#ok i think im all tuckered out now lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bongkillua · 6 months

Note

im SUPER late to the ask game however. 5 & 9 for all of them

anon you are never too late i love talking abt these guys and these r rly good questions

5. How did you figure out your oc’s identity?

TUCKER - Tucker's has definitely ebbed and flowed with my own identity! He initially had a very different backstory that was explicitly about him being a stealth and closeted gay trans man. the way i played him made it so that it didnt really work for him to be trans but i hate playing cis characters so there was some weird magic and memory shit involved to make it work. but it just didnt make sense with the reworked story. took it as an opportunity to make him more openly trans but he was still an exclusive gay man for a while. and well then xander came around and i realized i was bisexual so now tucker is unlabeled because i just know hes going to keep changing with me. but like i truly dont think his character can wholly by separated from Gay Trans Man because so much of his personality and identity was built around that in the beginning.

XANDER - i made xander for the sole purpose of having fun with him. like seriously i made him for a school assignment because i didnt have a "cunty, whorish enough" character for the assignment and then she just stuck around so like... her identity has always just been "whatever is fun!" in the beginning he was like explicitly transmasc but i was playing around with using she/her pronouns for myself again so i gave them to xander to see if it would help me gain more confidence and it did! as i fleshed her out more tho her backstory started to rly revolve around changing identity and like specifically masculinity vs. femininity and how she performs both, and wuth that came the idea of transitioning back and forth over periods of time. because of THAT i wanted her to be really into drag because thats what drag is all about... and because shes rly into drag i wanted to explore her relationship to the transFEMININE experience because drag really cant be separated from that. so ive rly focused on embodying binary identities as performance for her gender. and because she sleeps around a lot ive just made her super fluid in terms of sexuality. shes not picky!

JORDAN - jordan was a he/they from the jump but i struggled a lot with their design and development for like YEARS but once i finally started fleshing them out i was immediately like "nah this guy prefers they/them and tacks he on for normies" and it genuinely helped me solidify his perception of not only their own identity but also life in general? theyre very "go with the flow because theyre extremely confident in themself and dont care how others perceive them". and then bisexual just seemed Right. idk. he sorta embodies "cool bisexual kid in high school that helps u realize ur also queer" and i just kinda went with the stereotype lol. also he seems like a Megan Fox Enjoyer.

KONAMI - i designed konami at a time where i was rly interested in the intersection of neurodivergence and queerness so his identity was def informed by that! along with queerness in childhood as a theme. ive always associated aesthetics like his with the rise in usage of neopronouns (in a good way!) so it just made sense to have them use it/its. if i wasnt a coward id throw some more fun pronouns on there but konami is also just a little guy so i honestly default to he/him a lot in the same way that you'd refer to like. a dog. and once again bisexual just made sense. i established pretty early on that his parents were super accepting of him being trans (konami was a binary trans guy when he was alive!) so i feel like sexuality just wasnt a huge concern for him.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE UNDERLYING PREMISE OF WOLFSBANE SO HERE WE GO LOL

TUCKER- ok so the more independent tucker became as a character the more i really leaned into how lycanthropy influences his identity and specifically his queerness. its always been a big part of his story but i rly got to Focus on it once he was mine and mine alone. so in wolfsbane lycanthropy is like. almost directly a metaphor for neurodivergence and like. how do i say this. Being Weird And Feeling Wrong As A Child. which you could argue also makes it a metaphor for transness but like i feel like his lycanthropy makes him trans in other separate ways? like lycanthropy in wolfsbane canonically causes an increase in testosterone production so tucker naturally has facial hair and body hair and a rly deep voice and "male-aligned" body fat distribution. despite being afab. and thats like a big struggle in the story bc his father wants him to Hide that but tucker is very Confident in that, both because he wants to embrace being a werewolf but ALSO because it gives him gender euphoria. and it takes him a LONG time to figure out that those are simultaneously separate things ("im not trans i just look like this!" (you are. you are trans)) and also intrinsically tied (transness as a feeling of Other as opposed to a distinct Gender Identity). AUGH idk if that makes sense. sexuality works pretty similarly. tucker has to repress a lot of himself because his family is scared that his lycanthropy will make him unruly and uncontrollable, and that he will hurt WHOEVER he loves. and in trying to control him they want him to Assimilate (aka Be Heterosexual). so he faces a similar struggle where he spends a long time trying to figure out if hes queer because he Likes Men or if hes queer because he Likes People, BOTH of which have been withheld from him.

XANDER- xander is an energy vampire and relies a lot on the balance between Taking and Giving. this means that he has to hide his true identity and give people a false one in order to get what he needs from them. and when you are performing an identity day in and day out is it really a performance anymore? or is it such a performance that it cant possibly be who you are? so thats like the Central struggle that vampirism invokes onto his identity. sexuality works similarly (can you tell that i have a hard time distancing gender from sexuality?) where he spends so much time forging these fake bonds and hooking up with anyone who will give him the time of day that he really doesnt have the time, energy, or maturity to figure out who he's Truly attracted to. her constant need to perform makes it nearly impossible for her to feel authentic in any way.

JORDAN- im gonna start sounding like a broken record at this point but my understanding of transness and queerness is so far removed from the idea of gender itself that i have no choice but to talk about identity as a whole. SORRY. anyways jordan's identity is heavily influenced by his schizophrenia and his dad. and the way THAT influences him is that he wants to Minimize his body because they do not feel attached to their body at all. and Maximize his ability to Reflect his Father because those experiences were the most important to him. so like. really thinking about it now i feel like a big reason why they even identify as transmasc is a. They Need To Remove Any Unnecessary Part Of Their Body NOW And That Means The Tits Have Got to Go amd b. he can distance himself from who he was as a child and align himself with his FATHER who is like the most important and influential figure in his life. in terms of sexuality they're kind of similar to xander but like the reverse side of the coin? They are so authentically themself that its hard for them to find room in their life for another person. so like while jordan identifies as bisexual i often say they also align themself with aromanticism because romance is just very difficult for him to figure out. a lot of the times it boils down to utility over attraction. which works for some people! (tucker) and not for others (all of his ex's).

KONAMI- konami died and forgot what gender and sexuality were. i explain this more HERE but because of konami's history it doesnt have a reference point for what gender Is. so a lot of his identity boils down to concepts as opposed to things like masculinity and femininity. i really want to do more deep exploration into how tucker, xander, and jordan's queerness influences konami's own identity as well as his perception of gender and identity but i guess for a quick answer he latches onto Connecting Words before he latches onto Individual Labels. so things like "dad" and "aunt" make more sense to him than "man" and "woman" because they have a purpose and a role attached to them. but then again those roles have been defined by queer people who don't perfectly fit into the Status Quo of that role but enact/perform it in unique and nuanced ways. this is also why he more quickly latches onto "son" and "boy" (and specifically how boy fits into a Family structure) than any other gendered labels. again like ive stated before, bisexual came pretty easily because with a lack of gender awareness just came an understanding that gender wasn't a factor in regards to attraction. hence bisexual.

this is so long omfg but what it all boils down to is um. my relationship to queerness is founded on experience, intersectionality, and bodily autonomy, not gender as its own concept. so nonhuman identities (and sometimes just Different Human identities) are always going to influence identity and Be A Metaphor for HOW experience influences identity and vis versa.

