#one autistic comment at a time

[local-queer-classicist]

My professor when I call the Osiris statues made of dirt and barley seeds that the Ancient Egyptians would sprout during kiyahk “Osiris-Shaped Chia Pets”:

#he agreed after he took a second to think about it #further cementing my position as Best Student #one autistic comment at a time #I cannot be the first person to call them that though. that’s what they are #classics stuff #local queer classicist posts #university stuff #osiris #chia pet #classics memes #neurodivergent things

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though #it often takes me a long time to write that response #my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly #I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times #I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory #so I keep putting off reblogging gift art #because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give #maybe that sounds dumb and fake #but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that #often weeks sometimes months even #and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed #I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time #not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person #so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet #please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess #and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you #feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot #and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it #because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond #thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it #sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot #because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness #I'm trying to work on that #answered #anonymous

[themarsbar]

.

#vent post alert vent post alert! #you can skip ahead this is 100% me being dramatic but ohhh my god #why the fuck do people feel the need to comment on every single tiny thing that i do that literally doesn’t affect anybody #except for making my life that little bit easier?? #a list of Very Rude things that i apparently do that don't sit well with people: #working with my overhead lights off when i'm alone in the office (one day a month) #greeting people with a general good morning and not going into every single room to announce my presence when i get into work #working with headphones on #(not bc it's against workplace policies just bc i don't make myself constantly available for chats with my coworkers) #worthy to note i'm not even the only one who does any of these things apparently it's just a problem when i do it go figure #rn it was keeping the pantry door closed bc the noise the electronics in the room make is particularly grating #(pantry door needs to be open at all times for ???? reasons) #i could go on #as you can tell these are all Very Serious and Bothersome Offenses #like i'm sorry very unobtrusively accommodating my autistic brain is such a bother for you #please how can i make YOUR experience even more comfortable at the expense of mine #fuck this shit honestly

[static-scribblez]

The bride and the ugly ass groom

#👻🪲 #<- oh right this is a tag I use for all my self indulgent doowop bug bullshit #what is wrong with me. #someone made a funny comment about how mama doo wop’s girlfriend is the bug woman #that’s literally all they did #and now i’m fixated on the idea of two one-time characters who we’ll never hear from again being together why am i like thi- #oh yeah i’m autistic. #ah. #charlie stfu #shitpost #digital doodles #life in the world to come #litwtc #litwtc fanart #chris dunne #will wood #mama doo-wop #bug woman

[arsenicflame]

i really liked my tags on this post so i wanted to touch them up and post them as a stand alone! i ended up adding quite a bit to this ''':)

What artistic skill does Izzy possess?

I think he has a lot of 'practical' artsy skills. he’s decent at sewing (mending your own clothes isn't just useful, it's almost a requirement at sea with limited possessions and resources) he's probably decent at braiding hair from having to splice rope- simply anything with roots in being useful I think he has done enough to be decent at by this point in his life.

Singing comes into this as well, holding a rhythm is important for certain sailing tasks, and while I think he can sing in ways that don't translate to shanties, I don't think he has utilised this in a long long time (so excited that we are apparently getting an Izzy singing scene in s2!!!! I need him to know he can have fun)

Another thing is I think he was a really good tattoo artist! I don't actually see him as having the creativity to come up with interesting and unique designs but I do think he is excellent at the act itself, and at copying requested designs. you need a swallow? an anchor? a ship? any common sailors tattoo? he can absolutely do it and it will probably be the best tattoo you have. it was always a mark of honour if you could convince him to do yours on the Queen Anne- he was very busy and didn't often do them, and definitely wouldn't do them if he didn't respect you. He's done a lot of Ed's 'quality' tattoos (though I think Ed also does a lot on himself), he's done tattoos for Fang, and Ivan, and he will do them for the rest of the kraken crew in the future. (he will even do one for Lucius one day, one of his own pieces of art as long as its not an Ed face or a dick. They understand each other now)

anything else? I don't know, I see him very much as, he won't let himself do things if they aren't practical. his canon whittling is as close as he gets and that's more of a 'thing to do with your hands while watching the deck' kind of thing. have knife will whittle

I think ultimately, Izzy doesn't let himself do things for himself. if you love something, if you have a soft spot, it can be targeted, taken away.

I do think he maybe dances though. He always plays it off as something Ed forces him to do when they're drunk/on shore but... he loves it- the motion; the reliance on another partner and the intimate understanding of exactly what they're gonna do next? I think he would love that actually.

