#one fucking day im going to say fuck all my hobbies just to become a fashion designer for TWO PEOPLE: PEOPLE WHO NEED STOMPY PLATFORMS

[im-illegal]

sensory issues one million. im killing all swimsuit designers with a brick.

#ok 2 rb the following is just my current resoning but this is widely applicable otherwise #WHO FUCKIMG SAID. THAT ANYONE OVER A CERTAIN CUP SIZE DOESNT DESERVE SECURE SWIM TOPS BECAUSE I DONT THINK THEY FUCKING EXIST #litterally all of them are so open an the cups NEVER ACTUALLY HOLD EVERYTHING‼️‼️ EVERYTHING FUCKING SPILLS OUT #if i were to actually swim in this everyone would get nipple flashed so fast it makes me angry. WHO DESIGNED THESE. #also when they make things for bigger cup sizes they NEVER CONSIDER HOW MUCH THE STRAPS. ARE IMPACTED. #like the straps arent supposed to be doing some heavy lifting which they do INTO YOUR SKIN #not at ALL NO WAY (sarcasm one million. the straps have furled themselves into a rope and its giving me rope burn) #one fucking day im going to say fuck all my hobbies just to become a fashion designer for TWO PEOPLE: PEOPLE WHO NEED STOMPY PLATFORMS #FOR WIDE FEET AND SWIMSUITS FOR PEOPLE WITH LARGER CUP SIZES. GOING TO WAR FOR THESE PEOPLE #anyways. 💫💕

[eeulysian]

ha. ha. ha. since ur requests are open.. I'll be requesting a fic for my beloved, chelsea from path to nowhere. writer!reader who makes novels and chelsea is interested in reader's works hehejwheueh.. he.. heh.. ok neways ^_^ chelsea then gives reader an opportunity to make their works more popular!!!.. if tjat makes sense idk but!!! in exchange, chelsea gets to have reader for herself! then reader is tempted but they'll make money from it so.. yah. in other words, this is kind of like idk prostitution— but i promise if u word it in a different way, it's ok... this happened to me in a dream btw

(heh.. nsfw.. if that's ok.. idk im kinda down bad for chelsea since shes my gf)

⟡ . IRRATIONAL COMPENSATION

summary: all in the request above!

cw: afab!reader, developing smut, oral and fingering (f!receiving), dom/sub dynamics, chelsea is a flirt, did i make it too long... chelsea is a squirter change my mind

a/n: i wouldn't call it prostitution? maybe compensation is a better word!! and i'm sorry if this isn't good enough, its my first time making smut 😞 and i think i went overboard and made it too long... soz i was too into it 💔💔

WRITING used to be a hobby for you, you used to be that wattpad kid that would make those alpha vampire boyfriend and the sheltered white girl kind of fics. but as you grew older, you began to take your hobby seriously, and it became a dream for you to become a novelist. so of course, you were able to get yourself into a publishing house, making yourself an official author. the only problem is, the publishing house is really unknown, so none of your works were able to make it big. you only had about like what — 50 or so fans/readers? yeah, even though you were grateful that they read your works, a part of you still wishes for the numbers to magically increase by the coming days.

you thought there was no hope for you, your works and your dreams, so you decide to drown yourself in alcohol, hoping to forget all your worries. so you went to a bar to get yourself a drink. then a second. then a third. then a fourth. then a fifth.

when is this going to end?

oh you were soooo depressed, no matter how many shots you took, your worries couldn't get out of your head. "i'm about to lose it," you think. not until a sultry voice called out to you from your right. "hey cutie, you seem to be stressed. what's the matter?"

you hastily turn to your right to find the source of the silky voice, and your (e/c) orbs meets with ones that are as red as wine. not to mention, her hair was pink. oh fuck. pink. pink hair??? you had a thing for pink haired girls. and this girl made you weak to the knees. it's probably because you're a little tipsy, but right there at that moment you wished you could kiss her oh so annoyingly, attractive red lips. this woman was downright beautiful and it's amazing how only her voice made you forget your worries.

she waves her hand infront of your face, trying to get your attention "hello? earth to... what's your name?" she chuckles, and at that moment you realized you've been too lost in your thoughts so you look like you've been staring at her for quite some time now... how embarrassing. "oh, m'sorry i think i'm just a little tipsy right now hahaaa... i'm y/n. andddddd you? beautiful lady?" what the fuck y/n why did you say that you're WAY too drunk to be flirting with gorgeous ladies right now you could trip and laugh it off like it's nothing in this state what is wrong —

your thoughts were cut off by her honey voice yet again once you hear her laugh ring in your ears. she laughs at your attempt to flirt even in such a state, but she replies nonetheless. "just call me chelsea. so tell me, what has made you so stressed, that you have to take about 5 or more shots of alcohol at once? are you a divorcee or a widow? work problems?", she asks you, curious to see if she's able to help you. what a kind beautiful lady. "the last one you just said", you managed to let out, and averted eye contact to not look at her. "i'm a failed novelist... ugh. i can't even get any of my works to be a hit. it's always just a 2-digit-amount of people reading them. i'm not saying i'm ungrateful, i just wish it was more popular." you sounded so exhausted, so worn out, and so stressed. chelsea felt bad, and she was trying to think of a way to console you.

then an idea came in. "how about this", you turn your head around to look at her again once she said that. "i'm quite rich, and i have a big social media platform as well. i could promote your works for you so your works can do numbers", your eyes lit up at that sentence, "but in exchange, i get you." then your eyes widened. confused on what she meant. "you get me in exchange...?" you were baffled. "yes, meaning i get to have a one night stand with you... or you can even just be mine straight away~" she smirks, looking at you dead in the eye. at that moment you noticed her eyes are filled with lust and desire.

oh that sentence, that smirk, the way those eyes look at you, you were sobered up. the bustling sound of chatting and laughing of other bar customers goes deaf in your ears, you're only focused on this pink haired woman and the loud beating of your heart. why is your heart beating so fast do you have arrhythmia? "so, what do you say?", she asks you again, and all the thoughts are running in your head. this might be a bad idea... but your co workers don't have to know, right? i mean, you're tempted. tempted to make your works a hit, and tempted to spend a night with this beautiful, enchanting woman.

at last, you decided to go with the latter, and accept her offer. "... okay. i'll accept that exchange." you hesitantly said, and all you see is a wolf-like smile infront of you. you can't deny that the way she looks at you is kinda... turning you on. "good girl." you flushed at that sentence. you look like the equivalent of a tomato right now. she called you a good girl? oh fuck you could even get on your knees for this woman.

