#no one hates my writing more than me

[front-facing-pokemon]

#rowlet #welcome to the seventh generation. the things i do for you all. i just had to learn the structure of the code of collada files #so that i could stop making these bitches too shiny to see their eyes so that i could continue doing this #because i am a developer and not a 3d modeler #so it's easier for me to edit the code than it is for me to learn how to use fuckin blender #so i'm probably gonna write up a little script in python to Un-Shinify any models that i get to make it easier for me #but anyway! now that that's out of the way. this is probably one of my least favorite starters #just being honest. i like popplio a LOT and litten more than this at least #it's not that i dislike it‚ i just find that it's a little……… less. than the other two starters of this region #it's still cute and i like the sounds it makes. it is definitely a circle #and like that's awesome. but i like litten and popplio more :/ sorry to that one anon who hated all the water starters but also not sorry #they killed me like twenty billion times so i'm gonna like whatever water starters i want

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: you two have a son together, mention of being married, old man Bakugou

older retired pro hero Bakugou, who you find hunched over his desk one night. it’s late and the day was long and your son was whinier than he usually is. you’d think the old man would be in bed right now, but alas—he’s not beside you.

instead, as you round the corner to get a full look at him, he’s wearing his reading glasses, adorning an old ratty tank, his arms still big but softer than the years from before. he has a book open in front of him, desk scattered with pictures you can’t see from your angle, scissors, stickers, glue sticks.

“What are you getting up to at this hour, old man?” You ask softly, smiling when Bakugou doesn’t even look up from what he’s doing. his tongue is sticking out in the corner as he cuts a squiggly line on a picture, posing it beside another on a blank piece of paper.

“Therapist said I should get into crafting,” he grunts, finally looking over at you from over his glasses. “Do things with my hands, feel busy, get my mind off’a shit.”

you pad over to where he sits, the overhead lamp on his desk focused on the big baby blue book with white pages. peeking over his shoulder, you rest your head on top of his, chin nestled in the still unruly blond and silver locks, overseeing his work.

and honestly? it almost makes you wanna cry. it’s a scrapbook, the page open to pictures of your wedding day, how pretty you looked, how big he smiled at you. you can see other scattered pictures on his desk—when you got a promotion at work, when he was number one for seven months in a row, a positive pregnancy test, the cutest baby you’ve ever seen, two little teeth coming in, baby being held in dads big ole arms that will always protect him.

“After this page, I gotta do the honeymoon.” Bakugou speaks gruffly, setting down a picture to wipe a hand down his face. “And then life accomplishment shit, the baby, his first steps.” He sounds so tired, and you can’t help but wrap your arms around his shoulders, sliding down to smush your face against his own.

“You always have tomorrow. Come to bed.” You say against his cheek, squeezing him when you feel the rejection start up in his belly. But he deflates, pulling his glasses off, reaching around to pull you in his lap. He looks so grumpy, with his frown lines and crows feet, and yet so handsome with his small smile and soft eyes.

“I’ll print more pictures tomorrow. And maybe go by the store to get some more stickers, too.” He tells you in between kisses, his words soft, his hands rough through your pajamas. You hum against his mouth, holding his nape, afraid to ever let him go.

“You do that. Now let’s go to bed.” You whisper, standing up and pulling him with you. He closes the scrapbook for now, and you glimpse at the cover, heart melting at the picture of you two holding up your son, both kissing his cheeks. The picture is captioned with “Our Life” and you don’t think you’ve ever been more grateful to have met him.

#I feel like you can always tell what I’m doing bc I end up writing about bkg doing it ajsjdkd #I AM SCRAPBOOKING!!!! and it’s more stressful for me than it should be 😔 #it’s fun tho!!! and nice to see it come together!!!! #but I think he’d hate it and be all grumbly about it #until it starts coming together and he’s like ‘🙂 I made this and it’s fuckin awesome’ #loves putting in every single memory and every single picture of you #bc he can’t decide which one looks better bc they all look good to him wksjdk #ends up having to get more pages or a whole other book entirely bc he runs out of pages #all dedicated to you and baby #why am I crying #okay bye I sleeby #also should I write tomorrow or do my makeup 🤔🤔🤔 cause I won’t be able to do either until Monday 🤔🤔 #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dad bkg

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[shorthaltsjester]

free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.

