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sexyandhedonistic · 1 year

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How to Become the Most Iconic It Girl in Your Reality

A Guide to Bring Your Dream Self to Life

“You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it.” Feeling is the Secret Ch. 1

I. Introduction ✧

Hello, my loves! This guide will help YOU become the person you have always dreamt of being as the starring role of your reality. We’re going to cover so much so I hope you’re ready to bid farewell to the person you used to be and get ready to transform into the most desirable version of yourself yet. Whether you aspire to be an it girl, it boy, it person or it god, whatever your preferred title is, if you desire to be other than what you currently are, this guide is for you.

Note: this was written through a law of assumption lens so if you’re looking for a glow up post that tells you to eat fruit and cut off toxic people this is not the one. If you haven’t read my guide about the law of assumption or are new to it I strongly recommend you read that one first before reading further, as everything written later on will make much more sense that way.

A. What’s to come.

The comprehensive purpose of this guide is to help you become the person you have always dreamt of being and to remind you that you no longer need to be unhappy with who you are because you get to create your own reality, meaning that you get to define yourself. Not your environment, not your peers, you. Your upbringing may have persuaded you of the fact that you are undeserving of anything you could ever desire, but you don’t need to go another day feeling insecure, unloved and miserable. Life is your creation. The days of you being confined to the image others have imposed unto you are a thing of the past now. I don’t know who you were before you opened this guide but that person isn’t you anymore. From this point on, you have been an icon from BIRTH.

B. Breaking down the terms “iconic” and “it”.

Before we start, let’s define what an iconic it girl is first.

To be iconic means to be impactful. What makes an icon an icon is the fact that they don’t live up to standards or expectations because they live by their own rules and are not afraid to deviate from the conventional. The difference between an icon and a non-icon is that icons aren’t all talk, they ARE about it.

“It” refers to a prominent and commendable quality in an individual that evokes intrigue and admiration, especially one that makes said individual spectacular or exceptional. The it factor is subjective because different qualities instigate intrigue across different people. In the case of this guide, the IT factor will ultimately be up to you to define.

If we fuse both terms together with the law of assumption in mind, an iconic it girl is one who’s in total control of her reality. She’s a sovereign, she’s above everything and everyone and nothing can cause her to waver in her conviction. She’s the center of the universe and nothing can ever challenge that thought in her head. She calls the shots and she does what she wants. An iconic it girl is a trend setter. She doesn’t follow trends nor standards, she creates them. Nobody tells her what she can or can’t do and nobody tells her who she is because she has an established conception of herself.

C. Why be an it girl?

It girls tend to be the girls you either want to be or be with because they seem to have it all: wealth, beauty, sex appeal, allure, social circle, relationship, achievements and/or an interesting lifestyle. You see these girls on social media and you covet the lives they lead but you feel suppressed by your current circumstances because reality conditions your desires. If you want to change your appearance, you must be rich and if you want to be rich, you must work hard. If you want to be extroverted, you must change your personality and if you want to change your personality, you must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the reality of life because life operates by logic. But, guess what? You are not limited to what we once accepted to be the “reality of life”. We are infinite beings capable of everything we could ever desire in this world. Anything someone else is or has can also be you/rs and in this guide I’ll explain how you can.

Now that we have established what an iconic it girl is and why we can aspire to be one, we will now proceed with HOW to do it and more importantly, where it all starts.

II. Conception ✧ of self.

“It is our conception of ourselves which frees or constrains us.” - No One To Change But Self

Self concept is how you see yourself in relation to the world and how you see the world in relation to you. All the assumptions you carry about the two comprise your conception of self, which as a result fashions the experiences you have in your world. From the way people treat you to the way you treat yourself, all of it has originated from your assumptions which harvested your state which has become part of your consciousness (what you know to be a fact at this very moment). Whether your goal is to manifest being an it girl or anything else, it always goes back to changing your self concept first, which is nothing more than a state.

A state is an attitude of mind comprised of beliefs (assumptions) and when we desire to change our self concept, we adjust our state of consciousness. You may not feel exceptional nor as if you have the it factor as of right now and that is credited to the contents of your state of consciousness. If you want to become an iconic it girl, you must first change your state into one of an it girl. How do you change states? Through feeling, by I AM.

A. I AM.

“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”- Your Faith Is Your Fortune Ch. 6

I AM is a declaration of self through what you are aware of being. You are incapable of speaking about yourself unless your statement begins with I AM. Manifesting becoming an it girl is not about acquiring something, it is about being the person who has that something through whatever comes after I AM:

I have money -> I AM [in the state of being] wealthy

I have perfect grades -> I AM [conscious of being] a stellar student

I have a partner -> I AM in a relationship

“Become identified with that character and feeling and you will be amazed how quickly you will realize your dream. The only sacrifice you are called upon to make, is to give up your present concept of self and appropriate the desire you want to express.”

B. EIYPO.

"Blind man sees the world objective to himself, something detached from himself. When man begins to awake he sees everything subjectively related; everything he meets is part of himself, and what he does not now understand, still he knows that it is related by affinity to some as yet unrealized force in his own being." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

Everyone is you pushed out accounts for the notion that whatever we think or assume of ourselves is pushed out into the world and reflected back to us. This means that the people around you will see you the way you see yourself and treat you accordingly. We manifest 24/7 through our established assumptions, so whether you have accepted as a fact that you are loved by everyone you meet or you aren’t very likable, your circumstances will evince that. However, that is not to say you are not entitled to feel upset when someone disrespects you. Although this may be a difficult truth to accept, the purpose of acceptance of it is to feel and realize that we are above what people say or how they treat us rather than to feel inferior because of it. So, how do we take this concept into consideration when we aim to become an it girl? We simply accept it as yet another facet of our realities that we are in control of. How do you get people to stop seeing you as the person you no longer want to be anymore? By changing self first. When you begin to see yourself as an it girl, the world will see you as one as well.

"There is no one to change but self. All you need to do to make men and women holy in this world is to make yourself holy. You are incapable of seeing anything that is unlovely when you establish within your own mind's eye the fact that you are lovely."- No One To Change But Self

III. Imagination ✧ Optimize your creative power.

“Everything in your world that you behold, though it appears without, it is within, in your imagination. And this wonderful imagination of yours is Christ Jesus. Imagination is the actual habitation of every created thing. No matter what you see in the world, it springs from your imagination. So that's where you go, that's the workshop, the garden of God.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision

A wonderfully comforting aspect of the law of assumption is that we all possess the inalienable gift that is to be able to grant upon ourselves whatever it is we desire to have, do or be. No matter what it is that you want, be it factual or fictional, existent or nonexistent, you can have anything. It is possible to become the person you have always wanted to be due to the lack of limitations in imagination. If you can think it, you can become it. Whether you desire to look like someone, have a relationship that mirrors the one in your favorite k-drama with your celebrity crush or be exactly like your comfort character, I could go on and on with examples of whatever it is you can have, do or be because when I tell you that you are a limitless being, I mean it wholeheartedly.

I must emphasize and drive this point home. All is possible in the world. Every possible desired life aspect you could ever fantasize about in your imagination exists because creation is finished. Whether it’s your dream home, career, income, accomplishments, possessions, relationship, friend group, physique, personality, lifestyle whatever it is you dream of having is possible to be conscious of because there are a myriad of states for us to choose from. That state already exists like a suit that is waiting for you to wear it until it becomes a natural part of your consciousness.

Because of this, it naturally makes sense to acknowledge that we no longer need to be neither humble nor jealous of another. If we know we can have absolutely anything in the world, even something already in the possession of another, why would we?

With our wonderful human imagination on our side, we can transcend the limitations that surround us. Whether you desire to get accepted into an ivy league university two years early with a 2.1 GPA or eat endlessly without gaining a single pound and jeopardizing your health, your limitless self is capable of becoming conscious of it and more, so let your imagination run free devoid of any restrictions when you define your it girl. The presentation of any circumstances do not and will never matter. To be is as simple as asking yourself whether or not you want to be it.

IV. Inspiration ✧ Defining your it girl.

Now we’re getting to the fun part of this post because you get to use your creative power: imagination. Remember a few sections ago when we discussed what the IT factor is? This is where you get to determine what IT is. Let me remind you again, your idea of what an it girl is is subjective, so it won’t be exactly like someone else’s definition. It girl is not a mold in which you are expected to fit into. Whether you want an active socialite nepo baby city life or a secluded pastry-making book-reading cottagecore life, doesn’t matter. This is all about who you desire to be. With that, let’s get down on how to determine what your it girl self looks like.

A. Who do you want to be like?

What qualities in a person would make you perceive someone as admirable or inspiring? Hard work? Being multifaceted? Do they have a personality you wish you had?

Think of people you deem iconic or who you look up to and why you perceive them as such. Are they someone who’s successfully pursued a personal goal of yours? Is their career full of achievements?

Don't condense your inspirations to people, you can also take fictional characters into consideration. Whether it’s Maddy from Euphoria, Blair from Gossip Girl or Pooja from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, think of the characters from your favorite films and tv shows for more ideas.

You can also consider some of the most popular archetypes across social/media such as the femme fatale, the socialite, the siren, the beauty and brains, any archetype that possesses a lifestyle or aura that you would like for yourself can also be taken into consideration.

B. Which trains would you like to possess?

Beautiful, magnetic, mysterious, seductive, desirable, alluring

Extroverted, fun, trend setter, admired, confident, charismatic

Intimidating, unapologetic, bold, unique, center of attention,

Kind, soft spoken, empathetic, nurturing, humanitarian

Intelligent, articulate, ambitious, hedonistic, successful, perfectionist

C. What are some interesting qualities/assumptions about you?

Always the life of the party

Speaks multiple languages

Excels at everything on the first try

Has a commanding presence

Loved by everyone and full of admirers

Everyone you develop an interest in always pursues you

People find you alluring and inspiring

Bearer of the Halo effect - receives advantages and special treatment just for being gorgeous

Mastered or proficient in a specific subject/sport/language/instrument

Art connoisseur / literature, films, fashion, music, photography

Knowledgeable across different subjects / history, science, interior design, fragrances, wine, etc.

Knowledgeable in sophisticated fields / law, politics, economics, finance

Expert at a specific hobby or activity / chess, bridge, painting, sculpting, skating, singing, dancing

Skilled at / sewing, cooking, baking, knitting, makeup, styling, coding

D. Combine it.

Once I had an idea of what I wanted my new self to be like , I would refer to scenes in tv shows when a character is being introduced in third person as if they’re reading a profile about them. They don’t just name the character, they’ll list their background, their personality, what they do, what their interests are, etc. and then twist this for myself and imagine how I would like another person to describe me. I’ll list an example of what that would look like below:

[Note: to stay on theme I will be providing an it girl example, make this your own!]

One word to describe her? Extraordinary, but she’s too much to even conceptualize in a single word that it almost feels disrespectful to her. She either inspires you to be at her level or mortifies you for not being at her level. She's influential and enticing, opulent and godly. She has sky-high standards and smells like Tobacco Vanille. She always gets what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer. She studies hard in the daytime and attends prestigious social gatherings in the nighttime. She’s a polymath with an IQ of 168 who knows a little about every subject. Whether it’s foreign languages, interior design, pastry making or art, she’s full of knowledge and constantly teaches you something new. She’s innovative and always formulating progressive ideas which also makes her a trendsetter. Whatever she does whether it’s a hobby or putting an outfit together she always owns it in her own unique manner. Because of that, her presence captures the attention of everyone in the room without her even saying a word. Her magnetic aura and sultry gaze make her irresistible to anyone who locks eyes with her. Men go crazy over her even though they know she’d never look twice at them. She’s witty and fun to be around. She’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met before. In fact, you could copy her personality and style down to a T and you still would not be able to capture her essence. You can’t get her out of your head because her beauty, passion and determination make her unforgettable.

Now that you have an idea of who your new self is, let’s talk about how to dump the old self.

V. Immolation ✧ Say goodbye to the old story forever.

“Man is not willing to outgrow, [and] yet he wants other things than those he has. But if you remain in one state, you will forever have to suffer the consequences of not being in another state. (From the “Hermetica”). If I remain in the state of poverty, I must suffer the consequences of not being in the state of wealth.” - The Art of Dying

A. No one to change but self (concept).

“Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did.” - No One To Change But Self

I started this guide with self concept for a reason. If you want to create a change in your life you must first begin with self . As within, so without. An inner change must precede an outer change because we do not experience what we want, we experience what we are. Any attempt to change our worlds without changing ourselves is a mere delusion because the world will forever reflect back to us that which we are conscious of being. You want the world to know that you’re an it girl? Feel yourself to be an it girl first.

B. Forgiveness.

“You must learn to distinguish between the eternal human who occupies a state, and the state itself. This is the only means to forgiveness.” - True Forgiveness

Forgiving is forgetting and forgetting is letting go. When you are able to feel yourself to be who you want to be, you let go of who you used to be. You no longer have to be somebody you don’t want to be because a change of state is always instant. Every day is a new day and every moment is a new moment. If you are currently a miserable person and then you decide you are not then you are no longer a miserable person because you chose to not identify with it. You are not your state and you cannot be affixed to any state you don’t want to occupy. You will always have the option to embody any state you would like to occupy. You can shift that immediately through forgiveness and intention. Through forgiveness, you create the severance between the state you were formerly in and the state of an it girl.

C. Regret no more.

“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself.” – Feeling is the Secret

I’d like to take this moment to tell you that regret doesn’t need to be a thing anymore because you can revise the past. That hobby you wanted to pursue but gave up on? Your GPA that you can’t go back and fix? The best friend you miss? Do you remember when you wanted to start drawing but then you stopped? Or when you did ballet when you were younger and never continued? Remember when you started learning Spanish and then gave up? You don’t need to feel regretful anymore because you can revise all and reshape the past to be in harmony with the it girl that you are. Whether you wish you had grown up wealthy or with a specific skill which would later become your passion, absolutely every aspect of your life can be adjusted. There’s no need to resent the past because it is not set in stone.

D. Let go of the external.

I urge you to not let anything outside of you define you or your life. Whether it’s the tarot deck, the tea leaves or a birth chart, none of those sources have a say in what your life looks or will look like. There’s no such thing as a predetermined fate for you. Every single aspect of your world is malleable at your command, so give up the idea that there’s any other force in the world capable of interfering with your desires.

VI. Reincarnation ✧ The birth of a new you.

“You must this night – not tomorrow – learn the technique of writing your own obituary and so completely die to what you are that no man in this world can tell you where you buried the old man.” - Consciousness is the Only Reality

A. A newly acquired mentality.

It’s time to step into your power and see yourself as the GOD that you are. You no longer need to live by the limitations the world has convinced you exist. You don’t need to do or be anything/one you don’t want to do/be and more importantly you do not need to settle for anything that doesn’t live up to your expectations. If you don’t like something, it doesn’t need to be a thing. Think about it being as simple as blocking someone, you are not gonna annoy me in MY reality. Starting today, you get to decide who you want to be and who or what gets to be a part of your life. Again, this is YOUR world, YOUR reality and everyone else is simply living in it. Why should you ever worry your gorgeous self about anything not going your way if this is your world? You’re the one on the pedestal and whatever you say must go.

Imagine telling a person exactly that, This is your world and everyone else is simply living in it. We are at such a huge advantage with the law of assumption because you don’t even need to be concerned with the course of action, you just need to focus on being (I AM). When you talk to people through the confidence of knowing that every single one of your goals is absolutely achievable, because through the law of assumption they always are and always will be, it is very easy to appear as confident to the average doubtful person. Everyone around you carries the idea with them that failure and rejection are always possibilities. You’re not like them, though. You’re completely limitless. You can excel at whatever career you want to pursue, you can date anyone you point your finger at, you can possess all of the riches the world has to offer and there’s no need to be humble about it. You are THE it girl, after all, are you not? All we’re stating is facts.

B. You cannot serve two masters.

“If you are dissatisfied with your present expression in life the only way to change it, is to take your attention away form that which seems so real to you and rise in consciousness to that which you desire to be. You cannot serve two masters, therefore to take your attention from one state of consciousness and place it upon another is to die to one and live to the other.” - At Your Command Ch. 2

In other words, you cannot sustain two polarizing states at once and you cannot take any part of the old state into the new state. If you want change, you must be loyal to it. You must be so committed to it that you have no space to even consider the old story because it doesn’t matter in the slightest anymore. Fall in love with your new state of consciousness that you are willing to be devoted to it no matter what. Leave the old in the past so the new can take its place.

C. Feeling the wish fulfilled.

“You must assume that you are what you want to be and continue therein, for the reality of your assumption has its being in complete independence of objective fact and will clothe itself in flesh if you persist in the feeling of the wish fulfilled” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 21

Capturing the feeling of the wish fulfilled is utterly essential, no matter what it is that you desire to manifest because the process will always be the same. First we must assume ourselves to be that which we desire to be through I AM and we persist in it independent of the objectiveness of our world until we are one with our new state.

The moment you successfully attain that feeling and continue to live by it, the direction of your attention will continue to focus on the implications of its fulfillment. That is, when you start to accept yourself as an it girl, the scenes that would suggest its consummation will make their way into your imagination, and if you persist in them they will inevitably become part of your state of consciousness.

VII. Invocation ✧ How to become it.

“When you pray, do not get down on your knees and pray to any unknown God. Instead, go to bed and dare to assume you are now who you want to be. Fall asleep assuming it is true and you will be on the road to success, for this is how things are brought into being.” - Brazen Impudence

A. SATS + lullaby.

I have an extensive post about the state akin to sleep which I highly suggest you read for further clarification as well as how I like to use the SATS. I’ll leave the instructions below:

The first step is to define your objective. Have a clear idea of what it is you would like to be (or be in possession of).

Next, ask yourself, “what does the end of that goal look like?” For example, if you would like to manifest a prestigious job opportunity, you’d be congratulated on it. If you’d like to manifest a change in appearance, you would receive compliments (It doesn’t need to include another person, but you may find it more helpful in order to feel it more real). Whatever the end looks like, it must always be an event that implies its fulfillment, that it is done. This is the wish fulfilled.

Get into a comfortable position. You can lay down or sit upright, it doesn’t matter, do whatever feels most comfortable.

Relax. You can do some breathing exercises, listen to music, have a warm drink, whatever it is that makes you relax.

Induce a moderate degree of drowsiness where you can still concentrate on the wish fulfilled, but be sure to not feel too drowsy where you find it difficult to focus. When you feel like you could move but you don’t want to (because you’re too comfortable), that’s when you’ll know you’re in the state akin to sleep.

