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scoooby · 4 years

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The Reason to Live (is to Die For This)

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Beta: @tenderlyannoyinglight

Word count: 6.3k

Trigger warning: descriptions of pain, death and violence.

Relationship: Merlin/Arthur *if you don't like merthur it can be taken as gen if you skip the last hundred words

Summary:

"I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't.

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of. He should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him. But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him."

In which Merlin is stabbed instead of Arthur. Oops.

Merlin doesn't know where the blood came from, flowing down and not stopping. There's so much of it staining the ground and his clothes, forming a puddle, he feels dizzy and nauseous looking at it. It's been almost ten years, but the sight of injury still repulses him. It scares him even more because he can't find its source. No, it terrifies him. Whose blood is it? Where is he, exactly? But he tries not to dwell on it and wonders where Arthur is. Wasn't he just here? Silly Arthur, always disappearing.

He giggles, then sobers up. He has more important things to worry about. Like the blood. Blood is so red. Like strawberries. He wishes he could make strawberries right now, Freya likes them. Speaking of which, he should probably talk to her soon.

He touches his hand to his abdomen, startled when he feels something wet and sticky. Oh.

Oh.

It's his blood. He's been maimed. He's the one dying.

I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't .

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of, and he should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him. But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him.

It shouldn’t be. He should be more carefree and alive and happy, like he is now. And he’s so happy.

He distantly hears a thud behind him, as if something heavy, clad in metal, had fallen. Swords are made of metal. So is armour. Stupid armour. It takes so fucking long to put armour on Arthur.

He feels hysteria rise up in his throat, he feels like laughing, He doesn’t know why. He’s been stabbed, he should care more. But those thoughts don’t even hit him. He wants to run, to jump. He could fly, like Kilgharrah. Or Aithusa. Can Aithusa fly? He would have to ask Morgana.

But Morgana doesn’t like him.

Maybe Balinor would know when dragons start to fly. He knows a lot, right?

Oh, but he can’t. Balinor is dead. Balinor is extremely dead and rotting. Hunith would be sad if she found out, he doesn’t want her to be sad. She deserves the world. He won’t tell her.

“Don’t worry,” he coos, even though there’s no one there. “I won’t tell.”

He tries to get up, but his knees are weak. He doesn't know why his ears have started to ring. Hhhhh. Hhh. That’s all he hears. It sounds weird. Weird. Weirdweirdweirdweirdweird. What a word, All words should be like it.

Everything is just a blob of grey and black. All he sees is a spinning world and green spots in the corner of his vision. He doesn’t mind, he likes green. He tries to say something, to scream maybe, yet all that comes out is a small, meagre groan.

He feels his eyes closing- And that's it. That's all there is-numbness, and then nothing.

Arthur is not ashamed to admit that he killed Mordred. The knight almost killed Merlin and dared to smile after doing so. Arthur couldn't just let him get away with it, no matter how much it pained him. Guilt doesn’t even come to mind. Mordred isn’t worth it - he tells himself as he walks, knees shaking, towards his manservant's body laying still on the ground.

He's bleeding at an alarming rate. His eyes are closed; his face deathly pale. Arthur doesn't bother with modesty as he rips the stupid brown jacket off (one would think he would come into battle wearing proper armor, at least). He had imagined doing it many times before, in entirely different circumstances, maybe with a bed underneath them.

Merlin torso is littered with scars as wood is with lines. Most of them are healed, so that only white lines are painting Merlin’s pale skin, while others are red, but still no cause for intervention. An enormous hole inflicted near his lungs, however does. Arthur’s not new to blood or injuries, but looking at this one does make him wanna vomit.

He stops, unsure of what to do. His hands hover over the body. What can he do, dammit? He knows first aid, Gaius taught him some when he was little. Nothing has ever come close or as grave as to this. He has been taught to call for the help of nurses, never to do it himself. He has to stop the bleeding, but how ? He's supposed to tie something around it; he remembers that much at least. He looks towards Merlin's face, exhausted and un-moving, a red cloth loosely tied around his neck. All he has to do to stop the blood temporarily, until he delivers Merlin to safe, more medically trained hands, is to tie the stupid red neckerchief around and hope for it to be the right thing.

He prays as he puts it around the gash. He's not entirely sure who he's praying to. It’s an unconscious reflex to beg for health. To be able to say it is someone else's fault, because he knows it's his. He should never have let Merlin come in front of him; let the sword pierce him. Damn him; damn Merlin; damn Mordred; damn the War; damn Morgana; damn everything.

It sickens him, all of it. This cave, this life. The air is dirty. The metallic smell of blood engulfing everything and making it its own. Throwing up would sound like a good idea if Arthur didn’t have more pressing matter at hand.

The air also smells of disappointment. What is he even doing? He's just two years into his reign, the army is practically gone. So many knights are dying in his name, right now, with their belief in him. And now Merlin is going to die too.

No. Merlin can't die, I won't allow it. His resolve hardens as he picks him up in his arms, Merlin’s head on his shoulder, back bent so gravity can keep the blood inside. and carries him through the mass of dead bodies. Arthur places him on the horse and climbs on behind him, arms on the reins and still supporting Merlin’s head.

It's a long ride home. You have to make it. For him. Is the only thought he clings to.

The aftermath of the war lingers everywhere. Bodies within quarter of a mile of another, their sunken eyes staring at them as the ride past.

No one stops them, too busy focusing on their own injured. Arthur's head is down to not see them. They probably hate him. With all of his being, he agrees.

Morgana, from an early age, showed to be better fitted for the crown. Might have even made Camelot a better place, once upon a time, in a time long gone.

Now they're both just as terrible and ill-fitted for his home.

He tries not to think of her, it’s too painful. So, he focuses on saving Merlin again. Merlin. His best friend, who he had always hoped would become something more. His rock, the only one he could trust. Something he has proved over and over again, but something he had realised only during his father's funeral.

Uther’s death is a recent memory. Arthur had cried until there were no tears left to shed over anyone else after. Not out of love or grievance. His father’s love for him was long gone before he himself was. But because the moment Uther’s life ended, Arthur’s reign began and the feeling of no support or companionship with it. Morgana was gone. Ygraine had never been there to begin with, and the overwhelming responsibility hit him- hard . He had felt so alone. There was no one there for him. No one cared.

Then Merlin had placed a hand on his shoulder, whispered to him, told him he was going to be a great king and that he was sorry. As if Merlin was at fault. As if he wasn't the only reason Arthur was still standing.

It made him see more clearly that he might not ruin the kingdom- his kingdom. A spark of heat, mixed with joy and sorrow ignited like wildfire spread all over his chest, then back, arms and legs followed soon, and finally his face; he returned Merlin’s sentiment with a warm smile.

Maybe that's when he had fallen in love, or when he had realized that Merlin was the only one he could trust. He's still not sure which one it was, maybe the love had come slowly, or maybe, and just the seed had been planted back then, or maybe it had come fact and crashing.

And now he was going to be gone too. Arthur sighs, his eyes drooping from a week of no sleep. Everyone leaves. They always leave. Maybe he still had some tears left.

The dark is disorienting. Is he sleeping? Is he even alive? He has to be, he has to make sure Arthur gets back home.

"Emrys," he hears someone say. No, not someone- Morgana. Her voice is unmistakable, ragged and sickly sweet at the same time. She had always been like that, even before, a dizzying array of opposites.

"Witch," he whispers. "Why have you brought me here?"

The smugness in her voice is apparent, "That's very hypocritical of you, isn't it? After all, you're magical too. More than me, even." She didn't answer his question. "All alone now, aren’t you? No one to save you." He shakes his head; how did he manage to get here? The last thing he was doing was shouting at Arthur to bring him along ("I always thought you were the bravest man I knew." “That’s not fair.") Arthur's face had been so disappointed, and it had broken Merlin's heart. But if the war was still going on, then no one would be coming for him. He will have to get out of this by himself.

"What. Do. You. Want." He grits out, he doesn't have the patience, nor the time for this, he has to help them. The knights are strong, but even the strongest of human kind wouln’t last long against an immortal army. He has to be there with them, to help them, to keep them alive. No matter how much his words hurt, Merlin will still save them, because that is what he does.

She laughs. " You."

"I don't have time for games, leave me be."- turning his head around trying to locate Morgana’s voice; the darkness, the nothingness, hasn’t changed.

"Oh, but why would I do that?" Her cold hands are taking hold of his chin, nails digging into his face. She's right in front of him. Her silky dress pooling onto his feet, the edges of her dirty hair grazing his arms. "I have you right where I want you, no one is going to come to save you. I only need one thing from you." She pauses, her fingers snap; there are fires surrounding them in a circle. He struggles against the bonds of rope he didn't realize were tied onto him, but it's of no use.

She’s clearer now, seen better days too. Bags under her crazed eyes, a ragged and torn black gown, a cloak is gracing her hunched back. Frankly, it looks like she hasn’t taken a bath in months. She doesn’t even resemble the Morgana he used to know, the compassionate and cunning one.

This is his creation; he is the reason she is like this. He never should have listened to the fucking dragon, he should have told her about his magic, maybe things would be different then.

"I won't do anything for you,” he hisses. “I would rather die.”

“Oh, you will.” She says it like it’s a fact as if it’s inevitable that he will die soon, and a tremor goes from his head to his toes in a matter of a second. He’s supposed to be immortal, supposed to live for a long, long time. He’s not scared of dying, he supposes. He’s scared of what will happen afterwards. “And it will hurt, I can tell you that, it will hurt so much.” She inches even closer, impossibly so. “But that won’t be the worst part, no. The worst part will be that no one will care . Arthur won’t care. No matter what you have done for him, he won’t even notice you’re gone.”

He’s silent as her words sink in. Sow themselves into his brain, into his heart, tries to convince himself it’s not true.

“Arthur won’t rescue you. You need his help, but he doesn’t have your back. He’s not even looking for you. If you’re drowning, if you’re about to crack, will he even care?” Something on his face makes her look smug like she’s already won. “Face it, Merlin.” That’s the first time she’s called him Merlin and not Emrys since she found out. “You don’t matter to him. He thinks you’re disposable, But I know better.”

Merlin looks up at her. "You're sick," he spits, although it sounds small, unsure. "He would look for me. I know he would." The statement is more for himself than her.

She gives a small, cruel smile as if to convey to him how pathetic he is. “All I need you to do,” she continues, “is to tell me where you are once this ends.”

He's about to ask her what she means, when the fires go out and it all turns dark again.

He stops in the forest, to rest, though he's not sure if Merlin will even survive by the end of it. He lays him down against a rock and lights a fire. He has to make something to feed them, or they'll die of starvation before Morgana's knights get to them. He surveys the clearing they're in, and he's about to walk towards what he is almost sure is an edible plant (emphasis on the almost, kings don't always learn about herbs), when he hears Merlin whispers. He snaps back, his eyes are open, a once tantalizing clear blue now murky and grey.

"Arthur" he murmurs. "Art- I-"

He holds up a hand "I'm here Merlin," he says. "I'm here but don't speak, you need to preserve your energy."

He doesn't listen. "I-I need to tell you something and," he gasps, trying to breathe, "and I need you to listen without interrupting."

Arthur wants to tell him whatever he needs to say probably isn't as important as his life, but the look on his face tells him that it might be.

Merlin shudders, clearly exhausted. "I ha-have magic," he rasps. Arthur's mind goes blank. It's a joke, it has to be. Merlin can't have betrayed him too. He takes a step toward him, to reach out maybe, but thinks better of it.

"Stop being silly," he commands, but it comes out shaky.

Merlin eyes seem wet. When he opens his mouth to speak, all that comes out is a bare whisper, "I ne-needed to tell you. In, in case, I-I, uh, die."

"You can't die." He clasps Merlin shoulder this time, leaning down. "But stop delusioning yourself Merlin. You don't have magic, I would know." It's not real, he would've been able to tell. This can't be true, it can't.

"And I use it for you," he continues, seeing his expression. "Only-only for you."

"Shut up," Arthur whispers. Merlin flinches back. "Shut up, shut up, shut up."

"I-," he starts, but he cuts him off.

"Do not speak to me."

Arthur looks at him, something rising in his throat. He thought it would be bile, but it's laughter. Of course, of course, the only person he trusts has magic.

He stands up and walks away, until he's sure Merlin won't be able to see him.

Merlin’s heart sinks as he stares at Arthur’s back, she was right. He told him about his magic, and now he was leaving him to die in a forest, never mind the reason he was dying was that he had taken a sword for Arthur. Never mind that he had spent a decade protecting him, trying to stop hundreds of people from killing someone he himself hadn’t particularly cared for at the beginning. Never mind the fact that he had sacrificed so much, just so he could be comfortable living in a castle built on the sins of his father and the corpses of magic users. Ten years, all down the drain. Merlin wants to laugh, of course, it comes done to this. To Arthur abandoning him because he told him something he didn’t want to hear. Fuck him, fuck the pendragons. Couldn’t let him die in peace.

He stews in it for a while, too tired to cry. Too sick of everything to even care anymore. He won’t tell her though; couldn’t let it all go to waste. She’ll find out anyway, he knows, she has her sources.

Yet, he has more important things to focus on, Arthur will either come back, or he won’t. But his wound stays. The giddiness is gone, replaced with something else. Something warm, like a fire in his stomach.

He presses down on his abdomen. as he sighs sharply through his nose, it helps with the increasing pain, stabbing his bone and overtaking his senses.

His lungs struggle to breathe, it feels as if they’re filling with water as he drowns; his whole body burns as his back arches and writhes. It’s like there’s thousands of needles being pushed into him from everywhere, as if the needles had been pulled out from a fire before being inserted into him- red hot and painful, so painful. He wants to stand up, to run and jump into a lake, but his legs feel like jelly, he can’t move. It hurts so much. He hears distant echoes of screams; they’re probably coming from him. And just like that, it starts to ebb. The needles being pulled out hurts more, but the small burns they leave behind are definitely better than it was before. He slumps down against a tree, numb.

He feels his eyes droop. His pain is still shooting through his body, but at least he has some time before he has to feel it again.

He wakes up again in some time, not sure when. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before. He’s just tired. He lays there for what feels like hours, but the sun hasn’t even set, so it was probably a few minutes.

To his immense surprise, he comes back. Arthur… comes back.

"Come back to finish the job, huh?" Merlin snarls, refusing to believe that maybe he came back to help him because he cared for him. It's too good to be true. Arthur is compassionate and he is kind, but not to magic users. "One stab wound wasn't enough for you?"

Arthur's already been saved from the imminent death of his which has been prophesied for a few centuries already, Merlin no longer has to worry, and he doesn't want to either. If this is his reward, to be called a coward, to be ignored and hut out, what everything had been leading up to, he might as well have died years ago. He used to wake up with only Arthur in mind, He loved him, still does. He’s not going to go out any other way.

He was the reason he lived, and he is the reason Merlin is going to die.

Arthur recoils in shock, his mouth is hanging open a little.

Good , Merlin thinks, he needs a wake-up call.

"What?" He asks.

Merlin hopes his expression can convey his feelings and how unamused he is because his throat is clogged up and he's too exhausted to say a word more. He may be a warlock, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is in unbearable pain.

Arthur looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "You- you thought I was going to kill you?"

There's no reply. Arthur comes forward, stops when he sees how scared the other man becomes. He sits down onto the cold, hard ground. "Merlin," he says softly, "I, I'm angry at you, I'm not going to lie, but I would never, never kill you. I- how could you even-" he trails off, he kicks some dirt glumly. "Just, we’ll talk about this when we're back home, okay? When you're better."

Arthur doesn't know how Merlin could think that. He would never- he didn’t even imagine doing anything other than demoting him, at most. He feels betrayed, and he feels let down. But this is Merlin. If he practiced magic, there must have been a good reason.

