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finnsbubblegum · 1 year

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Playing House (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah.

Summary: Zoo date with Joel and baby Sarah ended up in agreement to play house? What more could you ask for?

Words count: 1.7k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 3 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm beyond happy that many of you liked it so I hope you enjoy the next parts. Stay tuned and love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

It had already been a month since you babysat Sarah and you got closer to Joel. You spent almost every dinner with him. You even spent your weekends with him and baby Sarah. Joel and you probably even attached to each other at this point.

“We’re going to the zoo, yayy!!” You extended your hand to the back seat hyping up Sarah who was sitting in the baby car seat.

“You excited, babygirl?” Joel turned his head to look at Sarah before he drove.

*Sarah giggled*

“She’s definitely excited.” You laughed and looked at Joel.

“Seatbelt?” Joel reminded you.

“Right.” You grabbed the seatbelt and wore it.

“Okay. Done.” You told Joel.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Joel put his hands on the steering wheel and drove to the zoo.

At the zoo

“There’s so many people here.” You said as you cradled Sarah on your chest while waiting for Joel who was setting up the baby stroller.

“Maybe because it's the weekend?” Joel shrugged.

“Yeah.” You nodded and looked around.

“Ready?” Joel asked as he put the baby bag on his shoulder and held the baby stroller.

“She’s sleeping? Want to put her here?” Joel offered to put Sarah in the stroller.

“I’ll hold her for a while.”

Joel went to buy the tickets while you sat on the bench with Sarah. She slept so soundly so you decided to put her in the stroller.

“You got it?” You stood up as Joel was walking towards you.

“Yep.” Joel pushed the baby stroller and walked to the entrance with you.

It had been a while since the last time you went to the zoo so you got excited. You remembered when you were a kid you went to the zoo with your parents almost every month. You loved animals so you always asked your dad to bring you to the zoo.

“I missed this feeling.”

“Going to the zoo?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I used to go to the zoo every month with my family.” You chuckled.

“Glad I asked you to come.” Joel smiled.

“Thanks, Joel. I feel like a kid again.” You stroked his muscly upper arm.

“You’re welcome.”

*Baby Sarah babbled*

“Someone is awake.” You walked forward and crouched to see Sarah.

Joel stopped and crouched beside you.

“Hey, babygirl. You want to see around?” He caressed Sarah’s cheek with his index finger.

*Sarah giggled*

Joel lifted Sarah from the stroller and carried her with one arm while the other arm pushed the stroller.

“Give me the bag. I’ll carry it.” You wanted to help.

“No, no. It’s heavy.” Joel refused.

“Why don’t we put it in the stroller?” You suggested.

“Oh, yeah. Right.” You took the bag from Joel’s shoulder and put it in the empty stroller.

*Saw a lion*

“There! Look sweetie, it’s a lion.” You pointed at the lion. Joel turned Sarah so she could see.

“Roaarr..” You roared and made a claw gesture to Sarah.

She just stared at you confused.

“She has no idea what you’re doin’.” Joel laughed.

“Yep. She didn’t even flinch.” You laughed.

“We should bring her back here again when she’s bigger. I’m sure she won’t remember today.” Joel added.

Joel froze for a second. He thought to himself, “I did not just say that.”. He was embarrassed with the words he just said. Did he just ask you to come to the zoo with him and Sarah a few years in the future? Did he just include you in his future? He was flustered but he had to act cool.

“Yes, she’s too small to remember. But she looks happy now.” You stroked Sarah’s head who was resting on Joel’s chest.

“I haven’t seen monkeys. Where’s the monkeys?” Joel tried to change the topic.

“Wait. Let’s see the map.” You looked at the map and found where the monkeys were.

“Here.” You pointed at the location and guided the way.

You and Joel walked around the zoo and enjoyed the moment. You introduced various animals to baby Sarah even though you know she didn’t understand and she wouldn’t remember it. But it was fun and important to interact with the baby so you did it anyway. Joel also interacted with Sarah, he made animals sound to her and you laughed at him.

The day at the zoo was really fun. And you couldn’t stop thinking about what the waitress from the Mexican place said. She said that the three of you looked really cute as a family and even said you two made a beautiful baby?! You actually got butterflies when you heard that. You had always liked playing house when you were a kid so you enjoyed this moment with Joel and baby Sarah. You felt like you were spending your weekend with your family with a husband and a baby daughter. It felt real and you liked it. You wondered what other people thought when they saw the three of you. Did they see you and Joel as a married couple with a baby? The thought itself made you giggle but you tried your best to hide it. For a moment, you forgot that you weren’t ready to commit to a relationship.

“Do you want to sit for a while and get somethin’ to eat?” Joel pointed to an empty seat and table.

“Yeah, I’m kinda hungry.” You put your hand to your stomach.

“Sit here.” Joel dragged the chair for you to sit.

You moved the baby bag from the stroller and Joel put Sarah in the stroller.

“Hot dog?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, anything.” You nodded.

“Okay, wait here.” Joel nodded and walked away to buy hot dogs.

While waiting for Joel, you pushed the stroller back and forth so Sarah could sleep.

“Here.” Joel passed you the hot dog.

“Thank you.” You grab a bite to the hot dog.

Joel and you talked as you ate. Joel suggested that you sit for a while and rest.

“Joel..”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember the last time we met my ex that morning months ago? I haven’t talked to you about it..I-uh-I’m sorry I let him believe we were married. I just-I just want him to believe I’m happy without him. I mean I am happy. I’m sure you heard me that day. Well, long story short, he cheated on me. So I hate him so much.” You rolled your eyes as you tried to open up to him.

“I totally understand. You don’t have to apologize. He’s a jerk. Let him believe we’re married, I’m your husband, that’s okay, as long as I can help you.” Joel’s words touched your heart. How could a man be this sweet?

“Thank you, Joel.”

“I-uh-I also haven’t told you about Sarah’s mom.”

“Wait, I have a confession to make.” You stopped Joel.

“Confession?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“I actually overheard you and Sarah’s mom on the night she left.” You confessed.

“Oh..Yeah so she left us. We had a shotgun wedding and she decided to leave 3 months after Sarah was born. Said we’re not meant to be together. Doesn’t want a baby and everythin’.” He sighed.

“You deserve better, Joel.” You put your hand on top of his.

“Thank you.” He smiled at you.

“You know what? Should we keep doing this?” You lightened up the mood.

“Do what?” Joel was confused.

“This. Us playing house.” You pointed at him and yourself back to back.

Joel raised his eyebrows, pouted his lips and nodded.

“Should we make a contract?” You joked.

“Contract? I don’t follow.” Joel rested his chin on his palm.

“You know. Like in movies where they make contracts for fake relationships and stuff.” You explained. Joel nodded as he listened to you trying to digest what you were saying.

“At least we could do it in front of our exes. You did that for me. I’ll do that for you too if you want me to.”

“That sounds fun.” Joel was interested in your proposal.

“So should we write a contract now?” Joel asked.

“No, no. I was just joking. How about just a verbal pact?” You laughed.

“Deal.” He stretched his hand to you to shake your hand.

“Alright, Mr. Miller. Deal.” You shook his hand.

*baby cries*

“Time to eat.” You laughed.

Joel took the baby bottle from the baby bag and put Sarah in his arms to feed her.

“You hungry, huh?” Joel looked at Sarah as he fed her.

After Joel fed her, he stood up and put Sarah facing away from him to help her burp.

“Can I do it?” You offered.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” You insisted.

Joel passed Sarah to you and you placed Sarah on your chest facing back. You supported her chin on your shoulder and gently patted her back. After one or two minutes, she let out a burp.

“Good girl.” You chuckled.

“Oh!” You suddenly felt damp on your shoulder.

You turned away to show your back to Joel.

“Is there something on my back?” You asked Joel.

“Uhm..Yes..” Joel didn’t know what to say.

“What is it?” You panicked.

“I think Sarah just dribbled some milk on you.” Joel rubbed his mouth.

“Uh-oh.” You put Sarah back to the stroller and tried to look at your back.

Joel quickly got some tissue and helped you wiped the milk on your shoulder and hair.

“Here. Why don’t you change into this?” He took off his outer flannel shirt and gave it to you. He was now wearing only a white shirt.

“Thank you.” You went to the restroom to change and went back to him and Sarah.

“It looks like I’m wearing a dress.” You chuckled.

“You look cute.” Joel praised you but his voice was so small.

He didn’t want you to hear him. You heard him anyway but you acted like you didn’t. In fact, you were blushing. You and Joel continued wandering around the zoo, joking and laughing until the zoo closed then you went home.

“Today was fun.” Joel said as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I had a great time. Thank you.” You reached his hand and gave a slight touch.

“She’s sleeping.” You whispered as you looked at baby Sarah in the back seat.

