#or maybe i would get dismissed when i actually did have it bc i'm in one of those underdiagonosed groups and bc im so unsure i wouldn't be

[traumxrei-archive]

【 these returned affections 】

prompt #3: They just told him they liked him but they get shy and say “never mind, forget it” …and he wasn’t letting them dismiss it just like that (ft. jamil viper, kalim al asim)

gn! prefect (you/yours), drabbles, word count: 584 words

a/n: back at it again with the drabbles featuring, coincidentally, the scarabia duo !! it's so fun making scenarios for the both of them bc of how different their personalities are... anyways, hope you enjoyyyy

Kalim Al Asim

Kalim was...sleepy. Why was that? Well, he was lying down on his bed. And on a normal day that would've made him sleepy already. But there was a hand meticulously raking through his hair. The gentleness of it made him so...so sleepy....

"Senpai?" Your voice cut through his sleepy haze and he hummed in reply. "No, it's alright, you go to sleep." That was...a good suggestion. Kalim closed his eyes, feeling his breathing even out when he heard it.

"I adore you so much, Kalim-senpai," You sounded like you were smiling as you whispered.

Maybe he wasn't meant to hear that.

But Kalim was sleepy and he felt a smile unconsciously forming on his face, "I like you too." He was about to get comfortable again when your hand froze. Actually, your whole body froze.

He mustered the strength to blink the sleepiness out of his eyes, sitting up, "What happened?"

"Y-you just— Nevermind, I didn't...mean that in that way."

A pause.

"Oh," Kalim tried to swallow down the sadness he felt.

And the disappointment must've been plain on his face because you immediately backtracked, "Wait, no I mean, I do like you. A lot. But like I didn't mean to—"

"Does this mean we're dating?" Kalim blurted before facepalming. "Gah, sorry I interrupted you! What were you about to say?"

Your mouth drifted open and shut before you mumbled out, "Okay..."

"Let's go on a carpet ride," Kalim said excitedly before yawning. "Oh, maybe let's do it after we nap?" You just nodded, looking a lot more at ease. He poked your cheek, trying to see your smile that he loved so much. And he was successful, seeing a bashful smile spread on your face.

Kalim dragged you down to the bed with him, and this time, he fell asleep peacefully with you in his arms.

Jamil Viper

Jamil had been studying. Emphasis on the had, because truthfully his concentration fell into shambles as soon as you sat next to him. He understood, afterall there weren't many seats empty at the library. He still couldn't help but glance over at you every few seconds. If it were anyone else, He would be more than unruffled, but being face with you, the object of his affections...

Jamil turned off his music, keeping the headphones on his head as he drew in a deep sigh. That was when he heard your voice, speaking so low that he was sure only he could hear it.

"Jamil Viper, I like you so much."

Did...did you just—

Jamil ripped off his headphones with little grace, his voice breathless as he spoke, "What did you say?"

"You heard that?" There was panic laced in your voice. "I was just, uhm, complaining about Grim. Yeah."

"No," Jamil swallowed back a hysteric laugh. "You...you said you liked me. I had just turned off my music when you–"

There was a hand to his mouth, "Okay, okay, you can stop! Everyone's going to hear!" You lowered your hand when he nodded and you sighed, "I'm sorry. I do like you."

"You don't have to apologize for a thing, nur eini," Jamil said, grasping at your wrist. "I return those feelings. Of course I do." He pressed a kiss to your palm before entwining his fingers with yours and putting it under the table. Safe to say he spent the rest of his time at the library staring at you and squeezing your hand rather than studying. But it was worth every moment.

i hope you enjoyed the drabbles !! if you'd like to see more drabbles and ficlets with these prompts, check out the rest of ye olde 600 followers event. if you wanna see more of my other writings, check out the masterlist >:D

[ tiny translations !! 'nur eini' means 'the light of my eyes' in arabic >:D so jamil's calling you by that endearment <;3 ]

#/trau writes #kalim al asim #jamil viper #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts

[fatuismooches]

I'm coping so hard with the fact I'll probably have to wait ~2 years to see Pantalone bc he literally has no reason to leave Snezhnaya🙂💧

At the very least I hope to see Sandrone in Fontaine please, please, please

I heard theory that Arlie will betray the Tsaritsa (bc Childe said he'd do that and Scara called her "wolf in the sheep's clothing", plus in trailer she's surrounded by harbingers figures, but not a part of them). Maaaybe GI will finally add more morally gray characters in character rooster and Arlie will follow us (and become playable as a result) only bc of her own benefit (kinda like Yae Miko). One thing I want is - please, don't change her appearance, especially her clothes, she's perfect the way she is. Don't add her skirt or shorts with kneesocks, leave her her cool tuxedo😔

Another theory I heard is that her arms are black not bc she's wearing gloves, but it's a damage from using delusion. Which... Gives me a small angsty idea. As we saw in Inazuma archon quest, delusion drains vitality out of their user, as for Crepus - he was in such great pain from using it that Diluc had to kill him. So, imagine Reader being concerned for Arlie bc she's in pain after using her delusion, but she brushes it off, after all she's a high-ranked harbinger, maybe she'll even try to hide her pain from Reader as much as possible to not seem weak in their eyes

-can I be 🥀 anon if it's not taken yet?

LITERALLY SAMEEEEE 🥀 ANON IT'S LITERALLY NOT FAIR AT ALLL 😭 Pantalone really is chilling in Snezhnaya, controlling the economy and money flow ig 😭🚶‍♀️ I also can't think of a reason why he would leave, other than perhaps a Liyue mission, because Yelan does say he has his eye on Liyue. I do have a lot of faith that Sandrone will appear in Fontaine, so I'm very excited for her at least!

Yup yup I've heard that theory too! I think it's super cool, and I can really see it happening. But it also makes me wonder how she'll survive if she betrays the Fatui. The Fatui probably doesn't take traitors lightly so she might have a lot of people after her if she does betray them. Girl's gonna be on the run I guess. And now who's gonna run the orphanage? The Fatui are losing their top members hella quickly, makes me wonder how the fight against Celestia is gonna play out. And i completely agree, she needs to keep her tuxedo!! But if she does betray the Fatui, it'll probably end up getting changed a bit, just to cut off association with them.

I've been wondering for a while why her arms are black even though she's not wearing gloves, and that's actually a really interesting theory. I can see her as a person willing to do anything for her goals... even if that means she gets injured herself (though she's always ready to use someone else to take the fall for her.)

You did not need to be a fighter to know the dangers of using a Delusion. It could grant you unspeakable power, but also have drawbacks better left to the imagination. Sure, the Harbingers were capable of controlling it. But sometimes things don't always go as planned.

She was strong, extremely strong, you believed that more than anyone. But you couldn't help but worry, especially when she nearly burst into your shared room, making you jump from the unexpectedly loud entrance. It seemed that she didn't expect you to be here right now, not at this time. You were usually elsewhere in the mansion. And she was usually not home at this time. And you immediately knew why.

"You're hurt," you quickly stood up. Something almost unnoticeable flickered in her eyes as she rebutted your statement.

"It is nothing. I am fine," she replied calmly, brushing off your words. You furrowed your eyebrows at her dismissal.

"Arlie, please consider taking a break from that... thing. It simply isn't good for-"

"[Name]. You know what my mission is. What I have to fulfill." Her voice came off sterner than she intended it to be and she realized as she noticed your quietness.

"There is no bleeding," she stated, returning to a softer tone. "I truly am fine. You need not worry. I just came to pick something up for business." You didn't want to sigh in front of her. Though her face had no trace of pain, you knew she was lying. She was hiding it from you.

You knew better than to push the subject. So right now, the only thing you could do was let it go, as you walked up to your lover and slowly wrapped your hands around her from behind. Arlecchino was still stiff from the tension in the conversation.