Fuck. Has he been that bad of a friend? Has he been so distant that Merlin thought Arthur was going to kill him? He knows he should be angrier, and just a few hours ago, he was. He was ready to yell and to scream and to rage, but then he thought of Morgana. About how he used to love her, and how she changed when he turned her away, He doesn’t want the same to happen to Merlin, doesn’t want him to change too. If Merlin dies because Arthur abandons him, he will never forgive himself.

So, as he snuffs out the fire and tries to cover up his tracks, because he knows Morgana will be looking for them, he doesn’t say anything. When he picks Merlin up and places him on the horse, he tries to be as gentle as he can. When he squeezes Merlin's hand in what he hopes is comforting, he just hopes Merlin doesn’t hate him completely.

Merlin floats in and out of consciousness for what he thinks is a day, but he can’t be sure. When he first wakes up, he’s trotting along on a horse, Arthur behind him, and then he’s in front of a fire, sitting on the ground, then the horse again. Once, he wakes up to strangled screams, but he’s not sure what was going on. He’s too scared to ask. The fifth time he wakes up, however, it’s different. It’s not a coincidence, it’s on purpose, Arthur is shaking him awake. He makes out that they are next to the lake, where he has sent away so many corpses already.

It's calm and serene, obvious to all that is happening around it.

“Wha-” he starts to say blearily, he knows they haven’t reached Camelot yet, so what is going on?

Arthur silences him by placing a hand on his mouth. “We’ve got company,” he whispers. Merlin stiffens up, never a good thing. Not when you’re trekking through the woods, your companion and you both in bad conditions, both starving, one run through with a sword. Not when your companion is the ruler of kingdom which has war being waged against it.

“Arthur,” he says, his voice still sounding heavy and drowsy.

“What?” His mouth feels swollen, and he is incredibly tired, but he can tell he’s agitated, so he doesn't beat around. “Use the sword."

He looks surprised, the expression he hates. The one he uses whenever he realises that he underestimates everyone around him. "I think I know how to use a sword better than you do, Mer lin."

Prat.

"I mean, don't use your old sword, use Excalibur. It can kill anything. " Saying even this much feels like he just ran from Ealdor to Camelot without break, but he manages.

He opens his mouth to reply, but then his eyes widen. "Did you hear that?" His voice is low but urgent. Merlin blinks, he didn't hear anything other than the wind and- oh, he hears it now. There's distant screaming, coming from a woman from what it sounds like. It's barely noticeable, but the sounds of footsteps and something heavy being dragged on the forest floor towards them is much, much louder.

They exchange glances, only for a second. Merlin gestures towards the sword and Arthur nods, not questioning him for once.

Merlin tries to speak, he wants to help, but his throat is becoming clogged, and his vision is becoming blurry and- I am not going to survive. He thinks, before his eyes roll back into his head, and he passes out once more.

Arthur does not dare to say anything, or to do anything, other than stay frozen in his spot, sword in hand.

The noises are coming closer and closer. The screams have subsided now, but the steps have not. He knows he should highball out of there, but he has a feeling that whatever is coming their way cannot be outrun, and 50% of his lessons in swordplay focuses only on telling him to follow his gut.

"Emrys," says a voice. He inhales sharply, he recognizes that voice; knows it better than he has any right too.

"Morgana," he breathes.

She pouts, looking disappointed. "Seems like our Emrys isn't awake. Shame, I wanted him to see you die." She says it casually, as if she tells her once-brother that she’s going to kill him every day.

He reminds himself - this is not his sister, not the woman he grew up with. If he doesn’t kill her, she will kill him. And she will take his kingdom.

But he never meant for them to get caught up in this, he had to control himself. He can’t rush to hug her or stab her. He can see a flicker of what she used to be, the brave, young woman. He needs her to hold onto that. If she doesn’t, he will have to do it. And he really, really doesn’t want to.

But as she lunges at him, the flicker ebbs out. She has slipped through his hands, and she has changed. She has been carried away by the waves of sorcery, and it has ruined her. He remembers her being his hero when they were young, when they used to sneak out of the castle to look at the stars. Her arguing with Uther over whether it was right to commit genocide, the irony of which has stuck with him. Her teaching him to use the sword, having already mastered it herself. Her forcing him to make friends with Gwen, who grew to become his ex-lover and best friend and surrogate queen. The memories keep on coming, and they don't stop. But she, like everyone else, changed. No matter what time, she is different now. It will never come back. He wants to go back, when they were innocent and naive, when everything was left for them to discover.

But he can’t.

So he fights back instead.

It's all he can do to make his hands steady as his blade sinks into her stomach, as he buries it deeper and deeper until it comes out on the other side. She looks surprised, then grim. She'll be alive for a few days, at most, a few minutes, at best.

But he can't bear to leave her suffering, alive but dying, tortured. So, he stabs her again, this time aiming for the heart, and again. And again. And again. When he is sure that she's dead, he stops, sliding onto his knees. He glares at the sword in contempt. He killed her; he killed his sister.

No .

He killed the woman who wanted to burn his kingdom to the ground. He had no other choice.

But what sort of person is he? He's killed both his knight and his former sister on the same day, with the same sword.

He grips it harder, then looks at the lake. He needs to get rid of it, that's what he needs to do. No one can find out what happened today, he can't let them. He raises it and throws it in. He had thought it would land on the banks, considering how heavy it is, but it doesn't. Instead, the sword flies out of his grip, and cuts through the air, towards the lake. He swears he can see a hand reaching out of the water to catch it, but it's probably a trick of the light.

He turns to her body laid on the ground, eyes open and unblinking, mouth looking as if gasping for breath, cloak sprawled around her like wings. She's dead.

Somehow, he knows if he had used the other sword, she would not be; he knows enough about magic to realise that the high priestess cannot be taken down by a normal weapon.

But Excalibur was not normal, was it? Just another thing to add to his list of questions.

It takes him thirty more minutes to dispose of her body in the lake, staring as it sinks deeper into the water. He doesn't look away, no. He deserves this. He has to remember, and he will.

He doesn't move for a long, long time. Only goes so when he realizes that, although she is dead, Merlin is not yet. Arthur intends to keep it that way. He turns his back on her. Every step drains him, but he does it.

He can't be left alone again.

It takes them two more days to arrive in Camelot. All of it passes in awkward silence, with Merlin getting paler and paler with every passing second. Arthur doesn’t say anything out loud, but his mind is racing. He doesn’t think of them. He can’t. So he focuses on magic instead. He’s not sure if he trusts magic fully, even now, but maybe he should be more open-minded. Maybe he should give it a chance. Maybe it'll be different than it was with Morga- her.

When he arrives, it is completely different to what he had expected. There are mourners, of course. People in white, downcast expressions, closed windows, doors painted black. But there are also red banners hanging everywhere, citizens cheering as he rides past, ignoring Merlin behind him. Cries of "she is dead" and "the war is over". People are grieving, and there are those celebrating. He doesn't ask how they know of her death, he doesn't want to know. They tell him anyway. Apparently, the army stopped attacking, all of a sudden. They had cried, and shouted, and had turned back. It is unclear why, but Arthur knows he is the reason. Morgana dying at his hands is the reason.

Some help him get to Gaius', seeing how unamused he looks. They clear out the road, offer them water. Arthur is grateful for them, glad that at least some of his people acknowledged the dying man and had tried to help.

The physician is busy when he throws the door open, Merlin in tow. There are many, many people here. All with varying degrees of injuries. Arthur can’t bear to look at them. It’s his fault. It’s all his fault. So he ignores them, marches up to him.

“He’s- he’s been stabbed,” he chokes out.

Gaius’ eyes widen, and he rushes to follow Arthur. He lays Merlin out on one of the few empty beds, his body sprawls out on it. It’s sickening to look at as if he’s dead already.

He sets to work immediately, ordering Arthur to fetch herbs and vials and all sorts of things he doesn’t know the uses of. The people around them stare at him blankly, as if they know he’s the king, but they don’t fully recognise him.

He knows when he is not needed anymore, and backs away to watch. It's odd, and it feels so wrong. It's wrong to watch as Merlin is cut open and healed. Like he's invading his privacy. Merlin deserves better than to be put on a show in front of so many people.

He does try to help. Tries to tell as many people as he can to move to the castle, where he is sure more doctors would be willing to help, but some are in too bad of a condition to be moved as they are tended to by nurses. So he elects to focus on his friend instead.

Gaius' hands have always been steady, for as long had Arthur had known him. He cuts open bodies without worry, without even flinching. Which is not the case today, he notices. No, his hands are shaking. Not much as to be obvious, but he's known the man for far too long to not be able to tell when he's scared.

He thinks Merlin is going to die .

Arthur recoils violently. He doesn't know where the thought came from, because it's not true. It can’t be.

Merlin is going to survive. He tells himself.

Merlin. Is. Going. To. Survive.

Merlinisgoingtosurvive

MerlinisgoingtosurviveMerlinisgoingtosurvuveMerlinisgoingtosurvive

He repeats under his breath, rocking himself back and forth on his heels until he almost believes it. He has to.

He's not sure where the time has passed, because Gaius is in front of him all of a sudden but Arthur remembers him standing over the table just seconds ago.

Gaius shakes his head and it takes a few minutes for it to register in his mind. Arthur can't be looking at him, and his heartbreaking face. Just like him, Gaius' only support was Merlin. Was. Not is, was. Merlin is barely dead, and Arthur is already starting to think of him as a memory.

The physician knows what it feels like, but Arthur doesn't care.

"You should've done better," he hisses. He doesn't regret it. Doesn’t regret causing the shock he’s caused Gaius. But it's his fault too. He's the one Merlin took a sword for. But he needs to blame someone else. Because he doesn't want to think of the implications of Merlin dying at his hands. Gaius looks at him as if he is about to break, so Arthur walks away. From him, towards the corpse. He can't bear to face another person he's hurt.

It can't be true. There's got to be something he can do, something. He can't die, he can’t fucking die. Not when there's not much left to say. Not when they've just won. It's supposed to be a thing to celebrate, a war ending, he can't mourn. He can't give a speech to his kingdom which wasn't written by his best friend. Can't lose him. He doesn't think he'll be able to live without him.

He doesn't want to. He won't.

Merlin looks too much at peace, content in a way Arthur hasn't seen him in a long time. His long lashes casting shadows onto his freckled skin, his lips are twisted into a scowl, but he is at peace. He still looks the same, though. Beautiful and striking. Arthur's rock.

And dead.

Arthur’s hands move at their own accord, to stroke the side of his face. A sob escapes him before he can stop it, pushing through his throat. His people need assurance, and him crying like a bloody fool won't help. But that's the last thing on his mind. All he knows is Merlin is dead.

He isn’t able to stop staring, can't help wondering what he will do now. Whether the body will be burned or buried. He will be given a hero's funeral, it's no less than he deserves. He will be clothed in Camelot’s colours, or maybe his Ealdor's. Hunith would know better.

Oh lord, Hunith. She will have to find out through a letter. No. Arthur will have to go to tell her. He can't let her go through it alone.

He's about to turn away, to tell someone to help him move the body when his lips move.

Merlin's mouth opens, just a little bit, but enough to tell that he's alive.

Arthur feels a shock go through him. It was just an illusion.

Right?

"Merlin?" he asks. It can't be true, no matter how much he wants it to be. It was probably a trick of the light, but that can't be right. Because Merlin's eyes are opening and he's staring at him and some colour is returning to his cheeks and oh-

This the man he loves. And he waking up.

"Ar- Arth," he begins but Arthur shushes him. He’s alive, he’s speaking. He doesn’t know how, but it’s real. It’s actually real.

"I'm here," he assures him "I'm here." He shocks even himself as he leans down to kiss him. He's even more surprised when Merlin kisses him back. It only lasts a second before he pulls back, but he just kissed Merlin. It was rough, it wasn't perfect. But he's breathing. They're both here. He can't ask for more.

"Wha- what was," he exhales through his nose, as if speaking taxes him, "that for?"

"I wanted to," he says, shrugging, still not over the euphoria. He just lost him, he’s never going to again. The least he can do is not hide from the truth. "And, I, I also kind of love you. Like, I’m in love with you."

His eyes widen a fraction, but Arthur can tell he’s too tired to question it further.

He wants to say more, he has so many questions as to how he's still breathing, when he started practicing magic, why, but he doesn’t. He has time, they have all the time in the world.

He turns his back, yelling for Gaius. The physician shows up immediately, face lighting up when he takes in the sight of his son very much not-dead.

"We'll figure it out," he says, though he's not sure he heard him over the noise. "We'll figure it out." He grins. Yeah, they'll figure it out.

He swears, Merlin is beaming right back at him.

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bioerin · 3 years

Text

Tag game

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

Tagged by @oddishblossom thank you 💖💖💖 now I have a reason to ramble about my faves. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Wei Wuxian (The Untamed/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation). Oh man I just love him so much. The guy said no to rules but yes to morals. And shit happened and bad horrible mistakes were made, yet... it all made so much sense. Bonus points for living the dark villainy aes while also being an absolute sunshine of a person. Well not always but overall.

2. Dana Scully (The X Files). Man. Dude. SCIENCE. Love that for her. Always reasonable, always questioning things, always being the force of reason. In a show full of unexplained phenomenon she says all the things I want to say, never assuming the supernatural, always putting logic first. Honestly the x files has some ... icky sexist writing going on imho... but she is written as the main character and not a sidekick or pretty male companion so that is also a great thing bc honestly I don't think there are many great main female characters who are not reduced to... being a woman.

3. Princess Bubblegum (The Adventure Time). Once again. SCIENCE. She is an immortal entity just chilling. Creating conscious life. Performing questionably ethical experiments. Has a hot vampire girlfriend. Living my life goals tbh.

4. Xie Lian (Heaven Official's Blessing). similar to Wei Wuxian my man said morals first! And once again a lot of mistakes were made and a lot of bad things happened. Also has a hot ghost boyfriend.

5. Castiel (Supernatural). I know it is supernatural, but that guy? The guy who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition? Also the same guy who followed the bees? Made a lot of mistakes? Gained and lost power? Gay? Angel? Love that for him. While supernatural might be an absolute dumpster fire of a show there wasn't only bad things. I sometimes watch cas compilations like these to feel better 🙈

6. Songhwa (Hospital Playlist). I just love her? She is so smart and kind and she likes the rain and she is calm and aaaa. She wants to study for the rest of her life?? She wants to be a soloist of the group but cannot hold a note for her life? Girl. Same.

7. Howell Jenkins/Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle). My man is a glorious mess. Over dramatic, yet talented and powerful. A nerd in Wales but a fancy pancy wizard in Ingary. Has spiders for his best friends and runs from conflicts, weee, relatable. Such a loser he carries around a guitar he can't play only to look cool. But undercharges the poor and overcharges the rich! Chaotic energy is off the charts and I love that for him.

8. Janet (The Good Place). She is exactly what I have always wanted from an all-knowing entity! Not human and not a girl! I just love her!! She knows and recognizes how everything works yet she also knows that it is purely mechanical and there is a scope of emotions and meaning that humans put behind their understanding of the environment and that is what makes it beautiful. I also just love her did I say that?

9. Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender). Another science guy!! I love that he didn't have any special powers. He was just planning stuff, having 100 bad ideas and 5 good ones, yet still the mastermind of the group! I just really liked his stupid jokes and strategic planning and overall growth during the series. (I would also like to mention every character of ATLA bc dudes all the characters are so good I love that show)

10. Legolas (The Lord of The Rings). Love an absolutely useless man who just happened to be there to show off his luscious locks and elf eyes. I had a crush on him when I was 11 so I think that fact earns him a spot in here. He just is there and shoots his pretty little arrows and is tall and graceful wearing his pretty half up half down hairstyle being all confused.

Oof! This was fun!

