draco appears with his posse of slightly stupid and incredibly large sidekicks. Without taking his eyes off you, he sends them orders to keep walking to class without him.
"Y/N, Y/N", he smirks once Crabbe and Goyle are a small distance away, "comin' back for me?"
"You wish, Malfoy." Your blush betrays you.
"I do wish, actually. Was a very long break without you." Luckily your blush wasn't the only traitor - his gaze breaks yours as he drops his head a bit, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. His long, slender hand...
"Well?" you ask, awaiting the usual tradition of entering the nearest empty classroom.
Wordlessly, he grabs your hand and pulls you into the nearest dark room. Shutting and locking the door behind you, he crashes his lips against yours. He pushes you against the door, hands roaming your waist. You moan into the kiss, having missed the taste of him. It was a very long break without him.
Draco pulls you away from the door and moves you to the nearest desk without breaking the kiss. You sit on the desk, pulling him closer with your legs. You can feel him through his pants, already hard. He moves down to your neck, spreading wet kisses all along it, down to your collar bones. He pulls at your shirt, signaling you to take it off.
"It's 8 in the morning" you grumble, pretending to complain as you pull your shirt off.
"I'll take you any chance I get, babe." Draco says, smirking, before meeting your lips again.
You let out a small hum as his hands meet your breasts, tweaking your nipples and kneading the skin. You reach down to his bulge, matching the kneading of your breasts to the kneading of the outline of his cock. He lets out a small moan. Draco pulls at your bottoms now, taking them off himself. Now fully exposed, you recognize how clothed he is. You pull at his shirt, and he accepts your wordless command, pulling his shirt off before reaching for his belt.
"You want me?" he asks, always needing an ego boost.
"Of course not" you mutter, returning to the kiss. He smiles into it as he pulls his belt off, dropping it onto the floor.
He brings his hands to the top of your thighs, switching between caressing the skin and gripping it. You spread your legs further, needing him incredibly bad. He brings his right hand to your center, sliding up and down the slit with your wetness.
"All for me?" he asks, already knowing the answer.
"Always, Draco" you answer, moaning at the feeling of his rough hands.
At this, he applies more pressure, now focusing on your clit. Rubbing in circles, you let out a whiny moan, dropping your head to his shoulder. He chuckles, removing his hands from you to unbutton his pants.
Pulling out his large cock, you smile at the bright red tip that's already dripping precum in anticipation. He pulls you to the edge of the desk, wrapping your legs around him. His tip meets your slit, a feeling that you had thought about all through break.
Draco rubs his tip over your dripping hole and your aching clit as you let out a small moan.
"Please" you whimper.
"Yes ma'am" he smirks, guiding his tip to your hole once again.
He slowly enters you all the way to the hilt. Draco lets out a groan as he rests his hand around your neck, as you let out a whimper at the feeling of being so full.
"Feel so good" he praises quietly.
He picks up the pace as he begins gripping at the hair at the base of your neck. You moan at the feeling. He meets his lips at yours once again, giving you sloppy and intense kisses.
The sound of your wetness makes the feeling even more intense - only he could do this to you. You moan a bit louder as he hits your g-spot.
"Right there" you gasp.
He continues his menacing pace, now aiming at that small button inside you.
"Right there?" he asks cockily, pulling your hair so that your eyes meet. His other hand drops to your clit, rubbing fast circles.
You let out a louder moan, throwing your head back as you feel your release build.
"Please, please, please" you start chanting.
"Cum for me baby" he says, continuing his hard thrusts and rough circles on your clit.
You do - all for him. You feel it snap inside you, the pleasure overtaking your body. Your legs begin shaking as you whine and moan. This sight alone is enough to send Draco over the edge, pumping his cum into you. He slows his pace as you both come down, the hand that was on your clit now on your thigh.
Panting, you drop your head to his shoulder again.
"So good" you mumble. He just smiles, bringing a hand to the back of your head, stroking your hair.
After a moment of peace, reality re-enters and the panic of having missed a majority of your first class begins.
"Draco! You made me miss History of Magic! Now I have to come up with an excuse" you grumble, reaching for your clothes.
"Poor thing" he mocks. "At least you'll be able to go into your next class with my cum dripping out of you. Bringing me with you..." he laughs.
You playfully slap his arm. "I hate you".
"It seems like it" he says, leaning in for a peck before putting on his own clothes.
You both wordlessly scramble to make yourselves presentable again - a routine both of you were both used to, and a bit fond of. You stand in front of each other as you reach to smooth his shirt, as he reaches and smooths your hair. He smiles a bit before leading you to the door.
"Have fun in the rest of History of Magic" he says sarcastically.
"Oh, always" you agree, smiling at him.
Draco kisses you once more before peaking outside the door and walking to class. You also look both ways before rushing to the Great Hall for your bag - retuning to your original mission. Once grabbing the bag that was sitting under your seat, you sling it onto your back and rush to Professor Binns' room.
You approach the door, take a deep breath, and enter the room. Luckily, Binns is so wrapped up in the fascinating topic, you were able to slip right in and sit at your usual table with Harry, Hermione, and Ron.
Harry shoots you a questioning look, while Hermoine takes the less subtle route. "Where have you been?!" she whisper yells.
"You get lost or something?" Ron says sarcastically, looking at you confused.
"It's a big school" you smile, shrugging.
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in1-nutshell · 6 months
Note
Hi I love your work how would the tfp bots react to meeting a bot that has the personality of wendsday Addams
Wednesday Addams is a good character to put into Buddy. This was fun to write and think about. Here are the Autobots reaction to Wednsday Bot Buddy!
Hope you enjoy!
Autobots reacting to Bot Buddy with the personality of Wendsday Addams
SFW, platonic, slight dark themes mainly on general themes of murder and dark humor, Nothing graphic just mentions here and there, Cybertronian/ Bot reader
TFP
Optimus Prime
*Looks at dead Vehicon* “Lucky bot.”
*Concern truck noises*
Optimus is a bit concerned about the dark nature of Buddy.
He doesn’t question their allegiance. He knows that Buddy is a loyal Autobot through and through. If they wanted to be a Decepticon they would have already done it, but they haven’t. Being able strategist, Buddy truly helps when planning attacks accordingly.
They just have a peculiar taste in humor and in personality.
Optimus won’t interfere with Buddy and their passions… unless he deems it necessary.
They are just another one of his children with a different hobby than the rest.
Ratchet
“I’m fine Doctor. They only hit a major fuel line. I’ve only entered the first stage of paralyzes, it’s quite pleasant.”
“I’m sorry WHAT WAS HIT!?”
He is a bit wary of Buddy. It’s mainly their view on murder.
He doesn’t mind the dark humor or the occasional weird vibe they give off. They help Ratchet around in the lab and in any experiments since Buddy has a natural talent for science. Though he does get a bit annoyed whenever they bring up the supernatural around him.
Buddy is a regular patient in the medbay due to the fact that they downplay their injuries so much that sometimes he doesn’t even know if they get injured on purpose.
He has to physically check Buddy for any injuries whenever they leave the base. It’s a rule now, not even Optimus can stop him now.
Bumblebee
*Pointing blaster to a Vehicon* “No one gets to torment my family except for me.”
“Beeeep. Bep beep? (Aww you do care—wait what?)”
He looks up to Buddy in a way. Buddy is the oldest of the youngest group on the team. Meaning they are older than Smokescreen by default, older than Bee. Even though the three of them came from the same generation, Buddy is the older sibling.
He can tell the war did a number to Buddy over the eons, but Buddy also always had a peculiar personality that set them apart from everyone else.
He is glad that Raf has taken a liking to Buddy and vice versa. Whenever he is too busy to pick up Raf from school, he can count on Buddy to go and pick him up safe and sound.
He knows that Buddy means well in the end… its just the lengths they are willing to go and the lines they are willing to cross to do it makes him uneasy. Bumblebee knows that he can trust Buddy with his life and will do it without a second thought.
Arcee
“Time to go spider hunting.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
She doesn’t mind Buddy as a whole.
Yes, their personality isn’t something that everyone sees and associates with Autobot, but they mean well.
She is willing to defend Buddy for that.
She does get worried about Buddy when they go out into battle. She is mainly worried that one day she or one of her teammates would accidentally hit Buddy since their frame has Con written all over it.
She trusts Buddy with Jack whenever she isn’t available. At first Jack isn’t too thrilled at the idea of being with this bot that looks like they would murder him if they ever got bored. But he gets over that initial fear after a bit of one-on-one time with Buddy. Arcee is happy for both.
The sass battles between these two can get heated and brings the team to becoming the audience.
Arcee tried a dark humor battle with Buddy. It happened only once because Arcee soon realized that Buddy had a bottomless pit full of this humor. There was no way she was going to win.
Bulkhead
“Nice knife you got there. That would be absolutely great in playing autopsy.”
“Playing What!?”
Oh yeah Buddy does not put him at ease at all. Sure, as a Wrecker he too dabbles in dark humor, but Buddy is on a whole new level of dark humor.
He would hate to see what would happen if Buddy turned to the Cons side. But time and time again, he is proven wrong about them ever defecting. Especially when Buddy has a huge sift spot for the kids, Miko begins the biggest.
Miko absolutely adores this bot. She has asked Bulkhead if he cannot pick her up or Wheeljack to let Buddy pick them up.
Buddy has been named her unofficial official “Sibling from another planet”.
Buddy doesn’t seem to mind so he is fine about that. He does get a bit uneasy about the lengths they are willing to go to fulfill a plan, but other than that he is fine with them.
Wheeljack
“You okay there, kid? You look half dead.”
“I’m always half dead Wheeljack.”
Oh yeah finally someone who can get some of his humor.
He dabbles a bit more in the dark humor than most other bots on the team, still nowhere near Buddy’s level but he can appreciate their artform.
He will defend Buddy against anyone who says that they should be in the Autobot ranks because of their personality. Not everyone is perfect, and they have a choice on which side they want to fight, and they have always chosen the Autobots even when things seem hopeless.
Wheeljack has worked with Buddy in making his famous homemade grenades. Buddy is one of the few bots he will allow to fly the Jackhammer by themselves.
While he isn’t around the base too often, he always finds it funny to have Buddy sneak up on him by accident. Not many can do that, so he finds it funny.
Smokescreen
“Have you tried doing another paint job that isn’t Black? You know, bright that color scheme a bit.”
“When they have a shade darker than black let me know.”
Smokescreen looks at Buddy with admiration and fear.
On one hand, he knows that he could jump off the Nemesis blindly with Buddy and Buddy would somehow save them both while still doing their jokes midair.
On the other hand
He isn’t a fan of their dark humor or dark personality. It reminds him too much of the Cons. The first time that he met Buddy, he nearly shot them thinking they were a Con. There was an apology afterwards.
He does not question Buddy’s side in the war for a second. Sure, they look like they could end his life with a spoon, but they haven’t and that proves the point.
Ultra Magnus
“How is the investigation coming along soldier?”
“There are so many threads in this investigation I’d have enough to weave my burial shroud and Bumblebee’s.”
“What?”
“BEEEP! (WHAT!?)”
Not a fan of their personality.
He would have put them on the same list of non-compliant soldiers as Wheeljack. But despite a few bumps here and there, Buddy is a true Autobot and lives by the code, to a point.
They are actually one of the few Autobots that have managed to follow must his plans. And has some respect for authoritative figures.
Or that might be just him and Optimus. He respects them that much. Not a fan of dark humor or personality, mainly because it isn’t his taste in humor.
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bighairybuffmen69 · 1 year
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RS Went Out of Her Way to Give Hades an Oedipus Complex.
Something struck me as odd when I saw images of LO’s pilot.
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This was Rhea’s original design; she had galaxy skin like Kronos.
When Lore Olympus became a WEBTOON original, her design changed, which I honestly consider a good thing. Rhea was always associated with nature as opposed to space. So, did RS give her a more rustic design? Did she get her signature turret crown, or maybe a lion motif?
Nope.
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Rhea, (who is described as an EARTH titaness within Lore Olympus itself) was redesigned…to be a pink Persephone clone.
And this isn’t a case where you can argue “oh, well everyone is a Persephone clone cuz same face syndrome, it doesn’t mean anything in-universe!!,” because in the comic, Persephone was established to be a canonical Rhea lookalike when Helios mistook a description of Persephone for a description of Rhea.
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They have fundamentally identical designs, and both RS and the narrative know it.
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On top of this, Hades describes both Rhea & Persephone to be very kind (and otherwise just similar personality-wise). So, um…Hades basically married a fun-sized version of his long-lost mom.
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Which makes this line all the more disturbing.
Hades is interested in Persephone being titan-sized, and I feel like it isn’t a stretch to say this is a sexual thing. The fandom treats it as a haha funny joke, like “aw Hades has a giantess fetish lol 🤪” but I feel like everyone’s ignoring the fact that giant Persephone would look exactly like a pale Rhea clone. It’s not rocket science; large Persephone is basically just Rhea.
