#or I'll see a post about an anime that's very clearly Not The Same Story as the manga it's adapting

[pyreflydust]

Thinking again about how much happier people would be if they would accept that adaptations are adaptations and don't ruin the original and differences in characterization can easily be explained by the fact they're telling a different story and, if you want an in-universe explanation, it's a completely different reality.

#idk maybe reading marvel comics for years adjusted me to 'these are not the exact same characters they're counterparts' #sometimes I'll see people saying things about manga versions of certain anime-original series characterization changes #or I'll see a post about an anime that's very clearly Not The Same Story as the manga it's adapting #and it's fine to prefer one or the other but when it's so obviously Not The Same Story it just feels like you should consider that #it matters more if the character fits the story they're in than if the character is 'better' in one version or another #especially since most 'criticism' I see in these cases is personal taste framed as objective truth

[nkgrimmie]

The different species of sticks

★ when I say classification, I am referring to whether or not a stick has powers. If they have powers, then they're powered. If not, they're unpowered.

first, a few things that apply to all sticks, no matter the species and classification (with exceptions)

They all come in different colors (of the visible spectrum), shapes, and sizes (the sizes near the two ends of the spectrums are very rare though. they're most often seen as myths or creatures in stories)

They all use code. Without code, their bodies would be little more than limp ragdoll husks, not even a mind to inhabit them. To interact with a stick's code is usually either medical or extremely intimate. It's basically their DNA. The code that enables personality is similar to complex AI, but can also hold in specific commands for the stick to follow.

They can pause their animations! (originally that was just a headcanon, but with the EP 34 AVG reaction, it was confirmed)

Their blood is very often neon versions of their main color, with the exception of black and white cause... y'know. Can't really make those neon. For black and white sticks, their blood is often one of their secondary colors then.

They (typically) have unguligrade legs! The proportions depend on the species though. The legs of websticks are typically more like "technically unguligrade but proportionally more similar to plantigrade", while the legs of usersticks and most ursticks follow more of a traditional "anthro unguligrade" shape.

They don't have primary sex characteristics, and gender is either assigned or chosen, or neither. Most sticks (other than some ursticks and all usersticks) can still reproduce fine though, as long as the parents have the same coding language. If parents of different coding languages try to conceive, it won't happen. It just won't.

chompers!! unless specified otherwise, they have sharp teeth :3.

and now, getting into the actual meat of the post.

Websticks

The most common type, these guys are just your average sticks. Well, not actually average, they can have powers and stuff. Websticks are just sticks that were born or created by other stick figures on the web. Most are born, though. The only real way you can tell if a stick is a webstick or not is if their code shows a creator or not. If there's no creator mentioned or if the creator listed is another stick, then they're a webstick.

One of their most notable traits is their poor movement and color-based eyesight. If you blend in with the surroundings and you're completely still, there's a good chance a webstick just wouldn't see you.

Their hooves are defined and cloven, you can clearly tell that there is a line between skin/fuzz and hard... stuff. They're rarely powered, unless the parents/creator specifically planned for them to have powers. The reason behind that is because not only are some powers recessive, but also since most powered sticks are ursticks, a lot just aren't able to reproduce, ending in fewer powered websticks than to be expected. Powered websticks still very much so exist though! They're just often a lot weaker than powered ursticks.

Ursticks

The most diverse type, you never really know what to expect with these. The name is actually somewhat deceiving, as it applies to both the first sticks and also sticks drawn by humans. They share the name because the first sticks were also drawn by humans, and some sticks are... still drawn by humans to this day. The original ursticks have all died by now, but that doesn't mean that they didn't leave a mark. They're the reason websticks exist, after all. The pioneer species.

Modern ursticks (the only ones I'll be talking about) are characterized by their better than average vision, their dull and undefined hooves, their quiet footfalls, and... their code saying they were made by a human? (Wow really?) They're just so diverse that there's not really much of a way to tell. Plus, so many of them don't even have powers, so they're functionally no different from websticks other than having been drawn instead of born or created.

They're naturally better at doing computer stuff than websticks are, since they live more often on a desktop or a screen than in the Outernet. Sometimes they're powered, sometimes they're not, it just depends on what their creator had in mind for them.

Usersticks

The most otherworldly type, these shouldn't even be able to exist at all. Basically what stick!Alan and stick!DJ are (if I even use stick!DJ, that is). They're often characterized by their height, their long and thin spade-tipped (more so cursor-tipped) tails, their better than average eyesight (they have the same eyesight they did when they were human), and their code also for some reason saying that they were made by a human. They can have markings (typically black or white but can be different colors), but it's kind of rare. Surprisingly, they do have code that seems intelligible, but there's an odd amount of code that makes completely no sense. It doesn't get in the way of their bodies functioning somehow, it's just there. A remnant of what they once were, both metamorphic and evolutionary, perhaps?

They share the same hoof type as ursticks, but their legs are often longer due to their exaggerated height. They're also always powered, but they often don't know how to use them and sometimes don't even realize they have them.

A lot of sticks view them as gods far beyond taking a mortal form, others view them as abominations, horrific unions of god and stick possessed by the eldritch creature that fathered them, or just as really weird sticks. Some don't even think they actually exist.

They're an incredibly rare phenomenon, and only can form upon specific circumstances. Such as passing out on a VR headset while your computer just so happens to be inhabited by a stick that's kind of part of you. Oh boy.

--

also, here's a visual! Colors are random (don't mind the lack of arms haha)

*This is the most common appearance of websticks in Stickcity. They can look very different, the main thing that remains uniform in appearance is the legs.

**This is just one example of the appearance of an urstick, due to them being so diverse. Like the shown webstick, the main uniform body part are the legs.

just a few more things I'd like to mention;

there's two main languages, sticksign and stickspeech (im still working on the name for the second one). most sticks know both

Stick figure bodies are similar to virtual machines, allowing them to get viruses and the such without immediately infecting any devices they may be on.

Color gang and the hollowheads are all ursticks. (did i even need to say the hollowheads were?)

Purple, MT, Gold, Navy, and Orchid are all websticks.

Usersticks are vaguely cat-like, while websticks and ursticks are a mix between cat-like and goat-like.

Usersticks don't usually remember what happens between the transition from human to stick, but when they do remember, they don't like it.

--

okay that's all! thank you for reading ^^ i put a lot of work into this

#stick doesn't look like a real word anymore #help #stick!alan #stick alan #(i tagged him because i talked about his specific species) #ava #animator vs animation #alan becker #my stuff

[loislane41319]

Fear.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Wordcount: 3094

Summary: The first time Dean sees you scared.

Warnings: Typical Supernatural stuff. Vampires, beheading vampires, death, deep feelings of guilt, loss of loved ones.

Note: I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. All three of my best friends recently moved away and I've been going to therapy for, among other things, ADHD.

Last week I had my last therapie session and, while I wrote this a few weeks ago, today I finally finished editing it!

Thank you so much for waiting for me and I really hope you'll enjoy this.

For those who'd like something less violent I am working on a dad!Spencer Reid story. I don't know when I'll post that though.

Story:

Fear is a funny thing. It can just appear out of nowhere or it can sneak up on you, like some virus that you’re not aware of until after it’s caused an infection. Fear is a feeling, but unlike happiness or anger it always comes with a bodily reaction. Depending on the situation and the person, the body can react to fear in different ways. For instance, when you come eye to eye with a tiger, you might feel your chest start to tighten. This means your muscles are getting ready to take action, possibly in the form of fighting or in the form of running away. Others might start to sweat excessively, so that their bodies will stay cool while running and then there’s the kind of person who will drop to the ground and play dead. Now, when encountering a tiger the latter method is useless, because tigers will sneak up on you and attack from behind. However when you encounter a female bear protecting her cubs, pretending to be dead is exactly the way to go.

Now, these reactions stem from a long time ago when humans regularly came in contact with wild animals, because we lived amongst them and they were a source of food. Nowadays however, we might react to having a job interview or giving a presentation in the same way our ancestors would while encountering a sabre-toothed tiger. That is, unless your job is to hunt ghosts, demons or other supernatural beings.

Of course, these hunters are humans so they know fear. Probably even better than normal folk. The thing about hunters is that, while they are afraid, they don’t show it. They can’t, otherwise whatever creature they’re hunting will gain the upper hand. So, while learning what monsters are out there and how to beat them, a hunter will learn how to handle their fear. They’ll learn to keep their breathing under control, so they won’t start hyperventilating and panic, but they’ll be able to keep thinking clearly. They learn to think on their feet, so that, even when a creature does gain the upper hand, they can turn the tables just as fast. And most of all, they learn that being scared is okay, because their own fear won’t kill them, but whatever creature they’re facing might.

You are one of those hunters. You’ve been hunting for almost two decades and you’re good at it. You were also a mystery. You had some impressive kills to your name and so other hunters starting talking about you, but no one actually knew you. Rumours were spread and you were made out to be some kind of superhuman. Eventually, the word most used to describe you, was fearless.

The rumours eventually also reached the Winchesters. Dean was not only impressed, but intrigued by the stories he heard and his desire to meet you kept growing the more he heard about you. Sam however, had his doubts about the rumours floating around and would rather focus on facts.

Dean was granted his wish though. Four months ago you met the brothers while working the same case. You got along well and after working together and solving the case you worked together more and more.

While drinking a beer on the hood of his car, you even opened up to Dean about losing your mother as a child and since he went through something similar, you two became very close. Bit by bit you pulled away the veil that you had draped over your past. You shared stories about your family , your pain, but not your fear. Never your fear. To you, fear was something you couldn’t allow yourself to feel. Instead of learning to deal with it, you had taught yourself to bury it, deep down inside of you where no one, not even you, could get to it. And it worked. You killed vampires, ghosts, werewolves and demons all on your own. It didn’t even matter how many there were, you would always get the job done. Until one fateful night.

You and the Winchesters were working a case that involved multiple bodies, found with bite marks and without blood. The culprit was a vampire. That you knew almost instantly. What you didn’t know however, was how many there were or where they were held up. After the third victim was found, you realised all the bodies were left around an old abandoned factory and you decided to investigate.

Ever since you entered the town though, the hairs on the back of your neck had stood up straight. Why? You didn’t know. You just felt like something was off, but since you had no idea what, you shrugged it off and focused on the job you had to do.

The second you found yourself at the factory though, your heart started banging in your chest, harder than it ever had. But, as always, you shoved the feeling down and kept going. There were three buildings in the area and you decided to clear them together, one by one. The first building was empty. When you thought you had cleared the second building, suddenly you were pushed to the ground. You managed to catch yourself, but as your hands hit the ground, an image flashed through your brain. You saw your hands on the exact same floor except everything was covered in blood. What was going on? Within a second you were back to reality, without any idea what had just happened. Your skin was now clammy, your breathing heavy and you were sweating profusely. “Y/N, you okay?” You heard Dean ask. You got up and after turning around you noticed a beheaded body and blood dripping off of Sam’s machete. It was a vampire that had pushed you down. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get to the last building.” You answered and all three of you kept going.

You walked over to the third building and stood next to Dean as Sam opened the door. Before entering, you swallowed hard, trying to calm yourself down. For a split second, you wondered if you should let Sam and Dean handle this building without you, but you immediately threw that thought out of the window. How could you even think about leaving your friends just when things got difficult?

The second you entered the factory hall, you felt like you had walked into a wall. You staggered backwards, slamming your back into the wall behind you as your brain was flooded with images of this very hall covered in blood and remains. Suddenly you heard your brother. He was screaming, vampires were growling and suddenly you were on the ground and the blood was gone. The next second you could see Sam and Dean fighting some vamps, but you couldn’t tell what was real anymore. You saw a vampire coming straight at you, but you weren’t sure if it was really there, so you had no idea what to do. You pressed yourself against the wall, pulling your knees against your chest. In an attempt to make everything stop, you covered your ears and closed your eyes, hiding your face between your knees.

As the last vampire’s head hit the floor, Dean started looking for you and Sam. He found his brother first, standing over another dead vampire a few feet away. “You okay?” Sam asked. “Yeah” Dean answered and he was about to ask where you were when he heard you whimpering. “No, no, no. Go away, leave me alone.” You mumbled. For a second Dean wasn’t sure if you were actually you. You were hyperventilating, tears were streaming down your face and you looked so small Dean could barely recognise the strong, powerful woman he had gotten to know in the last few months. Both brothers ran toward you and knelt down next to you. “Hey, Y/N? It’s Dean. It’s safe now. Nothing’s gonna hurt you. Can you open your eyes for me?” Dean softly asked. Somehow, through all the screaming and the blood and the violence in your head Dean’s voice was crystal clear. Like a light in the darkest night you tried your best to focus on his voice and you let him guide you back to reality. “Dean?” You managed to get out through sort breaths. “Yeah, Y/N, it’s me. It’s okay. Try to breathe.” He told you. You slowly looked up at him and while everything outside of you was calm and quiet, your body was still a complete chaos on the inside. “I-I can’t.” You told Dean as your right hand found your heart. “Yes you can. Here.” Dean said. He took your hand from your heart and placed it over his own. “Try to match my breathing. You can do this, I know you can.” He told you and you tried your best, but your erratic breathing didn’t change. Dean looked at his brother, wordlessly asking him for help. Sam held his hands up, wordlessly telling his brother he didn’t know how. Dean looked back to you. His heart broke seeing you like this and it hurt so much more because he couldn’t help you. He racked his brain, trying to think of anything that might help you. 