Tagging, and of course don't do if you don't want to @coldjellyfishsoul @thegreatwhynot @dephlogis @gotyouundermyskin @bumblebee-bea @cookiesandcontemplation @readenheim @sunset-to-moonlight @bubblegumbabyboo @hmcbook (or your main idk) AND anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

#tag game #long post #in cocnlusion i am a sucker for science logic nerds morals and crime #this really made me realize things about myself aaaaa

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theroundbartable · 3 years

Text

Dragon Island

“Absolutely not.” Sometimes, Arthur Pendragon was not only a prat, he was a downright Clotpole. Not that Merlin ever failed to mention it.

“Arthur, I am going with you!”

“And what exactly can YOU do against dragons, Merlin? This is THE dragon Island! My father has been searching for this place for over a decade! There are rumors that there will be dragon lord's there as well! Do you even know how many knights have died since the purge started? Since my father fought these monsters and erased them from this part of the world? If we find this Island, we can end this war! But this is too dangerous for a servant. I can not waste my time consoling you, when the sea is making you sick, Merlin. I have battle strategies to discuss.”

Merlin huffed and crossed his arms. They were standing at the shore, far far away from Camelot. Uther Pendragon had a ship army remaining here in position. He regularly send out spies to find the home island of the dragon lords. Not that there were any actual dragon lords with dragon lord powers left. They were wiped out in the war. But their families remained. Those who valued their traditions and taught each other magic. But weren't the first son's and therefore had none of the abilities their kind was so proud of. But magic was another reason to have them wiped out.

About a week ago, one of Uther's spies had found a trace that lead them to an underwater cave. Barely shallow enough to have a narrow boat sail through. They had found runes engraved in the walls. And the spy was pretty ecstatic that this MUST be the entrance to the secret island.

Well... Since Arthur was the only knight known to have actually killed a dragon (which he didn't), his father found it absolutely logical to send his only son and heir on another suicide mission. Into unknown terrain, with unknown enemies and not one dragon, but a whole army of those impossible-to-kill-except-you're-a-dragon-lord creatures.

It was truly perfect. Arthur could finally proof his worth as crown prince.... again. And almost die.... again. Heroically of course. Uther was a genius.

And apparently Arthur was just as smart, because the idiot prince had decided to go on that mission WITHOUT Merlin. The only ACTUAL dragon lord left in the entire known universe. Not that they knew about that.

“Just so you know – I do NOT get sea sick. And I already know how to use the sails and stuff. Will and I often went out with the fisher of our town. Other than you who grew up in a fancy Castle with perfect temperature in every single room and hundreds of servants working for you. You may train, but you have NO idea how to deal with the weather, with the tides. You barely know how to dress yourself!”, as Merlin exclaimed the last part, he could basically feel the steam of anger from Arthur's nostrils flaring at him, while a few knights were snickering behind them.

The knights were, by the way, currently occupied readying the boat.

“Fishing on a boat and Sailing on the open sea is totally different.”, Arthur argued, causing Merlin to roll his eyes and facepalm himself. “Fisher's... sail, Sire.”, he muttered, causing Arthur to frown as if that confused him for some reason.

“I don't care. You cannot stop me. I'll come with you.”, Merlin's expression was final.

“I'm the crown prince of Camelot, Merlin. You have to do what I say.”

“I never listen to what you say. Why would I start now?”

In the end, Gwaine and Leon were ordered to drag Merlin away from the boat. All while Arthur ignored the very obvious argument (provided by Merlin and confirmed by at least two other knights), that he NEEDED Merlin. If as a servant or a navigator or maybe a warning radar for obvious danger that Arthur was certain to ignore. He NEEDED him. So, Merlin would definitely find a way.

“Hey, buddy. I gottcha.”, Gwaine winked at him, while Merlin was still trying to make up a perfect strategy, how he could sneak on the ship. Merlin blinked up at him, while Leon just rolled his eyes and pretended not to listen. “What?”, Merlin asked, confused.

“I got a few barrels of water and wine and stuff for the ride. Leon and I have already prepared an empty one for you. You get in and we'll sneak you on.” Merlin had never wanted to hug Gwaine more. “Thank you!!!!”, he beamed at them. “Wait, Leon? You're IN on the plan? You're not going to rat me out to Arthur, are you?”

Gwaine cackled. “It was HIS idea.”

“Huh?”, Merlin looked at the blond knight in confusion.

Leon was still looking away, as if embarrassed by his treason. “If you're not there, Arthur will focus all his attention on US. And I did not sign up for this.”, he was frowning. As if he was already dreading the following days.

“But... how long have I to stay in the barrel? I mean... If I step out too soon, Arthur will insist to turn around.”

“I can survive five days of Arthur being a whirlwind of emotions. You have FIVE days. Gwaine will sneak you out at night. Lancelot has agreed to help. I can distract Arthur, until you're in. Other than that, I was never involved.”, Leon was grimacing the entire time. He seemed exhausted, as if he had already had five different yet similar arguments today and wanted to throttle someone.

“Wow, thank you Leon.”, Merlin looked at him amazed. But Leon's frown only darkened. “Don't thank him.”, Gwaine whispered. “He originally asked, if we could dress you up like him, so he can stay in Camelot and have a vacation until we're back. You may not get sea sick. But HE does.”

“Why.... And he's still allowed on the ship? Wait, why don't we try that? Doesn't sound like a too bad plan. If Leon's sea sick anyway, people would leave him alone to suffer in silence, right?”

Leon sighed with exasperation. “As if that ever stopped Arthur from discussing battle strategies.”, he made a dramatic pause. “If I don't make it -”, Leon made a sound that reminded Merlin of a creaking door. “It was nice knowing you.”

“Don't be so dramatic, Leon.”, Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Honestly, what's with you? Since Uther announced this mission, you've been nothing but a drama queen.”, he scolded. Leon pouted a little. “I'm being realistic if anythikng. If the sea doesn't drown us, we don't freeze to death or a sudden storm destroys our boat, and we don't get horribly lost in that strange cave and starve to death, then we arrive on an island full of dragons who probably hate Arthur for killing the great Dragon. And being the son of a man who ordered the murder of all dragon kind. Not to mention him indirectly causing the death of the last dragon Lord as well. So we either die, or we die. I'm just planning ahead.”

“So dramatic.”, Gwaine mumbled. But Merlin frowned. Leon got a valid point.

“Be positive. What if we meet a bunch of mermaids?”, Gwaine winked at Leon. Leon frowned even further. “Which kind?” “The hot kind, duh.” “Which is?” Gwaine blinked. “Not this again. You're no fun.”

“No, no, Gwaine. Go ahead. Tell me. Which is the hot kind of mermaid? The Siren one's that lure you in with magic voices and then drown you, so they can rape your dead bodies and make more Sirenbaby's; The manatee's that only start to look appealing when you're so starved and Vitamin C deprived that you start hallucinating right before you pass out and die or the classic one's with boobs and a fish tails that make NO SENSE in their anatomy. Which I will be hearing you complain about for days. When all I want is peace and quiet.”, Leon closed his eyes – yet again- dramatically.

Gwaine was about to open his mouth to counter, when Leon added: “Also, we're knights of Camelot and mermaids are magical creatures. It's your job to kill them, regardless of how hot they seem to you.”

With that, Leon had set Gwaine's brain check mate and left him and Merlin standing there with their mouths comically wide open. Half in shock, half with laughter and amazement. “Holy shit, I think he's finally lost it.”, Gwaine laughed as he watched Leon slump down at the next tree and saying goodbye to the dry unshakable ground.

“Maybe we should ask George to come as well. Or convince Arthur to get him off the ship.”, Merlin muttered. After all, Leon was always a lot calmer when George was around. Maybe because George didn't bully him, did what he was told and was also a good person to be quiet with. George also seemed to prefer Leon as the one ordering him around, because Leon wasn't chatting endlessly. He was precise in his orders and didn't talk around the bush. They got along well. Because they didn't have to get along at all. They had the ultimate work-efficient dynamic. It was horrifying.

“Are you kidding? This will be hilarious.”, Gwaine grinned.

“Don't you think Leon deserves a break?”, Merlin asked, still startled by Leon's obvious irritation. “From work? Yes. From me? NEVER!”, Gwaine winked again. And Merlin already pitied the poor knight.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon was indeed... sick. The moment the ships left the haven, Leon was slumped over the reeling and holding on for his life. He was suspiciously green in the face and tried to avoid Arthur. Who was continuously ignoring Leon's condition and decided to ask him for how many days they had planned to be on sea. How many weapons they had and discussed whether or not they were actually suitable to kill dragons. And if there was enough food and water and so on and so forth.

He did not realize that the barrel Gwaine had decided to sit on had a few holes in it, that should not be there, were wine in it. Gwaine was chatting with Lancelot and occasionally Merlin, albeit in third person like... “I wonder what Merlin would think of this.”, and then get a hushed answer from underneath him.

The sea was relatively calm for the first three days. And Elyan, who was assigned to steer the ship, had no trouble finding the right path. Arthur seemed content too and left Leon alone on day two.

Leon was hardly eating. And if he ever did, he puked it out ten minutes later. By the third day, he was leaning against the reeling once again. Eyes closed with an obvious headache and ready to drink poison to free him from his misery.

Merlin was still sitting inside the barrel. Except for at night, when Lancelot would let him out, while Gwaine annoyed the prince. It worked surprisingly well. Yet, Merlin was a bit worried. Not necessarily to be found out. That was kind of part of the plan. No... By the way Arthur behaved.

The first two days, it was hardly noticeable. Arthur had focused on talking to Leon. Or Elyan or Gwaine and Lancelot. But after they had run out of conversational topic, Arthur had started to isolate himself. Merlin could see him through the holes of his hiding place. He was often standing at the reeling and staring out towards the horizon. He was eerily quiet. And appeared to be melancholic. If not slightly sad.

“Hey, Merlin.”, Lancelot whispered at an afternoon on day four. Merlin was still shocked that his disguise had apparently worked well so far. Then again, Arthur was terrifyingly oblivious to most of his secrets. “Can't you like... use magic to heal Leon's sickness?”

Of course. If anyone had it bad these days it was Sir Leon. Gwaine was currently occupied with drinking. Otherwise Lancelot would not have dared mention Merlin's illegal existence to him. “Do you think that's wise? What if they all notice? After all, Leon has been sick for three days now. If he was suddenly fine, wouldn't they ask?”

“And you think they'd explain it with magic? Merlin. Leon could have just gotten used to the sea. I'm sure no one will notice.”

“Are you sure?”, Merlin asked back and tried to focus on Leon's pitiful form. “I'm positive. Even if they think it's magic, they don't even know you're here. And what sorcerer would just appear on this ship, just to heal Leon?” “Good point.”

Merlin took a shuddering breath, as he strained himself to look through the barrel once again. Leon had his eyes closed and he was breathing harshly. Arthur was standing right next to him. Deep in thought. As if on cue, he suddenly straightened up, pushed himself from the reeling and went under deck.

Merlin nodded to himself. And then whispered a silent spell in Leon's reaction. There was a flash of gold for barely a second. But in that moment, Leon opened his eyes and looked at Merlin. Merlin froze. They locked eyes. Merlin caught his breath. “Lancelot. I think he saw.”, Merlin muttered, panic was slowly sinking in, along with the realization of the situation. Lancelot frowned. “What?”, he asked. “Lance, I think he knows.” “Merlin, stop mumbling. I'm certain you're imagining things.”

Leon's eyes flickered shut for a second and he took a deep breath. Then he held his head in slight irritation, before looking in Merlin's direction again. He ….. sighed in relieve. Slowly, he pushed himself up. Still holding his head, as he took a deep breath. He nodded at Merlin. Like he was... thanking him? Was Merlin really imagining this? But Leon smiled, stretched himself and rubbed at the dark circles under his sleepless eyes. As if to say: “finally.”

Soon enough, he was gone as well. Merlin opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head to himself, while Lancelot had a firm hand on his barrel.

---------------------------------------

It was night, when Merlin was finally let out of his barrel. The knights were asleep. All but the one on watch. Which was Gwaine, fortunately. Meaning, Merlin could safely leave the barrel, chat with him and eat in peace. He had slept through the day mostly. He trusted that Lancelot and Gwaine would stop anyone from opening this particular barrel during the day.

And if anyone got to close, he could always hear one of them say, this was the “victory wine.” Like this was the finest wine of them all and reserved for the day they managed to defeat the dragon lords. It was a good excuse. Albeit difficult to maintain, because nobody believed Gwaine could hold himself back from wine for that long.

Either way, for now it was fine. Merlin's legs were dangling off the watch tower, while Gwaine leaned against the rod behind him. The sails were up, because the wind was in their favor.

It was then, that suddenly, someone crawled up from under deck.

Even in the dim moonlight, Merlin could make out the shine of Arthur's armor. Everyone had already told him, wearing armor on a boat was absolutely insane. If he ever fell off the boat, he'd drown immediately. Because the weight would just drag him down. But the clotpole was too stubborn to listen. And right now it was as useful as a warning signal to them. 'Why is he up?', was all Merlin could think, as he nearly shrieked through Gwaine's mindless chatter and hid underneath a blanket that lay around behind them. Gwaine, surprised at his reaction, finally noticed the prince as well and waved at him, while Arthur gave him a startled expression. Merlin could have kicked Gwaine for drawing Arthur's attention to them.

“Gwaine? What are you doing?”

Gwaine rose both his eyebrows in amusement. “Oh, I'm on watch. You know. Talking to myself. Looking at the stars. Nice weather out, don't you think?”, he laughed suspiciously.

Arthur frowned and sighed, before climbing up the ladder with a sigh. He shook his head, as if used to these antics and hardly caring for them at all. Merlin hurried to shuffle behind Gwaine, so that Arthur wouldn't notice him. And Gwaine did his best to position himself in a way that Merlin was mostly covered by his frame. In a practiced manner, Merlin steeled his heart and his breathing and went completely still. A method he had accustomed to during his time out in the barrel.

By the time Arthur got up to them, Merlin might as well have vanished. That's how invisible he was. Though, to himself, he felt extremely obvious.

“So, er... Sire. Can't sleep?”, Gwaine asked. It was pretty late. Too late to still be up. Too early to have woken up again. Gwaine pat the ground beside him, so Arthur could sit down. It would be suspicious if he send him away. But Merlin was certain Gwaine did it to taunt him. “Not really.”, Arthur said and yawned. If Merlin could see through the blanket, he would see that the circles under Arthur's eyes were nearly as dark as Leon's had been.

His voice didn't really leave room for conversation. He sounded tired, as if he really didn't want to talk. And despite Gwaine's usual annoyance, he didn't press the matter. He hummed instead. For one, because it was Gwaine. Who would he be, if he wasn't drinking ale and doing noisy things all the time? However, this also served the purpose of covering up all unintentional noises Merlin could have made in the dead silence of the still night. It was too still. But they weren't used to the ever changing weather of the sea. Else, they would have been alarmed.

“It's funny.”, Arthur said after a moment of hummed silence. “What is, Sire?” “I would have thought Merlin would have sneaked on to the ship and come out by now.”

Gwaine laughed comically. Startled by the sudden comment. Arthur ignored him, but Merlin nearly smacked Gwaine for that obvious reaction.

“Well. That surely sounds like Merlin. But we would have found him in no time.”, Gwaine assured him.

“Yeah I know. Still.”, Arthur sighed and shook his head, before running a hand through his face. “I mean... Now that he's not here, I can't stop thinking that I basically left him alone with my father. You know my father. If Merlin doesn't behave, the king will certainly have him flogged. Or worse. I mean... he has these moments when he accuses random people to be sorcerers. What if I left him to one of those antics? Did I make a mistake leaving him home?”

Arthur sounded worried and he was suddenly found playing with his own hands.

Gwaine opened his mouth in surprise. “Huh?”, he asked. “I thought you didn't want him to come? ”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “He's still saver with my father than he is raiding a dragon infested island with us, isn't he?” That was.... an actual question. Not a rhetoric one, like one would expect. No. Arthur was seriously asking. His tone was probably supposed to be rhetoric, but he sounded too emotional. Too concerned. Too guilty.

