#or if you think that a fighter should be in their own category

[woniverse-writes]

"Moth to a Flame (part 5)"

Bada Lee x Reader

part 4 ⟵ part 5 ⟶ part 6

series masterlist

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 6k

warnings: swearing, angst, y/n is a little psycho asshole in this chapter, but like- bada.... eeh scary, a lot of plot changes cuz I like playing the victim lol, not proofread, ending was kind of rushed, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction

Shortly after Rie Hata’s message finished playing on the monitors all teams wrapped up their fun and began heading back to the studio to begin preparing for the mega crew mission. They all dry their hair and get changed, reapplying their makeup to prepare for filming again, when the host appears with another message. He congratulates the remaining teams for surviving, and at the mention of Tsubakill’s elimination y/n and the rest of Jam Republic immediately frown. 

Daniel continues to explain the mission and informs them that there will be three different concepts that they have to use, but the way they will be decided is by group discussion. On top of that team Bebe has the benefit of going straight for whatever concept they want without discussion. The three creative prompts consisted of ‘outdoor’, ‘structure’, and ‘all gender’. 

“Ooh we could definitely do something sick with structures” Audrey perked up and her partner-in-crime nodded in agreement before speaking

“Yeah but honestly I think we could do well with any of these…” y/n countered smirking cockily prompting Emma to hum and hold out her hand for a high five.

“I personally feel like we should go for outdoors. I already have so many ideas for what we could do and I know some of you do too…” the leader chimed in, eyeing Ling and Y/n at the mention of other members having ideas. They decide to have their three creative directors be Kirsten, Ling, and Y/n and the three begin coming up with their own separate ideas, with the help of another member. 

When the crew came back together after a few moments of planning and creative briefing, they all shared their ideas. Kirsten came up with the idea of showcasing the beauty of New Zealand since it was most of their crew’s homeland- she wanted to shoot on the beach and have the rocks behind them. Ling’s idea was to take more of an approach that would appeal to their Korean audience, by incorporating more K-pop dance styles and music and shooting in the heart of the city with all the lights in the back. Everyone really liked both ideas, but y/n’s quickly became their favorite when she explained it.

“Okay so this might be too much, and could easily get muddled- but what if we did a sports theme? Like- we each represent a different sport or activity while also representing our culture or background… each of us could get a highlight and we’d all have our “teams” that would dance in our own styles- then we’d all come together in the end as a sort of pep-rally type thing…” y/n finished off the basic ideas of her take, and everyone immediately either nodded or clapped, thoroughly impressed with how quickly she had come up with such an elaborate idea.

“And this is exactly why you’re here girlfriend- forever a genius…” the leader nodded and smiled at her youngest, clapping her hands slowly and appreciatively. It was an idea that could work with all three concepts so the team decided to mark y/n’s as the top choice as of right now.

When all the teams gathered to pick their concept Jam Republic and Bebe were the only groups that chose something other than ‘structure’, Jam Republic sticking to their outdoor idea and Bebe going with the all gender category. After the pink team explained why they picked what they did, it caused Deep n Dap to change their pick to outdoor as well, saying it was because they felt their crew could easily rival Jam Republic, which caused Kirsten to maturely and professionally nod, while y/n covered her mouth and snickered.

After Jam Republic has guaranteed themselves a spot in the outdoor concept, they head back to their team hideout and begin to plan out their ideas in full. Y/n already begins to map out choreography for her and Ling’s sections, while Emma does the same for herself and Audrey, leaving Kirsten and Latrice to pair up. The girls decided to head back to New Zealand and take advantage of the scenery as part of the expression of their members’ culture. It was a nice blend of y/n and Kirsten’s concepts. 

______

Y/n and Bada hadn’t really talked much since they began preparing for the Mega Crew mission, both focusing on their team’s success. Although they still texted daily, sometimes it was only a quick good morning or goodnight, while other times they had fuller conversations.

‘Have a safe flight, text me when you land plz!’ y/n read the message right before she got on the plane. She felt her heart swell at the little gesture of care, hearting the message and replying with a selfie of her in the airport paired with the words ‘thank you lovey, I will <3’.

Jam Republic boarded their plane and took off from South Korea to New Zealand, with many plans already going wrong as soon as the plane was in the air. You see, they had just been informed of how bad the weather was in the area, then about how many of the dancers they called for wouldn’t be able to make it. Each member was responsible for contacting and securing 10 members to come dance with them, explaining how the show would be paying for their trip and all the dancers had to do was show up and give it their best. It started off really well, with each of them actually coming back with more than 10 dancers. Then the weather hit. Flights were canceled or delayed to the point where people wouldn’t make it in enough time to learn the dance. On top of that, their idea to shoot at the beach was totally scrapped due to the intense winds. With the major setbacks of losing over half their dancers and not being able to use their original scene, the girls had to redo choreography and practically start the whole project over.

“This can’t be happening…” y/n was the first to start spiraling, ever the drama queen- but this time it was very justified. All six members of the crew stood in a circle in the middle of the studio floor, eyes flitting back and forth between each other and their leader, who was staring at the floor deep in thought. Kirsten let out a huge sigh and crossed her arms tensely.

“I’m sorry girls… but I really don’t know what we’re gonna do…” the leader ran her hands down her face and let out another deep breath, turning away for a moment with her hands on her hips. At that moment, the youngest realized how serious the situation really was, seeing as her leader wasn’t presenting her usual calm self. Typically when there was an issue, Kirsten was calm, cool, and collected- even if it seemed unsolvable… she always had an answer no matter what.

y/n being the perfectionist she is, began racking her brain for any possible solutions, already feeling her lungs begin to collapse at the possibility of complete failure. On top of being a perfectionist, the young girl also had a pretty bad case of savior complex, feeling like she had to fix everyone’s problems, especially when there was no one else who could- even if she knew that she herself probably wouldn’t be able to fix it either (at least not without bending over backward and bleeding herself dry). 

“No… no we can easily fix this-” all eyes went to the youngest member who ran off to grab all their notebooks and bring them back over to where the crew still stood. She spread them out, riffling through the pages until she found ideas they could use. 

“We can still use the stadium… it won’t be as grand of a scale as we wanted, but that can still work. And- and we can make it related to New Zealand instead of all of our different backgrounds, so it’s easier to put together and less choreography to make up… we can fix this!” y/n was frantically and hopefully (delusionally) explaining her ideas, trying as hard as she could to bring the team’s morale back up. They sat down in their circle and began connecting the ideas, just hoping for the best at this point

Even though the Jam Republic girls were frustrated, they only let it fuel their will to work even harder. It crushed y/n a little to have to scrap her idea, knowing it would’ve brought them an easy win, but she was determined to make their new routine strong. The team had ultimately decided to keep the athletic theme but changed it quite a bit to highlight rugby which was a big part of New Zealand culture. The girls planned on dancing in the bleachers and on the field to portray a Friday night lights feel, or a game- since it technically was still a competition between them and deep n dap.

A few days go by and it isn’t getting any easier for Jam Republic. As much as they try to stay positive, the insane lack of dancers makes it hard to achieve the impact they’re going for. Y/n kept saying how they needed to keep trying to find more dancers, but Kirsten just wanted to focus on perfecting the routine with what they had. The young girl also kept mentioning little ideas and elements to add in order to amplify the concept they were going for, but again the leader was more focused on solidifying the present piece. Y/n ended up getting so frustrated that she would just randomly start tearing up and crying during their breaks, not allowing herself to stop for more than 30 seconds, grabbing a quick sip of water, and then immediately going back to practicing. She thought that maybe if she gave it her all, she wouldn’t be as disappointed in herself when she wasn’t satisfied with the outcome. 

Of course, all of the girls were on edge but they at least were able to put it aside at some moments, still being able to enjoy parts of the process. y/n tried her best not to let her teammates see how anxious and worked up she was, but the girl was so overwhelmed with fear of failure that it would be impossible for anyone not to see it. Which is why it made everything so much worse for her when she continued to go through the rest of the preparation without a single person asking what was wrong. Y/n understood- really, she did. Everyone needed to focus on the end goal, and that meant there wasn’t time to deal with her feelings.

Bada was beginning to worry, seeing as the last response she had gotten from y/n was days ago. The girl had landed her flight and texted the Bebe leader immediately, letting her know she was safe, but also explaining the problems that had already arisen. They talked briefly about how the pink team was likely going to have to restart everything if the weather didn’t ease up. Then a couple of days later, they talked on the phone about the complete concept change and reboot of their whole routine. Y/n tried to keep her stress to a minimum, not wanting to be a burden to the other girl who was also beginning to get stressed. 

It had been many days since then, and she’d texted the younger girl three separate times as well as tried calling her twice. Bada finally got a response the day before Jam Republic would be flying back to Korea for the midterm mission check, where they as well as the other teams would be reviewing each other’s practice videos of the choreography. It had been a somewhat longer text message reading ‘hi. I’m really sorry for not responding at all for the last few days. I know you’re probably just as stressed as i am, so I’m sorry for not being able to be there. Things haven’t been going good over here and I’m honestly really scared to present what we have… but I’m sure everything will be fine haha. How have you been?’

Bada felt her heart clench at the girl’s words, understanding why she wasn’t responding but still feeling a bit upset nonetheless. It hurt her to see y/n try to brush off her stress and redirect her attention so it would focus on caring for others instead of caring for herself.

Jam Republic arrives back in South Korea and heads straight to the studio to film their reactions and judgments of the other teams. They immediately make their way to their pink hideout passing by other crews, but not having time to mingle or really do anything more than smile and wave. The girls were exhausted from the flight, jetlag, and overworking themselves. y/n didn’t even realize team Bebe wasn’t with the rest of the crews when they passed through the lobby.

Bebe sat in their room, feeling more anxious than usual, a bad vibe floating through the air. No one could quite put their finger on it, but something definitely wasn’t right and it was causing all of the members to feel its effects. It officially came time for all crews to review each dance practice video. Each team’s video played one by one and the members had time to fill out the review cards before moving on to the next. 

Bebe’s video played next and the reactions were not positive, to say the least. Everyone seemed disappointed by the piece as a whole, expecting something much bigger- the music was too big of a risk, the props were poorly utilized, and it was overall just too simple. It wasn’t a bad video- it just didn’t meet anyone’s expectations since they were all waiting for some elaborate project, knowing Bada was very capable of doing so. Shortly after, a similar reaction was felt while everyone watched the Jam Republic video.

“They don’t have enough people…” Mina Myoung was the first to observe the team’s lack of crew members. They even paused the video to count how many were shown, seeing 28, which was under the minimum limit of 30 people.

“It honestly isn’t powerful enough… it’s just not impressive” Buckey commented, crossing her arms over her chest. Yoonji sighed and frowned.

“This is so sad… I was really rooting for them” The girl mumbled, genuinely feeling pity for the international team, hoping they’d be able to pull through.

When it came down to voting for the team that should be eliminated, Jam Republic ultimately chose Bebe. They were originally tied between voting for Bebe and Wolf'lo, with y/n fighting her best fight to vote for Wolf'lo because it just didn't look entertaining to her and they had no story or plot.

"y/n…" Kirsten started off in a warning but gentle tone

"We can’t just not pick Bebe because of you and Bada… this is a competition babe." and y/n was kinda hurt by that because she knows how to be objective and she didn't even think she was biasing Bebe- she just personally didn't like Wolf'lo and thought they should be eliminated over any other team.

Then it finally came down to the results. Each team would be given a scorecard showing the comments and feedback they’d received from the others. One card would reveal the team voted as most likely to place first, and another would reveal who was most likely to be eliminated. When Jam Republic opens their card, it felt like all of the air suddenly got sucked out of the room. 