“We gotta keep quiet.” Joel whispered and chuckled.

“I’ll wash your shirt and give you back tomorrow?” You pinched the shirt.

“Don’t worry about that.”

You went home smelling Joel’s shirt and giggled. His woody, musky, masculine smell gives you comfort and you wished you could keep it. But you had to give it back so you gave it a last smell before you put it in your washing machine and got back to reality.

To be continued…

Taglist:

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laangdonn · 4 months

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not anymore

summary: the aftermath of glenn and abraham leaves carl and y/n’s relationship in shambles.

pairing: carl grimes x female reader

a/n: first carl grimes post yayy, i love him so much and in my mind he lives on.

*read part 2 here*

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the house was quiet minus the occasional sniffle from carl and i. he was sat with his head in his hands on the leather sofa, his fingers lightly gripping his brown curls. i watched him carefully through blurry vision from behind the kitchen counter, supporting myself with my hands on the cold marble.

it was dark, the moon and a single saucer light in the kitchen shining as light.

it was so fucking quiet but my head had never been louder.

“so what are you saying?” i whispered, carefully watching my words.

he lifted his eyes for a moment until he brought his head back into his palms. he refused eye contact. “i don’t know what i’m saying.”

“you don’t love me anymore?” every word i spoke sent my stomach falling into my feet.

he didn’t answer. i didn’t know if that made it better or worse.

“jesus, carl, answer me-“

“i still love you,” he finally responded, his hand rubbing his face in stress. “of course i still love you.”

“then what’s wrong?” i pressed, a sudden urgency filling my veins. “why are we even having this conversation? why did you come home and suddenly act as if we’ve been fighting for weeks-“

“cause we have been, y/n!” his voice picked up now, throwing his hands in the air and standing up. he still hadn’t looked at me. “we have been fighting for weeks! we cant even look at each other without fighting! ever since glenn-“

“stop.” i cut him off, feeling my chest clench. “this wasn’t them, it wasn’t.”

but it was, and i knew it. the aftermath of glenn and abraham put a strain on the whole group, especially me and carl. we came home that morning, stumbling out of the RV and hadn’t been the same since. every time i looked at carl, all i saw were the tears streaming down his face and the reflection of glenn’s bloody skull in his eyes. i saw the black line drawn on carl’s left arm, and the axe raised in the air.

i looked at carl and i saw death.

i knew he felt the same.

“that day…” he started, taking a breath. “that day i had no other wish but to die. to keep you safe if that’s what it took. i couldn’t protect you from him and i don’t know if i can even try. i put you in danger by loving you.”

i shuddered a breath as the tears began to

clog my throat.

“that’s why i can’t love you, y/n. not anymore.”

“you act like that’s a choice you can make.” i choked out, a feeling of anger pushing forward. anger at the way he thought he could fool anyone who knew him.

“i can try.”

“BULLSHIT!” i snapped, slamming my hand against the cold counter and feeling it sting.

he buried his face in his hands and i could see his shoulders shaking. i felt my heart break then, knowing i wouldn’t be able to change his mind.

a sob broke its way through my throat, wet and rough, and i instantly regretted it because carl looked straight at my eyes and i felt myself sink deeper into the ground.

“don’t do this, carl…” i whispered, looking into his crystal blue eyes, a raging ocean encased in this beautiful human who i’d have to let go. i shook my head at him slowly.

“i’m going to get you killed,”

“then let me be killed knowing you loved me! isn’t that the best we can do?!”

“the best i can do is keep you alive.” he countered strongly. his voice was no longer broken or shaken, but determined.

i realized in that moment nothing could be done to change his mind, it had already been made up. carl was stubborn, too stubborn for his own good and he’d never be swayed by anyone, even me.

no words were spoken between us as we stared at the floor, drowning in the absence of each other. all i wanted in that moment was to touch him, to feel him under my skin and prove to me that he’s still real and he’s still here after everything that had happened. but he was taking that away from me and ripping my heart out along with it.

he inhaled a sharp breath, rubbing his hand on his face once more before he said, “it’d be best if you went to carol’s tonight.”

i swallowed harshly, nodding. at least he was right about one thing.

too tired to argue further, i walked past him and to the front door. he kept his head bowed, not looking at me. i could sense the tension as i barely grazed his shoulder, walking so fast i barely registered the soft material of his flannel on my skin. i paused in front of the door, gripping the handle and hoping he’d call out my name and beg me to stay.

but he didn’t. and i turned around to see his eyes were still trained on the floor, back turned. i felt the cold air envelop me and i slammed the door shut, reverberating and practically shaking the house. i sucked in a breath and pushed forward to the blue house a few doors down.

i knocked wearily, feeling my knees begin to wobble as the effects of what had just transpired hit me. suddenly i was a mess on the porch, breathing erratically as i tried to process what just happened. but, when i saw carols face when she opened the door, concerned at my state of being, i lost it.

she carried me into the house and let me sob my way through the story. she held me while i cried and laid me down once i had fallen asleep in her grasp, eyes crusted shut with tried tears, cheeks red, and lips swollen.

i dreamt that night of glenn.

———

in the morning i woke to the smell of toast and eggs. my stomach growled harshly and i realized i hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.

i gripped the banister on my way downstairs, being created with carol’s sympathetic smile. i sat down on the island counter as she pushed a plate of breakfast in front of me.

“i’m leaving for hilltop today.” i announced suddenly. her back was turned to me but i could sense the blank stare that must’ve washed over her. the sizzle of the pan of eggs on the stove top was the only sound heard for a moment.

then, she continued tussling the eggs in the pan, continuing on as if i hadn’t said anything. “it’s dangerous.”

“maggie needs me.” i answered simply.

“she’d feel much better if you stayed here. safe, with rick.”

i took a small bite of my toast, “she knows i can take care of myself. i should’ve gone with her and sasha right after…” i let my voice drift on, knowing i didn’t have to be specific. “i need to do this for her. for me. i cant stay here, carol, i can’t. not anymore.”

carol turned around at that, pouring her own eggs onto a plate. “well, i’m not going to stop you.” she said, taking a bite, “but i don’t think you should go alone.”

“i don’t need a babysitter,” i mumbled, beginning to lose my appetite. “im going by myself and that’s final.”

———

i opened the front door to the grimes’ home we shared cautiously. i anticipated to see carl in the front room with judith, as he always was, but to my surprise it was rick instead.

he was sat on the couch while judith babbled and played on the floor. his eyes were tired and lost, his face sunken with grief. he turned to look at me walking in and gave me the same, sympathetic smile i had gotten from carol.

i stood awkwardly in front of the door, looking anywhere but his eyes.

“he told you didn’t he.” i mumbled, not even being able to bring myself to say his name.

“no,” his voice was rough as he spoke, “i heard him last night crying in his room, after you’d left. and i knew.”

i felt my heart clench and my nose begin to sting. i nodded slowly, knowing i wouldn’t be able to choke out words i so desperately wanted to say.

“im going to hilltop today. only carol knows. i came to grab my stuff.”

his eyebrows furrowed at me and once i saw the disapproving look i spoke fast.

“i can make it there.” i promised, “we need each other.”

rick knew exactly who i was referring to and suddenly the look of disapproval vanished from his face. he nodded at me slowly, accepting the fact that this battle would be one he lost in trying to keep me here. he turned to judith and i took that as my cue to head upstairs.

“carl is at the armory, but he should be back soon,” i heard rick say, “i suggest you leave before he gets back, for both of your sakes.”

i didn’t answer, only continued up the steps. i didn’t want to see carl because i knew if he begged me to stay i would. it hurts knowing i perhaps don’t have that same control over him.

pushing open his door and revealing his room, our room was harder than i had imagined. i wanted to be out quickly, without hassle. i went through drawers, grabbing my things, stuffing them into the two duffel bags i had underneath our bed.

my heart dropped when i heard the front door open and close. i hadn’t been quick enough.

“where is she?” i heard his voice from downstairs and it motivated me to work quicker.

i managed to close the zipper on the second duffle bag but when i turned to the door i almost fainted. carl stood there with his arms hanging limp at his side, a blank stare on his face as he watched me pack my life away.

we stood facing each other for a long time. i stressed another fight, perhaps a bigger blowout than the last, but i looked into his sad, tired eyes and realized there wouldn’t be any fighting between us.

“how did you know i was here,” i mumbled.

“i went to carol’s looking for you. she told me you were leaving for hilltop.” his face scrunched up in disgust at his own words, as if just the thought of me leaving left a sour taste in his mouth.

“i am.” i said, voice feeble in an attempt to remain confident.

he shook his head slowly as tears began to rise up in his eyes. “don’t, y/n.”

“why not?” i pushed, crossing my arms over my chest. “why wouldn’t i leave? what’s left for me here?”

he didn’t answer.