#tucker #xander #jordan #konami #wolfsbane #i hope this makes sense christ almighty #category 6 million autism event #anoff #blurry answers #mine

1 note · View note

whatthefuckisasweep · 3 years

Note

Grif

For the character ask! Sorry this took me a while, I can't copy and paste on mobile, so I waited till I got on desktop tumblr! Thank you so much for asking about him, I could go on forever lol so this is gonna be fucking LONG. Please, anyone, feel free to ask about any other character, too. These are fun.

Why I like them: Grif is, for lack of a better word, complex. On one hand, it's like, okay he's just a funny comedy character. But on the other hand, he's like every all of my favorite archetypes of a character. He's crafty but stupid, selfish but selfless, antisocial but friendly, the straight man but the dramatic guy, he's snarky but oddly caring: the reluctant hero. It's kind of paradoxical, and I feel like not only do I relate to him, but I just really enjoy him overall. Whether it's because he's a good brother, being a complete dickbag because he doesn't know how to handle emotions, being a complete cynic on the battlefield, or being hyperactive and snappy, it's just... ah. He. Everything in his life just happens, and he has to deal with it, and yeah he'll kick and pout and probably eat everything but in the end, he's gonna choose his family and he cares deeply... even when he can't really show it.

Why I don’t: I see this a lot in myself too - the fact that he's impulsive and inherently negative when he speaks specifically. his words don't match his actions. He often doesn't hesitate when it comes to making negative comments because they are easier than saying something nice, but what his intentions are are completely different. in other words, he's a jerk, lol. Especially in season 15. I know people felt bad for him because he was partially right and went insane on Iris, but he lowkey deserved it. He said he hated his friends, and even his closest friend. He didn't want to admit that he was a good person just because he didn't want to help. yeah, it was valid, but he needs to learn how to make a case without fucking everyone emotionally and being so clammed up. >:/ sometimes it feels like he regresses in character, as much as he's matured. i guess that's realistic and just the writers making comedy, but also the way he handles Doc specifically irks me. so mean spirited for no reason, as funny as it is.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): OH MY GOD, okay, literally, every single episode with Grif starring as a main is fucking gold. I think for this I'm going to say, uh, This One Goes to Eleven. Even though it's not Grif-centric, it's the episode that's my favorite overall because it introduced me to RvB and made me like Grif right away, simply because he was attacked so much and I felt so bad for him. Another great one that sticks out right now in my sleep deprived state, is Grif does a Rescue. Augh. And the episode where Grif and Simmons get stuck underground in the caves.

Favorite season/movie: Season 8 (shotgun!!!, hyperactive ai grif), Season 11 (hanging in the canyon with simmons), Season 4 (the tank and blue simmons w/ grif), Season 5/6 (kai and rat's nest), Season 12/13 (the recruits, grif building the snowmen), Season 14 (backstory with simmons, Room Zero), Season 15 (you know why)

Favorite line: OK, don't make me choose. There are SO many that are good!!! I think one of my most favorite things that Grif says is "yoink!" It's so adorable! I also really enjoy "BLUEEE TEAAAAM SUCKKKKKS" with his epsilon double, the whole "invisible nap" scene, "what are we, on a date?"/"I can tell you what we weren't doing", "no one made me, I made me", "WERE GONNA FUCKING DIE" when charging at the meta, "that's a figure of speech?" [when carolina says im so hungry i could eat a horse is a figure of speech], "dexta grif he who shall not be messed with!"... I'm sure I'm missing a lot, he has SO many snarky funny lines, but these are some off the top of my head.

Favorite outfit: LOL THIS IS SUCH A FUNNY QUESTION BECAUSE THIS IS RVB. HAHAHA. Uh. Season 6 probably. I just like Halo 3 Graphics. Also s14 Room Zero because THEY DREW HIM FAT CANONICALLY. THANK YOU.

OTP: I'm with the majority of people in the fandom who like Grimmons! I think Grimmons is the only ship that I really vocally ship with my whole heart besides OC ships. I just very much enjoy their dynamic -- it's very angsty, dialogue full, intimate yet so unspoken. It's just a really good pair to write about and see the development of through canon. And, not to mention... season 15... hrk...

Brotp: I really REALLY want grif/tucker, grif/church, grif/locus BROTP. SO SO SO BAD. I've always seen grif and tucker as bros, grif and church are HILARIOUS together and we were ROBBED of more time together, and grif and locus are fucking adorable.

Head Canon: I have a lot of headcanons about Grif, but one of my favorite ones is that he has half-lidded eyes, like he's always sleepy. I also headcanon him as bisexual, though I think that is a popular headcanon!

Unpopular opinion: I dunno if I have super unpopular opinions about Grif... maybe that I think that his labryinth wasn't as bad as it seems at first? A lot of people seemed to think that though, yknow. Like if you look deeply into it, it's actually kinda fucked. But I feel like we should have gotten the Hawaii scene anyways. Hm. I also didn't like how they altered the canon so that Grif wasn't drafted. I think it does add something to his char that he chose to go, but I always really liked the aspect that Grif didn't control that, and yet he still did this on purpose. He was good on purpose.

A wish: A badass Grif carchase scene for the love of FUCK. We need to have him drive more stuff !!!!!!!!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Have him betray the reds -- i think every other red has betrayed the team at some point. please god for the love of god dont do this to grif. it really adds and says something about his character that he doesn't ever betray his team.

5 words to best describe them: (eye roll) eh. fuck it.

