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imagine-shenanigans · 5 months

Text

Hands on my knees.

Now I'm thinking of an au because of the nasty coworker soap hidden camera thing. AU where some prick you slept with left a hidden camera in your apartment for a live stream on the dark web (shut up i know its cliche let me live) and its a 24/7 stream of your bedroom with audio.

And one of the boys is a frequent viewer, watches a stupid amount of the time they're on leave. Eats dinner while watching their favorite show, etc etc.

(Dark stuff and NSFW ahead warning.)

Soap is the one who is the most impulsive about it. He's the one who feels guilty about it until he covers his own hand in his cum while watching you play a game on your phone. It's an insatiable need at this point. Can't cum without thinking of the bonnie little thing on his computer screen. You said the word Soap out loud once while talking to a friend on the phone or going through a list and he came so hard he saw stars. Went back and clipped the audio, he has it saved on his phone with other words, just so he can hear you say his callsign. He feels just a little guilty after he cums to you doing stretches.

But that's the allure of it, the taboo, knowing he's a fucking freak but doing it anyway. And god does he love it. Honestly the guilt fades REALLY quickly when he realizes how long the camera has been there, bordering on months. Such a poor thing you are, so vulnerable, so sweet. You just need someone to protect you from the nasty men in this world. Need someone even nastier to do it.

He makes the impulsive decision to go to the pub you mention on the phone with a friend. He waits until you're just a little drunk and "accidentally" bumps into you. Makes himself as charming as possible, smiles and laughs with you, until youre bringing him into your home. He positions you just right so the camera can see (he's recording the stream at home) and makes you as loud as possible, tongue laving over your inner thighs, leaving searing bites anywhere he can reach like he's claiming you.

(He is.)

He makes sure the camera gets a perfect shot of him cumming inside of you without protection. Hooks his fingers into your mouth so you can't stop the sounds you're making. He licks the drool from your chin and up into your mouth. Spends hours making you cum your brains out when he's not using you, well past the point of overstimulation by the time he settles, leaving you a hiccupping and sobbing mess as he rubs soothing cream over you, cuddling you to his chest so that this time, the camera can't see you at all.

He gives a peace sign to the camera after you fall asleep, and says "Alright ye bloody animals, shows over." before breaking the thing. Shoves it in the middle of your kitchen garbage before washing his hands and crawling back into bed with you. He sets up a new camera by the next morning, this one just for himself.

(and, if he releases clips of you two fucking online, that's between him and the rest of the god forsaken fucks on there.)

Price is shameless about watching you.

He knows he's going to hell, what's one more sin along the way? He indulges himself far more than any of the others. The silence gets to him when he's on leave, and what better way to fill it than with a pretty/handsome thing going about their life? He spends pretty much every waking and sleeping minute with his laptop open to your feed, watching you go about your day. It's mostly mundane, really, sick in nature but not a sexual thing for the most part. Of course, he gives his cock slow, languid strokes when he watches your hips eagerly buck into the vibrating toy you're using, whimpers falling from your pretty lips that John just wants to swallow whole. Too impatient for your own good, you need to be held down and edged for a good hour.

It's that thought that sends him spiraling.

How much better oof you'd be if you just had him to take care of you. Such a shame a nasty, terrible man put a camera in your room - he'll fix that.

He ends up moving into the flat/house next to yours when it mysteriously comes available. He really wants a cute little spouse to come home to - really wants to sit them on his cock until theyre crying and begging him to move. (And if he can get them to call him daddy, well, wouldn't that be a sight?)

He takes the longest out of all the boys, ends up being the model neighbor, coaxes you out like a feral little animal until you're spending more time in his place than your own. He hates that so many people (mainly men, his main issue is the men) can see you at any given time. Can take what should be his. So he waits until you're out for work one day and he uses the spare key you gave him (so trustingly, honey you shouldn't give things to strange men like him. He'll bend you over his knee until you learn your lesson.) and he sneaks into your room and moves the camera just a bit after disabling it. Just enough so its more noticeable in the light.

(If he steals a pair of panties, well... he does.)

And when you come crying and shaking to his doorstep later, he breaks the thing in his hand, and chucks it before he ushers you into his place and coos at you as he fingers you in his lap, edging you as you work through all those big emotions :( Poor baby, he's got you now, no need to be so scared, he'll get you nice and needy and then fuck you until you're brainlessly drooling into his pillow. He'll even be so kind as to slip his ring on your finger too, just to make sure you know he's not going to let anyone else have you anymore. That he'll make sure you're safe from now on, isn't that nice pumpkin?

Gaz I'm still trying to figure out how to write but I think he'd see the stream by accident, he's not gone looking for it, and he feels sharp revulsion when he figures out what it is while looking for some other information. And he's taking note of all of the things in the room, desperately trying to piece together where you live so he can do the right thing and figure out how to tell you about the stream. Definitely not because he's interested, and sure it's taking him a few days and repeated visits and- well, okay, you have this cute thing you do and- okay he's not... well he knows he's being a creep, but he's doing it for the right reasons. Totally. He's not... he's not being weird for no reason like some of these other creeps. And yeah, okay, he jacks off to you now and then, it's not that big of a deal, he's a little lonely and he's a little desperate okay?

He tells himself he's gonna quit, that he's not going to do anything, but then suddenly he's in your town on his leave, and he's putting himself in your path at every given opportunity. Of course, by then he's long since accepted he's being a real fucking freak by what he's doing, but doesn't he deserve something nice? Don't you?

And sure, okay, it's a huge ego boost when you do look at him and flush, when you try to collect your thoughts when you hear his voice. He smiles prettily at you and it all sort of spirals from there, until he's well and truly charmed you. He drops hints about the camera, but nothing directly implied. He finds a story on the news app on his phone about something similar and cringes, pretending like he isn't STILL watching the live feed of your apartment when he's in his own. Says something about how only a real freak would put a camera in someone's house. Good thing you've never done that to his place and he laughs, because he's never been to yours yet so you take it as a joke.

Weeks later, when you're doing a clean of your apartment, you find the camera and call him, and he comes over and hugs you, coos that it's probably not even plugged in, just some dick trying to scare you. He helps you run through who it could possibly be that did it, until he's given the dude's full name and address online.

He gives the camera a shit eating grin over your shoulder, looking directly into it even though you haven't pointed it out yet.

He presses a kiss to your forehead and offers you stay at his place for the night (when he really means forever.) He makes sure there's no cameras around you ever again.

Ghost is... the worst of them. In his own special way.

Assuming he isn't the one who put the damn thing in your room, he's definitely a regular on some of the grossest sites known to man, half out of sheer morbid curiosity, and half because he sometimes does end up finding things he likes. Your stream isn't the first he's watched, but it is the first he stays for. There's something about you that mesmerizes him. He ends up visiting the stream more and more until he's pieced together where you live and what your general schedule is. It takes a few months, but he wants you for himself - nothing else will do.

There's no preamble, no game that's played like the others. He forges a passport and documents and gets everything set up, and you don't even know that you're about to go tumbling into his net. He's quick about it, when he gets into your apartment. Ends up tying you up nice and neat, arms behind your back and ankles to your thighs while you sleep. Leaves the gag for last, just for the thrill of you screaming (so he can punish you) when you wake up. He blindfolds you, and moves the camera for a better view before flicking the lights on. He wakes you up with a slap to your ass, feeling himself grow hard as you panic. He cuts your clothes off with a knife, tells you not to squirm, and when you do and he knicks you, he just tuts and tells you that you shoulda known better.

Licks the blood from your skin with his mask rolled up before he pulls it back down (just a plain balaclava). He ends up hoisting you up so you're on your knees, positions you perfect for the camera to see, and fingerfucks you nice and fast, one hand on your throat to keep you upright, the other pitoning in and out of your hole. He makes sure to hit your g-spot/prostate every single time when he finds it, sets an absolutely brutal pace that has your tears leaking through the blindfold. When you get close, he bullies your clit/cock, moving fast and hard until you're screaming and you collapse. He tells you this is your fault, for trusting some prick and not even checking your own home.

Lines his cock up with you and doesn't prep you any further, only one orgasm and a little bit of finger fucking not nearly enough to prep you for what he's packing. He ends up fucking you hard, and fast, and brutal, still pumping your cock/rubbing your clit through the whole thing, not caring for anything but how you cry and squeeze so tight around his cock. He lets you heave sobs when he finally cums inside, no protection, and he pinches your nipples painfully hard to get your attention. When he's sure he's got it, he warns you not to let him drip out of you. Never tells you to stop crying, but tells you if you scream or try and get away, you will not like the punishment. He takes the gag out and you try to wriggle away, so he puts the gag back in while you try and apologize, ask for a second chance, and he just puts you on the floor, angles the camera just so, and takes the blindfold off. He tells you exactly how long he's been watching, how many people he sees in the stream at any given time, and then he ties a vibrator to your clit/cock and sets it on the highest setting it can go. He tells you to give the boys a good show before you retire from your acting career, and presses a kiss to your forehead through the mask.

He gives you an hour alone with your fans while he packs your stuff into the boot of his rental car.

#soap cod #ghost cod #cod #price cod #gaz cod #dark fic #mod strawberry #strawberry writing #if theres any mistakes no there isnt close your eyes #i typed half of it on mobile during work until i got too worked up and i had to set my phone down #smile emoji #im mentally unwell teehee sparkles

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l3viat8an · 6 months

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Rooo!!! I have Levi brain rot rn, and I need to share Grand Admiral! Levi thoughts with u :/

As an important figure in the military, Levi has to go out sometimes to check up on the outskirts bases of the Devildom. Make sure that everything is working as they should.

This usually lasts for weeks, and today you had found out how long 2 weeks can feel when your loser gamer boyfriend is out on assignment.

Finding solace in his uncharacteristically empty room, you cuddle up in the bathtub bed, desperate to feel anything that reminded you of your beloved player 1. Using his favorite jacket, watching replays of his old streams, sleeping in his bed, that's slowly losing his scent and feel.

But one day, while curled up in his gaming chair, rewatching his old clips for the thousandth time. Levi comes home. Still in his uniform as he marched into his room, not expecting to find his PC on.

Once you realized he was there, you quickly jumped into his arms, peppering kisses all over him. When you pull away, you expect to see the usual sight; Leviathan a blushing mess, stammering about something you can't quite make out. But now, he wasn't blushing at all. He barely changed his stoic demeanor.

"L-levi...?"

You asked confused, removing yourself from his embrace to look at his attitude. Giving a hurt look as you basically pouted. Throwing a small tantrum that he didn't miss you at all

Unbeknownst to you, Levi was freaking out. After weeks out on field he just wanted to sleep and go back to his shut-in lifestyle. What he didn't know was that what he needed was to see his player 2 dressed in his jacket. Being an adorable tsundere as she pouted.

"On the bed, and strip. Leave the jacket on"

Levi commanded, looking serious as you stood there. Shocked at his words.

"E-excuse me?"

"Did I stutter? Strip, on the bed."

"W-wait–"

Shocked and confused, You stood their unsure of what to do. And why the hell that turned you on so much

It wasn't the first time Levi was in control, but he was usually so sweet and gentle. Not this... demanding. You're not sure if it's the uniform, the attitude, or the fact it was Levi being so assertive. But you followed without hesitation.

And you're so greatful that you did, because the two weeks waiting for him were quickly rewarded. Levi being as merciless with you as he took what he wanted. Leaving you a blushing mess, passed out in his bed, as for the first time in two weeks, you slept with him again on his bed.

