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rocketmuse · 3 years

Text

I thought I'd share my playlist for the anniversary of the boathouse kiss. :)

Song translations, MANY thoughts, and timeline under the break.

Noise warning for song 19, Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 4:23 to the end. Loud high pitched beeps.

YouTube music version to be made soon.

Translations for foreign songs:

Ewan [Dunno] — Apo Hiking Society — Filipino/Tagalog

Amour plastique [Plastic love] — Videoclub — French

Panalangin [Prayer] — Apo Hiking Society/Moonstar88 — Filipino/Tagalog

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita [I'm Looking For You] — Rivermaya — Filipino/Tagalog

This is a collaborative playlist made with my friend.

Thought Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy would be a good starter song. Something about the music. Represents a good start of Alec persuing Maurice, like, hey, I can be yours... Whatcha doin'?

I added Puppy Princess because of the chorus but I know some people don't like that song so... You can skip if you'd like. KISS MEEEEE KIISS ME WITH YIIR EYESSS CLOSED . ALL I WANT IS YOU YEAH YOU. TELL ME I'M NOT FUNNY TELL ME I'M LEGIIIIT

Ewan. OH MY GOD this song is so them. Alec cares for Maurice, and doesn't like not being taken seriously or being treated badly and brushed off.

"I don't know why you're like that, you're difficult to talk to and you're a snob" COME ON IS THAT NOT THEM — Just a smile from you, and I'll be in heaven. Please give me a response, anything but "No idea"... What a perfect representation of Alec's continuous persuit of Maurice, always talking, always trying...

I could go on with every lyric.

Edit: I just realised this song fits so well for Alec's letters and meeting at the museum. Must resist the urge to add the same exact track twice.

So about Touch Me... Some of the lyrics apply better in other versions. Spotify just has this version tho. Touch me, just like that.

All I've Ever Known. Maurice discovered so much that night about touch and sharing and being with someone. He wants to be with Alec. "All I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too. [Hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Hold you tight, I don't wanna to back to the lonely life.]" Alec opened up his eyes and he'll never be the same.

Can't Help Falling in Love With You. 'Did you ever dream you'd a friend, Alec? ... Someone to last your whole life...' 'Alec, you're a dear fellow and we've been very happy.'

I'd Like To Walk Around In Your Mind was added from Maurice's perspective. Perhaps it fits Alec too...

I think Love At First Sight has the double meaning of the literal title, as well as "wouldn't you like to kiss her" perhaps being... Something Maurice would hear.

I Don't Dance. Based on this post/edit. Please watch this video oh my God.

Pink in the Night. Alec yearns for Maurice in the boathouse. He hasn't come. He hears his heart breaking tonight.

Every lyric is perhaps pulled straight from Alec's brain, to be honest. I remember seeing a post with this song in other contexts with them too. So yes, a few meanings.

Amour plastique. Alec reminiscences on the night in the Russet room. Why hasn't he come?

In my mind, everything goes wild. I lose myself in your eyes. I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze.

And at night I cry tears that stream down my cheeks. I think of you only when the days ends, only when my sad demons descend upon my mind, into the bottomless abyss.

Waiting in the boathouse at night, when the day ends.

I ring out in kisses all down your chest. Lost in the avalanche of my heart astray. Who are you? Where are you?

The moments of then repeat in his mind. Where is Maurice?

I suppose Hopelessly Devoted To You and I'm A Fool To Want You are self explanatory. Maurice should really come... Alec really toughed it out, 2 days he spent in the boathouse, really wanted to see Maurice, really knew they had something, and doesn't want to be treated like a dog. Generally, his 1st letter.

Moon Song. My friend said they added it as a general love song. — Why do you treat me like this? Why didn't you come to the boathouse? — Alec's 2nd letter as a whole. Plus bits of 1st.

And you pushed me in, and now my feet can't touch the bottom of you. ... So I will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door.

Ewan would fit here tbh.

Panalangin. My only prayer in this lifetime: to be beside you, to be together with you, that's my prayer.

"I since cricket match do long to ... place both arms round you and share with you, the above now seems sweeter than words can say."

And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me, my love, please listen.

It also fits the end of museum.

I Want You. Maurice, can you come to the boathouse already? Alec has no power to teleport you there. I hold one card that I can't use.

I found you. I found the door, but when I stepped through, there was no floor. He found Maurice, bit he's not being here for Alec.

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over And I love you, darling And I am done, dear

Alec wishes this would happen. Also, he does come back later and they love again over, and "it is finished".

Credit for suggesting the next two songs goes to @beatle-capaldi!!! He also wrote was in quotations!

English Summer Rain

The Most Radical Thing To Do

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 1st letter, he's looking for Maurice. Thinking about them together.

In my thoughts and dreams, in every turn of destiny, I look for you. Also applies to that hotel/post-hotel feeling. I look for you, even if I try to forget you, saying goodbye, looking back...

Wildest Dreams. They think a lot of each other. They share once more. But they must say goodbye. Alec saw this coming. Maurice hopes that Alec will remember him like this.

I Hear a Symphony. Alec truly opened up Maurice's eyes. Maurice was meant to be with him. He helped Maurice, changed his life. But now Alec is leaving on ship... Or is he? The symphony leads into...

An orchestral sountrack. The Boathouse. Unfortunately the Maurice soundtrack is not on spotify. It's on my personal YouTube music version. I added it because it just captures the boathouse the only way the sountrack itself can.

The Word of Your Body (Reprise). MLM people have moment of romantic tension, which culminates in confessions of love. Just had to add it. "Haven't you heard the word of your body?" perfectly describes Alec gifting and showing Maurice the wonder of truest physical affection and love. He lets Maurice be okay with himself, and again, changes everything. Every lyric is perfect.

Also, sorry JBW, I like other versions more... Too bad Spotify is mean.

I See The Light. Yeah. Every lyric. Maurice is Rapunzel. Movie Blond too. Both the morning at Russet room and the museum. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, now that I see you. "By now they were in love with each other consciously."...

Suddenly Seymour. Suddenly see more, yeah? Clive = ass and someone gives him affection for once, wow! Sidenote, I want to sing this with them and their accents... Suddenly SCUDDER...

Helpless. Musical theatre songs seem to be good retellings of their love story. It's why they belong in post boathouse. Summaries and retellings. They're also good at conveying love they'd feel for each other in general, all times ever. Like loving men, retelling a story.

I'll Cover You. Cute love song feat. gays. I like to imagine them dancing around, declaring their love and devotion for each other. Walking and dancing around like in the original scene, sometime post canon. In my own imagination, I thought of Alec as Angel and Maurice (Christopher) as Collins.

Video Games. They must love spending time together. I thought this to be Maurice POV. Only worth living if somebody is loving you I mean, come on.

It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do. I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you.

Un sospiro. I headcanon that Maurice picks up the piano and plays for Alec. Perhaps he picked it up bc of/after Clive, but now can play it for someone who gives a shit.

Something about the melody reminds me of them. And then it gets more intense... A bit like the passions of love, showing up in sharing and touch and more, too.

Liebestraum. I mean, it means love dream/dream of love. I just had to. Also I just like Liszt.

Take Me Up With You, Dearie. This song is just so sweet... So soft... Edwardian to boot... I love how quintessentially 1909 it is. Discovered it in a YT video. The thought of them getting married makes me cry. This song in general makes me want to cry, it's so romantic, tender, and exudes my favourite era...

Let us float, float, float through the clouds, and just have a lot of fun. We'll go up, up, up as two and then come down as one.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder. We Belong Together. I always imagine Maurice and Alec slowdancing to songs that come on the radio together, when the 1950s hits... Alec probably rests his head on his shoulder as this plays and they dance...

I'm using a lot of ellipses, am I secretly Rupert Graves?

Welcome to the 70s and 80s. They love dancing together and being with each other. Now, Panalangin can be a happy song. My only prayer for this lifetime ... To be together with you. And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me.

Just the Two of Us. What a nice, vibey song. Great title, great scenario of them dancing to this...

Tiny Dancer. Your Song. MLM people in the 70s + Radio, being happy and in love with each other. — I just thought I should add some Elton. A different friend, and I, like him. Maurice sings to Alec, "And you can tell everybody this is your song." That I put down in words how wonderful life is with you in the world.

Electric Love. Fun fact: this song got me to share the playlist. Got me thinking about them and their anniversary again. The funky busy instrumental describes well their passionate love. The highs of electric LOOOOOOVE describe the intensity of them.

Alt text continued: themselves together under and the love. And the love. The song has its own tension and it perfectly pictures their own tension. So yeah, this is THEIR song quite literally.

Sorry if my music taste is perhaps basic. I just made it for when I hear songs that are Them.

Falling for Ya. Alec falls for Maurice. "I saw you when you first drove up, Mr Hall..." Something about Maurice, right? Plus really nice vintage vibes with the music. The bit about Into your arms and it's a secure sure sounds like Maurice. Awh, they're falling for *each other*...

Rainbow Connections. Gay and bi people. Marriage. Everything that Maurice and Alec went through to get here, where they were meant to be. Clive. Working for Clive. Leading up to now.

All the things that had to go right, all the things that had to go wrong, that lead us to the place where we were going all along.

On the YT version there's a soft/jazzy cover of Panalangin here. Because they're old and spending time together and being happy. What a throwback, a defined meaning in their lives over time.

Still Into You. After all these decades... Old and grown, together... True soulmates... Two men can defy the world... Maurice and Alec still roam the greenwood. Imagine Maurice meeting Alec's mom in this context. If only.

Postmodern Jukebox cover, because they are a quintessentially 20th century couple. They exude vintage.

Some piano playing for Alec. Soft, tender, romantic, emotional, true. Feels like nighttime. Feels like Maurice and Alec. And a throwback to the pre 1914 world as well. Claire de Lune feels like... A credits of life piece. Time spent in the early 1980s. Nocturne feels like that too, but more romantic. Smidge less nighttime. Ah yes, Gymnopédies. The truest credits feel of them all. None of these actually are credits for Maurice and Alec, but I struggle to find the word for this feeling. But yeah. These all have Them vibes to me. Piano of the time just does I suppose. Glad to be reminded of them at any time.

What a long playlist. Like going through almost their whole lives together. 1:52 hrs. Almost like a movie. Imagine that. A full movie of THEIR lives... But leaving to the imagination was a good thing. Led to this such action. Thank you E.M. Forster.

Timeline:

1. Pendersleigh

4. & 5. Russet Room. Night, then Morning

9. Cricket

10. Boathouse Nights

18. The Museum

20. The Hotel

21. After

23. The Boathouse

24. They Still Roam the Greenwood

I just like to imagine them dancing to songs on the radio, for decades to come...

#maurice 1987 #maurice 1914 #maurice #maurice hall #alec scudder #Spotify

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sundaymorninglife · 3 years

Text

the broken rules

corpse husband x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, alcohol, insinuation of sex.

part 1 - next

it had been two months since mark’s party.

corpse watched y/n’s figure leave his bed and find a t-shirt sprung on the floor, as she went to the bathroom of his room. in the two months they started sleeping with one another, he had moved to LA from san diego. his little apartment in the city he grew up in could no longer keep up with the requirements of being a full time streamer, and so taking the advice from rae and toast, he decided to move to LA.

he didn’t mind. he got to see y/n more often as well.

by now, he had completely broken rule number one. he thought he could easily push aside his crush, concentrate on the physical part of this strange relationship (he was 23 after all, weren’t all 23 year old men supposed to want this exact kind of arrangement?), but in between the pillow talks, the few moments where they allowed themselves to tangle their legs in between the sheets, and the extremely rare occasions where they fell asleep cuddling one another... it was impossible not to fall in love with her.

y/n sat on the toilet, head in her hands. she had also broken rule number one, and she cursed herself for it. she had been doing well, she had been able to separate the feelings that come with sex fairly well, but it was tonight that it all came tumbling down. he had grabbed her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers in the middle of it, and that’s when all her walls crumbled down. it was something so small and so stupid, but it was enough to make her realize that she was on the verge of falling utterly in love with him.

she flushed the toilet and got up to wash her hands, before going back out to the bedroom.

corpse looked up. the bathroom light highlighted her figure from behind beautifully. “what are you staring at?” she laughed at him, before turning the light off. she sat on the bed and he pushed himself up and kissed her neck.

“you always look so pretty.”

y/n felt herself blushing. she stood up and started looking for her clothes. “are you not staying over?” corpse asked.

y/n swallowed hard, knowing damn well that if she stayed over she would be done for. “uh, no, i can’t actually. rae set me up on a blind date tomorrow at noon.”

corpse froze. shit. “oh, really?”

“yeah...” she said, pulling on her pants, “she said it’s about time for me to start dating someone, apparently she’s setting me up with a friend of a friend. i honestly just think her and lily are trying to live vicariously through me, though.” y/n laughed at the thought of her two friends asking for every detail of the date, like they had done when she told them she slept with a random dude at mark’s party.

corpse stayed silent on the bed. he was definitely breaking rule number three. y/n looked back at him, she could tell he was jealous. she felt sort of proud and guilty at the same time. she let out a laugh, “don’t break rule number three on me now, corpsie.”

corpse’s eyes widened and he threw a pillow at her. “i am not! are you still coming to the dinner at toast’s tomorrow?”

y/n finished getting dressed. she kneeled down on the bed and pulled corpse in for a quick kiss. “yeah, i am. let’s hope we don’t fuck up in front of our friends.” she said, a stupid, perfect smile on her face, and corpse couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “see you tomorrow, corpse.”

and with that, she was gone. he collapsed on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. “fucking dammit.”

***

“y/n, you’re here!” toast swung the door open to his apartment, greeting y/n.

“hi toast!” she replied back, giving him a tight hug.

as they made their way inside, she noticed all of her friends were already there. sitting in a circle in the living room were rae, lily, poki, sykkuno, leslie, peter and, of course, corpse. everyone had a beer in hand, and they seemed to be happily chatting away.

this was the first time the two of them were hanging out with all of their mutual friends. two months had gone by with none of them noticing the hickeys, the texts, and everything in between. “hi guys!” y/n greeted everyone, before settling down in between rae and leslie.

“y/n, how was your date with toby?” rae asked her, excited to see if her friend had hit it off with someone.

“uuuu, you went out on a date, y/n?” toast asked her, handing her a beer.

corpse did his best to hide his discomfort. “yeah,” she replied, taking a swig of the beer, “it was fine. you know, first dates are always a little awkward. but he was super sweet! did you tell him i love the park?”

“uh, of course i did. i gave him all the secrets to a perfect date with you!”

y/n laughed. “yeah, that makes sense. he surprised me with a picnic, he even had a bottle of my favorite wine, rae.”

rae nudged her friend and wiggled her eyebrows. “did you get lucky or what?”

it was getting harder for corpse to hide his discomfort. “rae! jesus, of course not,” y/n replied, nudging her friend back and laughing, “i am not that kind of girl!”

“says the girl who slept with a random dude in mark’s bathroom...” lily said. everyone gasped.

“LILY!”

corpse let out a snort. everyone started asking her a million questions, ranging from who she slept with to how it was to if she’s still seeing him... amongst the chaos, sykkuno softly asked, “wait, corpse, didn’t you also hook up with a girl in the bathroom at that same party?”

everyone quieted down. all that was running through y/n’s head was a handful of cussings that would’ve even made a sailor blush. corpse was staring at the ground. “um, yeah. funny, we must’ve just missed each other, y/n.”

everyone laughed it off. leslie just said, “how can you guys do it in a bathroom?! that sounds horrible...” corpse and y/n just laughed it off, avoiding eye contact as if it were the plague. it had been a close call.

the night went on as the group of friends talked about streams, gaming, movies, and everything in between. eventually, corpse and y/n found themselves alone in the kitchen, and it was only a few seconds before they were kissing heavily against the marbled counter.

“anyone could walk in, corpse,” y/n said, in between kisses.

“i know.”

“c’mon,” she said, but showed no sign of stopping, “seriously we could get caught!”

“exactly.”

they continued making out, before... “oh my god, what the fuck.”

lily was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, staring at her two friends. corpse and y/n immediately broke apart. “lily...” y/n started, staring at her friend who was just looking back dumbfounded, empty beer bottle in hand.

“i fucking knew it. the second sykkuno mentioned that corpse also fucked someone in the bathroom-“

“LILY! shhhh, please, please, you can’t tell anyone, OK?” y/n went over to her friend and grabbed her by the shoulders. “i’ll do anything, but PLEASE don’t tell anyone.”

lily looked at y/n and then at corpse, then back at her friend. “this is going to eat me up inside. you guys owe me a big one. also, are you guys mental? seriously? in a KITCHEN?”

y/n and corpse just laughed. “we were just kissing, chill.” corpse said, grabbing a bottle of beer before leaving.