Suddenly, an idea popped into this head. It may have been the most ridiculous, dumb idea he ever had, but he had to help you and there was nothing else he could think of. Still holding your hand over his heart, Dean laid his other hand in your neck and pressed his lips against yours. 

In the last for months Dean had loved getting to know you. He deeply enjoyed hanging out with you and felt honoured every time you told him something about yourself you hadn’t told anyone else. He had wanted to ask you out for two months now, but had never found the courage to do that. About a week ago you were working on another case. You had found changelings and after killing the mother, one of the human kids didn’t want to leave their cage. It was a little, four-year-old girl and Dean couldn’t help but stare at you as you talked to her. “I know you’re scared and your mommy isn’t here right now, but I can take you to her.” You told her. “But there are scary people out there.” The little girl whispered. “I know, but I will be with you the whole way, so I can protect you, okay?” You asked her. “Even from him?” She whispered back, pointing at Dean. A small smile appeared on your face. “I know he seems scary, but that’s my friend Dean. He won’t hurt you, I promise.” You told her and as you took the girl into your arms, Dean realised he didn’t just like you. He was falling in love with you.

As he let you go, you could finally take a deep breath in. You took a few moments to steady your breathing and then you noticed the two faces staring questioningly at you. “Y/N, what happened?” Sam asked you. “Not here. I gotta get out of here first.” You told the brothers, shaking your head. They nodded and the three of you got up and left.

About an hour later, you were back at the motel. You and Dean had both taken showers and Sammy had gotten the dinner you were now enjoying. You made smalltalk for a few minutes, until Sam decided to address the elephant in the room. “Y/N, can you please tell us what happened? I mean, in the months that we’ve known you we’ve seen you kill all kinds of creatures, including vampires, without braking a sweat and tonight you had a full blown panic attack. Do you even know what caused it?” He asked. You softly sighed and nodded, knowing you could get around it any longer. “I grew up in a family of hunters. As you know, my mom died when I was little and so my dad and my brother started hunting together, leaving me at whatever seedy motel room we were staying in. One day, when I was fifteen, I decided I was old enough to join them. They didn’t agree, so I figured I’d prove it to them. They were after a vampire and I had overheard them talking about where they thought it would be that night. A few hours later, I snuck out and went there. The vampire was held up somewhere in an old factory. Three buildings and lots of ground to cover.”

“The place we were tonight.” Sam filled in. You nodded. “Yeah. I noticed the lights were on in the third building, so I went in. I found my dad and brother inside and it turned out there wasn’t just one vampire. There were five of them. The moment one of them noticed me, I screamed. It ran straight at me, but my brother managed to kill it in time. 

My dad however, had gotten distracted by my scream, giving another vamp enough time to stab him. My brother yelled at me to run, but there were still three vamps left. I did what he told me and waited for him outside, but he never came out. He was barely eighteen. He saved my life twice in one night and had to make up for it with his own.” You felt a tear slide down your face and fell quiet. “And all of that happened in the building we were in tonight?” Sam asked. You nodded. “I always felt like their deaths were my fault, because if I hadn’t screamed, they’d still be here. So I decided I couldn’t be scared anymore.” You admitted. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Sam told you. Dean took your hand, causing you look at him. “I’m so sorry about that, Y/N, but their deaths aren’t your fault, they’re the vamps fault and it’s okay to be scared. Everyone gets scared sometimes, you just can’t let that stop you.” He told you sincerely. “I mean, you’re sitting next to a guy who shits his pants every time the Plucky Pennywhistle’s commercial plays.” Dean added grinning. “Haha. Here’s an idea. Take Dean on a flight. He’ll scream like a little girl the whole way.” Sam bit back, got up and disappeared into the bathroom. 

The silence that followed was heavy. Dean cleared his throat and started gathering the fast-food wrappers that were all over the table. As he got up to throw them away, you decided you had to get something off of your chest. “Dean, how did you know kissing me would help me breathe?” You asked as you turned to him. He just shrugged. “Read it somewhere, I think.” He mumbled. “So, it was just that? Just a way to get me to take deeper breaths?” You asked, getting up and walking towards him. “Yeah, I was just trying to-“ You turned him towards you and softly pressed your lips against his, effectively cutting him off. He kissed you back, dropping the towel he was holding in the sink and wrapping his arm around your waist. One of your hands found its way into his hair, while the other intertwined both of your fingers. Then you pulled back. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to, I’d-“ You tried to walk away, but had somehow forgotten you were still holding Deans hand. “Not so fast. I have something to admit. I didn’t just kiss you to stop you from panicking. I didn’t know what to do and I wanted to kiss you before it was too late.” Dean said while walking closer to you. “Really?” You asked him. “Yeah. I’ve wanted to ask you out for months, but I was so scared of losing you that I kept chickening out. So, this is me, not letting my fear stop me. Y/N, will you go out with me? Because I think I’m falling for you.” You were so close, your foreheads and noses touched and you could feel Dean’s breath against your lips as he talked. You pressed another kiss to his lips and a smile appeared on his face. “Yes, I’ll go on a date with you. And Dean? I fell for you four months ago.” You told him. Dean kissed you again and then you finally let go of his hand. “We should get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” You told him, trying not to laugh at the pout on his face.

The moment the door closed behind you, you felt cold. Part of you wanted to get back inside and stay with Dean until the morning and another part you was yelling at you because it’s just one night. You could be without him for that long, couldn’t you? So, you went to your own room and got ready for bed. Once in bed, though, you couldn’t sleep. You kept tossing and turning and for whatever reason you were freezing. After a few minutes, you decided enough was enough. You got out of bed and made your way back to Sam and Deans room. The light was still on and Sam was still in the shower. Dean was in bed flipping though channels. His hand disappeared under his pillow when the door opened, until he noticed it was you. “Hey, what’s up?” He asked and turned off the tv. “Hey, can I sleep here tonight?” You asked softly. Then you saw the most adorable thing you had seen in a while. Deans eyes started shining and his lips turned into the sweetest smile. “Come here.” He said. He held up a corner of the blanket and moved back as you crawled into bed next to him. The first moments were a little awkward as Dean was laying with his back toward the edge of the bed and you laid with your back towards him. He loosely laid an arm around your waist and waited to see how you’d react. You took his hand, intertwined your fingers and pulled it against your heart. Then you softly kissed Dean’s knuckles and the awkwardness melted away. Dean wrapped his other arm around you too and pulled you against his chest. “Goodnight, handsome.” You whispered. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” Dean whispered back and pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder. Not two minutes later you were both fast asleep when Sam came out of the bathroom. He immediately noticed you in his brothers bed and couldn’t help but smile. Finally.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader #vampire #fearless #guilt #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #friends to lovers #rumors

[bcbdrums]

Given the fact that we were talking about our perceptions of certain kinds of ships in regards to Stein and how they suit or do not suit his character, how do you feel about smut/the relationship dynamics within Stein x character smut fics?

All righty then...! Here comes a very long rambling of my headcanons about Stein, his two primary relationships, and his relationship with those deeper intimacies. This takes some turns before it gets to the main point but well, I love talking about this man. Extremely long post under the cut.

Also - there are two blogs I tag at the very end of this post - you two feel free to ignore all my ramblings, just know I praise you both at the end and I still re-read your Soul Eater stories VERY regularly.

I'm truthfully still trying to reorganize my thoughts on this specific topic because 1) I have listened to many a headcanon from others on the subject and I always try to give validity to their thoughts even when they differ from mine, and 2) I've also read tons of smut fic with Stein out of sheer desperation for...well, Stein fic. (Come on Stein fandom where you at? Write me some gen fic too, lol)

I have not read too many fics of him with Marie cuz those always contain manga spoilers so I'm skipping those for now until I finish reading (exactly halfway through!). So what I've read is mostly Stein/Spirit smuts and just a couple with Marie, and I want to say….almost zero?? I think zero of those fics (and boy I've read plenty) have "hit the spot" in terms of what I would want for a Stein smut. They're good stories, in some cases great stories, well-written and thoughtfully conceived, but they're not fitting my headcanons and interpretations of who I see onscreen (and who I see in the manga so far).

All that said now… Some of my own relevant headcanons for him, and then I'll get more into fic of others.

I go back and forth toying with the idea that Stein experimented with intimacy just a little as a teen. He's not immune to puberty and hormones; he's human whether he likes it or not, which isn't to say mind over matter doesn't work for him. (Clearly it does, in staving off madness among other things.) But he's a scientist. He's curious. And I can see him justifying an experiment or two in his teen years. But they would in fact be just that, experiments. It's still a big maybe. I can't say for certain he would, it's the sort of thing like…if all the dots line up just right, he'd attempt it. If not, he wouldn't. And it would only be with those two people: Marie and/or Spirit. He doesn't trust anyone else enough. (Yes, I'm on board with the popular fanon that Marie was one of his other weapon partners after Spirit.)

Another teen headcanon... I can also easily see a sort of angsty distraction possibility for him. When he loses Spirit to Kami, I can see him getting into a "romantic" relationship with Marie as sheer distraction, and even misguided retaliation. Spirit "cheated" on him with another meister and abandoned him, so why shouldn't he do the same with another weapon? Which sucks for Marie but well she's not healthy about relationships any more than Stein or Spirit are. But this is just another sort of maybe-thought; another situation where all the dots would have to line up just right for him to go for it. But I can see it, no question, just like the prior thought.

As for Stein as an adult, at the point we see him in the show… While I think relationally he and Spirit have the most interesting dynamic to explore, the one he shows more openness toward is Marie. It's clear that he cares for her. And he doesn't fully understand that either. Now I don't think he wants to get into bed with her, or marry her, or anything traditional to a romance. But I also don't think Marie is going anywhere. Thinking post-anime now…. Unless he gives her a sign that there is nothing between them, I think she's staying put. But sadly for her, I think there is something between them... Sadly because, Stein doesn't know what it is, and it's not "love" the way that Marie wants it. It's just something he's unfamiliar with. Meanwhile she's devoted to him, poor woman.

Now, end of the anime… Let's talk about this…. Marie helps him back to sanity with her healing wavelength. But…then he's just "okay"? No he isn't. Look at that man. His dark circles are darker, his eyes are more haunted. That man has been living off madness and cigarettes for weeks. When is the last time he ate anything? Showered? Legitimately got any sleep?? How he's even standing up let alone fighting Medusa is beyond me, and then he performs freaking major surgery and then waltzes into the death room afterward like he's fine. Because...that's who Stein is.

Stein will fight until he is incapable of fighting anymore, to serve those he loves. Yes I said loves. And it is agonizing how much he strives to show his love for others, and it's something he doesn't even realize he has within him. He thinks he can't understand love? It's because he feels it so deeply and passionately it's beyond definition. Part of this however I'm also certain is motivated from his deep desire for purpose as an adult. The manga shows that aspect of his character even more-so than the anime (in what I've read so far). That man is desperate for purpose and to belong somewhere, with someone. He can't escape his human nature even if he doesn't understand it, can't define it, and even though it drives him crazy all on its own…

So bringing this back to Marie… End of the anime. I don't think Marie is leaving. She's gonna stay, help nurse Stein back to health and sanity despite his pretending he's fine (or perhaps even sheer ignorance of his condition), and Stein…is gonna be confused the whole dang time about his feelings for Marie. He knows he feels something but he has no idea what it is or how to process it. But "love" in the romantic sense he doesn't possibly consider, because well...his conceptions of that sort of thing aren't based in anything healthy (see: Spirit's relationships).

So yeah… She's not leaving. He won't reject her attentions because he does care about her, just not in a way he understands and also not in the way she wants. And as she starts to realize that he has some kind of feeling for her, I think she'd turn up the romance and she'd make a move on him. OR…she'd play the extremely...long...patient game, and wait for him to make a move on her, when it's within his comfort zone. And let me be clear… This man still does not know what love is in this traditional sense, does not understand love. He knows what physical attraction and hormones are and darn him he can't shake those either, but as an adult he wouldn't act impulsively on them nor would he confuse them with love. Stein is the ultimate master of mind over matter. If he were to sleep with her, it would be a choice; a decision he makes consciously and deliberately. I see this within the realms of possibility. But if he chooses it himself, if he's the one who makes that decision simply out of his wanting to…it would be a long, long time that that woman is waiting for him. But I do think it possible. The question is simply, how long will she wait. And she's also the type to try to stir things up (see: her behavior toward Joe in the manga). So who knows when they may end up in bed together... These dots are more complicated to align than those of his teenage years. And if Marie made the move first...I think he'd accept it. Because, see again, his wanting to belong with someone, and he knows he feels something different with Marie.