Gwaine's mouth dropped open. Merlin's heart stilled. “Since when are you so worried about Merlin?”, Gwaine asked and sat up straight. After all... Arthur had never really shown his emotional side to Gwaine. Not like this. Not verbally. There would be lots of teasing, surely. Later on, of course. And Arthur should know that. But Arthur was sleep deprived and concerned and he needed to vent. That may not be wise. But since when do people do reasonable things?

“I'm not worried.”, Arthur denied immediately. Gwaine raised an eyebrow. Which Arthur noticed. “Look -”, Arthur started. “I couldn't take Merlin with us on this trip. Merlin is a servant and he's always unarmed-”

“That never stopped you from taking him on hunts.”, Gwaine raised both eyebrows now.

Arthur groaned. “That's different. We're knights. We can protect him from bandits. Dragon's are.... a whole different story. I faced one and I passed out and I still don't know HOW we survived. I know I killed it, but it was incredibly close. And this mission... I'm not sure we'll make it.”, Arthur let his head sink.

Gwaine paused for a moment. “Wait... you think we'll all die?”, he asked, eyes wide and suddenly terrified. “Of course not.”, Arthur said absently. But it was clearly a lie. “Jesus. You're in a good mood.”, Gwaine mumbled to himself. For the first time, he sounded worried too.

“So... you left Merlin in Camelot because -”

“I don't want him to die.”, Arthur confessed. Albeit reluctantly. “But … you said you thought he'd be here?”, Gwaine pointed out. Arthur breathed. Then he turned to look at Gwaine. “Is it selfish to wish he had ignored my orders?”

Gwaine blinked. “Huh?” To be fair, he had wanted to tease Arthur about the fact that nothing Arthur just said opposed the idea that he was – indeed – worried about Merlin in any way. But that last comment confused him and changed the focus of this conversation.

“I don't want him to die with us. But -”, Arthur bit his lip. “If I die, I'd rather die at his side. Is that weird?”

Gwaine glanced at the blanket, where Merlin strained his ears to hear every word Arthur was saying. Merlin's breathing was getting rigid. This conversation.... was unusual. Very... unusual for Arthur.

Gwaine blinked, then he forced himself to grin and make a more joyous expression. As he always did. Because positive energy was his thing. “Now now, princess.”, he put an arm around Arthur shoulder, which Arthur let him do with a disapproving frown. “Sounds like someone here got a small crush on our dear Merlin.”

Merlin fought the urge to kick him yet again, worried that this would reveal him from underneath the blanket. Gwaine was clearly overdoing it. He was clearly out to annoy Arthur. Merlin knew that. And he really wanted Gwaine to stop. This was humiliating and mean.

Arthur stared at Gwaine. At the laughing face. The poking and joking and attempt at humiliating him expression. But Arthur's stare didn't waver. And Gwaine's expression lost itself on the realization that he actually hit a mark.

“Wait – seriously?”, he asked and pulled his arm back. Merlin behind him froze. Merlin's inner turmoil was at Gwaine's antics. He had been so focused on cursing Gwaine, that he was completely startled by that sentence. He had not expected for Arthur to just.... not deny it. Which was basically a confession. Merlin's eyes widened. And he stared at the blindness in front of him. Once again, he was completely still. 'Huh?', he thought.

“You think it's weird.”, Arthur turned away, still fumbling with his hands. And had the little snide remark from Gwaine not been, maybe they could have pretended this sentence didn't mean so much. That this was simply about hoping his friend was here. That they just continued their conversation from before, without the additional information that Arthur – indeed – liked Merlin more than he ought to.

“I- what? No!”, Gwaine was quick to retaliate. “Of course not. I'm just surprised, is all. I mean... it's Merlin.”

“And?”, Arthur was frowning. As if ready to defend his friend. Which in itself was news to Merlin. Since when did Arthur defend him behind his back? Either way, this was Merlin they were talking about. And it was Gwaine he was talking about him with. There was no need to get defensive. “I didn't think you'd admit it! Especially to me.” The 'everyone loves Merlin, so of course I'm not surprised' was left unsaid. Needless to say. It was only Merlin who didn't recognize that implication.

Arthur let his shoulders slump. “Yeah well. If we're dying anyway, even you teasing me and telling everyone can't make it worse.”

“First of all. Rude. You underestimate me, Sire. You have no idea what I'm capable of. Second of all. Why are you all so dramatic these days? First Leon, now you? We haven't even arrived at the island yet and you're all planning our funerals! Who is to say we even find the island? Or the dragons?”, Gwaine flailed his arms, before putting a soft hand on Arthur's tense shoulders. His tone turned soft. Very unlike Gwaine. But it was not the first time he had worn that expression. He'd acted like this before. Tender and soft and fond. Mostly for Merlin, because Merlin was his first and therefore best friend. And he worried about him too. “And last, but not least. You'll see Merlin again, Sire. And even if he found out, he wouldn't tease you for this. Merlin has a good heart.”

Arthur looked up. Surprised by the comforting tone of Gwaine's voice. After all, Gwaine was not exactly the go to type, when it came down to emotions.

People often underestimate the clown friend. Radiating joy and fun doesn't always come from ignorance and obliviousness. It doesn't always mean they are secretly depressed either. Often, these kind of people have gone through much more than they let on. Often, they have learned to deal with their own emotions and come to the conclusion that having fun, being truly blissful brightens not only the world of others. It brightens their own as well. That doesn't make them less empathetic. It doesn't make them less understanding. Quite the contrary. They have a deep understanding of such situations and decided not to take it seriously. Because not everything has to be. And sometimes it's smarter not to think about stuff too deeply.

“You think?” Arthur's own voice was strangely hopeful. Like knowing he'd see Merlin again was all that mattered. Like the other comfort about surviving wasn't nearly as helpful. Or dare say, important.

“I'm certain.”, Gwaine grinned knowingly. Arthur smiled in relief at that. There was a pause between them, before Arthur added. “If you ever tell him about this conversation, I'll drown you in the ocean.”

Gwaine laughed at that. “No promises, princess.” Truth is, he could. He could easily promise it. But he wouldn't be Gwaine if he said that. It would be too obvious that he was hiding something as well. Arthur laughed.

“Nuts?”, Gwaine asked, suddenly and held out a can full of salted nuts. Startled by the question, Arthur almost bend over from laughing. “You're unbelievable.”, Arthur shook his head. Suddenly embarrassed that he confessed all this to Gwaine. But he accepted the nuts anyway.

The rest of the night was spend almost quietly. Which wasn't for long and Gwaine did his best to just distract Arthur. Which meant, it was just Gwaine and Arthur chatting about Merlin. It was mostly Gwaine. Because Gwaine's mindless babbling often meant talking positively about Arthur's servant. Arthur was already used to this.

For once though, Arthur was just as deeply into the conversation. “I think, if Merlin was here, he'd feel guilty.”

“Why is that?”, Gwaine asked, encouraging Arthur to continue. He barely concealed his grin, because Merlin was witness to all of this. Unable to move which would lead to exposure.

“Well... the last dragon lord died for him. And now we're visiting the last remains of his culture. Even if they have magic. I can't imagine Merlin be anything but devastated, when he meets them. I suppose the idiot would apologize to them. Like it was in any way his fault! Merlin can be such an idiot sometimes. One would think he wants to die, so often as he drinks poison for others or jumps into mid battle, unarmed. I'm honestly glad he has the decency to hide most of the time, while we handle things. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on fighting, if he just -”, Arthur exhaled a deep breath and flailed his arms to imply Merlin running into knifes. “He's too brave for his own good.”

“Merlin is the bravest.”

“The bravest man I ever met.”, Arthur agreed and got a chuckled clap on his shoulder for that. “Look at you, Sire. Saying all these nice things about Merlin. Wait till I tell him about it.”

Arthur immediately recoiled. “Seriously, don't.”

“Why? What's so bad about him knowing that you care?”, Gwaine frowned in amusement. Thinking, that Arthur was just shy.

“He knows that I care. I'm pretty damn obvious about it. No need to put any more attention to it.”

Gwaine scoffed in disbelieve. “YOU? Obvious that you CARE? Really? This is what you call obvious?”

“What do you mean?”, Arthur frowned, honestly confused, while Merlin was trying to breathe even slower. Because somehow Arthur had shifted closer to the blanket. A hand was put on it. If Arthur himself made the wrong move, he'd accidentally pull the blanket off of him.

“Arthur. I don't think Merlin even knows you appreciate him at all.”

Arthur was stunned with silence. “You're joking.” Merlin blinked underneath the blanket. Just what on earth was Arthur talking about?

Gwaine stared at him. “Sire... what exactly do you understand about being obvious about this?”

Arthur frowned. “Well... Erm. I'm the prince of Camelot. My father has never allowed me to have friends that are not royal enough to be of knightly status. Merlin is a servant. Yet, he's my best friend.”

Gwaine stared back at him. “Have you told him that?”

Arthur blinked. “No... because my father would ground me, if I ever did. But I have...”, he slowly swayed to the side, searching for the right words. “I treat him like a knight. I take him on hunts where servants are not allowed. I used to punch him, too, like I would a knight, to cheer him up. Though I stopped that, because he said he doesn't like it. And I mean... I stopped. I wouldn't do that for just anyone!

My guards have been ordered to let him into my room, even if I ordered them to let no one in. If I don't want him around, I have to tell them that specially. I er... let him steal my food. He loves blackberries. So do I, but he doesn't need to know that.

He's always insulting me or my father behind his back, but I don't really throw him in the stocks for that. Which I should. That kind of talk is treason. He could be hanged for that, you know?

I give him unnecessary chores, just so he has a reason to hang out with me. And he doesn't get punished, though what he does is a really shabby job. Now that I think about it, I think I mostly pay him for insulting me.

I've defended him in front of my father. I have used my word as knight for him more than once. I have trusted him with my life and drank poison because he told me it was a good idea. Or because the choice was either him or myself. And I trusted him with the antidote or with taking my royal seal back to Camelot to whoever I want to precede me. I have saved his life and protected him in battle...”, at this point, Arthur was counting on his fingers and it looked like he was about to go on for hours.

However, Gwaine looked at him oddly, which made Arthur pause as soon as he noticed. “What?”, he asked, clearly confused with Gwaine's reaction.

“Well... just. I see what you mean.”, Gwaine was talking slowly. Realizing that yes... from Arthur's point of view, all of that was actually extraordinary behavior. But for anyone else... “But you do realize that most of that is just... Look. The things you describe...

Half of the stuff happens behind his back, which you don't tell him. So how would he know? Other stuff is like.... Merlin probably thinks he's just stealing your stuff. Defending someone innocent is not something you do for someone you like. It's something you do for strangers, if their life depends on it. It's something Merlin himself would do for anyone.

And... treating him like a person when he argues with you and taking him seriously is hardly an expression of love, Arthur. I know in your position that's different. But to anyone else. Jesus christ, how do I put this?

The only extraordinary thing about all this, is you risking your life for him. Which he would do for you – for anyone really – without even thinking. And YOU would die for your own people too. I hardly think he sees a difference in your behavior towards him and your general behavior to your people.

Merlin would risk his life for anyone. He doesn't even demand thanks for it.

What you do, is... for a prince.... extremely … er... let's say affectionate. But for Merlin, it's... how do I put it … less than the minimum.”

Arthur blinked. Finally Merlin shifted underneath the blanket. His eyes blinking rapidly now. Gwaine was right. This WAS how he saw things. But the way Arthur described the way he acted.... that wasn't just Arthur trying his best to be a good prince or person. This was Arthur trying his hardest to show he cared! Cared for Merlin! Merlin felt... touched? Kind of. The crush thing aside. That was a whole different level of work in process. (1) He felt his own face heat up with the knowledge that these things... These things that Merlin had guessed were normal for Arthur... that Arthur had done them on purpose. That he had actually thought about Merlin to make sure he was cared for. That this was a far as he could push himself and did it despite the risk of being scolded by his father.

Arthur's mouth was open now. Unable to retort or add on to his previous examples. “But -”

“You do know, Merlin still doesn't believe us, when we tell him that you risked your life getting him a flower, because he thinks we're messing with him, right?”

“That's ridiculous. That flower was needed for an antidote! What is there to doubt about it?”, Arthur exclaimed, almost furious. Merlin shuddered in surprise. 'Huh?', he thought to himself, his face flushing hard.

“Yeah. I know. He does not.”, Gwaine nodded eagerly.

“But... I thought I was so obvious? I mean... Even my father noticed! He's told me I was getting too close to Merlin. So I tried to hold back, but... I thought Merlin knew.”, Arthur appeared shocked. Like someone had just turned his entire world upside down.

“The king noticed?”, Gwaine raised both eyebrows in shock.

“Yes, I mean. When I came back with that flower, he threw me in the dungeons for it. He keeps reminding me that I'm not supposed to be friends with Merlin. He keeps offering me new servants! I've turned down five offers last week!”

Gwaine's mouth dropped open. “Woow.”, he made impressed. “If Uther thinks THAT's a lot. What kind of childhood did you have?”

Arthur looked up, surprised. “I dunno? A normal one I guess? I mean. I didn't have a mom and my father was always busy and Morgana and I were fighting all the time, so....”

Gwaine's eyes squished a little. “Have you ever even been hugged?”, he asked with suspicion.

Arthur straightened his back. “I'm.... not supposed to get close to people until I get married.”, he muttered. Gwaine stared and his mouth dropped open again. “I meant Uther. Did you father never hug you?”

“Was he supposed to do that?”

Gwaine's jaw dropped. “And here I always thought you just were a stuck up royal like anyone else. But your father abandoned you. No wonder you have no idea how to deal with emotions.” Arthur flushed and tried to retort, but then he closed his mouth. Embarrassed.

Gwaine hurried to correct himself. “I mean... considering all this, you're doing a lot, actually. You're a good man, Arthur. I wouldn't be your knight, if I didn't think you were worth dying for. Just. God damn it, I'm getting so mad right now. Your father is an asshole. I mean, I already knew that. But holy shit.”

Arthur frowned. “Don't talk about my father like this!”, he growled, but Gwaine stopped him again. “Nope. You don't get to decide that. You're in denial. He abandoned you. He keeps sending you on quests that could get you killed. He didn't even show you that he cares if you come back!”

“He cried when he thought I was dead though!”, Arthur commented, remembering the troll Catrina accident.

Gwaine blinked. “Good to know where he draws the line. What the fuck, Arthur.”

Arthur bit his lips. He felt defensive for his father. But... wasn't it bad... that he couldn't see a single flaw in Gwaine's accusation?

“Merlin is your exact opposite, you know.”, Gwaine suddenly said and slowly patted Arthur's shoulder. This time highly aware of the fact that this was probably the closest contact Arthur allowed for anyone. Apart from the fact that Arthur had a crush on Merlin and Merlin was the guy who dressed him.... Let's not get into that.

“I know.”

“He grew up with a mom who hugged him every day. Arthur, Merlin is the most affectionate person I know. He's extremely emotional and he's not afraid to show it.”

“I know.”, Arthur said again, but this time softer.

“Compared to that your way of dealing with things probably looks more like you're pushing him away.”

Arthur's head sank and his shoulders dropped. He grabbed the blanket tighter. “I know.”, he said yet again. Frustrated this time. 'I'm trying.', he didn't say, but they all knew it.

“You should talk to him.”

“I know.”, Arthur was defeated.

It was quiet between them once again and Arthur stared out on the sea. And from the distance, you could see the first sun rays of the day illuminate the wooden deck of the ship. Arthur stared at it, as long as it was possible to look into the direction. While Gwaine watched him with worry. Gwaine had almost forgotten Merlin was still there. Merlin, who was trying his hardest to appear invisible. And quiet. And still. Nobody could hear his loud heart beat, but Merlin himself. Though he could swear someone had to notice at some point.

“Rise and shine.”, Arthur suddenly said and smiled to himself. For the first time, the conversation went beyond Gwaine's understanding and he could just stare at him in confusion.

