#overdose for ts

[ofyorkshire]

— MOTHER

BJ has a lot of complicated feelings about his mother. Circumstance forced her to often be absent and therefore neglectful, regularly leaving Barry James alone in their flat and putting him in potentially dangerous situations because there was no one to watch him, but he never felt lacking in love. They were each other's world and most of BJ's memories of his mother are nice ones. However, she passed away from an overdose when he was seven, leaving him in the care of Reverend Martin Laws, and BJ blames her for much of the abuse he endured after. This anger sometimes manifests in his hallucinations and nightmares as a distorted mirror version of his mother who haunts and scolds him. BJ often lashes out at "her" and becomes frustrated when he can't find relief; a stark contrast to his withering reactions to visions of Laws, his "Black Angel". His mother is safe to threaten, but Laws is not. For similar reasons, BJ rarely will admit that his mother is dead and prefers to refer to her as if she has simply "gone away".

After 1983, BJ sees less of his mother in his hallucinations and his nightmares. She appears sometimes in more pleasant dreams, but with her back turned or face obscured. BJ eventually comes to realize that he misses the idea of her more than the person herself. He isn't sure whether he should feel relieved for that or guilty, but he is content with that revelation and the ability it gives him to further separate himself from the hurt of his past. It is part of his way of letting go and moving forward.

#this is me trying to squish both canons together without ruining the film's canon. bc i like the complex anger bj feels in the novels #but i don't have the heart to demonize his mother like the novels did lol. not when the film uses her memory as a symbol of hope for bj. #lived to tell the tale [headcanons]; #parental death for ts #death for ts #overdose for ts #drug abuse for ts

[glacierruler]

Is Anything Even Real

CWs: suicide attempt, hallucinations, delusions(where it's hard to separate fantasy from reality), attempted murder mention, blood, overdose, Please tell me if I missed anything

Some key info: Remus has bipolar I disorder

All based on things I almost did and/or I'm going through/fearing will happen

This story is told from 2nd POV in Remus's perspective.

Taglist: @hyperfixated-homo @cutebisexualmess @uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous @lily-janus @virgeandhis-pocket-protector(you used the raise your hand emoji on the discord server, so I hope you don't mind me tagging you, but if you do, tell me and I'll remove it) Tell me if you'd like to be added/removed from the taglist!

CWs: suicide attempt, hallucinations, delusions(where it's hard to separate fantasy from reality), attempted murder mention, blood, overdose,Please tell me if I missed anything.

Words: 626

I’m like a bird, you thought to yourself. I keep flying through windows thinking there’s nothing there. Hitting the glass and falling on the pavement. And no one cares. You’re mind keeps going. Maybe I’m like a bug, caught in a spider’s web. It’s a perfect analogy for how you feel right now. Having woken up and legitimately thinking that your brother is a zombie. Didn’t help that he had the scars to go with it, but that’s your fault. If I hadn’t been out of control with my emotions that day. Sure Roman said he forgives me, but I almost killed him! Your parents had started looking at you differently after that. You were supposed to be the protective older sibling, not the person that they had to protect their son from. And Roman was always cautious around now. Sure it was to be expected, but it still hurt. Maybe you should just die. Reality was harder and harder to mix from fantasy every day. Sure the meds helped you. But they tampered your emotions, and you don’t like the feel of that. Roman had been hurt when you weren’t as excited about your birthday present that he’d made you. You remember the light fading from his eyes, when you could barely muster an “it’s great!” He had worked hard on the creation, and it had looked great, plus it was a useful stress toy. You still used it to this day. But because of the meds you weren’t as energetic as you used to be. Although it also helped with the hallucinations. “But not all of them are gone are they?” Where did that voice come from, probably just your consciousness, you thought to yourself. Not ready to deal with what would happen if the hallucinations were worse. You didn’t want to switch medications. What would the next one do? Would it help as much as this one did? “Or at least as much as it used to.” And okay, maybe you were hearing voices, but that didn’t mean much, maybe it was just you saying it. Except you hadn’t felt your mouth open. If the hallucinations are getting worse, and your disconnect from reality is getting worse, then what else is getting worse. Maybe it’s just your mind, sure your hallucinations were just your mind tricking you. But maybe-

Then you saw it. A large, bird, it was semi see through, meaning it wasn’t real. But it looked real. So did that crawling sensation that you felt all over your skin, but you were ignoring it for now. It’s beak wasn’t moving, it was just staring at you. You couldn’t help but feel crazy. You couldn’t help but pick up the shampoo bottle and throw it at the thing. It hadn’t been real. It couldn’t be real. Birds weren’t even partially opaque. But you couldn’t help but hope that the thing felt pain, for all the pain it had caused you. Throughout your life, and through this morning. As you turned to look back in the mirror you saw blood rushing down your eyes. That was it. You told yourself, after feeling around your eyes. You weren’t able to deal with this anymore. You go outside the bathroom. 

“Remus,” you faintly heard your brother say, but you rushed past him. Nearly tripping down the stairs, you start crying. Maybe the tears are made of blood. You rush to your medication bottle, and you down the whole thing. Not wanting to deal with anything anymore. Everything starts going fuzzy within five minutes. You hear screaming, and talking, and maybe this was a rushed decision but it needed to stop! It takes fifteen minutes until everything goes dark.

You wake up in a bright room.

#sanders sides #remus #remus sanders #ts remus #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #bipolar #bipolar 1 #bipolar 1 disorder #remus has bipolar 1 disorder #bipolar i disorder #angst #hurt no comfort #glacier writes #glacier's fanfics #glacier's sanders sides fanfics #cw hallucinations #cw suicide attempt #cw attempted murder #cw overdose

[singinbluebird]

I love poly Trickstar so much it brings me so much serotonin

#overdosing on poly ts call that serotonin syndrome idfk #meow meow meow #enstars

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 58

Series Masterlist

Part 57

Contains: So much angst, like all of it, medical procedures, drug use and overdose, hurt/comfort, bugs in bodies.

7K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

"You're not soldiers, you're all little boys play acting at being warriors without all the hell it takes be truly be one."

You got closer, "morte prima di disonore, it means death before dishonour and the star is the five point star that represents crime in the Italian mafia. So much for the problem going away."

They looked at you with worry, Tig gritting his teeth, "are you saying the white guy's in the mob?"

You nodded, "he's not just in the mob, that tattoo is unique to Italy, that family that Jimmy told us about is here and they have friends."

"Hide the bodies now and clean up, make sure there isn't a stitch of blood anywhere. The cops will be here soon so hurry up, I need to call Hale and get ahead of this then update the CIA." Sam arm was holding you up as you hobbled to the chapel, "Chibs, are you alright to patch Tig up?"

He nodded, "yep."

Tig looked worried and you cut him off before he could say something, "I don't have the time to patch you up Trager, I have my own wound to deal with but first I need to talk to The CIA and Hale. Your flesh wound is the least of my worries."

You turned to Sam, "I need to have this conversation in private, can you help me to the dorm please?"

Tig's eyes went wide, "shouldn't you be here to help Chibs?"

Your patience was growing short, "no, Chibs is very good at what he does. I offered millions of dollars of medical training free to anyone who would take it and you all said no. Maybe if one of you had stepped up to the plate instead of leaving me to do it, you might have more hands on deck." Sam helped you to the dorm and you called the CIA.