The next day, he profusely apologized at how rough he was, while all you could think about was when could you bring that side of him out once more

(AHHH IM SORRY FOR GOING ON FOR SO LONG BUT I NEEDED TO SHARE IT SO BADLYYY 🙏 IDK IF THIS IS SMUT OR FLUFF BUT I JS LOVE HIM AHHHH)

Nsfw!

Looks like fluffy-smut to me- holy shi 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ‘n idk what happened but my add-on is definitely smut helpjdksj

Levi didn’t actually expected you to obey his command so quickly. He watched as you stripped down, leaving the jacket on like he had ordered. Fuck you look so good It took his breath away and he has to shake his head a bit, collecting himself as you climbed into his bathtub bed.

He quickly joined you, climbing on top of you in the bathtub before pulling you closer and kissing you, moaning softy as he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue to tangle with yours.

His hands didn’t stop either, roaming over your body, exploring every inch of it, as if trying to burn it into his memory again.

Honestly there was something about this side of Levi that you couldn't resist. It was as if you were being taken by a completely different person, one who was confident and assertive…the grand admiral....it’s really hot-

You moaned when his fingers finally found their way between your legs, pressing against your already dripping cunt. He thrust two fingers inside you, causing you to moan loudly.

"You- you look so beautiful like this." Levi breathed into your ear, his voice low and husky. "I've been waiting for weeks to feel you again…..and I can’t wait anymore.”

He lines his cock up with your ready pussy, waiting for you to nod before sliding in and letting out a little whine he just can’t stop from slipping out, “S-so, good, messed you so m-much..”

He wanted nothing more than to keep you close, to let you feel how much you meant to him, as he fucked you faster, harder-

It was as if he had been holding back for weeks, waiting for this moment to release all the passion that had built up inside him.

“G-gonna cum soon….need, need you to cum with me.” as he leans down to kiss you, one of his hands slides back down to you clit and his thumb rubs against it roughly. Making Levi moan against your lips as you tighten around him, soon as he feels you orgasm take over your body Levi cums. rutting his hips into yours, riding through your orgasms together.

Panting Levi hides his face in your neck for a moment and he can hear you let out a little giggle, before whispering "I've missed you too, Levi." and Levi laughs, pressing a few soft kisses along your neck~

The next morning you’ll wake up to your, sweet boyfriend acting like his usual self. Looking over your body and apologizing endlessly, he promises he’ll be more gentle next time!! Wait no- he didn’t mean it like that!!- he did-

#:3 anyways-#very normal about him #also late as always so excuse any typos 🚶🏼‍♀️#obey me!#obey me smut #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan x reader #smut #x reader #levi x reader #leviathan x reader #levi <333 #leviathan smut #leviathan x you #mail!#roro writes

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bratzforchris · 2 months

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Hello! Would you be okay with writing a fix about Johnnie dating a famous singer and they make an appearance on one of his videos/streams just for something cute? Thank you I hope you’re doing well!

Can't Help Falling In Love

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ

Summary: A Saturday morning stream turns into a mini concert for you and Johnnie

Pairing: Johnnie x feminine and singer!reader

Warnings: Tooth rooting fluff None!

Word Count: 776

A/N: Thank you for the request! Also, this is my favorite picture of Johnnie ever OOO WAH AH AH AH AH

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ

“Fucking hell! What the fuck?”

You chuckled as you listened to Johnnie cursing at the computer from his streaming room upstairs. You were in the kitchen, pouring yourself a cup of coffee and enjoying the rainy morning. You’d been in the studio late last night, recording tracks for your upcoming album. You had wanted to stay in bed with your boyfriend all morning, sleeping the day away, but Johnnie had promised his followers that he would stream this morning, and you knew you couldn’t take him away from his career.

And so, you shot him a quick ‘Can I join?’ text, both because you missed your lover and because you were curious to see what in the world he was yelling about. Johnnie texted you back almost immediately, telling you to come on up. Even though you were in your pajamas, you practically raced up the stairs. You loved being involved in Johnnie’s streams, mostly because you two would either play silly games, or either making one of Johnnie’s video essays and laughing at the crazy people.

“Hey babe!” he exclaimed as soon as you opened the door.

The chat immediately exploded when you came into the frame. You chuckled, smiling and sitting down on your boyfriend’s lap as you kissed his cheek. The fans immediately in ‘AWWWWW’ and things of that nature. You were very lucky in the sense that both your and Johnnie’s fans were extremely supportive of your relationship and you didn’t have to hide it on social media or from the paparazzi.

“When does the new album come out, Y/N?” You read aloud. “That, my friend, is a secret.” You giggled.

Johnnie blushed, kissing your cheek. “They adore you.”

“I adore you,” You snaked your hand around the nape of Johnnie’s neck, kissing him softly. “Now, what the hell were you screaming about?” You laughed.

“This fucking game,” Johnnie gestured towards his computer, where some kind of horror game was pulled up. “It’s rigged.”

“I’m sure it is.” You hummed sarcastically, cuddling into his chest.

Your boyfriend eyed the chat as it raced with cute, supportive things for you two and gifts flooded the screen until one comment caught his eye.

“Do a duet,” he read. “Well, you guys have to ask Y/N if she’s up to singing. She was in the studio late last night.”

You let the fans go crazy for a moment before speaking. “I think that would be fun.” You giggled.

You stood up off Johnnie’s lap, allowing him to grab his iconic painted card guitar. Since Johnnie’s guitar would be in his lap, you pulled another chair into the frame, sitting down into it and smiling. Even though you were in a messy bun and no makeup with Jack Skellington pants and Johnnie was also in pajamas, you knew the following clips would probably go viral. You didn’t mind, though. You loved this boy with your whole heart, and this was love in its purest form. Just you two, the people that supported you, and your shared love of music.

“Should we sing our song for them?” Johnnie asked, sitting down in his streaming chair once again and tuning his guitar softly.

You nodded happily as Johnnie began to softly strum the chords to ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’. As you began to sing, everything else faded away, and it was just you and Johnnie, looking into each other’s eyes as he played and you sang.

“Cause I can’t help falling in love with you,” You hit a high note as he strummed the last chord and then happily smiled. “There you go, guys. I hope you enjoyed that.”

Despite being an extremely famous singer, your cheeks were still flushed red when singing for the chat, but as soon as you saw the outpouring of love, all the embarrassment faded away. You loved Johnnie, he loved you, and the fans were happy for you both. The screen filled with gifts from viewers again, and you moved into Johnnie’s lap, kissing him softly and sensually.

“Well guys, I hate to end the stream, but I gotta go hang out with my girl. Maybe I can convince her to make waffles.” Johnnie chuckled.

“You don’t need to convince me. I’ll be waiting downstairs.” You stood up off Johnnie’s lap and pecked his cheek, waving goodbye to the stream.

Your heart was practically exploding with love for your boyfriend as you wandered to the kitchen, but you couldn’t say that you were mad about it. if anything, it would make great content for your next album, and Johnnie couldn’t say he would be mad about being your muse.

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fanfiction #johnnie guilbert smut #johnnie guilbert fic #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert fanfic #jake webber fanfiction #jake webber fanfic #jake webber smut #jake webber fluff #jake webber #jake and johnnie #the tinas #tara yummy #fanfic #johnnie and jake #youtubers

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wolfpup026 · 14 days

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Photos from the Loki panel at Paleyfest! I filmed Tom and Owen coming onstage before being told we weren't allowed to record.

Owen was wearing an orange belt! Very TVA-core

And as he was walking out someone screamed 'we love you Owen!' and he waved 🥰 I was going to badly summarize some of my favorite moments but luckily people sneakier than me recorded them!

Here's Owen comparing Loki to his dog 😂The context for this is the interviewer brought up Loki's quote 'Satisfaction is not in my nature' and mentioned that in a comic from 2004 Loki defeats all his enemies and then still isn't happy. And he asked if martyrdom was fitting for the character because of that.

And Tom talking about filming the scene where Loki crashes into Mobius after getting pulled out of the time stream!

EDIT: another video! Owen talking about playing Mobius I think after this clip ends was when he said to Tom something like 'Yeah you got a new jacket in season 2, I don't know if it was TVA approved'

#loki #loki series #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #paleyfest #mobius #mcu #marvel

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darubyprincx · 8 months

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i think my favorite internet drama currently going down is what jacksfilms is doing.

jacksfilms is a youtube veteran who, recently, has covered other popular youtuber Sssniperwolf, who makes reaction videos for tiktoks. however, jack has shown that not only does Sssniperwolf not credit the videos she uses, her commentary often does not transform or add value to the original work in any way, which is a violation of copyright law. he's made a bingo card of things that can normally be found in her videos, often watches them on Twitch, and even put up a second channel (jjjacksfilms) where he shares clips of his streams. he's trying to raise awareness for this lack of credit that youtube is blatantly ignoring and makes sure to credit all of the original creators in his videos and honestly i find it hilarious. get her ass, Jack.

september 1st 2023, he had a breakthrough: one of the creators (Evanysphotography) whose work was stolen and who is a frequent visitor of his Twitch chats showed up to say that he'd submitted a copyright appeal on one of Sssniperwolf's videos and it had actually gone through, forcing her to remove the clip from the video.

youtube

it's great and i highly reccomend checking it out

#ray's tag #jacksfilms #sssniperwolf #Youtube

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white-sinner · 11 months

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Seven brothers and their boyfriends

third born Leviathan x male v tuber reader

Smut

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

an otaku and a v tuber…does a more perfect couple exist? I do not think so 🎮👾

when you arrived for him you were indifferent but after the challenge between him you and mammon, a friendship developed which then evolved into a love relationship

the brothers weren't much surprised you two had many similar interests. one of your favorite activities was your evenings/afternoons that the two of you spent playing games or watching anime which is precisely on one of those evenings that Levi discovers that you were a V tuber and when he find out …. practically all of his social networks turned into your fan pages, in short, his boyfriend was one of the top V tubers and I will do everything to support him

Levi was present in all your streams, one of your most active supports, if you have special contents you can swear that he has unlocked them all (obviously he had all your subscriptions) and oh my Diavolo if someone insults you Levi will be ready to defend you

Totally clips your streams without you knowing it's him. He will post funny moments of you out of context to a deviltube account, moments that made him laugh, moments that made him blush, he actually saves everything you stream

Would definitely nosebleed if you gave him a personal stream. He swears his heart will burst out of his chest because you make him so so embarrassed but he can't get enough!That's the Avatar of Envy for you! Let him have all your attention now, won't you sweetie~?

obviously your relationship wasn't all playing video games, streaming and watching anime you help him with school too and his grades showed it

SMUT

if Levi's jealousy was strong towards unknown demons that approached you… now think thirty times worse that's how it was with his brothers

you had spent the whole day with satan even after your stream! sure you were helping him with the cats but Levi didn't give a damn

it was a usual evening where you and Levi played games and watched anime only he didn't speak, he seemed distant but the situation became clearer when you had to go get a drink

"I'll go get f/d do you want something?"

you asked standing up

"no... go back to satan"

Levi said without taking his eyes off the screen

"what?"

silence

“Levi?”

levi was furious at that moment thinking about all the time you spent with satan he even clung to you!

“ I said go back to satan! he is so much better than me..why do you have to waste your time with an otaku like me when you can be with satan he even cling to you..”

at that moment tears fell from his eyes "hey levi what are you saying?!"

you told him leaning down to wipe away his tears

“H-he even touched you *hick* you never touch me”

“ok first of all he didn't touch me he just leaned on because he was falling and second why on earth would i be with satan? when I'm with a wonderful and fantastic demon"

you gave him a kiss

"t-touch me"

"what?"