Construct a scene that implies the fulfillment of your desire by making elsewhere here and then now, then feel it real by incorporating your senses into it and imagine yourself being present within your imaginal scene from your perspective. Confine your scene to a single action. If your scene implies that you have received wonderful news, do not wander off in your visualization by doing a thousand irrelevant things afterwards, simply stick to the congratulations and mentally feel yourself being present in your scene. Repeat the scene until it takes on the tones of reality. [A tip from Edward Art: Focus on feeling it real (feeling the wish fulfilled) first and then the sensory aspects of your scene will follow]

If you find it difficult to focus on a scene and feel it real or if you simply cannot conceptualiza what the end would even look like, follow steps 1 through 4 and do the following: condense the fulfillment to three words or less and repeat them over and over again until your mind is dominated by the single sensation of thankfulness. Meditate on this phrase until you accept it as a fact.

¹ Visualization ideas.

Your scenes will vary depending on what life you want to live. You can change your scenes every time you visualize during the SATS so long as they all imply the same end. What would imply that you are an it girl? Being interviewed? Walking down a red carpet? Men dropping their jaws when you pass by? For ideas, consider what activities would comprise a day in your it girl life.

² The lullaby method.

"Remain there until you feel its certainty, until you reach the point of satisfaction, until you are convinced of its truth; and although the world may collapse around you, you will become that which you have assumed you are." - An Inner Conviction

If you would like to try out the lullaby method, some three word phrases you could use are: I’m that girl/person, I have everything, It is done, I’m so happy, I AM (__), etc.

B. Mental diets.

“Feast on the idea, become identified with the idea as though you were already that embodied state. Walk in the assumption that you are what you want to be. If you feast on that and remain faithful to that mental diet, you will crystallize it. You will become it in this world.” - Thinking Fourth Dimensionally

Mental diets aren’t particularly necessary since they can imply that you need to be monitoring your thoughts constantly. However, objectively being conscious of them can help you determine what state you are currently occupying. If you would like to indulge in a mental diet you can do so by asking yourself the following questions:

Is this what I would want someone else to say or think about me?

Would my it girl think this thought?

I would also like to briefly recall that thoughts alone don’t hold power unless you accept them as facts. You can have intrusive thoughts and joke all you want about how you’re ugly but unless you persist in that and feel them to be true it will not manifest.

C. Inner conversations.

"What are you saying at every moment of time? Watch it; be careful what you are saying, because your whole vast world is this inner conversation pushed out." - Control Your Inner Conversations

I urge you to stop internally berating yourself or imagining someone speaking negatively about you. Pay attention to the perpetual inner conversation you hold with yourself: “I’m not good at math”, “my friends always make plans without me”, “I’m so awkward”, because what you say and believe about yourself is what you will continue to face in the third dimension. Instead, think about the lovely remarks you’d like others to say about you and mentally hear them say them. You can also try vaunting which is the practice of constructing a conversation in which you brag from the wish fulfilled. You can turn to the example I used of being described in third person by someone else and speak from first person instead (I AM).

D. Revision.

"At the end of my day, I review the day; I don't judge it, I simply review it. I look over the entire day, all the episodes, all the events, all the conversations, all the meetings, and then as I see it clearly in my mind's eye, I rewrite it. I rewrite it and make it conform to the ideal day I wish I had experienced. I take scene after scene and rewrite it, revise it, and having revised my day, then in my imagination I relive that day, the revised day, and I do it over and over in my imagination until this seeming imagined state begins to take on to me the tones of reality. It seems that it's real, that I actually did experience it and I have found from experience that these revised days, if really lived, will change my tomorrows. When I meet people tomorrow that today disappointed me, they will not tomorrow, for in me I have changed the very nature of that being, and having changed him, he bears witness tomorrow of the change that took place within me." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

Before you go to bed, revisit the occurrences of your day and when you recall an unfavorable one that challenges your it girl state of consciousness and rewrite it. Follow the steps for the SATS and construct a scene that would replace the unfavorable situation and convert it into a favorable situation.

E. Finish the day feeling the wish fulfilled.

"Do not let the sun descend upon any vexation of the day." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

This one is an absolute must. If you can help it, try to refrain from falling asleep in the assumption that you are not an it girl. If you are not feeling the wish fulfilled, take a few minutes to meditate on your state and then fall asleep feeling embraced by it and the relief of knowing that who you desire to be is who you already are (also known as the Sabbath).

VIII. Preservation ✧ How to sustain it.

"Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith!" - God’s Creative Power

A. Persistence.

“By desiring to be other than what you are, you can create an ideal of the person you want to be and assume that you are already that person. If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 3

To briefly remind you, persistence means to remain obstinate with an intention regardless of difficulties or obstructions. When you are adopting a new state of consciousness, you may initially struggle to feel it real or even become impatient with its lack of manifestation in the third dimension, but you must keep returning to it no matter what. You may waver and you may falter but if you remember to proceed with the embodiment of your it girl state by returning to it through any preferred means, no force and no power will cumber its realization.

B. Forget about time.

"The length of time between my desire and its conception depends entirely upon my inner conviction that it is done."- An Inner Conviction

Focusing on the “time” it takes for your state to feel natural to you will only hold you back and keep you in a cycle of waiting. Ask yourself what the end, or the actualization of being an it girl, looks like for you and live in it. Do not suppress yourself to what appears to be the present moment if it is not reflecting the end of your desires. If you are concerned with “the time it’ll take”, then you are conscious of the opposite of your desires which means you are not feeling the wish fulfilled.

Always seek the wish fulfilled and abide by it until it blossoms into your world.

C. Disregard appearances.

"These appearances will continue in being as long as you give them life through your conscious awareness of them. You must disregard the evidence of your senses as it pertains to any undesirable condition in your life. You must Imagine and feel that you have already attained that which you want to experience rather than that which you do not want to continue in being. This may appear difficult, yet you have probably exercised this principle unconsciously to produce negative results." - Imagination Creates Reality

Do not settle for less than you seek. You never need to compromise with whatever it is that you desire because as I have mentioned, all exists and all is possible. Reject anything that doesn’t confirm that you are an it girl and never take no for an answer. Be adamant. Decide on what it is that you want and regardless of the limitations of your environment, consent to its immersion to your state of consciousness. No matter what you see or hear, do not accept it if it is not what you want. If you continue to suppress the acceptance of your desires to your senses then that's where your consciousness will remain.

“You don't accept one thing in the world as final unless it conforms to the ideal you want to realize in the world.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision

D. You already are, not will be.

“That which you seek you already are, it can never be so far off as even to be near, for nearness implies separation.” - No One To Change But Self

Something we can learn from it girls is the following: it girls don’t care whether or not they’re it girls, they simply are. So although we are intentionally shifting our state of consciousness, remember to not approach this with a trying mindset or the idea that you will become when you already are, because the use of the word “will” implies that you currently are not. As I’ve said before, “you can’t try to be someone you already are”. Whatever the wish fulfilled looks like for you, accept it at this very moment. Go straight to the end and bathe in it, rejoice in the fulfilled prayer as you go about your day and remain faithful to that inner conviction.

E. Reject the possibility of failure.

“Don’t be anxious or concerned as to results. They will follow just as surely as day follows night.” - Your faith is your fortune Ch. 21

Your desires are literally a guarantee. You can bring absolutely anything into being if you proceed with your intention in spite of what you experience in the flesh. You possess a gift that no one will ever be able to confiscate from you and that is your imagination. Intentional use of this gift will bring forward the beautification of your world in means you would not have been able to devise. Do not become an impediment in your journey by concerning yourself with the means, for they are never your responsibility. If you are serious and willing to assume in your favor, the mountains that need to move will move, the obstacles in the path towards heaven will be cleared and the people who need to play a role relative to its fruition will act accordingly without you having to do so much as lift a finger.

F. Apply.

“You must be doers of the law of assumption, for without application, the most profound understanding will not produce any desired result.” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 18

It is not enough for you to read the entirety of this guide without intending to put the instructions in it to use. You could read and listen to every document, every book and every lecture out there that tells you exactly how to manifest your desires but unless you take that information and put it to use, it was all acquired in vain. This post was long and detailed, do not let it go to waste by refusing to apply and persist. Wanting to do it is not enough, you must DO IT through persistence and a disciplined mind. Do not let the day in which you are reading this post to come to an end without acknowledging that you are an it girl now, not will be, you are. Plant the seed today and you will reap the harvest tomorrow.

"Your assumption, to be effective, cannot be a single isolated act, it must be a maintained attitude of the wish fulfilled." - The Power of Awareness Ch. 22

G. Calm reminders

I’m sure some of these concerns may have risen at some point so I will clear them up right now: acting as if is not necessary, neglecting your current circumstances and pretending they are not occurring is not necessary and being happy all the time is also not necessary. It is okay if you fall out of your new state from time to time, do not think that there is such a thing as “losing progress” because you can never truly lose what is already in your possession. If you are dealing with difficult circumstances I strongly recommend you read this post: how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too.

IX. Motivation ✧

“I don’t care what it is; when you know what you want, you can make your desire so real, so natural that you will reach a feeling of certainty which no power in the world can stop. When that feeling is yours, drop it. Don’t ask anyone if what you did was right or wrong; you did it and that’s all that is necessary.” - An Inner conviction

If you are truly serious about becoming the it girl of your reality, you’ll have to be disciplined, determined, and persistent. You have to be willing to give up who you are right now in order to become who you want to be because the longer you entertain your old self, the longer you’ll postpone your dream self. You can decide at any moment to change, and if you are not actively working towards shifting your state of consciousness then you are consenting to its preservation. You accept what you tolerate, whether it’s mediocre friends, mediocre grades or a mediocre lifestyle and the only way to put an end to that is by intending to because it all starts with you. Do you want it enough? Are you willing to finally become an it girl or will you continue daydreaming about being an it girl? If you’re capable of being someone you don’t want to be, what makes you think you aren’t mutually capable of becoming someone you do want to be? Your it girl self is not far away from you, she already exists within your imagination and she is waiting for you to bring life to her. You already know everything you need to know in order to do it, so what’s stopping you? I know it can feel challenging because we feel confined to our current circumstances but I have so much faith in you and I know you have it in you to give yourself the world. You deserve to wake up every day feeling completely obsessed with yourself and your life. You don’t need to spend a minute longer hoping things that feel like they’re out of your control change if you know you are the one who’s in control. This is your reality, after all. Decide who you want to be and what life you want to lead, start showing up every day for it and remember to never accept anything that doesn’t live up to your standards. Dare to pursue everything you have ever wanted, all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed.

X. Outroduction ✧

"Every dream could be realized by those self-disciplined enough to believe it."- No One To Change But Self

And that concludes this guide! If there’s one takeaway you should carry with you from it it’s the following: you reserve the right to have high standards in regards to every aspect of your life, you deserve the partner of your dreams, the home of your dreams, the life of your dreams, you deserve all of it and more. Becoming an it girl doesn’t require a meticulous plan of action. All it takes is the use of imagination and discipline. You can realize your every dream. Whatever you want regardless of what it is or how unrealistic it sounds, you should demand more out of life and you should never settle for less than you desire, fantasize about or dream of, you can have it and you should have it. The world was made by you and for you so be self-willed and go for it. I have given you everything you need to know to become an it girl and all you have to do is apply. You’ve got this! Remember that you cannot fail, so when you succeed (notice how I didn't say if), I want to hear your success story. Until next time, mis amores!

Love always, your bestie Hera * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

“You can be the man (or woman) you want to be, but not by simply wishing. You must make the effort to look at the world mentally and see it reflect your fulfilled desire. And when it does you must remain in that state until you reach the inner conviction that what you are seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and hearing is true, clothe yourself in the feeling of its reality - and explode! Do that and you are pregnant. And what do you do after pregnancy? Nothing! You simply wait for its birth to appear in its own appointed hour. And it will! When you least expect it your desire will objectify itself in the world for you to enjoy, whether it be health, wealth, or fame. That’s how God’s law works.” - An Inner Conviction

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starcurtain · 23 days

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Interpreting Aventurine's Situation

(HSR 2.1 spoilers, watch out!) I think one of my favorite things to come out of Penacony is that the plot has left us with two completely opposite but equally valid interpretations of Aventurine's character. Is he a chosen child or just a "lucky" dog? The story leaves the door wide open for both possibilities.

Under a read more for space:

One Interpretation: Unfortunately for Him, Aventurine is Actually Blessed by an Aeon

If you work from the assumption that the Avgin mythology is correct, and Gaiathra Triclops is actually real (possibly a minor aeon of an unknown path or Ena, if you're on that train), then it's entirely possible, in game, that Aventurine has been blessed by a goddess to the point that he functionally cannot lose any gamble he makes. The odds are, literally, ever in his favor. In this interpretation, it doesn't matter how many gambles he takes with his life as the chip because he will always succeed. Despite how risky his behavior looks to everyone else, he's actually been perfectly safe all along.

But this is especially tragic because it means that, despite his mother's and sister's belief that his blessing will help everyone in their tribe, Aventurine's blessing has only ever extended to himself. He's not an omen of good fortune for his people. His luck was never going to protect his parents, sister, or friends. The goddess of the Avgin chose just one person and left the rest of her people to die.

This is where Aventurine's doubts stem from. He asks repeatedly: If the goddess can bless people, then why is life so miserable for the Avgin? Why do they have to live in pain, suffering, fear, and abject poverty if she could make them lucky enough to thrive? Why do people live if it's just going to be horrible?

(To be honest, I don't think this is out of line for the behavior we've seen of aeons so far. Even with aeons like Yaoshi, described as gentle and benevolent, with no intention to cause harm, their gifts often create horror in the human world.)

Aventurine's hands still tremble when he bets. He doesn't really believe he's blessed and still expects his own downfall at every turn--but it's never going to come because he is one of the few human beings in the entire universe with the direct favor of an aeon. Even Ratio, a skeptical, evidence-based genius, seems to think this might be the case.

(Choosing the Chinese because the text is a little clearer than the English, but basically: "This guy always has a way of dragging himself up out of the abyss, which can't be explained by just 'good luck.' Everyone is waiting to see him fail... Maybe even he's waiting too. But as time passed, I couldn't help but wonder: Will that day really come?")

This means Aventurine has lived a life of fear and uncertainty for nothing. He's spent his entire life awaiting a failure and painful death that will never come. He can't recognize the love of his own goddess nor trust in the faith of his own family.

The central question of this interpretation becomes "What does it mean for a single human to be favored by an aeon?" Can Aventurine really be called lucky after losing every single thing that has meaning in his life--all because an aeon chose him and only him? Should that be called a blessing or a curse?

The Opposite Interpretation: Aventurine Isn't Lucky At All, He's Just Skilled

On the other hand, the story leaves the door open to interpret Aventurine's situation in the complete opposite manner too. If, as the IPC seems to think, Gaiathra Triclops isn't real and Aventurine isn't blessed at all, then that means every single risk Aventurine has taken has actually been life-threatening--and that every single achievement he's reached has been by his own merits alone.

If Gaiathra's blessing isn't real, then Aventurine's life becomes one long self-run psyop: Everyone tells him he's blessed, he's lucky, he's favored--so young Kakavasha starts gambling early. Banking on this idea that he's favored, that he's chosen, he starts paying attention, he learns the tricks of the trade, figures out how to slip cards up his sleeves, how to word things just right so people will take his bait--he practices, practices, practices, until he can spot winning odds a mile away, until he can predict every possible outcome, until he's seen it all before.

In this situation, every single gamble he's ever made or will make carries a very, very real risk of failure--but Aventurine continues to succeed because he's just that quick-witted, just that aware, just that good at reading people. (He's been doing it for so much longer than everyone else he meets, after all.) He is the gambler extraordinaire, the archetypal charming rogue who can squirm his way out of any tight spot he gets into, time and time again.

He fears every gamble he makes because he has good reason to--there's literally never any guarantee that he will succeed, and he's constantly just flipping a coin to see what outcome he'll get. His personal skill and quick wit continue to turn things in his favor, but it's inevitable that one day he'll meet a situation that outwits him, a gamble where only a supernatural force could have saved him. And if you take this second interpretation, Gaiathra isn't real, so there won't be one.

This story choice would be interesting because it implies a greater degree of responsibility for everything that happens. If it's Aventurine's own quick wit and skill that continually save him, shouldn't he be able to help others with that skill? Shouldn't he have been able to help himself? How was he able to save himself from death but not from slavery? If it was skill, not luck, all along, then who do you blame for all the misery he still experienced?

This interpretation leads to greater questions of self-doubt and anxiety: Is it actual skill or just sheer dumb luck? Does Aventurine have what it takes mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and even physically to always come out on top by his own merits, or is he just the benefit of the wheel of fortune--statistically speaking, a one in a million chance still has to come through for that one, right? And when it all comes crumbling down eventually, will he have only himself to blame?

A Life of Uncertainty

The story doesn't actually give us any firm indication whether Gaiathra is real or not, or--even if she is real--if Aventurine is actually genuinely blessed. We just don't know, as players.

And Aventurine doesn't know either.

His faith in the goddess of the Avgin is shaky. He seems to want to believe and hold on to his people's mythology, but he has valid doubts that a goddess would choose to bless one person while leaving everyone else to suffer.

Is he the chosen of an aeon? And if he isn't chosen, then what meaning does any of it have? Is he just unbelievably skilled? Has he merely been lucky up to now? When will this blessing or luck or skill finally fail him?

Aventurine's most defining character trait is the extreme uncertainty that has plagued his whole life. What is true? What should he believe? Is he blessed or cursed? Does he have the talent to back up his massive boasts? Should others put any faith in him--should he put any faith in himself? Should he cling to his people's beliefs or reject the goddess that left him the sole survivor of a cultural extinction?

He can't trust anything. He can't trust his family's faith; he can't trust that he's actually a "chosen one" (because how could he chosen and his family be left to die?). He can't even trust that he's lucky because maybe it was just the years of suffering practice he put in. Then again, he can't trust in his own skill because maybe he's just blessed?

Which is it? Which is it? Which is it?

Nothing is certain. Nothing can be taken for granted. Nothing can be proven empirically true or false. There are no guarantees for Aventurine.

Every single thing in his life is a gamble, and none of that is his fault.

What an amazing character. What a great story. Thank you for the treat, Hoyo!

#aventurine #honkai star rail #hsr meta #aventurine meta #alternate character interpretations #gaiathra #damned if you do #damned if you don't #2.1 spoilers #penacony spoilers

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scribblingapparition · 1 year

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El Dios de la Brisa (K'uk'ulkan x reader) (1)

Summary: You are a passionate Marine Biologist who has lived in the Yucatan Peninsula for some time now. An accepted and welcomed member of the local village, you've been working through the heartache of losing your mentor and friend. You were not prepared for how your life would change and the discoveries you would make.