And Hades wants to see this….for fetish reasons?
RS knows what she’s doing. She deliberately redesigned Rhea to be pink (when she is canonically an EARTH titaness, and would’ve benefited far more from being a shade of green or brown). She went out of her way to create both physical and personality parallels to Persephone and Rhea, even having a character confuse a description of Persephone for Rhea. She threw in implications that Hades has a giantess fetish, meaning he’d be sexually attracted to Persephone when she’d look exactly like his mom. She made all these story decisions…to give Hades an Oedipus complex. There’s no classy way to put it; RS made Hades fall in love with a clone of his dead fucking mom.
You can’t even argue “oh, well, it’s Greek mythology!” because, correct me if I’m wrong, but Hades wanting to fuck his mom was nowhere in the original myths. Plus, RS has taken measures to remove incest from her story. Persephone is not related to Rhea in Lore Olympus, there is no reason she should look this much like her. This serves no narrative purpose, RS did it for shits and giggles, and it only makes Hades look like 10x more of a creep.
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I’ll end this post with a little spot-the-difference between Rhea & Perse. To make matters worse, this is arguably the most Rhea-like Persephone has looked…and it was in Hades’ dream. So, uh, do with that as you will.
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xamiipholia · 28 days
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Since it’s been a year since Burning Shores came out, some thoughts on Seyka:
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TL;DR: Great character, really happy with her as a love interest for Aloy. They do some really interesting things with her that I never really see addressed so I wanted to talk about them.
She is tangibly shown to be much more of a match for Aloy through gameplay. Compared to other npcs, she solves things faster, does more damage, is a much more formidable melee combatant, faster climber - she even has a fucking Valor Surge using her Focus that does pretty significant tear damage to large machines like Slaughterspines. Environmental storytelling- Seyka’s skiff has at least 2-3 Tiderippers’ worth of parts, meaning she’s been out on her own killing the things to build boat motors, and she has some ambient dialogue that strongly suggests she’s fought and killed Slaugterspines before. Is some of this npc tech advancements in Burning Shores? Maybe, but it feels intentional. 
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Seyka has a natural probing curiosity about the old world that for the most part Aloy’s other companions didn’t have without some significant hand-holding from Aloy to get them started, and some of her close friend (but not base team) characters just don’t have at all. I don’t mean this as a moral judgement, everyone is different and has different strengths and priorities , but it’s absolutely critical that a partner for Aloy have that kind of curiosity - it’s such a big part of her character. While she lives in this new world, she’s never going to be entirely a part of it. Like she says, she finds belonging in individuals, and not really the tribes. I don’t really see Aloy settling down in Meridian or Mother’s Heart. She needs to have a life of exploration and discovery and Seyka seems cut from that cloth too, whether she was always that way or being marooned gave her a fresh perspective.
Seyka did risk death using the focus and decided to do it anyway- in Rheng’s notes he calls for capital punishment for her. The threat is never *too* present but honestly I think that’s a broader critique of the series and pretty consistent with the writing of conflicts in Horizon. I agree they could have played up the dramatic tension a bit, but this is a person who weighed the risk of a military execution by a totalitarian state and immediately decided it was worth it to save her sister and others. I think Aloy can intimately relate, given what she went through for Beta.
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Even though it’s a DLC, she has a TON of screen time, probably comparable to Kotallo in HFW, and Horizon does SO much storytelling through gameplay and ambient dialogue. I think she’s given a LOT of narrative space to breathe. She’s also has her own musical cues and leitmotifs that do a ton of foreshadowing work through the DLC - in terms of musical cues and framing she’s very associated with the acoustic guitar, and the flute melody in ‘Her Sky, Her Sea’ has for Aloy and Seyka the same function that ‘It Can’t Last’ does for Ellie and Dina in TLOU2 - next time you play Burning Shores, listen for it. That and the guitar cues from ‘The Idea of Home’ and ‘For His Entertainment’ do a lot of emotional work. It’s great stuff.
Okay and lastly- YMMV on this one - I’ve def talked about it with friends before but I don’t think I’ve said it on Tumblr. I’m a firm believer that meta narratives and the way that stories are situated and created in our own world matter and that art deserves to be taken seriously and dissected. I love Horizon, but it, and Aloy as a protagonist, are absolutely drenched in white savior and colonial storytelling tropes. Every time I play Frozen Wilds, all I can think of is Jack Sparrow going “and then they made me their chief”. There’s a lot of iffy stuff in the games, as much as I absolutely love them. We’ll have to see how H3 goes, but Burning Shores is MUCH better about this and honestly Seyka is a huge part of it. The story centers itself on a queer woman of color who is pretty tangibly presented as Aloy’s equal with her own strengths and weaknesses throughout the story and takes the lead just as often if not more than Aloy does, which I find really refreshing. It doesn’t entirely fix Aloy’s white savior issues but I think it’s a really good move for the narrative that continues the themes found in HFW about community and connection.
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Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds (2017)
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4dkellysworld · 10 months
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When suffering happens
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When unpleasant things happen in life, in an effort to understand it and find peace, we (our egos) often either try to find reason and understand why something happened/is so or immediately jump to conclusions and label it, often linking it to our identity like "oh it's because I am _____" or "it's because I did/thought/felt _____ which caused this, I shouldn't have done that!" or "This always happens to me ugh!!!" yet I find this habit ends up causing more harm than good and it is this self-identification that then ends up causing further spiralling and a pattern of similar events later in the future.
M: Detach yourself from all that makes your mind restless. Renounce all that disturbs its peace. If you want peace, deserve it. Q: Surely everybody deserves peace. M: Those only deserve it, who don't disturb it. Q: In what way do I disturb peace? M: By being a slave to your desires and fears. Q: Even when they are justified? M: Emotional reactions, born of ignorance or inadvertence, are never justified. Seek a clear mind and a clean heart. All you need is to keep quietly alert, enquiring into the real nature of yourself. This is the only way to peace. Chapter 8: The Self Stands Beyond Mind - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj
Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it.
This is why it's so important to let go of our ego, to let go of the unpleasant thoughts with indifference, reject any claim over them and detach any association with your I AM (the Self's identity) rather than intellectuallise what happened with the mind. You can cut it off and break the cycle right there.
Understanding this was truly the turning point that launched me into earnest and honest study of 4dbarbie's teachings and by extension, Lester Levenson and Nisargadatta Maharaj's teachings. I was just so sick of going through the same shit, being stuck in the trenches and going nowhere. At some point you're going to get so fed up that you just want to give it all up and not care about anything anymore.
The thing about nothing though is that it's the only thing that can take the shape of everything. 1
Isn't it so much more freeing to just say "fuck it all, it doesn't make sense and I don't care to think about it anymore. This isn't mine", let it go and move on?
Imagine you see a random couple out in public fighting about all their relationship problems openly. What goes through your head when that happens? For me, I go "phew yikes, I'm glad that's not me. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my problem", feel a sense of relief and gratefulness that it's not my burden to bear and move on with my day.
When nonsensical or unpleasant things happen in your life, treat it the same way you do when nonsensical or unpleasant things happen in your sleeping dreams for they are both I AM's imaginary creations. Just let it go, detach it from Self and move on - no matter what happens, it is not yours.
Important distinction: I am not saying to physically ignore your body and ego's needs, do what needs to be done but you (the Self) do not have to identify with it, you do not have to claim it as yours. You know it's not you and you are just observing everything, unaffected.
"When the mind is quiet, we come to know ourselves as the pure witness. We withdraw from the experience and its experiencer and stand apart in pure awareness, which is between and beyond the two. The personality, based on self-identification, on imagining oneself to be something: 'I am this, I am that', continues, but only as a part of the objective world. Its identification with the witness snaps." Chapter 6: Meditation - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj
Stop trying to find reason as you are only further sustaining its reality by doing that.
"By resisting evil, you merely strengthen it." Chapter 72: What is Pure, Unalloyed, Unattached is Real - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj "You may try to trace how a thing happens, but you cannot find out why a thing is as it is. A thing is as it is, because the universe is as it is". Chapter 4: Real World is Beyond The Mind - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj
Just let it go. Letting go is what gives ultimate peace and freedom.
Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (your desired reality). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you 2
Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is.
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compacflt · 11 months
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For the requests/open inbox, this may not be the lane you're looking for, but you made a throw a way mention in a response to the ask about Ice's enforcement of DADT that Bradley and Ice probably got into it at one point about Ice being totally okay with DADT as a policy (which I love your read on Ice being like, 'yeah, nobody should ask and nobody should tell. what's the problem here?') I would love to see that argument go down. Or honestly, just any Ice and Bradley interaction after the reconciliation that suits your fancy. I find that dynamic in your world super interesting. Bradley sees him as a father, Ice sees him as the person whose father I killed. I love the drama.
Five times Ice was so obviously Rooster’s dad + one time he explicitly wasn’t.
[Carole. 1994.]
He’s such a nervous man. Usually that’s not the word people associate with him. Nervous? Never! But he is. Carole Bradshaw’s more a religious woman than a spiritual one. She’s never put any stock into “chockras” or “ouras” or whatever the other girls her age were fooling around with in the late sixties and early seventies. But she does believe that you can understand a person just by looking at him or her, and when she looks at Tom Kazansky, she sees a little anxious creature, shivering in the cold, like one of those tiny spindly dogs who always needs a sweater. Maybe it’s her southern maternal instincts, something primal and animalistic inside her, I need to take care of you—and when he nudges her with a nervous shivering shoulder and whispers, “Can I bum a smoke?” —she reaches down to take his hand and says, “I only have one left. We’ll have to share.”
She knows she makes him nervous. His ears are red, and so’s the back of his neck. It’s early on a Saturday morning, and the church is crowded, and he’s self-conscious about the fact that she’s holding his hand. Good. It’s so rare she gets to make a man nervous anymore. She waves to Bradley, proud in his little striped button-down and his little blue bow-tie, where he’s lined-up with all the other aspiring pianists against the stage along the far wall, under the bare postmodern crucifix. The recital isn’t going to start for another five, ten minutes, and it’s organized by age, so Bradley’s somewhere in the middle. If Tom Kazansky needs a smoke, Carole Bradshaw will bum him a smoke.
They exit out the side door, and the low murmuring of the other proud parents in the church fades to the quiet of the alley. Birds chirping nearby. The sound of a latecoming car on gravel somewhere far away. Her cigarette and the flick of his lighter, her eyes on his mouth and his puff of smoke—it’s lit. He takes a drag, closes his eyes, then passes it to her. “Sorry to make you share,” she says, and she’s watching the red flush creep up the side of his throat with a silent pleasure. When she takes her own pull, she looks down to see that the filter’s gone the sweet red-pink of her old lipstick. Kind of like a kiss, sharing a cigarette.
“That’s okay,” he says. Nervous spindly little dog. “Uh, what’s he playing?”
“Beethoven. ‘Für Elise.’” Then, before he can think to judge, she goes on quickly: “It’s more complicated than you’d think. Goes up and down and all over the place.”
“It’s a good song,” Tom Kazansky says, “though I don’t know too much about piano.” He pauses. “I’m learning a little German, though. I think it’s E-leez-ah. She must’ve been an alright girl if Beethoven wrote a song for her.”
Carole Bradshaw doesn’t know what to say to that. So she says this instead: “Thank you for coming. It made Bradley—well, over the moon, I guess.”
Tom Kazansky smiles shyly. “Sorry Maverick couldn’t come. I know he wanted to.”
Of course he brings up Pete Mitchell. Drags her back into reality. “He’s in Washington again, isn’t he?”
“Correct.” He reaches out for the cigarette; she gives it to him. “TOPGUN’s biggest advocate. I keep telling him he should go into politics. I just talked to him yesterday—he told me he went to the Natural History Smithsonian on Wednesday—he bought Bradley a dinosaur picture book, I think. Does Bradley like dinosaurs?”
Carole Bradshaw shrugs. What nine-year-old boy doesn’t like dinosaurs, but… “He’s more into sea life these days. Whales, sharks, fish.”
“Some fish used to be dinosaurs, they think,” says Tom Kazansky, clearly just trying to fill the silence. Ears red, lips red. Smoke out of his mouth like a fire-breathing dragon.
Carole Bradshaw doesn’t know how much dinosaur history she actually believes. So she says, “It’s still really nice of you to come. You know, Bradley—Bradley thinks of you and Maverick as his—well, his fathers, I s’pose. So it’s nice for you to be here.”
She watches his reaction—just nervousness. Straight anxiety. He doesn’t meet her eyes, like she’s just kicked him in the ribs. He does not want to be Bradley’s father. 
She says, “You don’t have to sign any papers, Tom. You don’t have to put a kid seat in your car. I’m just saying. Don’t worry about it.”
He says, “I can hear the kids starting inside—we should probably go back in.”