“you have so much explaining to do,” lily went over to the fridge and grabbed another bottle, “are you guys dating?”

y/n went to do the same. “god, no. that would be way too complicated. besides, i don’t even think he likes me that way. we’re just... relieving stress, is all.”

lily looked at her friend. “y/n, i’m going to tell you this honestly because i love you. this is going to end up badly if you two keep sneaking around. i can tell you like him, so i think it’s better if you let him know as soon as possible.”

“nope, no fucking way.”

“y/n look at me.” lily stared into her eyes. “i’m being serious, friends with benefits never works. i won’t tell anyone, don’t worry, but be careful, ok?”

and so lily left, leaving a confused y/n behind. she pulled out her phone and texted toby.

can’t wait to see you again :)

she held her phone against her chest. maybe starting something with toby would help her get over corpse.

she made her way back to her friends in the living room. corpse stared at her for a second before looking away; he thought about lily. she knew about them now, and he couldn’t quite decide if that was good or bad. if the rest of them found out, they would one thousand percent make him and y/n try to date. he didn’t mind that, but did y/n? he honestly couldn’t figure her out sometimes. they enjoyed each other’s presence, that much he could tell, but there were days where she acted more sweetly, more gushing, until it seemed she caught herself and stopped. she would stay over for a few nights and then suddenly the next few times she would leave abruptly. he couldn’t understand if she felt the same, if she was just using him as a distraction, if she liked him but stopped herself because she was embarrassed.

“what if we play a drinking game?” corpse was brought back to reality when rae suggested the idea.

oh, y/n thought, this is about to get messy.

taglist: @divine-artemis @evi-ka @bi-andready-tocry @ramshasar @lilysdaydreams @a-lonely-bic @annshit @alanasthoughts

#corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #corpse imagines #corpse #corpse fanfic #corpse husband x you

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Nice to meet you, where you been?

Chapter 2 of In Breakable Heaven!

Summary: Reader becomes acquainted with some members of the BAU.

Warnings: none that I can think of!

Word Count: ~1900

Penny came back out to the foyer, handing you the oversized t-shirt and shorts you left here last time you slept over. You pulled them on quickly, following Penny to the living room where you instantly realized, it was more than just you, Penny, and the tall man in the apartment. You stopped moving as you took in the additional new faces. You had never met Penny’s team before, but she had talked about them a ton. You blushed again thinking of how you must look a mess right now.

“Everyone, this is Y/N! She is my very best friend and she is very sad so we are going to cheer her up.” Penny started the introductions. “Y/N, this is Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau aka JJ, and Emily Prentiss.” You took in the names as Penny went around the room. Eyes bouncing between a very muscular bald man and two of the most attractive women you’ve ever seen. “Oh, and for a more formal introduction, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, although you two met at the door.” Your eyes attempted to meet his again, but he was staring at the ground. You couldn’t help the whisper that escaped your lips “Doctor.”

Either the profilers didn’t hear it, or chose to ignore it, along with the blush forming on your cheeks yet again. You looked around the room again and couldn’t stop yourself from speaking your thoughts. “God, is it a requirement to be hot as hell to work for the FBI?” Everyone laughed as you threw your hand over your mouth, eyes widening. “Oh God. That’s embarrassing. It’s true though, what a good looking team.” That earned more laughter form the group.

It was clear they were all wondering why you had just sobbed into their coworkers adorable sweater vest. You waited a beat hoping someone would say something. But since they were all staring at you, and you hate awkward silences, you couldn’t help but blurt out “today was my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend,” Not noticing the slight frown appear on Spencer’s face, you continued “but I went over to his place and found him in bed with another woman. So now I am very drunk.” Their faces all softened, offering slight words of encouragement as you sunk into the sofa and picked up the bottle of white wine from the table. Not even bothering with a glass, you started drinking again. You drank nearly half the bottle before taking a breath.

“Woah” you heard someone say, but honestly you didn’t know who. “Why don’t we play a game or something? Maybe switch to water so you don’t completely hate yourself tomorrow?” You realized it was JJ talking. “I am always down – hiccup – for a game. I must warn you, I am extremely competitive though. Plus, I don’t get hungover so I’ll be fine.” You looked at their disbelieving faces. “Fine” you muttered, annoyed at having to explain this again, “I’ll switch to water for a bit. But only because I want to win.”

Penny went to get the cards, confirming your statement “Y/N is right ya know. She has never been hungover. I’ve seen her drink countless tequila shots, chase them each with a wine cooler and clean her entire apartment before 8 AM the next day.”

“Impressive.” Derek smirked as he looked at you.

“What can I say? It really boosts my productivity.” The room chuckled as the hot doctor chimed in.

“Your liver is responsible for breaking down all the alcohol you consume into an enzyme called acetaldehyde, the toxin responsible for hangovers. Recent studies have shown about 23% of people are able to break down the acetaldehyde much faster resulting in little to no hangover symptoms. Whether or not you experience hangovers is based 45% on genetics.” You looked over to him, wildly impressed with the first words you’ve heard him say.

“What’s the other 55% based on?” You asked, intrigued to finally know why you don’t actually experience hangovers. He looked surprised as he met your eyes for the first time since you entered the room.

“It’s actually a mixture of volume of alcohol, water, and food consumption.” You chuckled as he said this.

“Well, it must be genetics for me because there are a few times I remember making very bad choices…” You felt the thought slip away as Dr. Spencer Reid smiled at you.

“How can she even do simple math right now? Based on the story she’s had 10 drinks in the last 3 hours?” Emily whispered to JJ and Derek. They exchanged glances as Penny finally sat back down with the cards.

“What should we play?” She asked the room, but mostly you. You could already feel your competitive edge creeping in as you tore your eyes from Spencer’s to suggest one of your favorite group games. “Egyptian Rat Screw!” It should be especially fun since you were all drinking. Nobody seemed to know the game though, so you quickly explained the rules as you took the cards to shuffle and deal.

“Remember, whoever gets all the cards wins. Slap sandwiches and doubles. Royals have the special rules we just talked about. If you slap and there’s nothing there, you have to put a card in the bottom of the pile.” You said as everyone got situated around the table unsure what to expect. “Ready?” you asked, a mischievous grin on your face.

After winning the first two games you couldn’t help but tease everyone “I am definitely the drunkest one here. I thought a group of FBI agents would have better reaction times!” You giggled as everyone laughed along with you. You dealt the cards into five piles, one for each agent. “No cards for you?” Derek asked. “Nope.” You popped the “p” as you took in their confused faces. “I’m going to start with no cards and see if I still win.” There was a clear competitive glint in your eyes, with a matching smirk. They seemed disbelieving that you would pull out another win, but continued along with the game.

You hadn’t even tried slapping the table until there was only Spencer and Derek left with cards. Emily, JJ, and Penelope were chatting aimlessly, having lost interest a few minutes ago. You sat up and stared at the ever growing pile of cards. The whole game was basically memorizing the order of cards, or at least the general timeline. You knew as soon as Derek played his jack, Spencer would follow with an identical card. As you spotted the first jack hit the pile, Derek taunted Spencer “Haha pretty boy, one chance to get a royal or I’m pulling in the big pile.” The two of them seemed to have forgotten that you could get back in the game. Spencer smiled as he flipped over what you knew to be a jack. It was clear from the smirk on his face he knew it was a jack as well. What he didn’t count on was your cat-like reflexes slapping the pile before he could finish laughing at Derek’s sad face.

The two of them looked shocked as you picked up the cards, readying them for the next set of flipping. “Damn girl, I thought you forgot how to play.” Derek laughed at the smug grin you were wearing. He only had two cards left. Easily knocking Derek from the game, he joined the side conversation being had in the kitchen as he resigned to another round lost. You turned to Spencer, almost whispering “Looks like it’s just you and me, Doctor.” Spencer looked up from his cards stating, “you sound pretty confident considering your opponent has an eidetic memory and knows the exact order of both our hands.” You stuck your tongue out as you placed your first card. “Not fair.”

Minutes passed as the game drew on, neither player really making an advance. You yawned as you flipped another card onto the table, losing focus for just a second. Reid recognized the pattern emerging, getting ready to slap after your next card. You forgot to look at the potential for a sandwich, playing your next card. You noticed it a second to late as you slapped your hand down. Spencer beat you too it though, and when your hand landed it was on top of his. You didn’t move at first, shocked to have lost so many cards at once. Spencer was gloating as you picked up his hand and put it on top of yours.

He finally looked down to see you pulling the cards toward you before jumping up to get them back. You held the cards close to your heart, faking the offense you felt at his suggestion that you would cheat, despite your very obvious cheating. When he reached for the cards, you backed up into the couch, holding them above your head. He knelt over you, leaning forward to reach your outstretched hand, forgetting for just a second that he really didn’t know you at all and being this close should make him uncomfortable.

You shrieked as he tickled your sides to pull the cards in. He was gloating yet again as he pulled them from your grasp, not realizing how close the two of you had become. The two of you froze yet again as you felt that same magnetic force as earlier pulling you closer as you looked into his eyes. He cleared his through as he sat up, returning to his seat to finish the game.

The two of you continued the game until you only had a few cards left. “It appears as though your winning streak is quickly coming to an end.” Spencer joked with you, playing a queen. He was clearly trying to ease whatever tension was lingering from your couch experience. You glanced at the cards in the middle of the table. It must have been 45 cards in the pile. You switched tactics to playing the cards as quick as possible to prevent another mistake.

A queen meant playing two cards in a row. You knew you had two sevens in a row in your hand, so you were ready to take him down. You glanced up stating “Rule 1: The Doctor lies.” You stated matter-of-factly as you flipped over your first seven. “Oh, and don’t blink.” You said, playing the second and slapping it before he finished comprehending your two Doctor Who references. You just had an instinctual feeling that Doctor Who would distract him.

You finished the game with relative ease as the others made their way back into the room. You celebrated as you took the rest of his cards, completing the game and adding another tally to the mental scoreboard you had in your head. As everyone sat back down, you put the cards away. It was now 12:30 in the morning and suddenly you were exhausted. You rose from your seat, putting your coat back on your shoulders. “I should go home” you said, earning stares from everyone.

“You are completely welcome to stay the night here!” Penelope said as you continued preparing to leave.

“Thank you, Penelope, but I already feel so much better.” You chanced a glance at Spencer to see him staring right back. “I want to go home and lay in my bed and throw all his stuff out the window. Plus I could really use some fresh air right now.” Everyone started to verbally object now. Sometimes you forgot what Penelope does for a living and how much she’s seen. “No really, I’ll be fine.” You continued, “I live in The City Block, it’s only half a mile from here!” This did nothing to satisfy the worried looks on the five faces staring back at you.

“That’s on the way to my building.” Spencer stated. “I’ll walk with you, okay?” You looked up, surprised. Slowly a small smile appeared on your face. “Okay.” Somehow that was all you could manage. Everyone said their goodbyes as you and Spencer made your way out of the apartment and started walking down the street.

tag list:

@mac99martin @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15

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callsign-mischief · 3 years

Text

The Gift of a Weasley Sweater is a Powerful Thing [F.W.]

Day 23 prompt of ‘A Very Harry Potter Christmas’ : ‘Weasley Sweater’

Thank you so much to @jamilelucato and @whack-ed for letting me participate in this writing challenge! I am so sorry it is extremely late, please forgive me. Hope you like it!

Fred Weasley x Female!Slytherin!Reader

Warnings: Mention of fighting, Umbridge, Umbridge’s using that quill, George being mean, a few cuss words, mention of “bloodtraitor” *if I missed anything that should be put into the warning, please let me know!*

Word Count: 6.5k (so sorry!)

As the Christmas holiday was quickly approaching and many students were preparing to leave the comfort of Hogwarts to spend time with their respected families, it was becoming increasingly normal to see different love-sick couples scattered about the castle basking in each other's presence to soak up every last ounce of time they could before being separated by the long vacation. What wasn’t normal, however, was seeing Fred Weasley spending any, and almost every, spare second he had with a girl doing the exact same thing. And to make it even more unusual, a Slytherin girl!

It was a few days before Christmas break and George Weasley has had enough of seeing his brother act like a lovesick fool.

“I do not know what is going on in that head of his but I’m right ‘bout to take my beaters bat and knock some sense into him. Thank Merlin she’s not wedged her way into coming home with us!” he huffs sending silent daggered glares toward his twin brother sitting a few feet down the way at the Gryffindor breakfast table with his serpent of a girlfriend nestled into his side. He couldn’t stand the sight. How did Fred Weasley, a proud Gryffindor of all people, become entranced with none other than a snake? It just didn't make sense!

From across the table, Lee Jordan casts a glance up towards the inter house couple before returning to face the boiling redhead sitting across from him. “Honestly George, I don’t know why you hate her so much, you've never even actually met her! She is actually quite nice y’know? She helped me escape Snape once, it was brilliant!”

“She’s a Slytherin, Lee! The whole lot of them can't be trusted…” he grumbles, taking a quick bite of his slice of toast before sipping his pumpkin juice and clearing his throat. “I don’t know what game she's playing but I’m gonna find out what it is. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Lee could understand where the boy in front of him was coming from. Fred had never taken a liking to any Slytherin house member before, no matter who they were, up until the week before the end of the previous school year when you had transferred to Hogwarts from Beauxbatons. “Just give her a chance George. You never know, she could be genuine in her love or whatever she feels for him and not be as bad as you think!”

On top of what George, and almost everyone else at Hogwarts, was already putting up with this school year (aka Professor Umbridge terrorizing the school and you know whos return creating chaos amongst the wizarding world) George didn’t want to add having to be civil with a snake to his list of things to deal with.

“Yeah...guess not but still! She has not approached any of us, his siblings, to get to know us and they have been cozied up since she got here last semester! In my book, that's already a bad sign.” he frowns looking at the couple again.

Meanwhile down the table, the two lovesick teenagers are conversing amongst themselves, oblivious to the pointed looks from her boyfriend's twin.

“So I have Ron, George, and Ginny’s gifts all wrapped up and ready to be handed out...and I was thinking, maybe I could come up to the common room later after lessons and give them out? What better time than to finally let me meet them and get to know them than Christmas!” she asks, voice dripping with excitement and hope.

A grin graced his lips as he admired her excitement. “That sounds like an excellent idea, love, but with Umbridge, I don’t think it’s safe to be going into others common rooms.”

“I really would love to officially meet them, Freddie. We’ve been dating for three months and you haven’t introduced me to any of them. They’re your siblings, part of what makes you,you! Especially George. I mean come on- he’s your twin! Your other half! And when has Umbridge terrorizing the school ever stopped you from breaking the rules? I can come up and watch them open presents, maybe stay the night so I don’t get caught sneaking back to the dungeons….we can spend some time in the common room after everyone’s gone to bed?” you giggle playfully.

“You had me at ‘stay the night’!”

Another giggle slips past your lips as you peck his lips before rising from the bench. “I thought you would like that idea. I am off to see Professor Snape before my potions lesson starts, I will see you later in Transfig, yeah?”

Fred nods quickly, leaning up to peck your lips once more before you turn and strut out of the Great Hall. He watches you go with that same dopey smile on his face and his eyes swirling with pure adoration. He was in love.

After a hefty handful of morning classes, a quick lunch with friends, Transfiguration with Fred (whom of which you got to spend no time with due McGonagall partnering you with other people) and one intense charms lesson, it was finally time for your favorite part of the day; your free period. You weren’t sure how you got so lucky to have a free period at the end of the day but you definitely weren’t going to complain.

Normally you would spend the free period in the Slytherin common room, on the Quidditch pitch practicing, or in the Room of Requirement (which had quickly become yours and Fred’s spot when he decided to skip afternoon lessons), but today you decided to change things up and direct yourself to the library. You had spent your fair share of time amongst many stacks of the old, dusty books for studying purposes and to grab different for-fun reading material but hardly ever did you come in here to spend your free time.

Upon entering, you quickly set your course for the small ‘Muggle Fiction’ section that had been added in recent years, in search of a new adventure to lose yourself in. Your study partner, Hermione was the one to actually introduce you to the section and recommend a few novels to try reading and you turned out loving them all. Despite being a pureblood and having the nasty ‘I hate everything Muggle’ stereotype follow you around everywhere like a shadow, your heart couldn’t help but get excited about Muggle literature, your favorite genre so far being Romance.

Once you have made your pick of entertainment, you gravitate your way to a back corner nook of the library to get comfy-that is until you see the back of a familiar mop of fiery red hair fluttering between shelves before plopping down at a table with his books.

Having not been able to contain the excitement of seeing your man (even though he should be in potions), you quickly divert your course to him, staying quiet with a beaming grin on your face. Once close enough behind him, you reach out, playfully covering his eyes with your hands blocking his vision from the herbology book he had been scanning through.

"Guess who, Freddie." You giggle.

"What the bloody hell? Get off of me!"

Your eyes went wide in horror upon hearing the voice of the man who was definitely not your boyfriend!

"Oh, Salazar, I'm so sorry! I thought you were Fred from the back!"

