#not going to think too much about perspective orz

[curiosity-killed]

pain and hell and suffering

#hnnnnnnnn #we're just #not going to think too much about perspective orz #my wips

[aroacedindjarin]

I know so many people have said this already and in much more coherent ways than I can but the way luke was depicted in tbobf (and im not just talking about the uncanny valley cgi… why did they not just recast him orz) makes me so frustrated even now. Especially now. Maybe i’m just a delusional dinluker but i really really believe that luke skywalker needed to be in the mandalorian season3.

I cannot believe luke skywalker would make grogu choose between his dad and becoming a jedi. It is just so explicitly ooc for him. I’m reading the destiny path comic right now and there are so many pages that show luke struggling with the worry that he can’t be a Jedi because he can’t let go of his attachments to his friends. and i know this is a core theme of luke as a character, it’s not new, but the comic is just so explicit about it and goes into depth in a way that it doesn’t have time to explore on screen

It explores luke’s worry about disappointing yoda when he left dagobah to go help leia and han in cloud city, and how he feels about ben and yoda refusing to talk to him anymore or help him through the force because he didn’t make his jedi training a priority above everything and everyone else, like a Selfless Jedi should. and grogu goes through the literal exact same thing. and luke reacts in the exact same way yoda and ben did to him?

In the comic, the radio silence from his teachers eats at him so badly and adds to the struggle he’s going through after finding out Vader is his father and losing his hand. He feels abandoned and afraid and, even though these feelings lead him to realise he can make his own way as a jedi, I just don’t think he’d inflict the same thing on grogu. Even if i were to look at it from a perspective of luke being forced to make his own way without his teachers made him a stronger jedi - so maybe he’s doing the same for grogu?

After all, I know grogu is such a young child so I also understand the series tries to come at it from the angle of respecting a child’s wants and needs, not forcing him to commit to training if he doesn’t want to. But I just don’t understand why luke couldn’t join grogu every now and then. Teach him some jedi stuff on the weekends. They make it seem like luke has nothing better to do anyways, he’s got droids building his school for him and seems to spend his days entirely with grogu anyway. If he went back to tatooine with grogu at the end of tbobf, i just think there would have been so much to explore between luke and literally any of the characters. din and boba specifically of course but if that led to luke in mando s3 there could’ve been so much potential.

Perhaps they just needed a reason for a big emotional scene for grogu to choose his path and his destiny. Perhaps they couldn’t put luke skywalker in the show too much for fear of throwing off the sequels. There’s the argument that luke already had his screen time and, trust me, I also hate the re-usual of existing characters to the point where they’re wringed out of any substance and have been so fleshed-out and developed it’s almost grotesque to force them to stay in the show any longer. but star wars doesnt have a problem with that for so many other characters anyway.

I just wanted to see grogu growing up to be both a Mandalorian and a Jedi. It would’ve been so perfect with the Mand’alor Din storyline too. Grogu, the son of the Ruler of Mandalore and the student of the strongest Jedi in the galaxy, the start of a new generation and so much foundation to explore between Mandalorians and Jedi!!!!!!!

#i was literally just ranting about this to my beloved mutual but i need this on my blog too. #hinderr if ur reading this hi #luke skywalker #dinluke #the mandalorian #star wars #long post

[merakiui]

Mera! I'm losing track of the days lol, but so long as i send an ask a week, i think i should be okay 😂

Also feel free to post your hsr hair thoughts bc i love to read your rambles as much as your fics! I'm looking forward to the jade one and him imitating floyd is really amusing. I like to think jade has a sort of pride about him where he loathes being compared to floyd but also jokes it off when someone does or when someone mistakes them, so i can imagine his pride and ego taking a hit but he endures it for sake of reader. Almost like he gets addicted to acting like floyd bc everyone likes floyd better anyways, right? So why not give the people what they want! He receives such a positive response when he acts like floyd that it rewires the hurt in his brain and suddenly the thing he hates is now cathartic for him but theres still that underlying hurt underneath >.<

BUT thats not why im here hehehe, for this weeks questionnnnn......

Who do you think would be the 'final girl' in a slasher film from each dorm? And then if u can, who do you think would be the ultimate survivor? You can optionally bestow the other titles; the virgin who lives but is hurt, the killer in hiding and the idiots who are the first to go, etc :D i read a yandere slasher fic here on tumblr where reader goes into a cabin with her friends and they get killed off one by one until the yandere presumably fucks reader and it has me back in my horror phase 😅 just pretend its Halloween in june, like xmas in july hahaha

-🐔 anon!!!!

:D hi hi 🐔!!!! Thank you for enjoying my writings and ramblings and for your interest in the upcoming Jade fic!! He'd do anything for you, even if it means he has to endure bittersweet pain just to see you smile. >_< all he wants is a chance with you and he gets that when he acts as Floyd. It may be uncomfortable and it may chip away pieces of his pride as an individual, but you laugh at his jokes and look at him like he's the only one in your world. He'll do whatever he can just to receive a crumb of your affection, even if it's all meant to be reserved for Floyd. Aaaa I love writing this version of Jade!!!! He's just so interesting and obsessed!! orz

Ooooo final girls from each dorm!!! That's such a fun question. Here are my thoughts!!! ^w^

Heartslabyul's final girl would be Cater. He's so perfect for the final girl trope! You think he might die first because he's pretty and can't let go of his phone for the life of him, but when he gets serious he can be very cutthroat. <3 the idiotic duo would have to be Ace and Deuce. Deuce hears a strange noise and wants to check it out because he's definitely not scared of demons or killers and he'll beat up anything that tries to hurt him and his friends. Ace thinks he's trying to prank him, but he begrudgingly follows him, thinking it's either nothing and Deuce is trying to scare him or it'll just turn out to be something with a completely natural explanation. It's neither, and while they're both bickering the killer looms from behind. Riddle is the logical one who tries to put everything into perspective and figure out a logical reason behind everything. Trey is, unsurprisingly, the mom friend who just wants everyone to stay in one place because hopefully the authorities will show up soon (they never will).

Savanaclaw's final girl is Ruggie. He's resourceful and cunning; you think he may die first, but he's actually very good at survival. He'll live, but he comes out of the horrific night covered in blood after he's just fought the killer to the death. Jack is your typical jock, kind-hearted and caring, who doesn't believe in any of that ghost stuff or horror movie trope stuff, but when it becomes too real he gets even more serious than before, determined to survive and protect those close to him. Leona strikes me as the type who, upon the first sign of something suspicious or dangerous, promptly leaves. He will not be swept up in any murder plots, no thank you. <3 either that or he sleeps through it all and the killer thinks he's dead at first glance LOL.

Octavinelle's final girl would be Floyd. As goofy as he is, he's also another cutthroat guy who can and will survive. He may throw himself directly at danger, but somehow he always comes out of it alive. Jade is your typical killer-in-hiding. You won't suspect him until it's too late, and by then nearly half the cast is dead. Azul is the type who acts like an ally to everyone, but he's secretly either plotting with the killer or planning to sacrifice everyone in order to save himself.

Scarabia's final girl is Jamil. Most of his decisions are made solely to protect Kalim (who naturally is the comedic relief/carefree friend who is just too sweet for this world), but there's a build-up in this movie where the plot twist is that Jamil ultimately ends up tricking Kalim. Is it possible for both him and Jamil to survive? Perhaps, but this isn't that kind of movie. :) and from the bloodshed, Jamil emerges, alive, exhausted, and traumatized. (Or I could also see Jamil as a killer-in-hiding and Kalim as the final girl; it fits either way in my mind hehe!! :D)

Pomefiore's final girl is either Epel or Vil. It's hard to choose just one of them for the trope because I feel like it can fit them both in different ways. Rook is obviously the killer-in-hiding or he's just that really unnerving character who happens to know too much about how a killer thinks. >_< Vil as a final girl would be so cool because I think he can also be quite cutthroat. He's the character type who spends most of his focus on himself throughout the movie, yet he still manages to survive. How, you may ask? He weaponized various beauty products or, my most favorite idea, he fought the killer in heels and won, by which the heels absolutely became his weapon. >:) Epel as a final girl would be somewhat surprising because he's the character who no one really expects to live because he's "so petite and cute and omg how will he ever survive the big, scary killer!!!!" D: but then Epel shocks everyone when he ends up arming himself with brass knuckles or a baseball bat to go hunt down the killer himself.

Ignihyde's final girl is Idia, but then he also fits into the loser nerd category. Idia as a final girl is a little frustrating because he spends the entire movie being prideful and rude to the other characters, so everyone sort of wants him to be killed off first because he's so unlikable. But because Idia's seen all of these tropes before and knows his way around a horror movie, he ends up surviving. Ortho survives as well, but then I can also picture him being something of a sci-fi horror villain (i.e. technology becomes bad and targets humans). It's something like in book six where he was giving the students little tests in order to advance to the next level. Just a little villainous and devious!

Diasomnia's final girl is Silver. The stress of the situation manages to keep him awake, and so he's mainly in survival mode for the entirety of the film. Silver does his best to protect everyone, even putting himself at risk if it means he can save his friends. Sebek likely puts up a good fight, but he's far too stubborn and can't be quiet to save his life, so he ends up getting killed. I feel like Lilia could be a killer-in-hiding, or he's just the mischievous trickster type. Malleus could also be a killer-in-hiding, or he's the trope of "misunderstood character with a reputation that is solely rumors who turns out to be quite sweet and helpful to the main character."