So Carole Bradshaw drops the cigarette butt to the ground and steps on it with the bottom of her flat. They go inside, and wait for a kindergartener to finish an overly simple “Canon in D” to take their seats again. She takes his hand. He lets her. After another half-hour, Bradley sits down on the bench in front of the hand-me-down Steinway and busts out “Für Elise” without a single missed note. It still shocks her, sometimes, to watch him play—it still shocks her, sometimes, that she is the mother of all that talent. And now maybe Tom Kazansky is the father of all that talent. How did that happen?
At the end of the recital, Tom Kazansky lets go of her hand. She knew he would. Knew his fatherhood is only temporary. But he lets go of her hand to accept Bradley’s great-big hug in the parking lot: “Gosling, that was so good.” Bradley’s proud smile is missing a few teeth. It makes Tom Kazansky laugh.
And after he drops them off at home, and peels away with a wave and a smile, Carole Bradshaw lights another cigarette from the half-full pack she’d brought with her to the recital and brings Bradley out to the backyard so he can play and she can watch him. But before she lets him go, she looks down at him and says flatly, “If kids at school ask you about Uncle Tom and Uncle Pete—you need to tell them they’re just friends.”
And in his eyes, she can see the confusion of a little boy who hadn’t been aware that Tom Kazansky and Pete Mitchell were anything other than just friends—the confusion of a little boy learning about duplicity for the first time in his life. 
“Okay,” he says, so she lets him go.
[Maverick. 1998.]
“Don’t go easy on him,” Maverick hollers breathlessly over his shoulder, fishing around in the ice chest in the sand for two cans of Coors; “He just joined the J.R.O.T.C.; don’t go easy on him; he’s tougher than all your squadrons combined; beat him into the dirt…”
“Thanks, Uncle Mav,” shouts Bradley from across the volleyball court, where he’s getting initiated into one of the volleyball teams of younger fighter pilots. 
Maverick flashes him a thumbs-up and finds his T-shirt on the first bleacher bench, pulls it on with one hand, and then hops up the rest of the benches to sit with Ice, who’s got his CVN-65 ballcap on and a book open in his lap and is offering informal career advice to one of the other lieutenants: “Yeah, so, in my opinion, it’s all down to what you think you can stomach… If you want me to look over your C.V., I can totally do that—I think I’m free Monday at around thirteen-hundred, if you want to stop in to talk. Not a problem. Not a problem. Alright. See you later.” He watches the lieutenant go, then lolls his head over to look at Maverick, who’s tossing an ice-cold can of Coors up and down. “Hey. Good game. —Coors, Mav? This is an insult.” But he takes the offered can anyway, looking out onto the court, where Bradley—fourteen and just entering his beanpole phase of evolution—is currently spiking the ball. “Cool.” It’s a nice summer Saturday, a casual opportunity for the officers of Miramar to socialize with their families (Ice is wearing a golf shirt and jeans), and by now pretty much everyone knows that Maverick Mitchell’s raising his friend’s kid and that he and Captain Kazansky are good friends, so this is pretty nice. Not much to hide.
“C’mon,” Maverick says, popping open his own can, “you and I were having a scintillating conversation, a few minutes ago.” He’s hunting around for the sunscreen so the tops of his feet don’t burn to ashes in the sun.
“Scintillating. That’s a big word for you. Wow.”
“You’re rubbing off on me, Sir Reads-a-lot—”
“See, that’s funny,” Ice interjects, “because I seem to recall, before you so-rudely interrupted me to go play volleyball with the kids, I was telling you that it’s really not that interesting. It’s actually, Maverick, quite boring.”
“Well, I’m intrigued now. Go on. Finish it off, I wanna know.”
Ice slaps his book shut and gives the long tired sigh of a man who is very self-conscious about the fact that he’s about to turn forty. He pops the tab on his can of Coors and huffs in exasperation when it foams all over his hand. “I mean it, my family history’s really not that interesting. Typical eastern-European immigrant shitshow. U.S. officials change one letter in our last name and everyone loses their goddamn minds… Actually, that story might be apocryphal, I keep forgetting which former Soviet Socialist Republic I’m actually from, I just can’t remember, all the borders got redrawn so many times, one of ‘em…”
Maverick smiles and pulls his TOPGUN ballcap back down onto his head, tugs the brim down low over his eyes so he can tip his head back and not go blind from the summer sunshine. He’d thought Ice would be reluctant to share his family history, but it turns out that most people are just afraid to ask him, and he’s actually pretty eager to talk, if you just ask. Maybe over-eager. He’s rambling. Maverick cuts him off: “Yeah, you do have a left curve to you, don’t you. Genetic.”
The dirty joke strikes Ice dumb for a second, but then he forges ahead, wisely choosing not to engage. He keeps going, oblivious to the fact that Maverick’s not really listening… “Anyway, my grandfather was Jewish, but he died literally the second he stepped foot in America, so it doesn’t count…my grandmother was Orthodox, crazy story how they ended up together; actually, that story’s probably apocryphal, too…she’s the one who raised me, pretty much. I told you that. She brought my dad out to Southern California when he was a little kid, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed, So-Cal’s not exactly the Mecca of Orthodox churches or anything, so he wasn’t very religious at all… My mom was from Milwaukee, I think. Or maybe Minneappolis. Some kinda Protestant. Forget which kind. The preachy kind. But then she died and I didn’t have to go to church anymore, so I didn’t.”
“You just never believed?” Maverick mumbles, half-joking.
“Nah. I mean, I always had too many questions no one wanted to answer. For instance: okay, say you’re bad. Say you commit sin…”
“I’ve never sinned, sir. You’re talking hypothetically.”
“Right. Me, neither. Hypothetically speaking. So you go to Hell. Well, the devil’s there, too, ‘cause he’s a sinner, too. But why’s he want to punish you? What does he get out of it? You’re both in the same boat!”
“Probably a sexual thing,” says Maverick, watching the purple-green imprints of the sun dance around behind his eyelids. “He probably gets off on it. The devil, I mean.”
Ice laughs and laughs. “Sure. Try saying that in front of my mom and see if you survived. I learned pretty early on that they don’t want you to be too curious. So I kept all my questions to myself.” He’s also joking, not taking this super seriously, but that’s a pretty in-character answer. “What about you, Mav?”
“If I’ve told you my family’s history once, I’ve told you a thousand times…” That’s a joke. Maverick’s the one who doesn’t like talking about his family history. Ice hasn’t heard any of it, and for good reason. Maybe someday he’ll tell him about it. “Later. But, remember, I used to be Southern Baptist? Jesus, I was serious into that shit, Ice.”
Ice snorts. “Yeah, right. You.”
“Not joking. I had about eighty girlfriends between fourteen and eighteen, but that’s the most pious I’ve ever been. Lotsa loopholes to make my relationships biblical. Was thinking about being a youth pastor. —I’m not joking. It was my whole personality, for a while. Most of my childhood, anyway.”
Ice is still laughing in disbelief. “Oh, yeah? And then what happened?”
Maverick smiles. “…Got hooked on sinning.” 
“…Yeah,” Ice replies, and Maverick can hear the nervous smirk in his voice, “I guess I’d know a little something about that.”
And normally that would be the end of the conversation. But Maverick’s feeling a little sun-drunk, a little giddy, and he’ll never, ever, ever grow out of instigating stupid arguments with Ice just for the fun of it. From beneath the brim of his ballcap he mutters, “…You think Carole’s brainwashing her kid?”
Ice huffs a laugh, and says through a lazy yawn, “I’m not militant in my atheism, no.” But he, also, will never, ever, ever grow out of instigating stupid arguments with Maverick just for the fun of it, and his curiosity’s clearly been piqued. He stews in it for a second before he snaps, “Do you think Carole’s brainwashing her kid?”
“I’m just saying she has him readin’ outta the Bible, like, five times a day. She sends him to church camp. Does something to a kid.” He has no dog in this fight, but this is fun.
“And what did it do to you?” Ice says, reaching down to shove his shoulder good-naturedly. “Weren’t you just telling me not five seconds ago how you used to be the perfect model of Christian charity?” Maverick mumbles a retort sleepily; Ice pushes on through it: “Bradley’s a human being. Either he grows out of it like you did, or he doesn’t, in which case, whatever, land of the free. That’s the First Amendment. You swore an oath to the Constitution. Maybe you should read it.”
“I’ve read it. I’m not Congress, shithead. How’s it go, you want me to cite it to you directly, ‘Congress shall make no law…’ actually, I don’t know what comes after that. Got me there.”
“Don’t call me shithead, dipshit. And whatever. Good thing he’s Carole’s kid and not yours, then. He’s got a mom who wants him to go to church. It’s up to him if he wants to listen to her or not. That’s growing up.”
Maverick tips up the brim of his ballcap to look at him, sprawled out in the bleachers very unprofessionally for the CO of this entire volleyball court, and snaps back, “Well, he’s a little bit my kid. The same way he’s a little bit your kid.” 
Ice just flicks his sunglasses down onto his nose and purses his lips and neither confirms nor denies this allegation. 
They watch the game together for a while, Ice’s toes pressed against Maverick’s lower back discreetly, trying to work their way under Maverick’s T-shirt. Until one of the young pilots approaches a few minutes later: “Sir!” / “What’s that kid’s call sign again?” Ice mumbles to Maverick, prodding him with his foot. / “Hooker.” / “No shit.” / “Sir!” says Hooker again. / “Which one of us, kid?” says Maverick. / “Captain Kazansky, sir. We’ve got a spot opening up. Wanna play?”
Maverick looks up at Ice expectantly. Ice sighs and harrumphs and waffles for a minute— “I’m too old for this shit.”
“Sir,” says Maverick, “it’s not a competition, but if it were, I’d be winning.” 
Lighting the fire of competition under Ice like that is always a good strategy. He rolls his eyes, but immediately stands and tugs off his shirt and rolls up the cuffs of his jeans; “I’ll only play if I can play with the kid.” 
So Maverick watches the teams get scrambled again with a smile, and sits up to watch Ice join Bradley in the sand. Bradley’s only just now taller than Ice, and Ice clearly isn’t used to having to reach up to curl an arm around his shoulders to strategize, his eyes narrowed like an eagle’s, staring down the competition. Maverick can read his lips from across the pitch: Alright, kid, I’ve been watching for a while, and I think I know these guys’ strengths and weaknesses…okay, here’s what we’re gonna do… And the game begins when Bradley spikes the ball.
Ice won’t always be this fun, this down-to-earth, this human. The admiralty and the guilt and the grief of the years to come will strip it all away from him, bring him back to the cold, remove him from his own humanity. And maybe, even if it isn’t conscious, Maverick can recognize that, right now, watching Ice dive into the sand with a laugh: this summer sunshine is only temporary. It’s gonna have to end at some point. So he doesn’t take it for granted. He keeps his eyes open and watches and tries to commit it to memory.
And after the game, Ice and Bradley come over so Ice can finish his beer and put his shirt and his baseball cap back on, and Maverick can make fun of them for losing. And: “What were you guys talking about for so long before the game?” Bradley asks Maverick with a grin.
“Whether or not your mom’s brainwashing you,” Maverick says.
“Oh!” Bradley says mildly. “…No, I don’t think so!”
“Oh, that’s a great start,” Ice laughs. “You would’ve made a great Soviet. No, I don’t think I’m getting brainwashed. Hey, by the way, Gosling, if you want a beer, Maverick and I won’t tell anyone.”
“Aw, really?” whispers Bradley. “Thanks, Uncle Ice!” And he races down the bleachers towards the ice chest in the sand.
Maverick watches Ice watch him go, fingers still pinching the brim of his CVN-65 ballcap, clearly worrying about something the way Ice always is. 
Then he looks down at Maverick, stares openly for a minute, and says, “You don’t think we’re teaching him to rebel too much, do you?”
[Bradley. 2000.]
“Kiddo! You’re here early!” It was Uncle Ice, walking through his own front door, catching a glimpse of Bradley watching the Astros-Nats game on the TV. He was still in uniform, but smiling wide, and he set his bag down near the couch and leaned over to ruffle Bradley’s hair goodnaturedly.
“Practice ended early today.”
“Oh, okay. Cool. Maverick should be home soon, still at work—your mom’ll be here in about an hour—she told me to put the chicken breasts in the oven, but you know me, every time I use this oven I set off the fire alarm, so you oughta help me with that…”
“And,” Bradley said, watching Uncle Ice wash his hands in the kitchen sink, “I got here early because I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh, sure!” chirped Uncle Ice. Then he paused, sensing a trap. “What about?”
“Advice,” Bradley mumbled. He took a deep breath, and stood to follow Uncle Ice into the kitchen “I was just—I was just curious. If you had any advice for me joining the Navy. You know, with me being gay, and all. How do I—I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s kinda been weighing on me. Do you have any advice?”
Uncle Ice was still drying his hands off on a kitchen towel. Rubbing them red and raw. And when he raised his head to speak, there was something dull and startled in his eyes: “I don’t, um—no, I don’t—I don’t know anything about that. —You should ask Uncle Maverick about that.”