[Word count: 5,654]

. . .

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored.

You loved the time you spent doing fieldwork, gathering information about the diverse wildlife that inhabited the oceans and letting hours pass you by while you swim among them. You loved aiding in the restoration of habitats and looking at problems from all the different perspectives brilliant minds brought to the table to find solutions. You adored rehabilitating injured animals and felt a great sense of accomplishment and pride each time you released an animal back into the water where it belonged.

All of that is your driving force behind wanting to make a difference and take responsibility for the planet we all share and have to take care of.

There were threats to that passion.

Phone calls.

“The funding that your mentor left you won’t last an eternity. Listen, I know you are grieving her loss. We all are. But you need to stop finding excuses to push aside the real work that needs to be done elsewhere. Your technique of lab grown coral has completely revived the coral reefs in Culebra. You really impressed everyone in Puerto Rico with that. We need you here.” Enrique sighed, you could hear him shuffling papers as he spoke. “You’ve taken all her things back to her family and gotten a look at what she was working on in Yucatán. It’s time to move on.”

“It’s really nice of you to call in every week to repeat the same thing. Really keeps the conversation interesting.”

“You always have to take things the wrong way.”

“I’m not taking anything any sort of way. I’ve already told you, there’s something interesting here that’s got my attention and I have no intention of leaving until I’ve understood as much as I can. Funding or not, I’ll figure it out. I always do. Like I did before her, alright? So, thank you for the call but I don’t need you worrying about me. You or anyone.”

You didn’t enjoy being the sort of person that spoke to others like that but it’s what they brought out of you. You came from nothing and you had no one. Everything you had ever earned in your life you achieved through hard work and perseverance. You put yourself through school, through college, and with no help from anyone you managed to be taken under the wing of one of the world’s most brilliant marine biologists: Altagracia Alvarez-Delgado.

Paralleled stories and a common goal had united the two of you and together a real change happened in the world of ocean conversation. Your mentor had a way of inspiring crowds with her mastery in storytelling and she could create empathy in the hearts of others that got them to care – to truly want to join the cause of being responsible, intelligent, beings that could change the planet for the better. For everyone.

You had never admired anyone more. You never took a moment for granted, you never took her advice for granted, and you never took the many lessons you learned through her grace and humility for granted. You don’t experience loss when you don’t have anyone; her unexpected death sent you through a downward spiral you could not have predicted. It was in her honor that you traveled to her village to deliver the news of her passing and the last of her belongings. Her family had welcomed you, encouraged you to take up residence in her old cabin across the bay from the pyramid and gave you advice on how to find peace and comfort when you felt like you would never have it again.

It had never been in your plans to stay.

Now you couldn’t seem to leave.

You were naturally a curious person, always were. The draw to the sea called out to you like the hypnotizing melodies of a siren song. It didn’t matter if you never truly had a home because as long as you were by the ocean and allowed to get lost underneath its waves you would feel at home. There was something about the bay that called out to a part of you that was in tune enough to listen.

The first couple of months of living among the villagers you had taken to conduct undisturbed research of the area. Multiple times a day, Ines Delgado (your mentor’s mother), would spot your pack resting in the same place it always was in the shore line while you dove to the depths with your gear to spend time around the reefs and exploring the extensive cave systems. Each time you shared your discoveries with her over coffee.

There is one thing you could not get over.

“Ines, sinceramente, he viajado por el mundo y he visto todo tipo de ecosistemas y hábitats. Con la forma que están los océanos ahora, muchos de ellos están en diferentes estados de sufrimiento, pero estos…los que veo aquí son casi perfectos.” You had told her both in a state of disbelief and admiration, knowing that whatever your mentor had started here was working incredibly well. “Lo que su hija ha comenzado aquí es brillante. Ella es brillante.”

(Ines, sincerely, I have traveled around the world and I have seen all types of ecosystems and habitats. With the way the oceans are now, a lot of the ones I have seen have been in different states of suffering, but these…the ones I have seen here are almost perfect. What your daughter started here is brilliant. She is brilliant.)

Shaking her head, her hands trembled slightly due to her age as she brought the cup to her lips to drink. “Es la protección de el que la ha guardado.”

(It is all due to his protection, that has kept it safe.)

“Quien es el?”

(Who is he?)

“K'uk'ulkan. La serpiente emplumada existe. Lo he visto. Inspiro miedo en mi, cuando lo vi. Estaba vestido en trueno y oro, plumas y perlas. Alas en sus pies y rabia en sus ojos. Espero que nunca lo tenga que ver otra vez. Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(K'uk'ulkan. The feathered serpent exists. I’ve seen him. He inspired fear in me, when I saw him. He was dressed in thunder and gold, feathers and pearls. With wings on his feet and rage in his eyes. I hope to never have to see him again. My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

You promised Ines you would be careful. In a world where aliens can snap their fingers and change the course of life in the universe it never hurts to be aware and respectful of the myths and the gods others believed in for you never know what you might encounter. You had smiled and taken her hand in yours when the words left your mouth and a promise to be extra careful was made.

☀

It did feel as if you were breaking that promise now as you left behind your phone, not wanting to answer any more annoying phone calls, grabbed your pack and gear and headed up the trail to the base of the pyramid.

There was no escaping the heat.

It was simply impossible.

There was little solace to find in the shade provided by the thick foliage of the trees and the ocean breeze did manage to move leaves in gentle sways enough to reach you but your prayers to Kinich Ahau sadly went unanswered as the heat of the sun did not lessen. There were guided tours around the pyramid during the busy seasons where tourists invaded the peninsula in hopes of seeing, but never truly appreciating, the history that can be found in this land. One of the guides had befriended you and had mentioned a cave opening surrounded by an arch of hieroglyphics that housed the clearest water in the area.

It was believed to be a gateway to an ancient city forged in the depths of the ocean where the sunlight could not reach and many who still believed in the ancient gods left offerings for K'uk'ulkan.

Not only that but there were said to be schools of fish that pulsed light like eye catching signals that were rumored to be found deeper within the system. It had been mentioned a while ago and you had always had it in the back of your mind to see if you could spot and observe the fish.

What better time to do it than after a call reminding you that you might have to leave this paradise behind soon because of funding, of all things?

It had taken some time to reach your destination as it was not a well traveled path. Making sure you were hydrated and ready to go, you began to suit up. Your diving ensemble was state of the art. The suit itself worked wonders for helping you camouflage to your surroundings allowing you for the best sights of the marine life that happily swam around you after they got used to your presence. You didn’t have to wear a heavy tank that limited your time in the water thanks to the mask your mentor’s genius friend had invented and the fins you swam with actually worked pretty well when you were in a hurry.

Making sure your pack was hidden away in case someone else decided to explore the area, you carefully stepped into the water. The mask you wore covered your face entirely allowing you the luxury of not having to let your eyes adjust to the water. You did close your eyes for a moment, however, to take in how amazing it felt to be completely submerged.

This was home.

You were beneath a pyramid that was built somewhere along the 3rd and 9th AD by a powerful and rich civilization, miles away from where others would consider your actual home, sinking into an unknown darkness without any fear of what might be waiting for you. So many others would not find this particular situation comforting at all but you did.

The water called to you.

Like the soothing song.

This was home.

“Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

Detaching the flashlight strapped to your thigh, you brought it up to shine at the cavern walls. You had been swimming for some time now, alone in the darkness, and though you had encountered some animals none of them were the glowing fish the tour guide had mentioned. What you had found, however, were intricate hieroglyphics that seemed almost untouched by time. Your eyes widened as you took in the absolute artistry in front of you.

How had they not been eroded by the currents after centuries?

You touched them and allowed your fingers to trace through the creases of the smoothly carved images. Had these been above water at some point? What did they mean? You could only make out a few images. Pushing back to get a wider view and moving your hair so nothing obstructed your vision, you listened to the sound of your own breathing as you moved the light further down; eyes eagerly searching for new wonders when suddenly your breath caught in your throat.

Eyes. You had seen eyes staring up at you and the moment your light hit them, whatever it was moved out of the way quickly. They weren’t the eyes of a fish, it looked human, it looked like a person.

You immediately moved your light all around you, twisting to see if you could catch a glimpse of what had run away from you. You had felt the water move and push against you as whatever it was swam away but it was back to nothing. It was just you in the darkness and the sound of your racing heart but you were no longer fooled. You were not alone.

Years of diving experience have made you become extremely well aware of your surroundings. You had to be when you spend as much time as you do in the ocean where the animals that lived there have evolved over millions of years to perfectly exist within the places you were not fully equipped to be in. That’s why you weren’t shrugging off what you saw as a figment of your imagination or a construct of your mind adjusting to the dark.

You saw a man. The eyes of a man.

And now you were seemingly alone but there was something there, something in the quiet shadows and you could all but feel his gaze.

Movement came from underneath you and into the path of your flashlight calmly wandered a nurse shark. Large, brown, and gentle; most definitely a nurse shark. Your brain began to give you facts about how many different species of sharks are cave dwellers and how nurse sharks are most definitely one of many different kinds found in the peninsula. You tried to calm your breathing to the almost lazy movements of the animal before you who was not frightened at all. It was home, it felt safe.

Yet you could not just simply calm your mind enough not to worry.

There it was again. You could feel something beneath you. Remaining calm, you closed your eyes as tightly as you could, reminding yourself of so many different situations you had been in where the danger level had been much higher and never had you felt this much fear. Never once had you feared even the biggest ocean creature but a man, this man…

You pointed your flashlight beneath you.

Below, curling up ready to attack, was a giant serpent.

Its tongue extended past its wide open jaw and around the head sharp triangle-like spikes circled around it in layers like a lion’s mane. The light only reached so far but it was clear that it was posed in action and ready to devour you whole.

K'uk'ulkan

Fear moved you before your mind could rationalize the giant feathered serpent to be nothing but a statue. You had never complained about the quality of the swimming fins you wore but quickly kicking your feet to get away from your perceived threat, you had moved too quickly right into a protruding hieroglyph that smashed into the shield protecting your face, your mask. You didn’t think that you hit it hard enough to crack but water began leaking into your mark by your eye, causing you to move both hands quickly to try and stop it. Your flashlight drops into the darkness. You cannot believe how unprofessionally you are acting and how stupid your decisions have been when you know better. She taught you to know better.

The water was now gathering beneath your chin. Your body was pressed against the cave wall, one hand trying to cover the crack in your mask while the other maneuvered around your bags around your waist to find something to fill the crack. Your hair bunched in front of you as you moved and during that movement something that went down to the cave floor and retrieved your flashlight.

You bet it wasn’t the nurse shark as the light turned off and the darkness did what the serpent wanted to do.

It swallowed you whole.

You centered yourself as much as you could and the water stopped as it reached your lips thanks to the plaster you had which you securely placed on top of the damaged part of your mask. It was not a permanent fix and you needed to get out of the caves. Now. Your heart was racing and you could feel your hand trembling as you gripped another flashlight from where they were strapped to your thigh but before you could turn it on strong hands grabbed your own and pulled you forward.

Instinctively, you thrashed against their hold hoping to escape but it felt like trying to pull your arms away from steel. You were pulled forward again and in the darkness your hands reached out and you felt…were those beads? A necklace? A chest? There wasn’t much time to determine what anything was before you were pulled further into the darkness. Whatever had you moved with the ease of an eel and the strength of a shark. It was disorienting being pushed around in total darkness with the water inside your mask splashing around, making you cough it out when your hazardous breathing accidentally made you swallow some of it. You could do nothing but let yourself be led.

You should’ve listened more carefully to Ines.

It felt like an eternity later but eventually you saw light. This cave you did not recognize but that mattered little as you were released and you began swimming towards the surface. You must be somewhere close to the surface as it seemed to be more than an air pocket where you were in. In the center was a platform, a perfect circle made out of stone that sat above the water and you gripped onto the edge with all your might ignoring the pain as you raised yourself onto it.

Your mask was the first thing to be removed as you moved to the center of the circle, coughing up water and breathing lungfuls of air. You were greedy after almost being sure breathing air was something that would never happen again. On your back, eyes facing the stalagmites reaching down towards you from the cave’s ceiling, feet still protected by the fins, and mask discarded next to you. You counted yourself lucky to be alive.

You had said it in your call to Enrique what seemed like forever ago even though it was just that very day. There was something about this place that refused to let you leave and your need to discover it, to understand it, had almost landed you a watery grave in the place you felt most at home.

Turning yourself onto your stomach, your wrists hurt where you had been grabbed and dragged through the water. Whatever it was, whatever that humanoid was, had the strength of a killer whale. You sat up and looked into the water. There was nothing there at first but then out of the water emerged a king.

You didn’t know who he was, what he was, but instinctively deep down you knew you were in the presence of something ancient, something above a human. It was like the water both clinged to him and helped him rise; a pure display of power just right there before your eyes. His hair was darker than the shadows of the caves, his neck adorned with gold and pearls, his eyes contained the rage of a summer storm, and on his feet…wings.

Fluttering white wings.

It can’t be…

He spoke in Yucatec Maya that much you were sure of. The pronunciation and formation of the words you were familiar with as the locals had tried to teach you one several occasions. It was too fast for your less than basic knowledge to pick out any words you knew but you did not need to be fluent in his language to understand that what he was saying certainly wasn’t good.

Then he surprised you.

“You have wandered around my home as if it belonged to you.” The anger in his voice was palpable yet he remained right where he rose from the water. “For many months, you pushed past the boundaries set in place and ignored the warnings to satisfy your own greed. My people have kept a close watch on you. You have trespassed for the last time, surface-dweller. What do you say for yourself?”

“I…” You struggled to find words, any words, in the presence of his might and fury. It may have been the incredible situation that you were in that made your mind override the need for survival with boundless curiosity and amazement. It was the only explanation you could think of for the way you sat up to look directly at him while your mind went wild processing and connecting what you now had knowledge on.

“It’s you. You’re…him. She was right. They were right! They truly had seen you. But the stories span hundreds of years, that must mean you’ve been alive for quite some time! A-and the reefs, the fish, they’re in abundance here. A thriving healthy community amidst so many disasters. If your people were watching me then-it was their work! I knew it! There was no way everything could be that pristine with the level of tourism, even with the help of the locals. It’s unfortunate to say that but it-it makes sense, you-”

He roared in Maya t’aan; though you may not have understood him exactly, you did understand context and his call for silence as his patience diminished. The cavern walls amplified his distaste as he stepped onto the stone circle before you. You bowed your head in fear of looking into his eyes again and kept your hands close to you in an attempt to stop them from trembling.

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I am a marine biologist and I never once intended to trespass into your territory. I have dedicated myself, my life, to the betterment of the oceans.” You explained through a shaky voice as he neared you, eyes firmly placed on the stone before you. “I may have wandered too close to places I should not have been at but I swear to you I meant no harm. Not to you, your people, or any creatures I may have encountered. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

((Please, K'uk'ulkan.))

It felt to you as if an eternity had passed in the quiet that followed.

He wasn’t unaware of the state of the surface world. To be prepared for your enemy meant keeping yourself knowledgeable on their movements, their advances, their whispers. The reports he had gotten from his Talokanil is that you had an understanding of the oceans in ways they had not seen other surface dwellers have before. The ocean creatures calmed in your presence, almost welcoming it, seeking you out when you entered their home. You did not seem hostile or aware at all of their existence yet you chose to explore many of the routes created to lead to Talokan. You could never reach it. Not with your mask and suit that would do nothing to protect you from the pressure of the deep or the frigid temperature.

Your good deeds preceded you and just as your curiosity led you, unknowingly, to them it was his curiosity to meet the one his scouts spoke of that had led him to you.

“I have many names. My people call me K'uk'ulkan, but my enemies call me Namor.” He spoke with a deadly tone, causing your eyes to close as your mind jumped to the worst. “You have caught my attention as many surface dwellers have not. You are not welcomed in these waters and it will do you well to remember my words. Nothing roams my oceans, close to my people, without my permission and you do not have it.”

☀

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored.

Phone calls serving as reminders that your funding was running out was not one of them.

Being banished from the place you most loved by an ancient feathered serpent god was not one of them.

It had been a full moon cycle since that fateful encounter and you had taken a lot of that time to think about what the future held for you. It was difficult ignoring the call of the sea but that time had been spent being more involved with the village and carefully listening to all of the parts of their culture they chose to share with you. There were those that believed and those that did not heed the tales of the elders. You did your best to remain neutral but interested.

He had disappeared into the water after forbidding you from telling anyone of his existence and of what you had now come to know. Your mask had also mysteriously vanished. You had made it back to your cabin by the time the sun dived deep beneath the waves and for the rest of that night you could not sleep.

“Estos turistas! ¡No tienen respeto por nadie ni por nada!”

((These tourists! They don't have respect for anyone or anything!))

That’s how you had been woken up by a young boy named Mateo that you had befriended during your time in the village. He told you that there had been a big boat, painted in bright colors, that had been rented by some tourists a couple of times over; the boat was filled with men disturbing the wildlife and the boy had seen them wrestling a sea turtle out of the water. Mateo had shouted at them to stop from the shore but that did nothing as they did not listen.

The wind blew your hair behind you as you steered your boat in the direction of where the boy had seen the turtle go after it had been thrown back into the water. They’re fast swimmers and with only the light of the moon it would be a miracle if you spotted the injured animal but you had to try.

You were around the area of where the boat had last been seen by Mateo and looking back at the bay, you had moved farther away than they had been by a lot. But this is where your heart had guided you and you never doubted your instincts. You prepped the boat and lowered the anchor, quickly working on lifting the heavy ramp off the side of your little vessel preparing to have to lift a decent sized sea turtle. The bay was the home to many beautiful green sea turtles and though they were stunning, they were large heavy animals. Usually a rescue like this would be done by a team but it was just you.

You in the middle of the pitch black ocean you were told you weren’t welcomed in.

You were steady as the boat rocked and you held onto the railing of the steps leading down as you looked all around you and placed your hand in the water. This world had many living in it with special abilities forced to be kept secret for their safety. You did not believe you had any. You were sure there was nothing special about you until your early days on the field proved you wrong. You couldn’t communicate with sea animals but they did seem to come to you when they needed help.

Too many things happened that had no real good explanation for you to brush them off as coincidences.

The ocean was a completely different world from the one you lived on, now more than ever you were aware of that fact. Regardless of what you believed was real or not, you knew you could not go searching for the injured one so you closed your eyes, gripping onto the side latter until your knuckles hurt, and called out to the animal.

You felt ridiculous.

You weren’t special.

It wasn’t going to work.

