#people who can talk about their like. attraction and interest in online figures are. so very brave

[faineant-girl]

sillyness in my head today.

#.tlktxt #people who can talk about their like. attraction and interest in online figures are. so very brave #i can talk about thinking an actor or musician is attractive with relatively no issue or much shame because like #1 i keep it mostly tame i try not to say anything inappropriate and 2 it is very very unlikely they will see it #but like. with people online?????? it feels different #like okay i dont think anyone will be surprised to heard i think the stupendium is a really attractive person right #BUT LIKE. HIW DO I EVEN talk to people about that. like i just feel embarrassed typing it #and not that its embarrassing to like stupes specifically or any online figure. attraction is a real thing and that is unhelpable. #like yeah. but i just. #maybe its just cuz i feel silly. because like. an actor is for the most part intangible. theyre real and i know theyre real its just #unlikely id ever meet them #but like. im goijgn to a concert this person is doing. i am going to get the chance to see them physically in person and talk to them. #and ghe idea of that makes me flustered. and THAT statement makes me feel sillyyyyy #that i let myself fall for a youtube musician......... #and its bad too because they are like. very much my type almost exactly #SO LIKE. are there other people out there. Like the stupendium. because #OKAY SORRY okay i won't ever talk about this again i prommy i just needed to get it out. the mortifying ordeal of attraction

[imnotjaesblog]

Part 3: The Gamer

Quick Summary: Haechan is an arrogant gamer. He's won many challenges regarding his online persona however there seems to be one thing in his real life he just can't seem to beat. One day while he plays online looking for someone to chat with he comes across a female character who sparks his interest. She's extremely good at the game and seems to know all his moves before he does. Out of curiosity, he turned his mic on to speak to her, inviting her to a room. She accepts his request and when they play alone together he instantly recognizes her sweet voice. And finally is able to over come that challenge, only to realize new ones arise.

Warnings: Smut lots of it. Cybersex, Physical intercourse, Oral sex (F.m receiving) Fingering, Degarding, Haechan gets smacked in the face but likes it, Haechan is also pussy whipped and Cursing.

Words: 9k

I did not mean to write so much I just got carried away.

MINORS DO NOT READ OR INTERACT!

Enjoy :)

Lee Haechan was not on the top of your list of types of men you wanted to date. You imagined yourself with someone who was physically taller than you, attractive, and humorous. You pictured someone who saw you as their equal and not their success to be placed among the trophies on their wall. You knew what this life had in store for you, your physical attributes being both a blessing and a curse. You wanted to change that for yourself.

So you parked your Mercedes just outside PCBangs where Haechan currently sat skipping his late-night math class. Like many just beyond those doors sat a bunch of gamers addicted to the sound of their fingers typing on the keyboard. Haechan sat amongst those same gamers fingers pressing into his keys and clicking his mouse eager to win whatever online game he was playing.

Stepping out of you're car you stepped towards the small building. You eyed it up and down scoffing. You have never been to this place like this before. You've driven past this specific place so many times, but you've never stepped inside. You pulled out the folded piece of paper from your pocket reading the name of the place under Haechan's name where Jisung wrote it.

Looking back up and seeing the name matched the place you folded the paper back, placed it in your purse, and stepped inside PCBangs.

You looked around noting the place was much bigger in the inside than the out. Rows and rows of people sitting in small cubicles. Face illuminated by computer screens. You walked further inside looking for Jisung who worked here, serving food and drinks to people.

You found him just behind the counter on his phone. Assuming he was just waiting for someone to place an order you walked over to him. "Hey," you said catching his attention. He nearly dropped his phone. Clearing his throat he sent you a shy wave. "Hey. I didn't know you were coming over here," He said surprised you spoke to him. You usually avoided talking to him in public to avoid questions. You figured in this dark room with everyone's eyes glued to a screen you had a chance to speak to him, besides it would only be brief. He's not what you are here for.

You shrugged placing your purse on the table and pulling out the list. Without saying his name you pointed to it. Jisung nodded handing you a pink juice. "He ordered this about two minutes ago. You can bring it to him," he said. You nodded with a cheeky smile. You folded the list away placing it back in your bag.

"You know what?" you asked looking at the drink and then Jisung. He wasn't following you at all. "I got a better idea," you said sipping his drink.

Walking past a few people you avoided their eyes, keeping your sunglasses on. Once you reached Haechan you tapped him. He only turned for a second jerking his head to the right. "You can leave it there. Thank you," he said. You assumed he believed you were a waitress. You chuckled placing the drink down. Staying behind him you slid your arms around his frame taking your sunglasses off and placing them over his eyes.

Confused he took them off turning around only to be met with your eyes. His chair spun his body sat in the chair meeting yours. You let your arms fall back into place. Hand holding your shoulder bag tightly a grin on your pink glosses lips. You stood before him. His confusion instantly morphed into joy. Putting your frames back on and leaning up to kiss you. With a smile on your lips, you turned your head, and he placed a kiss on your cool cheek.

"I didn't know you came here. Let alone play video games," he said in the form of a question. You shrugged taking off your bag and placing it on the small desk where the computer sat. He followed your eyes like a lost puppy waiting for you to respond to him.

"Only recently," you said in response a teasing undertone when you spoke. He didn't question any further. You grabbed onto the arm of his chair pulling him from his game. He smirked seeing you turn him away from the desk making room for you to step inside the small space.

You step inside your arms pulling his chair closer to you as you squatted sitting on his lip. He felt his throat tighten, his lips becoming dry. He licked them repeatedly as you sat down clearing his throat. He tried to control himself. He couldn't lose his mind right now, not here. The feeling, the underlying fantasy to push his hips up, pressing his semi-hard-clothed dick into your ass was building inside him. You shifted around swinging your legs so they'd be under the desk. He thought right then and there he'd lose all sense.

"Are you okay?" you asked shifting again just to hear his small reactions. His breath hitched and small noises left his plushed lips inches away from your ears. It was nothing but music to you. You were getting exactly what he needed. He let out another groan. He tried to cover it with the fact his character got shot in the game. The boy next to him with half a headset on looked over concerned. Haechan looked over at him hearing the boy's chair creak as he tried to take a peek at what was going on.

Haechan gave the boy a weird, awkward smile. The other boy raised his brow completely lost. "I've been at this all day. I've just been losing," he excused. The boy just nodded slowly and was slightly uncomfortable. He turned away fully placing his headset on his ears.

"How does this game work?" you asked a mischievous smile on your lips, a moan escaping past them. You let your hands ghost over him. Hovering over his right hand, he clicked slowly on his mouse, trying to regain focus. You leaned forward placing your elbow on the desk and chin in your hand.

You pushed your ass back further onto him planting itself right on top of his dick. He blinked a couple of times, unsure what to do with his free hand. He didn't know if you were pushing up on him on purpose, but what he did know was it felt good, too good. He was afraid he'd cum in his pants. He placed a hand on your hip trying his best to adjust you, but he couldn't deny how good the pressure felt.

He leaned close to your ear lips barely touching your skin. You could feel the faint of his warm breath tickling your skin sending a shudder down your neck. He smirked enjoying the feeling of you so close to him. Being this close to you he could smell your perfume. It fogged up his senses slowly turning him into a madman. Becoming addicted to being this close, being able to smell and taste you. He placed a small wet peck just under your ear on the back of your warm neck.

"I know what you're doing," he whispers laced with lust. The hand on his keyboard finds itself comfortably on your hips. He gave your waist a gentle squeeze. You could hear the grin on his lips the more he felt you apply pressure to his cock.

"Fuck baby your being such a bad girl, Rubbing your ass on my cock in front of all these people? You just want all these horny little boys to see you get off on my cock, huh?" he said surprising you for a moment. You moaned low letting your head fall back on his shoulder. He scoffed help you fix your body. The other hand that was on his mouse's left, bringing itself down your neck. Sliding down the rest of your body, however, he stopped at the button of your pants.

You moved back a little, letting your ass rest just on his pelvis. Your clothed clit rubbed against his clothed dick, searching for any kind of friction. He groaned deeply into your ear, eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment then opening again. Haechan having enough of your behavior stilled your hips.

You chuckled listening closely as you heard Haechan slowly start to fall apart. He was trying to control you, he'd probably try and make you get on your knees under his desk and suck him off then maybe if your good he'll reward you. God knows he was imagining it, maybe he should tell you more of his dirty little thoughts revolving around you.

While this sounded delicious, you had overheard a story about the pretty boy once. At one of Jaehyun's many parties. You recall being in someone's bedroom playing truth or dare. One of the girl's truths was to tell her most embarrassing hook-up story. You didn't know the girl very well but you know an unsatisfied girl when you see one.

She said how "Haechan loves to claim he's a dom," making all the girls giggle and gush in that random boy's bedroom. Based on the alcohol smell it was most likely Yuta's. You looked around his bedroom not paying much attention to the story, but you did remember one, now important part of the story.

" He claimed he loves "being in charge" and "taking control," she said sarcastically. One of the girls had scoffed, "So what? You're saying he's a pussy?" she asked causing some of the other girls to laugh. She shook her head lips pursed. "Nope," she responded. The girl across from her straightens up now interested in the story. "Then what is she?" she asked eager to hear more. You continued looking around the room picking up a basketball trophy barrier under some tank tops, from a few years back.

"Worse, I can deal with pussy though," she joked causing everyone to laugh. You even giggled placing the trophy back. The other girl who asked the original question tapped the girl's arm who you assumed was her friend. She tapped her trying to grab hold of her attention again. "What is it then?" she asked. Once the laughter died down the girl with the long brown hair spoke.

"He lies about fucking girls but the only girls he fucked is online," she said causing some's eyes to widen and other blinked confused. "So what he has a lot of phone sex?" another girl asked. The brown-haired girl nodded her head. "It's easy to pretend to fuck and be a dom when you don't have to see the person and they don't have to see you. The little arrogant prick is a virgin," she said crossing her arms over her chest. She wasn't upset though, she was more annoyed them anything. You all had found out she had found out this news earlier in the night.

That party was only a few weeks ago, no way he lost his actual virginity during that time spent.

Hearing him being so nasty to you now on the phone was perfect. He told you he had only imagined you on his lap while he slid past your pants and pushed his thick fingers into your tight hole fucking your wet pussy so well and soo deep. He currently sat in PCBangs legs spread and hand squeezing his dick underneath his desk with you on the phone. You knew by the sound of his voice he was close to coming so you stopped.

"Haechan," you called through breaths. "Yes?" he asked a sigh escaping his lips.

"Come over, I want you to fuck me for real," you said a breath leaving your lips smirk forming. You heard his cough a couple of times before the phone hung up. You chuckled to yourself sitting up on your bed and walking over to your bathroom not too far from your desk. As you stepped inside you removed your silky pajama set stepping out of your shorts. You placed off to the side fixing up your hair to take a shower.

The shower water is turned on, and you let your hand go past the glass feeling the warmth of the water. You adjusted the heat testing again. You smiled once the water felt just right. You stepped inside the shower closing the glass that covered your naked frame. You hummed letting the warm water touch your skin. You felt the steam calm down your body, the hot water relaxing your muscles. This was always your favorite part of the day. You closed your eyes taking in the warm water wishing this peaceful moment could last forever.

After some time the water ran cold. You sighed opening your eyes annoyed you had to step out. You look down and see the wrinkles in your hand. "I'm pruning," you said jokingly to yourself. You chuckled turning the water off and pulling the glass back. You stepped out on your bath mat drying yourself. You wrap a towel around your body and walk into your bedroom shutting the light off in your bathroom.

You walk over to your walk-in closet. You didn't have to walk too far in, on the left hung your pajama sets. You skimmed through an array of sets. Some blue, green even a couple of pink sets. Your eyes landed on the lilac set. You took it off the track changing into the garment. You checked yourself in your full-length mirror, twirling around and swaying from side to side you hummed satisfied with your look. You left the closet closed the light and walked to your vanity.