"Just... be careful out there." Arlecchino didn't respond, but she brought her hands up to cup your arms. Nothing else was to be said as the two of you stood there, relishing each other's company.

But your heart still hurt when you saw the medical supplies and pills you left for her were used.

#smooches talks #🥀 anon #arlecchino love notes <3 #man yall are quick with the arlecchino angst 😭 #but big brain 🥀 anon omg hurting my heart in the good way

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hey cove! as a poc moot I feel like maybe I should pitch in also?

first of all anyone who's been accusing you of being intentionally uninclusive needs to understand that trying to guilt someone who has expressed a real interest in changing things instead of advising them will not solve the issue, just exacerbate it. they aren't offering any meaningful criticism, they're just yelling at you without offering any suggestions, which serves 0 purpose

I also get why you're hesitant about not wanting to go too far in the other direction and end up stereotyping in the name of inclusion! you value your work and don't want to give it the hallmark treatment, which is very fair of you and a much better way of writing than just resorting to tired tropes for the sake of points

I also understand why the original anon was frustrated, and I'm happy you came to an agreement with them, because you made it clear that you can see what they were talking about and didn't dismiss anyone out of hand. secondary poc ask that mentioned preferring a nonspecific reader over tropey writing hit the nail on the head in my opinion actually!

what people need to understand is that trying to be inclusive by pulling out tropes is still alienating, just in a different way? alienation by omission is what happens when you're constantly left out, which is why people like og anon feel like they're not presented equally.... but on the other hand, stereotypical writing also frustrates us because it feels almost careless, that you're treated as an afterthought who can settle for anything.

and you're aware of this, which the hissing gollum anon needed to understand! you know how disrespectful that would be so you hesitated, and the phrasing was enough to set them off, which is ridiculous because they weren't civil with you themselves.

all told I feel like your need for a break is valid, and you need the rest from tumblr for a bit to gather your thoughts. I also feel like most of your poc audience agrees that more nonspecific descriptions are the way to go, especially because you don't feel like you can suddenly switch up your writing, and you acknowledging that and wanting to try is good, whether bridge troll anon thinks so or not

i know this is very long and a bit rambly, but I feel like you deserve a more mature response than what some people have been plying you with lately (also, some of the characters you are writing for literally are poc themselves....? they're acting you've done nothing and it's so strange.)

anyway, I hope your break treats you well! and remember, it is an option to turn off anon asks if you feel like it. stay safe out there and good luck with the sem!

— aru

firstly, i appreciate you voicing your opinion!! there is nothing more comforting than to hear from those who are actually in the community!!

something that i LOVE that you pointed out that i didn't even realize is the fact that they added NOTHING TO THE CONVERSATION!! all they did was criticize me without backing up your claims or even voicing your opinions in a constructive way. i learned nothing, except that youre a dickwad.

i do regret the way i phrased it, but i was legit trying to keep the mood light because that ask had been stressing me out for a few days...like, dry heaving shaking and just completely frazzled. so, i acknowledge that there were better ways i could have phrased it, but i was like two days deep into the most stressed i'd ever been in my entire life, so im cutting myself a little slack lmao.

everything you said in this is perfect, perfect, perfect. so eloquently put while also tearing those shitty ass anons down.

ive def thought about turning anons off but i feel it would be unfair to those who use it in a respectful manner for their own peace of mind. but its def something i've been considering bc ALL the trouble i have is with anons, from illegal requests to all this junk now. but idk idk

#return to sender ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ

[caffiene-fueled-fuckery]

hiiii can you do a deep dive into hawkeye's attachment styles pretty please :') i don't know much about attachment styles but i love psychology and i'm super normal about that guy (lying) so this is all fascinating 2 me !!!

Hi! I can certainly try!

I'm by no means an expert on attachment theory but I guess I can maybe talk about it since I'm studying it right now and have for a few years. I'm a psych major specializing in psychological development, and a lot of my interests and papers in the last few years have been on attachment theory specifically in adults bc believe it or not, most people think that it's only a thing when you're in infancy and early childhood. False! You actually grow an attachment network as you go from adolescence into adulthood and that's how it stays essentially, but your attachment style is important for the people you choose to be around and how relationship dynamics work (there's more nuance to this but I'm not really sure how to explain it without going super in depth). Anyway... Maybe I should do a general post about attachment theory.

For Hawkeye I think he's definitely in the preoccupied type, but he can also sometimes be a bit dismissing. Let's be real, Hawkeye has abandonment issues. If you think about it, he lost his mom when he was a kid, and it was pretty sudden. She got sick and he didn't really know what was going on, and his dad didn't tell him how bad it was. Then a few days later she was gone. Not only did he very suddenly lose a primary attachment figure, but he likely felt a sense of betrayal from his other primary attachment figure due to his dad not being honest with him. Yes, he was only a kid, but that doesn't stop him from feeling that way. That is still the case to a degree, he mentions it in that one episode... I think it's called Sons and Bowlers? When his dad was going into surgery for something serious and Hawkeye thought it could be cancer but he didn't find out until his dad was already in surgery and he spent forever trying to get through to the hospital. He was rantic and said something about his dad doing it again, likely meaning holding back the severity of an illness from him to protect him.

The loss of a primary caregiver is devestating to a young child even if they don't really understand what happened. The person they've relied on, who they knew was going to keep them safe and take care of them is just no longer there, whether they know why or not doesn't matter. Now, hawkeye I think was a bit older... 10, maybe? So he understood that it wasn't his Mom's intention, but that doesn't stop the pain. It seems very much like he clung to his dad after that, and he seems to have a very secure attachment to him. But I don't think that overall he has a secure attachment style. Definitely not.

The preoccupied attachment style is typically characterized by people who have positive views of others but negative views of the self. This usually means that they want close relationships but don't feel they're deserving of it necessarily or that they can trust others. In a modern sense, they'd be the person who'd text you a thousand times if you didn't respond. They can be clingy and they need reassurance. And while Hawkeye can be arrogant, I don't think he really likes himself that much. I can't think of anything speciifc he says but he definitely seems to think he's not a good person. He probably doesn't think he's ideal for a relationship. And we can see that in his interactions with his ex.

Carly and Hawkeye lived together for over a year, and he was devastated when she left him. Again, abandonment by another primary attachment figure. When she showed up at the 4077th he was hurt and a bit bitter, but when he talked to her he was desperate. He would do anything to keep her by his side, including marriage. And she knew it was desperation. A lot of it was his work that got between them, as she said, because he isn't someone who can put his work second. But another piece of those commitment issues might be that doubt or anxiety around relationships that are more than just sex.

This isn't just in romantic relationships. Think about how he reacted when Trapper left. He was so hurt that Trapper didn't even leave a note and chased after him to try and catch him before he left despite knowing he had little chance of catching him. He and Trapper were always together and he seemed a bit more secure in that friendship... but that went out the window when he left. Now, I don't really know that much about Trapper, esp since he was only in 3/11 seasons. But the effect he had on Hawkeye was immense.

You can see that in the way he interacts with BJ. He's clingy. He needs validation. He's scared of being abandoned again, whether or not he wants to admit it. And in GFA, he gets so irritated when BJ won't say goodbye. Hawkeye knows they won't see each other again, so leaving without a goodbye and a promise of seeing each other again is the same as being abandoned. BJ is important to him.