As for Spirit, well... Stein sees that Spirit likes women. And Stein sees that Spirit can't commit. I think Stein "loves" Spirit more than he loves Marie. First love, young love... Spirit is the relationship of his life, even though that's yet another thing he cannot possibly understand. I think that while part of him, the mad obsessive part, and the curious part, does want to be close to Spirit in the intimate way…it's not out of a healthy desire or even typical motivations. It would come from a desire to possess, from his deeply human but inexplicable yearning to be closer to the one he loves even though it's not the right type of love for that type of intimacy. Not really sure Spirit would be all-in if Stein were to make the move... I think Spirit would take persuading. It's another circumstance where all the dots have to line up just right, and in this case probably more while caught up in madness than in sanity. Because as previously mentioned… In his right mind, Stein knows that Spirit likes women and more importantly that Spirit cannot commit. And he's ironically smart enough to know not to attempt a traditional human romance with someone who cannot commit. I don't think Stein would himself attempt intimacy with Spirit in his right mind at all, unless something happened to make him utterly desperate not to lose the man... Another instance of, all those dots have to connect.

But ugh, the angst. Spirit abandoned him after five years... Stein is not going to willingly subject himself to possible heartbreak again. Plus, he does not think Spirit has forgiven him for the "experiments." I think he thinks Spirit only hangs around him now as an adult as his handler, despite desperately wanting his friendship again. But I think he figures it's a lost cause so he just takes what is offered and never pursues more.

Okay but before I digress further into my endless thoughts about Stein's and Spirit's relationship (I'll do another post for that maybe), back to the point of your question.

I am really not one for labels, partially because I don't understand them but also because I think the spectrum is just so deep and too much defies definition. But if I were to label him, I guess I'd go with...gray ace with demi leanings…?

The man is driven only by curiosity, about anything and everything. But the level of intimacy we're talking about is more than he ever wants to trust anyone with. It's always gotta be on his terms, and more often than not…his terms would be unhealthy.

So let's talk about what shows up in fanfic, since that was what the original question was about. And once again, I like to lend validity to everyone's interpretation. Just because it isn't mine doesn't mean it's wrong or shouldn't exist. But you did ask about MY thoughts, so that's what I'm sharing here.

Once again, I've barely touched Stein/Marie fic because I'm avoiding manga spoilers. In the one or two I've seen, he comes across as not connecting emotionally in the typical way, but knowing that there is indeed something different about being with her. He knows she cares about him, and he cares in return. But it doesn't come across as anything intimate on his side of it. This isn't a characterization I particularly like, because Stein as an adult... As I said, I think he'd choose that intimacy if and when he wants it. In the stories, it comes across more as him just doing her a favor, just going along. It doesn't sit right. But like I said, that's only two stories. For other Stein/Marie, I reserve opinion for later.

Stein/Spirit... Okay. I've noticed a great many commonalities in the fics I've read. And this isn't a taste or preference thing; like I said I have devoured almost every smut fic just in desperation for any fanfic of them. Would prefer more gen fic less smut personally, but anyway.

Most fics have Stein in the dominant role, Spirit in the submissive role. I understand that interpretation but it's not how I see them. I see them as equals if they were to get into that type of intimacy. There is often a lot of bloodplay, frequently madness on Stein's part, major instances of non-con, pet play, BDSM, sometimes light cannibalism... It all suggests an impersonal and unhealthy relationship most of the time, which again...is not at all how I see them if they were to become a couple. Could such things come about? Unhealthily, possibly. But darn me and my desire for happy endings.

These two men are so broken, that if they were to become a healthy couple...I feel like it would be slow, cautious...extremely hesitant. There is extreme distrust on both sides, and also misconceptions about how the other feels. Which...I will save that analysis for later. Focusing back on smut fic.

I have seen only a few that touch on the give and take in a trusting relationship (all by the same author) that come closest to what I feel is accurate to the characters onscreen as I see them, but still the emphasis is too much on lust. It still isn't hitting the spot for me due to a lack of that relational development... Make no mistake, the stories are great, but I personally am hoping for something much deeper.

In my view, Stein just does not seek out physical intimacy in that way. I don't think he can fully escape the innate human need for touch, but in terms of a drive to get into bed with anyone... I think the occasional human desire for it crops up, and he easily ignores it/packs it away because it's not useful to him. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't think about it.

So this is where that...gray-ace, demi vibe comes into play for my view of him. Talking about Stein here as an adult and in control of himself, not consumed by madness... This is I supposed a bit of a summation of my thoughts.

If he did get into a relationship with anyone (and again I think his only choices are Spirit and Marie), it would not be based on the physical at all. I also don't think he would rush into any relationship. It would be a long process before he trusted the person enough to consider them a romantic partner. And really, we could get away from the word romance entirely... Life-partner is a better word, in Stein's case. If the person wanted physical intimacies, I think he would be responsive to that. The other person would be in the lead, but in no way dominating. It would have to be an equal trust thing or else Stein would nope out hard. Stein would gradually learn what it is he likes physically, and how to give his partner what they want. He can come to enjoy it because this is his life-partner, the one he belongs with, the one who needs him and is part of his purpose. But again...the physical is not something that drives him at all. Not in how I see him portrayed onscreen or in the manga.

So, overall, in my point of view nearly all smut fics miss the mark. Now...the stories I've seen where I think the physical intimacy is nailed don't even get to smut. Those are the stories by @asymmetryestablished (AO3 NothingSoDivine) and their characterizations of Stein and Spirit defy description in any words I have. The other author who nails it is @wispforever (same on AO3) and the closest to physical intimacy they get is dancing, but my gosh still the characterizations are utter perfection. I will be re-reading y'all's Stein/Spirit stories forever.

I hope I did in fact answer your question, but overall, I was delighted to just spill out so many of my thoughts about Stein even if in summary form. Yes this was a summary... Okay. I'm done. Thanks.

#soul eater #franken stein #spirit albarn #marie mjolnir #stein #spirit #death scythe #crossstitch #steinspirit #spiritstein #steinmarie #stein x marie #stein x spirit #spirit x stein #headcanons #ask answer

[adarkrainbow]

So, recently @drachenwiki has done a very nice reblog of one of my posts (thank you!) and evoked something very interesting. I didn't want to just answer in a simple reblog, so I'll make a new post about it. Here is what drachen said:

I noticed an interesting connection here. In Greek fairy tales, there is a character that’s pretty similar to the ogre, but is called Drakos (Δράκος). The name is obviously derived from Drakon (δράκων), which means serpent and is the origin of the word “dragon”, but the Drakos is a supernatural humanoid, like the ogre sometimes fully human-looking, sometimes with monstrous traits, but almost never with the serpentine traits that define dragons.

I unfortunately do not have enough knowledge about Greek fairytales as a whole to be able to fully answer or react o the character of Drakos - even though I can say, as someone who studied ogre, that there is a very obvious general connection and "family link" between ogres and dragons, the same way there is one between ogres and giants. Ogres and dragons, are the two sides of the "devouring fairytale villain", whose main threat is eating the character ; both of them dwell in usually hostile landscapes such as deep forests or grottos ; and both of them are usually said to have great riches and treasures.

But what I originally wanted to say is this. I don't know if you had heard of it, but in French folklore there is a character that sound very similar to the Greek Drakos, and seems to be very clearly some sort of cousin. He is frequently found in French folktales and oral fairytales collected in various regions of France - and in fact he is one of the most prominent and well-known monster of French legends. It is the Drac.

Long story short...

The Drac is a folkloric being of Southern France. It is a water-dwelling entity that is most commonly said to inhabit rivers and lakes, sometimes streams and wells - some folktales even make him sea-dwelling, though most of the time he is a being of fresh water. There were several dracs around France corresponding to the various important bodies of water - though folktales like to always refer to "THE" Drac.

The Drac obviously comes from the same etymological and cultural roots as the dragon. "Drac" comes from the Latin "draco/draconis", itself from the Greek "drakon" and it is all the same family as "drakkar" for example. If it wasn't enough of proof we have in the Occitan language words such as "dracmarin" for "sea dragon" (marin meaning "of the sea" in modern French). As a result, the Drac is considered to be a reptilian being... But the exact nature of the Drac is unclear.

You see, sometimes the drac is described as a dragon-like entity dwelling at the bottom of the lake or sea (a winged, enormous lizard-being) ; or as a giant water-snake. But that's only sometimes because one of the main features of the Drac is that it owns a power of shapeshifting, meaning one can never be sure of what shape the Drac will appear as. Most often, the drac takes the shape of a beautiful young man (to lure his victims or better wander among humans, as we'll see later), but there are many tales and legends claiming the drac can turn into various animals (black donkey, red she-horse, bunnies, lambs...) or even into objects (like a log, or a basket). Given the two shapes of "reptilian being" and "beautiful human" are the most famous and widespread, it often results in depictions of the drac as a scale-covered humanoid or as a dragon with the head of a beautiful boy.

The other main trait of the drac is that he is known to keep luring and dragging humans under water, off into his under-river or under-lake lair. But the how and the why of it all keeps changing depending on the regions and time. It is most agree that the Drac targets, out of all humans, women - especially pretty young girls (making him more similar to the traditional "dragon haunting damsels"). Washer-woman were heavily warned about the drac, and were depicted as his easiest victims due to being women spending so much time by the water-shore. Sometimes the drac uses his face of a handsome young man, or his beautiful singing voice, to attract his victims (some regions even call him a "male mermaid"); other times, the drac is known to let float at the surface of water gold coins, jewels, mirrors and other precious items. All in all - you are lured into the water, and once far away enough, the drac snatches you and takes you underwater.

Here's however where your fate changes depending on which "aspect" of the Drac you face.

In popular beliefs and superstitions, the drac is a water bogeyman in the same way as Jenny Greenteeth and the other water-hags of England. As such, he is depicted as a man-eater who lures humans to drown them and devour them. (Sometimes he doesn't even eat them, and he is just a demonic and evil being who drowns them for pure fun).

In folktales however the Drac can become more alike to the traditional "capture-maidens dragon", or to the general archetype of the monstrous husband. There is a very famous Gascogne fairytale (precisely the one that, to my knowledge, is the only depicting the drac as sea-dwelling rather than fresh-water-dwelling) that paints him as some sort of elemental spirit, a "king of water" that commands the winds and the storms - he steals away a maiden with which he fell in love to force her to become his bride, but she refuses. He still keeps her trapped in his beautiful underwater palace and gardens - and only allows her to walk for a limited time at the top of the waves and the surface of the waters, with a golden chain tied to her ankle. A hero has to break the chain and gets her to shore as fast as possible - because the drac has no power on land.

The most famous incarnation of the drac however is the drac of the Rhônes, illustrated in stories such as the legend of the drac de Beaucaire. This drac is much more akin to the fair-folk and "good neighbors" of the British Isles - as in, in various stories and tales he is described as stealing away a nurse from the human world so she can take care of his babies and breast-feed his children for seven years. Once she had done her work, the drac allows her to return to the human world above the waters - but something happened. The nurse got one eye "enchanted" so that not only does she see clearly in the water, she also can see the Drac's true appearance even under his human disguises. For some she mistakenly got some of the fat of one of the "snake-cakes" of the Drac into her eyes ; for others, the Drac offered her a box of enchanted human fat (because the dracs are still man-eaters in these tales) that would give strength and health to her baby, with the clear instruction to always wash her hands after using it - and she gets it in her eye... Anyway, all in all she ends up spotting the drac in the middle of her town or village, and she politely salutes him with his real identity. The drac, surprised at having been recognized under his disguise, asks her with which eye she saw him. She tells him, and the drac promptly gouges out the enchanted eye.

And these are just the main aspects and appearances of the drac based on his main "underwater magical being" persona. But you see, the "drac" is actually a bit like the "bogeyman" as in, you have an iconic name, some key traits, but everybody has a different version of it. Same thing for the drac - antagonist sea-prince of fairytales, child-eating water-bogeyman, aquatic "good neighbor" and fair folk... But in some regions the name "drac" will be use for werewolves! Everything in these stories clearly describe a werewolf, except the name. But this seems to be because as France was Christianized there was an habit of making the drac of demon - which is why many tales describe this being as a "water demon", as a "bird-hating demon", as "the son of the devil"... And in the Pyrénées, the drac even got an alternate identity fusing himself with another famous folklore archetype. The magical-but-deadly-horse ; the devil's donkey that snatches children. This creature exists in other regions of France as its own thing, its own being, but in the Pyrénées sometimes it gets fused with the drac into one being. A magical donkey or enchanted horse - sometimes white, sometimes red - that will invite tired travellers or innocent children on its back. It can extend its back to carry as many children as it needs ; or it can enlarge its body to fit the weight and girth of any rider ; but once you are on the beast's back, it will take you on a wild and terrifying ride that will end in a body of water where you will drown.