“you let me go last night.” i stabilized my voice a bit, straightening my back to make myself look stronger as i spoke the words. “you can let me go again.”

“is that what this is?” he questioned, “is this reckless stupidity to punish me for last night?”

i scoffed, rolling his eyes at his narcissism. “no,” i chuckled in disbelief.

“then why? because this is the first time i’ve heard about this from you. not once have you said you’ve wanted to go to hilltop.”

“why wouldn’t i go?” i asked rhetorically, “maggie’s there and i want to help her. i feel so… so useless here! like, nothing is going right in this godforsaken place and last night was the last thing i needed to set me off.”

his face suddenly paled, his eyes softening. words were stuck on the edge of his tongue and i could see in his expression he contemplated letting them spill over. “i wanted to talk about last night.”

i turned around at that, beginning to rustle with my bag to occupy my hands. to do something other than hear him talk. especially about last night.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to hurt you, you have no idea how hard it was for me, letting you go like that.”

i scoffed again, “you don’t even have a clue how i feel, carl, so don’t even try to sympathize with me.”

“i-“

“save it.” i spat, anger beginning to rise up my veins at the idea that he was about to pity me. “nothing you can say, nothing you think you can do to make it okay won’t keep me from-“

a loud bang on the front door shook me from finishing my sentence, both our eyes widening as carl ran out of the room and to the stairs.

“anyone home?” a booming voice spoke. i knew that voice.

carl, eyes still wide, turned to me in shock. i stood frozen, my hand still clutching the strap of my duffel bag filled with things.

“aww, you are a cutie-pie aren’t you! where’s your mommy, huh?”

at that, my blood ran cold.

judith was downstairs, by herself, with him.

without another moment of hesitation, carl was booking it down the stairs. i closely followed; forgetting our fued and any other reason why i would be angry in the first place. judith came first.

when i got to the bottom of the stairs carl was already in a staring match with negan as he held judith in his burly arms. the sight almost made me vomit. if he was capable of all he did that night, what was stopping him from harming a baby?

“well would you look what we have here,” he smiled his wicked smile. “i remember you,” he said, pointing at me.

“give me the baby,” carl demanded, his eye narrow. i wouldn’t have wanted to be on the receiving end of his glare.

negan chuckled, “and why would i do that? she’s so precious, i don’t think i’ll ever let her go.”

i felt my eyes sting when he lifted her up higher, examining her small, angelic face with devil eyes.

“i’m not asking,” carl said confidently, his voice didn’t shake or tremble. surprisingly, he was calmer than me, and it was his sister. he kept his eyes trained on negan, never once allowing him to leave his hard gaze. “give her to me.”

negan looked between the two of us before letting out a large gasp, his eyes widening, “no fucking shit, pardon my french but, aren’t you two a little young…”

my cheeks flushed once i realized what he was implying. i slowly shook my head, staring at carl out of the corner of my eye. his eye narrowed further.

“that’s my sister.” he spat.

“this is rick’s baby girl?” negan bounced judith in his arms again, eliciting a small giggle from her. “wow! now it’s a grimes’ party!”

he eyed me up and down, “sweetheart,” he beckoned me to take the baby, and without question i stepped up, carefully taking her out of his grasp and into the safety of my arms. i let out a sigh of relief, smoothing her golden hair back.

i backed up to carl’s side again, keeping my arms strongly around judith’s small body. she twirled a strand of my brown hair around her stubby finger, giggling again.

ever so slightly, carl stepped in front of me, shielding judith and i from whatever this man could do.

“so, where’s rick?” negan asked as he began trodding around the room, picking up trinkets left in the house by the previous owners.

“not here,” carl answered stiffly. out of the corner of my eye, i saw his hand lightly graze over the top of his jeans. my heart pounded a little faster.

negan sighed disappointedly, “well, im gonna go look for him! in the meantime, a few of my men will be by here to collect half your shit for me to take! kapeesh?”

he walked over to me and patted judith’s back, getting sickenly close. i held my breath, attempting to shield my fear. “i’ll be back for you, sweetheart.”

a chill ran down my spine when judith giggled at the man’s words. it felt like i was holding that breath in all the way until the front door closed and i could breathe again.

suddenly, carl gripped my shoulders and forced me to face him. “take judith upstairs and stay there.”

boots crunching against gravel outside made my stomach drop, the sound getting closer as each second passed. i shook my head violently. “i’m not leaving you down here by yourself.”

“i’ll be fine, go upstairs. now!” he pushed me in the direction of the stairs, judith cooing. i suddenly felt the urge to tell him i loved him, to hold him and make sure he’s safe. i never wanted to leave his side.

i had barely made it up the stairs and out of sight by the time the men had opened the door and i heard carl already start with the spiteful comments. he’s gonna get himself killed.

i placed judith in her crib, cooing to her softly to make sure she was settled. i locked her door from the inside, stuffing the key in my back jean pocket and headed for the stairs. i peeked through the railings, watching carl argue with one of negan’s men while the other ransacked the kitchen.

“you said half!” carl growled, watching the men stuff cabinet after cabinet of food into a large bag.

“we’ll take as much as we want.” one of the men replied, his tone snark and condescending.

my eyes bulged when i saw carl turn around and raise his gun to the man in the kitchen. he cocked it, his finger edging the trigger. “put it back.”

at this, i ran downstairs to carl’s side, just in time for the man behind him to cock his gun, right at my head.

carl’s head turned, his face pale when he saw the cold metal pressed up against my head, and the man’s strong arm around my torso.

“put the gun down, kid.” the man with the gun to me demanded. carl didn’t budge.

“carl…” i whispered carefully, my heart thumping in my ears loud enough to the point where i could barely hear myself talk aloud. “put it down…”

he stood there for a moment, his hand holding the gun beginning to shake as his pupil turned into a devilish slit to the man threatening my life. after what felt like hours, he finally lowered the gun, and i let out a sigh of relief when the metal left my hair.

we watched in distraught as they picked apart every inch of our home. luckily, we were able to keep him from going upstairs, and they left without another word to either of us. as the front door slammed shut i was pulled harshly into carl’s arms, his whole body shaking in rage.

his grip was tight and constricting, as if the anger was flowing into the hug. i could barely get a breath out, and i felt him shakily let out a few of his own into my ear, his chin digging into the crevice between my neck and my shoulder.

i could feel his rage. it coursed through him like the blood in his veins. his brain pumped more thoughts of negan, his saviors, their wrath, and i felt him slip into his emotions.

“i love you,” he whispered, his voice harsh, embrace still solid.

a tear dropped onto the warm skin of my shoulder, and by then i knew, everything he had said to me last night was nothing but a mistake.

i nodded against him, “i know.”

———

the rest of the day he didn’t let go of me, refused to. we laid in bed and i realized he was still thinking of this mornings’ events.

rick had come back an hour after the saviors left and panicked, asking about judith and if we were okay. he saw carl practically in tears from anger on the couch and me coddling his fragile ego.

he told us to stay in the house the rest of the day, and he’d be back to salvage whatever food he could find for dinner after our kitchen became nothing but a hollow, empty shell.

laying on carl’s chest, i drew patterns onto the grey of his shirt. we laid in silence, comfortable yet uncomfortable silence, until he broke it.

“today,” he started, his voice low, “when he had his gun up to your head, i realized something.”

i lifted my head slightly to look at him, his eye trained on the wall in front of us.

“you were about to die without me saying i love you today.” he sucked in a sharp breath, “and- and i realized i couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”

he finally looked down to me, his eye glazed over, staring at my with a heartbreakingly beautiful gaze that told me everything i needed to know.

“carl-“

“if you still want to go to hilltop i wont stop you.” he continued, cutting me off, “but if they come there-“ his voice hitched, his chest tightening under me. “remember that even after what i said, i cant ever stop loving you, y/n.”

the tears that had been building in my eyes finally spilled over. i realized the extent of what we were all going through, what our reality is. that we don’t know if today is promised, more so than before we met the saviors. that humans are far more dangerous than any walker we’d ever come across.

we were all living on borrowed time, and at some point, we’d have to return it.

i buried my head in his warm chest and sobbed. sobbed for glenn, for abraham, for maggie, for judith, for me, for carl, for us together. i sobbed for what we’d never have again as far as it seemed.

safety.

“what are we gonna do,” the words tumbled out of my mouth deliriously, through snot and sobs.

he didn’t answer, but carl’s grip around me tightening, and the way his chest stuttered, answered for him when his throat had nothing to offer.

but then he spoke. low and menacing. he acquired a sort of vendetta he didn’t have the night prior. he wasn’t about to let me go for them. not anymore.

“we’re gonna make them pay.”

#carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes angst #the walking dead #twd #rick grimes #carol peletier #negan smith #twd negan #twd carl #twd season 7 #angst with a happy ending #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes one shot #carl grimes imagine

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tan1shere · 5 months

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Slumber Party pt 2

A/n: think I've sorted it ! Yayy so if you would like a part 3 let me know ;) (repost)

Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend

Warnings: heavy smut, cunnilingus, Dom but soft Ellie (in a way???), riding, touching, alcohol, mentions of smoking, strap usage, pet names. If there's anything else I missed, pls lmk !!

Pt 1 here ! ~ pt 3 here!

It had been a few weeks from the last incident. Everything was pretty normal (for your living) Isabel would occasionally scold you for this or that but never yelled since that one time. You were happy about that as it always made you feel so empty inside like someone had grabbed your chest, yanked your heart and stomped on it. Even if you didn't necessarily love Isabel anymore the situation was hard. You knew you could go to Ellie, but that left you with that weak feeling again. Like you couldn't fend for yourself. You refused to reach out for help until it got to the point where it was bad. Incredibly bad. And that was today. A day before Isabel was suppose to go away to New York. You were cleaning, cooking meals.

You even packed her bag for her while she was at work. Like you had been asked to do. You were always like this growing up. The relationship didn't change you. You always go by the rules and making people happy. If you didn't you felt empty. You felt like you failed them. "I'm home." She calls out sounding tense, dropping her bangs down in an angry manner, but you didn't hear her as you were in the shower. She looks around to see some food. Ones she would take with her and the dinner for that night. She noticed something she didn't request on the list. First mistake of the night. She came into the bedroom to look for you finding her suitcase. She looked at it done differently to how she usually does it. You come out of the bathroom wrapped in your towel. "God you're pathetic. Can't follow simple instructions. Can you!"

You stand there shocked. "I've had a shit day to come home to more. Shit." "Iz-" She strides closer looking furious. "You are so fucking useless." She spat with fury. Raising her hand landing a slap to your face. You quickly put your hand over it before your gasping, widening your eyes, as she wraps her hand round your neck. "You will get changed. Do the meals I ask, and pack my suitcase the way I want. Got it." You nod desperate to get some air into your lungs. Relieved when she finally let's go. You let out a few coughs, watching as she walks out of your bedroom.

You start to bawl your eyes out as you try to calm down, when you get a call from Ellie but you're too scared right now to even answer. Getting dressed and trying to regain your composure as you start on your bag. Now, this was very unlike you to ignore her calls, and especially not say anything on why, soon after. She starts blowing up your phone panicking. You haven't told ellie about the abusiveness. But she's had a bad feeling for awhile now that she may hurt you. You go to look at your phone for a quick second.

"Oh no you don't." You see Isabel coming over to you, snatching your phone. "Hey!" She does the unspeakable and smashes it on the floor. "No!" You look down at it then at her. "What did I say?" You stand there out of pure shock. "Answer me damn it." You look back at her. "I- I was about to-" She stares at you, about to turn away when you think of Ellie and how strong she is. Embody her Y/n. Do it. "No." You whisper slightly, but she hears. "What was that?" You keep looking at her. "If you don't like it you should've done it yourself cuz I've been working all day on i-" She storms towards you nearly knocking you off your feet with a punch to the face. Inaudible.

You feel frozen, stunned. Like everything has stilled, you start to hear a ringing in your ear at the impact. "Dont EVER speak to me like that again. Do you hear me?" Tears flow like a streaming river. "Do you fucking hear me." Blood can be felt dripping. "Y-yes.. sorry." You try and gain balance but feel incredibly light headed. "I'm sick of this." She says, heading for the front door, she is met with an angry and concerned looking Ellie. "Do whatever the fuck you want I don't give a shit anymore." She screams as she leaves for the car. Ellie knits her eyebrows together as she watches her leave. She walks in the house, beginning to hear sobs, she sprints into the bedroom to be met with you on the floor, blood dripping down your nose, it smeared on your hands as you try desperately to stop it from flowing even more. "Shit, fuck."

Ellie curses as she comes closer to you, kneeling on the ground. "I- I yelled at her and it- I got-" You try explaining. "Shh sh. Tell me later ok?" You just gently nod as she tries to get you on the bed, on a more comfortable surface. "Don't panic, I'm just going to get some towels and such, I'll be right back." You nod yet again. Trying to focus on her. Her words. She comes back not long after with the supplies she will need. "Hold this to your nose and tilt your head back a bit, can you do that for me?" Again, you nod, doing exactly as she says. She sighs. "I had a feeling she was like this. Why didn't you try to tell me?"

She softens her look. Her voice. "I was afraid she'd find out and do worse.. I'm sorry." She shakes her head. "Never be sorry for something that isn't your fault." Once she's done she looks at you, looking at the bruises on your face. "I'm sorry she did this to you angel, I really am." You look down at your hands. Not sure how to speak right now. But she knows that. She goes closer to you bringing you in for a hug. You sink into it. Into her touch. You missed being held like this. It felt special, especially when she was the one hugging you.

You woke up the next morning to Ellie being gone. You were saddened but you look to your side to see a note. 'When she leaves tomorrow I'm coming to pick you up. You don't need to be there, there's no point.' It was obviously Ellie who wrote it you can tell by her messy handwriting. You look at the clock that was on the wall reading the time. It was right when Isabel was suppose to be leaving. You had slept for a few hours. You touch your nose remembering the events of yesterday, feeling it had dried but still sore. Suddenly you hear the front door being opened and a suitcase being dragged on the hardwood floor. Getting up to go see her leaving. "I'll be back in a week." She says coldly. You nod gently, watching as she leaves. Once you know she has you let out a deep sigh, looking around the room, going to the fridge as you were hungry. Scavenging for something tasty you settle on a

cheese stick. Simple but enough for you. That sentiment reminded you of Ellie a little bit. She was very simple, the way she lived her life. But enough for you. She was perfect. You shake your head out of those thoughts like you always do but a tiny bit linger. It was no lie how she would make you feel, whenever she would talk about space, art, dinosaurs. Your heart would flutter. You loved listening to her pretty voice talk about her interests. It inspires you to dive into your passion. But that'd never become reality. Just a simple dream. You wanted to be a designer. Whether it was clothes. Furniture. You loved making everything tidy, and pretty. In an order that was well planned out. It was your little thing. And the only person who knew of this dream was Ellie. She'd tell you to chase after it, but with how you lived, there was no chance of that ever happening. So you like to daydream about it. You walk over to the couch sitting down, only for a split second when you hear a car pull up outside. You listen. It was Ellies car. It was old but she loved it. Which made you love it. You finish your cheesey goodness before grabbing your shoes and heading out to the car, you smile as she notices you. To which she returns that smile. "Hey you. Sleep alright?" You give her a small shrug. "It was alright. The pain wasn't subsiding at all though." You let out a breath through your nose at the thought, whincing as the cold air makes it sting a bit.

"We will just have to take it easy. I still think you should consider my offer-" You immediately shake your head. "Its fine, maybe this trip will do her good." You state. "Or make her more agitated." Ellie mumbles. You hear her clearly. "But we aren't worrying about that we are having a fun filled week. I have a new drawing to show you. I went down to the beach and sat in my car, I saw these seagulls fight over a burger bun. Quite entertaining if you ask me." That makes you let out a soft giggle. "Can't wait to see how you drew that." She smiles at your giggle. "You're gunna love it!"

Once you arrived at Ellies home you take a breath in. It always smelt earthy, in the best way possible. "You can take my bed-" She began but you cut her off. "I'm staying here?" She nods. "While she's away, I'd hate for you to be alone." You look around for a second. "You really want me here?" You look at her. "Why wouldn't I?" She laughs slightly at your question. You nod, going over to the couch. "But please, I can take the couch, this is your place after all!" She simply shakes her head. "I want you to be comfortable." "But I am Els. I'm always comfortable when I'm here." She takes a moment to look at you, then remembers. "Ahah! Almost forgot to show you the amazingness." She stands up fully, going over to her art room and coming back with her sketch book. You wait in anticipation to see this drawing. She opens it out so you can see it. "Tada!" She speaks in triumphant. You smile wide as you observe the sketch of the seagulls. "I adore it Els!" She then goes to turn the page, you guessed to show something else but she realizes what it was soon after. It was a sketch of you. "Oh fuck, that's not important but, the seagulls were going crazy over that burger patty, I started cracking up laughing-" You can't help but think of the drawing of you. "You've drawn me before?" You look at her, puzzled but interested. "It was just-" She sighs.