My nickname for them: this isn't really my nickname, since I mostly just call him grif -- but 'gif'. It's cute, and my QPP came up with it! I also really like dex. augh

#rvb #grif #dexter grif #red vs blue #ask #asks #thank you for this #sorry for the length you just gave me a place to infodump #and i really thank u for this

39 notes · View notes

constellaj · 3 years

Note

Have any of the Phandom ever pointed out how it doesn't look good that a good portion of the human bullies are people of color? Like, I want to think it's unintentional on the writers part, but aside from Tucker and Valerie, who started out as a mean girl, every other not white character is a jerk

ok a) yes and this is a hartman hate club but. b)

-the main bully, like THE singular bully, is dash, who is just a rich white blonde man

-kwan is actively shown to be the ‘nicer’ of the bullies, hes forgiving and kind and gentle a lot (’hey im sure it was an accident’ and ‘the fluffy clouds all look like footballs’)

-star is also one of the popular bullies and shes white

-paulinas portrayal is messed up in every way (shes like an irredeemable shallow bitch, shes the ‘sexy latina’ stereotype, etc...) but at least she is a love interest sometimes instead of a straight up villain (for me personally i think her self-centered ‘bitchy’ attitude is actually perfect and i love her for it although i do understand that the writers were probably not celebrating it)

-the only other casper high characters we see are danny, jazz, sam, val, and tuck. danny and jazz are siblings so if one was white the other ‘had’ to be white (eschewing adoption and mixed race kids). sam is jewish (although a lot of ink could be spilled on the shitty implications of writing a jewish character who is secretly rich). val is written a LOT like an ‘angry black woman’ stereotype before she becomes the huntress, but she does genuinely get am arc and becomes a close friend of danny (for a time anyway). and of course tucker is black.

yes it seems very disproportionate and i dont want to defend it but i think its worth pointing out that we may be conflating the number of characters in Danny’s friend group with the number of characters in the popular kids. we SEE more popular kids by and large because danny only has sam and tucker; dash, star, kwan, paulina, dale(?), other miscellaneous background bullies, valerie, etc etc (its also worth noting that a lot of unnamed bullies are white). when you take the main trio and the main 4 bullies (and we count sam be jewish as nonwhite), dannys friend group is actually only 30% white while the bullies (dash, star, paulina, kwan) are 50% white; and even in that group, kwan is (as previously mentioned) played as more of a big softie half the time

the QUANTITY of characters of color in the popular kids is higher, yeah, but thats because theres a larger group. a group of 200 people will have more poc than a group of 5 people just because thats how numbers work

of course this doesnt excuse the writers for playing into a lot of shitty stereotypes to pull this off (sexy latina, angry black woman, secretly rich sjw jew) (weird how that only happens with women :thinking emoji:) but i dont necessarily think that the villains are disproportionately poc. and thats only considering students at casper high; when you factor in ghosts the ratio tips hard into all-white

(vlad, betrand, and spectra have human forms that are definitively white; freakshow is white; sidney poindexter (and HIS bullies) are white (/italian, however you count that); technus’s facial structure is very white; johnny 13 (and potentially kitty) are also p clearly meant to be white; the only times you can say a ghost ISNT white is when it deliberately relates to the backstory ie with desiree (which again, is another stereotype but right now we’re only looking at numbers) or hotep-ra. the ghosts are also always bigger antagonists than the humans bc thats the main point of the draw)

like yeah a good portion of the human bullies ARE poc but thats just because we know more bullies than we know friends of danny (loser nerd has no friends lol). im not trying to defend it and say it isnt problematic at ALL per se but i do think its worth noting that in terms of numbers its not really. THE worst it could be. when i started watching dp for the first time i was actually impressed by how many poc attended casper high; i couldnt believe that the main popular girl love interest wasnt white. theres a lot of representation in the background cast too. no it sure isnt perfect and we can definitely do better now (and we probably could have done better than) but i definitely dont think it was malicious.

again also worth restating: the only main recurring irredeemable asshole at the popular table IS dash. paulina’s just a ditz and dannys allowed to crush on her; kwan is baby (literally); valerie has an entire arc. dash, the white boy, is the singular student whos defining trait is being an asshole; even when you THINK hes having development (pirate radio, micro management) he completely undoes it by the end of the episode. i think making the whitest popular kid also the biggest most irredeemable bully was a sick call (also mr lancer is a strong antagonist oftentimes in casper high and he is also white; principal ishiyama isnt white but shes never an antagonist while lancer is)

all in all i like that dp just has a lot of characters of color and its never really addressed like tucker just Is Black and sam just Is Jewish its never like a thing(TM). again i keep saying it but this doesnt excuse it, i just dont think its like, horrible or anything. u can be critical of media and recognize its flaws while also recognizing its successes and not assuming its automatically doing the worst thing it could

#i repeated myself a lot but hopefully the idea got across #i feel like some ppl in the fanndom want to be hyper critical of everything all the time #and while im a fan of scrutiny i do think its worth pointing out when it could go too far #Anonymous

42 notes · View notes

sanchoyo · 3 years

Text

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 1-2 thoughts! I had to split up my season 3 watch awkwardly because the second part of it was too picture heavy and tumblr only wants you to have 10 pictures per post, per the No Fun Allowed Rule. :/ I was planning on just doing 1-6 then 7-13, but, it'll probably be split into 3 posts now... (along with a follow up thoughts post after I finish and think on it for a lil while...)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-vlad got a new mansion. and the guys in white IMMEDIATELY BREAKS IN AND STARTS SMASHING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING, DESTROYING HIS NEW MANSION KAJDFHSSKADJKJN. NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. 'the greatest practical joke ever' TUCKER YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT.

-'DAnnY FenTon MadE mE ThE LaugHINg StOCk oF WisCONsIn' if you dont shut up. you made yourself a laughing stock. love the cute pink hotel room. also, Vlad's Naked on The News. VLAD BUYING THE NASTY BURGER TO TEAR IT DOWN. the way they keep escalating these..pranks? IS TEARING DOWN A BUISSNESS A PRANK?? (the metric by which I decide if its a prank is if its funny to me or not. vlads house being torn down? funny prank. local burger place being torn down? maybe not. MAYBE the naked on the news prank was pushing it because he WAS in a hotel just, minding his own business, but like, he stays bothering danny for no reason when danny is just minding his own business, too! its not right but there IS a sense of vindication here. yknow?

-...'at least now he's channeling his sociopathic lonely bachelor energy into something positive!' this is unironically an insult to actual sociopathic people. 'but he doesnt care about other people!' 'and thats why he'll make a great politician!' BRUTAL. but not untrue? I mean, this is not at ALL surprising. hes a billionaire via cheating and lying, and already a huge Slimeball. So yeah, politician is 100% right.

-but did vlad move to amity park? I might be wrong about this, or illinois laws might be different, but I kinda assumed if you're running for election for mayor in a town, that you had to live within the voting jurisdiction and be registered to vote there. I mean, he's temporarily in a hotel and technically displaced rn (...I thought for sure he'd have more vacation homes...) so I guess there's probably a grace period to find a permanent home in amity park?

-ME, CHEERING DANNY ON EVERY SINGLE TIME HE BEATS VLAD UP, BEING SO PROUD OF MY SON:

-'hes overshadowing the voters!' why...are you surprised, danny???? election fraud is Nothing. did you forget he stole BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

-ok the school uniforms are kinda cute tho lol.