"give me a copy of one of your best works, and i'll read it when i'm home. after that, i'll tell you if i like it and promote it for you. but you'll have to give me your number first so i can let you know how it goes," she winks, she is a woman of her word indeed. "if it turns out to be successful, then i can give you my address and you can come over... after all, our exchange can't be one sided, right? ♡" you were still blushing, but i mean... popular works? money? pretty girlfriend? you were more than happy to comply. you two exchanged numbers, and luckily you coincidentally brought your best work in your bag to read it when you get home, so you gave her your book, which was about a highschool slowburn romance, the characters are too happy so expect them to be doomed by the narrative because you're evil just like that lmao. you told her she didn't have to worry, as this is just a copy and you have all your original works at home.

she took the book, and you said "i'll be waiting for the results then, tell me if you like it and if you're able to promote it", you laugh sheepishly, kind of embarrassed how a beautiful woman is helping you and not you helping the beautiful woman instead. "of course, i'll read it in my free time and tell you how it goes~," she says in a sultry, flirtatious tone. you could only laugh nervously. "get home safely now," she leans in close to you to give you a peck on the cheek, and it left a faint red lipstick stain. you couldn't even talk at all, you were left shocked, baffled, flustered, shy, embarrassed, confused. girlfailure moment

✧༺♡༻✧

almost 2 weeks have passed, and you were procrastinating in your room because it was your day off. you were playing games, reading books and eating. at this moment you're watching a show of your choice on netflix on your laptop, but alas your peaceful moment was disturbed by a loud buzzing from your phone. "who the hell is calling me?", you said, clearly annoyed because whoever is calling you just ruined your netflix and chill time. probably your best friend or a co worker ready to bother you.

but the name you see on your phone is "chelsea", so you just had to pause your show because you just knew it was about your novel. you hesitantly answered the phone, and the first thing you hear is "hey cutie, i just finished reading your book", she says through the phone, and you swallow, scared of how she thinks of it. "... and i have to say, your writing is quite impressive, the way you organize the storyline and give your characters so much personality," you smile at the compliment, though she can't see it, so you say "really?", hoping she hears how happy you are.

"yes, so it's safe to say i can promote your name and your work on my social media. but even so if i ended up not liking it, my interest for you would have not gone away anyways." she says, followed with an attractive giggle that has your heart going crazy. but you're very ecstatic nonetheless, because you know your works are about to get popular after she promotes it. yes bitch get that bag

"thank you for helping me, i really appreciate it. i'm sorry i had to trouble you over my own work problems." you answer her, apologetic for dragging her into your personal matters. "don't worry about it baby, i'm happy to help. but please do remember..."

"that if you want to pay me back, then you'd have to pay back with you, and only you."

you remembered the exchange you had with her. and you become red, whether it's about the pet name, or the agreement you guys had. "oh, right... uhm, what do you want me to do then? come over?", you asked. "yes. that's exactly what i want. i'll text you my address. i'll be waiting, hot stuff~", and that's where you know you're going to have the time of your life. whew

✧༺♡༻✧

you finally arrived at her house. damn it was a nice house. 2 storey, clean, shiny and modern, and you can tell theres a pool in the backyard. you check your phone, it's 8:32 PM right now. you knocked on the door 3 times, no answer. you knocked again, another 3 times. then the door swings open, and you're met with those red wine eyes and luscious pink hair again. and you notice that she's wearing one of those... dress-type lingeries. you were sure you were at your last percentage of sanity because of it.

"hey, it's been a while." she gives you a silent giggle. "it certainly has been. well uhm, how have you been? did you post anything about my works?", you asked her, i mean you were eager to know if your work is gonna do numbers and hoping you'll wake up to your works getting sold out by tomorrow. "oh, straight to the point... is your work more important than me?", she answers, clearly sarcastic with the way she immediately laughs right after. you panic slightly, but before you could protest, she talks once again. "don't worry, my post about your book is already going viral, so expect all your works to get sold out tomorrow and your publishing house flourishing overall~"

once you heard that, you were glad you met this woman by a miracle. but oh, you shouldn't forget the deal you made with her. "thank you so much, really. i appreciate it. but so um, about the deal...", you say weakly, heart beginning to pound fast in your chest and you try to avert eye contact with her. but yet again, she always manages to catch your attention, and she pulls your face closer to hers, making you look into her eyes.

"mhm, and you remember what you have to pay with, right?~", she says with her red blood pupils looking right into your (e/c) ones, by now it's obvious how eager she is to devour you whole. you swallow, sweat falling down your neck, and you look flushed. "yes... i guess i shouldn't make our exchange to be one sided."

and with that, she pulls you inside her house, shutting the door and crashes her lips onto yours. she pulls you slowly to her kitchen while sloppily making out with you, and you feel like you're on fire. you want to please this woman, and make her feel so good. you start taking the lead for a bit and push her onto a counter, continuing to make out tongue to tongue with her. she wraps her hand around your shoulders and hair, moaning in between your kisses and grinding on your thigh... and that was when you can tell that she's quite... damp.

"mmhh hah~", she pulls away from the kiss to look at you with hazy eyes, "i want you to... go down on your knees, and eat me out." she manages to let out breathlessly, "i want you to please me, and be a good pet for me." you could only nod quietly. even if it means getting on your knees and barking like a dog just to marry this woman, you would do it anyways.

you slowly get down on your knees while she sits still on top of the counter, spreading her legs to give you easier access. you reach out for the hem of her pantie lingerie, slowly pulling it down. by the moment her pantie reaches her thigh, her pussy juices made a thin bridge with the inside of her pantie, which was an erotic sight for you and turned you on even more. that thin bridge was cut off the moment you pulled her pantie down completely and threw it onto the floor. gripping her thighs and spreading them a little wider, you lean it to give her aching clit a kiss. you earn a shocked gasp from the pink haired woman above you, shuddering the moment you made contact with her pussy.

you lick her slit, going down then up to her clit again and start flicking your tongue on it at a pace that's not too fast, but fast enough to make her throw her head back. she takes ahold of your hair and grips it slightly and whimpering your name, letting you know how good you're making her feel. you decide to push your tongue inside her tight velvety walls, and she almost puts you into a headlock with her milky thighs all because it was too sudden. you thrust your tongue into her in and out, constantly hitting her g spot. "ahmm...! ughmnggh... y-you're doing so good, hah! keep goinggghhngg..", she manages to blurt out weakly, mindlessly grinding her hips to meet your tongue, you can tell she was close from the way her moans started sounding more louder, the grip on your hair tightened and her walls started spasming a lot more than earlier. but you only ended up pulling your tongue out last minute and you were greeted with a disappointed whine. "why did you do that?", she looks at you, face so fucked out, but she's still a little angry even in a state like this.

you smirked at her, and went back down to kiss her clit and flick your tongue on it. she went back to moaning and whimpering, but what she didn't expect is you shoving a finger inside her and slowly thrusting it in and out, receiving a choked moan from her. you added another finger inside, and curled them. chelsea lets out a loud cry and her breathing starts getting more ragged and unstable, her thighs starting to shake uncontrollably. "ah! mmpleaseeee pleasepleasepleaseplease— fasterrrrhngmnhhh...", and the constant chanting of your name was all you could hear until she started squirting all over, onto your face and to the floor. at this point, the countertop was dripping wet with her juices, and it's slippery. one wrong move, she could accidentally fall down and injure herself. you wait for her to calm down from her high, getting up and holding her by the waist to stable her.

leaning into her neck and giving her kisses, relishing in the her rose scented perfume, mixed along with the smell of sweat and sex. she snakes her hand up to your neck, and kisses you, soft and chaste. pulling back, she could only say "i didn't know you were skilled like that... you really did good, cutie ♡", and you give her a promising smile, one that made her heart flutter and look at you with hearts in her eyes.

