#also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to

[northern-passage]

i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)

i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)

faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.

anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!

#if u read one day hike it's in the similar vein i guess. sad lesbians...lol #this is VERY embarrassing for me i do not write or share poetry very often so. HRNG #i tried to do more of a narrative style first with choices & an abrupt short voice #but i really didnt like it. felt even more embarrassing than this... #i dont think the way i write lends itself to that style & it felt very amateurish/childish #so i set it aside for a while and kept working on my other project in the meantime #so i think when i came back to it i was feeling partially inspired by what i had written for that which made me rewrite it again #sex and food and desire and hunger... you know how it is #not 100% about it all together but i like it more than the first 4 versions lmfao #i did try to do timed lines as well and it just.. didnt hit for me. i love/hate timed lines you have to really get them just right #or else they're just annoying iykwim #also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to #also also this is a poem in that. i wrote it and am calling it a poem...mnfkjdg #anyways. ough #faith #other writing

[blatherkatt]

oh whoops i meant to ask this earlier but i forgot. if your still doing the 500 words thing i'd love to know bro's thought process around this section - Derek didn’t turn around. Dirk watched as his face changed ever so slightly from whatever vague condescension it’d had before back into full neutrality, utterly unreadable. "Me an’ your brother were just…establishing a few things,” he said. “Boy’s gonna need to understand how things work around here, after all.”

oh mAN ehck yeah lets talk about this ahole a bit 

although i can’t go into full detail yet because a lot of how he acts and thinks re: Dave is based on some stuff that hasnt been revealed yet, but I’ll go into it as best I can 

#abuse tw under the cut 

ok first heres ~500 words following after the line in question 

Derek didn’t turn around. Dirk watched as his face changed ever so slightly from whatever vague condescension it’d had before back into full neutrality, utterly unreadable. “Me an’ your brother were just…establishing a few things,” he said. “Boy’s gonna need to understand how things work around here, after all.”

Dave hesitated a moment longer, and then stepped closer, his right hand clenching and unclenching into a fist as he spoke, his voice growing in volume as he did. “You — you said you’d leave him alone, Bro. You said if I fuckin’, behaved, did shit the way you wanted, you’d let him be, and I’ve — I’ve been doing every mundane bullshit thing you asked me to do!” Derek’s face settled into the slightest hint of annoyance as he turned his face halfway toward Dave, who kept talking. “Fuck, I’ve been cleaning this shitty old house all day, putting up with all kinds of bullshit from the rest of the goddamn Usuals, come on! Leave him alone, that was — that was the fuckin’ deal!”

The blow landed so quickly, Dirk didn’t even register what had happened at first; there was a loud crack and then the old man was standing, fully facing Dave, who was reeling backwards, his whole body spinning sideways with the force. His shades clattered off into the darkness of the cellar somewhere as Dave, now facing away from Dirk, leaned one arm against the wall, shaking.

It took seeing Derek lightly flexing the fingers on his right hand for Dirk to piece together what had happened, and at that point, Dave had already recovered enough to scramble to retrieve his shades.

“Git t’ fuck back over here, I ain’t done with you yet,” Derek said. Dave mumbled something Dirk couldn’t make out, and scrambled back over, his shoulders hunched and trembling. Dave leaned back against the wall as Derek loomed over him, dead silent for a long moment. With just as little warning as the slap (if it could be fucking called that, Jesus), Derek’s fist collided with the wall above Dave’s head. Dave jerked, startled. “Fuckin’ look at me when I’m talkin’ t’ you,” Derek hissed, and Dave straightened up, still pressed tight against the wall but with his head facing towards his father (and Dirk could see the side of his face already looking red, see cracks on the lens of his shades). Derek leaned down slightly, his voice dropping so low and quiet, Dirk had to strain to hear it. “I didn’t say shit about leavin’ him alone, and I know for a fact I raised you better than to talk outta turn.”

“Sorry.”

what a douche

but alright so 

Derek like…did actually care about Dave once upon a time. he was always abusive but (and this is no excuse mind u) he was at one point genuinely doing it because he had this idea of shaping the kid to be a warrior…and then he took Dave out on a raid for the first time and was surprised when his thirteen year old son who’d always been the gentlest of his kids (which isnt necessarily saying a whole lot but still worth noting) refused to kill. And starting at about that point (like it didnt change overnight but it was p rapid) Dave went from being his son to basically an easy target for Derek to be angry at, which. Is a thing he’s constantly looking for for reasons I can’t go into much because Spoilers. (It starts w/ Uncle Dave ofc but I mean beyond that I can’t say much yet). The kid’s a disappointment now, a failure, and the more Dave fails to live up to Derek’s ridiculous expectations the more reinforced that becomes. 

There was also that one single time Derek caught Dave directly disobeying him, the moment he got caught talking to Jade over pesterchum that he told Karkat about, and Derek thinks he taught Dave not to disobey him ever in that moment (he didn’t, he just taught the kid to not get caught but he doesnt realize this). 

So anyway all that backstory is to set up that in this particular scene he’s here talking to Dirk, and his long term plan for keeping both the boys here basically amounts to ‘Dave won’t run, and he’ll do anything to keep Dirk safe, so he’ll be easier to manipulate with Dirk here; and Dirk won’t leave without Dave, and will do things he doesn’t want to for Dave’s sake’ and he’s confident enough in this that he’s basically telling Dirk what he’s gonna do to Dirk’s face. And then Dave comes in and talks out of turn, which is something he’s doing because he got used to living with people who, you know, respect him and see him as an actual person. And Derek’s thinking here that this kid knows better than to question him or talk like this, especially when he’s in the middle of something, so he’s just waiting at first for Dave to remember the goddamn rules. Not very long, because he’s not patient when it comes to Dave, but still. And when Dave doesn’t get the message from Derek looking slightly annoyed at him, he, as Derek would put it, ‘gets to deal with the consequences.’ 

Clearly, Dave’s gone soft in his time with Rachel, which is about what Derek expected, and therefore the kid’s gonna need a firm hand to get him back into shape and blah blah boy i feel like a douche just writing how this guy thinks sometimes lmao. anyway ofc Dave snaps back into his old way of thinking as soon as he’s hit, which is exactly what Derek wanted – plus it has the added bonus of demonstrating to Dirk that Derek’s got Dave right where he wants him. 

he’s also like. ‘what the fuck kid what makes you think that i make /deals/ with you, you’re not my equal you’re gum on the bottom of my shoe’ and doesn’t actually care if he did say anything about not hurting dirk if dave behaved. the important part is that Dave knows his place. 

(the biggest plot twist of this entire series is that the guy who thinks like this now used to be an actual decent person once believe it or not. i say plot twist jokingly because its rly not n were gonna see some of him being decent when he was younger in the next chapter but like….yeah he wasnt always like this. doesnt change the fact that hes despicable now!!!) 

#RLY SORRY TO FOLKS ON MOBILE #abuse tw// #longpost #calmvsstormfic #again not rly but. i wanna be able to find this again