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thetarttfuldickhead · 1 year

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Okay but like, Roy and Jamie weren’t exactly subtle about loathing each other, were they? They fought each other on the pitch and badmouthed each other on TV, none of that keep it quiet for the sake of the team shit for these extra boys, yeah? My point is, anyone who knows anything about English football knows that Roy Kent and Jamie Tartt used to hate each other, right?

So obviously, at some point, during some press conference or post game interview, someone needs to bring this fact up. Maybe it’s as early as after the 2x06 match, because Ted might well have insisted Roy and Jamie be the ones to front that, both because it was them that won that game and because he figures it’ll promote ~their bond~ or some such. Could be later too, after the headbutt/hug thing, or later still, once the pictures of Jamie and Roy’s early morning excursions start doing the rounds on social media.

Doesn’t matter much when, really, only that someone – maybe from the tabloids because they’re a vicious lot – would ask: “Roy, just weeks before you joined the Richmond coaching staff you said, and I quote, ‘Jamie Tartt is a muppet and I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch’. Today you described him as the most important player on the field. What has changed?”

And maybe the room goes a bit quiet at that, oooh he fucking went there, and what the hell is going to happen now, but Jamie only cocks his head to the side, making a face but looking at Roy all amused like. “You said that about me? That hurts me feelings, Coach.”

And Roy rolls his eyes, exasperated but in too good a mood after the win to be really annoyed. “Yeah, well, as it turns out the condition was only mostly incurable, wasn’t it?”

And Jamie goes aaaw and the press goes um okay and it doesn’t really explain anything, only adds to the ever-evolving legend of what the fuck is up with Roy Kent and Jamie Tartt.

#i feel slightly robbed for not getting a peek at all the weird press and social media this whole insanity must have inspired #'cause by rights it must have been everywhere sports related #‘roy kent is going to coach jamie tartt? i give it one week tops before one of them is in the hospital’#the whole headbutt/hug thing when they won against brentford #‘WHAT WAS THAT’#‘wasn’t surprised by the headbutt but a hug???’#the tumblr account ‘is jamie tartt and roy kent friends yet’#countered by the hornier ‘is jamie tartt and roy kent fucking yet’#that maybe was once called 'have jamie tartt and roy kent killed each other yet'#but they had to rebrand for obvious reasons #god help us all when the whole extracurricular training thing gets out #twitter flooded by candids #‘is kent training him or torturing him? real question’#I WANT ALL OF IT #roy kent #jamie tartt #roy & jamie #ted lasso #my stuff

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mssi · 1 month

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xavi should continue solely for the fact that he’s so funny on the sidelines

#him doing the diving gesture is just grand because it’s true #no coach will ever top that!#fc barcelona

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medicalunprofessional · 10 months

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twisted fucking cycle knots scribble collection 2 🫣

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ohdeargodwhy · 1 year

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Ted being attracted to men in Seasons 1 and 2 of Ted Lasso

#ted lasso gifs #ted lasso s1 #ted lasso s2 #my gifs #nate shelley #roy kent #ted x nate #ted x roy #ted x beard #coach beard #jamie tartt #ted x trent #trent crimm #isaac mcadoo #jason sudeikis #bi ted lasso #bisexual ted lasso #sharon up top really like 'i just witnessed something lgbt'#i think at this stage this show isn't going to make bi ted canon but its canon to me #honestly while making this trying to find all the cases where ted expressed attraction to anyone my main takeaway was big asexual vibes #the scene where keeley shows him her photoshoots going 'i look insanely fit here' and his response is 'yeah no its beautiful light'#absolutely me when confronted by n*des like 'oh interesting lighting in the background'#had to redo the tags for this so many times eventually realised tumblr banned it from the tags because i wrote the word n*des #tried my best to transcribe the Twi- it rly sounds like francis says 'ɛnyɛ' not 'ɛyɛ' which means he's saying 'i don't greet you' lmao #maybe more like 'it is not me greeting you' which does actually make sense if its edwin thats actually greeting him?#someone correct me pls im just guessing here

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chirpsythismorning · 2 years

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thank u @ximenaahuatzi for this gem

#byler #stranger things #director: will byers #top billed cast: mike wheeler #acting coach: will byers #mike wheeler #will byers #stranger things spoilers #noah schnapp #finn wolfhard

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walnutmistjamie · 9 months

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fave Ted Lasso moments 25/? : I ain't doin it wrong, you're doing it wrong.