“I want you to touch me .. I want to have s-sex with you”

so you took him prince style and placed him on the couch (since this man doesn't have a bed) and kissing him softly but hungry you undressed him, your tongues intertwined but your yours took control.

once he was bare you broke the kiss a trickle of saliva was on his mouth and so he turned around giving you full access over him as you thrust your cock inside him .by the sheer amount of pleasure he ended up transforming in his demonic form so you took the opportunity to pull his tail Levi had the strongest orgasm he has ever had (and his first too) you two hadn't slept that night but not because of video games as evidenced by the hickeys on Levi's neck and someone noticed the thing

"but look at that you two really had fun eh"

said Asmodeus

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munsonfamilyband · 10 months

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It’s been a hot sec since I’ve been on tumblr (grad school man, it’s nuts) but I’ve been watching a lot of dimension 20 lately and it’s got me thinking about Eddie running something similar.

Eddie runs a dnd group with some friends, occasionally some guests join in, it’s reasonably popular. But everyone’s favorite thing he does is the livestreams - and not just because the games are always a little more intense when they’re live but because there is always a chance of Steve popping up.

Steve becomes something of an easter egg on the channel. He originally just showed up in the background once in a while during videos, the camera always cutting away from him quickly though. People started collecting clips and speculating on who he was. A manager? A friend? The person who makes the minis?

Eventually Eddie gets asked during a personal livestream about the guy in the background and he just laughs. “You talking about my Stevie? Yeah, he shows up a lot but considering we share an apartment that makes sense. He likes to make snacks because he finds dnd boring.” Not even a second later chat is flooded with more questions that Eddie just grins at and tells them to wait. Half and hour later the door can be heard opening in the background and Eddie pushes back from his desk a little bit, rolling his chair enough that he can lean his head back and look at something with a smile. “Hey, sugar. Everybody’s asking about you.” Muffled talking can be heard, the words unable to be picked up but the laugh is audible. Eddie laughs back and fully spins his chair to face something else. “You gonna come say hello or what?” The laugh is heard again before the man - Stevie, as Eddie had said - appears in the doorway and sits down right on Eddie’s lap. Everyone can see as Eddie slides forward in his chair enough for Steve to wrap his legs around his hips. As Eddie rolls back over to his desk they all see Steve wrapping his arms around Eddie’s neck and settling into him completely. They watch as Eddie presses kisses to the side of his face to the sound of giggles before Steve turns enough to get a proper kiss before hiding his face away again.

Eddie ends the stream shortly after that when he glances down at Steve and smiles softly. “Alright gang, looks like I’m wrapping it up early today. Stevie’s asleep and I don’t want to wake him. Don’t forget we start a new campaign this Friday 6pm central time. See y’all then.”

From that moment on Steve is a fan favorite and they beg to see him any chance they can - seeing Eddie switch from sadistic DM to lovesick boyfriend is a highlight of any livestream. It eventually gets to a point where they set up a wide camera that they can switch to if Steve shows up so he can say hi while he passes out whatever food he had made or asks Eddie a whispered question.

Eddie likes to joke that his fans like Steve more than him - but he never blames them.

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #i hath returned #been obsessed with d20 lately and i just need steve the channel cryptid becoming the channel mascot

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bad268 · 3 months

Text

Publicly in Love (Frog Boys X Reader)

[Blank] in Love Pt 4

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Technically no, but I incorporated two requests from @youngcreatorlady and @goldenstarofthunderclan. I hope yall don't mind <3 Side note, I’m gonna start taking requests for Pezzy! I’ve been in a Pezzy mood and found out I really like writing for him lol

Warnings: none.

Pronouns: First person (I/me/they/them)

W.C. approx 220 each

Summary: Going public with the Frog Boys

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<-Part 3

Puffer

“Are you sure this is the best way to go about this?” I asked, looking back at Puffer from my spot on his lap. We were looking at the screen where he was logged into his Instagram with a drafted post of the two of us. He thought the best idea was to hard launch on Instagram and hope for the best. “You barely post as it is. This will give everyone a heart attack.”

“Would you rather join a live stream?” He asked back rhetorically, knowing I would not do well under the live scrutiny. “This is just easier.”

“Easier for who? You, me, or your fans?” I laughed back as I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

“You and me,” he whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. “If we did a live stream, it would be an hour or two of straight questions. If we post something, I can log off and we can completely forget about it.”

“You are devious. I love it,” I chuckled, looking back at the caption. “What are you going to say?”

“I don’t know yet,” He admitted, “What do you think?”

“Fuck it, we ball,” I replied, straightfaced before turning back to make eye contact, “Hard launch edition.”

“That’s so bad!” He laughed, leaning in to hide his face in my shoulder.

“You never said it had to be good!”

Pezzy

Drunk Q&As were fun. Especially when it had been going on for a couple of hours at this point. Ever since I came back from visiting my family, my mentions have been blowing up with clips from the stream where I called Pezzy my favorite simp. It was while drunk that I remembered that Pezzy and I never confirmed or outed our relationship.

“Are yall roommates or what cuz damn I wish my roommate looked at me like that,” one of the comments read.

“Yeah, if his roommate also gets to go out with him,” I laughed, downing the last shot of soju. “I also get to kiss him, so that’s fun.”

“Fun?!” he laughed, almost falling off his chair. “Kissing me is fun?”

“What would you rather me talk about?” I quipped back. “I can talk about how mindblowing you are-”

“And that’s enough from you,” He slapped his hand over my mouth to stop me from talking. “You’re cut off. Don’t continue that thought.”

“I was going to talk about your bike but okay,” I groaned after I pulled his hand away from my mouth, but kept his hand in mine. “Anyways, chat. He’s mine, so back the fuck up.”

“So possessive, damn,” he laughed, pulling our intertwined hands up to place a kiss on my knuckles. “It's hot.”

“Nah, just jealous.”

Droid

“Guys, I swear to god,” I groaned into my pillow. I agreed to do a sleep stream with Droid weeks ago, but now, it was honestly hell. Not only was I so drained from the day in general, I was not feeling at all social to put up a facade for the viewers. My social battery was dead, and I just seemed pissed, probably. “Can we not play the Buzz Lightyear commercial nine times in a fucking row?!”

“That’s what that noise was?” Droid asked as he came back into the room with snacks and drinks. “Did yall make them insane or what?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I wined as I covered my ears. Droid set the drinks and snacks to the side as he laid down on his side of the mattress we set up. He also leaned over to the speakers to turn them down a couple of notches before leaning back. Once he was situated, I moved his arm, so I could lay into his side. “Chat, don’t. Just don’t fucking say anything.”

“Yeah, they’re allowed to do this,” He said into the microphone as he pulled up the chat on his phone, reading through some of the comments. “We get it, they’re cute and tired. Shut it.”

Despite the noise, it did not take long to fall asleep. And it certainly did not take long for the chat to notice either. However, it was not until chat started spamming at Droid did he noticed. “Guys leave my s/o alone. Be lucky they even agreed to this.”

Grizzy

Being on a panel at PAX AUS was a highlight of any creator. To have been invited was unimaginable. I was invited to be on a panel with the Misfits along with Grizzy and Smitty. We had flown in a few days prior (with a load of delays, might I add), and now, it was finally the day.

Sitting on the stage was surreal. With Grizzy on my left and Tobi on my right, we started answering questions down the line.

“Next question is for Y/n and Grizzy, technically,” the fan started. Immediately, I knew where it was going, so I lifted my hand that was already holding Grizzy’s onto the table. The fan began stuttering as they gestured to our hands. “Um, I think that answers my question.”

“If the question was if Girizzy and I are together,” I said just to confirm, and I was met with a timid nod from them, “the answer is yes. We have been together for a couple of months now.”

“And before anyone asks, technically, they made the first move,” Grizzy added.

“I thought you were asleep!” I objected, turning to face him while still keeping the microphone in my hand.

“That does not make it sound any better!” Grizzy and the rest of the group laughed.

“Trust me,” Fitz interjected, “that does not make it sound any less creepy. And I even know the whole story!”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up, all of you!”