“I did,” Bradley said desperately, because he had. Yes, he’d gone to Uncle Mav first. “He—he told me to talk to you.”
“…Oh,” said Uncle Ice, now standing in front of a shelf to return one of his books to it. This surprised him. Maybe hurt him a little. “No. I—I, I wouldn’t know anything about that.”
“But—”
“And there are probably better people to ask than me or Maverick. I—I don’t know—that’s not really my…I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
Uncle Ice swallowed, put the book back on the shelf, then clasped his hands together and set them on the shelf, too, as if leaning over his captain’s desk to chastise someone. He blinked for a long moment. Clearly shifting gears. Becoming someone else so easily. Why couldn’t Bradley do that? “But I can tell you this,” he said, and his voice had gone grave and dim, “and I know you and I don’t always see eye-to-eye on politics—but I can tell you this, professionally, because I respect you, and I care about you, a lot—you’re going to have to keep it a secret.”
Dismayed, Bradley said, “Why?”
“Why’s a funny question to ask about something like this,” said Uncle Ice curtly. He shrugged. “Why? Because it’s the law. That’s why.”
Bradley swung his bat at the hornets’ nest. This was always dangerous with Uncle Ice. “It shouldn’t be a law. Don’t you think?”
“Doesn’t matter what I think. It’s the law. And we get paid to enforce the law, internationally speaking. And the military doesn’t work if personnel refuse to follow the rules in broad daylight. So.” He trailed his fingertip along the spines of all his precious books, then eventually found a different one, started flipping through it absentmindedly. “And even if it weren’t the law, it’d still get enforced extrajudicially. You know what that means?” He did that, when he was intentionally being cruel; used big words that Bradley didn’t know to make himself sound smarter. “It means outside the law. The way people talk to you. The way people respect you or don’t respect you. And this business, the one you want to go into, is all about respect. Being a pilot is kind of like being a knight: you have to be noble, you have to be honorable, you have to respect your service and your adversaries and yourself. And because I respect you, and because I care about you a lot, I’m just telling you the truth—you’re going to have to keep it a secret.”
Bradley blinked. There was something crushing and overwhelming about the truth—maybe the fact that it was the truth, maybe the fact that he hated the fact that it was the truth. It made sense. But it also meant his future was unspeakably bleak. He tried to speak over the lump in his throat when he said, “Yeah. That’s what Maverick told me, too.” And what he’d wanted to hear from Uncle Ice was that Uncle Mav was telling a lie. 
Something went soft and slightly wounded in Uncle Ice’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Uncle Ice said gently. “I wish I could give you better advice than that. But that’s all I know. I don’t know any more than that.”
“Don’t you want to know more than that?”
“No.”
And thus did the generational gap widen into a chasm. 
[February 2003.]
Dear SN Bradshaw, / Please call/email/write me back when you get a chance. / Love Uncle Iceman.
[August 2003.]
Dear AN Bradshaw, / I hope you’re doing all right. I hope at some point you and I can get in touch to talk. Please let me know if there is some other address I should be sending my letters to. I am not sure if they are finding you. / Love Uncle Iceman.
[May 2004.]
Dear AN Bradshaw, / I wanted to congratulate you on your acceptance to college. Yours is a very good AE program & you should feel very proud. Please let me know if there’s anything you might need as you prepare to start your first year. / Love Uncle Iceman.
[August 2010.]
Dear LT Bradshaw, / I wanted to let you know that I’ll be at NAS Oceana for a conference from December 6-9. I understand that’s your neck of the woods—would you be interested in having dinner with me on either that Tuesday or Wednesday night? I would love to hear how you’ve been doing. You can reach my secretary at the number below. / Love Uncle Iceman.
[October 2014.]
Dear LT Bradshaw, / We Maverick and I want to wish you a Happy Birthday 30th Birthday. We heard you are deployed out in the Atlantic now—we hope you will be able to enjoy the enclosed gift card when you make it back to terra firma. Our updated personal cell numbers are below. / HAPPY BIRTHDAY! FROM UNCLE MAVERICK & Uncle Iceman.
“Haven’t heard back from the kid yet.”
“…You think we ever will?”
The longest silence.
[Pacific Air Type Commander Beau Simpson. 2016.]
You could see it in the way they held themselves. An utmost similarity. Aristocratic propriety. Maybe a little sense of entitlement: look how hard we’ve worked to be here. All three of them had it. More accurately: Captain Mitchell and Admiral Kazansky both had it, and had passed it down to their son.
“Captain Mitchell.” Everyone was watching. The sun had only just set; the sky was melting from horizon-red through orange and yellow and teal up to midnight black above them.
“It’s an honor, sir,” said Captain Mitchell, accepting Admiral Kazansky’s handshake. God, you’d never know it by looking at them. Half the people here on this Roosevelt flight deck knew about them, but they were so convincing that more people weren’t sure. TYCOM Simpson glanced at Rear Admiral Bates, who glanced back in confusion—I thought they were…? They were, TYCOM Simpson signaled, just abnormally good at keeping it a secret.
“Honor’s all mine, Captain,” said Admiral Kazansky, and he passed by without a second glance.
And when he made it down the line of aviators to Lieutenant Bradshaw—you could see it. The similarity in the way they held themselves. Straight and rigid and unyielding. Cold and dismissive beyond belief, even to each other. Admiral Kazansky held out a hand. Lieutenant Bradshaw took it, but refused to make eye contact. Quiet rebellion under the radar: Admiral Kazansky had taught him well. 
TYCOM Simpson glanced at Captain Mitchell, to gauge his reaction. And for once, he and Captain Mitchell were clearly thinking the exact same thing.
Like father, like son.
You could see it in their stubborn determination. How far they were willing to go. How hard they were willing to push. How long they were willing to hold their own hands to the fire, if it meant the familiar painful comfort of staying warm. “Ice-cold, huh?” TYCOM Simpson asked him the next morning, trying to pin down their strategy, trying to secure a guarantee that their family would do what their country asked of them, even if that meant death. Even if that meant the ultimate sacrifice.
“Only when I have to be,” replied Admiral Kazansky, which meant always, and—soon thereafter, he ordered Lieutenant Bradshaw to his death.
But also, Lieutenant Bradshaw went willingly, too.
“Dagger One is hit.”
“Dagger Two is hit.”
Loss is supposed to hit a man in stages. Isn’t that the truth? —Not so for Admiral Kazansky, whom grief obviously swallowed whole in just an instant. He did not break, or bend under its weight. Just stood there staring at the E-2D AWACS screen with wide wounded eyes—not disbelieving eyes. They were gone. Captain Mitchell and Lieutenant Bradshaw were gone. He was in no denial whatsoever. He had leapt straight to acceptance.
“Sir,” said TYCOM Simpson hesitantly, and he reached out to touch him—the stars on his shoulder—guide him back to reality—what must it be like, to lose a son?—to willingly forfeit your family?—
But before he could make contact, Admiral Kazansky drew a breath, moved away, and closed his eyes for just a second. Perfectly composed, even with the waters of grief closing over his head, even with three dozen observers in this C2 room all scrutinizing him for his response. Perfectly composed. How did he do it? How could he manage? How was he possibly still this proud?
“Vice Admiral Simpson,” he said calmly, “I relinquish my command to you, until you deem me necessary to return to my post.”
“Sir,” said Rear Admiral Bates, darting panicked, sympathetic eyes to TYCOM Simpson, but it was too late—Admiral Kazansky was already leaving the room. Head held high and steady. 
Some confusing weeks later, after Captain Mitchell and Lieutenant Bradshaw returned from the dead, TYCOM Simpson and Rear Admiral Bates would casually debrief the mission together in the lobby bar of the Waldorf-Astoria in Washington, D.C. No hard liquor, just beers. Just barely enough alcohol to give them an excuse to philosophize. “You think pride is a sin or a virtue?” TYCOM Simpson found himself asking, tracing the rim of his gilt-edged Stella Artois glass with a finger, after having recounted the above testimony.
“Neither,” said Rear Admiral Bates. “Gotta be a vice.”
“A vice.”
“Yeah. Good men die because of pride, bad men die because of pride…we send our sons to battle because of pride…wars are fought and won and lost because of pride… every war in human history, when you boil it down, begins when someone says, ‘You’re wrong and I’m right, and I’m proud of my own righteousness, proud enough to kill, proud enough to die, proud enough to send my sons to die…’”
“Oh, okay. That’s the root of all human conflict, then, according to you, Warlock. Okay.”
Rear Admiral Bates smiled and laughed at himself, too. Pride, he mouthed. Then shook his head. “We’re a proud species. It’s our vice.”
TYCOM Simpson was thinking about the two proudest men he knew, Admiral Kazansky and Lieutenant Bradshaw, and wondered what it was, exactly, that had driven a wedge between them, you’re wrong and I’m right and I’m proud enough of my own righteousness to send you to your death/inflict my death upon you… And then he remembered the warnings he’d previously received about Lieutenant Bradshaw and Lieutenant Seresin and their open relationship, and then he remembered Admiral Kazansky coldly shaking Captain Mitchell’s hand… and he wondered if the wedge between them was exactly that: the matter of pride.
[Tom. 2018.]
“Merry Christmas and a happy new year, and all that,” says Pete, raising his glass and reaching over the dining table to clink rims with Tom and then Bradley. “A good year! A really good year! —Sorry your guy couldn’t be here, Rooster. We’ll call him tonight before you go. Tell him we miss him.”
“Where is he again?” Tom asks.
“Washington,” Bradley says with a smile. “Big conference at the Pentagon. I’ll see him next week.”
“You know,” Pete says with a sly grin directed at Tom, “I’ve never actually heard the story of how you two got together.” 
“Oh,” Bradley says, shrugging as he tears open a dinner roll, “not that interesting. Pretty much what you’d expect. Inter-squadron competition-turned-sexual tension. Not exactly within regs, but we did meet each other before D.A.D.T. got repealed, so it wasn’t like we’d’ve ever been within regs, either…” (All the while, Tom’s smirking over the rim of his wine glass at Pete, No, Mav, I’m not gonna tell him I had them reassigned to the same boat…) “We broke up when I got sent to TOPGUN. But we figured it out eventually.”
“Glad you did. Sorry he couldn’t be here.”
Bradley hesitates, then says, “You know what I just realized? I never heard how you two got together…! You’ve never told me that story!”
Tom glances over at Pete, do you want to take this or shall I, and when Pete motions all yours, he sighs and says, “Uh, we don’t really know. We’ve just been telling people nineteen-eighty-six because it’s easy. But in a much more real sense…” He thinks about it, then shrugs. “Whatever. If you really want to know. In nineteen-ninety-three, right after I came back to San Diego to take command at Miramar, he and I had a drunken one-night stand. By accident. Which then turned into twenty-five years of accidental one-night stands. So.”
“Oh, c’mon. You guys bought a house together.”
“Yeah, that,” says Pete, “that was, uh, to facilitate the accidental one-night stands. Make it more convenient for everyone.”
“Cut out the middle-man,” Tom supplies, then shrugs again at the look on Bradley’s face. “That’s our story, kid. It’s not super romantic. We weren’t thinking about it that way. We didn’t know how.”
Pete raises the wine bottle to refill Tom’s glass—though it’s still halfway full—and then raises his eyebrows when he “notices” the bottle’s empty. Changes the subject as he stands: “Okay, what’s everyone feeling? Red, white, what’s next?”
“Red,” Tom says absently. “Anything big, I guess—first cab you see…” But then he thinks about it, and he amends his order before Pete leaves earshot: “Actually—we’ve got that petite sirah we gotta drink—two-thousand-four. Israeli. Might be somewhere in the back, sorry. But now’s a good occasion, I think, to bust it out for the holidays. No reason to save it.”
“Israeli sirah two-thousand-four,” Pete repeats, “okay. I got that.” 
Then he steps outside, leaving Tom and Bradley alone. It’s not awkward—they’ve worked really hard over the last two years to make it not-awkward, after the mission—but human beings are human beings. Prideful, stubborn creatures. There will always be a little guilt between the two of them, and a little blame.
“I have to be honest,” Tom says after a moment, interested in being honest for Bradley’s sake, “sorry we don’t have a better story to give you, about us. It is a little hard to talk about.”
“Why?”
“Well—we don’t know the words we’re supposed to use, for one. It’s your generation who sets the standard for that kind of thing. You young people. We’re a little out-of-date. And…well. I guess we’re just jealous of you. It’s hard to talk about.”
“Jealous?” Bradley repeats quizzically. “Why?”
