#not racist in the way of calling ppl slurs or anything but just. being really bitchy and unfriendly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trans-axolotl · 2 years

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i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #trans #okay to reblog #again i dont want you all to feel like im shitting only on trans people #but this is the shit im experiecning in trans community in very particular ways #i could also make a long post with all the htings i hate about cis people and their intersexist stuff #but they don't follow me on tumblr lmao so what's the point.#also cis intersex people i kind of dont want u to jump onto this post #bc half of you all are transphobic in a way that im like i dont trust u

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neechees · 1 year

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I wanna ask where the racist assumption associating indigenous people with wolf where that come from

I literally have no idea. Afaik it's not from any one specific source, but might be an amalgamation of ideas over time to associate Native Americans with specifically dogs (& by extension, wolves) when dehumanizating us. I think there is some associations with wolves that come from many Native beliefs (as many Native people think wolves are sacred, & feature prominently in our legends) that Europeans & White settlers decided to take & use to demonize us. I can see the association appearing possibly due to some of the following historical contexts, but this is just me hypothesizing, just my opinion, & I could be wrong:

The general Noble Savage idea that Native Americans were/are subhuman at best, & we're what "untamed humans" apparently looked like. We were closer to animals than humans to them. Dogs are also something you can tame & train, & assimilation is one way White people wanted to "tame" Native people, & thought that Manifest Destiny would be them "taming" Turtle Island, so maybe the thinking was similar. This in addition to thinking of Native people as wild, dangerous, scary, etc, so therefore they chose dogs/wolves to help represent that idea.

Wolves in the U.K had largely become extinct in the 16th century, which lines up at around the time colonization of the Americas started really taking off & Britain & colonizers from the UK entering the picture. Wolves were seen as a nuisance & dangerous & scary, & so they thought it better to kill them. You can see similar sentiments regarding Native Americans being deemed as scary, a danger to Whites, inconvenient regarding settlement & trying to replace bison or Native animals with European livestock, AND all that in addition to many Native American tribes thinking wolves are good.

Most dog breeds Native to North America that Native people worked with & lived alongside went extinct as a result of colonization, such as the Salish wool dog & the Chiribara dog. Settlers obviously wanted to do the same to us, so they could've made the connection to dogs as a reference to this. There's also events in which settlers would kill our dogs to try kill or assimilate US, such as the Canadian government mass killing Inuit sled dogs

Racist science, the idea that humans are like "dog breeds", & the creation of the Métis slur "halfbreed". This really helped to cement the association of Native people with dogs in particular, because it implies Métis & Native people are dogs & referring to us by that terminology. The things above may have helped to be the precursor (or maybe THIS was), I'm not sure, but again this definitely cemented it

This would be a bit more recent, but like the bastardization & fetishization of Native culture & representation in media. It is true that many Native Nations think wolves are sacred & they play a prominent part in many of our cultures & spiritualities, but this isn't represented accurately or respectfully by many white people, so you get things like the stupid "two wolves inside of you" meme or those weird paintings of Indian maidens hanging out with random wolves, & so on. It's the fetishization of our culture plus mixing that in with White ppl thinking wolves are cool, so they just mesh them together however they want, & this helps to support the more negative associations of Native people with dogs & wolves (like the halfbreed slur)

I havent really been able to find scholarly research done on this or anything, & it's one of those things that aren't really talked about or looked into, but it's there. Maybe we'd be able to find more concrete answers if there wrre more research done on it, but for now the above can just be speculation. It's really common for oppressed groups to be compared to animals for dehumanization, often with specific animals to reinforce racist ideas or to justify their oppression, but why Native people are called dogs in particular I'm not entirely sure.

#tfaoptimusstan #ndn

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aroace-cat-lady · 1 year

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so uhhhh ahhh long rant incoming sorry~

I'm sure you're aware of this whole Matty situation...

I just need to say that I cannot support Taylor after this, for me, this is absolutely where I draw the line. Personally, I believe that knowingly dating a bigot, a racist for example - this is someone who has unashamedly admitted to watching racist torture p**n, imagine how twisted you have to be to do such a thing - it automatically means that you are also racist, because, as per *my* definition of racism, racism doesn't have to be outright saying racial slurs and actively harassing poc, I definitely classify this indifference and condoning of bigotry as racism too. You *cannot* claim to be an activist and proceed to associate yourself with someone who is against everything you apparently stand for, unless it is of course, purely performative and somewhat for your own benefit. You cannot seriously claim you stand with people of colour, trans people, jewish people, muslims, every marginalised group basically, yet associate yourself with someone who clearly doesn't??

I understand some people are conflicted, I mean so was I for perhaps an hour after it was confirmed, it is hard when someone who you might idolise, who you believed would advocate for you is actually incredibly apathetic, and who has proven that countless times but especially this time, that they didn't truly mean what they claimed... But how can one not draw the line at bigotry? You can't just shrug it off by saying "I love her but this is wr-" that means nothing, you can't seriously call her out for something and say you love her in the same sentence, does that even count as holding her accountable? Equally bad are those who are "looking the other way" so you simply just don't want to hold her accountable and then be held accountable yourself for not doing so.

Additionally, if you're going to date a literal bigot, and you are aware of the colossal platform and influence you hold, why would you do it publicly- oh and with a fanbase obviously including the groups said bigot has openly discriminated against?

Unfortunately, the main responses I've seen to this situation are: swifties who idolise taylor to an unhealthy extent attempting to defend and condone even matty's actions, the performative activists who pretend they care but continue to talk about how much they adore her and basically just shrug it off, those who are fully aware its wrong and look the other way, and the literal minority who hold her accountable. Oh, said minority's feelings tend to be dismissed and invalidated and belittled by the former 3 groups. Oh, and also, said minority is primarily poc. hmmm.

Something particularly annoying that people are doing is attempting to making this about misogyny when it quite obviously isn't ("ofc you guys are blaming a woman for a man's actions"). I swear, I have seen not one person who has even implied that Taylor is to blame for Matty's actions. We are holding them both accountable because they are both shitty. Matty is unquestionably worse, but does that mean Taylor shouldn't be held accountable? Really? People saying this either... have zero understanding of the situation OR just don't want to hold her accountable and want to *out-woke* us or something and I think most of them are guilty of the latter

btw you don't have to comment on this or anything idk I'm just upset lrpekfos;rjdlgi

Oh I'm commenting don't worry about that

Just!!! Ugh!!!

I'm so. Outraged. And disgusted. He's just another privilege white guy who doesn't care at all about making fun or offending ppl that are different from him and that doesn't even try to understand or respect them. He's the worst brand of white bread out there.

And most white fans are being so awful about this. Oh you're just making it about yourself oh she's just not thinking oh he's not that bad oh I actually think he's becoming a better person because of her. Shut up. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.

I really don't know how to feel about Taylor right now. Like, all I can think about now is how a lot of ppl have said for years she's racist cuz she has never toured on latam. How there's literally no explanation for that. And I ignore all of that cuz, dude, it's Taylor??? She's one of the few ppl that actually try.

But. Is she?? Cuz she isn't trying a lot right now. She apparently doesn't care. Sure, she stands for human rights and say Vote Blue!! and all that, but at the end she doesn't seem to think that being racist antisemitic islamophibic etcetc count as a red flag.

I just hate feeling like this. I've always respected and admired Taylor, but I really just can't respect her right now. But I don't seem able to pull away from her.

I mean, I literally love her songs so much I learned a second fucking language thanks to her. My relationship with my sister got a lot better because of her music. I've met incredible ppl because I started blogging about her.

I guess I'm so disappointed and kind of heartbroken right now. Like, I got this feeling of you didn't just betrayed me, you betrayed all of us and, worst of all, you betrayed yourself

It's just a lot.

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gaysagainststeve · 2 years

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you don’t have to post this because i know how any post not demonizing billy gets someone a lot of hate.

ok i’m 2 weeks late but the unending billy hate just.. hurts my soul because it’s never a nuanced conversation. people refuse to admit that even though he’s done and said messed up things, he’s still a victim of abuse. i do blame the duffers for that because all they care about is demonizing him. dacre montgomery tried so hard to focus on billy’s abuse and insecurities and how that resulted in his shitty actions and adopted views from his father. he’s so real. not every abuse victim is overly kind and “docile.” he’s an angry person. victims of abuse can be angry and violent because that’s all they’ve been shown, but that doesn’t mean they “maybe deserve to die.” maybe the deserve a chance to change with proper care. ugh the way stranger things has handled billy’s abuse is so damaging to abuse victims. neil faces no consequences. max’s mother makes no mention of it despite witnessing it. a random basketball player’s abuse can be focused on but not billy’s? the way people say billy is worse than brenner & peter creel! it’s absolutely ridiculous. there’s also this misogynistic, hetnormative way in which antis will say that the only people who like billy are woman who think he’s hot. and don’t get me started on that hate dacre receives for trying to humanize his character and how he’s been ostracized by the duffer brothers. i could talk about this forever lol. anyways, he and steve are in love but the duffers saw that they were too powerful bye.