Moments passed with no result and you had to fight the urge to just jump in the water, knowing the search would not be fruitful without your equipment. Your eyes watered and you scoffed at yourself becoming emotional. It had not been easy spending a month away from your research, away from laughing underneath the waves as fish darted around you and intelligent little octopi tried to steal your stuff. Just as it had not been easy to lose the one person who understood your need to be in the water.

A head with large eyes and hexagonal shaped markings popped out from the dark and soon the entire body came with it. The shell had been cracked, almost cut into. It wasn’t unheard of for tourists to try to remove the shells off the turtles to keep them as souvenirs and it angered you that it had even been attempted.

Your gasp of surprise quickly became gentle words of encouragement.

“Hi, beautiful, hello. It’s okay. It’s okay. You found me and I’m going to help you, okay? You’re a big girl aren’t you? I gotcha, beautiful. You’re so smart, all turtles are. I’m going to take care of you, let me just-” You had turned to face the deck and yelled.

K'uk'ulkan stood on the deck of your boat. Water rolled off his body and the moon silhouetted his imposing figure, allowing the pearls around his neck to glow on their own. The wings on his feet shook the moisture off of themselves and in his hand he held a scepter (or was it a spear, there wasn’t much light) crafted of gold and jade.

“You scared me! I didn’t even hear you-wait, your majesty, wait! I didn’t go back on my word. I need your help. Please.” You pleaded while frozen to your spot on the stern. “She’s hurt. She came to me for help. I can’t lift her onto the ramp and then onto the boat alone but if you could help me. Not for me. For her. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

You had said it again. You had begged the god the same way you had done in that cave.

For the second time he was inexplicably moved to spare you.

The green sea turtle was young and healthy, you estimated around 200 to 250 lbs just by her sheer size. He showed absolutely no difficulty lifting up and placing the animal in the containment tub.

“I kept my word, you know.” You said as you quickly moved to grab a flashlight to inspect the shell. “I didn’t step into the water once. But this is my job, what I’m passionate about. I can’t just sit back and stay inside my cabin knowing there’s someone out here that needs me. If this gets me killed, so be it. Just let me make sure she gets treatment, an open shell like this is dangerous. I don’t want an infection to set in.”

You lost yourself in your work. Quickly diagnosing what you could without your equipment, writing it all down, and making preparations to get back to the cabin and contact the right people before you noticed that he was still there; watching your every move as you made it, concealing whatever he felt behind the strong confident body language of a god.

“You are different.” His head tilted to the side as he allowed himself to see you, to truly see you. “Her pain is soothed by your touch and you called out to her in the water. I saw you. How?”

“No, I didn’t do that. I was just, um, trying something. It’s a coincidence.”

“How did you know where to guide your boat in the darkness?”

You didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve got good instincts. I have to take her back to land and call the closest rehab facility. Will you allow me that much?” You asked, not wanting to rush him and ask the deity that may or may not decide to end your life to leave so you could get the turtle to safety as quickly as possible.

He bowed his head in agreement and you did your best not to sigh in relief right in front of him. It was left unsaid but it was understood and this would not be your last encounter and that it would not be the last time the conversation was brought up. You didn’t think about that now, or you tried not to at least, as you started bringing in the ramp and calling up the anchor to start your return to shore.

You had a job to do.

The god’s sentencing would have to wait.

☀

You had caught the attention of a god unlike any on the surface world had before.

There were no early signs of how much your life would change in the simple refusal of leaving the place you were slowly carving out a home after a lifetime of denying yourself one. The things you wished you could change were how you had gotten there; you would do anything to bring back your mentor. The past could not be changed but the future could be forged into whatever you desired.

There were so many stories to tell of how you got to where you are and you intended to share them. It’s been a long journey to get here.

To your boat sitting alone in the middle of dark waters, welcomed, with moonlight shining overhead.

With you sitting on the stern, hand in the water, calling out to the depths to the king that had stolen your heart as if it had always been meant for him.

It always took a moment and you could not see into the inky black waves but you could feel him approaching and your heart melted when a hand took yours within the water and laced your fingers together.

“You came.” You smiled, using your other hand to move his hair away from those eyes you loved so much.

“I always will when you are the one calling. Join me. I have much to show you.”

☀

((A/N: I'm excited to be actually inspired to write for the first in so many years! This is part one of many one shots that won't be tied to each other so they can be read in any order! If you got to this point and you want to talk about the movie, I'm just one message away! L'iik'ik Talokan!))

#namor #namor x reader #namor x you #black panther wakanda forever #mcu fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #L'iik'ik Talokan #namor x y/n #tenoch huerta #El Dios de la Brisa

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semisolidmind · 2 months

Note

What happens when they outlive angel? Since poppy was first created in the 50’s it seems like being preserved as toys has granted them longer lifespans if not technical immortality, so angel aging is going to become a problem sooner or later, and I’m kinda wondering what happens when the inevitable comes. I made myself sad thinking about this and now all of you will be too, suffer with me

(i was thinking about this as well, uuuugghhhh)

it's so so sad. what will the toys do without their one advocate, the one person who truly understands them and what they represent? when the one good home they've ever had is gone, they've got nowhere else to go.

so, they stay.

when y/n dies, the toys have a quiet burial for them in their backyard, under a big shady tree. they make a simple marker from rocks, and pick wildflowers nearby to lay on the grave. none of them speak. it was hard enough digging the grave, and unbearably difficult to lay their savior to rest.

the house is horribly quiet afterwards.

poppy is likely the strong one throughout all this. she's had the most experience saying goodbye to people she cares about (thanks to her longevity), and she attempts to maintain a sense of optimism about it all. they'll all be ok, she's sure of it. they'll find their way through this, like always. it's what y/n would have wanted. kissy withdraws into herself further, following poppy's lead and trying not to cry.

dogday is devastated. devastated beyond all measure. he was the one to discover y/n when they passed. they were so pale, he could feel their warmth leaving them. their face looked so peaceful, they looked like they had just fallen asleep. he knew it was coming, they were getting older, but—but it's still not fair. it doesn't feel real. it can't be, his angel can't be dead, nothing has ever kept them down before, they always get back up, why couldn't they get back up—

...he tries to stay calm.

he took on the duty of grave digging. he took on the heavy burden of laying his beloved angel into the makeshift coffin they were able to cobble together. he could barely keep it together when he did. he managed, but not without crying.

that night, he waits until the girls have gone to bed before he closes himself off in y/n's bedroom. in the privacy of the once-shared space, dogday allows the truly desperate, heaving sobs he's been keeping in to finally leave his chest. tears mat down the fur on his face as he cries. he shakily grasps y/n's jacket to himself, wishing that there was some way, any way, that they could come back to him. he knows humans aren't meant to live forever. but that doesn't stop him from wishing that y/n could achieve the tentative immortality that the toys have, if only so that they could stay with him.

dogday becomes somber after his angel dies. they were his source of hope, his reason for living. they saved his life in ways beyond just physical. they were the only reason he was alive at all. without them, he's...he's not sure if he wants to keep going.

but he must. he knows he has to. y/n would want him to take care of the others, they'd want him to protect and provide for them. so, without any other purpose...that's what he does.

the toys live in their savior's house for as long as they're able. it's just their luck that the house is never put up for sale, that it's just sort of...forgotten about. it becomes a "haunted house in the woods," feared and avoided. they're more than happy to become the vague, cryptic monsters in local legends if it means that they're left alone.

nobody will come by to check on y/n for a while, and the toys will have power and food (their water comes from a well hooked up to the house) for at least a little while longer. and after that, they'll manage on what they can find in the woods.

they live as peacefully as they can for as long as they can.

#fr dogday may as well be a widower here #he and y/n werent married technically but they may as well have been #if this is canon dogday he goes completely hopeless after yn dies #but survivor dogday with his limbs intact would keep going and just get kinda bitter about everything

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dawndelion-winery · 2 years

Text

They're So-

How they talk about you

Ft. Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone

Arlecchino:

She speaks fondly of you, almost as if she were talking about family

She smiles softly, and anyone can tell you're the most important person in her life

Her words are curt, though, because she doesn't like other people prying into your lives

She'll only speak of you when asked

Unless she's with Columbina, then she won't shut up

Columbina finds it funny, probing every now and then when Arlecchino seems almost done only for Arlecchino to speak of your achievements with vigour once again

She's always so proud of you

And the fact that you're dating her? You have impeccable taste in women

She probably has a while presentation on why she loves you and Columbina has heard it at least seventeen times

The other harbingers have probably heard it at least five

Even the Tsaritsa isn't spared from hearing about how pretty your hair is, flecked with snow as light reflects off it

"Arlecchino, how are things with you?"

"All is well, my s/o recently-"

Yeah, she just goes on

Capitano:

He talks about you like he's your knight who's helplessly pining for his master but cannot admit he's in love because that would be preposterous

Which is ridiculous because you're sure you're way more into him than he is you

Wrong. You can never love him more than he loves you - he will always love you more and shower you in it

He thinks you're beautiful in every sense of the word, and he makes it known to everyone

"Are those the new uniforms? Oh, it's nothing, I was just thinking the colour would suit y/n. Don't you think so?"

"Yes, lor-"

"Yes, yes, they'd look good in anything, what was I thinking"

There is only one person willing to listen to him and that's Childe because the ginger gets to spar with him in exchange

Cue Capitano effortlessly pinning Childe down as he rambles about how you once stepped on his chest in a similar way and looked stunning while you did it

Childe:

Anything and everything he sees will be likened to how amazing you are

He just tasted some really good food? Hey that reminds him of that meal he shared with you, all good tastes better when it's eaten with you

^^has offered to invite subordinates to meals with you but they know better than to accept

That's his special time with you and if they encroach on that time...they'd be goners

So all anyone can really do is smile and nod along in agreement as he sings your praises

He's lucky Pulcinella sees him as his adopted kid of sorts or he'd have hit him upside the back of his head for never shutting up

The old man only ever sighs at his youth, shaking his head at the devoted, passionate puppy love Ajax had for you

He even keeps a stack of photos of you in one of those folding wallet things that he flips open when he wants to talk about you

Which makes for very exasperated subordinates who have to listen to him ramble about you at meetings because he insists they're not as awestruck as he is because they haven't seen you in the moment

"That's fine, here, let me help you understand" *whips out pictures* "So you see here, this is them-"

Yeah, they're in for a long story time

Dottore:

He seems so nonchalant that anyone would think he had no interest in you

He barely speaks of you to anyone except to mention your input which makes it seem like you're just another poor sod who works under him

Until someone dared to voice that thought

"You could treat them better?"

"Lord Dottore, I-"

"Go on, do elaborate. Exactly what can you give them that I don't already? What can you provide that could possibly measure up to my y/n's worth?"

Oh they're in for an earful, because he'll criticise everything about them, from appearance to talents, their fears and beliefs

All while praising how you could never be compared to such scum

It's a wonder how they were still standing at the end of- nevermind, they dropped to their knees the moment Dottore walked off

He's just a teeny bit scary like that, y'know?

Pantalone:

It's hard to catch him talking about you without you there because,,,well he takes you everywhere

After all, how could he not want to show you off to everyone?

So yeah, he will just straight up fawn over you to others in front of you

Embarrassed? Deal with it, you're free to hide your face in his chest as he hides you in his huge coat, but that's all you're getting

No, you can't leave without him, what's he going to do without you there to hold his hand?

Surely you wouldn't deprive him of the warmth he can only get from holding you close?

He especially likes to praise you when shopping

New shipment just in? Well those jewels really bring out your eyes, he should have them made into a ring for you

You'll never have nothing to wear because he insists on getting you something new whenever he can and then telling everyone how incredible it looks on you

Of course, shopkeepers and merchants aren't going to disagree with him when he says you look stunning in their wares

So you've practically everyone reminding you that you are indeed the loveliest partner for Lord Regrator, what a darling couple you make etc

With the man himself fueling it all

Taglist[send an ask to be added/removed]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @aqui-soba @euphoric-author @paradise-creator @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @loverofthe-stars @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @yuzuricebun @chaosinanutshell @heizours @codename-hiraeth @andreiling01 @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating

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bipanicoverthegravessiblings · 3 months

Note

Can we have Andrew and Reader transforming into half demon?

You can do it with Ashley together with Reader (separately) if you want.

Reader would have been with the Graves family since episode 1, as she was an exchange student but ended up being abandoned along with her Graves siblings.

She would be a cold, relaxed, indifferent person, a little sociopathic, a little temperamental but kind when they meet.

Reader would have been injured in the Hitman confrontation when she went to save Andrew (let's be honest, this kid would never be able to shoot the Hitman the first time with him being all nervous).

So to treat her injuries correctly they decided to use the demon to heal her, the demon doesn't like the idea of healing someone but he decides to heal her but still angry with this 'disrespect' the demon turns her into a half demon (similar to Jennifer Body the film).

That if she wants to stay alive she has to eat human flesh or drink blood.

If I had a nickel for every time I was requested to write a reader who’s an exchange student staying with the Graves Family- I’d have 4 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened 4 times already

Andrew Graves x Half Demon!Reader

Andrew’s head was pounding

His eyes were wide with terror as he stared down at you in his arms

The events kept playing in his head, over and over like a broken record

He had found the hitman in Ashley’s spontaneously stupid game of hide-and-seek

Although, what was she expecting?

It was an amateur with a gun against a skilled killer with a knife

Of course he wasn’t going to do well!

So, you did the only thing you could think of to save him

Save the boy who you’ve lived alongside since high school

Who’s been nothing but kind and patient to you..

Push him away as the hitman lunged

So, here you lay..

Barely breathing in his arms

While the hitman laid dead nearby

Andrew, in a blind rage finally fired the gun. Draining it dry of any bullets in there in hopes of killing him

And, he achieved his goal

The hitman was dead

And it didn’t look like long til you’d be you…

“Well- you’ve successfully wasted all of our ammo.” Ashley grumbled, picking up her discarded gun. She wiped off any grass blades or dirt that stuck to the pristine silver of it.

If Andrew wasn’t still in shock, he would yell at her. Yell at her for having the audacity to worry more about her gun’s ammo than their dead friend! Yell at her for foolishly trusting him to kill the hitman and then running off! If you hadn’t jumped in, he would be dead…

He should be dead.

Andrew furrowed his brow, tears forming much to his dismay. As he shut his eyes, they fell in twin streams. His hands shook, gripping on to your body as it slowly lost its warmth. He quietly sobbed, trying his best to not make them too loud or pathetic. If he had been better with the gun…if he didn’t hesitate…you would still be…

“Andy!” He felt something cold tap the back of his head, breaking him from his mellow dramatic moment. Ashley stared down at him with frustration, “Come on! Let’s ditch the bodies, someone was bound to hear your bitch crying by now..”

“Are you serious?!” Andrew stood up, still holding you in his arms. He thrusted his arms forward, pushing Ashley back with your dead weight, “Look at her! She’s dying!” He was emotional. Erratic. But he didn’t care.

“I can see that!” His sister pushed his arms back, and Andrew held you close to his chest, “Now put her down before anyone comes by!”

“…no.”

He wasn’t yelling anymore, just staring down at you. Ashley’s eyes widened, before her face became a scowl.

“No?”

“No!”

Ashley, pinched the bridge of her nose, “Okay- yeah- ssuuurreeee! Let’s just carry a dead body around! Want me to stick my hand up her ass and sit her on my lap like a puppet so you can pretend you’re talking with her?” She roughly poked Andrew’s forehead, “Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

“Well I’m not leaving her!” Andrew snapped back, making Ashley flinch ever so slightly. He didn’t seem to care though as he turned his attention back down to you.

Both were quiet for a while, probably longer than they should have because people would be coming by soon to see the commotion. Ashley could see the thoughts running behind her brother’s eyes, clearly thinking of something to fix this…to fix you.

She didn’t understand what the fuss was about though. You were just dead weight before, and now you are literally. Plus, she never liked the looks her brother gave you. You were better off dead in her eyes, and if anyone was going to kick the bucket, it would’ve been you…

But Andrew didn’t want to leave you behind. Sentimental bastard. What was he expecting? You to just- snap out of being dead? It wasn’t that easy!

….or….was it?

Ashley’s hand drifted over the front pocket of her shorts, the imprint of the demon trinket visible. Andrew saw her subconscious motions out of the corner of his eye and perked up. Where hope formed on his face, Ashley scowled.

“No!”

“Give it here!”

Andrew set your body down, lunging for his sister for the trinket. The pair fell to the ground, wrestling one another for the trinket.

“Let! Go!”

“No! It’s mine!”

In the end, Ashley didn’t win. Andrew, for as gangly as he is, was still stronger than her and managed to get the trinket away. He cupped it in his hands, standing up and observing it quizzically. There was an ominous aura to this dream catch esc thing, but he didn’t care.

“The demon..”

“Andrew, no!”

“Let’s take Y/N to the cultists lair—“

“Andrew!”

“Summon the demon—“

“You asshole- are you even listening?!”

“And get her back!”

Andrew grinned from ear to ear, his arms held out at the genius of his plan.

So- this is what it felt like to be Andrew, Ashley lamented. She got why he was such a stick in the mud all the time now.

Before she could object, Andrew was already picking up your body.

“Come on! Let’s go! Everyone should be gone by now!”

Despite Ashley’s insistence that it wouldn’t work and they should cut their losses, Andrew persisted

Eventually the two snuck you into the cultists’ meeting room

Shockingly, everything was still set up from when Andrew had previously visited.

It made for a quick and easy ritual

Ashley’s demon friend was less than happy to be bothered though….

“tAr SoUl….wHaT iS tHiS?”

The dark, red eyed blob stared angrily up at Ashley- who gestured to your dead corpse like a game show assistant would show off a car.

“A body?…”

“I rEqUiRe FrEsH sOuLs..” the demon skittered around the body, prodding it with its tendrils, “tHiS iS aLrEaDy DeAd!”

“I know but-“ Ashley groaned, pointing to Andrew with her thumb, “My dumbass brother draws the line at necrophilia and wants her back.”

“I’m sorry- WHAT?!”

Andrew objected, completely disregarding the fact that they were in the presence of a demon, “Do you REALLY think the only reason I want to bring her back is so I can have sex with her?!”

“Well?” Ashley looked at him blankly, “Isn’t it?”

“…..” Andrew adverted his eyes to the ground, “It’s…partly true…”

“I fucking knew it.” Ashley sighed, completely exasperated by her brother’s idiocy, “I can’t believe you’re using MY demon connections so you can get your dick wet without feeling like a bad person! News flash Annnddyyyyy~” she gave him that shit eating grin she knew he despised, “You’ve done much worse.”

“Shut your whore mouth!”

“Make me pussy!”

“EnOuGh!”