© 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗲𝗲𝘂𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗮𝗻. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹, 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁.

another a/n: finally i'm done!! one of my longest fics yet... let me know if i made any mistakes or my writing was too long, sloppy or rushed. once again it's my first time making smut, sorry if i disappointed you! :( i'll do better next time ❤

#path to nowhere #ptn #countess chelsea #countess chelsea x reader #chelsea x reader #countess chelsea ptn #ptn x reader #ptn headcanons #path to nowhere x reader #chelsea smut #countess chelsea smut #ptn smut #path to nowhere smut

[swervdcity-arc]

hi hii i love you all. just wanted to drop an activity/life update on the dash since ive been almost radio silent. by no means do you have to read all of it, but just know i might not be online for a bit until i get my shit together! if inactivity bothers u at all, feel free to hardblock me if you so desire. tw for drug abuse, substance abuse, self harm.

ive struggled with substance abuse problems for a big part of my life, almost ALWAYS exacerbated by anxiety and my chronic stomach problems. i was clean from painkillers for almost 8 months (give or take) and i relapsed this week. i talked with my partner about it and weve already discussed plans of action, but so far, ive been good for the past 4 days so thats a winnnn.

i can already feel a MASSIVE difference in my body since. i've been trying my best to keep myself healthy these past couple of days, and at the least feel like a living person, and its really fucking difficult. i dont have a lot going on for me rn, so theres not much i can do to distract myself. i did hang out with one of my long time besties last night and had a blast, so that was really really awesome.

i have a support system, i'm safe, and i know from here its back to the uphill battle. it can feel really really bleak, and its honestly been incredibly embarrassing to even acknowledge a relapse or that i had a problem in the first place. but im really grateful that i'm truly in a place and surrounded by people who care for me and want to see me get better.

if ive been super silent lately, this is why. i try to tend to me relationships the best i can, because i do care for them truly, and i love chatting with my tumblr besties. ive just been exhausted and havent had the capacity to even say "heyyy im going thru it im going dark for a bit." but please know im not ghosting you or anything, i just havent had the brain power to say whats going on.

i will be here though! soon! when i feel better and capable of doing so! i wont lie, i LOVE writing here even though it kicks my ass sometimes. its become such an important creative outlet for me, and despite the Problems, i feel safe and happy in my community. i love writing with yall, i love the people with make up and making them kiss, i love reading and writing lore. its really important to be as a hobby, so you definitely will see me back.

i might pop on the dash every now and then to say hi and yell about stuff, i might draft sum shit up soon, but im going to be prioritizing getting my shit together for the time being.

xoxo godsip girl

#tw: drug abuse #tw: drug mention #tw: substance abuse #if theres anything else i need to tag please let me know #ooc

[simpjaes]

OH! AND I FORGOT TO TELL U THAT I ALSO WANT TO START WRITING FF BUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW, CAN I GET SOME TIPS PLS 😭

-🌊

omg i def encourage others to write!! I'll do my best with tips but I've been doing it for so long that honestly it just kinda comes naturally for me at this point, so ill do my best!

first tip: decide on whether you want to be more free in your writing or more controlled. I switch between the two. For instance I'll have an idea and simply write from a single start point and let the writing and story in my head take me where ever, with no outline or guidance outside of a general idea, and I write until im satisfied with a good end point.

if you want to be controlled, I'd suggest writing an outline. it doesn't need to be super detailed, but mine do tend to be...lmaoooo, like for instance frenzy was VERY loosely outlined, and i mean like, i had like 6 sentences as the outline and a bunch of screenshotted texts from oomf, and that's literally it.

then like, this is me being very specific and controlled: lmao, look at this outline of a fic i've been working on for like a year and a half for my other blog:

so in that outline, literally every line you see there has THOUSANDS of tinier outlines for each chapter, day, and scene. i mean the outline itself is 32k words. and all of this was birthed from a single sentence idea in my head.

it really just depends on how much effort you want to put into writing. no one sees behind the scenes of it, so how you go about planning and progress is up to you and no one can judge you for it (ill kick them in the neck if they got shit to say)

man, this probably isn't making sense. this is probably why im so bad at training people in workplaces lol

anyway

second tip: do NOT worry about word count. Some of us are picky, me included, meaning i don't usually give a fic the time of day if it's under a certain word count unless under certain circumstances. this does not mean the fics i won't read are bad, it's just preference. but you need to be prepared to face the fact that some people will love your fic, and some will scroll right past it.

third tip: make banners and visuals. format your post so it is easy for your readers to find the information they need before reading it. such as warnings etc. this is also to gain interest, specifically so people can choose whether to read it or scroll away. (my marketing background comes into play help)

fourth tip: write a small description of the whole fic before you even write it. like try to sum all of it up in a way that anyone can understand, and alter it or rewrite it once you finish if you need to change it based on how the story actually came out. I find this super helpful to stay on track and to also get a really good starting point. this is why i always have spoilers or a small preview of my wips. even if they are changed by the time i post them.

fifth tip: don't stress. some of the best advice i ever got is to write like only you will read it, and post it like you'll get no notes or feedback at all. this is where passion drives you as a writer, and you become able to write whatever the fuck you want and don't panic at the fact that other people may not like it, or may have some shit to say. more often than not, people will read it. you need to have fun with it, it's not a job, it's a hobby.

we are writing for free, so do NOT cater to people who don't know you. you don't owe them any part of yourself or your growth as a writer, it is a privilege for them to read something you write, not the other way around :)

and LASTLY, don't steal ideas. if you are inspired by someone else, ask them, credit them. this includes writing fics based on someone else's hard thots, and even writing fics based on whore convos you might have with friends. always ask if the idea comes from someone else, especially if you have easy access to them.

#🌊 anon #ask #fic talk #tips

[olderthannetfic]

Alright I got kinda a bananas questions for you, but how much time do you think should be divided up between work, hobbies and people. Actually wait more specifically what do you think is a good goal to just sit down and do work, but like actually doing work. Like sitting down for 90 minutes and finishing something not working on said thing for 5 hours then finish it. Over the past couple years I kinda erm, just sorta stopped? My mental health has steadily going to shit and covid fucked that all to hell and I was spending so much time in what was essentially a state of panic(didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s essentially what was happening) that I was too exhausted to do anything and just kind of stopped. I didn’t realize it the time but now that I’m finally getting better Ive noticed how little I was doing and how doing little really negatively effects me. Its become a good marker for me to check that I’ve been actually painting, seeing friends, going for a swim but sometimes it still all goes belly up and I’m trying to figure out what is a good goal.(and whats a good marker for when fucking up) Like a realistic long term goal I can strive for and keep track of. I could real easily just say “go for a swim everyday” but that feels unrealistic. In fact I put exercise in same spot as painting so it would be more like “do hobby for an hour a day” but even that feels like a lot. The thought of that feels exhausting so at least for me it should probs be do hobby thing at least 5 times week. Big goal is to swim 3 times and paint twice or vice a versa. its just hard to do that and then I’ll feel like crap and then notice that I haven’t exercised at all for 8 days and I just don’t move around enough to do that. I’m like a dog or walking house plant that needs to go outside and move around for sunshine and blood flow otherwise I start to physically and mentally feel awful. Its just hard to notice you know? Ugh its annoying because there’s so much shit. Its not just that I need some kinda exercise I also need to do some kinda hobby thing for me and other shit that I like to do. And that isn’t even including the work I need to do. I wasn’t even working before I cannot express enough how much of “doing nothing” I was doing. I’m doing better know with meds and therapy and what not and it is helping but I’ll still get home at 7 and just look at my phone and do some combo of read fanfictin/ play sudoko till I get tired and fall asleep. Then I wake up and shocking, I’m still on bullshit. Sometimes its feels to much to shower (at least with that one I know that I can get away with one at most 2 days with out shower so if I didn’t shower the day before I can mostly just force myself into the shower) that’s what I’m trying to figure out for everything else so I can look at my self force my self to stop looking at phone and paint a shitty flower or something. I was doing pretty good but The other week I house sitter for a friend and was immediately back on bullshit. I barely left her apartment the entire time I was there I’m sure that if I actually went to class, got exercise, painted (I brought all my paints then did fuck all) I would have been able to get more work done. I think Im only actually productive when I’m actually getting up and doing crap. I’m in a contact state of “working” and doing nothing but time is moving forward. I have no idea what this anon is. Ugh whatever I’ll submit it anyway