Tom leans back in his chair and really thinks through what he wants to say. This is one of those impromptu speeches you never really intend to make, but are probably still important to get off your chest. “Maverick and I,” he starts carefully, “will never stop feeling guilty about what we did to you. Ever. You need to know that.” And when Bradley scoffs and huffs and tries to interrupt, he goes on, “Not just pulling your papers from the Academy. It goes back further than that. We will always feel like we deprived you of your father. The merits of that feeling are debatable, sure, but it’s a fact of life. A fact of our lives, anyway. And it’s dictated so much of how we live, and how we’ve lived, over the past thirty years. Part of the reason I came back to Miramar in nineteen-ninety-three was to be with you and your mom. Because I felt I owed you that, in return for what I’d taken.”
“You didn’t kill him,” Bradley says. “Or, at least, I never blamed you for killing him. You or Maverick both. You guys were my dads. You didn’t take anything from me. —Excepting the obvious, the Academy, but that was mostly my mom, I guess, so, whatever.”
“I’m just telling you what our lives have been like since the day I met you. Why we did what we did.”
“Okay. But I still don’t understand why you’re jealous.”
Tom smiles, a little faintly. “Because the other part of the reason I came back to Miramar in nineteen-ninety-three was to be with Maverick,” he says, “and I’m jealous of you because I didn’t recognize that at the time. —Everyone hopes, when they have kids—because, look, I’m not your dad, but you are my kid, really—everyone hopes they can bring their kid into a better world than the one they had when they were a kid, and we did. But no one prepares you for how jealous you get when your kid grows up in a better world than you did. I’m not sure people your age understand how hard it was for us when we were your age.”
“I do.”
“Sure, but I don’t think you do. I—I didn’t…” He sighs. “I never meant to fall in love with Mitchell. He never meant to fall in love with me. There certainly were men in relationships in the Navy back then who could make it work—we weren’t those guys. We looked down on those guys. Most people did. And when you were an officer, your job security and your paycheck relied on your subordinates’ respect for you. If we’d rocked the boat, traded away our respect for our relationship, well, we’d have each other, but we’d be out of a job. And then, if we’d been fired—what did we kill all those people for? For nothing! What a waste of all the lives we took! It wouldn’t have been honorable. Would’ve disrespected the Navy, our careers, the men we killed. So we didn’t talk about our relationship. You know that. Didn’t talk about who we were, or what we were doing, or why, because we were afraid of losing our own honor. Didn’t talk about it until the day you two died and came back from the dead. That’s what it took. Maverick still hates talking about some of that stuff, all the labels, all the words—that’s why I sent him to get a bottle at the back of the fridge, he might be out there a while…”
“Cunning,” Bradley says softly, but leaves the space open after he speaks.
Tom looks away. “Maybe this is getting too deep into the weeds. I’m just trying to tell you what it’s been like for us. Not sure how much of this you want to hear.”
“All of it. —All of it.”
Tom clears his throat. “…Well, Maverick keeps trying to convince me that we never wasted any time. And I know there is some truth to that—we didn’t start out liking each other at all—even if we’d been as brave as people your age are nowadays, even if we’d been open with each other about that kind of stuff, we still probably wouldn’t have ended up together. I mean, we really didn’t like each other. Especially right after your dad died, and especially after you left, in two-thousand-two. So maybe it was better for us in the long run that we didn’t talk about it. But I look back on the thirty years I’ve spent with him, and…it still all feels like a waste to me.” Maybe he really is too deep into the weeds. But he just wants Bradley to understand. “Look, Mitchell is, beyond any possible shadow of a doubt, the love of my life. Always has been and always will be. Right? —I just wish I’d known that at the time. I’m jealous of you because you’re exactly the age I was when I came back to Miramar to be with you and your mom and Maverick, and you’re already married, and you won’t ever have to sacrifice any of your honor for your marriage. You’re one of the most respected men in the Navy.”
“So are you, Ice, and you’re also married to another man.”
“I’ll remind you, though it hurts a little, that I’m almost exactly a quarter-century older than you, and you and I got married within a week of each other. I had to wait for times to change.” He holds Bradley’s gaze for a moment, then finishes the last of his dinner and sets his fork down on his plate. “So, if you were ever wondering why Mav and I are a little bitter around you and Jake, well, it’s because we are.”
“Oh,” says Bradley. “See, I always thought it was just because you and Maverick are both notoriously bitter people.”
“We are,” Tom admits through a laugh. Then he continues, “But—you should also know how proud of you we both are. How proud of you we’ve both always been. We’re not very brave men—well, we are, of course, but maybe not in the way that matters. It’s pretty gratifying to have a kid who’s braver than you are. Every parent’s dream, whether we want to admit it or not. You’re brave enough for all of us.”
It’s at this moment that Pete opens the garage door and sticks his head inside and hollers, “Ice, I can’t find it. What about a merlot? Can we do a merlot?”
“No, baby, the sirah,” Tom answers without turning his head. “It’s on the second shelf, you might—have to rearrange some of the bottles—we have too much wine. We need to drink more, me and you.”
“Not a problem,” says Pete, and he shuts the door again.
“It’s on the third shelf,” Tom tells Bradley in an aside. “He’ll find it eventually. He would’ve tried to change the subject six times by now. —The previous Secretary of the Army—he actually just got married this week, I think; I need to send a card—also gay. He and his partner invited Maverick and me out to dinner the last time we were in D.C. Most uncomfortable I’ve ever seen Mav in my whole life. Asking us questions like, ‘How did you guys get together…?’ ‘Was it easier for you guys because you were in the Navy…?’ ‘When did you…know…?’” When Bradley laughs, Tom does, too. It’s really nice, it turns out, to joke about this stuff with someone who understands. “We just made our answers up out of thin air. I was uncomfortable too, admittedly. That’s what I’m saying. Mav and I never learned the vocabulary to answer questions like that.”
Bradley starts taking their plates to the sink. What a good kid. “You know,” he says from the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder when Tom joins him at the counter, “it’s so funny you bitch that you and Mav don’t have a romantic love story, or whatever. When I was a kid, you and him were literally the pinnacle of romance.”
“Oh, really.”
“Yeah. There’s something romantic about the secret, too. When Jake and I made our relationship official—the first time—I begged him to keep it a secret just for a little while. You know; it was sexy, for a few minutes! Something only he and I knew!”
“And you immediately discovered how awful it is, I’m sure,” Tom says noncommittally. “I’m jealous of you that you learned that lesson young. —Yeah, real romantic. Maverick and I could’ve ended each other’s careers fourteen thousand times over. Real romantic.”
“And trusted each other not to,” Bradley points out—
—which makes Tom reconsider. 
Yeah, okay, maybe it’s a little romantic. The way Grimm’s fairytales, once you wipe away all the blood, are just a little romantic. “I’m of the opinion that the only thing getting old is good for is looking back on your life through rose-colored glasses. Sure. Historical revisionism it is. It was a little romantic.”
“What’s a little romantic?” says Pete, stepping into the kitchen and triumphantly brandishing his 2004 petite sirah; “Have I missed something funny? —It was on the third shelf, by the way. Could’ve told me that before I went and reorganized the whole fridge.”
Tom graciously accepts the half-annoyed kiss to the cheek, and answers, “Nothing you would’ve laughed at, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, one of those conversations,” says Pete, hunting around in the drawer for the corkscrew. “If you were planning on continuing, I can go out and rearrange the wine bottles by region instead of by year—” and scoffs when Tom kisses him back to reassure him, conversation’s over.
“Did you know,” Bradley says, “your husband is now openly calling you the love of his life?”
“Oh, yeah,” says Pete with a smile, popping the cork from the bottleneck, “he tells me that all the time. Nothing new.” Tops up their glasses, then deftly changes the subject: “Oh, gosh. I never asked. This is the big news. How are you and Hangman enjoying SOUTHCOM?”
“Oh, God,” says Bradley, rolling his eyes. “Let me tell you…”
“I think we did good,” Pete says later that night—they’re alone now, so he’s fine talking—as he tugs loose the tucked sheets to clamber into bed, and when Tom moves to turn off the light he adds, “No, you can keep reading.”
Tom sets his book down onto his chest and pulls his glasses off anyway. “Well, you and I are known for doing ‘good,’” he muses after a second. “We’re pretty universally renowned for being good at stuff. But, regarding what in particular? —Raising our kid?”
“Yeah. We did good.”
Actually, they didn’t do very well at all. But of course that’s not what Pete means. Pete means: it’s shocking and stunningly fortunate that they did as poorly as they did and still somehow ended up with such a good kid. Tom’s looking up at the ceiling and feeling very small. “How did that happen? Genuinely, how did that happen? I did always build getting married into my plan for my life—but I never thought far enough ahead to consider having kids. And now you and I have a kid who’s in his thirties. How’d that happen? I remember when he could barely walk!”
Pete yawns and rolls over onto his side and closes his eyes. “You and I have a kid who earned a Medal of Honor.”
“I know exactly how that happened” —and doesn’t like to think about it too much. “I suppose we’re just a family of overachievers. A lot of failing upwards, you and me. Somehow we failed our way upwards into a very happy lifelong relationship, a superstar kid…a few dozen medals each, ourselves…”
“That’s life,” says Pete sleepily.
“That is not most people’s lives. You’re aware that our lives look nothing like the average person’s life, right? You understand that?”
“That’s our life.”
Tom considers this. Yeah, it is their life. Wild how that happens. 
He smiles at the singular word life, sets his book on the nightstand, presses a kiss to Pete’s bare shoulder, and turns off the light.
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natalyarose · 8 days
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𝒜𝓅𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 & 𝒮𝓎𝓂𝒷𝑜𝓁𝒾𝒸 𝒜𝓈𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓎 - 𝕍𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕜𝕙𝕒 🐅🌸
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using Mid-Mula Galactic Center ayanamsa ♥
Hey! So, many have fallen in love with the way Vedic astrology can be applied to understand appearance & symbolism in peoples' lives, and it constantly amazes me how much it makes sense. People have done a lot of phenomenal work analysing appearance & peoples' lives through Nakshatras, but I noticed that in a lot of these studies and compilations, there will be a couple of people included who kinda- don't fit? I've since learnt that it seems almost every time someone deviates from the patterns despite seemingly having the same placements; they are in fact a different Nakshatra when Applying Mid-Mula Galactic Center Ayanamsa. As always, I have no desire to pressure anyone else into using the same calculation, it's a personal journey- but I do aim to highlight the patterns I've seen 🩵
In this post I'm focusing on Vishakha natives- specifically Vishakha women; but you'll find a lot of these things apply to Vishakha men too anyway.
Vishakha Nakshatra is the Tiger yoni 🐅 As we know, tigers are fierce, they are known to be some of the strongest, fastest animals in the jungle & natives to Vishakha reflect that. Vishakha is known as 'the star of purpose'. Natives can feel an intense, passionate drive to fulfil a vision, or a sense of destiny. Being Jupiter ruled (the planet of expansion, fame, fortune, wisdom) & ruled by the powerful Vedic God, Indra 'King of the Gods'; Vishakha natives find themselves in a prime energetic position to have major influence . Once they find their footing in their career/goal, they can have major success and incredible power. Vishakha shines brightly in its courage, strength, power and influence.
You'll notice in the examples below, the intense focus & determined look in the eyes of Vishakha natives- like a tiger ready to pounce lol.
I've noticed Vishakha women (likely due to the Tiger yoni) often enjoy leopard or tiger print, so I've shown that in my examples. Also; I acknowledge that using examples who've had work done can be misleading so I've tried to balance it out!
Three of the women in this post are Swati Nakshatra in Lahiri- namely Priscilla, Kylie & Kendall; and I wanted to show them alongside other Vishakha ladies to demonstrate the significance of considering Mid-Mula Galactic Center ayanamsa.
𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓪 𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓵𝓮𝔂 - 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 (Swati in Lahiri) I've seen a strong theme of Vishakha women being known for their marriage. In fact, despite Vishakha & Jupiter's independent determined nature, Vishakha natives can intensely prioritise their marriage (Swati in contrast is loving, but not as enthused by the thought of being 'tied down'). The determination can be channelled into doing everything possible to make their marriages and other partnerships work out. Vishakha's connection to marriage is seen through its symbol being 'a triumphant archway'; directly related to the decorative archways we see in marriage celebrations & victory ceremonies.
While she of course had her own vibrant career; Priscilla was and still is especially famous for her marriage to Elvis. The most famous photos of her being her gorgeous self on their wedding day. It is said that Vishakha natives can get married young, which is true of Priscilla. Vishakha women often end up being the provider in partnerships- literally or emotionally. She is famous for her beauty also which can be a theme with Vishakha since it is mostly in sidereal Libra- associated with beauty, love, partnerships, etc.
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𝓛𝓪𝓷𝓪 𝓓𝓮𝓵 𝓡𝓮𝔂 - 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 𝓐𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓷𝓽 Lana is another Vishakha woman who gives it all in relationships and we hear of this through her music. She also has that incredibly wide breadth of influence we see with Jupiter Nakshatras (especially Vishakha)- there are a lot of people who have achieved a level of fame, but having influence over the people to the point that you are worshipped is a different thing; and Lana has it. Vishakha's Shakti, meaning its power, is to achieve. The abundance this woman has in the way of creativity, wealth, power, intelligence, etc. is very Vishakha- Vishakha is directly associated with the word victory etymology-wise too.
