Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
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tragic fictional siblings... save me...
tragic fictional siblings
save me tragic fictional siblings
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Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
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emily brontë receives the first kill yourself anon in 1848
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got thoughtful about opinions on bad books so here’s an inverse: what’s a book you had to read for school that you actually enjoyed/have grown to like? mine is Lord of the Flies
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Stories that would be improved by polyamory:
Dracula: it's basically a novel of kitchen-table polyamory already, but this way someone might actually kiss Jack Seward.
A Midsummer Night's Dream: just let them all have an orgy at the end. I feel like they'd be into it. Puck's invited too if he wants.
Bridget Jones' Diary: why force a choice between Mark and Daniel if there was the option to have both?
Any Arthuriana: less cheating, more honesty, fewer duels, more snogging, everyone's a winner.
Stories that would be made worse by polyamory:
Wuthering Heights: dear God do not give Cathy and Heathcliff a reason to drag more people into their terrible relationship than are already involved.
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kate bush photographed by barry schultz, 1979💐
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Emily Brontë, from Wuthering Heights originally published c. 1847
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knuckle tats that say YSIK YHMT (acronym for "you said i killed you—haunt me, then!")
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i hate you romantically involved characters who talk to each other like they’re in a couples counseling session, i hate you watering down of the word toxic, i hate you plot twists where the male love interest is actually a villain because see, silly girl? in the REAL world guys like that are DANGEROUS, i hate you relationship therapist breaks down movie couple’s relationship videos, i hate you “romeo and juliet were just stupid horny teenagers” “belle had stockholm syndrome” “wuthering heights isn’t romantic” hot takes, i hate you sanitization of romance in fiction
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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad!
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He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
Emily Brontë / Wuthering Heights
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