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thornvault · 1 month

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Kali Introduction Post

As I've previously threatened, here's info on my Magnifico ship OC (shoutout to @king-magnifico-haven who actually asked for this!! You're so special to me rn 🩷)

Keep in mind that Kali is still a VERY new concept (originally created less than 24 hours ago at the time of writing this, though it may take me a minute to post) so a lot of this information is very likely subject to change. I have the basic idea, but as I toy around with the story I'll be thinking of new things. I'm impatient though so I'm posting what I got so far anyway!

Please be kind to the art. I don't like drawing humans so I don't do it very often 😆

Summary: Kali is in their mid-20s, nonbinary (they/them); they start out as Magnifico's apprentice and eventually become a Dark Mage, but in a good way. They're mastering that damn book. Kicking its butt. They're very motivated. Powerful OCs are cool and sexy!

Personality: Kali is soft-spoken but firm. They are most comfortable being in the background and much prefer to take orders than give them, but they're capable of taking charge if the situation demands it. They are outwardly polite and without much of a temper, though they have a mischievous side that they may show once they feel comfortable. Still new to the concept of safety, they can be a bit skittish and a people-pleaser, but they'll unlearn those habits in time. Once they grow more accustomed to their new home, they'll gradually become more outspoken as time goes by.

Plot: The main change to the movie for this AU is that there are several months or even years between Asha's failed interview and the rest of all that plot. Instead of immediately making a Wish Upon A Star™ and being heard, it stews a while, maybe Asha even gets her own little underground rebellion going before Star ever shows up. Let there be a proper plot. Once she turns 18, she'll just choose to keep her wish, what's Magnifico going to do about it? He may not like it but it does seem like a voluntary thing to do so he's not going to force her. For now.

Anyway. Onto Kali. They're relatively new to Rosas, a war fugitive from a place I haven't yet named. Kali has seen more than their fair share of suffering and loss. The Kingdom of Rosas always sounded like a fairytale to them, they never fully believed it to be real until they found it. Welcomed to a safe haven in exchange for nothing, they feel indebted to the people, and Magnifico especially, for taking them in.

Their Wish™ is to be able to help, to make a difference - however small - in the lives of people and all living beings. The pain they've endured has made them gentle, not cold, and they just want to make things better. Their past reminds Magnifico of his own, and seeing their wish when they give it to him, he offers them the position of his assistant - what better way to help than by learning magic, after all? Kali turns out to be fairly talented in it. It'll take a while to learn all the spells and potions and whatnot, but they clearly have the potential.

We all know why I'm here, of course. As surely nobody who's ever met me could have guessed, this mentor/student arrangement turns into an affair, which then turns into the real deal. Only there is the small problem of the Queen who may not be entirely on board with this concept. Sorry Amaya.

I haven't entirely figured out how things will play out here, only that Kali will stand by Magnifico and try to help as he slowly slips off the deep end, whereas Amaya just sort of drops him the second he starts glowing (really, Kali felt bad for her, but if she wanted to keep him she should've treated him better). It's not that they fully agree with his methods, but A) he's their mentor, surely he knows best; and B) he's not entirely wrong. Yeah, people should get their wishes back if they want them, it's THEIR wishes after all, but damn you're not even going to ask him nicely? Just break in and steal them after he's spent years keeping them safe for you? And he's clearly not doing well so they're sort of stuck between being supportive and trying to steer him into another direction, it's a weird position to be in.

Anyway, let's assume we're still going with movie canon to some degree and the ending still happens. Amaya offers Kali a position as High Mage; though wishes will of course no longer be taken nor granted, magic can still be useful. They may continue their studies by themself and continue living in the castle. It doesn't feel right at all, and they miss Magnifico.

So Kali does the unthinkable, and gets out that book. They're careful, very careful, but they have a lot more time now than Amaya and Dahlia did, and there has to be some way to free him. Getting him out of the mirror sounds easy enough, though it does require using spells from the forbidden book. But then there's the whole deal with unbinding him - well, at that point both of them, really. They visit him in the dungeon as often as they can without arousing suspicion, but it does take a long time for them to find a way to do all that.

And that's the story of how Kali begins to study forbidden magic and ways to use it safely, and revolutionizes the entire concept of how magic works. They can do it because they have genuinely good intentions with it and know how to keep their emotions in check. They got a pure heart. Come on, it's Disney, bear with me here. That makes sense in-universe. Magnifico gets fixed by True Love's Kiss and you can take that from my cold dead hands.

#disney wish #wish oc #magnifico x oc #there is so much more to this i'm so sorry this is actually the summed up version. i have can't shut up disease (audhd)#unassuming soft-spoken gentle soul turns out to know dark magic my beloved #kali CHOOSES to be nice #they're secretly a little gremlin but nobody knows that except magnifico and he knows to appreciate it #i feel like i'm underselling the ship here lmao i promise there's more #oc: kali #magnifico x kali

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ndostairlyrium · 10 months

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Fanfiction Writer Bingo 🎲

Tagged by @greypetrel ✨ thanks dear ;; also for your input!

Edit: @shivunin I just noticed your tag, thank you so much ;; 💛

Before developing some of the slots, I'm quoting what @greypetrel wrote about the central statement, which is one of the reasons I asked for her opinion:

FanFiction is an actual literary genre as much as anything that gets written and read by other people. It's niche and it's for free, it doesn't mean it's inherently bad. "Fan Fiction" shouldn't be a synonym with "Poor writing and lack of originality"... Or no fanfiction would ever be published and sold millions of copies, am I right? ;) ("But some FF is pretty bad.". Yes, but so are published books. Publishing comes with editors and translators, authors are not alone and yet I could give you examples of published books that are just good to be used for decoupage.)

For me it was totally one of those "ooh, that makes sense" moments one has when reading something they never thought about. Both here and privately she put things in a way that makes absolutely sense and I wanted to highlight it ;; hope you don't mind having this reposted <3

Anyway!

I'm not an elder in whatever fandom space but I do have both a livejournal and a ff.net account lol and I still hold gently in my hands my efp account - if you're italian and into fics you know that site don't lie a nonna >> *buca palloni*

I tried to post on wattpad last year but I'm afraid I'm too old for that site :'D even if it has some cool personalization features.

I did roleplay! A lot, actually! it was my personality trait for a while lol VtM was a big fave <3 I even wrote a small short story instead of an actual backstory for the character I never had the chance to play ;;

Everything I write is 100% self indulgent << never doubt that!

Whatever you see going on in my tags here on this blog, I do that too on comments most of the times. Dude, I edit my comments twice before posting because they're filled with "aaaa eeeek uuuughhh"s :'DDD also they're full of gifs and memes << I'm an annyoing commentator (is that english? lmao) I really should restart reading and commenting fics now that I'm officially on holidays ;;

I do have three unfinished projects. Unfortunately, one is like... To be fair, I'm still bitter about how I handled it, because it's that fic that "deserves more attention". Deserved it, actually, and I forced myself to remove it because the fact that it had few interactions and it wasn't well received even within my mutual's circle was giving me severe anxiety. I took it way too personally <<' Now, I must thank and praise @underneathestars here because if it wasn't for her support, I wouldn't even have posted the final chapters of the first part. That was an "I wrote it for fun, I wasn't having fun" type scenario, basically. I was in a bad headspace and now that I'm less demanding with myself I'm starting to having much more fun writing ;; it took me a while to figure out that I don't need to be perfect in something I like to do in order to enjoy it and now I'm legit having the time of my life with the one I'm posting :'D

Sorry for the rant lol

Blank and tags:

I'm tagging: @underneathestars (ofc <3) @sparatus @demandthedoodles and I see everyone else had been tagged lol so whoever wants to do this, consider yourself tagged

#writing #fanfiction writer bingo #tag meme #I really should take a deep breath and stop worrying about posting my stuff in english lol #translating is hard guys

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zoroara · 5 months

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I saw you posted an ask game and came rushing to your ask box! 14 I choose you! Time to play dress up with the Varia!

