#no lessons no takeaways nothing just me going about saying whatever

[imblocking-you]

Y'all I read novels sometimes because I've been spoiled about the geral gist of the story and a particular moment in the book worth waiting for. In orv, I was told about the dokja meets od scene with yjh somewhere and it got me excited about the novel kept me going despite constantly crying lmao. In S-class I learned about some qipao(?) scene although idk if it's true. In lcf, I learned about krs but honestly even without something to wait for it was all around enjoyable and kept me on my toes. In mdzs, it was the hairband thing scene YK THE ONE and countless other little pieces of information that drowned me in the fandom, took me for a long swim. For tgcf, it was just the existence of hua cheng, like in general and coffin scene lol. In KOD, everything ab it, I love kod but spoilers here were insane, man. For twsb, I think it was just the female lead getting a different role idkk it got me hooked even without a spoiler so this is like revealed really early on. For IDWTR, I think it's the "fairytale arc" as they called it which convinced me to bear with the mtl bc I am a aucker for world-hopping or any of the same sort.

#reveals secrets and variety are my shtick #useless post #nothing to learn from here #no lessons no takeaways nothing just me going about saying whatever #but yeah #my online reading experience #i started on the university series too cause some tiktok advertised it as better than it actually was #came out disappointed so now it only amounts to the honourary mentions #i haven't read a genuine physical book in a while all pf #of my* past reads had been online and had a different vibe to those i've read in the past #it has significantly altered me and aspects of my personality during quarantine and beyond #idk what im saying it's 1 am #why cant i just read quietly and stop the urge to share my opinion #this is why reading w no wifi is better #webnovel

[kitkatopinions]

I got into this argument recently over the whole “V9 is pro-suicide” thing (it is) and, despite the fact this other person agreed that Ascension is an allegory for suicide, they kept on saying that when I looked at the story through that lens I was “taking it too literally because it’s a fairy tale”

Like… what’s the point in even reading a story if you’re NOT supposed to buy into what they’re trying to say with said story? Am I supposed to ignore all of the characters and the literal world of the story saying that “Ascension is actually a good thing that people should go through” and how Ascension throughout the entire volume is framed as death?

Or how, before Ruby ascends in the first place, she literally says “I don’t want to be me anymore” after being brutalized and then drinks a substance she believes will actively kill herself?

I was told over and over again that “because Ruby chose herself it’s anti-suicide,” but the entire reason she gets to CHOOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE is because she killed herself? The entire thing is a glorified way of saying “if you like yourself, you’ll become a better person for it because you’ll magically realize that you’re perfect the way you are” when that’s literally not true and not how it works?

I’m sorry this is going on for so long. I just wanted to see a different perspective. V9 has consistently fucked me up as a survivor of suicide and I just don’t understand how people can vehemently say that there’s nothing equating to suicide or pro-suicide messaging in this story when they literally admit constantly that suicide is present in the narrative.

I am really upset about whoever this other person is admitting that Ascension is an allegory for suicide but taking the stance of 'but we're not supposed to think about it because this is like a fairy tale.' Does that person not understand fairy tales? Most of them have lessons baked into them. Does that person not understand how media works? Most media has something under the surface, some sort of meaning or intended takeaway or even accidental biases on the part of the writers baked into them. You can watch even the most stupid just there for pure entertainment piece of media - You can watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2007 and still come out of it understanding that in-between the CGI Chipmunks singing songs and the bad charmless acting of the guy who played Dave (my sis and I believe that role should've instead been played by Brendan Fraser,) you're supposed to get the take-away that kids should be allowed to be treated like kids and not used just for money-making and that found family is valuable and should be embraced and not pushed away out of fear of commitment. RWBY should tell us something, it should have messages and takeaways, especially because the very start of rwby presents us with the conflicting beliefs of Salem and Ozpin - Salem insisting that mankind's passion and strength will always wane and darkness will take over, with Ozpin countering that mankind's victory will be found in 'the simpler things she's long forgotten, things that require a smaller, more honest soul' while we see Ruby. The entire thing is full of (admittedly contradictory) morals and take-aways and meanings. Some of them are bad, some of them reflect the biases of the writers, or the bigotry that Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross never deconstructed. It's not just there to be pretty lights, and it's actually imo wildly irresponsible for people to not try to analyze rwby.

"Yeah, Ascension is like suicide, but we're not meant to think about it" that person can fuck off. The trend of 'media isn't meant to be critically consumed or analyzed, it's just there for us to like and have fun' is the worst and it's destroying thoughtful media. I swear to God if the Lord of the Rings movies came out today people would be like "yeah I guess it's probably informed by Tolkien's time in war or whatever, but we're not supposed to think about it or take it seriously, it's just a make-believe story."

(I will be talking about Ruby's attempted suicide down below, please be advised and don't read if that sort of thing might be triggering to you.)

Also, on the note of "because Ruby chose herself in the end, it's anti-suicide' that really is just... Wildly wrong. Ruby chose to commit suicide. She thought that drinking the tea was going to essentially remove her from existence, erase all her memories, transform her body into something else, that she would not be 'Ruby Rose' at all and would instead be replaced by someone better. That is her hating herself, that is her wanting to die. Just because she thought something else would take her place doesn't mean she herself wasn't trying to commit suicide. Basically what the rwby writers wrote was the equivalent of a story where a girl pops pills in an attempt to kill herself, but is clinging to life, and while she's lying on her deathbed, her consciousness meets God and they give her the choice to either die or wake up, and she decides to wake up. Although this in and of itself would be incredibly dicey (irl people don't get to decide POST-ATTEMPT whether they really want to go through with it while getting the option to see their long dead mom and get assurance of her affection before they choose, and acting like that's the case is damaging especially to teens and kids,) the rwby writers make it worse! They make it worse by showing Ruby's closest friends including her older sister essentially sit around her bedside having smiling happy chats with each other and assuring each other that they'll be happy for Ruby if she DOES choose to die and that it's her choice and that it could be a good thing.

This is so damaging. And it's so damaging to show Ruby just coming out of it unscathed, smiling, having her role as a leader back and accepting it with happiness, having her struggles just waved away as if they hadn't happened. It's an allegory for a suicide where Ruby gets an 'are you sure about this' menu screen that people irl don't ever get, gets to see her mom and hear her mom say she loves her which people irl don't get, gets to talk to God and be told 'encouraging things' which is something people irl don't get, and gets to come out of it seemingly better than ever with no consequences which is something people irl don't get, and her friends and family don't have to grapple with what happened because they can just dismiss it as 'Ruby choosing to go to therapy' essentially somehow, and then the whole thing is just left in the past - while NEO COMMITS SUICIDE TOO AND IT'S TREATED LIKE A GOOD THING DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE SHE'LL 'CHOOSE HERSELF.' Which just makes the allegory three hundred times more damaging if you ask me.

On top of how bad that is, we have the Paper Pleasers, we have an example of people that didn't come back as themselves, but as entirely new people. They killed themselves, and didn't 'chose themselves,' instead destroying their bodies and their memories, essentially wiping themselves from existence, and it was framed as an exclusively good thing that Jaune needed to recognize was just a part of letting people make their own choices - framed alongside not only the fact that Ruby herself had yet to choose to come back as herself but also the fact that Penny just chose to die in the last season after begging for death over and over and getting Jaune himself to help her commit suicide... That lesson is so much worse. The paper pleasers killing themselves was presented in the narrative of RWBY as a positive, good thing despite the fact that they did not come back as themselves. If what happened to Ruby is the equivalent of someone popping pills and miraculously surviving by meeting God and getting the choice to return, the Paper Pleasers are the equivalent to an entire village of people willingly drinking poison in an attempt to meet God because they believe they'll ascend and shed their mortal forms so they can no longer be damaged and may carry on their assigned duty and reason for living as perfect creatures, and... Where have I heard that before? And the rwby writers present it as a good thing they were right about! The rwby writers present suicide as not only a sometimes good choice that helps you grow, but a needed choice that you're worse off for not taking - and coupled with Penny, it's horrible.

People have this idea that because Ruby, Neo, and the Paper Pleasers believed that something would continue on living from the remnants of who they once were, it's not suicide, but... That's very much so the way I thought about suicide growing up as an evangelical Christian. When I struggled with thoughts of suicide in my early teen years, that’s how I thought of it, and realizing that my friends and family WOULD care and WOULDN'T be able to accept it and WOULDN'T think of it as a good thing was one of the things that helped me start to get better. If I had seen RWBY in those days, seeing volume nine and seeing them praise the suicide of the people pleasers while smilingly deciding they'd be happy if Ruby destroyed herself would've fucked me up, and as it is right now, it was still triggering and upsetting to me.

I'm so sorry that this season was hard for you as a survivor of suicide, and that people are being so willfully stubborn in their refusal to see how damaging it was. What the rwby writers may have been intending to make - a story about a suicidal girl realizing she is enough - is not what they actually put into their show. Instead, accidentally or otherwise, they glorified suicide in incredibly damaging ways, and the fans need to recognize that. They need to stop with their 'tree therapy' jokes and their 'drink the tea' cracks, and just accept that the writers got it wrong. Saying 'it's just a fairy tale so why would I think about it' is a ridiculously stupid cop-out. Like, if people aren't even thinking through anything in RWBY, then why are they even watching it? If people aren't engaging with it, aren't getting anything out of it, won't even try to think about the themes and morals and what's being communicated, then why watch it in the first place?

#rwde #tw; suicide mention #tw; suicide #trigger warning; suicide mention

[survey--s]

413.

Who’s the last person you were angry with? A (now ex) client for constantly messing me around and cancelling walks with less than an hours notice -_-  What was the last video game that you beat?  I don’t remember.

When was the last time you ate Pop Tarts? A few years ago. I always love the idea but they always taste like cardboard and disappointment, lol.

Have you ever hyperventilated? Yes, I’ve had a few panic attacks in my time.

Have you ever had lice? I think I did once or twice when I was in primary school, yeah.

Colored or black-and-white photo? I prefer coloured photos.

Do you believe in astrology? No.

Who did you last give a piggyback ride to? Probably my niece, but that was years ago now.

Do you like Lady Gaga or does she try too hard? Her music is catchy but I don’t get the appeal of her style or anything. She seems to have totally disappeared lately anyway.

What’s the ugliest trend you’ve ever seen? Crocs.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I have cats and a dog, but I wouldn’t keep my favourite wild animals at pets, no.

What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean? Do whatever I could to get help.

When was the last time you played Guitar Hero? Years ago. Does that game even really exist anymore?

Where did you last wear a bathing suit? Last time I used the hot tub at Tracey’s - so maybe September, I think?

Who did your last notification come from? Paul.

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? Either is fine unless it’s something intimate, then I prefer female.

Ever cried so much you threw up? Yeah, quite a few times lol.

Are you completely over your last relationship? Yes.

Have you ever gone to a beach? I live about five minutes from the beach - I’m there pretty much every single day.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Yeah, and I was right lol.

What do you usually order on a pizza? If I’m getting takeaway, I love a BBQ meat feast. if I’m in an Italian restaurant, I’ll go for a fancy margarita with sundried tomatoes, mozzarella and pesto.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? No.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I always use conditioner, otherwise my hair goes really dry and frizzy.

Would you ever visit a psychic? If it was free, sure, I’d go for a laugh.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No, I was never allowed a pet when I was growing up.

Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? Yes.

Had sex at school? No.

[TW: ABUSE] Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret? It’s not exactly that straightforward, is it?

What recently happened that made you proud of yourself? I got Stanley to canter in my lesson a few weeks ago after my instructor told me he’d been refusing for days, lol.

[TW: DRUG OD] Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? No.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? They are, yes.

Have you ever made out on a couch? Sure.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? A really, really good night’s sleep.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? I don’t really drink much but I’ll be having mulled wine after my beach ride tomorrow morning as we get one for free lol.

What are you doing on Halloween? I worked.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? No.

Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? I own Sims 1-3 on my laptop but I haven’t played for years.

What are you listening to at the moment? It’s Me or the Dog.

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? .

If you could take back saying anything to anyone, what would it be? Nothing.

Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? I mean, my diet isn’t brilliant.

When were you the saddest in your life? Probably my final year of university.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? I don’t have any siblings. Have you been outside today? Yeah, I work outdoors. I was out for work from around 8-1, then I came home and sorted out my Christmas presents, went back to the shops and the post office, then back home to unpack and have a bath, then back out to do my last cat visit of the day.   Did you know you wanted to be in a relationship with the person you are now when you first met him/her? No.

Would you rather live in Alaska or New Zealand? New Zealand.

Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Yeah, my husband and my mum.

What would you do if you walked into your house only to find your boyfriend and your mother making out? I mean, why would that ever happen? lol.

What if you found out your partner had a previous sex change? Again, that’s not going to happen.

Have you ever dated someone in the military? Yes.

When’s the next time you’ll have to buy a gift for someone? Christmas.

List the last ten people that texted you. Suzanne, Jade, Mike, Alice, Helen, my mum, Sophie, Marc, Leila, Steph.

What colour is your favourite eye shadow? Silver.

What’s your favourite hairstyle on a guy? It depends on the person.

Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I honestly don’t remember.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to Facebook message you? My dad, I think.

Do you know how to make origami? I used to know how to make a couple of things, but that was years ago.

Who is your hero? I don’t really have one.

How would you like to be proposed to one day? I’ve been proposed to twice. All that matters is that it’s genuine.

When was the last time you saw your brother? I don’t have a brother. I last saw my brother-in-law about six months ago.

Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents? They’ve met loads of times. I mean, we are married lol.

What does the shirt you’re wearing look like? I’m wearing a bright pink t-shirt, a grey knit jumper and a cream hoody.

Do you like to cuddle? I love it but I don’t like it when the weather is hot and you get all sweaty.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? No, we’re married.

Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? No.

Any baby names you think you might name your future kids? I don’t want kids.

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it’s over? It was me that ended it, but it his fault.

Has anyone seen you naked in the last 6 months? Yeah.

#survey #surveys

[madswonders]

A Lesson In Romance #10: Thoughts

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Implied anxiety, Mentions of canon-typical violence

Word Count: 2.5k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they're paired together on a case.

A/N: I know that the BAU's conference room has big-ass glass windows but just imagine that the blinds are closed for the entirety of this chapter aha. Also this chapter is a doozy... like 1k words longer than usual, so enjoy!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

---------

As Peter Gizzi once described the phenomena of love, "About you there is nothing I wouldn’t want to know / With you nothing is simple yet nothing is simpler."

In high school, your reputation always preceded you. The cynic that never had a boyfriend, much less a drunken one-night stand; a prude who waited over ten dates to have her first kiss; or the "ice queen" who kept her emotions locked up and threw away the key.

If they saw you now, you wondered if they would laugh at how you've changed; because these days, you looked like you were keeping the best secret in the world, one that threatened to burst from your lips every time you smiled.

What you didn’t know, is that you didn't need to be a profiler to see it. From the bubbling laughter and whispered conversations, to the not-so-secret longing glances. You and Spencer disappeared into your own world when you were together, and everybody knew it.

And for the first few weeks, that was enough. You found it easier than usual to ignore the thoughts that lurked in the back of your mind. That is, until you couldn't.

"... I want you and Spencer to work on the geographic profile." Hotch had announced, and you remembered the feeling of your blood running cold.

There were two reasons for this. First was the fact that this case linked twenty homicides across three years to a single unsub. If there was any case that required the two nerdiest members of the BAU to team up, this was it.

Unfortunately, that fact was closely followed by an overwhelming fear — and you wanted to preface this by saying that you were usually a woman of logic and science — but, somehow, you couldn't shake the thought that something bad was going to happen to you and Spencer, and you weren't ready for it.

Leaning against the cool conference room wall, you tapped your toes in an impatient rhythm against the carpeted floor. You were trying to recite what you learned from your PhD; that your mind was jumping to conclusions and that it was normal to be nervous. It was normal to feel this way. You were normal.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, jolting you out of your mantra.

You realised your boyfriend had been talking to you for awhile now, but clearly, you weren't listening. You shook your head apologetically.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Could you say that again?"

"I was just saying, you can start by pinning the names and locations of the victims, and I'll put up the crime scene photos... but are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, this time shooting you those puppy dog eyes that made you weak.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's get to work." You said firmly, grabbing the box of push pins. You felt his gaze linger on you for a second, before he began picking up his own stack of pictures.

The first hour sped by quickly as you and Spencer listed out all of the unsub’s possible motives and next victims. At the half hour mark, Hotch dropped in to check on your progress, bringing takeaway coffee and leaving with a rare smile.

At the second hour, the rest of the team returned with some new leads, and unfortunately, new bodies, but nothing that helped solidify the profile any further than what you already had.

At the fifth hour, there was no denying it. The team had hit a wall. While the rest of them were back in the field investigating more leads, you sipped on your second cup of coffee while staring at the evidence board. Spencer paced the room behind you.

"The messy dump sites. The carvings onto the victims' chests. One points to the unsub being disorganised and inexperienced, but the other is a clear, almost narcissistic ritual." The doctor thought aloud.

"Usually that means the unsub is trying to make a statement, but he killed his first ten victims before the police found out, then killed another seven and three right under their noses before going dormant. If he wanted to make a statement, why wouldn't he tip off the police or media sooner?" He grumbled.

"Are we sure it's not a taunt to the local police’s competency? Many of his first victims were found in secluded areas with limited police support." You pointed out, tapping the edge of your cup in thought.

"No, the victimology and locations are too wide spread. A taunt would present a clearer message." He said.

You turned around suddenly, causing him to halt in his steps. "Here's something completely off the wall — but what if the unsub was trying to achieve a specific pattern with his kills?" You said, gesturing with your cup.

Tap, tap-tap, tap, you created the rhythm with your finger.

"That would explain why he isn't acting like a narcissist. Maybe he's suffering a mental condition that compels him to complete a certain pattern, and subsequently, ritual with his kills. Could be rhythmical, musical, numerical..." You explained.

"Numerical. That's it!" Spencer squeaked, rushing to the board with a marker. "I thought these numbers seemed familiar earlier, that's because they make up prime numbers!"

He backed away from the board to reveal what he wrote. The numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11. A lightbulb turned on in your head.

"2, 3 and 5 make up the first ten kills. 7 is the next, which he managed to complete perfectly, but something happened to the unsub at 11." Spencer voiced your thoughts.

"He might have been incarcerated, or injured. But we can't rule out the possibility that he might have moved out of town and resumed the pattern elsewhere. So either we can expect 8 more victims here, or the unsub has already moved onto the next number: 13." You quickly finished the train of thought.

"Love, you're a genius!" Spencer rushed over to pick you up by the waist, twirling you as you laughed in relief. But the relief turned to surprise when he kissed you deeply.

God, he was good at this. Even when your feet touched the ground, it felt like you were seeing stars. Though it was only when your lips parted that he had the decency to blush.

"Love?" You breathed.

Spencer's cheeks turned crimson in embarrassment, but he didn't back away. Instead, he leaned forward, bumping your foreheads together gently.

"I didn't know you had that in you, doctor." You teased.

"Well, my mother did school me in classic romance literature from a young age. Not to mention, I happen to be a genius at most things..." You could hear the smile in his voice, and you giggled.

The doctor pulled away then, an adoring smile still plastered across his face. "Are you fee—" He began, but his voice died in his throat as his gaze fixated on something behind you.

"Ooooh, am I interrupting something?" You turned around to see none other than Penelope smiling coyly from the doorway, and the two of you jumped apart.

"N-no, nothing!" Spencer blurted out.

"All fine and dandy here." You added on, blushing furiously.

The tech analyst smiled deviously. "Well, I thought I'd come and check on my two favourite lovebirds. Anything else from the case for me to chew on? Except whatever that was earlier." She teased.

"Actually, there is." You cleared your throat awkwardly, while the good doctor looked like he wanted to melt into the carpet.

"We need you to search up murders in neighbouring cities that match the mutilation by our unsub, then cross-reference the time frame with any new residents. We suspect he might be trying to complete a pattern, and that he may have done it somewhere other than here." You said.

"On it, future-Mrs-Genius. I will get back to you so fast that you won't even have time to get down and dirty." She half-yelled that last bit, heels clicking as she walked back to her office. Before you could even formulate a response, she was gone.

You felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around you from the back. "Now, where were we?" He whispered.

You giggled, leaning back into the doctor's chest while he rocked your bodies side to side. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked.

"Next time someone says it's not as intense in here as it is out there, I'm going to give them a stern talking to." You joked.

"You know what I mean, love." Spencer reiterated gently, the pet name falling from his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. "If you tell me about it, I can help you. You know I'm always here for you."

You sighed softly, blinking back tears that threatened to spill.

"It's something stupid. I-I'm fine."

He turned you around, brows furrowing in concern when a tear rolled down your cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked, wiping it away tenderly.

"I— I was worried about us working together." You admitted. "And it's not because I don't like working with you, but I just— I just couldn't—"

"Take a deep breath, love. Slowly." He held your shoulders as you breathed in and out, once, twice.

"I've been afraid this whole day — no, for awhile now — that something was going to happen to our relationship." You confessed shakily. "And it's not about our jobs — although I worry about that too — but I'm scared that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm not worth the trouble."

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the next wave of tears.

"A-and it's only gotten worse because I've never been so h-happy with another person before. Only you've made me feel this way, and I'm t-terrified that I'll lose what we have."

There was a brief silence as Spencer pulled you close to his chest, one hand stroking your hair carefully. You could hear his heart beating fast.

"Do you remember when the team tricked us into sharing a bed?" He whispered, a hint of a smile trickling into his voice. "I think about it every single time we're about to go into the field. Because you said you'd never leave me, and now, whenever we're out there, I know I'm not alone."

He breathed in deeply, your head gently rising and falling together with his chest.

"You've given me someone to come home to, love. What we have, you'll never lose it, okay?" He whispered.

"Baby, I—" Your voice halted. Crap.

"Wait. Baby?" Spencer repeated back to you, a teasing lilt in his voice. Your face flushed, and you unwinded your arms from your boyfriend to cover your face.

"Oh god, can we pretend that didn't just happen?"

"I have an eidetic memory." He pointed out. You let out a watery laugh, knowing when you had lost.

"Alright, alright. But I do have another ide—"

Then, the conference room phone rang. It was Emily. "Hey guys, Garcia managed to narrow down the unsub and we're 10 out, but we'll need some back-up."

"Be there in 15." You replied, while Spencer shot you an amused look, Luckily, he waited for the call to end before saying the next words.

"Let's go, baby." He wiggled his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, already strapping on your kevlar. "That's it. You're not driving."

"Aww!"

---------

After the major breakthrough in the case — all thanks to Nerd 1 and Nerd 2, as Derek fondly called the two of you — the case managed to wrap up neatly and the BAU found themselves in a rare position. Ready to end the work day, on time.

Not that anybody was packing up to leave just yet, although you wished they would, because Penelope had decided to start enthusiastically retelling how she found the BAU's resident lovebirds in the conference room, unable to keep their hands off each other.

"Last I heard, pet names aren't a crime — and how long were you standing there anyway?" You accused, blushing.

"Firstly, they are. Criminally cute, that is!" Penelope squealed, while the rest were in fits of laughter. "And secondly, you should never underestimate my awesome ninja abilities, because I heard everything that I needed to hear."

"Do I even want to know?" Spencers winced.

"I don't think you do, pretty boy." Derek laughed, clapping the genius on the back.

"Wait, wait, wait. Can we go back to how Spencer's pet name of choice is love?" Emily gasped in laughter.

"You've got to admit it's kind of cute, Emily." JJ smiled.

"Sure. If you're courting Mr. Darcy and attending cotillions."

"C'mon, Prentiss. All that means is that our boy's got style." Derek added to laughter, while Spencer whined in protest.

The door to Hotch's office opened suddenly, both him and Rossi stepping out with expressions of urgency on their faces.

“Sorry to break up the fun, kiddos. But there's been an update to the case.” Rossi announced, following right behind Hotch to the conference room.

The laughs were wiped off everybody's faces as you traded concerned looks. As you filed into the room, Hotch had already begun speaking.

“Another body was found half an hour ago. Same MO, same random victimology, and same kind of dumpsite. And the unsub just told us where to find his copycat.”

“Wait, we never profiled a second unsub.” Derek interjected.

"It doesn't makes sense — the first unsub is a control freak. He didn't like the idea of anybody messing with his sequence. Wouldn't he have done something if he knew somebody else was copying his pattern?" You asked.

"We profiled that he wouldn't be able to deviate from his pattern. What if he had to continue, even when somebody else was committing some of the crimes for him?" Spencer countered.

“Hold on, you said the unsub gave us a location?” Emily asked.

"And a time." Rossi voiced up. “8pm tonight at The Basil. The first unsub claims that's where the copycat finds his next targets."

"How do we know if we can trust him?" Derek asked.

"We don't. But he didn't display any telltale signs of doubt when he told us, and this is the only lead we have." Hotch's frown deepened. You had a feeling he didn't like the idea of this either, but the team didn't have a choice.

"Okay, if we're doing this, he can't know we're onto him," Emily thought aloud, "and we'll need precautions in case it's a trap. That means..."

"Undercover agents... and the bait." Hotch said with finality.

“And who did you have in mind for that?” You piped up, and everyone turned their eyes to you.

“You and Reid.” He stated the obvious.

“B-b-but, I’ve never gone—"

“You’ve more than proven your abilities in the field since you joined us, and having natural chemistry will make it less suspicious to the unsub.”

You opened your mouth, but no words fell from it. Hotch was right. Of course he was right.

As if hearing your thoughts, Spencer took your hand in his and squeezed, and you felt a little calmer already. “Ok, I’ll do it.” You said determinedly, while the doctor echoed your sentiment.

Hotch nodded, beginning to assign roles to the rest of the team while you squeezed your boyfriend's hand tighter, a new mantra forming in your head.

Everything is going to be okay. Everything will be okay.

----------

Tag List:

@blue-space-porgs @nobutalsoyes @lady-loves-a-lot @queen-flower @agentcarterisgay @totalmess191 @sapphic-prentiss @oops-all-ajs @spottedzebrasinpartyhats @mellowalieneggsknight @kenny-0909 || @averyhotchner @amesandpineapples @willowrose99

#mads fics #spencer reid x reader: a lesson in romance #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #cm fanfiction #cm fanfic #cm fic #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid x reader hurt/comfort

[felassan]

Check out this video interview with Mark Darrah, ‘On Anthem’s Launch, Dev Advice, And Leaving BioWare’. It’s interesting and pretty substantial. He talks about a bunch of different things, including his YouTube channel, things BioWare could’ve done differently, crunch, whether he’ll write a book about his gamedev experiences, gamedev pitfalls, Anthem’s troubled development, the development of projects he worked on including DA2, cancelled projects (and what happened to them) including Jade Empire 2 / ‘Jade Modern’ / Revolver and Mass Effect: Corsair, the reasons why he left BioWare and Dragon Age 4.

I recc giving the whole thing a watch, but if you’re not able to, here are the Dragon Age 4-related quotes and other especially interesting-to-me portions transcribed for ur convenience! (under a cut due to length):

Mark: "There is a tendency for projects that are small to think they're amazing, because it's so much easier. Like when I ran Sonic [Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood] - it was a 20 person team - it's just so much easier to make things go smoothly than when you have a 200 person team. So I think that we've made progress, but as Dragon Age pivots into production and that team gets bigger and bigger, it will be interesting to see if that's true or if it's just the blindness of being a small team. Like when Inquisition was in the throes of shipping, both Mass Effect: Andromeda and Anthem would love to talk about how they were 'doing things right!' and then they fell in totally different holes, but still fell in a bunch of holes after Inquisition shipped. So I do think that there is a hubris that comes from a project in early development where you feel like this time you've figured it out."