Dude i also have a whole manifesto about billy. I feel you so hard. Also im not afraid of antis saying anything to me bc i always want to be talking about this even on my streamer side blog lol

What i have to add is my opinion on the fact that ppl call him racist and abusive.

Billy does in season 2 say something implicitly racist saying max shouldn’t hang out with ppl like lucas. But the duffers are cowards that refuse to touch on any racism in the 80s. Im p sure its by the request of caleb who plays lucas, but theyve had characters say the f slur, had episodes about misogyny and yet they refuse to acknowledge the racism lucas may have faced even in passing. Im not saying lucas should be hate crimed but i feel like it would explain why he really wanted to be accepted by the basketball team and obsessed with being popular in season 4.

The duffers never follow up on the racist comment billy made and its not talked about at all in season 3. it is not a reoccurring or central trait to billy. Billys racism is as relevant as the byers dog to the duffers. They forget everything they write.

Also, the way he treats Max is a direct product of his abuse from his father. Anything she does wrong, billy gets punished for. Its a common abuse tactic idk why ppl think billy treats her bad just bc he’s evil. Also like… does anyone call intense fighting between siblings abuse in any other context??

The ppl who say hes the evilest person on the show are hard core projecting their own highschool bully onto him. I saw ppl saying jason was not as bad as billy and jason actually shot at lucas with the intent to kill him when billy pushed him up against a wall aggressively (i think the cast and creators even said this). Jason is the personification of rich white christian heterosexual America and the violence that comes from their ignorance. Billy is literally a poor metal head that gets called gay slurs by his father. Jason has the power of the entire town behind him hunting down the party; billy is just some angry punk with no outlet that finds his little sister in a creepy house with a bunch of boys and a high school senior in the middle of the night.

I for sure get not liking billy but idk how it became so extreme and mainstream. It used to be just infighting in the fandom but now its all over tiktok and hating him is The Opinion to have.

I think it might be because the show is so black and white about whether or not a character is good or evil and people can’t handle that billy has any complexity at all.

Also is it a crime for a man to be attractive? Ppl will crucify you if you don’t have a moral reason for liking a character istg. Maybe he’s the only character on that show that has any depth AND has a fat ass??? Ever think of that??

Thanks for sending this ask!!

#dont even get me started to how little they do with steves character #oh is he the groups mom again??#will he talk about literally any of the other men his age on the show #i swear if he asks argyle how he’s doing #next season #argyle will be executed on the spot in front of everyone #tag #ask #anonymous #also how there is literally no storyline surrounding billy in season 2 gets wrapped up by the time he dies #and how season 4 takes place in between will and billys birthday and the duffers didnt even know that #ughh this show #i study it under a microscope everyday and it keeps me coming back for more

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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doja has a pretty estranged relationship w her dad. she says he wasn’t very involved and she was raised by her mom. i didn’t know doja liked a tweet that said that ab paraguayans but if she did it might’ve been out of frustration bc i remember bc of that whole situation there was a shit ton of ppl being racist to her n calling her slurs and being antisemitic. like i literally remember one of the paraguayan “fans” comparing her to hitler just bc she didn’t greet the ppl that camped out at her hotel which reeks of entitlement. the way ppl have these parasocial relationships with celebrities to the point they forget they are actual ppl with their own boundaries is v concerning 😟

i went on break so i was just reading about both things. her dad sounds like a nut tbh, i'm not surprised/don't blame her at all for not wanting anything to do with him.

anyway, this is getting kind of... heavy, so i don't want get too much into it because again, i'm no expert either... but i do sort of remember this, or at least the "i'm quitting part" (i didn't really pay attention outside of that)...

and it's unfortunate i think... because it's definitely not okay to like racist tweets just out of frustration, but at the same time, celebrity culture doesn't justify the racist abuse of her, either... so i'm torn between my understanding of the fact that her job must be taxing... and the thought that... frustration is sometimes the price.

it's hard to say without a full set of details, you know, what really went on and who's right or wrong (meaning, i understand your sympathy towards her, as well as the other side)... but either way, at it's core... i think it was just a full-on a recipe for disaster.

#sorry people are talking so im unfocused but #im really not that sympathetic towards celebrities so i do think its gross #but at the same time like.#at the same time... people have gotten on other celebrities LESS for worse #so im also just like. whatever. she's gonna be famous regardless so getting hung up on this is wasted energy #also it just feels weird to point fingers #dunno #i have another ask about it so youll see more of my thoughts there #ask #anon #caitie chats #doja convo tw

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marcilled · 3 years

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ok i made a different post about this but i just deleted it cuz i worded it poorly. but. does anybody else get the vibe that twitter's "stan culture" (this is the best word i can think to describe it, sorry) is like... almost cult-like in nature?

I don't mean to throw the word around lightly, i know it is rather disrespectful to cult survivors to joke about cults, or even to make the accusation lightly... i don't think it is a de facto cult at all, more like a... proto-cult? or something? idk. There's not really a single Leader that is knowingly leading these ppl and profiting off of them, but the behavior of "stans" honestly feels cultish to me. and i really truly worry for young people who get wrapped up in this toxic culture.

as everyone following me the past couple days has seen from all these nasty anons- if you do anything to slight the person/people they "stan", they will literally do anything & everything to justify their twisted amoral behavior towards you... in my case i am white so they say i am being racist & a "white savior" by me calling taylor swift a "racist rich white bitch".

countless ppl dogpiled me, called me transphobic slurs, suicide baited me, tried to be fatphobic to me for some reason (i am literally underweight), etc etc etc...

none of them seem to care or even acknowledge the horrible behavior of their peers, i saw like one person replying to another one of them on twitter like "don't be homophobic to her!" and everyone else was just like "lol who cares"

the ends justify the means.

it is my observation that most of the behavior exhibited by stan twitter users seems to coalesce on this... idea of "activism"... perhaps because black twitter users pointed out how "stanning" is aave, and "stan twitter" stole the term for their own use, to the point where basically no one knows its origins as aave anymore. so they reacted in kind by like. trying to signal boost posts about black lives matter, black fans that needed help, etc... i am white so i won't say more than that, make your own conclusions there

but it's just become this sort of. twisted mangled idea of "activism". to the point where the social consciousness of ppl on stan twitter almost seems like a completely superficial facade put up because they know that it will give them some level of sympathy from others... or... something?? i dunno the exact reasoning, but. it is the way it is.

To give an example of what I'm trying to express- you've surely seen people from stan twitter say "STREAM [NEW SONG]!!!" (particularly kpop, but now that has expanded to like, literally any pop celebrity you could think of)

They get to the point where they like... literally will play the song over and over and over again on loop, to the point where i wonder how they don't get fucking sick of it. they just do this shit with every song by the artist(s) they stan, to try to get them to Trend Harder, or to get on the Charts. or to get more Views. there is this obsession with becoming validated to the masses, that they need to prove how Good the artist they stan is, and how everyone else, especially all the haters and "antis", are Flops.

What I'm saying is: they literally view their behavior as some twisted form of "activism", whether they want to admit it or not. They also view it as activism to make their little twitter threads about every possible controversy to do with the person they stan, and why all of them are false allegations or over-exaggerated, or, sometimes, that it's actually just fine and you should just let people enjoy things ok? <3

Seriously: this isn't just taylor swift, this isn't just kpop... there are threads on twitter about why the dream smp members are all flawless uwu innocent boys who can do no wrong and have nothing but goodness in their hearts. i had to see a thread the other day where someone genuinely called taylor swift an "unproblematic queen". this is real shit! people really believe this stuff. it's all very disturbing for many reasons.

Most disturbing of all, though, is how they treat "haters"... if you vocally insult one of the people that has a fanbase like this, like i did on twitter, they may find your innocuous post you made for your meager ~400 twitter followers and tell EVERYONE THEY KNOW to ratio you, report your tweets, etc. like literally i was just minding my business when i saw i had 30+ retweets on that post that just said "taylor swift is overrated", all of them were qrts already being rude as fuck to me

and if you bite on their bait for even a second, they'll take any opportunity they have to rip you to shreds. they found a "vulnerability" (not really) in my "defense" in that i am white, so they used that as a weapon against me in their bid to make Me the person who is Actually problematic, not their flawless queen taylor swift (even though... she is... also a white woman.) And I say that they "used it as a weapon", bc it's the same thing that every anon hate message i've gotten since going on priv has said. Oftentimes, right alongside other violently hateful shit (transphobia, fatphobia, ableism... all in the same message telling me that i'm being racist by calling taylor swift racist)

Stan culture is teaching young adults & kids that it's ok to bully people "for the right reasons". it's teaching them that your interests are paramount, and that it is doing activism to Consume Content. you can see this in the myriad social media posts, where ppl will bemoan others for talking about pirating games/movies, because "we need this one to sell well!!!!!", or even just talking about watching a movie multiple times because "IF WE DON'T WATCH IT ENOUGH TIMES THEY MIGHT CANCEL THE SERIES" ...