George stood up from his seat, turning to you with a piercing glare, "You should really make sure you know who you are approaching before you touch them!"

He hadn't completely yelled at you but the angry tone and rise in his voice made you want to nearly cry.

You cast your eyes to the side, the amount of complete embarrassment you felt had your face feeling as though it was on fire. "I..I know, and again I'm really sorry about that. I- I'm uhm...I'm (Y/N), by the way...Fred's girlfriend." You look back to him, introducing yourself properly for the first time.

"It's a pleasure to meet you George."

"I can't say the same for you, snake."

You recoil at the name, "What did you just-"

"You heard me, a snake. That's what you are, clearly. Whatever love spell you have my twin under, you need to end it, and end it now."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "What are you talking about? There is no spell. I wouldn't do that to Fred, or anyone for that matter! How can you stand there and accuse me of something like that when you don't even know me?"

“Don’t think I know you, do you? You're a stuck up, entitled, conniving witch whose family only cares about things as ridiculous as blood purity and money. Everyone knows what kind of people you are. You and Fred have been dating for months and you haven't approached any of his siblings to get to know them. And what’s more is that over the summer you didn't even want to come to the Burrow to spend time with his family; it was always him leaving to meet you. What does that say about what kind of person you are?"

"You don't know a thing. That was not because of me! That was always Fred's choice, I wanted to-"

"No, don't try to seem all innocent now. You don’t want anything to do with us and we certainly don't like you. Now, if you'd excuse me, I best be leaving."

Before you could get another word out, George turned and collected the books he had grabbed, walking away to the front of the library and out its doors.

After your encounter with George in the library this afternoon, your day had only gotten worse.

You had attempted to break up a fight between two of your younger Slytherin female students but you had ended up getting elbowed in the face, leaving you with a small black eye. Yet before you had the chance to visit the Hospital wing, you were summoned to Umbridge's office.

What had been intended as a “friendly chat” -the pink toads words, not yours-, upon seeing your forming black eye when you stepped into her office, you were dished up a detention for “unacceptable display of muggle dueling from a prefect”. You tried to explain the situation and what had happened but it only seemed to aggravate the woman more. She implemented your detention immediately- the punishment being having to write lines. Instead of writing lines for the said cause of your detention, you were made to write lines for "associating with a blood traitor below your class grade". The way she talked about Fred made your blood boil with rage but you didn’t want to make your situation any worse than it was so you kept the angry words and insults for the woman to yourself.

And finally to top off your terrible day, you had received a letter from your parents stating that they would be spending the Christmas holiday in a tropical paradise while you were to stay at Hogwarts, alone. The day was turning out to be too much to handle and all you wanted was Fred. But with him nowhere to be found, you took to locking yourself in an abandoned classroom in the dungeons, crying out your frustrations. With your eye swelling, your hand stinging like crazy, and your chest aching knowing that Fred's family already hated you without meeting you, you felt completely miserable.

After what had seemed like hours, you finally managed to get your hysterical sobs under control to only getting small hiccups ever so often. Your eyes stung from the hours of repetitive rubbing away of tears and you could only imagine what you looked like. Breaking from your ball-like position in the corner of the room, you rise from the chilled ground, stretching your aching limbs as you take a glance at the small watch on your wrist. You see that dinner had started almost half an hour ago. With a sigh, you emerge from the dungeon’s classroom making your way up to the Great Hall.

When you enter through the hall's double doors, you immediately scan the Gryffindor’s table for the man you have come to love. You spot him quickly as he's waving his arms around wildly with a wide grin on his lips, seeming to be telling a crazy story to the surrounding group of his friends made up of George, Ron, Harry Potter, your study partner Hermione, and Lee Jordan. You can't help the way your eyes fill with nothing but pure love seeing him in his element; entertaining people and making them laugh and smile. Your eyes cut to his twin sitting beside him and your face falls.

In that moment, his harsh words from earlier this afternoon ran through your head on repeat like a broken record you couldn't stop. You never wished for anything more than to meet Fred's family and have them approve of you and your relationship but with the way things were going, that would never be anything but a wish.

You b-line for the Slytherin house table, taking a seat next to your best friend. As you start to shovel food onto your empty plate, his eyes fill with concern.

"Blimey, (Y/L/N)! What in Salazar’s name happened to you."

You pause and give him a quick pierced glance before resuming to fill up the plate of food. "Do not start with me Zabini. I've had a rough day."

"I can tell by that black eye of yours. Did Weasley do something he shouldn't have to make you cry? Because you know I will-"

You crack a sad grin at his over protectiveness but let out a sigh, "N-no, he didn't do anything...he's great. It's just...I don't know.." you trailed off. You didn't want to out George and have him face Blaise's wrath, but how could you keep the day's events away from your best friend?

Blaise noticed your hesitation and rested a comforting hand on your shoulder, "hey, if you don't want to talk about it right now, you don't have to but I'll be here for when you're ready and have the right words."

You give him the best side hug you can manage as your eyes begin to prickle with a few tears. "I know and thank you Blaise. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He returns the hug with a smile, "probably be miserable, I suppose. But I meant what I said. Just because I support you and Weasley's little love fest doesn't mean I won't hex him into next year if he hurts you."

You shove his shoulder playfully before returning back to plate to enjoy your meal.

As always, dinner was delicious and you stuffed your stomach full with too much dessert. You rise from the bench along with your fellow Slytherin's and begin to trickle out of the great hall. As you are walking between Theo and Blaise, a hand reaches out and grabs your arm from behind, spinning you around. You're met with a pair of familiar soft and warm lips being placed on your own. Before you can respond to the kiss, your boyfriend pulls away with a smirk leaving you with a small pout.

“Don’t go pouting, love. You will get more kisses soon, are you ready to go? Hell- what happened to your eye?!” he cups his hands around your face, inspecting your eye closely.

“It's nothing, don't worry. Where are we going?”

“You don’t remember? You were going to stay the night after you handed out gifts to Ginny, Ron, and George. Which by the way, I've got to tell you, I’m a little peeved off I’m not getting my gift yet and I’m your loving, devoted boyfriend who adores you and who worries about you.”

You rub your neck nervously, looking away from him. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a long day and I forgot..”

His eyes scan your face, his frown only growing deeper “I thought you were excited, love. I didn’t think you would forget something like this. What’s wrong?”

You couldn’t help it. Hearing Fred ask ‘what’s wrong’ after the day you’ve had, unleashed a new wave of fresh tears.

“Woah, woah, love what happened? Why are you crying, did I say something wrong?” he quickly encases you in his warm embrace, pressing your head gently to his chest to muffle your sobs. Your body shakes horribly as you try to keep yourself from crumbling right then and there in the hall in the presence of other students.

He looks ahead to see Theo and Blaise have stopped in their places, noticing your absence and are now looking at him holding your distraught figure. He sends a pleading look to Blaise, desperate for him to give a clue as to what was wrong but Blaise only shook his head and frowned in response. He knew Zabini was your best friend and that you told each other everything so when even he didn’t know what was wrong, Fred began to worry even more.

As Fred held you to his chest, he gently brushed back your hair with his fingers a couple of times hoping it would calm you. Bending down slightly so as to not scare you, he whispers into your ear, “C’mon, love. Let’s go up to my room and we can cuddle until you’re ready to talk. How does that sound?”

You nod your head slowly, breathing deeply as you can as you step away from him. His heart shattered seeing your eyes so puffy and bloodshot. Gently wrapping an arm around your waist, he guides you up the moving staircases to the portrait sealing the Gryffindor common room. Fred mutters the password and once there is enough space for you both to walk through, he softly pulls you along, hoping that the room will be empty or at least empty enough so you will be comfortable walking through. To his relief, the only people who have opted to stay out in the common room were George, Lee, Ginny, and the Golden Trio. George is the first to notice his twin's sudden presence.

“There you are Freddie, been wondering where you went off to. Hopefully not to see that-”

“Shut up, George. Do you and Lee mind staying down here for a while? We would like to be alone for a bit.”

Ron pipes up from his spot on the carpet by the roaring fireplace. “We?!”

Just then, George and Ginny’s head snap to Fred, only now noticing you curled into his side, face pressed into his shoulder.

“WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?! She-”

“Not now George! You’re my twin and best friend and I love you but please don’t start right now, mate. Just give us some time, please.” Fred begged.

George backed away with a scowl before nodding. Fred glances at Lee who gives him an encouraging nod with a soft smile. With a sigh of gratitude, he thanks his roommates, guiding you to the stairs. With a flick of his wand, he says the counter charm to keep the stairs from changing and walks you up.

Once you're in the safe space of his room, he sits you on his bed as he couches down by the end of it rummaging through his trunk. Once he finds what he's looking for, he stands facing you handing you a small stack of clothes.

"Here, sweetheart. These will be more comfortable for you than your uniform. And look, I even picked out your favorite sweater of mine."

You let out a weak smile, leaning up to plant a loving kiss on his lips. He returns the kiss, cradling your face carefully between his hands. Fred is the one to break the kiss, placing his forehead softly against yours.

"Let's get changed, love."

With a final nod, you pull away and stand, moving to the opposite of the room to change giving Fred his own space. Once you're both changed, you walk back to his bed with your uniform gently folded in your hands. Fred takes the stack from you before gesturing you to get in bed. You happily oblige and wait for him to get I'm with you. Once he settles in, you get comfortable in your favorite cuddling position. You being the little spoon with Fred cradling your body to his front.

No words are spoken for the first half hour. Fred doesn't rush you to talk, only softly brushing his hands up and down your arms in slow comforting strokes. Once you feel comfortable and ready to talk, you turn over to face the loving man behind you. You wrap an arm around his waist pulling your body flush against his, burrowing your head into his chest.

Fred let out a gentle chuckle, squeezing our waist a little tighter. “Are you ready to talk now, love?”

“I ha...frrible ay…”

Fred let out a deafening howl of laughter. “I have no clue what you just said, do you mind repeating that more clearly for me, sweetheart?”

You pulled away from his chest, “I said that I had a terrible day.”

His joyful expression was quickly replaced by one of alarm. “Why what happened?”

‘Here goes nothing…’ You thought.

With a deep breath you begin. “It wasn’t so bad at first. Double potions went okay, lunch with Blaise and Theo was good. Transfig sorta fell short because McGonagall split us up but that was okay too, nothing to ruin the day. It all started in my free period.” you stopped, beginning to feel nervous and nauseous . “W..we always say that honesty is the best policy...right?”

He confirms your question with a small dip of his head. “Of course”

You continue on, “I went to the library today to find a new Muggle romance book to read and well...before I could pick one that I liked, I thought I saw you weaving in and out between the bookshelves. I got excited seeing who I thought was you and so I ran up behind him and put my hands over his eyes like how I do with you and well…”

Fred knew where this was going and he instantly began to feel awful.

“It was George, as you could have guessed and needless to say he did not appreciate that. Of course I apologized, but he was still so angry and not just about me touching him. He seemed to be mad at me, as a whole person. He accused me of having you under a love spell and said that he knew what kind of person I was because of my family. Told me I was entitled and stuck up because I haven’t approached him or Ron or Ginny to get to know them nor did I visit the Burrow to spend time with your family this summer. I tried to tell him that me not coming to your home or meeting your family wasn’t my choice but he didn’t want to hear it.” you sobbed, letting the building tears in your eyes fall freely.

If Fred didn’t feel terrible before, he sure as hell did now! He knew that it was long overdue for you to meet his family but just when he got the nerve to introduce you, he couldn’t. While Fred was a very confident man in many aspects, your lifestyles were complete polar opposites and it oftentimes left him feeling inadequate. While you live a life of luxury, Fred and his family oftentimes struggle to make ends meet. While Fred’s family is thought of as a full lot of blood-traitors, your family name is highly admired and respected amongst the Wizarding community. Now, the Weasley boy knew such trivial things didn’t matter to his girl, but the worry he had of you leaving him once you dived in deeper to what made Fred, Fred was just too much to take the risk.

Fred couldn’t even begin to be mad at George for what he said to you because he was too busy being angry at himself. He was the reason this happened. He was the one who kept you from meeting his family. He was the one who would reject your wishes to spend time at the place he’s called home all of his life and with the people he loved more than anything. He made you look like you didn’t want anything to do with his family when in reality, you wanted nothing more than for his family to adore you almost as much as Fred did.

“Baby I am so so sorry about all of this. George had no right to say that to you but he wouldn’t have if I had just gotten over my own insecurities. I promise I will make things right, love.” his solemn expression broke your heart and made you cry even harder.

Wiping your eyes hurriedly, you shake your head. “That’s not even the worst of it! I got this stupid black eye from trying to break up a petty fight between two younger girls from my house, and then when I wanted to go see Madam Pomfrey, I was summoned to Umbridge’s office. One look at my eye and she gave me a detention of writing lines with that horrid quill of hers and my hand hurts so bad! And then on top of everything, my mum sent me a letter this morning saying that she and dad will be going somewhere for Christmas while I stay at Hogwarts instead! It was just one thing after another and when I couldn’t even find you, I broke down. Ended up locking myself in a classroom to cry, it was awful. That’s why I was late to dinner.”

“That bloody woman used that damned quill of hers on you?! I swear, I will make that vile woman regret ever using that on you! Let me go see if Hermione has anything to help with the scarring.”

Before he could get out of bed, you wrapped your arms around him tighter, “No! Don't bother her about it, I just want to be with you right now. Don’t leave, just stay.”

It was hard for Fred to contain the anger he had raging through his body but he gave in to your request. He settled back into his position, pulling you in tighter by your waist. “I am so sorry all this happened to you today, sweetheart. I promise, the first thing tomorrow, I will make things right. I will owl mum and tell her you will be coming home with me for Christmas and then I will face my siblings and explain everything to them. Then once I’m done there, I will make that pink toad wish she never set foot into this school.”

By now the tears had stopped falling, leaving you to the occasional sniffle. “Can we just go to bed now? I’m tired.”

Fred snuggles down deeper into bed pulling his heavy crimson duvet up around you both, tucking you in. “Let’s sleep. Tomorrow will be better”

You wish Fred had been right. No sooner than you were both peacefully asleep, you had been rapidly alerted awake by Professor McGonagall busting into the dorm room. You and Fred had both sprung up to see her shaking George awake. When she made her way over to Fred’s bedside, she paused in shock seeing you there.

“Miss (Y/L/N), what in Godric’s name are you doing in Gryffindor tower? And in the boys dormitories no less!”

“I-I.. well.. You see, what had happened was-”

“Never mind that, we don’t have time. I need you and mister Weasley to come with me immediately.”

Once you were all out of bed and met with a disheveled Ginny, the four of you were guided back to the Headmaster’s office and upon entering, you all see Harry looking distraught.

Ginny was the first to speak out, “What’s going on Harry? Professor McGonagall said you saw dad hurt-”

Dumbledore answered the girl before Harry had the chance. “Your father has been injured doing some work for the Order of the Phoenix. I am sending you all to Sirius’s house by portkey instead of the Burrow, where you will meet your mother. But we must hurry before Umbridge is made aware you all are out of bed. Hurry now, all of you.”

Immediately you all gathered around the kettle you would be using to transport you and waited for the countdown from Dumbledore. On the count of three, you all placed your hands on the portkey and instantly you felt the pull behind your navel and a rush of wind before you were met with the ground of a...kitchen?

Before you could comprehend anything, into the kitchen came Sirius Black. You weren’t entirely sure what to make of seeing the man in the flesh but looking at him as he spoke to Harry and the Weasley children, there was no way he was this “mass murderer” you had read to believe. After a small riff between the twins and Sirius about staying put instead of rushing to St. Mungo’s, he offered everyone up a butterbeer (which you graciously accepted) to calm the nerves. When you all had received the small letter from Mrs. Weasley, Sirius suggested that everyone try to obtain some rest so one by one, each of you filtered off to catch some sleep once you were finished with your respective butterbeers. You and Fred go off together to find a couch big enough for the both of you, quickly settling into deep sleep.

In the days that followed upon your arrival, you had finally met Mrs. Weasley and although you were seeing her at a tough time, she was thrilled to meet you and have you around for Christmas. Things were a bit tense with Fred’s siblings given the state of things, but you didn’t want to make what they were going through worse so you gave them their space. With your free time you had got to know Sirius and seemed to get along well given the many similarities between the two of you. You had also learned about the Order of the Phoenix and found that his home was made the Order’s headquarters. And then on the day the Weasley family was heading to St. Mungo’s to visit Mr. Weasley, you met a few more of the Order members, including Mad-Eye and Tonks. After a few discussions with them about the Order and their careers as dark wizard catchers you just knew you wanted to follow their paths and become an Auror and join the Order after you finished your schooling.

It was finally the day Mr. Weasley would be getting released from St. Mungo’s and the whole lot of you Hogwarts students were busy tidying up around preparing for his arrival while Mrs. Weasley, Mad-Eye, and Tonks went out.