#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character #as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like #i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable #the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters #i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one #similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary #but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character #that is imperfect in the human sense #because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is. #the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible #it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design #like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake #that’s it #that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling #but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good #and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her #and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of #the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication #imogen temult #critical role #inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work #the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion #of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes #like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it #not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky. #anyway

[bowserssupermariopartylaugh]

no but in regards to that other post, i really am in love with the hc of the two ways bowser and mario express their attachment to luigi, regarding his safety

Where while mario is overprotective, something born of like a lifelong anxiety over his little brother—

Bowser goes through a couple stages. Where at first he believes luigi is weak and defenseless, a belief born from always seeing mario on the frontlines.

But ofc as he gets to know luigi, he eventually sees that luigi is the opposite. That he isn't inherently weak for allowing himself to be vulnerable. That he is fiercest when it comes to standing up for the things and people he believes in (a ferocity he's exhibited on bowser's behalf, most notably)

And so bowser eventually becomes self assured when it comes to luigi, and luigi's ability to handle himself. (One of his few (but major) motivations for keeping an eye out for luigi is his own desire to not make luigi constantly fend for himself, even if bowser knows he can.)

But another reason bowser's so self assured, is because he has /unwavering/ faith in the /fact/—the FACT—that /no one/ will mess with what's his. And bowser ensures this by making it /very known/ that luigi is, /unsparingly/, his.

And i just think thats hot 💀😭😭😭😭

#my brainrot #bowuigi #hcs #hc #ship dynamics #fic ideas #for me at least #if only i could bring myself to write more than a few hundred words at a time #but man any variation of that last hc gets me 💀 #that he KNOWS fucking NOBODY would daaare touch luigi #one of my fav tropes #has me stomping my foot lmao #like YES #THIS #at myself lmao #excuse my cringe #oh an this isnt some kind of mario hate lmao #im not saying either of these dynamics are inherently better or worse than the other

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.

[aq2003]

i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it

#in a show with a title character that could be Literally Anyone and a companion sharing the lead that could be Literally Anyone #i value the little moments that set this duo apart from the rest. ESPECIALLY when it comes to returning writers like rtd/moff #fifteen and ruby felt a little too eleven/twelve and clara adjacent in boom. in both their dialogue and characterization #space babies also landed a little weird at first bc it lifted a bit from end of the world BUT the scenes that fifteen and ruby #had to themselves. like ruby getting covered in snot and fifteen laughing. or fifteen and ruby looking after the Space Babies #or fifteen going out of his way to save the monster bc that monster is the only one of its kind Just Like Him Fr #that stuff is so good and its also something we haven't seen from another nuwho doctor. the vulnerable bleeding-heart empathy #and a dynamic w a companion that is basically 'two troublemakers that just deeply love fun and adventure and getting into trouble together' #oh yeah and also the devil's chord was peak fiction because it touches on fifteen's renewed connection and love for humanity #and marries it to ruby being a musician and how music like any art is the expression of the human soul etc etc #WHAT MAKES A DOCTOR WHO STORY GOOD TO ME IS PARTLY HOW THE PREMISE TIES INTO THE DOCTOR AND COMPANION'S CHARACTERS #IT HAS TO FEEL LIKE IT WAS TAILOR MADE TO THEM. ELSE IT WONT LAND RIGHT TO ME #i hate the take that they should've saved wild blue yonder for a fifteen episode bc #the tension is hinged on how well the doctor/companion know each other. u have a level of it that u can ONLY get #with fourteen and donna who are two halves of a whole soul but have also spent much more time missing the other than knowing them #im not rewatching fifteen's eps rn until a week later when i can watch it w my qpp but #rn i still feel a stronger sense of fifteen and ruby's characters from all the rtd-written eps rather moffat #which like. i get that a lot of that is my personal dislike of moffat's writing style but still #dr who #15 era #dw spoilers