You sat down in your white cushion seat pulling out all your lotions and creams. You applied the vanilla-scented lotion to your warm skin. The lights from the mirror illuminate your face. You turned to the mirror applying some creams to your face. Your skin glowed under the light. "This feels so much better," you commented your skin feeling less dry and tight. You smiled clapping your hands together. "Where is my phone?" you asked out loud searching for the piece of technology.

You spotted it on your lamp desk. You walked over picking it up and switching to your camera. You snapped some shots of yourself seeing Jisung's name show up on your screen.

"How did everything with your plan go? You left before I could ask what it was," he asked you leaned over switching off your LED mirror. You stood up pushing in the chair. "It went as well as I expected it to," you said walking over to your room light switch. You flicked it off hearing the sound of your dog plopping on your bed. She walked in circles paws digging into your mattress before she found a comfortable spot to lay.

"Also you never told me Haechan is a virgin. I mean I already knew but it seems like a pretty important piece of information," you commented calling Jisung out on his poor skills in being your spy. He chuckled you could hear the mattress dip from the other side of the phone. He played around with the strings on his hoodie as he listened to your voice. He didn't mind you talking about a whole other boy while on the phone with him. As long as he got to talk to you, that was alright with him.

You sat back on your pillow on your bed pulling your covers back. Hand reaching out to touch your real pillow princess. She snuggled up to your hand. "He is? He told everyone he wasn't," he said genuinely surprised. He sat up on his bed a bit Yangyang turned to him taken back by the boy's reaction. Jisung brushed him off with his hand motioning for him to leave. He rolled his eyes but listened to the younger one closing the door behind him.

You chuckled on the other end. "Even if I didn't hear the story of how he lost his phone virginity I would have known. Man, you are such a dork," you teased hand pulling back from petting your now sleeping dog. The same hand crosses over your chest. Your elbow leaning on your free arm. Jisung frowned but didn't pay much attention to your comment. You usually joked with him that way, kind of like everyone else. At least you knew when to stop the jokes or the appropriate time to make them.

The guys at the house only ever spoke to him when they needed someone to throw jokes at. It used to be Taeyong whom they picked on, but after he moved in along with Jaemin and Haechan it seemed like he was their new punching bag. He shrugged off most of your jokes as just jokes. Unlike his so-called 'friends' whose jokes felt more like insults. He didn't mind when you called him a dork, it came off more as an endearing nickname than a petty insult.

"Whatever," he chuckled a little after your laughter died down. "At least I provide you with good information," he threw back confidently. You nodded pursing your lips. "That you do," you answered unable to deny his skills.

"So tell me who else," you said. Jisung raised a brow getting more comfortable on top of his sheets. "Who else what? Is a virgin?" he asked just making sure he heard you right. "No, I want to know who else has a dog. Of course who else is a virgin!" you said licking your teeth. " I wanna know who else is a liar," you said checking your nails your eyes rolling in annoyance. Jisung sighed thinking about it for a moment.

"Okay from what I know Haechan is a virgin-,"

"Yes, yes we know that already," you said cutting him off annoyed he just wouldn't get to the point. He sighed letting out a sarcastic laugh. "If you cut me off again I won't finish," he said.

"Just go!" you shouted through the phone emphasizing the O. He sighed shaking his head not believing for a second he was having this conversation. "Well Mark, Doyoung, and Taeyong are virgins,-"

"We know that," you said cutting him off again.

"That's it I give up!" he said hearing you whine. "I'm sorry I'll shut up," you promised. He sighed a smile on his lips. He shook his head looking up at his ceiling and then back at the spot on the wall in front of him in his dark room.

"This may come as a surprise but I know for a fact Jeno is a virgin," he said causing your eyes to widen almost throwing yourself off your bed in shock. Next to Jaehyun, Yuta, and Johnny, you would have bet money, confidently Jeno wasn't a virgin. Captain of the hockey team with girls constantly throwing themselves at him and he's never fucked any of them. It just seems too hard to believe.

"No way. How do you even know?" you asked still shocked by this information. Jisung recalled the moment he discovered his friend claimed he 'lost his virginity'. Telling their friend group he lost it to his high school girlfriend when he first joined his high school basketball team. He claims they broke up once he started college and switched to hockey which is why no one had ever seen her or met her. Privately Jisung questioned this and in a future moment he and Jeno brought up the topic again.

"He asked me if I was a virgin. I didn't respond and instead asked him. I think he knew that I knew he was lying and told me the truth. He did have a girlfriend during high school, but once they graduated they split and he went to college a virgin," he said thinking about how he never thought he'd ever share this story.

"Wow," you said through a small gasp. "And you?" you asked. Jisung caught off guard stilled for a moment. He felt his breathing begin to pick up the sweater starting to make him hot and uncomfortable. You waited for his response but it never came. "Jisung?" you called tilting your head unsure as to why he didn't respond. He cleared his throat removing his sweater.

"Yes?" he asked again.

"Are you okay?" You asked. He nodded unsure what to do with his hands. He swallowed hard before he responded trying to cleanse his now dry throat. "If you nodded I can't hear that," You commented noticing he took too long again. "Sorry, I'm fine," he responded through nervous blinks.

"Good. So are you a virgin?" you asked. He went to respond but you received a notification. "I-" he began but was cut off by you. "I'm sorry Haechan is calling me I have to go," you said apologetically. You were genuinely sorry. You discovered after becoming closer to the boy you enjoyed his company. You liked talking with him, he made you feel so normal, so comfortable. You felt like you could tell him. anything and he'd never judge you. I mean how could he? He was helping you ruin the people he called his friends.

"It's fine," he said a mixture of disappointment and relief in his tone. He wanted to keep talking to you. Heck, he could go on for hours just listening to your voice alone. He enjoyed the sound of your voice being his lullaby and sometimes morning call. He assumed you liked talking to him as well. You call him a lot and invite him over, sometimes even letting him stay in your spare room. However, he didn't know where the topic of him not being or being a virgin was going, and that made him nervous. He doesn't want to ruin the relationship you two have, it's truly special to him. You are special to him.

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow," you said wearing a weak smile. Your phone continued to ring as you hung up just as Jisung was saying goodnight.

"Hello," you addressed Haechan. You could hear loud wind coming from the other side of the line. "Hey I'm outside your place," he said arms crossed over his chest. The cool fall air nibbed at the parts of his skin left exposed. He zipped up his sweater to his chin, the cool wind under the night sky nipping at his skin.

You pulled your covers back your fluffy, beige dog picking her head seeing you put on your white slippers. You walked over to your rack picking off your lilac robe. You slid your arms through the holes, tying the fabric that hung around your waist.

The lilac robe with black feathers at the ends and collar kept your body warm as you stepped out to your living room. "Come upstairs. Fedrick knows you are here for me," you said resting on your couch. You let your slippers slide off your feet landing on the white carpet. You turned on your electric fireplace not too far from where you sat, just beyond the coffee table.

"Stay on the phone with me?" he asked walking inside your building. You nodded gleamful eyes watching your fireplace. Your couch was placed a few feet away from your door, perks of having such a large living space. The giant flatscreen mounted on the wall a few inches above the fireplace.

Your kitchen is a few feet behind you, with a dark marble island, and a small bar not too far from the fridge. "Sure. Just let me know when you are here so I can open the door," you responded a teasing undertone in your voice. Haechan let out an airy chuckle. You could hear his heavy boots as he stepped into the elevator.

You heard a scratch from down the hallway that led to a few rooms like the guest room, a bathroom, your office, and your bedroom. You didn't think much of it hearing small clicks on the floor. You heard a plop next to you. You looked over seeing your dog's tail waging back and forth. You smiled petting her head. You heard the elevator ding indicating he was close. He like some others knew where you lived since you were known for having small get-togethers inside your apartment various times throughout the year.

"I'm heading down the hallway now. I should be there soon," He said making his way down the brown velvety hallway. "Haechan can you hurry up? I miss you," you pouted. You smirked once you started to hear his pace pick up. His breathing quicked and footsteps became heavy as he rushed across the beige carpet floor. You looked towards your door. Silence washed over your entire apartment. You saw when two feet stopped in front of your door. The silence still made itself known in the room. You could only hear the small faint breaths of your pet.

Knock Knock

"I'm outside," he said. You hung up standing up from your place on the couch. You walked over to the door fixing up your top, pushing your breast up with your bra. Undoing the knot just slightly so the robe would expose more of your cleavage. You pulled the robe back inches from your shoulder so the bottom would ride up. You smiled satisfied with yourself. Until you realize you have forgotten your perfume. Lucikly you always kept a spare in your-

"What the fuck?" you cursed to yourself searching through your bag. You pulled out your wallet, gum, and lip gloss. You dumped the whole bag next to the table where your keys were placed and found nothing. You let out a sigh in disbelief. Another knock on your door caught your attention. You turned your neck to the door. "Just a minute!" you called turning back to your dissolved purse. You never take that small bottle out of your bag. There's no way you just lost it. You placed everything away wishing no one had stolen it.

Instead, you went to your room quickly running down the glossy wooden hallway. You grabbed the larger bottle from your nightstand spraying it on your wrist, neck, and chest. You twirled around and rubbed it into your skin. Then you placed down running quickly back to the door. You let out a breath as you placed your hand on the knob then, like an actress slowly opened the door.

Haechan stood there hands stuffed in his sweater pockets, jeans touching just slightly past his ankles, and boots on his feet making him a few inches taller than he normally was. His head lifted from his boots that dug into the carpet to meet your frame. He couldn't see the way his eyes scanned your body. Your warm, soft skin is on display for him to see. Your fingers graze over the slit of your silky robe playing with the hem. Haechan sucked in a breath a vibration against his teeth.

Curious eyes wandered your skin imagining sinful thoughts. His mind clouded with lust picturing you above him straddling his waist aligning his thick cock at your entrance and pushing it past your tight hole and into your velvet walls. He wanted to know what sounds you'd make when he thrust upwards into your hole. What sounds would your pussy make when you swallowed him. Would you whimper and moan? Or would you groan chasing after more?

Skin on skin, your sweat dripping down your body and mixing with his creating a mixture of heat. He wanted you to fuck him raw and dirty, pull his hair and grab his neck cutting his airflow.

He felt the strain in his pants the more he thought of you. He mustered up some courage to speak to you, say anything to you. He didn't know what to do with himself in front of such a pretty girl.

"You look nice," He said with a shy smile fiddling his thumbs in his sweater pockets. The sweater brings him comfort in this moment. Taking another glance at you he regretted hanging up earlier. He wanted to hear what you sounded like when you cum. You smiled taking his arm and pulling him inside. "Why don't you take to me like you do in your games," You said guiding him down the hallway with a sway of your hips when you turn the corner to your bedroom. He licked his dry lips simply nodding his head and letting out a breathy, "Okay"

You pushed him onto your bed a mischievous smile on your lips. You raised a finger to him. "One second," you said turning away and walking to your dresser. Haechan watched your every move making sure to not miss a single step in your walk. Haechan's hand traveled from his sweater to the print on his jeans.

You hadn't done much but guide him to your room, touching his hand, he might have also caught a whiff of your addicting perfume. That was enough for him to lose his mind. The dirty boy squeezing himself over his jeans his lip caught between his teeth. He couldn't help it anymore, letting his hand unbutton his jeans and pull out his dick.

The tip angry and red in his fist precum spilling out the tip. His cock is in pain and in need of being touched. He fisted himself slowly at the thought of you on your knees in front of him. Your hand replacing his spreading his creamy juice all over his throbbing dick. The way it would twitch in your hand as you jerked him.