But Merlin could hear what Arthur was actually saying. It was the sentence Merlin always woke Arthur up with. In this context, it meant, Arthur was thinking of that. Of early mornings and Merlin in it. The way his smile slowly fell, Merlin could feel that Arthur was actually missing him. And hoping he was here. Unaware that his wish had already come true.

It took Merlin everything he had in himself, to not jump up from underneath the blanket and just hug him to death. Which he now knew would equal a marriage proposal to Arthur. Oh god, all those love potion incidents …. where Arthur hugged and kissed random women. The boy must have had a mental breakdown afterwards. Now that Merlin thought of it, Arthur used to behave really strange after those incidents.

Meaning, he wouldn't talk to anyone. He would excuse himself a lot. Would be anxious around everyone he was forced to talk to. And he'd be especially awkward around Merlin. Merlin's eyes widened once again with a start and it paralyzed him as he realized precisely WHY that had been. He flushed. And he was glad Arthur couldn't see him like this.

“Sire?”, Gwaine finally asked, still uncharacteristically gentle. Arthur shook his head. “Nothing. I'll go back to sleep. Leon should be up soon. I think he's already feeling much better.” Arthur sighed and pushed himself up. He let go of the blanket, making Merlin exhale a deep breath. Then he took the ladder down again.

One last time, he was stopped by Gwaine. “Wait, Arthur.”

Arthur stopped for a moment. “What is it?”, he asked.

“You like Merlin right? As in, you're in love with him.”

Arthur flushed, but he answered with a hesitant “yes.”. Which was like a major blow in Merlin's guts. Because being in love was an entirely different thing than having a crush. And yet, to have this confirmed... Merlin struggled to breathe.

“What will you do, if he doesn't like you back?”

There was a pause. A heavy one. Then Arthur sighed. “Gwaine... It's not like anything can happen between us anyway. Even if Merlin did like me back. I can't tell him. Merlin is the best friend I have. I couldn't bear to loose him. I won't let anything or anyone, not my father, not a potential wife, not even my own feelings get in the way of that. I won't ruin what we have. I couldn't live with myself.” And with that, he disappeared under deck. Leaving Gwaine behind, completely stunned.

Finally, Merlin pulled the blanket off of himself and dramatically breathed the fresh air around him. It had started to get really stuffy under that.

Gwaine turned around, almost startled. As if he had truly forgotten that Merlin had been there. They looked at each other for a moment. Unsure what to say.

--------------------------------------------

The storm hit the boat without any warning. Maybe, if they had known about the “calm before the storm”, they would have noticed that there was – indeed – a warning. But they didn't. Because Uther didn't care that these knights had no idea about sailing. Or rather, most of them. The one's who did know about it, had been asleep, as Arthur had assigned none of them to keep watch.

They were lucky they made it in time to get the sails in. But as soon as the storm was raging, they had to hold on to everything for dear life. They had no time to fixate any of their belongings to the ship. Which meant that now, barrels and bottles and cups and knifes and anything they had lying about, was now thrown around their ears.

Those who had the great misfortune to get knocked out by a barrel, got thrown of the ship. But through all that, you couldn't hear the screams and the shouts. The storm was so loud, it deafened everything that was further than two steps away.

In a strange way, the storm came over them silently. Merlin had never managed to get back into his barrel. But he had shushed Gwaine to bind himself to the watchtower. The entire thing was about to be blown off, was it not for Merlin's magic.

In fact, while Gwaine closed his eyes, praying the storm to be over, Merlin used his magic to keep his friends safe. Albeit, there were too many of them. He couldn't safe everyone. But he DID manage to keep Arthur safe. Who was running around in that blasted armor and shouting orders to his subordinates. He was not lucky to be okay. He was lucky to have Merlin to keep him that way.

That was, until Merlin saw his own barrel being thrown off the ship. And Lancelot saw it. But Lancelot didn't know Merlin wasn't in there. Oh fucking hell no.

Lancelot screamed his name. And he managed to shout so loud, that Arthur turned around, totally confused why one of his knights would shout out the name of his servant in the middle of a storm. But Arthur, foolish, kind, love deprived Arthur, made the connection. And when Lancelot shouted at him to explain that Merlin was supposed to be IN that barrel that was now about to drown on the ocean. Arthur did the most foolish thing a prince could do.

He gave Leon the authority.... and – in a panic- jumped after Merlin.

Who was not in that barrel, but on the watch tower. Who watched and stared and couldn't believe what he saw. Because Arthur had just JUMPED of the ship for him. Fully armed with his sword and knife and wearing armor.

'That fucking idiot.”, Merlin mouthed and now panic washed over him as well. In a moment decision, Merlin yelled at Gwaine to stay where he was. And then he slid down the ladder. Not even bothering to use the steps. His hands already burned from the heat of the fraction. And splinters of the cold wood edged into his skin. But he didn't give a damn.

He ran over the deck, seeing panicked and confused faces everywhere and then he directly jumped after Arthur.

The storm wouldn't stop for another five hours. Thanks to Merlin, the casualties were little to none. But even after the storm had calmed and the sea lay still around them, while the knights tried to catch their breath.... Merlin and Arthur could not be found among the wrecks. And Leon's headache was returning. (1) The sentence: work in process is a mix of work in progress and processing something. I found that creative. It’s intentional :)

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#merlin tv #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #fanfiction #my writing #I'll try to post here too now #dragon island #chapter 1 #The calm before the storm #merthur #merlin #arthur #freya #edit later

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muchadorks · 4 years

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I need a Howl’s Moving Castle “Much Ado about Nothing” AU

Just picture it: Sophie as Beatrice and Howl as Benedick, being little shits towards each other and dramatically denying that they feel anything for each other

- Clearly Howl will get Beatrice’s “taming my wild heart” line, but everything else stays the same

- During the disguise scene at the party, Howl is delighted at the opportunity to dress up in disguise and find out what Sophie truly thinks of him

- And Sophie realizes it’s him in two seconds flat (”I RIPPED UP THAT SUIT AND PUT IT BACK TOGETHER, HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM, HOWL???”) but won’t tell him because How Dare This Asshole Try to Make Me Look Like a Fool

- And man, does she ever DRAG HIS ASS

- And Howl mopes about it to Calcifer, who just wants the tantrum over with (”STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO SLIME THE PLACE! NOT BY THE GRATES! DON’T MAKE ME CALL OVER SOPHIE, YOU FOOL!”)

- After Howl’s mope session, Calcifer tells Michael about the situation, who in turn tells Martha, who in turns grabs Lettie and gathers all four of them together

- Martha: So we’re going to trick Howl and Sophie into falling in love by making them overhear that the other has a crush on them.

- Everyone: That... sounds like something they would fall for, yes.

- How could anyone but Martha Hatter come up with such a ridiculous scheme to get Sophie and Howl together?

- And who could anyone but our favourite idiots fall for said ridiculous scheme?

- Calcifer, Michael wait until Howl is upstairs before staging their discussion

- (Calicifer’s doing it just to hopefully get some peace and quiet and attention back on him; Michael’s been dragged into it by Martha even though he’s a terrible liar)

- Of course, Howl is freaking out and, being the drama king he is, cant stop exclaiming and tries to cover it up so poorly

- “SOPHIE LIKES - oh, um, *DRAMTICALLY LOUD COUGHING FIT* ...I’m sick.”

- Martha and Lettie drag Sophie out for a walk around town, and when they have her in a shop, they sneak behind the rack she’s looking at and spill the rumours

- Sophie nearly takes down that rack and probably accidentally enchants a few items while muttering to them about how “This can’t be true, Howl would never... What do you think? You do seem like a sensible shawl, you know, but how do I react to this wonder- I mean, terrible, terrible news...”

- Clearly, Howl and Sophie won’t let their guard down completely after these conversations, but they do develop odd quirks

- Howl won’t leave Sophie the fuck alone

- “Sophie, Sophie, did you see me cast that spell? Did it impress you? Sophie, Sophie, am I the most charming man in the world yet?”

- And Sophie is even more clumsy and flustered around him than normal, so she ends up snapping at him twice as much, furiously cleans the castle twice over with the most ridiculous determination Ingary has ever known and proceeds to enchant over half of the household’s possessions while she mutters grumpily to herself

- Sophie: “You, stool, how dare you get in the way? You ought to know not to trip people when they are trying to clean, for heaven’s sake! Now, next time you MOVE when people are coming near, you hear?”

- *the next day* Michael: “SOPHIE, WHY DOES THE STOOL KEEP MOVING WHEN I TRY TO SIT ON IT? SOPHIE, PLEASE HELP! HOWL? ANYONE???”

- No one in the castle has known peace for two weeks because of this constant madness

- (Calcifer and Michael greatly regret their participation in the matter)

- Anyway, for the matter of the whole wedding drama, let’s pretend that Fanny has set up an arranged marriage for Martha

- (Bless Fanny’s heart, she means well, but she has no clue about Michael)

- The same sort of marriage rejections occurs (which - even though Martha’s been trying to get away from it since the beginning - still is a huge social diss) and Sophie is OUT FOR BLOOD, LET ME TELL YOU

- And while listening to Sophie rant and rage, Howl decides that that’s the best moment to declare his undying love for her

- And ridiculousness of all ridiculousness, Sophie confesses as well but refuses to let Howl sweep her off her feet until he agrees to her revenge plot

- And while Martha’s already got two powerful witches on her side, having the Royal Wizard Pendragon on her side is never a bad thing

- It’s totally Howl’s idea to have the Hatter sisters disguise themselves (Howl’s disguise kink never dies)

- And to fake Martha’s death because he is so fucking dramatic, oh my god

- Calcifer and Michael are in charge for finding out who framed Martha and when they discover them, oh boy, does that person regret the day they were born

- Not only are they dealing with Pissed Off Hatter Sisters, but sweet innocent Michael is discovering bloodlust for the first time in his life

- It’s safe to say that witches and wizards can concoct some pretty unpleasant punishments

- So flashforward: we guilt trip this Terrible Fiancé into marrying Martha’s “double”

- At the alter, she rips off her disguise and is like, “HAHA, YOU THOUGHT, BITCH!”

- And after dragging his ass for several minutes (it’s a Hatter trait, bless them), she declares that she’s marrying Michael (which Michael didn’t know, but it quite pleased to hear about)

- And after the dust settles, Howl proposes to Sophie in front of them crowd with probably the gaudiest, most ostentatious display of magic anyone has every witnessed

- And flustered Sophie turns him down since they’ve been keeping their romance a secret and she cannot deal with this PUBLIC HUMILIATION, HOWL, WHY???

- (and it’s not like their romance isn’t just them arguing a ton, so everyone assumes they are getting on as normal)

- Howl tries to play it off like it was just a joke anyway and NO, he did not spend FOURTEEN HOURS choreographing this magic display, how dare you infer that he’d do something like that - he is HEARTLESS HOWL, thank you very much

- But after Martha and Lettie basically drag them to the altar, do they begrudgingly admit their feelings

- And the moment after they say ‘I do’ s they immediately descend into bickering once more, but at least everyone admits the arguments are more loving

FINI

#my god that took a while #howl's moving castle #howl's moving castle book #much ado about nothing #howl pendragon #sophie hatter #sophie x howl #howl x sophie #howl jenkins pendragon #howl jenkins #martha hatter #michael fisher #lettie hatter #calcifer #much ado about nothing au #martha x michael #dwj #diana wynne jones #hmc book

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ladyloveandjustice · 5 years

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I picked up Howl’s Moving Castle at the used bookstore and as expected it is wildly different from the movie version, though I don’t think the book as is would have made a very coherent movie due to having ten million subplots, so it was probably for the best Miyazaki did his own thing. But I did enjoy the book a lot and here are some elements I found most interesting/amusing.Probably a million people have done these kinds of posts but GUESS WHAT HERE’S ONE FROM ME

-Movie Sophie is kinda outspoken and snarky but she’s got nothing on Book Sophie who is cutthroat as hell with her snark. She’s delivering a sick burn like, every other page. It’s amazing. And her thoughts are pretty friggin’ vicious, it’s like, yes I’ve had thoughts that vicious and I think almost everyone has but it’s unusual to see a character in a book actually express them! There’s one point where she’s really annoyed about this lady asking where her boyfriend who went missing is at really aggressively, so she thinks “maybe I should just go grab that skull over there, wave it in her face and tell her its her boyfriend and he’s dead. ...Nah, it’s too far away. Also that would be unkind.” YEAH SOPHIE JUST A LITTLE. I like how “that would be pretty mean” is just secondary to “ugh and i’d have to get up to go get it”, relatable.

-there’s this whole subplot where Howl is like, actually from our modern world and crossed dimension to Sophie’s world. His name is actually Howell Jenkins (which he hates, of course. PENDRAGON IS SO MUCH COOLER) and his sister thinks he’s a bum. There’s this really convoluted bit where a spell gets mixed up with his nephew’s english homework (I HONESTLY DIDN’T REALLY GET IT I PROBABLY READ TOO FAST) so he and the gang go to see his fam.

and his nephew and his friend are there playing video games and he just walks over and pulls the plug (it took reading it a few times to realize that’s what he did, because Sophie doesn’t know wtf a console/computer is and describes it “as a box with roots that lead to the wall” and says Howl “pulled the roots out”) and the nephew’s like “oh great it’s my shitty uncle hey how dare you” “what haven’t you played this one before” “yeah but like, i don’t have a newer one, I only get them at Christmas”��“well look i’ll get you one if you tell me some stuff here” “omg really!!! sure!!!!”

It’s just...surreal like you think you’re simply in this fantasy world then it’s like NOPE HOWL'S FROM WALES HE HOPS OVER THERE AND GETS HIS NEPHEW VIDEO GAMES WITH MAGIC SOMETIMES.

-it turns out the English homework was poem by John Donne and Howl just goes “JOHN DONNE” in this agonized voice when he finds out. I feel you Howl.

- his sister is so mean to him Sophie’s like “jeez no wonder he left this world” but then later when he whines that Sophie’s reminding him of his sister with how mean she’s being she’s like “WELL I’M STARTING TO THINK YOUR SISTER IS LIKE THAT BECAUSE SHE HAD TO PUT UP WITH YOU GROWING UP GOD I CAN’T IMAGINE.” Sophie shows No Mercy.

-Sophie meets with Howl’s magic teacher while pretending to be his Mom and she informs her she’s been a powerful witch subconsciously doing magic this whole time and Sophie just shrugs like yeah that makes sense, its the chillest ‘realize you’re magic” scene ever.

-the Witch of the Waste is not remotely redeemable here, she casually MURDERS howl’s magic mentor lady off screen and just meets Sophie on the street saying “lol guess what I just got back from doing”.Howl kills her later and like, justified, honestly.

-Howl’s pretty clearly deeply genuinely heartbroken about his mentor’s death, which you can tell because he DOESN’T make a big production of it like he does everything else, but surprisingly there’s like no moment of bonding where Sophie talks to him about grief or whatever, nope, business as usual. He turns into a dog to go to her funeral even though the Witch is after him and its super dangerous, but puts on this fancy black suit first and Sophie’s like “do you really need the suit if you’re just going to be a dog” “Y E S.”

-At one point Howl gets a cold and is super dramatic about it of course and Sophie is just super done and snarks at him to deal with it. Then later she’s like “hey are you goin’ out in the rain with that cold” and he’s like “YEAH I’LL PROBABLY DIE. THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY”. “ok have fun then.” “BURY ME NEXT TO MY DEAR TEACHER”. “kay, will do”. Legendary.

- Howl goes around getting girls to fall in love with him and then dumping them the second they do, and there’s this whole subplot where Sophie’s worried he’s gonna break her sister’s heart and is like “oh god gotta warn my sister about this fucker” but then it turns out her sister (who’s a witch in her own right) never fell for Howl’s bullshit for a second and was just using him to get info on Sophie because she was worried about her, it’s pretty great.