“God DAMN” Audrey laughed humorlessly in absolute shock, as they all stared at the words ‘MOST AT RISK FOR ELIMINATION’ in big bold letters at the top. y/n stopped breathing for a few seconds and she’s pretty sure everyone else did too, seeing as there was not a single sound to be heard in the dressing room. The young girl once again tried to convince herself to think rationally, but couldn’t get past the anxiety and crushing weight of failure that was starting to fill her lungs. She wasn’t even angry, even though she should’ve been because she understood. y/n understood that they didn’t meet the criteria, and their dance simply wasn’t as put together as it should've been, especially in comparison to other teams/

What really got her emotional was realizing that Bebe- that BADA- voted for them too… it felt like such betrayal and she wore that shit on her face like usual. But still- she didn't feel angry, just betrayed and heartbroken, and really fucking disappointed. The more mature and logical side of y/n was still trying not to jump to conclusions because maybe it wasn’t Bada that decided… Maybe it was the same situation her team had going on- maybe Bada didn’t want to vote for Jam Republic but the majority of others did. Y/n truly did understand everyone’s reasoning, but that didn’t make it hurt any less, especially having Bada vote to eliminate her as well

“It’s gonna be okay lovey… I promise” Kirsten wrapped her arm around the youngest’s shoulders and whispered reassuringly to her as she watched her begin to have a mental breakdown. Moments later, the rest of the crew’s ranking was revealed, showing 1 Million in first and Jam Republic in last, but also- Bebe in sixth, the second to last place. Seeing this, Bada sighed and began to have her own slight mental breakdown.

Some teams celebrated their rankings while others sat quietly, reviewing the feedback and pondering what to do. Jam Republic sat in silence as Kirsten read over the comments. Y/n sat by her side with her head in her hands sobbing silently, so overwhelmed that she didn’t know what to do. The entire team was at a loss, and soon Kirsten started crying too, wrapping and arm around the youngest members, who finally let her emotions be shown to her team. The loud cries were the only sound in the room.

Y/n was able to calm herself down after about 20 minutes of crying. The poor girl felt so awful about how things were going feeling responsible for a lot of it- thinking that maybe if she had pushed her ideas a little more, or gotten in contact with more people, or even just tried a little harder, maybe Jam Republic could’ve done so much better. Even though she’s calmed down, tears still flow down her face without her even realizing it. Y/n was never angry at anyone else for their opinions, but now she’s feeling awfully spiteful towards herself. The youngest member was filled with so much resentment and self-hatred, that it immediately sent her into an inescapable depression.

The show writers and staff were cruel. So cruel for making these girls show off their inspiration boards and creative briefs live in front of the other teams. Each team explains their given concept and how they came up with the details to highlight what they chose. While it was much more of a relaxed environment (in the sense that there would be no feedback or ranking based on this), a majority of contestants were nowhere near feeling at ease. 

The members of Jam Republic were able to build themselves back up and put on their game faces while presenting, except for y/n. She really did try her best to not look like she was about to cry at the drop of a hat, but it was no use. The girl was simply not herself. The small girl’s usually bright and energetic personality was nowhere to be found, not once cracking even a hint of a smile- even when Jam Republic received immense praise for their ideas. She didn’t find any enjoyment in the other crew’s presentations, although to be fair she wasn’t really able to focus on them- she just sat there in a daze.

It made everyone nervous to see Jam Republic’s youngest member like this. Her members noticed that she had become even more irritable than before- but now in a scary way that genuinely had them concerned for themselves and everyone else. The girl was calm but you could just feel the rage and depression and resentment radiating off of her to the point it made chills run down your spine.

_________

After every crew had shared their ideas and idea boards, they were allowed to go back to head back to their hideouts to discuss any adjustments or further plans that had to be made before returning to their projects. Jam Republic had to get right back on a plane in a few hours to head back to New Zealand and somehow fix their entire routine, again.

Y/n just finished walking up the staircase leading from the fight zone to the crew lounges, when she heard someone call out her name from closely behind her. The girl turned around to come face to face with the tall leader she had been talking with for the last few months.

“Hey, are you okay? I called your name like three times…” Bada questioned worriedly, her eyebrows furrowed and head tilted as she waited for the younger girl’s response, with wide caring eyes.

“...I'm just really tired” y/n whispered in the meekest voice possible, already feeling her eyes start to sting again, but trying to cover it up with a smile. Bada sighs and pulls her into a big hug, and surprisingly y/n doesn’t burst into tears. The girl continues to try as hard as possible to keep the droplets from escaping her eyes as she squeezes them shut.

“Look… I’m really sorry” the older of the two began resting her head atop y/n’s, but the shorter one felt her body tense at the apology already not liking where the conversation was headed. y/n let go of Bada’s waist and backed away, waiting for the older girl to continue.

“It wasn’t personal… the dance was still very good, and it’ll look even better with all of the ideas planned out!” she finished, referring to how her team had voted Jam Republic as the worst crew. Y/n’s face lost any emotion she had regained, looking empty and exhausted again, making Bada’s skin prickle.

“no, I understand” was all y/n spoke, already trying to disconnect from reality to save herself from crying again or making a bigger fool out of herself than she already has. But Bada is only more upset by the reaction, seeing as y/n just doesn’t seem at all like herself. The girl genuinely looks empty inside and no one on the show has ever seen her like this, in fact- no one in Jam Republic has even seen her like this and they’re all beginning to become extremely worried about her. And even though it’s clear the small girl just needs time and space, Bada decides to keep talking 

“The vote was objective I promise, I don’t want you to think anything personally of it” At the end of the older girl’s sentence, y/n just felt the tiniest bit of a scowl make its way onto her face, feeling pissed off at the thought of someone once again thinking she doesn’t understand the concept of a competition.

“Obviously- I’m not stupid, this is a competition.” the harsh tone that comes out of the younger really throws Bada for a loop because she has never seen y/n speak to or about anyone like this- and it makes her feel sick to her stomach that her first time witnessing it is directed at her.

“I- no, what? Of course you’re not stupid! I just wanted to make sure… to make sure you knew. That’s all.” Bada started off a bit panicked and emotional but quickly was able to calm down and speak rationally, understanding the younger girl was known to have a bit of a temper. There was a long silent pause.

"did you decide on Jam Republic?" y/n asked a bit accusatorily

"Huh?" the older tilted her head, still absolutely confused about how this situation was occurring right now.

"did YOU, as in yourself, Bada Lee, decide to vote Jam Republic as the team to be eliminated, or was it someone else's idea…" There was silence for a moment before Bada sighed then pursed her lips

"We all decided-" 

"but who's idea was it? Did you even argue it? Were you even thinking of anyone else? Or did you just immediately decide and agree that my team should be the next to go?" Bada didn’t say anything as she started to get a little frustrated, but she watched as y/n just scoffed at the lack of response and turned to walk away, rolling her eyes. Bada followed her and pulled her aside, a few feet away from the outside of Bebe's dressing room

"well you voted for my team as the worst, so how is this any fair at all?" the tall leader finally let her emotions take control of her as she shot back with much less frustration than her counterpart, but still irritated nonetheless.

"because I didn't want to vote for you! I fought to vote Wolf'lo over you guys because I know you don't deserve to go home! I understand it from an objective perspective- I promise Bada, I do- but that doesn't make it hurt any less!" There were a few beats of silence before y/n continued

"and it's honestly really infuriating that you don't think I understand that this is a competition-" she finished off quieter than before but still filled with annoyance and betrayal.

"WOAH- now when did I EVER say that??" now it was Bada’s turn to blow up

 "Oh my god- you don't have to say it! You clearly think I'm just here to have fun and make friends!" y/n once again raised her voice, this time rising in pitch as well.

"Why would you say that??" Bada fired back and was immediately met with the calmest tone of voice y/n had spoken in since the argument began, and it terrified her.

"Bada- you haven't seen me as a threat once this entire competition… have you? Not to you, not to your team…" Bada stuttered for a second, completely blindsided by the argument

"where is this all coming from y/n?" the tall girl asked, genuinely concerned. y/n sighed and her eyes softened, shook her head.

"never mind" She turned and went to walk away, but Bada grabbed her by the wrist again and dragged her inside the blue team room, closing the door behind her

"you need to speak to me. You need to communicate with me what's going on right now because whatever you're feeling is totally valid- we had a rough day out there- fuck, we’ve had a rough few days, especially you- but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me… so please tell what's wrong, so I can try to help." the older girl calmly and gently explained her thoughts and feelings to the girl in front of her, and y/n almost cracked. almost.

“I think it’s best for me to focus on the competition… building relationships clearly isn’t working out to my benefit" Her previously soft and watery eyes, had quickly cleared up within a few seconds, leaving her looking cold and unapproachable again. The response was petty and childish, y/n herself knew that, but she said to hurt Bada. 

why do you want to hurt Bada? She was apologizing, why are you making this harder? You’re being childish and proving everyone right- you’re not fit for this competition, you’re too young y/n and you don’t know how to handle things when you actually need to.

The younger girl’s internal dialogue was emotional and resentful towards herself, but for once, the expression on her face didn’t show how she was truly feeling. The anger and hatred taking over her features wasn’t directed towards the older girl in front of her, which is what anyone witnessing the interaction would assume. y/n could feel her stomach churning and her face getting hot with embarrassment. She didn’t understand why she was acting like this and didn’t know how to get herself to stop.

It felt like hours had passed before Bada spoke again and when she did it was led by an aggressive scoff.

“You can’t be serious right now…” she challenged so calmly that it sent a chill up y/n’s spine, the younger girl’s resolve finally breaking down and it became apparent that she wasn’t actually as tough as she was trying to be. Bada could see the cold glare falter for a split second, watching as her eyes became full of emotion before the younger was able to reel it in again.

“Why wouldn’t I be serious? This is a competition and the only people I should be trusting are my teammates, I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get in the way of things…” y/n responded just as calmly. If anyone else were to be present for the interaction they probably would've froze to death due to how cold the two were being.

“Next time I'll make sure to vote objectively and solely based on what I see in front, instead of trying to think about who deserves to be here more.” she finished with an empty, tight-lipped smile, tilting her head feigning understanding, and Bada let out a humorless chuckle

“God- have you always been this manipulative?” it was her turn to try and hurt the other girl. y/n’s cocky grin dropped immediately and she straightened up entirely.

“Excuse me?” the younger girl furrowed her brows and scowled again

“You heard me…” Bada replied cooly and nonchalantly as if this were any other normal conversation 

“I came to you, apologizing for what I did and your response to that is to start an argument- and THEN when you realize you’re in the wrong, you try to turn it on me?” the older girl finished, voice rising slightly

“I never turned it on you- I said how I needed to focus on the competition and stop being so friendly with everyone, how are you so self-absorbed to think that was about you?” y/n could barely even get her last word out before the other was shouting over her.

“BECAUSE IT WAS- it so obviously was a dig at me y/n, because who else are you close with? Huh??” the volume of Bada’s voice caused the younger girl to flinch, no longer being able to preserve her emotions. The tall girl took a few steps forward and leaned down, getting in y/n’s face.

“Who else can actually stand being around you…” shot after shot fired, Bada was doing a much better job at hurting y/n than y/n was doing hurting Bada. She wasn’t even thinking about how she used to tell herself that she would never be the reason y/n would be crying, and now here she is, feeling satisfied when she sees a single tear run down the girl's face. She wasn’t paying attention to how it sucked all the air out of her lungs and made her stomach turn in disgust, only noticing the minuscule feeling of satisfaction.

“I think it’s so funny how you say that, knowing damn well you get jealous any time someone even looks at me… you know better than anybody that anyone in this fucking place would love to be in your position-” and this caused Bada to let out a loud laugh of disbelief, backing away slightly before getting right back in her face

“Yeah? Then how come nobody even paid attention to you until I took notice… you know that’s the only reason you’re popular, right? If it had been anyone else, no one would’ve cared… admit it to yourself, nobody wants to be in my place y/n- they all wanna be in yours, so maybe think about how lucky you are…” Bada didn’t believe in a single thing that was coming out of her mouth, she honestly couldn’t even believe her own voice hearing how condescending and spiteful the words sounded as they left her lips. She could feel a slight ringing in her ears, part of her brain processing it as a tiny voice screaming at her to stop and that she was making a mistake. But the damage was already done.