---    Mark: “As Dragon Age [4] was moving towards production, I could see that like, the team, I've been told by people that they've never met a team that more wants to be in production than Dragon Age team. But what ended up happening was, in order for the team to really explore the space properly, we had to sort've train them to be in pre-production. But that meant that that team no longer really wanted to be in production, they wanted to be in pre-production. And so, looking at what was going to be required to pivot that team into production, it wasn't a challenge that I thought I was up to any longer. I think that team, once they get into the mindset, is capable of moving entire mountains, and will move entire mountains, but they need someone that can lead them through that."

Interviewer: “Yeah, from the outside it's striking that you and Casey Hudson left at the same time. It sort’ve definitely implies a ‘fuck this’ moment for the two of you. If it was just you saying ‘I can’t do it’ then it’s understandable.”

Mark: “Yeah, no, I mean, it’s hilarious, because, we definitely were not coordinated. That was, as near as I can determine, there was nothing that triggered us on the same moment other than maybe just a sort’ve mounting, just, like, this friction, being at the, I would say, the GM and EP, the point at which the [something?] friction and the project friction meet, and you’re just sort of grinding there. But I don’t think there was a massive injection of anything late last year that triggered that. Not that I can point to. For me, yeah, I do think it was, weirdly, a coincidence. Casey and I have stayed in touch, we didn’t leave to go form a studio together or anything.”

---

Interviewer: “Are you being torn apart a little bit internally about that pressure of, ‘I know if I just made a video that said, The Secrets of Dragon Age - not even Dragon Age 4, whatever the hell that thing’s called at this point - but just, The Secrets of Dragon Age: Origins’, like, you know that  audience surely would show up. I imagine there’s that community that’s screaming at you, like, ‘Tell us something we don’t know about Dragon Age, tell us about the future!!’, versus, trying to play it a little more straight and actually offer gamedev advice.”

Mark: “Yeah, for sure, absolutely, like, looking at, there is an entire segment of YouTube which is ‘Dragon Age fans talking about Dragon theories and watching the trailers and picking them apart’ and I could do that, and that would be, I feel like that would almost destructive to everybody, because I could deflate all the theories, some of which are completely completely wrong, some of which are amazingly right. But I think, like, I don’t think the community actually wants that. They might sort’ve think they do, but I think if I just sort’ve pulled away the curtain, I think it’d be like, ‘Ohh.. but now what are we gonna talk about? :(’ Like I don’t think that anybody wants that honestly. It would be great for my metrics but I don’t think anyone really wants that.”

Interviewer: “And not to offer you advice, but like I think there’s somewhere in the middle. Like when they have the next teaser trailer for the next Dragon Age project, you could do a reaction video to that and it would be your most viewed thing by a mile, and you wouldn’t be stepping on anybody’s toes.”

Mark: “Yeah, I have thought about that exact thing. Cause we’ve now moved, I think, beyond the horizon of anything that comes out of Dragon Age at this point, like if they’re at EA Play, and I don’t know if they’re at EA Play or not, then whatever that is will be something that I didn’t have anything to do with, so we’re reaching the point where I can now, I feel like, start to provide, yeah, reaction videos from the perspective of, an incredibly well-informed outsider.”

---

Interviewer: “And you must know, even though you’re not inside the studio, like, just have an appreciation how much that [MELE’s good success and good reception] can do for the studio’s morale. I’d imagine it’s just night and day.”

Mark: “Oh, absolutely, like. Andromeda and Anthem being the last two things before the remaster, that is a cloud that hangs above the studio for sure.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, I mean I remember visiting for Dragon Age: Inquisition, it must have been, and it was still, like, the Mass Effect 3 ending, I feel like, even visiting the studio for two days, you could feel that like, funk, of just like ‘ugh, good Christ, we’ve gotten the crap kicked out of us’.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean. The Mass endings is an interesting one for me. Because, it’s not the choices I would have made to end the game, but those are the choices that were made. I wonder... I don’t like ultimatums, and I feel like with Mass 3, the team kind’ve gave into an ultimatum. The community was so angry that we then released new better endings to ‘fix it’, and it’s not that that’s a bad piece of content, that’s a good piece of content, but I just worry that, the internet today, seems almost like... a reaction to the Mass 3 endings. Almost like, the internet learned that if you just yell loud enough you get what you want. And I don’t think that’s real, because it’s Mass Effect, it’s not Star Wars.”

Interviewer: “But I mean, if it wasn’t the ending of Mass Effect 3, it would have been something else in that era of Voices On The Internet Being So loud that it causes a big company to pivot and be like ‘Okay, we’ll try and make you a little bit happier, please just relax everybody’.”

Mark: “Yeah, totally. So I mean, I don’t think Mass Effect bears the brunt of the blame of toxic fan culture. But certainly it’s one of the very first examples of that culture managing to make something happen.”

---

Mark: “Now I do feel that maybe I overlearned that lesson, because, something that I did a lot on Anthem was talk about how, you know, ‘this is not a BioWare-style game, this is not gonna have the storytelling that you’re used to’. And I think maybe I overstressed that. I do think that at the end of the day where we are with Anthem today, if you were a BioWare fan that liked all our other games, and you play Anthem with an eye to playing it as a storytelling game, it’s certainly not our best, but it’s not bad.”

Interviewer: “So Anthem marketing and messaging was hurt because you were overlearning the lessons from Sonic, that’s the takeaway?”

Mark: “I do think so. I do think that like, I don’t think it was from the marketing perspective, but I do think that both Casey and I overstressed [that]. We didn’t want people to get mad at us for making a game that wasn’t a very good storytelling game, so we wanted to get ahead of that message and say like, ‘it’s not a very strong storytelling game, it’s a game about all this other stuff’, but, at the end of the day, it is a storytelling game, it’s still in there. And those are the people that stayed away. And if those people hadn't stayed away, I’m not saying the game would have suddenly done [awesome], but it would’ve softened the narrative a little bit, I think.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, yeah. I mean, I’m sure you understand this better than anybody, but that’s such a loaded term to say ‘This is a BioWare-style game’, and obviously there’s that era of EA where they were trying to say that every project within EA was a ‘BioWare-style’ game and so, it’s interesting to hear you kind’ve, hemming and hawwing about how much to lean into, ‘no no, this one is 100% BioWare, this one is 73% BioWare’ - it’s such a murky thing.”

Mark: “It absolutely is, I mean, and I even said these things. Like we made MDK2, well, we made it, so I mean is that a ‘BioWare-style’ game? Is Baldur’s Gate a ‘BioWare-style’ game? But if it is, then how is Mass Effect a ‘BioWare-style’ game, and certainly I don’t think anyone would argue that Mass Effect is not a ‘BioWare-style’ game. So that term has to evolve as the studio continues. But I think for whatever reason, for a variety of reasons, I guess, with Anthem we were worried that maybe we’d pushed it a bit too far. And then I guess we did.”

Interviewer: “Did you enjoy any part of working on Anthem, or was it just a matter of putting out so many fires that it was just nothing but stress til the end?”

Mark: “It was stressful for me. I mean. I have a weird - the last ten years of my career at BioWare seemed to involve a lot of helping people land their planes. And that’s what Anthem was for me, I wasn't there from the beginning. I was helping to land it. I think there’s a satisfaction that comes with landing a game, with finishing a product, and I felt that with Anthem as well, and there were a lot of talented people on that project that I’d never worked with before, and that was great. It was great to, y’know, figure out these people that had only ever worked on a Mass Effect, that I’d never worked with before, their skills and abilities. I really like understanding the strengths and weaknesses of a person and building around that. I didn’t really have an opportunity on Anthem to do that because y’know, we were just trying to get the plane on the ground, but I think, having learned about what those people could do, that’s very gratifying because it lets you imagine what you could do with them in the future.” 

Interviewer: “Yeah, if things aligned magically, but for you you realized it never was gonna align, and it was always just right on the horizon of being able to cobble this amazing talent together and focus it down.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean - I think that I, the mistake that I made on Anthem, I think the biggest mistake, was I’m used to getting a team that pushes back on me in a certain way. So as I’m sort’ve pushing the stick down to get the plane to hit the runway, I’m used to pushing it sort’ve too far, because I know that the team is gonna push it back and then we’re gonna end up where it should be. And I think that given the state of the team on Anthem when I came on, and given the differences in personalities of the leaders there, versus the ones that I’d been working with for ten years, that’s not what happened. I think if anything, I pushed it down, and then they grabbed it and pulled it even further, because they were desperate for help in decision-making, and I was providing decisions. And they were grabbing onto that, and so I thought we were on this glide slope [motions], I was aiming at this glide slope expecting that we were gonna be like [this], but instead we were like [this], and so we, yeah, we landed that pretty rough. But, I mean, it was my call, I’m the one that said we shouldn’t push to move this, not because I thought it was perfect, but because the only path I could see to making it way better was moving it a lot. And when you’re in the last eight, nine weeks of a project, I could only see like, if we were gonna move it, we [would] have to move it like a year. And that’s - in a public corporation that’s a hard argument to make.”

---

Mark: “One of the most expensive things a project can do is slip. Because, your team, when you do that your team is at its maximum size, so if you got 200 people working on a project and you move a month, well that’s 200 staff months, you just got a bunch more expensive just by moving a month. Whereas actually adding more people, well if you only got a month left, to add 200 staff months to a project, you gotta add 200 people, that’s a lotta people. Moving the date is one of the most expensive, and you can reach a point where it’s like, look, it’s not worth it, if we move the date it’s gonna cost more to continue this project than it’s gonna make, so we’re not gonna. But rarely is that the case, you’ve already spent the money you’ve spent, so the only cost that matters is the cost going forward.”

Interviewer: “So, do you regret not pushing for Anthem to be delayed a year or was it good just to get something on the ground so that we could start building to take it off again with a living game?”

Mark: “Yeah, honestly, I don’t regret it, the [team/game?] was tired and it didn’t have another year in it, and I think a lot of the things that are super obvious now, some of them we knew, some of them we knew, like the balance, we had done one, clean balance pass, by having QA come in and hotseat their way through the game over Christmas break. Like literally playing the game 24 hours a day. We’d done basically that once. So we knew that, we knew that. But a lot of the other things kind’ve only came out once it was out in peoples’ hands. I think the path that I wasn’t capable of seeing at the time that could’ve maybe resulted in a better game would’ve been to put it into beta, like a real beta, in the state that it was in, and run it like that and then release it a year later. But I don’t know if there was the will to do that frankly. There might be now... I think Anthem taught EA a lot of lessons.”

Mark: “[on Cyberpunk] I think many of the same things happened there [as with Anthem]. They had a team that was tired and it wasn’t ready but they couldn’t see the path to getting it more ready. If the team is too tired, just taking another two months just isn’t gonna get you what you think it’s gonna get you.” [source]

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #mass effect: andromeda #anthem #mass effect

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 6/?

Word Count: 2.6-2.7k idk exact

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name (your best friend’s name)

MUSIC IS INCLUDED THIS TIME! Please enjoy my personal music playlist, or at least a snippet of it.

TO THE PERSON WHO REBLOGGED AND SAID THIS WAS CUTE (at least the first part) you straight up made me cry omfg

Warnings: Swearing, gets really fucking heated at the end (no sex, yet), no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Outfit Context:

Y/N:

Jason:

(Cause I finally found an outfit I liked on the boy, men’s fashion isn’t my strong suit,,, heh :) )

“Sorry, is my mouth hung open?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. Very much so,” she mocked.

Jason closed his mouth and outstretched his hand for Y/N’s, cupping it with both hands and kissing the top of it.

“You just look so lovely, Y/N.”

“And you’re chivalrous, Jay. Now, should we get going?” she asked, putting her free hand on top of his two.

“Yes, let’s go,” he let one of his hands go of hers and lead her to the Porsche he brought with him, not intertwining his fingers with hers.

He opened the passenger’s side door and let Y/N get in, not letting go of her hand til the last moment he could hold it. He got in an turned on the radio,

It felt like a good night, for dancing in the moonlight,

In empty streets, well, everybody's got a reason why,

If we could only just get it right,

Maybe it will all work out like in the movies,

But I know Romeo must die before the ending,

With a final poison kiss delivered gently,

Because you don't get lucky twice, and that's the truth,

“Sing to me sweet just like my memory, 

If New York City Still moves me then I’ve found something real,

I’ll be okay, I could go on for days,

But I just don’t have the courage that it takes to be real,

And even if it’s dark at least we’ll be together,

Slowly sinking in the Earth to lay forever,

You better grab a hold and hold on for your life,

Because you don’t get lucky twice,

No, you don’t get lucky twice,” She sung with the tune.

Without the Bitter the Sweet Isn’t as Sweet - Mayday Parade

“You, you have the voice of an angel,” he said.

“It’s not that hard to mimic works of art with my voice.”

“Did you ever take singing lessons?”

“I did when I was younger, so I could sing French lullabies to my cousins.”

He placed a hand on her thigh as he drove them through the countryside of Gotham to Metropolis, taking the long way on what seemed like purpose. So he could encapsulate the moment in his memory for as long as he knew her and what she was to him. She was an adventure waiting to happen, a love story not yet written to tell for ages, a rock ‘n’ roll song written to please the masses in hidden corners of the world.

And to her, he was a masterwork of intertwining memories of pain, sadness, luck and beauty. A mind of complexity she was just waiting to dive into and see how it functioned. A story behind the white tuff of hair he had, why he was jacked to the masses if he was a book nerd. A story of his favourite book and his favourite sibling, his favourite trope, his love, his pain, him.

The moments where she stuck her hand out the window and traced symbols into the Autumn air swirling past the two as they cruised down the empty back roads. When he laughed as she sang Reste by GIMS and Sting. He didn’t understand the lyrics, but she did, and she called it a love song. Well, he got the parts Sting sung, but French wasn’t a language he knew like she did.

“I guess being Bilingual helped you out massively with that one, huh?”

“It’s a talent I never knew I needed, apparently.”

“Well, you did know you needed.”

“That’s fair,” she laughed, “ I guess I did always need it as a skill.”

“Do your cousins speak English too?” he asked.

“Yeah, a bit? It’s better English than my father.”

“Can he not speak English?”

“Well, he can, just not well. But my mother is also Bilingual in English and French so they never had to worry about my father being bad at English. My twin sister and I grew up knowing both languages,” she rambled, still playing with the wind, “I guess it’s a one-up I have on a lot of people, being able to just talk and talk in another language, travelling advantage,” she kept going, Jason intently listening to her as she went on and on, he liked the silence being filled by her voice, “You know? You might know, I don’t know how you were raised to a T,” she finished.

“Well, I can assure you I only know English so you have that theoretical one-up on me, too. But I choose to see that one-up as something you can teach me as time goes on and we progress,” he paused, “If you’re down to get serious eventually, that is,” he panicked.

“Well, maybe we’re at that point where we can say we’re casually seeing each other and exclusive, but not serious. Hopeful, but not pressuring ourselves into something that’s going to be put under a lot of pressure as we go on,” she said, still playing with the wind.

“We’ll see about that after dinner.”

“Where are we even going?”

“Fancy little restaurant with a balcony facing over the city,” he assured.

“Really out here living for the moments?”

“Well, most girls crack under the pressure of the paparazzi, you, however, flipped them off, and that’s being rewarded for showing that you can’t give a fuck about those dingy ass tabloids and how they treat you, by taking you out to nice places,” he said.

She laughed, “I’m glad I’m never going to live that one down, it was really fun to do.”

“I hope it continues as we go along, I would hate to see that behavior change when it brings a smile to everyone who’s ever been harassed by paparazzi” when they pulled over for a second, Jason quickly loosened his tie a tad, “Honestly, I want to ditch this fucking tie,”

“It’s not you,” she said, “It’s just not.”

“And you know me that well to take that guess?”

“I could see you struggling with it from a mile away, Jason. Maybe the fancy restaurant isn’t us,” she laughs, “But we aren’t going to not take that dinner date.”

“Oh we’re so going to take that date, but I’m thinking from here on out we do whatever the fuck we want, no fancy dates. Thoughts?” he asked.

“Done deal,” she said.

----------------------------

In the restaurant, the two of them were basically the worst people to be there, it was levels of fancy that neither of them actually wanted, they both wanted simplicity, but they both thought the presence of the other person was enough of a takeaway from the completely wrong choice of restaurant. They had Dick to blame for this one, and Jason made that clear to Dick in a joking text while Y/N snuck off to the bathroom to ‘fix her hair, she was actually checking her breath.

Dick, this fucking restaurant is a god damn bust, man. We aren’t you and Barbara, that’s what we’ve discovered today. lol.

Bummer! We really like that place.

I can see why it screams Dick and Barbs.

You kissed her yet though?

No.

Wuss! Cat got your tongue? Just do it, man.

And at the same time, Y/N was texting A/N about Jason and what to do,

Girl! Thank you so much for reminding me to bring mints, my god, food ruins your breath so much.

You really want the pretty boy kiss huh?

No, I’m eating the mints to not kiss him, YES I WANT THE KISS.

Ha! Honesty is key, just go for it.

She laughed as she packed her phone into her dress pockets (Yeah there’s fucking pockets :) ) and went to leave the restroom to meet up with Jason again. To which, Jason had already paid and tipped the waiter.

“I could have at least helped on the tip, Jay.”

“I tipped him 200%, but if you want to drop more cash, go for it.”

“You tipped that much?” she asked while slipping in a 50$ she had on her.

“Of course, food service workers deserve a lot more than what they get, especially when they have to deal with terrible customers,” he said as he went and grabbed her hand again, not intertwining fingers again, “And my best friend, Will, he complains about people who don’t tip and praises people who quote ‘over tip’ but I think that he deserves 200% each bill for the shit he puts up with.”

“Did you tip him when we went there?”

“No, I called in a ‘No questions asked’ favour. And before you say anything, he did the same to make me babysit his daughter-”

“Your best friend has a daughter?”

“Well, he’s older than me, but yeah, he’s a single dad because her mum kind of sucks, lovely little girl, I’m her godfather.”

“Does she call you Uncle Jason?”

“Well, Uncle Jay, it’s like one of the only works she knows how to say properly, and Dada,” he laughed, “Great little girl,” he said, nervously, “This doesn’t change anything, does it? ‘Cause if he, knock on fucking wood, lord forbids, dies that will be my daughter.”

“Well, he’s not dead and you’re not worrying that he’s going to die, so nothing has to change. God kids are god kids, noble that you took on your best friend’s kid if, lord forbid, anything happens to the man, really,” she assured.

He sighed and kissed the back of her hand, “Then that is just a gift on top of what I did,” he smiled and lead her back to the Porsche once again, opening the car door for her and she slightly turned on the radio, he let out a small laugh to himself, he got the pretty girl. He got into the Porsche again and began backing out.

“There’s something about ditching a really expensive dinner date that leaves you wanting more,” she said, absent-mindedly.

“What kind of more?” he asked.

“The kind you see in the movies, fully exposed and adventurous, you know?”

“Well, we could always sneak into the Wayne Manor Gardens and dance the night away under the stars like lovers do,” he half-joked, placing a hand on her thigh again and pretending like he did it subconsciously, but he was hyper-aware, especially when he caught her smile as she laughed.

“Wayne Manor? With your brothers, sisters, dad, and grandfather?” she paused, “If you’re serious, then no, not tonight. If you’re pulling my leg then, hell fucking no,” she joked.

“Maybe one day, then, huh?”

“One day, for sure. When it isn’t scary to accidentally run into your family on their property running around with you,” she said.

“Well, we can always go into the Wayne Enterprises Ballroom and dance the night away, no one should be in the office for a while and even then since there are no classes in the entire school tomorrow you can just hide out in my office if we stay too long,” he paused to make sure she was still listening, “Security can’t question me because I’m Bruce Wayne’s son, and security is tight as fuck so paparazzi can’t get to us,” he paused to put a little bit of pressure on her thigh, “What do you say? Can I have this dance, Milady?” he half-joked.

“You want to know something Jason?

“Always, Y/N.”

“I took dance lessons when I was younger, can you Waltz?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am, I can.”

“Then I’m in, let’s go.”

-------------------------------------

She loved the feeling of being back in her new hometown, Gotham. So when they pulled into the massive black building, she felt even more welcomed, security at the gates did ask ‘Who’s the girl?’ but Jason just explained it very easily,

“You know that date of mine that flipped off the press and you lot loved it?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” the man responded.

“You can call me Jason, you know that. But this is that girl.”

And they were let through the parking gates and into the underground parking system, they had to travel surprisingly far to Jason’s reserved spot in the lot, but the did get there before it hit AM. Once out of the car, Jason grabbed her hand and they ran into the building’s employees doors. It was a tight squeeze, but the feeling of Jason pressed so close to her sent chills down her spine. They went through many halls and reached the Ballroom, and entering it was like a dream for her.

Walls lined with intricate shapes and colours, but the colours never brought away from the stage at the far end from the door, the curtains seemed to redden with each step towards them, the 3, maybe 4 chandeliers hung above her like crystals in the ocean, it was amazing and beautiful. Checkered floorboards to give it a little bit of dimension, but it was the same colour as the main wall so your brain and eyes wouldn’t hurt after looking at it. It was stunningly beautiful and that’s what drew her in.

When he grabbed her hand and put on Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, pulling her close to his chest and slowly Waltzing her around the room, spinning her when it felt right for him to do. Neither of them worried about the sloppiness or how it looked to the naked eye because it was for them. no one got satisfaction like they did at that moment. And grabbing her for one last dip was Jason’s goal when the ending of the song hit, although out of breath and his face stuffed in her chest as they both panted, he did pull her up so they were face-to-face on the dancefloor that they wiped clean.

“Did I tell you that you look stunning, Y/N?”

“I think you mentioned it a few times, Jay,” she said, staring directly into his eyes.

“Well, I mean it.”

“And I’m going to mean this,” she paused, taking her hand and placing it on his cheek, “ The way your eyes are a green-blue tint makes me lost in them, they’re like a sea of this mind I find myself liking more and more every day,” she paused to put her other hand on his other cheek, “And the way your nose and cheek freckles frame them is amazing.”

And he went for it. Somehow when he pressed his lips into hers, it felt like they were meant to match, and they both opened their mouths to play the coveted game of tongue-war, but they didn’t play by the rules, it was soft and sweet but full of passion and love, not lust. His hands would travel to her waist and lightly grip her, while her hands would travel to his neck and drape around the back of it.

They pulled away at the same moment to take in air, something they had clearly been missing as they were connected, they both let out a small chuckle before she put her hands in his hair and went in for round 2.

This time it was hungrier, and they both played with the shapes of the other so much more as time went on, he would grab her ass and she would pull on his hair slightly before he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and moved one of her hands to the nape of his neck, this time, they would break for seconds only to start moving towards his office, which, conveniently, had a couch.

To say he threw her on that couch would be an understatement, he fucking thrust her on that couch and climbed on top of her, it was like 3 days of passion and lust combined themselves in a matter of minutes from their first kiss to them meeting on the couch. They both knew deep down that it couldn’t escalate further than this, especially at 1 in the morning, but time moves fast when you’re connecting in this way.

They finally broke after their passionate exchange and he fell to her side and began to spoon her, “Worth it,” he whispered.

“Worth what?” she asked.

“It was worth it to take a chance and defy my anxieties to ask you on that first date.”

“I don’t like a reality where you didn’t ask me on that date.”

“Neither do I, and I’m positive of that.”

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood fluff #batfam #batfamily #batbros #will harper dc #lian harper #dceu #dcu #dc

[omegatheunknown]

AEW Double or Nothing 2021

In which the spirit of WCW is alive in confusing and delightful ways and we are left to parse whether overbooking and extracurriculars are offset by having actually very good wrestling happening at the same time.

- Lessons learned from Revolution on the production side? Maybe just cool it on pyro, though the rappelling adventure in the Stadium Stampede showed some of that now-characteristic 'trust us it'll look better on TV' flair. Hot crowd tends to paper over most woes, and the crowd was pretty hot. My one gripe is that the casino theme is hanging around like yesterday's takeout containers. Nothing wrong with clinging to a theme, I just think it's time for season 2. My suggestion? Under the Sea.

*Pre-Card Serena Deeb (C) v Riho for the NWA Women's Championship (***1/2) - Serena Deeb's star has finally risen. She's a remarkably consistent technician and she can get a match out of anyone at this point. She's working at the level of Mercedes Martinez or Madison Eagles at this point, it's amazing that she was overlooked or considered fit only to be a coach for so long. With the NWA belt she has this new swagger, she's basically everything Tessa Blanchard might bring to the table with none of the downsides (Serena has a lot of friends and seems like a lovely person, even!) - Riho's back and here to stay. Her time in Stardom didn't do much for my evaluation of her, which is that there are many better wrestlers that would be better representatives of the joshi style and she's merely pretty good. - The match was very good. Serena showcased a champion's aggression against a sympathetic Riho, they really work well against each other, Deeb's technical prowess against Riho's flexibility led to a very dynamic finish.

*Main Card Hangman Adam Page v Brian Cage (***1/2) - Here the shenanigans start. Brian Cage is on Team Taz, Team Taz has nothing else much to do tonight, so why wouldn't Team Taz flex their muscles, bait us with HOOK, etc? (Because it would be nice to have some variety in the card in terms of a match where one competitor stands across from another competitor?) - Hangman is (checking notes) yeah, still over as fuck, as befits the Anxious Millennial Cowboy. Cage terrifies me, he's a child's drawing of a body builder. He do be very agile for a man of his immense musculature tho. They match up well, Page is biggish for a flyer, Cage loves to play catch. Nothing much to write home about, other than Hangman's beautiful moonsault to the floor and what was overall a very good curtain jerker. - Okay fine, I am curious about Cage's reluctance to lean on the goons, Starks can't come back soon enough.

The Young Bucks v Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston (***) - I will not be referring to Mox & Eddie as (The) Wild Things because it gives me 'he calls it the wacky line' flashbacks for some reason. - The Bucks have to cheat and abuse Rick Knox's attention span constantly to be on even footing with Mox & Eddie, which is a clever sort of thing that gets washed out by the appearance of LG and Karl Anderson, which again, is cool in a vacuum but was the story of the evening. - Pace was weird - repetitive in eliminating Eddie, then Mox fights back, failed hope spot, Bucks team up, Eddie saves x2/3 in a row. - Mox, unlike Cody (in so many ways,) will probably actually be taking some time off with Renee, which is the kind of thing I would prefer not to know in terms of booking, but they really uh, put him down on the canvas here, and it felt pretty finale-esque.

Casino Battle Royale (n/r, but on the balance pro) - Any changes to the theme of the PPV would likely include changing up the nonsense suit format of these largely joyless slogs. - Obviously anticipating a NJPW talent, or... I dunno, actually -- Lio Rush was a surprise. Got in a quick demonstration of his otherworldly quickness, and you know what, there's probably a fun place for him in AEW. He'll need some friends, of course, feel like Team Taz might fit his temperament. I wonder if he was aware of the Mark Henry news... - Christian does not need to win this kind of match to get a title shot, obviously, but that said it was super lovely to use him to give Jungle Boy the shine. Jungle Boy would be a license to print money if he was even as big as Hangman. - Could register some continued griping about how Penta is not getting his due in AEW but he also literally was dressed as the Joker so I'm low on sympathy on this one particular night.