I think dancing might be the one thing he always does for fun. He never lets himself have it, but if Ed demands a partner? Yes, of course, anything for his Captain.

(Ed always demands a partner. he likes dancing well enough but he likes seeing Izzy do it more- he knows Izzy will never do it on his own, he understands why, but Ed is Blackbeard. Nobody fucks with Blackbeard- and if he wants to dance? if he wants his first mate to dance? they're fucking dancing.)

but that's not the truth of the situation, really.

It always takes him a second to let his guard down, but he relaxes into it. He lets himself loose in a way Ed only sees when he's deep into the rhythm of a swordfight. And perhaps it's the same, to him- finding the flow of the battle, of the music. Feeling his partner, understanding them and being understood in return? It's all the same- but dancing is safe. Dancing is fun. In a swordfight there are stakes- and he loves the stakes, he loves that this thing that means everything to him matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it really is nice to move like that in a way that doesn't matter.

And when they really get going- all twirls and jumps and frankly being a little ridiculous, Izzy laughs. A deep belly laugh, a kind of joy you didn't think was possible from him. But here he is, letting go at last. He laughs and he smiles and he feels such joy, the rest of the world melts away, and it is just him and his partner, dancing.

(later- much, much later, a man will play a battle song over their raids, a jaunty little tune that throws off everyone they fight against, and Izzy gets to dance, and fight, and feel free, unburdened by the weight that he's carried with him his whole life. They'll dance after too, and he will have finally found a place where he completely belongs)

(if you liked this, can I recommend Talking Bodies by ItsClydeBitches, i feel like that fic fits the themes of dancing incredibly well)

#I didnt want to clog up ops post but Izzy dancing is everything to me actually #I hadnt reread that fic in months but I did just now to make sure it was the one I was thinking of #and yeah I can definitely see its influence in this post #once again the autistic Izzy headcanons thread themselves through this post I cant help it its canon to me #I specifically think that the whittling could be a stim thing for him. hes had too many comments made about his hand movements #when he was younger and has learnt that 'doing something' is seen as far more acceptable. its repetitive and soothing and safe #also heres a fun little gift for my bellhands friends. I think Sam taught him how to dance. like proper dances. #and it was at the same time as he was learning to swordfight which is partly why theyre so similar for him #Ed and Jack came across them dancing in port; not long after they started talking to Izzy properly (hed known Sam a while by this point) #and like. Jack thinks its kinda funny but Ed? oh hes jealous. for the first time he Wants #Izzy and Sam are so close; and they have been for a while but this is Different. its one thing knowing that its Izzy&Sam and Ed&Jack #and its another thing to see them like this. its intimate and personal and for the first time Ed regrets not seeing izzy first #(this is heavily influenced by my personal pirate school headcanons jfgjfhnv) #makes a post to deal with out of hand tags; tags on that post get out of hand #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #edizzy #blackhands #frenchie ofmd #references to him; anyway. i felt it fit to keep him vaguely defined but it is obviously him. my favourite lil guy #this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth #if youre curious the post is like 844 words long and with the tags its 1220 ish. i am so sorry #references to vague time periods pre canon and post canon idk put them whenever you want. when edizzy was happy. when they will be again #I cut the bit about weaving because it was just a silly little thing and didnt slot into this but know Izzy with a loom is everything to me #im also sorry the tone is all over the place this is half 'i thinks' and half like. semi narrative things? idk idk i have no sense of order #this is as good as it gets for me

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[onthevirgooftears]

i think that hu is abelist/her behaviour is abelist (unintentionally of course)

i want to paraphrase this by saying that im autistic and have personal experience with casual ableism + ableism that very clearly wasn't intentional but still harmful.

the thing about hu is that she wants to be important and she wants to be a part of people's lives. she doesn't want to be someone you say hello to and never see again, she wants to insert herself into the lives of people she cares about which isn't necessarily wrong but i think that her relationship with nico is where it shows how misguided it can get.

in my opinion, i think nico is autistic and i think that hu sees these autistic traits as innocence rather than for what it actually is. there have been countless times where nico has shown that they aren't stupid and that they don't need to be coddled and even if they hadn't i still don't think it's right to treat someone like they simply don't understand what they're doing.