-seriously there are so many subplots there’s even a subplot with Sophie’s OTHER sister and Micheal (who’s 15 in the book) having a romance and there’s a thing with this dog guy too like...there are so many things, probably too many.

-Sophie gets SO PISSED when she finds out everyone basically knew about her curse (Howl and Micheal are like “uh was it supposed to be a secret??”) she almost murders Howl with magical weedkiller

-at the end, another fire demon attacks and tries to get Howl’s heart and he sorta-dies and Sophie just clobbers it with her cane and then enchants her cane to beat the shit out of it. After Sophie gets his heart from Calcifer and shoves it back in he’s like “wow ouch do I have a hangover?” and she’s like “ugh no you were dead now shut up and kill the demon”. I can see why the movie ended more romantically, but honestly, would have loved to see Sophie just go to town with her cane, much preferred climax.

-in the back there’s a q and a with Diana Wynne Jones, and she’s like “yeah a lot of women who read this book tell me they want to marry Howl and that really confuses me. He’s take so long in the bathroom every morning. you’d never get to use it.” and it’s hilarious that’s like, the dealbreaker for her.

Anyway, yeah it was a fun book!

#howl's moving castle

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thegeminisage · 5 years

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top 10 merlin episodes a list by me

2.08 The Sins of the Father - this is the pinnacle of this whole entire show. this episode changed me as a human person. i went from “arthur sucks” to “WE STAN” so fast i got whiplash. watching arthur snap and try to kill his own father once he FINALLY understood who uther really was made me love him forever. here’s a whole-ass post i made about this episode & here’s a nice little screencap set that i love

5.03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon - if there is anything on god’s green earth as excellent as watching arthur try to kill his father it’s watching his father try to kill HIM, first with criticism, and then literally. screamed thru this entire episode especially when merlin DID THAT! daddy issues literally haunting poor arthur...what more could u ask for?? here’s a whole-ass post for this one too

4.10 A Herald of the New Age - we got to see SO MUCH DEPTH from my boy arthur here...we got to tackle the true fallout of the crimes the pendragon monarchy has committed...this episode got very “fullmetal alchemist” near the end (tackling war & genocide) & i’m into it. wouldn’t you know it, there’s a post for this one too

5.12/5.13 The Diamond of the Day - i have mixed feelings about season 5 and the finale overall but there’s no way i can’t include this when arthur and merlin finally got to have an honest conversation. bonus: that shit with merlin being magic itself really almost made me lose it. yes, there is a post - there is also a second post

4.12/4.13 The Sword in the Stone - not ONLY am i a total nerd for sword-in-stone imagery but this episode also contains merlin DOING THAT!! every time he gets to be a badass my heart soars. two posts for this one too. i actually didn’t like the first half of this two-partner as much because of the Very Creepy Spell but yk whatever whatever

2.13 The Last Dragonlord - each and every thing involving arthur’s mom or merlin’s dad mcmurders me dead. i almost wept during this episode. i don’t have a post for it but that’s because i don’t think i can ever watch it again. merlin having to pretend he wasn’t crying when he was crying ENDED me - it’s so unfair he can help arthur bear his pain but not the other way around. HE DESERVES TO GO THROUGH THE ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN TOO :(

4.01/4.02 The Darkest Hour - arthur and merlin spend this entire episode 1. scared shitless 2. ADMITTING WITH NO IRONY THAT THEY ARE SCARED SHITLESS 3. trying to die for one another 4. shit talking one another to keep their morale up. in addition i think these episodes had the scariest motw in the entire series, PLUS i am always grateful for an uptick in lancehot content. good all the way around. yes there’s a post

3.11 The Sorcerer's Shadow - it’s so funny that right before i watched this one (like LITERALLY the night before) i was complaining about merlin as a character, how i didn’t understand his motives, why he would repeatedly risk his own life to save someone like uther, and then the very next day i was given this. i have a few mixed feelings about the execution of it but overall this episode was the mini-version of merlin’s “arthur trying to kill his own dad” moment for me...i felt like for the first time i really understood who he was through and through. there is a very long post for this one

1.04 The Poisoned Chalice - i don’t have a post for this one but like what else can POSSIBLY be said about this episode...i said once “if you’re interested in merlin try the first four eps” because this is where it gets good. FOUR EPISODES IN and they’re ready to die for each other...this is also the first time arthur stands up to his father and does something selfless...the first time he sees magic used for good...it’s where we start to get to know who he really is without uther’s influence, what kind of show this is going to be, what we can expect from the antagonists (especially uther), and it even hints at the larger mystery surrounding the history of what started the purge and why uther hates magic and nimueh in particular SO much...this episode is SO IMPORTANT and actually it was being told the basic plot of this episode that swayed me into giving merlin a go to begin with so without this episode? i would not be writing this post.

4.06 A Servant of Two Masters - while i would have rather seen this concept (brainwashed merlin tries to assassinate arthur) played for high drama instead of hijinks (what can i say, i have a weakness for brainwashed assassins...), the hijinks were PRETTY GOOD and the parts that WERE dramatic were also quite good AND it was merlin and arthur’s FIRST AND ONLY HUG. there’s really nothing not to love. i do have a post about this one too

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE: 1.10 (arthur going back to ealdor to defend it from bandits and feeling human empathy), 1.11 (arthur learning humility via murdering a unicorn and also nearly dying for merlin), 3.04 (introduction of gwaine), 3.12/3.13 (gwaine content, ROUND TABLE KNIGHTS ASSEMBLE), 4.03 (uther’s death AT LAST oh babey), 5.01/5.02 (arthur spends the entirety of two episodes running around in the snow looking nice and having an absolute BLAST on his suicide mission to rescue his captured/enslaved men)

#personal #merlin blogging #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #my fever broke for a little while so i got up to eat cereal and type this post #im going back 2 bed #i'll have you know it took me DAYS to make this list. like a single day #trying to weed them out was like picking children #my initial list started at like...17 or 18 so almost half got the cut #it was agonizing #1.10 and 3.13 really are some of my favorites.#liz makes stuff

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madamebaggio · 5 years

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Make your bets!

How long until Arthur Pendragon and Sansa Stark admit they’re dating? Close sources from both artists have confirmed they hardly talk about anyone else. “Sansa is in love.” A close friend said. “She’s been careful, because her last relationship ended so badly, but she’s clearly into him.” The whole internet is waiting for it. So, what’s the delay?

Chapter 9

Shae was checking Sansa’s schedule for the rest of the day, when the girl herself barreled into the room, breathless and red faced

That Arthur fellow had a gift.

“What did he do?” She asked, arching a brow.

“We kissed.” Sansa blurted, then immediately covered her mouth.

Shae chuckled. “You weren’t expecting it?”

“Were you?” Sansa screeched.

Shae shrugged. “For a while now.”

Sansa rubbed a hand down her face. “What’s wrong?” Shae asked gently.

“I kind of… Ran away.” Sansa admitted.

“Oh, Sansa.” Shae gave her a kind smile. “I understand it; you’re a bit scared because he makes you feel things.”

“Yes! How is that possible? We barely know each other! He has no right to mess me up like this.”

“Slow down, Sansa.” Shae asked. “You’re freaking out for no reason so far. It was one kiss.”

“It isn’t just that.” Sansa confessed. “He wanted to meet me today because he wrote a song for me.”

Shae was surprised. “He gave you a song?”

“Yes, and it’s damn near perfect.”

Oh, to be young and in love…

“Did you feel like you had to kiss him?” Shae asked.

“Not for the reason you’re suggesting.” Sansa sighed. “I had to kiss him because… I really had to.”

Shae chuckled. “If it was that important to you…” She teased. “Isn’t he calling you?”

“I turned off my phone.” Sansa winced. “I was afraid he’d call, scared he wouldn’t…”

Shae rolled her eyes. “Well, he called me twice.”

“What?” Sansa gaped.

“He was concerned.” Shae shrugged and he wanted to know if you’d arrived fine.”

“What did you tell him?” Sansa demanded.

“That you hadn’t arrived yet, but I’d kill him if he’d upset you.”

Sansa groaned, then threw herself on the couch. “And?”

“He told me he was worried he had upset you. He asked me to let him know when you arrived, but I won’t do that.”

Sansa took one look at Shae’s fierce look and knew exactly why she wouldn’t do it. “Because I’ll be the one calling.” Sansa guessed.

“Exactly.”

“Am I a coward now?” Sansa wondered with another sigh.

Shae got closer to Sansa and put a hand on her shoulder. “No, you aren’t. You got messed up at a very young age, these things leave marks. I can understand why you’re skittish. It’s up to you to decide what you’ll do now. I know you can predict what will happen, but -for what is worth-I like this one.”

Sansa smiled at Shae, then excused herself to go to her room. When she turned her phone on, there were four lost calls from Arthur and many messages asking her if she was okay, if she was angry at him, and to just let him know when she got home.

Sansa took a deep breath. She’d dealt with Cersei and Joffrey, she wasn’t a coward. Talking to Arthur Pendragon should be easy.

Then why was her heart beating like this?

“Sansa!” He answered on the second ring, his voice relieved. “Are you back home?”

“I am.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for running.”

“Was it something I said? Was it because I kissed you?” It was obvious that this answer was very important to him.

“I kissed you too.”

He sighed. “I know. I wanted to kiss you, but I didn’t want to upset you.”

“I’m not upset. I’m confused.” She admitted.

“Ok… Why?”

“I didn’t go there expecting to get kissed.”

“I promise I didn’t call you here for that.” He hurried to say.

“I believe you.”

“But damn those eyes of yours, Stark.”

That man! “So it’s my fault now?” She demanded.

“Completely your fault.” He told her, and she could picture his smile as he said that. “I’m just a man, and you charmed me with those polite words of yours. I mean, the first time we talked on the phone and you called me ‘Mr. Pendragon’, like I was a misbehaving boy, I knew I was about to be a goner.”

Sansa laughed at his obvious teasing. He was ridiculous. “Oh shut up.”

“But, Sansa…” He sounded a bit serious. “I wasn’t wrong, ok? I am a goner. You got me. Sorry about it.”

She wasn’t expecting this. “Aren’t you supposed to be all bad boy and unapologetic?”

He laughed. “There you go judging me.” He said dramatically. “Ok, I am not sorry. Listen… In two weeks we’ll give a party. I’ve already invited Jon and Arya. Think you can make an appearance?”

She smiled. “I’ll see what I can do for you, Pendragon.”

***

These two weeks passed simultaneously fast and slow. Sansa knew this was difficult to understand, but it was the truth.

She had many things to do; interviews, preparing for a world tour and a lot of things in between. She was extremely busy, but in the moments she wasn’t, time seemed to dragged by.

Shae thought this hilarious, while Brienne wasn’t amused at all.

Arya didn’t look impressed. “I thought you two weren’t being shipped anywhere.”

Sansa groaned. “It isn’t like that.”

“Yet. That’s what you mean, right? It isn’t like that yet.” Arya offered dryly.

“It’s complicated.” Sansa insisted.

Arya sighed. “You’re scared, aren’t you?”

“Panicking.” Sansa confessed. “He seems so nice and incredible, but… So did Joffrey at some point.”

“Look…” Arya seemed like she was about to say something than thought better of it. “Is it… Can I say something honestly to you?”

Sansa smiled at her sister. “Yes.”

“We all hated Joffrey from the first second we saw him.” Arya said. “None of us liked him. Not even mother.”

“But…” Sansa paused.

“Robb said something, and so did I.” Arya reminded her.

“Yes, but I thought he was just being over protective and you were just being difficult.” Sansa argued.

“I was being difficult.” Arya admitted. “But I also hated him. Dad just didn’t know how to say it to you. We felt like he was a bad choice.”

“Why didn’t they say something to me?”

“I think mom thought that if we said anything it’d only encourage you. You know? Like the parents saying ‘don’t smoke pot’ and then the kids go and do exactly that, just because.”

“Oh god.” Sansa groaned.

“But my point is…” Arya cleared her throat. “We actually like Arthur. Jon and I, at least. He’s a little shit, but he isn’t a jerk.”

Sansa chuckled. “He is a little shit.”

Arya narrowed her eyes. “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

“We kissed.” Sansa confessed.

“Holy fuck. I didn’t expect that.” She paused. “Was it good?”

Sansa sighed. “It was perfect.”

“What was perfect?” Jon asked, coming into the living room. They were all going together to the party.

Before Sansa could change the subject, Arya decided to include Jon on it. “Sansa kissed Arthur.”’

“He kissed me!” Sansa protested.

Jon frowned. “Did he take advantage?”

Arya snorted. “She liked it, Jon. Keep up.”

Jon relaxed immediately. “He is nice.” He shrugged.

“Better than Joffrey apparently.” Sansa said dryly.

Jon cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. “Something like that.”

***

Camelot’s party was happening at Goosefat Bill’s apartment, as Arthur insisted on calling the man.

Sansa always had a hard time talking to him, because he looked too much like Petyr Baelish, the owner of the biggest model agency in the country and a creep. However Jon assured her William was completely different from Baelish, even if they looked identical.

Ygritte and the guys from Jon’s band were there already and Arya said Gendry was late, but there was a lot of people.

“Do you see your boyfriend?” Arya asked.

“Shut…”

“Sansa.”

He was here.

Well, obviously. It was his party after all, but still… In these last two weeks, they’d talked a lot on the phone, because Arthur said he liked to hear her voice. They’d also texted some, but they’d carefully avoided talking more about the kiss or what it all meant.

And now he was here.

It was ridiculous how he made her stomach flutter and her heart speed up, like she was a teen in love.

It was also extremely ridiculous how hot he was.

“You’re here.” He grinned at her.

“I thought I’d been invited.” She teased.

“You’re always invited, Stark.” He finally remembered they weren’t alone. “Snow. Mini Stark.”

Arya snorted. “Cute. What are your intentions with my sister?”

“Arya!” Sansa wanted to die. “Are you…”

“I want her to teach me how to dance, so we can cover ‘Genie in a bottle’ together.” Arthur informed Arya easily.

Jon frowned. “Why that song?”

Trust Jon to ask the important questions.

And Arthur didn’t disappoint. “I always thought the rubbing part was hilarious.”

Sansa snorted, as Arya planted her elbow on Arthur’s side. “There’ll be no rubbing, Pendragon, unless my sister wants to be rubbed.”

Jon’s glare probably meant he agreed. Sansa wanted to kill them both.

Arthur chuckled good naturedly. “I like your sister a lot, Mini Stark. My only intention is that she understands that.”

That man! How could he… What the…

Arya narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ll do, Pendragon. I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”

“I’ll help.” Jon offered.

“I accept your terms.” Arthur nodded formally, then turned to Sansa with the biggest smile ever. “Come on, I wanna introduce you to the guys.”

Arya and Jon magically disappeared, leaving them alone. “You think you’re so cute.” She accused.

“No. I think I’m devilishly handsome.” Arthur corrected.

She rolled her eyes. “I think you’re full of it.” She arched a brow. “You have intentions now?”

“I’ve always had them.” Arthur indicated, steering Sansa in a direction. “I’ve never lied to you. Why would I start now?”

“So what are your intentions?” She asked, curious despite her nervousness.

“Short term or long term?” He asked as he guided her through the crowd.

Sansa wanted to know what he thought it could happen to them long term, but she was scared shitless of asking. So she defused. “Short term.”

“I really hope I get to kiss you by the end of the night.” He told her.

Sansa stopped and turned to him. “Arthur…”

“If you want, Red.” He chucked her gently under the chin. “I promise I’ll only kiss you if you want me to. But, for the record, I really wanna kiss you.”

She really wanted to kiss him too. She bit her lower lip and Arthur covered his eyes dramatically.

“Stop tempting me, Stark! You’re meeting my friends first.” He declared.

“Why?”

He went back to guiding her somewhere. “So they can get the teasing out of the way.”