Anthony Ogogo v Cody Rhodes (*) - I did not like this. It's hard for me to read jingoism as a face move to begin with, and Cody's was egregiously tone deaf and kinda silly yet delivered without a trace of irony because Cody doesn't do irony on purpose, ridiculous neck tattoo aside. - Great argument to be made that Ogogo just isn't experienced enough to be winning matches against Cody. But like, what are we doing here? Cody needs to take some time off, maybe. I thought that's what was happening when he had his mini feud with Penta that really just ended in quick decisive Cody win. I though maybe Cody was being turned when QT and The Factory snapped-- sure, they're a group of impotent player 2s, but Cody is an out of touch elitist with a callous and manipulative streak. Alas, also no. America #1. - Cody is approximately 8 times as tough as Billy Gunn based on his weathering of the one punch man. Match ran a bit long given how little there was to go on. Cody gigged? Quelle surprise. - Cody had the best match on the card like, 3 out of the first 4 AEW events or something, and that was all booking and storytelling. I do hope Cody follows Moxley's lead into a little sabbatical.

Miro (C) v Lance Archer for the TNT Championship (**1/2) - Card's hossiest hoss match, a quick burst reminiscent of a car wreck. Absolutely hit on what it should've hit on but a little slow moving considering it went all of 10 minutes. - I will not complain about Jake the Snake, who I love. And also the gimmick spot, with Miro very astutely yeeting what was definitely a snake in a bag (surely.) back down the tunnel.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD v Hikaru Shida (C) for the AEW Women's Championship (***) - Picked up a lot of steam toward the end but seemed a little toothless (heh) until the last five. - Shida 'deserved' some more time as champion in front of crowds but also it's time to let heel Britt reach her peak, I can't even imagine how obnoxious she can be as the champ, it's going to be great.

Sting & Darby Allin v Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky (***1/2) - Such is the power of STING that I feel like I might be underrating this match... I mean it was an okay match about very simply getting some revenge and the sixty year old man did a very subdued Code Red and a slightly less subdued dive. He's also Sting. They missed an opportunity in calling it the 'Scorpio' Death Drop, but the main takeaway here is you see something like this where it's The Icon and you start to understand why WWE trots out their legends to come out of incredibly still kick ass without bending their knees. - The difference, I guess, is that Sting is absolutely being used to build up Darby Allin, whereas it's not like the fed brought back Goldberg and his attendant aura to pump up... anyone but Goldberg?

Kenny Omega (C) v PAC v Orange Cassidy for the AEW World Championship (****) - Off the top I have to say I'm very sad that the rest of the Galaxy's Greatest Friends were seen only very briefly, nice of them to bring OC's backpack. - Also have to point out that PAC's promo featured one of my favourite jokes, that Kenny must be short for Kenneth as a sort of legal/birth name belonging to a professional wrestler. (See also: Samoa Joseph) - And Mr Cassidy certainly did try in this match, ragdoll sells and all. Kenneth and PAC are absurd talents who bring aerial, power and technical maneuvers in equal measure and OC is not doing any of those on the same level, but he picked his spots, showed his genre savvy and hung in there to the point that he wasn't just the fall guy. - The extracurriculars continue in a match that was already a little overboard for silliness due to asymmetry... I think if you're the Invisible Hand it would've made sense to save up all your tricks for this match, but who am I to question the golden goose? - Sure, Kenny and Don ran the classic heel manager interference spot and taking out the ref in desperation spot but having to take out the ref because PAC wouldn't break the hold is fun, as is the stupid/inspired sense in running the 'smash opponent with the belt' spot four times so as none of your heavy gold prizes feel left out. (I love that AAA Mega Championship, they weren't on TV so we get to see it?) - "Fuck You, Don," indeed.

The Inner Circle v The Pinnacle in 'Stadium Stampede II' (***1/2) - This one had to grow on me for two reasons, first that it's usually pretty unforgivable to co-opt the main event spot from the championship match, and second to law of diminishing returns on dumb gimmick matches. - But grow it did. There's a full on meat locker? Commentary will refer to a cardboard cut-out of Shahid Khan as Tony Khan's father (that's canon now,) and Jericho will lovingly pat it? Konnan happened to be the DJ at whatever night club there is a Jaguar Stadium? Spears surrounds himself dramatically with chairs and his hoisted by his own petard? - Ultimately it comes down to letting Sammy shine. His involvement with the Inner Circle has sometimes come at the cost of being able to showcase that prior to AEW he was an ascendant talent in PWG, on his way to Ricochet level feats of acrobatic excess. Still feel like Sammy could've/should've been the one tossed off the cage a few weeks ago, but even better is being the guy getting the pin in the ring.

#aew #aew double or nothing #kenny omega #jon moxley #sting #chris jericho #mjf #Sammy Guevara #orange cassidy #PAC #hikaru shida #britt baker #jungle boy #christian cage #darby allin #ethan page #scorpio sky #hangman page #brian cage #miro #lance archer #jake the snake #cody rhodes #anthony ogogo #eddie kingston #the young bucks #serena deeb #riho #wrestling reviews #aew spoilers

[etheralisi]

ᴛᴇ ɪɴᴠᴏᴄᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪʀᴛ ɪs ɢᴏɴᴇ

Perhaps she has hit the unlucky jackpot with getting Tamara as her roommate. What kind of reality did she wake up in to have to come home to a summoning circle?

Ao3

--------

 They were low on flour. 

 And it’s not as if they necessarily need it, per se. Not really, because hey, there’s a few snacks laying around, and their neighbor Marla’s built up a reputation from giving stuff out from bottomless pockets of sweets and chocolates that fits the picture book description of every five year old’s dreamscape to a t. 

 But Anthea’s hands are itching to do something, anything that isn’t homework, and as always, she’s drawn back into memories of large and steady palms pressing hers into dough, and the scent rising yeast in the oven — the furnace she’ll endearingly label as home. Even now, away on her studies, away from that little country kitchen, it’s that little piece of her past that’s trailing after her through the shopping aisle, Anthea mulling over the brands they have available.

 “You’re going shopping?” Her roommate had shouted from the couch when Anthea’s foot was half out of the door, holding it in place as she turned exasperatedly towards the other girl. “ Can you get me anything? Like, I dunno, gummy worms or something. Maybe some crisps. Oh, oh! See if they have any of those-” She snapped her fingers, a disappointed pout forming as she made a vagueish gesture. “Ah, you know. Those things.”

 “Sure, sure. Very helpful,” Anthea had said in drawl, fairly sure there are at least five possible contenders for what ‘those things’ may be from her past purchasing habits and, chances are, she’ll end up purchasing the wrong thing. So. You know. Helpful. “I’ll see what I can find, Tam. Pay me back later.”

 She’s gotten Tamara a good few bargains, and if she were any less of a person, Anthea would charge her full price for them and pocket a little extra cash. Like a certain someone — not naming names, but Tamara — had done a few months back in her ploy to ‘get rich quick’ after taking inspiration from a few life hack videos guaranteeing her ways to save money, though not as borderline fraudulent as she put into practice.

 So. Yes. What a wonderful roommate Anthea’s been blessed with. Truly an inspiration.

 (And to think that once upon so long ago, Anthea had been a sidestep and a jump from a breakdown, worrying if she’d be considered the weird roommate. The one people grumble about to friends over the phone.)

 After staring at the prices the flour is selling at — long enough she swears barcodes and prices are burned into her retinas, thin black lines and all — Anthea pulls out her phone, just long enough to send a text or two to Tamara. Just checking in, is all. Reminding Tamara of her half of the chores, and praying to every entity out there that she's not going to have to come back to their shared living space surrounded by firefighters because of a science project gone wrong. 

 (“Hey, I was just pulling apart my Magiorb to see how it ticked! I couldn’t have foreseen the fire. Or how couches aren’t fireproof. Uhh, what’s the cheapest fireproof furniture selling right now?”)

 Needless to say, there’s a very low bar in the terms of her expectations for her return. Very low bar. ‘World’s best limbo dancer can’t even hope to cross’ kind.

 Still. Somehow Tamara manages to bring a spade and tunnel right under this metaphorical bar until she reaches hell’s gates, because, well, Anthea’s pretty sure that everything you can find in a ‘ cultists starter kit to summoning demonic entities’ has been strewn across the room to the point that rather than baking, her hands are screaming for her to grab a fire extinguisher before house fire electric boogaloo can make a comeback. 

 Candles. So. Many. Candles. Over that little couch, over her bed. Why are they over her bed?

 Multiple pressing questions bulldoze their way down the fast-pass lane to the forefront of her mind, so pressing they may as well be full on slaps to the face like this whole nonsensical scene displayed out in front of her. Anthea hardly registers dropping the shopping bag, slipping from numb fingers now completely useless for pinching her awake from this living nightmare. 

  ‘Life hacks,' okay. Guess this extends to hacking away at their own lifespans too. It’s flashing before her eyes, disco party style, as they speak.

 “Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?” Anthea says with this tired sort of calm calm. Like the anger and frustration and fear are too big for her body and physically unable to manifest themselves into her tone. It’s just. Too much.

 “Your text told me to satanize the kitchen before you returned, and the other rooms if I could. Don’t worry, I did the kitchen too,” Tamara says like it’s a perfectly normal request and every bit entirely in character of Anthea to say, and not in the least worrisome to the point that Anthea doesn’t so much as want to think about the state of the kitchen. She knows the text. She knows what she sent. And yeah, pulling out her phone, Anthea’s now doubly sure that her request wasn’t nearly as demonic as Tamara has taken it.

 “I wrote sanitise, Tamara,” She corrects with not nearly enough stress on the name as she is feeling right now. Not even close. “Sanitise . And here you are with… with this pentagram…”

 “Summoning circle.” 

 “Oh, I’m sorry.” Anthea wants to laugh, really laugh, but she’s afraid she won’t be able to stomach something so bitter. “And how is that any better?”

 “I mean, it’s not the Satan on the line. I couldn’t get a hold of him.” And is it her, or does the slight pout of Tamara’s bottom lip make her look — dare she say it — disappointed. Demonic flames are no way to sanitise a home. Insta-cook it? Yes. But she just wants to bake. Not recreate hell’s kitchen.

 Anthea pinches or nose and lets loose a long, drawn out sigh as she tries to recall what optimism sounds like again when her half full glass has been shattered against a wall repetitively. 

 “Well that’s clear. If you had, I’d be coming back to nothing but the circle. Thank the stars you didn’t manage to summon him.”

 And by him, she means whatever alternative demon Tamara had turned to after her temporary setback. Anthea never really studied demons above the mandatory lessons where the overall takeaway was ‘ stay the heck away from demons unless you have a death wish for both you and your entire neighbourhood .’ And good old Mr Rivera had a knack for making even the most entertaining of things about as interesting as witnessing fifty coats of paint dry, the sound of his voice alone giving insomniacs the well needed rest they deserve, his droning on a magical cure-all. But she swears that the patterns ring some incredibly distant alarm bells amongst the fog of memories.

 “Ehhh…” Tamara hand wanders to the back of her neck, sheepish. “I mean...”

 Her stomach drops. Ten, twenty floors of an office building and into the plummeting void of ever present worry and why ever did she think leaving to buy flour would be a safe activity?

 “What,” Anthea says, fire encased in a cage of ice for a tone, “Did you do?”

 As if on queue — and perhaps so, because stage queues and flair have been attributed to their species for years — the answer makes itself known as the Dreambender himself, materialising into existence with a faint pop and waft of pine needles to mask the smoke.

 What.

  What the-

 “Oh, y̤͈̣̭̝͎̹o͖̝̻̲̤̪͇u͖͉̥͙’̥͖̟̗͍̮͡r̼̩̣̻e̞͔̝̜̹ ͔̺̘͈̰͎b̞̦͍͔͡a͖͜c͇̘k̛̮̙?̹̼͓̖͖̳̝ ” He grins, too many teeth. Far too many teeth. “And you’ve brought my gummy worms! Thanks!”

#Transcendence au #Bread fic #I know it's been a while but.... hi?

[suzukiblu]

2020 (Fanfiction) in Review

Whoo boy, kids, strap in for a long one. I think a fair chunk of these I just UPDATED this year as opposed to writing from scratch, for the record, but pretty sure that still counts. Also if any of this is inaccurate, I apologize, I just filtered on AO3 and did my best from there. 

Also-also, we are definitely gonna read-more this. We are DEFINITELY. There is . . . there is a whole lot of fic linked under here, haha. 

fics written this year: 

.

MCU

do you wanna be my sidekick, sidekick for ZepysGirl (Winterfalcon/Barbershop Quartet A/B/O)  

I think I know why the dog howls at the moon for ZepysGirl (Barbershop Quartet) 

I said you’re holding back, she said shut up and dance with me for belladonnaprice (Bucky/Peggy/Steve A/B/O) 

people were mean to you, but I always thought you were cool for beckyh2112 (Steve Rogers & Scott Summers, X-Men fusion) 

ready or not, here we go anyway for Zephrbabe (Wintershieldshock A/B/O) 

we can take it if you just take my hand for untamedphoenix (Wintershock A/B/O [sequel to don't wanna break your heart, wanna give your heart a break]) 

hey I just met you, and this is crazy for untamedphoenix, Zephrbabe (Wintershock A/B/O) 

I'd like to tell you everything I see for beckyh2112 (Darcy-centric, Slender Man fusion) 

pack up, don’t stray (oh say say say) for ZepysGirl (Natasha/harem A/B/O) 

.

YOUNG JUSTICE

you found me when no one else was looking for Okapi_chan (Superman & Superboy, background Supermartian) 

when I was a boy for seagrey (Supermartian) 

.

ORIGINAL

to the victor go the spoils for dancinbutterfly (OC/OC, A/B/O) 

.

ATLA

rumor has it for Prim_the_Amazing (Zuko-centric) 

you make a really good girl (as girls go) for Prim_the_Amazing (Azula/Yue) 

when it comes to luck you make your own for Prim_the_Amazing (Azula-centric) 

Avamorphs continuations (mostly gen, Animorphs fusion)

home is where you go when you’re alone for Redrikki

step one you say we need to talk for kaos_sparrow

do you believe that we are all innately good for Museflight

you are any way the wind blows for MirandaTam (Ty Lee-centric) 

does the pain feel better when I’m around? (Sokka/Zuko A/B/O)

push and pull (mostly gen)

storm (Bato/Hakoda/Kya) 

snow (Bato/Hakoda/Kya) 

spark (Ozai/Ursa)

Jetko Renaissance Week (Jet/Zuko)

that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out (Jet/Zuko)

give me back my heart you wingless thing (Jet/Zuko) 

our lives have come between us (Jet/Zuko) 

I’m not listening when you say goodbye (Jet/Zuko) 

if I were someone else would this all fall apart (Jet/Zuko) 

we are all walking each other home (Jet/Zuko)

we ain’t got much to say (before I let you get away) (Jet/Zuko) 

.

OVERWATCH

mad elephants continuations with dancinbutterfly (A/B/O)

bittersweet creature with dancinbutterfly (R76) 

tell me where have you been with dancinbutterfly (McCree & Mercy, McCree & Jack) 

I get by with a little help from my friends (McCree & Mercy)

if you don’t wanna talk about it with dancinbutterfly (R76)

the past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore with dancinbutterfly (McCree & Jack)

either you’re a blessing or a lesson (McCree/Genji, McCree/Hanzo, McCree/Genji/Hanzo) 

give me back my young brother, hard and furious (Hanzo & Genji) 

.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT

as long as we’re together, does it matter where we go? for beckyh2112 (Marius Felbane/Tehd Shoemaker) 

.

LEAGUE OF LEGENDS

a fever you can’t sweat out for beckyh2112 (Kegan Rodhe/Ryze) 

.

GOOD OMENS

anathema device, professional descendant and amateur book-burner (Anathema/Newt, Ineffable Husbands) 

.

STAR WARS

like my father before me for beckyh2112 (Luke & Vader)

.

LEVERAGE

every election is determined by the people who show up for Miss_Bubblegum (Hardison/Parker/Eliot)

.

THE WITCHER

hey, hey, hey, come pollinate me (Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer) 

I'll give them shelter like you've done for me (Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, A/B/O) 

it’s a long way forward (so trust in me) (Jaskier/Geralt) 

have you noticed I’ve been gone? (Jaskier/Geralt) 

I know words won’t be enough (Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer)

I could never find the right way to tell you for circa1220bce (Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer)

the courting jewelry A/B/O (Jaskier/Geralt A/B/O)

you wear nothing but you wear it so well (Jaskier/Geralt)

in your eyes, love, it glows for dancinbutterfly (Jaskier/Geralt) 

tied up and twisted the way I’d like to be for adptt12 (Jaskier/Geralt)

you are in my blood (Jaskier/Geralt) 

if you understand (Jaskier/Geralt)

wanna hold him, maybe I’ll just sing about it for Anoke (one-sided Jaskier/Geralt) 

can you help me unravel my latest mistake (Jaskier/Geralt)

yeah you need someone to sing you to sleep for ragequilt (Jaskier/Geralt) 

you must be new I guess, at least you’re new to me for Squiggly_lines (Jaskier/Geralt) 

best friends means you get what you deserve for Prim_the_Amazing (Jaskier & Geralt) 

it takes some time to get anything right for spinningjenny (Jaskier/Geralt)

I’m the plans that you made (but fuck all your plans, I’m bored) for Prim_the_Amazing (Jaskier/Geralt A/B/O) 

whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about for Prim_the_Amazing (Geralt/Yennefer, Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer) 

make it easy (Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer) 

you met me at the perfect time for Prim_the_Amazing (Jaskier/Geralt, Jaskier/Melitele) 

the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid for Prim_the_Amazing (Jaskier/Geralt, Geralt/Yennefer, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer)

some people talk to animals; not many listen, though for Prim_the_Amazing (Jaskier/Geralt) 

.

Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing, during a year more focused on survival than perhaps any other: Oh my god, I wrote so fucking much, hahaha. Like daaaang, self. I almost wanna add up the word count and see what it is but I’m not patient enough to sort it all out, hah. 

.

Most surprising fic you wrote this year: . . . hmmm, probably “you make a really good girl (as girls go)”. That one’s gotten a REALLY good reception that I was REALLY not expecting and I continue to get people who are hype for more of it swinging by to say so. 

.

How you grew as a writer this year: I got faster, I think, and less obsessed with perfectionism/fussing around on the details. Also I continued to be ever-more shamelessly id-driven in my writing, my true ultimate goal as a writer. 

.

What’s coming in 2021: God if I know, you guys. God if I know. Hopefully more Push and Pull and Avamorphs; maybe a little bit more “I’ll give them shelter” and handmaiden!Anakin; MAYBE even the end of Clay Kids. This is all wild, wild guessing, though, because lbr, I write exclusively based on a) what other people ask for and b) whatever random bout of inspiration has struck me at the time. There is very little predicting what will result from this combination. 

.

tagging: @asukaskerian, @darkpuck, @beckyh2112, and anyone else who wants to play. 

#meme #a/b/o #not sfw #rinfic

[itsclydebitches]

Welcome back, everyone! Starting here in Chapter Six these recaps are doing double duty with my latest attempt at completing National Novel Writing Month. Granted, this isn’t a novel and yes, I technically started this project well before November, but there’s no way I’d manage 50,000 words of fiction in 2020, so I’m hoping to hit that with these recaps instead. You all get semi-frequent updates and I may get to finally say I completed this challenge! That’s a win-win as far as I’m concerned.

Quick reminder: new teams, CFVY was separated, everything is awful. There, done. Seventy-five pages in we’ve come back to Velvet’s point of view as she and the other students are carted off in airbuses. She’s experiencing the “same shock and dismay” that she saw on Yatsuhashi’s face before they were separated, thus I’d like to re-emphasize last chapter’s argument that though shaking up the teams isn’t inherently a bad idea, doing it in this way while your students are recovering from/still involved in a war is… not so great for their mental health. Yeah, yeah, Remnant is a hard place and these kids experience traumatic events on the weekly, but still. There’s a fine line between preparing students for that kind of life and simply traumatizing them further, because this is a kind of trauma when the teams so heavily rely on one another - fill every aspect of one another’s lives: friend, colleague, family, teacher, student, leader, follower, romantic partner - and you’re now uprooting them with no warning. Whether or not new teams actually happen, the students think they are and that’s messing with their heads. Basically they’re just:

This problem is highlighted when we get confirmation of what I stated last time: the teams aren’t merely colleagues turned friends, but family. These fighters have got all their emotional eggs in one basket. Velvet goes so far as to imply that she loves her team more than her parents, with the logic being that they (her parents) “never talked to each other anymore.” So… if Coco and Yatsuhashi stopped talking would that undermine your love for each of them as individuals? I get what the overall takeaway is - divorce is a nasty business and can leave lasting scars on kids caught in the middle, to say nothing of the fact that, as a young adult, Velvet is poised to start creating a family by choice, not blood - but it’s still an odd way to phrase the issue. Here we have another instance of me picking up on implications due to RWBY, the franchise’s, overall themes. When you’ve got a story so thoroughly touting a teens vs. adults mentality, having Velvet mentally reject her parents for her team reads differently than it otherwise would. Chock that onto the pile that already includes things like, ‘Ruby denies that Qrow ever helped her’ and ‘Yang is no longer a part of grieving for Summer’ and ‘Weiss seems to have forgotten all that Klein did for her.’ There’s a lot of uncomfortable details attached to our heroes and how they see the adults in their lives, parents included.

Velvet doesn’t get to worry for long though. A much happier voice sounds across the airbus and she spots Sun, classically hanging from his tail. Instead of hearing more about her fears we segue into - you guessed it - Sun bashing. The first thought to pop into her head is that Sun “wasn’t with the rest of his team, but knowing Sun, that might have been his decision.”

...Velvet, you just tried desperately to stay with your own team and were (somehow) swept away by the apparently overwhelming crowed (still ridiculous imo). But if you didn’t manage this, what makes you think Sun had a chance? Why is his separation suddenly a potential choice when yours was presented as nothing of the sort? That is some real insistence on thinking the worst of him. I dragged Sun for abandoning his team in Volume 4 because that was abandonment. It was a choice worthy of criticism. This? This was outside of his control and Velvet knows it.

Sun saw her, smiled, and waved. Velvet looked away.

Nice, Velvet.

He comes over anyway and (kindly!) asks if she’s okay. Velvet says no, specifically because “Yatsu and I were separated.” Here we have another example of how close the partners get even within each team. Blake and Yang are inseparable. Ruby talks to Weiss more than her sister (and the concept of her talking to Blake in any meaningfully way is hilarious at this point). Now, despite being separated from her entire team - everyone is in the same awful boat - Velvet frames the situation as just being separated from Yatsuhashi. Later she repeats, “Well, I still want to try to find Yatsu.” So would it be a disappointment to find Fox or Coco instead? It’s especially weird because in the main show we see Velvet and Coco interacting the most. I actually had to look up who Velvet’s partner was because I just assumed our two girls were a duo. Apparently not. I’m not really into the CFVY side of the fandom, but I imagine there’s a substantial ship community for these two based solely on how Velvet embraces RWBY partnerships in this book, outside of the always popular Velvet/Coco, of course.

That’s admittedly a ship I can get behind. 

After Velvet unloads all her worries “Sun stared ahead, like he couldn’t quite manage to feel bad.” Attention, readers, this is an important lesson coming up! In fandom spaces I often see people analyzing novels (and other print media/visual media with narration) without taking into consideration the perspective. Unless we’ve got an omniscient perspective we need to take into account that our narrator might, simply put, be wrong (and even then, omniscient unreliable narrators are a popular choice). Often I see readers taking a characters’ thoughts - and words - at face value, which is understandable given that we’re meant to emotionally connect with them, but we have to keep in mind that this is their interpretation of events. We see the story through their eyes, how they perceive the world, but their perception of the world may not be accurate or, at the very least, is open to further interpretation. Sometimes this is used in an obvious, plot-driven manner - there’s a surprise twist for the reader, made possible because our protagonist was likewise kept in the dark - but it applies to our reading of more casual interactions too. This is a good example. Just because Velvet says Sun looks “like he couldn’t quite manage to feel bad” doesn’t mean that’s actually how Sun feels. As we’ve just re-established, Velvet is inclined to think the worst of Sun, or at least consider the worst as a distinct possibility. So if we’re asking the question, “Is Velvet’s perspective accurate to reality here?” weighing her previous assumptions against actions like Sun smiling, waving, and asking how she’s doing, AKA caring about her situation… I’d say no, it’s likely not.

At least she doesn’t outright accuse him of anything. Given that he’s not privy to these insulting thoughts, Sun chatters on about the test. He thinks it “isn’t a bad idea” because, as established, a lot of students lost teammates and are having trouble settling into Shade while still trying to live the life they had at Beacon. Changing the teams could be a “chance to really commit to our new school and our training, and learn from one another in a new way.” That’s what I think!

“Right… Or maybe some of us burned bridges with our team and might be looking for an easy way to avoid fixing those relationships.”

Velvet what the actual fuck. Can our cast NOT be assholes for five minutes??

Sun goes red at the accusation and calls her out on being harsh. “Tough love” Velvet calls it. Okay, no. Tough love is reserved for people you’re actually friends with and is meant to have them face a harsh reality they might be avoiding. Sun is avoiding an overt apology with his team, but we (and Velvet) have been given no indication that his thoughts on the test are a smokescreen to hide ulterior motives, which is what she’s talking about here. Sun clearly wants to make up with his team, he’s just struggling to accept what needs to be done to do that. Tough love would have been Velvet encouraging Sun to use this separation to reflect on what his team means to him and then, regardless of whether they end up back together, apologizing for how he unintentionally hurt them. Not… this. Plus, again, Velvet hasn’t exactly been friendly lately. She has little ground for dishing out “tough love.” You need established “love” before the “tough” part.  

In addition, she’s not listening to what Sun’s saying. “If they want us prepared for an attack, breaking up teams sounds counterproductive.” When did Sun mention anything about an attack? That’s your assumption of what’s going down based on the illegal investigation you’ve been assisting with. Sun just said that changing the teams would provide some of them with a much needed clean slate, which is true. Just because that’s not what Velvet needs doesn’t mean it’s not useful for others. As she eventually acknowledges, they can get too comfortable in the roles they’ve been playing.

We get her line about wanting to find Yatsuhashi followed by, “Sun, you do whatever you want. That’s what you’re good at.” Velvet seriously? Then minutes later she’s hoping Sun sticks close to her if he can. Real talk: everyone deserves better than this. ‘Friends’ who constantly act like your presence is a burden, insult you whenever they get the chance, insist such insults are for your benefit (it’s just tough love), but then turn around and play nice when you have something they want... those aren’t friends. Note that Velvet is - both privately and overtly - mean to Sun while he’s just existing in the airbus, going through the same horrible test as her, trying to be nice, and holding an otherwise civil conversation. While trapped on the bus with nowhere to go, Sun is a nuisance despite his best efforts. When the floor suddenly opens up and Velvet is terrified of falling and surviving on her own though, then his presence is desirable. That’s not friendship and in another story I’d praise the author(s) for writing a compelling move from shaky acquaintances to a strong bond… but I’m honestly not sure that the relationship (any of them, really) will improve. Far as I can gather, Myers thinks this is friendship.