Y/n was barely holding back tears anymore, pursing her lips and clenching her jaw did nothing to stop the flow of salty droplets from streaming down her face. Her nostrils flared slightly as she swallowed down sobs and tightly closed her eyes.

“I’m not having this conversation anymore…” she managed to get the words out without sounding horribly choked up as she turns away to leave, hand about to turn the knob as the older girl lets out another dry chuckle.

“Oh so now you wanna act mature? Let me tell you this isn’t the mature way to handle the situation anymore- you don’t know how to talk to people or resolve conflict, in fact you’re NOT confrontational at all, and are really just a scared little girl who’s all bark and no bite. You’re such a child- that’s all you are- is a FUCKING child…” it’s dead silent after Bada’s done screaming at her. Y/n turns around slowly and just stands there for a moment with a blank stare, then lets out the most dry, humorless laugh. It honestly scares the shit out of the older girl, eyes going wide and face paling, coming to her senses and realizing how fucked the situation was. 

Y/n was smiling and laughing, albeit a little psychotically, all while still crying- she had finally snapped, and Bada was terrified. The girl in front of her could easily be a danger to herself, and possibly others in the state she was in, but all the leader could think about was how there was probably no coming back from this. The younger of the two just closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and nodding at Bada with a tight-lipped smile, taking a deep breath.

“Okay” y/n smiles painfully as tears continue to run down her face- she turns around, swings the door open, and slams it shut as she walks out. The silence that followed was broken only seconds later as Bada heard the sobs that were almost immediately released by the girl who had just left.

y/n hadn’t even noticed the rest of Bada’s team standing around the corner, as she walked in the other direction to head back to her own room. Once she was far enough away, Lusher led the group quietly into their space seeing their leader sat on the couch with her head in her hands.

“Hey…” she speaks quietly, and Bada looks up with an empty look in her eyes, but tries to hide it when she realizes her team is present. Before she can even try to pretend nothing happened, the sub-leader was speaking up again

“We heard everything…” Bada sighed and felt tears pricking her eyes, disappointment and heartbreak finally taking over as she realized how fucked up the things she said were. The younger members sat around their leader and rubbed her arm or leg while they all watched with sad eyes as she sobbed. This was going to be a rough next few days.

notes: i'm so sorry...

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#moth to a flame #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter x reader #bada x reader

[hannya-writes]

Hi darling! How are you? How have you been? I'm new to your account and saw that you're requests are open. So, could I request angst to fluff for Nicolas Brown finding his girlfriend injured very badly because of some gang that he fought in the last two days and then he beats them or kills them(you can either choose) and when he comes back he's gentle and soft with his girlfriend

Thank you so much!! Have a lovely day/night!!

Title: Hurt and Heal

Fandom: Gangsta

Pairing: Nicolas Brown x Reader

Other characters: Worrick, Alex.

Category: Romance, Angst, Request.

Warnings: This is a Request but I got a bit carried away because I wanted to paint a whole picture(?), There is no violence showed, but it is implied.

Author's note: I gotta thank the sweet Anon who asked for this, I hope you like it and I'm sorry things didn't come out as expected, if you don't like it you can request again and I'll write for you!

Situation: He founds you hurt after you got beaten by one of his enemies.

You met them because of work. You needed help with some home issues, like painting some rooms, getting some shelves in place, moving some heavy stuff, etc. And someone happened to mention Benriya. You ended up calling them and Alex was kind enough to appoint you on their tight schedule.

At first you were a little reluctant to mingle with them, I mean a man with a pirate patch, a woman with a beautiful curved body and then there was that other man, the one that seemed to be able to kill with a glance.

The first day you only left cold lemon water and sandwiches for them. However, the second day the man with the patch caught you with a question "where did you say you wanted this?" You became paralyzed. Worick turned to look at you and you gulped down your own saliva. 

You panicked ok? Worick was beautiful, his eye was so blue it was a crime, his hair glowed as if he had a halo, his voice was deep but melodical and his hands… why were you looking at his hands so much?

"Miss?" He asked worried and you snapped back into reality.

"Mrs, I am… I was married" instead of answering the question you corrected him "what was the question?" 

The other man used sign language and you were able to read his movements "she said by the side of the window, stop bothering her"

"It's no bother" you commented and suddenly all of the eyes were on you.

For the next couple of hours the handymen did their work as you spoke and signed for them, they were curious about your ability to use sign language so you explained to them that your mother was deaf and you learned to have quality time with her.

When they left that day your fear of them had disappeared completely.

The next day only Nicolas went to your home and there was not so much advancement in work since you kept telling stories about your family to Nico.

In only 4 days, everything was done, you paid the services and extended a special invitation to Nico "Come anytime, I'll be happy to have you" 

Worick is a little shit, the moment he saw you signing those words to Nicolas he started to create plans to make Nicolas go to see you.

Nina made a cake? Worick sent Nico to give you a slice.

Alex made some nice food? Guess who gets a taste?

They got an "extra" gun? Geez, you should have it! There's no such thing like being too careful!

What do you mean you don't know how to shoot? Nico can teach you! Only Nico would decline that idea since he's terrible with guns, so Worick will teach you but will also drag Nico to you.

"I'm a pacifist" you signed to Nicolas and he frowned to you.

"That's not good, Ergastulum is a dangerous place" he signed back and you made a pout.

"I know, but I don't want to hurt anyone" you told him and he signed quicker than before.

"Then you will get hurt, I rather you hurt someone than you getting hurt" his words made you blush.

"I've heard you are quite a good fighter? Why don't you do the hurting and I do the healing?" You proposed with a smile and he accepted after a minute of thinking.

Your relationship with the Twilight was slow but steady. When he wasn't going to visit you, he was working, when you weren't working you were studying with Dr. Theo about Twilight medicine.

You were almost never seen in the streets together, you two were careful. Very careful, especially since Worick worried about your safety.

Listen, Nico loves the fact that he can actually have a whole conversation with you. He knew he was in love since that day when you told him he could hurt and you will heal.

But of course he didn't say shit! He's afraid, he feels like he doesn't deserve to be happy and you deserve everything that is good in this world, so yeah! He's not confessing, there is nothing in this world that could make him confess. He would rather die than confess.

But then there's that call in the afternoon. Alex answered the phone but there was no one on the other side, she was about to hangout when she heard your voice in the distance, followed by the sound of things crashing.

Alex ran to tell Nicolas two words: your name and danger.

Nicolas didn't need to know anything else to start moving, he took every single shortcut to your house and got there in record time.

He had popped some cerebret and was ready to fight but when he arrived at your house you were the only one there, laying on the floor, in a puddle of your own blood with many cuts all over your body.

Nico panicked at that sight, thinking you were dead, his mind ran at 100 miles per second, he wanted revenge, he wanted to cry, he wanted to hold you, he questioned why had this happened to you and… your hand moved and so did your lips. He recognized the form of his nickname on your lips: "Nico"

And that simple move of your lips made his mind calm down, he took you in his arms and carried you to Dr. Theo.

Dr. Theo and Nina took care of you. He waited outside of the clinic, feeling useless, lost. His mind was planning on how he would deal with the person guilty of your state. Human or Twilight they were going to feel his rage, they were going to beg for forgiveness. He only needed you to point in the right direction.

Worick had to order Nico to get back home, to eat and even to take a bath since Nico only wanted to be by your side at all times. And surely, once Nico complied he went back to the clinic, to see you sleeping peacefully, unaware of all the injuries in your body.

"She'll be fine" Nina told him in sign language "She's still sleeping because of the medicine, don't worry"

"I like her" Nico answered "I wish I could not-worry but I do" he looked at your fragile form in bed.

"Really? I didn't notice" Nina mocked him and Nico growled lightly "She came all the way here to learn from Dr. Theo" she added and Nico frowned since you had never told him that.

"Why?" He asked and Nina looked at the twilight with a smile.

"She's a doctor in human medicine, but she wanted to learn about the twilight variations" said the young nurse "She wants to be able to heal everyone no matter if they are Twilights or humans" Nina's eyes suddenly widened with surprise and and Nico frowned confused only to then turn to see you awake on bed.

It only took you some more days to be able to use your hands to speak. And the first thing you said was a "Hello, Handsome" with your bandaged clumsy fingers.

Nico on the other hand asked about who had hurt you, why, how had things happened, etc.

So you explained everything, the banging on the door, the assault, how did those men looked like, everything you remembered was said to Nina who translated to Nico, since one of your hands got hurt.

Nico almost broke the chair he was using out of rage. He recognized those descriptions. Those were some little thugs that he had beaten before but had mercy on them. This time there was no mercy. No when they had hurt you and give you a message for him.

"You are not the only one who can beat people" when Nina signed those words Nico decided those men were going to have a horrible and very painful death.

"Nico you don't have to…" you tried to tell the twilight but he was looking away, he only turned back to you to hold your hand for a moment, a moment that at least from Nina's point of view was very romantic. Then he left.

Nico knew where to find them, he knew where they would be at that hour of the day. So he went there. He knew he should have told Worrick, but he didn't want to, this was personal.

The second he got there, he jumped over the culprits, katana in hand. With the first slash he cut down fingers. One of the three men tried to run away but got stabbed in the heels

Everyone in the bar left and Nico decided that he was going to make them pay for what they have done to you: an innocent, beautiful and kind woman.

When he got back to see you he has his shirt stained with blood. He was more relaxed, almost relieved since the thread had disappear. They couldn't hurt you anymore.

"Nico" you said as he walked your way and your expression went from casual to worried in a second. "Are you hurt?" You asked him and he looked at you with soft, caring eyes.

He sat on a chair by your side and caressed your good hand, putting a strand of your hair back behind your ear in a sweet manner, soothing you back to sleep.

"Can you get in bed with me?" You asked him and he read your lips. He hopped on the bed a little stiff at first, but then he practically melted and molded around you.

He is all soft and warm while he takes care of you, he gives you water and feeds you. He just stays there to help you

But then Worrick goes to the Clinic and takes Nico away, it's for work and you understand. The thing is: he doesn't goes back, even when Nina tells you you are free to go. 

For almost a Month you didn't see him. You asked about him many times but Nina always said the same "we haven't seen him" Bullshit! She was lying, you could feel it.

It took you some time, but with a lot of insistence Dr. Theo finally gave you their address, Nico's and Worrick's address! So you decide to go there.

You knocked at the door and Worrick opened, he was surprised to see you, he tried to cover all the space possible as he asked you about your recovery.

You are forced to push Worrick out of your way, only to see Nicolas sat on the couch with Alex straddling him, lips locked on a passionate kiss that leaves you without words.

You blush embarrassed and suddenly felt lost… you had all this unspoken feelings for Nicolas and you had only understood it after all the time you had lost touch with him. Only, only he was kissing another woman but not any woman, this was Alex Benedetto, the singer and secretary of Benriya.

It breaks your heart, you stutter an apology and leave in a hurry, feeling ridiculous. Why did you think you had something special? What had made you think Nico felt the same? It was laughable! You were only friends, nothing more. So why were you crying? 

"Asshole" Worrick signs to Nicolas right before Alex slaps him leaving a red mark in his cheek, which makes Nico growl in pain. "Y/n, She feels things for you" he adds as Alex leaves Nico's lap to go to the desk.

"I know" Nicolas confesses leaving out the words: "I feel things for her too", because he knows Worrick, he knows he would try to set them up if he admits his feelings.

Nicolas just wants to protect you, he just wants to save you from becoming a target for his enemies. Because if they know, if they get a grasp of what he feels for you they'll use you as a leverage. It's better if you stay away. You'll be safe that way.