"You were just sitting there, you looked so peaceful. I guess you inspired me.. you inspire me alot actually." She goes to flip the page again showing you more. "I never wanted to say anything in case you thought it was creepy or something." You have known Ellie for how long and she's still thinking like this? "Els. I'm so flattered. I could never be creeped out. If anything I'm honored to inspire your art." She smiles at you. "Well I'm glad because I'd really like to do more. Ones where you're actually looking at me. I tried to do already existing photos but it didn't feel right. Wasn't in the moment." She states. You love how beautifully she would always words such things. It made your heart swell. Was that wrong? You were with someone already. Not a very nice someone, but thats besides the point. Not to mention Ellie was your best friend. You shouldn't ruin that as she's the only true person in your life right now. You gotta push these feelings aside. "So what happens in a day to day life of the Ellie Williams?" She smiles at your words, plopping on the couch and leaning back into the cushions. "Well nothing that exciting. I mean I can do whatever I please whenever I please. Usually I'll wake up late, maybe have something to eat. Watch TV. Just boring stuff. Maybe have a small time to smoke but that's about it."

You nod as you listen. That's one of the things she loved about you. How you'd listen. Especially when she'd say something stupid (Only she would think that) You would just give a gentle smile and nod, signaling that you were taking in everything she said. "Why don't you draw me now?" She looks at you. "Yeah?" You nod. "Alright then." She stands, heading to her art room to get some stuff. "Here wear these." She hands you some petite round glasses, with a thin black rim. "You have props?" "Why ofcourse I do." You smile at her and put them on. They had no lense so you could see just fine. You look at her waiting for what she wanted you to do. She looks at you thinking. "I want you to hold this book. Put your legs up and rest them on your knees. Then." She ponders some more. She goes to ruffle your hair a bit. "Els!" She shh's you. "Let me do ma thang." She moves a bit of your hair over your face having one of your beautiful eyes poking out with the glasses. "And perfect. Not that I needed to do much."

She smiles. You feel heat rise to your cheeks. She always talks to you like this, why are you now reacting? She begins to sketch, while you sit there looking at her. Admiring how concentrated she was. She would occasionally chew on her lip as she looked at the page, even sticking a bit of her tongue out while biting it. You saw the way her features lit up as she looks at you. You were infact. Falling inlove with Ellie. And you don't think there was any way of stopping it.

It was a few days later, you were in the kitchen making food for the both of you as she then walks in the room. "Woah there whatcha doin?" You turn around to look at her. "Just making breakfast." You smile wide at her. She chuckles. "Uh uh. You aren't in that hel lhole no more, you don't need to be doing that. We can just order something. Relax for once." She flops on the couch. And for once you decide to do so going over to her and sitting by her. "I was thinking of inviting my friend over tonight, you remember Dina right? She will possibly bring her boyfriend but I just wanted to see what you thought about it." You look at her. "Sooo like a small party?" She thinks of a response. "I guess so, but it'll just be the 4 of us, I would really like if you got to know them, they will really like you I promise!" She smiles at you. "Sounds fun to me." You return the smile.

Things had been going good. You were all laughing, enjoying yourselves. You were into your third drink now. Just honestly glad you decided to. "I was really missing out!" You take another sip but Ellie takes it and sets it down. "Slow down angel- you don't want to rush into it." You just giggle, making her smile at your slightly tipsy state. "Remember old times in school. We would always play truth or dare, or. What are the odds!" Dina explains. "Oh no, I know where this is going. 'Let's play it'." Ellie mocks her voice. "Well duh, lets do it!" Ellie shakes her head laughing. "What are we 12?" Dina nods. "Yes. Yes I am. Right who's starting?" At school you'd never get invited to parties. (Is it obvious?) Even if you did, you'd never attend one. It wasn't your thing. So you never had played nor known much about these games. "Y/n. Truth or dare?"

So when Dina asked you, you decided to go for the safest option. As you had seen on TV in random romances. "Truth." You smile softly. "Have you ever had a three way?" She smirks. "Dina she probably doesn't know what that is." You think back to all the things Ellie has told you about but you never once heard her utter those terms. "I haven't no." You look at Ellie. "Guys you should know she's not really into this sort of thing." Dina looks at you. "That's ok, we can do something else if you don't want to play this." You look at her as she gives you a smile.

"Oh no that's alright. I don't mind playing it's just not going to be very interesting as I haven't done anything." She furrows her brows. "Nothing? At all?" "I've only ever kissed someone and that's my partner currently. She's the only one I've kissed." Ellie looks at you. "Wait only her? You've had other girlfriends-" You nod as she's right. "We weren't really with eachother long enough for us to get to that stage." Dina smirks. "And you said it wouldn't be interesting. If anything this is more intriguing." You laugh gently at her words.

You were saying your goodbyes to Dina and Jesse. You turn around, facing Ellie once they're gone. It might be the alcohol talking but she looked really good right now. You stalk closer towards her. She smiles at you. "Come on I think you need some rest." She takes a few steps closer but you just look at her dumbly. "Did you know you're all I've been thinking about all night." You blurt out, unable to control anything at the moment. "Y/n you're drunk. Let's get to bed-" "kiss me." She widens her eyes in shock. Not exactly sure how to respond. "Go on Els. You can." She sighs. "I wish you had this much confidence sober." She goes to grab you bringing you to her bedroom to get you to lay down. She had made you sleep in her bed. There was honestly no turning it down as she kept insisting on it, so that's where you slept the whole time you were there.

"Ellieeee." You whine out. "Go to sleeeep." She trys to get you to stay down. Failing as you're a mess right now. "Atleast stay with me." She sighs again. "Pleaseeee." You try and Ellie being Ellie, she caves in. Getting in with you and bringing you close to her. You look up to her smiling. You decide to just lean in anyway and give her a messy peck to the lips. She's shocked to say the least. She freezes. In all honesty, she can't believe it had happened at all.

She would always think about it. How soft your lips would be. How much she'd be able to kiss you better then that asshole you're with. She knew she could. She let her thoughts wander. Thinking about your body, how she'd treat you just how you should be treated. She wanted to badly. She snaps out of these thoughts as you snuggle into her. She let it. This has been what she wanted. She couldn't though. What on earth was she gunna do now.

You woke up the next morning to a slight headache. Not horrid but it was definitely there. You genuinely don't remember much, that is until you turn your head to see Ellie fast asleep. You widen your eyes, suddenly regaining memory of the events. Oh shit. That's incredibly embarrassing. You kissed her? So carelessly. That is not how you wanted that to go whatsoever. You gently sit up, feeling her stir at your dumb attempts to be quiet. "Good morning you." She looks at you with a tired expression. Then she remembers. Sitting up also. Awkward. So incredibly awkward. It's not like you haven't hugged Ellie before or anything. Nor cuddled.

So why is it incredibly awkward. Because your dumbass kissed her. Better yet while drunk. You remember how it felt though. Amazing to say the least. Incredible even. But she's your best friend. Not to mention you're still with Isabel. Oh my god. You cheated. That begins to play over and over in your head along with the lines of 'you're a bad person' You don't even want to think about it. So you get up and head out into the living room, leaving Ellie to feel more awkward and confused. This wasn't good.

It was a day later from the mishap. You didn't even speak to one another. You still panicked over the fact you had 'cheated' you were going stir crazy. Ellie was also thinking similar. Not about the 'cheating' because in all fairness she couldn't give a shit, she knew Isabel would have deserved it. She's worried about you, and your thoughts. Are you going to distance yourself from her? Are you going to try forget the moment. She tried to guage your emotions. Something she would always do pretty well. But not this time. You were currently watching TV. Ellie had, had enough of the silence. "I enjoyed it." Was the only thing she thought to say.

Only thing that seemed less stupid that came to her mind. You turn around to look at her. "W-what?" You were confused, but also starting to get nervous. "I like you. There's no doubt about it. Actually, no I don't like you Y/n I love you. And I can't just sit here and watch that bitch keep on hurting you when I know for a fact I could treat you so much better, and that kiss is doing all sorts to my brain right now I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about how stupidly I didn't kiss back-" You stand to meet her, still smaller than her but you swiftly grab her shirt and pull her into you. Forcefully kissing her again. She was shocked, but this time kisses back almont immediately.

She grabs ahold of your waist pulling you impossibly closer to her. It was heating up. And fast. You two pull away for air, to think about this all. But neither of you wanted that you just wanted to do. She grabs your cheeks to kiss you again. Missing the feeling of how soft they really were. And in all honesty. They were better then she imagined. She slowly pushes you gently onto the couch, climbing on you, not once breaking the heated kiss you two were having. She moves her knee in between your legs subconsciously. You let out a small breath at the feeling. She starts to move the kiss to your jaw. Then your neck. "Els.." You let out a content sigh. "Is this alright?"