TL;DR trying to be better at actually do stuff and not doing fuck all. Any idea on what’s a good goal to strive for and what’s a good marker for shits getting fuck go for a walk

--

Social time is going to be extremely variable. I'm an extrovert and thus lots of social time is no problem. I also do okay not seeing people though as long as I'm busy.

Exercise should be prioritized above most other things, much as I hate this. You should be doing something basically every day. I agree that swimming is likely not realistic on that schedule, but maybe a walk around the block? It sucks, but forcing yourself to get off your ass every day will help with the rest of it. Also, exercise that takes you out of the house, even if only briefly, requires that you put on clothes, which is also helpful.

Get off of social media. If you're having trouble managing things, now is the time to take a break from anything that involves doom scrolling and time just disappearing.

(I say from my bed where I'm wearing the dirty sweatshirt I slept in and no pants while answering asks instead of working on my next novel. Hmm...)

It's obviously important to you to prioritize painting, but I see the difficulty there: you have to get set up and clean up afterwards, and you can't leave paints sitting around or they dry out. I'd try to schedule one longer session per week for now. If you have something else like sketching, you can schedule more frequent shorter sessions because that's easier to pick up and put down without a lot of prep/cleanup.

I do find little morning rituals like making tea helpful. They pry me out of bed and add some structure to my day.

[queendeeshorrorimagines]

October 25th: Phone Sex

Rusty nail x reader

Gender neutral reader

Warnings: established relationship, Dirty talk, morally grey reader (reader knows about rusty's hobby and kinda supports it), pet names on Rustys end

It was rough being in a relationship like the one you're in. Between the long distances that your husband drives for his trucking job and his pass time hobby of giving justice to whoever he deemed deserves it, it gave you a long time to be by yourself at your shared farmhouse.

You've done things to keep yourself busy like your job as a server at the local diner and tending the garden you started during the spring time. But there's times where you want to see Rusty again and to have him with you. But you know that he always comes back to you every time.

The house phone rings, showing Rusty's phone number. You ran towards the counter quickly, answering the phone.

"Hello, Darlin."

Rusty spoke, his voice sounded a bit tired mixed with a bit of excitement to be able to be able to talk to you.

"Hey Rusty, how are you doing?"

It was easy for Rusty to tell that you were excited to hear from him. He knew that you deserved a better man than him, a man that isn't gone for weeks at a time for work. But you stayed with him through it all.

"I'm done for the day. I'm going to be back home in a couple days... damn I miss ya."

You hear him groan softly after saying the last part. Your heart rate picks up at the sound of that.

"I miss you too. So much... I can't wait for you to be home so that I could show you how much I missed ya."

His breath hitches slightly from just the thought of coming home to you and giving you what you both needed.

"Really, baby? I can't wait to fuck you for being my good little house spouse."

You could hear sounds of skin hitting skin and Rusty's breathing getting heavier.

"Same here, I can't wait to take your cock. Fuck, I can't wait to feel you fucking me like im your personal fuck toy."

You joined in on touching yourself, the sounds of his moans and grunts caused you to become more aroused by the whole situation.

"Darlin, such a perfect lover for me, I can't wait to fucking see you in person and hear those pretty moans in person"

His voice became even more raspy as his hand moved faster up and down his cock. You matched his pace as your moans became louder.

"Same here, Rusty."

You moaned out as he let out a loud grunt before his movements slowed down. A faint 'shit' could be heard from him as you finished yourself off a few moment after him.

"I really miss you, I can't wait to see you soon"

He panted as you took a few deep breaths yourself.

"I miss you too. Rusty. I love you."

#queendees kinktober 2022 #kinktober 2022: day twenty five #rusty nail x reader #rusty nail imagines #rusty nail imagine #gender neutral reader #slasher imagines #slashers imagines #dees lemonade

[signedkoko]

hai!!!! i'm here 2 request a romantic hazbin hotel matchup :3

(i'm genuinely so sorry if this isn't detailed enough i'm really bad at details and i'm also very unserious)

Call me lux, lucia or vii! i'm a bigender (does this count as male??) fella and i kiss boys i'm a boy kisser and i'm an ISTP and a scorpio!!! and i'm chinese by the way

FASHION/APPEARANCE: i have like shoulder length black hair with red streaks, and i'm around 5'2 i believe? and i wear a lot of heavy eyeliner lol

in terms of fashion style, i'd say i'm pretty jirai kei or goth in general, i go through a lot of eyeliner, and i'm a big fan of the color maroon and pink!!

OVERALL PERSONALITY: i have a resting bitch face so it's easy for a lot of people to assume i'm silently judging everyone around me like an edgelord, when in reality i'm probably thinking about something really fucking dumb like "what if the universe is donut shaped?" i'm the type of person to blurt out something really dumb in the middle of a conversation. i'm an impulsive and spontaneous person, but only once you get to know me. otherwise i'm really introverted and will unintentionally glare at people if i find them interesting. i can tolerate most people, until they just start becoming straight up offensive jerks.

INTERESTS/LIKES: i have a lot of different interests and hobbies, like insect taxidermy, coding, i play the piano and cello, i do chinese opera, wushu, badminton, knitting, baking, and im really into digital art and animation! im also a really big music person, (MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED WAS AROUND 150k MINUTES!! THATS ABOUT 104 DAYS!!!) im really into bossa nova, edm, 80e goth, breakbeat, and heavy metal :D i don't get much sleep, don't need much sleep to keep me going. i also like my coffee double double (which is canadian for 2 cream 2 sugar.) or black. ALSO LOVE SOUR CANDY AND SPICY FOOD! i have a super high spice tolerance and will gladly eat my friends food if it's too spicy for them. my favourite food is hotpot!

FLAWS/DISLIKES: sometimes i have a hard time taking things seriously, and i don't really have a filter, so a lot of the time im brutally honest or i slip up and start insulting people BUT IM REALLY TEYING NOT TO DO THAT ANYMORE!!! i also have a tendency to gossip, but only to select people i know won't spill the secret to anyone else. i'm not a fan of busy and loud environments, sudden loud noises, and people who are generally uncool and jerks, but i can pretty much tolerate anyone else

IM SO SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO LONG OR LACKED DETAIL I JUST KINDA YAPPED ON AND ON!!! MAKE SURE TO TAKE BREAKS AND STAY AWESOME I LOVE YOUR WORK!!! :3

You got...Angel Dust!