The siblings stopped their bickering, Andrew pausing as he had grabbed the collar of Ashley’s shirt. They stared at the demon, looking more like their parent just scolded them than a demon yelling at them to stop their bickering.

The demon floated very close to Andrew’s face, causing him to release his sister and step back, “yOu WiSh To UsE mY pOwErS tO rEvIvE tHe MoRtAl?”

Andrew nodded.

“tHeN wHaT iS iT yOu OfFeR?..”

Andrew’s face contorted as he tried to think, “Uhhhh…”

Ashley stood behind the demon, smugly smiling at her cornered brother, “Haha! Bet ya didn’t think this far, didya?”

“Shut up woman!—“

Andrew immediately regretted raising his voice, as the demon’s red eyes glowed menacingly- almost staring holes into his retinas. He gulped, wishing he could tell Ashley to call off her guard demon- but that would only make things worse for him. Here he was, with no souls to offer a demon- and the demon already didn’t like him for his foolish request and yelling at his ‘tar soul’.

“wElL?…” the demon broke the silence that wafted through the air.

Andrew’s eyes widened, “O-Okay! Ummm..” he searched his brain for anything, any idea on how to revive you when he blurted out the first thing he landed on, “Souls! I can get you two souls for bringing back Y/N’s!”

“aNd WhErE aRe ThEsE sOuLs?”

“Well, I don’t have them now-“ The demon growled and Andrew tensed, “But! But! I can get them to you very soon! Yeah! How’s that sound?”

The red eyed blob stared at Andrew for a few moments, clearly considering his deal before it turned around and made its way to your corpse, “VeRy WeLl…BuT yOuR fAiLuRe FoR pAyMeNt UpFrOnT wIlL cOmE wItH cOnSeQuEnCeS..”

With those words, the room went pitch black. By the time the fluorescent lights returned, the demon was gone. Andrew lunged for your body, kneeling down beside you.

“Y/N?…” he shook you a little, “Y/N?”

His face faltered for a moment, fear coursing through him before he felt your body move. Your breathing was slow…but you were breathing! He cupped your face in his hands, waiting anxiously for you to open your eyes.

And you did.

And then you spoke.

“..A-….Andrew?”

And like that- you were back!

Sore, with some blood gone

But back nonetheless!

You felt….strange though

Upon coming down from his high of overwhelming joy, Andrew noticed just how cold you were

You didn’t feel chilly at all

But you felt cold to the touch

Along with that, you couldn’t get the taste of blood out of your mouth

It was hard to decipher which was the result of having been a corpse for half an hour…

…or what was from being brought back by a demon

But, Andrew had a debt to pay

So that can be worked out later

Returning to the motel parking lot, the hitman’s car was still there

And no one was around yet

So you took that and set off

You slept most of the ride

It was a rough night of…ya know

Dying

So you deserved to sleep

Though your dreams were…strange

Images of red

Blood spewing as you bit into the neck of a screaming person

You didn’t get a good look at them until their body was a mangled mess of torn limbs with bits of flesh taken out of them

Your face stained with blood

The delicious sensation filling your mouth

At first you chalked this up to a guilt dream

You feeling bad for eating that cultist a while back

But…no

This wasn’t a guilt dream

You never feasted on that man like an animal

You never went back for seconds, depraved of the taste

And in those dreams you never felt what you were feeling in that moment

…desire for more

Your concerning dream was interrupted by a sudden sensation of pain as a projectile was thrown at your head.

“Ow!” You sat up, your hand shooting to the assaulted spot on your head, “What the?..”

“I told you to wake her!” Andrew hissed.

“I did!” Ashley objected, “My shoe woke her up!”

“You little..”

Andrew’s grumbling trailed off, turning to look at you from the driver’s seat. You gave him a reassuring nod to let him know you were okay. He sighed in slight relief. How that the- initial pain in your head was gone, you looked out the window to see just where you three were. The backseat passenger window showed you a parking with cars lining the spots as far as you could see.

“Where…are we?” You asked, turning back to look at the siblings, “And what are we doing here?”

“Cheapskate here says it’s free parking.” Ashley replied bluntly, not even giving Andrew’s annoyed look a glance.

You looked between them, “Don’t we- need to pay that demon back? How’s free parking going to get us two souls?”

“Go on Annnndddd—“ Ashley paused as Andrew gave her a look, “…drew. Andrew. Tell Y/N your brilliant plan!”

Andrew sighed, resting his hands on the wheel as he tried to explain the plan, “Alright, so…we need two souls for that demon. We- are also running low on money. So…we’re going to kill two birds with one stone.”

You nodded, though his and Ashley’s drastically different expressions told you there was more. So- you prodded.

“And those birds arreee?”

“…our parents.”

The rational thing was to claim that they couldn’t do such a thing! Their parents took you in after all!

…although you’d be lying

Mrs Graves really only agreed because she’d get a cut of the exchange student program funds

Other than provide you a roof, she ignored you like she did her other children

Same goes for her husband, who didn’t do much of anything beside give you awkward hellos before he went to work

So you weren’t really against robbing and killing them

The events played as normal, pretending the fire that “killed everyone” was sensational news coverage and you all were fine!

You’re “politely” told to go to bed early, bunking with Ashley in the basement while Andrew took the couch.

Though, being honest…

You didn’t trust yourself around Ashley alone

Ever since you’ve been alive you’d had this…animalistic urge to tear into someone like a carnivorous animal

To hold them to the ground and watch the light leave their fear filled eyes as you tore out their throat

And Ashley was defenseless

Sleeping just inches from you in the spare bed

Her gun was empty, you knew this

So she wouldn’t shoot you

So you did the both of you a favor, and got out of there

Your eyes lingered on the basement stairs, the bed and Ashley’s sleeping form still very in much in your view. You had to tear your eyes away to avoid running back down there and giving in to the voice in your head telling- no, demanding you devour her.

Your relationship with her was complicated enough, and you knew with enough convincing you would. She was always cold with you, trying to tear a wedge between you and Andrew as you both got closer. But she also was the closest thing you had to a sister or any actual familial connection. You don’t think you could bear that guilt.

You drew your eyes to the couch, Andrew fast asleep on it. You could trust yourself around him, you know you could. The voice had nothing against Andrew. So you crossed over to the couch, kneeling down beside it.

Andrew’s unconscious state was fragile, stirring almost immediately as he felt a presence join him. His eyes opened with some strain, his voice littered with tiredness.

“Y/N?…” he sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Did Ashley kick you out?..”

“No.” You responded. You debated telling him why you were here if Ashley hadn’t kicked you out, but what could you tell him? ‘Hey I wanted to eat your sister’? You couldn’t do that. So instead you asked, “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

A small blush painted Andrew’s cheeks, as he nodded slightly. He pulled the covers aside, scooting closer to the back of the couch so you’d have room. You climbed onto the couch with him, your arms wrapping around his torso. You felt him shiver from the closeness, almost forgetting how cold you were. You didn’t care though. You craved the closeness more than you craved tearing into Andrew’s flesh and eating his heart in front of him.

You furrowed your brow, pushing those thoughts down as Andrew slowly covered you two up.

“You…alright?” Andrew tentatively asked. Obviously you weren’t alright, by this time last night you were dead.

You racked your mind about what to say, nuzzling into his sweater for comfort as you spoke, “I’m- fine….just ever since I….”

“Died?”

“Yeah, that….I’ve had….urges.”

“Like- what?”

“…like devouring someone like an animal.”

He went quiet after that. You can’t exactly say what you expected reaction wise. Disgust? Fear? Silence felt appropriate to be fair. You weren’t anticipating his next words when he processed the information…

“…three birds with one stone then.”

The plan went as the siblings had- semi planned.

Scaring the parents with an unloaded gun into the basement

Removing the limit from Mrs Graves credit card so they’d have some cash

Handing their souls to the demon

And Andrew leaving you to enjoy your meal

You felt like an animal. A hungry, ravenous animal.

Your breath was shaky, eyes wide with horror at what you’d done. You and the basement were bloodied mess, and your host parents were mangled beyond recognition.

It didn’t help that you were on your hands and knees, chin drenched with blood as what you had done replayed in your mind. The sounds of the basement stairs creaking broke you out of your trance. You cowered momentarily before realizing it was Andrew.

“Wow- you..” he paused, covering his mouth as he gagged from the smell of blood, “Really did a number on them..”

Hot tears welled in your eyes as you stared up at him. You trembled, falling further to the ground than you already were. Your forehead met the basement floor as you sobbed.

“I’m sorry!” You wailed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“

It was all you could say. What else could you? You shook and sobbed like the wounded animal you were as Andrew slowly approached you. He fell to his knees in front of you, and pulled you into a hug. His parents’ blood stained his sweater, but he didn’t care. He’ll wash it later.

You trembled in his arms as he rubbed gentle circles into your back, soft shushes filling your ears as he comforted you. You buried your face into his shoulder, shaking and crying from what you’d done. This was different than when you ate the cultist back at the apartment, then you didn’t feel so….dehumanized.

He was prepared like a dish. Not bitten into like a wolf delivering the killing blow to a deer. He was eaten for survival. They were eaten to satiate this desire you had.

Though to Andrew, this downside was worth it, so long as he could hold you again.

#yeah this is long enough I’m not making an Ashley version #unless there’s enough pushback for one #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #andrew graves x reader #x reader

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bubblegump-1-nk · 18 days

Text

Shall I Write It in a Letter

pairing: Gryffindor!Reader x Theodore Nott

summary: In which Theo wakes up one morning and realizes he can no longer not have you, so he writes you a letter. But when that letter gets lost, things become complicated. - inspired by Anne with an E; song: Bloom by The Paper Kites.

Warnings: angst that could be fixed by simple communication 😒, hints of cheating

P.S: I super duper highly recommend to listen to the songs either before, during, or after you read my fics . Not only do they encapsulate what the fic is about, but they’re also just super good songs!! <33d

~~~

Christmas break had been in session for about a week and a half, and Theo was spending his time off at home. Although he was sad to be away from his friends, he was happy for the much needed alone time.

The sun was shining brightly through the dark velvet curtains in his room, and he slowly woke up from his dreams. As his eyes fluttered open, he felt a pang of pain in his heart. His dream had been of you, specifically of kissing your soft lips on a warm summers day by the Black Lake. He’s found that more recently than ever, his head is full of you, as is his heart. As he’s laying in his bed, he closes his eyes once more, trying to hold onto the bits of you he won’t ever experience. In this moment, thoughts of you more prevalent than ever before, he realizes he doesn’t have to not have you. Quickly, becoming fully awake, he springs out of his bed and walks quickly to his desk.

He pushes all the papers and miscellaneous items off the surface, and pulls out a paper and quill. He’s become fully aware of just how much he longs for you, and why should he not be able to tell his best friend that he’s in love with her? He’s been yearning for your love for as long as he can remember, and it has finally transformed him into a fool, giving him the confidence to express his love for you.

My dearest y/n,

I’ve found that you’ve been circling my thoughts more than usual lately, so much so that I can hardly call them my own anymore. I think about you all the time, yet I’ve been too much of a coward to say anything. But I’ve realized that I don’t want to wake up one day, either in the near future or in the years to come, and regret not trying, because of pride, or embarrassment, or just simple fear. I need to escape this torture chamber I’ve made for myself, where I must hold you at arms length though I know I wish for nothing more than to be wrapped in your embrace at all hours of the day. So I need you to tell me if it’s all in my head. That the lingering touches and longing stares are just simple delusions I’ve created in my mind. But if they’re not, and Merlin how I hope they’re not, I’m telling you here and now that I am in love with you y/n l/n, and I don’t think I can bear to be apart from you any longer. I also want to go ahead and apologize for telling others I loved you, that they knew before you did, but to be fair I think everyone knew before I did, too. You are my breath of fresh air, the light in all my darkness, my proof that life is pure and good and that happiness is achievable. I may not be a religious person, but if worshipping you was a religion I’d be its most devoted follower. And if my feelings are not reciprocated, please find a way to put this past you because I could not endure losing you as my best friend as well.

Yours Forever, Theo.

After pouring his heart out onto the page, he carefully placed it into an envelope, wrote your name on it, and walked to give it to owl. After sending it away, he walked back to his room, his anxiety suddenly crashing through. Thoughts swarmed his head: She doesn’t love me, I’ve ruined everything, I should stop it from reaching her. But his heart quickly stopped his brain from doing too much damage. You needed to know or else Theo would live in agony for the rest of his life. Upon reaching his room, he sat back at his desk and sent letters to each of the Slytherin boys, confessing what he’s done. He even slipped a copy of the letter to Mattheo, the only one he felt he could truly trust with that piece of his heart.

~~~

It had been two days since the letter had been sent. Had his owl reached you by now? Had you seen it? What were you thinking?

He was an utter mess, his mind swarming with questions and his body teeming with anxieties.

Soon it was 4 days, then 6, then a week, and then the last day of break rolled around the corner. Still he had received no response from you, perhaps you wished to talk in person? His heart hoped that that was the answer, and that the lack of a letter was not your rejection

~~~

You got onto the train just as it was about to take off, thanks to your missing jumper. The train was packed with kids saying their hellos and catching up, and with much effort you finally found Harry, Hermione, and Ron and got inside the compartment.

“Is it just me or is it crazier than usual?” You ask as you sit down.

“Definitely crazier, apparently Lavendar and Parvati got into a huge fight over break so everyone’s running around to hear about it.” Hermione explains as she hands you some candy she bought for you.

You say your thanks and continue talking with your friends when there’s a knock on your compartment.

“Hi Dean!” You say as you get up to slide open the door. You step out quickly to talk with the tall Gryffindor boy.

You have a friendly conversation, lasting about 10 minutes before entering the compartment again.

“What was that about.” Ron asks, before anyone else has the chance to.

“I saw him at Diagon Alley over the break and he asked me out. We hung out a couple times over the break.” You explain.

“Never would have expected that one.” Says Harry.

You raise you eyebrow at him, “and why would that be?”

“Just always assumed it would be Nott.” Harry says.

“I can’t just sit around like a fool waiting for him. He’s shown he just sees me as his best friend and the quicker I get over him the better.” You explain.

“But, he hasn’t shown you that he feels that way.” Explains Hermione, who is team Theo and y/n.

“He hasn’t shown me any differently. Wake me up when we get there I’m taking a nap.” You say, tired of constantly being reminded of your inability to be with Theo.

~~~

You arrive at the castle, and you make your way through the crowds to find your Slytherin friends. Just as you spot their group, Dean Thomas stops you.

“Hey, I’ve saved you a seat next to me, ok?” He asks, while his hands snaked around your waist.

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” You say to him, giving him a small smile before turning your attention back to the group

“Merlin.” Theo says, causing the group to turn their heads. He had seen you walking around the crowd, and had turned away quickly when you had finally spotted them. He hadn’t seen you on the train and obviously hadn’t received your letter, so a part of him still hoped that you just wanted to talk to him in person. His anxiety began to take over him when he saw you walking towards him - would you tell him to fuck off? That he’s some sort of creep best friend? Or would you tell him that your heart beat for him? - that’s when he saw it. Dean Thomas gripping your waist and you sending him that sweet, tooth rotting smile his way.

“Oh shit.” Said Mattheo, who had been the first to spot the pair.

“Fuck that’s messed up.” Said Draco.

“I’m sorry mate.” Enzo said, patting Theo’s shoulder.

“How’d that even happen?” Asked Blaise, confused because he had never really seen you interact with Dean.

Mattheo sent him a look, warning him to drop it.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Mattheo said, gently grabbing Theo’s arm, pulling him away towards the dining room.

Theo could still feel his heart breaking, each shard falling to the pits of his stomach and stabbing him. He got his answer at least, not only did you not love him, you clearly didn’t care enough about him to even write back to him. And now, his God-sent Angel, was flaunting around with another man. How could the sweet girl he grew up with, the one that showed him that even salt could be beautiful, break his heart and crumble its pieces in your fist?

You were confused when you suddenly saw the group leave, making their way into the dining hall. You tried to get to them, but the crowds of people pushed you back until finally, you realized it was fruitless when the crowd began pushing you back towards the Gryffindor side of the Great Hall. You decided to just sit down, and that you would try to find the group, Theo specifically because you missed him deeply, after dinner.

Dinner passed quickly after the tedious sorting ceremony. You talked with your friends and caught up with those around you, sneaking glances towards the Slytherin table as often as possible. Finally, Dumbledore dismissed the students and you all made your way towards your common rooms. Since it was the first day back, teachers were making sure students went directly to their rooms, leaving you no time to find the Slytherins. You decided it would be best for you to just wait until tomorrow, though you thought you might implode if you spent one more second away from Theo. A thought that made you feel instantly guilty when Dean appeared at your side.

The next day rolled around, and still you hadn’t been able to get ahold of the Slytherins. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have assumed they had been avoiding you. Finally, right before lunch you entered the library to grab some books when you saw the boys congregated in the back. You made your way over to them, carefully stepping around the stacks of books Madame Pince was reorganizing.

Once you finally reached the group, you went to announce your presence before Theo looked away from Draco (who was telling some boring anecdote) and looked down at you. Before you had any time to give him a smile or say your hello’s, he detached himself from the group and stormed right past you, through the stacks of books, and out the door. You stood shocked, facing the doors before finally turning back around to face the group. Your face was painted with an expression of confusion, which only deepened you received a nasty look from Enzo.

“We’ll be on our way now.” Said Enzo, walking past you with Blaise following close behind.

What..?” You finally managed to get out in your state of shock.

“Listen, y/n, just do us all a favor and leave us alone, especially Theo.” Mattheo said, in quite a rude tone before walking passed you. You stood confused and shocked at the interaction that had just unfolded. What had you done? Why were the boys mad at you? What had you done to Theo?

~~~

“I just have no idea what it could possibly be.” You said to Hermione, as you paced around your dorm room, recounting the story from earlier.

“Maybe it’s Dean. Maybe he’s just jealous.” Hermione offered.

“No, but I’ve had flings with guys before, and it’s not like he hasn’t been with girls before. It’s some thing deeper than that I know it.” You state, picking at your fingernails.

“And your sure you haven’t done anything? I mean you can’t think of one thing that could possibly have led to this?” Hermione asks, just as confused about the situation as you.

“Yes, I mean I literally cannot think of one thing that could have led to this. I would never hurt Theo, ever.” You say, plopping down on you bed, exasperated by the days events.

“I’m sorry y/n but I have absolutely no idea why they’re acting like this.” Hermione said, sad she couldn’t be of more help.

“It’s fine Hermione, it’s not your fault. I’m just going to go to bed.” You say, wanting this nightmare to end.

Could you really be losing your best friend to a reason unknown to you? Not only can you not be with the man that you love because he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but now you may have just lost him completely. You fall asleep after hours of rolling back and forth contemplating your complicated relationship with Theo, and even in your unconscious state you cannot escape him because he peeps into your dreams.