His head was thrown back in pure bliss thanking the Gods for this moment as you placed him flat on your wet tongue. Hearing your saliva mixture with his cum, the squish sounds it would make as you bobbed on his cock so dumb on his shaft. His hand comes up to your head holding your hair in his grip the harder you took him. The moans you make vibrating his dick. It was too much for him he was gonna cum-

"Having fun?" you asked arms crossed over your chest. You had already grabbed what you needed but upon arriving back you saw the perverted boy's legs spread out, mouth open, eyes shut closed with his cock in his hand covered in cum. He panicked adjusting himself and removing his hand from his dick. You had removed the robe left in the silk top nipples peeking from underneath and shorts barely covering your thighs giving Haechan something else to think about.

"I'm sorry," he blabbed eyes glossy and lips tinted red from how hard he bit them. "That's okay my love. Since it's your first time I'll be nice," You said walking over to him. Without a thought, he slowly laid back the closer you got. Your hands find his zipper and pull it down his frame. You took it off his shoulders yanking it down his torso. He watched in awe as you underdressed him listening to every command and order you gave. He pulled his t-shirt over his head watching as you pulled down his jeans and boxers leaving him completely naked in front of you.

"Sit right," you demanded seeing him straighten himself up. Your demands going straight to the head of his dick. Precum leaking through the tip and seeping past the cloth. His hand sliding to his cock again like the perv he is. He squeezed himself the precum shooting up past a small opening by his tummy. Droplets settling on his stomach.

You pouted mocking him standing in between his legs you took the hand that was on his dick and brought it to your clothed pussy. He watched you with wide eyes letting you use his fingers. He groans slipping past his lips once you let his hands explore without your help. Slipping past your shorts and finding your wet folds he groaned cock twitching a gush of cool air hitting his skin making him rut his hips upwards.

"Fuck your so wet," he praised circling his fingers around your clit. His fingers coating in your clear juice. Dancing around and collecting as much of you as he could. You dripped down your thigh, forming a puddle on your sheets. You yanked his hand away. Feeling cocky he brought his fingers to his nose sniffing you. Then he let his glistening fingers slip past his pink lips.

He bit lips head falling back at your scent. Your pussy almost as addictive as your perfume. He hummed at the taste, his digits still past his lips savoring your sweet taste on his tongue.

You pulled a red ribbon out of your short pockets snapping your fingers to get his attention. He opened his eyes quickly finger slipping from his lips. Already drool forming at the corner of his mouth. In a matter of ten minutes, you had made him completely pussy whipped making the rest of the night just too easy. "This is for you," you said placing the ribbon over his eyes. He was confused but let you do your thing. He didn't mind exploring new kinks if it meant he got to fuck you in the end.

"This should help," you whispered to him. "Leave it on," You said sternly. You pulled down your shorts throwing them to the side as well as your top standing naked before him. He whined at your loss a few seconds away from pulling up the ribbon to see where you went. But he listened to you.

Your fingers danced on his thighs, and he shuddered at the sudden contact. "Haechan," You called sitting on your bed, sitting behind him. Your legs wrapped around him. His hands grazed your skin, up and down your thighs. You leaned your head on his shoulder tilting it to the crook of his neck.

"Talk to me baby," You said. It finally clicked in his head what you were doing. You knew he was a virgin, you must have heard the infamous story of him thickening out at Jaehyun's party. All because he wanted to stop the teasing he received from his friends. He had spoken to many of the girls he met online while gaming every night. And with Jisung showing up to the house less and less it made it easier for him to talk to the girls in their room.

He'd talk to them through his headset creating a private room for just the two of them. He didn't want their numbers, or socials he just wanted to cum and go. Until you found him in one of his games. You had Jisung play for you while you spoke to Haechan. He knew your voice the minute you spoke to him and was more than willing to give you his number. That's how he ended up here, he considered himself so lucky. So now to make this moment worth it, he was going to say exactly what he always imagined to you.

"What do you want to do to me? Show me," you whispered to him touches lingering on his skin as you faded away leaning back on your pillows. His ears followed the distance you created. He sucked in his teeth but turned his body to you.

"First I'd touch you here," He said hands reaching your neck and caressing the warm skin. He leaned down closer using his other senses to find you. "Then I'd kiss you," he said pressing his lips onto you. The kiss was passionate and wet. Tongues mixing and exchanging salvia. Your hands tangling in his hair yanking on his locks. Who knew he kissed so well?

He let go catching his breath, chest rising up and down. "Then," he said through his pants, hair starting to fall in front of his face. "I'd touch you," His fingertip dragged down your skin, down the valley of your breast, just past your belly and to your pussy.

“Here," he said gathering all your wetness on his finger and spreading it throughout your folds, coating it on your clit. You couldn't deny the way he was making you feel. The warmth he created throughout your body was incredible and the attention he paid to your clit with his fingers felt heavenly. He was being selfish with you, all because he had something to prove to the world. A virgin can fuck and feed like am an experienced man.

"Then I'd put my tongue here," he said leaning down to your chest. You could feel the strains of his brown locks tickle your skin. He used his head to feel around your skin stopping once he found your left breast. His mouth engulfed your nipple sucking on the hard bud.

You let out a moan going straight to Haechan's ears his cock twitching as it pressed against your inner thigh. You let out a few more moans as he speeded up on your clit. He loved the sounds you made for him only encouraging him to go faster.

Your back arched off your bed mouth falling open as he released from your breast. "Then," he said a smirk on his lips his fingers slowing down making you whimper at the sudden loss. You reached your hand up slapping him across his skin. His head turned to the side red print on his face, but he wasn't mad. The little perv liked it letting out a pleasurable groan dick thrusting forward. "Don't get cocky," You said sternly. He nodded bowing his head wanting to mess up again just so you'd hit him again.

"I'm sorry Mommy I won't get carried away again," He said body moving downwards. He leaned down to your belly. "How about I make it up to you?" he asked pressing wet kisses on your soft skin his hair tickling your tummy. He moved his head to look up at you even though he couldn't see you.

He pictured what you look like right now. Probably sweaty, hair sticking to your forehead and neck. Chest rising up and down. Nipples hard shuddered everything you felt a cool breeze on your skin. The thoughts encouraged him, kissing his way down your body.

He sucked your clit then pulled away. You let out a loud whine making him groan mouth falling open. "Then I'd take you in my mouth and give you everything you deserve. I'd suck you so good Mommy, make you cum so hard," he said sinful acts clouding his judgment. His mouth engulfed your clit tongue flicking the bud quickly. You moaned an earthy moan bringing your hands to his hair gripping tightly on the locks.

“Fuck your doing so well baby,” You praised looking down and seeing his head completely disappear between your thighs. His tongue lapping between your folds. More of your white, creamy juice slipping past your hole onto his thick tongue. The scene made you moan out loud seeing his hips flexing into your mattress fucking your sheets. You allowed him to fuck your sheets seeing him get off was hot.

He brought his finger up your hole feeling the way your juice dripped out of you. He caught the drop on the tip of his finger circling it around your hole then pushing was remaining back inside you curling his fingers upwards. Your back arched using your elbows you tried to pull yourself away but Haechan didn't let you.

Arm wrapping around your frame pushing your stomach down and other fucking into your pussy so well you could cry. He pulled away for a second still fucking you so well and deep with his fingers. "Just wanna be good for you," he pleaded got mouth sucking your clit again. You lifted yourself on your elbows watching the boy completely turn into an animal on your pussy. Your hands pushing his face further into your core. Flexing your hips, humping his tongue the point of his nose meeting your clit.

You felt your whole body vibrate the pleasure becoming to much for you. You tried to push him away again but he didn’t let you. Using his big hand to hold you down pushing your stanch and yanking you forward. You squirmed under his touch feeling his fingers explore places no one have ever reached. Curling up inside you motioning a “come here” with his index and middle as he grazed your happy repeatedly making your mind run wild.

He felt himself on the brink of cumming again once you flexed your hips into his mouth, but he didn't want to cum like this. He wanted to cum once he got to fuck you. Spilling his creamy, thickness into your pussy. So to his shame, he pulled away making you whine after being denied another orgasm tonight.

"Haechan," you whined but he shushed you with his lips. Only finding your mouth when you released faint little breaths. "I haven't fucked you yet Mommy," he said above your lips. His mouth covered in your slick. You turned your head, arm extending to open your dresser to pull out a condom. You sat up opening it up and sliding it on him. He groaned at the feeling of your hands on him.

You sat back spreading your legs and pulling his waist towards you. You aligned him at your entrance helping him slowly push his cock inside you. He felt the groans get stuck in his throat. He had never been inside a woman ever but something about you felt different, so special.

Haechan looked a mess. Fat cock jerking in his hands as he prepared himself to fuck you. Mouth and fingers still shiny with your juice. Precum stains on his thighs. Drool falling from his lips. His hair stuck to his forehead but also different parts pushed back from how hard you pulled on his hair. He looked totally fucked out. He palmed himself slowly aligning himself at your glistening hole.

"Then I'd push my cock into your tight hole," he said letting out a groan as you squeezed around him. He gripped your waist using it as support holding himself straight. The squishing sound he heard when your juice formed at your hole, pushing it back inside you sent him into a frenzy. His head fell hair dangling on his skin. You moaned, him filling you up so deliciously you could cry. He pulled his hips back out and gripped your waist tightly making sure he wouldn't fall.

"Then I'd fuck you so well," he said plunging himself back into you. You let out a loud, earthy moan coming deep from the back of your throat. He was so snug inside you reaching places no one had reached before. Haechan was losing himself above you eyes squeezed shut underneath the red ribbon. His mouth open spilling thousands of curses from his dirty mouth. You were taking him so well, being so good for him. He needed you to feel how good you were making him feel.

"Fuck princess your pussy's swallowing my cock up so well. I could fuck you all day. Just imagine what I could do if I had this pussy every day and night. So tight around my dick, I could practically feel you're dripping down my cock," He spat praise after praise from his plumped red lips. You whimpered at his words, no one ever said such dirty things to you before. Maybe after this, you could still keep Haechan open for a future fuck.

"Fuck baby you squeezing so hard around my cock," he said pushing his chest out and flexing his biceps around your waist pounding into your small wet hole. "Fuck Haechan you feel so good inside me," you pleaded a moan escaping your lips. Your head falls back on your soft pillow the headboard smacking into the wall. Thank God your neighbors were on vacation.

You continued to clench around the boy squeezing him so deliciously tight he couldn't stand straight. He fell forward rutting his hips into you like a dog. Vigorously he kept his pace loving the way you moaned his name loud enough for everyone to hear. You wrapped your arm around him pulling him close to you his mouth wrapping around your nipple sucking on the hardened nub.

"Fuck princess you're doing so well for Daddy," he praised against your skin. The praise was getting to your head and going straight down to your pussy and the cocky mother fucker knew it too.

You caught his devilish smirk. You couldn't let him think he had you, you had to remind him where he was and who he was fucking. You pulled his mouth away using all your strength to flip him over slipping out of him. He let out a small whine disappointed, he was so close.

You straddled his waist aligning his cock at your entrance. You leaned down body slightly hovering over his. You licked a strip on his lips catching his focus. His chest rose quickly up and down slight pants in every breath he took. Sweat glistened all over his body under your dimly lit bedroom light. His tone, honey skin just barely shone courtesy of the moon.

His brown locks in all different places pointing to opposite sides of the room. Parts of his skin, including his face a burning red color from all the grabbing and smacking. The imprint of his fingers is still on your waist and arms. When you stood up high above him you could feel your juice run down your leg. When you leaned forward you could feel it drip onto his leg.

So you gathered so of it on your index finger trancing it over his lips. He puckered his lips trying to suck your finger between his teeth. You chuckled pulling your finger away. Your fingers came together grabbing onto his chin and holding him in place.

"You seem to have forgotten who's in charge here. I'd hit you again but I think you liked that," You said Haechan felt his cheeks warm up a blush rising on them as you spoke about his secret kink. You lifted your hand the other and placed it on his hard chest right where you could feel his heartbeat quicken. He was hoping you were doing what he believed you were.