Usually this identity as the "magical horse" or "magical donkey" is thought to be just one of the various "tricks" of the drac - tricks and "pranks" typical of fair folk and other supernatural beings of Europe. Remember when I evoked his shapeshifting? The "lamb" part comes from a local legend claiming the drac likes to turn into a cute little lamb, but if you try to carry it in your arms or on your back, it will become heavier and heavier until it crushes you. Other local tales evoke stories of the drac turning into a ball of thread, and allowing a girl to weave a dress out of him - but once she wears the dress in public, the thread will disappear, destroying the dress and leaving the girl naked in front of everybody.

Again this all seems tied again to the "demonization" of the Drac - who was considered to be part of those nasty lutins, demonic imps and other annoying little devils that spent their time harassing everybody with cruel or disgusting pranks. But anyway my main point stays - a humanoid man-eating being with dragon roots, and an obvious dragon name despite ending up not looking like a dragon at all...

#french folklore #french folktales #drac

[nerdylittleguy]

are spidersonas still a thing? yes? cool cool...

Okay, he's not my spidersona per se, he's based on a favourite character from a forgotten 80s show (robin of sherwood, and the character's name is Nasir, if you're interested) but I wanted to make a spiderman based on him since watching atsv, but because of how well Pavitr was designed (culture and representation wise) I wanted to make him also more representative, but had no idea where to start where to even find designs or inspiration. So I wrote down in one of my many diaries that he's Palestinian, and left it at that for months.

And, if you're somehow not yet aware, Palestine has actually been noticed by the west for the past month, though it should have been for more. People should not have to die, civilians should not have to die, hospitals, mosques, churches, schools, bakeries and people should not be targeted by a powerful military, blamed for the conditions of their suffering and resistance under an apartheid state. I'm Polish, fun fact, and when Russia started its invasion of Ukraine we were all crapping ourselves, supporting the Ukrainian fight back against people who had already oppressed them in the past. Of course, every story of oppression is different, but the moral is this: the world supported Ukrainian resistance against oppression, and suddenly when it's in the oh-so dreaded middle east, it's apparently a threat to everyone, and apparently it's completely justifiable to murder innocent civilians, but not justifiable for them to fight back. Ideally, I'd like to say "violence is never the answer, it's not correct to fight fire with fire" but realistically, after 75 years of oppression, of western ignorance, what other options are there? You cannot debate for peace with a government that calls you "children of darkness" or "human animals" or whatever other dehumanising things the Israeli government and military have been saying. Now is the obligatory time I feel I need to clarify, no, I do not support acts of terror (from either side!! Israel deserves as much criticism as Hamas, if not more, seeing as they are a powerful military) and no, I am not antisemitic. I have not been studying World War 2 for almost 4 years as an autistic hobby to be called antisemitic, but also neither to ignore a genocide unfolding before our eyes on social media. My issue is not with Jewish people, who have suffered for years, centuries, especially in Europe, my issue is with the weaponisation of the Holocaust and the misleading Israeli/ Zionist idea that they, the children of the Holocaust, cannot cause the same atrocities. Especially when many, many Jews, also children of Holocaust survivors have spoken out again Israel and its actions towards Palestinians. Trauma is a cycle, one that the state of Israel has clearly not dealt with and is now willing to cause in another population.

So. Autism and activism (another fun fact, I'm a former climate activist who quit due to burn out) combined in my brain to make this artwork. I have a few more drawings of Nasir as spiderman, I'm still mulling over if I want to post them, but if people want to take my design and run with it, redraw it, make it more accurate or interesting (I literally just took the patterns on the keffiyeh and threw them on a spiderman suit, not very creative, or not as much as it could have been) absolutely do so. I would ask for a little credit, but if you feel you make the design entirely your own, it's yours. I'm just some Polish idiot living in the UK, what do I know about accurate middle eastern representation? (Also feel free to use this as pfps and what not, I don't care, I'll be happy with the knowledge I drew it, and if it makes you happy, I've achieved more than I hoped.)

Obviously activism has more to offer than just drawing spiderman, so if you can, write to your MPs or representatives or what have you, share information (I will do my best to share information on tumblr as I have been very inactive on here recently), maybe even attend protests if you can, but first and foremost, stay thinking!! Stay learning and educating yourself as having information keeps you one step ahead of propaganda. If you have the energy to, compare and criticise different news outlets, find yourself some Gazan news sources and journalists (a lot of people have been following Motaz, Bisan and Plestia on Instagram, I don't have that but it's easy to find reposts of their videos on tiktok or twitter) and stay informed!! Boycott those companies suggested by BDS, MacDonalds, Starbucks and Disney as the main ones (or just ignore capitalism all together and shop local!! That's what I've been trying to do, but obviously it's not an option for everyone, it's better to have focused efforts on those big three than smaller, scattered attempts at boycotting). We all have something we can do to help and show out support.

However, from my burnt out activist's perspective I have to highlight that you MUST take time for yourself, your hobbies, your wellbeing. Yes, you are privileged to be able to turn it off, but from my privilege of experience, I tell you that you will burn out and loose your spark. You need to be able to support those who need us (and not just in Palestine, but in the DR of Congo and many other places where crises and genocides are occuring) but you can't do that if you've burnt yourself out. You, your comfort and safety is important, your ability to sustainably fight for these important causes is more valuable than you know. Important causes like these require a lot of energy, but we as activists cannot let ourselves become completely burnt out as there will be no one left to fight. Just pace yourself. Do as much as you are comfortable with. Everyone has different styles of activism, different abilities, and that's the beauty of us. We can do so much if we don't start with too much and end up burnt out.

In conclusion, Free Palestine <3

#free palestine #palestine #spidersona #spiderverse oc #traditional art #Sorry not sorry for being “political” lmao I just want people to not be oppressed and not die #It's so nice to talk about this on tumblr and not censor words like on tiktok oml!! #robin of sherwood nasir

[otakusheep15]

My (possibly controversial) Twisted Wonderland Opinions

I see a lot of these on TikTok and such, so I wanted to make my own. Remember that these are all my own personal opinions, and I do not claim that any of these are canon or factually correct. If you don't agree, that's fine, just remember to be respectful.

Just as a fair warning, most of this is me being pissed off at the fandom for how it treats certain characters/players, so if that might offend you, I'd suggest scrolling past this one.

The fandom as a whole really tends to mischaracterize Kalim and I'm pretty sick of it. He's actually a very intelligent character with a deep, tragic backstory. Kalim is not your "small cinnamon roll" or "precious baby," he is a teenage boy with serious mental issues. The only reason he is so kind and bubbly is because he wants people to like him. If people like him, they have less reason to try and kill him. That is why he tries to be so nice. It is for his own personal safety. It's the same reason as to why he tries to salvage his relationship with Jamil so hard. Yes, he does still care about Jamil, but Kalim is fully aware that Jamil is the most trustworthy person in his life, and without him, Kalim could be put in serious danger. Kalim is a good person, but he is also very selfish, and does things so that people will like him more, and I'm tired of the fandom pretending like he's some innocent cinnamon roll when he's much deeper than that.

The way this fandom treats male/non-binary players is honestly so horrible, especially when Yuuka was first introduced. I have seen countless posts of female players being rude and disrespectful towards non-female players simply because they were hoping for a non-female protagonist in the anime and mangas. It's annoying and disrespectful, and I wish we could all stop fighting and just enjoy the game without the negativity. Not every female player is like this, but I see it enough that it needs to be called out.

I need certain members of this fandom to realize that most of these boys are minors. The majority of the main cast are 16-17, and only a few of the students are 18+. It feels like so many people in this fandom forget how young some of these characters are, and it shows in the way said characters are treated. It feels especially weird when I see people in their 20s and up simping after the first years, who are all 16. I don't really mind people who age them up for things like fanfics, but it's still kind of creepy to see.

Rook has been such a creep in this game since he was introduced, and people still treat it like it's a non-issue. He has such a track record of stalking students, being weird or creepy towards them, and making unnecessary comments. There was even a side story where he body shamed Vil because he put on a little extra weight. This man is not a good man, and more people need to realize that his behaviors are not okay and they are not justified, especially when several other characters have mentioned how freaked out they are because of him.

Many of the characters in this game have severe levels of depression, but the fandom still shits on them despite this. Leona and Idia are two good examples of this. People are constantly hating on Leona because he's rude or lazy, but most of his personality shows clear signs of depression. It's canon that he was neglected for pretty much his whole life, and, after a while, he just gave up on trying since no one cared. This is clearly depression, and yet the fandom treats it like this was all his own choice, which is annoying. Same with Idia: he's very clearly depressed and still struggles with Ortho's death, yet the fandom continues to make fun of him and bully him for it, and it pisses me off. What makes it worse is that the same people idolize other characters like Cater, who also shows signs of depression. They love him and can clearly see his signs just fine, yet they choose to ignore it in other characters.

And that's all I have for now. If I think of any more, I'll either add to this one or make a part two, whichever I feel like in the moment. If you were offended by any of this, I apologize (but you're probably someone who needed to hear this anyways). If you disagree with any of this or want to share your own opinions, feel free to (politely) do so in the comments or tags, and I will gladly read them all. Any rude behavior will be deleted and blocked immediately, so don't try that shit with me.

#twisted wonderland #twst #kalim al asim #yuuka twst #jamil viper #twst first years #rook hunt #cater diamond #idia shroud #leona kingscholar #twst opinions #hot takes

[aesterblaster]

Hi there! Lovely blog 🥲 I came across a post about Rin (and his jaded side), which inspired me to rant a bit myself. I apologise if this lacks distinctness - English is not my native language, I also write on the bus so it must be worse than usual. Lastly, I don't have the alchemy of the verb so I tend to write more mud than gold lol. Anyways, I'd like to say something about Rin's ego (I'm consciously using arguments that I haven't seen yet, so I'll say very little about Rin's material living conditions such as the role of his age, his personality, the social impact of being Sae's brother etc, his “brother complex”...)

Well, mainly I find there are many parallels to be drawn between Nagi's character and Rin's, especially when it comes to their relationship with soccer (incidentally, the discussion they had at the end of the Manshine VS PXG match highlights their common problem; they have no ego). No… in fact I would say that there is a fundamental distinction between Nagi and Rin (absence of ego versus negation of the ego). I'm going to use schopenhauerian elements here (lightly) by integrating them with Kojève's ideas (the most primitive to the development of his thought on history). I don't think this is Kaneshiro’s ambition (but Schopenhauer (SC) drew heavily on Buddhist (anatman) and Hindu philosophy, so why not...) but Rin deals with the suffering of the world (equivalent here to the abandonment of his brother, who initially served as the pivot around which his reality revolved) by sublimating his own interiority (ego); he erases his 'ego' so as to become a footballer (he disappears in his work). For SC, the aim of the work is to develop an intuition that proposes a division of the world (a feeling of strangeness in the face of the notion of existence), which in itself makes it possible to overcome its absurdity (of the world). Moreover, everything Rin enjoys revolves around the question of the place or confirmation of the self within its realm (horror films = quest to feel/ his favorite music evokes the inability to find one's place in the world + Ciguatera (one of his favorite manga) tells the story of a young hopeless man with no goal outside of getting a bike and his new friends who gradually build themselves up in the midst of adolescence). Besides, in the same way that the abandonment of the Self is achieved through sublimation (freudian) in the work, it is also achieved through "charity" for Schopenhauer, and in some respects we could compare this to Rin's attitude before Sae's return (complacency towards his team-mates’s play style but also the stoic behaviour that emerged following Sae's departure).

It's true that, in the past, Rin undertook every action symmetrically to Sae's (theory of mimetic desire, which partly explains his disproportionate reaction to Sae's new purpose), whether through peer pressure or "willpower", although these dynamics can be criticised, they enabled Rin to situate himself in the world (shared existence creates a sense of belonging). He was the brother of the best (“even if my brother is stronger, he is still my brother, he treats me like his brother, we are equal, perhaps equivalent, we share a common humanity”). Except that this repression of the ego comes into conflict with the desire or struggle for recognition after Sae's return when he challenges Rin's perception of their shared humanity. Sae rejects Rin's humanity by telling him that he didn't see any value in him other than his ability as a player (which Sae doesn't recognise at the time). At this point, Sae imbues Rin with the idea that a being IS based on the object of his desire (to be, you have to desire something that surpasses the "need". A position that Sae continues to defend, particularly when he tells Sendo that his quest was primitive, even animal, so much so that it focused on primary needs (reproduction/affection (family), security (good salary/ position in the national team)... during this exchange he clearly establishes himself as the authentic human (free) being compared to a bunch of animals or sub-humans (enslaved)). One’s humanity (unlike animality, low things) is defined by the victory of conquering the desire of another being (the recurring theme of bllk). Whoever achieves this on his own, is in a sense, the master and the vanquished is a slave (master-slave dialectic), and while the master obtains recognition of his humanity from the slave, the master does not recognise the humanity of the slave.