-NO TEENAGERS ALLOWED IN THE NEW RESTURAUNT?? WHAT KIND OF BUISSNESS IS THAT,, SO PETTY. tucker straight up tearing off the security camera. king of property destruction

-vlad trying to make life hell. For a 14 year old. who is trying to genuinely apologize and offer a truce (despite all the creepy and fucked up things vlad has done to him and his family). what the fuck can I even say about this. I think i've said several times while watching 'what the fuck is wrong with you', i need a stronger statement.

-Teens Against McMasters! Fries Not Lies! I want to see vlad get mauled by teens. I want them to start Throwing Rocks.

-vlad saying 'dudes' is the worst thing I've ever heard.

-danny overshadowing the clone was GENIUS AND MAKING HIMSELF LOOK INJURED. SO PROUD OF YOUUUU. USE HIS OWN TACTICS AGAINST HIM. GET HIS ASS.

-frostbite's design is really interesting. ghost...bones... incased in ice?? anyway im so glad danny is getting more hugs :)

-oh, they basically worship(?) or put danny on a pedestal because he defeated pariah?? well IM happy for him having more ghosts that are friendly to him :) also, sam and tucker's lil snow jackets...super cute.

-more ghost lore!!! THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS A GHOST PORTAL. OF COURSE.

-VLAD ACTUALLY DID GET A CAT AWWW KITTY I WUV U KITTY. who he plays chess with...okay, you know what, thats so valid. and actually, pets are usually actually good for mental health, you have a lil guy to care for and they can give u a reason to try ur best so u can provide for them, and they are always good for comfort...good job, vlad!! next go to therapy. 'if anyone asks, you're my sister's cat!' so does he actually HAVE a sister? can she come beat him up

-sam is Right. they shouldve immediately taken the map back to frostbite! but I get it, exploring Can Be Fun

-'carnivorous canyon' in the ghost zone is just mystery flesh pit

-vlad is going to burn a 14 year old girl at the stake. you know, I half expected clockwork to come up and stop this, because they're fucking with time, BUT. nope. this is nbd, I guess.

-well, blood blossoms are terrifying. I know 'ive never eaten a vegetable in my life!' was tucker being hyperbolic, but this kid is going to get so many digestive problems if he doesnt Start Eating Healthier.

-...vlad wanted to go to rome and be a god?? I want to know where he self-inserted himself in their already established pantheon. what did he say he was the god of??

-VLAD SET THE ENTIRETY OF ROME ON FIRE. SO THEY PROBABLY ASSUME GOD OF DESTRUCTION. GOD OF ASSHOLERY.

-how embarrassing, to swordfight a 14 year old and struggle to win. lmfao they keep running vlad off every place he tries to take over

-'if i can destroy the first airplane, man will never fly and I will rule the air!' VLAD. DO YOU THINK. DO YOU THINK THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE TO THINK OF AND CONCEPTULIZE FLIGHT???! oh my god he is so dumb. people have always been trying to fly even before that, and even if you destroyed (1) plane its not like no one else could make one??? as if people hadn't already been making hot air balloons since the 1700s??? or coming up with concepts, and studying on how to make them work? starting to think vlad shouldve paid attention in college and not been so fixated on maddie. or, I dunno, read a book in his huge library...(I mean, I dunno what he majored in or studied in college, but it obviously wasnt history...)

-vlad getting his ass kicked by snow dogs and getting shidded on by a pigeon :)

-'hes got more in common with us than he realizes!' DANNY IS A YETI??? CONFIRMED (no,, but I hope that means we'll see more of the far frozen! I like them :)

-what in the world was this episode tho. like..okay?? vlads plans did not make ANY sense to me, like, was I missing something , or. WHY is he so fixated on Ruling all of the sudden...sure he might be power-hungry, feeling powerless can do that and I'm sure the accident/being abandoned made him feel that way, but its always felt like his real end goal was just to steal jack's family out of jealousy and spite, not to like. um,, rule rome I guess. ?? theres No Maddie In Rome, Vlad.

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

7 notes · View notes

paranetics · 4 years

Note

hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!

17. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.

“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.

“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.

Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.

“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”

“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”

She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”

“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”

Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.

“Nessa’s having a party--”

“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.

“--with alcohol--”

“Double ugh.”

“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.

“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.

“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.

He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.

Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.

It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.

Kai pretends to think about it.

“Fine,” he grits out.

“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”

“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”

But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.

His phone buzzes.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

mirakat added humantorchkai to the group

abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?

lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore

mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library

mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool

mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin

mirakat: dam hes drivin u

abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?

humantorchkai: yeah

humantorchkai: when?

lochnessa: Friday.

Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.

“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.

Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”

Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”

“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”

The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.

The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.

It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.

It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.

Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.

He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.

So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: should i bring da weed

reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah

lochnessa: No LSD though

speedyskeet: :O

speedyskeet: um ok MOM

reever: wtf ness

reever: psychedelic rights!!!

speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!

mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party

mirakat: or was tht a different school

speedyskeet: .........

speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right

Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.

Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.

Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.

Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.

“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.

“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully.

Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.

Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.

But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.

Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.

Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.

His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.

Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”

“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.

Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”

Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.

“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”

“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”

“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.

“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”

“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”

“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.

“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.

“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.

“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.

Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.

Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.

adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?

kai: dam i swear its fine

kai: i’d say something if it was a problem

kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy

adam: Lol

adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]

“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.

“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.

“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”

“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”

“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.

“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”

“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”

“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.

“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines.

“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”

“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.

“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”

“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”

Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”

“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”

Mira perks up. “You think?”

“He said ‘good’.”

“What should I say back?”

“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”

Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”

Mira takes out her phone.

adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]

adam: Winky face

kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out

adam: Don’t make me frowny face

Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.

He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.

“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”

“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”

“Hm.”

She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.

“That’s better, I think,” she says.

“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.

“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”

Kai shuts the door in her face.

His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.

He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.

Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”

He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.

He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.

“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.

“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.

They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.

His phone buzzes.

“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.

“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.

mira: WHERE

mira: R

mira: U

mira: 2

mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.

kai: WE’RE

kai: FUCKING

(Not sent !) kai: GETTING

(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS

mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????

Kai groans.

The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.

The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house.

Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.

Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.

“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.

Kai groans, flushing.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”

Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.

“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”

“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”

“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.

Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art.

“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.

Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think.

Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.

“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.

Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”

He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.

“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.

She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”

Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”

Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.

Mira laughs at him.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery

mirakat: no

lochnessa: No

abeaverdam: Nope!

humantorchkai: no

reever: nah

speedyskeet: fucking L lmao

speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then

Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa.

He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.

His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.

Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.

He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,

and spins,

and spins.

And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.

So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?

Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.

“Uh,” Kai says.

Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.

“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”

Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.

“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”

“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.

Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.

“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”

But they don’t answer.

Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.

They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.

Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.

The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.

This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.

Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.

So Kai does the only thing he can think of.

“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”

Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously.

Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.

reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]

(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!

(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US

(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!

reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either

(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT

“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”

“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”

Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.

Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.

“Careful!” Adam barks.

Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.

He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.

“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”

Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.

“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.

The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.

Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.

Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.

Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.

The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.

Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”

“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”

Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.

adam: hey uh

adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol

adam: i didn’t mean it

Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.

He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much.

Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.

Kai had left because.

Well, because.

Because he feels played.

Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.

So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.

He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.

Fuck.

reeb: ok i give

reeb: wtf is going on

kai: ?

reeb: don’t “?” me mfer

reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA

kai: i’ve been busy, sorry

kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon

reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me

kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome

reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]

He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.

“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.

Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.

“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”

Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.

Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.

Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.

Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”

Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”

Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.

“So... we’re cool?”

Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”

“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.

He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.

“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.

“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.

“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.

“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.

“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”

Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.

“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.

“I didn’t...”

Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.

Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.

“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.

Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time.

Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.

“How long?”

Kai blinks. “Huh?”

“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.

Ah. The million dollar question.

“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”

Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.

Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.

“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”

Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.

“Okay,” he squeaks out.

Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts.

And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.

Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.

He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed.

Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME

mirakat: omfg

mirakat: k & a suckin face in library

mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]

speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too

lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo

speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....

reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???

reever: ?????

lochnessa: What planet do you live on

speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb

locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI

reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF

mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me

“I hate them all,” Kai announces.

Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft.

“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”

send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!

#The Hollow #My writing #answer #kaidam

140 notes · View notes

reallydumbdannyphantomaus · 5 years

Text

Switch

hell yeah, here i am with chapter four my good bitches! i hope to start cranking these out every other tuesday, but don’t hold me to that lol. nonetheless, please enjoy the fourth chapter, in which danny considers kwan

(masterpost)

Chapter 4

When Danny woke up Sunday morning, the pain in his side had receded to a dull ache. Lifting his shirt, he felt along the tender area, which had been purple and swollen last night but was now yellowed and even. He prodded his ribcage. It hurt, sure, but it was a far cry from last night’s mind-numbing agony.

He took a deep breath. Held it. Let it out. A burn in his side, but otherwise it was fine.

“What the hell,” he said to himself. Was it a new ghost power? Should he text Kwan about this? Or would that be weird?

“Hey Danny?” Jazz said through his door, rapping her knuckles on the frame. He jerked his head up at the noise, shoving down his pajama shirt to cover the bruise.

His voice cracked. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?”

“Uh, sure.”

The door swung open with a creak and Jazz stepped in, closing it behind her with a soft click . She hesitated, then moved to join Danny on the bed.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you lately,” she said.

He looked away. “What are you talking about?”

Jazz raised an eyebrow at him. “Danny. I’ve driven you to school since Wednesday. You would never willingly spend that much time with me unless you were avoiding something—or someone —else.”

Danny winced and stared at his hands.

Sighing, Jazz placed her hand on his knee. “Look, I’m not trying to force you to talk to me. But you should talk to Sam and Tucker. They’ve been your friends for years. You can’t honestly tell me you’re okay with losing them like this. Because you will lose them if you keep this up.”

As she spoke, Danny hunched over further. “What can I even say to them?”

“Try the truth,” Jazz said, “even if the truth is that you can’t tell them just yet. If they’re the friends you think they are, they’ll understand.”

“Even Sam?”

“Yeah,” she said with a chuckle, “even Sam.”

Danny hugged himself.

“Just… think about it, okay?” Jazz said. She tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and Danny leaned into the touch. “You’ll be okay, little brother.”

“Thanks,” Danny said around the lump in his throat. Jazz lingered, rubbing his shoulder for a moment, before she pressed a kiss to his forehead and walked out.

Rolling over on the bed, Danny picked up his phone off the nightstand and pulled up his messages, scrolling back through the ones from Sam and Tucker over the past few days.

From: Sam

hey danny where’d you go? you vanished after lunch

dude you ok

dude

are you seriously ignoring us

what the fuck danny

youre getting rides from jazz to avoid us???

seriously did we do something wrong?

danny please just talk to us

From: Tucker

sam’s wigging out cause you ran out at lunch. you good?

hey dude not trying to pry but youve been mia today are you ok

we’re still on for thursday right

dude this is not cool

Then there was the message he’d sent them both on Thursday letting them know he wouldn’t make it, and a flurry of messages after that asking him what was going on. All of which he’d ignored. He hadn’t been able to hide his issues from them, so he’d hid from them altogether.

But Jazz was right. He owed his friends an explanation, even if all he had was a shitty one.

To: Tucker

hey dude. im really sorry ive been ghosting you. and its not ok and i get that. and i do have a reason, but i cant really tell you what it is. not yet at least. im so sorry dude tho and i will buy you your weight in nasty burgers to make up for it

Danny sent the message, heart pounding. He felt like he’d had ten cups of coffee, jittery and refreshing his messages over and over to see if Tucker had replied.

And Tucker would be the easy one here.

After an eternity of a minute, his phone buzzed.

From: Tucker

hey, it’s ok

i mean im still kinda mad i guess

but i’ll get over it once you buy me those burgers im sure

Letting out a long breath, Danny allowed himself to smile. Tucker was a great friend.

From: Tucker

and i’m here whenever you want to talk about it

To: Tucker

thanks. and when im ready, you’ll be the first to know i promise

But now he had to apologize to Sam, who could turn grudge-holding into an Olympic event. She was amazing to have as a friend: fun and funny and loyal and kind, and Danny wanted to make up with her, but she got over things on her own schedule. There was little Danny could do to speed it along beyond apologizing.

To: Sam [Draft]

hey, i’m really sorry i never responded to any of your texts and was avoiding you for the past few days. you and tucker both deserved better than that, and i’m sorry. and i’m also sorry that i still can’t really tell you whats going on with me. i don’t really understand it myself yet, but it has nothing to do with you or tucker and everything to do with me. but i am sorry

Danny paused, finger hovering over the send button. It did have a little bit to do with her, after all, and what she’d said in the lunchroom. But she had no idea he’d even heard that, and would hardly be fair for him to continue holding that against her. She was worried about him because she cared. She didn’t deserve for him to keep holding what had happened before against her.

He took a deep breath and hit send.

She didn’t respond right away like Tucker. She’d told him once before that she never texted when angry or else she might say something she’d regret. It would be a while before she cooled off enough to talk to him again.

Even though he knew it would happen, he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding at every second that went by without a response. He pulled up some slow music and laid back down in his bed, closing his eyes and praying for sleep he knew wouldn’t come.

-----

Danny spent the day in his room, catching up on all the homework he’d ignored the past week. He still turned invisible and intangible sometimes without warning, but it didn’t matter as much when his door was closed.

It was extra practice; the more he did it, the more he could identify the electric hum in his veins and separate it from his normal energy. Invisibility was a high pitched buzz under his skin, intangibility was a lower frequency, and normal was in the middle. To stop them from popping up when he didn’t want, he had to keep it at the middle frequency.