He understood that in his last mission, as he fought and Worrick told him not to kill those humans. He wanted to kill them, be sure they would never get to you.

"Hey, we can't kill everyone" Worrick told him and Nico got mad.

"I will, I will kill everyone to get Y/n safe" he thought to himself and suddenly stopped in his tracks. He loved you. He loved your conversations. He loved that little tic of yours. He loved the way you saw him, how your stern and cold eyes melted as he was closer by.

He couldn't kill everyone, he couldn't guarantee your safety. No when he was closer. But if he wasn't there, you would be safe. 

"If you love someone let them go" Nico remembered reading something like that. He understood.

So when he smelled your perfume at the door and Worries answered, he panicked. He needed to push you away, and there was Alex reading a book. He snatched her from her place and put her in his lap, only to kiss her as if Alex were you. Slow, tender, passionate. He didn't saw you, he concentrated on the task at hand and got sure to break your heart.

#nicolas brown x you #nicolas brown x y/n #nicolas brown #nicolas brown x reader #nicolas brown gangsta #nico gangsta #x reader #gangsta manga #gangsta #gangsta anime #gangsta x reader #worrick arcangelo

[inlocusmads]

I had this thought about how Blades MC can be openly affectionate. like sure, even if you don't go down the "flirt w everyone" option, they are still warm and nurturing even to strangers. even to valax, who's a sworn enemy and maybe it has something to do with riverbend.

riverbend falls into the category of "every fantasy town ever" because it has quirky lil traditions, hero ceremonies and is the village in the proverb 'it takes a village to raise a kid'. i also suspect they'd have these fun pride-and-prejudice-esque balls and dance scenes where it is customary to kiss a person on their cheek and be just visibly affectionate, give them hugs and that stuck with mc and kade as they grew up.

and it also explains the kind of role they play in their friend groups and bringing about change. kade becomes an archivist, purely due to the interest making up stories has given him. telling stories in a pub in riverbend nurtured that interest that he's just more than a "sick, weak kid" and how the small pub audience who were just so keen on listening to him, as they danced, sang till dawn helped build that career he longed for.

and mc too. their openness and affection might just save morella. it did, the first time but in small ways. mc helped imtura gain closure in her relationship with her mother, being empathetic. mc helped nia battle with her own beliefs through kindness. mc gave so much back - especially in the scene where they chase down the kid to the orphanage where they were treated horribly, it helped mal put his coin into an orphanage business and bring life into his dormant realisation. mc helped tyril break through to kaya, help him rebuild the relationship w his family and enforce a conversation, even though it wasn't their business.

and what happened? they became great fighters against the shadow court. they were strong and secure on their emotional side. imtura never had to depend on her mother anymore or worry about what she had to say. tyril is secure enough to leave his house's future in adrina's hands. mal knows that if he ever comes back, he's going to open up that orphanage - make sure no kid has to go through what he did. nia harnessed her power of Light to do good - to do serious good and be encouraged to unlearn what the temple of light had brainwashed her with and to avenge the death of her mentor's.

and now it's with aerin and valax. aerin is still wrestling with a second chance, escaping and evading because he thinks he isn't deserving and mc gives him all the time to recoup. valax has never experienced actual human emotion, which makes her feel different and ostracized (i highly suggest you read @normal-thoughts-official's post about valax and her mother) and it makes her want to learn why mc is the way they are and mc understands; mc gives them a chance to experience it - offering an alliance where they can both get what they need without having to run and chase after each other.

mc might have a dozen million skills - archery, sword fighting, alchemy but it is ultimately their kindness that triumphs and ultimately, riverbend's kindness upon them that reinforces this and i think PB should acknowledge this instead of treating their "kindness" as something vulnerable and have characters dish on it every five fucking seconds.

#choices book club #blades of light and shadow

[butterflydm]

More thoughts on the Seanchan Problem (TM)

I recently ran across a very interesting set of posts about what we know & can guess about historical Sparta and how it doesn't much match Sparta as it gets glamorized in media: acoup[dot]blog/category/collections/this-isnt-sparta/

It got me to thinking about the Seanchan, and I wrote up a lot of what I'm posting here and but, funnily enough (I guess it makes sense that we're all thinking about how the show will handle the Seanchan right now!), some discussion about the Seanchan came up with @ofthebrownajah re: the show needing to handle the Seanchan differently than the books did (very much agreed on that point) and @markantonys re: the issues with how the Seanchan were handled in the books (also very much agreed) and it all seemed pretty related to this post that I had been working on.

So, the thoughts in the Sparta blog posts that I linked, about how a majority-slave population works (or fails to work), reminded me a lot about various questions that I've had about the Seanchan, especially as I've gone through my reread.

We know that the Seanchan were kinda a mishmash of Every Empire, but the slavery mentioned in Spartan society in particular seems to strike a pretty familiar chord (because it sounds like it was pretty brutal even by Greek standards).

This does get critical and it does get into major spoilers through Knife of Dreams.

We know from The Fires of Heaven (Rand & Avi's honeymoon trip) that there are constant uprisings and slave revolts on the Seanchan continent. The Seanchan like to playact at being the embodiment of 'order' when they come to try to conquer the Westlands, but they cannot even keep their own house in order. The whole reason they're good fighters/generals is explicitly because they've been fighting each other this whole time (we learn that in Winter's Heart).

Which is one of the reasons why Crossroads of Twilight and Knife of Dreams feel like such bizarre departures from the previously established 'reality' of the Seanchan as we know them -- in CoT & KoD, we're suddenly living in Tuon's sheltered dream-world about how the Seanchan work and the narrative (at least in Mat's storyline) seems to be asking us to take it at face value, both because Mat doesn't challenge it (and he should know better -- and DID know better back in WH) and because it backs her PoV up by giving us ~glowing~ recommendations from all her slaves that just adore her ~oh~ so much -- she's a GOOD slaver-owner who only beats her slaves *checks notes* when they say something that pisses her off while doing their best to obey her orders (Tuon's intro in Winter's Heart). Ah.

But at least she... allows them to get their wounds treated once they've groveled enough and convinced her that they love her more than anything and will lick her hand like a dog! So it's totally okay!

idk, even after some distance from my rereads of CoT & KoD, they are such a jarring experience. I have some complaints about the Sanderson co-authored books, which I talked about in-depth in my last reread post about AMoL, but nothing that approaches how I feel about how the Seanchan were handled in CoT & KoD, specifically in Mat & Perrin's storylines(*). Just... the whiplash that I get from the 180 that got pulled in-between WH & CoT in Mat's behavior alone(**).

And it's really that soft-focus glamorizing of the Seanchan in Mat & Perrin's storylines in CoT & KoD that makes me think about historical Sparta and how pop-culture history only focuses on the elite 5-10% of the population and not on the vast majority of the population who were being abused by said elites (if you're looking for a group in WoT that really does resemble "the 1%", then you should be looking at the Seanchan High Blood, not the Aes Sedai).

It does look like the show will be going hard with the Seanchan during S2 and really showing how horrific the slave-breaking is and I feel like, since they do have an overall plan in place, they probably already know what their endgame is for the Seanchan, so we won't get an abrupt "okay, slavery bad, sure but... what if the slaver is HOT when she tortures her slaves or prospective slaves? Have you thought about that?" and "What if you could save your wife for the low low price of selling two hundred women into a torturous existence for hundreds of years? What a bargain! Slavery is such a convenient tool, isn't it?" face-heel narrative turn like we had in CoT & KoD for Mat & Perrin.

But that kinda ties into a larger issue that it feels like Jordan was only partially aware of -- on one level, he definitely realized that objectification of women is not a great thing, but he also fell into it a lot without seeming to realize that he was doing it. There tends to be a vibe of "women being killed is an evil thing but women being tortured forever is okay because they're technically alive and that's all that matters; the quality of that life is not relevant in the way that it would be for a man".

In plotlines where Jordan was focused on women as people, he tended to do a lot better, but that only makes it stand out more in the places where he's failing to do that, imo.

The two hundred Shaido Wise Ones who get thrown into slavery are treated with less humanity than the single (male) Shaido prisoner whose hand Perrin cuts off. They're just the background element as Perrin thanks and praises the slaver who helped him buy his wife back with blood. Jordan frames two slavers (Tylee and Tuon) as "good ones" without actually making anything about their behavior different from the "bad ones" of the Seanchan, because they are important to the narratives of two of the main male characters and so get boosted into being 'better than the other Seanchan' without any actual behavioral changes on their parts(***). Protagonist-centered morality at its most 'yikes'.

When you combine this with Rand sending the damane back to the Seanchan after Semirhage's attack as a 'gesture of good faith', it just adds up to a vibe of "women's freedom is negotiable". And because of the focus in the latter books on the damane as opposed to the da'covale(****), it is women's freedom specifically that is shown not to be valued in the main male PoV chapters. We'll make a big deal about how we can't kill women, but we can let them be tortured and enslaved.

It's a very ugly theme for the three Two Rivers' boys all to be sharing in at the end of KoD. Jordan makes all of them make choices that are very dark, but Rand is the only one getting real narrative push-back about those choices (*!) by having people he respects with openly disagree with him on the matter (*!!).

The show really does need to either commit to having the change in Seanchan society actively begin to happen on-screen (*!!!), or they need to not have the boys willing to throw their morals away so easily. Ideally, both.

As it is, in the books, Perrin is just straight-up selling people into slavery at the end of KoD. Mat is having thoughts about how he would just curl up and die if this horrible slaver lady got killed. And, like Perrin, Rand has decided that women are property to trade around, though he is much more reluctant about it than Perrin (*!!!!).

...

(* Hmm, random thought but - I wonder if, for me, being so deeply unhappy with what Jordan was doing in Mat, Perrin, & Rand's storylines in CoT & KoD, meant that the different take that Sanderson had on the story (which is inevitable; no matter who took over the series, they would have a different take than Jordan did) was more likely to be something I would find positive because I was so disappointed with the state that Jordan had left things in?)

(** I know I repeat this a lot but Mat flips from sympathizing with the slaves to sympathizing with the slavers in less than a week, all off-the-page in-between Winter's Heart and Crossroads of Twilight so it just really stands out to me when he starts doing things like using slavery as a threat against the Aes Sedai and forcing former slaves to share a wagon with their former abusers; Bethamin was actively abusing Teslyn a week ago and Mat makes them share sleeping quarters, meanwhile Tuon gets to be in a wagon alone with her slave and Setalle Anan who, just like Mat, has flipped from sympathizing with slaves to sympathizing with slavers in less than a week, taking Tuon under her wing and behaving as if she's a wee child in need of protection and being amused when the child throws tantrums and breaks things)

(*** contrast this with Egeanin, who does have to undergo a lot of changes, and who actively goes against the Seanchan norm more and more as her storyline progresses -- but, notably, Egeanin has a lot less temporal power in the Seanchan empire than either Tylee or Tuon, and also notably, her change in direction began when she was part of Elayne & Nynaeve's storyline and finished up in Egwene's storyline -- meanwhile, Tylee making a deal with a local in order to secure two hundred more damane sounds like something any Seanchan Blood would be willing to sign off on, and all we see from the Mat and Tuon 'relationship' is him making concession after concession to her while she throws tantrums, makes threats, and hurts his companions. We do have Alivia as representing the people who are injured and marginalized by the Seanchan elite, but we get so much less on her background and narrative PoV than we do for Tuon, who is on the top of the social heap. Giving Alivia more page time and a PoV or two would have helped balance out all the Tuon/elite High Blood focus in CoT & KoD; instead all her big conversations with Rand happen off the page and the books never explore her justified anger at her oppressors)

(*** though even the da'covale seem to be weighted towards women? The 'entertainment slaves' who dance for the Blood's pleasure always seem to be women and it seems like the majority of the da'covale that we see are women)

(*! though the Wise Ones disapprove about what Perrin does, the narrative ignores them just as much as Perrin does; and the same goes for Mat's bizarre choices in CoT & KoD -- we're never let inside the PoV of one of the people with him who disapproves of what he's doing)

(*!! Nynaeve, though even she, in accordance with the laws of No One Is Allowed To Offer Solutions About The Seanchan Especially Not To Rand, doesn't tell Rand any of the information that she has that might actually help him make better choices, like all sul'dam being capable of learning to channel, which is important military information for him to have!)

