#ok we're good i think..

[heartorbit]

back to our yuri programming

#I just really love putting a phenny where mr white would eb. #project sekai #revue starlight #pjsk #prsk #proseka #ichika hoshino #saki tenma #honami mochizuki #shiho hinomori #leoneed #l/n #leo/need #this is polyneed though i do like shihosaki and ichihona. ichisaki is my fav but shiho works too well as hikari #also after watching revstar live 4 hikaren is so very shihosaki in that. i think. and no offence to shiho but ichika would never run off #to england. she is a yearner and a lover. and a major loser #I forgot to post this here this is from weeks ago CON CRUNCH AAAAAUGH AAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH #I HAVE LIKE. 24 MORE HOURS TO WORK ON STUFF I HAVE TO PASSCK #its ok. we're good. we're chilling

[tricoufamily]

sim self (peer reviewed by my mom)

yes i made my tattoo

HATERS WILL SAY IT'S FAKE

#ok lowkey. did this perfectly. killed it. 10/10 likeness #i'm not on trend ok i had to wait to do this at a time when i didn't think i'd trigger something #i think we're good ask me in a few hours if i'm spiraling #ts4 #ts4 cas #the sims 4

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[espighty]

Imma be honest with you man. It's over for you dawg. We're putting you in the retirement home. Now, legally, I can't say what happens in the retirement home, uh, but I can say that we're putting you inside of it. And... it's- it's over man. It's done.

#I do actually think Shamura is cool I promise ok #also I love the “We're putting you in the contraption dawg” audio it's so fucking good. #cotl #cotl lamb #cotl shamura #cult of the lamb #ivy’s scribblings

[roman-and-azathoth]

As someone who used to work at a nursing home, I'm getting really tired of nursing staff turning to each other and going, "if I ever end up like THAT, just fucking kill me" like motherfucker the quality of life of these residents is your SOLE responsibility and if they're not living their best lives that is YOUR FAULT.

These residents are here because this is their best option. They're here because if they weren't, their quality of life would be worse.

These residents make friends with their roommates, the people they eat with, and the people who go to activities with them.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by their ability to walk.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by their ability to breathe without oxygen.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by whether or not they're on a feeding tube.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by level of continence.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by whether or not they can chew their food.

A disabled elder's quality of life is entirely measured on whether or not their needs are met.

If their quality of life is worse at a nursing home than it would be if they had just stayed home, then their needs are not being met. If you are not meeting their needs, that is YOUR FAULT and you have FAILED your residents as a medical professional.

#nursing #stna #nurse aide #nurses #long term care #i understand burnout is a thing #but do NOT fucking talk about your residents like that #they deserve the best life you can provide #and if youre not doing your job then why are you here #family members leave their loved ones on our care for a reason #theyre trusting us to maintain a good quality of life for them #and if we're not doing that then whats the fucking point #like if you genuinely look at somebody in a wheelchair and think “if i ever ended up like that just kill me” thats NOT ok

[wazzi2ya]

Arackniss: *Kicks open the door of the hotel* TONY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING FIGHTIN' THE FUCKING ANGELS!

Angel Dust: Holy shit what is your problem Niss—

Lucifer, flying down from his tower at the noise: Hey! Who's slamming doors in here?!

Arackniss: Cazzo, il Diavolo! *pulls a spray bottle of holy water out of nowhere and sprays Lucifer*

Lucifer, face dripping water: ...Thanks for that.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel arackniss #arackniss #i grew up catholic and thought it would be hilarious if Angel's family kept some of that good old roman catholic thinking even in hell #like ok fine we fucked up while alive and landed in hell. we're demons. we'll keep the crime. but we draw the line at dealing w the devil #niss that does nothing he's an angel #also where did you get that #feel free to correct my italian lmao i speak spanish but they're sister languages

[lazylittledragon]

if i'd known that 'we're all doomed' was going to be gay sex jokes and the first thing in a while to give me real actual hope then i would've seen it the first time around!!!!

#ramble #we're all doomed #it was so good i was v close to crying at the end #maybe we will be ok y'know #also i think someone recognised me in the pub next door bc they gave me an Insane double take #i promise i don't bite!!!!

[averlym]

fairest of the fair

#hi! im alive and back and etc. #six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art #this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self #aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying #redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me #back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit #also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill #multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me #notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts #of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions.. #1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was #pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes #3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume #and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to #explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is #darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall #outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet #within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions? #7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah #8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck #anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)

[cheebuss]

we cant have scp 049 without his annoying boyfriend!! Plsplsplspls draw 035 to song number 49 😏😏 I BEG 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

send a character + random number for a piece with them corresponding to the song on my Spotify top 100 [x]

[ Queensland — Jason Tai ]

do not forget about Palestine amidst the spotify wrapped excitement.