It's good that you like pink and maroon because this spider is covered in it! Angel loves all things soft and pink, which also describes you! He's extremely fashionable and adores yours, even if it leans towards a more 'darl' aesthetic than his. 

If anyone can handle a resting bitch face, it's this guy. Both of you can seem really intimidating to others, which melts away the moment the two of you laugh or talk about anything. It's visible how much you melt around each other, especially Angel. Once he's in your company, he just wants to chill and hear you talk. 

One thing Angel does make fun of you for is your spectrum of music. He is super into edm and excitable music, and knowing you are too only makes it funny when your playlist switches from bossa nova to heavy metal. Overall, Angel isn't very picky about music, and hearing you play instruments starts to loosen him up to softer, gentler varieties. 

The demon has an insatiable sweet tooth; he loves all things candy and all things sweet. Often, when you two go out, you'll switch things on your plates for the other's preference. Angel gets a lot of candy as 'gifts' and will give you anything sour or spicy out of the mix. Of course, if anything is too sweet for you, Angel is more than happy to snatch it for himself! 

If you ever take Angel out for hotpot, it'd need to have a mild section of broth at least! He would die using the spicy broth, but at least this way you can both enjoy it together!

Expect matching outfits or themes, tasting each other's food a lot, and Angel requesting that you play songs for him to sing along with all the time.

Authors Note - I do matchups for male readers!! So its totally cool either way. Also I found this so funny, I am canadian and I also drink double double + I lived in China (Chengdu + Beijing) for a handful of months as a teen. I had so much hotpot but I am so bad with spice it killed me 🤭 Thank you for requesting!

#koko writez #hazbin hotel matchups #helluva boss matchups

[dscombobulate]

i realize i have been quiet about the patreon doxxing thing because never in my life did i ever think something so horrible could actually happen in the sims 4 community, but i am slowly returning and so here we go.

it's honestly so disappointing what this community of creators have become. i've been creating cc since 2017 (but been around before then) and it's never been this bad. fuck it i'll say it: yall give cc creators a bad name. the sims 4 was meant to be a community where we all shared our talents and skills with each other, and now people use it as a way to literally put people's lives on danger? what the fuck. as someone who got doxxed in the past, that shit tormented me and my anxiety. i did not feel safe for months. NO ONE should ever have to go through that.

a big reason why i've been so inactive the past two years was because i hated creating cc for a while. all these HIGH POLY CONVERSIONS OF MESHES THEY DON'T EVEN OWN that are definitively locked behind paywalls made me feel weird and distant from the community. as a minority, we have amazing creators here making their own meshes, correcting tags, adding custom thumbnails, making everything perfect, and for free too; then on the other hand, the majority are greedy people who are making a fuck ton doing the absolute bare minimum? literally convert, publish, and call it a day. good job, i guess?

anyways. i'll be back around august. i just need to say this disclaimer, my new downloads platform will be on patreon because 1) simfileshare is problematic asf 2) google drive is my backup with limited storage and 3) patreon is the safest option i found. HOWEVER, i will NEVER lock my content behind paywalls or adflys, and i highly doubt i'll be doing early access because creating cc is a hobby for me. im still thinking about whether or not i'll continue doing private commissions, but my paypal [and soon enough patreon] is still up for donations. anyway, thank you so much for sticking with me, both updated and new content coming soon, i'll see you all then.

#sorry for the rant #update #the sims 4 #ts4

[pesterloglog]

Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley

Candy, page 15

GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

JOHN: oops???

ROXY: its fine gamz

ROXY: accidents happen

ROXY: um

ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today

ROXY: wow now that im up here its like

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i have no idea what to say

ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say

ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider

ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it

ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing

ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess

ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did

ROXY: so im just gonna say that

ROXY: im glad that he was in my life

ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

DAVE: hey guys

DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real

DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now

DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves

DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything

DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head

DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby

DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta

DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess

DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink

DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this

DAVE: i used to do that a lot

DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth

DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood

DAVE: not gonna go into details but

DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault

DAVE: not this specific version of him

DAVE: the one i grew up with was a

DAVE: a

DAVE: he was

DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead

DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful

DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid

DAVE: or

DAVE: raising a kid in general

DAVE: i was more like his disciple

DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever

DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with

DAVE: you know

DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person

DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it

DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works

DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c

DAVE: who knows with him

DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option

DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it

DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant

DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy

DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you

DAVE: well not intentionally i mean

DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro

DAVE: im over that

DAVE: like as much as you can get over it

DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire

DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like

DAVE: shit dude

DAVE: i feel great

DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??

DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life

DAVE: etc

DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk

DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane

DAVE: and like just chill with him

DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue

DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him

DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life

DAVE: which i did

DAVE: but despite that i

DAVE: i looked up to him

DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro

DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt

DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him

DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth

DAVE: but im glad he didnt

DAVE: he taught me about combat

DAVE: philosophy

DAVE: life

DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice

DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too

DAVE: so in the end

DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now

DAVE: but thats probably ok right

DAVE: like its ok

DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies

DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers

DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that

DAVE: but hes not

DAVE: so

DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that

ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give

ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point

ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void

ROXY: as many as we fuckin can

GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.

GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.

GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.

GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!

GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.

GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.

GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)

GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(

GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:

GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.

KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.

GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.

GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.

GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...

GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.

GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!

GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.

GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.

GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...

ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!

ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!

ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!

GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.

ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)

ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)

JAKE: Gulp! Uh...

ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)

JAKE: Oh... Okay.

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!

ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)

JOHN: uhh, hi guys!

DAVE: hey

KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.

JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.

JOHN: dave, are you ok?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well no

DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think

DAVE: so for once i think im having like

DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing

DAVE: which loops around back to being ok

DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively

JOHN: are you SURE?

KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: because i was thinking...

JOHN: do you... want me to go back?

DAVE: go

DAVE: back??

JOHN: with my retcon powers.

JOHN: i could go back and stop him.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: JOHN!

JOHN: what!

KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?

JOHN: what!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: come on what are my powers

JOHN: ummm... time travel?

DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea

JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.

JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?

DAVE: ehhh well actually

JOHN: but!

JOHN: if i retcon it...

JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!

JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.

DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.

JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are

DAVE: oh yeah be right there

JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??

KARKAT: YES! GOD!

KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!

JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby

JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes

JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???

KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!

DAVE: john

DAVE: i get what you were trying to do

DAVE: but

DAVE: its ok dude

DAVE: im ok

JOHN: that’s weird...

JOHN: it was working just the other day.

ROXY: lmao john its just me

ROXY: doin ok up there b?

JOHN: i’m fine!!!

JOHN: wait. b?

ROXY: yea like short for babe

ROXY: cuz ur my babe b

JOHN: oh, haha. right.

ROXY: is dave ok?

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: are YOU okay?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: yea

ROXY: actually

ROXY: im more than ok

ROXY: cause ive been thinking

JOHN: oh?

ROXY: about you n me

ROXY: and this

ROXY: hey john

ROXY: we should get hitched

JOHN: ummmmmm...