Anyhow, not to sound like an Old Person, but i hate the future!!! Kids, teens, please do better for yourself & your peers. "Stan culture" as it is is very new, and it's Not normal. Don't let it become normalized.

#vivi bleats #txt #long post #this is still not terribly clear or concise but hopefully i didnt say anything too boneheaded #let me know if i was disrespectful about anything

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theflopwonder · 3 years

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Black Tim Drake headcannons nobody asked for by an actual black person cuz I remembered his live action casting and I like projecting

- he's a lil carton of half n half. His mom is black and his dad is white and they were college sweethearts.

- when he was young he wore his hair in a really defined curly afro and his earliest memories are of sitting in between his mothers legs as she styled it for him. She had a special way with her hands to where combing it somehow never hurt.

- In the picture with the Graysons he had his hair in the most adorable little cornrows and Dick complimented them which meant a lot to the little guy at the time

- but when he went to start school, as per the racist dress code, he was forced to cut it and that was his first heartbreak.

- he wore a simple ceaser cut until he became robin and his mom died. When he transferred into public school where they dont give a fuck he cut it into a hightop fade while his dad was in a coma cuz Kendrick Lamar had just broken into the mainstream at the time n he wanted to follow the trend but also as a way to honor his mother

- the overall amount of black people he was exposed to was very limited due to the schools he was placed in, so he dealt with plenty microagressions (and internalized antiblackness he worked through it tho) His mother was never ashamed of her race but she grew up relatively well off in the suburbs and was new money so thus, her ideas of "the best schools" were heavily influenced by white academia standards.

- Jack was one of those "I don't see color" parents so he doesn't realize how important it is for Tim to be around his culture and as a result, Tim is a little unaware. Could only name maybe 3 cookout songs TOPS off the dome. Maybe 4 if you play it by ear. Public school was *definitely* a culture shock.

-now once Tim got used to Young Justice antics he's down for the ride most of the time. But every once in a while they would just do something a little too wacky and him and Anita would always, without fail, find each others eyes and give *that* look to each other

- he considered locing up his hair because given his .... extracurriculars the low maintenence of it appealed to him but Jack and his unconscious bias said no

- he was one of those kids who loved anime .... like was OBSESSED with Naruto, Dragon Ball n Bleach specifically. Parents bought him merch, he naruto ran until middle school, the whole nine yards.

- also probably had a real HEAVY street fighter video game phase

- when he went to public school and started being around more people who looked like him he definitely practiced using slang in the mirror to fit in but had enough dignity to realize how fucking stupid it sounded and just decided to be himself in the end.

- I think that's something he'd end up discussing with Cass at certain points too, wanting to learn about their respective cultures but having no idea where to start

- ppl try to say he looks racially ambiguous and maybe from a certain angle with the mask on, possibly but for the most part, no. he's just lightskin.

- had a supereme and a champion phase. also owns a Gucci belt just because.

- had a sneakerhead phase too till his dad went broke then he just kinda ... tapered off from it (all his shoes are creased now)

- has definitely asked a villain (most likely the riddler) who was in paris.

- has also pulled the "did you just call me a slur" line at multiple criminals. Bruce and Dick have both told him to stop but the faces of terror every time. Worth it.

- his music taste is so chaotic, not because it's bad or anything but because there's literally everything on it. His shuffle will go from Outkast to My Chemical Romance to Carrie Underwood, to Mary J Blige to The Neighborhood he has to queue up a playlist before he gets handed the aux it's that wild.

- but despite all that he still can't fucking dance past a two step which frustrates him bc he definitely has rhythm his body just hates him

- his favorite Kanye album (which says a lot about a person .... trust me) is 808s and Heartbreak but he had a really intense Yeezus phase once

- during red robin era he couldn't bring himself to get to a barber but he also couldn't spend much time on his hair and let's just say cowls and coarse curls do not mix SO he would just throw it into the most sloppy braids for a month n call it a day.

- by the time he started at Wayne Enterprises it was the longest he had his hair since he was child. Everyone said it suited him, but god it was so much fucking work to maintain now that he was public figure and had to look good every second, so he kept the top extra fluffy but faded the sides again as a compromise.

- Kon teasted him relentlessly for stealing his old look.

#tim drake #red robin #robin #headcanon #black tim drake #batfamily #batman #dc #dc comics #a lot of these are about hair #tim's hair journey has always been important to me though #i love these because they dont effect much in the grand scheme of things but they add just enough nuance yknow?#oh so batman likes black people? who was in paris then bruce?#deep diving into some comics? :) deep diving into some bitches? :(

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thepunkbug · 3 years

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Shit babes, do I have some tea for you.

So I’ve been catching up on TikTok recently cause I deleted it a few weeks ago and redownloaded cause I missed wasting time on it. One of the people I follow is Ryan McCartan, and for those of you who don’t know, he is very politically active on Instagram and TikTok. He’s left-leaning and recently posted some videos stating that all white people, by virtue of being white and benefitting from that whiteness, are racist, and of course people freaked out about it. I’m not gonna get into that cause it’s a big discussion, but long story short, he isn’t wrong and there was more to it than that.

It sounds to me like someone reported the video for racist content (which it didn’t have, he wasn’t using slurs or anything, he was just talking about how white people benefit from racism), and people have been giving him shit. I camped out in one of the comment sections, calling out people who didn’t even watch the video before it was taken down, and I come across someone. . . ignorant.

Before I continue, some minor background stuff. My TikTok bio has my pronouns in them (she/her or they/them), and I identify most with she/her, but have no problems being referred to by they/them either. I put them in to normalize it and so people don’t misgender me, and I do this on every social media platform I can. Now, I’d normally use they/them pronouns for interactions with people online when they don’t make their pronouns clear. However, this person - let’s call him Dot - criticized my use of pronouns in my bio, and there’s a picture of an American football player in his profile picture, so I’ma just assume this is a cis guy I’m quarrelling with here.

More below the cut (this is a hefty boyo).

Okay, here we go again! Someone commented something ignorant, to which someone replied with “go cry about it.” Someone complained about that, and a second person replied with “go cry about it.” I rather enjoy this, since they’re getting upset over nothing and there’s no use arguing with dumb people, so I think this is something we should normalize.

Anyway, Dot replies to someone, something like “imagine copying someone else,” so I replied to him with “yeah? go cry about it.” Very witty, I know. I’m so very proud of myself.

From here on out, I’m just gonna do the back-and-forth dialogue, it’s easier that way.

Dot: imagine telling someone “go cry about it” when you cry if someone misgenders you (cry-laughing emoji)

Me: you are so damn sensitive and ignorant. would you like a hug? a sticker? go cry about it lmao

Dot: imagine barking at people (three cry-laughing emojis) and don’t call me sensitive when you tried to cancel everything that breathes

We’re mixing tenses here, and he’s saying something completely ungrounded and untrue, but I digress.

Me: literally what are you talking about? you’re the one tryna cancel Ryan for making a really good point. and hey, guess what? go cry about it fool (two laughing emojis)

Dot: I didn’t try to cancel him and it wasn’t a good point. Calm down they them she

Me: 1, if you don’t see the validity in what he said, that’s on you. 2, thanks for using my pronouns! how kind of you boo.

Dot: your welcome sweetheart. I wouldn’t want you to cancel me (wide-eyed emoji)

I refrained from complaining about the pet name, since I just used one and that wouldn’t be fair or make sense. Also, it’s “you’re.”

Me: oh don’t worry, you’re not important or significant enough to cancel. you’re safe!

This seemed to strike a chord.

Dot: sweetheart y’all canceled a 12 year old for posting a meme that has the n word in it

Dot: So i definitely think I’m significant enough for you to cancel

Dot: Also don’t call someone else in significant if you think it’s necessary to have your pronouns in your bio bc people wouldn’t be able to tell otherwise

First of all, he made no sense. Second of all, an insult? The delivery was weird and I was a little distracted by how insignificant is now somehow two separate words.

Me: what 12 year old? what meme?

Me: you’re not. you’re really not.