Sansa laughed as they entered what looked like an entertainment room. She spotted the other members of Camelot as soon as they did.

“Look who’s here!” Back Lack announced upon seeing them. “Mr. and Ms. Stark.”

Sansa snorted. “I guess we found out who’s been doing all that fanart of us together.”

“I’m pretty sure they started this whole shipping thing.” He told her. “Back Lack, pretend you are normal, ok? This is Sansa Stark, everyone.” He indicated Sansa. “These is Percival, Nimue, Back Lack and Wet Stick.” He pointed at each as he said their names.

“Nice to meet you all.” Sansa smiled at them.

“We’ve been meaning to ask you…” Wet Stick called. “What do you see in him? He’s a wanker.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Arthur cut, even as Sansa laughed.

“Have you decided what you’ll do for your duet yet?” Nimue asked.

“Nimue.” Arthur groaned. “We don’t have plans for that.”

The thing was… Should Sansa tell him?

She was writing a song. For them.

She hadn’t planned on writing anything, but after the song he gave her, after the kiss… It’d just happened. The words came to her easily, and so had the melody. It wasn’t for him or for her; it was for them.

She would wait. When it was finished she could show him.

“We’re still setting a date to meet my choreographer.” Sansa informed Nimue. “He needs to work on his moves.”

Arthur’s friends exploded in laughter. “My moves are great, alright?” He grumbled.

“I’m sure they are.” Sansa grinned at him.

***

Only hours later it occurred to Sansa that Arthur hadn’t left her side the whole time. He got her drinks, and asked if she needed anything, but otherwise, he remained firmly by her. It wasn’t a complaint; it was nice.

He introduced her to people, listened to her when she talked and seemed genuinely pleased to be close to her.

It was intoxicating.

The party was already winding down, when they were finally alone in an office.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Red.” He smiled at her.

“Thank you for inviting me.” She smiled back.

Arthur put his arm on the couch’s back and rested his head on his hand. “Can we talk about that kiss now? The one from before?” He asked gently.

Sansa sighed. “You mean when I ran?”

“I’m not pressuring you or anything.” He assured her. “But… Was it because I scared you?”

She did owe him some sort of explanation. “You don’t scare me.” She told him honestly. “But… The things you make me feel do.”

“OK…”

“I feel like I’m getting into this too fast.” She sighed again. “I’m afraid I’m about to jump and fall on rocks.”

“It’s been fast.” Arthur agreed. “But is it something I’m doing? Do you feel like I’m the one rushing you?”

“No.” She confessed. “It’s just that…” She pressed her lips together. “I’ve been burned before.”

He knew it. Bill had told him about the rumors. “Look, I like you, Sansa. I honestly do. It’s kind of weird, because there was something about you from the beginning. I wasn’t expecting you. I didn’t call you because you were good looking. I never saw you coming.”

Sansa felt a blush spreading across her face. “I can say the same.” She bit her lower lip. “Can we go slow?”

Arthur pushed a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Sansa, we can go any way you want. We can even not go, if you…”

“I want to go.” She assured him. “Just… Slow.”

“I’m ok with slow.” He confirmed.

“How about your short term intentions?” She teased.

“They can go on hold.” He replied easily.

She hummed an understanding. “What if they don’t need to?”

Arthur looked at her, his face carefully bland. “What if they don’t?” He asked back.

Sansa laughed. “Kissing is fine.”

“Kissing is more than fine, Red. I don’t mean to brag…”

“Of course not.”

“But I’m an expert on kissing.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

Sansa chuckled. “You’re ridiculous, that’s what you are.”

“You’re ridiculous. Ridiculously good-looking.” He groaned dramatically. “Look at you.”

Sansa laughed harder at his antics. “Stop!” She protested, trying to contain her laughter. “I want a kiss.”

“You’re becoming way too demanding.” He sassed her.

“So you don’t want to kiss me?” She teased back.

“Let’s not go crazy here, Red. I wanna kiss you all the time.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing on Earth.

“So?” She teased, using that polite tone he always talked about so much.

“And now you’re trying to seduce me.” He sighed dramatically. “Fine, I can do it.”

“If you’re going to act like it’s such a chore…” Sansa got up, like she intended to go away -she didn’t, but she had so much fun teasing Arthur -but she didn’t go far at all. He grabbed her by her jean’s belt loop and pulled her back.

Conveniently on his lap.

They weren’t laughing anymore.

“Too much?” He asked, looking into her eyes.

Sansa shook her head.

“Good.”

He kissed her just the way they were, Sansa sprawled on his lap, one of his arms supporting her back.

Kissing Sansa Stark was definitely his new favorite hobby. He could easily get used to this.

She was soft and sweet and giving. He felt he could get lost in her and he’d never mind. Honestly, if he wasn’t careful he’d turn into Ed Sheeran and write love songs for her.

That would certainly make an interesting headline.

She nipped at his lower lip, and Arthur kissed her harder for it. It wasn’t a sweet kiss like their first one. This one was messier and harder, and Arthur knew that if they didn’t stop this, things wouldn’t be going slower at al.

It was Sansa who gently pulled back a while later. “I like kissing you.” She told him, her lips plump from all the kissing, her face red.

“I’m here to serve.” Arthur pressed a peck to her lips.

Slow was good too.

**************

Notes: Soooooooooooooooooo?

Next one is the last one!

I hope you guys enjoyed it! And because I lvoe this ship so much I’m obviously not letting it go that easily, so I hope you like “Ten Things I Hate About You” ;)

#madame baggio #Crossover Pairings #CrossOver #fanfiction #modern au #game of thrones #king arthur legend of the sword #Sansa Stark #Arthur Pendragon #Sansa x Arthur #theres no way

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windschildfanfictionwriter · 5 years

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What type of scenes make you want to reread them over and over again? What type of scenes makes you roll your eyes? What was the last scene or story that made you ugly cry?

What type of scenes make you want to reread them over and over again?

Reveals are big for me. I LOVE when the author has kept MC’s secret nice and safe for a good chunk of the book and THEN there is a dramatic reveal. I will reread that long after the sun has set.

BAMF moments featuring my favorite characters especially against a particularly vicious villain. There’s this scene in a fanfic from 15? Years ago between this kid and this homophobic and the kid is trying to get people to sign his petition for gay marriage so that he can be legally adopted and the interaction between him and the crowd is just so freaking cool. I’ve reread it probably a couple hundred times. Ron against the Puppet Master in Within These Walls. Absolutely great.

Camaraderie between characters. [Why I love ‘Within These Walls’ so much] and Order of the Phoenix. The Pendragon series in how Bobby and Mark and Courtney are just… there for each other. The Percy Jackson series for obvious reasons. Accidental Sorcerer. All amazing when it comes to the characters being there for each other.

Humor: I adore stories that have a humorous edge. Stories that don’t take themselves too seriously. ‘How to Save a Kingdom’ comes to mind. ‘Goblin Quest’ is another. Quirky Main protagonists. Like… can you imagine Harry Potter but from Luna Lovegood’s perspective? That would be the ultimate rewrite.

What type of scenes makes you roll your eyes?

Over dramatic beatings: When a character just has the shit beaten out of them and it’s like… a daily thing despite how they should clearly be in the hospital.

Cutting: Right off the bat we have a teen cutting themselves. No lead up. No flow. No going into how depression sunk in. Nope. No development. Just… an angsty teen cutting for no apparent fucking reason at all. Que the violin.

Romance out of nowhere: Can we have a sip of teenage stupidity? Here we go. No chemistry between them, no lead up. I guess its better to say that bad writing makes me roll my eyes? I need to know these characters before I feel the butterflies of them getting together or not getting together (which is already pretty darn hard for my ace heart anyways).

Suicide thoughts: This is such a serious thing that it bothers me a great deal with it’s done in a melodramatic light. When it appears more as a fad than a serious demonstration of depression.

Scenes where the characters are in a group and they all sound the same.

Writing or movie scenes zeroing in on how much Ron eats. Like fuck man, he’s a growing teenage boy, is this necessary? Now here’s a kid whose bound to develop an eating disorder with all the judgement you guys thrust upon him. Damn.

Gender ‘Equality;’ Any show of a female or a male ‘power’ that has to put down the opposite sex in order to do it. A true demonstration of female or male strength comes from standing on their own merit, not making fun of, humiliating or putting down another person.

Characters who have clearly been changed to be the Author or for their needs rather than Cannon. I don’t really understand why someone would want to change a character instead of just creating their own or self-inserting. If you love these characters then why would you change them? For me, Fanfiction is about exploring the world itself or the characters in ‘what if’ situations. If I want to create an original character then I do. If I want to create a world all my own, then I do.

But to love a character so much only to destroy who they are? No. I really despise that and it always makes me roll my eyes when I see something like Draco suddenly flirting with a muggleborn or Hermione being portrayed as a victim of abuse (have you met Hermione? She would never allow herself to be treated that way!)

Another bit is stories written in first person point of view. If you are just starting out writing, please, avoid first-person point of view like the plague. You need to distance yourself from your characters when you are first writing otherwise it just sounds as if you are self-inserting instead of writing the character. I’ve only seen a handful of first-person fanfictions one of which involved a blind character and it was so brilliantly written that I am stunned by its writing every time I go back.

What was the last scene or story that made you ugly cry?

It was a story from the Merlin Fandom: It was this great little one-shot about Merlin and his grandfather. Merlin, in the show, is well known to lose everything and everyone he loves one by one. By the season finale, you’re ready to throw down to get this boy some love. Well, the fandom is primarily made up of adults, so the writing is of much better quality than a lot of fandoms and this piece in particular really got to me. Merlin lost his parents and went to live with his grandfather, who was very old, and the story follows the two as they get closer and as the grandfather’s health begins to decline. As Merlin becomes a young man he starts to sell the library in the house and all the furniture in order to help pay for the medical bills. When the grandfather finally passes, it’s a few days before his eighteenth birthday, everything in the house (including the house itself) is gone and Merlin is left in a hospital with a small box and nothing else. I balled my eyes out so hard at this beautifully written scene, and it was made even better because it actually ended on a good note. With Arthur (King Arthur of Camelot), noticing the boy and feeling a tug to help. Arthur offers Merlin a place to stay and ends up saving Merlin in a way similar to how Merlin saved Arthur many times in the series. Absolutely breath taking one-shot.

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tinylilemrys · 6 years

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Merlin 3x02 "The Tears of Uther Pendragon: Part 2" Highlights:

Some Kilgharrah and Merlin bonding time

The animation of the dragon has improved dramatically so someone clearly gave the show more money before this season

Arthur being so mad at not being able to find Merlin that he basically announces to Gaius that he's not wearing any underwear

Kilgharrah is remarkably chill now that Merlin is a dragonlord

Oh look, Merlin, Kilgharrah can totally carry people on his back

I'M SURE THAT WILL NEVER BE A USEFUL THING TO REMEMBER LATER WHEN, SAY, THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS PAINFULLY DYING AND YOU HAVE TO GET HIM TO AVALON IN A HURRY

Arthur's room being absolutely trashed because Merlin's not been there to clean up after him

Arthur going on an absolute tirade at Merlin and Merlin's deadpan "You've not had your breakfast this morning, have you?" and then Arthur's "I'LL HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!"

Merlin is done taking Arthur's shit and I am so pleased

Morgana cornering and threatening Merlin, basically going full villain

Sir Leon, man of the people, being concerned not only about the lives but also the livelihoods of the people in the outlying villages

(These are the reasons I ship him and Gwen post-finale – they would be such just and kind rulers)

Merlin trying to reassure Arthur that between the two of them they have the situation under control and Arthur's nonplussed expression at the idea of Merlin’s help

Yeah Gwen talk some sense into Arthur

The tragic secret little hand hold between Gwen and Arthur

Morgana getting her first magic staff

I wish someone believed in me as much as Morgause believes in Morgana

Merlin stockpiling Arthur's favourite foods to prevent him getting hangry

Also Merlin claims that Arthur's favourite food is pickled eggs, but the face Arthur pulls says otherwise, so now I have a headcanon that Merlin makes the pickled eggs himself and is really proud of them and Arthur doesn't have the heart to tell Merlin that he hates it, so he keeps eating them to the point that Merlin thinks it's his favourite

And Arthur would rather die than Merlin know the truth

Leon is so fucking tall omg (I didn’t realise)

*Helm's Deep vibes intensify*

Merlin going full Merlin Classic™ while giving Arthur a motivational speech before the battle

"There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of... I don't know what it is. I don't want to say... It's not wisdom." *Merlin smiles at Arthur with a mixture of confusion and amusement before looking away and Arthur glances at him with a quiet admiration* "But yes, that's what it is." *Merlin smiles, really touched at Arthur's words and Arthur, suddenly concerned that he's given too much of what he feels away, rolls his eyes.* "Don't look so pleased. The rest of the time you're a complete idiot."

(THE SHIP OF DREAMS)

Merlin is so happy after this exchange

I want to bottle it to help him through the next few seasons

"For the love of Camelot" sounds like something I would mutter under my breath in place of "for fucks sake"

Arthur looks majestic af whenever he's in full battle-mode

Heeeeey creepy skeleton soldiers here we go

Morgana has a bone to pick with Camelot (hahahahaha)

Yasss Leon you're doing great, hun

Merlin trying to reason with Morgana and realising that she's now beyond saving

Any episode where Morgana gets to swordfight is a good one

Merlin destroying a priceless magical instrument to save Camelot

Morgana twisting the truth so that she comes off as the hero

Gaius trying to talk some sense of self-preservation into Merlin and probably not succeeding

< 3x01 | 3x03 >

#merlin rewatch #merlin highlights #merlin 3x02 #the tears of uther pendragon: part 2 #bbc merlin #merthur

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madamebaggio · 5 years

Text

Love was in the air last night at the Grammys!

While both Sansa Stark and Arthur Pendragon insist on saying there’s nothing going on between them, we will have to disagree. The two singers looked cozy last night during the Grammys. They took pictures on the red carpet -under the watchful eye of Benjen Stark -and Arthur looked in awe as Sansa Stark sang “Brother in Black”. He also stood up to clap as she received “Album of the Year”, and was late seen talking to her during a post-Grammy party. As much as they are trying to deny it, they just can’t seem to help themselves.

Chapter 7

These few days before the Grammy had been insane for Sansa. The pressure was increasing, everybody was talking about her presentation. In addition to that, she was dealing with the whole Arthur thing. Brienne had not been amused by her sassy answer on the interview, but the internet had.

They were being shipped.

By many people.

Many people.

It was strange. She'd only been shipped with Joffrey, but they'd been a real couple at the time. However, even then, many of her fans didn't actually like the relationship. Maybe they'd known something she didn't.

She wasn't sure what to think about this whole mess and Margaery’s advice had hardly been helpful. She wasn’t about to have some affair with Arthur Pendragon of all men.

As if.

Ridiculous.

“Are you okay, Sansa?”

Sansa smiled at her uncle. “I am.”

“Are you nervous about the presentation?” He asked frowning.

When he frowned, uncle Benjen looked so much like father and Jon. The men in this family were way too serious. Good thing Robb, Rickon and Bran apparently took more after the Tully side.

Sansa did what she always did when her father or uncle frowned: she smoothed it out with her fingers.

Uncle Benjen smiled at her. “I’m fine.” She assured him. “I’m ready to rock.”

Benjen chuckled. “Then let’s do this.”

He left the limo first, the offered a hand to help Sansa out. She took a deep breath before being nearly blinded by all the flashes. People were calling her name, paparazzi asking for a smile or something, fans begging for autographs.

She let go of Benjen’s arm and went to talk to her fans. She took pictures and signed magazines and basked in the positive energy. This was why her job was worth it.

She had a good feeling about this day.

XxX

Arthur hadn’t planned on showing up to the Grammy. He knew Camelot wasn’t going to win this one - The Direwolves had a much better chance - and he thought the event was unbearable and fake.