#twisted chit chat #🐔 anon

[pompompurin1028]

now you have said it, i would love to see your opinions or a character study on sigma!! we haven’t seen much about his character fully yet, but about how he was created and how his existence takes place in the bsd universe in general. im sure you would put your philosophical perspective on it too. I have not seen enough stuff about it so im curious about your opinions too if you would like to share in the future. don’t feel pressured for it please, it was just me telling im curious if you would like to share in the future haha! hope you have a wonderful day ly 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Thank you for your interest dear anon <3 Honestly, I would love to do something like that for Sigma but we really don't have much to go off from at the moment, which is kinda upsetting because Sigma has so much potential in my opinion! (I'll share it down below since it's like I have enough for a bit but not too much and honestly most of it is more of what I feel Sigma could do for the narrative/theme rather than only on Sigma himself I apologize)

From a philosophical perspective, Sigma is very interesting from a perspective of studying being, or in other words what "to be" means, that sort of thing (though I will not dare say I am extremely knowledgeable on ontology orz). So he has a lot of potential :). This was something I wrote in Discord before but let me reiterate a bit. Sigma's whole character sort of makes us question how we come to be in the world. I mean, sure, we are not written into a book and born without memory, but we like Sigma cannot control the fact that we are born into the world, into circumstances we cannot determine

As @/daz4i out in this post, the whole DOA arc reveals the existential horror that is embedded within our daily lives! It would also be interesting for the characters in bsd to explore this idea through this angle, especially paired with the existential theme bsd has going on because it shows that like oh, we can't really just choose what we want to do, we're still bound by other things in the world, our society and we could just die with a flip of a button of One Order if Fukuchi chose to. This reveals the deep interdependence we have going on and shows that (in Judith Butler's words) the idea of the self is always situated in an “elaboration [...] of social bonds”. This would then reveal this tension between the fact that we are basically kind of in situations we cannot control but also the fact that in a sense we also determine how things turn out (or a better wording would be we are born and influenced by historical and social contexts that shape us as a person but at the same time we are also shaping these historical and social conditions) <- this is something I'm academically interested in rn so excuse me for just dumping my thoughts orz (it is also fascinating since this applies not only to a existential standpoint but also to theories in language, literary interpretation and on selfhood. Anyways....)

I just think Sigma's character has the potential to move the narrative and theme in this direction because he is literally a character born from a book, and it could lead the characters to enquire in a self-reflexive way about their own being as a character of a story. And it would be quite interesting since the act of thinking of oneself as a character which in a sense doesn't have control has some parallels to the existential horror thing I mentioned earlier...

Anyways I hope this makes sense and thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you <3

I know this is an ask about Sigma mainly but yeah... but of course, I cannot say I am certain bsd will move in this direction :( I really would like to do a character study on only Sigma but I think Sigma's potential works best with other people! Maybe someday I'll figure something out <3

Edit: (because I forgot to write some other thoughts😔)

I would love if bsd would pair Chuuya, Dazai and Sigma together and explore the idea of what humanity means. This was sort of raised in the sky casino arc with the idea of superhuman vs normal humans but I want more >:(. Sigma is a curious character since I don't even know if we would categorize him as human? I hadn't read stormbringer yet so I can't speak on Chuuya but it's interesting that Dazai being human feels inhuman yet Sigma who is and can be said to he inhuman is presented as a normal human.

#asks 💌 #Lovely Anon❤️

[tarosucheon]

Hi there! I've been reading your previous work and they are *chefs kiss* I understand you probably have a lot of orders coming in every day so feel free to not do or skip this one! I realize there isn't much villain headcanons, or more specifically Amyeong/Dark ones. I think his past relationship with Kayden is interesting, and I know this is a extremely vague topic to write about, but I am dying for some Amyeong/Dark works! Thank you so much for your time and effort! 💕

↳ Response: Fun fact, Dark is one of my favorite characters; ranking third behind Sucheon and Jisuk, so I'm very glad to finally write about him Also concerning the request itself, I was confused if you wanted a x reader request or just general headcanons so I just went with general headcanons. If this isn’t what you wanted, feel free to drop by my inbox again and request another one that's more shaped to your prefrence Final note, I am;;; so sorry this is so late. I'm too ashamed to even look at when this was sent to me orz

꒰Dark Headcanons ༉‧₊˚✧

꒰ ⌨ A new order has come in! ··· ꒱

↷ Base: Fruit Tea [General HC's about a character]

↷Flavor: Blackberry Sage [Dark]

↷ Boba: general headcanons about Dark

↷Allergies (Warnings): None

┊Dark · · · ♡

Thoughts/Personal theories about Dark

I feel like his character is the character who is the most closely tied to whatever lore is going on with the world of Eleceed. He seems to be right in the thick of whatever the hell is going on in the core of the awakener universe, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes a big part of the story as it starts progressing towards the even darker side of the awakened world. 

He’s an interesting character because he seems pretty far-gone, but he still does have some moral semblances. He’s capable of expressing remorse and gratitude (as seen in his interaction with Jiwoo’s mother) and understands when he’s in the wrong. He still holds attachments and doesn’t pull the ‘I am a villain and therefore all past relationships mean nothing to me because I am obsessed with my goal’ 

If nothing else, he���s a character that’s had his moral compass skewed over pretty early on and has a twisted view of how to go about things. 

He’s not even similar to Kayden in that sense, either. He’s nowhere near as egotistical or self-enamored as Kayden was/is. There’s really prominent moments of gentleness he displays at times that sets him apart from other villains Jiwoo encounters. 

I am improperly obsessed with his relationship with Kayden, especially because it’s one of the more mysterious and complex ones we’ve seen so far. It definitely has some semblance of a mentor like relationship, especially on Dark’s part, what with him being all broody (aka hunting down the person who was Kayden’s apprentice) that he didn’t accept him as his apprentice, but in Kayden’s perspective, he doesn’t seem to have as strong attachment to him in contrast to Dark. (He literally said “I taught him some stuff but he isn’t my apprentice) 

Considering Dark’s past with the ‘place’ that obviously fucked him over and possibly gave him trauma about his power, maybe Kayden was the first to make him feel like his power wasn’t a monstrous thing he possessed. Although considering Kayden’s personality at the time, it probably wasn’t the most positive change Dark could have gotten, but it probably influenced him enough to where he gained a new purpose in life-he wanted to become like Kayden-taking down all the world rankers and becoming stronger. 

Disregarding Dark, it’s not like there’s an complete absence of emotions on Kayden’s side. Hell-Kayden even let him off the hook after he had tortured Jiwoo. And this was, mind you, seconds after he had just obliterated the other guy Amyeong was with to absolute shreds. I’m wondering just what kind of relationship causes Kayden to let someone go after laying a finger on his son apprentice. 

And again, when Dark goes to “visit” Jiwoo with the intent of killing him, we see that Kayden was literally just standing outside the entire time. This tells us that Kayden knew where Dark was, and he knew he was planning on killing his apprentice yet again, despite the fact he literally told this boy “If you try this again I’m not letting you off the hook.” This is pretty significant considering Kayden’s personality. If it was true to his regular personality, he’d likely just track down Dark the moment he escaped and crushed him. But he didn’t. He let Dark meet his apprentice and injure him. And it seems like Kayden was fully expecting this outcome, which is the most interesting part for me. It’s like he almost wanted Dark to learn something from confronting Jiwoo, like he wanted Dark to change as well. This gives me hope that Kayden also perhaps still cares or holds out hope for Dark.  

In conclusion, I want Kayden to re-adopt Amyeong. Please. I am kindly demanding Kayden to do so. 

General headcanons about Dark

Probably likes cats or some oddly specific species of birds 

I feel like his only source of nutrients is pills or bars; something quick to eat when he’s constantly on the go. Or maybe he doesn’t eat at all, both options are entirely possible. 

Would probably be the type to style his outfits-if he were to have any fashion sense- matching his hair. Off-white would definitely be his go-to. 

Sleeps with his eyes open just because he used to do that after his right eye got all screwed up and now he just unconsciously keeps his eyes open

Being an assassin has made him hyper sensitive to everything. Although he won’t physically show it, his internal alarms will start going off when he hears even the slightest movement. 

His humor is completely dead. He just doesn’t get jokes. Practical pranks, knock knock jokes, riddles, stand-up comedy, all of it will be met by a blank and vaguely unimpressed stare. 

“I don’t care why the chicken would cross the road. Stop talking to me.”

Thank you for reading! Please come again

#eleceed #amyeong #dark #dark amyeong #eleceed x reader #it has literally been. #five years since i posted an headcanon post #hnngh;; im so sorry

[carcharsaur]

finally finished something else to put in my got damn tag, let’s go gamers

norn9: var commons an interesting game, charming and understandably a classic from the vita era, but over-ambitious and kind of unfocused and bloated, with a few rough spots

without spoilers, I legit think my perception of this game got really skewed at the beginning based on the play order I did... I would not recommend kakeru first HAHA

I think best off for overall plot elements would be something like: Senri -> Heishi -> Sakuya or Itsuki -> Masamune -> Kakeru -> Akito -> Ron -> Natsuhiko -> epilogue but the only one that is super super required is natsuhiko last, I think. I definitely think them putting kakeru on “recommended” was a MISTAKEEE it left me so dazed about stuff playing it first

part of the game’s problems is just that right there... too many damn routes! a lot of them had endings that felt really unfinished, and there’s a fandisc being localized later this year for the first time but! ideally a game should stand on it’s own merits rather than needing a sequel to feel properly resolved v_v that said, I am rather excited for the FD regardless because I’m invested now lol

on a positive note, I loved all 3 heroines! they’re all characterized distinctly and thoroughly, helped by them all being voiced which I love love love to see in this genre. it helps their characterization a ton, and makes me so much more attached to them. they interact frequently, and have each other’s backs in the stressful situations they find themselves in, rather than squabble over things which was really good. I struggle to pick a favorite from the 3, they all have different charms points and mild frustrations for me. mikoto got the most tears from me overall, I adored koharu and her well-executed (imo) neurodivergent vibes, and I could relate too well to nanami’s emotional wall she builds around herself and her, well, PTSD? T_T haah

my fav pairings for each were: Koharu and Senri, Nanami and Heishi, then Mikoto and Natsuhiko!