And 21 for hmmmm I'm going to say *throws a dart at a dart board with the Varia members faces on it* Bel

Okay so this has ended up being very long so for the sake of people who may have to scroll past this answers are below.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character. Okay so that's going to be very interesting because honestly i'm not very aware of fashion i'm really the type of person who goes "Oh shit that looks cool" than anything else. So this is going to end up being very free form rambling However I am aware of quite a few alternate fashion types and their overlaps(as well as their meanings sometimes i get them a liiittle confused), but I can safely say most of the Varia in my mind fall into that with like [also please keep in mind i'm more talking about styles of dress here not the cultures behind them]. Two exceptions.

One, is actually Xanxus because I feel like he has very little idea what he's doing when actually out of his uniform so he defaults to it. He does seem to like to have chains feathers and belts but like 90% of the time whenever you see this man it's just SOME variation of what he already wears on his uniform, or has a collared shirt and dress pants and you gotta wonder at some point if he knows anything else. Though being fair it does look good. So I guess he's just sticking with that.

Levi is the other exception because from what I've seen that man dresses like a suburban dad or like he went to the thrift store, honestly? I love that. So whatever that is stays I think it's fun to have him like that. does he probably get bullied for this a bit? yeah

Lussuria, may be an interesting answer for you to hear because he does like rather brightly coloured outfits and dresses, but I Do think he could dabble in a bit of goth style(Also yes i'm aware of cybergoths and pastel goths but they don't quite have the vibe but do have closer to the colours) and make it really work. Damn shame i hit my wrist really hard today so I can't draw it or i would.

Mammon is just more Goth, like look at them. They'd definitely be more Romantic goth than Lussuria though, which is a funny sentence but it's the type of goth that looks more like they're from the victorian era so you probably understand where i'm coming from there.

Bel you can literally already see the emo influence in his design, it's like there though he's a little more colourful than most things I can find with it. But I don't think his fashion is colourful enough for him to accidentally fall into the scene sort of category.

Squalo falls definitely more into punk fashion to me. spikes chains and all, his uniform is pretty clean of those but I think they suit him for more casual wear.

Cannot explain further on fran other than he has the vibes that he wears grunge clothes but like almost accidentally so.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Fun fact, I haven't written Bel often! I think at this point I've started to write levi more often than him.... interesting. Anyway! The one thing with most of the Varia is I honestly thoroughly enjoy writing for them, even if it can be a bit tricky, even for Bel. I really like writing Banter with him and the others but even more so I like to just release him in a fight. I will say though it's probably most difficult when I'm writing him alone. He's just a character who's really easy to write when there's someone else to bounce off of.... Must be why Amano puts him with Mammon or Fran most of the time. But I can't find anything that I'd outright dislike about writing him.

#ask answered #khr ramblings #khr headcanons #xanxus #superbi squalo #belphegor #fran #lussuria #mammon | viper #levi a than

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not-poignant · 2 years

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"Because he was playing a really important therapist, I wanted his appearance to be determined or imagined by the person reading, so that they could imagine someone safe or someone who worked for them. " Called me out! Made me realise I was imagining some buff ish guy in glasses, which is what I aspire to be and also kinda what my own therapist looks like. I didn't even notice he was never described! You're amazing Pia

Yeah, what amazed me was actually how many people ended up with a really clear image of Dr Gary anyway! Based on his personality, his office, the way he speaks, etc.

There were some folks who asked me, but there were also some folks who were sure the colour of his eyes had been described, or his hair, for example, and I think that's so cool, and so awesome. Obviously it can be harder for people who can't visualise characters (I'm actually a bit like this, if a character is described with say green eyes and black hair, I mostly imagine an amorphous blobbish form with green eyes and black hair, and idk, shifting facial features, or blurry ones?), and so I got the question most from fanartists (I don't think there's been any art of Dr Gary), and those with some degree of either facial blindness or aphantasia.

I already know that the features I'm picking for Dr Gary in Underline the Black will be different from Falling Falling Stars largely because I imagined Dr Gary in FFS as being a fair bit older than Dr Gary in UtB will be (I think there's going to be like a 10-20 year age gap between them both). And I think his hair colour will be different, lol. It's so weird to know I'm going to be writing a character deliberately different physically from Dr Gary in FFS, and weirder still knowing that people who read Underline the Black first will always have that image of him in their minds, so they won't get to kind of have the experience of imagining their own non-described character.

Writing is just weird sometimes!

#asks and answers #underline the black #falling falling stars #fae tales au #dr gary konowalous #fae tales #i don't use that strategy often #i just thought because he was a therapist #and trusting him was so vital #i sort of wanted people to have a similar experience to efnisien #which is harder when a character looks like someone's dad or an ex or something dsalkfjasd #a lot of people have daddy issues lol

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takasgf · 2 years

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Dance lesson

its 6 am and im writing silly stories !!!!!! warning this happens in a killing game universe; obviously nothing bad happens but the athmosphere is a bit creepier than usual O_o also there's a slight reference to the 1st chapter victims in the beginning paragraph. otherwise, its just the silly people being very sweet and dumb

Kiyotaka and Frogeru were walking through the hallways. After being forced into a situation as stressful as a "killing game" can be, getting to know every part of your surroundings is key to survival. Dusty empty classrooms wouldn't have been such an eerie sight if it wasn't for the overwhelming feeling of terror that trapped the students into their own thoughts. The air was almost suffocating. Every particle of dust carried a weight comparable to a small baseball ball. No one had the power to look at a baseball ball with the same eyes ever again however.

Each step they took scared them into thinking they might just sink into the floor if they weren't careful. Luckly, the other would have been there to catch their friend, if that ever happened. Their friendship is what kept them strong. If they were truly on their own, all this would have been so much harder to confront. Despite meeting not so long ago, the two felt a strong connection from the moment they introduced themselves. And so, they decided to stick together. Even now, neither realized they've been holding hands for the past few minutes as they were exploring the school. It was more of a subconscious need to protect each other from danger.

- Hey, let's go there! Seems interesting enough.

Frogeru pointed towards a room not so far away from them. At first glance, you couldn't have differentiated it from the other classrooms. Upon entering, that was the case for the most part.

- What's this thing? Is it supposed to be a music player or something? Frogeru sprinted towards the device and gently shook it, maybe expecting a snack to fall out of it, like in a vending machine.

- I believe so. Perhaps they used to host school events here... Hey! Don't shake it like that! The annoyance in Taka's voice was enough to convince Frogeru to let go of the music player.

- Meh. It's pretty dusty anyway. I saw it shining through the window and thought it might be cool.

- Running around after shiny things is not the best thing to do right now. Personally, I don't think it's a good thing to do in general! Be focused, Frogeru. We must be very mindful of our actions if we don't want any strange device exploding in our faces!

- Fair enough. Huh! Dude, wait! There's a cassette in here! Should I play it? I'm gonna play it.

- No! What did I just say?! Please, just leave it be!

Frogeru's curiosity couldn't wait. She pressed the play button impatiently. A few mechanical sounds exited the speakers. Kiyotaka sat protectively in front of Frogeru, expecting something terrible to happen in the next seconds.

A soft, monotone tune started to play. No explosions, no evil teddy bears, no traps. Just an old cassette, trying its best to bring the classroom back to life with its sounds. Despite the damage, the song kept going.

- See? Calm down, man. Just a plain old music player. That song sucks so bad… Frog gave a slightly frightened Taka a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

- True, definitely not worth the reaction. I apologize. Still, isn't it quite suspicious? Can we be sure this isn't a trap?

- Well, we aren't dead yet, so I guess it's not. Dang, this song is really bad. You were right not to start playing it. It reminds me of elevator music. I don't think you could dance on this even if you wanted to, haha!