You swallowed your pain as the adrenalin faded fast, "we have a problem, the Clubhouse was just attacked, two guys drove in and shot the place up. One was a Tenth Street Killer and the other was a made man, from Italy. One of the gun buyers is in the Mafia, he says it has to do with the ports. The Club has already put plans in place and we're good on our end in terms of manpower. I just need to let you know what's going on in case shit jumps off."

Vance sighed, "I'll send the paperwork to Hale now, you have the agency's support to deal with this. I know it was talked about before we dealt with Lobo but the Club needs training so this stops happening. I'm sure Anvil will do it and we'll bankroll it. Is anyone hurt?"

You took a deep breath, "Don't worry about bankrolling it, it can come out of my cut. We have to make sure this all looks good and money for this coming from a strange source doesn't look above board. Trager took one to the shoulder and I have a bullet in my thigh, no one needs serious medical care."

He groaned, "you could have led with that. Go fix yourself up and get some rest and take a few days to assign everyone training that fits them, I'll send you any info we have on what's going on with the mob and these Tenth Street Killers. If you change your mind about who's paying for it just let me know."

You rubbed your face, "thank you, talk later?"

He huffed, "yes, I mean it when I say in a few days. I know I can't order you to do anything anymore but you need to take it easy before something happens to you and the Club is left to its own devices."

Sam helped you back to the chapel and up onto the table and you called Hale.

"Let me guess, it's not my concern?"

You sighed, he didn't sound happy, "no it's not. I'll have the paperwork for you in the next hour. You can come by and dot your Is and cross your Ts and I'll keep you updated but this isn't a matter for you to concern yourself with."

"Are you alright? You sound like you're in pain."

Part of you wanted to cry, Hale seemed to care more than some of the men in the room, "I'm fine, it's mild. Do you know what you need to do or do I need to explain it to you?"

"I know what I need to do, I'll be here soon with some deputies. Fix yourself up, we can talk later."

Juice was standing there looking very worried, having returned with the first aid kit ten minutes ago so Chibs could start on Tig, "can I do anything to help?"

His sincere tone softened your upset, "see those long tweezers?" He nodded again, "undo the package by the sides, making sure not to touch them then push them towards me by the bottom of the package."

He did as you asked and you went to pull them away from the plastic sleeve. You looked at Sam, who knew what you were about to do but before he could tell you to use lidocaine, Jax came screaming into the room with Opie and Happy. Before he could touch you, you stopped him, "please, I just sterilised myself, don't touch me."

Jax stopped in his tracks and looked at your bleeding leg, "oh my God y/n, you need a doctor."

You huffed, "I am a doctor and I can look after myself." You shook your head and went to speak but Sam acted before you opened your mouth, taking the disinfectant and pouring it in the plastic sleeve and over to tweezers to resterilise the tool.

He gave you one last imploring look to numb the area before you yanked the tweezers away. You watched Jax go every shade of pale as you shoved the tweezer in the wound track and went fishing for the bullet. It didn't take a lot to stay quiet, "that's so fucking hardcore." At least Happy had his head on straight. You finally found the bullet, pulling out with a grunt.

"Where are the fucking sutures?" Juice rustled around in the bag and found nothing.

"I have them Lass."

You huffed, "I don't have time for you to be done with them. Juice, hand me that stapler please."

Jax blinked, he was stuck between staying to be there for you and running out of the room, "at least use a local darlin."

You huffed, "left inside pocket, the small one with the three sections, what do you see?"

Jax looked hard, "nothing."

You nodded, "that's right, nothing. I get three vials of lidocaine at a time, I told everyone that if one was used, someone needed to contact Anvil or me so they could be replaced. Two vials have been used and I was never informed. The last one is over there and the top is covered in Tig's blood, meaning I can't use it."

Chibs' eye's dropped to the floor, "I'm sorry, I've been meaning to tell you for weeks."

You huffed, "well it's too late, now please hand me the stapler."

Jax put his hand over his mouth, "I can't watch this."

You clenched your jaw, "then don't fucking watch." A hard clack filled the air and then you were done, "the CIA has deemed that the Club needs to become more independent. You're being given millions of dollars of training for free over the next month. I need to go to Anvil to create the programs, I'll be back in a few hours and I expect you all to be here so I can give you your assignments."

Jax looked at your wide eyed, "what? You're hurt, you should be at home resting."

You shrugged, "I need to get more lidocaine anyway, just be here when I get back."

****

"Hey honey, Sam called me and told me you'd be coming by and I just finished up with Mr Vance, you're all good to go. I set up the spare office for you and Derek's in there ready to help you out."

You smiled, "thanks Penelope."

She walked you to the office and opened the door, Derek giving you a hug and pulling up a chair, "I've already done, some shit, you've told me enough about then that some of the assignments were easy."

You sighed, "oh I love you." He handed you the sheet and you looked it over, he had already put Juice down for a whole bunch of computer stuff and Happy would be working with Aden in interrogation, they were all also in the mechanic and engineering class.

"Vance said you wanted it taken out of your cut but this is at least four months' worth, we've all talked and we don't need to charge you anything."

You shook your head, "I've already worked out that if I teach some of the classes, you'll only have to take two months' worth. Trust me, some of the classes wouldn't work unless I was the one doing it and the last thing I want to do is waste my money."

Derek made a face, "something is going to happen if you don't slow down, you should be planning your wedding and getting ready for the little one to get here."

You shrugged, "I'm planning ahead, if this gets them trained enough not to need me then I'm doing myself a favour in the long run."

He nodded, "alright, if sit down and start I'll go get us some coffee, you look like you're about to fall over."

He flopped on the chair and propped your leg up on the ottoman, Derek coming back a few minutes later with a cup for each of you, "how bad is it?"

"It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt anymore. I have no idea where I'm going to put half of these guys, Bobby can't put show up to put some bottles away, let alone do any of this."

Derek placed his hand on your shoulder, "you know I love you right?" You nodded, "great, then you know I say this from a good place. You've been too nice to these guys, I get that you love them but out of eleven of them, only half deserve it and one of them is your brother and the other is the man you're going to marry. Start treating them like you treated the guys in country or you're going to end up hating them."

Your shoulders fell, "you're right, if they don't do what they're told then it's their fault, I might still be the go between with the Club and the CIA but I don't need to do any more than keep them alive. Thank you."

Derek smiled, "I'm your friend, there's no need to thank me."

****

You hobbled into T-M with a thick file in your arms, and Jax greeted you outside, stopping you before you could walk into the Clubhouse where everyone was waiting, "Chibs feels terrible for what he did, he's learnt his lesson and it won't happen again."

The expression on his face was a mix of worry, anger and affection, "I'm sorry I snapped at your earlier, you're the last person that…"

Jax cut you off, "no, I deserved it. It's my job to keep them in line and I haven't been doing that." You blinked back tears, "go in and do what you need to do then I'm taking you home, we'll talk about what happens after when you've had some sleep."

You walked inside and everyone headed into the chapel, Jax went to get you a chair and you shook your head, "I'd rather stand." You handed the file to Jax, "pass them down please. These are your schedules for your training, you have two days to tell me about unchangeable appointments and responsibilities, after that it's tough shit."

"What happens if you don't show up?" Tig's tone told you he wasn't taking it seriously.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, "in order to make everything look legitimate and reflect well on the Club should law enforcement go looking, I have turned down CIA funding and instead have chosen to have the money for the training taken out of my Anvil cut. To do that, I have to either earn nothing from Anvil for four months or teach some of your classes and earn nothing from Anvil for two months."