You played with the fabric around his eyes. "You have a lot to say when you can't see me. But how about when I take this off," you said barely above his face. "Can you still talk as good as you fuck when you can see me?" You asked just above a whisper. He nodded slowly hoping anything he'd say would just get you to remove the blindfold. You smirked moving back taking the ribbon in your eyes and slowly peeling it from his eyes.

His eyes fluttered open widening the minute he saw you. Straddling his waist, naked and wet just like he dreamed. He reached out his hands needing so desperately to touch you with with his eyes. He groaned at the sight pulling you forward watching your pussy slide against his cock jerking it on his tummy.

Brows furrowed and hands tight on your waist he let his tip touch your clit and pussy jerk his shaft. He couldn't put his thoughts into words. He couldn't even feel you all that well, the condom in the way. But still, we are so intoxicated by you, the woman he dreamed about. Obsessed with the very idea that you wanted him this close.

You brought your hand stopping him. You pulled back rising high. He stammered his words a part of him not ready to see you fuck him. But the other half screaming at him to just let you do what you needed to do, you were already giving him everything and he wanted it to continue that way.

"Y/n can we- Oh Fuck," he cursed feeling you push into him sucking his cock so well. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck," he cursed as you rutted your hips against him. His eyes jumped out of their socket and his lips formed an O as he reached so far into you. His hands help you thrust forward.

“Fuck you feel so good," he groaned his head falling back on your pillow. You slide your hips up slowly and then let your ass fall back on to his lap, your bubbly flesh rippling as they slap against his thighs. There’s a faint slick noise in the background. Your pussy leaking all over his fat cock. Creamy white slick dribbling down his shaft and to his balls.

His chest rising up and down sweat dripping down his chest. "You doing so well for me baby," you praised hand sliding up his chest and wrapping around his neck giving it a gentle squeeze causing a choked moan to spill from his mouth. His lips pouted whimpers fell from his throat. You continued flexing your hips into him quickly chasing your high.

"Fuck baby," He cursed trying to get the words out but your grip on his neck was too tight. "I'm gonna cum," he coughed. You released some of the pressure you had on his neck watching as he gasped for air. But he didn't stop nor push you away continuing to pull your hips forward. He felt his climax approaching quickly, he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

His whole body twitched his mouth falling open and back arching off your mattress. "Fuck baby I'm cuming," he groaned snapping his hips into yours. He spilled into the condom legs shaking and toes curling as he came.

Your clit rubbed against his pelvis chasing after your high that was so close you could taste it. "Fuck me too," you moaned the knot in your stomach bursting coating his cock. You both caught your breath before you slipped out of him. You lay on your back chest rising up and down. Haechan leaned over to wrap his arms around your wiats but you stopped him.

"You can go. The door will lock itself when you leave," you said turning your neck to him his hand still placed on the curve of your hip. He raised a brow scoffing. "What? You kicking me out?"

You chuckled villainous smile on your lips. "What did you think was gonna happen? Don't your friends do it all the time? And so do you when you hang up on those girls and ghost them," you retorted with a shrug of your shoulders. With wide eyes, he looked so offended. "So this was all what some stupid lesson? he asked showing his defense.

You leaned up to him placing a soft peck on his cheek. "Better?" you asked. He huffed standing up from your bed. He gathered his clothes and got dressed. He kept looking back at you but you hadn't even turned to face him just playing with the blanket that covered half your body. He scoffed shaking his head feeling used and not in the way he intended to be.

"So that's it?" he asked hands snapping at his waist now fully dressed minus his black boots. "You take my virginity and kick me out like some slut?" he asked motioning to your bed. You sighed turning to him and pulling the blanket to cover your body. You sat up on your pillows supporting your back and turning to your side to pull out your baby wipes. You cleaned yourself as you spoke to him.

"Haechan don't make me explain it to you. You and your selfish little dirty friends do this to girls all the time. Whether you fuck them in person or online so what makes a difference if I do it?" you asked him. He remained shut knowing deep down he couldn't fight back. Everything you were saying was true. But it made him think. Could this have something to do with Si Cheng?

"Is this because of Si Cheng?" he asked. He picked at your wound and it stung. You hid the hurt on your face. You coudln't let him see you as weak. You straighten yourself throwing away the baby wipe keeping your cool.

"You think I wanted to fuck you because of your idiotic friend? Regardless if I told you if I fucked him or not you wouldn't believe me. So I think it's best if you keep the questions out of your head and don't worry about my business. I fucked you right? Isn't that what you always wanted?" you asked a sly smirk on your lips. You couldn't help but smirk, you had hit another nerve.

He scoffed shaking his head unable to spit anything back at you. Even if you fucked Si Cheng or not he still got to fuck you and that's what mattered. He turned away opening your door but before he could leave you stopped him.

"Oh Haechan," you called. He stopped his hand on the doorknob. He turned his head slightly the corner of his eyes watching you from over his neck. "Yes?" he asked laced with attitude.

You made an o shape of your lips pretending his word stung. You wanted to laugh but you'd save it for Wendy. Instead, you shook your thoughts clearing your throat to speak.

"Tell anyone about this and I'll have my father cut off your dick and have it mailed to you by Christmas," you warned. His heart rate quickened. Men, and women, anyone for that matter who messed with you never returned once your father was involved. All he did was nod, he even turned and bowed to you as he left.

"Would you like this open or closed?" he asked.

"Closed is fine," you responded. He nodded quickly waving, "Have a goodnight," he said closing the door behind him. You could hear him quickly run down the hallway. Then a few minutes later a shut and lock of your door. You stood up out of bed to handle your business. When you returned to bed in fresh clothes you pulled out your list crossing off Haechan's name.

"I have to be careful," you said warning yourself. Yangyang may not have questioned you but for a moment of weakness, Haechan did. You were able to save your ass this time, but next time you have to be more careful.

You looked down your list seeing who was next.

Na Jaemin

The campus dealer.

This should be real fun you thought to yourself smiling at your list as you folded it back off. You clapped your hands together light shutting off completely. You put on your sleeping mask, pull it down your eyes, and turn to your side falling to sleep.

When Haechan arrived home that night Jisung waited in his room seeing the boy stumble in. Based on his face your plan worked. Jisung smiled to himself catching Haechan's attention.

"What's got you smiling all stupid like that?" he asked. Jisung scoffed, he was taking his attitude out on him like always. He shrugged, "Life has been going well for me. Made some new friends," he responded watching Haecahn flop on his bed. "Lucky you," he said face in his pillows. He remained there for a few seconds before he pushed up.

"Bad night?" Yangyang asked. Haechan sighed running a hand throw his hair.

"It seems like it's not gonna work between me and that girl I was telling you about," he said disappointed. Yangyang sighed, "That makes two of us," he responded trying to make him feel better.

Jisung pulled out his phone to text you.

Sung- He's pissed lol

He waited for your response. He placed his phone down looking towards the right. Right next door was Yuta's now shared room with Jaemin. He smirked knowing Jaemin was probably going to be one of the easiest yet.

--

You couldn't wait for Jaehyun's party this Saturday.

To Be Continued...

Thank you all so much for reading Part 3 of my 10-part series Easy A. I really hope you enjoyed Part 3: The Gamer and I truly didn't mean for it to be so long. Overall thank you so much for reading a staying tuned for the next part of my series. Part 4: The Supplier!

If you know someone who would enjoy this don't be shy to share it with them! Please remember to like and vote!

Tags: @sexygrass @jakiki94 @90s-belladonna @soobiverse @ethelia @notevenheretbh1 @scarfac3 @toroufriteh @renyoungrecs @yumekowhore

#fanfic #nct scenarios #kpop angst #fluff #kpop smut #fluff kpop #nctzen #nct fanfic #light angst #nct smut #haechan lee #haechan #nct haechan #lee haechan #haechan smut #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct dream #lee donghyuck #lee donghyuk x reader #nct donghyuck #donghyuck smut #nct dream donghyuck #donghyuck x reader #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #haechan scenarios #haechan icons #mark lee #mark

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

so happy for you about the qpr!! that’s just wonderful news! wishing u all the best <3

Thankyou! I truly appreciate your sweet words. 

I want to use this as an opportunity to talk about how this non-traditional relationship came to be - mostly because I love talking about him, but also because I feel queerplatonic relationships need to be talked about more! 

So, what is a queerplatonic relationship? It isn’t really one specific type of relationship with a strictly defined set of rules or boundaries. It is an umbrella term for “non-romantic significant-other relationships”… so, emotionally intimate relationships that fall neither into the category of a “typical romantic relationship” nor into the category of a “typical platonic friendship”. This is not so much about behavior but about the feelings of the people involved. The way one queerplatonic relationship looks like  (activities, language, touch, future planning etc.) can be completely different from the next, it’s all about what works for you! 

The term “queerplatonic relationship” (or qpr) originated in the aromantic community, but you don’t need to be aromantic to be in one. 

I am not aromantic, Alex (name changed for privacy) is. When we met, I didn’t know that yet. We met online. Not on a dating app, we just found each other over shared interests, so romance wasn’t on my mind. We became online friends and found out we actually live close to each other. As time went on, I felt like there was a lot of chemistry and some mutual attempts of awkward flirting, so I decided to ask him on a date. And he said yes! 

We grew closer, my feelings for him grew and quite honestly, in the deep corners of my heart it was already a fact that we would become a couple. We didn’t call each other boyfriend yet but it was only a matter of making it official. Really just a matter of asking… and so it hit me like a brick when I scrolled through social media and saw him coming out as aromantic. 

I’ll admit that I didn’t handle it well. I felt blindsided by him not telling me directly and carried this feeling into our conversation about it which led to it not going well. I should’ve given him time to explain and given us space to figure out together what this means for us. If I did, I would’ve learned that it was a new realization for him as well and that he himself was not sure yet what it meant - but I didn’t. I jumped to assumptions and felt bitter about them. 

After fruitless discussions turned into a fight, we made the hard decision to stop talking. We were both heartbroken about it but it just seemed like a situation with no solution. He didn’t want a traditional romantic relationship, I didn’t want a traditional friendship. We did briefly talk about a queerplatonic relationship but we both couldn’t imagine how that’d work. Would that essentially just be a traditional relationship/friendship by a different name? 

For two weeks, I cried into my ice cream. Kept checking his social media secretly even though we mutually agreed to unfollow each other before the split. Went back on dating apps and went out on a virtual date with the first poor guy who said yes and hated every second of it. Texted Alex about it in some shitty attempt to make him jealous. Cried some more. Until I found a list in my notes that I had made months earlier, with all the things I like about him. 

This list made me think I can’t lose him like this - I’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all. I sent him the list and was relieved to learn that he missed me just as much. After some (much more mature) discussion, we agreed to just be platonic friends. 

One of the first “normal ” conversations we had after our split - normal meaning a topic that wasn’t related to attraction or identity or relationship status - was just us talking about a tv show he used to watch as a kid. This has become a fond memory of a realization that is hard to put in words: I’ve always been someone who wants clear definitions and labels. But there’s beauty in things being undefined as well. In that moment, we weren’t a specific label. We were just us. And us, our unique dynamic, is what I fell in love with - regardless of how we name it. 

So, we named it friends and that worked great. But one thing kept bothering me: With a friend, even a best friend, it’d be silently assumed that you may pursue other people romantically. You can have a best friend and a boyfriend, you’re not taken by your best friend. This wasn’t a matter of jealousy - Alex wasn’t interested in pursuing other people romantically anyway and I don’t mind that he has other close friends. This was about me, not him. I didn’t want this to be a situation where I’m assumed to potentially pursue others. I want to be taken because that’s how I feel. I’m not open to dating someone else, Alex is my significant other even when it’s not a traditional romantic relationship. 