(*!!! which means that we, at least, need Tuon acknowledging that she can channel and that their society needs to change - it has to come from someone who actually has power in the Seanchan Empire, not just exiles like Egeanin)

(*!!!! I will also never back down on this being one of the biggest TACTICAL mistakes that Rand ever makes in the series. Sending back the sul'dam would be fine, whatever, because they're essentially prisoners of war, but sending back the damane tells the Daughter of the Nine Moons that Rand agrees that women who can channel are fair game as property to be bought and sold, which is the worst possible footing to begin his negotiations with the Seanchan on, as he has already conceded that women can be property)

#wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #knife of dreams #seanchan content warning #this is kind of a ramble #my wot meta #wot #wheel of time #the wheel of time #yes the notes are just as long as the rest of the post

[racketballz]

I saw all those Powerpunk asks, so I’d like to present my take on names for the good-guy Rowdyruffs to the class.

The Readyright Boys (Cause they’re ready to do right or something. Idk I couldn’t come up with anything better)

First off is Branch, the leader man. I like this name because, in my head, it references the phrase ‘branching out’, as well as the saying ‘extending the olive branch’, which means to offer peace. Leaders should strive to be good peacekeepers, right?

Next up, Beacon, the heart of the team. This feels self-explanatory. Beacons are beams of light that guide people who’ve lost their way in darkness. Feels appropriate for a guy who’s supposed to fill a Bubbles-like role in the team.

Finally we have Buddy, the team’s own stubborn fighter. I’m a fan on this name because… it also begins with a B. I think it fits nicely into the category of names that your parents call you when they forget what your actual name is. Poor guy got snubbed. Not to mention that Buttercup’s name was originally going to be Bud (according to the wiki), and I wanted to pay homage to that.

You are a phenomenal artist btw. Thanks for keeping us PPG fans fed!

HAHA THESE ARE GOOD!!!!!! I especially like buddy hehehe

[lurkingshan]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Tagged by @clara-maybe-ontheroad to start some trouble. There are a lot of these, so I'm mostly going to do quick hits and maybe expand on a few that really get me going.

The categories are:

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

It would be easier to list the BL soundtracks that are not horrible (offense intended).

Most cringe-inducing line (cute)/Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad)

I'm so bad at remembering specific lines of dialogue unless I think they're beautiful/heart-wrenching, so I got nothing.

Most stupid decision made by a character

In a BL?? Baby, I do not have all day.

Worst plot line

Hmmm I'm gonna give in to recency bias and say faking amnesia to get your fiancé to love you again after you iced him out and denied him sex for four years because of your tiger attack-related PTSD (no I am not making that up, never change actually Naughty Babe).

The most problematic show you've watched

Problematic is in the eye of the beholder, so honestly who can say.

A show people love but you find bad

LOLOLOL. There are. So many. Probably the one with the wildest fandom fervor :: Shan personal enjoyment ratio is KinnPorsche.

A show people find bad but you will defend

Theory of Love and y'all stay wrong about this. It is easily one of the best early Thai bls and the writing, character development, and narrative structure are all excellent, but people hate slutty characters so they can't deal with it.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it/were horny/because of that one character

Why r u? What can I say, I'm a Fighter/Tutor girlie.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Hmmm I usually just drop it if I'm truly not having fun. I guess you could count me finishing Minato's Laundromat 2 despite knowing any hope for it was over at the end of episode 9. I just needed to see how mad I was going to be in the end (pretty damn mad).

A bad show that you would still recommend

There is too much BL nowadays to be trifling with the bad shit.

The character that ruined a show the most/most awful character that you hated

PLERN PLENG (Together With Me). cc: @bengiyo the co-president of the Plern Pleng antis.

Most awful character that you loved

Boston, a beautiful chaos demon (Only Friends).

A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like

Anyone played by Podd or Jimmy (it's their faces I can't stand them sorry to those men).

A hero that should have been a villain

This is an interesting one! I’m not sure this counts, but I’ll just say I did not love the way The Untamed white washed Wei Wuxian and removed his culpability for all his worst choices (I recognize this was largely due to censorship). I much prefer the more morally complex and deeply flawed version of him we got in MDZS.

A morally bad character you're into/you're not into and you wish people would stop being into

I don't believe in holding fictional characters to real life moral standards. Bad behavior makes for good stories.

The show that disappointed you the most

Let me take this opportunity to drag Plus & Minus again, a show that had all the right ingredients to be a top tier friends to lovers narrative and absolutely blew it to do some beyond clichéd noble idiocy and breakup bs that violated character and undercut the relationship to such a degree that I can never rewatch or enjoy anything about it again.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons

Hmm I do not have one. It's rare for me to not be able to find something of value in any media I consume.

Tagging @chickenstrangers @sorry-bonebag @kayatoasted @blmpff @twig-tea in case you want to play!

#tag game #bl ask game

[kourtniwritesagain]

HC‘s for Bucky, Steve, Sam and Peter Parker? :)

Bucky: Super Soldier Serum should be changed to Super Ticklish Serum. Bucky was ticklish pre-serum, but post...damn. He's super ticklish on his ribs, stomach, and back. His back is hyper ticklish, which makes him giggle like a child. Sam and Steve often get him pinned on his stomach and they go to town on his back. It's the super light tickles that get him the most, especially when it comes to his back. He is a switch for sure. He loves to tickle and he is happy to be tickled. Sam and Steve are the one who get him the most. Shuri gets him often, too, under the pretense of "updating" his tech.

Steve: See previous statement on serum. Steve was ticklish as fuck before the serum. It only got worse after. He's only second in the most ticklish Avenger category because Peter is first. But it's close. Steve is most ticklish on his stomach, especially right underneath his bellybutton and right at the line of his pelvis. He's also ridiculously ticklish on his sides. Quick squeezes to his sides have him hunching over and falling to the ground. Bucky loves to demonstrate Steve's ticklishness in front of all the new recruits at the most inopportune times for Steve. Meeting about a previous battle: tickle Steve's sides while he's talking. Demonstration on different non-lethal holds: tickle Steve's underarms. A stern lecture on what was done wrong in a battle: tackle Steve to the ground and tickle his stomach. Sam always helps Bucky.

Sam: He's not as ticklish as Steve or Bucky, but he has two death spots that will have him promising you his first born if you'll only stop. Those spots are his hips and his thighs. With those spots being seen as more intimate spots, he thought he was safe. He thought wrong. Bucky and Steve have ZERO qualms about pinning him down and raking their fingers over his hip bones and thighs for what seems like hours. Sam howls with laughter every single freaking time. The first time Steve and Bucky tag teamed him, Tony walked in halfway in his armor, thinking someone was being murdered. Sam begged for help, but Tony simply smirked with a "better you than me, bird brain" before he walked away.

Peter: Listen....he's basically the little brother of all the Avengers. He's a kid. A very capable fighter and a superhero in his own right, of course. But he's so fucking adorable when he's laughing and squirming and begging with all the "Mrs" and "Mr's" along with their last names. Plus, this boy is ticklish freaking everywhere. His spider sense makes him a million times more ticklish. It doesn't matter if it's soft tickling or harsher tickling, he's laughing his head off. He also gets super uncoordinated when tickled. He turns beet red from laughter and embarrassment when teasing comes into the picture, which it always does no matter who is tickling him. Tony also takes the route of "oh, this tickles? No way!" Whereas Bucky and Sam simply comment on his reactions, "Sam, tickling his knees has him screeching, did ya hear that?" "Yeah Bucky, crazy how something as simple as a few fingers around his knees has him making that sound. Let's see if he can make it when we tickle his ribs?"

#ticklish!peter #ticklish!sam #ticklish!bucky #ticklish!steve #marvel headcanons #kourtni answers things

[genshinconfessions]

Do you think there's actually any consistent theme on who gets what vision? The most consistent one is probably Pyro, their allogenes mostly being those with bright, bold, and energetic spirits, but aside from that what can there be said about the rest?

I feel like every time someone tries to propose a theory for it based on their backstory, there are glaring holes to be poked because of the similiarities characters have in personality and backstories. Like okay, you say geo is for those who are grounded and focused in their work, but then what does that say about Tighnari, Yanfei, and others with that trait? What does that say about Itto bring all over the place, in comparison to other geo allogenes?

What I'm basically saying is that, I find every allogene to vision theory made so far just, unsatisfactory. Am I the only one who feels this way? I really commend people's efforts but none have just, sat right with me.

the reason there are so many theories floating around is precisely because no one's really satisfied with the other theories so they each put out their own HAHAHA but personally, here's what i think:

minor spoilers for various character backstories!

--

anemo: ppl who used to be trapped in some way but now are free (and generally value their freedom) and have lost loved ones

ex: wanderer's entire backstory, faruzan being trapped in a ruin and solving her way out, kazuha escaping from the oppressive inazuma regime

cryo: ppl who are self-contradictory (and generally who have gone through some tragedy)

ex: kaeya being forced to choose between khaenri'ah and mondstadt, ganyu being stuck between the adeptus world and the human world, diona's hatred for alcohol yet her job is to serve alcohol

dendro: ppl who are wise beyond their years (and typically associated with life/rebirth)

ex: kaveh's trauma-filled life, baizhu's immortality and his views on it, collei maturing from hating the world to wanting to know more about it

electro: ppl who are outcasts of some sort (and generally intelligent and lonely)

ex: keqing not believing in rex lapis despite being a liyue leader, shinobu running away from her family because she didn't want to be a shrine maiden, fischl's entire persona

geo: ppl who work well or prefer to work in a team (and generally more concerned about others rather than themselves)

this one is slightly harder to notice than the others imo, but the recurring theme through every geo character's vision stories is 1. persistence/endurance, and 2. connection with the masses

ex. ningguang sacrificing jade chamber for liyue, noelle always being there for anyone who needs her help, arataki itto sticking by his gang's side even when they get into trouble

hydro: ppl who are hiding a darker side to them (and generally associated with either healing or truth)

ex. tartaglia seeming affable but actually being a big boss man, kokomi being very nice and unassuming but actually the genius leader of an uprising, barbara being the idol of mondstadt but actually gets depressed often

pyro: ppl who are very passionate about what they do and generally stubborn in their ways (also mostly very strong fighters)

ex: diluc upholding justice both before and after crepus's death, hu tao's general passion for both life and death, lyney's beliefs about his family and mission

--

of course, this is just what my little pattern-seeking brain has put together. it's definitely not guaranteed to be right, but i think the criteria i've come up with fits with each respective archon's values quite well

now regarding your main concern: of course you can say that arataki itto is also very passionate about what he does and is a strong fighter, or that tighnari is also persistent and team-focused, or that kokomi is a social outcast and also intelligent, etc, but tbh, i think that's being a little tooooo nitpicky lmao

ppl are complex, and good characters should also be complex; you can't shove ppl into categories based on one generic trait that most ppl exhibit at some point in their lives and call it a day (that was my main beef with the divergent series lmao but that's another story), so i think it's just a matter of what the hoyoverse devs thought fit the character's story or personality best, or what trait/background really set them apart from the other characters

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin confessions #lore #theories #character analysis

[palms-upturned]

Same anon from before. No, I still truly don’t feel like any of this is enough. I don’t trust myself or my own judgement to make the right decisions on these things and rely on whoever I believe falls into the category of “more right than not” (you would fall into that!) because I just want to not get yelled at. I want other people to be liberated too so I recognize that it’s not about my feelings but to that end I also believe I shouldn’t matter here and as a privileged person just be told (1/2

(2/2) What to do by people who know better than me. I know I’ll never be perfect or do enough so why shouldn’t the better among us just force us into a revolution right now? I’m too trapped by my job to be able to do local organizing. All the protests happen either while I’m at work or are already happening when I didn’t know it. People say to either take time for you or spend all your time on educating yourself and organizing but where does that leave my life? Worthless, I think. I wish someone Would just tell me so. Tell me yes or no; am I living correctly or not? Am I properly dedicating myself to what truly matters or not? I don’t want a revolution that happens after you and I are gone. I want one yesterday. I want one where we actually, ACTUALLY LEGIT force people to change their ways. Like, “sacrificing all your excess clothes and frivolus toys to the efforts” kind of force. I fucking hate living in this grey area where we could be trying our best but be unknowingly commiting evil At any time. I’m sorry, that was a lot. Just…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know what that says about me if I wish we just had hard and fast, unflinching RULES about how we should be acting right now and people to enforce it instead of being left to wade through our own flaws and imperfections and internal biases. I wish I could have them surgically removed and make myself a perfect fighter for justice

Well… I don’t really know what to say other than I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough and will never feel like enough. I know that uncertainty is painful and so is living under structures that we didn’t ask to be built. I don’t think that wanting to escape those things says anything particularly bad about you. I think all of us do. But the revolution didn’t come yesterday, and things just are what they are… At some point, you have to be able to make peace with that. Not to the extent of accepting the way things are, but to the extent that you can still see value in your life and in putting in the work to change things. Whatever work you can do.