JOHN: um...

JOHN: ...what???

ROXY: um what WHAT?

ROXY: john cmon

ROXY: marry me

JOHN: like...

JOHN: right NOW?

ROXY: lmao totes

ROXY: were already at the church n everything

JOHN: o-oh my god.

JOHN: oh my god!

ROXY: john

JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??

ROXY: no LOL

ROXY: john u take everything so literally

ROXY: its fuckin adorbs

JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit

ROXY: and i gotta even all that out

ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment

ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest

ROXY: its cute as fuck and also

ROXY: i always know where i stand with you

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: sides this whole

ROXY: THING with dirk

ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal

ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever

ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love

JOHN: you...

JOHN: LOVE me??

ROXY: yea john i love you

ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you

JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.

JOHN: that’s a LOT.

ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn

ROXY: just know its on the table

JOHN: i...

JOHN: i...

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!

ROXY: ooo u want to do it??

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: er... i mean...

JOHN: um, yeah. that too.

JOHN: but i meant...

JOHN: about the getting married thing.

JOHN: let’s... do that!

JOHN: let’s totally get married!!

ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #gamzee makara #john egbert #roxy lalonde #dave strider #karkat vantas #jake english #jade harley #candy epilogue #page 15

[soapiemomorphine]

2012 Tmnt yakuza au cont, ‘,;)

The first is here,

Aftermath

So don and raph realized they kinda fucked up whoops

With Casey and Mona’s help they make a pizza and cake as an apology

“ Look Mikey” Raph twiltled with his thumbs in a nervous gesture as he shifts from foot to foot, “ I can’t take back what I said,”

“Or what we haven’t said,” Donnie’s face is red stained with tears and his eyes shine with unshed tears

“But we’re sorry,” Ralph’s voice breaks under the weight of guilt, “ and you deserve better than a couple of bums for brothers”

“And I’m so sorry that you didn’t see what you were going through because of my own dumb-dumb brain, of course you were going though the same grief and I am so sorry that I’m a terrible older brother-,” Donnie’s breathes come out shaken as he hiccups and sniffles.

But he’s stopped by Raph and Donnie nearly being knocked over with the speed Mikey had tackled them into a tight bear hug.

“ I know” Mikey sniffles into Ralph’s shoulder, “ I know”

And for the third time, Raph just breaks down.

He tries to silence what’s starts as small trails of tears down his cheeks but it’s hard with Donnie’s chocked wails and Mikey openly sobbing.

Raph joins them as they huddle each other, for the first time im since they were 15, they were just scared little kids with only themselves for comfort.

It’s impossible to say how long they stayed on the floor- a minute? 10 minutes? An hour? Because they hugged each other for as long as they could, until there were no tears left to cry, until there wasn’t enough water in their bodies, until what felt like eternity.

After that they all went to therapy!

Now they are quite literally closer than ever

They have almost all meals together, except for the dates Mona and Raph, and Donnie and Casey have

They were close before when they were younger; but that was in a sibling way; they way you are close with ur siblings when you are both young and forced to be in the same house; you fight each other and annoy each other but you still love each other at the end of the day

But now it’s different; they are close in the way veterans are close, they share the same trauma and the same grief and now they willingly spend the rest of their days together

And they were planning to spend it like retired veterans lol; no jobs rlly, cooking nice meals that take hours, finding new calming hobbies,(knitting, piano, baking, playing cards, all that old ppl shit lmao)going to the park, volunteering at animal shelters, feeding strays

Old domestic shit

But remember when raph in his grief was beating up yakuza members?

Yeah those bitches don’t forget easily

Whoopsie, the hamato fam is now on a gangs hitlist what else is new?

Some of the members who got their asses sorely kicked by raph wanna become his disciple

Raph doesn’t give two shits ab them

“BOSS!” “Get tf off my porch before I kick ur ass-again”

Mikey sees them, and is all, “Raph don’t be meeeaaannn!”

He feed the teenagers

When the yakuza tries to beat the hamato family’s asses

They failed severely

The punk teenagers in the area then start to look up to the hamato family

However, raph and Mona are unapproachable, Donnie is impossible to find, Casey doesn’t speak Japanese; so the one all the wannabe gangsters approach is Mikey lol

Gangsters aren’t the only ones who look up to the hamatos

Families that ever are in trouble with other yakuza are all like; “🥺 mikey-san, these men are beating up my sons and asking for money,”

And much like in The Godfather and in Goncharov they became know as a family that can do favors for good people

And the local punk teenagers began to treat Mikey like their boss

And that’s how the Hamato family-completely on accident- became a yakuza gang! 🥳

-first- -next(not yet posted)-

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #tmnt leo 2012 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt mikey #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt yakuza au #tmnt raphael #tmnt raph #tmnt mona lisa #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donnie #casey jones #jonatello #tmnt casey jones #tmnt aged up #tmnt au #my au #dead Leonardo #a mention of goncharov #just cause #please read #🥺 #morphinetalks

[enrapture]

Since I’ve failed to keep in touch on certain social medias like this one that I used to be on all the time, I wanted to do a lil update.

I will try to make this as short as I can. (I failed)

I’ve been taking time to reevaluate, work through, come to an understanding and acceptance of certain things. Trying to change within myself & ask myself questions and take my time figuring things out as I tend to be my own worst critic. Trying to move more with love, openness, respect, understanding and honesty are the core elements I desire in life. I will not settle for less but at the same time I will remember that imperfections make us human. No one, thing, is perfect. Everyone fucks up. It’s okay. everyone goes at their own pace in life unless chosen otherwise. Obv depends on the situation but yeah. Moving on… I feel like if I don’t say what comes to mind I’ll forget and it will eat at me if I don’t talk about it or I’ll remember it later and then I’ll talk about it but now it’s too late and it’s considered out of context and then I’m looked at like HUH. So yeah I’m a bit of a mess. LOL.

God I say so much detailed shit that makes 0 sense lmao. This is all a jumbled mess but go on keep reading if you give a shit. ily, for those that take the time to get me, understand my scattered thought brain. You’re dope. Thank you. Anyway, It’s all about within yourself. Feeling your feelings. Experiencing things and surrounding yourself with similar <good> natured people. With Happiness blooms in the bones so to speak. Just doing. Just being. Just flowing. So it goes. Figuring out what I want out of life currently, the people I want to be surrounded by, and work on my mental health. Work on things because I want to and try to become a better person overall. (Speaking of mental, mine hasn’t at all been the best or the easiest this year. taking it one day at a time. Is the nicest way I can put it.Adhd/Depression/anxiety are difficult to juggle.) I know as time goes by life won’t be easy. Trying to accept that. realizations can be impactful. Making actual decisions instead of procrastinations as well as learn and practice accepting things for how they are. For what they were. And not make excuses. I’m working on a lot haha. I’m <trying> to get back into various hobbies such as (art, writing, poetry, photography) as of late all I’ve been doing is working, planning for New York, going out and about, watching films/shows, listening to music, once in a blue moon playing video games (im waiting on my monitor to come in since mine just stopped working for no reason. It’s a Samsung thing HAHA just trust, I’m not the only one it happened to unfortunately) and reading with my time.