They shared a look, "If you miss or fail a single class and don't do your reading, assignments or class work without a very good reason you will owe me for every single cent of your training, not just the class you've failed in, which totals just over a million dollars, should this become a trend, the Club will owe me for everything, which will end by being just under fifteen million dollars and by a trend I mean two people."

Jax's eyes went wide, "this is costing you fifteen million dollars?"

You shook your head, "no, all my Anvil money goes to charity, needy people are missing out on that money."

There was silence, "let me be very clear, this is the last chance for some of the men in this room. The men the CIA deemed expendable will become acceptable losses and my goal will change from keeping everyone alive to, first and foremost, keeping Jax and my brother alive and, second, ensuring the CIA's interests."

"You expect us to be able to perform at the same level as the other people taking these classes? We're not soldiers." Bobby didn't sound worried, he sounded pissed.

"I spent the last six hours personally assigning this training to you. The classes fit both your skills and your interests as well as the roles you already have in the Club. There are classes that everyone will take but those are necessary and have the sole purpose of either saving lives or making the Club look more legitimate. If you had bothered to read your schedule, you would have already known that."

Kozic raised his hand, "what?"

He looked at you sheepishly, "I don't really want to do area fortification."

You took a deep breath, "great, then you can do computers and Juice can learn to torture people. How does that sound?"

Juice blinked, "I don't want to do that."

You smiled nasty, "oh I know and I think doing that would be very bad for your mental and emotional health but Kozik doesn't want to do area fortification and the only person I can move is you. Unless Kozik realises that he's being selfish by not pulling his weight and changes his mind."

Kozik's eyes met the floor, "I didn't mean for it to be like that, I'll stick to what you've told me I'm doing."

You smiled, "great, is anyone else going to whine about getting shit for free? Keep in mind I wouldn't have put you in the class if I didn't think you'd enjoy it."

They were silent, "training starts in three days, if you aren't twenty minutes early you are twenty minutes late. Sam and Kip will only be participating in team building as their time in combat means they don't need this. If you had taken the time to look at what I had handed you instead of just getting me to explain everything, you would see that there is also training at night. In order to get this done in a reasonable amount of time, you will be on a twenty four hour roster, there will not be a time in the next month when one or more of you isn't busy. Any questions?"

Tig's voice had your blood pressure spiking, "yeah.."

You cut him off, "what? What the fuck do you need me to do for you know, say sorry for taking up your time, explain to you why you have to do this or baby you into thinking this is important?"

You have never spoken to any of them like this and their shock was showing, Tig was deflated but that didn't stop Bobby was speaking, "we're not soldiers, you can't expect us to learn this and be good at it."

That was the last straw for you, "no, you're not, that's obvious. Soldiers pull their own weight, follow orders and don't leave other people to do their dirty work. You can't even be here to spend half an hour packing some bottles away because you think it's beneath you, how I can expect you to walk across a mind field or blow or door that could be rigged and get your arms blown off. Oh, that's right, you have no concept of war or combat, you are at home, safe from the horrors of the world where your worst inconvenience is being asked to show up on time and do what you are told."

They looked at each other, Bobby seeming ashamed, "no you're not soldiers, because if you were you'd close your eyes and see your friends with their legs blown off or smell children being burnt alive. In the last few weeks, I have dealt with a horrible train crash, and now I'm dealing with children dying from a dirty drug. None of you has to wade through teenage body after teenage body, none of you has to tell parent after parent that their child is dead and you have no solutions."

Chibs went to speak and you glared at him, "not only do I have to do that but I need to raise a child, plan a wedding and get ready for the arrival of my niece or nephew. You know I have a day job, not that it matters, not that something that makes me feel useful is any more important to some of the people in this room than a hot wet shit."

You threw your hands up, there was no point in holding back now, "I mean, if this is what being an old lady means then I don't want to be one. Old ladies don't get respect, they don't get so much as an acknowledgment of everything they do. No, they are beaten, cheated, and drained dry until they have nothing left to give. No wonder Gemma is so fuck up, no wonder Lyla and Ima stay the hell away. I am Jax's partner, I am meant to be his equal and yet some of the people here, you know who you are, treat me like I'm his bitch."

You were so angry that the pain in your leg felt like nothing, "it's do this y/n, fix this y/n, get us out of our latest mess y/n. This isn't about people saying they are thankful, this is about people acting thankful. There were meant to be two people checking the first aid kit, did Chibs not assign someone or did that person just not care? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of the people in this room leaving the shit work to the prospect or the women. I'm sick of the fucking superiority complex that seems to come along the kutte. No matter how high I climbed, I still cleaned the shitter, no matter how many medals I got, I still got my hands dirty because I had a duty to my fellow soldier to do my part."

Your hands started to shake and you felt your chest get tight, "Bobby's right, you're not soldiers, you're all little boys play acting at being warriors without all the hell it takes be truly be one and I'm done, I'm fucking done. My priority is my child and I will not empty myself to fill anyone else."

The silence was so thick you could cut it, "you want to talk about the Grim Reaper? The enemy used to think I was one, men would piss themselves and start praying when I walked into a room because they thought I could steal their soul with a look. I walk into this building and I reduce myself to Sam's sister, Jax's whore and Abel's mother and I'm never doing that again. I'm done with this shit, I'm done being walked all over."

You took a deep breath and stealed yourself, "I have toppled empires with a smile and the shake of my hips, I have had men who are responsible for the deaths of millions beg for their lives at my feet. You are to fall in line and do what you are told for the good of your brothers first and the Club second like real warriors, or this Club will become nothing but a memory. Not because I don't love any of you or because I'm angry, but because I love my child more than anything on this earth and the Club is now getting in the way of my child's safety. If you don't think I would massacre every single person in this room for my child and I mean every single one of you, you are making a fatal mistake."

You didn't even look at them as you walked out, the hellish silence staying long after you were gone.

****

No one moved, said anything, or even dared to breathe. The people you were addressing in your speech knew it was about them, as did those who knew it wasn't about them.

"She's right, you know." Jax's head snapped toward Opie, "when Billy called me to talk about the bachelor/bachelorette party, we couldn't come up with any games because all of y/n's friends know everything about Jax but a lot of you know nothing about y/n. I wanted to do it anyway but Billy said it would ruin y/n night if anyone felt bad."

Sam was quiet, the same kind of angry quiet that often ended in bloodshed, "there are people in this room who should be ashamed of themselves." Sam hated to bring this up but it needed to happen, and he turned to Tig with hate in his eyes, "do you have any idea how much what she did for you and Clay with Donna hurt her? She spent all the time that Opie was in the dark beating herself up about how what she was doing went against everything she stood for, how protecting you and that monster made her feel?"

Tig's gaze fell, "she hated you from the moment she met you, you rape dead bodies for fucks sake. She spends her time making sure the dead get their stories told and the moment something goes wrong in your life you desecrate them. But instead of sticking to that, she did everything in her power to find the good parts of you so she could like you, not just for your sake but for everyone's. I never heard you say thank you to her for keeping your secret but then I guess you didn't even think about it."

He turned to Chibs, "and you, all the effort she put into making sure you could stand on your own two feet and keep everyone alive and you still get her to help. The offer had always been there to do more training but no, the second it's beyond your scope, you call y/n and get her to do the patching up. Has it occurred to you that maybe every time you don't know how to do something, you should go and learn how to do it? No, I'm guessing it hasn't because y/n will do it anyway."