- It seems fit for slower kinds of dances. The kinds that test one's elegance and class, perhaps. It's not very remarkable. We should turn it off and quit wasting time here! There's plenty of rooms to look through.

- Wait, wait, wait! Where's the rush, my friend? We're stuck here. We can listen to this dumb song all day if we wanted to. See, how it tickles our ears with its stupidity? Haha!

- Where are you going with this? Are we leaving or not? Just like you said, there is absolutely no reason to stay here and listen.

- That's why I want to dance instead. You can't just mention it and not elaborate on that! I think we learned one of those fancy dances in kindergarten. I remember I kept getting paired with dumb kids and I would step on their feet on purpose. Great times, am I right? I am!

- You need two people for a slow dance. Currently I am your only option, but I thoroughly refuse to dance in these serious circumstances. Taka crossed his arms and looked directly at Frogeru.

- Come on, I'm not going to step on your feet, I promise! I think you are one of the people that needs to have a bit of fun the most around here. Look at you, all stressed and worried! It makes me so sad just to think what's going on inside your head.

- Frogeru, now is not the time to have fun. Ask me again when we get out of here and I'll think about it. Maybe I'll even get some practice until then.

- Practice..? Oh! You don't know how to dance! That's why you keep refusing me! Haha, don't worry, dude. I don't know what I'm doing either. I just want to see you smile once.

- I appreciate your concerns! But I don't dance. Not now. It's not the right time.

- When will be the right time? What if we get hurt? What if we don't escape?

- …

- W-What if we don't get to dance together ever again? Please, Ishi. Dance with me… Please.

The energy in Frog's tone slowly faded as she spoke. Her stuttering voice and her trembling eyes and mouth made Taka raise his arm and place it on his heart. It was hurting.

- I thought…I thought you didn't like the song…

- It really doesn't matter what song it is, does it?

- …It doesn't. Take my hand.

The light came back in Frogeru's sparkly eyes. Once they held hands again, even Taka felt more calm than before. His friend's soft smile assured him that they'll be okay.

- Um, may I have some directions first? I wouldn't want to step on your feet either.

- Yeah, sure! You need to place your other hand on my back, and I'll place mine on yours! It's more fancy than just holding hands, heh.

- Ah! I think so! You're the expert here.

Kiyotaka listened to Frogeru's explanations and tried his best to follow along. The two would move around the room in a slow spinning and walking motion, as the terrible song kept playing in the background.

- Are you okay? You look kinda red..? Stupid dust! Keep getting in my friend's face and I'll show you! No, but seriously, are you okay?

Being so close to his best friend colored Kiyotaka's face bright red. He was so focused on trying his best to dance correctly he didn't even notice how silly he looked.

- I-I'm fine! Yes, dust, it's everywhere! Ha-ha!

- You look like a tomato…You are weird. I like that you are weird; you're just like me. I'm glad that we became friends!

The previous statement almost had Taka lose all his balance. He was incredibly glad as well.

- Careful!! It's so awesome that you accepted to dance with me, but please don't get yourself hurt because of it!

- I'm alright! I trust you, Frogeru. I don't think I could get hurt with you here to catch me.

The room was filled with giggles, awkward dance moves and a terrible song. For just a few minutes, the two students could take a break from the terror that awaited them once they left the classroom. There is no certainty whether they'll return there to dance once again, so it's better to cherish the moment while it lasts. Outside the classroom, a spiky brown haired boy, that had made the scandalous fashion choice to wear a blazer over his hoodie, is observing the situation through a window.

- At least they're having fun…!

OKKK thank you SO MUCH for reading!!! I like this a lot more, I think it's my best short story so far :] thank you so much for all your support!!! Im a bit paranoid I might have accidentally copied the plot from someone else without realising, i hope it's just an irrational fear😭 ive had this idea for quite a while, so im happy i finally wrote about it !!!

#pe casetă era soundtrack ul de la 5 gang the movie /j #ishigeru #hope there arent many mistakes here its 6 am and i havent slept at all !!!#humanities.txt

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devilfic · 2 years

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Oh yeah, advent children!! I also haven't seen that movie. I'm glad though that more people are talking about crisis core, because i love it a lot. Nier: automata!! Its popular too, and that gif looks very pretty. My big brother has a ps4 (or ps5? i can't remember) with some stuff including nier automata, and a while ago i asked him if i can play some games on it, and he didn't mind, so i'm definitely gonna do that the next time i visit him. Fortunately for you, i'm very much used to subtitles, as i'm not a native english speaker, so that wouldn't be a problem at all!!

Right, i guess i do have a liking towards boy groups that lean to hip hop. I didn't really notice that. But yeah, they are older compared to.. the new ones lmao. As for block b, i actually tried to listen to them, but i guess they're not my cup of tea, not sure why.

Oooooh yeah the legendary trio, superwholock.... Don't worry, i too was a fan, but not doctor who though, i've never seen it, just supernatural and sherlock. Before that, i was a major weeb, so uhhh yeah. I was also into video game stuff and gaming youtubers, like markiplier, jacksepticeye and such. They were actually the reason i joined tumblr a looong time ago!! And i still do watch their stuff, just not that often anymore. Oh and hannibal!!! And some other netflix shows like umbrella academy, and yeah, stranger things. I used to watch kdramas often too, but now, not so much. If we're talking about music other than kpop, well i'm just a casual fan of a lot of bands that i don't know much about. Other than that, just the usual marvel stuff. Anyway, i'm never really active in these fandoms. Sometimes i draw fanarts though, but i rarely post them. I just lurk most of the time... and send really long anon asks to people... which is what i'm doing to you right now haha

I'm aware this is getting really long, but i just wanna say OH. MY. GOD. YOU'RE OPENING REQUESTS?????? After all the frustrating stuff i've been through in the past weeks (and more in the near future, i'm afraid) i feel like i'm gonna explode out of excitement!!!!! I really need to think of a good request. Okay. Uhhh. First i'm just gonna ask you something i often ask to other fic writers about requests. Do you write for multiple characters in a single fic? Just as an example, a one shot involving the older teens in stranger things, including steve, nancy, robin and eddie. Would that be something you're okay with???

-cain

zack is such a sweetie in it ;-;;; also "me? gongaga" was trending a while back sakjfksjd. and SWEET lemme know what you think of it (and yakuza if you can get it!) whenever you get a chance. they're truly really great games

aw darn, I really thought they might be up your alley LOL but that's okay. have you ever listened to stray kids? I know they're relatively newer but I like some of their sound, that might also be something you like 👀

oh markiplier!! you know, I never really got into his videos because he was always a bit too animated for me but I still really admire him as a person and content creator. he seems like a genuinely lovely guy. also that's entirely fair, I lurk for every fandom I don't write for and it's a lot more fun just sitting back and watching than engaging. but also! you draw fanart? that's so cool! how long have you been drawing?

I'm so sorry to hear you've been having a rough time :( are you doing okay? I hope whatever it is won't last long. but yes!! I'm comfortable with that. actually, reading this gave me a small idea for some headcanons involving those four that I'm gonna post later LMAO

#cainsau #and don't worry about long asks. I enjoy reading them LOL #mjanswers

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ncityzen · 4 months

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What films would your recommend from your country of origin? I am looking for recs, I hope you don't mind, could be classics regarded by the general public or your personal faves, thank you :)

Hi!! omg it´s been a while since I last got an ask I feel touched I feel seen, thank you anon 🤍☕🩷📰

anyways i'm going to recommend some Catalan films, but I'm sure i'll forget a few important ones, and i haven't seen them all, so I hope they're good!