~~~

The following week is agony. Your best friend won’t talk to you, let alone allow himself to be in the same room as you, the boys you’ve known since childhood give you nasty looks every chance they get, you have to entertain a relationship with Dean your not even sure you want to get into and your teachers are stuffing you with assignments. All you need is a good party with lots and lots of alcohol. Once Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you can feel a slight weight lift from your shoulders.

~~~

You walked into the Slytherin common room with Dean. Pansy, Daphne and some other Slytherin girls hosted the first party since break and seeing as you’ve been close with them since 1st year, you were clearly invited. You decided you were going to look your absolute best for this party: you’re makeup was flawless, your hair done to perfection, and the corset and low-waisted mini skirt you were wearing was doing your figure perfect justice.

“Fuck me.” Said Theo as he saw you walk in with Dean. “I’m going for a smoke outside.” He says.

“Need company?” Mattheo asks, not wanting to leave his vulnerable friend alone.

“Nah mate, thanks though.” He says, before walking outside quickly, before he can see anymore of you.

It had only been a few minutes, and you had already downed about 3 drinks. Once the alcohol started to hit, you detached yourself from Dean’s grip making up some excuse, before finding your way towards the Slytherin boys.

You spotted Mattheo sitting on the arm rest of a couch, sipping out of a plastic cup. You walked up to him, hips still swaying to the music.

“Where’s Theo?” You stated, once you reached him, your confidence booming.

“What do you want?” Mattheo asks, looking up at you with contempt.

“I need to find Theodore Nott. Where is he?” You state.

“You have some serious nerve.”

“What?” You ask, taken aback.

“Listen, y/n, you’re once of my closest friends, but Theo’s my best mate. And what you did, that shit’s just fucked up. Like seriously, I didn’t even know you were capable of that.” He says, disgust leaking out of his words.

“I’m sorry?” You say, confused by his words.

“Merlin y/n, I mean how dull can you be? You just expect everything to be all right after you not only completely ignore his letter where he fucking tells you he fucking loved you, but you turn up with some Levski (famous quidditch chaser) wannabe? I mean that’s some next level shit.” Mattheo says, getting up as he presents his rage induced speech.

“What letter?” You say, unaware of what he’s talking about.

Mattheo just stares at you, stuttering to get some words out.

“I said: what letter, Mattheo?” You say, much more sternly.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you never received it?” Mattheo asks, in shock.

“I don’t even know what I didn’t receive.” You say, exasperated.

“Just, wait right here, I’ll be right back!” Mattheo says, before running up the stairs towards the dorms.

You stand there in shock, your adrenaline pumping. Had you heard him right? Theo had sent you a letter confessing his love to you? How had you missed it?

“Here! Here! I have it!” Mattheo yelled, running towards you, waving a piece of parchment around in his hand.

“This. One.” Mattheo says, between breaths as he reaches you, handing you the parchment.

You rip it from his hands, reading it quickly yet thoroughly. Tears brim at your eyes, did he really feel this way? Merlin you felt so stupid, how could this have gotten lost?

“I-I…” you stuttered, unaware of what to say.

“Outside. He’s outside. Go!” Mattheo said, stilling catching his break.

“I- ok, thank you!” You say, before quickly running out the door, finding your way outside.

You see Theo sitting outside, smoking a cigarette. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and you swear in that moment that you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

“Theo! Theodore!” You yell to him, as you run towards his figure. The grass was still wet from the rain that had fallen earlier that day, and the blades of grass began to stick to your calfs.

Theo looks at you, before getting up and attempting to escape you.

“Theo, wait, please! Mattheo just showed me the letter! I never got it!”

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

“What?”

You finally catch up to him, breathing heavily.

“I never got your letter, I didn’t know about it until just now.” You explain, showing him the letter Mattheo had given you.

“What?” He said again, bewildered by what was going on.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, or your feelings. I just never got to read about them until tonight.”

“So, you’re telling me you never received it, at all?”

“No. I never got a letter.” You explain, your eyes searching his for some hint of how he was feeling.

“Did you read it?” Theo asked slowly.

“Yes, just now I did.”

“And…” Theo asked, hope returning to him and hitting him like a truck. He was filled with anxieties and he felts his stomach doing flips waiting for you to answer.

“Of course I’m in love with you, I thought I made it so obvious!”

“I thought I made it obvious!” Theo said with a laugh, all negative feelings and thoughts leaving his body and head at your confession.

“My heart quite literally beats for you, Teddy. I’ve never been so scared then when I thought I was losing you.”

“Really?” He asks. His eyes are lit up and he can barely contain his smile

“Yes you idiot!” You say, smiling wildly

“What about Dean?” He asks, afraid.

“Fuck Dean! It’s only ever been you, Teddy. It’ll always be you.” You say, staring up at him with nothing but love and devotion.

“Does this mean that you’ll have me?” He asks, grabbing your hands.

You nod vigorously, unable to get any words out as tears of happiness are threatening to spill if you utter a single word.

And with that, Theo dips down and kisses you. The kiss is deep and passionate. You two explore each others mouths, and your hands explore each others body. You taste every bit of each other, and feel each others hair, faces, arms, waists, chests, in ways that you’ve never felt before. You take this chance to make up for all the lost time you’ve spent pining for each other in secret. The kiss is hungry, yet gentle and Theo holds you close, as if if he doesn’t hold you as tightly as possible you’ll slip away from him. After a few minutes he pulls away, touching your forehead to his and holding your face in his hands.

“I’m so so sorry for believing the worst in you. I was just in so much pain. Ignoring you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” He states, referring to the week prior.

“It’s ok, Teddy. Let’s not worry about that now.” You say, causing his lips to come crashing down on yours again.

#slytherin boys #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #theodore nott #jealousyfic #harry potter #theodore nott x y/n #angst #theodore nott angst #theodore nott x you #theodore nott fluff #lost letters #the paper kites #anne of green gables #anne with an e #theo nott

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nottobehornyonthemain · 1 year

Text

I’m just going to throw my hat into the ring about Steve’s parents because I’m bored. But like, Let’s spice up the level of shitty parenting.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who’s actually a professional. Steve has said that she’s “super well respected” and, for as much as the fandom likes to play him as a dumbass, you don’t put people whoes only achievement is being a jealous housewife on your résumé, especially when you have another parent with a notable (ostensibly white collar) career.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who’s a news anchor, or a lawyer. Give me a Mrs. Harrington who worked her ass off to be taken seriously by men for the entire late 50’s and early 60’s. Give me a young, ambitious woman with hazel eyes at a mixer for the company she’s working for in Chicago one night, who caught the eye of the charismatic man with ridiculous fluffy brown hair.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who grew up with a veteran father who never really seemed to care. Give me a little boy waiting, every day, for his dad’s letters, waiting for his father Otis to get back from this horrible war. And then he does, and he’s a hero, and suddenly it’s like nothing his son does is worth his notice. When he’s 15 and gets into his first fight? Otis doesn’t even comment on his bruised face before he walks out the door in the morning. When he gets into college? His mother is the one to hand him the watch his parents allegedly both got him as a graduation present. When he gets a job! A good job, where he has his own office and his name on a plate on his desk, not so much as a card.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who promised himself that, if he ever had a son, he would notice. He would pay attention to his kid’s grades, and what they were doing in school. That he would be proud of whatever college his son got into. That if his kid was ever doing something stupid, drinking, fighting, smoking, he would care. And he would say something.

Give me a Mr. Harrington meeting a beautiful woman in Chicago one night, and somehow, convincing her to come back to Hawkins with him. Give me the big news engagement and the blowout wedding fit for two people with nowhere to go but up.

Give me the Harrington couple buying their house, and planning to wait a few years before they start having children. Give me them having their first child, a son.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington being offered the promotion she’s been working towards for years almost immediately after, and taking it.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who never really thought his wife would keep working when they had children, but being smart enough not to say anything about it. Give me them realizing that, between both of their jobs, plans change, and their son will be their only child.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who “doesn’t trust” her husband not because he might be cheating on her, but because, for as much as he can charm and schmooze with just about anyone, he has never had anyone tell him that he lacks actual understanding of his business. Give me a Mrs. Harrington seeing a stack of papers her husband brought home last night where the math doesn’t quite add up. Give me the blowout fight over his shady new business partner and the costs they could save if they just… cut a few corners. Give me her struggling to be taken seriously and explain to him that the consequences could be actual jail time and a complete destruction of their lives. Give me him hating that she thinks she knows better than him about his own business.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who keeps his promise to care about what his son is doing. Give me his unnecessary lectures, and comments and micromanagement whenever his son walks in the door.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who couldn’t care less what her son is doing as long as he’s alive. Give me her bitchy comments that have been her best defense in the professional world for so long rubbing off on her son.

Give me a Steve who’s let it shape him. Who got his brown eyes, and desire to be at the top of the social sphere as soon as possible from his mom. Who got his begrudging tendencies to care while still finding something to complain about from his dad.

Give me a Harrington couple who isn’t absent, exactly. Who have the occasional business trip, but are actually in town when most of this stuff goes down. Give me a house that’s almost always empty, not because no one lives there, but because Mrs. Harrington is out late again tonight because the boss needs to be sure everything is in perfect order for Monday. Because Mr. Harrington absolutely has to close this deal. Because Steve has practice for both swimming and basketball today.

Give me a Steve who craves the domestic because of this. Who doesn’t have big plans or ambitions. Who, at his center, just wants to be able to flop on the couch and watch movies with the people he cares about. Who wants family vacations, and kids, and a big house filled with noise. Give me a Steve who understands that that’s where his love of parties came from.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who watches as his son seems to completely throw away everything he worked so hard to give him. Give me the fights over the beer, and the weed, and the grades. Give me the bombshell that his son didn’t even manage to get into college, and the realization that he needs to learn to be responsible.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who comes home one night to Robin and Dustin eating cereal in his kitchen at midnight. Who doesn’t really know what to say, so he sets down his briefcase and eats a bowl of cereal while asking these children who they are and why they’re in his house. Give me a Mr. Harrington patting his son on the back the next morning and telling he how much he likes the nice girl who can speak every language, and the little boy who can recite the periodic table from memory. Give me a Mr. Harrington who knows he made the right decision when he made his son get a job of his own instead of just working for him.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who, when Steve informs her in the middle of a conversation that he has a boyfriend, doesn’t look up from the mirror where she’s applying her eyeliner.

Give me a Steve who’s had enough of her not caring and asks her, “really? You don’t have anything to say?”

Give me a Mrs. Harrington icily meeting his eyes in the mirror and saying, “Steven. You’ve been putting egg in your hair once a week since you were twelve and a girl in your class told you it makes it shiny, and you’ve been stealing my hairspray even longer.” Then goes back to lining her eyes.

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve and dustin #platonic stobin #steddie #implied at least #gay steve harrington #Harrington parents #in my head Mrs Harrington is a Lucile Bluth personality in an elle woods career #and Mr Harrington is just standard multi generational baggage man #honestly I’ve thought too much about backstory for everyone. ask me about Nancy’s one day #the sheep ramble analysis

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luxora · 6 months

Text

The Glory -> You Leave Them

Requested: No

Kdrama: The Glory

Genre: Angst.

Warnings: Mentions of murder. Mentions of bullying. Mentions of death. No remorse. Swearing. Violence.

A/N: I absolutely do not condone anything that was presented in the kdrama. No one should ever bully others. This is all purely fiction.

Moon Dong-eun

The apartment was remarkably quiet, not filled with the with your singing voice as you would flounder around the rooms, usually the kitchen, as you made dinner for the two of you. Dongeun closed the door behind her silently, dark eyes flinting across the room as she began to take her coat off. It was dark, not a single light on, a sign that you were not home.

She frowned.

You always were home before her, being a creature of routine as you always returned home after work, diligently waiting for her as she would be out doing her own work and alternative dealings with Yeojeong, productively placing all the puzzle piece of her plan together. She was close to achieving her revenge on everyone, time being her side as it always has been since her high school years. She had the five of them running around like headless chickens, flustered and terrified about her next moves. It was silently delightful, to see them so terrified of her presence, of her very lingering around the diameter of their lives, not really truly lifting a finger of direct interaction with them.

Mice do not truly feel terror towards a cat until they see it watching them, only then do survival instincts kick in, but Dongeun was not ready to pounce yet. She was simply biding her time until the ultimate position was set for her to deliver the final kill.

But aside from that, she was concerned on where you were. She pulled out her phone, checking to see if you had perhaps sent her a message about your whereabouts, something you always do even though she has stated that it is not necesarry.

Nothing.

Dongeun’s frown deepened as she pocketed her phone before reach out to switch on the lights, eyes blinking as they adjusted to the sudden light in the apartment, still hoping to catch a glimpse of you in the room.

“Y/N?” she called out, her voice leaving a slight echo in the empty room as it went unanswered.

A small bundle of unease began to form in Dongeun’s chest, not enjoying the aspect that you were not home like she expected. Throughout her life, Dongeun has never had anything that was constant, especially after her ordeals in high school, so when you stumbled into her life, it has been a concept she has never had to deal with before.

You were so...good. Dongeun has never been surrounded by something good or positive, her whole life until now being filled with pain, fear, and wrath. So when you were adamant to become involved in her life, slipping through the concealed cracks in her armor, she thought herself and you to be insane. Although Dongeun lost her sanity years ago, lost all sense of her humanity ever since that curling iron laid its first kiss to her skin.

But since meeting you, she felt that perhaps she will finally be able to feel a sense of normalcy in her life again. Or to just feel something again. She hasn’t quite be able to outright say what her feelings towards you were, but she knew that it was something that could be worthwhile. Something tangible and something that she can act upon which will not wind up with someone paying for their past sins.

But the feeling of unease was not welcomed and even though you did not answer the first time she called your name, she tried again, hoping that just perhaps you were someone deeper in the apartment that you simply did not hear her.

But you voice didn’t answer her back.

This was a strange circumstance, and Dongeun knew that she did not like it. Swallowing a bitter pill of nerves, Dongeun walked through the kitchen and headed towards your bedroom, it being the other likely place you would be aside from the kitchen. She opened the door without hesitance, hand going for the light switch, eyes moving to where your bed was, hoping to see your sleeping bundle in it.

But nothing. Your sheets were pressed and straight, not a single sign of disturbance on their immaculate design. Her eyes flinted across the room, your organization obvious to the naked eye but Dongeun froze when she noticed a piece of paper on your desk, a pen on top of it which indicated that something had been written down. While usually Dongeun respected your privacy, only entering your room when she required your assistance or when you finally managed to convince her to sleep beside you for the night, she could not help but forgo her previous reservations upon entering your room without you as she bee lined for your desk.

She immediately noticed the writing on the piece of paper, your cursive writing curling with one another, forming her name on the folded piece of paper, making the ball of unease increase as she reached out and picked it up from the desk, unfolding the piece of paper with slightly shaky fingers.

To Dongeun

There is nothing more that I want than you happiness. After everything that has happened to you, it is what you deserve.

I have tried to be a source of your happiness, to try be a semblance of what you can call happiness. But I don’t think that I am someone who is able to give you what you want.

Your revenge...it is what you want. And I understand why. I sincerely hope that you are able to find what you need Dongeun, but I am scared that I will fall into a hole which I will never get out of. And while you are happy to fall...I am scared to fall with you.

I am not sure when you will find this letter, but Dongeun, please don’t think I have left because of you. I have left because of myself. Because I am not strong enough to handle to consequences that may come from your revenge.

If this will add me to your list...then I accept it.

I just hope that you will hopefully find your happiness soon.

Goodbye

Dongeun stared at the piece of paper, rereading the word, a stone forming itself in her throat as she tried to get a handle of herself. And yet she could not stop the tear that escaped her eye, nor could she stop the following ones as she lowered herself to her knees, slumping over the letter as it fell from her fingertips to the floor.

The last time she cried was when she was saved from making the ending choice that winter in the river. When she was embraced by her landlady, giving her the comfort she so desperately craved. Afterwards, she became completely numb with her emotions, the only thing motivating her forwards in life was the ultimate revenge she was going to carry out against Yeonjin and the others.

And yet now she is finding herself beginning to bawl like she did all those years ago, her arms wrapping around her body as she attempted to comfort herself, halfheartedly patting herself as she slumped her head forward.

You were gone...and she had no idea where she could start to find you.

Her constant was gone. And you didn’t even realize just what you were to her. And it seems that she will never be able to tell you.

Joo Yeo-jeong

Both of you froze when you locked eyes, him already having stared at you in shock as he watched you shoving clothes into a suitcase, you not realizing he was there until you lifted your head. Neither of you said a word, just staring at each for a few long moments, either trying to figure out what to say or to truly determine if the other was in fact in the room.

But eventually you were the one who broke eye contact first, turning around to head back to the closet and yanking out more of your blouses, hurried undoing them from the hangers. Only then did Yeojeong hurry pass the threshold and headed towards you.

“Y/N, what on earth are you doing?”

“Packing.”

Your voice was firm, but he could hear the fragility of as you kept your head down, not daring to lock gazes with him. But he was not going to allow that, not when you were doing something sudden. He reached out to you and grabbed you by the arm, only for you to rip it out of his hand.

“Don’t touch me.” You hissed, still not looking at you as you shoved your blouse in the bag before grabbing another, only for Yeojeong to grab it before you.

“Stop. Y/N, what is going on?” he asked, tugging the piece of clothing closer to him as you reached out to grab it back. You paused for a moment before deciding to forgo the captive blouse, turning around and shoving the others in before heading back to the closet, him following quickly after you. “Y/N, what are you doing? Why are you pack? Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

Your words were as sharp as three daggers being plunged into his chest, curved blades that have truly wedged themselves into is sternum, causing excruciating pain while he was trying to determine your reasoning for such harsh words.

“W-Why? What did I do-”

His words got caught in his throat when you suddenly whirled around to look at him, eyes hard but red with tear streaks down your cheeks, clearly indicating to you that you have been crying. But before he could reach out to try wipe away the old remnants of tears, your words made the blood in his body freeze.

“Are you seriously going to try play dumb with what you did. To what you have been drawing out for the past years until you finally managed to achieve what you wanted?”