i think that's the problem with their relationship, hu treats nico like they don't know what they're doing or saying or talking about and tries to save face for things that nico is deliberately doing and/or saying. that's kind of the point, hu doesn't treat anyone else in the cast like that, she's protective, yes, but she isn't overbearing. she talks to the rest of the cast like they're her friends even during the moments when she's defending them.

it comes down to the fact that she acts like nicos mother rather than their friend (which is what she should be doing btw 💀 during the nico-ace situation what they needed was a friend, as i said, they don't need to be coddled and treated like a child.)

anyways, i don't think people who aren't autistic should be saying she isn't abelist 😭 I'm always up for hearing the opinions of other autistic people because maybe my view of things is skewed. but i do think that abelism isn't just like, blatantly calling someone the r slur, it can be (and is in this case) acting like we're stupid and like we don't understand basic things, defending us as though we don't have the mental capacity to do it ourselves.

i also don't think hu is doing it intentionally (i cannot stress this enough!!!) she is trying to help, she isn't being dehumanising on purpose and i think twisting it into something it's not is such a deterrent to her character. she's a good person but as i said, i just think she's misguided when it comes to this specifically.

#i was going through the confessions account and i saw a post about this and people were arguing about it in the tags and comments lmap #idk why people are so convinced that saying her behavior is abelist is reiterating the villain narrative that people are pushing #like no??? she can be a good person and also also be (unintentionally) abelist like they arent mutually exclusive #nerotypical people trying to dismiss this is really pissing me off btw 💀 i get that you like her and i do too #but not listening to autistic people on the one thing some of us have a problem with and then proceeding to hc nico as autistic is silly?? #nico hakobyan #hu jing #drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #ALSO i think it's really stupid not to acknowledge the whole 'not everything is black and white' rhetoric ONLY when it comes to this #suddenly saying her BEHAVIOR is abelist means I'm calling her a villain and saying shes evil? what happened to nuance lmao #posting this is embarrassing lmao?? people get so heated please dont attavk me i will cry

[falled-over]

#photos of my guitar my dad posted to his blog years back when he bought it #it’s the most beautiful guitar in the world. it feels warm and alive to play #as you can see in the first two pics it used to have a newer pickup installed on the bottom. luckily he found an era appropriate online #it’s from 82 if you were curious #it says squire on the headstock but it was made on the fender line. they bought squire out and swapped in the name soon after this #but he got it a little cheaper than it was worth at the time because people aren’t as autistic as him and don’t know about production lines #basically it wasn’t brand name #basswood body and dark rosewood on the neck 😋✌️ #it’s actually a replication of a ‘62 model! which was 20 years old at the time. mines now twice that. isn’t that incredible #i actually saw a modern fender replication of this exact model in an op shop yesterday #for more or less exactly how much this was bought for #dad finished his blog post by saying he thinks this is better made than the original. and despite not knowing the og i’m inclined to agree #people in the comments of his post are saying that this era was supposed to be something special. hehe. they’re right #i’ve played many guitars. i own this one because my dad collects them and he let me try them all out #and i have a lot of friends who play guitar and ive hung out with them to do so #and i’ve never felt one like mine before or since. it’s so obviously beautiful #when i picked it out i hadn’t played much but i knew right away how good it was. i prefer strat bodies because i can hug my torso around #them without getting poked like a tele and the necks are thinner than acoustics (small hands. bad) #unless we’re talking parlour #love a wee parlour. pa has a little one he got for 30 bucks that’s one of my favourites of his #he’s insanely good at finding deals #he fixes them all up #anyway. the body feels #how would you even describe it #heavy. and alive. warm and wet and still full of sap #i feel like it’s breathing #it’s sort of the only thing that motivates me to be better. i could cry just thinking about it. i want to be good enough to play it

[dykegeology]

People have such funny stereotypes about goths. Like we're literally just music nerds who like ominous music with specific guitar sounds. Like creature people except instead of creatures it's songs and instead of phylogeny it's the evolution of slightly different sounds and instrumentals in sub-subgenres.