#i love this scene but honestly i just wanted to see him in yellow #top 5 jamie's line #jamie tartt #ted lasso #jan mass #trent crimm #roy kent #coach beard #everyone really #*mine: gifs #*ftlm

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wandasfifthwife · 1 month

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she tells me keep fucking cause she loves this shit ✩‧₊˚

— hockey player!wanda x afab/fem!reader

wanda has an away game, meaning she has to leave you in the morning. your emotions to rise, hurt turning into anger and causing you to snap at her, resulting in an argument—but you can’t stay mad at her. before you can realize you’ve ended up under her, pleas for her to fuck you good before she leaves.

tw || SMUT MDNI, established relationship, angry-makeup-im going to miss you-sex, argument, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, top!wanda, bottom!reader, strap (r receiving), oral (r receiving), impact play (spanking), marking (neck), r is called little thing (by wanda), overstim if you squint, cum kink?

a/n || TEAM SHOWN IN PHOTOS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH/ WANDA’S TEAM (I choose them bc they’re cool blue color). fic inspired by this prompt.

series m.list ✩ ══╡˚1.6k words˚╞══ ✩ wanda m.list

Professional athletes travel around for away games, you know this. Wanda’s mentioned her out-of-state games before to you, subconsciously reminding you of her possible leaves in the future. It was a possibility, but when it came you felt saddened by the news, especially when this trip was longer due to press and interviews.

“Hey,” she murmurs in a hushed tone, coming behind you from where you stood at the bathroom counter, “how’re you feeling?”

“Im fine.”

She eyes you wearily, the feeling making your skin crawl, “really, Wanda. It’s whatever.”

“I didn’t mean to tell you this so late. I only just remembered when I saw the information after my coach reminded us tonight—”

“Like I said, it’s whatever. Would’ve just been nice if you told me sooner.”

“I was planning to.”

“Well turns out you didn’t if you’re only telling me this the night before,” you say, heart aching as you realize she’ll be leaving tomorrow for her week and a half trip. You felt dramatic, you know you’ll see her again, but a week and half is long enough where you’ll miss her.

It’s long enough where her bed will begin to loose its heat, her side growing cold. It’s just long enough where she’ll be too busy to call you, get wrapped up with the scheduling they had for their team. You slam the drawer shut, the sudden spike in your energy levels making Wanda jump.

“Are you angry at me?”

You mock her tone, moving around her to grab the clothes you had thrown onto the floor before your shower.

“Talk to me. Why’re you angry?”

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because my girlfriend is leaving for a week and a half? And oh, maybe because she thinks this isn’t important to tell me, let me know before hand?”

“I didn’t know it’d affect you this much.”

Her words snap a cord in you, your mind twisting her soft tone into one that’s scoffing at you.

“Are you just this forgetful or are you just ignorant? Because this seems to happen often where you seem to forget and then trying to apologize for it—like my birthday last week.”

“Hey,” she replies, eyebrows pinching in hurt, “that’s uncalled for, I thought we moved past that.”

“I thought we did too but here you are doing it again.”

She looks at you with disbelief on her face, “okay, woah—what’s going on?“

“You, Wanda! You’re the problem! I can’t keep dealing with your selfish thinking.”

“Look—I’m sorry for not telling you about this until now, I really am, but I’m not going to deal with this. You’re being rude. Maybe it is best I leave.”

No.

“Okay fine, you were going to anyways,” you exclaim, moving past her on your way out of her room, slamming her door behind you in the middle of her retaliation of yelling, ‘fine,’ back at you.

There was a space closet just beside her room, one you peered in to see if she had any extra blankets laying around. You found two, using them to make a make-shift bed on the couch seeing as you don’t know if Wanda would want you near her right now.

It pains you every time you remember the look on her face after you called her selfish, reminded her of last week’s grievance. She didn’t deserve any of that just because you were sad she had to leave.

There was an attempt made to sleep on the couch, eyes opening and shutting too often. Your ears were focusing on the soft sounds coming from her room, hearing her walk around or close a drawer. You were being selfish and yet you directed the word at her when she was only trying to console you. She’s the last person you would ever consider to be selfish. You squeeze your eyes shut, the movement forcing a tear down your face.

If you slept out here tonight she’d be gone early tomorrow morning. She’d leave thinking you thought she was selfish, that you were still upset she had forgotten your birthday. All were lies, tumbling out of you in the heat of the moment to deal with the hurt you felt knowing she was leaving out of no where—but it only succeeding in making it worse.