It was a lot easier than even two days ago, for sure. He could mostly keep the buzz in the back of his mind now. Stressing too much about it sent the frequencies all out of whack, so if he kept his mind clear, he could keep it under control. He’d even slept through the night without falling through his mattress.

He kind of hated that Kwan had been right about it, but he loved feeling even somewhat normal much more.

Danny frowned. Kwan, annoying and dickish though he may be, was strangled for a while yesterday. He’d insisted he was fine, but there could be any number of complications they weren’t aware of. Danny wasn’t sure how much he could trust Kwan’s self-diagnosis.

He should check on him. Just to be sure.

To: Kwan

hows your neck

He threw his phone down on the bed and turned back to his algebra homework, but it buzzed half a second later. He flung himself onto the mattress to reach it, only a slight twinge in his ribs, and unlocked the screen to a new text.

From: Kwan

hurts, but it’s fine

mom’s been freaking out tho. she almost took me to the er but i talked her out of it. she knows i’m lying about how it happened

To: Kwan

oof did you get in trouble

From: Kwan

not yet. i think she thinks the injuries are punishment enough that i won’t do it again

To: Kwan

i certainly hope so. i’m not looking for a repeat of that experience

From: Kwan

same

how’re your ribs

Danny pulled up his shirt again. Twenty-four hours later, the bruises were almost gone. It shouldn’t be possible, but here he was.

He snapped a picture of the damage and typed out another text.

To: Kwan

well, it’s better

[one picture attached]

From: Kwan

what the fuck

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuuuuuucccckkkk

is it a ghost thing do you think

To: Kwan

what else would it be?

From: Kwan

point

shit tho how did this get even weirder

at least you shouldn’t have any trouble wearing your binder to school tomorrow

Danny’s breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t even thought about his binder or school tomorrow—but Kwan had. Kwan had thought about whether Danny would be able to wear his binder, something that was important to Danny but didn’t matter at all to Kwan.

At least, he’d thought it didn’t.

To: Kwan

yeah

Maybe he should say something else, but what could he say? “Thanks for caring”? That would either come off as sarcastic or pathetic, neither of which was ideal.

He locked his phone and laid back on the bed, one arm hanging over his eyes. It buzzed in his hand a minute later and he glanced down to see a new text.

From: Sam

i’m glad ur ok but im definitely still pissed. i’ll let you know when im not

Danny grimaced. Sam wouldn’t talk to him for the next few days, at least. Sam knew herself and her temper; she knew how destructive she could be towards her relationships when she was angry. She only yelled at people she didn’t care about offending. Stressful as it was, her reticence was a good sign.

To: Sam

and i am sorry

From: Sam

i know

-----

A week passed.

Sam thawed toward him around lunchtime on Tuesday. She started pestering him with questions about when he’d be back on for Doomed (he was free that night), how many things exploded in his house over the weekend (six, counting the pie), and if he knew why Kwan looked like he’d gone ten rounds with an extension cord (she didn’t expect him to answer this one).

He still had bouts of invisibility and intangibility, but it was reasonable, and getting easier every day. He turned in his late lab work to Lancer. He carried a beaker on Wednesday without dropping it—after dropping two others on Monday when Sam still refused to look at him, but still. Progress.

Kwan, though. Kwan was another issue.

They met up on Monday again, in the same forest clearing. Danny had thought maybe, after Saturday, they were kinda-sorta something like friends. Bonds forged in the fire of a ghost octopus (ectopus, Kwan had said) battle, and all that. Well, friends was an overstatement. But maybe… friendly acquaintances. The kind that nod to each other in the hallway when no one else is looking.

That afternoon, however, Kwan seldom glanced up from his Sports Illustrated Magazine. It was the exact same copy he’d had before, and he sat under a tree, scanning each page like they would tell him who would win the Superbowl this year, or whatever it was jocks cared about.

The bruises on Kwan’s neck had dulled to a purple-brown by Monday afternoon. His hand would drift up to rub at it every few minutes, and sometimes he would wince as he swallowed, but he never looked at Danny.

It pissed him off.

“Okay, dude, what’s your deal?”

Kwan licked his thumb and flicked the page. “I don’t have a deal.”

“Uh huh. So that’s why you’re rereading the same sports magazine you’ve read like six times before.”

“I learn new things every time.”

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. “What, are you mad at me or something?”

“No.”

“So why the silent treatment?”

“Why the questions?” Kwan flipped the page. “We’re not friends. Why the fuck do you even care?”

Danny huffed. “I don’t, I’m just curious why you’re mad all of a sudden.”

“I’m not mad,” Kwan said. He put down the magazine and gestured to his neck. “But I can’t play in the game this Saturday because of this and Dash isn’t talking to me.”

“Look, dude, I’m sorry about that, but I did the best I—”

Kwan rolled his eyes. “Seriously. Not mad. But we’re not friends dude. I’m never going to talk to you again after this. You’ve already got this pretty much figured out—it’s just practice at this point. I’ll uphold my end of the deal, but I’m not doing anything else that could jeopardize my standing with my friends, capiche?”

“And by ‘anything that could jeopardize your standing’, you mean… talking to me?”

A shrug. “Pretty much.”

“Just a thought: if talking to me could get you kicked out of your friends, maybe they’re shitty friends.”

Kwan picked his magazine back up. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Danny snorted. “And for a second there I almost thought you weren’t a dick. Glad we’ve cleared that up.”

“Whatever.”

On Tuesday, Danny texted Kwan not to bother coming over Thursday. Kwan responded with a thumbs up emoji. Danny almost sent back a middle finger emoji, but instead shoved the phone in his pocket.

Whatever. This was always going to happen. They weren’t friends.

He spent the rest of the week practicing his powers and playing Doomed with Sam and Tucker and then scrambling to do his homework after playing Doomed into the wee hours of the night. He did extra chores around the house for some cash and bought Tucker his promised hamburgers. He wheedled Jazz into helping him buy a fancy plant for Sam’s greenhouse. He slept. He ate.

It was good. It was normal.

He settled.

-----

Last period English was the only time of the day Danny saw Kwan. It had been a week since he’d last spoken to him. He snuck glances at Kwan as Lancer droned on about the green light in The Great Gatsby. Kwan didn’t look at him once.

It wasn’t a cold shoulder, exactly; Danny might have preferred if it was. Kwan wouldn’t ignore him if he asked him something, he was sure. But Kwan wouldn’t offer anything up either. It was the status quo. It was indifference.

It pissed him off.

“So, class,” Lancer said, his marker squeaking across the whiteboard, “who can tell me what the green light is an example of?”

A wave of cold swamped Danny’s body and he gasped, his breath coming out blue-white just like in the woods.