For those who don’t know I’m visiting New York for the first time in two weeks and I’m (most likely) moving there in the beginning of the year. Maybeeeee around my birthday (Jan 28th) I dunno yet as of current. But Im thinkin about going to school sometime after everything is settled. I’m taking some time to figure out what I want to do rn. I know I want to take a few classes in art, do something in regards with cinema, maybe do somethin with coding/graphic design??? Idk I have a few things in mind. I just need to take time after running around like a madman getting the house ready/myself ready, work currently and work on balance 🤍🖤 try to not be up in the clouds too long ya feel? I’ve got goals and I’m working at em one day at a time. :,) it’s hard but I think it will all work out in the way it will and it will all make sense eventually. For the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful.

It’s a new start. A new beginning. I’m nervous/excited. More growing, learning shitsy shits to do~

Authenticity is sexy. Consideration. Reciprocation. Communication & understanding is sexy. Taking the time to figure yourself out as well as others is sexy. The realization of truly Highs and lows - flaws and growth not being stuck in one or the other for too long despite them are sexier.

Romanticize •positivity• into your life.

And if you’re going through shit, know that it will work itself out soon. Easier said than done, but it will. Everything will make sense in time. Give yourself that time. 💛

As someone who’s been through a lot of unspeakable but some speakable hell, who gets it, trust me you’re meant to be here.

If there’s a sign, this is it.^ stay. Continue on. But yeah update Im probably most likely moving LMAO.

Okay, Phew.

#mine #tbh #personal #thoughts #update

[system-of-a-feather]

Testosterone Rambles

So we started T like four or five months ago if I'm right and bottom dysphoria help was pretty much #1 goal above all else, followed by muscle mass and general moderate body / face / mass / fat reallocation, and everything else was expected to be neutral to maybe positive cause Nonbinary and PCOS pretty much made most of them already stuff we had going on.

Of all things, we originally weren't all that interested in having a lower voice because we were already pretty androgynous depending on which part was out - Ray regularly tested as primarily male - and we were were contratenor / tenor range in singing plus, due to previous training and our active intent to practice, were able to hit some high soprano notes with proper right warm up; so we weren't really worried about our voice and if anything were a bit worried cause we had a thick range that we were somewhat proud in

But holy shit the sheer amount of which our voice has TANKED and the joy of regularly testing it against music whenever on a car ride with my fiance has really been one of the small HUGE excitements and highlights of my day to day life. Cause only four or five months in and I am a solid fucking base with my lowest comfortable not-shit sounding note being a F#2 and I only like, started having voice cracks like earlier this month and I'm just literally sitting here thinking I'm playing limbo with my own voice cause like my BOY how LOW can you GO.

Like as it is I already perfectly match my cismale fiance who sits between baritone and bass himself pretty easily and I'm just like, looking at most reports, papers, and studies saying that the voice doesn't usually stablize until like 9 months and Im like BRO

Like I KNOW I had a really deep voice "for a woman" but what the fuck vocal chords XD Yall were fucking ready to go down Marianna's Trench holy shit XD

I'm not at all mad though. Cause singing and choir have always been a passive hobby since I could never find time in my schedule to fit it in with my other extracurriculars, but when we were really young we were active in choir and have since regularly made time and effort to unapologetically sing and maintain both ends of our range. While our voice is just changing like the weather, I'm holding off from even bothering with upper range to let it rest, but it's been just as fun if not more fun to just regularly check what we can comfortably do in depth just as it was to raise / maintain a higher range during puberty 1.0.

But like literally, since starting T I actually have passed on the typical "check for changes regularly" oddly enough, but this one I've actually taken to slowly cause its unexpected and fascinating and become like the daily tea on what my vocal chords decided to do today XD

#alter: riku #ftm #ftn #nonbinary #transmasculine #testosterone #hrt

[quietwingsinthesky]

Okay this is like a week or so late but I've been thinking about your tags about how it's fucked up to claim a character you don't like/find boring is cishet because it hinges being queer as something you earn or have revoked, and you talking about how Dean is interesting Because of his flaws... This is like such a minor gripe in the grand scheme of things, but in another fandom there's this character I'll just call E who cheats on his spouse. Then there's another character from the same country, with the same appearance, that goes by a nickname that's E's name, just shorter. I'll call that character U. I met someone who mentioned in all their posts that they didn't think E and U were the same character. I thought maybe there was like, a detail or an interview that I missed, so I asked this person why they thought E and U were different characters. And they kinda danced around it for a while before basically admitting that they think U is hot and didn't want to like a character that cheated on his spouse. Now like obviously to each their own, people can have their opinions, I can't control how people go about fiction, no one is obligated to be super intellectual with fandom hobbies, etc etc. But I've always been really confused about this person's headcanon because isn't it more fun to actually interpret the worldbuilding and themes of fiction, than to essentially lie to yourself so you don't have to think about uncomfortable topics? I really don't think the author of this media setup the premise of 2 characters being almost identical, one explicitly a cheater & the other ambiguous, for no reason. And if you can't engage with the themes in a mature way... Why not just move onto something that's more your speed? I know the answer is hot fictional men, and that's fair, but... It's been a few years since this interaction and it's still mind boggling to me (Also sorry for putting such a big message in your inbox for vague fandom drama 💀 I'd say the name of the characters/media but it's a really small fandom so the person Would find out I was talking shit)

"I know the answer is hot fictional men" is such a good way to put fandom drama. cause, like, end of the day, i'm pretty sure a lot of dean vs sam debates also boil down to 'which one do you want to fuck'. (not all of them but like. sometimes. you can tell.)

so the thing is like. for me, whatever headcanons anyone wants to have? they're fine. I might think they are Very Bad and Weird To Have, as with people declaring they can only see sam as cishet because he's just. so boring. you know, the guy who drank blood on screen and caused the apocalypse a few times and- i digress. But what's starting to become a lot more pervasive in fandom culture and what I find extremely annoying is that people will insist that you have to conform to their headcanons, that if you don't, you're damaging the character or taking something away from them or something. And this gets especially fucked when they start insisting that the headcanon version of the characters overrides the actual characters, rather than engaging with what's happening on screen.

which was probably inevitable, given how people tend to headcanon things about characters that end up very personal. someone disagreeing with a headcanon that's built on projection (which, to be clear, projecting onto a character is not a bad thing, otherwise i'd be a huge hypocrite for saying sam is trans) can feel like a personal attack, and that's gonna put the headcanon-er on the defensive, and. well. it becomes a situation not fun for anyone.

also never apologize for coming into my inbox with vague fandom drama. i love vague fandom drama. i recognize that i am part of the fandom drama problem but im too nosy to stop askdjalkdjs

#ask

[boyfhee]

hi, i hope ure having fun on ur trip! i finally found time to read fair and square!! and im so glad i did!! woahh after my stressful week THIS WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! 

 i could write here all of the amazing moments that happened in the fic, the plot, heeyn interactions the bickering but ofc its just them pinning (kill me i love that in fics), their bet and their kissing(omg omg blush blush) and everything in between that made this SO GODDAMN AMAZING CUZ everything that happened was truly fantastic, i could go into details fr and all that but i wanted to say there is always this one (or even more) part of your work that go kinda beyond the plot in a way, what i mean is there is some universal truth that comes out of specific scene in the fic(s) that

 1) suits the work perfectly

 2) is delivered so well that i have to pause and muse about my life for a sec 

3)its so effortlessly heart twisting (not always in a sad way more like it hits u with this  realization about the way u see world)  and it was strikes me like a whiplash…

in here the conversation between hee and yn about passion (his for basketball and hers for painting) holy fucking shit i read it and i was stunned fr, the connection and its all about timing god……that hit so close to home and MY GOD U KEEP DOING STUFF TO ME OFC LIFE IS ABOUT TIMING, god i hate how fucking good that moment was and then THIS FUCJING LINE

“if your timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life”

………………………….. 