You shuffle out of the makeshift bed, feet tripping on the blankets as you push yourself back towards her room. She was sitting on her bed, scrolling on her phone when you walked in. It’s like she knew, hands reaching to cup your face when you rushed over to press a feverish kiss to her lips. She sets her phone onto the desk, bringing that hand to twist you under her so she can kiss you into the mattress.

Her hands run down your sides, caressing your hips and grabbing at the skin there to pull you further down under her. Your arms lock themselves around her neck, gasping when she bites down harshly on your lower lip.

“Please,” you beg, turning your face to deepen a kiss when you notice she’s moving back to kiss you again. She nips at your neck, turning the skin there into a darker color. You tilt your head back, giving her more space to roam, to press another mark onto your skin. There’s a thigh between yours, moving your cunt along the expanse of it.

“Fuck,” she whispers, reaching to pull your clothing off after.

“Please—fuck me,” you beg again, pulling at her shirt. She’s shrugging it off, pulling it over her head to toss it beside her. Her chest presses into yours as she spreads your right leg up, opening you up for her. She’s looking into your eyes, seeking your confirmation before continuing.

She’s reaching, grabbing the harness to fasten it to her. The tip’s already at your entrance, pushing through your tight heat. Your body freezes, bottom lip dropping open as you feel every inch slide in, already beginning to move. You cry out when she thrusts back, hips moving at almost a punishing pace.

You’re pushed into the sheets, hands intertwined with hers by your head. She bites down on your shoulder, fucking into you harder after hearing you whimper. You’ve got your thighs pushed wide, welcoming her size as best as you can, but she still splits you open and it makes your eyes roll back.

“You’re infuriating,” she says, thumb brushing your previous tear stains away. You barely hear her over your incoherent mumbling, a string of pleas and whines escaping you to echo throughout her room.

“No,” you cry, reaching for her when she slides out. She’s shushing you, looking down at where you were connected to gage where to press in again. She gets distracted by the wetness coating your thighs, the dark spot forming onto her mattress from underneath where you lay. Her fingers spread your folds open, moaning as she licks through them, stopping directly onto your clit.

You’re weaving your hands into her hair, pulling her hair so tight. Your thighs shake beside her head, hips squirming as she sucks against your clit. She’s been keeping her eyes on you this whole time, angled up at you to see how beautifully you arch your back. With her tongue pressing into you and a finger circling your clit—you loose it, moaning as you come onto her tongue.

She grips your waist, flipping you so you’re breathing heavily into the mattress. The way you’re pushing your ass back into her gives her the best sight of the arousal running down your legs. You wiggle your hips, gasping when she brings her hand down to spank your ass.

“Yes!—ah, yes,” you whine, moving back to push more of her length into you. She grips your waist, hand brushing the skin to pull you until she’s bottomed out again. Her current angle is pressing right into the spot that makes you see white, makes you loose control over yourself seeing how you’ve begun to writhe from pleasure.

“Wanda-ah, uh—oh!”

You pull at her sheets, whine half muffled from how your face was being pushed into them. She squeezes your hip, “gonna miss this when I’m gone, aren’t you? Little thing can’t pleasure yourself the way I do.”

“There,” you choke on a moan, “oh!—right there!”

She knows where you’re talking about, having full knowledge and confidence about your body. Her thrusts are short, quick—pushing rapidly against that spot in ways that builds the heat between your thighs again. The second her finger is reaching over to rub at your clit you’ve let yourself go, silently screaming into the pillows.

Wanda pushes a finger past your hole even as she’s still sheathed inside, bringing it to her lips after. She hums around her fingers, eyes in a lustful gaze as she looks down at your panting body, connected to her still. She jerks her hips into yours playfully, laugh full of ego when you mewl after her ministration.

“I’m selfish? Look at you right now,” she emphasizes her words with another jerk of her hips, “came twice and you’re wanting more.”

You twist your face, ruffling the pillow to look back at her, shivering when you find her eyes. She leans over your body, arms flexing where they fall by your head. You lean back into her body, leaking all over her strap.

“I’m not stopping until you’re begging me to. Your body wont forget this all the days I’m gone,” she husks into your ear, “that sound good to you?”

You’re only able to nod, lips opening and closing with nothing but whines coming out. You’ve been reduced to nothing and she knows it.