#// blood #// gore #// body horror #my art #fanart #fandom character #scp #scp foundation #scp 035 #scp 049 #// no lyrics just instrumental but with context it fits super well #// corpse inspired by the one in annihilation on the wall u know the one #// 035: just be honest with me i promise i wont overreact 🥰 #// 049: ok - i think we should break up. We're not good for each other and you keep trying to manipulate me. #// 035: ^

[letsmcfreackingloseit]

Hey-ho! I'm back again with some Apex Polarity art, but this time it's some designs for the humans' snow gear!

It started out with me just trying to figure out a design for y/n in my little comic, but then I thought it would be fun to also try and visualize the other humans, so here's my take of y/n, Vanessa and Michael! I really like how they turned out, although I don't think I got Vanessa's "patchwork" look quite right, but I still like where I landed. I added a blue scarf and I was really tempted to give her those red goggles, since it would've made her resemble Vanny even more, but in the end I desided against it.

So yeah- nothing too big this time, just something fun and easy!

But to round this off, I will of course credit the wonderful author @naffeclipse who is writing Apex Polarity, which you can go read if you click right here (can 100% recommend, especially if you like stories with a bunch of fluff, mystery and drama~!) and today I give credit to myself for the designs of the humans! ;P

#apex polarity #dca #dca fandom #polar!y/n #polar!vanessa #polar!michael #OK SO- I was trying to keep my rambling to a minimum in the main post #but now we're in the tags baby and I am about to RAMBLE!! #So if you're intersted in some extra info/thoughts- tag along! #so one thing I would like to note for y/n's design especially is the coloring choice #the grey jacket was mostly because- you know- ✨y/n-core✨a.k.a. grey #but the rest of the colors are basically the same as eclipse's colors- as a nod to their fated connection (black white red & yellow!) #I also kind of tried to make them look a little bit like a baby penguin- but the colors are inverted- so I guess I kind of failed? XD #but the thought was there! #As for vanessa I said most of it in the main post- except I gave her what I like to call; The Gamer Goggles (⌐■ω■) instead of the red ones #why do I call them that? I have absolutely no idea- so let's leave that and continue! #I designed michael last and he was kind of the easiest to do #the color balancing was maybe a little tricky- but I think the end result looks good! #at the very least he looks like he is ready for the weather AND you won't easily lose track of him in the snowy landscape! :D #I also made him a little fasco logo! #Nothing too fancy- just a happy little fox ready to tag along on an adventure! :3 #and that's about it for these pictures #I was tempted to also add their indoor design in this post (because yes- I also made some indoor designs >:3) #but I've decided to post them on a separate post so I won't ramble too much in this one XD #I mean look at this!!! #the terrible ramble disease strikes again #Will I ever escape it? probably not :P #now thank you so much for reading all of this and I hope you have a lovely day and/or night! XD

[zxal]

I will always be loyal to Yuya.

#yugioh arc v #ygo arc v #arc v #yuya sakaki #declan akaba #reiji akaba #my art #arc v art #i was pretty ambivalent towards declan until he said this out of nowhere in s3 and i was like ok you're kind of insane in a way i respect #the vibe i've always gotten from declan is that he's actually pretty kind and polite #but he comes off as mean/sinister because he has a flat affect and rbf #and i think that extends to his relationships too. yuya is like ugh declan doesn't care about any of this declan doesn't care about us #while internally declan is like yuya is such a good friend :) i'm glad we're working together #it just doesn't read externally. at all. #he doesn't express himself the same way as other people even if he feels things just as strongly #so when he suddenly confesses his undying loyalty it's out of nowhere but it's also just how he is. do you get it

[fisheito]

watched aegis yaku's r5 and immediately felt the need to balance out the universe [SMUSHES YAKUMO FLAT]

#I THINK AEGIS R5 TAKES THE RECORD FOR LEAST AMOUNT OF FOREPLAY I'VE SEEN IN A YAKU ROOM AHAHAHAHA #i'm still fixated on the background details and trying to figure out what little yakumo decorated his lair with #when all of sudden we're going full force and i'm like WOAH OK DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DEMAND MY ATTENTION THAT FAST GIMME A SECOND TO REFOCUS #the urge to flip yakumo over and just destroy him grows every day. #they tried to appease me with apron r2 but i'm afraid i'm gonna need... m o r e #we must. crush yakumo. (drops eiden and oli on top of him) #have fun trying to escape THAT mass! good luck little snake #oli's thighs will pin u to the ground and u will be immobile until he grants u permission #nu carnival #nu carnival eiden #nu carnival olivine #nu carnival yakumo

[genericpuff]

And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.

I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.

Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!

Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.

But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?

Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.

The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.

The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.

Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.

I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.

As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.

But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.

And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.

If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.

It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".

So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.

Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.

But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.

Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.

We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.

Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?