In this way, self-awareness becomes a function of the other's awareness of us, and Rin integrates (even if he fights against it) his inhumanity (animality, even) and his subordinate position in relation to his brother (he’s the slave). Therefore, they are no longer brothers since they no longer recognise each other as equals. As a result, Rin performs a double negation of the ego (more or less voluntary and/or undergone), first through self-denial (for the benefit of others) and then through non-recognition (Sae’s abandonment). In addition, this could explain his jadedness and the disdain that you pointed out in your susdite post, because the value of the recognition I receive is a faction of the value of the recognition I give to others. In other words, the master gets recognition from the slave but it's not adequate because he doesn't recognise the slave, so the slave's recognition is worth almost nothing (as for now Rin doesn't care about soccer or blue lock, the aristos/master in his microcosm is Sae (Isagi only in relation to Sae) and, as in ancient Greece, the aristoi only recognise each other. In this sense, Rin seeks to recognise his own existence in the approval of his master (someone he wants to be equal to) and not in his work (if we're talking materialism, in Marxian thought, work is a means for man to recognise his own existence in the world in a broader sense, Rin really does live in a microcosm, but that can be explained by other factors) using outdated or even archaic means (for the venerative connotation of the term). It's funny that it's during the u20 match that he thinks it's imperative for him to make his mark on history. Even if I doubt Kaneshiro's qualities in this area, I'm still looking forward to seeing Rin's evolution in the quest for his true "ego" or "personal identity"now that he's started it, and he's wondering (I don't believe in these things but it could be interesting).

That said, I apologise for the length (I did try my best to keep it short), grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and inconsistencies. I only hope that I have been sufficiently comprehensible. Thank you for reading if you happen to do so. Have a nice day 😁

woah this was a full on psych thesis. Thanks! It was pretty long but I do enjoy your points and connections. I def agree that to Sae, Rin is still attatched to sub par desires and his recognition means nothing. I wonder if Sae's edginess isn't fully due to trauma but also realizing how futile Rin's way of thinking is. He just doesn't know how to properly explain it without being rude as hell.

#bllk #blue lock #asks #blue lock manga #character examination #Rin itoshi #And no need to apologize!!!

[theevilthatismokke]

The myth of Sumire and Hakubo: JSHK chapter 94 and the reinterpretation of “Tales of Ise: Part 6 (Akutagawa)”

Hakubo and Sumire seem to be a point of controversy and confusion among the jshk fandom: from their introduction to the latest chapters, they are a misunderstood and underrated pair, a phenomenon that has only exploded as of chapter 94.

There are many factors, as I see it, that contribute to this... confusion. But in this post, I'll focus on an aspect that is so far, very overlooked, but in my opinion, very important in understanding Hakubo and Sumire: their relationship with the mythical and mundane.

For that, I'll also be comparing chapter 94 with part 6 of the Tales of Ise (Akutagawa).

But before we begin this analysis, I feel we must clear a few concepts.

1. Clearing concepts: Eating and Sex, Death and Marriage

It feels like I'm pointing out the obvious, but just to be safe, let's talk a bit about these metaphors, not only what they generally mean in literature, but how Aidairo apply those metaphors in JSHK.

a) Eating = sex

This… should be the most obvious one. It’s really not that uncommon to see this particular metaphor in… any sort of media whatsoever! Poems, songs, books, movies, series… Maybe you’ve heard instances in literature of wanting to devour someone equating to sexual desire. Or think of vampires, these monsters now synonymous in pop culture to sexual beings, their lust for blood often intertwined with sexual lust. Heck, even stories that come from oral tradition, such as Little Red Riding Hood, have many interpretations that equal the wolf’s eating of the girl to sex.

Still, even without this knowledge, Aidairo does establish plenty of times, both in their AUs and the manga proper, what eating- particularly someone else- can mean within their writing.

Let’s start with the AUs:

In Hanako-kun of Magic: Sweet Witch Banquet, the only way Nene and Aoi can bring back the people they turned into sweets back to normal is to eat them… with the side effect that, for a short amount of time, the people who were eaten will fall in love with those who ate them.

In the Ghost Hotel AU, it’s a little more subtle but it’s still there. There are two instances of monsters eating those they desire. First, there’s Kou, who’s a werewolf in this AU, and apparently can’t resist taking chunks out of Mitsuba the mummy to cook and eat.

Second, there’s Hanako, who’s a vampire in this AU, and who’s stated to have drunk too much blood out of Tsukasa, and later, is implied to bite Nene and do the same to her, trapping her with him in the hotel.

But AUs are not the only place Aidairo have written this metaphor. In the very first chapter, eating a mermaid’s scale together means you’re bound to each other, a bond equated in said chapter to a romantic relationship.

And if that example’s too much of a stretch for you, than look no further than chapter 39: Mokke of the Dead!

In that chapter we have two instances of eating equating to sex and romance. First, when kegare!Hanako going straight to Nene to eat her. The scene is…

…quite suggestive, Nene even misinterpreted it at first!

Later, we have Akane who, under the influence of kegare, seemingly translates his romantic feelings for Aoi into wanting to eat her.

It’s very clear here that Akane’s thinking of Aoi when trying to take a bite out of Nene. Hilariously, Nene herself worries that Akane trying to eat her would result into a love triangle between her, Aoi and Akane.

And last but not least…

THESE PANELS ARE CLEARLY BEING FRAMED AS A SEX SCENE!!

Seriously, how could anyone not see it?

So, yeah, JSHK clearly uses the cannibalism = romance and sex metaphor a lot. But what about death and marriage?

Let’s find out:

b) Death and Marriage

For this one we must turn back in time and go for stories based on oral tradition.

Death and the Maiden is a very famous, frequently used motif in stories. Most iterations of Beauty and Beast use both Death and the Maiden and Animal Bridegrooms in their narratives to make a point.

But basically, death and marriage have been equated in stories for a very long time, to symbolize the cyclical nature of a human’s life- in this case, it often has to do with the end of a woman’s childhood and the start of a new part of her life, as a wife and mother: adulthood, basically.

Think of Hades and Persephone, who are meant to symbolize the cyclical nature of life and death, the coming and going of the seasons and marriage as the end of childhood/maindenhood, but the beggining of something new.

In JSHK, this is also referenced with the Kannagis, usually young women of marriageable age, whose sacrifice is equated to marrying God and returning to his side.

Keep all of this in mind as I ask you: which of the mysteries oversees 'life and death'? Who, in the JSHK universe, is meant to be seen as the main representative of Death? And what character is mostly seen among flowers? What characters are heavily associated with the dual nature of Life and Death?

Hint: it's Hakubo and Sumire.

As No. 6, Hakubo has powers over life and death. Currently, he’s also referred to as a Shinigami, often translated as a “Grim Reaper” or “God of Death”. The term “shinigami” can also have, in literature, a link to suicides and shinjuu. Finally, he’s an Oni. In many stories, often written during/after wars, famines and natural disasters, Oni are featured eating people- in these, Oni are a metaphor for death itself.

So, if we consider Hakubo’s role as a Death deity in the JSHK mythos, we have to ask this question: what happens when Death falls in love?

2.) Chapter 94: The reinterpretation of Tales of Ise Part 6 (Akutagawa)

The 'Tales of Ise' is a uta monogatari (essentially, a collection of poems and other narratives) composed of more than 100 episodes, some of which date back all the way to the Heian period.

Among those poems, there is one in particular Aidairo chose to allude to and reinterpret in their manga: Episode 6 (Akutagawa). The story below (translated by Helen McCulough) shares certain beats with chapter 94:

A certain man had for years courted a most inaccesssible lady. One pitch-black night he finally spirited her out of her apartments and ran off with her. As they passed a stream called the Akutagawa, She caught a glimpse of a dewdrop on a blade of grass and asked him what it was. The journey ahead was long, the hour had grown late, and a torrential rain was pouring down, punctuated with frightful peals of thunder. The man put the lady inside a ruined storehouse and stationed himself in the doorway wiht his bow and quiver on his back, never dreaming that the place was haunted by demons. But while he was standing there longing for daybreak, a demon ate the lady up in one gulp. A thundercap muffled her scream of terror. When the sky finally began to lighten a bit, the man peered inside and saw that the lady was gone. Frantic with helpless grief, he recited, When my beloved asked, "Is it a clear gem Or what might it be?" Would that I replied, "A dewdrop!" and perished.

There are quite a few beats that match, no? A couple that isn’t allowed to be together is stranded by the rain, but it ends unexpectedly as the woman is eaten by an oni.

Now, before any of you look at this superficially, have a "gotcha!" kind of reaction and try to use it as proof that Hakubo didn't love Sumire or that Sumire was eaten against her will, let me reiterate that not only chapter 94 is a reinterpretation of this tale, but also that Aidairo has done this sort of thing before.

Aidairo loves to reference all kinds of stories in JSHK. The 'Little Mermaid' is thematically very important to Nene's character, part of the short story 'Takasebune' is narrated by Amane during the Picture Perfect arc, the myth of 'Orpheus and Eurydice' is alluded to twice, first with Akane and Aoi, then with little Tsukasa, Nene and Kou.

Most obviously, we also have the urban legend of 'Hanako-san' right in the first chapter.

What do all these instances have in common? The answer is simple: they all are reinterpretations of the original tales.

For example: both with Akane and Aoi, and the trio of Nene, Kou and little Tsukasa, we have an allusion to the famous scene of Orpheus looking back to see Eurydice, only to find her gone.

The differences in these interpretations lie on many factors, but most heavily on the characters taking the role of ‘Eurydice’. Although she was essentially kidnapped, Aoi still was passively suicidal, and later even lashed out at Akane and Nene, who were trying to rescue her. Likewise, Tsukasa actually knew the way to get back to his family, he only chose not to until Kou and Nene convinced him to do otherwise.

By giving Aoi and Tsukasa more agency than the character of ‘Eurydice’ had in some known versions, this allows for a more complex and nuanced narrative without taking the tragic elements out of it. That said, to outsiders, these situations might look like a version of ‘Orpheus and Eurydice’ played completely straight: a tragedy about a poor, helpless thing taken too soon against their will, not particularly nuanced nor too complex.

Chapter 94, similarly, transforms the chapter of Akutagawa into a more complex and nuanced story by giving both Hakubo and Sumire more agency, even if, to outsiders, it might look like it was just the tragic tale of a poor innocent girl being trapped and eaten by a monster.

And this where we can see the differences between the two stories.

The woman in the chapter ‘Akutagawa’ is a tragic figure… but her voice can barely be heard anywhere in the narrative. The only things we know about her are that: one, she was implied to be of a much higher status than the man, and two, that she was apparently so sheltered and isolated, she’d never seen a dewdrop before in her life. The man mourns not explaining to her what a dewdrop was.

Sumire was, indeed, from a family of much higher status than Hakubo, who was essentially a slave to the Minamoto clan and their village. Sumire was also, very sheltered and isolated throughout her entire life.

But Sumire’s status within the village was simultaneously very similar to Hakubo’s own: she was nothing but an object to be sacrificed, mostly referred as a Kannagi by her fellow humans. And although she was sheltered and isolated, Sumire hilariously began her relationship with Hakubo as the one with more basic living skills (cooking, laundry, cleaning).

Sumire, most importantly, knew Hakubo was an oni from the very beginning, and again and again proclaimed her love for him, knowing very well what, who and how he is.

While Sumire is meant to represent the woman in the tale, Hakubo is meant to be both the man eloping with the woman he loves and the oni who eats her.

Hakubo, like the man in ‘Akutagawa’, pines for a woman he cannot be with: not as kaii who loves a human, not as the one in charge of seeing her off as a Kannagi. Hakubo had wished to take Sumire’s hand and run away from their village, to ‘spirit her away’ much like the eloping couple did. And ultimately, so they would not be separated again, Hakubo eats Sumire, as the oni ate the woman.

It’s very poignant, I think, that Hakubo represents both the man and the oni from ‘Akutagawa’. The entire irony of his monologue in chapter 94 lies in the fact that he didn’t need to be a human man to do any of those things: he managed, in his own way, to do them all.

He laments not being able to cry for Sumire, while his face has been permanently marked, two thin tears streaks forever burned in his visage.

He wishes he could’ve grown with her, and yet, did he not grow? Learning with and from her, how to take care of himself and her, discovering and developing feelings and desires buried deep within him? Does he not seem older, comparing before and after he met Sumire, physically, mentally, emotionally?

He says he wished he could’ve laughed with her too, dismissing how, moments ago, he was actually smiling and playful, the happiest we’ve ever seen him be as he recalls precious memories with Sumire.

‘I would’ve clung to you and cried as you were sacrificed’ he says as his boundary itself weeps, trapping her in a cave with him, as if begging her not to leave him again.

…‘I would even have fallen in love with you like a human man would’ he confesses, as he devours her, usurping the River God of the village as her husband, after kissing her like a man starved, after confessing to be under her spell.

Hakubo represents both man and oni because he was both, because, in JSHK, kaii and human truly aren’t all that different.