Me: idek what you’re trying to say here. I put my pronouns in so ppl know and to normalize it. if that bothers you...go cry about it?

Dot: sweetheart calm down it’s a joke

He has overused his pet name pass. Either that or I up the ante (which I think I do eventually).

Dot: my pronouns are nor/mal. I didn’t feel like it’s necessary to put them in my bio but I’ll tell you since you seem to care about pronouns so much

Progress? Perhaps?! I’m not sure. It’s unclear.

Me: I don’t laugh at things that aren’t funny babes.

Me: all pronouns are normal lmao, he, she, they, etc. if you wanna tell me then sure! wouldn’t wanna misgender you.

He has yet to further respond. I think I left off pretty civil, all things considered. If he (or they, or she, or anything else) decides to pick this back up, I’ll probably be nicer. It’s possible I can be a good influence on him! Convert him, so to speak. Wouldn’t that be neat?

I’ll make sure to update if there are any further developments. If you read this far, here, enjoy a picture of my cat giving me no personal space. He’s a dummy and a sweetheart lol I love him.

Until next time!

#thepunkbug #dot #transphobia tw #just in case this could count as transphobia #im not even sure how to tag this #oh well

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3aris · 4 years

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“nothing will work unless you do” - Maya Angelou

BLACK LIVES MATTER

WE KNOW ALL LIVES MATTER

BUT RIGHT NOW BLACK LIVES ARE THE ONES IN DANGER!

RACISM:

a complex system of beliefs and institutions that elevates whites at the expense of non-whites.

we all exist in and benefit from this system, whether we notice it or not.

WHITE PEOPLE CANNOT EXPERIENCE RACISM!

- discrimination is not racism

- our society prioritizes and caters to the experiences and benefits of white people.

- white people hold the power in society. the ones in power cannot be the victims

* IT’S A PRIVILEGE TO EDUCATE YOURSELF ON RACISM INSTEAD OF EXPERIENCING IT *

HOW THE F*CK DOES RACISM STILL EXIST? [@cicelyblaincolsulting]

1. Racism Is Upheld By:

- Systems (media, education, law, healthcare...)

- History (our society is informed by centuries-old habit, biases, & disparities)

- Privilege (difficult to notice, address, and sacrifice. as long as one group benefits from the oppression of another, racism will still exist)

- Micro-Aggressions (everyday slights, comments, & actions uphold racist power structures)

2.The Formation Of Anti-Blackness

- Capitalism (Black bodies have been used as the means of production (worker labor, tools, machinery) to create wealth for Europeans.)

- Slavery (Black people were stripped of autonomy, citizenship, rights, and treated as objects for over 300 years)

- Colonialism (the land we occupy was stolen from indigineous peoples and continues to be pillaged for raw material, natural resources, and human capital for white gain first and foremost.

3. EVEN THE SMALLEST ACTS OF RACISM UPHOLD DOMINANT POWER STRUCTURES

4. Racism Is An Iceberg

- Tip / Visible Part (KKK, neo-nazis, police brutality, racial slurs, hate crimes)

- Majority / Hidden Part (all lives matter, your English is so good, you’re so pretty for a Black girl, what about Black on Black crime, can I touch your hair, where are you really from?)

ANTI-RACISM:

the active process of identifying and eliminating racism by changing systems, policies, practices, and attitudes in order to redistribute and share power. [NAC International Perspectives: Women and Global Solidarity]

WHITE PRIVILEGE:

white privilege doesn’t mean your life hasn’t been hard, it means that the color of your skin isn’t one of the things making it harder

WHAT’S WRONG WITH POLICE [@leftnortheast]

1. Origins of Police in America

- slave patrols of armed white men to enforce slavery & chase down runaway slaves

- after slavery, these same patrols continued to enforce segregation & reinforce violence against Black ppl perpetrated by the KKK

- during the 19th century, the ultra-rich business owners relied on police to stop workers and immigrants from organizing labor unions

- LA’s “thin blue line” enforced segregation in the 1950s. look up “Black Wall Street”

- HISTORICALLY THE MAIN FUNCTION OF THE POLICE IS TO PROTECT WEALTH & ASSETS BY PRESERVING INSTITUTIONAL RACISM

2. Police Today

- when police commit crimes, the investigations are performed by the police themselves (union officials & internal affairs departments)

- only 33% of investigations end in police being convicted, compared to 68% in general pop.

- at least 40% of police families have experienced domestic violence, compared to 10% in the general population

3. ACAB: What It Means

- all cops are bastards

- it does NOT mean that individual cops are incapable of doing good things, but that the institution of policing is harmful and beyond saving

- the laws that “good” cops enforce work to uphold a harmful status quo that keeps working class and POC socially disadvantaged. therefore, there are no “good” cops

- EX: the three other officers who stood and watched Derek Chauvin kill George Floyd. they may be “good” because they didn’t kill Floyd, but they did nothing to prevent Chauvin from doing so.

THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF CALLING THE COPS [@freedomtothrive]

1. Don’t Feel Obligated To Defend Property

- is someone being actively hurt or endangered by property “theft” or damage?

- if “no,” let it be

2. If Something Of Yours Is Stolen...

- consider going to the police station instead of bringing cops into your community, you may be inadvertently putting someone art risk by calling the cops

3. If You See Someone Exhibiting “Odd” Behavior...

- don’t assume they are intoxicated

- ask if they are ok, if they have a medical condition, and if they need help

4. If You See Someone Pulled Over With Car Trouble...

- stop & ask if they need help or if you can call a tow truck for them

- calling police may result in unnecessary ticketing, target undocumented ppl, etc.

5. Keep A Contact List Of Community Resources

- EX: suicide hotlines, mental health assistance, etc.

- ppl with mental illnesses are 16x more likely to be killed by police

6. Check Your Impulse To Call The Police On “Suspicious” People

- is their race, gender, ethnicity, class, or housing situation influencing your action?

- calling the cops on such people can be death sentences (EX: Trayvon Martin)

HOW WILL WE STAY SAFE WITHOUT POLICE? [@mpd_150] [@wretched_flowers_]

1. Community Members

- mental health service providers, social workers, victim/survivor advocates, religious leaders, neighbors & friends need to look out for one another

- not armed strangers with guns who likely don’t live in the communities they patrol (police)

- society expects police to do too much: violent crimes, traffic stops, chasing loose dogs, etc.

2. What About Violence?

- crime isn’t random, it happens because ppl are unable to meet their needs EX: money, food, rent, etc.

- this problem can be solved with an emphasis on jobs, education, community centers, mental health resources.

- cops don’t prevent violence, they invite it through constant violent disruption of our communities

3. It’s Not Impossible

- look at the abolition of slavery, the 40hr work week, etc. those were accomplished through gradual progress

- redirect funds away from the police department toward those community-based alternatives listed above. LOOK UP HOW MUCH YOUR CITY / STATE SPENDS ON POLICING.

14 WAYS WHITE PPL CAN MAKE LIFE LESS FRUSTRATING FOR p.o.c. [@privtoprog]

1. trust / listen to POC assessment of a situation

2. don’t assume all POC have same views

3. don’t guess / assume ppl’s race

4. read & share articles relating to daily POC experiences

5. just because you have a POC friend / relative / partner doesn’t mean you can’t be racist. if anything, it means you should be more critical of your actions / words & how they affect those around you

6. don’t play devil’s advocate on race conversations. JUST. LISTEN.

7. understand that America has what it has because it stole land from indigenous people and stole people from Africa to build America

8. care about race on the other 364 days that aren’t MLK Day

9. don’t assume you know what it’s like to experience racism. you don’t & can’t. that’s the point.

10. nothing in your life has been untouched by your whiteness. everything you have would have been harder to come by if you had not been born white.

11. don’t get defensive when someone calls you out on racism, be grateful. it’s a learning moment.

12. move past white guilt. guilt it’s unproductive. just BE BETTER.

13. fighting racism isn’t about you. it’s about liberating POC from a racist world / system.

14. being an ALLY is a verb, not a noun. you can’t be an ally just because you say you are. actions are louder than words.

WHAT WHITE PPL CAN DO OVER TIME [@prettydecent]

1. Research & Learn In Public

- identify, name, & challenge the norms, patterns, traditions, structures,and institutions that keep racism & white supremacy in place

- TALK TO & EDUCATE OTHER WHITE PEOPLE. it’s YOUR job, not POC, to teach white ppl how to fight racism

- let people you care about know this is something you care about

2. Open Your Eyes To Anti-Blackness

- there are no race-neutral spaces, “colorblindness” does not exist.

- Anti-Blackness is the way in which Black ppl have been targeted & stripped of their humanity

- pay attention to CODED LANGUAGE. what do we mean by “good” neighborhoods & “good” schools?