This validation isn't even just with BJ. It's pretty much with everyone. He cracks jokes and the laughter is validation. Sleeping with one of the nurses is validation. To me at least, he seems to feel inferior when comes to anything that's not surgery. Just as a person. But he also seems to have a defense against that, acting like all he needs are one night stands. Keeping the nurses at an arm's length, never going further emotionally than just sex. Which is why I said he could also fit the dismissing style a little bit, too. It's a defense mechanism so he doesn't get hurt. Dismissing is when someone has a positive view of self and a negative view of others, usually relying on being self-sufficient and independent, not needing close relationships even though they desperately want them. He just thinks people will leave him so he doesn't let people get to close to him. That seems to more be the case with women.

I hope this makes some sense! He has a bit of a mix of styles but I think more preoccupied than anything else. I wanna give poor Hawkeye a hug :(

#mash #m*a*s*h #hawkeye pierce #emm rambles

[capcavan]

okay anon from that one ask you reblogged i think i might have worded that a little wrong. its less about prettying him up or making fun content of him and more of a lot of people with few select exceptions either ignoring riko as a character because hes a bad person (majority) or ignoring rikos actions (which i have seen, though not often at all). i personally love your riko content, youre like one of the only people in the aftg fandom not afraid to do anything with him and explore his character. and this is not an attack on you or how you see riko but i wish more people took the time to analyze him. i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash, but i really wish there was more content only how other people see him too. i mean i get it hes a bad person and people dont like him but hes also a character. he isnt real riko moriyama will not jump you if you talk about him. sorry if that doesnt make sense when i sent that ask it was not about you at all

hi! please do not take my messages as some attempt at discourse i just believe that topics like this should not be left vague because different people put different amount of attachment to details [me for example due to my history in this fandom i do get pretty sensitive when vague things are said this way so i might have taken the general conversation personally but hey i am defensive of my little menace! someone has to! ] I'm glad you enjoy my stuff! > i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash Feel free to spam my inbox or i can add you on discord dm? i love talking about the lil bitch!!!! >or ignoring riko's actions (which i have seen, though not often at all) see this is the thing i am interested in because i OBSESSIVELY follow riko content , i spend DAYS brushing riko moriyama tag and digging up bunch of old abandoned blogs and i just never saw someone make claims like this! (id know i woudl def try to make friend with them lmao) I'm sorry if my approach to this case is dismissive maybe i really missed it but it kind of just feels like generalization of people saying ,, he did nothing wrong" as a meme , nobody who can read would actually genuinely believe this But please let me just say up front - i like talking about things and having discussion its not argument drama or discourse okay? no hard feelings anywhere , i really really am happy to be proved wrong (bc this means there is riko content somewhere out there i had not found yet GIVE ME )

#riko moriyama

[melonteee]

I hope it's ok to ask this but what's your take on Sanji stay in Kamabakka Kingdom? You mentioned in your queer analysis of OP that you had some thoughts abt it.

Personally i think that, even if all of that situation was handle horribly by Oda, and most likely as a joke, the insight it gives to Sanji is honestly kinda fascinating? Like you can interpret all his disgust as repression, either of his sexuality and gender. And in canon it also kinda explains his aversion bc of the whole weak and failure thing with Judge and his siblings. But idk, lol

I don't have the most insightful answer to this because my experience with gender is not the most complicated one (but at the same time I choose not to think about myself lol) BUT, as much as it can be seen as a gag - many do interpret it as Sanji definitely suppressing a LOT. Especially considering there's lines such as Sanji saying he feels he's 'becoming someone else', and the days he was dressed effiminately and accepting of it were the 'happiest days of his life'. He only breaks out of it due to the shock of Luffy needing him which is interesting HHH but what gets me is, we know Iva and the Kamabakkas don't do this maliciously? We know they do what they do to help people accept themselves (apart from that one Impel Down scene but that's far from Sanji), SO!

Sanji being told he has a maiden heart, Sanji being flustered wearing dresses and being embarrassed showing his panties (lol), it's not like the Kamabakkas are just pulling this out of their ass? I'm pretty positive both Luffy and Zoro would definitely not react the same way Sanji did, so the pinning of Sanji having a maiden heart definitely calls his reflection of himself and his connection with gender and femininity into question.

Put simply, I know why people don't like it, but I think it's strange people dismiss it as "Sanji was forced to do this and actually hates it" when it honestly reads more as; he's scared of this discovery of himself, so now he AGGRESSIVELY rejects it. Sanji's affiliation with gender is, in my opinion, rightfully talked about a lot - for many reasons. Sure, maybe Oda didn't mean it, but accidental or not, people can connect with the interpretations given to them.

So overall, it's certainly a conversation, and one I don't think should be so easily dismissed. Anyone can interpret it the way they want, but thinking it's crazy to talk about Sanji's relationship with gender when there's CLEARLY something there to talk about will always confuse me.

Tldr: Sanji is complicated and while the Kamabakka stuff was bad here and there, it also gave us an interesting insight on Sanji's relationship with gender 👍

#good ask #ask

[roobylavender]

genuinely curious bcs everyone and their mother is obsessed w barbie, why do u hate it lol ?? like criticism wise u mentioned the director before but anything else beyond that ? ( i haven’t watched it yet so i have no opinion)

the most pressing issue is that mattel is very clearly using it as a test to gauge whether it can create a cinematic universe consisting of its other sub properties so the entire movie is essentially nothing more than a greedy cash grab (which yes you could say most mainstream movies are cash grabs but i would liken this to the marvel movies wherein it's clear that intellectual property is used to maximally capitalize on a piece of media until it makes the most profit imaginable) and this is exacerbated by the fact that the movie pretends to criticize mattel and the purpose of barbie wrt consumerism but like. the movie is literally produced by mattel lmao. like no criticism within a movie being produced by the criticized entity is actually going to consist of genuine and good faith criticism. and obv most people's response to that has been well surely you couldn't expect anything more than liberal feminism from a barbie movie and it's like yeah i couldn't but that doesn't make it any less evil. a corporation pretending to appear self aware about its contribution to consumerism all the while funneling money into a project that only further encourages consumerism at a clearly exponential rate is evil. and maybe it's a harsh assessment on my part but i seriously am judging people who pay to see this movie bc of that!

when you get to the actual movie though my most severe criticism of it would be that it entrenches itself deeply in a bioessentialist gender binary. like idk if you've noticed all of the posts from people like wow girls are dressing up again and wearing pink and being encouraged to do girly things isn't that so amazing! it's like that infamous tumblr post that says liberal feminism discourse eventually circles back to what sounds like let men be masculine let women be feminine etc etc. the movie basically tries to create this metaphor via barbieland wherein the kens are the dismissed minority adjacent to what women are in the real world, in a satirical attempt to convey that feminism should not actually be about female dominance (what they purport barbie has come to represent) but about equality of the sexes and equality in the ability to pursue whatever you want to (hence a barbie does not have to conform to unattainable standards of success for women and a ken does not have to merely exist for the sake of barbie). which i will admit does have the potential to be a good message as far as liberal feminist movies will go, and there is a scene towards the end with barbie and ken where this is explained that happens to be one of two scenes i actually liked in the whole movie. but the problem is that the movie does an utterly shit job of actually building up to it, and it still ultimately sticks to and makes guiding posts of traditional notions of gender insofar as kens being masculine and barbies being feminine. the last few minutes of the movie involve barbie becoming a real woman bc she no longer wants to simply be an idea, so in her final scene she goes to a gynecologist bc she now has a vagina (something she did not have prior). and again like i'm not expecting a barbie movie of all things to have revolutionary takes on gender but i simply think the messaging is severely undermined when you're relying strictly on the gender binary to carry your storytelling. to the point that i believe all of the transphobic backlash to the movie is not only a consequence of people's own transphobia but also of the movie's inability to have anything but an utterly shallow take on feminism entrenched in the gender binary that merely believes we can learn by switching places with each other