You were currently cleaning down the tabletops in the kitchen with Hermione when you heard George in the next room over beginning to speak out of the blue. “I just don’t get it. My father has a near death experience and he has to come home to around another slimy snake...unbelievable.” he scoffs.

You halt in your movement as you look up to the door separating the two rooms. The whole time you had been here, you hadn’t possibly done anything to set the boy off.

You hear your boyfriend speak up, anger laced within his tone. “George mate, stop. What the hell! She hasn’t done anything to make you be so cross with her. What the hell gives?”

You drop the towel in your hand onto the dark table, rushing over to the swinging door that separated the rooms. You push it open to see the two redheads glowering at one another in rage as Ginny, Ron, and Harry stop in the midst of their own cleaning to watch the building argument.

“What gives?” he shouts. “What gives is that she shouldn't be here! She doesn’t belong here with the Order nor is she family! It’s not like she likes us anyways! Besides, she’s a Slytherin for Merlin’s sake! Who knows what she’ll go and tell Umbridge when we get back to school. Better yet, who knows what she will go say to those death eater parents of hers to get all of our asses all killed. ”

“That’s enough! Your bang out of line! You don’t know a thing about her but yet you decide to hate her?! That’s my girlfriend, George!”

“None of us know her because she doesn’t want us to know her! We’re your family Fred and she’s kept herself from that. She-”

“ENOUGH!” Fred bursts in anger, making you flinch. You had never heard Fred so...so livid before. “That. Is. Enough.” his tone rough and grave. He looked around the room, looking into the eyes of each of his siblings as he spoke, “You three loathe her because you believe she thinks of us as beneath her. She’s not like that! You all don’t know her because I didn’t want you to know her. I wanted to keep my family and my relationship separate and I see now that that was a horrible mistake and I’m sorry! She truly has always wanted to meet and spend time with you guys but I have been the one to say no every time, even when she begged and pleaded!”

“Ginny.” His little sister's body straightened upon the hearing of her name, “you would actually really like her. The way you feel and talk about Quidditch, she’s the exact same way. You’re as much of a headstrong firecracker as she is too. You would get along so well..”

“Ron…” he paused looking at his youngest brother, “I have never seen someone more strategic with Wizard’s Chess and obsessed with the Chudley Cannons than (Y/N). You both could talk for hours about that team and never get tired, you would think she’s great, too.”

Fred looks back to his twin, his eyes softening. “And Georgie...you’re my twin. You have no idea how hard she fought to meet you. After mum and dad, she’s wanted to get to know you the most because she knows just how much you mean to me. You aren’t just my twin, you’re my best mate. Not only does she support me, and you too, she supports our dream of opening the joke shop; something we’ve wanted since we were kids! You would love her maybe just as much as I do. She’s actually brilliant, I’m telling you. She’s smart, funny, inventive, ambitious, and just as much of a kid-at-heart as we are..” he grinned a bit with a few tears pricking his eyes.

The tension encased in the quaint room was undeniably thick. With teary eyes, you take a glance at his siblings and see their faces are all beginning to mirror the same emotions. Embarrassment, guilt, and shame. You couldn’t lie, seeing them at least a bit remorseful for the way they treated you and made you feel, made you feel a tad bit better.

As he takes a few paces across the room to stand next to you, he looks around at his siblings one last time, “If you want someone to be mad at, be mad at me. Not (Y/N). As my family, I’m begging you, give her a real chance. I love her and I can guarantee you all would love her too.”

You gently wrap your hand around Fred’s bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze with a watery smile. He looks down at you, tenderly kissing your forehead before grabbing your hand in his much larger one and leading you up the staircase to the room you were staying in. You peek back at his siblings as you ascend the steps, offering them a meek smile of their own. When Ginny had returned with the slightest smile in response, it gave you a new hope that things would be different from here on out.

Christmas was finally being celebrated at 12 Grimmauld Place and everyone was in high, happy spirits. In the past few days, Ron and Ginny took the initiative to get to know you, and you with them; and as Fred predicted, they enjoyed you and the company you offered. You connected very well with the both of them, and you couldn’t be happier. Mr. Weasley was ecstatic to finally meet you at last and welcomed you wholeheartedly. He ended up talking your ear off quite a bit about all things he knew about Muggles but you genuinely enjoyed his conversations and enthusiasm!

Currently, you were helping Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen, placing the last few finishing touches on the small feast the lot of you would be indulging in when Fred and George strolled into the room. Fred waltzed over to you wrapping a strong arm around your waist, spinning you around into his chest. You giggled happily as he placed a quick tender kiss on your lips before pulling away when his mom swatted his shoulder from behind him. Mrs. Weasley announced that the food was ready and for everyone to take their seats so you could get started. Before you all tucked in, she walked around the table handing out brightly colored paper wrapped packages to each of the children. You were beyond surprised when she gestured for you to grab the one she had been holding out in front of you.

“I got something, too? Mrs. Weasley, you shouldn’t have! Thank you so much!” You spoke as you tore open the wrappings. You see a beautifully homemade scarf and matching gloves in your house colors of silver and green. Your eyes crinkle in excitement as you wrap the fluffy scarf around your neck. You peer up at her again, “I love it, thank you!”

“You’re welcome, dear. I hear those dungeons are quite chilling, those ‘ought to keep you extra warm, I guarantee it.”

You thank her again and before you can begin to show Hermione your wonderful gift, another package is thrusted your way. You see only this time, it’s George holding it out to you.

“What is this?” you gently grab it from his hands, your eyebrow arching in wonder.

“This is technically something from the entire family but I had been the one to ask mum to make it. I owe you, and Fred too, a huge apology. I was a right foul git to you and should have never said those awful things to or about you, and for that I’m very sorry. I know it doesn’t completely change the fact that it happened but I hope you both can forgive me. I have never seen anyone a better match for my twin and I’m happy he has you in his life. Go ahead and open it.“

Your beam at him as you unwrap your second gift, your eyes immediately filling with happy tears when you look down to see what it is. You take the dark green plush sweater out of the paper and hold it up, your eyes roaming over your first initial that had been stitched in white, in elation. “My very own Weasley sweater?!”

George cracked a sincere smile as you hurriedly pulled the sweater over your head to try it on. “Welcome to the family, (Y/N).”

Taglist: @weasleytwinswheezes

#averyharrypotterchristmas #harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #george weasley #harry potter #weasley family #order of the phoenix #fred weasley x reader

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ngc-5194 · 2 years

Note

Hello, Lemon Drop! I hope you've had a lovely day so far 💛💛💛 I know literally next to nothing about twewy but I would be inch rested to hear your thoughts about it anyway 👀 if you'd like!

hello happi!! and hehehe ty for enabling me <333 /hj

The first character I first fell in love with - Shiki!! I think you'd like her too honestly, Happi! She was always just so kind and sweet and upbeat despite their situation, (not to mention mr. mew is Iconic) and I really loved her a lot. Were I in Neku in that situation, I think the exact same thing would've been claimed as my second entry fee, the best friend vibes she gives off are simply Too Strong.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now - Beat, honestly. Ok, so, I'll be real, I didn't especially love Neku at the start of the game either, but (considering he's the main character) I knew that I would grow to like him, no matter how much of the game it took playing through. Beat, on the other hand, I wasn't really sold on. He very much had his valid reasons for disliking Neku, and I thought he was a pretty fun character, but until like... halfway into Week 2, I found him... kinda boring? As he had more and more development and screentime though, I grew to really like him! :D

The character everyone else loves that I don’t - One Mr. Sho Minamimoto. Listen, he's fun, sure. In NEO he was great, but I just don't see the appeal. If I wanted to listen to someone scream math terms at me that they (canonically) don't completely understand, I would just go to my brother. His whole Taboo Noise plot and Leo Cantus are pretty cool though, I will admit.

The character I love that everyone else hates - Hmm,,,, I guess Yammer? Though really I think that's only a lack of people remembering him instead of actively hating him. This question doesn't really apply because I really haven't seen an exuberant amount of hate for Any character (esspecially not the ones I really like). Maybe Josh sometimes???? but there's an equal if not greater pushback of love for him, and he's one of my favourites, so ????

The character I used to love but don’t any longer - Kanon, I suppose? She never really clicked for me the way most of the rest of the cast did, but I liked her, I thought she was pretty cool. Her death didn't affect me much, but it was certaintly felt. Kinda all went up in smoke (and it's technically the writer's fault but) when offical ages were released. Kanon, a 23 year old, flirting/encouraging Fret, a 15 year old, to flirt with her is just... Not It. It's a bad look.

The character I would totally smooch - (On the cheek) Rhyme, Shoka, Eiru, Shiki, Joshua (probably maybe), and Rindo :D

The character I’d want to be like - Eri No offense to the rest of the cast, but both before and after the Game she seems to be the most put together of them all. And the one (1) thing she did wrong was accidentally cause a misunderstanding between her and Shiki. A misunderstanding in which she was trying to compliment her friend. Or the Prince, in a sense. How confident in himself he is is something quite a few people strive for. Though, I perhaps would just like to be just a bit more self confident not,,, Quite as much as he is.

The character I’d slap - *chanting* Kubo! Kubo! Kubo! Kubo! He probably wouldn't even feel it, but consider: I don't care, it'd be worth it <3

A pairing that I love - Erishiki. I am always soft for best friends to lovers. (Meaning, yes, Frindo is in here too) And, of course, Joshneku. That,,,,, their dynamic is simply Very Good, and I wish Joshua had gotten more time in NEO

A pairing that I despise - Uhh,, Mr H x Joshua and Uzuki x Kariya. The vibes are simply Off for me on those two. For,,,, a number of reasons. 💙

#asks #happi-tree #ask game #twewy #twewy spoilers #neo twewy #neo twewy spoilers #long post #ignore the proper capitalization in this post. too much writing. looked weird without proper punctuation #oh and if those last two questions were non romantic: like- neku and shiki and rhyme and beat #dislike - kitaniji and konishi #also! ty again happi i could ramble about these games for. Way too long

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finiteuniverse13 · 3 years

Text

Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

#seal team #eric blackburn #clay spenser #cerberus #pepper #brock reynolds #trent sawyer #sonny quinn #ray perry #jason hayes #fanfic #cross published on ao3 #we wrote this in maybe 2 hours #it probably shows #chaos #discord chaos #discord friends #discord nonsense

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chemicalpink · 3 years

Note

Hey, I hope you are doing good this was a thing that was wondering me so there are lot of bts future spouse /soulmate/twinflame videos being made on youtube and honestly everyone is being psychic like it has become a shitshow and what was previously just for curiosity fun and entertainment are becoming extremely emotionally invested in the topic especially for maknae line soulmate it would be interesting if the can do a tarot reading or your spiritual experience why is the future spouse saga turning ugly and does universe what us to know something through it !? Because it's becoming pretty crazy right now

Okay so I believe that yes, the spiritual part has a lot to do behind this occurrence, but I also think its roots lay on psicosocial matters and honestly I could go on for days about this but I’ll try to restrict it to a few points that you’ve mentioned

Why all of a sudden everyone seems to be tarot readers/astrologers/psychic?

The capitalism behind celebrities and how does that play a part in what is going on?

Are these people accurate at all?

How does energy shifting play a part in this?

Is the soulmate journey even something a third person would be able to note?

But first a Disclaimer: this opinion/rant is based on my experience with spirituality, I am obviously a mere mortal, so I do not hold the absolute truth. Spirituality is a constant learning process and it is open to discussion and interpretation of each person. I am also now a proud sociologist graduate that specialises in a lot of the stuff that has to do with what anon is asking, I’m a social behaviouralist applied to the entertainment industry as well but I’ll also provide my resources in the end.

A/N: Some of you might not yet be ready to read all of this, if I see ANY of you trying to start beef with me, even after the disclaimer, I'm gonna block you. If you want to talk more about it or want to discuss it further, DO SO OFF ANON. ISTG you’ve been warned, I’ve been working on this for the longest time, it even has resources to back all of it up! I’m so glad anon asked, I’m done being diplomatic on this topic (I know people that usually ask stuff are so respectful and i love you guys for it, this note is for those people that regularly jump on my asks to stir things up)

You guys are in for a whole academic article if you decide to read this

SO FUN AND EXCITINGGGG Let us start with behavioural economics as our base to understand the whole phenomenon, it's such a broad and kinda complex concept (especially since I’m trying to extrapolate it to this particular scenario) so let me do my best. It has a lot to do with trend following, although at least to me, it's unclear how exactly this content came to be (soulmate readings, channeling messages, etc) I am guessing it had something to do with an intersectionality between the general spirituality boom that we’ve met with during the pandemic and some person that just as any other marketable opportunity, saw a bridge between fandom life and this spiritual life (both prominent trends in the last two years or so) and honestly, it worked perfectly, whatever their initial intentions were, they threw out a new “product” and it kind of sold itself, two different trends coming together… turned into a behavioural game theory where if you played the part that allows your content to be consumed, you’ll get rewarded for it. In more simple words, tarot meets fandoms (alternatively, tarot meets BTS) is great as it is! but the fan behaviour (which we’ll talk about in a bit) positions the most private parts of the celebrities’ lives to be much more interesting than things that we are already able to see (personal experience, love readings do so much better than idk career readings and it all comes down to behavioural trends of perceiving ‘love’ as something very intimate)

Now, this is where we’ll begin to talk about capitalism as a whole, even in non-monetary systems like social media, where it takes more of a rewarding system via likes, views, reblogs, etc. The whole principle of us living in such a system is being aspirational, we see others profiting off of something, we might want to reach out and do the same so we can profit ourselves, which honestly, I think is what happened with the whole BTS soulmate readings boom, they get a lot of attention, and as a basic market law, as demand goes up and a few people that initially did these readings are no longer capable to satisfy the need of the people wanting to know all the tea, there are market opportunities for other people to do the same thing and increase the offer, although since this whole theory is behavioural, it is very context-dependant, which ends up not following the principle of the consumers being rational about how much and what content they consume, they just sort of consume all of it, regardless of whether the content creator is qualified to offer such content or not, which ultimately only adds onto a never ending cycle of more people claiming they are tarot readers/astrologers/psychics and fear nothing because this is the internet, you don't really have to enter any qualifications to be able to create content, whether someone is reliable in internet terms is basically all about how many likes they’ve got (which is why I always tell you guys to please consume content responsible).

When it comes to accuracy- I guess that’s the hardest part of all, we can’t just have pointers that would automatically tells us if someone’s craft is valid or not, since everyone’s craft is different all craft is valid to a certain extent (you can easily find scammers of course but that’s another story) what we can have are personal standards and deciding what content to consume or whose content to consume, but that’s entirely a personal decision and since so many people are invested in it- it seems really hard that these “market tendencies” might change any time soon. On that same note of accuracy, I really feel the need to talk about a major occurrence I’ve come across in this whole soulmate scene, minors. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a minor and approaching spirituality (I was very much a minor when I started) but there’s a huge difference between just playing around and deciding to create content for the whole world to have access to. Of course I’m aware not all tarot readers in the BTS fandom are minors, and ARMY is very diverse and even if they were only minors it would be wrong to invalidate them, but we can’t ignore the statistics of it when touching this particular topic, according to 2020 data, 50,31% of ARMY are below 18 years old, and 42,59% are between 18-29 but why is this important? because the exact historical and economic moment we are living in mainly impacts these two age groups, thus making all 92,90% of ARMY a potential target to consuming or falling in a behavioural game theory of creating this content without them necessarily being qualified for it. But hey, why do you keep talking about the importance of being qualified? Glad you asked, creating spiritual content all comes down to one amazing term: accountability.

And this will explore two main phases of it, one applicable for that 50,31% that could potentially be drawn to create spiritual content and other for the 42,59% that could potentially be dragged to creating that content without much spiritual knowledge. For the first one, it has a lot to do with cognitive aspects, young people tend to do stuff without much further thought about how their actions impact other people, which, as they should, they are kids, they shouldn’t have to worry too much about emotional responsibility as us adults do, furthermore, they are in life stages where they can’t really comprehend many abstract concepts that we later learn in life, and spirituality is one of those concepts, so they tend to just have fun with it with no regards on how their content might impact other minors (this is where the whole feeding a false scenario that is potentially delusional in exchange of more views, likes comes into play) on a more spiritual level, they also aren’t able to comprehend the boundaries of the celebrities they’re reading for, us readers have to always be careful about the information we give out since it is not ours to give. As for the second group, some of this is still applicable since theorists consider a full cognitive maturity until 23 years of age, but since it is very intersectional itself, i would found it more to a spiritual responsibility, since they are young adults, and if they haven’t been spiritually guided as kids, they’re most probably eager to learn and just awakening yet to some of them the drive to this spirituality is content creation instead of inner work, so they get their hands on a tarot deck, might kind of read a few things, call it a day and start reading for BTS (note: not all of them, I’m aware)

As for the maknae line being the most sought out people with this content, I guess it kinda makes sense now that I’ve said all of the information above, maknae line is closest to the age group of 92,90% of ARMY, so they instantly become more marketable to this content creation and the whole Game Theory that we are seeing. With all that being said, and just adding a note coming from my own spiritual experience, soulmates in any form are a difficult topic for a third person to prode, which is why I, personally, tend to not touch that topic, love is one hell of a concept, especially since we all have different conceptions of love and interpersonal relationships. I do know for a fact that there’s only so far we can go in terms of fated connections, like with astrology, but even then, we would have to know their birth times exactly (so we can check for any indicator or a soulmate connection), and/or compare BTS with the rest of the world’s population in order to accurately tell if someone has a soulmate synastry/overlay/composite with them. Also, soulmate journeys are intimate and we are all just fans, what right do we even have to look for things that do not and will never belong to us?