- who starts trends? who gets credit for them? EX: rock & roll

3. Pay Attention To Your White Experience

- we will never full understand Black ppl’s experiences

- look at how your whiteness has impacted your life: encounters with police, airport security? job interviews?

- what are you “good at” and how might your race have affected that?

- white experiences are the social “default,” EX: “Is The Country Ready For Its First White President?”

4. Speak Up & Argue With White People

- silence is a privilege & acts in directly upholding the system of white supremacy

- look at how movies, TV, and other media treats Black and POC, and call it out when you see it.

- hold other white ppl accountable, THERE IS NO GROWTH WITHOUT DISCOMFORT. we make mistakes but that does not mean we can’t learn & grow from them.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT RACISM [@jenerous]

1. Intent & Impact

- white ppl say that we don’t INTEND to be racist.

- intent doesn’t matter if the IMPACT of our actions harms someone and/or upholds a racist system

2. Watch Your Tone

- we don’t get to tell Black ppl how to talk about their own oppression (“tone policing”)

- when we talk to other white ppl about race, we need to speak in a way that best conveys the information, feelings aside

3. Tell Stories Of Your Own Privilege

- tell your family members a specific way your white privilege has protected you

- this is also a great opportunity for you to reflect on & better understand your own privilege

- WE LEARN BY TEACHING

4. Share Some Of Your Own F*ck Ups

- admitting you’ve been wrong before helps normalize personal growth

- makes it easier for your family to reflect on their own failures & move on

- vulnerability is strength

5. Make It Okay To Ask Questions

- ask your family if they have questions about racism

- this may bring up stuff you don’t know either, a great opportunity to learn together!

6. Keep Asking “Why Do You Think That Is?”

- find a race-related statistic that you both agree on (EX: “Black ppl are jailed for weed more than white ppl are”)

- ask your family member why they think that statistic is true until there’s no answer that makes sense besides “racism”

7. Plant A Seed Of Doubt

- unlearning a racist system means flipping everything we know on its head.

- that requires small steps, such as getting your family members to question their existing logic around ONE topic (Black hair, cultural appropriation, affirmative action, etc.)

- when they say “hmm... i never thought about that,” you’re making progress!

8. Commit To The Idea That It Is Possible To Change Someone’s Mind

- your own anti-racism journey is proof!

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF [@is_siigii]

1. Who taught you about race & culture?

2. What can you do to support POC in your community?

3. What are you committed to doing outside of social media to fight racism?

4. How do you behave when you are confronted with racist behavior?

5. What do you want to learn more about?

6. What information could you teach people?

7. In what ways have you ignored this behavior in the past?

8. Why is it important for everyone to work toward ending this injustice?

9. How can you use anti-racist knowledge to change & progress?

10. Do you owe anyone an apology?

11. How do you handle conflicts?

#black lives matter #anti-racism #anti-racist #defundthepolice #defund the police

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andysnorwayaffairs · 5 years

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Final Project

Pt 1; a perfect ending. feeling a rush of shared excitement - finally! just like me!

warmth, embraced, a queer kind of friendship. we sat in the grass and talked about how our lives were growing up, how our queerness was realized and how it affected the way we walk in the world. our stories are so similar yet so, so different. miles and miles of time away, you announce to your friends that you’re probably maybe gay. you start a spark in their minds, and soon after you’re deemed the trail blazer of coming out. you are brave, do you know it? you were the person who i wished for. so desperate for approval from others, and not meeting anyone like you, i took it upon myself to starve my queerness, the differentness, the part of me that i knew i could definitely be hated for. and i can’t stand the thought of being hated. and a part of me hated myself for who i was. i was taught that i couldn’t love like that, that it wasn’t *real*, that anything other than normal is impossible, wrong, destructive. so i listened, and i believed them. not completely, that is also true. that’s why i never stopped immersing myself in online queer culture, why i desperately searched for any sign of queerness in the online personas i followed and in the fiction that i read. we talked about this too, how we’d entrench ourselves in media and later realize that we were part of the group we were so obsessed with. finally... just like me

you opened your heart so quickly - your friends, they tell me that they’re so happy that you’ve met me. you open a window into your life and lend a hand to help me hop in. i see how you love others, and how they love you. we run through the lawn of a backyard riddled with ripe fruit and laugh like children at how sweet the juice is. we share a meal and spend hours talking about nothing and everything. i sometimes stop and listen to the chatter, and i feel complete warmth even when i cannot understand what is being said. we read the cards i brought and i learn how each of you sees love. i see the way you interact with your loved ones, the way you so deeply care to spend time with them. letting go, giggling in giddy joy, acting like absolute fools. finally, just like me

cried a farewell last night

thank you for offering me a bizarre, unfair amount of kindness

thank you for showing me a glimpse of your life, your entire world

thank you for extending a hand in friendship, in solidarity

thank you for being my friend

I feel like my time here, my glimpse into another person’s life, feels like a glimpse into an alternate timeline. A timeline in which I accepted myself from the beginning. A timeline in which I told a friend about my crush on Jen from Buzzfeed. A timeline when I refused to normalize myself, refused to uphold the boundaries that were unfairly placed on me. A timeline when I was brave. A timeline when I stopped being so damn scared. A timeline when I realized that my friends would still stay friends with me, and those who didn’t want to, I should let go of anyways. There will always be people who don’t match up with your values, your energies, your being. I won’t lie to myself and say that it wouldn’t hurt like a bitch, but it’s a hard fact of life that homophobes, transphobes, racists, xenophobes, ie bigots exist and there will be always be bullies and people who don’t care about you, who WANT to put you down, who want to hurt you. In a world of power, there will be those with some and those without. I was given a small window into my friend’s life and saw a life pathway built around friendships who learn and grow right alongside you. I’ve always thought about that – what if? What if I let go earlier? In my timeline, the forces around me were not as kind to me. I was told queerness was ugly, so utterly upside down. I didn’t have anyone to tell me otherwise. Perhaps if I had a positive role model to tell me that it WAS okay, that it was beautiful and wonderful. Perhaps if I had a friend like them in my life who was the first to come out and encouraged others by simply living their life the way THEY want to, perhaps I would have had the courage to do so earlier. I can’t change the past.

But I can think about how the events of my past shaped my present, and how my present shapes my future. Thank God - I DID let go! There’s no race to live your truth, but oh god it feels so good to do it NOW. I’m so thankful that I found the bravery these people I know now have embraced so many years ago. I feel like my own person, like an entire human soul. I don’t feel the need to please anyone. This queer experience, of finding yourself and maybe even fearing yourself, but, ultimately, coming to love yourself despite dominant society failing you, that is a queer experience. Regardless of any experience, something we all share is having to live in a world that ultimately does not accept us, does not want us.

An ode to knowing that although things are different here, and that there’s no possible way that I could have had a similar timeline just simply because of how different our spheres and worlds are... despite this, despite the fear and self hate and internal violence I was forced into because of the life I was born into, despite all of this, I was still able to find myself and love myself and find others who love me for my whole humanness.

There’s a lot of work to be done in the world, for our lives and our safety and our happiness. I think the friends I’ve met here are doing that work. Through their love for each other and thus their refusal to conform, to stay quiet, to accept the norms in place.

Meeting this special friend may have been completely chance, but I believe fate had a little bit to do with it too. To give me this window, to let me see what beauty it is to allow a person to be themselves. The sooner, the better.

____ DISCUSSION

Pt 3:

It’s funny to see how these ppl’s reflections of their lives fit in line with exactly what we discussed through our readings and class discussions. Norway may be progressive in law, but not necessarily in practice. Each of the queer people I asked this about, or asked them to speak about their queer experience, expressed frustration at there not being much of a strong queer community here, and how they still experienced everyday oppression (you may call these micro aggressions).

Nordic model of inclusion + welfare, making this a space where it is looked down upon to discriminate for someone’s sexuality

A different relationship to Christianity

In the U.S., I grew up in a heavily queerphobic, heavily strict and monitored environment where I was even monitoring myself, reprimanding myself for all of the gay content I was consuming but allowing myself to keep doing it because I was “outside” of the community and thus could not be associated with it or have to think of the consequences.

In middle school I was fully aware that I had strong crushes on gay female celebrities but was petrified of sharing that information with anyone.

I shut myself down immediately, but continued to consume gay, lgbt, and trans media for years and years after, allowing myself to do this because I could convince myself that I was just “a straight girl” who was a big fan of the community.

After coming to college and experiencing true freedom from the expectations and values placed on me, it took me less than three days to come to the realization that I was in fact, extremely not straight. It took me 6 more months to fully feel comfortable admitting to myself and claiming the label that I was gay. It took me another year to “come out” to all of my friends and folx I really cared about.