Lana worked hard for years pursuing her goals in music; and of course that hard work came to fruition.
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𝓚𝔂𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻 - 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 (Swati in Lahiri). I have seen research floating around on how Vishakha natives can often have a 'glow up' of sorts where they really take charge of their image and actively choose to embody an extremely seductive energy. Achieving magnetic power through their appearance. This is seen in Kylie's famous 'reinvention'. Again, she radiates this intensity, purpose, is very business driven etc. Whilst Swati radiates this airy sweetness, Vishakha radiates Lord Indra & Jupiter's sheer sense power & easily inspires a sense of worship from people.
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𝓚𝓪𝓽𝔂 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 - 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 & 𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓾𝓶 (Swati Sun however- but notice how she has the more 'air-y' quality that the others don't due to this placement?) Katy Perry is another star who in her 'prime time' of fame was more than just another famous person; she had hugeee influence the way we see in Vishakha. Little girls everywhere were singing her songs & she was inescapable on the radio (not that that's a bad thing lol, her songs are vibes). Her song 'roar' and the video to it is incredibly Vishakha but also Swati- the song is in essence about getting back up on your feet and being determined even when someone knocks you down. I talked about in this write-up how in Swati there is a direct theme of natives being discouraged and needing to have faith in themselves and remember their gifts. In Vishakha there is a full embodiment of this power.
Aside from that, of course the song being called 'Roar' & the tiger/leopard/jungle imagery is as Vishakha as it gets!
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𝓑𝓮𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮 - 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 I confess, I really don't know much about Beyonce but I do know that she's got an incredible amount of influence! She is often referred to as the 'Queen'; which makes direct sense since Vishakha's ruler (Indra) is the king of the gods, so there is this theme of Vishakha energy being regarded as godly again. She is known for her incredibly powerful vocals too which we see a lot in Jupiter Nakshatras, Jupiter ruling the throat & the element of 'sound'. Beyonce and her marriage to Jay-Z is very famous, them both being artists in the public eye.
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𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻, 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓱𝓪 𝓢𝓾𝓷 (Swati in Lahiri) - side note that I've noticed all of the Kardashian sisters have a strong Tiger yoni Nakshatra in their chart with the exception of Kourtney. Kim with Chitra Sun & Mercury in Vishakha as her chart ruler, Kylie with Vishakha Moon, Kendall with Vishakha Sun, Khloe with Vishakha Mars ruling her Sun in Dhanishta & Moon in Mrigasira... I don't know much about the Kardashians aside from what's obvious in the media, but I found this so interesting and telling of the power and influence prominent Vishakha/tiger yoni natives can fall into. Of course, Kendall really embodies Vishakha appearance-wise too.
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Something cool to think about is that while Vishakha is so intimately connected to themes of beauty, power, infIuence, achievement, success & abundance, it is interestingly a Mleccha nakshatra; meaning 'outcaste'. As one can deduct from the name, Mleccha nakshatras are associated with 'shunning' and being a social pariah, even being regarded as animalistic. Mleccha Nakshatras deviate from the crowd in some way, they make a statement. It makes sense that a Mleccha Nakshatra be strongly associated with fame & influence, since those who are truly influential must be doing something original, or 'different' to what's already been seen/done. Even if that simply means being controversial. I've seen themes of Mleccha heavy people being shamed for their more 'outside the box' nature, and then getting their 'revenge' in a sense, later gaining extreme abundance due to that very same quality they were initially outcasted for.
I'll have to do a more formal/in depth write up on Vishakha sometime, this was more of a casual post to highlight the ayanamsa discrepancy and some connections.
I hope this is enjoyed by/interesting to someone! ♡
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starastrologyy · 2 years
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Astrology Observations♟
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Please do not repost any of my work on other social media platforms 🤍
Edit: please note that I’m attempting to be very neutral and I have not stated my personal opinions on her. However, Nicki Minaj is the PERFECT example of the effects of having a Scorpio Midheaven! People are obsessed with her. For better or for worse. The ‘Barbz’ have literally stabbed people, and beat up someone’s mother over her. Whilst, many musicians, and people in general cannot stand her, because they feel like she’s a bully. She is someone who is extremely polarizing. People become unhinged trying to defend her , whilst others enjoy the fact that there are large groups of people who strongly dislike her. This is the result of having a Scorpio Midheaven in a nutshell.
Whilst having Venus conjunct the Ascendant is often associated with “good looks” I actually think that it really helps with your reputation, and how people perceive you. I will use celebrity examples! Selena Gomez has an Aries Moon (this isn’t shade to Aries moons) and her mercury makes very difficult aspects (squares Pluto/ opposes Saturn) Thus, one would assume she’d be controversial or well known for her temper/outbursts & tendency to attract conflict. But the opposite is actually true, anyone who is perceived to be “shading” her immediately gets attacked, as most people think she’s very kind and genuine. Whilst she has admitted that her relationship with Justin was mutually toxic, most people just can’t seem to see her as the aggressor. Her Venus makes a conjunction to her Ascendant. Beyoncé, Rihanna, Anna Nicole Smith,Angelina Jolie are more celebrities with this placement. What I’m essentially trying to say is, people tend to give you more grace when your Venus makes a conjunction to your natal Ascendant.
It’s common to see people who have the ruler of their 5th house placed in the 10th monetize a creative hobby. Their career often involves making use of one of their creative/artistic skills. Working in the entertainment industries is very common with this placement. Working with children in some way, is also a possibility.
Libra on the 9th house cusp can suggest you studied law, political science, or anything that involves diplomacy at college. Alternatively, you could have trained to become an esthetician or a cosmetologist.
Chiron, Pluto, Mars & Saturn in the 11th house culture is rarely feeling as if your ‘friends’ have your best interests at heart. Having any of these planets in the 11th house can be extremely isolating! It can cause you to feel alone, or perhaps as if you struggle to find a group of people that you resonate with (on a friendship level).
A solar return year in which you have many 8th house placements, will be a year in which you experience many “life changing” moments. Most people fear having planets in the 8th house in their solar return, so they opt to travel to a different location on their birthday. However, I feel like this isn’t necessary! Change and transformation doesn’t always have to be viewed as bad! Sometimes we need change to elevate us in life.
A while ago, an Astrologer on YouTube stated that whenever she sees a Gemini rising, or Gemini placements in a composite chart, she automatically thinks there is cheating involved. I don’t know how I feel about this sentiment. She explained that because of the Dual nature of of the Sign Gemini; it more often than not represents a third party, or external influences that are influencing the relationship. I see where she’s coming from, but I don’t necessarily think it’s wise to always interpret it like that. I personally believe the aspects that are being made in the composite chart will tell you a lot more about what it’s likely to occur in the relationship. If there are tons of squares to Mercury, Venus, Neptune, Saturn & the chart ruler, I’m more inclined to believe that there is the potential for deception.
People with Juno in the 12th or a Pisces Descendent, often have a subconscious “savior complex”. They are usually highly compassionate, and might find that they have a tendency to attract people who have been wounded by life or those who lack boundaries.
A solar return year, in which you have planets in the 2nd,8th, & 11th houses, also known as the “money houses” can suggest that you will earn or receive a large amount of money that year. Alternatively, you may experience a significant change in your financial situation. You want to look at the aspects of course! (Trines & sextiles are more likely to manifest positively, whereas the conjunction can go either way).
When transit Uranus makes a square to your Natal Ascendant or Midheaven, those around you may view your newfound behavior as being strange or erratic. You are likely to go through many unpredictable changes during this transit consequently, you will start to experience changes in your personality, which will impact your relationships. You may find that you no longer resonate with the people around you, and abruptly decide to move, or make a change in your friendship circle. This is a very unpredictable time in your life, and your behavior will reflect this.
Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders (please don’t continue reading if topics like this make you uncomfortable. My intention is never to harm anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable 🤍)
I’ve noticed that any kind of Saturnian influence over the 1st, 2nd & 6th house can bring about poor body image or restrictive tendencies when it comes to food. For example, having Saturn in the 1st, 2nd or 6th house! Or perhaps Saturn is negatively aspecting planets in those houses. Capricorn over these houses can also bring about a food complex. Obviously not everyone with Saturn in these houses will have a restrictive eating disorder, it’s just an observation so please don’t make it apply if it doesn’t 🤍
On the other hand, a Jupiterian influence on the 1st. 2nd, and 6th house can manifest as binge eating or turning to food as a coping mechanism. This can be having Jupiter in the 1st, 2nd, or 6th house. Alternatively, this dynamic can also occur when Sagittarius is over one of those houses.
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keiko-cornetto · 10 days
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Contrary to what “catphiles” think, for most people cats are bad, egocentric, individualistic and completely insensitive animals. In fact, the film industry has been saying this for years, as the world is the world and Disney is Disney. However, there are some approaches, like the film The Aristocats, in which the good guys are (incredibly) THE CATS! OOOOOOH! And this is actually the only exception, because in all other cases felines are the cruel ones in the movies.
While dogs participate in films filled with love, cats in cinema are generally associated with villains.
Disney
Dogs are by far the population's favorite animals. Due to the ease of acquiring and maintaining at home, they have become ideal partners for anyone who has a pet at home. Cats come next in this dispute and associating a “rivalry” between animals (very associated with films), created this duel between pets and naturally those who have fewer fans end up being the “villains” of the story, in this case the cats
I can mention here several cartoons, books and films with the figure of the cat associated with the villain. Obviously, it's not just the same ones that tend to be associated with the villain, just look at the wolves that are also widely used. The thing is that it has even become a culture to create a production and place the cat as the villain because it is easier to associate and less complicated, even in several cartoons, such as Sylvester being less of a villain than
Sincerely? I have NOTHING against dogs, they are all beautiful, intelligent animals and deserve respect for their feelings, but the whole world has a wrong view about the personality of cats, aaaah yes they do!
So, let's get to the point: Another photo gallery, featuring the best-known feline villains in the history of cinema and television.
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You've seen her in every Sylvester and Tweety cartoon you've watched. In them, Sylvester is always shown as a malevolent and stupid cat, whose only objective in life, to eat Tweety, is frustrated at every attempt by the canary's supposed superior intelligence. Sylvester and Tweety, who already existed separately in cinema, were coupled in 1949 by a Warner Bros. designer, Friz Freleng. In other words, for 51 years, children all over the world
Jerry the mouse, from Tom and Jerry, is perhaps even worse. Alone or with his minion, the mouse Spit, Jerry tortured the honest, sincere and gullible cat Tom in no less than 160 cartoons for the cinema, from 1940 to 1967. The creators of the duo were Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera (in fact, also responsible due to the impoverishment of cartoons with the "simplified animation" technique, which they invented when they started producing for television in the 60s). The latest designs were already delegated by Hanna and Barbera to bagrinhos, but the initial concept of the series never changed; While trying to protect his home from the presence of the parasitic and disgusting Jerry, Tom is electrocuted at the socket, set on fire in the fireplace, drowned in the sink, crushed by pianos and blasted through the ceiling. Insensitive and perverse boys watch this laughing in front of the TV - and probably repeat such violence with their cats.
There are no cat heroes in these powerful opinion makers that are cartoons. The heroes are always dogs, rabbits, ducks and, incredibly, especially a muddy mouse who hasn't made a film in 47 years and, even so, remains a symbol of a cartoon empire – have you ever heard the sound of Mickey Mouse? Walt Disney himself, although always careful that his studio did not offend anyone) was unable to hide his prejudice: in his films, the dog is the noble animal (see Lady and the Tramp and 101 Dalmatians, not to mention the 44 drawings of Pluto and 42 of Goofy made between 1940 and 1965). Nothing against that and Walt could like whatever animals he wanted. It turns out that almost all of his most famous drawings are also Anti-Cat
In Pinocchio, one of the villains is a weak and filthy cat who helps the fox deceive the doll. In Cinderella, the fat and treacherous cat Lucifer is a frightening threat to the mice Gus and Jaq. (clean rats that do not transmit any danger to humanity) In Alice in Wonderland, the Cheshire cat is far from being a sympathetic character – he knows that Alice could get into trouble and does nothing to stop it.
(I particularly love this cat)
In Lady and the Tramp, Si and Am are the two Siamese who destroy the curtains, attack the canary and the goldfish and attack the family's baby, causing the chaos that will send Lady to the cart.
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And even in The Aristocats, which is supposed to be a pro-cat film, there are a handful of nasty stray cats on the scene, and the hero turns out to be, in fact, a mouse named Roquefort. And it's worth remembering that, in Mickey's very first cartoon, Steamboat Willie, from 1926, he tortures and executes a cat by turning it by its tail and throwing it into the sea. Come to think of it, Disney couldn't really like cats - he got rich building human mousetraps like Disneyland and Disney World.