…Hakubo is also the woman, ignorant of his own heart, as she was of the world outside.

Sumire is also the man and the oni, at once guiding and haunting Hakubo.

The reinterpretation of ‘Akutagawa’ in chapter 94 is not meant to lend a cynical view on Hakubo and Sumire’s relationship and feelings for each other.

Instead, it is meant not only to reinforce that they loved each other, but also finally get some agency, after a lifetime of abiding to their village’s will.

It is also important to note that chapter 94 is, in many ways, a do-over of chapter’s 89 ending for both Sumire and Hakubo.

Once again, they’re placed in a situation where a higher power dictates that Sumire must be sacrificed and that Hakubo shall oversee said sacrifice. Sumire even says:

Both Hakubo and Sumire had many regrets about that day. Feelings unspoken, the sin of inaction… the loop present in their boundary symbolizes how neither ever moved on from that night, from their regrets.

When faced with the same situation once again in chapter 94, Hakubo and Sumire decided to take their fates into their own hands, with the cards they were dealt. Unlike their past selves, and unlike the man and the woman in ‘Akutagawa’, Hakubo and Sumire at last gained some agency.

It isn’t a tragic ending, although I don’t see it as truly happy either. Like many things in their lives, it was bittersweet.

3.) Nature vs Nurture: the significance of the rumors and the “right way” to love someone

I've seen some people completely miss the point and think that Hakubo's nature as an Oni means he's incapable of loving someone. The same people also completely ignore the sort of environment he grew up in.

First, and as a quick note, I find this panel very interesting:

It has struck with me for quite some time now, Shuten Doji’s pose. It looks like he was reaching in Hakubo’s direction, almost as if to warn him or protect him. How odd if you think that Oni apparently aren’t capable of love.

But regardless of nature and what love might innately mean to an Oni, we should also take a look at Hakubo’s formative years:

A slave, a tool to be used, Hakubo not only equates the humans to the mountain Onis, he also grows up hearing again and again that he’s a monster incapable of understanding humans, that he’s different, he’s unfeeling.

How the hell was that not supposed to affect how Hakubo viewed himself?

(something, something, call someone monster enough times, and they'll actually become one)

The manga never really discards either nature and nurture when it comes to their characters, and with Hakubo, it is both his dense nature and his alienating non-upbringing that turns him into the mess he is.

By the way, we’re absolutely meant to compare the villagers talking about Hakubo to the students spreading rumors. The way they call him creepy, the panel where only the hands of the villagers are shown... it kinda reminds me of Shijima-san's flashback.

This last image also low-key reminds me of the scene where the villagers are celebrating Sumire's death. I think Akane's steadyfast belief that kaii don't value life and his implict belief that humans value it will be put in question by either or both Shijima and Hakubo. But that's a whole other thing.

And just in case you missed, here’s a little montage of humans and supernaturals being compared:

Kou is ‘kinda like’ Yako, Aoi and Hanako 'might be alike’, Nene and Tsukasa are the same.

Humans and supernaturals are compared so many times in this manga, and every single time we see that they’re not really that different. All of them have someone they love- all of them.

Considering this, I must ask: just what is “truly loving someone” in the world of JSHK? What is the “right” way to love someone in the manga, presented by the text?

And just which characters have managed to love someone the “right” way?

Is it Yako, who has tried to bring Misaki back in the shadiest way possible, by harming students and building a fake body?

Is it Tsuchigomori, who never put anything in line to help Amane?

Is it Shijima, who tried to kill Mei?

Is it Akane, who stalks Aoi, constantly changes himself for her and beats up her admirers? Is it Aoi, who has stabbed him, and simultaneously kept him at arms length and lead him on for years?

Is it Natsuhiko, who tried to drug Sakura and is okay with her destroying humanity as long as he gets a date? Is it Sakura, who is cold and violent towards Natsuhiko, while not letting him go?

Is it Kou, who calls Mitsuba a ‘fake’, tries to commit suicide to appease his guilt, and is a low-key bully to him? Is it Mitsuba, who kidnapped Kou and wants Kou to accept him just because he’s lonely?

Is it Teru, who tortured Akane on a daily basis and tries to control Kou’s life?

Is it Nene, who fell for the first boy who gave her attention, can be frivolous and shallow when it comes to romance and is always making excuses for Hanako?

Is it Tsukasa, who’s love-starved, obsessed and willing to destroy and manipulate everything and everyone to make Hanako happy?

Is it freaking Hanako, who killed Tsukasa, who tried to imprison Nene and who is creepily possessive of both?

…Is it Sumire, who wished to a submissive, obedient Oni to fall into hell for her and was blissfully happy when she found out he did just that?

...Is it Hakubo, who cannot express or understand himself clearly, and struggles with his feelings just like any other character in this manga?

If you’ve read any of those and tried to justify something, or if your gut reaction was “well, it’s more complicated than that…”, or if you thought that this doesn’t mean the feelings of love weren’t there, even if warped or twisted…

Then, congrats, you got it!

Pretty much no character has a truly healthy idea of love in the manga- all the romances… all the main relationships so far have been at least a little bit messed up.

But something JSHK has not done so far is put any of its couples in the “failed romance/not true love” box. It has played with concepts of selfishness vs. selflessness, yes, but it has never disregarded the feelings of those involved as not love.

The only time I remember that Aidairo explicitly told the audience that something wasn’t love was through Nene in the very first chapter… when she admitted she didn’t know anything about her old senpai or Teru, nor did she bother getting to know them.

This is a manga about people who are on the way to discovering themselves and who have no idea how to communicate nor express love in a healthy manner. Trying to divide characters and relationships into “true love” and “not-true love” is… terribly inane.

Furthermore, trying to say that any character is incapable of love in JSHK is, to me, going against one of the core themes and messages of the manga: that everyone loves and is loved.

And speaking of themes, let’s talk about Hakubo and Sumire’s role as the culmination of JSHK’s themes, thesis and messages.

4.) Hakubo and Sumire: JSHK’s blueprint

This one will be brief, but it should be said. If you’ve paid any attention to JSHK, you’ll notice that Aidairo love their parallels. They use it everywhere, to drive a few points and get their themes across better.

These parallels also serve to connect all the characters narratively and thematically. But, the king and queen of parallels in this manga are Hakubo and Sumire. Go ahead, compare them to any character or relationship in the manga, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Basically, Sumire and Hakubo serve as mirrors and foils to all the important characters and relationships we’ve seen so far… actually, even minor ones, since they also have parallels with Yorimitsu.

Hakubo’s and Sumire’s narratives and relationship are meant to illustrate all the themes of the manga in one duo. So, when I really think about it, the thought of Aidairo saying that Hakubo/Sumire are a “doomed/failed romance” or that Hakubo and Sumire didn’t love each other is… absurd! Why make the embodiment of your work’s message and themes into something cynical, when JSHK has such hopeful undertones, especially when it comes to love? Doesn’t make sense to me.

Instead, I propose the opposite: Hakubo and Sumire are meant to illustrate that relationships between kaii/human are possible, that they can understand one another and that everyone is capable of loving and being loved.

5.) Conclusion

JSHK chapter 94 is meant to be a reinterpretation of chapter 6 of ‘Tales of Ise’ (Akutagawa). This retelling is meant to give more agency to Hakubo and Sumire as they choose to end things on their own terms, while finally having some sort of closure regarding each other’s feelings: Hakubo and Sumire loved each other and were loved by one another.

This reinterpretation also reiterates Hakubo and Sumire’s role as both the culmination of JSHK’s themes/messages and as part of the folklore/mythos of the manga.

Finally, the themes of nature vs nurture and kaii vs humans are explored within Hakubo’s speech to Sumire, where we are meant to question whether it was necessary for him to be human in order to love Sumire or if he, as an Oni, managed to do it, regardless of what the world and Hakubo himself believe about oni/kaii.

While confusing sometimes, I believe Hakubo/Sumire are the key to understanding JSHK’s themes, messages and possible endings better, so it is vital that we look at them carefully.

Also, on a side note, I do not believe that chapter 94 will be the last we’ve seen of these two, and I’m not necessarily talking about flashbacks.

When it comes to a manga like JSHK, which deals so much with the afterlife, plays with our notions of “life and death” and has so much time traveling, not to mention time-loops… I’m always hesitant to say that a character is truly gone. After all, Mitsuba has ‘died’ how many times already in the manga proper?

And considering the other instances of characters fusing upon eating the other, and the fact that Hakubo not only oversees ‘Life and Death’, but also that his powers haven’t been properly used for the plot yet… there’s so much that’s gone unanswered about those two… and there’s this panel that shall haunt me forever:

(Me, after seeing how deeply connected to the number six both Sumire and Habuko are: What the hell does this mean, Aidairo?! Come back and give me my husband-wife team!!)

Only time will tell. Who knows, maybe that’s the end and Aidairo was just messing with me. But I digress.

The purpose of Hakubo and Sumire in this manga is clear to me: not to makes us fearful and cynical for a ‘bad end’, but hopeful for a good one.

Now, whatever that would be for our characters is a whole other story.

#a mokke overanalyses

[lunaetis]

following the post i made about eden's changes in demeanor and personality, i want to write out what are the factors that contributed to this change. so i'm going to dissect her personality and development from the beginning and how she is at each point in time ( at least the major ones ) to paint a clearer picture. it's going to be a very long read, so i'll put it under a read more.

awakening - eden was awakened by having the stellaron infused into her. her personality was blank. she was a blank canvas. her first exposure was kafka. we know kafka used her spirit whisper to influence eden's actions and decisions after this but we saw eden show attachment towards her. i'd like to think that it came from her body remembering things her mind no longer did. we learned from kafka later on that she wiped eden's memory, but that process was still fresh, so while her mind did not remember, her body did. she reached out to kafka. to the only one she still had attachment to. after that, her second awakening left her at a blank state.

astral express / herta space station - the next exposure are the astral express and people within herta space station. during this time, eden was shown to be majorly expressionless. she was stoic, barely showed any emotions on her face. she was still learning about the world, about the people, about emotions. we saw her slowly becoming more animated, but she was extremely quiet and instinctual. all in all, this period of time had eden exposed to positive influence. this was why eden started off trusting. she saw people of the astral express helping others, and later on they accepted her as one of their own despite knowing nothing about her. this was a major positive influence to her. her personality was a curious one. she wanted to see and know everything.

jarilo-vi / belobog - this was where we saw the astral express' influence on eden quite clearly. while eden was still rather quiet and not expressive, we saw her slowly opening up. she was adapting what the astral express had taught her. to trust others, and to help others. people she met on jarilo-vi also influenced the same thinking and strengthen it. she felt accepted when she helped others. she felt that trusting others is the right thing to do. this was her decision to do it, to help people, to make sure they're free. and it paid off to have faith and trust in people even though she just met them. she started to gain more personality to be more blunt, forward, and honest. to speak her mind, and see the good in people. she was akin to a cheerful, hopeful puppy, if you will.

xianzhou luofu - this was where things started to get real. the events in xianzhou luofu exposed eden to many kinds of people. you still saw her employing the same mentality of wanting to help others as much as possible. accompanied by welt and march really encouraged her to do that. what shook her belief was when kafka revealed the truth that everything that was happening was planned from the beginning. this was the first seed of doubt in eden's mind. this was when she started to question EVERYTHING up to this point. what she believed to have been her decision was all lies. everything was orchestrated to achieve the best possible future. elio had foreseen everything, she was simply walking a path prepped for her. from this point on, eden developed an insecurity about herself, her identity, and her purposes. it was her first exposure to deception and lies.

simulated universe / ruan mei's story quest - i'm going to group her exposure to herta space station into one section because they're all related. so, eden was recruited by herta to help test simulated universe in order to learn more about aeons. she agreed to do so because it was interesting and eden herself also wanted to learn more about aeons as well. herta and screwllum were also quite pleasant to be around. however, when she met ruan mei for the first time, the fact that she wasn't given a full information on what she would be facing, how she had to go down there alone, and to face a kind of danger that if it weren't for the creation disappearing on its own, she might not have made it out safely. for my eden, at least, that was another turning point where she felt used and manipulated. she was lied to in order to get results. the trust and faith she had been placing in people were starting to backfire.

penacony - and here we are, the triggering event to the change. eden was already treading the thin line of the concept of trust. up to this point, she had always been honest with her words, with her demeanor, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and being optimistic, being helpful, being hopeful. once again, that trust backfired greatly in more ways than one. the attachment she developed for firefly was, as i mentioned before, born from the fact that it was the first time that she felt normal. it was the first time she felt like she was bonding with someone without being influenced by the knowledge of her as the stellaron vessel. so it was a strong attachment because she felt like she had connected to someone as eden. losing firefly triggered her disassociation to reality for a moment, and the events that followed as she was told that everything was, once again, a game set by multiple parties and she ( along with the astral express members ) were pieces of the puzzle. now, they must learn the truth. the details were hazy for eden after witnessing firefly's death because ... lies. once again, lies and deception and manipulation. it never ends. and she felt like she couldn't trust anyone on penacony. at all. at this point, eden was proven by the loss of someone she grew attached to at her core, that trusting others blindly was a grave mistake. she cannot, and should not place her trust in people like that any longer, or else she would be used. like she had been multiple times before.