-talk about how this is a divide between my experience and the experiences of the friends I made here. L & their friends came out when they were extremely young, in middle school actually. Our timelines diverge here.

Only recently, I began to make friends on the shared experience of our queerness. Meeting my close friends now, sharing intimate + tender moments. Loving each other and supporting one another the way family might do. A queer kind of love shared in these emotional bonds. A kind of love I had not experienced before my full acceptance and life as a queer person. Tender, radical love.

Meeting L, sharing on our experience of being queer and trans. And not to say that their life in Norway is so much better. The Nordic model may allow for some general acceptance, but queerphobia still has its roots in other malicious ways. Many of L’s friends still don’t use their pronouns. A is called the slur version of the word lesbian, and she recognizes that being a lesbian is not favorable to society. She wants to be a prof of gender studies at her uni but told me that since there is already one queer person on staff, she’ll never be hired on.

M telling me about how even tho queer ppl are accepted on the outside, and in the law, in practice, not so much.

-A telling me that people hate lesbians

-in Norwegian, the word for lesbian is also really similar to the slur, “fucking lesbian”

CONNECTION TO THE FIRST ARTICLE WE READ

Norway’s state feminism and inclusion of queerness is heteronormative, only assimilating those that fit into the family, hetero model (thinking to naked sculpture park, extremely family oriented)

Same sex has to still be straight – family, private, culturally straight.

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lovedeluxe92 · 5 years

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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

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moonmothmama · 6 years

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ok. so. The Princess Bride. i read it yesterday.

and right up front, before even a review, i’m gonna go ahead and list everything objectionable in the book that i can recall. please don’t take the length of the bullet pointed items to follow as an indication that the book was wildly problematic and offended me at every turn; it wasn’t and it didn’t. but there were some things that made me go: 😑 or 😒, and here it all is, presented with context, before anything else, because to be honest, i didn’t expect any of it. the film is relatively spotless, which is pretty rare for that era, and if any of you are thinking of reading it, you could do with being more prepared for this than i was.

first off, racism. two passing remarks. one isn’t even in the story proper; it’s in the first whole long intro bit from the author/narrator. that takes some explanation, i suppose: like in the film, the story is presented as a book having been written by “S. Morganstern,” except instead of a grandfather reading to his sick grandson, the narrator is interjecting with notes on the original text that he has abridged. the beginning is a whole long shpiel that, in my opinion, could have been significantly pared down with absolutely zero loss to the story (which! hey! the film did perfectly! go figure!). anyway, the first racist remark is an absolutely tasteless line in which the narrator pisses and moans about his fat son, making a crack about “painting him yellow” and making him a sumo wrestler. y i k e. the other passing remark is from Miracle Max (really, truly, the film version of this scene is miles better than the book version, but contains an important plot detail, so you should prob still read it, but i’ll give you the lowdown if you wanna skip). he refers to Iñigo as a sp*ck (rather bafflingly, i might add, bc Iñigo is a Spanish man... from Spain... not a Hispanic or Latino man from Latin America. so. i mean i’m certainly not an expert on slurs but... i have never in my life heard that term in reference to a person from Spain, and am virtually certain it was invented to refer to ppl from the americas) and in the same breath uses an objectionable term for a Polish person. sooo... again: y i k e. what gets me is that... these could’ve just been edited out? why weren’t they? i mean i know why but

fat shaming! see above. though to be honest, any true negativity about fatness is restricted to the author/narrator’s interjections; there are a few minor fat characters in the story and those depictions, without being too long-winded or spoilery, didn’t offend me (fyi: i’m fat). if you want the details, please feel free to message me about it.

if we can go back to the whole long beginning shpiel from the author/narrator, it’s just... eh. he comes off as kind of a jackass, tbh. not even halfway through it i found myself more than a little impatient for the story to begin, and that could be at least partly because the film spoiled me with a lovely, not annoying, not problematic scene of Granddad Columbo reading to Baby Fred Savage where no one made any racist remarks or ragged on fat kids. the basic gist, if you want to skip it, is that the author, as a kid, had this book read to HIM by his father, who was a Florinese immigrant, and nearly illiterate in English, but still labored over reading the English translation to his American-born son, who adored the book and requested it read to him dozens and dozens of times over the years, refusing to read it himself (though he read plenty of other books). as an adult, he buys his son the book, and is crushed when the son doesn’t like it. he then reads it for the first time, and realizes his father skipped over huge, boring blocks of text. he read his son only The Good Parts. so he decides to edit that shit out himself and release the abridged version he loves so much. add into that some complaining about his wife and some extra blah blah, and that’s pretty much it.

you remember the scene in the movie where The Man In Black/Westley almost slaps Buttercup for what he believes is lying? in the book he actually slaps her. not that his actions seem supported or endorsed by the text, but still, there you are. Buttercup does push him off a cliff soon after, though, so. i wouldn’t call that ‘even’ exactly but, shrug

Vizzini, in the book, has a fucky leg and his back isn’t quite straight, and he’s referred to repeatedly as a “humpback” or “hunchback” which needless to say is Not Kosher

that, as i recall, is it. i hope i’m not forgetting anything. now onto content/trigger warnings:

alcoholism. this shouldn’t be a surprise if you’ve seen the movie: Iñigo has some, shall we say, issues

Fezzik’s parents were... terrible. CPS would be all over them. spoiler: basically they emotionally blackmailed their son into fighting professionally, which they knew he hated, by telling him they’d abandon him if he didn’t

Buttercup has some kinda messed up (read: unsettling but in no way graphic) nightmares after leaving Westley when they’re found by Prince Humperdinck at the Fire Swamp, mostly involving bearing children to the Prince who she once again is set to marry

the slurs and whatnot i mentioned above

violence, obviously. nothing worse than the film as i recall.

that’s it i think.

okay. all that said. did i enjoy the book? yes i did. a lot.

now, you might be thinking: jesus, Kathleen, after all the shit you just listed? and to this i reply: listen. there is no Unproblematic Media, so you either enjoy some things that are flawed, or you enjoy nothing at all. there is plenty of objectionable shit in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit! fucking plenty! and i love those books! and so do plenty of other people! in my own humble opinion, the good story is worth the shitty bits, because the shitty bits aren’t like, fundamental to the plotline. the story isn’t built on offensive humor or nasty, bigoted attitudes. and they’re also not the most egregious examples of Objectionable Content i’ve come across- not by a longshot. there are levels to offense. there are tiers of bullshit. this is on a far lower tier than a whole host of other things i could mention. but if any of this stuff i’ve listed crosses a line for you, i totally understand and respect that. that’s why i’ve bothered to list it at all. imo, how you respond to objectionable content is important: you don’t ignore it or excuse it, you acknowledge and criticize it. and if you still enjoy whatever the thing is, you allow yourself to enjoy it, without getting hissy or defensive with people for whom the objectionable content ruined the book/movie/whatever.

there you go, there’s my disclaimer for having enjoyed the book. your mileage may vary.

okay. so. review time.

Buttercup is a far more interesting character in the book than the movie, for which the movie can’t be faulted all that much, because you can’t easily translate a character’s inner monologue/unspoken thoughts to the screen, especially not with the time limit that comes with the medium of film. but watching her struggle with her feelings and life choices (and... lack thereof, since her choice is between marrying the prince and being put to death, which isn’t much of a choice, even if she tries to reason it out later by telling herself she COULD have said no... and initially did) creates far more of a bond between her and the reader in the book than, personally, i felt watching the movie. also she has a great line after Westley calls her beautiful at their reunion- she says something like, ‘everyone’s always calling me beautiful, i have a mind too, why don’t you talk about that’

Both Westley and Buttercup are immature, naive, and foolish in the beginning, and if Westley strikes you as Extra Dickish, a) rewatch the film! he did act like a bit of a dick, there, didn’t he? b) remember that in the story he’s a young man between the ages of eighteen and twenty five, which in my considerable experience is the age at which young men are generally at their peak of Asshole. sorry dudes

and not that Buttercup herself is a complete peach! she deals very poorly with her emotions in general and acts kinda shitty herself once or twice. i won’t say too much lest i spoil everything that’s different between the film and the book.