So Velvet accuses Sun of always and forever hurting others in his pursuit of doing what pleases him (after checking in on Velvet… literally minutes ago…) which is right around when Scarlet decides to make himself known. He agrees with Sun’s belief that this test will be harder than they assume: “I think you’re right… For a change.” Everything comes with a caveat. Apparently Scarlet has been listening in the whole time, but somehow manages to turn that into an insult as well with “I’ve been standing five feet away. Maybe I’m ready for a new team, too.” Wait, is the implication that Scarlet is further annoyed because Sun didn’t notice him? Do you all have ANY idea how many times a friend has stood right next to me and I didn’t notice them because I was caught up in something like work, a show… a conversation? I’m oblivious af. I get that Sun has things to make up for but at the very least these characters could keep their criticisms to what he’s actually done wrong, not crazy reaches like, ‘Sun probably abandoned his team when everyone was separated’ or ‘Sun was busy talking to Velvet and didn’t notice me eavesdropping, so I guess I don’t mean much to him, huh.’ I’m constantly torn between the presumed realism of this writing - people are unfair in their criticisms, teens do hold unsubstantiated grudges - and acknowledging that Myers seems to have felt confident writing (1) personality and just gave it to everyone. Velvet privately becomes as critical as Coco, who is as vocal as Fox, who agrees with Yatsuhashi, who echoes Sun’s team, and Sun himself often throws that attitude right back. Round and round we go. 

As one might imagine, the three begin theorizing about what the test itself will be like. Usually Shade sets up initiation just like this. Students are transported in windowless airbuses, dumped in the desert, and told to find their way home. I’m interested in the bit about how teams are made up not only based on arrival, but also “the manner in which [the students] survived.” It definitely lends support to the assumption I’ve always had that the teams can really be random. At least not entirely. There’s strategy on the part of the instructors, thinking through aspects like, ‘Well, these two students used their wits in this manner so they’d pair together nicely.’ Or the reverse, ‘Put together the strategist with the student in love with blunt force, let them balance each other out.’ I certainly don’t think that Ozpin formed teams based solely on who ran into each other first. Not only do we have agency on the part of the students (Weiss leaves Ruby, then Jaune, then goes back to Ruby), as well as the fact that two sets of partners had to be paired together someway, but Ozpin was also carefully watching their whole performance. If the only thing that mattered was getting back to Beacon with a chess piece, why bother examining their choices? Shade appears to employ a similar setup of careful decisions portrayed as randomness, which would make sense given that Ozpin set up these schools. Though all the headmasters may not realize it (is Theodore a part of the inner circle?), or perhaps don’t agree with his methods overall, Ozpin’s influence is undeniably evident in each institution we’ve seen. 

The only difference between normal initiation and this test seems to be that the students have to find a gold figurine this time around. Though as our trio points out, there’s likely to be other differences as well, otherwise the original Shade students would have a pretty significant advantage. 

During all this Velvet remanences about Beacon’s initiation and we learn that Ozpin does, apparently, use the whole ‘Throw you into the woods where you’ll find some relic’ setup each year, as Velvet remembers being “thrown into the air” during hers. She also hits on another concern that hadn’t crossed my mind until now: what if a team includes a new student alongside the “more vocal in harassing recruits from Beacon and Haven?” It might do the Shade students some good to get to know the newcomers, but it’s not the newcomers’ responsibility to teach them some basic respect and kindness. 

During all this Rumpole, via a screen, has been explaining how the test will go down. Her little info session concludes with her telling them to “Prepare for drop-off… See you back home soon.” I really like that she used the term “home” here. It says something about how she views the school and her students’ place in it, despite the tough attitude and tougher culture of Vacuo.

Turns out, when Rumpole said drop-off she meant that literally. The floor opens up and we get a mix of some students panicking while others just happily jump out. 

Yeet. 

Like I said, Ozpin’s influence. 

I didn’t understand the panic initially - aren’t landing strategies a basic part of huntsmen training, something everyone (except Jaune) is expected to know coming into a school? Isn’t it at least partway through the year when everyone, even firsties, has had practice at this? - until I remembered Rumpole’s comment about how she hoped everyone remembered to bring their weapons this morning.

…that’s one hell of a lesson. Let’s break this down for a second. Yes, everyone at Shade is expected to carry their weapons at all times, but the meeting that started all this was early in the morning and, far as I can tell, entirely unexpected. ‘Supposed to’ is not the same thing as ‘will,’ especially when one is dealing with college-equivalent students who are still figuring expectations out. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that someone did leave their weapon behind. So now what? These buses are thousands of feet in the air, dropping students randomly as they jump/fall. If a student did need help how in the world would a professor assist them? Do they just expect other students to help like Pyrrha did for Jaune? It’s possible given that in a moment Octavia will help Velvet despite seeming to dislike her... but that’s not something I’d want to bank on. Whether a student forgot their weapon or has a weapon unsuited to a landing strategy, they’re going to die from this fall. Yeah, yeah, the test is supposed to be deadly, but what’s there to learn then? You’re dead! The lesson ‘Don’t forget your weapon’ or ‘Find a weapon more suited to landing strategies’ will never stick unless there are contingency plans in place to ensure that students survive their first mistakes. 

It just all seems kind of flimsy, like everything works out because the plot says it must, not because I believe this in-world setup is geared towards keeping students alive and teaching them how to survive this world. (The reverse of the story conveniently not killing civilians off during a major grimm attack.) If landing strategies are so crucial to a huntsmen’s work - and we see them a lot - why are students allowed to have weapons like Yatsuhashi’s Fulcrum that, far as I can see, provide you with no way of slowing your descent? What if you don’t have a suitable semblance? Or it hasn’t been unlocked yet? What if your weapon would work, theoretically, but you haven’t taken any pictures of other suitable weapons lately (Velvet)? What if you never figure out that there are parachutes on the ship? Unless the instructors have a secret way of saving someone from getting splattered, this seems like a test rife with deadly mistakes, not just encounters. Why not teach your students to carry mini high-tech parachutes on their belts, with weapons and semblances as backups? Incorporate Atlas tech into standard schooling, then give us huntsmen who suddenly have it taken away with the embargo, resulting in a lot of problems. I mean, the students are legit scared in this scene, Velvet included. Having them face deadly grimm is one thing, but why test the odds with a thousand foot plunge when there’s absolutely no reason to? Far as I can see, the schooling isn’t built around ensuring they survive a fall like this - nothing like weapon requirements, or carrying additional gear if you semblance is something like Ren’s - which means making the fall a part of the test itself is... not great. 

Which, to be clear, is the fault of the author(s) and how much thought (or not) they’ve put into their fictional school, not the fictional school’s fault because it’s, you know, fictional. Basically, the world building in this series kind of drives me nuts, in case you haven’t noticed lol. 

Velvet does find the parachutes, oh so conveniently, and at least has the decency to give one to Sun. Also yeah, kudos for thinking to search for them in the first place. I do like the ‘survival is the only thing that counts’ theme. Cheating, lying, and the like is great when it’s used because the odds are already stacked against you. We get her agreement to try and stick close because remember, there’s nothing like a dangerous situation to remind you to be decent towards someone else. As Velvet magnanimously thinks, “Being with Sun would be better than being alone.”

Okay. Low bar, but okay. 

So they fall and we get to hear a fair bit about Vacuo’s history based on what Velvet remembers about each landmark from history class. Honestly, I’m impressed at her recall. I wouldn’t be able to dredge up class notes while falling through the air. We get an abandoned city previously hidden by sand and the somewhat confusing sentence, “These were all that was left of the underground mines, the Drylands, the site of the old Paradise Oasis, long since dried up following Dust mining and the Great War.” Are these three separate places among the rock-less area pockmarked with holes? Or is this a single area of underground mines, called the Drylands (for some reason?), that includes the contrasting place called Paradise Oasis? I’m not sure. The takeaway though is that Velvet hopes Coco isn’t heading to that ambiguously named place because she’s incredibly claustrophobic.

What I find the most informative in all this is the description of the quarries as “physical manifestations of the wounds that still ran deep in the people of Vacuo.” The overall issue of outsiders coming into Vacuo, draining it of its resources, and then taking it back to their own kingdoms (while leaving their trash behind) is the sort of theme significant to our own lives and worthy of examination in fiction… Not saying that RWBY necessarily handles this theme well - especially given the messy conflation of that generational trauma and the awful treatment of any ‘outsider’ who wanders into the kingdom - but I do appreciate when I can see the series trying. Even if it fails, effort is (to an extent) still worth acknowledgement.

What I’m less inclined to praise is the strange follow up of “maybe that was why Rumpole was sending students there.” …what does this mean? Velvet just told us the quarries are the “wounds” of Vacuo, so are they being sent there because they’re dangerous? Because huntsmen will somehow fix this?? Neither of these make sense but I literally don’t know what point Myers is trying to make… which happens a lot. Again, there’s a whole lot of wise-sounding statements in this novel that, at the end of the day, mean very little - if anything at all.

Velvet eventually lands, nearly getting pulled into one of the openings when she can’t get out of her parachute. She’s saved at the last moment by Octavia Ember, a member of Team NDGO. You know, “One of the people she least wanted to run into.” We all knew the moment Velvet worried about running into one of the crueler members of Shade that it would happen.

Their conversation is filled with heartfelt gratitude and riveting greetings:

“Thanks?” Velvet said.

“Whatever.” Octavia sheathed her blade and started walking away. That was more like it.

What is wrong with all of these people? My kingdom for a kind, enthusiastic, non-team exchange!

You know the ‘enemies forced to work together’ conflict couldn’t end there though (a trope I normally love and would likely love here except having Octavia be another stereotypical mean girl was the least innovative choice possible). She and Velvet end up heading towards the same quarry, simply because there’s nothing else for miles around. Velvet displays some quick thinking when she explains that the instructors likely hid the relics in there to ensure they weren’t forever hidden under the sand. Velvet, unlike Yatsuhashi, has also realized that there’s more to the test than just their fighting skills. They’ll be graded on everything, “Including how we treat each other.” I’m always appreciative of characters who use their brains as much as their brawns.

Perhaps that not-so-subtle nudge resonated with Octavia because she opens up a bit. By this I mean she moves from “Whatever” to telling Velvet the traumatizing story of how she lost a third of her clan to Blind Worms in one of these quarries. Okay. That’s a complete 180, but I’ll take it. Velvet continues to have supposed insights about the Vacuans like, ‘Maybe they don’t cry because that’s a waste of water?’ and ‘Maybe they hate everyone on principal because of the past?’ and ‘I guess bullying is just something you’re supposed to survive out here’ (um… no.) In Velvet - and Myers’ - defense she acknowledges that none of these explanations excuse their actions… but I’m not so sure it explains them either. A few chapters ago we were hammering home how teens don’t have an emotional connection to their past, despite it not actually being that long ago (recall Coco’s conversation with Rumpole in class), but now we’re supposed to believe that all of these teens reject newcomers because of stuff that happened during a war they weren’t alive for? Also, I’m neither a doctor nor an anthropologist, but the concept of a desert people refusing to cry because it’s a waste of water - especially in an otherwise advanced civilization - seems suspect. I can buy someone being unable to cry because they’re currently dehydrated, but a whole culture denying themselves this outlet when most of them don’t actually lack water anymore is odd.

Granted, culture isn’t always logical. Case in point: memes. So let’s give that a pass. 

However, we’ve still got the issue of continuity across paragraphs. First Velvet is smug because she’s a better climber than Octavia. Then Octavia is ahead and supposedly annoyed that Velvet was slowing her down. It’s unclear when, or if, they’ve finished climbing at this point and a second later Octavia is climbing a tree - why didn’t Velvet do that? Really, I lay little blips like this at the feet of the editors, not the author(s), simply because as an author I know precisely how easy it is to lose track of every detail you’ve introduced. It becomes obvious to the reader when things don’t quite align, but it will often go unnoticed by the writer - like typos. (RIP my own work.) Which is why you need that second perspective to not just catch the big mistakes, but tweak all the smaller ones too. RWBY is now a part of WarnerMedia and Before the Dawn was published by Scholastic. There’s a standard here I don’t think either is meeting.

As said previously though, Octavia climbs a tree because Velvet - with faunus eyes - spotted a trinket the others had missed. Octavia falls, Velvet catches her, and a whole swarm of Ravagers show up, which seem to be a bat-like grimm. Nice. My gothic, vampire, Stellaluna loving ass can get behind that. 

Behold: my childhood.

They make a run for it and we - finally - get some solidarity as Octavia admits that the relic is technically Velvet’s and Velvet wonders in turn if they can share it. I offered my kingdom for a kind exchange and I got it! Hurray! More importantly, apparently that is an option because the airbus coordinates have shown up on both their scrolls. I’m not going to pretend that I understand how that tech works, but that’s a level of world building we don’t actually need. Not unless the hypothetical of students piggybacking on another’s relic is a part of the evaluation. 

I love that Velvet used her camera flash to scare off the Ravager in their way. That’s a fantastic twist on the ‘Velvet will use her semblance and impress Octavia’ expectation as well as a great way to demonstrate that she is a formidable fighter, capable of paying attention to her situation/surroundings and responding accordingly.

There are more Ravagers though, incoming Blind Worms, an avalanche… and the airbus. A narrow escape indeed. Octavia drops that attention-catching, “Thank the Brothers” as they reach safety.

Going back to my earlier point about Shade seeming happy to kill its kids, apparently Velvet and Octavia were the last to reach the bus and Sun told the pilot to wait. That says good things about Sun, but horrible things about the test. If Sun hadn’t insisted on staying would Octavia and Velvet have had a way out? Why in the world wasn’t the pilot told to wait longer?? The whole timeline is confusing, with Sun and Velvet leaving the airship only a short time after everyone else, but it looks like the whole group was way ahead of them (the quarry is empty of both relics and people by the time they arrive), except Sun managed to get super far ahead of Velvet somehow, and their pilot was apparently working under an unspoken deadline… I’m just taking information at face value because if you try to piece it all together, good luck.

Also sorry, but I straight up laughed at Sun’s “You woke up the Ravagers. And you lived to tell the tale.” That is so unnecessarily dramatic. Oh no. Not the Ravagers. Literally the first thing I thought of was some B horror movie like

Coming only to a streaming service near your couch because we’re still living through a pandemic. Wear your masks, friends!

Back to this very entertaining reaction. Sun, you and Velvet have both taken out Atlesian knights, you fought a gigantic sea monster with Blake, and Velvet just bypassed a nest of Ravagers with a simple bright light. If RWBY is going to randomly try and make the grimm threatening again, do it with stuff that actually reads as a significant threat to these fighters. After you’ve got your first years blasting through (Yang) and riding (Nora) bear grimm at initiation, a couple of bat grimm just doesn’t cut it. 

Moving on, Velvet’s iffy perspective rears its head once more as she thinks, “What if Sun had passed by the trinket in the tree, knowing it would be too dangerous to retrieve it? She and Octavia had not had that luxury.”

There’s a lot wrong with this theory: 

How do you know Sun has better vision, even as a fellow faunus? As Volume 7’s Tyrian attack brought to the surface, supposedly not every faunus has that advantage.

Velvet straight up says that she wasn’t able to see the Ravagers, otherwise she would have warned Octavia about them. The whole point is that they startled her and she fell. So what, Sun not only has faunus vision but better than Velvet’s? (Do monkeys have better vision than rabbits? I have no idea, but this is the kind of stuff I would google if I wanted to potentially draw attention to it in my book). 

If that trinket was too dangerous to retrieve, why did the instructors put it there in the first place? Fox mentioned things being unfair with his lack of sight, but that’s a pretty big difference: easy grabs in a supposedly abandoned quarry vs. a grab that wakes up the whole nest of grimm.

“She and Octavia had not had that luxury” why does this sound like another dig at Sun? Like it’s worth criticizing that he… got there first? Got lucky with the relics closer to the floor? Probably because everything is a dig at Sun in this book, including Velvet’s surprise that he might have “respect in his eyes.” Velvet! He was just asking about you, made the bus wait, and has always worn his heart on his sleeve! Sun’s respect/care is not in question, only how he chooses (at times) to display it.

Not that the story seems to get that. We can’t work through Sun’s questionable choices if we’re stuck in this never ending loop of ‘He’s so annoying/incompetent/willfully cruel’ into ‘Hark! is that a positive trait I see?’ and then back to ‘Never mind he’s awful.’ Maybe Velvet’s pride at his reaction to the Ravagers will finally move things forward.

Which is where we leave off. The airbus scares off the other Ravagers with its guns, the group heads back towards Shade (or a second part of the test? That did feel too much like a normal initiation to be fair), and Velvet ends with the equally dramatic line, “The initiation ritual had been hard and almost deadly, and even worse was yet to come: the assignment of the new teams.”

I have to say though, that is the most teen-accurate thought I’ve seen so far. An 18 year old would be more scared of their team social life than getting eaten by a monster lol.

On that note, drop a comment or an ask if you feel like being social yourself and I’ll see you during the next burst of NaNoWriMo energy! 💜

[ Ko-Fi ]

#rwby #BTD Recaps #Before the Dawn #mymetas

[wide-eyedscottishlass]

Scarlett and the Professor - a lazy Sunday morn

[continued from]

moodboard by @strangelock221b​ 💙  

Scarlett flipped onto her side, instinctively turning away from the sunlight filtering through her closed lids. The silk sheets cocooning her were slick and cool, but the sun had warmed her face enough to awaken her senses. In moments more, she breathed deeply--taking in the heady scent of all that sex, that astonishing, wicked, glorious sex--and gave out a purr of satisfaction. She was smiling before she even opened her eyes, remembering herself--happy and sappy and deeply in love.

“Ah, at last,” he chuckled; she heard not only his genuine amusement, but the crinkle and flip of some large pieces of paper. Newsprint? A newspaper than. Scarlett smiled into her pillow; of course he would prefer paper over the digital version. True hedonist that he was, Hennessy would always opt for the most tactile sensations.

“There’s my little sleepyhead,” he added with true affection, so that she popped one eye open and then the other. Hennessy sat up against the headboard, a couple of pillows propped behind him, bare to the waist. His long legs stretched out before him, covered in a pair of dark grey, silk pajama bottoms, and his feet were also bare. Scarlett sighed softly; when even his feet appeared to her as sexy, it must certainly mean there was no saving her from the beautiful fall she was taking.

She reached up to check the tangle of her hair, blinking at the strong sunlight filling the room. “Mmmmm...why didn’t you wake me?”

He flicked the top of his newspaper down to the crease, favoring her above his reading glasses with indulgent mirth. “My darling Scarlett, you needed your rest, of course. My fault too, as you were rather spent by the time I finally let you sleep uninterrupted.” His grin was smug, yet still she saw his genuine fondness for her, weakening her heart all over again.

“I’m not spent now,” she urged him, shimmying close enough to lay her hand on his bicep.

He pursed his lips, his eyes widening, “Well, haven’t you learned your lessons well! And now looking for extra credit...”

Scarlett batted her lashes and replied breathily, “Extra, extra...Hennessy.” She had already come to love how he looked when she dared call him by name.

His mouth dropped open as if to respond, but he was interrupted by the loud buzz of a text alert on his mobile. “Hold that thought, little lamb,” he commanded, “And I promise to give you all the attention you so deserve.” Hennessy took a perfunctory look at his phone, them jumped up from the bed, taking giant strides to the door. He turned back her way, eyeing her as though he saw right through the sheets, while his smile grew salacious. “Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm! You could almost make a man forgo his other hungers, Scarlett. But we don’t want out breakfast growing cold now, do we?” He dashed from the room.

Perplexed and a bit stymied--god, how perfectly divine he’d looked framed in the doorway, all firm, warm flesh, so srtong and long and lanky, that all she wanted was to mold her body to his as she lay beneath him--Scarlett turned onto her back and gave a long, languorous stretch, waiting upon his return. She heard his heavy front doors close and then imagined him taking two steps at a time back up to his bedroom suite. The mouthwatering scents of fresh pancakes and bacon preceded him into the room.

“Voila! Here’s my version of breakfast in bed.” Hennessy seemed very pleased with himself and with surprising her, crossing to the bed and setting down two plastic sacks filled with cardboard containers. He put a smaller paper bag on his bedside table, which turned out to hold coffee and orange juice.

Scarlett’s stomach had begun to rumble the moment the aromas reminded her that she hadn’t eaten anything in over twelve hours. She scooted up against the headboard, keeping the sheet decorously across her breasts, while Hennessy took his place beside her and began to dole out their meal. “There’s bacon and sausage, darling. Wasn’t sure you had a preference, but there’s more than enough of both.” There was plenty of syrup and butter, too, and a container of sliced and sugared strawberries, along with whipped cream, to top the pancakes. And a heaping serving of cheese-topped scrambled eggs.

She tucked in with relish, and Hennessy laughed good-naturedly at the evidence of her hunger, the smile lines beside his pale blue eyes (Scarlett sighed inwardly; they always look so astonishingly pale in strong sunlight!) grown dearer than ever to her heart. Since the moment that he’d taken her in full, she’d already stopped herself from saying that she loved him a half dozen times--and he was making it very hard for her to continue to suppress that urge.

“What?” He asked, around a forkful of pancakes and eggs. He must’ve have seen a flicker of that thought cross her face.

“Oh...ah...nothing...really,” she fibbed, lowering her eyes so he wouldn’t read more, “I’d been hoping to make some scones this morning---but this...this is so much better...”

“It is, isn’t it!” He hummed a jaunty tune as he set himself a second serving of everything. “But please don’t be too disappointed about your scones, love. The morning paper and breakfast takeaway in bed is a Sunday ritual I will never go without, come hell or high water.”

“Of course...” The danger of him guessing how soft she was for him seemed to have passed for the moment.

“But if it would make you happy, we can have them with tea this afternoon. Or failing that, another breakfast morning. Would that work for you?”

“Oh, yes,” she nodded, happier at the implication that there were further breakfasts together in their future, than for the promise of the scones themselves. “Whatever you want...darling.” His smile was pure sunshine as he leaned in and kissed her mouth, before returning to his meal.

After they broke their fast, he had her in the shower, amid a thick wall of steam created by the dual showerheads--taking her with such a stunning ferocity that he left her filled with speechless bliss, and legs shaking so badly that she had to lean on him for several minutes until she felt strong enough to support herself. Though he was both amused---his low rumbles of laughter at her very flattering reaction had echoed all around them---and highly satisfied, he also became the soft, solicitous lover in the aftermath, smoothing gentle hands upon her wet hair and scattering loving kisses on her face, murmuring endearments against her skin.

’My darling...my angel...my lovely, little lamb. My sweet, sweet Scarlett...’ Spurring her to ask herself: how can he see to my needs this way and still not know he owns my heart?

Why, he’d even stepped from the shower first--telling her to just hold on a tic--grabbing a thick, thirsty towel to swaddle her in before he wrapped one around himself, and then had guided her to sit on the padded vanity stool next to the long bathroom counter. Never having observed a grown man in his morning ablutions, Scarlett found herself fascinated watching him run gel through his thick, dark hair, trying to get it to behave as he preferred, and then lather up and shave. Shaving with meticulous care, the quiet scrape of the razor against his skin reminding her that this was all very real. That this complicated, brilliant, perpetual temptation of a man had welcomed her not only into his bed, but into the privacy of his home and the rhythm of his life. 

The air was soon rich with his scent--Bleu de Chanel--as he applied a generous dose of aftershave. When he grabbed his toothbrush, he turned to her with a grin, “I’m almost all set, love. Then you can have the room to yourself to do...whatever it is you do to keep yourself looking so...hmmm...scrumptious.”

Scarlett nodded, though she would have been just as content to simply watch her magnificent lover--her private Hennessy--in the domain which reflected exactly who he was, going about even his most ordinary tasks. Her heart was so entranced now that she wanted to memorize his every detail. 

He gave her another toothy grin, then strode over to deposit his towel in the hamper, casually revealing the full glory of the form she had come to worship. He flashed her a wink when he caught her staring-- she just couldn’t help herself, and odds were he knew that. “You might want to suit up, darling. It looks to be the perfect day for a swim.” Then he was out the door, leaving Scarlett to daydream her way through her own morning toilette, wondering what new lessons Hennessy might have in store for her. Eager to learn--and even more eager to please.

               ____________________________________________

Scarlett had plaited her damp hair into a Dutch braid, draped across her shoulder, hoping to keep her hair tidy if they did end up taking a swim. She slipped into a modest tankini with her denim capris over that, and then grabbed her rucksack before she headed downstairs. If Hennessy was busy--she’d noted he had taken his newspaper to wherever he’d gone off to--she had a bit of actual course work to do. Sketches for a study of the natural world, prep for an end of term project--a large, landscape painting in the artist’s choice of medium, along with a portfolio of drawings and any other work she did towards the completion of the final piece. She’d found the seeds of inspiration in Hennessy’s wild-grown garden, as well as in his serene shingle of private beach, and she was keen to make a start. 

She found him with his paper beneath the patio umbrella, with an iced pitcher of lemonade, one empty glass and one half-full, upon the wrought iron table. As he had advised her, he was clad in swim trunks and a matching, athletic fit surf tee. In blues and sea greens of course, the hues that not only dominated his casual color palette, but flattered him perfectly. 

Scarlett set her bag on one of the spare chairs, poured herself some lemonade and then topped off Hennessy’s glass. He thanked her before turning his attention back to the crossword puzzle he was working on. “You do them in pen?” she observed.

“Is there any other way?” he had narrowed his eyes while he was trying to work out a clue, rhythmically tapping his ball point pen on the glass table top. “Six letter word ending in k-a...an exclamation...hmmmmm...” 

She couldn’t resist chiming in, ‘eureka’ just as she began to set out her supplies, then pulled her sketchpad from her rucksack. 

“Eureka, indeed,” he chuckled, glancing over to watch her preparations. “And what’s this, little lambkin? Another hidden talent?” 

“Depends on what you would consider talent, Professor,” she stated modestly, “I draw a little, I paint a little. Always looking to improve.” She opened up to the middle of her sketchpad, several pages past the drawing she had indulged in the previous afternoon, meaning to avoid him catching sight of it. 

“And what sort of things give you inspiration, my dear? People, places...things, mayhap?” Hennessy’s curiosity had been piqued, and he was craning his neck to get at least a little peek. 

”Well, yes, of course,” she teased innocently, not ready to volunteer a thing, while setting the edge of her pencil onto the rough surface of the blank page. There was the scrape of chair legs dragged across the calypso coral stone beneath their feet as he drew nearer, and soon he’d made it impossible for her not to acknowledge that he was leaning in close, laying his hand on the back of her neck, toying with the few stray hairs that had escaped her braid. Scarlett turned her head slightly, just enough to see Hennessy from the corner of her eye, catching enough of him to recognize the mischievous glint in his. “What,” she asked quietly, realizing that she would accomplish nothing until she had at least humored him.

“Just curious, darling.” He ran a single finger across her bare shoulder and down her arm, a sure and pleasant distraction, softening her resolve. “I think you’d like to show me your work. Wouldn’t you, Scarlett?”