-getting into spoilers now-

I also really loved this game’s setting/world lore! it was really interesting, but at the same time it almost feels like the premise of all this would’ve been better served with something that’s not a romance game. it feels like the background and over-arching issues should have had more time and development rather than being brushed over in the course of 10mins in most routes... I know it’s heretical to say for otome games but that’s how it had me feeling. by the time you get to the epilogue it makes thematic sense that the love is an important part but it really, really, does not set that up and build on it well before then so I was left kind of wishy-washy on the game in the middle. I dislike comparing games like this; but the scenario director’s later work, Even If Tempest, handled the romance being integral to the overarching plot much better. though that also was a linear single-perspective story rather than 3 POVS with 3 routes each. orz

getting into more critical things now, the age stuff was a little weird and I just. ignored it most of the time but if that’s something that’s uncomfortable for you (16-17 yr old MCs getting with 20+ yr old guys =_=;) then yeah I strongly do not recommend. they don’t mention it too much but when they do it’s just. man was this necessary. man why did you make nanami 16 when she acts more maturely than the other 2 girls... though that might be the PTSD more than anything AGH. speaking of, I disliked that all of nanami’s routes either have the potential to, or just do straight-up mistreat her... not much to be said about it other than it sucks! it’s not unrealistic but well, forgive me for wanting my romance games to be a bit more idealistic unless they’re going for full tragedy/thriller/etc.

also I think 2 of the routes could’ve been straight-up dropped and had almost no impact on the overall game. ron’s just had... virtually no insight into him other than how awful he is which is like. a matter of taste I guess but god it was more boring than it was shocking or appalling. mundane in his slimy-ness? just magically fix your horrible mans by erasing all the memories that make him who he is. and when he wakes up, he’s somehow the same dude but without all the sadism? wateverrr -_-

and then masamune, I really really like him as a side/support character, and in a bubble I like his character too, and I LOOOOVE his voice actor but man. his dynamic with koharu was uncomfortable. not outright bad but just not a good vibe even if she was never uncomfortable with him it doesn’t sit right. and despite being one of the more ‘important’ characters to the overarching story his route had very little about that stuff in it.. ended up feeling pretty lacking. extremely ironic considering his whole power is being able to see the past of people (and objects?) he touches with his right hand (WHICH ONLY GETS USED ONCE?????). I ended up liking his bad end MORE than his normal end because it focused more on koharu’s relationship with mikoto in a way I liked, even though it was still a tragic circumstance.

they’re just good friends : )

my other least favorite route, which I admit at least has important plot and character and background information, is sakuya’s. I was enjoying it somewhat until he straight up ASSAULTS mikoto in a way that was too visceral and realistic for me, immediately made me want to dumpster him and the lack of real consequence or even anger from the MC in response made him irredeemable to me and I was sick of him by the end. even as a side character he chafed me rather than his overprotective comments being funny or... anything else. common yandere L

on the other hand, I think my fav character overall is heishi. his bad end is a little... huhhh... but I try not to judge too hard on those because most feel like insane non-sequitur anyway.. it felt ooc for him even with his emotional instability. I did enjoy that it was longer than basically every other bad end, though. most are throwaways but his felt like there was some real effort behind it, at least in regards to the decisions nanami brings herself to

but anyway, I could understand people not loving his route or being frustrated with the route it takes with his genki-seeming character. but I find his struggle to control and suppress his negative emotions out of legitimate concern for those around him relatable and compelling! regardless though, when he’s a supporting character he’s MVP for me, no doubt. I didn’t expect him to grow on me so much!

alright after all that I think I’ve run out of steam and thoughts for now...

other than, the epilogue being about robot love was cute! love giving even robots the power to make their way through life: really cute! but the shit about rebirth and exact dna.... man nah. good and bad I guess. I had a mostly good time though

masamune go bald in 5 years

#car's 2023 media #car talking #WARNING: LONG ASS POST I NEVER STFU #also small thing is that there was still some weirdness and errors in the translation here or there #that kiiinda took me out of it once or twice but. nothing nearly as bad as what I've seen of the vita release LOL

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

hii!!!

i just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your writing!!

the past month has been really really rough for me and the only thing thats gotten me through is reading your work.... i ummm might actually have read through every single work you have on ao3 😅 the way you write is just incredible, i love the personal touch added to everything you write.

its funny because i think you truly excel at writing novels with detailed lore and backstories but my favourites are the cute domestic ones where theyre just neighbours or roommates or whatever. the way you write apartment living is so obviously drawn for your own real perspective in the best way possible and feels so real that i couldnt help but constantly agree with everything you were saying.

your dialog is so natural and fluid i often forget im reading tbh and you never write perfect people, theyre always realistic and fucked up and flawed and amazing. i always believe the world you write around them, and i constantly found myself at the edge of my seat at 5am desperate to know how the fuck they would fix everything.

i appreciate that you take the time to add the trigger warnings in the notes of each chapter, i always felt like i was prepared for what was ahead, or if something was too heavy before going in so i could walk away or go to sleep until i was slightly more ready.

i have maybe accidentally left a few essays in the comments of some of your fics already but i just wanted to let you know at the end of my journey (for now until you write more because frankly im obsessed and will probs go reread something after this just to fill the void) how much your writing has meant to me <3 thank you so much i cant imagine the amount of time, effort and love goes into writing so many full-length novels for free in such a short time span <3

Hello Anon! 

I’m really sorry to hear you’ve been going through a hard time lately, I hope that things have improved since you sent in this message ❤ And if you were able to find an escape even for a few minutes in any of my fics, I’m really glad I was able to help you, even if just a little bit 💕💕

Thank you so much for your kind words ;~; I’m so glad that you enjoyed both the lore-based fics as well as the slice-of-life fics XD And that’s good that it’s realistic enough to obviously stem from real life haha. I’ll be honest some things are fading from memory though (I legit cannot remember how periods in school work, but like, I don’t feel like I should have forgotten that??? I think I just purged school from memory because it was awful HAHA) 

And thank youuuuuu!! I have so much fun with dialogue orz I try sometimes not to write too much of it because I know I write it a lot but it’s just really fun to me XD And everyone’s got flaws, no matter how perfect we all think we are pfft ;) 

I find sometimes something needs to be warned about without being a legit tag, so the end note warnings are the easiest way I found to do that, especially in situations where it’s a spoiler. That way people can read safely without worrying about being triggered because I’m defo not about that |D 

You are seriously so sweet, thank you so much ;~; I’m seriously so glad you enjoyed my stuff and I hope that you keep finding things to enjoy in the fandom as a whole because it’s a fun one :3 Thank you so much for the lovely message, and for any essays you left me on Ao3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

#Not TW #Blood's yakkity yaks #Anonymous

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

#bnha 299 #takami keigo #hawks (bnha) #best jeanist #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I found peace in your violence #can't tell me there's no point in trying #I'm at one #and I've been quiet for too long

[ibijau]

I saw a post about, not sure where god!lxc fic goes next? I assume nhs insists on going back to the cave to make a proper offering. Lxc accompanies b/c nhs is still a little sick and nmj is busy. Nhs continues panicking about this uber-powerful god. Lxc enjoys the offering, it's nice, but not the panicking, and hey he committed to being honest? so he tells nhs he's the god. This does not have the calming effect he was hoping for --the anon who got super excited about god!lxc can't read sideplot

ok so, didn’t quite use all of that, but big thanks anon for giving me a way to at least write a little more on that AU which is very dear to me

Price of Wishes on AO3 (can’t remember my tumblr tag for it... orz)

Lan Xichen stares at the altar.

It is a small one, hurriedly installed among others inside the Unclean Realm. Its only decoration is a bolt of pale embroidered fabric from which Nie Huaisang apparently once wanted to have a robe made, and a portrait of Lan Xichen that Nie Huaisang personally painted, as promised in the temple. It doesn’t look like Lan Xichen does in this mortal form, and it probably doesn’t look the way he once did as a god, but the main attributes of his last remaining statue are there.

How long has it been since he was granted a new altar? Not since before this Nie sect even came to be, he thinks.

And now not only was he given this altar, but there are offerings on it. Nie Huaisang put incense to burn and offered flowers and rice, yes, but surprisingly others did the same, and thanked Lan Xichen for keeping their young master safe when he ran away. Even the stern Nie Mingjue, who clearly didn’t share his brother’s certainty about a godly intervention, still lit up some incense and bowed before the altar, simply because he realised how much it mattered to Nie Huaisang.

It had been a flight of fancy to help that boy and get him into the temple, just a sudden impulse to feel like a real god again, but Lan Xichen finds himself more than rewarded for this kindness. If he can keep this up, if they continue honouring him, he might well survive a century more.

Lan Xichen had forgotten what hope feels like.

But hope or not, Lan Xichen knows to whom he owes this. As days pass, he sticks close to Nie Huaisang, who is currently his strongest believer. Even the old lady, dear to Lan Xichen as she is, never had such unwavering faith in his power. She prays to him mostly out of habit, while Nie Huaisang does so out of conviction. Being near him feels like stepping into the sun after an eternity in darkness, and Lan Xichen cannot get enough of the sensation.

Besides, if they are to be married, he needs to know more about the young man whose life he will share.

Nie Huaisang is an interesting person, Lan Xichen thinks. He acts a little spoiled, but of course he is young, and Lan Xichen vaguely understands that the Nie family has gone through rough times in the recent past, and Nie Huaisang’s childishness might be how he dealt with it. At his core, Nie Huaisang is more serious than he lets on. For example, he is determined to fully repay the debt he contracted toward Lan Xichen. The altar he set up is but a first step. In spite of his brother’s warnings, Nie Huaisang has inquired what it would cost to have a safe road to the mountain temple, just as he promised to do. In fact, he goes beyond his promise, determined to find every possible detail about Lan Xichen so that he may be worshipped properly. To that end, he spends day after day in Qinghe Nie’s immensely rich library, reading through books with a speed which astonishes Lan Xichen, writing letters to make inquiries as if it is the easiest thing in the world.