This is why I’m always telling you guys to PLEASE consume content responsibly! Really! Us content consumers also have our part to play that can help us get more accurate, more drama-free content

REFERENCES (what? you thought I was joking? they’re in alphabetical order)

ARMYCENSUS 2020

Loewenstein, G., O’Donoghue, T., & Rabin, M. (2003). Projection bias in predicting future utility. Quarterly Journal of Economics, 118(4), 1209-1248.

March, J. G. (1978). Bounded rationality, ambiguity, and the engineering of choice. The Bell Journal of Economics, 9(2), 587-608.

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion and motivation Psychological Review, 98, 224-253.

Mazar, N., Amir, O., & Ariely, D. (2008). The dishonesty of honest people: A theory of self-concept maintenance. Journal of Marketing Research, 45(6), 633-644.

Murphy, S. T., & Zajonc, R. B. (1993). Affect, cognition, and awareness: Affective priming with optimal and suboptimal stimulus exposures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 723-729.

Samson, A., & Voyer, B. (2014). Emergency purchasing situations: Implications for consumer decision-making. Journal of Economic Psychology, 44, 21-33.

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: Ecco.

Shah, A. K., & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2008). Heuristics made easy: an effort-reduction framework. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 207-222.

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The making of behavioral economics. Allen Lane.

Thaler, R. H. (2008). Mental accounting and consumer choice. Marketing Science, 27, 15-25.

Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2009). The habitual consumer. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19, 579-592.

#i really said: thesis? wHERE #im sorry i jump at any given opportunity to rant #especially if it gives me an opportunity to share knowledge with you guys

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cheri-translates · 3 years

Text

[CN] ASMR Transcripts (Shaw)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for ASMRs which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

This post contains transcripts of the following:

> scorching inscription - 滚烫印迹

> aftertaste - 余味

> low mumbling - 低喃

> tip of the tongue and heart - 舌尖心上

scorching inscription - 滚烫印迹

No responses to my messages, no picking up of my calls

I even thought you got kidnapped.

You’re only checking your phone now?

What were you doing just now?

Were you spending the whole day writing your proposal?

Will you ever be able to finish your work?

Huh? You still need some time?

Hurry up. I don’t have much patience.

[ sound of fizzy drink being poured ]

What are you looking at me for?

Who made it a rule that I can’t come find you even when there’s nothing on?

Done with your work?

From what I can tell, you don’t seem to be thinking about work.

In that case…

Take a break.

You didn’t know that today is a resting day?

It’s enough.

Stop holding on to your computer and refusing to let go.

What’s the meaning of a computer?

Come, let me show you something more exciting. Here.

I found this small plaything in the shop.

I’m giving it to you.

No way.

You don’t know what this is?

Hm, you’re so stupid.

Fine, I’ll help you expand your knowledge.

This is citrine. It’s a type of crystal.

Do you want to know what citrine can be used for?

You really don’t want to? Tch. What a shame.

I originally wanted to carve a seal for you today.

Since you don’t want it, I’m leaving.

What is it?

Do you regret now?

Fine. My mood is pretty good today. I’ll give you some face.

“Why did you buy this?”

You have so many questions.

I wanted to buy it, so I did. Do I still need to list out the reasons why?

Bring your own chair and sit beside me.

Tell me. What do you want to carve on the seal?

So hesitant?

Forget it. I’ll help you choose.

Seeing how you put in so much heart into your work, how about carving a “World’s No. 1 Producer”?

[ Shaw laughs ]

No way, you really what to carve this?

It’s possible to carve it, but where would you use it?

Work documents? Or do you plan to play with it for a few days and toss it aside?

The things I give you

You have to look at them every day

Use them every day

Understood?

How about this. What’s the meaning in carving words? I’ll carve a rabbit.

It does things slowly just like you. It looks silly… eh what are you doing!

I’m not even done yet.

Mm, however, it does have moments of intelligence.

Tch – you’re quite picky.

Then what do you want?

Carve lightning?

That requires too little skill.

How about this. I’ll carve a rabbit that’s surrounded by lightning. Only then would it be interesting.

[ carving sounds ]

Oi, you’re blocking the light.

Move over there a little.

You’re too extreme. I didn’t ask you to go so far away from me.

Come here.

Almost done.

How does this bunny look?

Huh?

Of course it looks good. You know your stuff.

Lightning…

You try. You wouldn’t carve it crookedly.

I could teach you step by step. That will work, right?

Don’t tremble.

The knife has to be steady.

Don’t panic. These things can’t be rushed.

Why are you so nervous? You’re sweating.

Focus.

If you’re like this, I’ll lose focus too.

Almost done.

Done.

Your seal. Try it.

Not bad.

Especially the rabbit’s expression.

It’s basically the exact same as yours.

I didn’t even say it looked bad.

It’s just… it makes people want to give it a pinch.

I carved you a seal personally.

Pinching your face shall be an exchange.

Hm? You’re not letting me pinch you?

That’s not for you to decide.

This seal – do you like it?

When you look at this citrine, I immediately felt it should be yours.

It’s quite similar to you.

…why?

Think about it yourself.

Mm…

The seal… is yours.

What is on the seal… is also yours.

aftertaste - 余味

[ sound of burning incense, Shaw’s footsteps, lots of random sounds ]

It’s been lit.

I’m turning the lights off.

And then?

Wait?

Wait for what?

So it’s really the case.

You must be bored.

This toy – isn’t it the thing kids put on birthday cakes.

That… what’s that called…

So you like such things? [laughs]

Okay, I’ve got it.

Give me your hand.

I told you to give me your hand, not retract it.

[ rustling of sheets ]

I realised that you truly lack a sense of balance.

What?

I just pulled you lightly

And you already fell over

If it isn’t a lack of balance, what is it?

[ rustling of sheets ]

Oh right.

What’s this sachet for?

Is it just meant to be a toy?

It’s not that nice to smell either.

You seem to be playing with such things lately.

Like lavender mist sprays

Sandalwood eye masks

And random tea oils.

I feel as though my nose hasn’t had a peaceful moment in this duration.

No matter where I walk, I smell such things.

Hm. Insomnia isn’t anything serious.

There’s no need to be so anxious.

Also, such aromatherapy is useless.

[ Shaw’s footsteps ]

If you can’t sleep, then don’t sleep. Do something else. When you’re tired, you’d naturally sleep.

Don’t tell me it’s because of work. Don’t you have fresher worries?

Or do you think things that aren’t finished in the morning will automatically resolve themselves on the bed?

Come here. I’ll teach you how to sleep.

If you want to sleep, sleep. Don’t toss and turn.

Are you cold?

[ Shaw gets out of bed and adjusts the temperature ]

Pull the blanket over yourself tighter.

[ Thunder sounds in the background ]

Close your eyes.

It doesn’t matter how much you toss and turn. As long as you don’t close your eyes, you wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Tch, you’re already an adult. You still want someone to teach you how to sleep?

How about I teach you how to ride the skateboard?

Or take you to listen to my class next week?

These two things are very sleep-inducing, especially the class idea.

Just staring at the black board and not doing anything is enough to lull one to sleep. And the sleep is even more blissful than usual. Sleeping for half an hour is comparable to eight hours of normal sleep.

[ Shaw’s breathing ]

So hugging you from behind feels like this.

I usually don’t notice, but your shampoo smells good. Much better than that random aromatherapy.

Have you been unable to sleep for a long time?

Why didn’t you mention it earlier?

There are more scientific methods, and yet you buy these random items to try.

You truly are… Hmm, let me find a word that wouldn’t be a big blow to you… Right… ‘lacking in IQ’.

Ah, why are you hitting me? I’m not wrong.

Give me your hand.

I’m not going to hit you.

What are you thinking? I’m not as childish as you.

When I had trouble sleeping last time, I would hold something in my hands.

I have no idea why, but it could help me sleep more peacefully.

You should try it too. I’ll let you hold my hand for the entire night.

I told you to close your eyes.

Remember. Maintain your breathing. Hold me tight. Don’t think of anything else.

I promise that you’ll have a good sleep tonight.

low mumbling - 低喃

[ ruffling sounds ]

Just sleep.

I’m doing my homework.

Tch, what’s weird about doing homework?

Do you know what it means to be “a paragon of virtue and learning”?

I’m referring to myself.

[ sound of paper rustling ]

It’s not early.

You should sleep.

Don’t bother about me.

[ sound of Shaw scribbling ]

You really went to sleep?

Hey, are you asleep?

[ Shaw walks over ]

You’re actually in such a deep sleep

And didn’t think of waiting for me.

[ Shaw slides into the bed ]

Are you really asleep?

[ ruffling sounds ]

I knew you were pretending to sleep.

Are you having trouble sleeping again?

Your quality of sleep is really worrying.

Let me think.

Hey, let me count sheep for you.

No, count rabbits.

[ Shaw clears his throat ]

One dumb bunny.

Two stupid bunnies.

Three messy-haired bunnies.

Four flat-haired bunnies.

Five greedy bunnies.

Six picky bunnies.

Seven crybaby bunnies.

Eight scholarly bunnies.

Nine-

Hey, I’m trying to coax you to sleep.

Are you sure you can sleep when you’re laughing like this?

Come here.

Tch. Lean over here. I’ll continue counting.

[ Shaw takes a deep breath ]

One bunny. Two bunnies. Three bunnies. Four bunnies. Five bunnies. Six bunnies. Seven bunnies. Eight bunnies. Nine bunnies. Ten bunnies. Eleven bunnies. Twelve bunnies. Thirteen bunnies. Fourteen bunnies. Fifteen bunnies. Sixteen bunnies. Seventeen bunnies. Eighteen bunnies. Nineteen bunnies. Twenty bunnies.

21 bunnies. 22 bunnies. 23 bunnies. 24 bunnies. 25 bunnies. 26 bunnies. 27 bunnies. 28 bunnies. 29 bunnies. 30 bunnies. 31 bunnies. 32 bunnies. 33 bunnies. 34 bunnies. 35 bunnies.

[ Shaw yawns ]

What’s wrong? I’m tired and your eyes are still wide open. Why do you keep staring at me? Sleep seriously.

36 scallion rabbit meat.

37 mala rabbit heads.

38 simmered rabbit feet.

I’m eating rabbits, not you.

Why are you throwing a fit?

Or do you think I want to eat…

You can’t sleep. So you aren’t tired. Why not do something that can make you tired? That way, you’ll naturally fall asleep.

Am I wrong?

Mm. You’re more obedient now.

Pull your blanket properly.

If you don’t want to catch a cold, stick closer to me.

36 bunnies-

Did I count to 36 just now?

Your interruption has made me lose count.

Forget it. Let’s start from the beginning.

[ Shaw yawns ]

I’m tired from counting.

Are you asleep?

If you don’t sleep, I’m not going to care.

Anyway, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.

Eh? Could it be that you aren’t able to sleep because of me?

Are you not used to sleeping with someone?

Should I sleep on the sofa-

What? Don’t want me to leave?

Why don’t you want me to leave?

There must be a reason.

For example, you wanting to continue hugging me, and things like that.

What kind of an expression is that?

Did I hit the nail on the head?

[ rustling ]

Hmm…

I don’t think you want to sleep either.

Let’s not sleep then.

It’s fine to stay up late.

Want to get up to play a game?

No?

You don’t want to play a game, or you don’t want to get up?

You aren’t saying anything?

Then I’ll take it that you don’t want to get up.

Let me guess what you’re thinking about.

Are you thinking about this?

[ Shaw kisses MC ]

I’ve hit the nail on the head.

Next time, just tell me what you’re thinking of directly.

I don’t have the patience to keep guessing.

But I’m in a good mood today.

Whatever you want,

I’ll satisfy you.

I’ll keep satisfying you until you willingly and obediently sleep.

[ rustling sounds ]

tip of the tongue and heart - 舌尖心上

[ sound of door + footsteps ]

It’s so late and you aren’t asleep yet.

What are you doing?

Are you having insomnia again?

I told you before –

Don’t tax your mind and body when you work.

You can’t even sleep well.

[ footsteps ]

Oh? You were specially waiting for me to return?

How rare.

[ footsteps + Shaw’s sigh ]

Hey, did you do something against your conscience behind my back?

Tch, you’ve done few of them?

Let me count.

Messing up the arrangement of my books,

Using my antique porcelain dish as a box for soap

[ MC whacks Shaw]

Ack, why did you hit me?

Was I not speaking the truth?

Fine,

Stop keeping me in suspense.

What do you want?

Huh? You’ve prepared Baileys Irish Cream?

Don’t you know that you have a very poor alcohol tolerance?

You still want to drink?

Even though its alcohol level is very low

It looks to me like you don’t really want to drink it.

You don’t even have a bribe.

However,

It’s not an impossibility.

I’m also a little curious about how you’d look like after drinking.

[ footsteps ]

What’s the rush?

Hold on.

Hm?

I’m making you a cup of exclusive Baileys Irish Cream of course.

One that normal people don’t get to drink.

[ clinking of cups ]

Tch. What’s strange about me knowing how to mix drinks?

It’s such a simple thing.

You’ll know it at a glance.

[ footsteps ]

Coffee, milk, chocolate

And ice-cream.

Mm… forget about the ice-cream.

Among the remaining three, pick one.

You have to hesitate about this?

If you don’t say anything, I’ll take it that you’re picking milk.

Hm?

I just like adding milk. Can’t I do that?

[ footsteps ]

All right, we can start mixing.

Watch carefully.

[ mixing ]

I’ll put it out there first.

If you turn into a drunken cat, I’m not going to take care of you.

[ mixing ]

Hey hey hey,

That’s enough.

Don’t think of being greedy.

[ mixing ]

The milk has been added.

Want ice cubes?

Let’s just add two cubes.

Otherwise, the taste wouldn’t be as interesting.

[ footsteps + sound of ice cubes ]

Done.

[ footsteps ]

Here.

Shaw-style Baileys Irish Cream.

Only one cup.

[ clinking of cups + washing sounds ]

What’s with that expression?

There aren’t any ingredients at home.

So of course I could only do a simple mix.

[ pouring ]

Hm, you have quite a lot of demands.

At most, I’ll mix a more complicated one for you next time, okay?

[ footsteps ]

If you still don’t try it, I’ll drink it myself.

[ ruffling sound + drinking ]

How is it?

Looking at your expression, I already know the answer.

[ drinking ]

Why are you drinking it so quickly?

The strength is low,

But I don’t have faith in your alcohol tolerance.

[ drinking ]

Hey,

You don’t drink it like that.

I know you can’t taste anything.

But you should at least pretend to.

Hm?

Then tell me,

How is the drink I mixed?

Just “not bad”?

Come over here.

Come here.

Why are you in a silly daze?

Come a little closer.

Hm?

Whether the taste is good –

I can try it myself.

I’ll use my own method to taste it.

[ kiss ]

This type of drink is still a little too sweet.

Isn’t it?

In that case, I’ll just taste it again.

Hm?

You’re unwilling?

It isn’t up to you.

When will I finish tasting it?

I’ll have the final say.

80 notes · View notes

babeyvenus · 3 years

Text

The Wolf Among Us

Bigby x OC

Summary: Sonya Blaze, A.K.A. Hell Rider, is a half fable, half mundy girl who comes to Fabletown to learn more about her side of the folktales. She works alongside Sheriff Bigby Wolf's as his newest partner and together they strive to find out who's behind the unexpected murders in Fabletown.

TW: Mentions of death, gore/blood, alcohol, smoking drugs, sex implications, suicide, guns and ofc language.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 12: Witches and Bloody Who?

1284 White Plains Ave

2:14 AM

14 minutes late

“Bigby! Sonya!”, Snow shouted, catching up with the two as they walked down the hall. “We’re late.” Snow said.

“Yeah, we know.”, Bigby said as they walked up to a door with the number 23. “This is it.”, he said as the three of them stood in front of the door. “Alright. How do you want to do this?”, Snow asked them. “We’re not storming inside, that’s for sure. We have no idea who this A.G. person is.”, Sonya said.