and i mean on top of having shallow messaging it's simply.. not a well built movie lmao. the plot progression is haphazard and inconsistent due to an inability to flesh out either barbieland or the real world. america ferrera is the hero of the story bc her monologue about what women are expected to be by society is able to break the brainwashing spell over the barbies who have found themselves subservient to a ken takeover in barbieland once ken learns about patriarchy in the real world. but america ferrera is never actually developed as a character. we have one brief montage to indicate she has a poor relationship with her daughter bc she has always loved barbies whereas her daughter hasn't (the daughter also lectures barbie about how she's a fascist who encourages capitalism and consumerism. lol) but that relationship is never actually developed or dissected. we go from them seemingly not getting along to suddenly being the best of friends bc they go back to barbieland with barbie and decide to help her fix things and america's inspirational monologue brings her daughter around to barbie as a concept. it's just.. utterly silly. like not even in a good way silly, it's just stupid

and it frustrates me bc i do think there was a lot of potential to do something with the mother-daughter relationship esp considering its importance to the ending thesis of the movie in a scene between ruth handler and barbie (the other scene in the movie i actually enjoyed). like i would have been okay with a movie that acknowledged barbie was an influential media property for older women who had grown accustomed to nurturing baby dolls as children in preparation for motherhood, while acknowledging that barbie was no longer necessarily the same symbol of empowerment for modern generations of women bc of how the feminist movement has progressed and evolved. it's why i honestly think the movie should have been about the mother and daughter exclusively. like i don't even think barbieland should have existed nor barbies and kens been real characters bc it took away so much from conveying a message with even a drop of integrity. america's eventual monologue is so universal and lifeless and bland that it appeals exactly to the kind of crowd who are now making tiktoks and reels that the barbie movie is important for teaching people about feminism. like ok. sure. fuck you to intersectional feminism or anything grounded in the realities of anyone else other than white women whose only concern is not being able to conform to standards of success in the real world (and the ironic thing is the movie even makes an aside that margot robbie is the wrong person to cast to convey such a message, but like. what am i supposed to do with that. it accomplishes nothing)

i said as much on twt but i simply think there is no point to try to make a movie critiquing the scope of barbie when the answer is still ultimately barbie. a critique of barbie has to end in something other than barbie and when your movie is being produced by mattel that will never actually happen. which i do think can branch off into conversations about intellectual property and how creators are largely restricted from ever expanding upon properties they loved as children bc their ownership by media entities restricts creative output from the start (see: cape comics!). but i don't even think this is a matter of greta gerwig being restricted. she genuinely believes in this shtick bc she's always believed in it. her feminism starts and stops at white feminism and the smattered in visibility of minorities to feel like she is doing her part as an ally, when ultimately, she is doing nothing. lady bird and little women are not as offensive in this regard (albeit you may remember the latter movie has a very brief moment where marmy speaks to a nameless black woman as a moment of token recognition) bc their primary focus is not feminism and bc they are either constrained by autobiography or adaptation. it's great speaking either to what she knows or to what the author of a book knows. barbie is a movie about feminism, so it works best to reveal how utterly out of her depth greta gerwig is in that area as she tries to apply herself everywhere and fails. when people say it's better for straight white women to stick to what they know rather than rush to represent everyone in their work, they're right. there's no use in representing that which you will never live nor understand. and if people do identify with greta gerwig's brand of feminism, then i think it says a lot about how shallow their feminism actually is

#outbox

[acatalystrising]

Heya! For the emoji asks: 🙈 something they’re shy about asking for? Maybe for a twinkyoung! Boba, bc I can't see older Boba being ashamed of much (but perhaps I'm wrong?.. 👀)

ps: don't forget to drink water and stretch!

Hey anon! Thank you SO much for the request! I had sooo much cleaning this weekend for Thanksgiving prep, I was finally able to get back to writing. This is SUCH a great request because it gives me the chance to explore a side of Boba that not many people see.

I’ve been rewatching TBOBF yet again so between that and this question, I actually DO think older Boba would carry a sense of shame. He’s strong, powerful, and all that but he also is learning more about himself, who he is, who he’s been, and who he wants to be. Yes, he can be confident and commanding - we love that about him - but there’s hidden wounds that still exist beneath the mental walls harder than any beskar…wounds that need healing, too.

So without further ado, here’s a fun little exploration of all that! This is SFW, just with a lot of angst and fluff - I hope you like it! 💚🖤

Boba Fett had a certain quiet strength to him, even when he was simply standing, reading a room.

This strength didn’t diminish in the slightest when you two were alone.

You leaned against the stone railing of his balcony, the carved rock cool to the touch now that the suns had set. He stood beside you, green beskar glinting in the moonlight, brows furrowed as he looked out over the Dune Sea, mind wandering further then you wagered you’d ever travelled.

Your gaze roved the moon-washed dunes, tracing the shadows carved into the sand. You adjusted your poncho so it better shielded you from the cold even as a million thoughts raced in your mind. What all had he endured in his time after his escape from the Great Pit of Carkoon? What happened that changed such a hardened man? What losses did he carry on his shoulders?

“You look beautiful tonight.” His deep, rumbling voice broke you from your thoughts.

You turned your gaze from the desert to those dark, warm eyes. He was watching you, stern expression betraying a soft fondness you only ever saw when he looked at you.

“Thank you,” you dipped your gaze shyly, even as he shifted to fully face you, lifting a hand to gently caress your cheek. “So do you.”

He huffed, more of an exhalation of breath then a reply, but you quickly understood the dismissive response to your words.

“You do. I’m not just saying that,” you placed your hand over his, leaning into his touch. “One of these days you’ll have to believe me.”

Boba merely hummed a response, leaning down to capture your lips in his. You pressed into his armored chest to deepen the kiss, the beskar cool against your skin.

This was the game you played.

A dance of stolen, passionate kisses, gazes that burned like embers in the dark - but it never went further then that. You weren’t certain if it was simply a lack of attraction or hesitancy to get involved in a relationship, but it ate at you, even though you were like an addict, unable to stop returning for more.

“Boba,” your voice was soft when you both parted for breath, and he watched you closely, gauging your every movement. “Do you…like me?”

His dark brows flew up in what you registered as shock. “Of course I do, mesh’la. Very much so.”

You nodded, registering his words and running every action, every moment, through your mind. Then what was it? What were you missing?

“You’re upset,” he placed a hesitant hand on your arm, the warmth of his gloves welcome on your cool skin. “If I’ve done something wrong…please tell me.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” you felt a blush creep to your cheeks, unable to stop it from surfacing. “We’ve been seeing each other for a little while now. I just wasn’t sure what you…what we, wanted. You know, where we wanted this to go.”

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, lips pursed in thought. He lifted his hand from your arm, instead opting to cup your cheek, eyes nearly glittering in the dark.

“What is it that you want?” He raised a brow, the corner of his lip curving in a small smile despite the seriousness of his question.

You. You wanted to say. You, wholly and completely. All of you, all you have to give. Equally, I want to give you all I have. You, who deserves love, too.

His thumb brushed over your lip, making you shiver - a warmth curling through your body and coiling between your legs. Stars, no one made you feel the way Boba Fett did.

You. You were afraid to say, worried he’d reject you. You, you…

“You.” You weren’t sure what prompted you to speak your mind, his touch or your burning desire to know the answer and enough mad bravery for two seconds. “You make me feel safe, loved, seen…and I don’t know what you want. How far you want this to go…but I need to know where we want this to go.”

Before it’s too late and I see you as home…

“Oh, mesh’la,” the touch on your cheek turned to a caress, and his eyes carried a softness that nearly made you want to weep. He sighed, chin dipping, gaze flicking away from yours. “I want you too. Badly. But…I’m old. I’m not…”

He fell silent, something you could have sworn was shame flitting in his downturned gaze.