Part 5 ->

~~~~~

#big puffer x reader #pezzy x reader #elastic droid x reader #grizzy x reader #bigpuffer x reader #elasticdroid x reader #pezzy #grizzy #big puffer #bigpuffer #elastic droid #elasticdroid #bad268 #ship268 #thing268 #bad268 [blank] in love

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oizysian · 28 days

Text

VIII. SHE’S MARRIED, IDIOT

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 1.6k

•

"Hey, wake up, sleeping beauty."

I smacked the finger that was poking at my cheek and opened my eyes, a smiling Brie staring down at me. She was sitting on top of me and Lizzie was still sleeping soundly beside me.

She poked at my face again and I whined, shaking my head to get her hand away from me.

"I'm up, I'm up. Lemme just rest my eyes for a second."

"No." She bounced on top of me, shaking the whole bed and disturbing both me and Lizzie. "Your flight is in a few hours. You gotta get up."

"I told you, I'm up." I pushed her off me and she rolled onto the bed, giggling deviously as she moved away from us.

I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again, looking down at Lizzie who was now half awake next to me.

"Lizzie, we gotta get up. Brie won't let us sleep in any more."

"She doesn't have to get up, you do."

I groaned and threw my arm over my eyes. I hated the fact that I had to go, but I did. Brie and Lizzie had to get back to their normal lives and I had to get back to streaming.

"Why does she have to get up?" Lizzie asked sleepily, and I looked over at her, watching her rub the sleep from her eyes.

"I'm leaving soon." I said somewhat sadly.

"Oh." She replied, just as gloomy as I was.

"C'mon," Brie said, tossing a rolled up napkin at me. "You still gotta pack and get your hoodie from your girlfriend."

"I wouldn't have to pack if you guys didn't go through my stuff and leave a huge mess."

"Sorry." Lizzie said bashfully and I smiled at her.

"It's not your fault. I know it was all Brie's idea. Besides, you look better as Commander Shepard than I do."

"Commander Shepard?" She questioned, looking down at the N7 on her chest.

"She's from a game. Mass Effect. One of my favorites."

She tried to discreetly snuggle deeper into the hoodie as I got up from the bed, stretching as I tried to shake the sleep from my person.

"What time is your flight?" Lizzie asked and I thought for a moment before responding.

"Twelve, I think. Or Twelve-thirty."

"Either way, it's in about three hours."

I groaned again and started picking up my clothes from the floor, stuffing them back into my suitcase haphazardly. I was exhausted and upset that I had to leave. And I didn't know how Brie managed to be awake and alert after everything we did last night.

"Are you coming with us to the airport, Lizzie or are you gonna leave before we do?"

"I'm coming, of course!" She said, almost offended.

I looked at her over my shoulder and I couldn't help but admire her with her bed head and sleepy eyes. She was beautiful.

"I really appreciate you guys coming with me. Traveling alone is still kinda nerve wracking."

"Of course, Y/N." Lizzie said, standing from the bed. "What kind of friends would we be if we didn't?"

"Shitty ones." Brie cut in and I laughed.

"You're right. Shitty ones."

"So, as your bestest best friends, we will take you all the way to the airport."

I turned around and smiled at Lizzie, finally finishing my packing and zipping up my bag.

"You're gonna need a disguise. Brie already has one."

"Oh. Oh, yeah."

I picked my SnapBack up off the nightstand and leaned over the bed, plopping it onto her head.

"There ya go. You'll be undetectable."

"But, what happens when I have to give it back?"

"We run." Brie said and I nodded.

"And we hope that nobody is paying attention."

Brie grabbed her hat and put it on, then took her sunglasses and clipped them to the collar of her shirt.

"I can let you borrow my glasses once Y/N takes back her hat."

"Thanks, Brie. I appreciate it."

I smiled to myself, happy to see the two of them getting along. If anything came out of this trip, it was their newly blossoming friendship.

"Alright, let's clean up and get ready to roll."

•

I dragged my suitcase behind me as Brie led us towards the airport, Lizzie trailing close behind me. She was still wearing my hoodie and hat, and so far, nobody noticed us. Thankfully, I was still a nobody, so even though I didn't have my hat, I was still able to blend in.

"Alright ladies, we're here."

Brie stopped in front of the doors and Lizzie and I followed suit. I looked from Lizzie to Brie before Brie walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. I was taken aback by the suddenness of it, but within a second I was hugging her back, squeezing her tight.

"I'm gonna miss you, kid. Come back soon, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

She pulled away from me and smiled, backing away and letting Lizzie approach me.

The other blonde stared at me for a moment before hugging me also, squeezing me even tighter than Brie did.

"I'll see you soon. I'll be in New York soon for the Hattie Harmony book tour."

"I'll definitely have to come and get a book signed."

She pulled away from me and smacked my shoulder lightly, removing my hat from her head and putting it back on my own; backwards, just like I wear it.

She started taking off the hoodie and I stopped her.

"Keep it for now. It'll give us an excuse to hang out again even after your book tour."

She smiled and nodded at me, hugging me once more before standing next to Brie.

"Bye, guys." I said sadly. "I'll text you when I land." I directed that comment to Brie.

"And me!" Lizzie butt in and I nodded.

"Absolutely, Miss Olsen. I'll text you both."

With a final smile, I turned around, dragging my bag along behind me as I entered the airport. My vacation was over and it was time to go back to reality.

•

"I'm sorry I was gone so long guys, but I'm back!" I said to my chat as I started up my stream. It had only been a few days, but it felt like a lifetime.

The messages were out of control, pouring in so fast I couldn't even keep up with them.

u met lizzie !!

Is she fruity irl?

omg y/n you actually met Elizabeth

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM

Okay, so most of the comments were about me meeting Lizzie, which was expected. Some of the usual trolls started busting my balls about it, but overall the reaction was good. My community was filled with generally good people, so most of my viewers were just excited to have seen me with the woman I was absolutely in love with.

The first stream back went well. It was about five hours long and I noticed that even Brie stopped by to chat for a little bit, which was a nice surprise.

When it ended, I checked my phone because I had been ignoring it the whole time, and I was surprised, yet again, by the fact that Lizzie messaged me saying she saw some of my stream. Wait. She saw some of my stream?!

Oh god, what embarrassing things had she seen? Did she see how much my chat brought her up because of those pictures? Did she read the things they said?

Oh wow, so what'd you think?

I responded cooly, and within a second she was replying.

I think you're really funny. You had been so shy when we hung out, I didn't really get to see your sense of humor.

I got nervous 😅

Why, silly?

'Cos I was hanging out with Elizabeth Olsen and Brie Larson! That's crazy on the nerves haha

Psh. Next time we hang out I wanna hear some of those goofy jokes I know you've got hidden inside you.

We'll see if I can manage to pull them out for you

We spoke for a little while longer before I decided to call it a day and take a nap. Streaming always left me exhausted, and as much as I wanted to talk to her, I knew she had better things to do than to text me.

I still couldn't believe she had watched my stream. I just hoped that I hadn't been too dorky when she tuned in. Then again, it's best that she saw me in my element. If she can stand me while I'm being a Twitch personality, she can probably deal with me normally.

As my eyes began to droop, my phone went off. I picked it up from next to my pillow and checked to see who messaged me. Brie.

Hope you didn't mind me passing along the link to your stream. She wanted to watch you

I don't mind. I can't believe she'd want to watch me tho

She likes you, idiot

She's married, idiot

Don't idiot me, loser. She likes you as a friend for sure, but I think she may have a little crush

That's just wishful thinking. Plus, I'm no homewrecker

At least, so far in my life I wasn't.

After briefly talking to Brie, I finally fell asleep, exhaustion from the past week finally catching up with me. Between work and hanging out with two celebrities, I was absolutely bushed.

Bzz bzz

My phone went off again early in the morning and I chose to ignore it.

Robbie and I will be in New York in two weeks to promote our new children's book! I hope to see you there!

•

@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp @dorabledewdroop

#oizysian writes #elizabeth olsen story #elizabeth olsen x yn #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen x female reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen #brie larson x y/n #brie larson x female reader #brie larson x you #brie larson x reader #brie larson

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pileofwords · 2 years

Text

live stream

pairing: s.coups x reader length: 1.2k genre: fluff summary: seungcheol is in the middle of an impromptu live stream when you, unaware, burst into his room and are caught on camera.

You weren’t thinking of much when you headed to Seungcheol’s room and burst through the closed door.

His good morning text had been one telling you that you could come over after work and that had been, quite literally, the only thing that had gotten you through the rest of the day. The sole thoughts floating around your mind were of the food you’d brought over and how much you wanted to grab the boy in question so you could eat it together.

“Seungcheol, beloved, light of my life, world’s best boyfriend, I have– what?”

Seungcheol stared at you like a deer in headlights from his position sitting cross legged on his bed. His eyes flickered to the phone he had propped up against a couple of pillows, then to you; confused, you followed his gaze back to the phone. There was a beat of silence, then you slapped your hand over your mouth as your heart dropped very dramatically into your stomach.

“Oh no.”

Seungcheol looked like he was somewhere between wanting to swear and wanting to burst out laughing and couldn’t quite decide which direction to take.

“Oh no,” you repeated, slowly taking several steps backward, even though you weren’t visible on screen from this angle. “Live?” He nodded, confirming what you were already certain of. Whatever poor soul was monitoring his live was probably having a complete breakdown; you just groaned. “Ah.” Over three years of sneaking around down the drain. You’d known this day would come eventually - it was inevitable - but you hadn’t exactly expected it’d be today when you woke up this morning.

From his spot on the bed, Seungcheol weighed his options. One quick glance at the screen showed comments coming in so fast they were nothing more than a blur. Even if they didn’t upload the replay, he knew there would be clips saved and some three hundred and seventy thousand people had just heard the exchange live – there wasn’t exactly a way to talk yourselves out of this one. And, honestly, he didn’t really want to.

So he looked at you.

He tilted his head in the direction of his phone. Wanna join?

You raised an eyebrow. Is that allowed?

A shrug. I don’t care.

A hesitant step forward. I dunno. You sure?

And he opened his arms, a smile finally blossoming over his face. “C’mere.”

You paused for a second longer until he wrinkled up his nose ever-so-slightly and wiggled his shoulders; you caved immediately, plopping down on the edge of his bed, just barely visible at the edge of his phone screen.

“Baaaaabe,” he whined and grabbed your arm, tugging on it until you obliged him and scooted closer; he wrapped his arms around you fully and rested his chin on your shoulder before smiling at his phone.

“Say hi.”

When you finally looked at your images on the screen, you started to pout. “No fair, you look way better than I do.”

“No I don’t!”

“Cheol, I ran over here after my workout, I look like a trainwreck. I accidentally crashed your live and I look like a disaster, this is the worst possible first impression I could make.”

Seungcheol laughed, your favorite giggly ‘ha ha ha’ laugh, the one that filled you up and made you feel warm, and he squished his cheek against your shoulder. One hand slipped around to rest against the small of your back, drawing slow, deliberate circles there in reassurance.

“I think you’re the prettiest in the world.”

That’s all it took for your face to begin heating up, turning a splotchy red for all four hundred and eighty thousand viewers to see (when did so many more people show up?).

“Carats, this is my partner.” There was an unmistakable note of pride in his voice that only made the red spilled over your cheeks darken. You hadn’t thought it possible, but the comments looked like they were coming in even faster than before and you went cross eyed trying to catch any words at all.

“We’ve been together for…a little over three years?”

You nodded in confirmation. “Yep!” You glanced back at the screen for a second. “I know you guys already know this, but he’s the best.” You watched a delightedly smug little smirk appear on his face and rolled your eyes. “But you have to stop telling him that or his ego’s just gonna explode and he’s gonna be totally insufferable.”

“Hey!” He whacked your arm playfully, the smirk replaced with a pout, and this time it was your turn to laugh.

“I'm teasing, you know I love you."

That’s all it took for his pout to be replaced with the widest grin and he gave your waist a gentle squeeze. “Love you most.”

“Ugh, gross, publicly declaring your love like five minutes after we tell people we’re dating.”

And he was laughing again, his smile so bright it was blinding, crumpling into you as he dissolved into giggles, which only made you laugh with him. There, in his arms, laughing until your sides hurt – that was home.

It took a minute or two for you both to settle down, but Seungcheol began to play with a strand of your hair once he did. “Babe, what’d you come in for in the first place?”

“Ah!” You sat up a little straighter, suddenly remembering the purpose of your mission, and turned your head, lowering your voice so it wasn’t picked up on the stream. “I brought your favorite for dinner because Shua told me you haven’t eaten yet. He wanted to do a movie night? You wanna?”

He nodded. “Mmm. Sounds good.”