Bigby puts his ear on the door to listen for anything. “Anything?”, Snow asked him. “If anyone’s in there, they’re being awfully quiet….”, he says and knocks on the door. Right after, the door opens to reveal a little girl in a yellow dress and her black hair in pigtails. “Hello?”, she greets, drowsily.

Sonya covered her mouth at the sight of the little girl as the other two stared in shock. “Hi…” Snow greeted. “You woke me up.” The girl said. “Uh, sorry about that.”, Sonya said, kneeling to her height. The little girl rubs her eyes. “Sorry, there. Wasn’t aware this was a munchkin’s house.”, Bigby says, making the little girl make a confused face.

“Well, Dorothy, it isn’t.”, she responded with a smile, making Sonya snort. “She got you.”, Sonya says, making Bigby give her heel a nudge. “If I wasn’t so secure in my manhood, I’d have taken that as an insult.”, he says, smiling. The little girl giggled.

“What’s your name?”, Sonya asked. “Rachel. Who are you?”, the little girl responded.

“Well, I’m the Sheriff. And this is my partner,” Bigby started but Snow cut him off. “Uh, boss.” Snow said, annoyed. Bigby frowned at her, “I was referring to Sonya.”, he said, hushed. “Pleased to meet you. How do you do? Is there….Is there anything you need?", Rachel says.

"Is anyone at home? Does your mom live here?”, she asked her. “Does she ever…you know, make the nightstand levitate? Turn frogs into cats, that kind of thing?”, Bigby asked her.

“Is she a witch, dear?” Snow corrected. “Oh no, I would never call my mommy that. She treats me alright.”, Rachel says with a head nod. “Rachel, do you mind if we take just a quick peek around?”, Bigby asked.

“What are we looking for, specifically?”, Snow asked Bigby. “Crane. He could still be here.”, Bigby says, sniffing around the room. Sonya looked at the huge tree in the room. “This is ginormous for a house plant…”

“We’ll be super quick, and we won’t touch anything.”, Sonya said to Rachel and walked past her, looking around the cramped living area. “I’ve been here all night! Nobody’s been here!”, Rachel shouts at the three adults.

Bigby glances at her with a raised eyebrow. “Ok, Sheriff, I’m gonna trust you not to break anything…don’t get me in trouble.”, she huffs.

She glances at the record player and looks at Rachel. “Lemme guess, big band or...classical?” Rachel smiles, “Honky Tonk.”

“No accounting for taste….”, Bigby mutters, making Sonya gape at him and tap his arm a bit, earning a smile from him. He looks at a picture. “That your mom?”, he asked. “Uh huh.”, Rachel said, proudly.

“It’s pretty rare to see a burner like this.”, Sonya says, crouching down with a content smile. “Dowdy. That’s how we like it.”, Rachel grins.

Bigby sniffs around again. “Not here.”

“Your mom a hunter?”, Bigby asked as he looked at the deer skull. “Oh, no, she’d never…that was found in the woods around Dix Mountain. I think.”, Rachel responds.

“Why does she have such a huge tree?”, Sonya asked as Bigby turned to look at the tree. “Mommy uses that to carve her trinkets. It’s from the old world.”, Rachel says excitedly. “Trinkets? Like glamours?” Snow asked her, making her shrug.

“There’s no one here but me.”, Rachel repeats.

Bigby walks back over to the divider and looks behind it but sees nothing. “There’s nothing that looks like Crane was here, either.”, Bigby said.

“Great...”, Sonya mutters. “See?” Rachel said, smirking.

Sonya goes to the back of the room and sees a closet door. She opens it and sees a box with a label.

Deliver to Aunty Greenleaf

Return Address The Butcher

“A.G….”, Sonya steps back to look at Rachel. “Your mom’s Aunty Greenleaf?” She nods.

Bigby walks over to her. “The Butcher.”, Sonya muttered. “What?”, Bigby asked. “A package having to do with someone called The Butcher.”, she says, closing the door.

“Damn it.” Bigby mutters, shaking his head as if he was trying to get something off his face. “I keep getting whiffs of that aftershave of his.”

“Is that a glamour tube?”, Bigby asked, making Sonya and Snow stop. “Mommy really doesn’t let anyone play with that. Trust me, I’ve tried.”, Rachel warned.

Sonya sniffed in the air, frowning a bit. “I do, too.” Snow nods, “Me too.” Rachel rubs her eyes. “Can I go to bed now? Please?”

Sonya yawned. “It is pretty late…”, she said and started to follow Snow, who walked towards the door. Rachel follows, along with Bigby, but he stops once he notices a glamour tube on the work table.

Bigby walks up to the table and picks up the tube. “Oh, no no no no no, please please please just put that back exactly where you found it. No one is allowed to play with that.”, Rachel said, her eyes widening. “It’s alright, honey, Bigby’s not going to break it.”, Snow reassured her.

“No, you don’t understand. She will freak out if she discovers I’ve let people in here and let them touch her stuff, okay? She checks all the time to see if things move. I don’t wanna get in trouble.”, Rachel said, fearfully.

“I’m not gonna break it, I just want to open it.”, Bigby said, and started messing with the tube. “No! Put it down!”, Rachel shouted. Her fearful scream caused the room to shake which made Sonya and Snow look at her then at Bigby. “You’re pissing her off.”, Sonya mouths to Bigby. Snow holds Rachel back. “Please! Don’t! This isn’t what you think! You’ve gotta believe me, that guy isn’t here! I promise!”

“It’s gonna to be okay, Rachel.”, Sonya reassures her as Bigby starts to mess with the tube again, curious this time. “Please. I’m begging you. I don’t wanna…I don’t wanna get in trouble.”, Rachel begged sadly.

Bigby opens the tube, causing Rachel to scream in pain and transform into an old woman, “Auntie Greenleaf.”, Snow says in shock.

“It hurts…when you do it that fast.”, Greenleaf said, irritated as she rolled her shoulders. “You think we have time to waste on this shit?” Bigby asked, angrily, storming up to the woman. “You think this is some kind of game?”

“No. I don’t. But congratulations on winning it…if that matters to you.”, Greenleaf says, sarcastically.

“Look, now. We don’t have time. Start explaining! And from the beginning. ” Sonya says, crossing her arms as the old woman walks over to her couch and sits down. “I was born in the woods to a jackal and a deer….” Greenleaf started to explain but Sonya cuts her off, looking at Snow. “She thinks we’re joking around. You better get her.”

“Please, Greenleaf. Just help us catch Crane. That’s all we care about.” Bigby said, exasperated. “That’s not all we care about.”, Snow tells him, angrily. “I ain’t a fortune teller, Wolf. I have no heavenly idea where he went.” Greenleaf shrugs.

“You have to know something.” Snow said.

“You’re an accomplice to a goddamn murder, do you not realize that?”, Sonya fussed. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t help you. I have no interest in being turned into a skink and crushed under boot heels. There’s powers at work here beyond your pathetic authority.”, Greenleaf says.

“Whatever it is, Greenleaf….whatever it is that’s keeping you from saying something?” Snow said.

“We can protect you, okay? Whatever it is you’re afraid of….we can make sure that it won’t come to pass.” Bigby says, reassuring her. “You have no idea what’s going on, do you?” Greenleaf asked, making Sonya sigh harshly. “Y'all keep saying the exact same shit. We’re asking questions so we can know. We want to help.”

“Okay, you know what I think? I think we’ve been more than patient with you.” Snow said, angrily, storms up to Sonya and Bigby. “This witch has been selling illegal glamours that continue to undermine everything we’ve built….she’s harboring a fugitive that took advantage of it, and now she’s resisting every attempt to make things right. I frankly don’t give a crap if she’s afraid for her life, we can at least make sure she never hurts us again.”

She walks up to the tree and looks at it before she says. “We’re destroying the tree.” Sonya’s eyes widened. “Now, hold on-”

Greenleaf abruptly stands up and shouts. “No!”, she yells, causing the room to shake. Sonya stumbles to a knee, looking up at Greenleaf as she looks between the other three in anger.

“How dare you come in here and threaten to take from me the one thing that-” She takes a breath. “That tree is ancient, it’s part of the family, and it’s the only thing paying for this shithole apartment! And the Fables who can’t afford the glamours from you come to me for help. Without them, where do you think they could go?”

“Don’t give me that! You’re making money off of other peoples’ misery. Two Fables are dead because of this crap!”, Snow shouts, turning to Bigby and Sonya. “It’s too dangerous leaving this stuff with her.”

“You think I like being the old woman in these stories? The men are heroes, the ladies are whores…and the old hags like me get to watch everyone they love die!”, Greenleaf growls

Snow was about to say something but Sonya cuts her off. “Hear me out. You aren’t exactly in any position to want to destroy someone’s work, okay? Hell, I’m the one who should want her tree to burn but I won’t.”, she says, looking at Greenleaf. “There’s a better way to handle this.”

“We have very different ways of handling our fate.”, Snow said. “Very different means to handle it, too.” Greenleafs retorts.

“We’re not burning the damn tree.”, Sonya says, making Snow and Bigby turn to her.

Snow looked at her in shock. “You want this to continue?” Sonya hardened her look. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I said there is a different way to handle this.”

Bigby walked up to the tree. “Sonya’s right. Isn’t there another way? She’s a witch, can’t she just….work for us? That way she’d be official….”

“You want to reward her for criminal behavior? We can’t trust this woman on the Thirteenth floor.”, Snow said.

“It doesn’t matter cause I’d never do it. I’m not a house cat and I don’t play well with others.” Greenleaf said. “Oh, trust me, no one would confuse you for a cuddly animal.” Snow sneered at the witch. Greenleaf glares at her, making Snow turn to the other two. “Bigby, Sonya….this is an order. Burn the tree.”

Greenleaf runs in front of the tree and confesses. “No! Look, look, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you…Crane was here, he was here and he left. He went to the Pudding n’ Pie to try to use my ring on the girls over there to get information.”

“What does the ring do?”, Sonya asked her.

“He thinks it’s the Ring of Dispel….you know, that it will pierce the protection around the girls’ speech. He says pulling the truth out of them will prove his innocence. It won’t, though….damned thing lost its power decades ago.”, Greenleaf informed.

“I’m sorry, but….we still can’t let you keep the tree. It wouldn’t be right after what’s happened.” Snow said. “Guys?”

“Please, Sheriff...Deputy….”, Greenleaf begs, looking at them sadly. “We’re not burning the tree.”, Sonya says.

“Today is your lucky day, Greenleaf. I’m hiring you as the Business Office’s newest witch in residence.” Bigby said.

“Bigby!”, Snow shouted in disbelief.

“The witches over there will keep her out of trouble, and–and we have a glamour shortage as it is. It makes the most sense, Snow.”, Bigby explained.

“Snow, people are out there without glamours. If anything, she can help us since apparently giving glamours aren’t working without her help. Because Toad still hasn’t gotten his, right?”, Sonya asked Bigby. “Just because you’re disappointed with Crane’s actions, doesn’t mean we have to punish her for his bullshit.”

She turns to Greenleaf. “You’re working with the other witches.”, she says, finally and walks to the door. “Don’t expect me to bow down to your queen over here.”, Greenleaf said to her. Bigby sighs, walking next to Sonya. “Don’t think for a second that this is over.” Snow threatened, following the other two.

“So what, are moving trucks gonna show up here or something?”, Greenleaf asked. “Something like that.”, Snow said. “We’ll call you.”, Bigby says and opens the door and lets Sonya and Snow out first before he leaves.

The cab pulls up to the curb of the Pudding n’ Pie, and hurriedly, Sonya and Bigby climb out. “I suppose you two can handle this. Get Crane and bring him back to the Woodlands.” Snow ordered before rolling the window up and letting the cab drive off.

“For fuck’s sake…”, Sonya grumbles. Bigby looked over and saw a familiar car. “That’s Crane’s car.”, he said, catching her attention. “Let’s go.”, she says, rushing to the door.

“No, it’s nothin’ you need to concern yourself with. I don’t think so, at least.”, they hear Georgie say pacing and talking on the phone. Georgie sees the two and rolls his eyes.

“Shit. Hold on.” He said to the phone and he removed the phone from his ear. “What do you want, Sheriff? Decided you wanted a taste of the wares?"

He glanced at Sonya with a smirk. "Oh, I see…come to audition your bitch.” Before Bigby could retaliate, Sonya socked him square in his nose. “We don’t have time for bullshit, Georgie.”, she growled.

“Tell me what you know! Now!” Crane’s voice shouts from the dressing room. Sonya and Bigby glare at Georgie, who gives a wavering shrug.

Sonya shoulder checks him as they rush to the door. “Hey! You can’t just go in there!” Georgie shouts after them, getting ignored.

They see Crane shaking Nerissa by her shoulders as he shouts. “Tell me who did it! Just tell me who did it, I know you know!”

“Mr. Crane, please, she can’t help–”

“I know you know what the plan is.”, Crane yells at Nerissa. Bigby glares at Crane, his teeth bared. “I won’t be held accountable for this!” Crane shouts. “I can’t-I can’t–I’m sorry, I-” Nerissa said, panicking.

Bigby storms up to Crane, spins him around and grasps the front of his shirt, raising his right hand into a fist. “Oh my God! Bigby!”, Crane exclaims, surprised to see him. “Wait!!”, Sonya yelled at Bigby. He looks over at her then lets Crane go.

Crane steps back, his hands raised. “I-I didn’t do anything! I promise you, I didn’t do anything! These girls— th-th-the girls, they’ll back me up, I j-just have to get this stupid ring working, that’s all!”, Crane explained, shaking his right hand that had a ring on his ring finger. “They can’t talk because of that spell, but once this ring gets through, I’ll know what’s going on and this whole thing will be over.”

“Th-That’s all, please. I’m innocent, completely, completely innocent!”, Crane exclaims. Bigby rolled his eyes and slapped Crane, leaving a large, red handprint on his face.

Crane cowers back and yells, “W-Wait, I’ll show you!” He raises his arm while Bigby holds him back, effortlessly. “Damn you, c'mon! Please! Tell me who killed her!”, Crane shouts as he points his arm towards Nerissa.

“My lips are sealed.”, Nerissa replied as Vivian held her. Crane crumbles to the ground and begins to weep in sadness and fear. “How long?”, Sonya asked Crane. “W-what?”, Crane asked, looking up at her. “How long has this been going on?”, she growled out her question. “Far too long...” Crane replied, looking away.

“But–I didn’t kill those women, Bigby, please, I had nothing, nothing to do with that. I just—I-I just….Oh God…”, Crane cries. “We found the photos of you and Lily.” Bigby said, crossing his arms with a glare. “I know, I know, but that’s—that was–I just…” Crane whimpers then he looks up at Sonya.

“I just love you, Sonya! I love you, I love you, and—and I’m sorry I’m not a mundy, okay!?”, Crane grovels as she stepped back. “I’m sorry I don’t do things that Mundies do! Its just- You’re so different and innocent! To know you were a half fable excited me, and I-”

Sonya had to stop herself from gagging. “I’m gonna stop you right there. What made you think that I’d ever get with an old creep like you!? And secondly, you’re not so different from Mundy men. This stalking, the pretending, they do that too. You’re fucking disgusting.” Her words made her lower his head.

She squatted down to glare at him. He looks her in the eyes for a moment then turns away to weep silently, making her eyes widen. She stood back up. “Bigby…I don’t think he did it."

"You’re shitting me, right?”, Bigby asked, shocked and confused. “The guy’s a complete coward. Look at him. Do you really think this man-" She paused. "Lemme rephrase that. Do you really think this child murdered these women?”, she asked him as she pointed at the sad man.

“He’s not…he wouldn’t be brave enough….”, she said, glaring at Crane.

“We’ve been chasing this guy ….why now?”, Bigby asked. “That’s my point. He sent us on this wild goose chase, pretended not to know anything, and cowered away the entire time. If he really was a stone cold murderer, he wouldn’t be here freaking out.”, she said.

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Did you see how he was acting when you showed up?” Vivian asked her.

“Yeah, I get it–”

“Why would he even come here if he wasn’t covering his tracks?” Vivian asked.

“He thought he was being framed. And maybe he is.”, Sonya replied.

“This fuck-up knows more than he’s saying.”, Bigby said. “I don’t! I don’t!” Crane shouts. “Yes, okay, he probably does. But there’s a difference between being involved and being the guy who did it.”, Sonya says, shaking her head.

“Okay, but if Crane didn’t kill Faith and Lily, I’m sorry, but who the hell did?”, Vivian asked. “This whole thing is bigger than Crane. He wouldn’t have the stones to send the Tweedles after us. Somebody else is involved.”, Bigby said. “Well, shit.”, Vivian mutters.

“I didn’t intend for any of this to get so–”

She took a deep breath. “Ichabod Crane. You are under arrest for disrupting Fabletown's funds and the suspicion of murder. You’ll have the right to counsel and the right to depose witnesses. But as of right now, you’re coming with us."