Stars, was Boba Fett, of all people, worried that you would reject him? He was always so strong, so immovable, you’d never thought that he’d think he wasn’t enough.

“I’m scarred, little one,” his voice was impossibly rough, quieter. “Haven’t been with anyone since the sarlacc. You deserve someone younger, not an old bounty hunter.”

Oh Maker, now it all made sense. Boba was afraid. Afraid that he couldn’t satisfy you, even though you had a very strong inkling he would.

“Boba,” you mirrored his gesture, this time placing your hand on his cheek, encouraging him to meet your gaze. “I’m not here out of pity. You are strong - the strongest person I’ve ever known. My feelings for you aren’t cheap, and I’m not expecting any more then what you want to give. But…I will ask you - what do you want?”

He hummed, moving his hand from your face to the back of your head, drawing you closer to him with a smile so genuine you swore it would rattle the stars.

“I want you, if you’ll have me,” his voice was soft yet rang with desire, so gentle despite the strength of the hands of the man who held you. “I’ve always wanted you, ever since we met. But I didn’t want to appall you. Didn’t know if…”

“You’re far too handsome for that,” you kissed him, taking the initiative, stepping closer. “You deserve love, Boba. And I do want you - I love you.”

His brows flew upward, shock registering on his features even as you kissed him again, hoping you could show him that yes, he could be loved. That he deserved it despite everything he’d done, the mistakes he’d made.

“I love you too, mesh’la,” his voice was rough like granite, taking a hoarse edge that made you grin. “You sure you want this?”

“I do,” you ran your fingers over the scar that wrapped around his head, and he shuddered, leaning into your touch and pressing a kiss to your wrist. “Let me show you.”

The hands that bore the blood of hundreds now so gently caressed you as he led you inside, helping you out of your clothes - lips dragging along your jawline, then your neck, as if you were his salvation.

And damn it all, as you helped him take off his legendary armor piece by piece, bearing him to you in all his glory; you swore you’d do your best to show him he was worthy of it.

#ask answered #boba fett x reader #boba fett x female reader #boba fett x f!reader #boba fett x fem!reader #boba fett fan fiction #boba fett fic #boba fett fluff #boba fett x you #boba fett #acatalystrising writes #my writing #oneshot prompts #the book of boba fett #tbobf #star wars #daimyo boba fett

[animecreator3000]

Every time I rewatch some episode of Boueibu HK I wonder again how the staff even planned this season. Like. Almost nothing meaningful happens with the characters

TLDR the characters with the most developement in HK are the monsters

Kyoutarou is there as a complete contrast to Yumoto while keeping the battle speeches so his characterization doesn't make much sense. Nanao is mere fujoshi bait. Taiju and Taishi have random bits of dialogue that hint at possible arcs for s2 but not enough to tell us what it really is. Maasa has an unfinished arc in his episode, where supposedly he's putting fatty butter in his cookies to make everyone else overweight because he resents Ichiro not defending him when they were little, but then his friends tell him it's fine and then he can move on??? This would work with Ichiro's theme of not wanting to be immature or dense anymore, except they only ever used this theme as a gag (misunderstanding the meaning of whatever the others have said) or to straight up humilliate him (ep4) and continue treating him like a stupid baby. At the end of the season Maasa and him have made peace somehow and that's it. Ata gets in my opinion the closest thing to a complete arc, even if it's just staring angrily at Kyoutarou for ten episodes, then explaining his problem while fighting him and finally getting his apology and reconcilliation. At least it's something. And poor Ryouma is just there to be the butt of a few jokes about how he lets Nanao and Kyoutarou use him, be in a couple of cute shippy scenes, and also for Ata to completely dismiss him from the flashbacks to the point where if they had first met in high school nothing would've changed.

The relationships barely have developement either. Love had anime episodes and manga chapters dedicated to the different close friendships solving their conflicts and becoming closer. There were also many instances of seeing how close the Hakone brothers-defense club and Beppu brothers' relationships were, and even though they didn't have any conflict between themselves, they made them strong sides for the final fight. Yumoto didn't get a character arc but through the entire anime he was revealed to be strong, considerate, forgiving and mature, willing to kindly befriend the Beppu twins for his brother but not let them walk all over him; contrary to how he was presented in the first episodes, like a stereotypical magical girl protagonist. Anyway in HK there's no meaningful conflict between any of them besides Kyoutarou and Ata. Taishi and Ichiro argue constantly but don't show to genuinely like each other after all like IoRyuu or EnAtsu did. Ichiro and Maasa never make any progress to be together again, Maasa hints once at liking Taishi and nothing comes from it, and Nanao and Taiju have the most artificial friendship in the cast that I just do not understand. They just ran an ice cream shop once with again unexplained success and make sassy remarks at each other ever since. And I guess Karurusu and Furanui had a bit of developement thanks to Kyou and Ata in ep12. Idk about the aliens, this time it's like they didn't do it completely well but also not as bad as with the rest of the cast. Maybe bc they didn't appear as much as the humans in most of the episodes

I'm realizing now that a few of these complaints are related to Nanao acting weird

Idk where to put this but I'd like to point out Kinshiro's principles of halting the fight with the Battle Lovers as soon as he finds out that the s1 conflict was set up for a reality show and actively defending them from an attack because they're Binan students, despite still not having received his apology from Atsushi. Ata might've done the same if the HK finale's events had gone in the same order (travelling to Honyalaland to fight Wao, then Kyoutarou apologizing to Ata), but he doesn't feel as a character as deep as Kinshiro in that sense bc they didn't really show him to be in other ways.

Love feels more like an actual group of people while HK feels like they were filling in friendship group roles or something

#boueibu #binan koukou chikyuu bouei bu happy kiss! #marine talks #sleepy rant might delete later #this is all talking about what happens in canon not what could happen in fanwork #how do y'all write kyou correctly in fics with how little sense he makes in canon? props to everyone that does this #anyway pls tell me i'm wrong bc i'm unimpressed abt all this #i get that some media don't need character developement bc it's not the point #but boueibu has proven that it worked well with the rest of the material so what happened with hk? #i haven't written in so long i constantly shift between wanting to write and to throw my fics in the trash #well writing this post made me wanna write a proper story for hk #this rant is all messy bc it's just thought vomiting but whatever #sorry #problem is love has a lot more media than hk but even if we just had s1 to compare i think that might've still been better in this sense #i think the only time ata has talked to ryouma directly was when he yelled at him for defending kyou in ep11. very close friendship i see #i'd say even ranmaru and juka in f-ran have more character developement than some of the guys in hk #i'm still mad about the way ichiro got humilliated in ep4 and didn't defend himself and there were no consequences #good friends don't do that to you! like please edelstein are the angry bad guys and still treat each other better than the defense club do

[bawawawawaguitarsolofuckyeah]

Realized how icky the asmodeous crystal thing must've sounded to blitz esp bc he didn't even agree to it. It looked like he was being passed on from an authority figure (stolas) to another authority figure (ozzie). He didnt have the courtesy to decide or have any say to it.

I do hope things will be cleared and talked about in the next episodes... Stolas' love + feelings bc Blitz was only very much vocal and very obvious to us, the audience.

Not to Blitz (that man is so blinded by his own self-hatred. Even if he did see it, emotions and all that shit are just all too much for him to handle.

Hence his outburst and the way he handled Stolas' heartfelt confession - playing it along as a joke,

shouting in anger

(it's also not helping that stolas' back is against him and walking away, unintentionally dismissing him and making him have to chase stolas, making him feel more insignificant than he already is feeling. I think he's shouting bc he's offended, CONFUSED, and feeling small. The shouting helps him feel bigger and more in control of the situation)

and even wanting to fight "I'm not letting you bitch! Let's GO" bc thats how he handles misunderstandings/problems - through violence and fighting.