Black Bread: this is kind of a modern classic from 2010. I think the story resonated quite a bit with what people went through in the post-war period + it was filmed near my hometown, so there was definitely a bit of buzz for me sjdflk

Summer 1993: i haven't watched this one (yet), but it did get a fair bit of attention and it's supposedly good. It's a little girl's summer in 1993, simple and sweet

Alcarràs: this one won the Golden Bear at the 2022 Berlinale, and I haven't seen it yet either, but i definitely saw it being played at posh london cinemas, which was quite cool

Salvador (Puig Antich): based on the real-life story of catalan anarchist Salvador Puig Antich, who was executed by garrotte in 1974 (!!!!!!) by the Francoist dictatorship. his story is really well-known in Catalonia for obvious reasons, and i bet most people don't know that daniel brühl is half catalan lmao

Barcelona Summer Night (Barcelona Nit d'Estiu): definitely not as arthouse-y as the other ones here, but just a simple movie for a chill evening, centred around relationships in barcelona. there's a follow-up called Barcelona Winter Night. it's definitely on Netflix Spain, but if you don't have a vpn i don't know :(

I hope this is more or less what you were looking for? let me know if you watch any of this and if you like them!!

#i hope you can find these on streaming somewhere sorry i can't help with that #and with english subs! if you speak spanish there might be dubbed versions available too #i was just thinking about films so that was nice!#☺️♥️#ask #anon #i only listed catalan-language films here but technically the director of society of the snow is catalan #and isabel coixet is also a catalan director though she does more international films #but these feel more like home to me i hope this makes sense

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pichlive · 7 months

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So this is my thoughts on the Sonic Forces DLC– Long overdue due to some IRL business, but I'm ready to get this out so I can finally transition this blog onto the next game I wanna live blog. Be warned that spoilers are beyond the read more!

So… I have… a lot of mixed feelings on this DLC. As you might have been able to tell— I myself had so much trouble with this thing that I had to use mods just to get through it after Sonic's first trial! Which is sad to me– I had such high hopes for it, and I was having fun… until all the issues came trickling in. Which is a shame– because there's so many ways in which it's really great extra content… and then so many ways it kind of… falls flat in the end to me? Like they bent back to a lot of needless criticisms of the game to… in my opinion, kind of a version of the game I don't really like all that much.

To get it out of the way right here right now: The dlc is just insanely unfairly hard. And to clarify: if this was even fair at all, I wouldn't mind. Personally, I would have preferred this difficulty be reserved… for hard. And you know. Not for people playing on easy, let alone the kids doing that? My issue isn't even just that it's hard– it's that the difficulty is made for a system that won't accommodate it. This is NOT a system made for like, the level of intensity or precision that these challenges want you to do. It feels like a desperate attempt to appear more 'hardcore' and… kind of strangely rushed? For a free DLC? Like some of it doesn't feel… all that playtested.

Now, thankfully, much of the writing is still sosososoossoooooo solid to me. I did like that Sonic's friends took more precedence here– rescuing themselves and working to help Sonic, and god, Amy's VA just NAILED IT AND WENT OFF. But these character interactions without Sonic– as much as I love him– were a treat to see, and to see different dynamics was so refreshing. If this is a step into the water of possibly having more interactions like this… then I'm all for it. However, despite how much I liked all that… the writing near the end was… how do I put it. On one hand, I love Sonic and friends and Eggman and Sage all being involved in the final battle! On the other, as cool as Sonic going all out was, removing Sage vs The End feels more… generic?

Other than all that– It did feel like there were way more issues here than in the original game, at least I swear there were– but I will be transparent and say I have this game on an external drive so I will account for if that caused any errors at all. Regarding how Sonic's friends played: Amy's is the best, and actually feels like she was playtested/the best balanced? Knuckles was just frustrating for me, and Tails was fun but also extremely OP in ways that I'm not sure were intended? But the cyber levels of what I've played are fantastic. Way more objectives with extremely fair level design and BANGER tracks in all of them!

I dunno, it feels like on some level they got scared of people reacting negatively to how experimental the game was, how 'easy' it was– so they tried to appeal to an audience of people who wouldn't really even like this game anyway. It feels like a really awkward hybrid of both that uh– the 'hardcore' video game people aren't… going to even look Sonic Frontiers's way, or at least they likely won't like how they balanced the game and are more likely to install their own mods. And the regular audience is obviously not going to like having to slog through the sudden 'difficulty' shift either! So… unfortunately– while the writing is easily a 4/5 to me… this DLC gets a 1/5. I could only recommend it either to people who really think they can handle the 'challenge' or are patient for it– or for the most dedicated of sonic players. Or at the very least– just get to Sonic and at least play the cyber levels. Those seem pretty solid. I guess the other cutscenes if it gets to you too much you can watch on youtube but even then, imo, I liked the original ending better– even if again I did like the character interactions here.

#sonic forces the final horizon #Sonic forces review #sonic forces thoughts #Sonic forces the final horizon spoilers

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leshitshow · 10 months

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I am Sinéad

Posting this under my anon depression account because, while I have a thought to speak, I'm not trying to take power from her at all. I just want to note in my own mind that I identify with her.

Been listening to her music since I was a child. She was 16-years older than me. I was too blissfully ignorant to know her outside of what the radio played, then. I didn't "know politics." I didn't know the Great Pope Shred (well done). I knew nothing about the blanket of human generated evil upon the world other than what was covered as "past tense" in high school history. I knew nothing of modern political evil until the bullshit went down at the World Trade Center - when all the world's evil men came to a head in 2000. I guess this is when it began resonating with me as a public issue. All those lost lives really woke my ass up.

Beforehand, I grew up in an American home of shit-ass religion and child abuse. My world was just my world, then. Didn't realize how it branched. And like Shuhada', I too loved music and art. I had less of a drive than Shuhada' did to sing and perform, though - because my teachers were trash and intentionally stifled my dreams. I think Shuhada' had one teacher who cared and nurtured her and thus we had her talent in the world.

Anyway, as I became a young adult I came to know and face off with evil in the way Shuhada' did. The contradictions of humanity pissed me off in the same way and I too fought as bitterly, angrily, and loudly as she did. I just received less hate because I had no public standing and was therefore a lesser threat to the status quo. And for that I am honestly grateful. I think. Actually... maybe? Maybe not. Maybe a bigger standing could've done more good for the world in my youth. I don't know. And... I honestly don't care at this point. I'm tired. I've worked in activism for the first 20-years of my adulthood. I put my time in. For whatever that's worth. Or for whatever that even means.

Where I think Shuhada' and I diverge is in my distrust for all systems of human control. I've always understood some of the systems are necessary to feed the masses. And that unto itself is a whole other discussion. But one thing is absolutely clear - fuck religion. 100% fuck religion.

Shuhada's fall, in my opinion, was her even touching religion. And of all the religions that seem to really pull a crazy town mental crisis on people it really does seem to be Catholicism. For what it does to a person's state of mind, as if it were a CIA mind fuck operation, it oughta just be classified as a system of torture - and not a religion.

Personally. I was raised Southern Baptist and while that religion is also trash the most confused religious refugees I know are all Catholic. And maybe one Muslim? Though, to be fair the one Muslim kiddo that was loopy wasn't loopy because of Islam. He was loopy because he dared to be a Palestinian in an Israeli operated concentration camp for Palestinians and that drove him nuts. So maybe Judaism isn't as cool as it proclaims itself to be. Honestly, ALL religion. Fuck it all. It's just a system of oppression and control. And I'm sorry Shuhada' fell for it because it clearly ended up taking a lot out of her, in the end.

Here's how I see it. We are born. We are children. If we are one of the unlucky millions then we are children born into shitty situations and have to learn how the fuck to cope with that trauma from the moment we are conceived. Then, if we are "lucky" we grow into young adults. But, again, if we came from trauma then we are young adults spending the finite resource of life-energy grappling with reconciling that trauma. But because we are young adults we're pretty much still children who aren't aware of how finite life-energy really is. Then we are middle aged. If we are middle aged adults who came from trauma - this is where we realize there's a limitation in life-energy. And then this is also the time-period we learn that we overspent our energy earlier on. That we burnt through our thrusters fasters than, and in contrast to, our peers from healthy households. This realization is probably one of the ugliest of them all in the trauma holder's lifetime. That, after thinking we escaped our torture at whatever young age, that it - in fact - never went away and drained us faster than our friends. And this is where those who grew up with trauma begin thinking about suicide and whatever else comes to mind.