“You always come crawling back to me.”

You want to deny it but you can’t, and she knows it, a smile coming upon her face when you nod.

series m.list ✩ ══╡˚1.6k words˚╞══ ✩ wanda m.list

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l1tw1ck · 1 year

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Getting Jealous

bottom!ftm!yandere Keishin Ukai x top!masc Reader

☆ Word Count: 800 ☆

pretend it's still february....💀

↳ [Event Request] | AFAB Language Used

CW: Semi Public Sex, Coach-Player Relationship, Cunnilingus, Overstimulation, Creampie

It was a typical Valentine's Day at Karasuno, gifts were being handed out and confessions were being made. Keishin would get a chocolate or two but you? Since you're on the volleyball team, you'd get an entire locker full.

Keishin would open it in between classes and throw everything out, not wanting you to receive gifts from anyone but him. Maybe it's a bit much for your own coach to be obsessed with you, but you don't really mind. You love him anyway.

He thought it'd be over after school but he forgot about the girls who would invade the gym during practice and cheer the team on. It wouldn't have been a problem, other than it being a nuisance and a distraction, if it weren't for the ones who specifically went after you.

They'd offer water from their own water bottles or suggest helping to wipe sweat off your forehead. That earned them a fiery glare from the coach but they pressed on and you rejected them each time.

Regardless, it didn't help him ease his jealousy and he was furious by the end of practice. No one went near him in fear of being yelled at. He ended practice early and sent you a text to stay in the locker room.

You look up from your seat, greeted with a pouting Keishin. "You've been mad all day." You stand up and pull him close to you.

"Can you blame me?" He frowns.

"You know I don't like any of those people, right? I prefer a mature, older man." You kiss his jaw. "You're hotter than all of them combined. You're mine, Keishin. All mine." You unzip his tracksuit and pull it off.

Keishin grins smugly as you strip him down. That's right, he's yours.

You sit him down on the bench and spread his legs. You kneel down and bury your head in between them, lapping at his wetness before properly eating him out.

He's the only one who gets to feel your tongue in between their legs.

"Yes- more~" Keishin moans, holding onto your head.

The only one who gets to feel your hands gripping their thighs.

Keishin rolls his hips into your face, not hiding his pleasure at all. He throws his head back and moans your name. "Like that—" He lets out a loud cry, one that makes you wonder if anyone heard it.

He comes on your tongue while breathing heavily, body shaking as he comes down from his high.

You pull away, freeing your boner from its confines before bringing your boyfriend into the air, his arms and legs wrapping around you.

No one else gets to feel your strong hands on their body like Keishin does.

You slowly slide him down onto your length. "You always feel so good, Keishin." You kiss his cheek. He moans in response, hearing you say that always makes him melt, no matter how many times you say it.

You raise him up before forcing him down on your length, fucking him roughly. Keishin throws his head back and moans unabashedly. He cries out your name as you speed up, bucking your hips up into him. Not a thought crosses his mind as you fuck him. It feels too good for him to even utter a proper word. It doesn't help much that he already came earlier, he feels so sensitive it's clear he won't be able to last any longer. He loves being overstimulated so he doesn't say anything to you, enjoying the overwhelmingly good feeling coursing through his veins.

No one else gets to be fucked stupid on your cock like Keishin.

Keishin rolls his eyes back, babbling something before his orgasm comes crashing down. He manages to say, “Ke- keep- ah~! Yes~!” as your thrusts become more brutal. You start to use him like a cock sleeve, just the way he likes it. Drool spills down his chin as you fuck into his overly sensitive cunt, the pleasure too good for him to make you stop. Not that the idea of stopping you crossed his mind anyway.

You fuck into him like you’ll never see him again, pounding into him with more aggression than normal. Your way of assuring him that he's the only one for you. You dig your nails into his skin, marking his soft body. “I love you, Keishin-” You groan, reaching your peak. He cries out happily, he’s unable to speak properly thanks to being overstimulated but you already know his response. Your thrusts become slower but remain hard as you bring yourself to your completion.

Your movements eventually come to a stop, your cock buried deep inside Keishin as you flood his walls with your spend.

Neither of you are ready to stop just yet though. Especially not Keishin.

#wicks🕯works #wicks🕯requests #wicks🕯️events #male reader #top male reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x male reader #keishin x reader #keishin ukai x reader #keishin ukai smut #keishin ukai x male reader #coach ukai smut #🕯️HK!

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