You grinned. “I’ll go tell Shua and Jeonghan. Take your time!” You slid off the bed, rolling your eyes when Seungcheol grabbed your arm and tugged you back in to leave a quick kiss on your cheek. You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before disappearing into the hallway, pulling his door shut behind you.

Seungcheol waited until he was sure you were out of earshot before he turned his attention back to his phone. “Carats,” he started, his tone carrying just a hint of warning, “be nice to them.”

The comments hadn’t slowed down since you walked in the room, but he caught a lot of heart emojis, “so cute!!”s, and general statements of affirmation.

“They mean a lot to me, so you have to be nice, okay?” He waited a minute, pushing his hair up and out of his face, only for it to fall right back into place. “I know you will be, but I just wanted to say it anyway. I’m gonna go eat dinner now. Everyone have a good night, sleep well.” He brought his hand up in front of his face to wave at the camera. “Bye bye!” And he ended the live, leaving his phone there, propped up against the pillows, as he ambled off to find you.

—

Later that night, he posted one picture on weverse; him smiling at the camera with you pressed up against his shoulder, fast asleep, face obscured by shadows. His fingers hovered over the screen for a second before he edited the post, adding a caption.

our own heaven 😊❤️

#caratwritersclub #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #seventeen scenarios #s.coups x reader #seungcheol x reader #s.coups imagines #choi seungcheol #s.coups #seventeen #sometimes i start fics and then have no idea how to end them and this is what you get #me as i throw heaven's cloud lyrics in at the end of this fic: it's fine heaven's cloud solves everything #ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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blackopals-world · 1 year

Text

"Shame Him!"

Cat Streamer!FemYuu x Vtuber! Idia Shroud

Idia's favorite streamer goes live and he couldn't help commenting.

Idia frantically threw his bag down as he ran to his computer. It was starting any minute now. His favorite streamer "YuYu-Nekokoro" was live now. He couldn't miss seeing her greeting.

"Ahn-Nya! Hello, my sweet kittens! It's YuYu!" She cheered in her adorable voice. Her cat-eared headset lit up in flashes.

Idia was YuYu's biggest fan. She was a ball of sunshine and he wished she would read out his messages. But he couldn't, if she did then it would bring too much attention to his channel and it would be so embarrassing for her to know that he watched her. She's a twitch e-girl and he was a Vtuber, they came from different worlds.

That is until someone asked her a question.

"My favorite streamer? It's a bit embarrassing but I really like Hades. I watch his streams every time he's live. It's perfect that he always starts after I finish my live. He so funny and his model is cute." She blushed as she said this.

The comment section exploded.

'Caught in 4k'

'Clip this'

'She like me fr'

'DOWN Horrendous'

'Simp'

'Me too'

'Omg sned this to him'

"Wait guys no! Don't clip this!" She panicked.

Idia felt like the floor dropped out from under him but gravity wasn't working. She watched him. She liked his streams! He could die happy.

Halfway through the stream a loud meowing could be heard in the background.

"Grim? GRIM! No, I'm working!" She yelled at her cat who cameoed every few streams. "Do you even know what work is?"

She got up and picked up the fat gray cat.

"You don't work. All you do is shit and eat. You're so fat." She held the cat up to the camera "Shame him. He must be punished for his crimes."

"No he's baby'

'Good kitty'

'SHAME'

'Baby'

'Is this how you treat our son?'

Idia immediately wanted to throw himself into the sun. Why did he type that!? Why did he press enter!? Grim looks so cute he couldn't resist.

'OMG HADES-SAMA?!'

'ItsHim'

'SKCJWMFKCO'

'Are you two dating?'

'Of course not. Our goddess would have told us.'

'She doesn't have too."

'HADes YuYu likes you♡♡♡♡'

"Guys don't tell him! I just thinks he's cool is all!" Yuyu squeaked hinding behing her cat.

"It's okay, I'm a big fan too." Idia typed out. He sounder much cooler in text.

"Really! I'm so happy!" The growing smiled returned to her face.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland yuu #twisted wonderland x reader #twst yuu #idia shroud x reader #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud #idia x y/n #twst grim #twisted wonderland grim

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infinitebrians · 4 months

Text

Favorite Games of 2023 Part 4: Pseudoregalia

I knew Pseudoregalia was going to be good the minute I started the game and did the input for the Mario 64 side flip jump and the game’s main character Sybil did her own version of that satisfying jump. One of my all time favorite things to do in a Mario game (or any game) is that side flip, a jump that is as practical as it is just simply satisfying to do. Sybil being able to do that jump without needing any of the power ups found in the game told me that the developers of this game knew the importance to making character feel good jumping around in a 3D world. Her movement only gets better from there with a bunch of new platforming abilities that makes her capable of getting what feels like anywhere in that game world if desired. The pure control you have over Sybil's platforming capabilities gave me so many great moments of pure curiosity to experiment with what could work. What's better is watching friends and others play the game and figure out their own solutions to the game's open ended platforming design. There are no wrong answers in the world of Pseudoregalia, just results.

This game was a complete surprise in just about every way, just the best feeling platformer I’ve played in a long while in this small, cleaned up former game jam game. I’ve followed the main dev rittzler on twitter for a few years because the gameplay clips of their work have all looked fun and impressive and they always shared other really cool indie dev work as well. So, I was excited to finally play Pseudoregalia when it was announced to be released. It's super low price (6 dollars USD) and being something I was able to finish in the span of one day alone was a huge breath of fresh air in this current gaming environment. It’s something I’ve been personally thinking a lot about recently is the appeal of a simpler, lower priced game. It’s appeal to me coming from playing something that never needs to be some sort of omnipresent, super game. Instead, Pseudoregalia presents itself in a humble statement of, ‘here, enjoy a few hours jumping around this wacky maze like castle as a goat bunny lady!’.

I'm not a person who typically ever has a desire to replay a game right after finishing it, I usually prefer to immediately move on to another game that I've been wishing to play for for a while. Pseudoregalia is a game I've played four or so times now from start to finish, I even started another playthrough in preparation for this drawing/writing and found myself wanting to play it all the way through again. Its the first time I found myself actually physically seeing the appeal of speedrunning, a hobby I always just enjoyed as a spectator. Pseudoregalia just lends itself so neatly to that part of me that loves routing out a path for stuff. How quickly can you find all the vital movement abilities for Sybil? What's unnecessary, what can be improved, what can be gathered while on the path of gathering something else. From at least my perspective of not actually investigating the proper speedrunner's routing, the options feel immense. From these handful of times replaying the game I've gotten a good handle of finding my way around the map and a good idea of how to get a lot of the really important movement abilities almost immediately. It also made the game feel quite different from how it felt to me with my first playthrough, what was once mysterious and labyrinthine was now a familiar playground.

That is one thing I will miss when doing those repeat playthroughs is that sense of discovery that occurred with that initial run. Soon before Pseudoregalia came out, I watched a lot of Videochess and spaghoner's exploration and documentation of the incredible Mario 64 hack, B3313 ( https://youtu.be/pLKB0SG0i8c ). I found that hack incredible at creating a sense of uneasiness and wonder from simply keeping you constantly guessing what was next behind each door something even those two expressed while streaming. During my first playthrough of Pseudoregalia, I was completely lost in that castle and was constantly finding paths that led to new zones or ones circled me back to old ones from hours ago. It was a pretty incredible feeling of discovery that only wore out it's welcome at the end when I just needed one more big key necessary for progression. What helped make exploration in both of these games engaging the whole time is that aspect of having a really fun character to move around as while being lost. It was okay with being completely lost because I could still just keep doing these long jumps into wall kicks that just make Sybil go fuckin' fast in an immensely satisfying way.

I think in the time it's taken me to think about this game again, and briefly revisit it in preparation for this art/writing I've come to decide that this is probably my favorite new game of 2023. In a year full of fantastic platformers to pick from, this one was just a class above in terms of movement design and movement application.

#drawdogs #art #pixel art #favorite games of 2023 #writing #pseudoregalia #sybil pseudoregalia

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teddybearsandspaceships · 1 month

Text

Again, way too detailed notes about a Cleo stream (15.3.2024) because it was great and I want to remember. (Please Cleo upload your VODs again please.) Featuring an Ancient City, Hermit scariness ratings, a new Emerald Daddy, and Life series reminiscing with the Clockers.

Plan for today: Ancient City raiding!, to get books

She´s definitely going alone because Ancient City raiding on her own is terrifying but you know what else is terrifying? The other people on the server.

The only person on the server Cleo is afraid of is False. Not Gem, Gem´s a kitten. False could take Cleo in a fight and kill her dead, but more importantly False can scare Cleo because she´s quite sinister. 5am Pearl is kinda cute. “can kill you, probably won´t,” if you entertain her. Cub isn´t scary either, the only thing to be scared of with Cub is the grind. Doc is 95% bark.

(In hindsight, finding a Swift Sneak II book so early is a tease knowing that it´ll be the only one.)

Chat is way more scared of the Ancient City than Cleo is. Worst that can happen, you summon a warden, you die, and your gear despawns, so what. Cleo thinks people are trying to freak her out and scare her into making mistakes.

This stream was right after or during Mumbo´s video on Hermits´ weird playing habits came out so there were plenty of questions about Cleo´s set-up. Cleo defends their choices, also they have a desk now.

Hypno drops by to show off his new armor and announce a raid. Cleo calls Cub her Emerald Daddy because he supplies her with emeralds.

Hypno drops off a shulker full of emerald blocks for Cleo, for free. Cleo then tells him he gets free books now. Hypno is astonished and delighted, and asks for a written voucher. Cleo writes him one and calls him Emerald Daddy too. Cleo: “Double Emerald Daddy, I´m good.”

Cleo won´t tell her fellow Hermits that they´re great to their faces because it would ruin her tough guy image.

Fun in chat: Etho sleeps. Bdubs: “sorry dad” Etho: “son I am at your place to give you a scolding” Bdubs: “be right up” – Cleo is sorry she saw that

Cleo discovers Joel´s glow ink shop and the glow squid Joel built from candles and is delighted. Joel is now her absolute favorite person. Armor stand buddies!

Taking advantage of the fact that all words are made up, Cleo makes a few more hoppadingdongs

Bdubs demands quiet because he and Etho are about to record one of their famous Bdubs-and-Etho clips. Cleo says they should get in a group. Etho: “Mum is so bossy, right Bdubs?” Bdubs: “She´s so bossy.” Cleo: […] *hits him* “Don´t talk to me that way.” Bdubs: “I´m sorry.” Cleo: “You will be.” Bdubs: “I´m sorry. That was a no-no, I´m sorry.” Etho: “Never talk back to your mummy.” Bdubs: “No, never.” Cleo: “Yeah, you two role-playing this thing again, it´s weird.” Etho, laughing: “You´re done with it, aren´t you, Cleo.” Cleo, also laughing: “I´m done with it. I was kind of done with it when it started, to be honest.” Bubs: “That shows your level of commitment.” Etho: “I feel like we move on from it and then Scar brings it up once in a while, and then Bdubs…” Cleo: “Me and Etho are kind of over it, so…” Bdubs: “Really? I saw Joel today and I thought, this is my uncle.” Etho: “Baby-sitter, right?” Cleo: “Cousin.”

Cleo offers to mute again but Bdubs asks her not to, having her there is great. Like audience chatter.

Bdubs shows Etho and Cleo his scaffolding challenge as his shop advertisement. Etho: “He´s so clever.” Cleo: “He is, he´s a genius. That´s our special boy.”

Bdubs starts his spiel: “You think you´re so cool…” Etho: “I thought I was…”

Bdubs wins the first game because Etho has trouble ringing the bell. And the second one. Cleo soon realizes that it´s easy to make Bdubs lose by sabotaging the scaffolding. Bdubs swears Etho and Cleo to secrecy about this easily exploitable weakness.

Cleo keeps talking about how wealthy they are. Very profitable shop, after all! (…true but I saw Cub´s stacks of diamond blocks the next day. Fear the grind.) Cleo bankrolled Etho already.

After a conversation about pricing Etho tells Cleo they have to teach Bdubs about peer pressure. Then remembers that “she doesn´t like it when we do that, we gotta stop.” Cleo says it´s fine. (Yay boundaries.)

Cleo asks Bdubs for a horse. Bdubs accuses Keralis of fraud (secretly swapping the horses people bought from him if they don´t buy the extended warranty.) Cleo asks if Keralis is gingering his horses. They talk about the meanings of the word, and why ginger is also used for red-heads. Etho: “Is it ´cause gingers are spicy?” Moment of silence. Cleo: “…sure?” Bdubs: “Yeah…” Etho: “I think we nailed it.”

Some talk abut spelling variations. “You can just say you don´t know how to spell, Etho, it´s fine.” And then talk about British dialects, how they drop the “t” in the middle of words (or phrases). Etho and Bdubs try to imitate it, badly. They don´t seem to understand what “in the middle of a word” means.