Now, the way it appears to me is if you grew up only with the trauma then by adulthood you might still have a little more life-energy than someone who grew up with the trauma AND religion. And that is, in my best opinion, what happened to Shuhada'. She was fucking tired. I watched her 'cry for help' video. Boy did it resonate. But I'm 16-years younger and didn't become an international martyr so I'm also just taking a guess on the source of her exhaustion based on a lifetime of observation. Maybe religion helped her too. Some people really seem to think it does. I don't understand it. All I see is war and death in the name of theocracy.

At the end of the day I think Sinéad O'Connor (Shuhada' Sadaqat) was our modern day Joan of Arc. She was a strong woman who went hard challenging the system and the system being as unfathomably evil as it is tore her down the best it could. But, in the end. In both Joan's and Shuhada's deaths - it lost. It may have won ruining their lives but in their deaths - they got the final word.

#sinead o'connor #sinéad o'connor #joan of arc #child abuse #tw child abuse #tw death #fuck religion #fuck the system #burn this shit down #status quo #Shuhada' Sadaqat #I am Sinéad #I am Sinead #I am Shuhada'

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lightrises · 3 years

Text

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight)#hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 3 years

Text

We Met Within This Screen [chapt. 6]

[Donnie x reader]

sfw, chapter 5 here

Come on, save it, save it, Donnie chanted to himself later that night, at home and tucked away in his room trying to figure out how to neutralize the situation. He paced along his bed back and forth, phone in hand as he wracked his brain thinking about how he'd get her to let it go. He could tell her that she was...overtired? Go the stereotypical route and say it was just her eyes playing tricks on her? Try to play it off as human teenagers messing around on the roof?

She'd gone to bed already. He hated that he couldn't pursue the subject until morning, her morning, but by then, he'd be tired. When she woke, he slept. But he needed to get it resolved as quickly as possible, so he reckoned it was time to pull an all nighter. Luckily, that wasn't anything he wasn't used to.

He figured he'd get the preliminaries out of the way so he could get right to it when she eventually texted back.

"Good morning

I know you're not awake yet but I figured I'd get an early start today.

I want to know, what exactly did you see last night?"

He shut his phone off and set it down on the bed, fingers rubbing his temples. Depending on her answer, this would either be difficult, or near impossible.

The rest of his time was spent just waiting around for her to finally wake up, dodging all his brothers and trying to occupy himself with something. He was fiddling with the radio he kept on the floor next to his bed when his phone notified him of a message. Turning the volume up, some old-school rock played softly. He didn't always keep music on when he worked, which was what he was doing felt like, but something needed to fill the silence. It also made it feel more casual to have the radio on, for both himself and for whoever might stop by his room.

"Good morning to you too

That was...sudden??"

How nice it was to read those words coming from someone who wasn't his family. Not that they said it like that often anyway, but the small gesture hit differently.

"I'm just really curious about what you said you saw."

Curious? Not quite. More like dying to know, and not because he fancied himself some cryptid hunting.

"That's fair I guess

But don't laugh, ok?"

"I'd never, [y/n]"

"Well

Okay

They were big

But no like not the overweight kinf, not even just 'tall guy' kind of big

kind*

You know?"

Yeah, I aware. I'm 6'8" and have a giant shell on my back.

"They?"

He was hoping she'd only seen one of them. Maybe it would have been easier, but, of course, that wasn't the case.

"I think there were two

Idk it just looked really weird, it was dark but the silhouette from the light made them look bulky, I don't know what it was"

Lips pursed tight, he looked up from his phone, and all of a sudden that music in the background was suffocating. He quickly reached over and shut it off. He needed to be able to divert all of his attention to one thing. Except, even though he should have been spazzing over her spotting them (even if just for a split second), a concern crept up in the back of his mind that made him scoff at himself. The need to know was too great.

His eyes fell on his scaled, three-fingered hand as he typed.

"Did it scare you?"

Perhaps it wasn't what he should have been focusing on. But he was. He knew she hadn't seen much, but what if she quipped that it was frightening, or gross, or…?

"I don't know, Bo

I guess it was kind of freaky

Uh, do you actually believe me? That I saw something?"

"'Freaky?'" he repeated to himself in a whisper, brow ridge furrowed. What was I expecting?

He had to shake himself of whatever was going on in his head at the moment, because there were more pressing matters at hand. Like what he was going to answer her question with. Theoretically, he could go two routes; one, invalidate the experience and try to walk on the line of telling her that it was not real without making her feel crazy. And then probably get mad at him. Or two, go along with it, if he didn't have the heart to do that to her. The answer was already here; he let out a deep sigh. Two, it is.

Nothing could make him want to make her feel that way, even if it meant he'd have to put in a little extra effort in fixing his mistake.

"I wouldn't doubt your judgement, [y/n]."

"Thanks

That makes me feel a lot better

You're a really good guy, Bo :)"

Freezing, he sat and stared at the screen before slowly taking the phone away from his face, lips moving, but no sound coming out. He had no idea what to say; all he could focus on was the fact that the girl he undeniably liked thought he was a good guy. And that, presumably, it meant she might have liked him as well. Big on the "might", he realized as the logical part of his mind took over once again. Regardless, he licked his lips and got to preparing a worthy response. He didn't want to come off as flustered as he felt. Donnie was aware he was not particularly suave—he took solace in the fact that she couldn't see his face or hear his voice. He contemplated on acting a bit more "cool guy" than he actually was, but wanted her to like him for him, not a facade. Which was a major contradiction to all that he had done up to that point, but the least he could do was be the person he was on the inside!

"You there?"

"Sorry, I got distracted…

You really think so?"

"That I think you're a great guy?"

"Well...yes."

"Totally. 100%"

His heart was going, he was stammering to himself, and a new feeling enveloped him. He was no stranger to the different emotions; he'd gotten familiar with many of them. Because though he didn't always show it, he had a lot of feelings. These, he felt most viscerally. But he had to get back on track. If he could push last night's incident under the rug, all would be well. More well than it already was, considering.

"Thank you, [y/n]

To be honest, I've never had a friend like you

So, do you want to talk more about what you saw? I know I'm switching tracks quickly, it's just very….interesting."

It was a jarring and awkward subject change, he knew that, but he desperately wanted to get it out of the way. The sooner, the better.

"I suppose

You seem pretty interested in it"

Maybe she wasn't hanging onto the experience like he'd thought she would. There were so many tales of people seeing inexplicable things and becoming enraptured by the experience that he guessed he should only expect the worst, but it appeared that she was not so obsessed. Crisis averted?

"Not too much, I was just wondering

We can forget about it."

"Oh, I'm not going to forget about it, Bo"

There it is, he thought, not surprised.

After thirty minutes of attempting to throw her off without coming off as suspicious himself, he had to take a breather, reorganize his mind. Only to come back and find that she had to go take care of things, and that she'd talk to him later. He'd done as much fixing as he could; at that point, it was as good as it was going to get. The thought of being looked for by his unknowing friend loomed about in the coming weeks as they did their patrols, when they would pass by her residence, and the times that he snuck off to stop by himself. Sometimes accompanied by Mikey, but he tried to keep it as solitary as possible. Soon, watching her on her balcony from that roof became part of his routine. He vaguely thought sometimes that watching her like that could be considered creepy, but that ship had already sailed.