Lan Xichen thinks Nie Huaisang might just be the cleverest person he has ever met, and the most stubborn as well. Both are qualities he appreciates in a follower, and in a person.

It’s quite funny to Lan Xichen to realise that Nie Huaisang is considered lazy. Perhaps he only puts efforts into things that interest him. Lan Xichen, of course, is glad to be one of those things.

In general, he’s just glad to be around Nie Huaisang. The steady warmth of belief is quite nice, of course, but that’s not the only reason. Nie Huaisang, although he apparently realises to some degree that Lan Xichen shouldn’t exist as a mortal, still tries hard to be kind to him. He gives him delicious foods, and tries to find subtle ways to look for gaps in Lan Xichen’s knowledge of the mortal world so he can fill him in and help him fit in better. He is a pleasant person to talk to, a pleasant person to silently spend time with, a pleasant person to look at even, his youthful face showing every sign that he will develop into a handsome man someday.

In just this little time, Lan Xichen finds himself quite fond of this little mortal. It won’t be unpleasant to marry him as agreed.

First, though, Nie Huaisang must mature. And part of that means heading out toward the Cloud Recesses, where Lan Xichen himself is supposed to come from, according to the narrative Nie Huaisang demanded in his prayer. It is a stressful perspective, since Lan Xichen isn’t sure he is quite strong enough to shift reality around people who have much stronger reasons to refuse his intrusion into their life, but he will try his best. It is the deal he made with Nie Huaisang, and he will see it through.

To Lan Xichen’s relief, just before they are set to head south toward Gusu, Nie Huaisang begs his brother for a full ceremony at the mountain temple, with incense and prayers and everything that can be done to honour Lan Xichen. Nie Mingjue grumbles and complains and even gets angry, but he eventually gives in, as seems to be common for him when his brother makes a request. Nie Mingjue is a wise man, and he apparently understands that little can be done when Nie Huaisang is in a mood to be stubborn about something.

So the three of them head out into the mountain, followed by a few Nie disciples who carry food offerings and some tools to clean the temple.

The temple’s floors are swiped clean. Rubbles are removed. The nearly faceless statue has its layers of dust carefully cleaned away by Nie Huaisang who climbed on its pedestal so he can reach every part, revealing details that Lan Xichen himself had forgotten. There are even some traces of colour here and there.

“I’ll have to make another portrait,” Nie Huaisang notes. “Mine isn’t accurate at all after all.”

“I’m sure this god is already more than happy with what you have given him,” Lan Xichen says, lifting his gaze from the altar he’s wiping clean. It is a struggle to keep himself from crying from joy, and his voice comes out a little strangled, but Nie Huaisang doesn’t appear to notice.

“I need to do better,” Nie Huaisang says with a shiver. “I cannot risk offending him.”

He sounds almost afraid, and his hands tremble slightly as he carefully dusts the statue. Lan Xichen stares at him a moment more, and sighs.

However pleasant everything else has been, this is one thing that doesn’t sit right with him. For whatever reason, Nie Huaisang seems to be afraid of his god self, and it taints his every prayer. This doesn’t change the value of those prayers, it doesn’t make his belief any less strong and valuable, but Lan Xichen can feel that fear almost constantly and he doesn’t enjoy it. He is too used to the old lady’s belief, simple and companionable. She treats him like an old friend to whom she can make requests, and he wishes Nie Huaisang would do the same. They are set to be married, it is the deal, and Lan Xichen doesn’t like the idea of a union set in fear. 

“I am sure that god would not be offended,” Lan Xichen quietly insists. “You haven’t found anything about him in all your books and your letters, have you? So he must not be a very important god, and your efforts are sure to have been noticed and appreciated.”

“But it’s not enough,” Nie Huaisang retorts, gritting his teeth. “It can’t be enough. Nothing I do is ever enough, there’s got to be more I could do!”

Lan Xichen frowns, and looks around until his eyes land on Nie Mingjue. He heard this, and is staring at his brother with some concern.

From what Lan Xichen understands, the reason Nie Huaisang took refuge in his temple a few weeks ago was because of a great argument with Nie Mingjue regarding his capacity to do… nearly anything, really. Nie Mingjue, taking Lan Xichen as the confident Nie Huaisang asked that he be, admitted to him one day that he is terribly worried for his brother’s future. There might be a war, he said, and Nie Mingjue could die in it and leave Nie Huaisang alone to lead their sect before his time. Nie Mingjue confessed he is terrified that the elders of their clan won’t respect Nie Huaisang because his mother was of lesser birth, that some of their cousins will attempt to rob him of his birthright, that even if he becomes sect leader he will not be respected and some people will try to take advantage of his inexperience. So Nie Mingjue pushes his brother as hard as he can, demanding more efforts, more results, but it is all in vain because Nie Huaisang has stubbornly decided he isn’t good at anything that matters, and refuses to try anymore.

It was a terrible argument they had that day, Nie Mingjue said. And then, proving all his fears right, Nie Huaisang nearly died after running away and catching a fever, showing to all his future enemies how vulnerable a target he would be without Nie Mingjue to protect him. At the same time, that Nie Huaisang was ready to run away showed that he took it to heart every time he was scolded for not doing more, and now Nie Mingjue doesn’t know how to handle him anymore.

After Nie Mingjue confided in him this way, Lan Xichen promised he would look after Nie Huaisang, no matter what. It is part of the deal, as far as he’s concerned, because spouses must support one another, but also…

Lan Xichen is quickly becoming quite fond of this pair of brothers. Having been lonely for so long, he finds joy in the closeness they share, no matter how strained it might be at times. It is clear to him that Nie Mingjue loves his brother, though he struggles to show it when he has so much on his mind, and Nie Huaisang feels the same, to the point it was inconceivable for him to marry someone who wouldn’t be friendly with Nie Mingjue.

“Nie gongzi, you’ve done all you could for that statue,” Lan Xichen says, grabbing Nie Huaisang by the waist and pulling him down from the pedestal.

Nie Huaisang squeaks in surprise, fighting for a second before going rigid with fear as Lan Xichen puts him down. His face is a bright crimson when he looks up at Lan Xichen, who wonders whether that’s anger at being manhandled this way, but the other Nie just start laughing at his expression.

“Don’t seduce my brother like that, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue scolds, more of a joke than a real warning. “Look at him, he’s two heartbeat from asking for your hand now.”

Amazingly, Nie Huaisang manages to blush an even brighter colour, and leaps away from Lan Xichen. Nie Mingjue laughs again, apparently content with his brother’s perceived crush. Perceived, or real. Lan Xichen isn’t really sure what goes on in Nie Huaisang’s mind. He can feel is never ending flood of belief, the undercurrent of fear, but no particular affection so far. Then again, with fear that strong, it would be hard for any other emotion to flourish. Lan Xichen hasn’t wanted to talk directly about their situation yet, assuming that Nie Huaisang might want the illusion that this is all perfectly normal, but he’s rethinking that strategy. It is clear that Nie Huaisang, for whatever reason, is immune to the narrative that Lan Xichen created for his sake, so why not talk about it openly? If it can make Nie Huaisang any less afraid…

That is a problem for later. Right now, the temple is as clean as can be achieved with what little time they have available, so Nie Mingjue conducts the ceremonies necessary to consecrate the temple again, and invites Lan Xichen to inhabit again this place dedicated to him. Incense is put to burn for him, offerings are left on the altar, thanks and prayers are presented to him. Even Nie Mingjue, so openly reluctant to believe that there was any divine intervention to help his brother survive in the mountain, does provide a small stream of belief, hinting at a mind just as strong as his brother’s. Lan Xichen hopes that they can truly become friends over time, though he is unsure that’s possible with the lies he’s had to weave so he could fulfill Nie Huaisang’s request.

Still, there’s no harm in trying. If Lan Xichen is to spend one lifetime as a mortal, he wants to make the best of it, not only as a god in need of believers, but also as a person left alone far too long.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #that's not the tag I've used before but it'll do until I can find the right one again #Anonymous #xisang wishes au

[pekorosu]

just a lil “if ash lived” headcanon that i need to unload somewhere bc i've been holding it in for a long time

- set within the manga ‘verse

- takes place when ash and eiji are in their early 30s... so around the mid 1990s?

- i don’t get the weird animanga trope where older = longer hair, so they’re gonna look the same... maybe with slightly shorter hair bc they get regular haircuts now 

- (note: i've always interpreted long-haired eiji as symbolic of the fact that he couldn't move on from ash’s death)

- ash and eiji will continue living in the states, idk if still in NYC or somewhere else. they’ll move around a lot though.

- ash will mostly remain underground as he had to fake his death after lao’s stab, but he does it in a "hiding in plain sight" kind of way. only a handful of people know he’s still alive.  

- ash spends most of his time on the computer, mostly coding, hacking, being a nerd, among other fun stuff.

- he also takes on “jobs” anonymously, and occasionally from max (who’s still into investigative journalism) when he needs info that can only be obtained through Dubious Means.

- i also like to think that ash's a bit of a hacker robin hood lol. but he isn’t doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart, as part of it is a subconscious need to atone for his “sins” and cleanse the gnawing and persistent feeling of shame that gets amplified when he’s around eiji.

- also whatever he’s up to these days would ofc still be Highly Dangerous and Illegal, but it keeps him busy and would sate the part of him that’s still hungry for adrenaline without him having to engage in stuff like active bloodshed or substance abuse. basically that’s how i imagine he’d try to cope with life the only way he knows.

- eiji continues to do photography and other part time gigs bc he does not like the idea of mooching off ash forever, and he slowly makes a name for himself.