Prince Humperdinck is also a more three dimensional character; still a rat bastard tho.

onto Fezzik and Iñigo.

as i have said in other blog posts, these boys are... pretty much the whole reason i sought out the book. and... jesus.

you get all the way into the tragic backstories that were only hinted at in the film. okay, Iñigo’s backstory was more than hinted- but of course you go so much deeper in the book- and Fezzik’s was less than hinted, reduced mostly to a peek at the insecurity that Vizzini exploits and preys upon to keep him in line. not that you’d have to expend a great effort to him to keep him in line; his personality is docile and non-confrontational. truly not the slightest bit aggressive by nature. he’s also kinda clingy and needy, which is a thousand percent understandable given his childhood, and tbqh doesn’t need to be browbeaten for Vizzini to keep him on his short, cruel leash. which makes it all the more painful! hurrah! 😭

also you actually get to meet Iñigo’s father, Domingo Montoya, in a flashback, aaaand... i kinda love him. probably predictable if you know me.

anyway. tragic backstories. which further illuminate the emotional and psychological issues that make them so dependent on Vizzini, and turn them to lives of crime in his employ. poor boys! oy gevalt. sympathy abounds; i honestly don’t know how you could go through the book and not fall at least a little bit in love with this duo, whose friendship is precious and adorable and a balm to the soul that is aching from their painful life stories and unhealthy coping mechanisms. they’re each, very plainly, the only friend the other has in the world, and are constantly helping and bolstering one another. it’s heartbreakingly sweet. i think those boys will be alright as long as they stick together.

and now, the repeated theme of the book, that is presented with far less intensity in the film: life isn’t fair. which, one supposes, is true. but while the narrator’s framing of that assertion may give you the same misgivings they gave me- bitching about his fat son and his less than ideal relationship with his wife- you can also step back and appreciate it as a wee pearl of wisdom. life is often unfair, but that doesn’t mean it’s altogether bad or that you can’t enjoy it. idk, that’s my attitude, man.

i could talk about the ending here, but i won’t. at least not too much. not to spoiler-ish-ly. if you don’t want to know anything about the book’s ending at all, feel free to not read the last bit here, except for the very last lines which are bolded.

ready? yes? no?

...

the ending to the book is different than the movie. there is a more philosophical, open ended conclusion than you could really get away with in a movie. at least this movie.

just throwing it out there: i believe in happy endings. ones in real life. but i kind of disagree with the author a little bit, in that i don’t think happy endings necessarily have to be perfect and unblemished to qualify as happy endings. that may be the way “happily ever after” is generally presented, but to me, “happily ever after” means, maybe some shit happened, but none of it was completely devastating, and in the final analysis, life was satisfying. that’s the kind of real life happy ending i’m aiming (and hoping) for. this might sound vague but i hope it’ll make sense if you read the book.

if you wanna do that, btw, i read it for free online at allnovel dot net.

#kathleen reads the book #the princess bride #william goldman #book review #ish? thing?#blogging on my blog

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bittersot · 3 years

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2020-12-17 pt

Wrote this to vent and it became much longer than planned:

So I've been feeling like shit since I was 13 cause around that time I got depression due to me ending up in a class with mostly new ppl(I had pretty much only gone to school with ppl who had known me since kindergarten until then), and at the age where me being autistic being very obvious to everyone around me and me feeling extremely othered and cut everyone off because of #fear due to social anxiety when I got singled out by my classmates, and I didn't know what was wrong with me, or that anything WAS inherently different abt me, I thought I had ADHD at age 17 and got diagnosed with that + Autism(which I didn't expect at all) right before I turned 19.

And inbetween the age of 13-17 I did a LOT of introspection to like, "solve" what I did wrong so I could get along with people again, and I realized that I fucking hated my dad and that he has raised me and my siblings to take criticism and bullying, because ever since I was little, whenever me or my siblings did something bad/wrong (cause we were KIDS lol) we were met with snide comments and made to feel bad for not knowing things, and learned to lash out and attack to "defend" ourselves because we felt that we had to, cause we were told our everything would attacked whenever anyone said anything ever. And that + RSD was NOT a good recipe for most of my life (and still affects me to this day).

I would compulsively lie because when you have ADHD you fuck up a LOT due to impulsiveness, and never learned how to back off and do things calmly cause admitting I was wrong was equal to admitting that I was worthless and would never make it on my own(my father has said this exact thing in swedish). And like, my mother never defended me and instead defended HIM by telling me that "old dogs can't learn new tricks" when I talked about how he invalidated my emotions and how he made fun of my little brother SPITTING on me and tried to play it off when he could tell I was clearly hurt because it made HIM uncomfortable to deal with.

He has clearly never actually wanted us kids and had us to make my mother happy but didn't actually think too much about actually raising us, much less that we'd be around for(at least) 20 years.

Anyways, so, my point is, I have wanted to move out for a WHILE, because my family have been terrible for my mental health and I can't stand eating with them cause I'm autistic and they are loud and it wears me out and everyone is competetive cause we were raised that way and all advice I offer to them in how to deal with their issues and what I can do to make shit easier for them is brushed off. I want to move out cause I've noticed that lately, when I am home alone with only my cat I feel as if I have SO much more free time, cooking went by fast and I felt like I had time to do everything I wanted, despite being at work 9 hours every day + transit to and from work taking roughly 1 hour itself. When I was alone I felt more comfortable to move around in the house, it's like when an option showed up, I still had issues with executive functioning and doing stuff immediately, but I did do it, and I've noticed that when the rest of the family is home, there is a 90% chance that whenver I am deciding on what to do(eat, shower, bake, draw, play video games etc) that I just end up going to my room and lying in my bed, not sleeping, but not really enjoying it either, I just, don't feel comfortable doing anything with them around, they tire me out.

So, I want to move out, but I just recently got my first job, and there is a LOT to do when caring for your own place, even if its an apartment run by.landlord, and, besides all that, I could NEVER live alone, I NEED to have at least 1 more roomate, and here's the thing: I cut off EVERYONE in highschool, I don't hang out/talk with anyone my age in Sweden. Not only that, I'm autistic, regulation deficit, bisexual and questioning my gender, and on top of all that, I am very opinionated, so to find someone who 1, is not ableist/homophobic/transphobic/racist, and 2, is very much like me in terms of morals and 3, can STAND being around me, I am going to need to be SUPER picky. And like, finding other LGBT people in Stockholm around my age alone is difficult, I've tried on social media and barely gotten anywhere, and lord knows I don't know my social places where others like me would hang out.

I've always been the black sheep of the family and I don't think my siblings don't have it hard, but they very much do not understand what it's like to have no one around IRL who you can trust completely, and they like to make fun of it. I've never told them about my neurodivergence, but at this point I would be genuinely surprised if they didn't at least expect it. The thing is, they shit on things I do because of it all the time, in front of my parents, who know I am neurodivergent, and they do nothing about it, because me defending myself is on the same level on them calling me weird for very obvious autistic traits that aren't in anyway harmful. And I do think my mom wants me to be happy, and wants to care for me, but I really do think that she also wishes I wasn't like this, and that she too would be happier if I moved out, or didn't even exist at all. This is where I start crying while writing this, ha ha ha.

Anyways, my little brother has made fun of me for being uncomfortable with him screaming ableist slurs specifically to bother me, and my sister calls me weird and annoying for not wanting to eat with the rest of the family(when they always yell and almost constantly argue), and outright said she doesn't want me to live here anymore, and I'm just. Tired. I agree with you, I don't want to be here, but you don't understand what it is like to not have anywhere to turn, you're always surrounded by friends and make sure to rub it in how weird it is for me not to be the same.

I don’t know what to do, I got a job, I got a goal, a degree I desire, and ideas as to who I want to be, what I want to do and who I want to surround myself with. I’ve tried looking, and I’m going to keep trying until I find the friends I can trust. I wrote all of this originally to quickly vent about how my little sister telling me she doesn’t want me here anymore feels like it has all come full circle in a way since I turned 13, seeing as she herself is 13 now. She’s absolutely being dramatic, I know that, but I also think she’s honest, I know she is, I think we all would be happier if I didn’t live here, but I know it wouldn’t solve the rest of the issues with this family, the way she thinks it would.

So to end it all, I posted about the hunger thing earlier today, so I guess I’ll leave something else here as well, because it made me realize how much I forget over the years. The only reason I get by is due to my OCs, I have no emotional intimacy with anyone else, but if I may say, I’m pretty good at understanding the complexity of individuals, and make up different scenarios in my head where I go through different things. Not that it can be compared to real beings, but being able to come out, handle rejection, deal with ableism, workout how to explain my desires and wants to others, have prevented me from stagnating over the years of this solitude, and I rely on them a lot, which I’m sure I’ll forget in 10 years if I’m still around by then. Well, anyways, this rant is now 7500 symbols long, as well as 2 google docs pages. so I’m going to end it here, future me, if you read this far, drink water and brush your teeth.

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anjutaylor · 6 years

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Depression

So, I'm doing a YouTube animation video on depression and my experience 'overcoming it' [which I have far from overcome but much better] and I got the script pretty much finished, I’m going to post it here, just to see what response I get... Note this is a very brief script and is based on my own experience, it is not going to cover all aspects of depression. If there is something you would like me to include please just message me.