Shopping district talk, and some reminiscing about Shade-E-E´s. Cleo steered clear because she didn´t know Etho very well back then. Etho has a different glass prank in mind for this season. Etho and Bdubs also remember an end rod exchange thing they did, they neither remember what started it or how it ended.

Cleo: “I feel like you´re not spiteful enough, Etho.” He lets too much go. Bdubs protests that Etho lets it go with him, because they have a history – Etho: that´s right – but to anybody else Etho is very spiteful. Cleo: He´s never been particularly spiteful to me, “and I deserve it.” Bdubs, dismissive: nah. Etho: “Well, to be fair, Cleo *builds up a dirt wall like he did between them in Third Life* I am kinda scared of you.” Both crack up. “You´re not necessarily who I wanna be poking.”

Cleo clarifies that the reason why False is the only one who scares her is because False is very quick on the insults. Cleo can be fast, but False can be faster. Bdubs: “Now I´m scared.”

Etho tells Bdubs the story of why he´s scared of Cleo: “I always viewed Cleo as, like, sweet, innocent, you know, quiet…” Cleo cracking up. It was because Cleo stole Pizza, for no reason. “She was laughing the whole time, like a crazy psycho.” Cleo: “It´s a llama.” “I just thought it was interesting, I had a complete shift of what I thought of you at that moment.” Bdubs: “Yeah, she can do anything.” Bdubs was also shocked at that moment. They hadn´t talked about it, Bdubs just supported her in her plan to cause trouble. Stealing Pizza was more of a crime of opportunity because Scar didn´t want to talk to her and left Pizza there. “Bold move.” “It´s just Scar.” Etho reminds everyone that the Life series was fresh at that point, they know now that this sort of thing happens but they didn´t then. Cleo didn´t know most of the people in the series very well so she went full-on chaos gremlin. She blames Bdubs.

Etho repeats that that´s when his perspective on Cleo shifted. “And it never shifted back. Like, the more stuff she did, it just got further in that way.” Cleo can understand that: she got worse, as time went on, chaos-gremlin-wise. Etho: now we´re in season ten of Hermitcraft, she´s stealing villagers… Cleo points out that it wasn´t her idea, but admits that she fully embraced it. Etho isn´t sure he would have, Bdubs says he wouldn´t have. Cleo: “What´s Doc going to do to me.” Bdubs: “Uh, have you seen the sand dial?” Cleo: “Have you seen what´s inside it?” Bdubs, clearly grinning: “Oh, yes, yes.”

Scar is online and Bdubs invited him over to find out if he was actually upset about Cleo stealing Pizza. Scar arrives on his horse, but stays away a few blocks. Etho walks up to him: “You may approach, Scar.” Scar ender-pearls up to them. Bdubs asks how mad he was at Cleo over Pizza, Scar claims he was looking up tickets to the UK to seek his revenge. “Pizza meant more than I can express.” Does a whole sad monologue. Cleo and Etho think it was funny, Scar demands they take it back. Worse, and what also really threw Etho, when Scar asked Cleo to her face if she stole Pizza she denied it.

Cleo: “Yeah, but I´ve had my punishment now, ´cause now I´m your mother forever.” Scar just realized: “The family! What a wonderful moment.” Etho: “Out shopping together.”

Scar has to wait for Skizz to enforce rules in the shopping district, but Skizz is off on the high seas. Scar: “What if the boat went down.” “What the hell, Scar!” “That´d be awful!” Scar imagines it as, you float for a while, maybe see a shark, then get rescued in a helicopter. Cleo: you might see someone else die, while you survive ´cause you´re the main character. Scar asks after a Titanic character and is surprised Etho immediately knows her name because Etho is usually bad with movie references.

Cleo: “I would never do anything to you guys, you´re my family.” Bdubs: That´s sweet.” Scar: “That was sinister.” Etho: “Trolls us.” Cleo: “Correct.”

Scar got a tip to keep a horse from wandering off inside a circle of berries from an e-mail. Only the best things come from e-mails.

Bdubs tries to prove scaffolding superiority to Scar. Etho and Cleo support the pitch. Scar is disappointed by mom and dad. Etho and Scar agree to give it a try sometimes. Bdubs says Tango puts redstone on scaffolding sometimes, Etho is horrified. Etho shows them that you can use scaffolding to clutch a fall. Scar tries it because it would also work on leaves – unfortunately Etho forgot to tell him that you need to crouch and he dies. He´s not going to be happy, but ultimately it was clearly his own fault. It´ll take him a while to come back, Bdubs feels like he should go get him but Etho and Cleo need to leave.

#zombiecleo #hermitcraft #hc s10 #hermitcraft streams #...this got a bit out of hand oops

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atinylittlepain · 6 months

Text

Chapter Six

no-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!oc

series masterlist

series playlist

warnings: 18+ heavy angst, references to past injury related to DV

a/n: so we are in for another heavy sitting. as always, my goal is always truth, nothing gratuitous, but honest. my DMs are always open, I'd love to hear what you're thinking about this one.

..........................................

Step into the light poor Lazarus

Don't lie alone behind the window shade

Let me see the mark death made

I dream a highway back to you

I dream a highway - Gillian Welch

.........................................

Where does the thaw begin? It is always gradual. Always give and take. Taking tentative, preening steps out into the sun one day, only to be snapped back into place by a sudden snarl of cold the next. But eventually, that perpetual dull thrum of white starts to melt. The streams in the mountains swirl and slurry up with it, a froth of life that churns down into the rivers that run a faint thread along the highway. Boulders will be moved, small trees uprooted, a whole new season breeding activity. The landscape rearranged, reconfigured until eventually, settling, eventually, green.

The flock is certainly happy for it, proud and relieved bleats, their heads tossed back in the clear, cool morning air. The two newest members of the group are still getting their legs under them, a little uncertain in maneuvering around the remaining slush, quick clipped jumps and jolts to catch up with their mother. And Dove is never far behind these days. Not even Dolores in his mind any more. Dove, Dovey, Dovey-girl whenever they go down to the bar and she’s beating him or John at darts.

Punch and Judy might like her just as much as they like their mother, necking and nuzzling up against her shins like cats, contented sounds whenever she greets them in the morning. Joel tends to hang back, letting her make her rounds, inarguably the favorite of both flock and feather. A gift, bells of laughter and the bright glint of her smile, even when she catches his eyes from across the field, like maybe it could be for him too. And then he remembers that is it for him too, because she always comes back, always comes to him with her eyes squinting into the sun and her smile slanting with the scrunch of her nose.

“They’re getting bigger everyday.” He thinks to himself that he wishes she wouldn’t remind him. Time has a way of getting parceled and pinched out here. Secret time, stolen time, no one paying much attention to time. How long has it been? Counting months in his mind as they make breakfast. He figures nine by the time they sit down. So much time. Time he has been greedy with. Enough of it that she may no longer need to stay. Or may no longer want to. He winces into his mug, small, sharp hurt that he is all too familiar with. Doubt makes him sulk, makes him slump. But then she always does something like she does right now. Touching just to touch. Something curious about it, like she is still unsure if she is allowed to, like this is not something she has had before now. Careful fingers curling around his wrist from across the table, coaxing his palm up to the ceiling so she can press her hand flat against his. He can feel her pulse where the pads of his fingers rest against the soft inside of her wrist, steady, with the occasional stutter.

“Do you want to go tonight?”

“If you do, yes.” Who says what, it doesn’t matter. Call and response goes both ways for them. If you do, then I do, and if I do, then you do.

“We don’t have to stay long.” Always giving her an out. She curls her hand around his.

“You just don’t want to lose at darts again.”

“You always win.”

“Don’t be a poor sport about it, I won’t want to play with you any more.”

“Hey.” That smile is for him, no question.

…

It isn’t often that Joel gets anything in the post. There is a mailbox at the end of the dirt road leading to the house. It has a large dent in its side, and has since he bought the place, near impossible to pry open. The mailman’s frustration with it is clear in how the lid is now hanging off its hinges, some sort of envelope, thick and obvious, sticking out of it as they drive home in the afternoon.

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t expecting anything.” But he knows exactly what it is when he opens it, the knife he used to slice through the top of the padded envelope clattering onto the dining table when he pulls out a thick stack of documents from inside.

On top is a birth certificate. A hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska, and the first name is Dolores. And he shouldn’t, but she’s still toeing out of her shoes and hanging up her coat, so he quickly thumbs through the rest. A packet, and he recognizes what it is immediately. All those years ago, with Sarah’s mom, he got a packet that looked just like this. Divorce papers.

“Joel?” It startles him, and he knows he’s been caught, quietly setting the stack of papers down on the table, not quite able to meet her gaze.

“Those are for you.” He can’t watch, only catching a glimpse of the way her brow pulls down, a slight frown as she pads around the side of the table to get a better look.

“Oh.” She doesn’t pick them up, just drags her hand across them to fan the papers out on the table. And it’s a posture he hasn’t seen from her in a long time, the way she curls her arm back into herself, everything shutting and shuttering up tight and small. No, he can’t watch, but he can’t walk away either, shifting in his boots, his eyes landing on her only to flit away fast. She’s not moving, and he’s not sure if she’s even breathing, it’s that silent, save for the soft creak of the floorboards with his anxious shuffling.

“Do you have a pen?” It takes him a breath to realize that she’s asking him, and then he sets himself into stuttering motion. His hands feel too big, too shaky as he fumbles through the junk drawer in the kitchen, though something has changed in Dove, her shoulders straightened and smoothed out when she takes the pen he offers her. She hunches over the table, squinting through each page, a quick flurry of signatures that he knows she shouldn’t be dashing down so fast. But there’s no stopping her. Rampage and war path all in one, she huffs when she gets to the end of the packet, pinning the whole stack down with the pen and stepping back from the table like she escaped from something just in time.

“When do you want to leave for the bar?” She asks it light as air, a strange rolling back of her shoulders, her eyes settling somewhere just past him, not quite meeting him. He has to gather himself before he answers, stunned, and a little spooked, if he’s being honest.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“What does that mean?” All edge and ice, his stomach lurches quick and awful at this new thing, this very new, very frightening thing that she seems to be doing.

“Nothing, Dove, it doesn’t mean anything. But we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to.”

“Okay.”

Dinner is tight and silent as a fist. Neither of them looking at the other. She pushes the food around her plate, though he’s not sure if any of it actually gets eaten. And he can feel his own frustration mounting, that urge to get just a little big, and a little loud, to tell her no, to put his foot down, to stop whatever this is. But he knows that whatever this is, no matter how mean she makes it look, it is a hurting thing.

So they go to the bar, and he lists at the periphery of the small crowd, making meaningless conversation with Rod about the weather while he keeps the lion’s share of his attention on Dove.

She doesn’t like to drink, not usually. Most of the time, she’ll politely sip down half a beer, promptly handing it to Joel for him to finish. But tonight, she has already lined up three tidily finished bottles on the table next to where she’s playing darts with John, and while everyone else is jovial, enthused and amused by this sudden outgoing shift in her demeanor, all Joel feels is a nervous stutter in his chest.

He watches, quietly and carefully, until he cannot stop himself from stepping in any longer. It’s quick, the way she stumbles back into a table, sending a few bottles rolling over onto the floor before John can hook a steady arm around her shoulders. It’s enough to get Joel moving.

“John, I think it’s time for us to be heading home.”

“John, I think it’s time for us to be heading home.” It’s slurred and stilted, a garish mimicry of his voice that she punctuates with a hiccup and a fragment of a laugh, still slightly swaying from her hold on John’s arm. And when Joel reaches for her, a murmured please, Dove, pain wraps itself around his heart, an awful throb of it, when she jerks her arm away from him, stumbling over her feet and in turn nearly causing John to lose his balance. She is mean like this, he realizes, meanness that he didn’t know she was capable of. A hot scoff and an I’m fine sharp from the back of her throat, steeling herself away from John and holding onto a table to steady her shake. Joel swallows around heat and sickness in his throat watching the broken sigh that curls in her shoulder blades. Not mean, after all, but hurting.

“Yeah, I’d say so. I think Dovey-girl here had a little too much fun tonight.” He knows it’s John’s weak attempt to smooth whatever tension seems to be hissing. Right, fun. Joel tries for what he can of a smile, though it’s more grimace than anything else, quietly coaxing an arm around Dove’s waist, not even sparing John a second glance as he shuffles them out of the bar and into the quick snap of cool night air.

She’s laughing, her head thrown back on her neck, lolled to the side. And it isn’t the laugh he has gotten used to. It’s a bitter thing, an ugly thing, mingling and mixing with that broken rasp of hers. A miracle that he can get her into the car. Usually so tentative with touch, her hands are everywhere, skittering up his chest, tugging in his hair, pulling at his coat, his belt, all while slurring soft iterations of his name. He feels like he’s going to throw up. And maybe it’s a little mean, the way he collects both her wrists in one broad palm and tucks them pointedly in her lap. For a moment she stills, a tremble in her lip that he thinks is threatening tears, but then she tilts her head back in another sharp giggle, distracted enough with her own unraveling that he can shut the passenger-side door and hurry around to his side of the car.