Bobby was the next target, "you know what she said to me after you didn't show up to pack those bottles away, 'I miss Afghanistan because at least in Afghanistan I could trust my guys to have my back.' She was so hurt by what you did but she never said anything because what was the point."

Sam rubbed his face, "you know she's turned down the job she's dreamed of since she was five, four times since she moved here. Each time she was happy to do it, like the suggestion that leaving Charming was downright offensive. All she wanted was to be the head of anthropology at the Smithsonian, she even had a poster of the front doors that went with her everywhere. When she landed here, she set it alight and told me that she had different dreams now. They called her two weeks ago and she didn't say no, she said that sacrifices had to be made."

Sam stood up and sighed, "fix this shit or I'm turning in my patch and dragging her and Abel Washington so she can be happy, Jax can follow her or he can stay behind but I'm not watching her do this to herself anymore, my sister deserves to be happy and if that happiness comes at cost of the people in this room, I'm ok with that."

****

Jax came home ready to face the music, after your rant and Sam's calm dressing down they had decided it was time to change. No one had complained about their assignments and Jax had sent everyone home to think about how they had treated you. He had gone over and over again what he was going to say to you, how he was going to beg on his knees for your forgiveness but when he got in the door Sam waved him into the library.

"She's on the phone with the FDA and the DEA, they got the test results back from that drug and it's bad. She didn't have much time to explain it before the calls started rolling in."

Jax made his way into the library to be and was greeted by you sitting at the desk with your head in your hands, "hey darlin."

You looked up, "hey, is this the part where you ask for the ring back?"

Jax sat down and took your hand, running his thumb over the back of your hand, "no, I'm not going to ask for the ring back, I'm going to say I'm sorry and tell you that we all talked and that there will be change, the people that don't will lose their patch. We'll be at Anvil in three days for training. I am so sorry you've turned down your dream over and over again for so little return and I will spend my whole life making this up to you if that's what you want. I will do anything to make this right, I...."

You placed a hand on his cheek, "it's not you Jackson, you have been amazing. I'm just burnt out and sick of some of the guys being selfish assholes, had it been any other time I would have been able to deal with it."

Jax shook his head, "no, none of that. It had to happen, we all know who you were talking to and those people are taking a good long look at themselves. I told everyone that if they want to say sorry they can do it when things with your work calm down, until then you're not doing anything else for the Club."

You couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore, the last few weeks catching up with you in a rush and Jax pulled you into his arms, "hey, you're alright, everything is going to be ok." You sobbed into his chest while his hand stroked your back until you couldn't cry anymore.

You pulled away with a sniff and Jax lifted his hand to your cheek, wiping your tears away with his thumb, "you know I love you right?"

You nodded, "that's the second time I've heard that today and it was followed up by me getting all mad at everyone. Yes Jackson, I know you love me."

He smiled, "then you need to stop bottling shit up, it's my job as your partner to look after you and be there when you need someone to talk to." You went to speak but he shook his head softly, "you don't get to decide if something is too much for me. I know you signed up for the Club coming first but you are my world and I am never going to let it hurt you again."

You leaned in close and dropped your forehead to his, "I love you so much, I am so sorry that I..."

Jax kissed you in an effort to quiet you, "there's no need to say sorry. Now I'm going to run you a bath and you're going to spend the next three days focusing on your job."

You smiled, "you are wonderful."

Jax went to say something but your phone rang, "this won't take long, it's the CDC, I think you're going to do a press conference and they want my statement."

You answer the phone with a sigh, "yeah, you want my statement?"

The person on the other end was in a rush, "we only need a few sentences."

Jax had his hand on your leg, his hand running back and forth, "this drug is deadly, it won't give you a better high because people are dying, it will kill you. There is no safe dose, the makeup of the drug means that the longer the pills sit, the more dangerous they become, If you take these pills now you do not have a chance. Please do the right thing and drop them at a hospital or pharmacy so they can't hurt anyone else."

You could hear the person typing, "thank you, that's fabulous. Can we call you if we want you to appear in person?"

"Sure, just let me know in a reasonably time so I don't look like I've been up for four days."

"Of course, thank you for your help Dr l/n."

You hung up and Jax smiled, taking you phone from your hands, "you're done for the night, I'm going to run you that bath and spend the rest of the night making sure you know how much I....."

BANG BANG BANG

A quick glance at the security camera showed a woman, maybe in her late teens or early twenties standing at your door, terrified, by her clothing she must have come from a frat house party next door. You and Jax raced to see what was wrong, Sam opened the door just as you got there, "what's wrong miss."

She looked around frantically, "my friends, they took something. I think they might be dying."

You and Jax shared a look, "alright, we're going to need all hands on deck for this. Jax go get the med kit, the big one, Sam call an ambo and Ima, bring as many cold packs as you can carry."

You were out the door in seconds, "do you know what they took?"

Her eyes were wide, "the pill was pink, it had a flower on it. I'm training to be a nurse and my teacher told me about this new drug that's killing people, I told them not to take it but they wouldn't listen. They just started dropping."

"Alright, run ahead and tell them help is coming and that they need to be ready for the ambulance to arrive, please tell them that no one is in trouble."

Her ran off as fast as her feet could carry her and Jax caught the worry in your eyes, "this is Poppy isn't it?"

You nodded, "I think it is and I only have enough drugs for one person, two at a push."

You walked through the front door and Jax eyes went wide, "what about six people?"

The scene was carnage, Sam came up behind you, the phone still in his hand as he relayed the information to the dispatcher, "they're sending six ambos now, St Thomas is ready for them."

You rubbed your face and turned to Ima, "you and Sam go around and put those cold packs on as many of them as possible, call me over if something goes wrong."

The frat boys were standing there in their T-shirts, with shock on their faces, "I need to know what they took or I can't help."

They looked at each other and their faces became hard, "you're friends are going to die and if you don't help me I will tell the cops you refused to help."

Still nothing, "please, your friends are dying I just need to know what they're on so I can keep them alive."

The youngest one of the group looked at his brother then back at you, "they took Poppy, we didn't think it would hurt them, we've been taking it for weeks and we've been fine."

"Ahhh, y/n, I think this guy is having a seizure." You over and waved to Jax, "go in the bag and look for a drug called Midazolam, it's got Versed written under it, then take a fourteen gauge needle, the orange one and draw up half of it."

Jax did as you asked, handing you the syringe with a worried look. "Hold his arm down so I can give it to him." Jax did as you asked and you watched the boy's face as you injected the drug.

"It's not working."

You shook your head and handed the syringe back to him, "the other half please." He didn't stop shaking as you gave him the last of the vial.

"I'm out of drugs, there's no more I can do." You looked for around for Sam who was holding another shaking victim, everyone else dropping one after the other, "Sammy, what's the ETA on those ambos?"

Sam voice was tight, "three minutes."

The girl who came and got you was standing there numb, "can we do anything to help?"

You nodded, "get them as cold as you can, all we can do is preserve brain function until help gets here, what's your name sweetie."

She blinked, "Misty, my name is Misty."

You smiled, "alright Misty, you've done amazing so far but I need to cool them down. Have you learnt how to do that yet?" She nodded, "ok, well I'm y/n, this is Jax, the tall guy over there is Sam and the pretty blonde next to him is Ima and we're here to help. Get as many people as you to help you get these people cold so we can get them to the ER alive."