However… Sansa was going to be there to sing and he wanted to be there to watch it.

His bandmates had offered their solidarity, then decided to stay home. The traitors.

He was taking the mandatory pictures on the red carpet -and feeling absolutely ridiculous wearing a suit-, when he heard someone calling Benjen Stark’s name.

He turned immediately.

Benjen Stark was cool in a way that Arthur would never be, even if he died and reincarnated. The man was wearing a black jacket that had fur on the collar, his hair tied back in a simple ponytail. He was wearing all black, his shirt opened a couple of extra buttons and no tie. Arthur was almost sure his boots were real leather. Probably a crocodile he killed with his bare hands or something similarly badass like that.

However, as cool as Benjen Stark was, Arthur took him in on a second, because who was beside him as a much more beautiful view.

Fuck.

He knew she was beautiful, he did. He wasn’t blind, but tonight…

Double fuck.

Her hair was hanging free over her shoulder, exposing her elegant neck. Her dress was a classic model, light green and as amazingly lady like was she was.

When Arthur came back to his senses, he was already walking in their direction.

“Mr. Stark.” He called as he approached.

Uncle and niece turned in his direction, and Benjen’s glare was a frightening sight. “Arthur Pendragon, right?”

Sansa intervened. “No need to scare him, uncle. He’s apologized.” She hurried to say.

“Repeatedly.” Arthur added, offering his hand.

Benjen gave him a extra firm shake, then gave Sansa a look. “I’ll be over there if you need me.”

He walked away leaving them together.

“He’s so scary.” Arthur murmured in awe.

Sansa snorted. “You asked for it.”

“So… Are we friends now?” Arthur grinned at her ignoring the photographers calling their names.

“Only in your wildest dreams.” Sansa replied with a polite smile, turning for pictures.

Arthur chuckled, but followed her lead. They ignored the questions about their relationship, but when someone asked them to stand closer, Arthur threw a questioning glance at Sansa, and at her nod, put his hand lightly on the small of her back.

“You know…” She told him conversationally. “They’ll have their eyes on you, so look impressed.”

Arthur turned to her, a smirk on his lips. “Then impress me, Red.”

She arched a brow. “More?” Then nodded at him, and left.

Arthur stood there for a second, a silly grin on his lips. “Shit.”

XxX

It was almost time. Sansa’s heart was beating like it never had before. She felt excited but there was a lot of anxiety running through her.

This song was uncle Benjen’s baby. She wanted to do it justice. Not because of everybody else -screw them -but because he deserved it. She wanted to make him proud, since he’s always supported her.

She could do this.

And okay, fine. Maybe she wanted to impress Arthur too.

But just a little bit.

XxX

Arthur had a suspiciously good position to see the stage. The kind of place normally destined to people that were way more influential than he was on the industry.

Apparently there would be a camera focused on his face the whole time.

Just great.

He didn’t care, he’d only come to see Sansa singing.

Sansa’s and Benjen’s names were finally called and the lights were turned off.

“Night gathers, and now my watch begins.” The smoky female voice sang on the silence.

Fuck! She was going to sing “Brothers in Black!

The lights came back gently, illuminating only her. “It shall not end until my death. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory.”

Her voice… It gave him the chills as he watched her there, hair a living flame, wearing black leather pants, eyes closed as the song consumed her.

“I shall fear no foe, even as the cold takes my soul. My watch begins.”

A guitar sounded behind her and the lights came on, as Benjen Stark appeared beside her as the god of rock he was.

Arthur fell in love all over again.

XxX

Sansa had been right: it was an amazing night. She won all the categories to which she was nominated, including Album of the Year.

She could hardly believe it when they'd called her name. Uncle Benjen had to help her stand, because her legs had turned to jello. She'd cried as she made her speech.

She dedicated that victory to all the girls out there who’d ever doubted themselves or had people doubting on them.

It felt like a true victory.

She went to the after party only because Margaery had insisted and many people wanted to talk to her.

However, as she looked around, she wondered if Arthur had come as well. She didn’t think so, since this wasn’t his crowd, and she hadn’t seen him yet.

“Sansa.”

She smiled as Jon gave her a water. His band had won a Grammy as well.

“Thank you.”

“Arthur is here.” He told her. “And I think he’s looking for you.”

Sansa felt herself blushing immediately. “I…”

Jon just gave her a look. “Go talk to him.”

“It’s not like that.” She hurried to say for some reason.

Jon huffed a breath. “ You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” He pointed out. “If you want to talk to him, just go.”

Sansa sighed. “OK.”

She found Arthur by the bar. She already knew he could fill a jeans quite well, but what he was doing to that suit should be illegal.

He was wearing all black-predictable- but his tie was a deep red, and he had a couple of skull rings on his fingers. He looked kind of scrumptious.

Perhaps totally scrumptious.

He saw her coming in his direction, and opened one of his amazing smirks. “Stark.”

She couldn’t hold back a grin. “Pendragon.” She stepped to his side. “Impressed?” She challenged.

Arthur left out an amused snort. “Red, I’m almost falling to my knees and asking you to marry me.” He said dramatically.

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Please, refrain.”

He chuckled, then his face took a more earnest look. “It was beautiful, Sansa. You have an amazing voice.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you…” He started, then seemed to think better of it. “Forget it.”

Sansa arched a brow in his direction. “You were going to ask why I waste my time singing pop songs when I can sing like that, weren’t you?” She asked dryly.

Arthur winced. “Thank you for rubbing in my face how much of an asshole I was about to be.”

“You deserved it, for even thinking about it.”

He sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He told her honestly. “I’m not perfect. I try to understand, I really do…”

“Why do you sing screaming?” She cut him bluntly.

Arthur was completely caught by surprise. “I beg your pardon?” He sputtered.

“Why do you sing like you’re about to blow your lungs out when you can sing like a decent human being?” Sansa asked, her face a perfect mask of polite interest.

Arthur was incensed. “Now, wait a minute…” Then he saw her smirk. “You little minx.” He groaned.

“I love pop.” She said simply. “I like singing songs that people can dance to, rock in their cars and laugh about with their friends. I sing pop because I’ve liked it since I was 8.”

“Fair enough, Lady Stark.” He bowed to her. “You’ve put me in my place.”

“Remember to stick around there.” She told him regally.

He chuckled. “You’re way too cruel to me today.”

“It’s my revenge for all you’ve annoyed me in these last weeks.”

“Does that mean we still can’t be friends?”

“It means you should stop calling Shae everytime you want to talk to me.” She passed him the napkin she’d been holding the whole night. “Good night, Arthur.”

He only opened once she was out of sight.

It was her phone number.

Note: I want to make very clear that I do not like real fur and I don’t think people should wear it. I just mentioned that Benjen was wearing fur as a nod towards his clothes on Game of Thrones. By the way... Is it only me that find uncle Benjen so hot?

Sansa nailed her performance. I imagine this song a bit like “Dream on” by Aerosmith, but not exactly like it, if that makes sense...

I hope you enjoyed the light conversation between them.

Next chapter they’ll finally have some time alone and Arthur is going to show her the music he wrote for her!

Let me know

#madame baggio #fanfiction #modern au #game of thrones #king arthur legend of the sword #Sansa Stark #Arthur Pendragon #Sansa x Arthur #theres no way

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madamebaggio · 5 years

Text

It’s love!

Everybody can breathe easy now! Sansa Stark and Arthur Pendragon are not fighting anymore. However, the two singers can’t seem to stop talking about each other. Close sources claim that Stark is throughly charmed by the bad boy, “like she hadn’t been since Joffrey”. When asked about a possible duet between the two, the pop singer presented her condition: “Only if he learns how to dance.” So far, Pendragon hasn’t answered the comment.

Chapter 6

Arthur and Wet Stick were playing FIFA, while Back Lack and Percival drank beers and offered useless advice, when Nimue entered the room, grabbed the remote and put on some channel.

“Hey!” All the men protested at the same time.

“Your girlfriend is giving an interview right now.” She told Arthur dryly. “Watch it.”

Arthur cleared his throat, as all his friends turned their attention to him. “She isn’t my girlfriend.” He indicated unnecessarily.

“Because she’s a smart woman.” Back Lack snarked.

Arthur threw a cushion at him. “Shut up.”

“Thank you for being here today, Sansa.”

That brought Arthur’s attention immediately to the TV. As she exchanged pleasantries with the hostess, he let his eyes take her in.

She was ridiculously beautiful. That hair of hers… He’d never seen a red like that unless it came from a bottle. The blouse she was wearing was white and it showed off her shoulders and the thigh-high black boots were really working for her. And for him.

“Are you excited for your big presentation at the Grammy’s?” The hostess asked, a perfect smile on her face.

Sansa beamed. “Yes, I am. Uncle Benjen and I have been working really hard to make it special.”

“Can we have a clue of what song you’ll be singing?” The woman asked, sending Sansa a conspiratorial wink.

She chuckled. “No, I’m sorry.” She smiled to take the sting off the denial. “We don’t want to spoil the surprise. Let’s just say that uncle Benjen has been working on his moves.” She teased, making the viewers applaud.

“It must be amazing having such a legend as a family member.” The hostess said rather dramatically.

“Uncle Benjen’s always been extremely supportive of all of us. He is amazing.” Sansa agreed.

“And talking about Grammy…” The woman drawled, a sly look on her face. “Did you know Camelot was nominated for Best Metal Performance?”

Arthur snorted. It was quite obvious she’d been dying to ask that question.

To her credit, Sansa didn’t even bat an eyelash. “Yes, and so are the Direwolves.” She indicated. It was graciously done, indicating that her cousin would be there, and a prod to change the subject.

However, it backfired, making the hostess decide to be direct. “How are things between you and Pendragon?”

“We aren’t fighting if that’s what you’re wondering.” Sansa replied smoothly. “We’ve settled our differences a long time ago.”

“But he’ll be there watching you sing. Does that make you nervous?” The woman pressed.

Sansa arched a brow. “Why should it?”

Oh, that coldly polite tone… Now that it wasn’t directed at him, Arthur thought it was even hotter.

“He’s the one that put the spotlight on you.”

“Agree to disagree.” Sansa said breezily. “But I have nothing to prove to anyone at this point. As I said, Arthur and I settled our differences.”

He was blown away by her class. Fuck, if someone said something like this to him, Bedivere would already be preparing himself to do damage control.

The hostess seemed unfazed. “Is Arthur, hum?”

“She’s like a dog with a bone, man.” Wet Stick grumbled.

“He covered ‘Soap Bubble’. I feel like I should call him Arthur.”

“Can we expect to see you and Arthur singing together? Perhaps any time soon?” The woman pressed.

“We don’t have any plans for a duet.” Sansa answered, unbothered.

“Would you like to have plans with him?” At this point she wasn’t even trying to be subtle anymore. It was clearly a question with double meaning.

Arthur saw himself leaning forward, eager to hear her answer to this question.

Sansa appeared ready to give another polite and vague answer, but then she paused. Arthur was distinctly aware of the silence around him, as his friends also waited for an answer.

The something he’d never expected happened: Sansa Stark, all-American princess, smirked in national television. “Only if he learns how to dance.”

The hostess was clearly caught by surprise with the answer and took a second to recover. She laughed. “I’d love to see that. This is Sansa Stark, everyone.” She called for applauses, as she promised something or another for when they returned from commercials.

Nimue turned off the TV. “I won’t play if you sing a pop song together.” She declared. “But other than that…” She shrugged.

Arthur sighed. “We won’t sing together.”

“How do you know, mate?” Back Lack asked. “She didn’t look that against it.”

She hadn’t, had she? Not for the first time, Arthur wondered what Sansa thought about all this situation. In the beginning, he was reasonably sure she hated him, but that he could get her forgiveness. After a while, he started to think she tolerated him.

Now… Now he was a bit worried about getting his hopes up. And the thing that freaked him out the most was exactly this; he was hoping. Hoping for her attention, hoping she didn’t think he was a jerk.

He wanted to impress Sansa Stark. The Sansa Stark.

It was absurd and still…

“Oh fuck.”

Percival snorted. “Took you long enough, mate.”

“Fuck you.” Arthur grumbled. “This is ridiculous.”

“We know.” Back Lack said as he munched on some Doritos. “You’re still hot for the princess.

“Just remember… Your kids will look great.” Wet Stick offered.

Arthur gave them all the finger and left. They were too busy laughing to notice.

XxX

“So… How are things with Arthur dearest?”

Loras snorted, as Sansa just arched a brow at Marge. “Arthur dearest? I’m pretty sure you called him ‘a minion of Satan’ not long ago.”

“That was before he started begging for your attention.” Margaery drawled. “That man wants you.”

Sansa snorted. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

“Because you’re freaking out and need help.” Loras informed passing her a margarita.

Sansa sighed and eyed the glass. “I probably shouldn’t drink.”

“It’s just a glass, darling.” Marge waved her hand dismissively. “The question is: do you want him too?”

“I…” Sansa groaned. “I don’t know. I won’t lie; I am a bit flattered by the attention, but my last relationship was Joffrey.”

Margaery shuddered. “Ew. Are you worried he might be like him?”

“Joffrey was really charming in the beginning.” Sansa indicated. “He made me feel extremely special; he was attentive and nice. And we all know how that ended.”

Margaery hummed an agreement. “You do have a point. However, I’ve been keeping my ears open, and I haven’t heard one bad thing about our friend Arthur. Quite to the contrary.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Sansa snorted. “He does have something about him.”

“That he does.” Loras agreed. “But I also heard he isn’t the relationship kind of guy.”

“That’s not a problem, if you aren’t looking for that.” Margaery indicated.

“I’m a relationship kind of girl.” Sansa remembered her.

“Maybe you need a hot affair with a hot rockstar before you settle down.” Marge insisted. “Just a little something to blow some steam off.”

Sansa didn’t seem so sure.

“If you want to blow some steam off…” Loras drawled. “He’s definitely the guy.”

“But what if I’m not the girl?” Sansa insisted.

“You won’t know until you’ve tried it.” Margaery pointed out.

And Sansa caught herself considering it.

XxX

Arthur couldn’t play the piano for shit. He was a good guitar player, he could play the bass and even the drums a bit, but no piano.

Sansa played the piano. That was his dilemma of the moment, as he sat there and stared at the piano.

Nimue could play, and -technically- he could ask her to help, but he wasn’t interested in being teased again.

Hence, the dilemma.

The studio door opened and Back Lack came in. He threw Arthur a look, then sighed. He sat beside his friend and gave him one of the beers he had, then said nothing.

“I wrote a song for her.” Arthur admitted after one whole minute of silence.

Back Lack hummed. “Like a love letter?”

Arthur sighed and ran a hand down his face. “No. Not a song about her. A song for her to sing.”

Back Lack chuckled. “Mate, you got it bad.”

Arthur was thoroughly unamused. “Thank you, Back Lack, I’m aware.”

“So what’s the problem exactly?”

“I don’t know how to play the piano.” He indicated the instrument in front of them. “And it has to be on the piano.”

“Why?” His friend asked confused.

“Because she can play it.”

Back Lack sighed like Arthur was trying his patience particularly hard. “And you can't ask our help because…?”

“I'm an idiot?”

“I'm glad you acknowledge it. It's the first step, or so they say.” Back Lack patted Arthur's shoulder. “Now that's solved, when do you plan on doing something about her?”

“I don't even know what I plan on doing.” Arthur admitted.

“You're obviously trying to woo her with your music. Just show it to her.”

Arthur, who was about to tell his friend to fuck off -honestly, woo -paused. “I might.”

“When?”

“The Grammy is this weekend. Let's survive it first.”

Notes: Hey there!

I’m sorry for the total lack of correction, but I have no beta, so let me know if something is too bad.

Next chapter... THE GRAMMY AWARDS!

#madame baggio #CrossOver #Crossover Pairings #modern au #Sansa Stark #Arthur Pendragon #game of thrones #king arthur legend of the sword #Sansa x Arthur #theres no way

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