“I suppose,” she replied with a sigh, though she remained uneasy about how he would react to the liberty she had taken, of sketching him. 

“Always my good girl.” He brushed a quiet kiss upon her cheek and then rested his hand on the center of her back, waiting patiently as she flipped back to the opening page. 

“Some of these are incomplete,” she noted, “Mostly just for practice, or because I haven’t decided yet what other elements should be part of the composition.” Scarlett could feel his eyes study the page she had revealed, a very flawed study of the little cottage of her youth. “And of course, there’s a lot of trials and error.” 

“That’s home,” he observed, sounding more fascinated than such a simple thing usually allowed for. 

“Uh-huh.” Encouraged by that sign of his sincere interest, she turned a few pages more, where her work depicted rustic exteriors of her native Scotland, and several sketches of the village-side inlet that she would forever think of as her own. Next came several studies of a sunny, seaside bay, ringed to the beach’s edge with one and two story buildings set very close together. To the last of these, she’d chalked in traces of color--vivid blue for the water, pale pastels on random buildings--and had treated the sketch with a fixative to keep the chalk from rubbing off.

“These are lovely, Scarlett,” he exclaimed, absentmindedly massaging the stretch of skin between her shoulder blades. His touch felt blessedly cool on her sun warmed flesh.

“You needn’t sound so surprised, Professor,” she replied coyly, so that he chuckled and laid a kiss on her shoulder.

“I’m not, darling. Truly, I’m not.” He drew a deep breath, then added, “Though I’m curious about where these are from.”

Scarlett paused a moment, recalling those endless, sunny days and balmy, starlit nights. “They’re from my time in Mykonos, at the end of my gap year.”

“Clearly, you found the place enchanting, my dear. Why, it nearly leaps off the page!”

She watched his profile as he leaned in for a closer look. “Do you really think so?” How happy it made her to see his enthusiastic response!

“Absolutely,” he assured her, giving a low whistle of appreciation, “And if I had to guess, I’d say that you were at least a little bit in love with the place.”

“I...I was...” she breathed softly. And with a beautiful young man there. My dear Benedicktos.

Inevitably, the next series of sketches raised Hennessy’s curiosity even further. “And who’s this?” Scarlett heard a trace of judginess creep into his voice.

“Oh...um...an artist I met while I was there...” Artist, sculptor--and if only our stars had aligned properly, he would have been my first. My first lover.

“I see...” And surely Hennessy could see her true feelings for her Bene, pictured in the loving way she had drawn his lines and angles. One page was filled with thumbnail sketches of just his face in profile. She had worked a couple of those into larger versions, and chalked color onto them as well. They showed a thick, unruly crown of dark, windswept curls. Smooth, well tanned skin and a sensuous looking mouth. And eyes of pure sea green.

“I think you were at least a little bit in love with this boy, too,” he observed quietly, and he gave her a beat to respond, though she could not for the lump in her throat. “Weren’t you, Scarlett?”

She took a deep breath, gathering her composure as well as her wits; she would not share that golden time with Hennessy. Not yet, anyway. “I suppose I was, at least a little bit...but then, it’s easy to fall in love in a place like that...”

“I suppose it is, little lamb. And lucky boy he must’ve been.” To her wonder, his smile felt a little false. He couldn’t possibly be jealous, she told herself; doesn’t he realize I’m his completely? 

She tried to turn rapidly over the following pages, but Hennessy stayed her hand, determined to see the full story. Scarlett had draw Benedicktos sitting shirtless and cross-legged at the water’s edge. Standing and gazing out at sea, watching the sun set. Smiling vibrantly, cheeks creased with rows of dimples, while he appeared to be laughing. The last sketch showed him shirtless again, his smile softer but no less dazzling, as he stood in the prow of a fishing boat, a tall line of verdant cliff tops in the distance, the blue of the sky just a little lighter than that of the Mediterranean. 

Her teacher had gone silent as she flipped past the last page in that series and put the pad down. “Hennessy?” She placed her hand on his, where it rested on the table. “That was years ago. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime--once I got home, my mother fell ill for some time, and...and we fell out of touch right away.” He nodded and smiled, but she felt she needed to offer more. “That’s how holiday romances go, right? Golden but fleeting...” And now my heart belongs to you. Forever, by the feel of it. 

“Yes,” he nodded again, and she wondered if he caught the flavor of that thought, for he raised her hand to brush his lips against her fingers. He studied her face a moment, and his sunshine smile returned. “But I want to see them all, darling. You do have quite a talent.” 

And so they continued. Hennessy laughed genially at her studies of her little black kitten, Chaucer, ranging across her book shelves, warming himself on her laptop keyboard, and curled into a fluffy little ball upon her bed pillow. “I swear, he really did all those things,” she confided, glowing a little in the face of her lover’s generous regard, “It’s like he owns the place now, and I’m just the guest.” 

Hennessy clucked his tongue. “Bosh. We’ll see who runs the place when I come to visit. My will is certainly far stronger than his.” 

A little thunderstruck, she asked him breathlessly, “You’d come to see me at my flat?” 

“I don’t see why not,” he grinned, and then seeing what it meant to her, he issued a hasty disclaimer. “Of course, that’s no promise it’ll be any time soon, my dear. Timetable to be determined.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Scarlett nodded, doing her best not to seem disappointed. It was too much, too soon to have expected, anyway. 

At last they arrived at the sketch, the one over which her anxiety had been gradually growing. The moment of truth. She averted her eyes at his sound of surprise, as he stood up and took the pad right out of her hand, to finally exclaim, “Well, I’ll be damned!” In the brief silence that followed, she could hear the thump of her own heart, hoping against hope that he had meant that in a good way. “Scarlett...darling...when did you do this?” 

She finally raised her eyes, to find such an open, soft expression on his features that her heart just about skipped a beat. “Yesterday. After I...left you in the study...”

Hennessy crooked his trademark, honest half-smile her way. “This...this is really good, my dear. And I have to say...quite...flattering.” 

Scarlett was memorizing the look of genuine wonder in those eyes that had the power to command her and cajole her. Frighten her for breathless moments, and just as effortlessly mesmerize her. Fancying that someday soon she’d capture the chameleon beauty of those eyes in this particular moment, in charcoal and in chalk, so to frame them and keep them well beyond the days when his interest in her finally waned. “I just drew the truth, my jo,” she shrugged, “Exactly as I saw it.” 

His mouth hung open as he reached to brush back some strands of hair that had fallen across her forehead, then stroked his thumb across her cheek. “You have a true artist’s eye, love.” His voice was the velvet caress she had come to crave. “And your romantic nature shines through in...all of these pieces. I am both flattered and honored by this...gentle version of me. By the beauty you’ve rendered to even my most...jarring...defects.” 

She bit her lip, and could only bow her head in thanks, else her voice might break with the tenderness he stirred her to. Jarring defects. His mysterious scars. How she ached to know their origin, and to give him comfort for whatever pain he’d suffered from them--though she knew she could not, should not, ask. But at least she knew she’d touched his heart in their regard, and that would have to be enough for now. 

Still tracing her cheek, Hennessy moved into a crouch beside her. The heat had brought a ruddiness to his face and the bright sunlight allowed her to study the soft smattering of freckles across his skin. Scarlett had a moment to think about how very much she’d like to capture this look on him, deciding that her Prismacolors colored pencils might be best, before he moved in close enough for kissing. “Would it be too vain of me to say that sketch is my favorite, darling?” 

“No. Not at all,” she breathed, contemplating how she might express on paper, the perfection of his cupid’s bow, the temptation of his tender lower lip. Even unto the wee scar that couldn’t mar it’s beauty, and which she had already tasted countless times, and hoped to taste countless more.

“Perhaps someday you’ll sketch me with the passion you expended on your Greek boy.” He was teasing her, of course; he had to be. He couldn’t know she was thinking exactly that. “In fact, I would enjoy that very much, Scarlett. To have you ply your...talent...on me.” 

Hennessy’s breath was on her lips now, the promise of his kiss achingly close. She shut her eyes, panting in anticipation. “Yes...on me, sweet Scarlett. On me, and me alone.” She whimpered beneath the searing power of his kiss, as though by accepting it, she’d made some sort of Faustian bargain--and thus he had claimed yet another piece of her soul. 

          _________________________________________________

tagging: @strangelock221b​  @ben-locked​  @ben-c-group-therapy​  @thelostsmiles​  @splunge4me2art​  @humanbornarchangel​  @tsukuyomi011​  @ravencatart​  @doctor-stephenstrange​  @letterstosherlock​  @emilyinnj4real​  @aeterna-auroral-avenger​  @frowerssx2​  @groovyfluxie​  @candie-girl22 

(And yes, my friends, I promise there will be watery fun to come in the next installment *grinning wickedly*.)

#my writing #Scarlett and the Professor #I hope you find it worth the wait! #Scarlett Cambell #OFC #her devilish lover #Scarlett's Professor #OMC #not my OMC and used with permission #as long as tacit permission remains #Professor Hennessy #Hennessy #[I have to be honest - when I wrapped this chapter up the other day] #[before editing it ofc - I felt like a 'real writer; like this could really be a book]

[rametarin]

What's your takeaway on the whole "men have built this world's problems so they don't get to feel bad about it affecting them" take? Or the new surge of hatred towards men due to Bill Cosby's release (and the idea that men in general get away with sexual assault regardless of class)

Same old shit, anon.

Before they gave that point of view a name and an organized set of beliefs, they'd just sneak that rhetoric and direction into any conversation about any given problem between the sexes. At least in this modern day they'll call it The Patriarchy- rather than just use flowery, neutral, benign seeming language to have plausible deniability about it.

Take the right to vote, for example. Women had the right to vote, as did men. Then it was revised so UNLESS you were someone that had to go to war and die for your country, you didn't get to vote. And women were exempted from going to war for biological reasons, economic reasons, and just simple ergonomic reasons. So, naturally, they couldn't vote.

When the suffragettes fought to give women the right to vote, how did they fight for it? Did they fight to remove the draft for both sexes and fight for women to get the right to vote on the basis of citizenship, not applicability for serving the military? No. Did they argue to also draft women, because women deserved the same rights and responsibilities as men? No, they wanted the rights but didn't want the responsibilities or obligations the men did. Did they do anything but revise it just enough to say, "Women can vote just by being alive :^)"? No.

The minute your group claims it's for civil rights and you have the opportunity to change something to improve it, but only for your demographic, you become responsible for that group's continued abuses. That's why we don't attribute slavery to Britain that continued under the newly formed United States' rule. The moment that country was founded and didn't immediately abolish slavery (and there were practical and economic reasons not to for a bit) they became responsible for that.

And similarly, the suffragettes and feminists are not exempt of responsibility for giving themselves the right to vote on the basis of sex, but not men. They had the opportunity to either change the rules to allow women to be inducted by the draft, abolish the draft as the prerequisite to being able to vote for anybody, etc. They chose to endow themselves with a right purely for their sex and say, "fuck you, I got mine, you aren't my responsibility" to the men. The men that supported them, the men that consented for their little princess party that changed the right to vote from one of given by drafted, compulsory military service, to a national, civil right based on being alive and a citizen- if you're a woman. Not contingent of dying in a war.

Most problems men face today are like that. Because feminism dusted its hands, went, "Not my problem, you're the oppressor. I'm out for mine because freeing me frees the people that matter." And then smugly passed the buck on for men to change things for themselves if they wanted anything at all.

This is why feminism does not and cannot speak up on behalf of men's rights. They only see men as a secondary extension of women, and think whatever rights are endowed to women do not belong to men equally, as equal rights on the basis of being a man threatens their endowed, sexual budgets and entitlements from society.

As for Bill Cosby; it was inevitable. I don't know whether or not Bill Cosby actually dateraped all those women. I'm going to assume he did, because he accepted responsibility. But the outrage over his recent release was inevitably going to spill into "convuhsayshun uwu" about "male privilege," and his release rather than dying in prison, proof this society treats men like gods and women like tenga eggs.

Never one to waste opportunity to try and shape the imaginations and minds of young women to turn them into emotional, radical, bitter teenaged Social Justice Warriors, naturally The Conversation would be how Cosby being released for whatever nebulous reasons "must" be proof.

While simultaneously turning a blind eye to the fact the reason rape is so narrowly defined around if a man forcefully had sex with a woman, and the reason most all domestic violence arrests are men, is because of radical feminist policy making, proving not only are they just as cemented in our institutions, but our institutions also lean towards erring on the side of caution to give women the benefit of the doubt in all cases.

They'll happily point at much publicized examples of people like Cosby getting off free, whether that's true or not, and then use that as background dressing for their rant about how misogynistic and androcentrist this "society" is. While kicking under the rug just who, by the Duluth model, gets to go to prison if the police are called for a domestic violence dispute.

Unless the circumstances are BLATANTLY, BRAZENLY, OBVIOUSLY one sided, like a woman is stabbing a man that's holding a baby with a steak knife, an arrest WILL be made, and the "taller," "larger," person will be taken in, as an arrest HAS to be made for a domestic violence call. We do not arrest women and stick them in prison just because men call the cops; you cannot say the same when it comes to women.

Similarly for rape. You could be a woman, strap on a big ole horse dick and dilate the buttholes of half a county's worth of questionably aged minors, and in the past, not one legal definition of, 'rape' would stick, because rape was defined as using a biological penis, and/or being a biological male. You weren't male? You couldn't be charged for rape. Just sexual assault and battery.

And then radfems would want to have "convuhsayshuns uwu" about how men are bad and the rape statistics about whom is raping whom would prove it. Because, you know, "As a feminist, I an committed to FACTS and LOGIC and actual RESEARCH to support MY points. Not feelings and outrage and baseless assumptions! I'm a secular realistic FEMINIST!"

Then barrage you with bad faith requests to, "see your statistics and studies :^)" Knowing full well academia wasn't readily available to fucking gradeschoolers unless their parents were creepy intellectuals or something, and access to ones that didn't have this ideological confirmation bias was even more rare. If you couldn't produce any almighty holy writ evidence or counterargument based on these "professionals" writings, they'd do the verbal equivalent of today's "KUNG POW PENIS LOL" and then mock you in front of their friends, and shit.

So they had the very criteria that cops and feds used to record the incidences of rape based on bad, skewed values, designed to spare women from being charged with responsibility for rape or abuse. Then they cited these statistics that skewed so badly showing 90%+ of all rapes and domestic violence charges were from men.

So they could just “stawt a convuhsayshun” making broadsweeping, inflammatory statements like, “men commit practically all the violence in the home,” or, “men are rapists because they’re men and men rape very frequently and it’s very common,” and talk about it like that’s just a thing MOST men do, boo on men, men bad.

And if you dared challenge them on it, out come the cooked statistics and bias in the professions that led to them, where they then “humbly” try to get you to put forth counter-evidence. Since they assert unless you have any, then your opinion is worthless and you’re an emotional crybaby. They will not hesitate to insult your character or intelligence and assert their use of “objective facts” makes their argument sound and yours shit.

Youtube atheists doing that shit learned these lessons by diffusion from their millenial childhoods being tormented by these disingenous groomed baby radfems.

So them using the Cosby thing to sow this outrage is nothing new.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- CAREER ADVICE

"Hey!" James spluttered in hurt and confusion. "I was defending Lily-"

"You started it," Harry told him. His tone was trying extremely hard not to sound accusatory, to let James say something for himself, but he could not stop that heavy weighing pit pressing so hard on him. He'd spent his whole life wanting to meet his parents, and now he had, but now, after seeing that... he still couldn't really look at him as he'd never expected his dad to be more like Dudley.

"This was two days after Snape stunned Sirius and left him behind that broom shed for practically a whole night," Remus put in. "James was just offering a little return of favor."

"And the week before you lot cursed him so bad he spent two days in the hospital wing with a cauldron stuck over his head!" Lily snapped. "This fight went on since their first week of school," she finished in only a bit calmer voice towards Harry.

"I never denied I was a touch big-headed," James refused to be side tracked, even while Lily scoffed for his downplay, and to his crumpling heart his son frowned instead of smiling indulgently at them as he did look at him. "I've never hid from you how I, ah, what me and Snape were like to each other. What on earth suddenly has you agreeing with Snape?"

"I, you just attacked him," Harry emphasized. "You and Sirius, you humiliated him, and I know what that's like far more than whatever you were getting him back for. You lot were all so upset whenever Dudley did anything to me when I was little, why's this so different?"

Sirius opened his mouth with a critical eye on Harry, all of them rather hurt and confused why they were defending themselves to Harry of all people. What Harry had grown up with was completely different in their mind's eye, as Harry had never had a chance to defend himself, whereas Snivellus had started those fights as often as they had.

So it was to everyone's surprise when Lily stepped in.

  "Harry, I know that couldn't have been pleasant for you to see, I know it was never fun to watch them in action," she rolled her eyes while Harry looked desperately to her. "Yes they were idiots, they still are, but you know for a fact they're not Malfoy. They did those things to Snape and others because they were arses. I agree it wasn't always right, they should have found better things to do when they got bored, but they never intentionally hurt anyone, you really think I wouldn't have cursed them stupid if they had," she finished with an affectionate smile at them.

Harry still didn't entirely feel better, but he also still couldn't bring himself to say the worst of it to her face. Her eyes were so gentle when talking to him, and still so fragile from being reminded of what a once friend had done to her. She clearly loved these idiots around her...but even watching them interact, it was quite mind blowing to see that hateful redhead turn into what he was seeing in person. He'd gotten a few sparse details, but now he really wanted to know what on earth had changed? He glanced again at his dad though, and he just couldn't bring himself to ask, not yet, not with how sick he was feeling having never seen him in this light before.

He just sighed and gave a jerky nod to his head, still flattening his hair and couldn't quite look at any of them as Lily passed her infant to her husband and went to take the book away from Remus.

The boys still looked extremely put off that had been Harry's takeaway from that instance, they'd thought he'd been enjoying stories of their time at school. The thick layer of tension as Lily started wasn't at all unfamiliar now, but never before had it felt so personal to them in regards to Harry.

Hermione was confused why he no longer had Occlumency lessons.

"That's what she caught on," Sirius demanded, all the more bothered Harry wouldn't meet his eyes as he muttered back:

"I didn't tell her the reason."

Harry said Snape had told him he was good enough with the basics to do it alone now.

"Liar, liar," Remus tried to playfully point out, but frowned all the more when Harry kept studying his nails. The worst part for all three of them was they couldn't tell if Harry was mad at them, or still sympathizing with Snape, or just disappointed. He wasn't telling them, and they'd thought they'd earned his trust more than that. Could one stupid instance really have ruined that?

Hermione was skeptical of this, asking if he'd stopped having those dreams?

Harry agreed he had, mostly.

James didn't even want to play in with the joke. He'd been worried when he'd gotten so upset about Harry for his lying about the Dursley's that he'd irreparably scared his son away from him. Now it turns out he'd accomplished that instead by just being himself.

Hermione insisted he shouldn't stop with Snape until they were completely gone, he should go back and ask-

"Then he probably would kill you," Lily muttered, the sad part was she really meant it.

Harry snapped at her to drop it.

They were on the first day of Easter break, and true to form, Hermione was creating study schedules for them. Harry and Ron let her do it, because there was no point in arguing, and they may come in useful.

"At least you admit to that," Sirius insisted, he'd never let awkward silence hang, and he'd keep at Harry until he really said what was on his mind.

Ron had been startled to discover there were only six weeks left until their exams.

"Because that's really the reminder we wanted," Remus huffed.

Hermione was stunned at his surprise, but tried to remind he'd do fine if he just stuck to the schedule.

Ron at first brightened when he saw he'd been given a night off each week,

"Is it such a surprise she gave him a night off?" Lily almost chuckled.

"Considering this was our OWLs, or the most important day in our lives, yes, it was quite the shocker he got one," Harry told her glumly, though that could have been for the reminder of why he hadn't gotten one, which Lily didn't get until she'd kept going.

until Hermione told him that was for his Quidditch practices.

"Thank you for the reminder," James said bitterly, another thing he couldn't seem to enjoy without wanting to curse something.

Ron told her there was no point, they had as much chance at that Cup as his dad becoming Minister.

"So a very good chance then," Lily said pleasantly, and at least they could all agree on that.

Crookshanks came over and tried to bat at his hand for a scratch, but Harry didn't even seem to realize it until his friends asked what was wrong. He insisted nothing was, then quickly dragged Defensive Magical Theory to him to browse through the index.

Sirius watched Harry with genuine concern, though at least this time it wasn't for whatever was going through his head, mostly that he just still had that book instead of using it for spitballs by now.

Crookshanks gave him up as a bad job and slunk away under Hermione's chair.

Lily got a personal giggle out of that, it reminded her too much of her own cat.

Hermione didn't believe him, telling him that Cho had seemed rather miserable lately, had the two of them fought again?

Harry quickly seized this and agreed at once.

'Ironically, it was a girl that was bothering me,' Harry frowned to himself, wondering how Hermione did that, even if she'd gotten the wrong girl.

Lily just frowned at the pages for an extra moment. It was saddening Harry wasn't telling his friends about what he saw. He should be aloud to talk about it, but then again, he didn't even seem to want to talk about it much in here considering he'd hardly look at any of them.

It had been over that sneak friend of hers Marietta.

Ron burst into a lengthy rant about her, which Harry mostly tuned out and only seemed to agree angrily when there was a pause,

"Happy to note when Ron's being useful," James muttered, tensing himself in fear what Harry was really thinking would come up, he wasn't even sure he wanted to hear his thoughts from what little he'd said aloud.

in favor of continuing to dwell on his father. He'd never for a second doubted Snape's aspersions to his father's character.

James ruffled in frustration that just one stupid memory had really tarnished him so much to Harry. Snape had been the one to insult his mother, what was he being targeted for? The question burned at his throat, but right now he was sure if he let it out he might just yell it in frustration, so he kept himself together.

Hadn't people like Hagrid and Sirius told Harry how wonderful his father had been?

Lily gave him a pitiful look, she couldn't imagine what Harry was feeling at that age. He'd never met his parents, so of course those who had would only tell of his good parts. Who wanted to share with an orphan that their parent used to have some arse like tendencies? Certainly not Hagrid who struggled to say a mean word about anyone, and most definitely not his enabler and best friend who even now was just as hurt and confused why all his words were being thrown out the window just because Harry had caught Snape with his pants down.

Then his mind nagged at him Sirius hadn't been any better!

He'd once overheard McGonagall comparing them to the twins, but he couldn't imagine Fred and George dangling someone upside for fun.

"Oh I can," James rolled his eyes.

Not unless it was someone who really deserved it, like Malfoy.

"Exactly," Remus put his hands up in frustration, they'd really been aghast Harry hadn't seen it that way, but now it was clear the thought had at least crossed his mind, so why was he still looking at them like he'd never seen them before, again.

Harry tried to go back and see why Snape had deserved it then, but then he remembered James' words clearly, that they were only doing this because he existed, the whole thing had been started because Sirius was bored.

James could not hold that one in, even as he tried very hard not to snap at Harry, "well sure, that sounds bad if you didn't already know what we'd already told you." He was even going to keep going, to tell Harry how jealous he'd been of Snape's life having more to do with Lily than him, but was surprised when Harry actually looked at him again, looking outraged.

"You've never said you treated him like Dudley used to treat me."

They looked shocked Harry could say such a thing, James spluttering for some kind of reversal for Harry to see it hadn't been that way at all! "What? No, Harry Dudley's a bully who beat on you, we, I-"

"Okay, yeah, everyone thinks they have a good reason for it," Harry cut in sharply, he didn't want to hear some pitiful excuse like Dudley would sometimes give teachers at his old school.

James couldn't decide if he was going to cry with frustration or just leave the room in shame. He looked back to his baby, which had been a source of comfort to his life since the day Lily had placed his hand on her womb and told him the news. Now though, he was suddenly terrified just to hold the infant, like he too would turn on him and start biting at his throat even without teeth.

Apparently leaving the room won, he got up and left anyways, and Harry watched him go with frustration. Great, now his father was a coward as well who wouldn't even hear what Harry was thinking. He moved away from the other two, to sit in the chair by himself, he needed just to not be around any of them for a moment. He instantly regretted it though, his father's last words echoing in his head from thirteen, James Potter shouting through a dementor for Lily to run. James had sacrificed his life to buy his real life some time, there must be an explanation for this...

"He just went to put our son down in his crib," Lily told him as she watched him glare daggers at the staircase. In moments her words spoke true, he was back at her side with a huffy grumble of words. She paused to reach out and take his hand, holding the book a bit awkwardly in place as she gave it a squeeze before having to let go to keep going. Harry still wasn't speaking his mind in here, not really, and she wasn't sure if it was anger or still something else holding him back, so Lily kept going patiently. She hated having to drag answers from the book rather than him and wished he'd just tell them off already, she knew that always made her feel better, but perhaps he was still too muddled to put it all together.

He remembered Lupin's words back in Grimmauld place, saying he'd been made a Perfect by Dumbledore in hopes he'd exercise some control over his friends, but clearly that hadn't worked, as he'd sat around and done nothing.

Remus opened and closed his mouth with unease. He'd stayed out of the fights as often as he'd been involved, it really was dependent on the circumstances. Considering Sirius had been missing for almost eight hours a day ago and scared them all senseless until they'd found him behind that broom shed, he'd felt James and Sirius had a right to this payback.

Harry kept reminding himself that Lily had intervened; his mother had been decent.

James continued to look all the more miserable at Harry's choice of phrase. Snape had been the one to use a dark curse on him, all he'd done was try and get him to apologize, what was so indecent about that? It wasn't at all what Dudley or even Malfoy had ever tried to do, he couldn't figure out where Harry was coming from!

Yet the memory of the look on his mother's face disturbed him as much as anything. Her clear loathing of him, how hatefully she'd shouted at the instance, he couldn't figure out how they'd ever married. He'd even started to wonder if somehow James had forced her into it.

"Hey!" James shouted, now glaring daggers at his spitting image. "Fine, call me what you will, but that's crossing the line Harry!"

Harry finally met his eyes, and shamefully whispered, "I'm sorry," an awkward pause as he wanted James to know he truly meant that, just watching the two beside each other made that clear as day, but he couldn't help finishing, "about that."

"Okay, enough," Lily seethed, snapping the book shut and looking between the two. She'd thought Harry would work this out for himself, but if he was drawing those kind of conclusions, this wasn't to be avoided anymore. "Harry, I detested James because he was acting like an arrogant birk, he was as bad as Dudley and Malfoy in his youth."

"Thanks so much for the defense dear," James put his hands up in frustration, but she ignored him.

"But he was also the same then as he is now, some parts just outgrew others. He's still a proud idiot who stands by his friends, he's still a troublemaker who won't see anyone being picked on without returning the favor."

James was still watching her like he couldn't decide if half of that was supposed to be complimentary or not, but Harry wasn't watching him anymore like he thought he was holding Lily hostage, so he'd take it.

Harry still tried to explain the nasty thought process, "but you-" he cut off with a vague wave back at the book, that memory.

"I only saw the worst parts of him while I was friends with Snape because we were friends and Potter was picking on my friend, something I obviously couldn't stand for. Yet when Snape did that to me, I was forced to reevaluate a lot of things, including him. I saw he hadn't really changed in the next year, but he did continue to grow up."