[aroanthy]

trying to write something about how much i hate the ‘misandry in utena/the utena fandom’ crowd but it feels kind of redundant to me. i think i just don’t consider people who use the word ‘misandry’ serious people. i do however feel an obligation to occasionally make my position clear on that front, because im aware i tougapost and some people love to bring that guy up as the misandry in the utena fandom poster boy. which is so fucking stupid because touga is not victimised by ‘misandry’, touga is victimised by homophobic violence which is wrapped up in misogynistic violence, both of which are the cogs in the machine we call patriarchy. touga is not affected by misogyny in the same way that anthy is, that’s one of the key takeaways you can get from their being foils, and i don’t really like the whole ‘oh patriarchy hurts men too’ stuff because it neglects the fact that men reap so many material benefits from what some people deem ‘harm’ to them (emotional repression being the big one. it’s not great but when you’re the privileged party and gain power from it, who cares? it’s like the inverse of kozue trying to use sexuality to gain power: she can’t do that). but touga is a shitty dysfunctional person who has been shaped by violence and in turn perpetuated violence, and his character excels, imho, at examining how patriarchy functions and attempts to homogenise life’s many complexities. same deal as nanami really. they just play different roles in this gender essentialist nightmare that crunches out any grit. and you can extend that idea to all rgu characters but i am who i am and that is a kiryuu siblings enjoyer

#i always say that tougaheads are either the stupidest or wisest utena fans #you know are you blorbo-ifiying him in a way that would stab anthy to death with a million swords imbued with human hatred #or are you considering his character in all his awfulness and complexity and attempting to internalise the things you can learn from him?? #don’t have the energy for complex thoughts tonight and yet ive written all this out #sorry for the brain fart #one day ill write this shit out properly with all my transfeminist theory properly cited #but for now i will half remember passages from whipping girl and gesture hysterically at himemiya anthy my best friend himemiya anthy #and also occasionally try to convince people that touga’s perspective is interesting to consider #i mean it’s horrific and maddening and frequently deeply uncomfortable and to be clear as a person?? hate that guy #but. oh i don’t know. oh i don’t know. extending compassion towards him helped me a lot personally #he anthy and nanami all mean more to me than i can really express #and i think none of them should ever speak to each other ever again #maybe anthy is allowed one run in with both of them separately. and she gets to dunk on them. but maybe not #ANYWAY! #dais.txt

[being-of-rain]

Listening to a Dr Who podcast (not one anyone here has recommended to me, in fact I think I heard about it through a tumblr post,) and it's reminding me why I almost never listen to Dr Who podcasts or watch Dr Who youtube videos. It's because I just can't stand hearing so much objectively wrong information. Maybe it's due to Doctor Who being such a large and long-lived franchise, I know that I can misremember and get things muddled. But surely if you're publishing something you'd want to double check that you're not confidently emphasising incorrect facts about even basic things... and yet I feel like I see it with surprising frequency. It drives me crazy, please get a fact checker.

#that's said it's also the bad takes and bad attitudes #hearing dr who fans so eager to hate on writers and stories and act like their opinion is gospel always annoys me #I'll hate on dr who but I never want people to think my opinions are the only option or something they must agree with #my posts #talking of bad attitudes one of the hosts in this podcast is both acting like writing fanfic is an inherently inferior way to be a fan #and acting like Big Finish is inherently better and more canon than other parts of the Who EU #they don't mean any harm but they're finding so many ways to grind my gears #Im not going to list anymore examples because this petty vent post is probably already too long jsdklfj

[chrollohearttags]

I have not felt an ounce of inspiration to write on this app for a while if I’m being honest. I don’t think I’m leaving but a LONG sabbatical is looking real nice.