For the third time in the last month he was there yet again, on the same roof, watching the same balcony, watching the same girl. Sometimes they texted, sometimes they didn't. The times he wasn't talking to her as he sat there were the times he daringly crossed the threshold onto the fire escape. There were only a few instances of that. But did he still feel out of his mind doing so? Yes. The window only looked into part of the living room and kitchen, but he felt scandalous to do it. Most of his time there was spent only with his shell against the wall next to the window, just out of sight. He could always hear her faint but noticeable footsteps coming and could easily vault the railing and climb up or drop down. She couldn't get past his keen hearing unless she knew to tread lightly.

Mikey was with him once again, this time out to look for scrap rather than patrol. He'd been buddied up with his younger brother more often ever since their talk that night in Donnie's room. They only stopped by because they were already out and had a viable excuse.

"Does she know about us? Like, me, Leo, Raph..." rambled Mikey, curious, as he practiced one of his new moves with his skateboard. He kicked up onto the ledge of the roof and skidded before hopping off, tucking the board under his arm. "You guys have been together like, what, two months? And she doesn't even know your name."

Fiddling with the strap reaching around his shoulder, Donnie replied matter-of-factly to hide the embarrassment that was ailing him at the thought, "Okay, for starters, we're not 'together'. And secondly, she hasn't mentioned voice chatting in a while."

"And?" He got back on his board, zooming by Donnie.

"My name? It just hasn't come up," Donnie shrugged.

"Call her, then!" Mikey smiled, still preoccupied with his board and trying out his new tricks. Donnie gave a light scoff and shook his head. His brother passed behind him where he sat leaned against the water tower.

"I don't want to just call her out of nowhere, Mikey, she might be asleep."

He also didn't want his brother there when he did.

"You gotta not be so shy!...oh, look, in the window. Right there. See? She's up," he quipped with a small smirk. The curtain was drawn, but the light had turned on at some point, and they could see her silhouette moving past. Donnie looked over his shoulder to say something but felt a hand slip into his pocket on the other side, stealing his phone right off of him. He was fast, but Mikey was faster in jumping into his board and gliding all the way to the other side of the roof with the fussy turtle hot on his trail.

"Mikey, quit it!" Donnie barked, lunging toward him for the phone.

"You'll thank me later!"

The two wrestled for the phone, Mikey holding it just out of reach as he tried to navigate the screen without dropping it.

"Come on," grunted Donnie as the tussle led them near the edge, where Mikey held it precariously over the alley below. His glasses were jostled off his face when a stray hand bumped them, causing them to fall amongst their feet. Squinting, he partially knelt down and searched for the pair while still looking at his brother and his phone, trying to stretch his arm long enough to snatch it. "Really?" he groaned, "just give me the phone!"

Donnie slung out his staff and used the other end to whack his wrist from underneath just as he pulled away from the edge, losing his grip on the phone. Mikey tried to catch it but it bounced off his hand, going right over the side of the roof and plummeting down into the alley.

Mikey froze. Donnie finally found his glasses.

Laughing nervously, Mikey turned back to him, "Whoops…"

When he didn't immediately find the phone on the ground, Donnie knew what happened. He looked over the edge, and there it was, sitting on the pavement in the alleyway. The building wasn't incredibly tall, but enough to do some major damage. He'd have to switch for one of his spares if he didn't want to deal with a busted-up screen.

"I don't need your 'help', Mikey, so leave it alone next time," Donnie said and gave him a narrow-eyed look, huffing as he leaped down to retrieve it.

Mikey may have been insistent, but he knew then it was time to stop. All he wanted to do was help. For his shy, flakey brother to come out of his shell (no pun intended). Donnie, at that time, had the biggest shot out of all of them for something unique and good. He hadn't yet worked out the logistics of how to bridge the gap between the two, but it was a calling of his to help him along.

Donnie watched for people from behind a corner before creeping out to get the phone, which was face down on the concrete. No doubt cracked to all hell if not completely shattered, though it did have a case.

But as he got closer, he heard a voice. From the phone.

He picked up the phone timidly and shot a glance up at the roof, where Mikey was peeking over the edge in apprehension. Without a word, Donnie activated the taser in his staff, pointing it at his brother and zapping it briefly. He flinched and retreated out of sight.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Bo?" she asked again, tone riddled with confusion. "What was that?"

"Uh, yes—hol—hold on, please," stammered out donnie, flying around the corner and pressing flat against the wall as a group of laughing people passed by the alley. "Just one second," he said nervously. Above him, Mikey was rapidly motioning for him to get up there, eyes wide and body trying to stay low. Baffled, Donnie gestured back at him, mouthing at him to keep his pants on for one more minute while he made his way up.

"Hey, what's going on there?" she inquired, concerned.

A street cat abruptly skittered out from between his legs from the dumpster he stood next to, and he had to stifle a startled yelp. He hopped up onto the nearest fire escape, trying to control his breathing. "Hey, hello…[y/n]," he half-chuckled, distracted by working up the building one-armed as he kept as quiet as possible.

"What was all that? And who's 'Mikey'?"

There was suddenly a shout—Mikey's shout—and his stomach did a jump. He sputtered as fast as he could, "I'm sorry [y/n] but this really isn't a good time, and I mean it really isn't," he pulled himself up onto the roof, and there was Mikey, fending off men clad in black, "so I have to go, but—"

"Don, dude! I need help over here!" cried his brother, sliding out of the way as a sword was jabbed towards him. He countered with a harsh uppercut to the man's chin, sending him stumbling backwards. The blade fell to the concrete with a clank.

"'Don'? Bo, what the hell?! Who is with you? And—"

Donnie jumped into the battle, a mix of nine or ten armed men with swords other weapons, and Mikey trying to stave them off, swinging his chucks with nothing short of reckless abandon. But he still didn't hit himself with them.

Ending the call, he secured the phone in his pocket. He wailed the guy closest to him in the side of the head with the heavy staff, then kicked him in the chest. The man fell to the blow, and Mikey ducked underneath the length of Donnie's weapon just in time as the two came together. Stray bullets flew past them, some colliding with their shells as they spun around for protection.

"How was it?!" Mikey yelled over the clamor, breathless. Donnie sidestepped from the rapid hit he sent towards the human to his left.

"What are you talking about?!" Donnie loudly questioned, flummoxed of what could have been going on in his brain during a fight. "We're kind of in the middle of something here!"

"Your phone call!"

"Yeah, the hell's the talkin' about, Don?" a gruff voice cut through the jumble.

Both of the boys whirled around to see their older brothers there, weapons drawn.

"Oh, right. As soon as I saw those bad guys coming, I let them know," said Mikey casually to Donnie, throwing his fist into the face of the man coming up behind him. "You know, standard biz."

With the rest of the team there, the fight was over twice as fast. Some groaning in pain and some unconscious bodies littering the area, along with their weapons. Leo finished the last one and sheathed his swords, eyes on their tallest brother while Raph kept watch around them. Donnie swallowed as Leo approached him.

"Don, you said you were going out for scrap metal," Leo stated.

In the background, Mikey grabbed his skateboard and was going to try to kickflip over one of the knocked out guys, but Raph yanked the board from him, growling. He checked all of the men to make sure they were down and would stay down.

"We were...just on our way back?" Donnie answered. Nearby, there was a small pile of scrap he'd collected, though definitely not enough to justify being out that long.

"So you stopped at your friend's place?" Leo deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Didn't you think that this could get her in trouble, too? Her apartment's right there, dude!"

Mikey budded in and corrected him, "Ah, we stopped by [y/n]'s. And nah! It's all good."

Donnie's face twitched. "Of course I thought about it! That's why I've only come here three times since, and only thirty minute intervals!" he bit back, throwing his hands up. The rest of his brothers all looked at him and his specificity. "I'm not naive, Leo."

The leader pushed past the both of them, signalling that it was time to leave, and they followed. Not before Donnie got what little metal he had collected and put away his staff, tucking the stuff under his arm. Raph joined alongside Donnie as they ran. "What's with all the secret' stuff, Don? First, ya hide it to begin with, then, ya make out like you were done, and now you get jumped by Foot guys by her place when you shoulda been gettin' scrap!" he said. "How were we supposed to cover for ya if you're lyin' even after we let you off?"