You nod, eagerly, for more. "I'm not going to lie to you Y/n. I've dreamt about this. Dreamt of how I was your first and how I could make you feel amazing. Better then you even think she could." You stare at her as she speaks. "God I've been waiting for years." She says hungrily going in to kiss you again, starting to take your shirt off leaving you with nothing as you usually didn't really wear a bra. She devoured the fact you didn't. Immediately leaning down to suck on your newly hardened nipples. You let out a long shakey moan at the feeling, finally getting what you've wanted but been too scared for. There was no denying it. You were not, scared no more. You wanted it all. You wanted her. And she couldn't of folded for you any more. She trails those sucks down slowly to your small shorts.

She takes them off with the same pace. Letting out her own slight moan as she sees more of you. Sees how the thin fabric of your underwear clings to you, especially now that she's gotten you worked up, wet. She hums to herself. "Wonder who did that. Huh, baby?" She taunts, knowing it was her work. She goes to take them off completely leaving you completely naked. You didn't mind but you grab at her bicep. She got what you were hinting at. "All in good time angel. All in good time." She wanted to savor this. Make it longer. But she also didn't want to wait any longer then she had been. For years on end. And neither did you. You wanted to feel all the amazing feelings. Especially with Ellie. She strips off her hoodie leaving her in her wife beater.

"I can't wait any longer." She dives down to your needy core, wasting absolutely no time, eating you out like it's her last meal. She knew she should go slow but she just couldn't resist. You obviously don't mind. "Els.. Fuck-" You let out a slightly louder moan at the way she's moving her tongue in you. It was long, there was no doubt about it. And very skilled. She twists and turns it, occasionally moving up to your clit, flicking it every so often for a different sensation. You roll your hips into her mouth and arch your back. Making your head lay back into the couch as you relish in this beyond amazing feeling. You shakily sigh as you begin to feel a indescribable feeling in your lower tummy. Ellie feels you clench around her tongue so she knows you're also close.

But she suddenly gets a small idea before she makes you have the most jaw dropping orgasm. She takes her phone out and gets Isabel's number, she had from awhile back when you gave it to her just in case of- anything really. She goes to type, feeling so pussy drunk right now. She was enjoying how you taste like crazy.

She smirks against your skin at the reply, setting her phone down and speeding up her movements. "Ellie..." You sigh out, in between a moan. She hums. "Let go for me pretty. I've got you. Yeah baby. Cum all over my face." That just about makes you break, with her words, her voice, her tongue her mouth- you let out one of the loudest moans that you've ever mustered up. Feeling your body shake as you cum all over Ellies face. You watch as her eyes roll back enjoying that way too much. She eats it all. Laps it up. Running her hands along your thighs, soothing them from the shakeyness. You lay there, incredibly out of breath, wondering what on earth had just happened.

"I'm not done with you yet sweet girl. Whether or not this is the last time I get to do this, I'm making it worth it." She says standing up off the couch, holding her hand out. You take it, cautiously standing with her. She takes you to her bedroom and gets you to lay down. "I think about using this on you. How you'd struggle." She declares, holding the strap in hand. You only know what its called because of her, how she'd use it on all these girls. Now you get the privilege of getting fucked by her with it. "But I don't want to rush you. Even if you are ready." She sits on the bed, maneuvering to lay down. "I want you to come sit on my lap, and ride it. You think you can do that for me?"

You nod, swiftly going to her lap, excited to. "Good girl." She breathes out going to put it on. You feel weak as she says that, and for the first time in, well. Ever. You don't even care. Once she's done you go to hover over it, her slender hands holding the base. "Sink down for me- there you go baby." She grunts as you lower yourself slowly but surely. You let out a small whimper at this new profound feeling. Resting your hands on her torso, once you're comfortable enough you begin to move. Easing yourself into this feeling of complete and utter pleasure. You let your mouth hang open as she grabs ahold of your hips. "That's it, shit. You learn so fucking well. So incredibly good for me aren't you." You nod, biting your lip with a small whine. "God I can't wait to fuck you dumb into this mattress. It will happen I count on it."

The way she says these filthy things makes your pussy flutter, she leans her beautiful hands up to your breast, squeezing with ease. "I feel you hugging me tight angel. I know you're close." She knows she can't truly feel it but she feels the way your struggling as your walls begin to squeeze up around the strap. You let out a struggled hum, feeling as though you could burst at any moment.

"Come on pretty girl. Let go for me." She says softly but oh how dirty it really was. You nod, as you can feel it approaching.

"That's it, such a good girl." She grunts, leaning a hand to your aching clit, rubbing small circles. It sends you over the edge, cumming with another loud moan, feeling the liquid drip down your thighs. She then feels herself cum in her boxers. The harshness of your movements causing the friction to impact on her, she felt just as amazing. You flop onto her chest, exhausted and heavy eyed. You feel her strong arms wrap around your tired, fragile figure, feeling warm and content. "You're mine. And you always will be. No matter what, or who. Mine, angel. Mine." She says into your hair, as you fall into a deep, blissful sleep.

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams the last of us smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #elliewilliams

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pakhnokh · 4 months

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House of Gentians Arc 2 PDF available for P4trons

Yayy! It's finally here!

The PDF file of the second arc of House of Gentians is now available on my Patreon for members of the Peke-King tier.

It has 203 pages. It includes: - House of Gentians Arc 2 comic (169 pages) - Extra mini comic "the Dog" (10 pages) - Extra art pieces (4 pieces) - Extra mini comic Cornetto commercial (6 pages)

For more information see here

Disclaimers:

“House of Gentians” is a fan comic for the original title “Mo Dao Zu Shi” (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. All characters, names, places and events belong to the original creator.

“House of Gentians” is not for profit, and is available for free on my (Pakhnokh) social media accounts. The PDF files are a gift for my patrons who support my art and my work.

THE COMIC/PDF FILES, OR ANY PART OF THEM, MUST NOT BE EDITED, ALTERED, TRANSLATED, SHARED, DISTRIBUTED OR UPLOADED TO OTHER PLATFORMS.

SHARING THE PDF FILES WITH OTHERS IS FORBIDDEN.

SELLING THE PDF FILES IS FORBIDDEN.

ANY VIOLATION OF THIS WILL LEAD TO ME BLOCKING THE RESPONSIBLE PERSON ON PATREON AND USE OTHER ACTIONS I DEEM NECESSARY

HoG ARC 3 (TBA)

PREVIOUS EXTRA: Cornetto Commercial mini comic

PREVIOUS PART (ARC 2)

ABOUT + TABLE OF CONTENTS

#mo dao zu shi #house of gentians #HoG #PDF #pakhnokh #wangxian #wei wuxian #mdzs #lan wangji #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #yiling laozu #comic #AU

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neuvistar · 10 months

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HONKAI STAR RAIL MEN AS FATHERS! pt two.

— featuring ┊luka, luocha, welt, sampo koski x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊hsr men as fathers pt 2 !! mostly fluff, not proofread, mentions of pregnancy i think?? i forgot, them being absolute sweethearts, since we don’t know much abt luka yet i might fuck up on his character but it’s okay, DILFS DILFS DILFS! overall just fluff | pt one here. (jing yuan, blade, dan heng, gepard) pt three. (aventurine, dr ratio, argenti, sunday, boothill, gallagher)

— a/n ┊PART TWO OF THE HSR PAPAS!!! luocha n jing yuan prettiest dilfs i’ve ever seen foreal no one can convince me otherwise!

best papa #1 luka

— LUKA seems like one of those fun dads, he’s not generally strict but he wants his kids to be safe at the same time, he’s so fun and your kids love that he loves them sm! i think he’ll have two daughters, he’s another girl dad! his daughters would parallel each other, one is more feminine while the other is more masculine ! like one daughter would be just like him, interested in self defence techniques n all those things while his other daughter would be a little mini princess, feminine and sweet <3 he loves both of them sm

— LUKA who would spend time with his family + daughters any chance he gets, especially his daughters! he’s so chill, he wants them to be free and do what they want to do <3 i bet sometimes his other little daughter would force him to play dress up with her as a kid, “please daddy? pleaseeeeee!” how could he say no to his little princess? he ends up playing tea party and princesses + tiaras w her daily when she was still a cute little toddler, HES THE SWEETEST

— LUKA who loves it when his daughters ask him to teach them a few of his self defence techniques, even as toddlers one of his daughters would always copy his movements and copy what he does, and as she grew she would grow to be a strong independent young girl, HE LOVES TEACHING THEM THINGS HE LOVES DOING! his little daughter’s hair tied up in a long ponytail as she has a determined look on her face, wanting 2 be exactly like daddy! crying emoji

“is this how you do it daddy?”

“mhm mhm! that’s it princess, make sure to bend your elbows, no— yup! like that”

“yayy! daddy i’m just like you!”

“you’re just like daddy, that’s right!” he would pick her up, twirling her around “maybe even better than daddy, mm?”