The way the both of them acted and reacted were completely understandable due to their own respective traumas and perspective on things.

Stolas had a horrible marriage and was abused physically + mentally for so long that Blitz's loud outbursts and terrible words reminded him so much of Stella therefore he tries to walk away and just shuts down the moment he thinks Blitz isn't returning his feelings back and when he unintentionally hurt Stolas' feelings.

Blitz had such a messy history with relationships - from his sister, to fizz, to verosika, etc..plus his immensely heavy self-hatred he has bc of his past. He genuinely thinks he can't be loved and doesn't deserve to be. The fact that the prince of hell loves him..just can't (yet?) get past the walls he conjured up to protect himself from further damage against his broken heart.

PLUS. The feelings "bullshit" did kind of spring up on him bc the arrangement started and was centered on having to have sex on the full moon in exchange for the book. The constant flirting and the "my little impish plaything" stuff stolas did in the first season did not help. Blitz maybe caught feelings at some point, but just accepted this arrangement. He believes the arrangement IS about sex and everything tied to Stolas IS about sex because- thats literally how it started and there was no attempt to change that before the confrontation in the full moon episode. Stolas also didn't give blitz to fucking process all of this, so blitz REACTED instead of RESPONDING. Because everything was dropped so fast. But stolas only did it how he thought would work (and he wasnt in his anti-depressants this poor man)

Only in the "Ozzie's" ep did we really see Stolas actually reach out to do smth other than sex. Then they didn't communicate again (at least other than Seeing Stars ep + Western Energy). OFC blitz is taken aback and surprised when stolas talks about stopping this arrangement and wanting smth more.

I JUST WANT THEM TO TALK IT OUT AND GIVE EACH OTHER TIME FUCK VIV PLS JUST LET THESE TRAGIC DEMONS BE HAPPY TOGETHER FOR ONCE

#helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss stolas #long post #sorry this is messy #the full moon #ep 8 #character analysis #helluva boss

[sillyandquiteawkward]

Ngl, Far Harbour is actually an amazing and fun DLC. It made me the most emotional i've ever been playing through a video game and I got so attached to some of the characters, and despite the writing flunks, it was a pretty solid DLC, in my opinion.

But there is one major issue I have with it, and it's that, as the player, you're SEVERELY limited in what you can do.

When I was going through, I made the decision to not tell Avery she was a synth. When I went back to do the Replace Tectus ending, I also did some quests for the people of Far Harbour to be trusted by them. There was one point where I had to talk to Avery to advance a quest, and it WOULD NOT let me advance that quest until I told her she was a synth. I tried. All the options were either to end dialogue or some varying degree of "You're a synth, Avery," until I told her and THEN it let me talk to her about the quest. I was so frustrated by it.

I also remember having to dismiss Nick at some point because my actions were just upsetting him too much when I was trying to get the Children to like me so I could get inside the Nucleus. Like, why couldn't I somehow explain to him that I was going "undercover" to help everyone out?? He's a detective, he'd understand that whatever I'm talking about is just to butter them up and that I don't actually mean anything that I'm telling them, right??

Not to mention, when you uncover stuff about DiMa, or the Children, or the people of Far Harbour, you're pretty much forced into this stringed out series of events rather than being able to intervene in certain situations. Like, why can't we intervene with DiMa's death? I understand that's their law, but we seriously aren't even given the choice to say anything, and we're forced to watch him be murdered like a bystander who hasn't been waist-deep in this situation the entire time?

(On a side note: I understand the limitations they established with the 4-option dialogue Fallout 4 has, among the limitations in potentially making this DLC more "fleshed out" than is already is, but c'mon. I felt like I was just a guard rail for a bowling ball towards a certain ending rather than being the person who threw the ball itself.)

[Also extra side note: It's been literal years since I played that DLC so there's some things I may not analyze well or misremember

i agree 100%. there was always some sort of railroading or limitation when it came to far harbor. its def not just a part of the 4 option dialogue, i think there couldve been a lot of improvements to give the player more options of actions even with the limited dialogue trees.

also on ur note, i wish we couldve pulled a bit with nick and go undercover with him. would love to see some actual sleuthing and lying thru ur teeth with nick giving you the thumbs up behind you. maybe there couldve been a part where nick pulls you aside after that and is like hey that was cool and all but you sounded really convincing. hope that aint how you really feel. and you can reassure him it was a bit, or that yeah its how you really feel, etc. make a joke (sarcasm option). i think it couldve made that part of the game a lil more fun and you wouldnt have to piss nick off bc all the companions dont understand what lying is due to game mechanics.

[maedaeme]

OUGH ALRIGHT magni backstory ramble time under the cut. was putting this off just in case i wanted to make changes but now i'm committed.

and later im not going to be able to stop myself from rambling abt his companion connections at length so i'm dropping this here as the starting point to keep me CONSISTENT.

refers to mild act 2 spoilers because I need to be a little bit unhinged about things. currently in act 3, but i'm saving that for later because there is so much happening. anyway

bullet point backstory bc it's 11 pm. what up.

used to be a priest(ess) of lolth. raised among devout lolth-sworn, which of course gives him baggage he doesn't even realize exists until like halfway through the game.

'i had a normal childhood' - guy who very much did not have a normal childhood. am i projecting my religious trauma here. who can say

very committed. basically used serving lolth as an elaborate excuse to get away with whatever selfish whims popped into his head

worked alongside two other, equally terrible priestesses under the mutual understanding that they were only 'allies' until they could stab each other in the back

last one standing is loth's fav. you know how it is

did in fact get stabbed in the back when one of them uncovered a secret of his and used it to oust him

fully accepted he was going to get sacrificed to lolth. was pretty chill with it, actually. as far as he was concerned it only made sense.

the priestess who ousted him decided it would be meaner to banish him to the surface instead

she was correct.

became SO INCENSED at being told he was not a worthy sacrifice that it became ALL he cared about

like. he refused to wrap his brain around it, so he just went 'fine, i will claw my way up from the dirt and eat bugs or whatever and i WILL become so fucking impressive that when i come back DOWN here you will HAVE to sacrifice me. that's how good i'll be.

'also maybe i'll trans my gender while i'm at it bc at this point I Have Nothing To Lose'

lost ability to use magic in the middle of this and just refused to think about the 'god abandoned me' implications

knew nothing about the surface. broke into places, stole, and murdered to survive. discovered life was easier if you got good at lying, just in case you got caught stealing. and he was already Very good at lying.

once he got it all figured out, he fell into organized crime VERY easily, while still secretly holding onto his General Disdain for everyone around him. this was not hard to do. people are shitty to you when you're a drow.

spent a couple decades fighting, stealing, and occasionally murdering if you paid him or annoyed him enough. mentally tucks away all of the crimes he does as 'for lolth' even though he's lowkey aware that's not how that works. there's a bunch of complicated stuff going on in his brain up there and he is avoiding all of it.

basically he starts the game an expert manipulator who FULLY expects to just eventually murder these people he keeps picking up because it Has to be that way, except thru act 1 he. doesn't. and then he starts to get used to them. enough that at camp he starts to drop his Eternal Performance, which everyone initially writes off as 'magni being weirdly dismissive and blunt for some reason' until late act 1 when they realize 'oh wait. that's what he's REALLY LIKE. he was LYING.'