Knowing whether or not you’re doing the “right thing” can only come from your own convictions. Those will solidify the more you learn and act on them and see the results. That, I think, is how you cope with the uncertainty. You do what is within your power, and you believe in what is within the reasonable scope of your observations. Even if there really was someone who you could rely on to tell you how to live correctly and what truly matters, you would still have to have a reason to personally believe that they were “more right than not.” I know it sucks, I really do. But you have to let go of the fantasy of being able to just give the reins to someone else. You have to see yourself as someone capable of conviction.

And believe me, I know how frustrating it is to deal with the limits. I am also annoyed at protests always happening on weekends when blue collar workers don’t get to have the day off to attend, including me. I’m annoyed at how many events I don’t get to go to because nobody requires masks indoors. I’m endlessly angry about how much time and strength I waste on my full time retail job just to be allowed to live in some degree of dignity when I could be putting that energy toward organizing. I hate how many layers there are to this beast that makes organizing inaccessible to the people who need it most. And I hate the limits of my body sometimes, too. But it is what it is and it won’t get better if we don’t accept it for what it is and work out what to do about it.

Regardless of any “value” that someone could assign your life, you have a right to be here like anyone else. And you are not as powerless as people would like you to think, nor as powerless as you would probably be relieved to think. We have an obligation to do what we can to improve things, and for most of us, there’s a lot more that we can do than we know. But there’s still a lot that we can’t do. And it’s so despair inducing at times like this, but we can’t let that stop us from doing something.

I know you’re probably just venting and I don’t really know what I can say to make any of this easier. I also don’t necessarily think it’s true to say that I’m “more right than not.” But I’ve hit suicidal rock bottom before and I don’t wish that for you. I know it hurts to work toward an ideal world knowing that we likely won’t live to see it if it even comes to exist at all. I know it hurts to know that our lives are dependent on the exploitation of others in ways that we can’t currently entirely avoid. But in the same way, our lives support other lives. And we can strengthen that support so long as we live and try. That’s what gets me through.

#asks #anon

[whinlatter]

She IS a writer.

Have a pear. 🍐

Firstly THANK YOU, she is trying to be 🥲

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Like a lot of readers and authors, I definitely like to write and read work that reconsiders which moments in characters’ lives were most formative emotionally, particularly ones that, in canon, are mentioned either as asides or barely relevant to the central plot. Harry as a limited narrator doesn’t always see other characters, especially the adults around him, that clearly. I think this the sort of work that really great Marauders fanfiction can do so beautifully: seeing flawed adult characters and working backwards to trace the emotional contours of their life that fashioned them into the imperfect articles we see in canon. I think it’s so exciting to go back and play around with that!

My fic idea notes are often along these lines. Like, Arthur Weasley was violently attacked in a near fatal attack in OotP and… no one ever mentions it again. Like, how was Arthur doing after that? Did it change his attitude to fatherhood? Does he think about it every Christmas? Or — in the war, Dean Thomas and Hermione are both persecuted as muggleborns, but Dean is a young Black boy likely from East London in the mid-nineties, and Hermione - even if we take her race as canonically undefined - seems to be the daughter of affluent dentists either from London or the Home Counties who goes skiing. How might those two characters, Dean especially, think about the vast differences them in the Muggle world while being placed in the same category as equals in the Wizarding World?

The other big one is the place of politics in the Wizarding World, and particularly the politics of resistance. The big one I’m desperate to try and sort out and write about, somehow, is how the Weasley family came to be and managed their status as a family of the resistance. It’s played down so much in canon, because the family first get introduced as Harry’s best friend’s family to provide a source of warmth and love for a young boy without one, and later seem to end up at the heart of the Order accidentally, almost through Harry. But it’s clear from so many throwaway details - the deaths of Fabian and Gideon Prewett, the divergence in the Black/Weasley/Prewett family trees, and the way Molly and Arthur willingly move their children to Grimmauld in OotP and later establish Order headquarters in their family home, that this is a family for whom resistance is a birthright. Molly frets about her children’s safety, but she also is committed to the cause, undertakes Order missions in her own right, and eventually duels Bellatrix Lestrange and wins. Bill transfers to London from his job in Egypt to be more active in the Order; Charlie recruits foreign fighters from abroad. From generation to generation, the family are openly political, subversive and actively resist both the influence of dark magic but also - and especially - aspects of the state and society entrenched in inequality and blood purity. I’ve been thinking about a lot about the Weasleys, and about political causes and fights that span generations, like Catholic Republican families in twentieth century Ireland, for instance. I’m itching to try to develop this theme in something, either through the Ginny character study I’m writing, or in its own one shot, and put politics at the centre of the family. (The Percy fight looks even juicier in this light, no?) It’s why I love ce ne sont que des cailloux by @pebblysand so much, for the ways it takes up this question to look at the Delacours and speculates about their generational history of resistance, including during the Occupation.

That said - the quick boring answer really should just be I will read every James Potter redemption fic I can get my hands on, and keep trying to have a go at writing one. Canon does the man extremely dirty! James was a character beloved by all-round canonical goodies, and he deserves fics that attend both to his clear good traits and his growing-up arc from teenager to young man, both of which are erased in canon. So justice for James 4 ever 💘

(ask me anything!)

#ask #this was a very fun question ty ty #i always want more politics and more james potter basically

[official-kenralie-fanbase]

hello i would like to see your list of Characters Who Might Die from the fitz ask if you dont mind :)

Ooh yes I would love to list the Characters Who Might Die :D

tw for death obviously and going under a cut for space

So most book series in which characters die have The Big Death. How I've found it usually goes is that several minor/secondary characters die along the way, a couple per book, then a LOT of secondary characters die in the final book, along with The Big Death- a major character- like the love interest, best friend or parent of some sort, or even the protagonist (looking at you Veronica Roth). KOTLC is following that rule to some extent. There have been several deaths but none that were too incredibly devastating. It is a middle-grade series, and there hasn't been a character death in every book, so I'm guessing there won't be as many deaths in the finale. But there will probably be a couple along with The Big Death. And I have several ideas on who that may be.

Okay so this will be in most likely to least likely (excluding villains- I highly doubt either Fintan or Gisela will end the series alive)

Lord Cassius. Honestly, I debated a lot on whether I should put him in the "good character" category because I despise that man. But out of everyone in KOTLC that isn't directly evil, I think he is the most likely to die. He might not be The Big Death, especially if anyone else on this list dies, but it's still worth noting. Gisela will probably go after Keefe once she realizes he's not going along with her plan, and Lord Cassius will die saving his life. They'll have a super emotional father-son moment where Cassius says something like "I always loved you Keefe" and gets some inkling of a kind of redemption arc before he dies.

Oralie. She is the single most likely candidate for The Big Death, in my opinion. There's honestly been a lot of foreshadowing for her secretly being a really great fighter- "never underestimate the quiet beauties", and "I think you might be the strongest of all of us", among other things. I think she is going to jump in at the crucial moment and end up fighting someone- likely Sophie's father if I'm right and he's a part of the Neverseen- to save Sophie. OR, for an extra dose of angst, I've had the idea lately that she might die to save Keefe, actually, not Sophie. She'll see Sophie and Keefe's relationship and realize how similar it is to her relationship with Kenric, and end up dying to save him. There might be a line like "I couldn't save Kenric, but I can save you." And then of course there will be a heartbreaking scene as she's dying between her and Sophie where Sophie forgives her or something, and I will be sobbing buckets in my college dorm room.

Ro. You know that rule in the Spiderman movies that if a character says "With great power comes great responsibility" they're going to die? Well, KOTLC has its own version of that: all of the important characters that have died have given Sophie something before they died: Kenric gave her his cache (through Oralie but it still counts), Calla gave her the Panakes tree (the cure), Mr. Forkle gave her his Wanderling seed and his device for keeping important things. All of these things have had varying impacts on the plot, but all very important. And Ro gave Sophie her dagger, Hope. There's no way that this isn't going to be important (Chekhov's gun, anyone?). Ro's told Sophie how Keefe feels about her and given her something to fight with- so everything she was hiding has now been revealed. I think she's very likely to be The Big Death- Sophie and Keefe both care about her and she's the exact type of character to dive into danger to save these kids.

Tiergan. Honestly, he is the exact type of character who might die. He's just minor enough of a character that it wouldn't break the series, and just major enough of a character that he has The Big Death potential. He's always been there and has given a lot of crucial intel to the series but has never really been involved in a big battle that I remember (correct me if I'm wrong). And he's incredibly loyal to these kids- like 1/3 of the main kid group has been adopted by him. He could very easily die to protect them. And looking at the characters that have died so far- Kenric, Calla, Forkle 1- he would fit right in the mix.

Wylie. I have one main reason for this: He's the only member of the main kid group (besides Rayni but she's too recent of a character to kill off) that isn't technically a kid. Yes, there is one actual kid on this list, but I highly doubt that Shannon would kill too many literal children because she hasn't yet. Most of the kids are safe in my opinion (Dex, Keefe, Linh, Tam, etc.) besides the one mentioned below. Wylie, on the other hand, is 20, and close to a lot of the kid characters (Solreef family <3). Even though I don't want my boy to go through anything else... he might very well die for *angst* purposes.

Fitz. This would probably be the worst option on the list, especially if it's done to resolve the love triangle. But... I can see it happening. He's both smart and loyal, and he cares very deeply about his friends. There are several characters I can see him sacrificing himself for: Sophie, Keefe, Biana, Alden/Della. If it's done, I really hope it's not to resolve the love triangle and that he has some excellent development before it happens. Shannon is a good enough writer that she could make it absolutely devastating without having anything to do with the love triangle.

Lady Cadence. This is kind of a shot in the dark but it still has its merits: She's contributed enough to the story that it would be a major setback if she died, but that's precisely why I think Shannon might go in this direction. Like I said earlier, Shannon hasn't actually killed off too many characters. If Lady Cadence was The Big Death and not a more prevalent character, it would be in keeping with the death level in the rest of the series.

Livvy. Same reason as Lady Cadence: A good character whose death would be a setback but wouldn't ruin the plot.