I reached out to other aromantic people online and talked to them about these feelings. They encouraged me to talk to him about this and suggest an individually defined relationship to him - one that isn’t based in romance but has the level of commitment I feel. Communication is key, they said, you two can set your own rules. 

And that’s exactly what we did! I wrote him a letter and put these feelings to paper, and asked him if he wants to have an individually defined relationship with me, be my friend I’m in love with and am committed to, and he said yes! 

(We don’t usually use the term queerplatonic in our everyday conversations, I just use it as a practical umbrella term here - we like to keep it a undefined unique relationship status) 

#lgbt+ #lgbt

[fruitsoxs]

Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include;;

warnings;; i don't define a relationship, but it kinda hints at all three of you being together, lots of fluff, nothing nsfw (but I'm thinking about doing some nsfw headcanons for this in the future if anyone is interested)

How it happens/Meeting Vash

You’re basically desperate when your plans for moving in with your ex best friend fall through, leaving you basically homeless right before the semester is about to start

Looking online, in the newspaper even, you’re searching for any place that doesn’t look scummy, creepy, or charges you up the ass

Knowing full well that living without roommates in this economy is impossible, you’re hoping to find some nice people-

And boy do you luck out

Posted on some stupid roommate finder website is an add for a three bedroom apartment that’s in a sort of sketchy part of town, but offers protection for anyone willing to brave it. The guy that posted it seems nice, the ad is kinda funny, and the rent is cheap

You decide to try it out

When you first meet Vash, it’s in a little coffee shop near the uni you’re attending. It’s a safe spot to meet with a stranger, and he was cool with whatever you suggested. Green flag.

He’s pretty nice, funny, and insanely cute. He tells you that the other roommate, a man he calls “Nicholas” is at work, but from the way Vash talks about him you assume he’s a chill dude too

You can’t help but feel a bit intimidated by how attractive Vash is. He’s blonde, with a cute little mole, and his eyes are like…woah

Plus he’s got a cute little piercing !!!

No guy this good looking should be this nice

You decide pretty quickly this feels like a good match, and bam the deed is done

You move in next week, get your stuff situated and suddenly you have two new roommates

Meeting Wolfwood

It’s almost disappointing how little you see of the other roommate in the first week. Vash explains that he’s been taking on extra shifts at work but you still kinda feel like maybe the man is avoiding you?

All you know of the man is that he smokes, drinks a little, and has weird taste in movies

You see random objects strewn across the house that belong to him and you start trying to figure out his personality in your head

You decide that he’s probably some skinny stoner, and you’re pretty confident in that hypothesis until you actually see him

You bump into him in the morning right before you head off to start your first day of class

You literally bump into him-

As he’s leaving the bathroom, you’re in the hallways and a collision occurs. To make matters worse he’s shirtless

And he’s hot

He’s wearing sweatpants, his toned torso out in the open, and his hair is a bit of a mess. You can tell it’s sort of a short wolf-cut though- and it’s definitely working on him 

He kinda smirks down at you and says it’s nice to finally “run” into you

And fuck- how are you supposed to survive having TWO hot roomates

General Chaos

You find out pretty quickly that these two are not the most normal people

And you freaking love it

Once Wolfwood’s insane work schedule chills out, you finally get chance to see the duo in action

They kind act like an old married couple. It’s a bit scary at first, and you fear you might be third wheeling but you soon mix into their dynamic quite nicely

Once wolfwood starts calling you some funky nickname you know you’ve wormed your way into their hearts

Your schedules all clash a  bit, but you all find time to see each other throughout the day. Wolfwood has a morning class like you, and so you end up eating breakfast together most days. You start taking turns making food for each other

No matter what you both at least drink an entire pot of coffee together, and complain about life

Vash and you meet up in the afternoon, since your afternoon classes are close to each other. He’s the one who texts you the first time to ask if you want to meet up- and your heart does a little flip

It has become a habit. Whenever you two aren’t busy with other things, you’ll sit outside on a grassy area and talk for a second

All three of you hang out at night when Wolfwood isn’t working insane night shifts

Saturdays are movie nights. You HAVE to attend movie nights

It gets crazy. Especially when Wolfwood graciously shares his stuff.

The first time they see you cry- you’re pretty sure they might explode

You’re stressed from school, whatever job you might have, and probably a few family problems too. Vash walks in to your room to ask you what you want for dinner, sees the tears and whips out his phone to tell Wolfwood

He then immediately rolls you up in a blanket and makes you cuddle him on the couch to destress.

He��s insanely patient with you, rubbing your back and letting you vent

Wolfwood kicks open the door with your favorite comfort food moments later, and the three of you sit and watch a stupid movie

Wolfwood keeps his arm around you, and lets you rest your head on his chest

Vash’s hand is in yours

They’re pretty respectful of your privacy at first- but they’re both like the clingiest friends ever

Vash doesn’t mean to- and will apologize if he oversteps boundaries 

Wolfwood on the other hand just doesn’t care. He’ll waltz into your room and go “Hey- stop screaming- I need you to make sure I got this math correct.”

Crazy competitive game nights, that sometimes end in you pulling Wolfwood off of Vash as Vash screams for his life to be spared (he like staking stars from Wolfwood in mario party) (It ends in bloodshed every time) (He should really stop)

Grocery shopping is just Wolfwood acting like a dad while you and Vash are off shoveling sweets into the cart (He secretly puts his favorite treats in the cart too though)

You and Vash stage an intervention for Wolfwood when he gets a little bit too into buying random jewelry covered in crosses (“we know you have religious trauma- and yes you look good in them- but come on-”). He walks into the apartment, sees the sign, and then walks out

Vash invites his brother over once and you’re pretty sure you’re about to be cut. (“No Vash- Knives is nice…he’s just scary.” “He just has a resting “I want to murder” you face!”)

Feelings bloom?

They really warm up to you. One day it becomes clear that you’re just…part of them now. Like they can’t imagine you ever leaving their side

It’s the same for you. You walk out one day, and grab your mug of coffee from Wolfwood and…you just kinda spot and think that you really like these guys. Things feel right

I think overtime things just slowly get intimate- 

like you start holding Vash’s hand just casually throughout the day

And sometimes Wolfwood will come rest his head on your shoulder from behind, and you’ll reach up and run your hand through his hair

Casual soft touches just become a thing you know?

Vash lets his hand rise under your shirt a bit when you’re sitting with him on the couch

And eventually…maybe they become less casual?

Wolfwood puts his hand on your waist as he passes by behind you

The sexual tension is like palpable 

I don’t really know who finally kisses who- or how things go from wholesome to spicy- but it gets there eventually

And soon you three are more than just roommates, more than friends, and even if you don’t know what it is- it’s kinda perfect

You renew the lease for the next year, and you’re pretty damn happy you were homeless for that little bit now

#wolfwood x reader #nicholas d wolfwood x reader #vash x reader #vash the stampede x reader #trigun x reader #wolfwood headcanons #vash headcanons

[nyxsealia]

When I was 17 and trying to figure out what the heck my sexuality was, the main, if not only, piece of advice I found online, even when I directly asked people, was to go out and experiment sexually with various people and see what gender I enjoyed sex with most. And years later, that still seems to be the advice most of us give when someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with doing that, and if that's what helped you, great. But I do think there's issues with this being the most prevalent advice.

There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to do this, various personal or religious reasons, comfort levels, a lack of interest in sex, not experiencing much or any sexual attraction, or simply being too young for this to be applicable.

I found the advice unhelpful for many of the reasons I just mentioned, and it left me feeling lost on how I was supposed to find out what my orientation was. It also left me with thoughts like how can I be a part of queer culture if I don't want to experiment sexually or be sexually active? Even looking at articles with advice on dating as a queer woman I saw bullet points like "It's okay to have sex on the first date!" there was so much emphasis on how it's okay to have very active sex lives that it left me feeling like if I didn't want that, I'd never be able to have relationships because there'd be an expectation of sex right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, sex positivity is important and we shouldn't shame people for their sex lives. But I feel like we don't don't talk about not being into that kind of thing enough.

I also didn't know at the time that I was asexual, and while I'm sex neutral and open to the idea of sex with a trusted partner, I don't have any desire to seek out sexual relationships. Not experiencing sexual attraction made figuring out my attraction a thousand times harder. I still don't know if I'm bi/pan or lesbian. I do refer to myself as gay or lesbian in some instances, but sometimes I say queer or just shrug and say "I like girls" or "I'm not straight" and some days I'm okay with the vagueness of that, but other days I feel the stress and pressure of having to pick an identity in order to have a community to belong to and be accepted. That stress and pressure doesn't get better when all the advice I can find on the subject just tells me to have sex and that'll clear everything up.

We put a lot of focus on finding out exactly "what" you are. And I don't think sex is the best way to do that. Lots of people have varying interest in sexual or physical intimacy, not just queers. My cishet friend told me she got a boyfriend but she wasn't entirely sure if what she was feeling was romantic, and that the idea of kissing made her uncomfortable. She doesn't identify as ace or aro, and she shouldn't have to. People can have a lack of interest in these things without a lack of attraction.

Another issue with this advice is that sexual and romantic attraction doesn't always line up for everyone. You may enjoy sex with all genders, but find you only have a desire to date one. So sexual experimenting wouldn't necessarily answer the question for you. Orientation is really complicated. I did mostly consider myself lesbian, but I occasionally find men aesthetically attractive, and I'm honestly starting to wonder if I'm actually bi but still feel uncomfortable using the term.

All this needlessly long and ramble-y text to say, this advice is simply useless to a lot of people. And while I can't speak personally for this part, I'd bet at least some people who enjoy sexual experimentation still weren't sure of their orientation at the end of it. This advice shouldn't be presented as the one size fits all solution.

If you're uncomfortable or uninterested in figuring out your identity this way, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with not knowing. You don't have to know right now, or ever if you'd prefer that. It's okay to use vague terms. It's also okay to use whatever label feels closest even if it's not perfect. And remember, you're not locked into anything. You can always change labels.

There is no right way to determine your orientation. Everyone discovers themself in different ways and at different ages. It's not a race or a checklist. The most important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself and whatever you do to figure yourself out, be safe.

#I'm so sorry this is so long #I just watched roughly five hours of video essays blame that #queer #lgbt #lesbian #lgbtq #wlw #asexual #nonbinary #agender #gay #bisexual #pansexual #queer community #lgbtq community #queer positivity #lgbt positivity #transgender #genderfluid #queer dating advice #lgbt dating #aromantic #aroace

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

#ofc there were also signs before 2016 'wtf even is your sexuality' #but at that point there was still a veil over everything ykwim? #myrambles #also sorry im such a phillie i like barely mention dans authenticity journey BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE #IVE TALKED ABT IT A LOT BEFORE SO IDK WHAT MORE I COULD SAY #softlaunch

[olderthannetfic]

The aroace anon makes me sad and shows how fucked up the whole discourse around ace and aro spectrum identities has become. The whole concept of asexuality was originally created for people like anon: a lack of sexual desire/attraction and affirming that this is a thing that can exist without being a trauma symptom and does not mean you can’t live a full, happy life. I’m not saying it was wrong to point out that some ace people have and enjoy sex; that’s obviously true. But people have apparently hammered it in so hard that some circles think that it’s strange for ace people NOT to want sex, and now the kind of people *the term was made for* are made to feel ashamed. And what’s especially telling and disturbing to me is the people in the replies saying they must be sex-repulsed. Anon is not saying anything to indicate repulsion; they’re just not interested in sex. People seem to have forgotten what “repulsion” actually means, but saying that someone who just doesn’t experience sexual attraction is “sex repulsed” is like saying that someone who is only sexually attracted to one gender is “repulsed” by other ones. Are straight women “women-repulsed?” And what’s most fucked up about this is genuine sexual *repulsion* is usually a sign of trauma and is the thing that is supposed to be dealt with in therapy THAT THE ORIGINAL ASEXUAL ACTIVISTS WERE SAYING THEY DID NOT HAVE. We have come full circle, where the concept is now used to advocate the opposite thing it was created for. What used to be about how someone like anon is normal and what they feel is fine and not because of trauma is now used to say “no there’s still something wrong with you if you don’t want sex, and that’s definitely due to trauma.” What the fuck people… but while I think a lot of it is just broader misconceptions about ace people including ace people themselves who internalize this, I do think part of the issue is there are clearly a lot of people online who identify as ace who are likely not actually, who clearly have pretty typical allosexual levels of attraction/desire but aren’t aware of that, because they’re overthinking stuff or they *think* about that attraction a little differently from others (as an autistic person myself I feel like this is especially common for those of us on the spectrum) or just are inexperienced. And nothing wrong with taking time to figure shit out, but it’s a problem when that perspective shuts out people like anon from the movement built for them. Like even just talking about “gatekeeping” is weird, because people like anon have been usually the ones deep inside the gates! And now people on the outside are pulling them out as they elbow their way in

--

Anon sounds like such a classic version of aroace. Not that other people can't also have that identity, but of all the people to try to gatekeep out of it... Sheesh!