his feelings towards the companions and himself and his goals get incredibly complicated. sometimes he sucks. sometimes he doesn't. gale makes him ask himself questions he does not want to know the answer to, but he can't just let it GO now that he's asking them. the people around him are trusting him with their deepest secrets and desires and it is FREAKING HIM OUT because he doesn't know how to do anything with secrets except destroy. so he drops the act further thru act 2. except they're still doing it. because they know what he's like by now. and they know that sometimes! he refrains from doing the mean selfish thing! because they wouldn't like it! and he hates that he feels that way and is occasionally halfheartedly mean and petty later like it's going to make the uncomfortable taste in his mouth go away but he is forming attachments to these people and there is NOTHING he can do about that

anyway. i'm going to shake my laptop later re: gale being asked to Explode by his god and how it forces magni to look literally his Only Driving Goal For Decades (getting eaten by spiders) in the face and ask himself if that's really what he wanted, but i'm in full hyperfixation mode. also he just rly loves astarion. he can't say that word though. feels wrong in his mouth

it's also put him in the weird act 3 spot of being the person who has already ASKED himself the hard questions that everyone else is now asking. he is, for the first time ever, somewhat the reasonable one. which means he's gotta accept he thinks differently about things than he used to. which he doesn't like. but he's embraced the softness, he just doesn't want you to mention it.

and sometimes he just goes and stands in a cold lake at 1 am so he doesn't have to think about anything. you know how it goes

#pointless post #mae plays bg3 #i'm so sorry this is so long. thank you for humoring me. bless u

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WEDNESDAY WHENEVER

I got tagged by @theviridianbunny thank youuu!

ART

The Kurt drawing I started a month ago is almost finished so I won't show that as a WIP again lol. But I settled on what I want to draw next already and I am way to hyped by the idea (Cyberpunk/Witcher crossover)

WRITING

I write quite a lot lately (or try to). Manly oc stuff because I managed to get obsessed with Alyona. Welp.

Her character introduction for my AU is halfway finished, but I am overthinking if it got a little to shippy (I didn't intendet that in the beginning but it just happened and I like it hehe). Maybe I make my shippy stuff into something extra and name it after the ship to keep the actual AU "cleaner" bc it's not that important for the plot. I don't know! I can't organzie my stuff!

Here's a preview of the introduction tho. For context: It's a backflash and around 2073, the business in Dtown starts to bloom and she comes for a visit to see what the Colonel came up with (try not to cringe by posting your writing but cringe anyway):

————————————————————

A woman got out of the helicopter after them. Relatively tall, slim, athletically muscular, her short black hair was tousled by the wind, the sides of her skull were shaved short. She wore simple, military-style clothing. Cargo pants, lace-up heavy boots, a tactical leather jacket. Everything was kept in black and dark olive tones. If you didn't know any better, you'd say she was from here and it would be easy for her to blend in with the masses in Dogtown. One detail that made her stand out, was a multitude of thin scars that ran from the lower left side of her face across her nose and up to her forehead. Judging by the degree of healing, it was a very old wound. At least on the outside.

She walked confidently past her people, holding a bottle of clear liquid with an elaborately designed label in her right hand. Probably high-proof alcohol from her home.

After a few steps, however, she stopped abruptly and pushed the aviator glasses she was wearing down a little to look over the rim in disbelief and with a raised eyebrow.

"You look old, Kurt," she said blatantly, examined the man in front of her from top to bottom and continued to walk slowly towards the him, then took her glasses off completely and put them in the inside pocket of her jacket.

"It hasn't been that long since we last saw each other, has it?"

Her English was remarkably good when compared to other representatives from this part of the world who were usually up for business in Dogtown. However, she was unable to mask the slight accents common to the Russian language.

Kurt ignored her little teasing and tried to be professional.

"I'm glad you're here too." He couldn't help but welcome her with a thin smile." And it should be about half a year. The last time was in Laos during the negotiations."

Both slowly came to a halt in front of each other. Jago had followed the Colonel discreetly and kept to the background.

"That was six months ago already. Seems like I did good on suppressing the memories about that terrible place“, she answered shaking her head in disbelief.

"How was the flight?" he added tersely.

"Ah," she made a dismissive hand gesture. "Alright. I am getting used to traveling.“ She showed him the bottle she brought with her. „Here's your favorite. Don't worry, I've got more in the helicopter."

Without further ado, she pressed it into Hansen's hand.

For all the people standing by who were not yet familiar with Alyona and her way of dealing with Kurt, this whole encounter must have seemed incredibly strange. They all only knew him as the undisputed authority figure and nobody, except at most his old brothers in arms, would dare to talk to him like that. And even there were limits.

Alyona finally looked with interest at the man standing behind the Colonel.

„And who is the cute little cat? I don't think we've met yet.“

Jago's features froze completely and he didn't think he had heard correctly.

"The cute little... EXCUSE ME?" he replied with audible outrage in his voice.

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And I still NEED to write her fucking lore down. I think I got it togehter by now.

VP (new to the list)

Just started to activly making pics on my console and would like to come up with a little series in the future maybe.

Atm I try to make pics for a fun Discord Challenge where I have to show a single day in the live of my V. Since I am still obsessed with a certain disctrict I thought I make it a "Dogtown Days"- Edition. I struggle with the limited set of poses but I'll figure something out.

Yea think that's it for now. I still have so many ideas for a lot of different things but I have to restrain myself and finish some things first before I get lost in my WIP-Limbo.

#wip whenever #ouroboros talks #writing stuff #art stuff #VP stuff

[sevicia]

I 🩷 whining & bitching & moaning

yk how yesterday I was the one who ended up giving Mila the pill? well my sister's awake now and decided she was gonna do it (didn't even ask me) while I handed her treats and it took a bunch of tries too. & I don't think I would've gotten it 1st try either, but I know exactly how it goes when I wanna do something she doesn't think I'm capable of: she just doesn't let me do it. it's happened time & time again so I didn't even ask this time cause literally what's the point .....

everyone in my house constantly infantilizes me and genuinely seems to believe I can't do anything by myself. I'm going to a thing from uni about 1st year students (such as me) familiarizing themselves w/ the school campus & other introductory activities on Tuesday & my mom really anxiously told me we (her & I) should try to go to uni before that just so I'd know how to get there, when the route I have to take is literally just home -> bus stop -> metro -> get off -> walk 5 min in a straight line. I told her no, that I would be fine just getting there by myself on Tuesday and she reluctantly agreed.

+ a few days ago I overhead my dad talking about gifting me some money for some reason I'm not sure about, and my sister very seriously told him to just give it to our mom instead so she'd manage it for me, and he agreed. Her argument was that I'd just spend it too quickly which I understand cause I did that all the time when I was in highschool. Which was 3 years ago.

IDK like even when I try to do something I'm usually not capable of doing (mainly cooking), I'll ask a bunch of questions to make sure I'm doing it right to the point they get annoyed w/ me & just do it themselves like "you're too nervous just be more confident and do it already" meanwhile whenever I did things "confidently" in the past I always managed to fuck them up somehow and then get treated like I'm stupid and no one has made the connection that maybe when you constantly tell someone they're stupid while they're trying something new, they'll just stop trying .... ? because they don't want to be called stupid .... ?