#also ok i know this turned into a philosophical post but like #i'm still just talking about fucking anime #so please for the love of god i don't want to be seeing anyone using this post as a way to play devil's advocate on real actual war crimes #human conflict in and of itself is an enigmatic inevitability but blatant actions of genocide and colonization are not #and that was made VERY clear by the end of the series through eldians and marlayans putting aside their differences to take out eren #also ymir being in love with king fritz was a bit of a weird thing to do but that's for another post #i think it spoke more to her just being that desperate for connection that she fell into an abusive relationship #but idk it could have been executed better esp because a lot of the 'romance' in AoT is weird #still i really enjoyed the finale tbh and i don't think we're supposed to be left feeling strictly one way about it #the fact that we're arguing over whether or not the finale was good is literally just proving isayama right ngl LOL #attack on titan #attack on titan finale #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin finale #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #essay post #long post #tw genocide #tw war

[frogayyyy]

just some ramblings on the rise of rebranded homophobia in relation to shipping and fandom etc (i watched lotr yesterday)

the way people will say "healthy friendships between men are important and we need representation!!!!" (this is true) in response to shipping as if there's an abundance of mlm relationships in media and yknow. homophobia hasn't existed??

“>:[ us men aren't allowed to be just friends anymore!!!! because of the homophobia!!!! that we created!!!!!!”

i've definitely seen this sentiment grow more again over the last few years as the number of canonical mlm relationships (often badly written or lacking any substance) increases.

before it was just a blatant "no homo" or something but it's now becoming a bit more subtle and "how dare you imply this character could be gay? do you hate men being friends?! go back to your handful of bland designated Gay Characters that we so generously gave you" from the same people who have spent years adding to the very same toxic masculinity and homophobia that stopped them from having deep and healthy friendships with other men in the first place. dare i say gaslighting?

(and just to be extra clear i am not talking about ace/aro people, or characters who are headcanoned as ace/aro, or qprs, etc. or even anyone interpreting a relationship as 'just' platonic. i'm only referring to that specific "no homo" kind of argument against shipping)

#this does apply to all queer identities and relationships btw #and also not just in fandom either this is the rhetoric irl too #but i am specifically thinking of lotr #you know. the book that is literally full of friendships between men. #and yet some people are sooo quick to jump down your throat if you even suggest that a character or relationship might be queer #i say platonic and romantic loosely for lack of better terms but i actually hate using them #(for me personally) #but that's another story #ok it's kind of the same story but i'm not going into it #(i am also not saying that there is no good canon queer representation now) #(there is. but for some reason we're pretending that's there's loads and loads when there's literally not) #(plus just because there may be some now doesn't magically make them appear in older media??) #anyway

[eclaire-went-bam]

although i think it's important to acknowledge the complexities of aro & ace identities, & to be welcoming of aroace identities that may be sex/romance favourable/hypersexual & seek those relationships, i think it's still important to acknowledge that completely romance/sex repulsed aroaces are still a minority in the ace community despite being the stereotype. & we should still listen to those voices,

#i don't have like. Aro Ace Spectrum Demographics but i definitely notice the grand majority of users i (Personally) see are acespec #but a very Few amount of people are the stereotypical romance-repulsed sex-repulsed aroace #& although it's a good thing that those on other parts of the spectrum are recognising their identity & learning more abt themselves #we should still recognise that's a majority in the ace community & should still strive to make apothi aroace ppl feel welcome in spaces #maybe it's just been my experience with the h4zbin h0tel fandom (censoring bcs i don't want drama) but #i Definitely see a lotta people taking apothi aroace ppl expressing discomfort w/ al4stor being shown in ship art (by allos) #& turning it into “you guys know there are OTHER ace identities right 🙄🙄” or “that's just how the internet is !” #which yes i think almost all of us are Well aware of other ace identities. espec if we're active in ace communities #& no the internet doesn't Have to be that way. just like how the internet is a whole lot less homophobic than how it used to be #instead of actually ??? listening to our points ? a lot of people only seem to listen to us when we absolutely hamfist the whole “it's ok to #be x y or z too!“ into every single message #just so people don't immediately antagonise us for raining on their fictional ship or sumn #this make sense ? #aromantic #asexual #aroace #sex repulsed #romance repulsed #lgbtqia #idk if this comes off as whiney since it's from said apothi aroace individual. “listen to me NOW !!!” but uhhm if so ? idgaf whatever

[kinneys]

jason and marie: touch

#society. we have to hunt tony gilroy for sport #sorry I coloured these all very differently for some crazy reason. well I have lost my mind <3 but this is soothing to me #jason bourne #marie kreutz #bourne #jason x marie #my stuff #my bourne stuff #i'm afraid making this made me Deleted Cheesy Christian Rock AMV Ending-pilled. i think it's good #my primary emotion is still absolute hysterics imagining Universal executives watching it being like ok we're making this guy reshoot the #ending firing him from the sequels and killing her in minute sixteen of the next one just to be safe. #really makes you think. and is the final ending more in character and in tone of the movie? yes. #but i have to hand it to doug liman. he died for me in some ways