#read some guardian article about goths and people were saying the most absurd things in the comments. guys. #however there was one comment that was so funny. someone was like 'why are so many goths into maths?' and it's like well I didn't think #about that before but as a maths goth I guess they're both autistic people subcultures #I am working on the introduction to goth music playlist. I just have been soooo busy moving interstate and into university campus #residential accommodation now is the first time I am listening to music in a week. #+ I added commentary and the playlist was intended to be only 50 songs but um I kept thinking of types of music I missed so it is #continually expanding

[autisticlee]

contrary to my last post...how do you know if you're aromantic, or you just haven't found the mythical and elusive "THE ONE" everyone keeps going on about and promises me I will find?

every time I say i'll never date or find someone I can't stand being around or who will like me, someone always 100% of the time tells me "you have to keep looking! you will find The One™ one day! they're out there! they're real!"

i've wondered if i'm aromatic for my whole life (or at least since I learned that was a thing when I got internet as a teen) but how do you know

I feel like when I see kther aro people out there, they are so sure of themselves! they know how aro they are and aren't questioning it. it's like how I know for sure i'm asexual (being sex repulsed made that one easy lmao) but aromatic seems different and less solid.

generally, I don't care. i'm not looking for a partner and don't generally think I want one. i'm fine alone/without a relationship. it seems like tol much work and trouble. I can't even make and keep friends! why would I date?

but I feel very lonely seeing everyone in my life pair off and I have no one to rely on or lean on. I would love to have a best friend or small group of close friends, but my useless autistic ass can't even do that. but that's another rant lmao.

i always remember when someone told me once that if I want a best friend, I need to date someone. "adults don't have best friends, jnsywas they date and pair off. their partner is their best friend. you can't call another adult you aren't dating your best friends. that's only for kids."

that's so sad and lonely, yet everyone seems to believe or at least follow that dumb logic. it's times like that where I think "maybe it would be nice to have a partner," but I don't know if I just want that close relationship, or actually want a partner.

I don't know if i'm capable of being romantically attracted to someone. I know I want a really close relationship with someone where I can trust and rely on them fully. they're always there for me and I for them. we do everything together and help each other grow and live in this difficult world. but I don't want it to come with that awkward and annoying dating and romance expectation. I don't want to go on awkward first dates and have awkward "are we a thing" stage and then have the possibility of a breakup. (I can't deal with friendhips ending. a breakup would end me lmao)

I used to always say I wanted to be friends with someone first before for a while we date so I can know if I can't stand being stuck with them and them with me for a long period of time. that way I can see if if are compatible first. I think it's weird and irresponsible when people start dating before knowing who someone even is. that's just so weird (and lowkey scary) to me lmao. but I have also learned that people thinks irs wierd if you want to date after being friends because then they think you only became friends to date them and act weird about it even if it's not true. that's not the goal or reason. but no one i've been friends with passed my test anyway lmao

I remember talking about this with one friend a while back and them she suddenly a bit later accuses me of liking her and decided we can't be friends anymore. but she also didn't pass my test and wasn't the type of person I wanted. (I think she was also the person who said the quote above about adults can't have best friends)

i've never actually liked someone. when I was younger, I got aesthetic attraction mixed up with sexual attraction until I learned asexual is a thing and that's me. I also got romantic interest mixed up with admiration a d simply finding a person interesting. also both got mixed up with gender envy hahaha

but I don't even know if I could be in a relationship. I dont feel suited. I'm way too picky to like and trust anyone enough. i'm also a useless little gremlin and no one would ever like ME enough. then there's the barrier of the person would also need to be asexual because I can't deal with their sexual needs at all and would feel bad. i've met/talked to a total of like 5 asexual people in my life. we seem comparatively rare. none of them were for me obviously.

aromantic people as well. seems rare to me. I also know it's a spectrum. there's so many types. I could be somewhere in there. but I don't know if I should say i'm aromantic meaning I don't have an interest at all, or that i'm like demi and waiting for "The One ™" or whatever. where on the spectrum am I????

should I hope I find The One or try not to think about it? I don't want waiting for that mythical person to be my whole personality and life goal like most people do. that's annoying lmao. but I also don't know if i'm cursing myself to be lonely for life because I refuse to open up to the possibility...

I feel like this is some autistic black and white thinking coming in 😅 I know it doesn't matter much, but it drives me crazy whenever I do think about it.....

#usually I don't want anyone and can't stand romance anything #but there's rare times where I think “it would be nice to be cute and gay with someone right now... #whats the truth 🤨🧐 #asexual #aromantic #aroace #sexuality #lgbtq #autistic #lee rambles #my phone keeps deciding its aromatic. i bet theres a bunch of typos and bad autocorrect bht i dont wanna fix it im sorry fhdjdjksks #also why cant we normalize that some people may not ever find The One and thats ok? #teach people how to be comfortable alone maybe. stop shaming people who dont want to or have never dated. #stop making me feel broken and like im missing some big important and necessary part of life!!!! #demisexual #i supposed thats a tag i could use #feel free to comment anything and try to convince my brain to accept the free spectrum and not be so b&w

[lilgynt]

i’m gonna COMPLAIN. SHOCKER.