He nodded, and tried to find the words to explain, "I guess I just, never really imagined," but it was hard, as at fifteen he was still processing it all, making anything he tried to string together in here nay impossible until he'd come to fully grasp it back then. He did feel better he supposed, Lily had married him after all, and the love and care they continued giving to their infant and this life was more than proof enough something had changed in between those times.

He looked back to his dad and said with clear sincerity, "I am sorry."

James nodded, still with a hard set on his jaw, but was forced to acknowledge his son was speaking of someone he'd never even met. That didn't make the hurt any less.

For the past five years of his life he'd thought of his father as a source of comfort, whenever anyone compared him to James he'd glow. Now he just felt miserable at the thought.

James recoiled, suddenly feeling his throat tighten, having to blink very carefully or the hurt of that would spill out. Only days ago, for the first time in his life he'd known how it felt to have his son be proud of him when he'd seen the lengths they'd gone through to help Remus with his transformation. Now that had all been stripped away.

Sirius groaned in frustration, fighting back the urge to snap at Harry like he would anyone thinking like this about James, though the oddity of it being Harry held him back. He couldn't think of anything to say, Harry was clearly still feeling off about all three of them so talking to him clearly wasn't making it any better.

Thoughts like these would not leave him even as days passed, Harry found himself in the library trying to study. He was alone for a moment, as Hermione was doing revision of Ancient Runes, and Ron was at Quidditch practice. Then he realized someone was trying to get his attention, Ginny was sitting across from him.

Harry blinked slowly, unconsciously twisting his ring upon his finger. He felt like this should mean more to him, now that his crush on Cho had been eradicated, but it was far to hard to focus on much of anything except that old look on his mother's face, the sneer upon James he still didn't seem to grasp was so similar to Dudley's the many times he'd socked Harry in the face.

Harry gave her a distracted hi, asking about practice.

She explained Ron had to take Jack Sloper up to the hospital wing.

"Well at least something interesting finally happened there," James mumbled.

They weren't sure what even happened, but they thought he'd hit himself with his own bat.

Remus couldn't help a surprised splutter of laughter that he didn't try very hard to hide, any humor he'd cling to rather than somehow finding himself even lower in Harry's opinion than before, and that had been saying something.

Then she put the reason she'd found him on the table, a carelessly re-wrapped package with a stamp across it declaring it had been checked over by the High Inquisitor.

"Thank you, now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside like she is on the outside," Sirius snipped, and Harry almost smiled again. It still felt awkward, to look at Sirius and think more of Piers Polkiss, but this was his godfather. A man who'd escaped from Azkaban for Harry's safety, the man who was allowing himself to be shut up inside his childhood nightmare all for Harry's sake. If he'd been a prat as a child, laughing along as his best mate hung someone upside down, surely in his adult life in looking after that same man's kid had to make up for it?

Ginny said they were easter eggs from Mum.

Lily made a grumpy little noise, she still remembered Hermione delivering those last year and Molly's actions, but the woman had made up for it since then.

She gave Harry his, which according to the little wrapper would have Fizzing Whizbees on the inside, and the outside was decorated with Snitches. He felt his throat tighten painfully.

"Obviously he doesn't appreciate the reminder he's still banned from the Quidditch team, Ginny coming up there to report as much plus the icing helped nothing," James shrugged, before Harry winced, and he realized his son had actually still been acquitting this to that memory. He couldn't even glance at Harry again to see if he'd fixed his expression, he only had left a burning desire to murder Snape all over again. The man seemed to have a gift for ruining everything in his life.

When Ginny saw the expression, she told him he'd been down a lot lately, surely if he just talked to Cho-

"That is quite a girl," Lily said mostly for herself. "I wonder if she still has a crush on you, but even so, she's still trying to help you out."

When Harry didn't answer, finding Cho the least consequential thing in his life right now, Lily let out a breathy sigh and kept going pitifully with worry growing more all the time. Was it possible, Harry really couldn't see past all that? She could hardly hold the idea his father ruined the rest of his life, if in fact he'd carried this with him right up to the day he'd lost his memories and been transported here. If he'd really grown to hate the idea of her husband? For a moment she couldn't breathe at the idea as she looked at their only child, but then she really saw him. Harry had his hands tucked tight into his lap, only occasionally releasing the grip to flatten his hair. He kept a nervous eye on the tread of his shoes, he'd never liked their awkward silence and of course she couldn't blame him for that, but surely if he'd progressed into outright hating James he'd be showing signs of that. For now he still looked more like he wasn't sure how to react to this news- no! She wouldn't let that happen! She kept going steadily, keeping a watchful eye on him and vowing to put that to a stop if the moment became apparent. James was a good man, Harry must know that.

Harry finally corrected it wasn't Cho he wanted to talk to, but Sirius.

They all looked to him in surprise for that, he'd been the last person they'd been expecting Harry to want to see right now considering he hadn't been looking at his godfather any more than his father.

He knew he couldn't though.

"Well I'm here now," Sirius stated with a critical eye, wondering if Harry was going to pass into a bit of shouting, or...okay he couldn't really figure out why Harry wanted to talk to him considering he was the person who'd started this.

Harry took a careful breath before he tried to start. He couldn't quite meet his eyes, but spoke more to the left of his head as he began hesitantly, "that-" he broke off, he couldn't decide how to phrase it and just hoped he'd understand, "that thing you did to Snape-"

He understood. Sirius' face flushed and he recoiled. He was not proud of almost getting someone killed, by means of one of his best friends. So he had not a clue where Harry was trying to draw lines from there, but he hurried to say, "hey, I never- I mean, look I apologized to the blighter! He didn't think I meant it and he told me to-"

"I just meant," Harry quickly cut off his desperate attempts to explain that, but Harry wasn't holding a grudge for the moment. He'd accepted it for what it was, yet another prank of theirs that seemed to have gone so wrong. He just wanted to know, "I know you regretted it, but when did that happen?"

Sirius exchanged a wary look with his friends before saying, "the previous month, full moon, whatever."

Harry's face puckered, this clearly wasn't the answer he was hoping for, and Sirius' chest hurt as he thought Harry still considered the worst of him for that. "Listen, Moony and I had only just started talking again, and yeah we were all still a little on edge considering I'd only just gotten out of the Hospital Wing from that last Quidditch match that knocked me out. Don't blame Prongs and Remus for all the stupid shit I did."

Harry shook his head slowly as he tried to explain, "I'm just trying to understand, if that didn't make you stop having a go at him, what changed?" They all got so furious when they heard what Dudley had done to him in his youth, what Malfoy continued to do to him and the people in his life, why did they consider themselves better?

Sirius very clearly did not get the question. "I hadn't believed it possible, but he was worse to us after that exchange, always hissing that he knew what we were really up to now. If Dumbledore hadn't threatened to expel him, honestly the only time that man ever used such a threat just to keep a lid on Snape's greasy mouth, Moony probably would have been in Azkaban!"

Remus flinched hard at the still likely statement for his life, but Sirius was only getting angry while Harry was growing more dispirited Sirius wasn't exactly answering his question, so he intervened. "Harry, after Sirius ran away from home during that summer and moved in with James, glory I can't even describe the state Sirius was in. I only heard about it a few days after and came around, and he was still in a right state. Took the two ages to fully get out telling me what all had happened that night."

"Which was?" Harry felt bad pushing for this, he wanted to respect their right not to have to share something clearly so personal to Sirius, but he just wanted to understand, surely they got that?

James at least seemed to, waiting until it was clear Sirius was fighting up the words to say it himself before James spoke it for him. "His parents were trying to get him to drop out of school, go join the Death Eaters."

Harry spluttered in disgust, James nodding in agreement with that expression at least. "It turned into quite a fight..." he trailed off, and Harry was sure he was still missing how bad that really must have been, what state had Sirius shown up in? When James said a fight, did he really- curses had been thrown around by his own parents?

"After that, well, I just couldn't, seem to, it wasn't fun anymore to-" he broke off with an odd outward gesture, but Harry got the idea.

"I'm sorry." He actually wasn't sure who he was apologizing to this time. James for all the terrible thoughts, or Sirius for his childhood. He wasn't even sure if this made what he'd seen better, but it did give him some sort of understanding at least what made him stop.

"Stop apologizing," James half heartedly scolded. "I can't even imagine you having to see all that for the first time."

"Hopefully you do find a way to talk to Sirius, I'm sorry you couldn't go home over Easter break to try," Remus offered.

Harry nodded with hope he did speak to him, soon, and there was finally a catch of relief from his mind, some kind of promise this would come true, and Lily finally felt a soft bliss brush her words again as she kept going this would all work out.

There was a pause while Ginny considered this and Harry unwrapped his egg to take a bite.

Ginny helped herself to some,

Sirius snorted enthusiastically, well aware the look his mates were giving him was for his doing the same on all foods.

before telling him there was a way.

Harry reminded about all communications in the school being watched.

Harry swiped furiously at the sweat beading up on his forehead. He'd just had a nice moment with his dad and godfather, at least he didn't hate them at the moment, why did his mind have to choose now to thump so hard against his skull. That pain was just unhelpful, it's not like he knew why something he'd said was so wrong...something about Sirius, and a gift...but the idea wouldn't solidify, so unless he could get some use out of knowing the right answer, he forcefully ignored the pressure.

Ginny contradicted that growing up with the twins had taught her anything was possible if you had enough nerves.

"This is true!" James nodded eagerly. If talking to Sirius in here had clearly helped Harry, he was positive the same would happen in his time, and he was all for Harry never thinking anything of his marriage like that again.

Harry looked at her. Perhaps it was the effect of the chocolate -

"I know that always improves my mood," Lily giggled, finally feeling light hearted again now that her son was almost smiling along at the lot of her boys.

- Lupin had always advised eating some after encounters with Dementors -

"In any situation, honestly sweets have been known to stop wars," Remus grinned.

"No they haven't," James countered with an eye roll, "and I don't consider you and Sirius wrestling over a pack of gum a war."

"Well I did," Sirius sniffed, hating how his chest hurt as he remembered who had taken the last piece to stop them while James had been laughing his arse off, but then he'd bought them both their own candy bar at the next Hogsmeade trip just to shut them up.

To Harry and Lily, it was clear something was being untold here, but considering the only times they'd ever held back in sharing was when it involved a particular someone, they didn't ask for details as Lily kept going.

or simply because he had finally spoken aloud the wish that had been burning inside him for a week, but he felt a bit more hopeful.

Harry gave a breathy laugh he wasn't quite sure had all to do with that and something to do with his company. Finally wondering about how Ginny had been the one to make him smile after something so-

Lily had cut off his train of thought quite loudly and he startled in surprise.

A loud, sharp voice shouted at them what they were doing!

Sirius burst out laughing at Harry's jump.

Remus shook his head without remorse. "Honestly, how she even got in there with those I've no clue, normally Pince can scent that out by a mile."

"You were expecting this the whole time?" Harry demanded as he half glared at them all.

"Yep," James agreed, popping the P for emphasis, "we were taking silent bets on how long it would last, and I think Lily won."

Lily rolled her eyes, knowing they'd been far to distracted to be doing any such thing, but it made Harry roll his eyes in exasperation at them again, so she didn't counter him.

Madam Pince rounded on them, screaming chocolate in her library! Then she cursed their books and things to pelt them as they ran from the library.

"I accidentally crushed my egg she startled me so bad," Harry grumbled, "got it all over the book I was reading anyways, so that was her fault." Then he brightened and added on, "but Ginny split her egg with me, told me it was only fair."

It was so sweet to see such a simple smile cross his face again that they all paused for a moment with glee Harry's life wasn't all bad.

The next day, a notice was posted up in all common rooms with the message Career Advice:

"I've been waiting for this one to show up," Remus nodded.

"I still can't believe you argued with McGonagall for your whole time about whether illegal breeding should be made into an actual career," James shook his head at him.

"It was the only thing I could think of at the time," Remus shrugged without remorse. "Hagrid put me onto the idea when he showed up in our last Creatures class talking about how he'd once seen a fire breathing fish, I was really only trying to help him."

"Now you want to work with Goblins instead," Sirius rolled his eyes, before telling Harry, "suppose it's better than his last year of school where he was convinced he could go work with dragons, something like what Charlie does. For some reason he kept thinking I was joking when I wrote out his eulogy."

"At least I've got ideas," Remus scowled at him. "According to you, you spent the whole time with McGonagall telling her what you didn't want to do, I recall your statement 'no homework,' five times when telling us about it."

"Give me a break, I was sick of it at the time, forcing us to do this right before the exams to define those careers!" Sirius grumbled. He decided to inform them though, "you should be even more pleased with me than usual though-"

"Oh this'll be good," Remus rolled his eyes.

"-that I have decided to look into something, I want to meet Arthur for more than the company."

They paused with a curious look at him, his smile widening all the more. "Honestly, it does sound fascinating. May as well do something with my best OWL grade, and it would be a great way for me to spurn my parents all the more, though that's just a bonus."

Harry couldn't help laughing loudly at them again, even at such a detail as hearing their plans for after the war. No matter how unhappy he was at their past actions, he always managed to find just as much joy in their life. He eyed his parents curiously, and Lily happily added on, "it was McGonagall who helped me decide to join the Ministry in an effort to help with their laws, we had a nice discussion about my interests in bettering the wizarding community."

James hesitated at first, he wasn't even sure if Harry still cared enough to hear his, but Harry was still watching him. His expression was a touch weary, did he honestly expect James to declare he'd waltzed in there asking for a professional career in bullying? But all he'd been doing in here was looking to share with his son, so he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity now.

"I had no clue what I was doing going in," James shrugged. "Both of my parents were potioneers, but I never much favored that, so I'd spent the past five years already looking for anything else. It was McGonagall who really gave me the idea of being an Auror though, said a little law enforcement might make me consider all the rules I break," he finished with a smirk. He hesitated, but confessed, "I was going to start training once you were a bit older," he went cross eyed for a moment telling this to his adult son, that never got any less weird, "but I don't know, now I still might try something else. I still like to draw, maybe I'll do something with broom designs." He'd considered it once or twice in the past, but had always had something bigger to keep the idea at the back once it occurred to him, now not so much.

"You certainly made up enough in school," Remus agreed with a smirk. "Though I suggest the first one you offer to any company not be the Lilium model, no one needs to know you dedicated a broom to Lily."

James went wide eyed with innocence while Lily blushed faintly as she demanded, "I never saw that one."

"I still have the drawing," James shrugged without remorse. "I'll show it to you later."

If Harry'd ever had any doubts before, they were dashed the instant he saw the tender look cross her face. He could just imagine his mother at sixteen, watching James do something like this in school, and her realization his love was not some joke.

Feeling slightly flustered now at realizing they still had an audience, Lily kept going loudly.

All fifth years were required to meet with their Head of House to discuss this, and the times of when were posted. Harry's took place half past two on Monday, meaning he'd miss most of Divination.

"What a disappointment," Remus said deadpan.

Pamphlets had been deposited in Gryffindor tower for all the students to see the multiple job opportunity, and the three friends were currently sorting through their own pile.

Ron said he didn't fancy Healing, looking at the requirements and seeing how many subjects they wanted an E in.

"I suppose it's having those grades that's a start to showing you can handle multiple things at once, it's a very responsible job," Lily offered. She'd considered it for a time, but had quickly discovered after helping Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing for a day she didn't handle bodily fluids well. Her shaking from helping with the boy's wounds the other day hadn't all been from stress.

Hermione reminded it was a very responsible job.

"Hush Sirius," Lily told him without looking up.

"You never let me have any fun," he grumbled, "so you really are like Hermione."

Lily did look up then just to sarcastically tell him, "congratulations, you've pointed out we're the responsible ones."

She was looking over one that said, so you'd like to work with Muggle Relations?

"I can see her doing that, she'd make a very good bridge between the worlds," Remus agreed.

She found the qualifications weren't much, all you needed as an OWL in muggle studies; what they were really looking for was enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun.

"Sounds like I'm set," Sirius smirked without realizing he'd said it aloud, and then shrugged to the surprised looks he hadn't at all been joking moments before. "Yeah, so I like the sound of what Arthur does."

"Congratulations," Lily said again without the sarcasm. "Though dear I do recommend you please consider that motorcycle and what happened with Arthur."

Sirius made a face at her, he didn't want to give up his bike for a job. Maybe he'd find a way to make a career out of wizard auto-parts, or he'd just invent a need for that.

Harry said you needed more than fun to liaise with his uncle, good sense of when to duck more like.

"Well I have that as well," Sirius said with a bitter smile, "so I'm still all set to meet him."

After he'd seen what they'd done to Snape, Harry no longer had any reservations the threat made against his Muggle side of the family were very real, and yet he never really considered them even family to him, not like he did to those around him in his short stay here. It was quite the conundrum in his mind, to see himself in his youth facing Dudley/ James, but at the same time he couldn't feel much sorrow if that kind of attention was turned on Vernon. Did that make him a bully too? Or simply wanting some people to deserve what they get for the way they treated others?

Harry was looking through one for being a Curse-Breaker at Gringotts, the description one full of adventure and dangerous quests, but they wanted Arithmancy, and he told Hermione she could try for it.

"Well when they put it like that, I can actually see why Moony fell for it," James said. "You do know you can still take your Arithmancy OWL right?" James directed at Harry.

"I didn't know at the time," Harry shrugged, remembering an earlier explanation of theirs on how he'd do this. "I'm sure if I bring it up with McGonagall she'll explain it to me."

Hermione didn't even look up, saying she wasn't going to consider banking, she'd instead switched to one about training security trolls.

"Least Hermione's looking at all of her options," Sirius chuckled in surprise.

"She's had enough practice this year dealing with Umbridge," Remus grumbled.

"I think that means she's not very apt for the job though," James smirked, "considering that troll has yet to learn its lesson."

"I'm sure that'll change before the years up though," Harry said darkly.

They were interrupted by Fred and George joining them.

"Always a treat," Sirius perked up.

They spoke quietly to Harry about Ginny talking to them, Fred lifting his legs up casually on the table and knocking several leaflets to the floor regarding Ministry jobs.

"Poetic," Lily giggled. Considering their current climate, she may well have burned them all.

Hermione was stunned to hear the news Harry wanted to talk to Sirius, her hand freezing over a description about the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.

"Hermione does clean up enough of Harry's messes," James chuckled.

Harry just looked at him in exasperation, which made James laugh all the harder his son didn't deny it.

She told him he was ridiculous, there wasn't a way.

George corrected it was a matter of diversions, and timing. They may have noticed they'd gone silent over the Easter holidays.

"I was rather disappointed to note this, yes," Remus sighed. They'd mentioned mayhem, and then released a spectacular start, but they'd all been a little distracted to realize nothing else had happened. Now they were realizing, and hoping, the twins may have even more up their wands.

Fred agreeing rhetorically what was the point of disrupting leisure time.

"Really? I found that the best time to catch people off guard," James smirked, then winced hard when Harry frowned heavily at him. It clearly wasn't funny to him anymore now that he had an idea of what James really meant by that. He wanted to pull Harry aside, he felt a long overdue conversation was worth it, but Lily was still insistently going, and now that Harry had the opportunity in his time to work this out with Sirius he supposed he understood why. If Harry reached some sort of resolution in his time it would help him in here, so he'd wait till then.

Plus, they'd be remiss to interrupt people studying.

Hermione looked surprised at this thoughtfulness.

"That is so hurtful," Remus rolled his eyes, "in a school so large, I always liked to think others tried to be considerate of everyone else."

"If not, it helped to show them otherwise," Sirius snickered.

"By making twice the disruption," Lily grumbled.

It was back to business come tomorrow when classes restarted though, Fred kept going, and since they were going to cause some uproar, they may as well do it in a way Harry could chat with Sirius.

Hermione fought back with the tone of one explaining something very simple to someone very obtuse,

"I note she uses that tone a lot," Lily rolled her eyes, all the more agitated Sirius so enjoyed comparing her to Hermione, she had never considered herself smarter than others like the idiots around her so often did.

demanding how he planned to do this?

Harry said Umbridge's office.

Harry looked uneasily around like he was expecting to be scolded, but found no one in here found the idea any more harrowing than a trip into the Forest. Dangerous for sure, but the idea of using the woman's own words against her held a rather vindictive pleasure to the lot of them.

He'd been considering it since Umbridge herself had told her fireplace was the only one not being watched.

"Irony in its purest form," Remus declared with that glint in his eyes Harry so often saw in here. He wondered if he'd paid more attention to Remus in that memory rather than the other two if he would have seen more behind the book he'd hidden his face in.

Hermione told him he was insane, how was he even going to get in there?

Harry said Sirius' knife, and she had no clue what that was.

"You had that for over a year and you didn't tell her about it?" Sirius said in surprise.

"I suspected to much of the same reaction I got from all the other gifts I got from you," Harry muttered. She had after all declared the Firebolt and Map unsafe at first and wanted him to be rid of those, he didn't see the point of drawing her attention to another thing from Sirius.

Harry explained his Christmas gift from his godfather last year, that would open any lock,

"Hang on," Sirius' face puckered with confusion, before he snapped his fingers and said, "Christmas this year pup, when you were leaving, I gave you something that you never wanted to open, but you could talk to me with it!"

Harry sat there, flabbergasted with surprise as he said, "I'd, completely forgotten about it. I put it in my trunk, and-" he shook his head miserably at his mind, hating that hateful sting from himself promising he'd regret this even more soon.

Hermione ignored him and then turned on Ron, and Harry was reminded of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

That gave them all a heavy laugh, considering what they'd noticed at Christmas last year between Harry's friends. Harry's shoulders shaking hardest of all seemed an amusing indication to them they weren't wrong in their guess, but they held it in, as maybe it still wouldn't go anywhere. It was still up in the air if they were reading the two right.

Ron looked alarmed at having to give his opinion, saying it was Harry's choice.

"It's all the funnier that's a response I'd expect from Arthur," James pointed out.

The twins seemed to think this was decided, imparting the knowledge of when this would take place tomorrow, as far from Umbridge's office as they could manage, and told Harry he'd have at least twenty minutes once this got started.

It was like a heavy weight being lifted from the room as they all laughed as one. Harry had been living a dream come true being able to spend time with his parents here, but now in his own time when he needed them most, it meant more than words he still had someone to turn to. The way in which he was going to be able to somehow just made this all the sweeter, it was as if James was helping from beyond the grave through the twins.

Harry woke early the next day, the prospect of talking to Sirius about that memory weighing heavily on him, though that wasn't the only thing. He'd also for the first time be back in close proximity to Snape since he'd been thrown out.

Lily went white lipped with fury as she remembered that treatment. It hadn't even phased Harry at the time he'd been so invested in his own mind, but she wasn't the only one who thought Snape should have been fired long ago, now he'd put his hands on Harry like that, and still nothing was going to be done about it! Yes Harry was at fault in that, but if he'd gone to Dumbledore, something would have been done against a teacher leaving a bruise on a student, right?

Harry got up and crossed to the window, gazing out at the lake where it had all taken place so many years ago. He couldn't imagine what Sirius would say as an excuse for his father's behavior, to somehow make all this better.

"Did I?"

Harry considered for a moment. He had the feeling he hadn't pushed Sirius in his own time like he had in here, but he was confident he had spoken to his godfather at least, so he reassured, "I guess, I do understand a bit more, now." He paused and was surprised to see the relief on all three of them, and for a moment he felt ashamed of his anger, he couldn't believe he'd ever made them think he hated them. He continued earnestly, "I'm sure we do talk," he shook his head slightly for being so sure of this too early, but still ignored the feeling, "so it'll all work out."

Sirius beamed! It was hard to put into words the realization Harry didn't hate him, hate his own father because of something he'd done. Finally Sirius felt like he'd done something right!

James shook his head affectionately at the pair, now fighting back the urge more than ever to pull Harry aside so he could have a real chat with him, but now he couldn't bring himself to cut off their moment when Sirius was finally in a happy place about his own life.

Lily kept going with honest hope now, sure that in his life Sirius would help Harry through just like always.

Something caught Harry's attention: movement on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Remus shivered in remembrance of the last time Harry had spotted something like that; it had been Padfoot, and they'd all been worried sick about what was going on during that time. Things had somehow steadily gotten worse from there.

Harry squinted into the sun and saw Hagrid emerging from between the trees.

"Well that's nothing unusual," Sirius shrugged. They saw that a dozen times a day on their meanderings of the grounds.

He was limping heavily as he made his way to his cabin, and Harry watched in concern for several moments until smoke came out the chimney, so he couldn't be so injured he couldn't stoke a flame.

All five of them shivered, just a bit, in fear for what Hagrid was up to. Still remembering his words, they forced themselves not to criticize he may be in over his head, but it didn't stop the worry for his well being while he did whatever it was.

He'd expected his talk with Sirius to be on his mind all day, but had no expected the accompanying commentary by Hermione attempting to dissuade him from doing it.

Remus scoffed deeply in disgust, could Hermione really not let Harry ever make his own decision without foisting her opinion.

She wasn't even paying attention in History of Magic, to busy keeping up her stream of worries that Harry tried to ignore.

"Normally I find Hermione's normalness refreshing," James said deadpan, "now I'd rather her go back to whining you don't do your homework to her standards."

Such things as if he was caught, this time Umbridge would force feed him Veritaserum to find out what he was up to!

Harry ducked into himself, shaking furiously for a moment, and they all thought it was from anger, and couldn't really blame him. Aside from the DA, had Hermione done anything this year other than spend her time telling Harry to not have any interaction with Sirius. Even then, she'd spent some of her time not trusting Sirius' judgment when he approved of her plan. Hermione's constant attempts to keep Sirius out of everything spurned them all, but they all kept a tight bottle on saying anything about it. They were in such a good mood for Harry's reconciliation, having a go at Hermione would help nothing. She couldn't stop Harry from seeing Sirius, even if she wouldn't be supportive of it.

Sirius instead offered up something to distract Harry, "besides, that wouldn't work anyways. I'm in a heavily warded house, I doubt you could just blurt out where I am under magic, that has to be willing information."

Harry gave him a grateful look, the distraction had worked and whatever his mind had been trying to lace together unraveled just as fast.

Ron cut in to demand if she wasn't going to be taking notes, who was?

"Nice distraction," Lily said grudgingly.

Hermione said he could for once, it wouldn't kill him.

"Sadly Hermione didn't take the hint," Harry rolled his eyes, Ron's comment had only saved him one breath, but he had appreciated the attempt.

She continued this even in the dungeons, her hissing breath so forceful others could could hear the noise, and Seamus spent five minutes trying to find a leak in his cauldron for the source of it.

That did get a surprised burst of laughter out of the boys, at least temporarily stopping the near constant eye rolls of Hermione, to which Harry was grateful as he was worried that would soon cause permanent blindness.

Lily wasn't as distracted though, still sitting tense in her seat and waiting to see if somehow Snape would find some new way to torment her son for what he'd done, if he'd go even farther in replicating his revenge onto the James that no longer lived but in his mind.

Snape had found a new way with Harry, by treating him as if he were invisible, a familiar tactic to Harry through Vernon.

"That's," James worked furiously to come up with a nice comment for this instead of the new string of insults he wanted to pour out in regards to the man, but Harry was watching him with a pinched face. He wasn't sure if his sons mood had irrevocably changed and now if he insulted the man his son would turn out worse than Lily curbing them for this, but he wouldn't put Harry so ostracized from him again; so he finished with, "an improvement."

"Better than he ever treated us," Sirius grudgingly agreed.