- ash and eiji live together but they are NOT together in a romantic sense... not yet >:)

- therefore eiji will probably date other people in the meantime, which gets a little troublesome bc it's not like he can bring them home to where his secret Very Important Friend is secretly hiding.

- ash will maybe have one-night stands every now and then. or not. idk. this isn’t a very important detail.

- anyway there will be lots of clueless but mutual pining :)

- ash especially, is of the opinion that they should start living separately bc someone will eventually track him down, maybe someone who has a past or present grudge on him. combined with his current activities, it’s only a matter of time before eiji would unwittingly get dragged into his problems again.

- eiji is v adamantly against that plan bc he's sorta developed a debilitating sense of paranoia that ash might just get killed somewhere while he’s not looking. not that ash isn’t paranoid either, but his insecurities often tip the scale over to “eiji is safer away from me” than “with me”.

- basically they’re doing their whole “stay. no, leave. no, stay” dance all over again, but like, dragged out over MANY YEARS.

- you thought eiji’s letter would’ve cleared up any crossed wires? 

- HELL NO

- like yea, there was probably a beautiful honeymoon period of about a year or two after they reunited, before their respective trauma and issues started creeping in and fucking things up again.

- esp on ash’s end, i think he’d engage in a lot of self-sabotage. and eiji is only human, he has his own limits and baggage too.

- there will be a government conspiracy plotline but on a smaller scale compared to canon that i am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to worldbuild on, but it will probably have something to do with cybercrime/cyberterrorism/stuff like that bc it needs to tie in with ash's hacking shenanigans.

- i've heard that sing ends up becoming some sorta political big shot in yasha? idk, i haven't read it myself, but since china’s rising status was mentioned in GoL i imagine the plot should relate to that somehow.

- therefore sing would also get to be in this story! 

- i guess this means yut-lung would come into the picture at some point as well, and it would be a good opportunity for a redemption arc but i haven’t given it much of a thought bc i’m indifferent to his character orz SORRY.

- look i can’t do plot, but i am basically envisioning a political thriller with a side of slow burn romance (wait, you mean like a rehash of canon?)

- i’m thinking max is the one who kicks off the story by bringing something fishy to ash, and they just end up uncovering more and more and MORE stuff as they keep going.

- so for like 80% of the story, ash and eiji will be separated bc ash will be busy spying or infiltrating something... and being at the center of Plot Things, while max and eiji will be more on the outside dealing with the journalist side of things. i’m fond of max-ash interactions but i’m also REALLY CURIOUS about max-eiji’s dynamic :D

- meanwhile sing will be like, half in and half out i imagine. he's versatile like that lol

- ...i did NOT mean that in a dirty way

- anyway, this will provide ash and eiji ample space to work out their issues separately, as i think living in close quarters for so many years has actually been aggravating them. ofc those issues don’t get 100% resolved by the end, but some time apart from each other to cool off and spend with other people should provide a bit of perspective.

- i want ash to make some NEW FRIENDS (!!!) that are on the same wavelength as him bc there’s only so much that he can tell eiji and i’m sure he gets rather lonely, so there will be OCs that he will meet in the middle of Plot Things.

- ash will get trapped at some point. preferably with sing so they can have a much needed heart-to-heart talk. they’ll have a lot to hash out, ranging from the events in BF, shorter’s and lao’s death, all the way to ash’s love life. 

- btw i like the idea of eiji and sing being close drinking buddies who confide in one another but ash is kinda, justalittle, not very happy about that LOL 

- i mean, it's not like eiji can confide in ash when ash is the topic at hand, ya get me? as for sing, he’s similar to ash in the sense that they live dangerous lives, so i imagine he just finds it nice to be able to hang out with someone mundane like eiji every now and then.

- not to say that ash and sing aren’t talking to each other at all, but i think they’d have a bit of a rift between them. sing probably does feel some resentment, both at ash for killing lao AND at himself bc he knows deep down that given a choice, he would’ve saved ash over his own brother. ash can sense that tortured vibe, so eiji’s like their middle man. AND THAT’S WHY THEY NEED A HEART-TO-HEART TALK

- (SIDE NOTE: i want akira to have a role in this too. i actually have a separate headcanon that happens prior to this story... kinda like an alternate GoL? 

akira goes to the states to visit eiji, but ash is also there, yeah? akira and ash start out sorta prickly with each other bc ash is all weird and standoffish and always cooped up in his room. she probably mistook him as a jobless model mooching off eiji at first since 1) eiji and ibe have never spoken about him back in japan (cuz he’s supposed to be dead), 2) why would eiji be living with some random hot guy? unless they met during one of his photography gigs? right??? 

and then she ends up witnessing them in the middle of a tiff, which makes her not like ash even more bc HOW DARE HE YELL AT POOR OKUMURA-SAN??? UNGRATEFUL JERK!!!

but over the course of her visit, she snoops around learns a bit about their history and gathers hints as to why their r’ship is kinda strained. also ash and akira somehow end up bonding (reluctantly) over their emotional insecurities and part on a friendly rivalry to win over eiji’s affections (which eiji is completely oblivious to. also akira may have been 100% serious but ash was just jokingly playing along with her (OR WAS HE???)). anyway long story short, ash teaches akira some cool tech/IT stuff along the way so that leads to her gaining an interest in the field. 

she won’t be able to do much in this story, but a minor role would be cool :)

 ^ a lighthearted gyoza-making scene amid all the angst)

- (SIDE NOTE #2: i ALSO want cain to feature in this, but bc canon provided very little bg info on him it’s hard for me to figure out where he’d fit. but i suppose that’s precisely why it would be great to include him, since i can just make up my own backstory! lol. for now, i think he should be connected to one of the new OCs to make him more central to the plot. or heck, he can be involved himself! ...yeah, i’m just salty about how cain was treated more like a convenient plot device compared to the other major side characters. we barely know anything about him even though he was one of ash’s most trusted allies. #caindeservedbetter2k20)

- anyway, back to the main story. ash (and his new "friends") barely escape where they’re held hostage. ash would be rusty with combat now as he’s spent the past few years doing only stealth work and being rather sedentary. 

- so there’ll be lotsa old man!ash jokes like them poking fun at him whenever he complains about his back hehe

- when they finally emerge outside they find themselves in the middle of nowhere! they then hijack a passing pickup truck and do a roadtrip back to civilisation. ROAD TRIP FTW

- at this point, quite some time has already passed and ash even has a fuzzy beard and mane and all. he’s standing at the back of the truck with a small smile on his face and the wind blowing in his hair, thinking GONNA GO BACK AND SEE EIJI, MISS HIM LOADS, HELL YEA 

- (bonus: this song and this scene is the catalyst for this entire headcanon btw)

(drew this about a year ago. i was trying to imitate the manga’s art style... and the ash i had in my mind was a little different. i’m too lazy to redraw, but he’s fuzzier now okay! MORE FUZZ! like an actual freakin LION!)

- meanwhile, eiji and max will get into some deep shit around this point? 

- eiji in the pic above was me imagining that the Bad Guys had tossed some damning evidence (eg. severed body part?) on the ground like “ash’s dead/ash’s in a lot of danger now so hand over all the info u have”

- and eiji and max are like. SHOOKETH

- this would be the 3rd time ash has “died” after all, and as they say... 3rd time's the charm...

- eiji almost gives in, but then max spits in their face like fuck no and then... yeah. they get beat up and taken away or something lol

- EDIT: hmm... what if the Bad Guy is someone IN the government, and he uses his power to get eiji and max arrested for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive (ash). and then ash has to rescue them... JAILBREAK STYLE

- also it might be cool to introduce ash's mom somewhere in this story... maybe SHE'S the villain! mwahaha *drama intensifies*

- anyways they will get saved by ash and gang bc that’s just the way things go, BUT! only on the condition they already made it out at least 80% of the way bc GODDAMN IT👏LET👏EIJI👏BE👏BADASS👏FOR👏ONCE👏 

- (that is, after he overcomes the initial shock of ash possibly being dead again... again...... again............)

- there will ofc be moments of “oh my god, you’re okay” "i thought i lost you...!"

- something like this, because one can never have enough cheesy reunion scenes

- this will eventually lead to REVELATIONS (of the romantic kind, yes) 

- buuuut they will never say "i love you" directly to each other bc ash is too emotionally constipated and eiji is too japanese. it's okay, they will communicate it through heated stares 👀

- i would love for there to be a scene where they have to be separated again for Plot Reasons and ash sorta hesitantly goes all "...will you wait for me?" as a direct parallel to canon!eiji's "i'll be waiting" and it’s like,

- FINALLY! 

- FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! ash has finally allowed himself to ask for this, to let himself want it! 

- and eiji would be like OF COURSE I WILL YOU BIG DUMMY, ALWAYS AND FOREVER

- but i think it'd be hilarious if eiji pops up while ash's in the middle of the final showdown and ash's like WTF I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME and eiji's like I WAS WORRIED OKAY YOU WERE TAKING SO LONG

- idk how this is supposed to end...

- oh wait! since the plot is government-related, maybe Someone will be able to pull strings to wipe out ash’s criminal record (past and present) and give him a brand new 100% legal identity, as thanks for his efforts? or maybe ash (or sing) just does it himself somewhere along the way LOL. anyway, he’ll be able to start over with a fresh clean slate and finally work on recovery FOR REAL NOW. yes this is a happy ending AND it didn’t require him to go to japan /flips off canon

- ...i realise it’s never going to be that simple but W H A T E V E R

- (also they probably will visit japan in the future with that shiny new passport... gotta meet the in-laws and all y’know)

- who do i gotta pay to write this cheesy self-indulgent fic for me

#since tumblr is for talking to myself that is exactly what im gonna do now #a very long self-indulgent post // #banana fish

[writingadvice365]

Hi I love your work and advice! You’re insanely talented and thoughtful for making this account. I hope you are well. I was wondering if you could possibly help me with a problem I have? If it’s okay.