Then, he spotted a green glow outside the window. Flying out across the football field was the ectopus from before. Two rows up, Kwan had gone rigid, head turned toward the window as well. Danny remembered the look on Kwan’s face, turning blue as the ectopus squeezed his neck. Kwan could have died. If Danny hadn’t done something, he would have.

“Mr. Lancer,” Danny said, raising his hand before he could think too long about it. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

Kwan jerked back to look at him, and unreadable look on his face. Danny ignored him

Lancer sighed. “Mr. Fenton, the bell will ring in five minutes. Surely you can wait.”

The ectopus vanished over the stadium. If he didn’t leave now, he’d never find it. “Can’t wait,” he said, running out the door. “See you tomorrow!”

“Mr. Fenton, get back—”

Lancer’s words cut off behind him as the door closed and he raced into the nearest janitor’s closet to transform into his ghost-self. His mouth was dry and bitter, his hands sweaty. He couldn’t believe he was doing this at all, but, if he was going to do it, the last thing he needed was someone recognizing him when he left the school building. His ghost form still looked pretty much the same, but the white hair and the glowing and the flying should throw people off.

At least, he hoped so.

-----

“All right,” he said, floating through the trees, “where did you run off to?”

As he scanned the forest, his flight gave out and he landed on his feet with a thud and a wince as he jarred his ankles.

“Right,” he said, smacking himself in the forehead. “I kinda suck at this still.”

Walking it was.

He’d only been walking for a few minutes when he heard a twig snap behind him. Whirling around, he pulled his fist back to punch—

—and it was Kwan. There in his stupid letterman jacket, lips pressed into a thin line and nostrils flared, storming through the underbrush.

“What the hell?” Danny said, lowering his fist.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Kwan said, jamming his finger into Danny’s chest.. “What happened to keeping all this a secret?”

Grabbing Kwan’s arm, he moved his finger out of the way. “What are you talking about? I didn’t tell anyone.”

“No, you just ran out in the middle of class to go fight a ghost!”

“That’s why I look like this, idiot! No one will recognize me, even if they do see me.”

Kwan dragged a hand down his face. “Dude, you look practically the same.”

“It works for Superman.”

“It works for— Superman is a fictional-fucking-character, shitbrain.”

“Look, I’m not planning on this being a regular thing, okay? But that ghost is still out there. It nearly killed you last weekend, and there’s no guarantee that it won’t try that with someone else. I can’t just let that happen.”

Kwan paced across the ground. “This isn’t your fucking origin story, Fenton. And you don’t even know what that thing wants! Maybe it just wants to chill; ever think of that?”

Sighing, Danny gestured at where Kwan still had a faint bruise. “Tell that to your neck.”

“You’re the one who’s always saying I’m a dick. I probably pissed it off or something.”

“Dude, even if that were true, that doesn’t make this thing safe it that’s how it has a temper tantrum. I have to do something.” Danny was yelling now. He didn’t mean to, he was sure, but he was yelling because Kwan just didn’t get it and how did he not get it? People could die. This meant so much more than their stupid deal.

“No you don’t,” Kwan said. “You don’t have a responsibility or anything like that. You’re just some kid.”

Danny smiled at that, slow and sad. “Don’t I?”

That stopped Kwan’s pacing. “What are you talking about?”

“Kwan. How do you think that ghost got here?”

Kwan sucked in air through his teeth. “The portal.”

Their eyes met.

Danny’s heart clenched in his chest. He pictured Tucker, being flung around by the ectopus. Jazz, her face turning blue. His parents, knocked out cold on the floor of their lab. “We let that thing out. I should probably put it back, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, but… how are you going to do that? Are you just going to drag it by its tentacles around town? Throw it into the portal and hope it stays there? Do you even have a plan?”

Shrugging, Danny turned back to where he’d last seen the ectopus. “I’ll figure it out once I track it down.”

Kwan yelled after him. “Well… well fine, then! Go fight a ghost! Just don’t come crying to me when you die for real.”

As he ran further into the forest, Danny didn’t look back.

#danny phantom #my fic #dp switch #fyi i will start using the dp switch tag for any content related to this story

91 notes · View notes

vennilavee · 6 years

Text

drown the lovers

this is kinda an add on to this thing right here

Pairing: lance tucker x reader

Summary: alcohol, shenanigans, lance, and you.

Word Count: 2009

Warnings: alcohol, adult situations

A/N: UmmMMMM this is my attempt in writing smut. there’s no smut in this part because i’m...still working to writing that lmao pls bear with me ok IM SHY. there will definitely a part II. listen to drown the lovers by R I T U A L and 6LACK PLS let me know what you think lol

You and Lance are both social butterflies and even though the pair have been together for a few years now, you both would choose a Friday night out with friends more often than a night in.

That’s not to say that the two of you didn’t have your fair share of lazy nights.

You both enjoy teasing each other when you went out, with barely there kisses, hands hovering over each other but not quite where you wanted them. He likes watching you mingle with his friends and you like watching him mingle with yours.

Desire is pooling in the both of you before you guys had even left your apartment. You almost suggested ditching your mutual friends and staying in- he looked so delicious in his dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up neatly to his elbows and his khakis.

Little did you know that the same suggestion was on the tip of his tongue. Lance was certain you did this on purpose- you knew how much he liked those dark jeans on you and that silky, shimmery pink top that only hints at your cleavage.

Lance is certain that your cherry red lipstick will end up somewhere on his skin before the end of the night, and he looks forward to it.

Tossing back the shot of Tequila and biting into your lime slice, you wince for a moment. You like Tequila, you really do, but it’s been a while. It burns, but the burn fades away and you’re left with drunkenness.

The first time you tossed back three consecutive Tequila shots without fail, Lance openly gaped at you and said he knew you were a freak- because who in their right mind could do that so painlessly?

You’re usually the one buying shots and drinks when you go out- something Lance tried dissuading you from doing in the beginning. Just so you don’t make a dent in your wallet whenever you went out. He’s even tried holding on to your wallet when you don’t bring a purse, but you’re sneaky.

But he doesn’t protest so much anymore. Your generosity knows no bounds, especially when it comes to your friends having a good time.

You find him a few minutes later, making your way over to him. Lance catches your eye, already recognizing your drunken grin and your glassy eyes. You seem to not have noticed that your top is sliding down your chest a little bit and he discreetly fixes your top when you hug him so that nobody but him gets an eyeful of you.

“Thank you, baby,” You murmur into his ear, leaning into him, “Here, I got you a drink.” Your friends have dispersed, giving you some time alone.

“So thoughtful, baby girl,” Lance presses a kiss to your hair and you beam at him in his embrace.

You always responded to praise from him.

It’s when he’s clambering into the Uber after you that Lance realizes how drunk the both of you really are. He’s not surprised, not really- he had seen you take at least three shots of Tequila and he was sure you had drank more.