It is normal that cinema has never done for cats what it has done for countless dogs, since Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin; cats refuse to be actors and it is impossible to train them to do things that dogs, seals and even elephants accept naturally, such as climbing stools, doing somersaults or balancing balls on their noses - the intelligence, dignity and independence of cats does not allow them to play these humiliating roles. It is only possible to make a film like Stuart Little, in which the cats seem to "do" things, by filming them naturally and adapting the scenes to the script, when not altering them electronically
but remember that all cinema portrays cats like this
as a cartoon that really disappointed me because it was one of my favorites, it's Shaun the sheepwhere the cat is shown as a villain and is evil in every episode
There are people who say that cats in cartoons like Lady and Tramp are villains because the story is portrayed through the eyes of dogs where cats will always be the villainsbut because when the cartoon is about cats, dogs are never villains, since dogs don't like cats, cats are afraid of dogs and in cat cartoons their friends are dogs
For those who love cats, don't be sad as there are many, many animes that don't portray the cat as a villain
In fact, cats have more space in anime than dogs, there are hero cats, there are villain cats, there are all types of catsCats are everywhere, it doesn't matter if the cat isn't there there will always be something that reminds you of the cat like clothes or cat ears in anime
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44 cats and superkitties and they're really good
another very good film coraline:
and as always, those who don't like cats have theories that the cat was the biggest villain in the film
but I disagree since the cat always helped Coraline, even at the end when she wanted to open the door the cat went ahead because he knew she was in danger
This was the post about the poor cats, this post is not originally mine, I just added some things and I also didn't make this post with the intention of offending anyone.bye Bye
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neonscandal · 3 months
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something I wanted to understand, the author said that satoru was quite a womanizer, but then he said that geto was much more popular among women than satoru I didn't understand
Technically, the author said that they didn't see Gojo being faithful to one or a certain woman not that he was a womanizer.
With what we know about Gojo (and Gege Akutami's trolling ways, for that matter), I think that's up for interpretation.
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FAN INTERPRETATION
Fans really took that sentiment and kind of ran with it because, to us, Gojo is high spec in every way. Canonically good looking, tall, competent at like.. everything according to Akutami, strong and presumably loaded. Of course someone like that would be a womanizer, right?
Except Gojo is an oversized child who still kinda refers to Digimon in conversation and primarily hangs out with 16 year olds. People project a lot of their BS onto him because they can't imagine ticking all those boxes and not being an asshole. But he’s a corny dork who is seemingly impervious to the outright disdain of most of the people around him. IT’S COMICAL. Personally, I think this interpretation is incorrect, demonstrably.
The other side of the fandom is naturally like... well of course he couldn't stay faithful to one woman. He's been faithful to Geto for ten years! I think we know what camp I've pitched my tent in *gestures vaguely to the rest of my blog* Especially when you bear in mind that Gege Akutami specifically designed Gojo and Geto to be intrinsic complements of one another.
CANON
I'm not so SatoSugu addled (once the brain rot sets in, it's terminal) that I am unable to disclose the secret third way we can interpret this. Canonically, when we look at Gojo as a character... it almost makes sense to assume he's simply not interested in dating at all.
Empirically finds it hard to relate to others
Even when he does care for others, he's still emotionally shallow and aware of it
Gojo clan leader with all associated unpleasantries and responsibilities from a young age
Single benefactor to two children; assumes direct responsibility over two more by staving off their execution
First line of defense for all of jujutsu society
Has a grand design of toppling said jujutsu society
Has experienced devastating loss which informs the grand design of his life's mission and he's always plotting, even when it comes to the seemingly altruistic act of "adopting" the Fushiguro kids or pressing Yuta and Yuji to learn under his care. When you consider that context, it furthers the idea that he's pretty divorced from emotion. Like, he wants them to have a childhood but its still at the pleasure of his convenience and ultimate purpose.
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LOOK at this gorgeous, gorgeous boy from pop layer art because I need it and, when I covet, you must also covet. Edit: I'd accidently copied the wrong link there! It's been fixed 💙
In universe, we've seen maybe two canonical couples: Yuta & Rika and Hakari & Kirara (to be animated). This supports the fact that Gege's not really concerned with injecting "romance" into the plot unnecessarily. Undeniably and supporting the SatoSugu agenda, however, is the fact that JJK 0 very much aligned Gojo & Geto with Yuta & Rika with the theme coming to a head in season 2 with Gojo's sealment. For clarity, I mean how love ultimately cursed Rika and Geto after death by Yuta's begging her not to leave and Gojo not properly disposing of Geto's body. Love turned Rika into a curse and allowed Kenjaku to swoop in on Geto.
GETO'S POPULARITY
Geto is, quite literally, popular with everyone in universe and that was before he became a cult leader... which also indicates a predilection for popularity, I guess? As a character, he is principled, thoughtful, gentle and strong. I think, collectively, we tend to toil over the fact that Gojo spent more time missing Geto than he actually knew him. But... that's the same for Shoko and Nanami. After Geto's defection, Nanami couldn't forsake him even if he morally couldn't approve of his actions. Over ten years later as the night parade of a hundred demons is set to take place, Yaga starts saying something along the lines of finally getting rid of the scourge that is Suguru Geto and Shoko makes it a point to leave. I think it's because, after everything, she still holds affection and pity for Geto and would rather not hear him being bad-mouthed for breaking under the pressure of things.
He was the best of them, after all.
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pvffinsdaisies · 2 months
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Ireland Headcanon Masterpost
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Artwork drawn by @nordickies
Part three of creating master posts for my interpretation of certain characters & nations. This time we’re doing the lovely miss Ireland! Who has been occupying my mind a lot recently. Before we get into it, I want to say that I have not been developing Ireland for even half as long as I have been every other character I have. She’s been a floating concept in my mind for years, but I only actually started to develop her properly last month. For most of the time I’ve had her, she’s just been a pretty face and a name, and I’ve been having so much fun actually exploring her. If you enjoy reading her information, I’ve also made posts for Scotland and my OC of Northumbria, both of those posts are going to be much longer than this one is.
I want to emphasise that I am no history expert, and I do not even wish to be associated with historical hetalia. However, as I am from England, it means I am treading a very fine line with my portrayal. That being said, if anyone from Ireland sees this post and takes issue with anything I say here, I encourage you to reach out and correct me! I am still learning, and, as I’ve said before, my portrayal is still very new.
PHYSICAL
Ireland stands at about 5’5, or about 165cm. Making her about the average height for an Irish woman. She still gets teased by Scotland for being “short.”
She has pretty small features. Small, green eyes, a tiny little button nose, and a small mouth with thin lips. She is very pretty, but she still looks quite approachable.
She has long, beautiful ginger hair. It’s pretty wavy, her natural texture is 2c, but she styles it pretty often. Her siblings have always loved to tease her about her hair- the colour and texture- so she’s pretty insecure about it.
She’s very good at styling her hair because of this, though she’s no longer a massive fan of fancy up does. She insists she’s no good on hair that isn’t her own, but she taught most of her siblings how to do at least a plait growing up.
Ireland is covered in freckles, from head to toe.
Her skin is naturally very pale, but it’s also very sensitive, and can turn red pretty easily. She always has to be careful about the stuff she puts on, or else she’ll come out in a rash.
She has a tooth gap between her two front teeth, it represents the River Shannon, the longest river in Ireland.
She has a rectangle body shape, although she used to be a bit curvier when she was younger.
Once rounder and softer, her body still hasn’t returned to how it looked before the potato famine of the 1800s. Her size is far healthier now, but she’s still quite thin and boney. Ireland is not her ideal size, and wishes she could gain a bit more weight to feel more comfortable.
That being said, her bottom is actually pretty plump. Representing the mountains that lie around the edge of Ireland.
Whilst she does like to wear make up every now and then, she’s actually pretty bad at it. Her application can be patchy, and she’s not the best at matching shades. It’s nothing you’ll notice straight away, however, and she genuinely does feel prettier when she wears it.
She has the Triskelion, or the Celtic Spiral Knot, tattooed on the inside of her upper, right arm. The symbol has different meanings depending on who you ask, but she had it tattooed to represent the continuous of life, and moving forward. It was also just a way for her personally to show that she will never, ever let her culture be stripped from her.
PERSONALITY
Ever the extrovert, Ireland is friendly and welcoming to everyone she meets. She has a natural ease about her, and a remarkable ability to make people comfortable around her quickly. Within 2 sentences, you could easily feel as though you’ve known her your entire life. Like you’re laughing and joking with an old friend.
Much like her brother, Scotland, Ireland is remarkable at comedy and making people laugh, she firmly believes a good sense of humour goes a long way. Her humour is a bit more lighthearted and witty than the rest of her siblings.
Ireland shows her affection through teasing and sarcasm. It’s how she jokes with her friends, and the more she teases you, the more she likes you. It could come across as mean, but her tone is usually playful enough to not cause harm.
Her culture truly means everything to her, and she loves sharing it with people. She actually loves meeting tourists, she loves telling them stories of her people, and she actually isn’t opposed to sharing her past with them. She will proudly gives them ideas of other places in Ireland to visit, and things to do, she hopes that everyone who takes the time to come visit leaves happy and smiling, having had a fun, interesting and informative experience.
However, she is also extremely protective and defensive of herself, her culture and her past. After years of oppression, being ignored and spoken over, who can blame her? She isn’t too appreciative when someone speaks on her behalf, she doesn’t like other’s sharing information without consulting her directly. She is vocal, and not afraid to step up and correct people, and put them in their place.
Empathy is where Ireland truly shines. Easily feeling and immediate connection with and understanding for those going through hardship. She will always be an advocate for the underdog, for those whose voices are not being properly heard. She longs to provide the compassion, and the feeling of having someone in your corner, that she lacked when she was suffering.
That being said, she can be very judgmental, and she’s a huge gossiper. She usually attempts to soften it by saying something like “and, god love them” or “god, bless their heart” or “but who am I to judge?” as though she’s not just been talking shit for the past hour.
Ireland cannot hide her feelings, and she doesn’t see the need to. She’s very open when she’s happy, upset, angry etc.
For as open a person as she can be, she still hasn’t quite processed her hurt and her negative feelings correctly. Choosing to brush it off, and pretend she no longer cares. She can grow very resentful because of this, but she absolutely refuses to accept this may be a problem.
Ireland can be feisty and fiery if need be, she knows how to defend herself and she will! She’s never been shy, no matter what, and she won’t let someone walk all over her. She never has, and she never will go down without a fight. She prides herself on this.
Ireland is extremely laid back, she’s not prone to jealousy or possessiveness, and she’s certainly not over-protective about anything. She doesn’t see the point of trying to cling onto someone, it all just seems pointless.
HOBBIES
Ireland is creative mind, and one of her best skills is gold-smithing and her ability to work with metals. She prefers to make her own jewellery, and she loves making fancy and intricate broaches especially. However, she mainly does smaller projects now, as her workshop is merely a cleared out space in her basement. She’d love to find a bigger place to rent out.
You will rarely ever find someone who’s a better storyteller than Ireland, she truly has a way with words. Be it short stories, poems or songs, she excels at it. She absolutely loved to share her stories with her siblings when they were growing up.
Music means a lot to Ireland, she wouldn’t know who she is without it, and as well as writing songs, she also sings. She doesn’t have the best voice, but it’s pretty and melodic. It’s soft and calming, and she has fine technic. But it’s certainly nothing special.
She also plays the harp, which she’s very skilled with.
Ireland loves a party and celebration, and she always goes all in. She seemingly never gets tired, or never needs to go home to rest, she can just keep going.
On a calmer note, she also loves just sitting in a pub and having a few casual drinks. Doesn’t need to be a celebration. She especially loves a proper Irish bar, and she almost has a sixth sense where she can find one wherever she goes.
Speaking of bars, Ireland is pretty good at snooker. She’s no hobbyist though. She and Scotland are at pretty much an equal level, and they’re the only two in the family who stand a chance of beating one another.
She loves a good walk around the countryside, and she’s always driving out of the city to have a stroll. Though she will constantly complain about the sheep blocking the road.
She does boxing, though she’s still a very low level beginner, and definitely not good enough to go up against anyone yet. It was a hobby she picked up a few years back, to try and help her build some strength and muscle.
As well as sharing her own, Ireland absolutely loves taking the time to learn about other cultures of the world too. Every time she has a meeting in a foreign country that she doesn’t visit too often, she tries to see and do as many cultural things as she can outside of work. She absolutely loves travelling.
She adores animals, she firmly believes they’re smarter than humans give them credit for, and she loves to draw them! She’s not the most skilled artist, she really only does sketch work in a sketch book. She rarely attempts to colour in, or smooth out the lines.
Ireland’s favourite, and her comfort show, is Father Ted, she puts it on whenever she’s upset. Without fail, it will always make her laugh, even if she’s seen every episode about 1000 times already.