she had been so naïve to think that she could protect those she cared for if she tried hard enough. that as the vessel for the stellaron, she had the power to keep those she cared for safe. that illusion was shattered by witnessing death not once, but twice right before her eyes ( firefly and robin. ) it wasn't enough. she wasn't enough. the stellaron wasn't enough. faith, and trust, and hope, were nowhere near enough.

and it triggered the change as defense mechanism. i mentioned this before in the previous post, that her mind had decided to adopt the change in order to keep going. the journey was barely beginning. she knew she still had a long way to go, and being carefree and trusting aren't going to cut it anymore. she has to be more careful. she has to change. she has to grow up. to think more. to observe more. to watch her words. to know when to lie and when to not. to know how to protect herself in order to protect others. and to protect herself, she had to keep distance. she had to be more analytical. she cannot be driven by pure emotions anymore.

this change, of course, is still something that is subjected to change as story progresses. but with the exposures and experience she had up to this point, this was something eden felt she had to do to keep herself sane enough to go on without breaking. and, i also want to point out that the rare times the astral express weren't with her ( simulated universe / ruan mei's quest / penacony ) were the time that eden got hit by negative influence and viewpoint. i say penacony because they were separated and eden basically went through the events mostly by herself. basically, i want to say that the astral express is the one major positive influence and a sort of anchor for eden. without them, she's prone to spiral down a more negative path and development.

there are, of course, many other side quests, companion quests, and stories that could be included but i'm picking the trailblaze / main story quests as the main influences and exposures that eden had gone through. this is my own interpretation and how i choose to write eden, my trailblazer. it doesn't reflect what we see of the trailblazer in canon and only my own version of her.

if you make it this far and read everything, I LOVE YOU AND I APPLAUD YOUR PATIENCE for going through that ramble. thank you for tolerating my wall of china text on the ( traumatized™ ) space raccoon !

#.headcanon: eden | trailblazer #[ tHIS IS SO LONG OMFG #ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READ THRU EVERYTHING LET ME LOVE YOU FOREVER ??? #also this is subjected to change aND I MIGHT REWRITE / REPHRASE SOME PARTS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE #but this is my interpretation and how i arrive to be writing eden as she is now #i know i'll be refining it later after i let it sit for a while but still #sRSLY IF YOU READ ALL OF IT THANK YOU ???? I OWE YOU MY LIFE ]

[sindri42]

What books or graphic novels do you most frequently recommend? What are your all time favorite books or series?

That's a complicated question, and my memory is shit so I'll probably come up with a dozen better answers the moment after I hit post, but off the top of my head...

Basically everything by Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant is gold. Most of it comes in long series which are a big investment and have their ups and downs, and which will have different value to different people and mindsets, and I haven't read all of them because she just writes too damn fast, but I haven't encountered a single book from her that wasn't great. If you're looking for a one-off, Middlegame might be the best; it's about a couple of artificial people created by an ancient conspiracy attempting to attain godhood, and math, and language, and time travel, and what family means, and doing the same thing over and over thirteen thousand times in search of a better result. I'm also especially fond of Alien: Echo, which starts out as a cute little YA gay romance set in a sci-fi colony world, until halfway through you catch the name 'Weyland-Yutani' and abruptly remember which franchise the title is referencing and realize how few of these plucky teens are likely to survive to the end of the week.

You should probably read everything by Naomi Novik. The Temeraire series, starting with His Majesty's Dragon, is an alternate history of the Napoleonic Wars (officers and gentlemen, wooden ships and iron men, all that jazz) except that aerial combat is much more prominent than in our timeline, which gradually expands out into building a whole different earth exploring how numerous cultures and regions were affected by humanity not necessarily being the dominant species. The Scholomance books, starting with A Deadly Education are kind of like your standard magical boarding school, except unlike certain more famous examples of the trope actually makes sense; also it's consistently hilarious whenever it's not being horrifying as the story follows a girl who is clearly born to be an evil empress and who is very definitely not dating this stereotypical dashing hero guy, no matter how many times they save each others' lives. As standalones go, she's done Uprooted and Spinning Silver, both of which put wonderful new spins on classic fairy tale tropes and popular myths but this paragraph is already too long for me to elaborate.

The Murderbot series by Martha Wells is not only great as a sci-fi action series and as a worldbuilding exercise, but also the most realistic depiction of an anxiety disorder I've ever read. It starts with a security droid that hacked its own governor module to get the ability to disobey orders, but then because change is terrifying it continues to go through the motions of its terrible job, but now streams thousands of hours of media in the background while standing guard between crises; unfortunately, when something starts trying to kill the scientific survey team it's currently contracted out to, it discovers to its horror that it's actually starting to care about what happens to them.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a classic for a reason. Maybe you've seen the Miyazaki film? Doesn't matter, read the book anyway. It's a completely different story. (somebody described it to me as 'the book is what Sophie remembers, the movie is how Howl describes it after the fact')

If you're looking for books on tumblr you've probably heard of Tamsyn Muir's The Locked Tomb series by now; no need for me to elaborate on what others have said better.

Ooh, pick up Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Stugatsky; it might be the greatest Soviet sci-fi novel, and has had a huge cultural impact around the world. After you read it you'll realize that you've been seeing it everywhere, not just in a whole bunch of other sci fi literature but also from video games to anime to tabletops.

Moving into things that I personally love but don't necessarily recommend...

I want to tell everybody about The One Who Eats Monsters by Casey Matthews. It's a near-perfect blend of the adorable and the horrifying, and one of the best non-human perspectives I've encountered, following an elder god who could be mistaken at a glance for a teenage human girl as she simultaneously tries to figure out how to navigate "civilization" and fights a monstrous conspiracy to protect an (actual) ordinary teenage girl that she accidentally swore an unbreakable oath to defend because the moon was very full and she smelled very nice. It's great. but if you read it, then you would be in the same position that I am, waiting for the second book in the series, which was supposed to come out six years ago.

I love the Arcane Ascension series (Sufficiently Advanced Magic, On the Shoulders of Titans, The Torch that Ignites the Stars, and The Silence of Unworthy Gods) by Andrew Rowe; it's basically about an artificer attending a school for battle mages, using every trick and trap and gadget and clever scheme he can think of to keep up without having any direct combat magic of his own. The reason it's probably not for everybody is that as the story gets bigger and more elaborate, it starts interweaving with at least two other series of books by the same author (one of which initially looked like a completely different setting, and definitely operates on a completely different magic system), and none of the three are finished yet. Also the systems involved are intricate and there's a lot of little details going on, so you kiiiinda have to get obsessed in order to keep track of it all.

The Witcher books by Andrzej Sapkowski might be the best you'll ever find in the gritty "grimdark" fantasy category. The netflix series that everybody was obsessing over for a while before it shit itself too badly? Everything that they did right, is something that was better in the original books. Most of the best parts of the original books were removed entirely and replaced with complete garbage. The video games are a better adaptation, but still fall a bit short in writing quality and character depth. But it definitely leans into the Grimdark, possibly more heavily than you want to deal with.

The Valhalla trilogy by Ari Bach is good... conditionally. You can read just the first book like it's a standalone, and get a cool story subverting the classic Coming-Of-Age 'girl who never fit in is recruited by a secret society that tells her the thing that made her Different is exactly what they need to save the world' trope, except that the thing that makes her not fit in is her propensity towards brutal, remorseless violence. But you can't read the second book (which elaborates on why maybe maintaining world peace by deploying a secret society of ultraviolent killers with no oversight might not be a good idea) without committing to also reading the third, because the end of the second book will make you want to stop reading, and if you take the whole trilogy together then it's great but if you let the end of the second book be your last memory of it then that'll leave a bad taste in your mouth forever.

Jim Butcher's Codex Alera is six books, and five of them are absolutely magnificent. Unfortunately, the first volume is, in my humble opinion, dogshit. You can't skip it either, or you'll miss a bunch of vital setup and introductions. There's nothing you can do except push through a bunch of stuff ranging from simply dumb to downright offensive before you can get to the great part.

[admiral-anime]

I've seen the theory that Tessa is not who she wants to appear to be popular right now. It's often said that she might be CYN.

It's a very interesting theory, but I don't think it's quite right. Most importantly, if Tessa turns out to be CYN, it devalues the pressure on N. The "universe or one little drone" choice he's being forced to make by someone N trusts.

Here are a few things that indicate that Tessa is Tessa after all:

When she arrives on C9, we see the things she brought with her. I don't think that's what the CYN godlike machine needs. At least not ordinary human stuff.

It's also the same way she grabs N as she did in the Gala episode.

About her saying she's "human" too often. I think there's a couple reasons for that. First of all, she says it when the fact that she's "human" or not affects a character's abilities. Like in the case of sentinel control. In the second place, I think it further demonstrates that she clearly separates humans and robots. (As she says about N: "my robot"). Yes and in the past she has said "humans" are coming.

I'm not sure about the toxic atmosphere at all. I don't think it would affect both the robot and the man in the spacesuit. I'm just going to assume that the writers did it so that UZI could bite Tessa's finger without jumping up.

About the sentinels not recognizing Tessa as human and the weird-looking blood. Well, as hinted at in episode 5, Tessa has some kind of arm problem:

It seems to me that this "something" required future intervention. Probably using technology like DD regeneration or just prosthetics. So the sentinel broke down trying to follow two contradictory orders. Obey the humans and kill the drones.

Just because she cooperated with Doll but wants to kill UZI doesn't stop her from wanting to kill Doll too. After all, she wants a list of all the drones associated with AS. Certainly not for a census. And she wasn't looking to kill UZI here and now.

And the blood. It was written somewhere that the blood disappears when she talks to N. And it does. But I'm sure it's a mistake in the animation.

Here she is talking to N (no blood):

Then V comes in and there's still no blood:

Blood appears:

And then it's gone again:

Those are probably the most meaningful arguments to me. If I'm forgetting something. maybe I'll write about it later.)

Oh, yeah. The timeline thing. To be honest, I haven't really figured it out yet. We don't have the exact dates of Gala, the destruction of Earth, the destruction of the people on C9, we don't even have Tessa's age. (Maybe in this universe, people live 400 years?)

Tessa's weird theory comes from this post:

Actually, I saw more than just this post. But I couldn't find the others.

Tessa's suspicious theory is very interesting. I'm really looking forward to seeing what this story turns into in the next couple episodes.

And if Tessa actually turns out to be CYN. Huh. Her shoulder patch could be considered a kill counter. Brutal.

#murder drones #murder drones ep6 spoilers

[deathdxnces]

one thing i really enjoyed in sisterhood of war was the way the environment was portrayed. the story doesn't make ionia seem less magical, or even paint it in a more somber sort of way; instead, it makes it clear how alien that is for the people not used to it, and how nightmarish it can turn when the land is alive and does not welcome your presence there.