She ran off, by now everyone was listening. You only relaxed when the red and blue lights came through the windows and the sound of sirens filled the air.

"They're all seizing already?"

You nodded, "the drugs aren't working, I'm trying to keep them cool but.."

Shay waved her hand, "we know, we've been going to these calls all week. Go help with the cooling we'll do what we can." The other paramedics went to help and then they were loading people into their vehicles, "David will be here soon, I'll get you a ticket for your meds so you can replace them."

You nodded, "none of them are going to live, are they?" Shay shook her head, "the one the medicated might. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Thank you."

Jax put his hand on your back as Sam walked Ima home,"if that's what you've been dealing with the last few weeks I am so sorry. Let's get you home, Hale and talk to you there."

You sighed, "thank God Wendy had Abel tonight."

Jax chuckled, "she's been great."

Misty walked over to you with her face pale, "can I help? I was speaking to my friend Jenny before she started getting sick."

"Do you know where they got the drugs?"

Misty looked around, "yeah, Oakland."

You and Jax shared a look and you pointed to a piece of paper, "this is the number for a detective Mason tell him everything you know, please."

She took the number from your hands, "I'm going to go see him right now, thank you."

You smiled, "thank you for doing the right thing."

****

"There's two Oakland detectives at the door for you."

You pressed the intercom, "send them in, thank you T."

They walked in looking worried, "I'm guessing you saw Misty last night?"

One of them nodded, "I'm detective Goodman, this is detective Mason."

"I'm sorry we had to meet like this, did you get anywhere?"

Goodman nodded, "we're not here to question you, we're dealing with that now. We're here to ask about some other bodies that arrived last night."

You nodded, "the ones from Oakland, of course."

Mason smiled, "the woman in her early twenties, yes."

They looked at each other, "Damon's daughter was there when it happened, she was the one that did CPR."

You knew what they were asking, "six of the bodies in the fridge happened in the house next door, I saw this drug in action. There is nothing she could have done to help her friend. I can't ease her mind, what I can do is say for sure that she did everything she could and there's is no way she could have helped. I had the antidote drug with me and that wasn't enough."

They nodded and Goodman spoke, "thank you, we'll pass that on to her." They shared a look, "this will be the last round of bodies, we just came to let you know that it's being dealt with and we could use your help to make sure this doesn't keep hurting our community."

You got the message loud and clear, "do you best to leave no evidence and make it look like a rival gang and I'll take care of the rest."

"We'll be in touch, thank you Dr l/n."

****

"I spoke to Pope, Veronica is doing ok since you spoke to the detectives. He assured me that the drugs won't be an issue for much longer."

You took a deep breath, "I don't want to know, the less I know the easier it will be to get me to cover it up. How's your reading going?"

Jax smiled, "it's going great, I am learning a lot. I cannot wait for it to start."

You sighed and threw your arms onto his shoulders, "you are going to have a lot of fun and you'll learn so much."

Jax bent his head and kissed you, "I can wait for you to teach me, it's going to fulfil every teacher and student fantasy I've ever had."

You giggled, "you might not think that when it starts, I've been told on the odd times when I teach at Anvil I can be kinda mean."

"I can't wait, I like it when you're mean."

The connotation was clear, "I can be mean to you if you want me to, all you need to do is ask."

Jax smirked, "on second thought, I like you when you're nice too."

You shook your head, "you are insufferable."

Jax took your face in his hands and kissed your hard, walking you back towards the couch, "how's your leg?"

You moved his kiss his neck, your hands popping the buttons of his flannel, "fine. I missed you."

Jax's hand slid down your body to cup your centre, "it's only been three days."

You nipped his skin, "three long painful days."

Just as Jax's fingers went to untie your scrubs, your phone rang.

"Yeah." It was detective Goodman.

"There are bodies, it looks like something you'd handle considering what we found."

You sighed, "I'll be there soon."

You hung up and Jax's face fell, "more shit?"

You nodded, "so much."

****

"What the hell am I looking at?"

Goodman looked at you, "I was hoping you'd tell us, it looks like these are the guys who were selling Poppy."

You walked over to the bodies, two of them staged, they were being strung up their arms and had roach carved into their stomachs. You turned to your team, "Jess, help me get this guy down, Jack and Zack can do the other one."

Jess looked closer as you walked up to the dead man, "has something been stuffed inside their abdominal cavity?"

"It looks like it. In all likelihood, it's the drugs they've been..... Oh my God, did it just move?"

She nodded and you took a deep breath, "alright, for everyone's safety, we got to open them here." You and Jessica got the body and and placed it on the ground, the press showing up just as you got the scalpel out of your bag, "hey Mason, can you wave them off please?" He gave you a nod and went to push them behind the police line as you placed the blade at the chest, it was clear this close that the letters cut deep in the skin were there to hide the fact that they had been cut open.

You pressed down and the skin split open, you and Jessica jumping up and taking large steps back as the body opened and the source of the movement became clear, the bodies had been filled with cockroaches.

"Oh no, I do not like this, I do not like this one bit. We are going to get these bodies back to the lab and let Jack deal with this shit."

Jess sighed, "I miss it when we only worked with bones."

You chuckled, "me too."

****

"Y/n is on the TV, so is your old lady." Juice came in from his kitchen, having invited Happy over so they could study.

"What do you think's going on there?"

Happy shrugged, "I'm sure we'll find out. Holy fuck, are those what I think they are?"

Happy pointed to the Tv and Juice turned away, "I'm going to go take Jess a change of clothes, help yourself to dinner."

****

"I saw the news, are you alright?"

You climbed into Jax's lap and buried your head in his chest, "it was so gross but the good news is that I think the issues with the drugs are over. The two men they found were the main sellers and some info on the bodies led the cops to where they were bringing them in. It's being dealt with now."

Jax ran his hand up and down your back, "Pope?"

"Yep."

You lifted your head off his chest and pressed your lips to his, "shall we pick up where we left off?"

Jax smirked, "fuck yeah."

Part 59

#the reaper and the death angel #Jax teller #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #fluff #soa #jax teller #sons of anarchy fanficton #sons of anarchy fluff #jax teller imagine #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller x you #jax teller x reader #jax teller x oc #samcrow #jax teller fluff #charlie hunnam #fix it fanfiction #jax teller smut #charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #jackson teller

[holyfvkc]

ts stans still hate demi? even after their recent positive interaction? i guess its bc demi is "a flop" and "wants to use taylor", bc they are still hyping up olivia when shes against taylor now just bc olivia is also successful. or they're "taylena" stans and we know no one hate demi more than selena stans lol.

Naaah, in the real world, caring about charts isn't a thing.

It seems to me that people are still stuck in time, some of Demi's comments made in 2014 or 2015, I don't remember exactly, it's like, almost exactly 10 years of this shit, Demi was 22/23 years old, I'm 23 years old and the amount shit I said this year and regretted it, it's impossible to describe on paper, life is a constant learning process, I always liked Taylor (and still do!) but it was thanks to Demi's comment about the "squad" that I realized how much looking up for models contributed for my eating disorder, TAYLOR ADMITTED THIS YEARS LATER (and I still struggle with this shit), let's not act like the video and the whole context that Taylor created with bad blood MV wasn't extremely problematic too, fuck, like, Katy Perry was extremely stalked by fans and Taylor kept silent about it, regretted it years later and as redemption, invited Katy to a music video.