"Technically, I did get some!" Donnie remarked. He held up a piece of the scrap for him to see, and Raph snorted. "But..."

Well, his question would be a little harder to answer.

Next block was the nearest manhole, where each turtle swiftly jumped in, knowing by heart (and years of wandering) most of the sewers and the way back home. In some tunnels was Mikey's telltale graffiti, but it was scattered throughout the place enough to not be a giant arrow to their hideout. In the last portion of the run was the tunnel they always slid down, and once they were actually home, Donnie knew what was coming. Master Splinter was already waiting for them by the time they arrived.

"Uh-oh," Mikey said upon seeing him, sinking behind his brothers. Raph pushed him back up front.

Dropping the scrap in his arms, Donnie squeaked, "That's not good." He quietly cursed how high pitched his voice became when he was nervous.

"Yeah…" Leo cleared his throat, looking down at his hands clasped in front of him. The situation had an awkward tension for everyone in it, save for Raph, who was immune to it by then and Splinter himself. "We took care of the soldiers," he added more seriously. "Got out of there before too much attention was drawn.

"The police may be able to handle them from here, but it will not make a dent in the Shredder's forces," explained Splinter, grave as he paced along the line of brothers. "He owns the city. Until I say so, there will be no venturing to the surface. You are all lucky to be unharmed."

"That ain't it," Raph piped up. "But they'll be bringin' the big guns, next time."

"Oh, I am well aware."

"Um...of which thing?" the nervous turtle questioned, exchanging glances to Raph and then Mikey.

Splinter raised his brows knowingly, and that was all it took for Donnie. The floodgates of his signature anxious chatter opened. He grabbed the edge of Mikey's shell and pulled him over into the spotlight with him, "I met someone over an online game and we started texting after a few weeks, and—and Leo found out and I said I would stop, but we never told you," he gestured toward their brother in blue, who refused to make eye contact, "so I told her that it was through and then Mikey somehow convinced me to go back on it," he sucked in a breath, and Mikey grinned uncomfortably, "and then we started talking again and I don't know why, but I went back there to her apartment building and it was just…stupid."

There was a cumbrous pause. Donnie was stiff as a board, Mikey couldn't look at any one thing too long, Leo stood in his polite but awkward stance, and Raph started to whistle.

As poised as ever, Splinter spoke. "I know."

All four pairs of eyes shot to their father.

"What?"

"Uh..."

"Huh?"

"Wait."

They expressed their collective confusion at the same time, and Splinter chuckled. Donnie wanted nothing more than to be able to retreat into his shell, but that was physically impossible. "Nothing gets past me, especially not you and your nervous habits, Donatello. You are scratching that spot on your neck again, son."

Flinching, Donnie pulled his hand away. He'd be damned; Splinter was right.

But unbeknownst to them, there had been spectator of their fight on the roof that night.

————————————————————————————————

shh do not think too deeply about this my children

a/n: haha plot device go brrrr

i need to finish this cursed fanfiction

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astroninaaa · 3 years

Note

Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

#c!techno critical #adding just in case #technoblade #c!technoblade critical #hot take ask!!!#i don't excuse his actions i just think things are not that easily said and done.#also didnt say it but i would NOT call him a mary sue. the only server mary sue is ranboo i am so sorry- LMAOOOO #that's not the concept of mary sue at all. it just- no it's just not i'm sorry #but i see where you're coming from anon and i respect your opinion!!! i just added my own since i said from the start #that i'd be saying what i thought of y'all's hot takes. if anyone just wants me to post your hot take and not say anything about it thats #fine! just lmk otherwise i Will comment on it i am a Law Major. i cannot Help Myself from Discussions #LMAOOOOOO

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sineala · 3 years

Note

Hey! I know you've received asks about long distance relationships before but I hope you don't mind if I ask, too :) The thing is a bit complicated and I need some advice, and your story is just so beautiful I'm like, "please adopt me!!" There's this person on tumblr whom I have a crush on, sort of: we've never actually interacted because I don't have a tumblr account but she posts a lot of things I love and info on herself too, so I feel like I know her. 1/2

2/2 I'm ace and never dated, which is a problem because I don't really know what to do, and I'm also very shy, but... the question is... what can I do? i can't just send her a message and say, "I have a crush on you, but you don't know anything of me. Can we try to date?" But on the other hand I really don't know how to start talking to her... :( sorry, I'm just an awkward human being... and thank you for listening to my problems! But of course feel free to ignore me. Take care ❤️

Okay. Wow. This is a lot, anon. I had to think for a while about how to say this as nicely as I possibly can, but: I don't think you should do what you're asking me how to do. At all. I don't think your feelings are bad or wrong or invalid, and I get why you feel the way you do, but there's really not a good, kind, or fair way to get the outcome that you want. You can try to make friends with her if you legitimately want to be friends with her, but you can't be friends with her for the purpose of dating her.

I have more to say under the Read More.

You might find it helpful to read something about the concept of parasocial relationships. The tl;dr version is that parasocial relationships are relationships that an audience experiences with people like celebrities or performers. You, the audience member, don't actually interact personally with the person you have this parasocial relationship with -- everything you know about them is because you actually know the persona they are adopting for public consumption, rather than the person themselves -- but you feel like you know them anyway.

I'm not saying that parasocial relationships are bad. They can be good! They can be positive! I'm pretty sure we all have them. Heck, media fandom is basically us having massive numbers of parasocial relationships with fictional characters! Parasocial relationships can be great and inspiring! Having a favorite character or a favorite celebrity can make you really happy! Do I have parasocial relationships too? Yeah, sure, you bet. The Goodreads review I have that has garnered the most likes is the one that is approximately 50% me explaining that I have a giant crush on Rachel Maddow. I have never met Rachel Maddow. I obviously do not know the real Rachel Maddow, and I would not want to actually for-real date her even if both of us were single. I can just be happy reading her books and watching her TV show. There's a video game I like to play, Slay The Spire, and I have a favorite Slay The Spire streamer on Twitch, and at this point I have probably watched hundreds of hours of this dude playing video games, and because of that, I know a lot of random facts about this guy's life. Does he seem like he'd be cool to hang out with? Yeah, sure. Have I ever interacted with him in any way other than subscribing to his YouTube channel? Nope! I don't even have a Twitch account! Do I know him as a person? Absolutely not.

I'm saying all this because social media is a place you can have parasocial relationships, and the relationship you have with this Tumblr user is parasocial. (Incidentally, the relationship you have with me is also parasocial; I mention this because I feel like you should know that asking me to adopt you is coming on a little too strong, as an opening interaction. I don't mean to make you feel bad about this, and I'm sorry if I have, but since you're asking about how to interact with people you've never spoken to before, you should probably know that.)

It basically comes down to this: you don't actually know this person, but you feel like you do because you've read her Tumblr. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. That's not a criticism. That's not a value judgment. I mean, technically, you don't know me either. That's just not the kind of relationship that I have with you, or that you have with her. It's parasocial, not reciprocal. And you really need to keep that in mind.

Can you form reciprocal relationships with people you have parasocial relationships with? I mean, yeah, maybe, depending on the person. And the answer to how you do that is basically the answer to the question "how do you make friends with people?" -- and it seems like you might like advice about that, since you said you were shy, You talk to someone about mutual interests that you both enjoy. You hang out. Maybe in RL in Better Times you meet up and go get lunch together. These days on the internet I make most of my internet friends by (1) squeeing back and forth at them about whatever fic they wrote and clogging up their AO3 comments until we take it to email, (2) yelling about fandom on Discord until we mutually discover we are like-minded enough to start yelling at each other in DMs directly, and (3) murdering them in games of Among Us and then lying about it. (Games are a bonding experience.)