While you did not outright state what he did, he knew immediately what you were referring to. His revenge, his long, drawn out revenge which he finally managed to achieve last week. To watch the light fade away from that monster’s eyes, to see the blood seep out of his body, the sign of life escaping him, it had been wonderful. And the best thing about it is that it all seemed to be an accident, the pouncing of other prisoners on the monster. No one has suspected his participation in the attack, after all, he was just a doctor. The beast had been brought to the medical wing of the prison, but he already knew that the beast was gone, as he waited the entire time during the whole ordeal until his last breath was taken.

It was hours of pain for him, but Yeojeong, it was hours of bliss. And he made sure to treasure the memories in his mind.

But now...it seemed that he was no longer the only one who knew about it.

“H-How did you-”

“It doesn’t matter. But what does matter is that I am leaving.”

You whirled around and grabbed your favorite cloak, his eyes flicking to the closest to realize that all the clothes that he had gotten for you during the entire relationship was left hanging in the closet, you having no intention of taking them with you. As you moved to walk past him, he immediately stepped in front of you, his hands moving to grab you.

“Wait, Y/N, just listen to-”

“NO!”

Your scream made him flinch backwards, not expecting you to scream so suddenly. Your eyes were blazing, but he noticed that they were becoming wetter by each passin second until you angrily wiped at them, tightening your grip on your cloak before you pushed past him and head towards the suitcase on the bed.

“I don’t need to listen to a damn thing you say.”

“Y/N, you have to understand that-”

“Understand what?” you said, whipping around to face him again. “Understand that you killed a man in cold blood? That you had been planning it out even before you transferred to that prison? That you enjoyed it? What else is there for me to understand?”

Yeojeong tightened his hands into fists, slightly shaking on the spot as he clenched his jaw tightly, his adam’s apple bobbing as he stared at you, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.

“Y/N...he deserved it. After what he did to me, to my father, he deserved to die. He deserved it!”

He didn’t mean to raise his voice towards the end, but he couldn’t help it. Just...the thought of that beast, the memories of him laughing and mocking Yejeong as he laid on the floor in the hospital as his father bled out...it made his blood boil. His father was a great man who was only doing his job. He saw the best of people, and yet that monster slit his throat without hesitation. He deserved to go out the way that he did, by Yeojeong’s hand, precise and slow were all of the cuts and stabs, he made sure that he suffered, he made sure that he felt his wrath.

You had flinched at his raised voice, but your features tightened up even more, the cloak in your hands being thrown onto your open suitcase before you took a step towards him.

“He deserved to die...but not by your hand.”

His jaw dropped in shock. What the hell were you saying.

“Y/N-”

“That monster deserved to die Yeojeong. But not by your hand.”

“I...Yes he did! He killed my father Y/N! He has sent me letters about it for years! You’ve read them! You’ve seen them! And you are saying that he didn’t deserve to be killed by me! I had the right to do it! It was my right.”

He couldn’t help but be infuriated by your words. Out of all people, you should be the one the most understanding. You understood the utter disgust and hatred he felt towards that man, no, that beast, and yet you are staring at him like he was some kind of stranger, or a predator you had been locked in with in a cage.

You stared at him with cold eyes, cool tragedy fooling your orbs while your lips quivered as you stared at him. Your jaw was clenching and unclenching, your neck flexing as you swallowed before you shook your head.

“You just don’t see it Yeojeng.” You said before turning around, moving towards your suitcase and slamming it shut with a resounding click. “You refuse to see it.”

“...refuse to see what?” he probed, his eyes staring darkly into yours as you turned around to face him again, hands on the handle of your suitcase. You gazed at him solemnly before uttering the words which made his entire conscious freeze.

“You’re just like him.”

It almost felt like you fired a bullet through his brain, bring an entire end to his living soul when he heard those words. He didn’t even realize that you had left until he heard the resounding slam of the front door, which startled him out of his daze. He hurried to chase after you, only to trip on the lone blouse you had abandoned in his hands earlier, making him fall to the ground with a hard thud.

Pain...that was all he could feel. Physical, emotional, and soulful.

Ha Do-yeong

Following his disastrous marriage to Yeonjin and divorce, Doyeong was apprehensive to get involved with someone else, believing that he had to just focus on his overseas expansions and on providing Yesol the best life that he could.

But then you entered his and Yesol’s life, and managed to slowly fill in the void that was caused by his ex-wife. You had a warm air about you which was different Yeonjin, or rather any other woman he has come across in his social circles. He was not naive enough to believe that woman were attracted to him because of his personality, but because of his wealth. The reason he and Yeonjin had been introduced to one another was because her mother had been an acquaintance of his father’s, the two of them running in the same social circles that eventually she caught his attention, charmed him, and managed to convince him to fall in love with her and give her the life she had always wanted.

But you were different because you had no idea who he was when the two of you first met. In fact, you weren’t even aware of the wealth that he had as he had happened to bump into you at a soccer match at Yesol’s school, you being there to support your niece as she played on the opposing team to Yesol. You introduced yourself and offered to buy him a coffee, almost bewitching him at first sight with your kind smile and bright eyes.

Yesol took a liking to you, she was a bit shy at first but when you had offered to buy her a victory ice-cream after beating your niece and nephews team, she lightened up like a Christmas tree. And soon afterwards, you started become an aspect to their life, a development which had startled him.

It was not that he did not want you a part of his life. He did, in fact, he craved it. But he couldn’t help but worry the confusion his relationship may cause with Yesol, especially since it has not been too long ago that the whole ordeal of Yeonjin had affected their lives. Doyeong did not believe that Yesol needed Yeonjin to be happy, that him being her father was enough for her. But when he watched you and Yesol bond with one another, playing soccer, dress up and going on shopping and arcade trips, he could help but start to feel panicked with how much of a figure you were becoming in their lives, and with how fast things were starting to move.

Doyeong would not describe himself of being a coward. In fact, he would consider himself the opposite, but with how fast things were moving, he was getting scared. Of what, he did not exactly know, but he couldn’t stop the fear from growing until he finally snapped in an unfair moment of panic when all you were doing was trying to be there for both Yesol and him.

When he had received a phone call from a hospital about Yesol, he thought his entire world had shattered when he heard the word’s ‘accident’ and ‘missed traffic light’. He flew out of his office like a banshee out of hell, uncaring of the meeting that he was to enter because the only thing that was on his mind was his daughter. He probably broke about a dozen overseas laws with his driving but he did not simply care for it because nothing was going to stop him until he knew the state of his daughter.

He had all but sprinted into the hospital and demanded to know where Yesol was, nearly scaring the receptionist half to death with his rapid Korean, not understanding what he was saying until he eventually had to calm himself to speak English, eventually being directed to the after-care unit where Yesol was being kept. He sprinted through the corridors and corners until he eventually arrived in the corridor to where Yesol’s room was, only to see you stepping out of a room with your arm in a sling.

“Y/N!”

You immediately turned your head in the direction of Doyeong as he hurried towards you, a small smile on your face as you raised your uninjured arm towards him.

“Doyeong-”

“Yesol! Where is she? Is she okay?!” He immediately asked, staring at you with panicked eyes as he demanded to know the status of his daughter. You gave him a comforting look, resting a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him.

“She’s okay, the doctor is busy checking up on her now. He will be done in a few minutes and then you can see her.”

Doyeong relaxed slightly now that he knew that Yesol was okay, but his anxiety immediately raked up again when he remembered the reason Yesol was in the hospital in the first place. You had your day off and wanted to spend it with Yesol since it was the school holidays. Doyeong was initially hesitant about it since he knew that he was going to be busy all day and not be able to join the two of you, but when Yesol pleaded for him to agree to your desire, to let the two of you spend the day together, he eventually succumbed to his daughters wishes and agreed.

But it seemed his initial hesitance was valid because if he had refused your request, then Yesol wouldn’t be injured and in the hospital in the first place.

“You said that she would be okay with you. Why the hell didn’t you take care of her?”

Doyeong didn’t realize that he had said such harsh words until he said them, and by the way your furrowed your eyebrows and flinched, you weren’t expecting such words from him either. You removed your hand from his arm and took a step back.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen Doyeong. It was an accident. It was my right away and another car had jumped the stoplight and-”

“That is not enough! Yesol was in the car! You should have been more aware on the road!”

You furrowed your eyebrows even more and took another step, taking an unsteady breath while you bit your bottom lip.

“I didn’t see them coming Doyeong. You know that I would never deliberately put Yesol in danger like that. It was an accident, and while I understand how you feel-”

“You have no idea how I feel. Yesol is my daughter!” He yelled, his hands tightening into fists as he whipped past you to stand in front of the door where you had come out from. He needed the doctor to come out already, he needed to see Yesol for himself, to scoop her up in his arms to truly comfort him that she was okay. He heard you sigh and walk up behind him, reaching out to touch his elbow.

“I understand why you are upset Doyeong and I’m sorry. I should have been careful, and you know that I love Yesol like she is my own daughter-”

Before Doyeong could stop himself, he whirled around to face you with a snarl on his lips, his eyes flashing angrily as he glared at you.

“She will never be your daughter, just like you will never, ever be her mother!”

...

He might as well have slapped you with how strong of an effect his words had on you. You completely stumbled away from him, eyes wide and jaw slacked, staring at him in complete and utter shock. Doyeong widened his own eyes when his own words and indication of them dawned on him, filling him with immediate regret as he watched you fold in within yourself, your bottom lip quivering as you looked away from him.

“I-I see.” You stuttered out, your voice strained, an indication to him that you were trying to stop yourself from crying. “T-Then, I will see myself off.”

Without another word, you turned around and began to hurry away, his own body acting on instinct to chase after you, but before he could, the door behind him opened and another voice called out to him.

“Oh, are you Mr. Ha? Yesol’s father?”

Doyeong turned around to see a well-dressed man in a doctor’s coat, a kind smile on his face as he looked at him. Doyeong swallowed thickly, trying to push down his emotions of dismay and regret as he nodded, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes. I-Is Yesol alright?”

The doctor smiled and nodded before inviting Doyeong in, Yesol smiling face immediately greeting him as she sucked on a red lollipop which the doctor must have given her, a plaster on her cheek.

“Hi daddy!” She greeted, giving him a wave, only to frown slightly as she looked behind him. “Where’s Y/N?”

And Doyeong was at a lost to what to say.

Park Yeon-jin

We’re over

Not a lot of things have ever scared Yeonjin, but the second she saw that text message from you, an avalanche of terror and panic washed over her. She knew that the reappearance of Dongeun in her life was going to be the cause of so much trouble, especially since Sara had already taken a fall, being one of the first of them to crumble under the so called ‘revenge’ Dongeun was trying to pull over them, but she thought for certain that you were going to remain untouched throughout this duration of Dongeun’s stupid revenge scheme.

She was in the middle of broadcasting when she had received the message, and it was only afterwards did she finally managed to read it and was sent into a complete state of shock because she refused to believe you would actually send such a text to her during a time when she needed you the most.

She immediately tried to call you, but it went unanswered, prompting her to call you a second time, then a third, and then a fourth to finally realize that you were purposely ignoring her calls. And she could not stand for it.

Yeonjin did waste another second of her time, immediately grabbing her stuff and all but sprinting out of the studio to get to her car. She all but stranded her assistant behind, not bothering about them because they were not a priority. They could take a taxi for all she cared, but the only thing she had in mind was to find you.

You could not leave her. Not now when she needed you the most. Sara was a lost case, Jaejun has lost his mind, Myeong-oh was dead, and Hyejeong is a pathetic bitch who could get burnt alive for all she cared, but she could not handle the thought of you leaving her as well. You were her only constant right now, the only reminder that she had that her life was still fine. Doyeong was all but a distant memory, her husband being the last thing on her mind when the only person she needed was you.

You were the only one able to bring pleasure and joy into her life. They only to make her feel alive and rejuvenated.

And you were leaving her.

She could not allow it.

She knew journey to your home like the back of her hand, her body driving to it with muscle memory while she continued calling her number via her car system, but each time it continued to go unanswered. You were ignoring her...but not for long. She could not have you treat her like this, she needed you to listen to her, to explain why you were doing such an outrageous thing.

Yeonjin roughly parked her car in the apartment parking lot without a car and slammed the door shut before hurrying towards your building, not sparing a glance to any other the home owners who noticed her presence as she made her way towards your apartment. She sprinted up the stairs like a hell hound was at her heels, her eyes focused on one thing, being your front door apartment when she immediately reached your floor. She hammered her fists against the door while simultaneously ringing your doorbell.

“Y/N! Open this door! Open this door right now!”

There was a possibility that you were not home, but if you were, it would only be a matter of time before you answered her because you were the kind of person who hated drama being aired out in public, and while no one knew of your and her relationship aside from her friends, you would rather not risk anyone else finding out since it will only send tongues wagging and have some kind of effect on you, especially since Yeonjin was a married woman.

And Yeonjin was right when after a few minutes of her make a ruckus at your front door, it whipped open and revealed an infuriated you dressed in pajamas.

“Are fucking insane right-”

Yeonjin didn’t let you finish your sentence, pushing herself past the door and into your arms where she immediately wrapped her arms around your waist and then forced you against the wall, forcing you to let go of your front door and let it slam itself shut, the sound echoing through your apartment. Yeonjin pressed herself closely against your body, pinning you to the wall while her nails dug into your lower back as she held you tightly.

“Just what is it that you are trying to do to me?” She hissed softly into your cheek, brushing her lips against the skin as she tried to gather as much comfort that she could from the warmth of your body, her throat tight with blurry emotions that she could distinguish to herself yet. “What are you trying to do to us? Y/N, you are not thinking straight again.”

You scoffed.

“The only one who is not thinking straight is you. Now get off me.”

She felt your hands on her shoulders, trying to push her away, but Yeonjin was not going to allow herself to be moved so easily. She instead curled her chin over your shoulder, forcing you closer into her body as she tightened her hold around your waist. She heard you hiss annoyance and felt the increased pressure of your hands against her shoulders.

“Yeonjin! I am not joking, let go!”

“No.”

“Yeonjin I am serious!”

“So am I. No.”

“Bloody hell Yeonjin, get off!”

She was not expecting you to headbutt her, gasping immediately in when she felt your head collide with temple, making her loosen her grip on you to clutch at the injured spot, giving you the opportunity to shove her way entirely from you. Yeonjin stumbled backwards, almost falling if not for her quick reflexes. Betrayal spouted out of her chest as she locked eyes with you as you cradled your own head, eyes burning in fury as you stared at her.

You have never laid a hand against Yeonjin. Never. Not even when she maybe deserved when she was more cutting with you during some of her bad days. But never have you been physical with her, not even during arguments, so the fact that you headbutted her...she felt as if the entire world had been pulled out from her.

“H-How could you?” She said, her voice betraying her usual intention to try be as composed as she could be. You scoffed.

“How could I? I told you to get off but you didn’t listen. But then again, you have always done what you wanted and have never considered the feelings of someone else.”

Yeonjin flinched at your words, so unused to hearing your voice to be so curt and sharp. You were usually so soft-spoken with her, endearing and loving as you whispered sweet nothings in her ear while burning kiss marks against her skin as she arched her body into yours for more of your embrace.

You were acting so different, it having been only a day since she last saw you. Just how could you be acting like such a different person in a short amount of time. What has happened.”

“I know you got my message. So I don’t get why you are here.” You hissed, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at her. Narrowing her own eyes, Yeonjin took a step towards you, tightening her lips into a straight line.

“You are stupid if you think I would just read that message and do nothing about it.”

You laughed.

“Calling me stupid in my own home? Wow, that is quite something to say.”

“Stop fooling around Y/N. You are making no sense with anything?”

“I’m not making sense of everything? I think I have been pretty clear.”

“Y/N, stop messing around already, otherwise I will-”

“You will what? Burn me?”

The way that you said those last two words, looking at her with such cold conviction, made the blood in Yeonjin’s body freeze. And her body continued to become more ice cold as you took steps towards her, eyes growing more infuriated with each passing second.

“Are you going to burn me Yeonjin? Perhaps with a curling iron? Or maybe a normal iron will be better. Although who knows, maybe you have taking a liking to boiling water instead, or maybe just your lighter. You have on you at all times, so perhaps that will be your weapon of choice. Everybody matures from their past actions after all.”

As you got closer, Yeonjin couldn’t help but stumble back away from you, your words scaring her more than she has ever been before. And you could see it clearly on her face, but you did not care. Instead of stopping in front of her, you walked past her without another words, making Yeonjin slowly turn around to watch you retreat. She took a few hesitant steps forwards, only to freeze again when you returned back with some documents in her hand. But when you got closer, she realized that they weren’t just documents, but rather photographs.

You didn’t say a word as you shoved the photos in her chest, making her clumsily clutch at them as she felt your burning gaze on her as she slowly lifted them to see their captured picture. Her eyes widened in horror when red, burn marks on skin, most particularly, on Dongeun’s skin as the teenage Dongeun looked at the photo, only to be followed with a current Dongeun photo staring at the camera with an empty gaze. There were about ten photos of Dongeun as a teen and as an adult, displaying the new and faded marks from captured time period.

“I can’t believe you could be that cruel.” Your voice interrupted her thoughts, forcing her to look up and see you disgusted face, arms crossed as you stared at her. “How could you have done something like that to her?”

“I-I didn’t-”

“Don’t even try lie to me Yeonjin. Don’t you dare.”

“I-This wasn’t me! T-This was-”

“She came by my house today. Alone.” You finally said, making Yeonjin’s words become trapped in her throat as she stared at you in horror. “She told me everything. About what you and the others did to her in school.”

“S-She-”

“I never want to see you ever again.” You finally said, uncrossing your arms and pointing at the front door. “Get out of my house before I call the fucking police.”

“Y-Y/N.”

“Now Yeonjin.” You growled, lowering your arm as your glare brightened with each passing second. “Otherwise I will do it myself.”

Yeonjin started to shake her head, the photographs falling out of her hands as she walked towards you, reaching out to touch you, to grab you and tell you that everything that Dongeun had told you was wrong. That she was a delusional girl who wanted to blame her very everything bad that went in her life. But you didn’t let her. Instead, you roughly grabbed her by the hair, making Yeonjin screech in pain as you pulled her towards the front door and all but tossed her outside, making her land painfully on her knees before she turned to look at you in shock and horror. You stared her down with disgusted eyes, you face screwed up in fury.

“I never want to see you again.”

And then you slammed the door shut, leaving her outside with bruised knees and a shattered heart.

Jeon Jae-jun