#personal #it guy hasn’t said anything or made comments or has been sitting with me at lunch which cool #at most it’s like damn lost the only person i talk to at my job at all but then i remember the convos and im like yeah it’s fine #but anyway i just get a weird vibe and im mad! #i’m just mad bc i don’t go after coworkers bc one coworkers im not shitting where i eat #two it’s a very confusing process for me and i don’t need that in my work place #i didn’t ask for him to get weird i didn’t ask for him to get weird after #and now i’m stuck with this awareness and unease bc it stresses me out! #and usually dudes who are into me scare me! #but it’s just frustrating i’m already struggling (socially work wise im super duper killing it) at work #and then you throw that into the mix it’s very confusing and i feel like a bad person #and it’s one of the times i just hate being autistic #would i still be confused and annoyed if i wasn’t? probably but probably not as bad #anyway lip stuff coming today. win. #trying dating apps again #chatting with a body builder rn so that’s going alright #crazy start he wrote. i don’t want to say a poem but a rhyme about king kong and my ass #in under a minute when i said something homo sapien #i was like do i. do i unmatch for this. but also it was really witty for writing in under a minute like i cannot deny that #anyway that’s going okay usual levels of stress with talking with people from dating apps #there’s this one gorgeous guy but he is so fucking boring to talk to #one dude has just been arguing about avatar the last air bender first sentence in and that’s been relaxed engaging #and this one trans dude matched with me and talked about patches but that was a minute ago so 😔😔😔😔😔😔 #girls. r scary is my answer to that

[nagitoedit]

remembered when me and my mom were ???? somewhere going to little shops and my mom stopped at some place to see if there was a bathroom and i waited in the car and then some old white guy with a bright red hat glared at me through the windshield (i was still wearing my mask but it was pulled down under my chin since i was in the car) and after staring at him for too long trying to see what his hat was even though it was obvious i finally saw "trump" on the front lawl.

#there was this other time i went to a flea market wearing a ask idk if anyone looked at me weird im too autistic to be looking at strangers #faces but anyways there was a nazi there. like actual. nazi. white guy sitting in his booth with literal nazi flags. #and all of the other people there were selling trump or republican or anti science stuff . honeslty i did get nervous abt #wearing a mask there 😐 but nothing happened no one even spoke to me #the single time. only time ever since the start. that anyone mentioned my mask to me was just asking me about it out of #curiosity/worry before then thinking out loud that maybe they should start wearing one again #worst comment i had actually ever gotten from a stranger though was some old guy who didnt even say anything mean to me #it was just. i was wearing flip flops when it was cold and he was like 'arent your piggys gonna get cold?' or something #so like. not malicious or rude or anything. just. odd 😭

[beesorcery]

should i post my spreadsheets

#i have been told they might be appreciated by my autistics in arms but idk #i have a d20 + naddpod one for pc stats #a fob/tourdust one for tracking plays + eight balls #and a pacific rim one for kaiju #these are listed in order from most to least objective #d20/naddpod one is straight up facts and information the fob one is mostly data but also notes what was on thr setlists at the ones i was at #and the pacrim one is just fully opinions. with a side of wiki stats #but i have sunk an unbelievable amount of time into each one and theyre color coded and everything #hmm. get in the comments if u wantbto see my spreadsheets i suppose #anyway goognight. augh

[professionalowl]

not reblogging the post because i know it's a flawed test (and infuriatingly poorly worded to wit) but the RAADS-R autism test is going around again and i got an 87, which is i think what i got the last time i took it and also tracks - i'm personally pretty certain that i'm not autistic, but (autistic) friends of mine have historically been split on the issue because apparently i 'act' like an autistic person and they're often surprised when i say i'm actually not