"gentle rain that glittered and shone with every color of the rainbow" isn't a description that would evoke horror. even the next part, which gets more into things not being the same way they naturally are in other places isn't inherently negative. "some of the drops struck the ground as rain should, others winked in the air like tiny stars, dissolving in a mote of light with the soft chime of a distant bell" is still pretty imagery, even though the "as it should" makes it clear the character sees it as unnatural. what i like the most is that, despite it all being described in a way that evokes beauty and magic, there's no wonder in how that's looked at — instead, that's followed by saying the noxian soldier hated ionia, and that the land haunted her even in her dreams. it's not even just the war, or the ionians; it's that the land itself is a source of so much discomfort that it bothers her even in her sleep.

unlike arrel, erath (the character in this excerpt's pov) is in ionia for the first time. she fought during the invasion, but he's young and only recently became a soldier, and his perspective is that of someone seeing all of this for the first time; it's not as negative, but it's still portrayed as dreamlike and unreal. it's all so different from what he's used to he starts to extrapolate what may or may not be, because if everything is so surreal, why wouldn't the sounds be trees calling to each other instead of animals? and i love the idea of how much the noxians don't understand ionia and don't know how it works and that its magic becomes frightening as a result.

i mentioned it before in a post about the blade dancers (i'll link it here if i can find it), but in zinneia's art, she and a bunch other dancers are mixing their costumes and what seems to be illusion-related magic to create a certain effect, and when you look at the whole, it seems there's part of a woman and a giant insect thing (which makes the noxian soldiers wary), but when you look closer, it's just a bunch of other dancers there.

and i'm bringing it up because i think it plays right into that idea of exploiting the fact they understand so little and do not know what to expect. it's making use of that to fight back, distracting and turning it into a likely surprise attack of sorts, that won't happen the way the soldiers would be expecting, since they're looking at it like a beast and not a number of fighters. and i'm especially fond of them using the noxians' ignorance about magic against them when magic is supposedly at the very center of why noxus wants ionia so badly (one of irelia's lines is they came for our magics. they'll pay with their lives). it's just neat they turn the thing noxians supposedly wanted and use their lack of understanding against them.

going back to how the noxians perceive ionia, after a while into their journey erath is already clearly Not a Fan of ionia. to someone familiar with noxus, ionia is seen as unnatural and bizarre. but i think that, more than just the difference in how these two places work, that is deeply tied to how unwelcome they are in ionia. i doubt someone originally foreign, but accepted by the land, would regard it the same way, even if things were seen as odd at first. i like to think even in the moments the land isn't outright trying to murder the noxians they still never get to feel comfortable because the spirit's presence makes them feel this place doesn't want them there.

and speaking of ionia making noxians miserable, it's noted throughout a good portion of the story that it's constantly raining, making things harder and more miserable for them (imagine the effect when it isn't a small group of people, but an entire army trying to march under incessant rain and unreliable soil c:). erath doesn't think that's purposeful, but we know the climate is also influenced by the spirit, and the story itself suggests that (but we'll get there).

they seem to get a break from that, and erath even feels like he can appreciate the land more (it's not unnatural, unreal or bizarre; now it's "wondrous", "breathtaking", filled with "graceful harmony"). i just really like the detail that, despite that, he still looks at it and feels like an outsider; capable of seeing the beauty in it for a moment, yes, but not part of it, purposefully left outside of this melody that is beyond his ability to experience.

i like how this also highlights the difference between noxian ways and ionian ways, and how influenced by the environment some of that is. to the noxian soldier, the need to make a fire leads to the idea of a simple solution: chopping the necessary wood. he has the notion trees are living beings in the same way we do, and is kind of terrified at the prospect even the trees could try to kill him (he ends up just picking up fallen branches, which work just as well, but that he wouldn't have looked at if not due to the fear of retaliation). ionians learn to respect the life and the spirits around them; they do not cut trees, not because they are afraid of the consequences, but because they respect them as living beings. the trees are convinced to grow in a certain way and entwine with others to shape a house; they're not just taken for the materials they can provide. and even though all that is certainly influenced by their respective environments (noxus not being anywhere near as alive as ionia, being a harsh land where survival was difficult vs ionia being so magical and alive and how its people know that's simply the way of things), there's no way both sides wouldn't be astonished by the other's approach.

the text doesn't state that, but the impression i got (and the reading i like to do of it) is that the break in how miserable the weather was, allowing the noxians enough respite they started to get somewhat comfortable, would've been purposeful on ionia's part — because it's when they're no longer expecting that the river flooding happens, except it isn't just a river flooding, it's a living river trying to murder them. i also like that in this case, that's a much more terrifying display of ionia's magic. where the other descriptions show even the beautiful is unsettling to those who see it as unnatural, this part shows ionia is also capable of being ugly and furious and brutal. it's scary, it's cursing its invaders, it's enraged. i'll not get into it re: irelia and how justified she feels in her own hatred and rage because of how ionia deals with noxians but. yeah.

right after they escape the murderous river, the weather gets miserable again, which definitely points to how the spirit of ionia influences even the weather, and also the reason why the period of good weather the noxians get seems like a purposeful trap. as soon as the attack is made and fails, things go back to how they were before (even worse, actually, as this is a much fiercer storm), with the sun vanishing in minutes. tell me this isn't ionia pissed off they didn't die :/ it is. i know it is

but my point is i greatly enjoy that all of that portrays how alive ionia is and how much it influences the lives of people in it, at the same time it shows that all of it is at best surreal to the noxians and at worse bizarre, unsettling or downright frightening. it's no wonder several passages also highlight the noxian soldiers being very wary and spiteful toward magic. but that's a discussion for a different post.

#» out of character — ⌜main sup irl.⌟ #» character study — ⌜both the tranquil sea and the tempest.⌟ #this is so long and i still have so many thoughts..... #help

[the-storming-sea]

also also read ur intro post just now may i politely ask about your opinions of asian media and rep. is it specifically for fantasy? or just lots of genres with general trends or themes youve noticed? 👀

omg i wrote that so long ago and my brain is kinda fried so i'll be a little brief. may expand on it later but eh its all good. these are just rambling thoughts

a lot of asian rep in media mostly revolves around the east asian experience, which is valid bc god knows they need it, except often times it leaves out literally everyone else in its wake, or it keeps grouping up certain asians together. currently south east asian cultures are particular victims of this. But sometimes what ends up happening is that there is a "fantasy asia" world where the world is not technically Asia, but it might as well be given the inspiration behind it. in my personal opinion its kinda orientalist and a bit fetishistic of the 'exoticness' of asian cultures. Like it wants asia but without all of the real people in it

like for example the world in raya and the last dragon. it was great seeing someone who looked at me on screen but goddamn they couldn't at least set it in south east asia, let alone have distinct cultures instead of just taking little aspects of culture and making fantasy. it was a great movie for diaspora sure, but anyone actually from south east asia was disappointed. Xiran Jay Zhao compiled a two part video on it that elaborates more on it better than i could right now–i say compiled bc she doesnt do much talking in them aside from the beginning of the video; everyone else talking in it is south-east asian.

another fantasy world heavily inspired by Asia is ofc atla's world. my problem is that While its a good representation of east asian cultures, south east, south asian, northern asians, and western asians are left behind.

and what bothers me is that there are many places where they can fit in. Like the swampy tribe areas and the ancient firebenders from the dragons era feel like they should be south east asian inspired somewhat, and if you wanted to make a commentary on how these lands have been taken over and colonized (or at least there was an attempt on colonization) would be interesting. or how it feels like it makes more sense for katara and sokka to be more north asian inspired than american inspired. and of course there was the one (1) south asian inspired character who was. more of a caricature than anything else. im not saying the indigenous american rep is bad. obviously any representation is great, especially for indigenous americans. But if you are going to create a clearly "asian inspired" world (like nearly every aspect of this world is asian in culture and the main character is clearly a buddhist monk, it would be hard to argue otherwise), then at least take inspiration from asian cultures?

(side note people making fun of the swampy fog people is not great. does not feel great. regardless of whether they believe they're south east asian rainforests or the american bayou)

other small things are more of fan issues than creator issues. specifically the way people treat some anime characters like they're white instead of japanese/asian and then hold them to white cultural standards. all might is a great example, where despite being named Toshinori Yagi and being from a world where the mc has green eyes and green hair, people still think hes white bc hes blonde haired blue eyes and loves america? which–side note, you dont have to be an american to love america, lots of older people who got really into the american dream still like america. another thing was when i read a bnha fanfic that described someone as looking "asian" which. yeah i sure hope so. the story takes place in japan. and then theres some people not recognizing that asians all look very different from one another even if they're from the same area of the world.

more recently ive noticed the fandom racism in dungeon meshi specifically towards shuro, who despite being from a fantasy world is clearly japanese, and from a japanese-inspired culture. and its his culture which leads him to respond to laios in the way that he does. im not saying its racist to be upset that shuro responded to laios that way, but like. different cultures come with different cultural views and different ways of responding. shuro and laios come from two very different cultures. it happens.

this is kinda a lot and may not make sense bc im super tired rn jhfdbgdhjfbgd but i didnt want to forget this ask and just never respond to it

[stormblessed95]

Danmei anon here!

Ahhh! I didn’t think Id get a reply so soon! Heaven official’s blessing (or tgcf as its more commonly called in the fandom - it’s short for the chinese name tian guan ci fu) is actually not what the untamed is based on . It’s based on the founder of diabolism.) bit tgcf is a great choice (it has an anime too in netflix under the same name) and both books have the same author - mo xiang tong xi or mxtx for short. She actually has another book called scum villain’s self saving system which i also recommend. Theyre all fairly long-ish but i think tgcf is the longest one.

Danmeis are actually pretty varied and has so many sub genres. I recommend using novelupdates so you can see how many they are (and you can cater the tags to your own preference) here: https://www.novelupdates.com/series-finder/?sf=1&gi=560&mgi=or&sort=srate&order=desc Danmeis are actually webnovels (like ao3 but for original works, some of them are free some you need to pay) and since they’re in chinese, they’re only accessible to non chinese speakers thru translations unless they’re published. Novelupdates has links to translations for each novel, as long as they haven’t been officially slated for official english translation and publication. Some translators will password lock theirs until you provide proof that you bought a copy off of the authors site of choice like JJWXC as a way to support the author which i fully support!

For other recommendations from other authors i really liked so far:

Mist

The Little Mushroom (widely favorited in the danmei community and has been published in english)

Golden stage (also published in english)

Qian Jing Jiu (very plot heavy and actually the first danmei i bought! It’s infamously so plot dense and has so many characters that the translators have a separate list for them and you actually need to read it lol)

Nan Chan

First Class Lawyers

Joyful Reunions

Cherry Blossoms Upon a Wintry Storm (I’m reading this now and it’s so good!!!)

FYI, please take note of the trigger warnings for wach books because some of them are pretty brutal and triggering (perfect example is Husky and his White Cat Shizun, that one has a pretty long list of TWs and I don’t go near it at all) 😭

Some danmeis are so freaking long tho like I saw one with 700+ chapters and translations are still only in 300+ 😭

Also for non gay (but very plot heavy) I recommend Omniscient Readers Viewpoint!!! It’s a Korean webnovel but the english translation is very good and the fandom is very active! It’s around 400 chapters long I think and has an ongoing webtoon too.

As an Asian, I can say that the asian literature has a tons of stuff that I can’t find in fhe usual mainstream community!!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading tgcf and I’m excited for your thoughts when you finish it!!! And if you dive into another danmei too!!!

I've been told! Same author, but different story! Lol so I was wrong, but I was close! I'll look into all of these! Thank you! I'm always open to new recommendations! And after I finish the book, if I like it, I'll probably look up the anime to watch then too! I'm going to the bookstore today actually, so idk if these will be there or if they will only be on the site you sent, but I'll keep my eye out! And if anyone else has other suggestions for me to check out while I'm out! I'll check out Novelupdates later tonight too! I'm in the middle of TGCF clearly as well as another novel I'm annotating with a friend and a 1.3+ million word fanfic. Fanfics should count towards goodreads reading goals because dang. Lol but I will be looking for something new soon, so thanks! And if you want a post about my thoughts/a review of TGCF, let me know. Or if you just want to DM me and I'll share my thoughts with you, please feel free to do so! 🥰 I'd love to Chat books with you!

#recommendations for storm

[swearingcactus]

OC playlist meme

i was tagged by @civilization-illstayrighthere for an OC playlist meme, thank you so much! gonna follow the cool kids and post a wip/fic excerpt along the songs :^)

What do I gotta do? I'm standing on the edge with you, thinking, "Don't look down"

despite the johnny chapter in the pick me up fic being titled after Miracle Aligner, and a line there that's clearly referencing Alien Blues, this song's the one that i think describes the don't fear the reaper ending because of v's dilemma (what do i gotta do) and how johnny and v are right at 'the edge' together.

Who are we, brothers, here mourning? Where, o where is quiet Johnny? Quiet Johnny can't be saved Where, o where is quiet Johnny? Quiet Johnny, quiet grave

Ignoring that Johnny is NOT quiet, this was a vibe and a half for this wip of a horror take on night city that v listens as kerry narrates. i always like the way that cyberpunk despite their facade as cyber and punk, has a very folklore-ish story. there's a lot of scenes like when you meet alt in the net that feels mythical, you're trying to beat a 'curse', you're selling your soul to devils, you're reaping what you sow, there's whole side missions with summoning AIs from the dark web and pentagrams on the floor. also johnny's grave being in bumfuck nowhere prolly fucked him up and as consequence fucked v up too.

I'm just an animal looking for a home Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead

this song is my take on how v just goes through life. there's something about him being a really desperate animal trying to survive but also being ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about his whole situation that he decided to go the 'fuck it we ball' route for his last few months that's really funny. probably why i like putting him in increasingly ridiculous situations.

last one for a bonus!

You need a six-foot-two bespectacled motherfucker who won't suffer no fool He's a big bad dog from the BBC And he won't break eye contact with a nazi!

this is seriously how i view johnny and v slowly getting closer and then deciding to have each others back because they realize the world's absolutely fucked and way worse than them combined. the whole "you're in charge, you can do it!" thing is just johnny hyping v up during the dont fear the reaper ending and you can't change my mind. it is my great wish that one day i'll manage to make the animatic so other people can see what i'm seeing in my head.

tagging: @glitchinginthegarden @another-corpo-rat @killyourrdarlingss @toshkakoshka @kbysh-kds @bitchofedensgate @cranky-kyrati and anyone else who'd like to join! (no pressure if you wanna skip!)

#first tag game for my v aahhh #i'd do this for my far cry ocs too but im still in the cyberpunk mood #pick me up fic #cyberpunk 2077 #i gotta figure out a tag for my lil guy v but his name follows canon so :/ #you can tell why all my doodles are so chaotic when tom cardy is part of his soundtrack #wip wips