“I don’t wanna hear your weak ass apologies. You’ve done so much screwed shit, you’re lucky you’re not down that damn well!”, Sonya yelled.

He looks at her fearfully then lowers his gaze to the floor. “We’re not going to kill you. So quit your shivering.”, she growled.

Sonya glanced at her boss. “Easy, Bigby. We don’t need the princess to have another thing to hold above our heads.”, Sonya rolls her eyes, making Bigby glance at her with a softened frown.

"You are extraordinarily lucky Miss Blaze was here to save your ass. Because if it was up to me….I’d have your head swinging from the Washington Bridge.”, Bigby snarled.

“You think…she has what it takes…to run that office? You think I didn’t make sacrifices? I made sacrifices! And Miss Snow won’t be in that chair one minute before she has to give up something she cares about just so the wheels don’t fall off the goddamn wagon.” Crane stands up and continues to fuss. “I did the best that I could with what I had. And the town took everything it could out of me. If I maybe took a little something back in return…then so be it. I have no regrets.”

Sonya frowned. "You took more than just a little. You went to a man who now gives you no choice but to pay him back or people get killed. That's not a little thing." Crane's eyes widened. "But-"

“Yeah, and see, the thing of it is….” Bigby starts, and grabs Crane’s collar, pulling him closer to him. “We’re also better at this than you are.” He turns Crane towards the door and pushes him forward.

They went through the side door, out to the alley. Sonya sighs, pulling her hood over her head as it was raining again. Crane walks out after her until Bigby shoves him off the stairs. Crane falls on the ground. He stood up and dusted himself off and muttered. “Stupid girls and their preposterous schemes….”

Sonya paused to glare at him over her shoulder. “You got something you wanna share?” Crane cowers and walks in front of her and Bigby. Suddenly, a car drives up and blocks their way out. The three of them looked at the cars in shock and stopped as the car started to slowly drive towards them.

“Back. Now.”, Bigby says as he holds his arm out, pushing her behind him. She walked around the other way with the two men only for two more cars to come up and block them.

They stop as the Tweedles climb out of one car while a woman, with short black hair with red highlights, climbs out of another car.

“Hi. Whatcha got there?”, The woman asked in a childish tone. Sonya's eyes began to glow a scarlet hue as the Tweedles pulled out their shotguns. Bigby growled lowly, watching them intently.

The woman pulls out a gun and loads it. “Look, it’s recently come under our attention that you’re, how shall I put it, attempting to claim what is the personal property of the Crooked Man.” She gives them a slight smile. “He’s about yea high, a hundred and twenty odd pounds, pissed his sheets until he was fourteen….sound familiar?”

“I haven’t told them anything!”, Crane cried in fear. “Not now, not now, shhhhh, the grown ups are talking.”, the woman says, mockingly.

“Who are you?”, Bigby asked her.

“No, no, no, no, no, that’s not how this works.”, The woman said, mockingly as if she were talking to children. “How this works is you are going to walk Crane over here….like a good doggie.”

“It wasn’t my fault!”, Crane exclaims. Sonya growled and punched him in the stomach. “You shut your fuckin’ mouth.” She steps up to Bigby’s side. “You’re interfering with official Fabletown business. Step aside.”

“Tweedle Dee, what’s the, uh, y'know, that thing the mundies call me?”, she hummed. “Wh–What?”, Dee asked in fear. “My nickname. You know what I’m talking about.” The woman said as she gave a side glance at Dee.

“Uh…Bloody Ma–”

“Bloody Mary, that’s it. Thank you.” Mary said, making Sonya’s eyes widen.

“And do you know why they call me that? Because some of them, they think it’s funny to have their little sleepovers and go into their little bathrooms and say my name five times in the mirror." She frowns.

"They find it less funny when I actually show up and feed their lungs to the family dog.” She lets out a small bark and smirks evilly at Sonya and Bigby.

Sonya gritted her teeth, “This night just can’t get any better.”, she muttered.

“And I do that for a hobby. Like golf, to relax. This is my job, I like my job. So think about what I’m gonna do to you, your girl, your princess and the rest of your friends if you don’t hand over the sockpuppet now!”, Mary said to Bigby.

“This was really the wrong day to try and pull this shit.”, Bigby growled.

“I told you he’d never just give him up.”, Dee smiled at Mary. Mary glared at him then looked back at the other three and shrugs. “Fuck it.” She walks away while the Tweedles step forward and raise their guns.

“Oh boy…”, Sonya muttered and was suddenly pushed out of the way once the Tweedles started shooting, missing Bigby purposefully before loading him with buckshots.

Bigby was pushed back until his back hit the wall and he slumped down. The Tweedles stopped to smirk at each other much to Sonya’s horror. She teared up. “B-Bigby?”, she whispered.

Bigby moves his head as he lets out a groan. He opens his eyes which were now red as he slowly gets up on his feet, shocking the twins. Bigby begins walking towards the Tweedles as they fire multiple bullets at him until one bullet hits Bigby's side, making him lean against a box as he regains his composure.

He falls to his knees only to get up, now transformed as a gray wolf. Bigby reaches to his left and grabs the dumpster and throws it at the twins. They fall and dodge the dumpster and get back up while Bigby goes to the right and grabs the high voltage container and throws it at them.

They dodge that as well and Bigby uses that as a chance to charge at them and jumps on Dum. He shoves his clawed hand into Dum’s chest and slams him in the air conditioner box multiple times. Dee shoots Bigby in the back, making him slowly turn to him and drop Dum.

Bigby back hands him hard and grabs him to look over at Mary, who was leaning against one of the cars with a smirk. Bigby throws Dee at her but she moves, causing Dee to hit his car. Mary stands there unfazed.

Dum goes to hit Bigby with his gun but Bigby grabs the gun, throwing it away. He grabs Dum and slams him against the wall and holds him up.

“Fuck….you….Wolf….”, Dum gargled as Bigby pondered about killing him. He lowers the Tweedle harshly and looks over at Sonya with a solemn expression. She looked at him, shocked that he stopped.

He opened his mouth but a shocked look crossed his face as he was shot. He felt a searing pain on his side. Sonya whimpered to see him stumble to the ground, glancing over the attacker. It was Mary who shot him, wearing a large grin on her face. “Bigby!”, Sonya yelled, in a panic.

“It was a good show, but, you know. It just didn’t know when to end.”, Mary shrugs as she puts her gun away then walks to the limo, opens the back door and pulls out Woody’s axe.

Sonya’s eyes widened and illuminated brighter as Bloody Mary walked over to Bigby. She pulled out a chain to whip at her, only for Mary to dodge the end that hit the limo behind her.

She rushed to stop her from getting close to him. Bloody Mary smiles wildly, clashing her forearm with Sonya’s. “Look at you, protecting your poor little puppy.”

Sonya growled as her face melted into a skull, the rain peppering her flamed engulfed head into steam. “You’re not touching him.” Bigby’s eyes widened to see his deputy shielding him. “S-Sonya…”

Sonya pushed her and sent a punch towards her face. Mary dodged and pulled out her gun and shot Sonya in her thigh, hardly fazing her at the time. Mary tried shooting her again, but Sonya caught her hand, preventing her from shooting at all. She tried swinging the axe to her side but Sonya caught her hand a little late, causing the axe to gash her side a bit.

Sonya winces before she kicks Mary’s knee, making her drop to the ground in pain for a moment before tackling Sonya and breaking her arm, causing her to let out a yell of pain.

She growled in pain, not wanting to move her bent arm, watching as Bloody Mary picked up the axe and walked over to Bigby.

“You know, you wouldn’t think silver bullets would work on anything but a pure werewolf, but…as it turns out….that’s just not the case. Right. Wolfie?”, Mary says, laughing as she places the axe on her shoulder.

Sonya looked into Bigby distant but pained eyes and turned over to grab Mary’s ankle, heating her hand up to burn the woman’s skin. Anything to stop her from killing him...

She looked down at her kicking her over on her back and stomped Sonya’s face, breaking her nose. Sonya chokes on her blood, coughing some out to breathe as much as she could.

“I mean….hey, look, I know it sounds ridiculous, but….really guys….Can you argue with these results?”, she asked as she kicked Bigby to lay him on his back. “Cause I know I can’t.” She aimed the axe at Bigby’s neck then raised the axe high over her head.

“WAIT! STOP!”, Sonya yells and coughs. “Fuck…” Mary looks over at her as Sonya glares at her. “Just….take him, okay? Take Crane.”, she coughed out. “Just stop. Please.”

“Mmmm….yeah. I don’t know.”, Mary said as she pretended to think, before placing the axe on her shoulder again. “Sonya….mmph–don’t….”, Bigby groans, stretching his arm a little to reach her.

Mary notices a certain hand motioning her to come. “It’s your lucky day, kid. The Crooked Man says it’s okay with him.”, Mary said, smiling. “Bigby.”, Sonya whispered, looking at him. “I’m sorry…”

“Hello, Ichabod. Got a stomach ache?”, Mary asked Crane as he tried to sneak away. He stops, turns around and walks towards Mary. “Oh, and just between us girls….Crane ain’t no killer.”. Mary says as Crane walks up to her.

“I mean, look at this face. Couldn’t stick a pig if his life depended on it.” She grabs Crane’s ear, pulls his face close to hers to give him a grin then lets him go. Crane begins to walk to the limo as Mary watches him.

Before she leaves, she turns to face Sonya and Bigby. “Kinda like your boyfriend here. Too pussy to ruin a Tweedle’s day.”, she says, walking up to Bigby and stomps her foot down on his left arm.

Bigby lets out a roar of pain, making Sonya glare at Mary for causing him more pain. She looks to see a bone sticking out of his arm and bares her bloody teeth at Mary.

“Well, this is gonna be….a beautiful relationship we have with you guys. Really. I mean it. I’m jazzed about it.” Mary bows.

“Out with the old….in with the new. Long live the Queen.”, she said as she walked away from the broken duo.

She turned her head to look over her shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll be in touch. See you around.” She salutes and gets inside of the limo and the two cars drive away.

14 notes · View notes

yayeetsonny · 4 years

Text

“I’m sorry, What?”~ USWNT x Baby Reader

Prompt: Team finds out Baby R has a girlfriend.

Requested by: @rainbowpants27

I know you requested this ages ago, sorry about the wait!

No ones PRO//

The players on the USWNT were some of the best in the world, there was no doubt about that. On the field they were a force to be reckon with and when doing interviews or press conferences they made sure to maintain a certain degree of professionalism. Off the field and away from flashing cameras and microphones was a different story…

Their fanbase often knows just how crazy they can be and they often exhibit “crackhead” behavior. The age range of the team is from 36 to the youngest at 17. When it comes to their young teammates they get extremely protective and sometimes a little nosy. One such example of this was the day they found out their youngest teammate Y/N L/N had a girlfriend that she hid from them for an entire year.

Alyssa PRO//

I was heading down to the bus because we had practice soon and they told all of us to start boarding. When I got there I noticed that almost everyone was there, everyone except the youngest Y/N.

“Hey, guys?”

“Yeah Lys?”

“Where’s Y/N?”

Everyone stopped talking and began looking around for her but when they realized she was no where to be found they started to worry.

“Has anyone seen her today?”

“Yeah, just before I left our room.” Abby said

“Was she okay when you left?” Tierna asked worriedly

“Yeah, she said she’d be down in a sec and to not wait for her.”

“How long ago was that?”

“10 minutes?”

“We have to leave in 5, I’m going to look for her.” I said throwing my stuff on the bus, getting the card to her room and sprinting back into the hotel.

I made it to the floor our rooms were on and used the key card Abby had given me to open the door. When I did I heard Y/N talking quietly to someone, she didn’t seem to know I was there but what I heard her say next had me extremely worried.

“No, I can’t tell the team.”

The was a pause before she spoke again.

“Because they’ll freak out and get all protective.”

Another even longer pause.

“I just… I can’t. I- ”

“Y/N?” I decided to interrupt and make my presence known.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard me and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I gotta go, sorry!” She rushed out before quickly hanging up on the other person.

“Hey Alyssa! What’s up?”

“I just came up here to see if you were okay since we have to leave in 5 minutes and Abby said you told her you’d be down over 10 minutes ago.”

“Oh, yeah sorry about that. I just had to make a quick phone call.”

“To who?” I asked as we started running to the elevators to get back down to the bus.

“Just a friend.” She said a little too quickly

I Just nodded in acknowledgement as we made it down just in time and got on the bus.

“Jesus, there you guys are. What took so long? We almost left without you.” Alex said from her seat next to Kelley.

“Just got caught up on the phone.” Y/N replied

I could tell she was nervous and so could everyone else, she was avoiding eye contact and fidgeting quite a lot.

“Everything okay?” Christen asked concerned

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Everything is fine.”

We all let it go after that but I knew everyone was still sending worried glances her way. I needed to tell the others about the conversation I overheard and we would need to find a way to get her to tell us what was going on. Normally I would stay out of things and mind my business but when it concerned our youngest player, someone who I considered a little sister to me those rules were null and void. I knew the rest of the team felt the same, the older players even more so.

We got to the practice facility after a short ride and after getting off and going to the locker room to deposit my stuff I went out onto the field and joined the circle of players that had gathered in the middle.

“Are you guys worried about Y/N too or is that just me?” Abby asked

Everyone said that they too were worried and began talking about what could possibly be going on, some imagining some really bad scenarios and others reminding everyone that she was a nervous kid and that whatever it was, was probably not as bad as they were thinking. I had stayed quiet for the most part but finally decided to tell everyone what I heard earlier.

“Guys wait. Okay so before I tell you what I am going to, I need everyone to take a deep breath and let me finish talking before asking questions, okay?”

They all agreed and then I told them about what I overheard her say on the phone.

“And you’re sure she said “I can’t tell the team.”?” Mal asked

“Yes positive.”

“And you absolutely sure she said we’d “Freak out. And get all protective?” She said those exact words?” Alex asked

“Yes, guys I swear that’s word for word what she said to whoever was on the other line.”

“Well now I’m even more concerned.” Tobin said

We all knew that sometimes when something bad was happening or she was in trouble at school she didn’t tell us right away. Her home life wasn’t the greatest so our reasons for concern that she was keeping something from us were understandable.

“Okay, everyone listen up.” Carli said, using her “Captain voice”

“I know you’re all worried, and so am I but we have to let her come to us and we can not… I repeat can. Not. Jump to conclusions. Understood?”

We all agreed and went about our usual practice routines. Y/N emerged for the locker room shortly after Carli finished talking and joined the circle on the field.

“What did I miss, guys?” She said completely oblivious to what we had been talking about.

“Not much kid, just asking anyone if they had seen my shin guards.” Carli said, ruffling her hair.

“Come on, kid, come do some passing drills with me.” Alex said whisking her away.

We continued on through practice and the younger players were goofing around with Y/N when given the chance, she seemed more at ease than before. When we finished and headed back to the hotel we all decided to do a game night in Abby and Y/N’s room.

After much convincing Vlatko and the other coaching staff agreed to let us order pizza and eat other junk foods. “but this counts as your cheat day for this week.” He told us and we agreed that, that was a fair sacrifice to make. We ordered a bunch of pizzas and sent Megan, Becky and Allie on a snack run. When they returned that brought with them everyones favorites, ranging from candy, chocolate and ice cream to different kinds. Of chips and cookies. The hotel staff probably thought we were having a party and regret letting 23 teenagers/childlike adults into their hotel.

We played all of the stereotypical party games such as spin the bottle, truth or dare, never have I ever and so on. We also split into different groups to play cards or board games, making bets on who would win or lose the most and some also took to playing Mario kart and other games on the Nintendo Switch Tobin brought along. All in all it was pretty fun night but I could help but still worry and wonder about Y/N. I noticed that while she was having a lot of fun, she was also spending a significant amount of time looking at her phone, sometimes she would get this really big cheesy grin on her face and other times she would look slightly worried or anxious, it was slightly confusing and I could tell Ali and Ashlyn had caught onto it too.

Things took a turn however when Lindsey noticed Y/N lost in her phone and she snatched it out of her hand.

“Hey! Give that back!”

“Who are you talking to that’s more important than us?”

“No one. Just give me back my phone.”

“No, don’t think I will.” She said while laughing, getting up to run away.

“Lindsey! Give it back!”

Y/N got up and jumped on her back trying to wrestle it out of her hands. At first we thought it was funny but when we saw that Y/N was actually upset we started to try to get them to break it up.

“Guys, stop it!”

“Then tell Lindsey to give me back my phone!”

“I just wanna know who you’re talking to!”

“None of your fucking business Horan!”

Becky, myself, Julie and Tobin all stood in between them as Alex, Christen, Mal and Rose pulled Y/N away and Crystal, Emily, Jessica, and Megan did the same for Lindsey. Everyone else just stood and waited.