Basically I’ve had this storyline in my head for a year now. And every time I try to put it on paper I end up thinking I could do better. Like it’s cringey and cheesy, typical, uninteresting.

Also the part where I’m struggling with the fact that I have no main character right? All four of them are main characters. No idea how I can start it without it focusing on just one.

Thank you so much for reaching. Hopefully this wasn’t too much lol. I love your work and thank you so much. If you have time after could u message me and walk me through if it’s not too much trouble if u are not too busy? Thank you.❤️

Thank you for the high praise! I will endeavor to help the best I can!  orz

First, be kind to yourself and your first draft! 

Second, be as cringey and cheesy and ridiculous as you want!  If you are having fun and find it interesting then that is all that matters! You can worry about the logic when you begin editing/rewriting after you are done.

Third, you can have four main characters if you want!  There are plenty of stories that have more than one main character.  Perhaps try writing each chapter from a different character’s perspective.  Or maybe try writing in third person omniscient so you have access to all the character’s thoughts.

And if you need any more help or would like me to go into more detail about anything, please let me know! =)

#ask & I shall reply #anon #writing help #writing advice #writing tip #March 2021

[hellfireinfrozenlands]

Hi!! I'm here for that NIF breakdown of why the massacre of the Chiyan army and Prince Qi's death was inevitable? I know i miss a lot of the subtext that doesn't explicitly happen on screen, so i'd love to hear your thoughts on the villains ^^

Hello! I didn't think you'd actually take up the offer :) Spoiler ahead!

Xia Jiang:

I'll start with Xia Jiang first because he is the easiest. As shown in ep38, Prince Qi suggested to get rip of the Xuan Jing Bureau. The Emperor dismissed that suggestion completely but Xia Jiang overheard that and felt threatened by Prince Qi. The thing is, even if he never overhear that conversation, he would still find a way to get rip of Prince Qi. If Prince Qi become Emperor, being the righteous and benevolent person that people said he was, Prince Qi would never approve of the way the bureau works, the torture, the killing, etc.. And since the bureau is working directly for the Emperor and the main reason why everyone is scared of them is because the bureau is trusted by the Emperor. So even if Prince Qi never suggest to get rip of Xuan Jing Bureau or if he still keep them around during his reign somehow, isn't disuse and mistrust amount to the same thing as disposal? Xia Jiang is a smart guy, he probably saw this coming. The conversation he overheard is only a reminder of his eventually demise.

Xie Yu:

By the time of the massacre, Xie Yu would have been the brother-in-law of the Emperor for about 11-12 years. He is an ambitious guy, always aiming for the highest power. He picked the current Crown Prince because it's easy for him to manipulate and control the court (funny enough, I think the Emperor pick him as Crown Prince for the same reason). Somehow, he was always losing to Lin Xie by a small margin. His wife is the Emperor's half-sister, whereas Jin Yang and the Emperor were full siblings. Xie Yu is a general (he was in the Chiyan army at one point too!) but comparing to Lin Xie, he was not as well-known and didn't achieve as much. It was probably frustrating for him seeing the other brother-in-law of the Emperor having all the influence and respect at the court. For him to gain more power, he would need to get rip of his competitors and become Da Liang's main defender. The Chiyan massacre killed two birds with one stone. Xie Yu is a simple guy; he just want power and honour for his family, both of which were very important back then.

It never stated explicitly how the alliance between Xie Yu and Xia Jiang came to be but I would bet it was Xia Jiang who approached Xie Yu first.

The Emperor:

Okay, to talk about the Emperor we need to talk about Prince Qi first. Here are what we know of Prince Qi:

- He was the Emperor's oldest son. Given that the Empress, the official wife, doesn't have any surviving son, the Crown Prince position would normally goes to the firstborn son, unless the mother of that prince's background is unsuitable. We don't know if Prince Qi ever become an official Crown Prince or not, but since it's inevitable, I would say the ministers and generals in the court would treat him like a Crown Prince regardless. That means if the Emperor is ill or absent, all the officials would turn to Prince Qi for leadership.

- Prince Qi's mother was the sister of the general who not only had the biggest and mightiest army in the country with long list of achievements to boost, he was also the Emperor's close friend and brother-in-law through his sister and wife (that's one messed up family O.o). I assume Lin Xie's words and actions would influence the court greatly. And Prince Qi no doubt had his uncle's support.

- Prince Qi himself was also a kind, smart and well-loved prince. In ep46, Prince Yu said that no one can become a second Prince Qi and no matter how hard Prince Jing try, he cannot compete with Prince Qi. Hell, even the Emperor himself said so (ep46). Prince Qi was the brightest, outshone all other princes and the Emperor too. Let's say if the Emperor and Prince Qi has different approach on an issue one day in court, whose idea do you think the ministers most likely lean towards to?

To sum, Prince Qi was this magnificent prince who is a better suited Emperor than the Emperor himself. Since so many people were willing to die to defend for Prince Qi's innocent, I would say he had the support of most ministers and generals in the court. He was loved by the people. He had the support, or at least approval, of the Emperor's own uncle and Li Chong, a scholar held in high esteem by many (this implied by Grand Princess Liyang in ep 51) (Li Chong is the person whose books Prince Yu want to gift to MCS in ep 2). His material uncle was this general who had held sway in the court. Etc etc... Not to mention he was good looking (said by Marquis Yan Que in ep34) and young. Prince Jing was 19 when the massacre happened so I'd say Prince Qi was in his mid 20s and the Emperor maybe in his mid 40s, perfect time to have a midlife crisis!

Putting aside the Emperor's suspicious nature, if you're in the Emperor's shoes, won't you feel inferior standing next to such prince? Many of your subjects rather listening to your son than you (ep 53), whether that son is the Crown Prince or not didn't matter. Your close friends (Yan Que and Lin Xie) sang praises of this son. It seemed as though everyone is just waiting for you to die and pass the throne to your son who will undoubtedly be a better Emperor than you will ever dream of. All of this insecurities of the Emperor you can see in the last conversation he had with MCS in ep 53. He said the perfect world that Lin Xie wish for no one can achieve that for him, not even Prince Qi. Lin Xie and Yan Que helped the Emperor with the rebellion against his father(?) and brothers to ascend the throne. They put all their hopes and dreams on the Emperor's shoulder but he couldn't give them that utopia (I disagree, but that should be for another time). They were disappointed, or so the Emperor assumed, but then they gained new hope in the form of Prince Qi. Once again, they put all their hopes and dreams on this young prince (Yan Que praised Prince Qi on several occasions and that's when he already dead, imagine what's it like when he was still alive) and unintentionally abandoned their friend, the Emperor. At that point, the Emperor was like a phone being pushed aside by a better model. He felt insecure but he couldn't show it because the Emperor isn't supposed to show weakness. Nonetheless, Xie Yu and Xia Jiang saw through him and they manipulated his insecurity and doubt to their advantage. The Emperor rebelled to get his throne, so he had no reason to assume Prince Qi wouldn't do the same. And the massacre happened.

The saddest part is that all of this could be prevented if only Prince Qi and the Emperor understand each other. If Prince Qi could understand his father, he could see the insecurity and how his presence affect his father's self-esteem. He could dial back a bit, maybe not challenging his father's decisions all the time and maybe not do it publicly. If the Emperor could understand his son, he would know that Prince Qi only did these things because he cared for the people and not because he didn't respect his father (or maybe he did, I don't know). Prince Qi had no reason to rebel with all the supports he had. There was no better candidate than him; all he needed to do is to be patience and prepare for his ascension. And to his father who had to fight tooth and nail to get to where he is now, Prince Qi's inevitable ascension is a something to be envy of. That's why to me, Prince Qi's last words, 'Father doesn't understand son, son doesn't understand father' is very poignant.

I need to shut up now, otherwise I will go on forever. I highly recommend you to watch the conversation between MCS and the Emperor in ep 53 again but try to look from the Emperor's perspective. It's an eye opener.

One of reasons Nirvana in Fire is great is its villains. They are very human and even though they are people living in a stringent and traditional period, I'm sure you know someone who have some of their traits. Eg. if you're a CEO and your company is about to be disbanded, wouldn't you try to save it no matter what? The reason why the consequences of their actions are so great is because of the power and position they hold which amplify the outcomes ten-fold.

P.S NIF is a show with a lot of subtleties. This is how I interpret the implications, feel free to drop your interpretation! And please correct me if I make any mistake. English is not my first language so I hope this makes sense!

P.P.S I want to add pictures to this post to make my point but I don't know how orz

#Nirvana in Fire

[pandirpus]

scorpio and aquarius!

scorpio: how much research did you have to do for your current wip?

You don't even know, it's ridiculous how much research went into Recuerdo that barely even makes it into the end product!

I have a whole google doc full of Salamanca facts, and tbh I spent more time than anything on the Salamanca family timeline...! It all started with being frustrated/amused about the canon flasbacks and other Salamanca facts being such a mess and me then getting way too invested in making it work somehow anyway orz

And then I have like five more pages on symptoms of antisocial personality disorder in children, plus some examples of manic behavior I thought could fit, just as an inspiration for fleshing out younger Lalo.

It’s wild! I know for other writers, that’s probably a pretty standard amount of research, but I’m really not used to this - I usually don't do any, or just quickly read up about one central thing to get some inspiration and that’s it. Fics are low planning, full indulgence for me! But once I started a Salamanca doc, things got out of hand and now I'm writing a multichapter fic about Lalo’s life ???

I guess it shows that I just really suffer from Lalo withdrawal </3

-

what was the weirdest thing you had to google?

The dumbest thing I googled was probably "are there crickets in Mexico"...

I honestly don’t know what qualifies as “weirdest” because that’s just what fic writing is: googling inappropriate things!