TW: brief mentions of rape and suicide

Let's talk about something: Depression. By definition, is "a mental health disorder characterized by persistent depressive mood and loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life." However, there is so much more than that, and a surplus of myths and stereotypes surrounding depression. But before I get into all that, let me start with what depression is NOT.

Depression is not set in stone, or binary, or black and white. Much like autism, depression has a spectrum of severity and symptoms that vary per person per day. Depression can include feeling sad, helpless, or anxious. It can include not having the physical energy to do things, even if you mentally want to do them. Depression can spur thoughts of hurting yourself or others. I personally think though, the main symptom of depression is the insecurity, the self-loathing, or just plain hating yourself thinking: "I'm stupid", "I'm ugly", or "I give up" etc....

I remember I used to put myself down on a daily basis, and I know a lot of people who still do. I remember one thing I used to tell myself was "I'm retarded" which I know is a slur, and offensive, but that was my point, to people with disabilities, god no, but to myself. I would call myself racial, homophobic, and sexist slurs all the time, simply, deep down, wanting to dehumanize and punish myself, simply for being who I was. I would never think of saying those things to anyone else, I'm not racist, homophobic, transphobic, or sexist, in fact, I admire those who are brave to come out with their sexuality and gender, to be able to be who you when it seems like the world is against you is wonderful. Seeing women go to school, have jobs and be in power is awe inspiring, and I saw everyone of every skin shade, hair and eye type etc.. was beautiful, just not me. No. I was an ugly disgusting pig, who was less than nothing. Yet, I portrayed myself happy, I was in a lot of clubs, got good grades, and didn't self-harm. Â but I fought a mental battle every day to do anything, other days couldn't get out of bed.

A friend of mine, on the other hand, put herself above others, because she had been so hurt in the past. She once told me "The best person for me is me, others just disappoint. The only one who can do anything right is me, so I just focus on me, because I'm the best” .At the same time, she was prone to mood swings and fits of rage, yet would cry in apology later because the world is so cruel, and all she wanted was someone to truly love her beside herself.

Another dear friend, was always happy and was the only person in our group who didn't have anything wrong with her. She was kind and loved by all, yet she was the only one of us who didn't live to graduate high school. My point is, everyone is different. You don't have to be sad to be depressed, it's entirely variable, despite popular belief all depressed people are always sad.

On another topic, outside of how depression affects us, how to improve. Yes meds and therapy help, but the only way to really progress is for you yourself to work to improve. Here are a few steps I know of to get you started:

1. Recognize you are a human being, and are worth being treated like one.

a. Remember how I said before that I dehumanized myself, ya don't do that anymore. It only dawned on my how bad I got when a friend, without my knowledge, took notes of what she heard me say to myself. The list when from me saying how ugly I was, to how I didn't deserve to be loved, to seeing I deserved to be raped. She asked, "would you say these things to others?"

"Of course not! That's just cruel."

"Then why say it to yourself?"

"that's.. well..different" she just deadpanned and I found how ridiculous I sounded. I'm a person, just like everyone else, so are you, and we all deserve to be treated with love and respect.

2. Do things that make you happy

a. You like games, play games. You like anime, play anime. You want to wear make up, you go! Want to wear a cute miniskirt or a t-shirt with your favorite franchise logo, you strut your stuff. Don't let others saying "nerd”, “weabo", "slut" whatever bring you down

3. Take care of yourself.

a. Seems cliché but ya, physically, eat, sleep right, exercise, take a shower, do your hair, do yoga, meditate. Take care of your physical body as well.

4. Get rid of unneeded stress

a. Cut out toxic ppl, they aren't worth it

b. Don't procrastinate on work, it seems easy, but you will never truly be able to relax when you have that report gnawing at the back of your mind.

Well, this is a really short list and there is so much more, but if you are struggling, know you aren't alone, you are a beautiful person and are worth fare more than you think, be good to yourself.

And with that, I hope you all have a good day, month, year, and life- live it to the fullest with no regrets, as time is short. See you guys next time, Byeeee

#script #depression #mental illness #healing #getting better

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justwaitingaroundtodie · 7 years

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Episode Thoughts

Poor Kyle... he was just trying to help Heidi. He got so excited... brushed and gelled his hair and everything.

Not a big fan of Kyle x Heidi but seeing her be all racist towards him made me sad for Kyle. He was just trying to be a good boi and he got disrespected :(

I really hope Heidi ends her relationship with Cartman soon but I still don't want her with Kyle if she can be so easily influenced by what others think.

I think it would be better if her and Kyle end up being just friends. Heidi said that she was in a really dark place before Cartman, and the poor girl clearly needs some proper support. However, I don't think she should be in a relationship with anyone right now. She's too suspectible to being heavily influenced and manipulated by whoever she's dating. Look at how (almost creepily) easy Cartman was able to 'get her back' after giving some racist, half-assed reason about Kyle trying to manipulate her 'unconsciously' just because he's Jewish. She needs support, but I think she relies too much on her partner and goes along with whatever they're doing. That's not a healthy trait to have if one is in a relationship.

I would really like to see more of her own thoughts. If she dated Kyle, she would just follow his example, even though it's usually a good one, it's still not her own opinion.

ALSO WHEN THE GIRLS WERE ROASTING CARTMAN I WAS LIVING, but I felt bad for Heidi too. Her staying with Cartman is mainly out of pride, since she doesn't want to be wrong. The girls were speaking the truth, Cartman's a fucking shitshow, but you don't talk about your friend's ex like that right in front of them (ppl the rule is that you don't talk shit about your friend's ex until they start doing it) and they were fucking rubbing it in her face. It made her feel more isolated and was eventually the trigger for her to go see Cartman (and get manipulated) again.

ALSO THE FACT THAT CARTMAN FUCKING PUSHED HEIDI IN FRONT OF A CAR AND CALLED HER A WHORE, YET DEFENDING IT BY BLAMING HIS SUGAR LEVELS AND HIS MOM WHAT DA FUCK IF THAT WAS ME I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE B Y E B I T C H.

ALSO THE WHOLE SEQUENCE WITH CARTMAN REALIZING KYLE WAS 'BEHIND' HEIDI LEAVING HIM WAS HILARIOUS IF NOT SOMEWHAT DISTRIBUTING. Kyle was speaking mad truth when he said that Cartman legit believes he's the victim in this (and every situation). SPOILERS BUT A BIG EXAMPLE OF THIS CAN BE SEEN IN THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE. Cartman's the fucking villain, but he tries to spin it a million different ways to make it seem like it's not his fault by having it be Mitch Connor (which is his fucking hand that he voices). EVEN THOUGH HES THE ONE DOING ALL THIS FUCKED UP SHIT HE TRIES TO BLAME HIS F U C K I N G H A N D.

I loved how realistic this episode was about with toxic relationships. People (like Heidi) who get sucked into this relationships are not blind to the truth, they're just scared and feel alone. They feel like it's better to be in a fucked up relationship with someone than be in no relationship at all.

The ending had me shook, not gonna lie, but remember Heidi's only like 10. I think she'll eventually move on from her toxic relationship with Cartman and find happiness somewhere else. I also really, really, REALLY hope that the kids stop being friends with Cartman. I know people give the argument that "oh he's only 10," and shit, but this different from using that argument to defend Heidi. She's never fucking intentionally killed and feed some kid his own parents or called people a bunch of racist or homophobic slurs or is a complete spoiled brat. When Kyle said that, "we're all kind of dating Cartman," I almost fucking clapped. He's so right, because throughout 21 fucking seasons, the boys don't always nesscarily support Cartman but most of the time they don't ever really try to stop him. They see him doing fucked up shit, like manipulating Heidi, and they turn the other way and do nothing about it. They let themselves be treated like shit and yeah sometimes they'll protest and say something mean back to Cartman, but they never do stop being friends with him. Idk if it's outta fear and just because they've been friends for so long that they have a strange connection with him but yeah.

I just hope they have another episode that continues off of this one that ends up with Heidi realizing that Cartman's manipulating her and dumps his fucking ass.

I'm not looking for a debate or anything, I just had really no one to discuss the new episode about bc my sister fucking loves Cartman, which I kind of get. I understand his vitality to the show, and he can be hilarious at times, but that doesn't make up for the fact that he's an absolute piece of shit.

Also I'm not touching the Garrison parts of the episode bc I think they speak for themselves (extremely disturbing and fucked up).

#did not grammar check this at all im sorry #im just so done rn #i did like the episode tho #i just hope they have another that continues off of this one #im shook #south park #eric cartman #heidi turner #kyle broflovski #i wish there was more stan and kenny in this #south park analysis #rant

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