Remus kept his mouth shut, not trusting he'd say anything that would help, he rarely seemed to do that.

Harry gave them an awkward smile. He wasn't sure what this sudden surge was, something like forgiveness in his eyes when he thought back to Snape...but while watching Sirius he had an even worse omen this was probably the best he should hope for, or even that wouldn't last...

Harry found this an honest improvement over the usual taunting insults, and realized he actually got decently through his potion when left alone. He put a stopper into his flask for today feeling it was at least worth an E.

Lily beamed with pride. She just knew her son could have the potential to be good in this class, he could obviously concentrate as well as had the good intuition and reflexes that came with the skilled in this course.

He put it on his desk, and only turned for a second when he froze at the tinkling sound of breaking glass. He whirled back around to find his on the floor, with Snape's gloating smile on him.

"Oh, so he hasn't quit being an arse yet," Remus said blandly.

"Never could learn his lesson," Lily said bitterly.

James and Sirius exchanged a look before quickly looking to Harry, who felt exasperated and angry all over again. That had lasted shorter than he thought. Snape was still being an utter arse to him, and even if it was his dad that had made him that way, could he really not be the better person now that the man was dead?!

He turned back to his cauldron, determined to grab another vial and force it into Snape's hand for the grade he deserved, when he saw Hermione had already cleaned up everything for him.

Harry ground his teeth in, thinking he'd quite like for Hermione to stop helping him lately.

"Damn," James burst in frustration. Hermione's intentions were always good, and always seemed to cause Harry more problems than he needed.

She tried to apologize, but Harry was at his limit with her and did not speak to her the rest of the day, sitting in between Neville and Seamus during lunch so Hermione could not continue to pester him. He was so angry he walked right into Divination before Ron reminded him of his appointment with McGonagall, and hurtled up the stairs to her office.

"Be glad it wasn't in the North Tower now," Sirius muttered.

He arrived only a minute late and apologized, though McGonagall didn't seem concerned as she asked him to sit.

He did so, before hearing a little sniff of disagreement, and turned to find Umbridge back in the corner with a clipboard on her knees.

Lily's face pinched so tight she looked like she'd been skeletonized.

"What is that doing there," James spat, at least this was someone he'd never have to reconsider insulting to his last breath.

"I'm sure she has a pleasant reason," Sirius snarled.

McGonagall was treating as if she weren't even there, telling Potter to take a seat and beginning with what careers he'd considered so far.

Harry admitted his want of being an Auror, and McGonagall pulled a pamphlet to her and explained they E grades they required. It was a difficult path ahead, none had been taken on in the past three years.

"Tonks, if I remember correctly," Harry recalled with a slight smirk of a past late night dinner at Grimmauld place. "She was chatting how Moody himself had taken her on."

"Well I'm beyond pleased for the girl," Remus grinned. "She watches her feet a bit more and she'll be a right intimidation."

"I'm sure she's already got you shaking in your pants," Sirius snickered.

Neither Lily nor Harry bothered correcting him for the incorrect Muggle phrase, it made them smile too much.

At this moment, Professor Umbridge gave a very tiny cough, as though she was trying to see how quietly she could do it.

"All the easier to ignore her," James said almost pleasantly.

McGonagall ignored her, and began going into more details, such as Transfiguration-

Umbridge gave another cough a touch more pronounced, but McGonagall only closed her eyes for a moment before again ignoring her.

"Ha!" Sirius' sharp bark of laughter echoed loudly in the room, but all of them were grinning anyways for McGonagall's blatant dismissal of that broken purr.

She continued on slightly louder that Transfiguration would require an E to pass on into her NEWT classes, and as of now he was averaging an Acceptable.

James pouted slightly Harry had only the most passable of interest in his favorite subject, but at least they both still had Quidditch, at least if Harry ever bothered to speak to him again.

Then Potions of course, having to emphasize this one to him with a flickering smile for the look on his face.

Considering the face he'd just made in here, no one had to ask why McGonagall had done this one, they'd all made the same face.

Snape allowed nothing less than O grades in his class,

"I think he should have just been teaching those students period," Lily sighed. "He's no patience, maybe he wouldn't be such a bitter arse if he could teach those who could follow along better rather than young kids."

"If you're going to do that for one teacher, you should for all of them," Remus criticized. "I don't see Hogwarts inflating it's teacher population just because one teacher shouldn't even be there to handle all students."

Lily agreed, and honestly wondered why he was even there some days. He clearly had no love for his job, more than likely not even for the place itself. If all that was holding him there was some how connected to Dumbledore and whatever favor he'd done to keep him out of Azkaban for being a Death Eater, she did not find that a passable enough use for what he was doing to all of the students, not just Harry, in alienating them from a whole subject.

but then Umbridge gave her most pronounced cough yet, and McGonagall finally addressed her by demanding if she'd like a cough drop.

"More than I'd offer her," James snipped.

"I'd want to see how long we could go on ignoring her." Sirius wondered. "Would she stand up and start jumping around while doing that stupid cough, or just choke herself trying to do it. I'm personally voting for the second."

Umbridge declined, before asking if she could make the teensiest interruption?

"Clearly she can," Remus said through gritted teeth.

Then she wondered aloud if Potter had the temperament for an Auror?

"Oh?" Lily raised a sharp brow. "I find that he has quite the clear head in most situations, though he could use some improvement on who to dish it out on from time to time, but no one's perfect."

Harry blushed faintly for his mother's words, especially who he'd so recently put it on. He gave his dad another apologetic look, who again met his eyes and nodded in some form of mutual understanding and forgiveness.

McGonagall only gave this the barest of acknowledgments before continuing to Harry this took serious ambition,

"I've never said anything about being an Auror," Sirius went wide eyed in concern. "I'd never deny the world my good looks by taking one too many curses to the face, looking like Moody."

"You could take over Euphemia and Fleamont's business, it currently needs a face of the business now that they've passed on," Remus said with heavy sarcasm for Sirius and a sympathetic look at James; but he offered up a kind smile, knowing his parents would love the idea.

Sirius wasn't actually sure how he was supposed to respond to that statement. He didn't want to hurt Prongs' feelings with some snark nor in any way speak ill of two people he considered far more his parents than his own, so let Remus win this round, for now.

She'd advise him to concentrate as well on bringing his Transfiguration and Potions up to scratch.

"Considering there is no way in Merlin you are going to be able to get any kind of passing grade with Snape at the helm, I wouldn't hold my breath," Remus tisked.

Flitwick had been marking him between an A and an E the past two years, so that seemed good in his Charms work. As for Defences, he'd always been marked generally high, Professor Lupin in particular- was Dolores quite sure she didn't want something for that cough!

Sirius growled louder than ever for this constant interruption by that flea. "I wanted to hear that one!"

"I'm sure it was something more along the lines of what he excelled at in class," Remus shrugged, he'd never intentionally over qualify Harry for something no matter how much he loved the kid.

Umbridge feigned knowing what she meant,

"At some point you must not allow them to make that decision," James said with deadly calm.

"He means force feed the cough drop down her throat," Sirius pleasantly informed Harry like he'd missed the joke.

"Though I'm okay if it's something a bit larger that say, accidentally got stuck," James huffed.

as she mentioned McGonagall might not have the most recent scores of Potter's Defence Against the Dark Arts, she'd slipped something in.

"I'll recognize what that says when you recognize Voldemort's back you trumped up sugar plum," Lily scowled.

McGonagall extracted a pink sticky note from Harry's folder and gave it a dismissive read before continuing that Professor Lupin had found Potter had an aptitude for the subject-

Umbridge finally gave up the formality of the cough as she interrupted to say had McGonagall not understood her note?

"I understand that you need to shove it!" James snapped in outrage. How was Remus the only good teacher Harry had yet had! He didn't even count Moody all the way considering he'd in fact tried to kill his son!

McGonagall managed through gritted she'd understood it perfectly.

Umbridge didn't think so, as how could she give Potter false hope then-

"False hope?" Remus scowled. "Harry could be the next Minister if he wanted to!"

"I'd like to see him force Fudge out of office," James agreed with this idea, while Harry's face was turning more red than ever. McGonagall in her office, now those around him, he really didn't know how to handle people complimenting him so much.

McGonagall still hadn't even looked around at her as she demanded back what false hope? He'd achieved high marks in all Defence classes.

Umbridge said she was terribly sorry to correct her,

"No, no she's not," Sirius contradict just as pleasantly.

but her marks clearly showed his poor results while she was putting the class under correct tutelage-

"I wouldn't be surprised if she loses more of his grades than Snape, and that's saying something!" Sirius burst out.

This time McGonagall interrupted to clarify, he'd made high marks in all classes set by a competent teacher.

They all laughed in pure appreciation for McGonagall in that moment, but Remus utterly took the piss out of it. He began laughing so hard he nearly fell right out of his seat.

Sirius watched him indulgently until he'd subsided into a conversational level of giggling again before demanding, "care to share the joke?"

"That had to be the most insulting thing McGonagall ever could have said," Remus insisted, looking around at all of them like he couldn't understand why they hadn't already shared in the joke. "You do realize she just implied, as Harry has passed every exam up until this point, she meant all the previous DADA teachers were more competent than her." He paused, watched them do a head count, and then his grin somehow got wider. Even though they'd clearly taken the hint, he couldn't stop himself nodding and stating, "Lockhart trumped Umbridge, never thought I'd live hear it."

Sirius and James promptly started laughing just as hard as Remus had.

Professor Umbridge's smile vanished as suddenly as a light bulb blowing. She sat back in her chair, turned a sheet on her clipboard and began scribbling very fast indeed, her bulging eyes rolling from side to side.

"Warms my heart she finally has no response," Lily smirked all the wider, still somehow managing to make herself heard through the boys buoyant giggling.

McGonagall turned back to Harry, her nostrils flaring but forcing a calm voice as she asked if he had any questions.

Harry asked what would come after NEWTs?

McGonagall explained he'd need to demonstrate the ability to react well under pressure,

"Been there, done that," James mock yawned, finally recovering from McGonagall's wit, only to encourage this further.

as well as an extra three years in training. A lot more work and study will be going into this even after school-

Umbridge interrupted again, now in a cold flat voice,

"Argh, she couldn't just admit defeat and run off with her tail between her legs," Sirius grumbled.

"Toads don't have tales," Remus reminded. "Though I suppose her tongue would fit the scenario," he finished thoughtfully.

to remind that the Ministry also considered criminal records before hiring for this, which meant he had as much chance of being an Auror as Dumbledore coming back to this school.

"Ah, so by the end of the year then?" Lily happily stated.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Moody took him on now," James agreed without remorse. "If he came out of retirement for the war effort and is helping along Tonks, I'm sure he'd be all the more thrilled to pass along to Harry as well."

"My little cousin could be your partner," Sirius perked up at the idea.

Harry grinned at all of them, wanting to tell them they were getting far to ahead of themselves, but he couldn't seem to pull it together, just enjoying watching them all laugh again for something he could definitely join in on.

McGonagall said a very good chance then.

Umbridge shrilly returned Potter had a criminal record!

"He was cleared of all those wasteful charges," Lily declared acidly. "You can't just keep bringing them up at your leisure!"

"She was one that voted not to have them dropped at all," James needlessly reminded, a dark tone creeping back into his voice. "So I'm sure in her rainbow tinted world, they never were dropped."

McGonagall replied loudly he'd been cleared of all charges!

Umbridge took to her feet then, but she was so short this hardly made a difference, except now her demeanor somehow made the flabby face oddly sinister.

Remus cocked his head to one side, then the other, before saying, "nah, can't picture it."

"Don't underestimate her," James scolded, a calculating look in place. "I doubt she got where she was without hexing a few people along the way."

Remus still sniffed, he had trouble picturing anyone much of a threat against McGonagall.

Umbridge stated in no uncertain terms Potter held no chance of being an Auror.

McGonagall took to her feet as well, but in her case, it was a much more impressive display, she towered over Umbridge.

"I'm positive most first years do," Sirius sneered.

She returned she'd train Potter day and night to become an Auror, she'd coach him until he achieved every required result!

Far from blushing all the more as they would have suspected, Harry looked genuinely touched at the declaration. Of all the teachers there, he'd had the most interaction with McGonagall, the good and the bad. If she was declaring this, Harry had no doubts he had gone through with this career he'd so wanted at that age. Though he supposed, McGonagall could have wiped anyone into position for this job, Hagrid could become an Auror under McGonagall's tutelage.

Umbridge shouted the Minister would never employ Harry Potter!

"Then it's a good thing he won't be around long," Lily said flatly.

McGonagall shouted right back Fudge may not be Minister by the time he's ready to join.

Umbridge waved a stubby finger at McGonagall, a shriek of triumph taking place as she told this was the true answer! McGonagall wanted Fudge gone, so that Dumbledore could replace him! Then Minerva would have the Senior Undersecretary job, and Headmistress job all to herself!

"She's mad," James stated.

"We were well aware," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No, I mean it," James insisted, dumbfounded his friends were missing the point. "Before, we knew she was a tyrannical scum coated bigot, but she's utterly lost her mind!"

"She can't lose what she never had," Remus huffed.

McGonagall dismissed Harry from the room then,

"Congratulations Harry," Sirius said, still a little too wide eyed, "yours was far more interesting than ours put together."

"That seems to happen to me a lot," Harry muttered.

and Harry wasted no time exiting as McGonagall's and Umbridge's continued shouts echoed down the corridor behind him.

The Marauders looked just a touch frightened at this. They'd never seen McGonagall utterly lose her temper into shouting no matter what they'd ever done, and for this to have occurred was yet another new level of low on that webbed sugar-cookies part.

Umbridge still seemed in her foul mood as she strode into class that afternoon.

"Considering who left whose office, I can only imagine who won that fight," Sirius said with a shark like smile.

"Don't start celebrating to early Padfoot," Remus shook his head miserably. He might not find Umbridge the proper threat in being sinister on any level, but he'd never deny, "she does have the power to throw teachers out, and now permanently. I'm surprised there hasn't been another scene of her pressing a boot to Trelawney now that there's no one around to stop her, and McGonagall may be next sooner than Hagrid with this going on."

"She can't get rid of McGonagall," James said flatly at once. "There would be an absolute uprising, there's just too many who wouldn't stand for it."

"I would have thought the same about Dumbledore," Remus said with a creased brow, "but there hasn't been a peep from the outside world saying anyone disagrees with it."

They all paled in genuine fear now. Umbridge had complete and utter control of the school by its neck, but at least with McGonagall there it felt like there was something holding the woman's noose back. If McGonagall was gone though...

Harry by far looked the most upset at this idea, helping Lily to pull herself together first to keep going. She just couldn't entertain that idea, surely something of their school must remain until Umbridge could be foisted out of it.

Hermione hadn't let up her mission yet, leaning into Harry and telling him to reconsider already, Umbridge was clearly in a bad mood.

"As opposed to?" Lily rolled her eyes.

For just a moment, Harry was tempted not to. After what McGonagall had just pledged for him, to imagine the look on her face if she realized what Harry was doing mere hours after she'd stood up for him...

"Uroh," Sirius winced, for the first time reconsidering himself this idea.

"I honestly think she'll understand though," James said with a sideways look at Harry. "All she'd have to do is work out who you're talking to, she must know Harry wouldn't do this unless it was an emergency."

"I'm not sure I find your attitude as a teenager an emergency," Lily snipped, but there was no force to her words. Harry couldn't wait another month and a bit to see Sirius, or his thoughts about his father could grow worse. None of them could live through it if Harry somehow couldn't find it in himself to forgive James at fifteen like he was starting to in here.

The plan was already in motion though, and there was no sense in letting the twins distraction become fruitless. He did already have the knife and Invisibility Cloak in his bag.

James felt a grin accompany the light hearted feeling he always got when his son mentioned his cloak. He'd always imagined passing that onto him, seeing the childhood delight on his face and growing up learning how best to use it. Surely Harry couldn't find him all bad if he still treasured something like that same look on his face suggested.

Hermione was still going, reminding him Dumbledore had sacrificed himself so Harry could stay in school, was he really going to just throw that away for nothing!

"I disagree, at some point this school wasn't worth staying in," James scowled.

"Right around the time students were getting their hands sliced open," Sirius agreed.

Lily spent a moment wondering if Hermione would have been less reproving of this plan if she'd known the reason, but then, maybe even still. She got angry enough hearing this one talk about one of her friends, she didn't like to think what Hermione would say about her husband in that light, even if she would have said it all herself in the past.

He could wait of course, talk to Sirius this summer, but then he remembered what Sirius had said to him, that he was less like his father than he'd thought.

Sirius actually felt like he was kicked while down. "I, I never meant-" he couldn't find the words. He hated what he'd said to Harry then, he'd never want to pretend Harry was James for even a second, that would not bring back his dead brother no matter how much he wished it, but this was now. Maybe then...

Harry couldn't think of anything to say. He felt like he'd let Sirius down by worrying so much for him, but at the same time could not force the feeling to leave him alone either this was for the best. If Sirius did come back out- he stopped his thoughts cold, he couldn't imagine the worse outcome, he wouldn't!

But did he want to be like his father any more?

"I-" Harry began, but seemed as lost for words as Sirius. His initial feelings for the memory had faded mostly, but he still had no answer for that at fifteen. Here though, the man he'd met, he knew he loved his dad without a doubt, so he did speak with sincerity, "certainly the father I've met."

James jerked in surprise, he hadn't dared look at Harry for that answer, and was so overcome by the shock of that warmth going through him now he was the one who was failing English.

Harry realized he'd struck him dumb, and turned to Sirius, "and I was only ever afraid of disappointing you, because I could never be like that."

Sirius choked how Harry could ever draw that conclusion, and drew himself up proud before stating, "absolutely impossible. You'll always be my godson, even if you'd turned out like Moony instead."

"Hey," Remus frowned, while Sirius smirked at getting a real laugh out of Harry again.

"Be grateful, he could have said me," Lily pointed out, though that only made Remus look at her with even more offense as she kept going.

Ron finally told her to give it a rest, he could make up his own mind.

"I miss watching Ron stand up to her," Remus said. "I don't think he's done much of that since the Yule Ball."

"I think it's good for them, helps keep in mind how they became friends in the first place," Lily chuckled.

The bell rang, people began filing out of class, and not moments later there was a tremendous shake that seemed to rain across the whole castle. Umbridge went past them, pulling her wand as she went, it was now or never.

"Even if you don't go through with it," James said heavily, forcing himself to say something that tore at his soul, "the least you could do is check out what the distraction was." He probably wouldn't hear a word of it anyways, he genuinely feared if Harry didn't go through with this he'd really grow up hating him...but he'd never wish for Harry to go through with this either if he had any doubts about Sirius as well. If his own memory had to be tarnished for Harry to somehow find peace in talking to Sirius later, he'd just have to accept that.

Harry laughed freely, but then blinked in surprise as he registered the tone. He looked worriedly to both his parents, only understanding that they were worried about him getting caught.

Hermione tried one last time, but he'd made up his mind;

Lily made a small squeaking noise to hide her glee, beyond elated Harry was pushing through with this. If anyone could talk to Harry now, it must be Sirius, he'd set him right!

Pushing through crowds until he had a second alone, he donned the cloak and went to Umbridge's office, easily inserting the knife, and the door swung open.

"I never suspected it wouldn't work," Remus said with a toothy grin, so much of this trying to cause flashbacks to the time they'd snuck into Professor Eros' office for entirely different evidence of something, but quite the familiar set up.

He went to work at once inside the kitten and pink laced office, going straight to her fireplace behind the desk and finding the pot of green ash that was the Floo powder. He'd never done this before, but he had the idea of it. He bent down on his knees, activated the network, and shoved his head in, shouting his desired address.

"Oh," Sirius hated to interrupt even in surprise, but couldn't stop his mouth saying, "I honestly thought you were going to appear there and come back, but I guess this works too."

"I'm enjoying it all the more," James suddenly let out a burst of laughter. "Can you imagine your reaction?"

It was a very curious sensation, usually his whole body was spinning like a top through the magically connected fireplaces, but now his knees remained firmly grounded as his head hurtled through.

"It's not a feeling you exactly get used to either," Sirius rubbed at his neck in remembrance.

Harry was just all the more impressed Sirius put up with doing it then, especially repeatedly several times in one night just for a quick chat with Harry like he'd been known to do.

It stopped soon enough, and Harry was looking at the legs of the chairs and table of the familiar kitchen, with a man sitting at said table looking over some parchment.

"Seems you actually interrupted him doing something for once," James said with a small smile, at least it was better than seeing him passed out at the table.

He called to get Sirius' attention, but was just as surprised as Lupin was to hear his voice.

Four of them let out a surprised laugh, it was like gaining an extra unexpected gift for Moony's timing!

Remus didn't exactly feel like joining in, but he certainly had a bemused smile on his face for this set of circumstances.

He demanded at once if Harry was alright.

"Worry wart," James rolled his eyes.

"I don't blame him," Lily shook her head. "There's not a whole lot of reason for him to be showing up like that unless something did happen."

"Then you're both worry warts," James decided, while Lily ignored him.

Harry said he was fine, he just wanted a chat with Sirius.

Still looking perplexed,

"I don't blame you," Lily insisted while both James and Sirius were fighting back smiles.

he said he'd go fetch him, he was looking for Kreacher in the attic.

Harry shivered deeply, he did not like that response at all! Then he realized he gave them quite the wrong impression, clear worry back at once Sirius may say something all the worse for this day. He tried to think of something to say, but could offer nothing from his cursed mind.

He only had to wait moments, but even still he began shifting his knees uncomfortably back at Hogwarts, why hadn't Sirius ever mentioned how uncomfortable this was?

"I wouldn't dream of it," Sirius scoffed, replaying the few conversations he'd had with Harry in his time, and the thought of complaining of a single moment of them for his knees sake was sacrilege.

Sirius came back right on Lupin's heels, both now demanding if he needed some kind of help.

Harry said no, and only stalled for a moment before saying he'd just wanted to talk about his dad.

Lily couldn't help but pause for a moment to just appreciate how out of the blue this would be for the two of them. Harry had given no indication he'd at all brought this up in the almost two years he'd known Sirius, and now out of nowhere he was begging for answers from them in this situation. She'd be on edge if she didn't know what was going on as well.

Refusing to let himself paused any more in embarrassment, he launched into the story he'd seen in Snape's Pensive.

"Oh I'm sure they loved that," James ruffled up his brow as he knew that would only feel all the harsher to them fifteen years later. The day had not been one of particular note to the Marauders, but they'd well remember what it was for Lily, and it would only cause a stirring in them for other things their life was now without.

When he finished, Lupin began Harry shouldn't judge him too harshly, he'd only been fifteen-

Harry heatedly interrupted so was he!

"That wasn't the best way to start," Lily agreed with that protest.

"You try defending this git," Remus tried to poke fun instead of wincing for not starting off that well.

"I'd have thought you'd have more practice," Lily tried to mimic his fun, though both quickly stopped as James couldn't even muster up a smile.

Sirius cut in by choosing to explain it as Snape had hated James from the moment they'd been in the same room. James had been popular, good at Quidditch, good at everything, and Snape had been the exact opposite.

"I'm not actually sure that's helping Padfoot," James told him even as he smirked from atop his pedestal.

"Shove it before I take a pin to your head," Sirius told him pleasantly without a hint of remorse, as that's how Harry should always remember a father who couldn't be there for his child.

He was an oddball who was only good at the Dark Arts, and no matter what that memory implied, James always hated the Dark Arts.

Harry didn't disagree with that, but he couldn't understand why they'd done it just because Sirius was bored.

Sirius at once said he wasn't proud of that!

"Aren't you though?" Lily couldn't help the ice chipped tone.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth, considered his words carefully for once in his life because of that fragile look still on Lily's face, and stated, "in a way. Seeing Harry like this," he gave a wave to the still unpleasant frown on him. "I'd never wish what Dudley did to him on anyone. I'd never want to be thought of as someone's Dudley, but-" he seemed to have no ability to stop himself saying, "I can't pretend like I'd go back and change anything. He was just as at fault as the lot of us, and it gets really sickening watching you pretend he was always the victim."

"I never said he was," Lily shook her head sadly, now looking more imploringly at James than anyone even as she answered Sirius. "I told him off weekly for being as bad as you, I just wanted one of you to step up and stop." Finishing with a furling grin at her husband, "guess it's obvious who did," before looking to Harry, who nodded slowly as he accepted all this.

Lupin looked sideways at Sirius,

"Probably for everything he just said," Remus shook his head fondly, it was a nice change he still knew what Sirius was thinking on some level, and he could easily imagine all he'd just said to Lily had passed through his head. Even without having full knowledge of Dudley, that accusatory look lingering on Harry's face the past hour in here would be heavier than ever while facing the two of them.

but also said that James and Sirius had been the champions of the school, sometimes they got carried away-

Sirius cut in to repaint themselves as arrogant berks.

"There it is," Lily couldn't help but say affectionately.

"I'm the one who said it!" Sirius protested.

"I know," Lily told him with a fond scold.

Lupin did not disagree, but smiled.

Harry painfully told of his dad messing up his hair.

Sirius and Lupin just laughed.

None did in here. They were all used to his habit of that, but it caused a dead feeling in them to suddenly recognize all over again how long it would have been for those two to have seen that.

Sirius said he'd forgotten he used to do that,

Sirius's eyes stung hard for a moment. The thought of Azkaban hanging over his life felt like a death sentence more than ever if he could ever forget something so common place of his brother...

When Harry agreed, Lupin asked for more, had he been playing with the Snitch? Harry agreed again, and the two smiled even more with reminisce as Lupin concluded he'd thought him an idiot.

"I am no such thing!" James mock huffed.

"I still do," Remus said as if he hadn't spoken.

Sirius agreed of course he was, they all had been, though Moony the least of all.

Lupin did not agree, saying he'd never told them to lay off Snape.

"On a rare occasion," James disagreed with a nostalgic shrug.

"More for the times where he didn't feel like having to put up a counter curse for us that day, then if we still ignored him, he still wouldn't do it," Sirius smirked.

"We never did learn our lesson of heading him though," James finished with an easy smile once again for Harry looking on at them bright eyed for their old life again.

Sirius agreed with that, but he had made them feel ashamed sometimes.

"Usually after the accidents where someone got hurt we hadn't meant to," Remus told Lily and Harry. "Like that time they tried out some new hex on Aubrey Bertram and her head inflated, when they had no clue what it would actually do."

"Hey, we got detention for that one!" Sirius protested, "I didn't think that lecture on using new spells on the students was necessary," he finished petulantly.

Harry cut in though, determined to say all that was on his mind, about Lily hating him! Why had she married him?

Lily looked pitifully to her son. She wished more than anything he'd grown up knowing how untrue that was...for the last few years of her life anyways. She wanted to take the chance and answer him now though. "You know, he stopped asking me out in our sixth year."

Harry looked to her in genuine surprise for that, as she nodded slowly, now lost back in thought. "I noticed it at once, and I was so confused, and after the first month, I was even jealous. I couldn't understand, had he finally moved on? He actually did it, he went a whole year and left me be, and I actually missed the wanker, well when he wasn't being a wanker. He still had his moments like when he told Professor Vector the wrong calculation on purpose just so he could insult the subject, for the umpteenth time."