— LUKA who is supportive of his daughters, oh.. they have a different dream they wanna pursue? he supports them! oh.. they want to do their own thing when they grow up? he supports them! he’s so supportive, even just in general! he wants his daughters to live their lives to the fullest, he wants them to find the beauties in life, they still have so much to explore <3

— LUKA who loves going out with his girls, i feel like during your anniversaries or valentine’s day or sumn like that he would be at the store buying something with both of his daughters holding one hand and he would randomly go “what would your mommy like, girls?” “what do you think fits mommy the most?” THEY LOVE HELPING HIM OUT, your daughters adore you both sm, it’s like luka still has a puppy crush on you despite being married with two kids

“would mommy like this one, girls?”

“i think mommy would like this one more, she said she liked these kinds of flowers once!”

“did she? alright, let’s get them!” he has a huge puppy crush on u (even tho u guys r married) it’s insane

best papa #2 luocha

— LUOCHA would be a loving doting father, i feel like he’d have two boys and one girl (jesus christ) and his two boys would look exactly like him, long blonde hair n same features aaahh ALSO HIS LITTLE PRINCESS WOULD HAVE HER DADDY’S EYES IM CALLIN IT RN! in conclusion his kids would look majestic just like their papa ! when he had his first child he probably shed a tear or two, holding him carefully in his arms :(( he’s a natural dad like jing yuan, it’s like he immediately knew what to do and was a natural at everything! by the time his third child was born he got the hang of taking care of his kids <33

— LUOCHA who’s children got injuries sm as kids n he was always there to aid them <3 during games he would participate in, there would probably be a time where one of them got hurt ATLEAST once, like his son falling over one time n luocha hastily walking over to him and picking him up from the ground + he’s the type to kiss their booboos once he helped disinfect it, putting a bandaid wherever they got injured and kiss it better :(( his children r so lucky to have a father who has good medical skills foreals crying emoji + it’s not only for this, he’s always willing to nurse them back to health!

“does that feel better?”

“m—mhm..” his son nodded, wrapping his small arms around him, sobbing quietly against his neck

“there there, no need to cry my angel. daddy already kissed your boo-boo, you’ll be alright.”

— LUOCHA who would take such good care of his children whenever they were sick, he was a natural at this due to his awesome amazing medical skills! he knew exactly what to do and what to give them, he’s such a caring father it’s insane it’s fun cuz y’all don’t even have 2 go to the doctor to check what’s wrong with your kids, luocha would know what’s going on! a fever? a cold? he knows! and he’s always nursing them back to health like i said !

— LUOCHA who would teach his children about medicine, i feel like all three of his children would have different dreams they wanted to pursue but i feel like his daughter would be interested in medicine just like he is, he found it adorable how she would play with her dolls and pretend to be their doctor, it’s so adorable to see his kids pursuing different dreams and him supporting every single one of them, he’s so chill hearts emoji

— LUOCHA would try his best to be there for his kids. because he’s a merchant, he tries his best not to be absent and wants to be there in their lives :(( he wants to see his kids grow up, y’know??? he loves them sm, and he loves YOUUU <3 i bet he takes his kids out from time to time so he could make new memories with them they could carry with them for the rest of their lives, he knows life is short, yes. that’s why he’s trying to live his life to the fullest with his family, he knows one day he won’t always be there to scoop them back up from the ground to aid their injuries :((

best papa #3 welt

— WELT would be a great father, he’s a lil strict on some ends but he’s not SEVERELY strict, i think he’ll have two sons (maybe a daughter too who knows) he made a promise to himself he’ll protect his two kids until the end of time :(( his sons would have their daddy’s eyes, and some features of him too! but they mostly look like their mommy sososweet

“look, they have daddy’s eyes.”

“do they?”

“mhmmm.. look at him, he looks just like you”

(his heart is slowly starting to melt as u speak)

— WELT who would give one of the best hugs, i feel like he’s that type of dad who’s serious like half of the time but whenever he’s with his family or spending time with his sons, he’s always willing 2 show a smile or two, but back onto it! he gives the best hugs, his favourite thing to do is hug his sons and kiss the temple of their foreheads before he goes out, he may be serious and a lil strict.. but he loves his sons just as much as he loves anything else, behind that strictness he rlly does love a good hug from his sons

— WELT who would bring his wife and kids along to the astral express, it’s so cute bc imagine seeing two pudgy wudgy little babies crawling around, i bet himeko would unofficially be their godmother too LMFAO <33 when they grow into toddlers, his sons would love bothering him at work, climbing on his leg and climbing on his desk, he doesn’t mind it it’s acc so surprising how he manages to keep a straight face! and when he wants to calm them down, he just sets both of them on his lap

“settle down. let papa finish this, okay?” he would pick them up, his sons giggling as they help him work along the way (😭😭😭)

— WELT who works at the astral express a lot so he doesn’t see his kids much :(( but he always comes home to you and them with gifts and souvenirs from other worlds! his kids would always run to him and hug his leg, welt scooping them up with a smile on his face ;; AAAA SO SO SO CUTE!

“papa! papa papaaaa!”

“did you miss me?” the two boys ran to their dad, hugging his leg as welt picked them up from the floor squeezing them into a hug “i got a few things for you both.”

“what is it what is it?!”

“i want to see, papa!”

“alright alright, settle down now. it’s a surprise, you’ll have to behave and guess first.”

— WELT who would give his sons advice on how to be better people, his advice is always so firm and straightforward.. he wants them to be gentlemen, he wants them to be the best they can be! he would teach them exactly how 2 be gentlemen, he would raise his sons to be one of the most respectful and kindest ppl ever <33 when they mature and shape into those kind of ppl one day, sometimes he looks back to when he was still able to carry them around like it was nothing :(( he knows his children r growing up and deep down inside he doesn’t want them to, he truly does love and cherish his sons, he’s so glad he was able to shape his sons into good ppl just like he wanted <33

best papa #4 sampo

— SAMPO is one of the most fun and uplifting dads out of everyone, i’m calling it rn he’s a girl dad n has a daughter, i’m calling that rn! he’s such a fun dad to have, like having him as a dad means everyday is never boring, he always makes everything fun! (u cant tell me that he doesn’t love making dad jokes during dinner in the dinner table, he absolutely loves making them it’s so funny)

— SAMPO who would let his daughter do anything with him, oh she wants to play dress up? he’s putting on a dress that can barely fit him rn! she wants to have tea with her plushies? he’s already setting up the tables, she wants to put makeup on his face and nail polish on his nails? he’ll let her! he’s such a fun girl dad, always willing 2 do what his daughter wants to do :((

“stay still, daddy! i’ll mess up if you keep moving around!” his daughter would pout, holding her mommy’s makeup in her tiny little hands

“sorry princess, the brush is ticklish. gotta’ be more gentle with me, yeah? you’re grabbin’ and brushin’ at my face too roughly” he chuckled, patting her back

“sorry daddy, i just want to make you look pretty! now, still please!” she’s so sassy just like he is, but he loves her sm!

— SAMPO would be such a dumbass. first things first, he has this issue with losing his daughter from time to time at amusement parks or places in general, always finding her crying alone and having to scoop her up in his arms apologizing and showering her with kissies + second he can’t even help her with her homework from school because he “doesn’t remember doing this” he would be complaining more than her! skull emoji it would always be HER teaching him instead of HIM teaching her LMFAOO

“why’re there s’many numbers here, angel?! this is what you learn everyday?”

“do you seriously not know how to do this?” you raised a brow.

“ you can’t blame me! i ain’t ever got good grades, can’t even remember how to calculate nine times ten!”

“you’re lying.”

“.. yeah i am. but there’s so much numbers, babe! look! this is what our princess has to deal with!”

— SAMPO who would show off his daughter to everyone, bragging about her accomplishments and bragging about how lucky he is to be her father, he’s so stupid it’s hilarious he absolutely loves his little princess sm !! he never shuts up abt how much he loves her and how proud he is w how far she’s come in life, he’s just thankful to have a family that’s all :(( he’s such a sweetheart he’s always so proud and supportive hashtag girl dad

— SAMPO who probably has social media accounts dedicated to his whole family, his wife and his little angel <33 he would absolutely love posting pictures of his family all together + his family in general, his phone would be filled with videos of his daughter from loooong ago, showing her the video and teasing her about it! he almost never deletes pictures of his daughter and you from his phone, he cherishes his family sm n it absolutely shows, always vlogging from time to time n documenting his life w you and his princess <33 HES SO ADORABLE IT HURTS MY HEART ALMOST

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ravewing · 3 months

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wof infection au part 2! more under the cut; all parts will be tagged under 'fragariapathosis' 😋😋

cw for scary imagery!! creepypasta-esque stuff, disease, blood, trypophobia, body horror, et cetera et cetera. inspired by the mlp infection aus on tiktok yayy

#wof #wings of fire #wof au #wof horror #horror #infection #infection au #pike wof #flame wof #sora wof #tamarin wof #icicle wof #onyx wof #fragariapathosis #fragariapathosis storyline

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fairydustblossom · 11 months

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losing control {part 3}

azriel x reader

summary: you and azriel have been best friends for decades. giving romance a chance takes some time to figure out.

category: angst, slow-burn, friends-to-lovers (kinda)

word count: 1.8k

warnings: nudity

notes: yayy here’s part three! FINALLY i’m so sorry for the wait life got super busy,,, but grab your popcorn and get comfy cause this got angsty and dramatic real quick. let me know what you think ;) hope y’all enjoy!