You listen well, you share some things about yourself because that's what friends do and if the other person wants to be your friend they will share things back -- or maybe they will share things first, if they decide they want to be friends first. This is how we humans like to bond with each other. I feel like I am not very good at this friend-making thing, so I am not sure I am the best person to ask for tips. But that is basically how it works.

Can you be friends with this person? Maybe. I don't know. You can try. But what I do know is that you absolutely should not try to be friends with her with the intention of dating her. People don't like when they think someone is friends with them because they want something from them, and, generally, people really really don't like when someone is friends with them when the thing they want from them is a romantic relationship. You know how you hear people (usually straight guys) talk about being "friendzoned?" They're upset because they're friends with a woman they want to date and the woman sees them as only a friend. That is the realm your proposed interaction is adjacent to, and that is not a good place to be. Don't be like one of those guys.

I think you should ask yourself if you would be happy being friends with this person if there were zero possibility of romance with her. If you would be happy being just friends. And be honest with yourself. If, after some soul-searching, you decide that, yeah, you would feel 100% satisfied just being her friend if nothing else ever happened (and you have to honestly believe this), then and only then should you try talking to her.

What should you talk about? I don't know; you must have something in common. I have made friends with people because we both enjoyed Avengers volume 3 and classic Star Trek. I made friends with a bunch of people in college because we all liked to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Smallville. I have made friends with people because I told them I liked the book they were reading or the pins on their backpack. I have made friends with people because we both were in the same science-fiction online roleplaying group as teenagers and it turned out twenty years later we were sharing a fandom, we now lived in the same state, and we also liked the same folk music! I made friends with my wife because I wanted to complain to her about a Due South fanfic I was reading and she didn't like it either and then I was translating a text for class that was in Ancient Egyptian and the footnotes were in German and I didn't know German (and still don't) but I knew she did. At that point I had absolutely no clue there would be any romance involved there; I just thought she was really cool and she seemed to think I was cool and then we just kept talking.

So, y'know, maybe, if you just want to be her friend, you can try to do that. You can find out if you actually like her as an actual, real person. But you have to want to just be friends.

But if you think you'd be unhappy if you were just friends with her, you absolutely should not try to be friends with her, because that would be misrepresenting what you want and it would also be very unfair to her.

(Edited to add: I guess the other option is that you could, in fact, just be like, “Hey, I have a crush on you,” which would be both honest and forthright -- but I feel like that has a very, very low chance of working. Hence all the other advice.)

I hope that helps.

#Anonymous #replies

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dangan-happy · 3 years

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Hiro is secretly a sea urchin/ To anyone, preferably Kaito, Kokichi, and Twogami, but if they don't wanna answer that's okay. I've been doing horrible lately. Recently, I've discovered something really important about myself, and honestly, I'm glad I did, it solved a lot of doubts and questions about myself. But it's caused me a lot of anxiety. Let's just say I may or may not be something that my parents (especially my mom, whom I don't have the best relationship with.) pretty much despise. I've brought up the topic with that certain community a couple of times, and each time I do, they berate me. I'm terrified they'll do even worse when they find out, and something's coming up soon that might out me to them, and that's the last thing I want. I don't feel an ounce of security, not like I already did anyway, in my household anymore, and all I want to do is get out. I don't really know what to ask for here, maybe comfort and/or advice would be great. Thank you in advance :). -Spider Anon.

Hello Spider, I’m sorry to hear this. I can guess all of this has felt like a rollercoaster of emotions for you..

For one, discovering something about yourself is always a big thing! I want to say that I’m proud of you for that, truly. Being scared of it is just.. not good… at all. It’s truly sad to see people feel afraid of just being themselves, hopefully society changes for the better so this sort of situation stops being so common. It’s completely alright to be afraid, you shouldn’t feel shame in that, and asking for help from your peers isn’t bad either, hell, you’re doing it right now sending us this ask.

Even if it feels scary and it has your heart in your throat, things will be alright. Even if you don’t think they will, trying to not think negatively about it is for the best, try to relax. It will be hard but trying is better than doing nothing, so give it your all. I recommend speaking with someone working on the event about this, they’ll surely help you out in anything you might need. Best of luck, Spider.

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Hey it's no problem bro! You're Spider anon! You know I'm here for you man!! I totally want to answer and try to help you out! Yeah, sometimes self realizations are a double edged sword, I'm glad it cleared some things up for you, but I'm really sorry to hear you're not doing so good. Full disclosure, when you mentioned being something your parents aren't ok with, my mind went "Vampire", and I'm assuming that you're not some kind of cryptid (that would be cool though.)

Anyways, I think I get what you're implying, and it sucks to hear that your parents aren't cool with that kind of thing. Damn, you totally don't deserve to be berated! You're just getting treated all kinds of unfair! Oh damn, you might get outed? Crap, that's not good. Ok, the good news is that you know that there might be something coming, so that means you can kinda prepare for it, you know? See if there's anything you can do to stop yourself from getting outed. If you're not ready to come out, then that's fine! Being closeted gets such a bad name, but sometimes that closet is comfy, and it's totally ok to hang out in there until things are better for you. The biggest thing to do is to try and ensure your safety as much as possible. See if you can delay or stop the outing. The fact that you know what's coming can be a huge advantage for you, so use that as much as you can. Maybe reach out to other people around you who can support you or maybe help you out a little. You don't have to handle this alone, for every shitty community, there's a good one out there who will want to help you out.

And worst case scenario, if you do get outed, then you can still stay in the closet. Say something like you don't know why they said that, or that it was a mistake, or something like that. Protecting yourself is priority number one, ok? You're pretty dang tough spider anon, I've seen that so far. Whatever happens, you're gonna be able to handle it. You've proven to be super smart, and persistent, and you're just an overall awesome person. Whatever you figured out, that doesn't change who you are inside, and at the end of it all, no one can change who you are as a person, only you get to decide who you are, and from what I can tell, that's the super funky Spider anon who's lowkey one of my favorite askers. Keep doing whatever you spider can-on, you got this bro, believe in yourself!

Spider anon!! Hey I actually kinda missed you! Of course I'm gonna answer! Even if Kaito gets the stupid song in my head, which he did. But I'm still here for you no matter what, kay! Agreed, I'm glad you feel better with that discovery (God fucking dammit Kaito, I'm picturing a vampire too.) But yiiiiikes, I can confidently say that the thought of being outed/actually getting outed before you're ready is one of the scariest fucking things possible. I've said fuck like three times so far, I wonder if anyone's gonna stop me.

Going in for a fourth one, fuck the community that berated you. They don't get to say what's right or wrong about being yourself! That's just super gross and closeminded. I'm sorry that your parents are being disgusting about it too. You deserve so much more than people just despising you for no freaking reason. Kaito had the right idea believe it or not, try to stop it if you can, but I'm gonna give you some pro advice for if it happens, just in case. You ready? It is....Lie! I'm dead serious here.

If you do happen to get outed, try something like "Oh my god, I was joking when I said that, they took it seriously?!" Try to play it off as best you can. I call it playing the straight/cis/whatever else. If it's a matter of safety, I think that almost anything is fair game as a tool to protect yourself. As painful as it might be, maybe even lie about what you actually are, deny it in the public face. I know, it sucks, but your safety is the most important thing. You gotta survive for now, and you said you don't have a whole lot of security, so trying to build some up seems like a pretty solid idea. You're a real smart cookie Spider anon, that much is obvious, and you're so much more resourceful and generally just a better person than those around you.

You'll be able to get out someday, I promise. You might have to play the long game for now, but you have the skills to do that. Not to sound like Kaito, but believe in yourself. You're more capable than you think you are, and no matter what happens, you're valid. You're valid, you're a good person, and you're gonna be ok.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #byakuya twogami #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #mod swaggle #mod kaito #mod kokichi

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