[utilitycaster]

💙💜

Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

We've talked about this in DMs anyway but OTOHAN. She's physically attractive I suppose, although that's 100% from official art and absolutely not from initial description (perhaps that's just me, but Matt described her as having eyes like a bird of prey, and somehow the image of her in my head has always been. does anyone remember the weird turkey pictures of Ole Golly in Harriet the Spy (the book). Is this too weird a pull? Did I make it up because I can't seem to find an online image? Unclear.) But point being before the official art came out I was not imagining her as attractive, even. And then there's personality. Like, yeah, you can say someone is hot based on just a physical image without knowing them; this is how celebrity works. But when you've only one got one singular physical image and it doesn't really match your mind's eye which isn't terribly attractive, anyway and then there's no personality but...I can't even say zealotry because we literally don't know anything about her motivations other than raw murder. I can't even enjoy the inherent eroticism of the sword. Anyway. If you want hot middle age women villains why not og Delilah before she became a loser, or Raishan's human form, or Ripley, or Avantika, or Vess deRogna, or Liliana. If you just want hot middle age women with a propensity for violence why not Deanna with Jerry the Goat. If you are specifically interested in the "milf" archetype (Otohan is not a mother, so this is rather telling) then might I suggest Veth, who is not middle-aged yet but she is a mother and she is super good at violence. All of these women have hopes and dreams and personalities and aren't a blank dull slate to project upon, as I personally am entirely unattracted to the latter. Anyway hopefully this also fulfills one obligation to either @playerkingsley or @whirlingbadger who asked about "mischaracterized"; Otohan is a polarizing figure with many who agree with the above as well but she is also wildly mischaracterized as hot and interesting when she is at best depicted as attractive and deathly (and deadly) boring. She bored everyone to death; the sword just got in front of her.

Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Eshteross. I fear we moved on too soon when he died. Everyone in Bells Hells wanted a slice of this hot old orc man when he was doing his sword practice, and also he was community-minded and loyal and devoted. More generally you know that post that's like "hobbits have it all figured out, farmers market high as shit, why are people horny for elves"? This is true but also might I suggests orcs. Elves are overrated. Why are people's fantasy lithe hairlessness. This is a very narrow beauty ideal and I reject it. We, as a fandom, and dare I say, a society, need to be hornier for orcs.

I'm going to go watch candela and the inbox remains closed and will for much of the rest of the day but there are two more asks that have the exact same two hearts and I will be providing two more separate answers as well as another mischaracterization answer, and possibly making an eye appointment although I'm inclined to think the hearts just look super alike on my computer.

#cr tag #unpopular opinions ask meme

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

#ok to reblog #ask #objectum #os/or #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH #i didnt proof read this either so plz ignore any mistakes ToT #just know everyones experience is different #also sorry if u have like. no background on this stuff i kinda just presumed u knew the basic idea </3 #also also i did not know what u meant by roleplay sorry!!!

[anemoflower]

Ship: Sophie x Elias Word Count: ~ 1.6k Warnings: Again a few nerd references. Not fully proofread (again) and it's... not too detailled. I think I could do better but I'm tired xD. It's a bit angst-y in the end? But those who read the "first part" to this know there's a happy end :> A/N: Just wanted to write some kind of Prequel to this one [click] in Elias POV :3 It's also some kind of practise to write him? Idk (There are a few re-occuring scenes from that one. I don't think you have to read this beforehand but it's good for a little more insight) Divider by @/cafekitsune

Elias first saw her when she knocked over a cup of cocoa over the desk he was sitting on at the Café.

“I-I'm so sorry!” She apologized around a hundred times while wiping the spilled beverage off his desk with a napkin.

Elias just smiled at her and said: “It's alright, don't worry about it.”

“Sophie, stop flirting, we're already late!” A girl with black hair grabbed the girl on the arm and dragged her with her.

“I wasn't-” the girl named Sophie started to protest, her voice went very high and Elias could have sworn her cheeks blushed.

Sophie. That's quite the pretty name.

He wouldn’t have thought to see her again in the comic book store he was working at. He recognized her by the glasses and the curly dark blonde hair, which barely reached over her shoulders.

She looked at the Marvel comics section and talked to her friend, full of excitement. Her smile was the prettiest he ever saw. But what he really admired were her eyes. They glowed. They glowed with so much passion and interest for the things around her.

When Elias’ shift was over and he went down to the main floor, she was still there with her friends. She was looking up the huge glass cabinet with famous statues and figures from anime and seemed to debate with her friend, the one who has been with her at the café, next to her. 

“But it’s too expensive!” Sophie exclaimed.

“You never buy something for yourself”, her friend said. “I think you can indulge yourself a bit.”

They were clearly looking at the statue of Loid Forger from Spy x Family, showing him in a graceful but powerful pose. It was part of a collection and you could buy daughter Anya and wife Yor also to put the family together. A huge fan (with too much money) would have bought them all. Elias was one of these people, not because he had too much money, but because of his inability to handle his finances very well. And there was too much cool merch to buy. The amount of money he already spent on figures of his favorite characters from One Piece… not to mention the lightsaber replica which hung on the wall in his apartment.

Sophie fiddled with the keychain, a small plushie of a chubby cat, on the strap of her pokémon themed bag, her cheeks turned a little rosy as she was fighting with herself if she should buy the statue or not.

Should he go to them? His shift was over, so it wasn’t his responsibility anymore. And it would have been weird if he just started a conversation, as he had never seen a single episode of that anime.

He decided against it, turned around and as he was leaving the store, he could still hear her voice out of the loud chatter in the store.

“I don't have room for that anyway,” she said.

“You can still think about it”, her friend said, “We can come back when the book I pre-ordered arrives.”

Elias smiled by the thought of seeing her again.

A few days later Elias was scrolling through an online shop for various suits, looking for something like that Loid guy was wearing in the anime series.

“Will you attend a wedding or something?” His co-worker Joshua - Josh for short - was looking over Elias' shoulder. 

“Do you think men in suits are attractive?” Elias asked him.

Josh looked at him with raised eyebrows and blinked several times. “Dude, I feel very flattered but-”

Elias groaned. “Hell, Josh, you know what I mean!”

Josh shrugged. “Uh, yeah, I guess?” Then he frowned, his face got closer to Elias' and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “So who is it?”

“Who... is what?”

“The girl you got a crush on?”

Elias felt how heat rushed through his face. “It's- it's not a crush-”

“Elias, my bro, my guy, my dude”, Josh patted him on the shoulder, “Weren’t you the one who always told me ‘just be yourself! Don’t change for anyone.’” He changed his voice to a higher tone to impersonate his co-worker.

Elias just rolled his eyes. "I don't sound like that."

“So, why are you looking at stuff you would never wear?”

“I know what you mean but-” Elias' face turned hot. “For some reason it is not that simple-” He fell silent when he heard steps coming closer up the stairs to the first floor of the graphic novel and comic section. It was her. Sophie.

Today her dark blonde hair was tied into low pigtails. She wore a cyan colored coat with a brown belt around the waist, a small ribbon kept it together. It looked good in combination with her brown boots. Cute even.

But something was different. Her friends weren’t with her this time. Her fingers nervously fiddled with her keychain again, her eyes darting around. She looked uneasy like an anxious deer on a wide field, far away from their forest. Alone she seemed so lost and… almost fragile. 

She searched the shelves with the letter “E” but seemed not to find what she was looking for.

Josh watched how his friend kept staring at her. “Ohh.” He grinned at Elias, who opened his mouth to explain but got cut off by his friend.

“I will go check the newly arrived mangas in stock. Maybe you can help her?” Josh winked at him and left Elias alone at the checkout. "What? Wait you can't-" He could only watch his colleague disappearing behind the next door and then glanced back to the girl, still looking around the comic books.

Normally he wouldn’t have any problems talking to people, he loved that. Get to know someone and their likes and personality. But for some reason this girl made his heart beat faster than before.

Nonetheless, she was a customer. And it was his job to assist her to find what she was looking for. He ruffled through his dark hair, tidied his gray shirt, straightened himself and walked over to her with the kindest smile he could bring up. “Do you need any help?”

The green deer eyes looked at him directly now and he felt a tingle in his belly. She blinked at him, then looked away, adjusting the glasses on her nose.

Elias couldn’t help but smile at her, maybe it would help her feel more at ease again. Her hands stopped fiddling with the keychain and her gaze found his again.

“The comic book ‘Extraordinary’ by V. E. Schwab?”

He blinked as soon as he realized that she started talking to him. Her voice was soft and reserved so he didn’t notice it at first. He remembered seeing the title she just mentioned somewhere yesterday. “Ah, that's quite new, we didn't get to fill them in the shelves yet. Wait a sec.”

When Elias went to check the stock he found Josh again, who was looking at him with a teasing smile. “How's it going?” he asked curiously.

Elias just shoved him to the side to get to the comic book he was looking for. “I’m gonna pay you back for this” he said in a dangerously low tone.

“Oh come on! You should thank me, you started talking to her now!” He crossed his arms while Elias glared at him annoyed, ”Will you invite me to your wedding?”

Elias knocked against a pile of Mangas while walking back to the door and the books fell over in Josh’s direction. Josh pushed his whole body against the pile to prevent it from falling to the floor and squeaked out a high-pitched: “Elias! Help!”

“Sorry, I have to assist our customer” Elias hummed, waved at his co-worker innocently and walked outside, leaving Josh alone.

He found Sophie again at the shelves in the Marvel comic section. Curiously she pulled a few books out, admiring the covers with a little smile on her face.

Elias had to stop himself from staring and walked over to her. “You're lucky, I saved that one from getting buried beneath tons of newly arrived One Piece Mangas.” His heart skipped a beat when she started to chuckle.

They started getting into a conversation about Marvel comics and Elias felt like she was finally opening up a little. She smiled and there was this glow in her eyes again. That beautiful glow that made her shine...

But suddenly an invisible force made her face change again to that insecure shyness. Elias wondered if it was something he said. She thanked him for his help and walked down the aisle to look around more.

He waited for her at the checkout, Josh still hadn't returned from the storage room. Hopefully he wasn't buried by the Mangas. Elias felt bad for him and thought about going to the storage room to check on his friend, but then Sophie approached the counter to pay for the comic book. Her eyes were focused on anything, the pokémon TCG packs displayed on the counter, her hands in her purse, anything but him.

While she was distracted putting the comic book into her backpack, Elias decided to do something he had never done before.

He scribbled a small note on the receipt. Something nice. Something that maybe could put a smile on her face again. “Keep that glow in your eyes, it suits you :)”

Whatever it was that made her feel uncomfortable, he didn’t want that to be the last thing she would remember when leaving the store.