Shock washed over him like ice-cold water as he stared at your crumbled body on the floor, your head turned away from him and your shoulder shaking as you tried to compose yourself from the pain that he just caused you. His hand was sting from the slap, his body frozen stiff like a statue as he stared at you in shock, unable to say anything as he came to terms with what he did.

He hit you.

He...

He just...he didn’t realize he did it until he saw you on the floor.

He just knows he was angry. He was angry over the fact that no matter he did or said, there was no way that he was ever going to have Yesol. There was no chance for him to be a father to Yesol. His little girl, his own flesh and blood. He had the right to her like Yeonjin did, and the fact that some snobby motherfucker like Ha Doyeong was acting like Yesol’s father when he was actually her real one, it pissed him off to no degree.

You came by to visit him to try calm him down, to just let him see a little reason, but he did not want to listen. He didn’t want you there because there was no way you would be able to understand the problem he was dealing with. You were no mother and no wife; therefore, you had no semblance of understanding towards his situation.

Jaejun has gotten better at handling his temper, knowing he was a little shit in high school, kicking everyone's ass when given the opportunity, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t lose it sometimes. And he was already raging when you arrived at him home, already have a spare key to his place. You tried to calmly talk him down out of his rage, keeping to the edge of the room as he kicked and punched furniture and walls as he marched around the room. His mood certainly wasn’t helped with the half of bottle of whiskey he had already consumed, having swallowed the glasses with one mouthful one after the other before answering the your previous phone call.

Your words were half-heard, the buzzing in his head taking preference as he cursed around the room, his blood pressure only rising when he thought back on that arrogant look Doyeong gave him, reminding him that the law was on his side, that Jaejun will never be able to call Yesol his daughter nor that Yesol will ever call his father. The fact that it was the truth, that even though the shared blood between him and Yesol means nothing, it made him so furious that he was ready to kill someone.

“...Jaejun, you know that I am on your side. You know that I will stand by you every way that you want to go.” He recalled your voice saying, someone near the edge of the room while continued to pace up and down. “You are her father, nothing changes that.”

“But Yesol will never know that until I tell her. Until I do, she keeps calling that motherfucker her dad when he isn’t!” He kicked his coffee table hard, pain shooting through his toes but he hardly paid any mind to it because he was still so furious. He grabbed at his hair roughly, growling before he screamed out another curse and wildly slammed a punch to his armchair before pacing again. “She’s my fucking daughter! He can’t have her!”

“I know she is Jaejun, I know she is.”

“If I have to fucking drive down there and tell Yesol myself, then I will fucking do it! She will choose me over him! I am her real dad!”

The thought of doing the deed, the images of Yesol leaping into his arms in a tight hug while calling him dad made a ball of happiness and hope fill his chest, making a dent in his anger as he thought of the wonderful look of dismay which will cross that motherfuckers face when he realizes that he will no longer be called dad by Yesol.

Fuck it, he was gonna do it.

“-Jaejun, that isn’t a good idea.” He heard you say, your contradiction to his thoughts suddenly make that ball of hope disappear and be replaced with his anger. He whipped around and glared at you.

“What the fuck do you mean? She is my fucking daughter! She deserves to know who her real dad is!”

You flinched at his raised voice being directed at you, but you fixed him with a sympathetic look, your eyes genuine in emotion.

“Of course she does Jaejun, but she is young. You telling her the truth will only confuse her. As far as she knows, Doyeong is her dad, and you suddenly telling her that he isn’t will only hurt her.”

“I will never fucking hurt Yesol! Fucking never!” he screamed, insulted by you insinuating that he would do such a thing. With another curse, he turned around and started marching towards the door. “Fuck it, I’m going to tell her!”

“Wait, Jaejun don’t!” He heard you yell behind him, following after him with hurried steps as he headed towards the door and grabbed his car keys. “You’ve been drinking and you’re angry! Think this over tomorrow!”

“I don’t need to fucking think it over! I am going to tell her I’m her real dad!”

He reached for the front door, ready to leave, only to feel your hands on his arm, trying to pull him back.

“Jaejun please think this through! This won’t help Yesol, and if you go there and tell her the truth, it will only push her more into Doyeong’s arms and-”

It happened so quickly.

He was just so furious that you didn’t support him with his decisions, as well that you were trying to stop him, that he just dropped his keys and spun around with his other hand, his palm connected directly with your cheek, sending you flying to the floor with the powerful blow.

He didn’t even really remember doing it. Or rather, it felt like he was an outside observer to someone controlling his body when he did it. And now that the truth dawned on him, he just stared at your crumbled body in shock, his hand still sting from the blow.

The wool which was dangling in front of his eyes caused by the alcohol suddenly was lifted, sobering up really quickly as he watched you move so that you were kneeling, your hand cradling your face while you took shaky breaths to try control yourself, obviously trying to control the tears that were no doubt falling from your eyes.

“Y-Y/N...” He called out, horror slowly filling his veins as you continued to remain on the floor, not uttering a single thing aside from the pained gasp that broke past your lips when he struck you.

The saying of your name made your breaths freeze entirely, making Jaejun watch in frozen fear as you hastily stood up from the floor, your head bowed down as you turned around and tried to move past him, not saying a word. He immediately reached out to you.

“Y/N, wait-”

You flinched at his approaching hand, making him freeze from his actions as he stared wide-eyed at you, stunned like a deer-in-headlights that you would flinch at his approaching touch.

Only he understood why.

Instant regret filled him at your flinch, and you took the opportunity to hastily grab the door handle and open the door and retreated out of it, slamming it shut just as he rushed at it to follow you.

“Y/N! Wait!”

He immediately opened the door and rushed out of it just to make out your figure disappearing around the corner as you escaped from him, prompting Jaejun to immediately give chase, not wanting you to leave him like this. He had to apologize, he had to make you know that he didn’t mean it. But just as he managed to run outside, he saw your car speeding out from the parking lot into the street, escaping him entirely and leaving him stone cold in his even more colorless world.

Lee Sa-ra

The twitches in her body were uncontrollable, curses leaving her lips every few minutes as she nibbled at her nails, tearing them down until they were almost exposing her nail beds, making her curse even more as she was unable to do anything else. The drip on her arm was hardly improving her mood at all, limiting her movements in the hospital bed that she has been chained to for the past few days.

Her father was adamant about getting her cleaned up, or rather to try clean up his reputation as much as he can since the police was sniffing around the church and other activities he has been conducting aside from daily services, Sara being nothing but extra goods which he is locking up to keep her out of sight.

Fuck, it pissed her off.

Hyejeong has been unbearable as usual, trying to act all high and mighty in front of her during visiting hours to the extent that Sara nearly threw her entire lunch tray at the bitch. Yeonjin and Jaejun have been no shows entirely, although to be honest she was quite glad because she was just about read to tear both of their faces off with all the shit they have started ever since that damn Moon Dongeun returned.

Her mother has visited her every single day, offering her prayers of recovery but each time her mother spoke, Sara just wanted to scream. Fuck, all of this could just be avoided if her parents will just let her leave the country again! But no, they have to be these hard-assed holier-than-thou parents suddenly wanting to be all responsible and prim, even though she knows they are everything but that.

Dammit, she was just so fucking pissed!

Probably the only thing that was keeping her from losing her damn sanity was you, visiting regularly whenever you could, always making sure to visit during the hours her mother and father’s weren’t there, as well as Hyejeong because she knew that she would rip that air hostess’s head off if she made a comment towards you and her during one of your visits. She has anxiously been waiting for your arrival, needing to have some sort of stability in this damn place before she completely lose her shit.

And just as she was contemplating ripping her drip out, consequences be damned, she was interrupted by the hospital door opening up and you stepping through it. Sara let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank fuck you’re here.” She said, grabbing you by the wrist and tugging you close to her once you got into close proximity, pressing hers lips to yours in a kiss.

But as she kissed you, she could feel something was wrong by the way you stood stiffly next to her bed, lips barely moving against hers. She pulled back to look at your face, eyebrows furrowed, and she noticed how downcast your eyes were, barely maintaining any eye contact. She squeezed your wrist, fingers flexing around your delicate delicate arm.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, her thumb subconsciously rubbing circles around your wrist bone in some sort of comforting manner, but it seemed her actions made your more anxious, your arm halfheartedly trying to tug itself from her grip but she wouldn’t let you. “What happened.”

“Sara...” you started, biting down your bottom lip as you paused your words, seemingly contemplating what to say next. And then you seemed to figure out your next phrase. “How...are you feeling?”

Sara immediately frowned at your questions, glancing at her lap and her bed before looking back at you with a slight sneer.

“How am I feeling? Shit, that’s what.” She hissed, letting go of your wrist to slam her hands against her bed mattress. “Fucking look at this Y/N. I am in hell! I mean fuck, the nurses are a pain in the ass and the doctors are even worse! Fuck, they look at me like I’m some pitying school girl! I’m not, I’m fucking not!”

Her blood boiled at the images of the doctors and nurses that she regularly sees, all having the same look as the other, pitying and at times disgusted. It pisses her off. They have no right to judge her. They have no right to feel they are better than her in any other way. Fuck, they should just mind their damn business! She doesn’t even want to be here! She is being held captive by her own damn father, she should probably get one of her lawyers to sue him, fuck, that will teach him a lesson. And probably mess up his reputation even more.

The idea really seemed like a good idea and Sara started to smile at the prospect of it, but then a sudden chill hit her and her teeth rattled as her body twitched, breath catching in her throat as her body tried to re-stable itself. Your hands went out to touch her, grounding her by the hold on her shoulders as she broke out into a cold sweat, her hands gripping her bed sheets tightly as she trembled.

Dammit, she hated it when this happened.

Since she hasn’t had anything in her system in weeks, her body was trying to reconfigure itself, but it was absolute hell for Sara because she felt that she was conducting a sinful punishment handed to her by hell itself. Her hands were gripping her sheets so tightly that her knuckles were turning white and she felt like she was breathing through a test tube which was forced down her throat. Minutes felt like hours and when she eventually felt her body settling itself down, she couldn’t help but curse.

“Fuck I hate them! I hope they getting hit by a fucking bus!” She hisses, putting the wish into the universe with the hopes that it will carry it out. She felt your stiffen beside her, hand tightening for a moment before finally releasing her as you moved to stand in front of her bed.

“Don’t wish for something like that Sara. They are your parents.” You murmured, making Sara let out an empty chuckle.

“And what? That gives them the right to fucking throw me in here against my will! They are only acting like decent parents now because a fire has been lit under their ass. Dad is only trying to save face.”

“...That’s not true Sara.” You said, knitting your fingers together and rubbing your thumbs uncertainly. “They are worried about you. They want you to get better.”

A flash of irritation snipped through her mind, making Sara grit her teeth as she glared at her.

“Don’t give me that shit Y/N, they just fucking want to save face for the church. They don’t give a shit about me.”

“That’s not true Sara, if they didn’t care about you, they wouldn’t be trying to help you get...clean.”

You looked at her with an uncertain flash in your eyes, which immediately made her blood boil because it replicated the same looks as the doctors, nurses, and even her mother whenever they visited her. Her lips curled back and she bared her teeth like an animal, eyes burning in anger.

“You have been fucking speaking to my mother, haven’t you? She has tricked you into adopting her fucking stance, hasn’t she?”

Your eyes widened at her words, immediately making you shake your head as you reached out to her.

“Wait, no, Sara I am just saying-”

Sara slapped your hand away, lip curling further in anger as she pushed herself up to the head of her bed, pointedly ignoring your hiss of pain as you cradled your struck hand.

“I should have fucking known they would have gotten to you too! Fuck, you are supposed to be on my fucking side! You should be supporting me!”

You looked up from your struck hand, lips wobbling but your eyes suddenly resolute.

“I do support you Sara! But Sara...the drugs, they are eating away at you. You are becoming the shell of yourself, I’m worried about you. While it may be hard, I know that once you go through this, that we can-”

“FUCK OFF!” Sara screeched, grabbing her pillows and hurling them at you with so much force that the impact was loud as they hit your body. She then grabbed the glass and jug beside her table and hurled it at you, uncaring of the shattered remnants that flew across the wall and floor as you dodged them, backing away towards the side of the room as Sara went ballistic. “YOU CAN GO RIGHT TO HELL!”

“S-Sara please, c-calm down-”

“DON’T TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!”

Sara grabbed whatever she could and threw it at you, screaming and cursing as fury filled every inch of her body. You, of all people, siding with her parents. That was the most absolute betrayal you could ever pull against her, and it made it furious. And it certainly didn’t help that her body was starting to go through one of its episodes again.

“Sara, please-”

“JUST LEAVE! JUST FUCKING LEAVE! I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE AGAIN!’

She was so bloody angry, she was seeing red in everything in the hospital room, uncaring of how her arm was burning from the drip as she ripped her arm around. She heard the door of her room open and saw nurses rushing towards her, hands attempting to pin her down, which only infuriated her even more. She immediately tried fighting them off, hissing and biting at them like a wild animal.

“LET GO! LET ME FUCKING GO!”

“Miss Lee, please calm down-”

“DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!”

Sara snarled and twisted about on the bed, trying to rip her body away from the nurses, barely paying attention to your lingering body as you slowly edged towards the exit, your eyes sad as you gazed at her. Feeling your gaze, she whipped her head in your direction, locking eyes with you as you shoulder your bag with wobbly lips, swallowing thickly as you attempted to keep your tears at bay.

“Goodbye Sara. I hope you recover from this.”

And then you were gone, and only after a few more weeks in hospital did Sara realize that it was for good.

Choi Hye-jeong

“Let me go! Just let me go!”

You were fighting against her, trying to break free from her strong grip but Hyejeong held firm. There was no chance of her letting go until you heard her end of the story. To just understand where she is coming from.

“Y/N-”

“Just let me go already!” You screeched, renewed energy soaring through your body as you kept fighting, but Hyejeong tightened her grip even more.

“Just listen to me!”

“No! Because nothing you will say will ever make this any better.”

Hyejeong gritted her teeth and curled her chin over your shoulder to try keep you in place, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to calm herself.

You knew just hard it was to live the life she wanted without the aid of her friends, even she could even call them that. All her life she has struggled, either it be socially and financially, and even though she makes her own money, it is only a matter of time before she will be replaced with a prettier, younger air hostess who will cater to all the needs of passengers. Taking over her parents business was out of the question, she already has taken social blows due to her association with them, so for her to inherit the business will be the entire end of her upstanding reputation.

Even though Jaejun is the dirtiest bastard she has ever known, he can provide her with a life which she knows her deserve, only expecting a few nights from her to cater to his manly needs and maybe give Yesol a sibling, but otherwise the two of them will be open to any other relationships without hurt feelings.

You and her didn’t need to separate...and yet you were adamant to leave her.

“It won’t mean anything Y/N! I promise it won’t mean anything!” She pleaded, digging her fingers in your body in attempt to reaffirm her grip, and yet your fighting body wiggled around furiously.

“How the hell will it mean nothing? You are going to become his wife Hyejeong! His wife!”

“He and I won’t do anything! We will just-”

“Please...as if that asshole will not want to do anything on his wedding night.” Finally finding some success, you managed to rip yourself out of Hyejeong’s arms and scurried away, raising a warning finger at Hyejeong as she attempted to close the distance between the two of again. “Don’t treat me like an idiot Hyejeong, cause I’m not.”

“I’m not trying to-”

“Bullshit,” you hissed, “You would much rather marry a bastard like Jaejun than even try have a life with me.”

“That’s not true Y/N!” Hyejeong exclaimed, horror shooting through as you spoke, scurrying towards you to pull you into her arms again, only for you to match her footsteps and to keep the distance between the two of you. “You know that I love you! I love you so fucking much it scares me!”

You let out an empty laugh.

“Scares you so much that you run into the arms of someone else.”

“Y/N, you have to see it from my point of view!” Hyejeong screeched, hands suddenly rushing to her hair to tug at it furiously before throwing her hand in the air. “I have nothing to make something decent for myself. My parents own a damn laundry cleaning service and it will only be a matter of time before I can no longer air hostess! I need Jaejun to help me to maintain...well, this!”

Hyejeong indicated towards the room, pointing out the luxurious items that she has managed to afford and gather, either by herself or given to her by one of the others. But instead of adopting a more unstable expression, your face became more thunderous.

“So in the end, it is all about money. I am not even surprised, that is all you care about.” You growled, shaking your head. Hyejeong tightened her hands into fists.

“Y/N, without money, I’,-”

“You. And to me, you are enough. And yet it seems I am not for you, cause I wasn’t born with a damn golden spoon in my mouth.” You shook your head and moved across the room to grab your bag. “But I guess that is it then.”

Hyejeong immediately shook her head and hurried after you, grabbing you by the elbow before you could pull away entirely.

“Y/N, you and I can still-”

“Let me stop you right there.” You snapped, ripping your elbow out of Hyejeong’s grip, glaring at her. “There is no way I am going to become some sidepiece to you while you are happy wife to that bastard!”

“I don’t love him Y/N!” Hyejeong suddenly snapped, tossing all caution out the window as she grabbed you by the shoulders, looking at your earnestly while panic started building up in her throat. “You are the one I love! You are the one who matters the most to me! Jaejun is just-”

“Going to marry you. Call you his wife, and have you raise his child. And me?” You grabbed at Hyejeong’s wrists, squeezing them angrily with your own death grip that Hyejeong flinched at the instant pain you began to cause. “And you expect me to wait around at home like some good little lapdog, wagging my tail when you decide to give me the time of day once you finish doing your wifely duties? Not a chance in hell Hyejeong.”

You ripped her hands off of you and began marching for the front door, only to be pulled back by Hyejeong again, the air hostess refusing to simply accept you wanting to leave her. She has already said that the two of you could still be together, that she and Jaejun will only be wife and husband in name, albeit with some exceptions.

But she wanted you. Of course she wanted you. And her marrying Jaejun does not change that. Why can’t you just see how important it was for her to maintain the lifestyle she has had until now?!

“You can’t just leave me Y/N! Think about everything we have been through together!”

You paused in your footsteps and then turned to look at her with a sarcastic smirk, shaking her head.

“Are you seriously trying to pull that card right now in this discussion. Hyejeong, out of the two of us, you are the one who has not considered the fact we have been through a lot together. In the end, you are just a selfish bitch who is content to stay a gold digger for the rest of her life.”

Hyejeong couldn’t help but gasp in shock at your words, never having heard them from your lips before. Sure, she has heard it from Yeonjin, Sara, and many others, but you...you have never used the same labels as the others before. And the fact that you are using them now just sends unshakable pain to her heart, as well as fury.

“Y/N, you-”

“Let me put it this way Hyejeong,” You said, pulling your arm out of her grip again and turning fully to face her, a cutting glint in your eye. “If I was the one marrying Jaejun, would you even bother staying by my side as number 2?”

You didn’t even bother to hear you answer as you turned around and stormed out, slamming the door hard behind you, its slam echoing through her house while Hyejeong lowered herself to her knees, numbness flowing through her entire body, rendering motionless as you words repeated themselves in her head in an indefinite loop.

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