Alden. I don't want those poor Vacker children to have to go through anything else, but once again, Alden might very well be The Big Death. I don't really have any specific reasons why, just a gut feeling. This is the least likely death on this list, but I think he's important enough of a character to several of the main cast that he might die as a sort of "apology" for all of the mistakes he's made.

Honorable mentions, or characters that might die without being The Big Death: Blur and/or Wraith, several of the Councillors, Trix, Woltzer/Lovise/Bo or another bodyguard

Sorry this turned out to be so long! I have a lot of things to say lol If anyone wants to know any more predictions/theories I have, just let me know!

#kotlc #kotlc analysis #kotlc theories #tw death mention #tw death #stellarlune spoilers #just in case #tw gun mention #long post #doodlecat2000 #thanks for the ask!

[gentaroukisaragi]

okay i thought of this like weeks ago, made it last week, but havent brought myself to post it til now

Also let's keep in mind that i've only seen like 6 sentai...and only finished 2 of them..So i might not have any clue what I'm talking about when I show you the below picture, because I'm working primarily off of Wikipedia summaries.

For slightly further explanation:

The sentai is the job = having superpowers and getting paid for them. most are about getting hired to be a warrior, especially early on, but I've also included ones where you basically make your own money through the powers (Gokaiger, Kyuranger, Lupinranger.)

The sentai is a 2nd job = primarily adults who would be focusing on their main work if they weren't also called to defend the world against evil or whatever. Usually unpaid, but I only learned last week that the inspiration for this tierlist (Boonboomger) literally has Mira say that being a Boonboomger(/working for the delivery service) is her second job, so I put them here even though they originally were in the first tier. This category is primarily about the drudgery and annoyance of having to work a second job, even if it's something as noble as guarding the Earth (or Japan or your town or whatever) from fuckheads

What's a job? = originally for teams comprised of people who aren't (and shouldn't) be in the job market, whether due to their age or due to their upbringing/place of birth, it's also a bit of a catchall category for teams mostly comprised of jobless/unpaid members.

ALSO I'm only working off initial team formations, aka whoever was in the first ep. If it's a three person team that eventually becomes five, i'm going off of the circumstances of the first three members, and only for how they were during the events of the show (so all the 10 years after, 20 years after, etc don't count in the eyes of this tierlist)

If you have further insight as to which category any of these teams SHOULD be in, please feel free to let me know! There's literally over 48 years of television shoved into a single image, I'm definitely not gonna know the ins and outs of various characters' circumstances. I would not be against redoing this.

Specific reasons why (i think) each team is in each category below the cut.

Gorenger - Originally hired by The Earth Guard League, these members survive a terrorist attack that kills every other member, before they are recruited to become the Gorengers. Verdict: The sentai is the job

JAKQ - Hired to become cyborgs, the JAKQ team fights against Crime's dastardly deeds and villains. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Battle Fever - Recruited to fight Egos. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Denjimen - Wikipedia says these five may or may not be related to the Denji people (aka the people who all died in the prologue to this series) so essentially they're randos, who all have other jobs according to the wiki, who have been called to defend earth. By a robot dog? Verdict: The Sentai is a 2nd job

Sun Vulcan - wait a sec this is a direct sequel to Denjimen? huh?! anyways these guys are already elite crime fighter-types who are recruited to become even more elite crime fighter-types. Against solar crime! anyways. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Goggle V - Theyre just randos who are also called to save the world by Dr. Hongo. I don't always take '[character x] used to be [occupation y]' as direct confirmation of the second category (especially as all of the previous ones have that) but since these guys clearly weren't doing a lateral job move/promotion, I think it's safe to say Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Dynaman - Literally the plot summary is that they're all inventors, working on other stuff, but they've been forced to work together ot stop the Jashinka empire. Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Bioman - What is with aliens leaving shit for future earth generations to clean up? Naw im kidding, every human in history does that. anywho looks like all of them have other jobs that they could be doing if they didn't have to drop things at the last minute to go be biomen. Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Changemen - Military people become super sentai members. A tale as old as the incarnation of sentai. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Flashman - The unfortunate thing is these five young people were kidnapped as infants to space and though they survived, they ultimately must continue to fight against the threat that initially hurt them, even as they search for their biological parents. the good thing is that these guys probably don't know jack shit about the horrors of capitalism. Congrats to my very first team of Verdict: What's a job?

Maskman - These guys do not seem to be getting paid for all the training effort they have to do to fight off Tube. They had to spend a year getting ready to fight them and it does not seem like Sugata paid them (except for Takeru and Kenta and that was for their racing related abilities, not the martial arts.) While training for a martial art can be a lifelong task…yeah i'm just putting them in Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Liveman - We finally come to the first sentai i've personally watched! (have yet to finish but i am really fond of this series!) That being said, everyone seems way too young and unemployed to care about having a job. (How do they pay for stuff? I dunno man but I think theyre just squatting on academia island.) Verdict: What's a job?

Turboranger - Wikipedia is telling me they are children, and i believe children should not be forced into labour. (also is this the first sentai with all child members? i know some of the other teams have had young members before, but this is the first one that says that they're all minors) Verdict: What's a job?

Fiveman - They are all siblings and they are all teachers! That's kinda fun. It's too bad teachers are unappreciated (hopefully they're not as underpaid in japan?) Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Jetman - Ryu was hired to be a jetman, Kaori is an heiress (not a real job), Ako is in high school and Gai seemingly has no job other than to be gay as fuck. Raita is the only one with anything close to a dayjob. Not enough sway for either of the first two categories. Verdict: What's a job?

Zyuranger - Ancient civilization guys who wake up after suspended animation? They surely do not have jobs. Verdict: What's a job?

Dairanger - This is tough because on the one hand they seem very young. But some of them appear to have jobs. But also I wish they didn't have a job. Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Kakuranger - I mentioned earlier that training for a martial art can be a lifelong task without clarifying whether or not that counts as a job. Primarily this silly little tierlist is about work as paid labour, and whether or not the sentai counts as that or if its members are willing to engage with that aspect of capital. it might just be me overhyping/fantasizing about this, but to me continuing a martial arts style is like preserving a language; it's noble and important and should be done, but capital doesn't always see it as something with monetary value. It's just something that someone feels must be done or something one is forced into. (Just like being part of a sentai team.) Anyways that's a longwinded way of saying Verdict: What's a job?

ohranger - More military guys become super sentai members. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Carranger - What if you went to work and there was an alien who wanted to give you and your coworkers another job? Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Megaranger - More children! Verdict: What's a job?

Gingaman - Members of a tribe willingly hidden from the modern world. (or at least that's what I'm getting from the wiki.) I think they should be allowed to not work. as a treat. Verdict: What's a job?

GoGoFive - Genuinely wonder what emergency services personnel outside of this family think of them. Literally all five siblings working to save lives? Wonder what kinda drama that leads to. Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Timeranger - Man I feel bad for this Tatsuya guy! What are you supposed to say when future cops force you to help them out with current future crimes? Verdict: The sentai is the job

Gaoranger - Literally the wiki page just says "Kai Samezu was UNEMPLOYED before he was chosen to become Gao Shark" which I think is kinda fucked up. But anyways, since everyone else also had to abandon their lives (and their jobs) to be Gaorangers; Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Hurricangers - These guys are ninjas who don't want to be ninjas, but are forced to be ninjas anyways. Based solely on the main series (and also just the ninjas.) Verdict: What's a job?

Abaranger - The wikipedia page says: Yukito Sanjyo (三条 幸人, Sanjō Yukito): A 21-year-old chiropractor from Sapporo who initially became Abare Blue (アバレブルー, Abare Burū) for the money there is no other mention of payment, getting paid or having a job that I can see (other than Abarekiller formerly being a doctor) Verdict: The sentai is the job (?)

Dekaranger - Dekaranger is another entry in the modern iteration of military guys become sentai members, which is cops/emergency personnel become sentai members. There could be something interesting about ideas of justice and who is capable/allowed to mete out justice in a more serious analysis of this that i don't currently have the ability to do myself. but maybe one day. (Also even this light hearted analysis is primarily focused on paid and unpaid labour so. another tangent for a different day) Verdict: The sentai is the job

Magiranger - Wikipedia says nothing about their jobs, only noting that the red leader is the youngest sibling in high school. My guess is that they're too busy being magicians to have jobs. so by default Verdict: What's a job?

Boukenger - A private company has their own special team to deal with some bad guys who want to capture powerful items called Previous. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Gekiranger - What if you went to your work and there was a weird cat who wanted you to give you and your coworker and some guy who was raised by tigers a second job? (2/3 wins) Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Go-onger - Everyone had to leave their old jobs to become Gon-ongers, so to me that means Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Shinkenger - Vassals get paid, right? Right?! Verdict: The sentai is the job

Goseiger - They're literal angels and they shouldn't have to work. Verdict: What's a job?

Gokaiger - They're pirates first and foremost. Stealing shit and fighting people is part of the job. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Go-Busters - The sentai is the job. They've been training like 13 years for this. They do not get to have regular lives and regular jobs after having their lives changed like this. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Kyoryuger - Daigo, Souji and Amy don't work, so just barely with 3/5, Verdict: What's a job?

Tokkyuger - If you know, you know. Verdict: What's a job?

Ninninger - team of mostly students/ninjas. Verdict: What's a job?

Zyohger - Team of mostly literal animals. Verdict: What's a job?

Kyuranger - Rebels against empire. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Lupinranger vs Patranger - Cops as sentai is old hat. Thieves as sentai? They should do it again. for me. Also cafe work is just a cover anyways. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Ryusoulger - Just like the Gingaman, if you don't have to interact with capitalism, you shouldn't. Verdict: What's a job?

Kirameiger - Allegedly CARAT was made to fight Yodonheim so. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Zenkaiger - The zenkaigers have human forms? Fucked up. Anyways, apparently some of them work at Colorful, and Vroom did have a job before he defected but he had to defect so he's not going back there. Anyways these guys don't have jobs are you kidding me. Verdict: What's a job?

Donbrothers - It's a second job, but just barely. Momoi's a deliveryman, Kijino's a consultant? and Tsubasa would be an actor. 3/5's enough for me. Verdict: The sentai is a 2nd job

Kingohger - When you become a king for real, they just give you a sword and a cool giant bug. Verdict: The sentai is the job

Boonboomger - As Mira said, it's a second job. She and definitely Jou have other

In conclusion, thanks for reading all of this fucking text oh my god, and remember: stealing and rebelling against empire are real jobs, being an heiress is not

#common sayings #whew! what a long post #it was really fun checking out all the sentai shows. im even more pumped up to watch them! eventually

[burdenedreverance]

The Importance of Duty and Choice

du·ty

noun

a moral or legal obligation; a responsibility.

choice

noun

an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

If someone hasn’t guessed a big theme of this blog is the overarching idea of ‘duty’ and ‘choice.’ At what point does someone’s responsibilities end and the consequences of choosing. I like to believe that in writing the character that is Hayden I’ve somewhat developed a throughline in his threads and asks, that he feels obligated to use his natural abilities for a ‘just cause.’ Often times that manifests in a physical bravery and moral courage, as it is the easiest that comes to him. 

But a big question people might have is why does he feel compelled to act this way? When one takes a duty onto them it is usually by some outside force more often than not; society, work, religion, etc. These external forces which speak of responsibility and the burdens we share as a collective. That is not always the case. It has been well documented that an individual might simply feel compelled to aide in the public good, for no reason other than it is the right thing to do. Regardless of the sacrifice to themselves, or livelihood. It is why we place such high emphasis on personal responsibility and personal sacrifice. You do not have to do these things, you choose to. 

Hayden falls into the latter category, of those who merely feel compelled to look after his fellow man because they are human. That by merit of sentience, existence, and common history he has a responsibility to look after them. To fight the battles that some cannot. He was born with a higher-than-average physical ability, and he is a strong-willed man. If he was born with more wit, perhaps smarter, then he might turn those attributes to the common good. 