The roads are dark, the mountains the faintest purple shadow in the distance. He rolls all the windows down, hoping that the swift whip of wind might help sober her up. She’s silent in the passenger seat, but he can feel her heavy stare, her cheek dropped down to her shoulder to look at him.

“Joel.” Lilting and long, a little sing-songy call of his name, Jooooel. He doesn’t indulge it with any attention, keeps his eyes focused on the road getting eaten up by headlights in front of them. But she doesn’t abide by that for long. He tries to shake it off at first, jostling his knee like that might make her take her hand away. A quiet don’t, do not, Dove, when her palm starts to skirt higher, curling around his thigh. And it becomes too much so suddenly, so quickly.

“Godfuckingdamnit!”

In a blink, in the time it took for her hand to brush against the in-seam of his jeans, he has driven them off the road and into the soft, new grass on the side of the highway. He has gotten loud, and he has gotten big, shoulders hulking up toward his ears as his eyes flash, frenzied, over to her. And she has gotten small again, pressed back against the passenger-side door, silent and unblinking. He has scared her. But she has scared him as well.

Neither of them say a thing. He allows himself two deep breaths, and then he guides the car back onto the road.

She is still, subdued, and when he finally parks in front of the house, he realizes that she has fallen asleep, her lips parted and her head tilted back. He had hoped that she wouldn’t, but she stirs when he opens the passenger door, an indignant sound in the back of her throat as he unbuckles her seatbelt for her. He moves to take his hand away, but she catches his wrist, a weak hold that he doesn’t resist.

At first, he cannot understand what she’s saying, something mumbled and murmured, her lashes dropped down to her cheeks. She says it once, twice, and it starts to become clearer. You, me, you don’t, me, you don’t want me.

“That’s not true, Dove.” She sighs, running her thumb over his knuckles, her weepy eyes flickering up to his beneath her brow. And it’s terrible, tearing something open inside of him when she tries to lean forward, tries to pull him closer, tries again. Terrible that he has to press a hand to her shoulder to keep her from doing something that she will surely regret. Something he doesn’t know if she would even want, if not for the haze she is in. Maybe the most terrible part of it, actually.

And then that same chorus. You don’t want me, want me, want me, you don’t want me. And he could laugh, and he could cry, because all he has been doing is wanting her, and trying to stop himself from wanting her.

“Not like this.” He says it so quiet, he doesn’t know if she hears it, listing somewhere between consciousness and sleep. If she does, she shows no sign of acknowledging it, just letting out a long string of sighs as he helps her out of the car and into the house.

Her face is tucked into the side of his neck, blowing hot breath against his skin as he makes the awkward stumble up the stairs with her clinging under his arm. He manages to get her shoes off, and her coat, which once was his, but has been hers for a while now. It’s silent, save for her quiet murmurs of protest to any movement, eyes scrunched shut as he coaxes her under the covers. All she offers is one more sigh of his name, like penance or prayer, before she slips back under merciful sleep’s thumb.

Joel doesn’t get into bed with her. He can’t. He knows that he can’t, not right now. So instead, he sits down on the floor with a quiet groan, letting his back rest against the wall across from the bed, his head tipping back, like maybe there might be some sort of answer in the vertical.

There is no answer.

…

The difference between grief and mourning is noun and verb. Grief, the thing, and mourning, what you do with it. Never pretty, never perfect, never graceful, or gracious, any of it.

When Sarah was in middle school she went through a phase of being interested in the paranormal, in death, and what might come after it. Every night, Joel would come home and find her on the couch, watching the same show in which people recounted all their various and supposed hauntings. It had worried him at the time, going to his mother, even to Tommy, asking them if they thought it was strange. It would pass, the advice he received from everyone around him. Being young, it’s natural to wonder if and when the time for all of that to end will come. So when he would come home at night, he would wordlessly join her, somewhere between awake and asleep, half-listening to the television. But now, he remembers something that was said through the thick static of cable. Unfinished business, right, hauntings happen when patterns must be returned to and repeated. Phantom figments playing out all that was left unsaid, undone.

What happened last night had nothing to do with him. He is pretty certain it could have been anyone sitting in the driver’s seat alongside her. All that Dove needed was a willing participant, a captive cast member, to enact a haunting of her own, to close some gap, stitching some snapped thread in her mind. No, nothing to do with him, nothing at all.

At some point, sleep caught him, slumped to the side, a sharp pain in his neck when he wakes up, still seated on the floor. Dove isn’t in bed, a rumple of sheets where she had been laying. He’s too tired for that quick pulse of panic to fan into any real flame, but he does consider it. That maybe this is what leaving looks like.

But no, he stumbles out onto the porch, hurting with how bright it is, no. She is out there with the flock, still in her clothes from last night. He can only see her back with the way she is sitting in the field, spine curled over and into itself.

Shame settles thick and toothsome in his gut, though why he isn’t sure, anxious and awkward in how he comes to stand just in her periphery, letting presence be known, but not needed. She is crying.

“I am so sorry, Joel.” She says it plainly, voice flat and distant. And he isn’t going to say that it’s alright, because they both know that whatever that was, nothing about it was right. Purposeful, but not intended for pain. When cornered, a wounded animal will lash out against anything that moves, innocent or arbiter.

“I know you are, Dove.” When he takes a step closer to her, Avril lets out an indignant bleat from where she is watching a few paces away, part of her flock, a warning that she will do more if she does not like what she sees. Under any other circumstances, Joel would roll his eyes at the animal, ridiculous, but today it keeps him at a distance, sitting down far enough from Dove that he could not reach for her if he tried. And he would like nothing more than to reach for her, to forget what happened last night, to go back to the way things were. A stupid wish, a childish wish, one that cannot be made real.

“I don’t ever want to be like that again.”

“You aren’t like that.” And he means it. That wasn’t her, not the present her. A ghost somewhere inside of her that found its way to the surface, breaking beneath her skin.

“I understand if you want me to leave.”

“I don’t.”

“I was awful to you.” He doesn’t speak at first. Because yes, it was awful. An awful thing that makes him feel sick now even thinking of it. And awful too, that he knows he would forgive her of anything. Already forgiving this.

Punch comes wobbling up to her, taking the laces of her boots in her mouth before snuffling up her leg, nosing under Dove’s palm, intent on affection that she is so willing to give. Maybe they have let these girls get too domestic, a little too comfortable with humans, but he doesn’t care, watching a watery smile try to spread across Dove’s lips as she scratches behind the lamb’s ears.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts, but I deserve it.” No, he thinks, none of this has been deserved. A strange cascade of poison. Cause and terrible effect.

When he reaches for her, Avril abides, plodding away, if not a little indignant. He takes up her hand in his, and though ligament and lines remain limp, she lets him, still not looking at him, but letting him.

“I am so sorry.”

“I know you are.”

…

He takes care of it for her. Seals the packet of paperwork back in the envelope and writes the requisite address on the front, tucks the whole thing in the backseat of the truck. And they move like careful planets, still in orbit, but trying hard not to touch, to linger.

The first thing he does after dropping her off at the diner is go to the post office, though he thinks twice of it. Reopens the envelope in the driver’s seat for the third time now and reads through the whole thing, every condition, every clause. A clean break seems to be the sum of it, nothing glaring to any of it. So he closes the envelope one more time, and posts it back to Nebraska.

It’s a wordless communication, the way she turns in the passenger seat to check for it when he picks her up in the afternoon, settling back when she sees that it is gone. Still smarting, both of them, they move carefully through their usual errands, the grocery and the library, the drugstore for a new bottle of Advil for her.

Her voice has gotten worse over the months, since what happened in November. The word that she uses for it, not what he would call it, worse. Usually the hardest to hear her in the mornings, words cracking into whispers or suddenly stuttering up a pitch. He knows it upsets her, how she will quickly close her mouth mid-thought, lips pressed in a thin line like she couldn’t stand for any more of that sound to come out. He brought up the idea of taking her to see a doctor in Denver once, and she had scoffed, the whites of her eyes showing with their roll because no insurance, and what money she has, set aside for a different problem entirely. She hadn’t let him even begin to say that he would help her cover it.

Today, it is particularly bad. Not in how it sounds, at least not to him, but in how it is clearly painful for her to speak, wincing around the few things she does say, the menial mundane things of errands, clearing her throat in between each response, a hand curled and hovering over the front of her neck, not touching, but sensing something that has seemed to change permanently.

Maybe the alcohol, he thinks, the abrasive slip of it down her throat. Or maybe the fact of loud, the loudest he had ever heard her, those clipped laughs. Maybe a combination of the two. Whatever it is, he can see her frustration mounting with it, until finally, she sits with a terse crease in her brow and her lips kept in a stoic pinch on the drive back home. Betrayed by her own voice, in more ways than one.

The only thing she does say, once the groceries are put away and Joel is preparing to help her make dinner, a rattling rasp, I’ll do it. A wave of her hands, away and behind her, and he won’t argue, worried she might cry if she has to speak any more.

Disappointed that it’s him and not her doing the evening rounds, the sheep are at best tolerant of his care, keeping a dignified distance as he fills their water troughs and checks on the lambs. The chickens are less loyal, and more stupid, he thinks to himself, but even they seem a bit jaded when he is the one that shuts the coop for the night.

The house is warm when he comes back inside, windows spilling syrup into the oncoming night. It smells good, salt and savor, something simmering on the stove. A strange contrast, the inherent life that a kitchen suggests, and the solemn way she is moving around it. Recompense, remorse, heavy things pulling at her shoulders, curling her smaller over pots and pans.

“This looks good, Dove, thank you.” She nods, passing him a full plate, warmth seeping into his palms from the bottom of it. But when they both sit down, he recognizes it immediately, so many steps back. Her hands are in her lap, and he already knows that she’s waiting for him to start. Doing that thing again, and he can do it too. Fork and knife remain untouched, he sits back in his chair, a small challenge. Maybe ten minutes pass like that, the steam from their plates long dissolved into the air, when she finally looks up at him, frustration clear in the pull of her brow.

Something that she learned. Something that was taught to her, just like all the rest of her fear. Back when she first came to stay with him, she was always apologizing, always thanking. And the cooking, and the waiting for him to start before she would even consider her plate. Like punishment, like always being aware of some score, and afraid of what might happen if she does not balance it. And he’s watching her sink back into it, all of it, right now.

“Dove, please.” She blinks at him, a slack frown pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“You should eat, Joel.” She puts every ounce of sound she can behind it, and it still comes out quiet, a quick burst of decibel on eat, like her voice tried to kick up in her chest just enough to end on a good note, though his name comes out the softest of all of it, a whisper that seems to hurt.

“So should you.”

“I will.”

“Now, please.”

“I feel terrible.” And he knows that she isn’t talking about her lingering headache, not even the pain in her throat. He knows that she has probably been exacting perfect retribution on herself in her mind, all day. She looks miserable, because she has made herself miserable with guilt that has festered into shame.

“I forgive you, I do.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“You didn’t mean it.” Her eyes flicker, so small he might have imagined it. But no, something shifts behind her grimace, and he realizes that he might be wrong, that there had been some truth to her want last night. A want that she doesn’t know how to manage, a want that she doesn’t know what to do with. A want like his.

“I don’t know how to, Joel.”

“That’s okay.”

“I don’t think I can stand it.”

“What can’t you stand?”

“For you to not–” She cuts herself off, a sharp breath that threatens tears. But he knows it’s the same thing he’s afraid of that she is speaking to. Want can be so violent, so rash, so wicked and wretched in how big and bold and blustering it can get. But really, it is a child, hoping that someone will hold its hand, hoping, for once, that someone will walk it home, see it through the night.

“It’s the same for me, Dove. I can’t stand it either.”