Some choice things I've googled for the next chapters are:

- 70s/80s cars and car paint colors

- how severe blood loss affects your thinking (and how likely you’d make dumb decisions then)

- multiple quora threads about whether and in how far the loss of a family member affects psychopaths (which are btw a great insightful read, lots of ppl sharing their experiences)

- gifts for prison inmates!

- how to destroy a bicycle (it’s hard and there’s a huge amount of trolling video on youtube for some reason, it’s bizarre)

- what it'd be like to stand behind someone who gets shot in the head (turns out: not fun)

- popular candy bars in the 80s in the US

Oh, the joys of writing about events set in the 80s and in two countries you are not first-hand familiar with... :,D

*

(oops you wrote aquarius!! it’s way too hot and my brain is barely functioning dfkdflk - the most unique thing about my current wip is definitely that it’s multichapter! i haven’t written a multichapter fic on my own for over ten years - it’s exciting and daunting!)

sagittarius: do you find your writing humorous? do you have any comic relief characters?

I love writing awkward, funny smut and humorous moments, especially funny dialogue - but I wouldn’t say my writing is humorous. Most of the time, the humor in my fics lies in the disconnect between a character's perspective and reality - for example, a character being obviously wrong or mistaken, but too full of themselves to see the irony of their thoughts / situation (like Ford Pines or Seto Kaiba).  I have a lot of fun writing characters being self-absorbed hilarious douchebags!

I don’t like comic relief characters all that much, but I like writing characters that are utterly ridiculous! <3

what do you do if a scene gets too serious?  

Idk I enjoy writing a lot of things that might be considered serious? There can be fun in a character’s suffering!

I guess my go-to method if I want to keep things from becoming too much of a drag and sort of lighten up dark fics is a pinch of sarcasm and irony.

Things being aesthetically pleasing is more important to me than humor though - I enjoy writing pretty words and describing messed up but gorgeous things more than anything. Basically, I rarely think about whether a scene needs more humor, but I sorta make sure every scene has something to offer in terms of aesthetic, be it haunting, weird, pretty and/or kinky! I get bored otherwise sdfkdlf

#ask meme #writing meme #ty beb!!

[flightofaqrow]

@@@@ + 4 for those four ppl uwu

For every @ I get, I have to tag someone I love/look up to! ** accepting

I’m gonna make this the OC special just for u Kay.

@banded-muses

Worldbuilding and backstory off the charts. 

Lovable, complex muses. Not afraid to make an older, female OC. 

Always full of ideas and scenes and chatting with you about them is so fun. You love your characters, you love other people’s characters, and it makes it so easy to just write thread after thread and develop things together across the whole spectrum of genres. 

The imagery you put into replies is astounding and beautiful. Never too little and never too much. Always appropriate to the situation and nearly makes some parts feel like poetry. It adds this extra layer of emotion I’m still trying to reach without having to go full metaphor.

@fumusdamnatorum

YOUR PROSE IS SO GOOD. Especially giving a body language and/or metaphorical feel for both your character, and his view of the OTHER character. I feel like we’re on similar levels with addressing both these things and it makes it very easy to play off of your narratives.

So many drabbles!!! and that’s a wonderful thing!! I love watching you dive into backstory, getting a better perspective of Silas for it. Seeing him develop even outside of threads. The imagery in them is always super good and clear, too.

Silas is a really rough and star-crossed character and you’re not afraid to play him that way. Your writing always has a jaded vibe to it, and I mean that in a good way. Like that part of his character comes across. I always just want to like, wrap him up in a warm blanket or a hug idk.

Your action scenes are always a treat!!

@thehopefulones / @lifahakondotter / @themagisterlegacies

Your brain works at a speed I could never reach. I don’t know how you churn out such quality writing so fast. or come up with so many ideas all the time. It’s incredible. 

Your muses are incredibly varied and yet each narrative has its own feel to it. I also don’t know how you jump between headspaces so very easily.

I know I always talk about metaphor, but let’s talk simile for a moment, Because yours are always incredible. They’re small but crystal clear details that add so much flow and aesthetic and emotion to what a character is doing. It’s such a simple touch sometimes, but you utilize it SO WELL. It’s like you just breathe this beautiful prose into existence so naturally and I can only hope I match at least a little bit.

Jackson is going to be the death of Qrow and Qrow is going to kill Lifa, probably. I think this is me saying I really enjoy our plots and dynamics. You’re not afraid to approach a n y t h i n g and it really challenges me to get out of my comfort zone with writing and pushes the limits for figuring out characterization. I’m sorry that makes me so anxious my replies get slow sometimes. I just want to give you the good Qrow content and equally quality writing. orz

@charmedglass

WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE SLEEPING ON WRITING WITH YOU??? YOUR CHRACTERS ARE AMAZING AND YOUR WRITING FLOORS ME!!!

I love plotting with you. It’s so much fun, you have so many good ideas. I love being part of helping your backstories weave together and come to life. 

Avros is a babe. This is pure self-indulgence instead of complimenting you, but it is also a nod to your design and story and concept, and bringing him to life. Sweetheart singer boy faunus, tragic backstory but grows up kind, he hits so many of my favorite things. He’s a total babe and our calamitous harmony ship makes my heart so happy.

Your metaphors and ways of describing environment just freaking end me. I always strive to be as good with imagery as you are in our threads.

#courtclover #* behind closed doors = ooc * #* hey i got a tip for ya = meme response *

[franeridart]

Anon said: Um so hello, I’m just here to say keep up the awesome work, I love your kiribaku art and it’s adorable and I go on binges through your blog (omg I sound so creepy I’m sorry I just love ur art so much) and it makes my day so yeah please keep drawing!

Ahhhhh you don’t sound creepy at all, don’t worry!!!!! Thank you so much for liking my stuff that much!!!!!!! <3<3

Anon said: May ask what kiri///mina would look like in your style? You don't have to draw it if you don't like the ship.

Gosh sorry but I really really don’t ship it!

Anon said: you know how I miss?? your OCs!!! they're the cutest!!

AWE thank you so much!!!!!!! I have a few comics planned for them, hope I’ll manage getting to them soon enough!!! (oT^T)9<3

Anon said: This is so sappy but some of your kiribaku posts really make me really appreciate long relationships! I’ve always found pining and crushes the cutest bc it’s full of intense feelings, but you portray being in love and accepting each other so well!! it’s amazing how you show characters interacting with each other and being so comfortable instead of worrying about hiding part of themselves and long story short I love your art and ideas so much

This ask!!!!!!!!! means the universe!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so glad I can manage portraying love in such a way, I’m so in love with the idea of open, accepting love, andI try seriously hard to make it look healthy in my comics so!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no clue how many times I’ve reread this ask I’m not even exaggerating TT^TT <3

Anon said: I just want to start off by saying you’re my favourite blog on tumblr, your art is incredibly adorable and always makes my day!! I was just wondering how you were able to create your own unique art style? It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately with my own art. Any advice is appreciated, thanks for everything you do!!

I think it’s about finding the right spot between what feels comfortable for you and the end you’re using your art for? In my case what’s comfortable is something fun and smooth, and the main end has always been to be able to draw comics - I’ve always liked comics because I like writing and I like drawing, but my attention span was too short to manage finishing them, and the way I had of drawing was too stiff to properly convey emotions the way I wanted to, which made drawing comics sound like an impossible dream haha I fixed it by simplifying my style, by taking away or reducing to the bare minimum everything that took me ages to work out/draw and pushing my expressions and body language to extremes to make up for the lack of details. 

That’s just my experience with it, though! The best advice I can give you is to sit back and look at your current way of drawing from an objective perspective - do you enjoy it? Is the process of drawing something you’re comfortable with? What’s uncomfortable in it for you, and in which ways could you change it to make it comfortable and fun? Does your current art style allow you to do what you want to do with your art? If you want to paint, does it allow you to paint in an easy and fun way? If you want to make comics, does it allow you the range to properly portray a character moving and living without making you wish you’d never started drawing halfway through it? 

Imho the first step to find a style that’s your own and feels right is to find a style that’s fun to use and doesn’t stress you to hell and back every time you pick up your pencil. This is easier to do the more things you attempt, so for a bit being inconsistent in style is a good and normal thing - try things out! The best one for you will definitely stick in the end. And if you already feel comfortable with the way you have of drawing, then hell! You already have a style that works for you! Just because to you it doesn’t look unique and special it doesn’t mean that it isn’t - if you asked me to point out what makes my style unique I wouldn’t be able to tell you either, the way I see it my style is the most uninteresting and common-looking style out there. To be honest with you that’s probably just how it is for every artist out there hahaha

Anon said: Hi!! I love your art and just want you to know I always get a big, stupid smile on my face whenever I see you cross my feed, whether it’s something new or a reblog of an old post. Everything you do is just amazing and I love it

AHHHHHHH Thank you so so much!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3

Anon said: Hey Fran! First off, thank you for the Fire Force art. I remembered to actually check it out, after seeing it lol. Second, I still can't find your Fatgum 😭😭 the link didn't give any, and searching on your page didn't help either. I WILL FIND IT ONE DAY

I think it’s a problem of the app orz I can see him just find from desktop but the app can’t find him either T-T stupid app!

Anon said: Do you have a mini Bakugou and Kirishima living in your head? Are they just living their lives up in your brain and that causes your hand to to write and draw the most perfect and accurate things? Of course mini Kaminari, Sero, Mina, Jirou, etc. also come to visit your head hole from time to time and just chill with mini Baku and Kiri. That’s the only logical explanation on how all your Bakushima content is so inconceivably spot on

That’s such a kind thing of you to say, anon!!!!!! I’m glad you find them that IC!!!!!! I try my best, but sometimes I admit I just have them do and say stuff I’ve done and said myself, the only difference is that I word things in a way that feels right for their usual way of talking hahaha

Anon said: I personally would love to read your essay on why bakugo is the best character ever because I really really really want to love him that much but i feel like there's something that I'm just not getting about him- there's something I'm missing about his personality (keeping in mind that i kinda left the manga after the whole mirio/8 precepts arc). I've always found bakugo compelling and would love love love to read your take on him! Hope you have a great day!