“Everyone needs to settle down. Now.” Carli said leaving no room for anyone to argue.

“Okay but she fucking- ”

“Hey watch your mouth.” Alex chided

“No! She took my phone and I want it back.”

“Y/N, calm down. Take a deep breath.” Christen said

She and the others were still holding Y/N back, Alex had a firm grip on her waist so she couldn’t go anywhere and everyone else stood in front of her, trying to block her from seeing Lindsey. Jessica and that group were doing the same on the other side of the room.

“Lindsey, give her back her phone.” I said sternly

“Why? You were the one who told us about her weird phone call and you know she’s been being weird and secretive all day.”

“What are you talking about?” Y/N asked

“Oh, so you weren’t having some super secret phone call earlier with someone?”

“I mean… I wouldn’t say it was “super secretive.” How much of that did you hear Lys?”

“Just the part where you said you “can’t tell the team.” And that we’d “Freak out and get all protective.”

A look of realization took over her face and she slowly pushed her way out of Alex’s grip and passed the group of people to get to Lindsey.

“Please give me my phone. I’ll tell you guys the truth.” She said

Lindsey complied and when Y/N had her phone again she took a deep breath and said

“Okay now before I go any further I want you all to know that I am okay and nothing bad is going on. I promise. I also would appreciate if you waited to ask you questions until after I’m finished talking.”

We all nodded in agreement and she began ti tell us what that phone call was really about.

“Okay, I have a girlfriend. Now you guys didn’t know about it because I hid it from everyone except my really close friend back home and some of my cousins. We’ve been dating for the past year and I said I couldn’t tell you guys because I know you’ll go crazy and want to have the talk with her.”

There was a beat of silence before Kelley was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I have a girlfriend.” she repeated

“Our baby has a girlfriend! Holy shit!”

After her outburst several other people began talking over each other.

“No way! Dude what the heck?”

“How did you guys meet?”

“Did you ever plan to tell us?!”

“Can we see pictures?”

Y/N PRO//

“Okay, Okay! Guys, take it easy. Let her breath.” Alex said coming up to hug me from behind.

“To answer you questions, Yes it’s true. We meet at one of my school soccer games, yes I was planning to tell you eventually and yes you can see pictures.”

“You know, you don’t have to let us in on your relationship just yet. If you’re not ready that’s okay.” Ashyln said

“No, it’s okay. I was talking to my girlfriend today and she was wanting me to finally tell you guys and I knew she was right but I wasn’t sure how and I was nervous because of that. But I’m okay now.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

I ended up telling them everything from the day we met, to how long it took for us to start dating, who kissed who first and everything in between. I felt relieved that they now knew about my relationship and was glad not to have to hide it anymore.

“Can we get a name?” Sonnett asked

“Yeah, who is this lucky lady?” Mal joined in, everyone else following

“Her name is Y/GF/N.”

“Oooo. I love her already.” Julie said giggling.

“The real important question is... how is she in bed?”

“Okay, nope! absolutely not!” Ali said slapping Sonnett upside the head

“What?! Curious minds would like to know.”

“For both your guy’s sake, you better tell me you aren’t having sex yet.” Alex said sternly

I was beet red now and the younger players were laughing at me and teasing me while the older ones looked ready to kill.

“No, no we haven’t had sex.”

Several of them let out big sighs of relief while the others looked disappointed.

“Well, when you do, I want an in detail account of everything.” Sonnet said, dodging another head slap, this time from Julie

“Emily!”

“What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is, she’s far too young for that.” Alex said pulling me into her and covering my head

“I’m turning 18 next month!” I said indignantly

“Doesn’t matter, you’re still a baby.”

“Well once she’s 18 she’s, technically...”

“No.” All the veterans of the team said at the same time.

“Sorry kid, guess you’ll be a virgin for your whole life.”

“Damn right she will.” Julie said.

“Guyssss” I whined.

“Aw, we’re only kidding kiddo. You’ll only have to a virgin until you’re 30.” Ali said laughing when I pouted at her.

We decided to send a group selfie to her to tell her that the team knew and the text I sent along with it read “Surprise! You have 22 “moms” and sisters dying to meet you! They love you already!”

She responded quickly by saying

“I’ll prepare myself for the talk then haha. Tell them I can’t wait and I hope we meet soon! I love you!”

I spent the rest of the night showing the girls our best (and worst) pictures together, silly videos we took and just overall gushing about my lady. I was a little worried they would ambush her when they met her in person but I also knew that they were all super happy for me and excited to meet the girl I love.

Sorry for any mistakes, mostly unedited.

-N

#uswnt #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #alyssa naeher #carli lloyd #christen press #alex morgan #tobin heath #emily sonnett #mal pugh #abby dahlkemper #rose lavelle #megan rapinoe #ashlyn harris #ali krieger

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hazbincalifornia · 3 years

Text

Soiled Tea

Chapter 23: Blitzo gets home and contemplates things.

Warnings: As always, mpreg, and brief mentions of underage drinking. Generally shitty thoughts about babies.

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Ao3 link

“Blitz.” There was a pounding on his door, and it took a few seconds to process that it was Loona. “You’ve been in there for like three hours. The fuck happened?”

“Piss off!” Blitzo called back, scrolling mindlessly down Voxtagram with only a pause to scrub at his sore eyes. The phone buzzed with another text from Stolas, and he swiped it up without looking like the last twelve. A growl rumbled from behind at the door, and the scratch of Loona’s claws dragged down the wood.

“Fine, don’t tell me! It’s not like I care either way, I just want to know if you’re going to start bitching at me over whatever it is!” Loona’s weight creaked the floorboards as she padded away from the door, mere moments before Blitzo’s stomach growled.

Oh. Right. He hadn’t eaten properly in days, and the little fucker was going to be feeling that.

...It’d be easier to starve the bastard if it wouldn’t hurt him too. He only realized that his fingers had dug into his stomach when the red glow fluttered in and out, and his teeth gritted as he pushed himself off the bed, the creak reminding him how badly he needed a new mattress and frame. Stolas sleeping on it the other day couldn’t have helped, and it was going to collapse under him one of these days. There was probably some kind of metaphor in there he didn’t feel like puzzling through at the moment.

Moping later. Food now. He was pretty sure they’d stocked up a few days ago, so unless Loona had eaten everything since he’d been out, he could make some cup noodles and curl back up on the bed in peace. Loona was draped over the couch with screams and gorey splatters echoing from the TV when he exited his room, and she raised an eyebrow at seeing him mere moments after he’d told her to piss off. Blitzo sighed.

“Look, I just want to bury my sorrow in some cheap-ass junk right now, got it?”

She pointed to the freezer. “Try the strawberry scoop.”

“Thanks, dear.” First he needed to get the noodles, though. Blitzo opened the cabinet, reaching for the cups before brushing against a small bag. Why did he have a bag in the…?

His fingers froze, touching the edge of the packet- it was Stolas’s tea from their café meeting, tied with a pretty little bow. He’d mostly been over the nausea hump by the time he’d gotten it so it had been stuffed in the back of the cabinet, and right now, it was leaned against a partially-opened hot chocolate packet that must have been years old. It made the wood smell both moldy and chocolatey-fresh. Over the last few weeks, the powder had seeped into the mix of the tea- and probably ruined it too. There was an ant curled up in front of the fancy little bag which was almost certainly dead, flat on its back with legs curled heavenward.

The thing was moving again, but when he smacked the side of his stomach, it turned over a little with a shudder and stopped. Progress.

His hands were shaking by the time he pulled the noodles out from next to the tea (and next to the hot chocolate, and some expired crackers, and the little baggie of rat poison he’d borrowed from Millie and Moxxie’s closet) and began boiling the water to prepare them the same way he’d done hundreds of times before. No thinking required. The TV droned on in the living room, but the volume was low and he could still hear the water dripping from the leak over the fridge and his own heartbeat.

Casually, he leaned back against the countertop as he waited for the water to soak in, then realized that angle made the bump stick out even more, and also that he’d never actually taken off Stolas’s shirt. The knot in the back was thick and hard on his back, and it pressed on his protruding vertebrae against the granite. He tapped the end of his tail next to a stray protein bar wrapper on the countertop before sweeping it towards the trash. It missed, fluttering down to the dirty floor like a dying moth. Blitzo scooped up the cup, stabbing the top with a fork before bringing it back to his room and turning on a video of some idiot screaming at video games to drown out whatever thoughts couldn't be suppressed otherwise.

Loona didn’t bother him for the rest of the night, but he could hear her slam the fridge’s door shut and pop open a can of something around ten. He peeled off the shirt and went to bed.

__________________

An hour after going to bed, he realized that the sex-sweat stuck to his skin was itchy, sticky, and smelled like shit. He managed to last approximately fifteen more minutes before dragging himself off the bed and crawling into the shower, flipping on the water and twisting it to scalding. He didn’t bother to scrub anything down, simply letting the pounding water pelt into his body until the caked sweat slid off like a bug shedding its skin.

Loona was still in the living room, playing some kind of racing game. They made eye contact for a few seconds and she sighed, chucking him a chocolate bar that she’d fished out of the cushions at some point during the night when he’d been in his room.

Sure, she couldn’t actually eat it herself anyway, but the gesture was nice, even though his teeth felt kind of fuzzy when he flopped back on the bed again after pulling on a worn-out band tee that had become a crop top at some point even before the pregnancy.

__________________

The kid was moving. Of course they were. It wasn’t like he could ask for sleep or for them to allow him to pretend they didn’t exist for a few hours, could he? They were just a lump of stupid meat, they didn't know any better than being an annoying pest that their daddy couldn't stand. He screamed into the pillow again. It didn’t help.

__________________

Maybe he could join the circus again. He had new, better jokes now. Like his life. (That one would have gotten a laugh, or at least it would have with a crowd that wasn’t drunk off its ass- or maybe that would have been the exact audience for it. Kids were never drunk enough, and the ones whose parents shoved bottles at them to get them to shut up just puked everywhere. Their taste buds weren't developed enough yet, it just tasted like piss half the time before you got used to it. He still remembered the smell of the cheesy chips incident.)

__________________

Had Stolas planned this all along? He’d sure as fuck seemed to think that Blitzo had already known what the deal was, and maybe he’d wondered a little, but come on, the guy had been so excited, anybody would have figured that he wanted to be the one to raise it. Babies were (literally) shitty little leeches on the lives of whoever was unlucky enough to pop them out, but Stolas had been so pumped for another kid, obviously he’d wanted to raise it. This was entirely his fault. This was entirely his fault. Blitzo was a smart guy, he'd find some way to get out of this. He'd made it this far, hadn't he?

__________________

Could he get out of this? He tried to remember exactly how the deal had been phrased, but then realized that Stolas would probably yank the book back if he did manage to find some way to kill the thing without offing himself. Well, shit. That’d suck, and he’d probably lose Moxxie and Millie in the bargain, and then him and Loona would get chucked out on the concrete and have to forage for scraps until they managed to mug some particularly wealthy sinner. Could you pass on syphilis through bites? Loonie’d probably know. It was something to keep in mind as a potential threat.

__________________

Did orphanages do speed dial? No, Stolas would find it somehow. He probably had some kind of magic tracking device for occasions like this.

__________________

God damn he needed a better mattress. He could still feel the indent where Stolas had been if he rolled over just right, and he smacked at it until it felt like the rest of the bed.

It didn’t actually help that much, but at least when one spot got hot, he could roll over a little to the cooler half without sinking in.

__________________

What would it even look like? Would it be kind of cute or some mutant monstrosity? Both its dads were hot, so it would have to have something going for it if it wasn’t just some horrible moaning mess of feathers and patchy skin.

He hadn’t really minded the thought of being, like, an uncle or some shit. There for the fun parts, popping in like twice a month to jingle keys above its face and teach it to play paintball. If Barbie had squeezed something out after fucking around when they were still a duo act he could have dealt with that as long as they didn’t have to sleep in the same room- he didn’t really mind kids that much in small doses. They could be fun little chaotic monsters, even though they were judgmental as shit and smelled fear.

With this, though, he couldn’t just hand it back when he got bored, and he always, always got bored or scared or- fuck, not thinking about that.

He would try scrolling Voxtagram again, but he came across an ad for maternity wear before trying to go to sleep the first time and nearly chucked the phone.

__________________

The only thing that kept him from rolling off the bed and grabbing a hard drink to knock him out, baby be damned, was the fact that he’d found a spot that almost was comfortable in the sheets now soaked with sweat again. Unfortunately, the clock said it was 5:13 AM.

__________________

The alarm blared directly in Blitzo’s ear and he whapped it with a pillow, slamming it off the bedside table and into the floor. It was definitely broken now from the horrid cracking noise, and he groaned, scrubbing at his eyes. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."

“Morning, sleeping ugly,” Loona said as she gargled mouthwash in the sink. She had the bags under her eyes that probably matched his and said she’d been drinking more than usual last night. Smart kid. He’d picked one that he could be a parent to without changing diapers for a reason- so he could be supportive to an actual person and not just a screaming little meat-lump that couldn’t even drink or smoke yet. Maybe Stolas could make it magically grow up so he wouldn't have to deal with that shit? “You gonna finally tell me what the fuck happened? You look like you watched the apartment blow up and you smell even worse.”

“Come on, honey, I showered-” Blitzo cleared his throat. To be fair, sex-stink didn't come off that easily when you were going at it for days, and Loona had always had a real sensitive nose. “Daddy’s maaaaaybe got a little tiny problem,” he muttered, and she raised an eyebrow.

“And that problem is? Usually, you’ll be upfront about why you’re being a whiny-“

“Apparently,” he started, and his tone made Loona’s mouth snap shut, “Stolas thought I was going to be the one actually raising the little bastard.”

“What the fuck? You two didn’t clear this up months ago?” Her claws dug into the counter as one eye twitched, and a bit of mouthwash foam dripped off her chin.

“I didn’t think we’d have to! He wanted the thing, he’d take it, that made sense!” He dragged a hand down his face, and Loona leaned back against the sink, crossing her arms. The foam hit her top, soaking in next to the left tit.

“So get rid of it.”

“I can’t, he enchanted my guts.” Blitzo snatched a butter knife smeared with long-dried jam off the table and aimed it at his stomach- moments before it touched the skin, red flashed. His hand shot to the side, preventing anymore more than a slight scratch. “I don’t even want to know what’d happen if I tried to take a pill or something and puked it up. Explode, probably.”

Loona sighed. “Well, this is fuckin’ peachy.” She crossed the kitchen, grabbing some toast that popped up, pressing more down and dropping the plain bread with a pad of butter on the side on a plate in front of him. “Toss it at an orphanage.”

“It’s gonna be a freak, it’d probably just get mauled. Imp kids are vicious, especially orphans, they’ve all gotta fight for table scraps.”

“Why would you care?” Loona shifted a little on her seat. “You get rid of it either way.”

“Stolas’d kill me.”

“He likes your dick too much, he wouldn’t. I’m not changing diapers. Why can’t he take it again?”

“He thought his wife would shank the fucker. Considering she tried to stab me, it’s probably not that far off. I’ll find some way to-” he yawned. “To pawn it off or something. Maybe we find somebody that likes exotic pets.” His head swam with visions of a shiny, gilded cage containing a little feathered imp that wore sequins and hissed at anything that got too close. He stabbed at the butter. “I don’t want this either, alright?”

“But you went along with having it anyway, and with me, you wanted-” She cut herself off and drummed her fingers against her bicep. “This is your fuck-up, I’m just saying don’t drag me into it.”

“Very reassuring, thank you,” Blitzo muttered, sarcasm thick enough to gore like it was a pig. "We have any coffee?"

"I finished it the other night. We can go to that place on Sixth before work." Loona snatched her own toast as it popped up too quickly to actually have toasted any and stuffed it in her mouth plain, tearing off a bite and chewing in a way that was reminiscent of thoughtful. “I don’t think he’d be nice enough to let you die when it pops out, and you screw up all the time and haven’t completely ruined your life yet. You can figure shit out from there. Maybe we can sell them on the black market and move out of this fucking dump, or you can flutter your eyelashes and get him to change his mind. Worst comes to worst, it's sharing your room.”

“Thanks, Loonie,” Blitzo mumbled around a mouthful of bread. “Always know how to cheer me up.”

The phone buzzed, and he was about to ignore it again until he saw that it was from Millie.

“Still at Stolas’s or coming in to work today Blitz? Moxx and I miss you :)’

Blitzo wiped crumbs on his pants and groaned before typing back.

‘yeh im coimin back’

He added extra jam to the bread before shoving the rest in his mouth, and the kid kicked his bladder hard enough that he almost pissed himself right at the table.

Today was gonna be fuckin’ peachy.

#lotsa little headcanon-y sprinklings throughout here #shadow writes stuff #one time #helluva mpreg #helluva boss #mpreg #daddy blitzo #tagging the main tag because why not

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