#my *closest* friends tend to think i'm not but - to quote one guy - '[i'm] very smart and smart ppl tend to have traits that overlap' #which is an interesting assessment (he's autistic tb clear) and i think i know where it's coming from #i'm very direct with comments; i often have trouble with empathy; i'm clever (or y'know 'clever' for a given value of the word); #i don't feel emotions particularly strongly - or immediately - and this comes across in my speech #which i've been told can come off as detached/disaffected/uncaring even when it's not trying to be; #i'm apparently quite difficult to read sometimes? or come off as intimidating per neutral expression; #uh. one time an english teacher told me that i'd taught her to 'think more logically' whatever the fuck that means; #these are i think stereotypical autistic 'smart guy' traits which do not actually map on to the majority of autistic people afaik #at least not as a package or all expressed the same way - but in this case i think it's a category error #interesting food for thought nonetheless. i spend some time thinking about it because people do ask me occasionally #and the general autistic mileu of tumblr.com has actually helped me be nicer to myself about those traits #(as well as check myself abt other people; i'm not going to pretend to be some kind of saintly autistic whisperer or w/e) #considered going back and taking the test with the 'most generous' and then the 'least generous' answers and comparing them #but i can't be bothered. add a button for 'in specific situations' or die by my hand #i WILL say that some of said autistic friends who were surprised to find out i wasn't #expressly thought i WAS because they drew a correlation between their behaviour and my own #so it's not just 'people are misreading me because of stereotypes about how autistic people act' although i do think that can be an element #let me know if this post is weird or w/e it is literally just speculating on myself and how people perceive me #as a consequence of tending to occupy circles otherwise occupied largely by neurodivergent people #('fandom' and 'archaeology and anthropology')

[calciferstims]

I love abusing my power by just using this blog to call on all of the Autistics™️ whenever I please. it’s so fun and it ALWAYS works every time. like it’s just *casts spell of summon autistics into my inbox* and then BOOM I’ve got twenty people talking to me about their funny little interests >:)))) hehhehehhe

#‘autistics…. lend me your wisdom…..’ #like that one time I was on my main acc and I was just like #‘hey I need one of those autistic ppl who’s really into unpopular/commonly disliked animals to tell me what kind of snake izzy would get’ #and within like THREE MINUTES. I shit you not. I already had someone VERY excited in my comments like I CAN I CAN TELL YOU!!!!!! #and then proceeded to go on a whole spiel about spiders and snakes and stuff #that was a very lovely discussion actually they are so nice #I can’t remember if they follow me on this blog or not but if ur seeing this hi <3 ily #chatting tag

[moomeecore]

id like to preface this with the fact that bc i haven't updated the app (and don't use desktop) tumblr not only won't let me participate in polls, but won't even let me SEE them. i can't even see what the question is. i can see images & notes & that's it. anyway only getting to know abt polls from comments & ppl posting abt it is actually SUPER funny. currently the funniest shit rn is the tumblrwoman polls. bc i didn't hear anything abt them until ppl started talking abt marceline vs vriska LOL and i know almost NOTHING abt homestuck. but an insane amnt of ppl where confidently and angrily declaring that vriska is THE tumblrwoman and marcy couldn't possibly compete. so i was like "oh ok. guess vriska will win then. im a huge marcy fan but idk shit abt vriska, and im seeing a ridiculous ratio of comments declaring how vriska WILL win vs occasional comments saying someone will vote for marcy. so good for vriska whoever she is. hope she's cool" and then apparently marcy WON?? so this recontextualizes things sm for me, who just imedietly had gone "oh ok, people seem really passionate abt vriska winning, guess she's gotta win". turns out this newfound information is pinpointing, to me, that vriska fans are just super annoying /lh

#ik ppl r saying 'vriska only lost bc ppl voted against her out of spite. so in the wnd she REALLY won' #which is funny but also. idk man i dont know shit abt vriska. if i got the opportunity id vote for marcy. not out of spite. bc i love marcy #ppl where saying like. 'oh vriska content is everywhere on tumblr marcy couldnt even compete' #which is funny bc like. u know this site is mostly self curated rigjt #i see TONS of marcy content #and honestly. i see homestuck stuff occasionally but not enough to have recognized vriska #like. i had heard her name before. but didnt even know what she looked like and honestly. dont rlly remember now either #shes not one of those characters frm smthn i dont read/watch/etc who i learned abt second hand bc ppl where so obsessed w them #im sure ive seen art of her here amd there but i dont remember her #and ironically. marceline is ABSOLUTELY a characyer who i learned abt second hand long before actially watching at #like i only started watching at like a yr ago #but i not only recognized marceline years prior #but knew basics abt her characyer and backstory #just frm ppl talking abt her! lol #i even did fan art of her long before ever watching the show bc i thoight her design was cool #bonus comment tho. betty grof of adventure time should get to be a tumblrwoman too #shes unhinged and evil and weird and autistic and deserves appreciation for this #text