Ireland enjoys knitting, alongside some of her other family members. She pretty much exclusively knits all of her own cardigans herself.
LIFESTYLE
Ireland uses the human name Saoirse Ó Raghallaigh, which later got anglicised to Saoirse O’Reilly. Between the use of these different spellings, she was forced to take the name Kirkland for a time. She changed it back following independence, but used the new spelling to help blend in with her people.
Irish is her first language, and she is determined to help keep the language alive. She offers tutoring lessons for people (Irish or not) to learn the language. Unfortunately, she’s not the best at teaching.
Alongside Irish, she also knows English, ISL (Irish Sign Language), Latin and BSL (British Sign Language). She knows a little bit of Manx and Scottish Gaelic.
Saoirse currently lives in Dublin. She used to own a farmhouse, but following independence she decided it’d be best to move to the city. She sometimes misses her old house, and you’ll catch her reminiscing on it. She doesn’t hate city life, though.
She is incredibly family oriented. If you ask Saoirse, family always has and always should come first. As the oldest, she helped raise all her siblings the best she could. She always felt closest to Northern Ireland and Scotland when they were growing up, and whilst she & Scotland are still close to this day, things with N. Ireland have been better. Their relationship has recently been… strained, to put it nicely. Saoirse is still waiting for the day when they can be close again. She never has and never will stop reaching out.
Ireland does not have any pets. However, for most of her life, she had a Wolf friend who would always find its way back to her no matter where she travelled. She did not own this wolf, it was free and was part of a pack, however, it was supposedly immortal, like many hetalia pets. It was killed in the 1700s. Ireland has a picture of it that she drew herself hung up in her living room.
In terms of religious beliefs, Saoirse would describe herself as “Catholic Pagan.” She might get some strange looks from foreigners who hear this term, but her religious beliefs combine both Catholicism and Celtic Paganism. She believes in the Lord, and in Jesus, but also believes in and sees traditional folk creatures. She seeks guidance and truth in tales from both religions.
Out of all of her siblings, Ireland is probably the worst driver. She usually is not in front of the wheel when someone else is in the car, because they don’t feel entirely safe in the car when she drives.
Saoirse is so bad when it comes to procrastination. She’s perhaps too laid back in that aspect. She doesn’t like to rush anything, and will continue to push back things she needs to do until she can actually be bothered. If anyone calls her out on it, she’ll blame the weather, saying something like, “have you seen how it’s raining out there? It’s not fit to do anything!”
She has a small fairy friend who lives at the bottom of her garden, named Órlaith, who likes to sneak inside the house and cause trouble when Saoirse isn’t in. Otherwise, you can sometimes see her fluttering above her shoulder. It’s not uncommon for the pair of them to gossip together about certain people they meet.
You’ll never not see her without a cup of tea. She perhaps has too much of it, drinking multiple cups at home, and taking some out with her in a travel mug if she’s going somewhere. If she’s visiting someone, she’ll be sat waiting to be offered a cup of tea. She drinks the most out of the whole family, which drives england nuts. She’ll get grumpy if she doesn’t have a cup of tea on a morning.
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sunshades · 5 months
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grief in the city, or "how many days off will i get when my lover dies of consumption next march"
Expanding from this post (@puffles HI) or mostly just trying to write it out in a readable fashion. (lor spoilers ahead yeehaw 📚)
Just been thinking. Death in the pmverse city. It's not something you're really allowed to get personal with. But some people just can't help it.
In lobocorp we get a look at what it's like from the inside of a corporation, and like yeah the entire story is about it, but to me Yesod's parts more than anyone else's showcase this feeling.
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(Yesod core suppression dialogue)
The question of detachment comes up pretty often, and he points out Malkuth's as the ideal behavior to cope with it- forgetting you're dealing with humans as much as you can. Through his arc in lobocorp he struggles with it, this idea that it can all be fine if he stops thinking of the others as having a face, a name, and most importantly (for him) a body. Of course a strategy like that stops working as soon as one remembers, as one gets closer. That is one of the main themes of lor.
We're introduced to Xiao midway through the game, and her story unfolds as we start to learn about Roland's. The way she describes herself is similar to how A talks about Yesod, though Xiao doesn't feel special for it. The softness of her (at the time) coworker Lowell confounds her.
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(Xiao's key page)
Then the invitation reaches her, and therefore the news of Lowell's death, and this changes. Her reaction is intense, she describes it vividly. And it feels... kind of natural considering the martial culture of her workplace? Specifically for an Association whose mechanics literally run off emotion levels.
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(Liu S1 reception)
But we immediately see that no, to everyone else this seems like an overreaction to losing a partner. We see it from Chun's reaction, then Angela's, who suggests she simply finds a substitute for Lowell, and Roland himself is surprised by it: he muses about the Light influencing the people of the City: this is such a strange thing it gets compared to the goddamn Distortion! When we take a look at Lowell's own book it seems to confirm that out of the two he's always been the one with the more unconventional mindset.
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(Lowell's key page)
It's not groundbreaking to say one should care about their partner, but it feels like in the City this isn't really the case? It feels like having someone you cherish becomes something of a nuisance as it can interfere with a Fixer's ability to... well, work. Roland, though affected for obvious reasons, tells Angela about it briefly enough, and it seems it's not particularly noteworthy, having romantic entanglements but also losing them pretty quickly. It's something that happens, that you're supposed to deal with easily enough, and go back to work.
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(Liu S2 second reception)
Instead Xiao's feelings lead her to do the direct opposite; it's noteworthy that before her reception she resigns from the Association, and immediately justifies herself to her subordinates by letting them know this shouldn't affect their careers. It's worth noting that Roland's story is marked by a similar situation, once he's exposed in his revenge quest, he loses his Color title as well as his Fixer grade. In both situations we find that the question of how to deal with Survival (being a survivor to the person you love) can't escape from the problem of Survival (how to make a living). The death of another puts you in actual danger if you actually care about them.
In light of this, Lowell's hopes and promises for Xiao read differently. His apparent softness and sensitivity reveals itself as something he can handle very rationally; aware of how deeply their feelings run, he asks her to vow to always watch over herself.
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(Liu S1 reception)
Instead Xiao, and we later learn about Roland, embrace the horror of what's happened to them, and show us what it's like to go into the deep end of this grief; it's a deviation from what we might consider normal or #HEALTHY, but it's also a display of feeling that usually people of the City just... don't allow themselves to have. I don't wanna ramble about this too long, but since limbus vaguely uses the Divine Comedy as a source, in Dante terms I would say: while Xiao and Roland commit sins of excess of love, letting their anger over their loved ones take them over, the people of the City in general commit the sin of sloth, "laziness of the heart", it's people who refuse to let any kind of attachment in their heart, because it's simply easier not to deal with them. Roland's arc touches on it quite often.
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(Natural Sciences realization)
Though Roland does eventually turn out to be, well. A big deal, a lot of his behavior in the library is supposed to show him as a kind of everyman of the City. In moments where he talks like this, he's expressing what it actually feels like for most people to live in there. This heavily contrasts with Xiao's own beliefs, the ones she develops through her love, and that leads to her EGO manifestation.
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(Liu S1 reception)
By the end we also know that the truth is Roland's own mindset isn't quite the one he tries to preach ("that's that and this is this"), but the grief over the loss of Angelica, and more generally the pain for the life he's always had, still weighs so heavy on him he isn't able to just start again- he doesn't want to! As the stories goes on and he faces the horrors of the City together with Angela, even this facade of "sloth" fades away, and his actual feelings start to show, the love and the anger and all of the grief- he starts to resonate with the abnos as Angela did, a similar experience to distorting.
While Roland has a lot of interesting dialogue, it'd take a whole other post to talk about it (I'm sure someone smarter has done it already) so for the purposes of this and to keep on topic I only wanna talk about a little bit that Xiao doesn't touch on, and that feels relevant with the perspective of canto VI.
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(Black Silence "soulmates" reception)
In one of the darkest moments, we get a (can I say it now?) ⛈ HEARTBREAKING ⛈ confession straight from the inside of Roland's mind, the fear that in choosing to move on he'll have abandoned Angelica and all they meant for each other. The "pair of linked souls" is tied on a mechanical level, to beat them you need to disrupt their soul link, a buff they give each other that makes them basically unbeatable- they keep each other alive. Roland's fear, after years of Fixer work, after seeing how little value a person's life has in the eyes of the City, is this: that the second he looks away from Angelica's death and his attempt to avenge it, he'll have forsaken her forever, that their love and life together will lose its meaning.
Only with the help of the librarians and particularly Angela he's able to accept that's not the case, and in the final reception he once again wields her name and her gloves, carrying on her legacy and memory for the sake of the future and the new people he wants to protect.
Finally, I wanna show an incredibly interesting piece of dialogue from Leviathan, between Vergilius and Carmen.
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(Leviathan chapter 18, translation by @/SnakeskinFS on twitter)
Now, Carmen's take on love is... something. Love as she means it is what we know to bring to Distortion, but it is interesting that the actual implication in the world she draws up is what the people of the City need back is contact with one another, understanding. It's also interesting Vergilius calls it a word he's unaccustomed to. Obviously here it doesn't apply strictly to romantic love, but this does check out with how little we get to see City residents... well, loving each other.
Xiao for Lowell, Roland for Angelica, as well as honestly Carmen for herself, her vision for the future, stand out in crowds of cordial coworkers and friends of circumstances, for the strength of their feelings, love in its danger and beauty. The paths they end up following are messy, some very bloody, and done in remembrance of the people they valued above all else. It's the theme of love that entwines so closely with that of death, the question of what you do when you're the one surviving and left behind.
So here's where I think of canto VI- WH is so heavily defined by grief. This is partially tied to its literary influences, partially to the author's own experience, but the story is scarred by the various funerals, each of which changes someone's life, mostly for the worse.
Is this malicious? A little. A little... not? Like in the City, the feeling is that the dead, the memory of them, follow because they love the living. When we get to Cathy's death, she and Heathcliff curse each other back and forth before making peace again, but in the end more than their harshness, what hits the most is the connection, the yearning to be reunited- "I care nothing of your sufferings" is soon followed by "I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have", which leads into the Heartbreaking speech, that we already know will be very relevant in the canto, in which Heathcliff takes her pain as his.
NOW I see readings/speculation around that this will be portrayed as lcb Cathy trying to tie Heathcliff to his past forever/them needing to Kill Her, and metaphorically his affection for her in order for him to move on and become his own person, to which I say: meh? I think that misses part of the point, makes her out to be a plot device instead of a character that, like him, has grown in an awful abusive household, and laments in her deathbed that she wishes things had been different, and that the person she loves could stay with her longer, after circumstances beyond their control have forced them apart.
By the end of it, though we know that in the book it doesn't really turn out like she'd like, Cathy claims she'd rather him remember her words, and her, as harsh and cruel than nurse anger while he lives on, she hates the thought that he should suffer more when she's gone, because she, too, feels his suffering as hers.
To me this last wish she expresses is most reminiscent of what we see of Lowell's request to Xiao, the way it's not fulfilled until the last minute. Xiao doesn't listen and she goes on, fully aware she's betraying the trust he put in her, and that she might be the next to die. Because of this betrayal, her feelings, this excess of love threatens to have the best of her, to make her forget about Lowell and focus only on herself and her anger- the "love of the self" that is the Distortion. Her final reception has her talking back to Carmen's proposal and worldview, detailing the way her bond with Lowell, but also Miris, Chun and all of her men, have been keeping her strong to this point.
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(Xiao reception)
With the awareness her lover is dead and gone, she manages to work through her feelings and gain strength from them, deciding that these bonds, and her memory will keep all of them alive through each other.
SO am I saying this is totally happening to Heathcliff in canto VI. I mean, nah, not necessarily. But considering the similarities he shares with these other stories, and how we've already seen these examples of the theme of grief over a loved one being handled before in the previous games and resulting in these genuinely amazing characters, it's something I think about.
As we're talking about a game adaptation that obviously can't adapt 20 more years of story (and let's be real, shouldn't either. If you want to read WH you can just read WH,) I think that would be a reasonable way for the canto to play out: getting to see one of the sinners genuinely lose it over someone's death in a way none of the others really did, explicitly showing the uniqueness of such intense affection in a place like the City, and then slowly beginning the road to recovery. Much like for Xiao and Roland, this being done not as a result of leaving the past behind, but as a direct result of their love for another, and that of their lover as well as everyone else who cherishes them (Miris, Angela and the librarians- I think we'll soon add the sinners to the list).
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(post core suppression dialogue)
To quote another bit from our bestie Yesod, the hope that grows out of the rot, as the death of another, but as your own wounded self as well.
So to conclude. I think in general, in the context of how we've seen major characters work around their grief in previous games it'd make sense for canto VI to reach a similar conclusion, the death being something that weighs heavily, but doesn't obscure the possibility of a future. Still. Love as something dangerous that has extreme power over us, but as something that lives in us and can't be taken away.
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