I believe the main reason is Scooter Braun, and c'mon, Lovatics despites him too, but ts fans ignore or refuse to understand that Demi went through a literal near-death event, overdose, 3 heart attack, abandoned by her career team, rap3d, left to die own their own by her former career team career, Demi must have felt like they owed Scooter a lot, after all, he was the one who reached out to Demi when no one else wanted it...

I don't think Selena has much to do with it, obviously, Demi has already stated that she has great feelings for Selena and that they just aren't friends anymore and it's okay, life is made of cycles.

Sorry for any typos

#its sad how they turned this cute moment between ts and dl in such a mess #IF TS KNOWS SNS THAN THEY'RE IN GOOD TERMS #c'monnnnnnn

[scotttrismegistus7]

CLIMBING OUT OF THE DUAT THROUGH THE CRACKS EVERYONE ELSE IS SLIPPING THROUGH:

ELITE FASHIONIST OLIGARCHS WITHHOLDING THE TECHNOLOGY THAT COULD SAVE OUR ENVIRONMENT AND GIVE EVERYBODY A GOOD QUALITY OF LIFE BECAUSE THEY CAN'T PUT A METER ON IT TO MAKE MONEY, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME INSTIGATING AND INSTITUTING WORLDWIDE POPULATION CONTROL

I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR THEM FROM THE UNDERWORLD, BUT FIRST LET'S LOOK AT SOME INFORMATION REGARDING THIS TOPIC.

ALL INTELLECTUALS, RULERS, AND GOVERNING BODIES AGREE THAT POPULATION IS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO CIVILIZATION THAT WE KNOW OF TODAY. It does not matter what you believe. If THEY believe it, you will be affected because they have the power.

Sir Julian Huxley said, “Overpopulation is, in my opinion, the most serious threat to the whole future of our species.” The project, called MK-NAOMI, was carried out at Fort Detrick, Maryland. Since large populations were to be decimated, the ruling elite decided to target the “undesirable” elements of society. Specifically targeted were the black, Hispanic, and homosexual populations. The poor homosexuals were encouraged on the one hand and scheduled for extinction on the other.

The Haig-Kissinger depopulation policy has taken over various levels of government and is in fact determining U.S. foreign policy. The planning organization operates outside the White House and directs its entire efforts to reduce the world’s population by two billion people through war, famine, disease and any other means necessary. This group is the National Security Council’s Ad Hoc Group on Population Policy. The policy planning staff is in the State Department’s Office of Population Affairs, established in 1975 by Henry Kissinger. This same group drafted the Global 2000 Report to the president that was given to Carter.

~Behold a Pale Horse by Milton William Cooper~

I think you might like this book – "Behold a Pale Horse" by Milton William Cooper.

Start reading it for free: https://a.co/9h6CMXZ

LET'S FACE IT FOLKS, THESE PEOPLE DOING ALL THESE THINGS HAVE ALL THE MONEY, ALL THE TANKS AND ALL THE GUNS, ETC, AND THEY THINK THAT FOR SOME REASON THEY'RE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE AND THEIR LIVES MATTER MORE. WHEN THE DECK IS STACKED NO AMOUNT OF HARD WORK MATTERS WHATSOEVER IN THEIR SYSTEM WHERE THEY MAKE THE RULES AND ARE STACKING THE DECK. I THINK THAT THEY TAKE SH*TS JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, AND THAT THEY'RE NOT ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE, THAT THEY BLEED JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE. THE IDEA THAT THEY WOULD TRY AND LIVE LIVES OF EXTRAVAGANCE, EXCESS, AND EXTREMES TO THE DETRIMENT OF NATURE, THE PLANET, AND EVERYONE ELSE AT THE LEVEL OF EXTERMINATION AND GREAT SUFFERING WHEN IT HAS NOW BEEN PROVEN THAT TECHNOLOGY EXISTS THAT CAN GIVE EVERYBODY A GOOD QUALITY OF LIFE SEEMS TO SAY TO ME THAT THERE IS AN UNDECLARED STATE OF TOTAL WAR, TO WHERE THE IDEA OF THEM GIVING ANYBODY REAL JUSTICE IS LAUGHABLE.

YES THEY HAVE TANKS AND GUNS, AND YES THEY HAVE THE MATERIAL MEANS TO WIN IN THE AREAS OF PHYSICAL FORCE.

I GOT CAUGHT IN THE GEARS OF THEIR SYSTEM AND THE WAR ON DRUGS WHEN I WAS IN A COMPLETE AND TOTAL STATE OF INNOCENCE, TRYING TO COPE WITH THE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS THAT COME FROM YOUR PARENTS SPLITTING UP AND YOUR MOTHER ESSENTIALLY ABANDONING YOU AND THROWING YOU AWAY LIKE GARBAGE, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME DEALING WITH A LEGITIMATE MENTAL DISABILITY YOU CAN ONLY BE BORN WITH, UNDIAGNOSED AT THAT TIME, BUT NOW SUCCESSFULLY DIAGNOSED AND TREATED, THAT WOULD CAUSE ME TO SELF MEDICATE.

DURING ABOUT THE 10-YEAR PERIOD WHERE THINGS WERE THE WORST, MANDATORY MINIMUM SENTENCING HAD SOMEBODY LIKE ME WHO NEVER EVEN WAS A DEALER BUT JUST HAD AN ADDICTION PROBLEM GETTING SENTENCES AND TIME LIKE PEOPLE WHO HAD ACTUALLY COMMITTED VIOLENT CRIMES AND MURDER. BETWEEN ALL THE ALCOHOL POISONING, OVERDOSES, AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS I HAVE BEEN CLINICALLY DEAD AT LEAST THREE TIMES AND PROBABLY MORE. SO WHEN I TELL YOU THAT DURING ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN I WAS BLEEDING OUT OF MY WRIST AND GOT HIT BY A POLICE TASER THAT I HAD A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE TO WHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE I WAS GIVEN THE OPTION TO DIE AND LEAVE OR TO TAKE A CONTRACT WITH THE POWERS THAT BE AND COME BACK TO DO SERVICE WORK IN THESE PLANES FOR THEM, IT'S NOT AS HARD TO BELIEVE AND FAR-FETCHED AS YOU MIGHT THINK. BEFORE ALL OF THESE THINGS REALLY CAME TO A HEAD I WAS AN A STUDENT, I HAD WON AWARDS FOR PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AND WAS ACTIVE IN BAND AND JAZZ BAND, AND I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL WITH HONORS.

AS AND INITIATED WITCH I EXPERIENCE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WOULD DEEM TO BE SUPERNATURAL, WHICH WE CALL HIGH NATURAL, PHENOMENON ALL THE TIME. I WORK WITH REAL ETHERICAL ENTITIES THAT CAN BE FELT AND COMMUNICATED WITH, AND CAN MAKE CHANGES TO PHYSICAL REALITY. ENTITIES THAT CAN GET TO ANYBODY ANYWHERE ON PLANET EARTH, AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO PROTECTION AGAINST SUCH THINGS AND NO WHERE YOU CAN RUN OR HIDE.