I LOVE U ur brain is soe8rhpqwdkasczx,wfnesdzx wnedsn wow wow wow  IWAS GAGGED OKAY and then hee saying he doesn't want to her to be a closed chapter ??????????????????????*poetic fanfiction cinema meme” do u know how many mental breakdown like this i had  while reading htgbwye  ( lmao it took me like 2 days to read it for the first time)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

i loved this fic so much!it made my heart happy in the best way possible, i enoyed every single word out of this masterpiece

 THANK U FOR THIS !!! thank u  <3 ure amazing like i cannot stress this enough URE AMAZING HAD TO SCREAM IT IN CAPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

                               – >> swift anonie ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

PS. it is definitely not fair and square that ure so… THE BEST EVER :33

MY TRIP WAS FUN YEAH PLS FORGET HOW IM REPLYING SO LATE . ALSO I CANNOT THANK U ENOUGH FOR UR WORDS STFUUU URE SO SWEET AND FOR WHAT 😭😭😭 the kiss scene was hardest to write i wrote it at the very last....gave me butterflies tho 😂☝️AND THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH UMMM i guess i like it when my works have a little meaning to them....maybe....mostly they dont but yeah, im glad u were able to notice it!!!! AND THE WHOLE CONVO AB THEIR HOBBIES IS INSPIRED FROM YOURS TRULY i actually had to give up on piano and painting for meds 😆and now im so scared to pick it up again like im afraid of disappointing myself....too bad i dont have a heeseung to tell me that i can do it again....WELL MOVING ON FROM MY DEPRESSING STORY.

and pls not the breakdowns...im sorry but it's fair bc i had multiple breakdowns while writing it . IT TOOK ME SIX FUCKING MONTHS i almost dropped it five times . almost . im so so glad u like fair and square, tbh not only that but htgbwye as well bc both are very close to my heart, AND NO URE THE BESTEST OF ALL LUV 💗

#—swift anon. #@ : fas.

[rianafying]

a lot of the time i find myself desperately wanting to talk to someone, anyone, my friends my so my sibling anyone. but i don’t reach out to them because im already going through a lot and have too much on my plate to hear about their problems and i take people’s problems personally, and get too deeply affected by other people’s sadness. it’s been this way for a long time now. i do end up talking to them but it’s not how i want it. like i’m not at all saying that they shouldn’t tell me about their problems, they should, but sometimes i wish i could just vent. one sided. just let it all out. i always have to turn to my diary or tumblr to journal it all out. sometimes i wish i could vent to a person. obviously not just anyone, they have to know me well and i have to trust them (she says as she shares intimate details of her life on her very public tumblr blog). it applies when i’m speaking to someone, i need to really trust them to feel comfortable when being vulnerable. the people that are available to listen to me don’t get me. so many criteria gosh maybe i’m the problem. no i’m definitely the problem. but that’s fine. with me. also, i’m not stressed out anymore. i think i tired myself out. i’ve been panicking about the same thing for so long that i just stopped caring at some point. like ok so what. and what about it. which idk if that’s a good or bad thing. definitely feels a lot better. much easier on my heart. i think it’s a good thing. for my mental health. maybe not so much for my grades. like what happened happened. like ok. ??? cool. i did what i could. genuinely could not have done more. i’m an always try my best er. i always try my best. im always giving my most. so. idk what else to say or do or feel about the whole thing. also, fuck olive. i’ve had enough of that. i’m done with his inconsistency and unavailability. like go fuck off. loser behaviour. his flop era. man just can’t keep me happy. sorry MEN just can’t keep me happy. and honestly neither can women. i’m done. i hope i can stay done. for a good while if not forever. like truly be done. so disappointed. honestly, what am i working towards? i know what i need like food money fashion etc wise but what’s the point here? what’s my goal? my previous goal isn’t interesting anymore. my other previous goal is genuinely too ambitious, i’m a laid back person now. genuinely couldn’t be bothered with anything. i do like getting expensive groceries and clothes. is that really what i’m living up to? like just to live a nice life? is that enough to keep me motivated to like stay alive during hard times? don’t i need something more solid? i don’t think i want kids anymore. maybe pets. maybe. too much commitment tbh. definitely not getting married. fun in theory, terrible in practice. i kind of want to just be able to do whatever fun thing comes to my head. like explore my hobbies, learn new things, do what i want to without having to commit to one thing forever? i used to be scared of this idea, and thought it was flakey or unserious or the recipe for an unremarkable life. but like, who am i trying to impress? nobody. other than myself. and i think i’d be pretty impressed with myself if i managed to disregard all external influences and just prioritised my happiness, and live life day to day, moment to moment, and not for one ultimate end. my younger self would hate this and think i’m a loser now, but she doesn’t know what i know. to a lot of people i might seem like a quitter but i don’t care? what they think? wow i love who i’m becoming. i love taking it easy. and honestly i’m supportive of the whole hustle culture grindset mindset but it’s definitely not for me. i still want money though. but not more than i want peace. oh god what do i do with all my playlists about living for love? ok i’m being too optimistic here, this doesn’t happen overnight… i hope to be done with romance, it was really an obsession at one point. like what will a kiss do? is it really worth all the other shit. i don’t think it is. maybe one day if something happens organically and if i’m va-

lued enough i’ll think about it. but for now, i’m good. really. i really am good. i’m almost in disbelief. it’s almost too good to be true. i don’t want to jinx it. i’m not scared of being by myself. i’m literally the best company. i take good care of myself, or at least i try my best. can’t top that.

#personal #journal entry

[theactualpilot]

Personal, please ignore, yelling into the void

#i hate being so inexperienced with dating #i hate that my longest relationship was 4 months #i hate that i dont know the normalcys of dating and how to actually do things #i dont know if thats the reason i cant keep a girl around for longer than a few months or that i cant get them to commit #i also hate how dating is such a touchy subject now and actually approaching someone is frowned upon #i dont have friends that want to go out to bars or anything similar #and i dont want to flirt with anyone at work because if they dont find me attractive i dont want them to think they cant come back #i just deleted tinder bumble and hinge because those werent really working out for me either #i dont know what to do #i know they say focus on yourself and become a better man but i like to think im decently attractive #and have hobbies and things that interest me that i can talk about #and all my friends say youll find the one or itll happen one day #at this point i dont even want to find the one right now i just want some more experience in dating and sex #im so fucking tired and lonely that its killing me inside #i just want someone to want me and to care about me as much as i do with them #i want the intimacy of a relationship #i enjoy doing things by myself #i like doing things by myself #movies eating bars aquariums vacations all that its so much fun by myself #but i hate that i HAVE to do them by myself #i just want someone to share that with