Bakugou has had some amazing character development scenes after the overhaul arc!!!!! He’s outright shown he understands where he was lacking and where he was wrong, that he’s perfectly capable of working in a team and letting people help him and helping them in return, that he cares about his class and how the rest of the world sees them! (and that he worries/cares about how the world sees him too, actually, that broke my heart a bit ;; ) We haven’t seen him in a hot minute by now, but most of anything before the current arc has had him improve and develop and become even better than he already was -  I’ve always thought him a good guy with just a lot of troubles relating to the world around him due the way he has been brought up as special and different (it creates a drift between yourself and the rest of the world when everyone around you keeps treating you as if you were other - when you tell a kid he’s different and better for his whole life he’s bound to grow up believing it, after all), but if the problem you have with him is that he isn’t showing the good in himself plainly and obviously enough, then the arcs after the overhaul one are gonna help you like him better, definitely

Well, the thing about Bakugou is that he’s not a plain/obvious character, so you need to think about his actions and his words a bit more, and can’t just take him at face value - it’s what I like about him, actually! How much you need to think about him to figure him out on a deeper level than just the surface one. Since I dunno why you like him and why you feel something’s missing, I can’t tell you specifically what it is in the way I see him that completes him for me, but as I said I try to keep him as IC as I can so probably reading my comics about him might help you understand the way I see him. To me Bakugou’s honest, and kind, and loving, but he’s also arrogant, and angry, and used to taking some things for granted, and I like how all those things work with and against each other in his character. He’s at the same time incredibly proud and absurdly insecure, and I like that about him too - where each comes from and where and how they clash, I like the complexity it gives him. I like that he’s a people person in the sense that he likes having people around himself, and I like that at the same time UA is the first time he’s had actual, honest to god best friends, and how that means that he’s gonna be awkward when usually he’s so sure and proud simply because he isn’t used to having people he actually specifically cares for, I very much like that about him. I like that he overthinks everything he doesn’t immediately gets, I like that he still acts on instincts more often than not, I like that somehow with him those two aren’t mutually exclusive. I like that he’s smart and still so damn dumb, I like that he’s just as simple-minded as he is an actually labyrinth in thought process, I like how one-track minded he is even on the most silly things - how once he sets his eyes on a goal he goes for it like his life depends on it. I like that he’s barsh and rude and impulsive in what he says and does, but when he fucks up he knows he fucked up, and he backstracks, and he does his best to make amends. I like that he sits in stupid ways and has the worst posture in the class and then he wears his hero costume and suddenly he’s a model on the catwalk, that’s so damn endearing to me. I like how ridiculously hyperbolic he is and how he just assumes people will get it, get what he actually means, like there’s a point between his brain and his mouth were things get blown out of proportion and he doesn’t even realize it. There’s just so many things to love about him, for me!! 

But most importantly I like that he started as low as he could get and that because of it his plot is a one way towards the summit. I like it. I like watching a character grow and every new chapter become a better version of themselves, I love it. Ultimately that’s probably why he’s my favorite, after all haha

Anon said: Hi, this isn’t a question but I just wanted to say how much I love your art and the way you clearly appreciate Bakugou as a character. So many of my friends hate him, but I think he has a lot of depth and so much potential. Your art always makes me smile! Thanks for doing what you do. :)

THANK YOU and thank you for liking the boy too!!!!!!! He deserves it, he absolutely does deserve it!!!!!!! <3<3<3

Anon said: I just went digging in the archives of my blog (which is.. a mess) and found some old art of yours (like... I'm talking bokuto and kuroo level old) and g o s h. I already loved your art so much then and I still do n hhhhhhhh u go. U great.

Gosh you’ve been around a long time then!!!!! Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time!!!! ✨o(TT0TT)o✨

#fran answers #long post #sorry for disappearing on all of you btw!! #some of you might know already but i've spent most of the last week consuming stuff more than producing it haha #sometimes i need that too

[gosatsuvns]

Weekly Update Compilation

Just realized that I kinda neglected the weekly updates here on Tumblr (sorry about that!), so I'll compile the last few right here:

Weekly Update #328: CG & BGM Progress

This past week, I've focused on drawing the "dead body" CG for GENBA no Kizuna, which is quite an undertaking to say the least. I've made a lot of progress on it, but there's still some work left to be done. It took me quite a while to figure out the exact perspective and angle. Thankfully, being married has its perks, so I got Kuna to take a bunch of reference pictures of me while I was lying on the floor, pretending to be dead, haha. That definitely helped tremendously.

Still, the details are going to give me another headache for sure. We're talking about a guy who got eaten by a T-Rex after all, so there's a lot going on in terms of, well... damage.

Anyway, every now and then, I've also continued working on the outline for Withering Without Hope. And speaking of which, I have just released a new Patreon post, delving into the topic of how Broken Beyond Despair sets up and dictates the direction for its sequel.

If you're curious about the changes I felt were necessary in our recent anniversary update, be sure to check it out!

Next week, I'm planning to make another post talking about the time in between BBD and WWH and what exactly happens there. There is quite a gap between October 30 and December 23 after all...

Now, in other news, I've been working with Solo, our composer, on a new BGM track for GENBA. I've already received a first preview of it and it sounds amazing! Can't wait to hear the full version and share it. This time, we're tackling another investigation theme, specifically for the segments you will play as Rei.

That kinda wraps up this week's progress report. I'll get back to working on that CG now, so please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

Weekly Update #327: BGs, CGs, Sprites & WWH

After a bit more BG work, I have finally finished a variation for the 1st Floor Main Hall and one for the 2nd Floor Main Hall. That now only leaves one more variation of the 1st floor and all the necessary BGs for the first three chapters of GENBA are done! Hopefully, I can get to that soon, but first of all, I've decided to tackle the "dead body" CG instead, as it is kinda tied to that BG.

Basically, after recovering the body from the Rex jaws, it will be spread out in the main hall and you will be able to catch a glimpse of it on the missing variation of the 1st floor background. At least that's the plan, but I think drawing the CG first will better help me understand what exactly and how much needs to be visible on said BG.

The CG is kind of intimidating to think about, as it is going to be the most difficult to draw by far. As a result, I've been pushing it off for a while now, but I figured, if I get it out of the way now, that'll be a big relief, haha. I've actually started working on it a while ago, doing some initial sketches. You will see almost the entire body lying on the floor. It's going to be an interactive CG too, meaning that players will be able to click all over the body in order to examine it. As you can imagine, it's going to be a very crucial asset towards solving the mystery death at the Kaseki residence, so it will require a lot of attention to detail.

My goal is to finish it by the end of the month, so I have just about a week left, which will hopefully be enough!

Outside of finishing those BG variations and getting back into the body CG, I've been working on some more sprite variations for Keiichi and Amber. Unfortunately, I kinda suffered a setback of sorts by accidentally deleting one of Amber's new sprites "orz Thankfully, I still had the low quality preview I posted on Patreon, so I was able to restore it, even if that was kind of an annoying and rather frustrating occurrence...

I have to doublecheck with the script, but this might be it in terms of sprites for the first chapter, too. In the end, Keiichi only got one new one, depicting him with a somewhat worried expression:

Now, one other thing I've been working on is Withering Without Hope. With the Christmas season drawing near, I'm really getting into the mood for it, so I've been working on the outline for the first chapter. I'd like to continue working on this on the side and hopefully finish at least the entire first chapter outline before the end of the year. The goal here is to have the full script for the game done by the time GENBA will be released.

If you're a patron, you should keep your eyes open, as I'm also going to share some behind-the-scenes info for WWH soon! Been wanting to do that for a while now and just haven't gotten around to it...

Anyway, guess that about wraps it up for today so, please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

Weekly Update #326: GENBA Background Progress

Alright, after a bit more work, I have finally finished the background for the second floor of the main hall and, along with it, adjusted the other two main hall BGs. If you want to learn more about my struggles with these, be sure to check out last week's blog post where I talk a little about visual consistency. I've also made a post on my private Twitter, showcasing the differences between the old and the new version of the first floor main hall. As for the second floor, here's another preview for that one as well:

Now, what's left are the variations of these two BGs, which I've also worked on. One variation for each of them is almost done as well, just missing one last detail which I'll take care of tomorrow. That will leave only one more variation for the first floor background, which will display a couple more pieces of evidence. As mentioned last week, once these are done, we're gonna be good on backgrounds for a while. That's because the second chapter will not need any new BGs, as no new locations inside the residence will be visited. As for chapter 3, the mid-point case discussion... that one will take place entirely in the exhibition room featured at the end of our demo. So no new BGs for that one either!

Well, I did mention before that I'm playing with the idea of making one more simple BG for said exhibition room. Since the cast will spent quite a while there, discussing the mysteries (think of the dining hall in SHINRAI), it would probably be nice to get some visual variety. However, as I don't deem this to be an "essential background", it's a bit lower on my priority list. For now, I just want to focus on the assets that are absolutely necessary to tell the story. And when we talk about "essential" backgrounds, there are actually only four left now: the wash room, the back corridor, the backyard and one of the suspect rooms.

Before I get to any of those, I'm still aiming to finish all the assets for the first chapter, though. Which (BG variations aside) now only leaves a couple of sprite variations and two CGs. One of those is going to be very elaborate, though, so it will probably take me a while to get it done. I'll most likely work on it next month and, for the rest of November, take care of the sprites and script revisions.

Anyway, that about sums up the current progress. Time to get back to work, so please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

#shinrai #genba #visual novel #visualnovel #visual novel development #vn #evn #vndev #game development #gamedev #indie game #indiedev #indie #Ren'Py #renpy #interactive fiction #murder mystery #detective game