#I’m just exhausted tbh #I really keep struggling with my mental health more than I thought and this hellsite hasn’t helped one bit #I know nobody gaf and it’s not their responsibility to but I’m not a machine and #let’s be real y’all only deem writers on here useful if they’re churning out fics or listening to you rant #not to mention the rampant anti blackness and hateful anons..it’s getting old man #begging for fics with no reblogs or commentary #idk I just want my spark back bc writing makes me happy but I don’t feel anything #maybe I just need a nice day out to get rid of this feeling #cherry chats 🍒

[northern-passage]

i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)

i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)

faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.

anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!

#if u read one day hike it's in the similar vein i guess. sad lesbians...lol #this is VERY embarrassing for me i do not write or share poetry very often so. HRNG #i tried to do more of a narrative style first with choices & an abrupt short voice #but i really didnt like it. felt even more embarrassing than this... #i dont think the way i write lends itself to that style & it felt very amateurish/childish #so i set it aside for a while and kept working on my other project in the meantime #so i think when i came back to it i was feeling partially inspired by what i had written for that which made me rewrite it again #sex and food and desire and hunger... you know how it is #not 100% about it all together but i like it more than the first 4 versions lmfao #i did try to do timed lines as well and it just.. didnt hit for me. i love/hate timed lines you have to really get them just right #or else they're just annoying iykwim #also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to #also also this is a poem in that. i wrote it and am calling it a poem...mnfkjdg #anyways. ough #faith #other writing

[mamawasatesttube]

just remembered how megfitz made tim think about how bernard is so much better than all the other relationships he'd "settled for" and was once again briefly consumed by rage. meghan you apologize to zoanne wilkins right the fuck now

#rimi talks #like also apologize to ari and steph and all but. i specifically am a zoanne wilkins stan blog until i die. so #i can't lie. this line alone made me dislike tim/ber significantly more than i did before reading it #and the rest of tdr did Not help with that. #protip: if you have to put down women in order to prop up your m/m ship i WILL hate that m/m ship out of spite immediately #especially when you do nothing to sell me on the ship other than going HEY THEYRE PERFECT BTW. THEYRE SO PERFECT TOGETHER. like... ok #can you tell me why they even like each other tho. (she cannot bc she doesnt know how to write a mediocre romance forget a compelling one) #god i really just. that comic was a trash fire. lord. the mentions of kon in it made the kill bill sirens go off in my head #anyways. its fine tdr isnt real it cant hurt me. but meghan does still owe my girls an apology lmao

[herebecritters]

Please understand that, more often than not, works of fiction are a fictional exploration of concepts and ideas rather than a declaration of morality

#there’s a difference between fiction that condones disgusting things and one that’s breaking them apart and analyzing them through fiction #reading comprehension and understanding context is important YALL #please I beg learn how to separate fiction from reality folks #every so often I’ll see people making WILD claims about a person because they wrote a complex and flawed character #most of the people I know who enjoy exploring dark and questionable themes in their work are the kindest and most selfless people I know #while the people who sit atop a pedestal and judge every aspect of a stranger that they don’t know turn out to be the most selfish and vile #i should not be scared to write a story about morally questionable characters finding humanity #but yet here we are #Ive seen this kinda stuff do more harm than good too many times #sorry to post a hot take #just good lord I’m old I’ve seen this shit too many times #stop eating each other #you will see conflict and dark themes in my stories #if you cant handle messy themes in fiction please feel free to unfollow or block me for your own mental well-being #I’m sure I’ll regret posting this later but just putting it out there #hate being reminded that as a creator strangers are staring at you and making horrifying assumptions about who you are as a person