It's also made me actually really adverse to try anything by myself cause I find I start thinking "someone else's gonna do it and even if I tried I'd just make it worse", but I don't feel that way when I'm home alone / away from home, it's literally just when I know I'm being judged by people who know me and are around me all the time

& when I manage to get something right I sometimes get praised but most of the time it's just "well you should've been able to do that a long time ago!" and like I know that it's true and that I'm not a dog that should get a treat for every new trick he learns but I just don't want it to be dismissed like that yk .... like just tell me "good job" or smth

I also think getting treated like a child all the time really makes my perception of myself as inherently unattractive / underisable a lot worse because I've just started to believe that everyone sees me as a kid so no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me ykwim ? the fact that I'm relatively short doesn't help either

the way I get treated like a stupid child while also having adult expectations put on me is always so confusing, like I'm being pulled in 10 different directions and I enjoy none of them

+ I feel like even MORE of a brat for even complaining about this in the first place cause I've heard people say "man I WISH I had someone who did everything for me" and it just makes me feel horrible bc maybe I should be grateful that they care & worry about me so much and I'm just whining over nothing again

"how are you gonna survive when I'm gone ?!?!" from my mom and "you'll literally just die the second you move out" from my sister and "don't even try, it's too dangerous" from my dad and I just keep quiet because I can't even prove them wrong because they're not wrong. I CAN'T do anything by myself and I AM slow at everything (which is just me trying to avoid calling myself stupid) and I AM lazy and have no common sense.

maybe this is the reason most of my daydreams consist of me being like 30 and living on my own lol

#diary #long post #well when I was like 15 I was in my mid-twenties inside the daydream / fantasy #but I'm already 20 so I don't think that's gonna pan out. #and being realistic it's probably not gonna happen even after I'm 30and I'm trying to accept that #that I'm never gonna be able to fully become an adult and actually enjoy life as an adult and I'll miss out on everything #the same way I never did anything when I was a teen #I hate it when I start whining like this but I feel safer posting it here cause at least I can't see anyone roll their eyes at me #+ I hate the way I always blow things out of proportion. #I never know if what I'm feeling bad about is THAT serious or if it actually happened how I remember it I just doubt myself so much

[zarisdonut]

The opinions that literally no one asked for

Alright so yesterday I finished Fate: The Winx Saga and here are all my thoughts.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions, so it's okay if you don't agree w me.

First off, STELLATRIX.

Can't get them off my mind and I'm a 100% sure Beatrix is gonna come back so it's fine. I absolutely love their dynamic and honestly, I've spent all the eps just waiting for their scenes and I am not ashamed of it. Btw, Stella should've been a lesbian, but it's fine. As long as she's sapphic I don't really care.

Also, I'm pretty sure theyre gonna be canon. Like, all their relationship is so queercoded, with parallels w other ships and everything??? No way they're just gal pals. I refuse. So yeah, in other words, I am clowning hard, which is not surprising cause all I ever do in life is clown over sapphic non-canon ships apparently. (I have a long history abt that)

Musa

Musa, girl, what have they done to you? I didn't hate the haircut as much as I thought I would (even tho its not great) but the clothes???? Hello????? It was hard to watch.

Also, I was kind of surprised w the fact that I liked her "transition" from mind fairy to Specialist, so I'm pretty pleased with her storyline. I will say this: I wish she were sapphic. Not bc of anything specific, but I do remember having a moment where I shipped her w Stella, cause I made a whole fanfic in my head abt them, so yeah.

Also, riven and musa????? Look, I don't normally like m/f ships (specially if they're not in a sitcom). Like, I don't hate them, but they don't give me the buzz, yk. Most times I'm just neutral about them, but I gotta say, man, that Riven and Musa... God, I loved their scenes. I found their dynamic so interesting and the chemistry. THE CHEMISTRY. The slowburn is gonna burn so good.

Terra + Flora

V happy with the fact that Terra is a lesbian cause we need more lgbtq+ people in this show (and in life in general). I will say her storyline w the specialist girl is a bit odd cause they don't really focus much on her (which they obvs should've done that) and isn't she dating someone else when they have their first kiss???? A bit confused abt that.

Other than that, I liked her storyline, and even tho her coming out isn't the best one Ive ever seen, I was pretty pleased. Especially the moment where she tells the whole group and she wants to dismiss it w the rug or smth (I forgot lol) and Stella comes in and hugs her???? Melts my heart.

Moving on, I didn't know how I was gonna feel abt Flora?? And I still don't know lol. I will say that the actress did a good job, but I think they should've added more bonding scenes between Flora and the other girls cause it just didn't feel like they were best friends just like the rest of the group? But maybe it's just me. Still, I don't know how I feel about Flora yet. Like, Im pretty sure I like her, but I think it's more about what she represents, (which is the cartoon character) than what she actually is. I definitely need to see more of her.

Also, the relationship w Terra,, it made sense but also it was too predictable. Like, its not bad but I did find it a tad basic and I wish they made it a bit differently. Like, I know it's hard to innovate but idk, maybe add a little something that makes them stand out? But again, maybe that's just me.

Aisha

Idk what to say abt her tbh, I just like her lol. I will say that it didn't make a lot of sense the way she reacted when she first met Grey (I think that's his name but in case its not, I'm talking abt the guy lol). Like, bro, the lake is not yours, chill. So it was a bit hard for me to get into the relationship but eventually I kinda did, so yeah. V sad that the first boyfriend she has, turns out to be a blood witch. The bestie cannot catch a break lol.

I will say that, (a bit of constructive criticism here) I find Aisha as a character a bit flat. And not only her, I think that in general all the characters except maybe Beatrix and even Riven(?) seem pretty shallow to me. Or maybe like, not shallow but as if they haven't still found their own spark? Idk if this makes sense but I feel like most characters fall into these cliches and tropes, which is totally fine, cause nowadays literally everyone needs to fall into one of these, like it's literally unavoidable. But baby, you need to add a bit of their own spark to make them stand out. To make them memorable, yk? So yeah, I wish they stopped and tried to work on the characters a bit more. Like, Stella, Musa and even Terra are not as bad (even tho imo they a bit of work from the writers wouldn't hurt cause Im pretty sure the actresses make more than half of the work in this aspect) but Aisha, Flora, Sky and especially Bloom... It's bad yall. It's very bad (Will explain the Bloom thing later, don't hate me just yet)

BTW: I say all of this out of all the love in my heart, cause I believe in all the characters and I see the potential, and what they could become. And I hate the fact that I can see it and they're just wasting it so yeah. Don't hate me besties <333

Bloom + Sky

I'm sorry but Bloom is the most basic female main character from a sci-fi tv show you can ever have. Like, bro, just put a little more effort into creating her, please. Like, I'm begging. Maybe it's just me, but the bestie is missing personality (not dragging the actress, just the writers and how they did it), cause yeah, its fine if she wants to sacrifice herself all the time, or if she wants to do everything alone cause she's special n stuff but it's like her whole personality is revolving around her having the Dragon Flame. Which yeah, it is important and it is a v important part of her life but dude. Dont make her one-dimensional.

This also happens w Sky btw. And ofc when you put a bland character w another bland character everything gets... well. Not great. But I won't get into their relationship bc honestly, I do not care. Like I said before, m/f relationships don't give me the buzz so yeah.

To wrap it up...

I did like the second season. I would like to say I liked it more than the first one but I barely remember anything of it, so yeah, lol (Im a horrible fan, I know). I will say that idk what it is, that's making me continue the show, cause I normally only consume sapphic/lgbt media, but here we are. And I did want to leave it a few times cause the heavy straight content is so strong, but Im glad I continued it. And I hope they get renewed for a third season cause I really believe that it has potential and yeah, that's all for now ig. Maybe I'll do another post talking abt other stuff, like plotwise or smth. We'll see. But it'll def be shorter than this cause holy shit, this is long for a person who "isn't v into the show anyways" (that's me lying to myself btw lol)

N e ways idk whos gonna read this, but on the off chance someone has read through all my bullshit and is reading these last sentences, woah, I'm impressed. I cannot believe you've stuck around to know all the thoughts of a random stranger on the internet abt a show abt fairies lol.

N e ways, I love you and have a good day <3333

Kindly,

The random stranger on the internet.

#fate the winx saga #stella #beatrix #stellatrix #fate spoilers #bloom #musa #flora #terra #sky #riven #musa x riven #stella x beatrix #aisha #just adding tags as i think of them lol