“Oh and don't forget to keep a close eye on the receipt?” He said. “Sometimes the computer writes down strange stuff on it. Really weird.”

But she didn't pay attention, the receipt disappeared in the pocket of her coat and she went down the stairs again. Elias leaned over the counter to check if she maybe would glance at the receipt, but she didn't. A sigh left his lips and he hoped that she wouldn't just throw his message in the trash.

Josh returned to the checkout, his light blonde hair was tousled and there were a few stains of dust on his clothes.

“30 volumes of Monkey D. Luffy just kicked me in the guts. You better help me clean the mess right now-” He blinked at him confused as Elias wasn't answering. “Bro, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'll help you clean up.” He said with a apologetic smile, which didn't reach his eyes.

- -

Taglist: @jils-things @ceruelaen @huggsbury @satosara @lovinglin If you want to be added or removed please let me know

#oc f/o #oc x self insert #selfshipping community #self ship #;my writing #;oc: elias #;s/i: sophie #;sophelias #I love Josh already hehehe #(yeah he did the I.tto phrase hehehe) #I'm still not sure if I'll keep the name but yeh #I'm also too lazy to come up with a title oof #btw writing in you f/o's POV and describing how he sees you/your si is very healing #OKAY so I will post this now before I hate it again let's goo

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Help I'm crisising

I'm aroace and i have this friend who I've known for a couple years but only gotten close two in the last few months, and I really like her. I've had a weird alterous attraction crush on her for literal years and recently now that we've gotten closer I'm wondering if we could someday be in some sort of qpr thing. I know she's some sort of queer, and she knows that I am, though not specifically aroace, and I know she's not in any relationships.

The problem is:

I'm really confused about what I feel, cause I've never felt anything close to this for anyone, ever, and I'm also really aware that she's one of the first friends and definitely the closest that I've had since a major depressive episode I had that lasted 1-2 years and so I'm worried that maybe I'm kinda latching on to her to feel normal and not lonely anymore. Basically I'm just constantly second-guessing my feelings, but I also have pretty solid evidence that I shouldn't trust myself with them.

I don't know what she knows about being aroace, and I don't know if she'd be interested in a QPR

I don't know if she's interested in me. She definitely likes as a friend, but I'm horrible at telling what feelings people have towards me beyond than friendly, angry, or indifferent

And if ever she made a move on me, I'd be into it, but I don't know how to explain "actually I'm aroace and so like half of the things you'd expect out of an allo dating relationship are off the table, and also I will never be able to love you in the way most would people expect from me" Also, at what point do you even bring that up? Before or after doing anything? The inciting incident of all this was today when she was driving me home from her place and while we were leaving her brother was bugging me to tell him about her love life and asking questions like "Does she have a bf/gf? Is she dating (other friend of hers)?" and "Are you two dating? Are you going to kiss in the car?" and she told him to stop and not make me uncomfortable, but in my head I was just thinking "not as uncomfortable as you think." And then I was thinking about maybe kissing her the whole car ride, and I was kinda hoping maybe she would. Sorry for the massive wall of text I'm overthinking everything and driving myself mad. I don't have anyone who knows I'm queer besides her so I have nobody to talk to about this.

First of all Anon, remember that it's OK to be confused, and it's OK to not be quite sure what you want. You're navigating these feelings for the first time, and they're generally big feelings which can also make them harder to decipher, especially in the moment.

Sometimes imagining different scenarios can help and sometimes certain scenarios will appeal to you a lot more (remember QPRs are heavily tailored, and can include and not include whatever the people in them want). Sometimes journaling can help with sorting out what you're feeling too, and if you're not sure where to start, there's a lot of good tips for effective journaling online.

It is OK to not have everything figured out right away. Sometimes things also play out over time, you can talk and try things out and see where things go. Honestly my advice would probably be to just start by telling her you're aroace and, if this is something you want to pursue, talking about QPRs, or how aroaces sometimes do relationships a bit differently where the relationship can be tailored to each other/pick and choose what that relationship involves or not. And maybe that would be something that appeals to her, maybe it won't, and you can take note of how you're feeling too. (Of course if you decide you prefer the relatioship you have with her now and don't want to change anything, that's an option too.)

Go easy on yourself, you're figuring all this out as you go. Remember there's two ways this can go, either things work out how you want them to, which would be great, or they won't and you'll still learn a lot in the process and be a lot more ready and prepared the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

All the best, and good luck!

[the1975attheirverybest]

You're not allowed to retire miss

Jokes on you I have a bigger gun. *insert Matty Biceps here* (idk where the photo that I had of them went I can’t find it anywhere 😭)

Nah, fr though. I love it here and I love writing fanfiction and I love you guys and the slutty and extremely specific conversations about the levels of attractiveness of various of his body parts. But THE VIBES have just been fuckin off lately.

And I’m not just talking about TS. Even yesterday? Shit over books???? Or Gabbriette?? It feels like if I say “I love cucumbers” someone will come in here like “oh what about tomatoes halla? His blog is so anti tomato! What about the rest of the vegetable species huh? Don’t touch give a fuck you selfish cunt!”

and listen, i can be petty. I really can. I’m Arab. And an older sister. Petty is my middle name. But I created this blog to be a safe, happy, nerdy, and hoeish place for whores who like pretentious stuff (the 1975). Putting out negative things into the world doesn’t feel good. And it’s not what I wanna spend my time online doing.

But I also don’t wanna constantly restrain myself or not share certain opinions or whatever so as not to upset people. That’s not who I am. That’s literally never been who I am and never will be. I’m not interested in pretending to be someone I’m not just to please people. So like idk. I’m still ✨finkin this frough✨ as they say. Nothings final. But I’ve been online my whole life and I’ve never felt myself participate in negativity until now. With the end of tour slowly haunting us…..I figured if there ever is a time…ya know? We’ll see lol

[shirotaniart]

My experience with romantic attraction as an allosexual aromantic:

I've seen so many people connect online over being aroace and that is so cool. But I haven’t seen many posts about aromanticism while being allosexual.

So I tought I would like to talk about how I experience my sexuality and identity.

For me the aromanticism doesn’t come along with romance repulsion in general. I enjoy romance in fiction as a plot device or source of conflict because it can help the characters evolve but also be their struggle. Romance is cool for me as long as I don't have to experience it myself.

The biggest clues of my aromanticism have proven to be my lack of interest in finding a relationship, my fear and disinterest in making a commitment and the most important one, to me that is, - my fear of receiving romantic affection and the inability to feel it. I get annoyed with people showing me romantic affection, I rationalize that being in love is just chemicals in your body telling you to have sex. And romance is just the tool to get there on a social level.

As a bisexual however I get attracted to people, I like kissing and sex. I just don’t see it as the reason to be with someone and to share my life with them. That's what friends are for in my opinion.

I have had a relationship before I realized that I don't actually want one. I felt cornered, overwhelmed and I couldn’t reciprocate what they were giving me on an emotional level. All the feelings I misinterpreted before we entered the relationship turned to dust once our flirting became something serious. What I felt as we were chasing each other was excitement and the physical attraction. I mistook it for a crush because everyone around you expects you to find love when you grow up. So I thought it was that. Even recently I still thought I had a crush, when it was just desire and the excitement of eventually getting laid lmao The funniest part is that I only ever "crushed" on people who are romantically unattainable - much much older married men, fictional characters and such. Never ever was there a chance I could get with anyone and that felt so safe to me. It was just a fantasy and I didn’t have to deal with actual commitment or affection.

That doesn’t mean that I cannot love, I do love so many people so so dearly. I love my friends, I love my family. I just don’t feel romantic affection. It was especially hard to figure out because as an aroace you aren’t interested in neither sex nor romance. But being able to feel sexual attraction really confused me and made me feel like I was just not lucky with relationships. It's funny that once you realize you might be on the aspectrum that you become able to separate romantic and sexual and sensual attraction.

There are probably many people who think of you as a sex-crazed cold-hearted monster when you can feel one kind of attraction but not the other. But my sexual desire ain't more than any other allosexual's. And I don't choose to not fall in love with people and not wanting to spend my life with someone entirely. It's just how I happen to feel. And I am being honest about that. I would never make someone think that I have romantic intentions with them on purpose. I wouldn’t cheat on anyone even if I happen to end up in a relationship. I still believe that trust and being faithful is important if that is what you agreed on.

It's incredible how many think they are entitled to your romantic availability even when they don't even know you. But I know that I don't owe anyone.

There are some smaller clues that I have overlooked for so long:

- I flirt for fun only (and sex)

- According to others I "send the wrong signals"

- I get scared or repulsed by people having a crush on me

- My goals don't include a family nor a partner

- I cannot react appropriately to and appreciate anyone that expresses romantic affection towards me

There is so so so much more but I wanted to get a little out there.

Hi I am Shiro, I am an aromantic bisexual. And I am coming to terms with that, feeling less and less like an alien or broken.

#aromanticism #aromantic #ramblings #alloaro

[arialerendeair]

Aromanticism - And Me!

Reblogging a lovely post about aromanticism and finding places/spaces for it online and elsewhere made me wanna write a bit about how I got smacked in the face with my own aromanticism a few weeks ago, so here it is!

Queer stuff, yo!

I’ve known I was asexual (in some form, on the sex positive side) for the last 7 or so years. I’ve had time to come to terms with what that means and how it impacts me. I always assumed I wasn’t aromantic simply because I felt what HAD to be romantic attraction to people, and was in relationships with them.

Right up until two months ago.

Two months ago - I hooked up with a guy I’d known for 14 or so years. Was great, good times had by all. He’s poly and was interested in dating me, and talked to me about it.

I have never, in my life, had a louder mental record screech. This guy, who I have no doubt that, by all definitions I could fall in love with - wanted to date me, and suddenly, that was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t even imagine it, couldn’t picture it beyond the stuff you read in romance novels. I didn’t want it. I was terrified of it, of the expectations, of all the pieces of my current life I’d have to give up to have those things with him. (And the screaming voice in the back of my head that said it wasn’t worth it - it never would be.)

Cue a conversation with a friend, some revelations, an insanely busy two months, another full queer revelation and a much deeper understanding of why all my past relationships failed. (In some ways, anyways.)

I’ve been reading romance novels since I was 12. (I’m 35 now.) I’ve been writing them since the same age. At some point, I just… followed the story beats in my life because that’s what I’m supposed to want, right? Well. Turns out people aren’t story beats. Turns out that I wanted a different story for myself.

To the utter shock and surprise of everyone -

I want to write. I want to dedicate my life, my heart, my soul, to writing. Even if it’s fanfiction or original fiction, it doesn’t matter. Some people know what they are put into this world for and I’ve known for years now that that thing for me is writing. Telling stories. Making people laugh and smile with my writing.

I also want to be the crafting aunt who teaches nieces and nephews how to craft anything and everything. I want to be a support for friends who need it, and a cheerleader for those that want it. I want to die, having a shelf in a library that rivals some of the most productive authors out there. I want to inspire other people to write, to find joy in telling stories, no matter their skill level. I want to LIVE my writing in a way I don’t think I have ever been willing to accept or do in my entire life

Figuring out I was aromantic was a gift because holy shit I suddenly fucking GOT IT. It explained a part of me that I’d never let out into the sun before and now that it’s there, it’s growing like a weed. It doesn’t mean you’re lacking anything, it just means the world isn’t tailored for you.

The world isn’t tailored for me, I sure as shit am not tailored for the world, I am queer as all get out, and I will continue writing queer romance until the day I die.

But for myself? Good friends, family I can stand being around, and maybe a DOG… are about all I want in terms of relations in my life. And I think for the first time in my life, I’m realizing that I am 100% okay with that and not lacking anything as a result.

So yeah.  Hi, my name is Aria, and I am aromantic AF.