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

#this post is all over the place but i want u all to experience this with me. baby's first convention #i didn't hate it like i thought i might but i am absolutely WIPED and will b perfectly content to not go to another con for several years #lacc #los angeles comic con #it's so funny walking around and just hearing someone go VASH and literally being like. who said that. #like there are 5 million people in this corridor. where are u so i can acknowledge you #my immediate defense mechanism is to toss up a peace sign so it's very convenient that it is something in character for vash #my favorite compliment was this one guy who was just like 'THAT'S FUCKIN SICK' from across the aisle and i was like 'YEAH!!!!' #long post #ackchewally the more i think about it. i do think sometimes people mischaracterize stampede as lighter than the other triguns #simply because the characters look more baby than their other counterparts #even though many elements of stampede are. truly so dark. #like we are not at manga-level-dark yet but HOO BOY i have no doubt we will get there #i'm dying to see what other horrors orange is cooking bc i KNOW they're cooking awful manga things (laudatory) #hot single dads in your area #my cosplay #this post has taken me hours to write. im so sick of it at this point begone from my sight i hate u

[a-shadowedvales]

when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.

when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal. #IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY. no u didn't. #i wanted to change things again (who is surprised!!) and decided to just rewrite it all rip. #me taking a few weeks off from this blog and then coming back with a brand new terry / jane hc? more likely than u think. #purely self indulgent too i might add! #every day i battle with making my terry portrayal canon to jane's timeline so jane can have her mother in every verse not just #selected ones. #but. her not having her mother is ultimately important to my writing of her and sfjasfjas >:( hate myself for it. #so here be a brand new addition to my timeline that gives jane SOME time with her mother!!! bc i need it for my mental health. #i imagine when terry dies her body turns to smoke in the void. almost like what happened to billy when jane was spying on him. #and he stopped her connection and faded in front of her. #and jane also visited terry a lot in the void because it allowed her to see more memories of her mother. #i hc that she had a real grasp on that before s3 when she looks into billy's memories. #terry (even in her catatonic state) WANTED jane to see what happened to her in hawkins lab. #so she'd want her to see the good stuff too. her childhood. andrew. her grandmother that raised her and becky. #all the good memories! #so when terry dies jane loses all that completely. #which leads to jane grappling with the conflict of whether or not she should have kept visiting terry in the void which eventually led to #her death. #because if she hadn't connected to her. she'd at least be able to look back on all those memories. #jane becomes obsessed within those months and barely speaks to anyone else. #in any free time she has. she's in the void with terry. #her own physical body grows very weak after a little while but she pays no attention to it and even gets into heated arguments with becky. #because becky is jane's carer and needs her safe and healthy. needs to look after her. #but jane is so adamant about the fact that this is her MOTHER and she's finally able to speak to her. #UGH i have so much to say abt this actually i sense a brand new addition to my timeline coming on. #ANYWAY. i'm emotional about them that is all.

[dizzybizz]

some magma pages from the past few days <333

@polyphonial, @2sc4rghost, @seasonalberries and @eternal-moss (oh yeah my brother also contributed a bit)

💞💖💕💓💗💘💝❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍

#hope its cool with everyone that im posting these ✌ #they make me grin like an idiot <3 #need more of this in my life #besties i would point out every little thing i love about these but my notes would be longer than i can comprehend in my sleepy state #just know these are the last things i think about before falling asleep at night and the first things i think about when i wake up in the m #orning #🥺 <333333 #i am not tagging characters or media bc i dont actively hate myself like that 😎👍 #in all of these except that last one i started drawing in the bottom right corner and i dont know why #the medicine seller page is so unhinged #in my defense it was berries that drew him first so #yesterday morning was a solo except my brother pasting in a photo of alex jones #i have... (checks downloads) ...26 versions of WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE saved...... #i would write more here but i cannot process thoughts rn im bout to fall asleep and have been the entire day :-))) #buddy daddies #tbhk #hmc #tgcf #moomin #omori #tbna #trigun #adventure time #mononoke #mdzs #drawfee #csm #pokemon #ok yea #magma