On her terms, the only way this will ever work, he offers a quiet come here, please, pushes out his chair from the table, and waits for her to respond, to react. And yes, it takes time, but eventually, she does.

“Warm.” Said to herself, maybe not meant to be said at all, her eyes intent on where her palm splays over his chest. He places his hand over hers, keeping it there.

There is no one around for a good few miles, but here is what the coyotes see in the yellow drip of light coming from the kitchen windows. A man, sitting in a chair pushed back from a dining table, and a woman, standing between his legs, her hand on his chest, and his hand on her hand. And they are not smiling, neither of them, and they are not speaking either. They are looking at each other. The man places his other hand on the woman’s waist, and he gives her a small nod, a making sure, making okay. The woman nods too, and she lets her other hand settle along the man’s jaw.

But people are very boring to coyotes, especially broken ones like these, so they do not stick around to see the rest, skittering off with a chorus of yips and clackering sounds, seeking their own small satisfactions.

No, the coyotes do not see when the woman carefully dips her face down, nor do they see the man tilt his chin up in answer. And the coyotes certainly do not see the small, shivering kiss that is over as soon as it starts. Two shadows turning into one, and only the smallest sliver of light between them when they separate again.

The coyotes have much more interesting matters to tend to than such human things. After all, spring has finally come to the mountains.

..............................

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futurehunt · 4 months

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"You're not the person I want to explain myself to." -Eris Vanserra and his hidden motives

The story of Eris Vanserra haunts me. At this point, most of the characters in ACOTAR are an open book in terms of their backgrounds but Eris's is still so shrouded in mystery and I have to know more. Consider this the inspiration for my following lengthy analysis of all the Eris Vanserra scenes we've been given. Additional inspiration being this clip of SJM from a since deleted live stream on Instagram (still available on YouTube) :

Love that SJM says that Eris is her favorite Autumn Court character but more importantly she spills a little detail about Eris having a secret history and a secret motivation behind his character. I think most readers assumed by now that Eris is primed for a redemption arc but this simply could've been reserved to him making amends for leaving Mor injured in the woods. No, this is something more than that- something significant that affected his actions back then and is still influencing them now.

Let's start breaking everything down:

Everything starts with: Eris found and left Mor in the woods at the Autumn Court border after she was tortured dumped there by her father, Keir.

Why did he do this?

“I knew why you did it... So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms" - Eris in ACOWAR

After Mor slept with Cassian, Eris knew Mor did it because she wanted out of the engagement (for a secret reason- on her end- that we'll touch on in a bit) so he ended the betrothal as she wished.

But why did Eris leave her there, injured with fatal wounds? This is still the biggest point of hostility between him and the IC.

"There were forces at work that you have never considered," Eris said coldly. "And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me" - ACOWAR

What are these forces?

We're given an answer to this question during a scene in ACOFAS when Mor is recalling the memory of that day at the Autumn Court border.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.” Cold, unfeeling words. “But—but they nailed a—” “No one touches her.” - ACOFAS

If Eris or his men provided aid to Mor she would've become their responsibility, implying that she would've become a ward of the Autumn Court essentially. This is probably why Keir even dumped her on the border in the first place, because he knew that if the Autumn Court provided her aid they would have to assume responsibility for her. It was created as a lose-lose situation for Mor: get help from Eris and be trapped at the Autumn Court or be refused help and left to suffer and potentially die in the woods.

“I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.” She would rather die here, bleed out here. She would rather die and return—return as something wicked and cruel, and shred them all apart. He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.” -ACOFAS

He knew she'd rather die than live there so he acted according to her wishes, even though it was done cruelly. This scene, which we're given from Mor's perspective, shows that she heard the true reason why Eris refused to provide her aid but because of the trauma of the whole situation she likely never put two and two together.

But the situation is a bit more complex than that. There is more to the reason that Eris left her in the woods to have her freedom.

“Eris nodded to where Mor watched them from beside Feyre and Rhys, her face neutral and aloof. “She knows the truth but has never revealed it." “Why?” “Because she is afraid of it.” - ACOSF; dance scene between Nesta and Eris

Eris knows something about Mor that she's afraid to reveal. What's the only fact we know about Mor that she's been hiding her entire life? That she's queer. It seems somehow Eris was aware of this.

“Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. "I knew why you did it" Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking." -ACOWAR

Later on in ACOWAR, we find out the big secret Mor is hiding is that she's romantically attracted to females. Alright, so somehow Eris knew Mor was queer back when they were betrothed. It seems that this was part of the reason he left her to her freedom.

Despite the cruel nature he's described to have, Eris keeps the knowledge that Mor is queer to himself. Eris left Mor in the woods because he knew she wanted her freedom and the reason she wanted her freedom was because she is queer. Out of some uncharacteristic kindness, Eris won't share this information with the rest of the IC because he seems to not want to out her because he knows she's afraid of the truth. Refer to the quote between Eris and Nesta above for proof of this.

But what are Eris's own secret motivations in all of this?

“So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

This is such an important line and one that if you don't dissect it properly, you won't understand it's real meaning.

"What it cost me". The cost that Eris is referring to is one that he suffered as a result of leaving Mor unaided in the woods. NOT from breaking the engagement, from leaving her. "The cost" is something that would've been unaffected by breaking the engagement (because Eris has no remorse over that) but affected by abandoning an injured Mor (because this is what Eris labels as one of the few things he regrets). Mor being left in the woods was, in the grand scheme of things, inconsequential for the rest of Prythian. The only people negatively affected by it were Mor and the rest of the IC.

"Perhaps one day... I shall tell you why" when Eris says this, he means: perhaps one day he'll them why he regrets it, NOT why he did it. It's important to read this quote in the context of its surrounding passages because you'll see that he had an opportunity to explain why he left her but he instead tells Mor he's not going to "waste his breath explaining it to her."

So after breaking down those lines we know: Eris regrets abandoning Mor because of something it cost him in relation to the IC now hating him after the events at the border but "the cost" is something he's hesitant to reveal to them.

For the sake of the analysis, let's go over a few things we know Eris does canonically care about and why they are not the cost he's referring to:

His father's throne: It's not secret that Eris wants to usurp his father. Feyre even notes how startled she was to hear Eris discuss killing his father so blatantly. Also, if the marriage to Mor would've aided Eris in taking the throne then Eris would've expressed remorse at ending the engagement but he didn't. He only regretted leaving her injured.

His mother, Lady of Autumn: The text shows us that Eris is concerned over the welfare of this mother when he angles his body to protect her during the High Lord meeting scene. However at the time of Eris's betrothal to Mor, his mother wasn't miserable in her marriage the way she's described now. It wasn't until LoA's affair with Helion was revealed, which happened decades after the Eris and Mor situation, that Beron began abusing his wife. Of course, Eris undoubtedly wants his father dead because of this but we know it's not "the cost" that Eris references since it wasn't a factor at the time.

“Helion shrugged. “On and off for decades. Until Beron found out. They say the lady was all brightness and smiles before that. And after Beron was through with her. You saw what she is.” “What did he do to her?” “The same things he does now.” Helion waved a hand. “Belittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them.” - ACOWAR

Lucien: Eris has a soft spot for Lucien but he wasn't born for decades after everything happened so he can't be a factor in why Eris regrets his actions.

His father tortures him: It's revealed at the end of ACOSF that Beron tortures Eris after Cassian realizes Eris is injured after returning back from Autumn. We're not told how long it's been occurring and Eris is extremely reluctant to speak on the matter. However, if this was the big secret Eris has been hiding there'd be a bit more emphasis placed on the reveal. In fact, Cassian pushes him again after that to tell him the true reason he left Mor on the border (keep in mind Cassian doesn't know Mor is queer and Eris is refusing to reveal that information to others) and asks Eris for the real reason he's back the Night Court trying to make amends.

Why is Eris back at the Night Court after everything that happened, pushing so hard to build an alliance?

When pushed for the truth, Eris tells Cassian:

"You're not the person I want to explain myself to" - ACOSF

Cassian assumes Eris means Mor and tells him she won't want to hear his explanations anyway. But is Mor really the person Eris was referencing. I think not, given we've been given these lines:

Eris nodded to where Mor watched them from beside Feyre and Rhys, her face neutral and aloof. “She knows the truth but has never revealed it." -ACOSF

"There were forces at work that you have never considered," Eris said coldly. "And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me"- ACOWAR

Eris says that Mor already knows the truth and has explicitly said he doesn't care what she thinks about him. He has nothing to explain to her. And aside from those two facts, which already make it clear enough that Mor is not the person Eris meant, what more would Eris gain from speaking to Mor? Assuaging his guilt? That could be a reasonable explanation if it weren't for Cassian already asking Eris if guilt is what was motivating him, Cassian realizing it's not and pushing for Eris to "give me a damn answer".

"You're not the person I want to explain myself to"

So, who in the IC does Eris want to explain himself to?

Mor? No, for reasons stated above

Cassian? No, they're speaking in that scene and if Cassian were the person then Eris wouldn't have said that

Feyre? Nesta? Elain? Weren't alive so aren't applicable

Lucien? Wasn't alive during the incident and is thus unaffected

Rhysand? We're told in ACOSF (Chapter 7) that Eris already has Rhysand's trust and allyship

Amren? I guess I can't necessarily eliminate Amren as the person Eris wants to explain himself to but let's be real, it's not her.

Azriel? Hmm....The person who arguably hates Eris more than even Mor herself. Who has such a burning passionate rage towards Eris that he attacked him during a High Lord meeting, yet also dropped everything to fly to the Continent to save Eris when he was abducted by Koschei.

Conclusion and remaining questions

Let's put everything together:

Eris is back at the Night Court attempting to smooth things over, make amends, and build an allyship. On the surface, we're told it's all because he wants the throne. But what we now know from SJM (in her interview) and our textual analysis is that Eris paid a big, deeply personal price due to the fall out of leaving Mor injured at the Autumn Court border. This cost was directly tied to the IC's perception of him. Eris lost something or the chance at something when the Night Court began to hate him. So he's back, 500-ish years later, attempting to make amends because of the same problem that plagued him all those centuries ago. We also know there's only one person he's interested in explaining himself to- and that person interestingly seems to be Azriel. Why would Eris want to explain himself to Azriel? Why go to these lengths to make amends with him? Was "the cost" Eris paid 500 years ago tied to Azriel?Is this all tied to Eris's "secret history and secret motivations" that SJM referenced? Crack theory time: What if Eris and Azriel are mates? If they are, it would seem maybe Eris knows about it but Azriel isn't consciously aware? It could explain Azriel's extreme and passionate reactions to Eris. What if when Eris became an enemy of the Night Court he lost his chance at having a connection to his mate. It would also explain why Eris is so tight lipped about his secret motivations. We know that Beron tortures Eris as he is now, imagine what he would do to Eris if he found out he was queer. If Eris is queer it would also explain his empathy to Mor and his reluctance to tell her truth to other people. This could also explain why Azriel is the one person Eris wants to explain himself to, because Azriel is the only person whose opinion he cares about. AND this would also provide an answer to the great "Azriel mate debate". I know Gwynriel is a popular theory but the text has not given us any indication that they are (yes, bonus chapter included) and Azriel had never displayed any mate-like behavior around her. Eris and Azriel also provide interesting foils to one another: flame and shadow- which is a theme that's mentioned in both of SJM's other series. We also know how much SJM loves her enemies to lovers.

"There was an icy rage in Azriel I'd never been able to thaw" -Rhysand in ACOMAF

Azriel is routinely described as icy and frozen, physically and emotionally. What better to thaw ice than fire!

If you read this far- thank you and ily.

Feel free to let me know if you have any critiques to my reasoning!

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