But he was not. By circumstance and the choices he made, it has made him a fighter. A warrior. His duty isn’t to merely offer his life, to die, it’s to achieve something in the process of it. If by living his life he can better those around him, himself, and the world; than that is his duty. It’s also his choice. I think it’s important to recognize that. That he doesn’t follow dogma merely because of the faction or organization he serves, if he did then his duty would end and begin where they told him it did. 

Is it tragic? Maybe. I don’t particularly see it as that. I don’t think Hayden’s story is particularly sad, to me at least. I think it has elements of sadness, of strife. It also has reassuring moments of victory and vulnerability. He falters, he fails, he grows. When someone is guided by their heart, they’re gonna make the wrong choices. It’s accepting those choices, learning from them, that matters more. 

It might even seem idealistic, or naive. After all, choosing to suffer on the behalf of those who would regard you little is an net loss. There are some people who will never improve, some people who are beyond saving. There are values that you could potentially attach to the lives of people in dangerous situations. ‘Should I protect myself because my worth and skills are of more use than that of this child? This random civilian?’ The answer is always the same for Hayden. It may not be the right answer, it may not even be the sensible answer. 

Circling back. Duty and choice. Responsibility. Burdens are not easy to bear. 

He chooses to be obligated to the world. ‘If not me then who?’ You can’t begin to change the world, or even those around you, without mastering yourself. And these standards, yes standards, he sets for himself is in the hopes that those after him does better than he ever could. The biggest misconception of Hayden is that he thinks he can do it on his own; in reality he’s just someone who believes in setting the example. 

I think at the end of the day, his joy outshines any melancholy in him. 

#meta. insights #headcanon. fog of war #v. the masked forged by injustice . rogue shinigami #v. a blade forged by will . gotei

[ckcker]

Splotch 2

My alert system was consumed in portentous mince; by glancing once more at Bianca and Q.C. in the distance it seemed undeniable that they were entranced by dilemma.  I learned that I was able to detect a look of worry in another via eyebrow inversion and shoulder subduement by up to ~250 feet, which gave me a certain pride that was excitingly inappropriate. I could not ignore the moment in which I noticed a shrill truth, regardless of its appearance in a wider narrative tonally at odds with that screeching truth-strobe.  I had the unusual ability to detect non-verbal social cues of worry and disconcertment in others by up to around 250 feet if not more, I don’t think I should just let that power fly by unnoticed.  Decidedly, intrusive thoughts can’t be all bad.  Looking down on Bianca and Q.C. who were sitting on the stairs in front of Rob’s apartment door, I also expected the worst because I lived in a repetitious barrage of media-propagated schlock.  

In fact I was no longer able to take in “good” books, “good” movies, not even the nefarious category of “good” TV, but only unrespectable schlock in which there was always a disproportionately large amount of action, 2D despair and physical comedy. “Did you see that movie about the Jewish woman who passed as Aryan during World War II and, having survived, goes searching for her child who she hears has allegedly escaped to Mexico?,” people asked each other.  I had not, I never would, “I loved it, but,” and here the grimace swung in, a tone of impenetrable seriousness was joyfully fortified, “so hard to watch.”  I did not know how to explain that I greatly preferred the Colombian horror movie from 1983 in which the incest of two upper class siblings conjures a punishing curse that leads to their cannibalistic zombification, they are then unleashed in the countryside to freely commit murder and steal babies from farmers.  Both movies had their deep truths no doubt but schlock did not present itself as deep truth, and somehow it felt like my personal lullaby.  Seriousness was only interesting to me when adorned in a genre-fied baroque; the recommendation of a new important doc was enough to blast my immature and derealized macro-tuchus onto a teleological bed of spikes.

I also did not trust that the generalized maker of a World War II drama knew what they were doing, I despised the flattening of the experience of war by the conventions and constraints of the entertainment problem.  I began to descend the hill that lead to the apartment complex, looking at parking lot lights, at a pale green caterpillar at my feet, not at Bianca or Q.C.  Nothing was more serious than war, it felt almost disrespectful to depict it without unbridled and relentless brutality which most audiences would not want to experience and would not be able to withstand.  I would not watch the gently popular documentary about the Sandinistas that depicts them as not only freedom fighters but also undeniable rock stars, and includes several pan-and-scan photo sequences of female Sandinistas holding machine guns in iconic stance against a sudden soundtrack shift to stock-generated garage rock that perhaps an NPR sub would wistfully conflate with a widespread 1960s-era activist ambiance, internalize, and finally, conclude in the disorganized mathematics of the soul to be quite rock’n’roll.  

Yes, I once loved depressing, extremely serious movies and books.  But now the myth of seriousness always seemed to betray me.  I could no longer withstand the time-based bastardization of intimate personal experience under the poisonous guise of Truth, but I also could not reach the envious level of those I had met who did not really like movies or TV and did not watch them, feeling that the displacement of their own active time into another reality was a hypertrophic waste of it.  Thus, I gorged on schlock, and was satisfied by the lack of villainous and derailing ambition to depict deadly serious topics free of their thorough immensity.  Feeling secure in my great generalization, I approached the foot of the apartment complex stairs.  I looked up to Bianca and Q.C.  In return, they looked down at me, and Bianca nodded.  “Hi. Gail and Rob are missing.”  Eventually the widening gyre will be at its target width.  How brave!  That will be very encouraging for the widening gyre.  

[gamergoo]

what are the best rebel alliance starfighter and best imperial starfighter

Oh thank you for the question this activated my autism so hard!!!!

I think first we should define “best” because Star Wars makes it very clear that different fighters are made for different purposes, largely divided I to 4 categories? They are:

Fighters: solid all around in terms of speed, firepower, and shields when that’s a factor

Interceptors: the fastest ships, not usually super powerful but they’ll win a dogfight through speed and maneuverability

Bombers: heavily armed strike craft, usually slower but with better shields more often than not, but their speed makes them a target

Support craft: VERY loosely defined, they’re the biggest ones and usually have the most guns and most crew, can be used as troop transport in surface side engagements

Of course there are hybrid purpose craft, and it’s important to understand that they work in concert, bombers will move to take out a larger target, defended by fighters, and the enemy will send out interceptors to, get this, intercept them and take them out so their own fighters can move to target the bombers, meanwhile the support ships do. Something. I’ll move on to my answers here.

For the Alliance I think it’s probably gotta be the(T-65) X-wing manufactured by INCOM. I went back and forth between this and the B-wing but I think it’s gotta be the X-wing.

The T-65 was a fast, agile fighter with shields, 4 blasters, and most importantly for the alliance, a hyperdrive. It’s important to understand the “galactic civil war” (in parentheses because the clone wars were more of a civil war, but I digress) was an asymmetrical conflict, and a LOT of that war was reliant on hit and run tactics and abusing the bureaucracy of the empire. A lot of the rebel tactics involved using hyperspace capable strike craft(which to be fair the A and Y wings also had) to get in, hit a target, and then retreat to a different sector where imperial infighting would allow them to go unpunished. The X-wing being so versatile was key to this, it was fast, powerful, shielded, and easy to train on because almost every INCOM craft, speeder and fighter alike, share a control scheme, allowing almost anyone to become a skilled pilot. It’s not an exaggeration to say the X-wing toppled the empire.

Now for the Empire! I’ve always felt very strongly that imperial fighter doctrine was like why they failed. Almost every TIE model was unshielded and incapable of hyperspace travel so pilots died a LOT and couldn’t be sent on scouting missions without a deployment craft. The benefit for this was that TIE ships were blisteringly fast and hit like a truck, with the obvious downside being the like frightening lack of visibility(albeit made up for with a powerful sensor suite) but I think the clear winner here, not including any TIE advance models, is probably gonna be the TIE defender, despite my favorite being the interceptor.

This fucking travesty of a design is the TIE/d manufactured by SIENAR fleet systems. It was a hybrid fighter/interceptor that never saw full scale production. 6 blasters, full shields, a hyperdrive, AND concussion missile launchers. This thing could fly circles around an A-wing, beat an X-wing in a blaster fight, and it could show up wherever it wanted to with no warning. it was the most advanced starfighter in the galaxy at the time it was designed, so why doesn’t anyone recognize it and why did the empire still lose? Well. You see it was reeeaaaallly expensive because of all it could do, and also the emperor preferred to spend money on a little project called the Death Star, so it never reached full production, and the test site was blown up by a child.

I think in general I prefer the SIENAR designs, but the empire had an absolute dogshit naval philosophy that made no sense. Like the Tarkin doctrine was about force projection so they built crazy strong starships, but their fighters were designed with a “quantity over quality” philosophy that literally cost them the war because a fucking VCX freighter could go toe to toe with your average TIE fighter, and their best ships cost literally 5 times as much as the average TIE/ln and they were already bankrupting the galaxy building 3 planet killers at the same time. I’ll never stop saying that imperial arrogance and pride cost them everything

Anyway thanks for the question! I’m sure you can tell this is a special Interest of mine, and if you get me started on the best full naval vessels I’ll probably explode with information about the Resurgent Class Battlecruiser

#Star Wars #Vesta’s Ship Design Rants

[dollar-store-apocrypha]

The World Will Never Be The Same by joyofthejoui / @nientedenada

fandom || Skyrim rating || T categories || gen pairings || f!OC & f!OC genre || character study, meet-cute (kinda) characters of note || - status || 1/1, 5.5k

About eighty years before the events of Skyrim, a young Bosmer thief meets the love of her life in Raven Rock. Emilin meets Curinwe. A prequel to "The Bonds of Civility", starring a character from that fic and the Dragonborn's grandmother. But stands on its own. (Pre F/F. One day these two will get together, but right now they are still kids.)

***

Emilin stood up and went to the bars. “What are you doing here?” she whispered. The girl was alone; Emilin did not think she had been brought down here by any guard.

“I came to see you,” said Curinwe quietly. “The guard told me you didn’t have any money and that’s why stole my purse.”

“Uh . . .” Emilin was surprised. One of these stiff-necked guards had enough compassion to summarize it that way?

“What’s your name?” Curinwe asked.

“Emilin,” she answered.

“Are you from Valenwood?”

“Yes.” She stared at the girl. “Why are you back here? Did you find your notes?”

Curinwe nodded. “The purse was right where you said it was. You should have just told me you needed money.”

Emilin began to laugh. “What? Do you give away your coins to beggars then?”

“Only if they’re girls,” said Curinwe promptly. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen.”

“I thought you were my age,” said Curinwe, sounding disappointed. “I’m twelve but I’m taller than you!”

“You aren’t! You’re wearing boots!” On average, Bosmer were smaller in stature than other races, but this girl wasn’t so tall herself.

Curinwe looked down at her feet. “No, I’m definitely taller than you.”

“Take off your boots then!”

***

I loved the layers in this. On the surface it's a relatively light-hearted tale of their (awkward) first meeting, but then there's these sinister details, from a fourteen-year-old girl 'bedwarming' to the lists made of Bosmer defying the Green Pact ban, and then knowing how Curinwe's parents end up. -- likelolwhat

I really, really enjoyed this. Your worldbuilding is stellar, your knowledge of lore and the world you’re writing in is top notch, and the characters you’ve created are wonderfully well-rounded and three dimensional. An absolute pleasure to read. <3 -- raunchyandpaunchy

Beyond all the context and backstory and deft character building, though, this story was just so well executed and engrossing. You have a knack for subtle world building through natural details without needing to rely on copious description or exposition, and I admire it a lot. Your characters also feel like young teenagers, very real and familiar even in the fantasy setting— you nailed Emilin's specific blend of naivete and bravado, angst and hopefulness. I can already tell she's a fighter. -- cosmikaze

#tes #the elder scrolls #skyrim #skyrim fanfiction #fic recs #gen fic #one shot #solstheim