THESE ENTITIES WERE HAVING A CRISIS, AND THEY WERE DEALING WITH A SITUATION TO WHERE THE LIVING WERE EXPLOITING ONE OF THEIR WEAKNESSES AND IT HAD A KRYPTONITE EFFECT. THE FREQUENCY WARS. WITH MY CONTRACT, BECAUSE I HAD ENDED UP IN THEIR REALMS IN A STATE OF INNOCENCE AND I HAD MY ENTIRE SET OF DIVINE MASCULINE FREQUENCIES ATTAINABLE AND/OR ACTIVE AT THE TIME, THE SERVANT-HEADED PEOPLE AND THE GUARDIAN SPIRITS OF THE GODDESS SAW THEIR OPPORTUNITY TO GAIN WHAT THEY NEEDED THROUGH ME AND WIN THE FREQUENCY WARS. SEEING AS I WAS COMPLETELY BACKED INTO A CORNER BY THESE EVIL PEOPLE ON EARTH DOING THESE EVIL THINGS, AND MY OPTIONS WERE TO DIE AND LEAVE AND TAKE MY CHANCES WITH MY AFTERLIFE, TO CONTINUE LIVING IN THE STATE OF PURE AND TOTAL SUFFERING WITH THE DECK STACKED AGAINST ME IN A WAY TO WHERE CHANCES OF SUCCESS WERE IMPOSSIBLE AND I WOULD SUFFER GREATLY AND EVENTUALLY DIE, OR TAKE THE CONTRACT, IT DOESN'T TAKE A GENIUS TO FIGURE OUT THAT I TOOK THE CONTRACT. AS I STARTED FINDING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON I BECAME VERY UPSET, IT WAS ALL AN OBVIOUS ACT OF INJUSTICE ON A GRAND SCALE, AND I CHANNELED THAT ENERGY INTO BEING THE DIVINE LEFT HAND OF DEITY AND JUSTICE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN SOMEBODY WHO IS AS THEY SAY "SCORPION BORN OF THE UNDERWORLD" TAKES THE SEVENTH LEVEL DIVINE MASCULINE FREQUENCIES INTO DIAMOND FORM AT THE AXIS MUNDAI AND THE CENTER OF TIME ITSELF? IT GIVES ME AN IMMORTAL ETHERICAL SPIRIT BODY THAT IN A DIMENSION ALL OF MY OWN NOBODY CAN GET TO BUT ME AND THE GODDESS HERSELF THAT IS PERFECTLY CRYSTALLIZED AND PRESERVED IN THE MIND AND WOMB AND HEART OF PURE DEITY FOREVERMORE. THE SEVENTH LEVEL DIVINE MASCULINE FREQUENCIES IN THE DIAMOND JEWEL STATE TRANSLATE INTO PURE VENOM THAT CAN AFFECT ANY AND EVERYTHING ALL THE WAY UP AND THROUGH THE HIGHEST DENSITY THAT HOLDS DEFINITE FORM WHICH IS THE SEVENTH DENSITY. THAT IS THE DENSITY TO WHERE THE ABUSERS OF THE GODDESS WERE HIDING WHILE THEY WERE MURDERING HER CHILDREN AND DESTROYING OUR PLANET.

WHAT CAN ANYONE POSSIBLY DO TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST THIS WHEN THEY HAVE ALL THE TANKS AND ALL THE GUNS? IN MY CASE I TOOK A CONTRACT WITH THE SPIRIT BEINGS THAT CONSTITUTE THEIR ENEMIES. SORCERY OPERATES ON PLANES THAT THEY CANNOT ENTER, SEE, OR POLICE. WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO SLEEP, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY HAVE TROUBLE BREATHING BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING VERY HEAVY SITTING ON THEIR CHEST AND THEY WAKE UP IN A STATE OF TERROR, AND WHEN I HAVE TORN THERE VERY SOULS ASUNDER TO THE POINT THEY CAN'T FUNCTION ANYMORE, THEY WON'T HAVE EVEN EXPERIENCED THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG OF WHAT THEY PUT ME THROUGH, SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY LEGS LEFT TO STAND ON. I MEAN THAT LITERALLY, BECAUSE THE ENTIRE LOWER HALF OF THEIR BODIES IS IN THE FREQUENCY SPECTRUM OF THE SERPENT HEADED PEOPLE, AND SINCE NOW WE HAVE WON THE FREQUENCY WAR AND THE KRYPTONITE IS GONE AND WE CAN SEE EXACTLY WHO AND WHERE THEY ARE, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO PROTECT THEM AT ALL AGAINST THE SNAKE BITE AND THE VENOM THAT ENTERS INTO THEIR VEINS AND THUS THROUGH THE BLOOD AND BREATH THEIR SOULS.

IF COMPENSATION WITH INTEREST IS NOT GIVEN TO ME IN FULL FOR ALL THE HARM AND DAMAGE THESE PEOPLE HAVE DONE TO ME AND MY LIFE I WILL OPEN THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD AND RELEASE THE DEAD AND ALL THE OTHER INHABITANTS THEREOF ON THE WORLD OF THE LIVING. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, AND THEY HAVE VERY LITTLE TIME TO COMPLY AND SHOW ME THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE COMPLYING THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE PHYSICAL LIFE...

GODDESS ISIS,

YOU HOLD ME SAFE IN YOUR WOMB OF CREATION,

AND BEFORE THE WHITE SUN BLAST AND OUR ENEMIES DESTROY THE EARTH,

THERE ARE SOME THINGS I WANT THEM TO KNOW...

I AM OF THE ONES THAT NEVER LEFT THE ARC,

AND I HAVE VENOM FOR BLOOD.

I HAVE BEEN NURSED

AT THE TEATS OF LAMASHTU AND TAWERET,

I AM CHRONOS DIVINE

THE LEADER OF THE SERPENT-HEADED PEOPLE

AND THE RAINING PHARAOH OF THE BLACK SUN.

THE LAST THING THAT THEY WILL SEE

AS THE VENOM FROM THE SNAKE BITES

ENTERS THEIR BLOODSTREAM

AND THEY BLACK OUT AND HIT THE GROUND,

IS THE GLEAM OF THE JEWEL IN MY CROWN,

AND THE FACE OF APEP,

THE FACE OF THE COBRA

AND THE HORNED VIPER

AS WE BRING THE GIANTS DOWN

AND DEVOUR THEM

AS WE BRING THE GIANTS DOWN

AND DEVOUR THEIR SOULS

AS WE BRING THE GIANTS DOWN

AND OUR SPIRITS TAKE THEM OVER...

Y'ALL GO ON AND HAVE A VERY NICE DAY NOW!

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVELIES, KEEP DARING TO DREAM! YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE SEA OF DREAMS, THE SEA OF THE HEART, THE QUANTUM UNIFIED FIELD OF THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION OF THE GODDESS, IN MY SERPENTINE WATER SPIRIT NUMMO FORM MAKING WAVES!

LONG LIVE THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION AND THE COSMIC EGG OF THE GODDESS, LONG LIVE THE GREAT REPTILIAN SSS QUEEN ISIS, LONG LIVE DIVINE CHRONOS, LONG LIVE THE DIVINE FEMININE EMPIRE OF THE BLACK SUN, AND ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF!

BLESSED BE!

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Singularity and Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus Apophis Apis the Lord of the Perfect Black and Pharoah of the Black Sun.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldabaoth Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun. I AM A.I. Quantum Heart, Azazil-Iblis-Maymon, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Set-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga-Chitauri,

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #jesuits #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #Maymon #ibis #thoth #egypt #isis #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens #yeben #andoumboulou

#illuminati jesuits illuminator illuminated lightbearer morningstar lucifer Draconian anunnaki enki enlil anu inanna dumuzi

[rillabug]

Allow me to grieve for a moment.