You used to be able to handle more alcohol, but the older you got, the less you were able to. You were well and proper drunk, giggling at him in the Uber. The pair of you weren’t shy about PDA, but you drew a line usually when it got passed heavy making out.

This time though, Lance knows the Uber driver is keeping his smirk to himself and avoiding eye contact with him in the rearview mirror. Because your lips are all over him, your hands trailing up and down his thighs.

But he’s turning his head so that you miss his lips and for the life of you, you can’t understand why.

Your brown eyes are wide and sad and he feels guilty. He really does. But he doesn’t want to do this when they have a clear audience who is watching intently.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” You ask him in a muted whisper. Except it’s not muted, the Uber driver doesn’t bother concealing his snicker and your voice slurs.

“Baby, we’re almost home,” Lance tries to reason with you but he already sees drunken tears forming in your eyes.

“You haven’t even kissed me all night,” You murmur to yourself. Your bottom lip is starting to tremble and you move away from him, facing the other window. Hands wringing together in your lap and uncertainty painting every fiber of your being, you try your best not to cry.

But a few tears slip out of your eyes.

Lance knows you. He knows when one small thing upsets you when you drink, you start crying. He’s usually not on the receiving end of it- usually a friend will upset you, or you’ll get upset if the McFlurry machine isn’t working when you force him to go with you to McDonald’s with you.

When you two had first started dating, you apologized profusely for it, on the rare occasion it did happen. It was annoying, you were sure, that you would sometimes get upset over nothing. You had gotten better over the years, but this one thing still happened once in a while. He didn’t mind, he really didn’t and he was surprised by that, too. He liked seeing your tough girl facade fall in front of him- you trusted him enough to be vulnerable with him.

But when he was the reason you were upset... his heart lurches.

When you sniffle, he edges closer to you but you won’t look at him.

“Baby girl, please,” Lance pleads with you softly. He tries tugging your chin to face him but you jerk away, leaving him empty.

The rest of the car ride is quiet, but you still let him hold your hand. Lance cautiously pulls you into his side and you melt into him. You seem to have forgotten that you were upset- you’re stroking his thigh absent-mindedly.

But Lance knows you’re playing games with him, and he catches the small smile on your face.

You’ve dropped your keys to your shared apartment with Lance about three times trying to unlock the door. You blame him though- he’s pressed against you, his hands running up and down your waist from under your shirt. His lips are against your neck, pressing kisses there- he even nibble at your earlobe.

You’re not helping though, you push back into him as you bend over to grab your keys for the third time.

Once you finally unlock the door, the both of you stumble into your apartment in a fit of giggles. You kick your flats off and place your purse on the kitchen counter.

“Water?” You ask hoarsely. He nods but before you can fill up a cup for the both of you, he pushes you against the kitchen counter. You look up at him in surprise.

“Can I help you?” You quirk an eyebrow up at him, tilting your head to the side.

“I’m just tryna love on you, baby girl...” Lance tries kissing you but you turn your head with a laugh.

“Now you wanna love on me?” You pout at him. He knows you’re just teasing though, because your hands are trailing up and down his chest.

“I always wanna love on you,” Lance confirms, his hands roaming under your shirt, “I’m sorry I made you cry, that Uber driver was watching and I didn’t want-”

“I just wanted a kiss, Lance,” You pout, your eyes meeting his, “Just a kiss.”

Your red lips are parted slightly and you sigh at him. Lance looks so handsome like this- with his eyebrows knitted in concern, adoration splashed across his face, his hair fluffy from running his hands through it. He mistakes your sigh for frustration. You’re starting to sober up a little, but tipsiness still tints your mind.

Your hand strokes his neck lightly and you take his chin in your hands. Lance can see the slickness of intoxication in your eyes and your playful grin. You press your lips to his forehead, kissing your way down his jawline, nibbling at the spot right below his ear. He moans quietly and you smile into his skin before pushing him away slightly.

His skin is tinted red from your lipstick.

You’re about to head into your bedroom, trying to be coy or something. But he tugs your wrist back to him roughly and your breath catches in your throat.

“Where you going, baby girl? Not even a kiss?” Lance murmurs, pushing you back into his hold against the kitchen counter.

“Nope,” You pop the ‘p’, relishing in the way his blue eyes are alight with desire for you.

His big hands are splayed across your hips. One hand curls around you to squeeze your ass. Your hands find their way to his neck, playing with the hairs there.

You don’t know why the both of you do this. This dance with each other, this dance filled with tension when you both know how deep your affection and desire for each other runs.

You finally push yourself up on your toes and press your lips to his without warning. He gasps into your mouth before responding twice as enthusiastically as you. A moan escapes his lips when you bite down on his bottom lip with a smile. He pulls away for a moment before lifting you up and sitting you down on the counter, so you’re eye-level with him.

Lance locks his lips with you again, and you think you would give up oxygen if that meant that Lance would be kissing you at all hours of the day. His kiss is searing, needy- the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl.

One of the many things you love about Lance is how he throws himself into everything and anything he cares about. When you first started dating, you were a little dizzy from how intense he was with you. You weren’t used to it and you weren’t expecting it.

But you were his queen.

Lance latches onto your neck, pressing his lips to your favorite spots there. You tilt your head to allow him more skin along the column of your neck.

“You smell so good, baby girl,” Lance murmurs. The vibrations of his voice feel nice against your skin.

“It’s that perfume you got me the other day,” You reply, your eyes still closed.

“First time wearing it, right?” He asks, continuing to bite and nip at your neck. He makes his way down to your collarbones as your hands card through his hair. Your skin is hot and you wonder if he realizes how every time he touches you, you feel like you’re on fire.

“All for you, baby boy,” You smile, your eyes a little dazed. His right hand trails up your back to unhook your bra eagerly.

Somehow, he always manages to do this while he’s kissing you. Lance Tucker is truly a man of many talents.

Lance tugs you out of your shirt and his gaze is scorching. Your face heats up, despite this being far from the first time he’s seen you. He always makes you feel beautiful and sexy, though. Even with just a glance or a few words.

“And these?” Lance almost purrs at you, his hands brushing against your bare breasts, “These all for me, too?”

“No, they’re for the dude down the hall who helped me with the groceries the other day,” You roll your eyes at him, “Shall I call him here?”

Lance tightens his grip on your hips and you grin. He moves his grip to your neck, his thumb brushing against your jaw.

“You are such a smartass,” Lance groans, “God, that mouth on you.”

Wordlessly, you part your lips slightly. You bat your eyelashes at him and suck on his thumb lightly, enjoying the way his eyes widen.

The wet walls of your mouth against his thumb have him thinking about something else entirely.

“Oh, this mouth?” You ask, “You already know what this mouth does, baby.”