#Aria Posts #Aromantic #Asexuality #Hey it's me! #Queer Stuff

[rikeijo]

Hello! I hope I am not bothering but I just wanted to get someone off my chest. I was wondering what the Kubo meant when she said that rinks were similar to what members of the same club wears. It just kinda confused me when she says that considering how romantically the ring exchange scene is (seriously who gives each other rings in front of a church platonically!?)

No need to worry, I like discussing things too deeply😂 so you are not bothering at all! But another fujo rant comes in 3... 2... 1...

So yeah, the those rings are for clubmates interview... Imo, to understand why she said that, or why it was written (because she didn't say that publicly, so we can never know for sure), we need to talk about the difference between how western fandom approaches "representation" and how Jp fandom does.

Japanese fandom and representation

Things are progressing in Jp, too, but even to this day, a lot of people (that doesn't mean all) who call themselves "fujoshi" don't want "representation" and don't want to be allies. They simply consume BL and, let's face it, p0rn, for their own enjoyment. It's in Jp only, but some time ago, somebody posted on twitter their graduation project on this topic - an article and video - if anyone can understand some Jp and is interested in this topic, it's worth giving a watch. The title is "同性愛嫌悪的にBL・GLを愛でる私たち", "We, who homophobically love BL and GL" .

I've mentioned it before, but in case of YoI, there was, eg., a random article from a gay journalist, a figure skating fan, who wrote about how good that dinner scene in ep. 10 was. And it was really, really good - Jp is a country, where a lot of people still think that being gay is bad for society, that gay people are unproductive, so it's okay that they face discrimination. So that scene, where Phichit just congratulates Y&V on their marriage like it's the most natural thing in the world, is incredibly powerful. Yet in fujo spaces, that article was bashed, obviously - "Why did he write something like that? It doesn't have anything to do with those LGPTs. We just like playing with the characters, but they are not gay...".

BL is not LGBT?

Why you ask? Well, if you like fantasies about semes raping ukes etc. then you probably don't want to be told "hey, that's actually discrimination and homophobia, you really should stop that... Semes and ukes don't exist, most people switch...". That's why a lot of fujos insist that BL is something completely separate from LGBT issues. And that leads us to...

Another thing that I also ranted about in the past - that fujos hijack almost all depictions of same-sex attraction between men in mainstream media deeming them "fujoshi fanservice". So YoI is most often discussed as "fujo-pandering anime", and not as "anime with gay representation" the way it is in the western fandom... And it also had a lot of antis, because quite a lot of people dislike fujos. Some of the most popular lines you see in YoI reviews are: "it would be so much better without the weird fujo pandering...", "it was good, but that weird fujo pandering was unnecessary".

Went so far, so why no confirmation?

So finally giving the answer to the question... I believe, that there was very little incentive from the marketing point of view - society is homophobic, industry is homophobic, fandom is homophobic - to actually announce that Y&V are really gay and in love. Most fujos are only interested in Yuuri being uke and Victor being seme (so many fujos wished for IceAdo to fail and I hope that karma will come back to them...). So after the show ended, in my opinion, what is in Jp called koushiki (so people who run the IP and seriously it's not "Mappa"...) really wanted to get rid of the "fujo pandering" reputation (and fujos to a certain extent too, probably, because they've got so rabid that a bunch was even sued for online harassment) and started to backtrack on some things - avoiding rings, avoiding Y&V only arts, even avoiding Y&V only merch, which would sell like crazy. And yeah, Mitsurou and VAs sometimes pushing the narrative that "it's not that serious". They also started promoting Yurio instead. I think, from their perspective, it was the safe choice for the IP... Make it for "everyone", not only for fujos.

Where we are now...

Only it wasn't, in the end... The great koushiki vs. fujos war started (fujos started acting as "rings police", attacking staff members on twitter, doxxing Avex's employees, so on) and long story short, two years later YoI+IceAdo trailer did very bad at cinemas (in the first week out of ~170000 seats, only ~17000 were sold, that's ~90% empty seats - well, a little less maybe, because I'm not sure if special tickets are included in these statistics)... That's my opinion, but I think that was the most likely reason why IceAdo wasn't released in 2019. With such a big Jp distributor, they probably started to fear it will flop. Or the other way - the distributor decided that it would probably flop after seeing these numbers - allegedly, the first rumor that something is wrong was from that distributor's employee.

The very sad reality is that we are in 2023 now, and koushiki pretends YoI doesn't exist... If you think about it, it's really extraordinary... Even without the movie, they could release "VicYuu merch" and it would sell like crazy, but their stance has always been "Well yeah, but we prefer to not earn money, actually 😘 Want to play a game where Victor and Yurio bully Yuuri together, maybe?".

That was long again... I'm sorry, but it's just not possible to give an honest answer in a few sentences.

#yoi fandom and fujo culture #ask

[olderthannetfic]

This might be a somewhat controversial opinion/rant, but as a black queer woman (i really id myself as being more genderqueer, but since i'm afab there are just things about womanhood growing up that has just stuck with me as formative experiences.), I find it really difficult to build community with queer men, even in fandom. I've tried to have friendships with transmen, but so many just feel the need to ramp up misogyny to 1000 to validate themselves as men, and then with gay men, some will say the most out-of-pocket, misogynistic things but because they're not attracted to women, it's somehow okay, I guess. But lately, there's been this trend among queer men of saying and doing misogynistic things but justifying it by stating they're talking about white, cishet women. But the thing is, there's nothing in what they said that can be specifically applied to only white women. It's a target to all women (I refuse to play the oppression olympics of who has it worse). And now I see other queer women in fandom saying the same things to each other. I typically stay in anime/manga and danmei fanbases because that's where a lot of my interests are now, and I don't have to deal with USAian nonsense as much. But now that 7 Seas has unfortunately decided to translate more danmei into English that's changed. A queer male fan of a popular series has been unfollowed en masse by danmei fans for saying wildly misogynistic things about the author. Everyone all week has been scrambling to figure out where this came from. "He only ever said these things about cishet white women," but you guys... he was always talking about us the whole time. Now, I just don't know. Now I see why men aren't generally welcomed in or are common within romance-genre circles. It's just really frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. I'll add on that the only genuinely cool queer men in fandom I've met have come from yuri circles. The ones who try to talk about BL are, from my experiences, generally misogynistic, toxic, and feel as though everything should center around them because they're men and in BL the characters are men, as well. But when other women don't want to form community with them, they scream about 'homophobia' and 'fetishizing gay men.' No, you're just an annoying, awful person to be around, and the queer male yuri fans didn't want to deal with you either. Has anyone else, or you specifically, dealt with this? Is there a way to become friends with more queer men in BL spaces who aren't... like That? Or are there specific things/patterns to look for as far as who to avoid?

--

God, so much of this sounds so familiar.

I've known a sad number of trans dudes who overcompensate in dickhead ways. A lot of them do calm down a few years into presenting publicly as male, but it's infuriating to see that crap even if it's temporary.

I will say that two of my close circle of offline friends are trans men, including one who came out during the time we've all been friends. The defensive tomfoolery is in no way inevitable. Both of these dudes are nonwhite and have experience in various other geeky and queer spaces beyond BL (gaming, drag queens, etc.). Maybe that broader perspective helped, or maybe they're just nicer and more mature people than a lot of the little jerkfaces I run across online.

TBH, I often have better luck in offline meetups because to show up at all, people have to be a little more comfortable with getting along with others and behaving themselves. It's also sometimes easier to detect the people you want to back away from slowly when you can see how they treat people in person.

One of my neighbors is a cis gay guy. White, able bodied, middle class, yadda yadda. Exactly the demographic you'd expect to be the worst in certain spaces. He and his partner have lots of queer friends, and plenty of them aren't fellow cis gay guys, which is basically my litmus test for non-annoying cis gay guys offline. (Toxic cis gay dude culture is its own kettle of fish with a different set of issues than defensive trans boy culture, but I've encountered it plenty too.)

This neighbor is interested in geikomi and was delighted to find out I'm a fellow nerd and eager for all my nonfiction book recs about queer Japanese stuff. We don't necessarily overlap in our manga tastes, but there's still a lot we do share. When I ramble on about how AFAB queer people and/or bisexuals study history that's presented as cis gay men's history because that's all we have for most historical periods, he's like "Yeah, that makes total sense!" and not "Mine and not yours!"

I think the key here is that this is a dude who is secure in his identity, who's getting both his media and queer community needs met, and who's in his 40s, so he has some god damn perspective and doesn't need to pretend BL is aimed at him.

A lot of the little jerkfaces make me think "Did your preschool teacher not teach you how to share your toys?"

--

To be honest, there seem to be plenty of dudes hanging around my tumblr. A few cis. Many trans. But they're not going to bring it up incessantly in some defensive "you know I'm not a cootie-having girl, right?" way because who does that?

It comes up when there's a discussion about trans shit or BL as #ownvoices or whatever. (And, in general, any dude worth hanging out with will not think BL as an industry is, or should be, anything of the sort—even if he's expressing his own sense of queerness by writing some.)

On the flipside, I have seen some pretty extreme "no boys allowed" clubhouse nonsense in fandom. It's less common than it was, and past shitty dudes have often been the inspiration, but it can still be a bit much. The nicer class of fandom dude is often pretty hesitant in certain spaces because he's expecting to be met with hostility and is trying to figure out how to participate without tromping all over everyone. (TBH, the guys worrying about this are rarely the problem, but you know how it is.)

I've had dudes send me private messages being like "this thing you said seems kind of stereotypical and anti-man", but in the adult capable of conversation way, not in the tantruming 5-year-old way. And we had a conversation, and they stuck around.

I think having a very clear "It's not #ownvoices, fuck off" stance deters a lot of the more pestilential set. Being equally clear that everyone is welcome and that male yuri fans and female BL fans are pretty equivalent makes the guys worth knowing come out of the woodwork.

In 99% of spaces, I do not give a fuck if some man has his precious feelings hurt by a double standard or default suspicion of men... But fandom is a little unusual because of the demographics and relative power here being so different from in most spaces.

I've definitely seen some people who think women liking BL are fine because we care about characters' personalities, while male fans are all predators or all write f/f that is just fetishy porn or m/m that sounds like Nifty.org and not other fanfic or whatever.

And, yeah, I'll shut down the dumbasses crying in my inbox because I made a joke about Nifty and "coke can dicks" (the kind of guys who have clearly never read m/m that's aimed at dudes outside of fandom spaces), but at the same time, we should extend a little benefit of the doubt to our fellow fandom members of whatever gender. There are usually plenty of men facepalming right along with me at these inexperienced young fools who cannot bear to share.

I think you're just running into the problem that the loud people whose identities you know are often using those identities to browbeat other fans on social media.

--

There are fewer men in BL spaces than women or nonbinary people, so one will typically end up knowing fewer men.

Honestly, I think you find the reasonable people and get rid of the unreasonable ones in the same way regardless of gender: Gatekeeping bullshit is a red flag. Very Online understandings of oppression are a red flag. Enthusiastic and clueless blanket endorsement of own voices as a concept is a red flag. Lots of talking about "fetishization" or even "appropriation" in a very online way is a massive red flag. Monetizing fanfic or seeing other pro authors as competition instead of peers is another. (Professional jealousy and fear about earning potential are behind a lot of bad behavior.)

A lot of it is down to whether you're willing to make yourself a target by publicly telling annoying people to fuck off.

If others can tell what you stand for, they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. Most people keep their heads down a lot of the time, so it can be hard to even hear of them, let alone know if they're your sort of person.

--

tl;dr – Be nice to nice men. Tell shitty men to take a hike. Making friends with men is really as simple as that.

There are larger issues here with what kinds of queer spaces exist and whom they prioritize and with toxic understandings of what representation even means and what should be demanded of whose art. But as you say, a lot of women are also promoting toxic-ass understandings of these things.

The bottom line is that we must resist social media clout-driven understandings of justice. The loudest assholes in the room are rarely worth listening to.