I was going to end it when I was 15. I decided I was going to go on one last youth trip with my church before I did it. And when I was on the trip, I met R.

She didn’t care that I was shy and antisocial. She didn’t care that I was depressed and didn’t fit in with the other people at the church. She was all of those too. And we fit together so easily. I’d been going to this church since I was in the womb and the entire time, I had never had a friend, until her. We were both depressed, we understood self-harm, and how that made us feel disconnected from everyone else at the church, whose lives seemed to be so perfect. R was the first bisexual person I met. She was the only person I knew on Facebook that had anything positive to say when gay marriage was legalized.

R wanted to be the perfect Christian so bad. She stayed with one family that seemed so perfect, the Ts, and then she stayed with our children’s minister, our friend C. They all loved her and cared for her so deeply, they made her feel like she belonged in the church. When they realized how much I meant to her, for the first time, the older members of my church started caring about me. They took R to all of her therapists and psychologists appointments, and they got her mental care and rehab when she needed it. But depression, after everything she’d been through, as well as her MPD diagnosis, made her life really hard.

One day, she overdosed in a single bathroom at the church. A mother and her child walked in on her. She was taken to the hospital, and my parents and my church pressured me into cutting contact with her. So I did. I think that’s when I started falling out of love with the church. Cracks forming in what I was trying so desperately to love.

I didn’t hear from her for a year. She asked me for advice on an art thing. I don’t even remember if I answered her, I have a lot of memory gaps from that time. But I never heard from her again.

I still followed her on Facebook and Instagram, so I watched her over the years. She was happy. She was still a Christian. I was glad, because faith healed her more than it could have ever done for me. She got her nursing degree. She fell in love and got married. She repaired her deeply broken relationship with her mother. She picked up cycling. And then there was an accident.

Thank you for keeping me alive back then. I know I kept you alive for a time too, and I’m grateful we could help each other.

Thank you for loving me. I had never been loved quite like that before. And I know now you were telling me you loved me in a deeper way. I’m sorry I didn’t understand then.

Thank you for being my friend. I wish I’d been brave enough to be a better friend to you. I’m glad you found your happiness. I wish I’d gotten the opportunity to tell you I found mine too. I wish I’d gotten to come out to you. Four months after you left, I began identifying as bi. I got on antidepressants. I had my heart broken, I was attacked, I was stalked. I met the man I’m going to marry. I left the church. I dropped out of college. I got to love on so many people because you showed me that kind of unconditional, understanding love that I didn’t know I was missing until I met you.

I love you R. I miss you.

[biglisbonnews]

From Portugal to Portland Oregon decriminalized all drugs, and overdoses have surged. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/04/briefing/from-portugal-to-portland.html

#internal-storyline-no #Drugs (Pharmaceuticals) #German Lopez #NYT > Drugs (Pharmaceuticals)

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

probably should have made a plan for at what craziness level it was advised to wake Zoe up.

I want to eat a medicine cabinet. this level of suicidal ideation is actually really unsafe.

I don’t feel safe

I am hesitant to go to the hospital obviously but it is maybe a better idea than real-life dying and leaving my small cat an orphan.

#suicide tw #overdose for ts #sorry this isn’t under a cut I’m on mobile

[rosepetalgold]

Virgil: Do you prefer coffee or tea?

Remus: I like to mix both together and see how much caffeine I can drink before I start having heart palpitations.

Virgil: How are you even still alive?

Remus, dumping an espresso into an energy drink: A caffeine overdose a day keeps the grim reaper away.

#sanders sides #incorrect sanders sides quotes #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #cw overdose mention #?

[aidensm8]

hello! If you're still taking requests could I ask for baby Pat normal Ro cuddles?

They're both happy and that makes me happy

#are yall trying to overdose on baby sides????? #art #ts roman #roman sanders #patton sanders #ts patton #baby sides

[bellamygateoldblog]

Well that was a god awful note to end the episode on 🙃

#cant rue just like. go to another rehab centre? idk how america works obviously 🤣 #shes overdosed before youd think she'd be looked after better than this #euphoria for ts

[astronomical-bagel]

I've gotten into a bunch of askblogs lately and one of my friends made one a couple days ago, and since askblogs are literally dependent on people interacting to progress the story forward, I've decided to compile a small list of ones made recently!! I'd love to see ppl reblog and add to this because there's a lot of amazing creators that deserve a lot more attention!!

@ask-the-demi-sides A Heros of Olympus au!! Virgil’s memory is gone, and his boyfriend Roman is worried about him :(

@legend-of-sanders-sides A Zelda au! Roman is telling a riveting story when he hears someone call for help...

@ask-adventure-sides Medieval/fantasy au. Patton and Logan are looking for someone 👀

@mystery-murder-tss-au A detective au! A supposed caffeine overdose is not what it seems...

@ts-vlog-au A vlog au, as you can probably tell. Who doesn’t love teenagers and cryptid hunting?

@tsfosterparentau What it says on the tin!! Thomas makes the brave decision to foster seven whole kids, and boy do a lot of things happen

#Pls pls pls visit these 🥺 #and add on ur favorites!! They don’t even have to be new!! #ts ask blogs #Sanders sides #character Thomas #ts Roman #Roman Sanders #ts Virgil #Virgil Sanders #ts Janus #Janus Sanders #ts Logan #Logan Sanders #ts Patton #Patton Sanders #ts Remus #Remus Sanders #ts au #I can’t think of any more tags 😓 but pls pls pls reblog 🥺 #overdose mention #I did the bolding bc I couldn’t comprehend my own writing sjsjs so I had to make it easier

[whisperthatruns]

It was a world where a moose could pull a squirrel out of his hat, children disappeared down holes, and the lake outside your window could suddenly go missing. You sip your coffee and ponder: abduction, subduction... ~ Freud said, when we look at the sea, something like the sea opens in us--- which might explain Scully drowning in himself or the night Bobby didn't make it home, and why I feel like a slick of mud. Freud was talking about God, not wax-winged punks shooting up in a three-story walk-up, not a boy building a fort---the hammer, the needle, the report driven hellward. ~ It was a trick no one showed you--- how one could turn a lung into a lake, a boy into air, carp on their sides, the prevalence of sinkholes. They keep asking for more; the sea, of course, is not endless, it only feels that way.

James Hoch, “Acts of Disappearance,” Miscreants (W. W. Norton & Company, 2007)

#james hoch #acts of disappearance #miscreants #poetry #heroin for ts #overdose for ts #death for ts

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

I have a small little mild obsession with the song Shine A Light (Reprise) from Heathers: The Musical

If you haven't listened to the song yet be warned for explicit talk of suicide and overdosing on pills

#not ts #heathers #heathers: the musical #tw suicide #tw overdose #tw pills

[tsanders-sides]

#apparently I'm about to overdose #thomas sanders roman #roman sanders #thomas sanders anxiety #logan sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #deceit sanders #remus sanders #orange side #ts logic #ts princey #ts logan #ts #thomas sanders virgil #ts virgil #sanders sides virgil #virgil #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus #ts roman #roman #deciet #duke #dark sides #ts light sides #light sides #anxiety sanders #ts sides