{part 1} | {part 2} | {part 4} | {part 5}

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Later that night, naked limbs tangled together and shadows settled around you both, you felt calm, sated, and full again. Your chest was pressed up against Azriel’s, your body laying half on top of his, and your head tucked into the crook of his neck. One of his arms was wrapped around you, his hand resting in the intersection of your lower back, hip, and ass. His other hand was playing with the hand that was resting on his chest. Playing with the ring on your thumb and every few minutes he would give you a kiss, alternating between hand, forehead, and lips.

Once your breaths evened out, falling into rhythm with one another, you heard a sigh come out of him. Azriel was fighting an internal battle on whether to bring up his remaining concerns from earlier. It seemed like the Gwyn situation had been worked through, and he felt reassured of your feelings for him, but he still felt like you had been holding back. You had clearly been upset about something other than Gwyn, he didn’t need his spymaster abilities to figure that out. He knew you. Could read the look in your eyes, your facial expressions, your body language. He was sure of it but he did not want to break the, what felt like, fragile peace that had settled around you.

You lifted your head and stared at him. Noticing that he was thinking about something, on the verge of speaking. You waited and when nothing came from him you asked, “What's wrong?”

A few more seconds of silence before he pulled your head back down to lay on him, tangling his hand in your hair. He sighed again before saying in a soft, low voice, “I still feel like you’re holding something back... what happened with Gwyn was this morning... and I think you've been avoiding me since yesterday.. Cassian said you skipped training too, which you never do… I know you said we are okay… but you weren't okay earlier.”

The vulnerability in his voice made your resolve crumble within seconds. You always felt like you could tell Azriel everything, why would this be any different? You took a deep breath in to prepare yourself. You were ready to tell him what you wanted out of your relationship. If he didn’t want the same… well… you just didn’t know what you would do.

To avoid any form of eye contact, you scooted further into his neck and tightened your hold on him. “I guess… I guess I haven’t been okay.” His body tensed up and his grip on your waist tightened, remaining silent to give you the time needed to prepare your words.

You were finding it hard to continue voicing your feelings. You knew Azriel would feel hurt, and maybe a little scared, but you needed to be honest. You just hoped he didn’t shut you out.

“I think I need more.” Azriel pulled away to look down at your face with furrowed brows.

“What do you mean you need more?” He asked, his voice already losing its softness reserved for you and being replaced with the hardness associated with the shadowsinger.

His tone made you feel slightly panicked. You were struggling with expressing yourself and already you felt that it was coming out wrong.

“That came out wrong,” you quickly replied, skepticism filling his eyes. “I mean I just need more from us.”

At that, he sat up putting distance between the two of you. You felt exposed as his shadows left your naked body and went over to their master. Buzzing around him and starting to hide him from you, his stony face the only part of him you could see clearly.

“Y/N,” he said “What. does. that. mean?”

Azriel felt sick once again. He felt fear running through his body, an icy feeling spreading. What did you mean by that? Earlier you had reassured him that everything was okay and now you wanted, no, needed more. Were you bored? Was he not enough anymore? How could you even say that after the night you just had. He knew he didn’t deserve you, and had battled a long time with that thought, but he had convinced himself he could be enough for you. He felt like a dagger had pierced his heart, a rushing noise filling his ears. Internally, he prayed to the gods that you weren’t about to end the two of you, but worked to hide every emotion on his face, falling back to his impenetrable spymaster seriousness.

He could read the panic in your eyes. Eyes wide, mouth tightly shut as you tried breathing deeply through your nose, cheeks tinted, hair disheveled. Gods, every muscle in his body itched, begged him to move closer to you, to wrap you up in his arms and caress you until you calmed down again. But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want to be a secret anymore Az '' you finally said gaze drifting down to your hands. “It’s hard just standing there when others are flirting with you, it’s hard feeling like I’m hiding such a big part of my life from our friends, our family, it's hard to pretend we aren’t together when all I want is for everyone to know.”

His body relaxed slightly at your admission but his unease did not fully subside.

He stayed silent, unable to think of what to say. He thought you wanted the same thing he did. He wasn’t ready to share your relationship with everyone else. He didn’t fully have an answer as to why, but he felt that things would change if everyone knew. You could be used against him, he was a hated male in many lands after all. Your friends would tease the both of you. Maybe they would try convincing you of why dating him was a bad idea. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t even know how to be in a proper relationship, not after spending all his life pinning after the wrong people. The only real romantic connections he had ever shared had been secret affairs that ended before they could even properly begin. Nothing had ever blossomed the way your romance had.

The secrecy of your relationship was also a way to protect himself. He didn’t think he could survive a break up after having told all your friends. He doesn’t know how he would be able to carry on like normal after having lost the best thing to have ever happened to him in his 500 years. Keeping your relationship secret helped him keep these two realities separate. If you were to end, he could pretend nothing from his professional or social life had truly changed.

Goosebumps rose along your arms at his silence. You had been scared of Azriel’s reaction, but part of you didn’t really believe that he would reject the idea. You believed he cared for you and he reassured you with his actions everyday. So why wasn’t he responding? Did he truly not want to publicly be associated with you in a romantic way?

“Azriel?” you asked in an attempt to get an answer out of him. His unrelenting stare making you feel small and vulnerable. You wrapped your arms around yourself to cover your bare body from him.

A muscle in his jaw moved before he said “I don’t want that.”

All the different scenarios of how wrong it could go were consuming his thoughts, making him unaware of the cold and distant way in which he had just spoken to you.

Your eyes welled up with tears. “But why? Why is it so bad for our friends to know? Why don’t you want to claim me the way I want to claim you?” You were becoming more agitated with every question, his refusal to meet your eyes now as he stared at the wall behind you filling you with pain and anger.

“I’m not ready for that yet” Azriel replied, hoping that would be enough of an answer for you to understand. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation with you yet. Of course, he wanted everyone to know you were his, and only his. He didn’t enjoy watching males around Velaris trying to catch your attention, but he cherished the bubble of love and happiness you were in right now. He didn’t mind putting up with other males if it meant keeping your relationship just as it was.

“Is that all you can really say, Az?” you asked, your voice sounding weak to your ears as you tried to keep the tremble out of it.

“It should be enough of an answer” his response came with no hesitation.

The speed of his answer made the warmth that had settled around you both from earlier fully disappeared. Cold seeped into your body but before it could settle in you, you shot up out of bed, glaring at Azriel . How dare he treat you with such little regard after asking you to be honest.

“It’s not, Azriel. Not for me. Not anymore” you spat out, hoping he would put up a fight, give you a real reason as to why you were hiding from everyone. The silence you were met with made the tightness around your throat worsen. The realization that Azriel wasn’t fighting for you, or even attempting to explain himself left you feeling numb. You could see him, feel him, retreating from you. Part of you wanted to take it back, soothe him, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to. You would not let any male treat you less than what you deserved.

Azriel calmly stood up, back facing you, wings flaring in all their majesty, shadows swarming around him to cover his exposed body. He turned his head slightly to look at you.

“Then you want more than I can give you” he murmured before winnowing away.

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Back in his room, Azriels knees finally gave out. What the fuck had he just done? He couldn’t believe how he had treated you. He felt like a coward. Had he just ended things? How had he manage to fuck this up. How did his fear of losing you turn into a reality?

He didn’t know whether to scream or cry, angry tears welling in his eyes. He wanted to be enough for you. Gods, he wanted that more than anything but he knew you deserved better and he couldn’t help but think that this was for the best.

He bit his inner cheeks to keep his emotions in check. To feel any other pain than the one he felt in his chest right now. He let his shadows comfort him as he forced himself to go numb, to block all his emotions. He carried himself over to bed, and fell asleep into a deep slumber, not wanting to feel or think anymore.

taglist: @acotarxx @fall-myriad @moonlwghts @fictionalmenloversblog@kennedy-brooke@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @rebs2210

#azriel #fairydustblossom #losing control series #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azriel angst #azriel fic #acotar fanfiction #azriel fluff

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