Harry burst out in surprised laughter as she affectionately recalled. "I was feeling really alone that year, not having made many very good friends outside of Snape, and now that he and I weren't speaking I'd gone back and subconsciously been expecting at least one thing to remain normal. Potter didn't though, and for once I started watching him instead of the other way around. I saw him actually interacting with his friends outside of insulting the student body, I watched him teach this little first year how to fly in a secret flying practice because he was crying he didn't want to be made a fool of. I actually watched James, instead of Potter." She finished with a winning smile at her suddenly flustered husband, he'd never realized that!

She finished with nothing but love in her tone, "that's why the next year, when I heard him talking about Nick's Deathday Party, I put myself into the conversation. I got a reflex reaction," she busted out giggling upon remembering his face when he'd been talking to Peter about this thing, both had gone silent as if struck dumb. "It worked of course, he asked me if I'd like to go with him, and I couldn't help but say yes."

"You nearly gave the poor man heart failure," Remus told her happily. "He wouldn't speak for the rest of the day, then he convinced himself all the next day you were pulling his leg, then-"

"Let's just say your first date with Cho wasn't even as bad a build up as poor Prongs'," Sirius finished with an old chuckle.

"Then I got to dance with her," James finally got his want back, as she curled back into his side, her red hair falling across his chest as she closed her eyes for a moment in contentment. "Glory I was living a dream come true, still am honestly," he finished with a peck to her temple.

Harry watched all of this as if living out his own dream, a childhood one he'd envisioned many times. Any kid at his school could tell a story of how their parents met, apparently it was quite the common thing for a child to know, but he felt like for the first time in his life he was really getting that answer.

Lily lazily opened her eyes back up to look at his hazel ones, but she did force herself to turn back to the book then. She considered it a mission success, if Harry still harbored any bad feelings towards his father after that, than they certainly couldn't see a trace of them now.

Sirius dismissed this, Lupin agreeing they'd started going out in their seventh year, Sirius agreeing once James had deflated his head a bit, Lupin adding on once he'd stopped hexing people for fun.

Harry confirmed even Snape?

Lupin was slow to answer this one, pointing out Snape never missed a chance to curse James, and his father couldn't take that lying down.

"I thought you'd already realized this from all we've said," James said uneasily, he hadn't been shy of sharing those kinds of facts in here, so Harry's extreme reaction again was bothering him for that.

"I guess I didn't put together how, dirty it got," he tried to explain. "I don't know, when you guys tell it, it sounds like you were just goofing off. That, wasn't," he finished bluntly.

James held his hands up in surrender, not looking for another fight with Harry, and if he hadn't spoken both sides fairly enough he supposed that was impossible anyways and done with.

Harry asked his mother was okay with that?

Sirius wasn't aware she even knew anymore,

Lily made a very obvious noise as she looked at him, and Sirius just looked at her dumbly.

"Did you think I was oblivious?" She demanded of him. "Yet I also got a far more, perspective look on them," she conceded.

"I never hid anything from her," James agreed, still watching Harry. "If we still dueled now and again, she was the first one at the hospital wing to tell me I was being an idiot."

"Rather than in the bed next to him like those idiots," Lily shook her head.

James had hardly taken Snape on dates to jinx him for entertainment for her.

"I suggested he should once," Sirius told her pleasantly. "It would be the perfect way for the three of you to really reconcile-"

He stopped with a sharp smack to his head from Moony telling him to shut up, sometimes that did work after all.

Sirius frowned when Harry still didn't look convinced, so he emphasized his best friend had been the best man in his life, a good person.

Lily couldn't stop her throat tightening off for a moment, she could feel the weight of those words, how true Sirius would always mean them. He loved Remus and Peter, but James was the first person he'd ever considered family. She just couldn't imagine for him what it would be like to lose that.

Harry finally agreed with this, saying he'd just never expected to feel sorry for Snape.

Lupin decided to change the subject by asking how Snape had reacted to find Harry in that thing?

Harry gave an indifferent answer that he'd just shouted he'd never teach him Occlumency again, not like he was disappointed-

Sirius shouted that back so loudly Harry coughed ashes.

Lupin demanded if Harry was serious?

Lily kept reading loudly over her obnoxious friend, she didn't want to hear any variant of the same joke in two breaths, honestly thinking no amount of time should have stopped Remus from losing track of that joke.

Harry looked at the two overreactions in surprise, saying he found it a relief-

Sirius declared he was going up there, even getting to his feet as if to do so that moment, but Lupin pulled him back down;

"Wow," James said the word slowly and carefully.

"I, think we've been underestimating this crap," Sirius agreed with a creased brow.

"I think Dumbledore was really confident Occlumency was supposed to help more than we were thinking," Remus corrected. "So if we believed him," he trailed off with a miserable shake to his head, though at least their past actions made a bit more sense now. Taking Dumbledore at word would mean sharp fears of what was happening to Harry now they were hearing otherwise.

"I'm not sure why you stopped him," James told Remus with a slight pout, then he quickly stopped the rest of his train of thought escaping, now very much aware James provoking a fight between Snape and Sirius would not be received well by his son.

Saying firmly if anyone was going to have words with Snape, it would be him.

"I wouldn't recommend that one anymore though!" James said with honest fear. Not after the last time Snape had been around Remus, or almost Moony.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus demanded. "I can handle myself just as well."

"Sirius has more practice," James said shrewdly.

First though, Harry was to go back and tell Snape he was not to stop! When Dumbledore heard-

"He'll sack him?" Sirius offered hopefully.

"How would that fix his problem of, he stopped giving Harry lessons," Lily reminded him of why he was being an idiot.

"I can still dream," Sirius huffed.

Harry said back he couldn't do that, Snape would kill him!

Lupin was being stern though, there was nothing more important than this!

Lily still couldn't help but frown at the intensity of that. Rather than that tone, she wished Remus would just explain already why Dumbledore was so convinced Occlumency would work, that was the only thing she could put together for Remus' tenacity of the same.

Harry agreed, if still annoyed doing so.

"Doesn't seem to have had much of an impact," Remus said tersely, clearly Sirius should have been the one to say that.

Sirius looked to him in sympathy, many things he wanted to say to Moony for this moment bouncing around in his head. He wished as much as him Harry felt more for James' last friend, he knew he felt plenty of gratitude that clearly Remus was still coming back in to check on him. That killing blow of a reminder James may not always be in his life left him more grateful than ever to still have Moony even in this bleak future, but he held himself back for the simple wish this would never have to come true, they would always be around for none of this to ever have to take place.

Then he heard footsteps, and asked if that was someone coming into the kitchen?

Sirius said no in surprise, must be from his end.

"Bloody hell," James yelped in a sudden upsurge of fear.

Harry's heart skipped a beat as she shouted he had to go before wrenching his head back.

"Bloody hell," Sirius couldn't help but parrot, but he had quite a look on his face that wasn't all fear for Harry. "You do realize," he told Remus, "he actually didn't explain much of anything to us about why he was there. Just stop for a moment and think what we would have said to each other when Harry just popped out like that."

Remus did smile, for just a moment, at imagining him and Sirius reminiscing for hours about their good times, trying to even move past that and make even better plans for their future. This finally was that warmth they'd been missing between them since that third book, some promise their lives couldn't ever break apart. James had been the glue to pull them all together in school, and Remus knew he'd still be enough to do the same without even having to be there.

He bolted at once under his cloak as Filch muttered to himself just outside the door how grateful he was she'd left it open.

"But she didn't!" Lily squeaked in concern. "Now she'll know someone was in there."

"She's no proof it was Harry," James tried to placate, though that made none of them feel better, as Umbridge had never needed more than a passing glance to go after Harry after that first day.

In an honest effort just to distract the two, Sirius instead offered the question, "what if the door wasn't open for him though, how would Filch get in for, well whatever even he's there for."

"If Umbridge sent him there, that means she's got a reason for not doing it herself," Remus reasoned out slowly. "Perhaps in her haste of casting him off, neither of them realized the roadblock of her magicking her door shut."

"He'd just have had to turn around and go get her anyways," James agreed with the logic even if he was still on edge.

"Still a warning I would have heard," Harry told soothingly, he had an odd smile on his face. It was very clear that just talking about all this with Sirius had helped Harry out of his misgivings with his dad, and now there was going to be something quite savory to finish off this night...

He rummaged through Umbridge's desk, Harry staying where he was, crouched and invisible as Filch muttered to himself to find the form for approval of whipping, they'd had it coming to them for years!

Lily inhaled sharply as she read that. Of all the laws the Ministry had been passing of late, even the stupidest of them all, she still hadn't believed they could ever approve of something so cruel!

"He wouldn't really go through with it though," for the first time, James sounded uncertain, this was just so above anything he'd coped with at school, "right?" He finished pitifully towards his friends.

Neither had the breath to answer him, the idea of actually whipping a student wasn't bearable, and they'd thought they'd hit that limit after what Umbridge had done to Harry!

He finally seemed to have found it, as he grasped a paper and began kissing it before shuffling back away faster than Harry had ever seen him move. He waited carefully before following, waited until he was a safe distance from Umbridge's office, and then took off the cloak to continue following him to the Entrance Hall, and found a scene very much like before when Trelawney was being sacked. The two differences were Peeves floating above the crowd, and the twins in the center.

"Oh no," Sirius muttered, his eyes widening in concern. He couldn't imagine the scenario of what happened for Harry walking in on, but it was nothing good. He'd become incensed over Umbridge going near Harry, but he adored the twins as if he'd personally gotten to know them as well. The idea of Filch actually-

They were all grateful when Lily kept going even if it was in pitch fear for the twins well being. Then again, if so much as one lash was given to them, thanks to that clock of hers; Molly was likely to appear in the school and start murdering whatever was pink in sight, so nothing too bad could happen.

Umbridge was again slightly up the staircase, gazing down at them as she spoke of how funny they must think themselves, setting up a swamp in her school corridor?

"They did what!" James demanded, actually wrenching the book from Lily's grip to see this with his own proud eyes.

"Give that back," Lily scolded, holding her hand out impatiently as he reluctantly returned it.

Still, she couldn't help but pause at an all new level of the twins' genius. She'd give them credit where it was due for originality.

Fred agreed it was pretty amusing, without the slightest trace of fear.

"The proper response then," Sirius still managed with chipper even as his eyes tracked Lily's every twitch, waiting for the blow to fall one way or the other.

Filch elbowed his way closer to Umbridge, almost crying with happiness.

Lily was as disgusted with Filch as she was with Umbridge. Everyone had always found the man a joke, but now that it was clear he was being given his free reign to do as please, he wasn't just trying to spook kids anymore, he really meant it.

He begged the headmistress to let him do it now!

Umbridge agreed Argus could go fetch what he liked, telling the twins they would be her example of wrongdoers in her school.

Fred gave the pleasant return he didn't think so, George agreeing they'd outgrown full time education. Fred decided it was time they test their talents in the real world.

"What on earth," Remus only just had time to string together at what those two were up to when Lily kept going, hardly pausing for breath.

As one, they raised their wands, and summoned their brooms with the Accio charm.

There was a resounding crash, and Harry only just ducked in time as the two objects came hurtling forward, one even still dragging it's heavy chain that had it bolted to the wall.

James was vibrating in his seat, the urge to laugh being smothered so he could hear every word almost leaving his head ringing like a gong.

They mounted in the shocked silence, with one last parting word to the students that their premises for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was to be found in Diagon Alley,

"One last shot of upsells, in case anyone's missed it by now," Remus gave an approving nod even as he felt like his head was floating above his shoulders from such unending feelings about this.

and a special discount to anyone from Hogwarts to use their product to rid this bat.

"But by the time they'll be able to go to the store, she'll be gone," Sirius reminded viciously, as the last break of the school year had already passed, and they could not wait for the rest of this book to be the same.

Umbridge came to her senses and shouted for them to be stopped, but no one had time as they went up into the air, that iron peg nearly taking one of the Inquisitorial Squad members head off.

"I hope they never took that off," Harry whispered, blinking slowly at the book as finally some happy memory was restored to him again.

They only stopped long enough to ask Peeves to give her hell from them.

Peeves, whom Harry had never once seen taken an order, gave a bow of understanding.

Then Fred and George wheeled off into the sunset.

Then they all promptly collapsed with laughter.

HPHPHPHP

Dang this was an emotionally heavy chapter, though good practice for a particular one to come...

Anyways, hope this chapter was worth the wait, but I really did feel like these were a two part chapter more than any others before or after it. Like this and the previous all could have been one mega long chapter. Okay, to the point, I know some people's minds will never change, and they'll always view what James and Sirius did as the worst act possible and they're just terrible people. I never saw them that way, and even if you still disagree, I hope I at least offered a new perspective even if you didn't agree with that either.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #OotP #Marauders #James and Harry talk #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #Jilly

[beyondconfessor]

Principle Decisions [23/27]

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Zelda Spellman/Lilith

Summary: “You said one,” she reminded. “Now you’re going to be a good girl and follow the rest of the itinerary.”

N.B.: Also posted on AO3. Remember, this is just fantasy, please suspend your disbelief. 

Zelda awoke to a mouth on her neck, kissing down her throat and shoulder, before she inhaled the scent of coffee.

Opening her eyes, Zelda looked up to see Lilith standing before her in nothing but a bathrobe with a mug of french press coffee. “Good morning, darling. I had a peek at your itinerary and noticed that you were looking to leave in the next hour, so I thought that you might want to wake-up, despite how cute you are.”

Zelda shifted up, feeling her chest flutter at the thought that, although Lilith didn’t understand her itinerary's purpose, she understood that it was important to Zelda.

“Thank you,” Zelda said, taking the mug of coffee and bringing it to her lips. “What did you think about the plan?”

“Breakfast at the hotel, then a walk around the park, before arriving at the art gallery where it was noted that you expect me to provide you with a grande tour.” Lilith paused to pose dramatically, which only further served to reveal her naked body beneath the robe.

Zelda's eyes dropped, shamelessly admiring the view as she nodded. “You did promise, after all.”

“I’m not sure an open-ended comment about what the girlfriend experience deluxe may have involved like consists of…promising. But for you? I’ll make the exception.” At that, Lilith’s hand reached forward, tilting Zelda’s eyes to face hers. “Thought you might be worn out from last night.”

“Hardly.”

Lilith's hand shifted to cup her cheek before she leaned forward and kissed her again. “I should get ready,” Lilith advised, “Before I distract you any further.”

Zelda smiled, sipping her coffee.

By the time she’d finished waking up, Lilith had dressed and began to do her hair and makeup as Zelda started to dress, feeling anticipation prickle at her skin. Lilith’s punishment was forming clearer and more explicit in her mind, and as she watched Lilith comb her fingers through her hair, fixing wayward strands into place, she couldn’t help but imagine what she’d look like caught in ecstasy where she couldn’t let go.

Zelda dug into her bag, pulling the desired item out while Lilith remained distracted before hiding it behind her back.

“Lilith,” she said, calling her attention. “There’s one more thing for today.”

Lilith turned and looked at her, expression shifting into surprise, before they darkened with desire, hearing the purr in Zelda’s voice. “Oh? And what other things might this be?”

Zelda looked over Lilith’s outfit, delighted to see that the woman opted to wear a dress with woollen stockings. Zelda stepped closer until she kissed Lilith’s lips, uncaring towards their lipstick as she drew Lilith’s dress up.

Lilith shifted, allowing herself to pressed against the wall as she kissed back hungrily, unaware as Zelda tugged the underwear aside and stroked gently over the sex, feeling Lilith’s arousal grow underneath her touch. She slid two fingers inside, stroking there too, and then, with her other hand, slid the butterfly vibrator into place.

Lilith gasped against her and then laughed. “Is that how it is?” Lilith said.

“I can take it out,” Zelda said,, but she reached into her pocket and tested the remote control before she did. She couldn’t hear it hum, but Lilith tensed, a moan drawing in her throat. “But you were…entirely wicked last night in disobedience. Think of this as an encouragement to follow the rules.”

“Are you going to make me walk around like this?” Lilith asked.

Zelda swallowed. She was going to say there was no way in Hell that she would ever make Lilith do anything, and then she felt Lilith’s hand slide over the hand holding the remote control, her thumb shifted the vibration higher, until she was gasping again, a gasp pulling from her as she pressed closer to Zelda.

“For as long as it takes you to learn your lesson,” Zelda advised, feeling her anxiety ease.

She kissed her again, fixing Lilith’s underwear back into place before she adjusted the dress down over her thighs. She could feel Lilith tensing, her thighs trembling as she teetered closer and closer.

Zelda turned off the toy and stepped back, watching as Lilith panted, leaning back against the wall. “We have an itinerary to keep,” she reminded, before looking away to the mirror and fixing her lipstick. Taking her coat, she pulled it on and slid the remote control into her pocket.

Lilith remained against the wall, her cheeks red, breath heavy and slow before she grinned over at Zelda, shaking her head. “I never would have expected the shivering woman on my doorstep to become so cocky.”

“Cocky?” Zelda scoffed, pulling her jacket tighter around her. “You haven’t seen me at my worst. Now, shall we? I don’t enjoy being off schedule.”

They stepped out to the hallway and then summoned the elevator. As they waited, Lilith stood beside her, looking stunning as she smirked at Zelda. “What are you thinking to have for breakfast?”

“I’ll have to see what they have on offer.”

Once inside the mirrored carriage, Zelda paused, ensuring Lilith looked relaxed and unaware before reaching into her pocket.

Lilith caught the movement too late, and Zelda watched as the woman’s eyes fluttered shut, her lips parting as the remote was dialled up to a higher setting. A high, sharp moan exhale from her as she bowed her head forward.

“Careful,” Zelda told her. “Anyone could walk in.” She pressed the controls off and watched again as Lilith exhaled.

She moved closer, her hip pressing against Lilith’s. Part of her wanted to slide up the dress and feel how soaked the underwear was, now that they were barely out of the hotel room, but as she considered doing it, the doors opened, and a man was stepping in, pressing for the ground floor.

Zelda smirked, looking at Lilith, and watched as the woman stared back, her eyes flicking to where Zelda’s hands were before looking back up to her eyes. Uncertain as to what was to happen next. Would Zelda do it, press the control here, with someone else present?

She wouldn’t, but the threat was there, and she enjoyed watching as Lilith’s chest rose and fell, uncertain as to which situation was worse and to how much she wanted it.

Zelda reached out, entwining her fingers with Lilith’s, and squeezed. It was a promise, a reminder between them that no matter what, if the other spoke, if they requested the game to stop, they would-–no explanation required.

Lilith squeezed her fingers back, and then the doors opened up to the ground.

They ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant, with Lilith’s eyes carefully watching her, a tentativeness in it before she softened. The conversation drifted as Lilith asked about which Art Museum they’d be attending before discussing her own history with the arts and its patrons.

It coloured an exciting picture of a young, starving Lilith using exhibition openings as a way to feed herself, drinking free alcohol and talking to artists by pure chance whilst dining on platters of fruit, cheese, and cold meats.

Lilith then moved to speak of her experience doing modelling for live drawings, and Zelda said of her own experience for partners. All the while, Zelda toyed with the control in her pocket, fiddling with it only to see Lilith’s expression shift in anticipation before Zelda smirked and pushed the conversation elsewhere.

Zelda’s eyes caught the clock on the wall, showing the growing hour. “I think we should traverse through the park if the weather holds.”

Lilith stood, and just as she was standing, Zelda pressed it and watched as Lilith froze, stumbling before she looked up at her. “You’re evil,” she hissed.

Zelda rose, standing beside her as she nudged up the control. Lilith’s jaw clenched, her brow pressing as she swallowed back whatever noise was building in her throat. “No,” Zelda said, whispering low. “Evil would be making you come right here, over and over until I was satisfied that you couldn’t take another.” She flicked the control off, watching the red bloom over Lilith’s skin. “But we have an itinerary to follow.”

They exited the hotel, the cold air washing over them. Zelda reached into her pockets, pulling her gloves on, and watched as Lilith did the same.

Zelda took a deep breath, feeling the cool air fill her lungs as she tilted her head to look up at the sky. It was likely to snow later, but for now, it was just a cold winter’s day, with thick cloud cover. Stepping closer to Lilith, she slid her hand around the woman’s waist, feeling an eased comfort of the woman being there.

They walked through the streets together, stopping to get takeaway coffees to keep their hands warm, and then both of them spent the next ten minutes complaining about how horrible the coffees were before discarding them when they no longer supplied warmth.

It was easy to laugh with Lilith, to pause as they waited for street lights to change, and see her expression shift as she caught her staring. Zelda could feel her chest tighten, warmth spilling through her as she looked at her.

She felt at ease, not worrying about work, or family, or life. It was as if, for one weekend, she could pretend that she was allowed to be selfish.

Lilith made her happy in a way she couldn’t remember.

She couldn’t remember laughing so hard that her head tossed back, but with Lilith, it became easy as the woman ran through her first babysitting experience when she’d been in her mid-twenties. Detailing the horror of a child coming across her growing collection of restraints and having to lie to the kid that she was secretly a police officer.

“Did you ever want children?” Lilith asked. “Before Sabrina?”

“I did,” Zelda said. “But Sabrina came before I found any partner I wanted that with.”

“Do you still want children?”

“No,” Zelda said. “For a while, I considered it. And then…” she paused, swallowing as she felt painful memories rise up. She wanted to push them away and snuff them down, never remember them. But Lilith had been so open and so candid with her.

“We can talk about something else,” Lilith said softly, pausing on the path to look at her. “There are ducks over there.”

Zelda glanced over her shoulder and looked at what, decidedly, were not ducks. If anything, they looked to be a collection of sculptures. “You need to get your eyes checked,” she said before smiling at her, watching as Lilith blinked back at her, uncertain if she was jesting or not.

“You can’t see them?”

Zelda laughed, reaching to Lilith’s jackets and tugged at the labels. “When we return home, I kindly request you have your eyes checked.”

Lilith frowned and then looked away. “Fine. But you’ll have to come with me to hold my hand.”

At that, Zelda tried to swallow back a laugh, “Are you telling me that you’re afraid of the optometrist?”

“Deathly,” Lilith said before laughing.

Zelda warmed at the sound, feeling her arm lace around Lilith’s waist again, their steps slow and steady as they tried to find sync with one another. The conversation had shifted, but Zelda could still feel the question pressing between them. “Faustus, as you know, is married to Constance,” she said.

Lilith paused, nodding. “I did hear that.”

“They had a set of twins, a girl, and a boy. Judas and Leticia,” she explained. “But Constance ended up suffering postpartum depression after giving birth. She was hospitalised, and during that time, only I was privy to what occurred. Faustus was so overwhelmed with having the two children and knowing I had experience…requested if I could take care of Leticia.”

Lilith nodded, though she didn’t say anything, and for that, Zelda was thankful. It made it easier to continue.

“I had thought it would only be for a week or two while he reached out to the family. But a week turned to months, and I ended up looking after Leticia for…over six months. And then, out of nowhere, one morning, I woke up, and Constance was at the door acting as if I had only babysat for the weekend. Leticia was given back, and…” Zelda paused then, feeling her eyes prick. “I wasn’t her mother; I had no right to her but––“

“You cared for a child during her most fragile development,” Lilith said. “I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been to have her leave.”

Zelda paused at that, feeling an unusual tug at her heart at the words. “I suppose,” she said softly. “I think I fooled myself into thinking I might…get to keep her,” she said, feeling herself taste the words out loud for the first time. She hadn’t dared to say such a thing to Hilda, let alone Ambrose or Sabrina. But she looked to Lilith, feeling a trepidation that she might get judged.

It wasn’t her child.

Constance was Leticia’s mother, just as Diana was Sabrina’s. She’d only been a guardian. Only ever would be a guardian, and that should be enough.

It was enough.

Lilith’s arm wrapped around her, hugging her close. “You’re a good mother, Zelda. Leticia was lucky to have you, if only for a short while, and god knows Sabrina has turned into the woman she is because of you.”

“Oh, headstrong?”

“Well, I would have said authoritative, but yes, you can be headstrong too,” she teased, kissing her temple. “But it’s an admirable trait.”

“You haven’t been on the receiving end of it.”

“Mm. I don’t know about that,” Lilith teased, “Where are we on the itinerary, by the way?”

Zelda softened, reaching into her pocket to pull out her phone. She felt Lilith tense, anticipating the remote control, but Zelda bypassed it and flicked through her phone out, stepping away from Lilith’s arms to look at the time. “We have time to stroll.”

“Oh, to stroll do we?”

Zelda hummed, taking Lilith’s arm in hers once more and pressing her head to Lilith’s shoulder. “Stroll,” she confirmed. “And you can tell me about how you and Marie met.”

“Oh, now that is a story,” Lilith said. “I was in the peak of my career and no longer a starving ragamuffin on the street, so––“

“You lived on the street?” Zelda asked.

Lilith flushed. “For a time,” she admitted, “But it was a very long ago, and only for a few months. Now––“

“Why were you on the street?”

“Zelda,” Lilith said, “Do you want that story or the story about Marie?”

Zelda contemplated the question, relenting to listen to Lilith. “Marie,” she said, “But you can tell me about the other story later.”

Lilith nodded and then began her story about Marie, detailing what the peak of her career looked like and how she’d begun attending exclusive art openings with clients. The story involved Lilith apparently stealing one of Marie’s artworks and then crashing every single exhibitionist the woman did after that, in an attempt to annoy her, before somehow finding themselves as friends when an ex-partner at the time tried to publicly berate Lilith.

It was a charming story in its own way, though Zelda found herself disapproving of Lilith’s antics. Though Lilith assured her, both Marie and she found the entire thing hilarious.

“I still have the artwork,” Lilith advised. “It’s in the other house, in the hallway.”

Zelda blinked, trying to remember which one, but found her memory of the artworks fuzzy. “You’ll have to show me.”

When they arrived at the art museum, Zelda purchased the tickets to the collection and pressed her hands in her pocket. Here was where she wanted to truly enact her revenge. The art collection had a few people walking around in the galleries, though the current one remained empty, allowing Zelda the perfect opportunity to stand side-by-side with Lilith and admire the art.

“This one appears to be more impressionist than modern,” Zelda said, baiting Lilith.

“Ah, that’s because modern art overlaps impressionists; it’s when artists began to become experimental,” Lilith advised, “both with form and style, but also the mediums they used. This is an oil painting, but that one there is a lithograph, which allowed the middle-class to buy prints instead of commissioning new artwork. Essentially reforming how we view and obtain art.” She continued on, detailing how Manet came into modern art–whilst teasing Zelda that she should pose nude for her by the river in summer.

Most were studies on the female form, and as Lilith talked about the mixed media component, detailing art history with German and Dutch art schools, Zelda listened attentively, following Lilith’s gestures to the way the strokes of the pencil or paint, the use of the colour, and as Lilith became truly, utterly distracted, Zelda began playing with the remote.

“See this shade of yellow? It’s actually––“

Lilith’s words cut off, and Zelda turned and looked to her, eyebrows raising. “What was that?” she asked.

Lilith inhaled a deep breath and continued speaking, her voice shaking as she continued, “…this shade of yellow, specifically, is interesting because at the time…” and then Lilith paused as Zelda increased the setting, looking at her innocently.

“What’s interesting about the shade of yellow?” Zelda asked.

She watched as Lilith swallowed, shaking her head as she bowed forward. “F-first manufactured…shade,” she advised with a heavy breath.

There, Zelda slid her arm around Lilith’s waist, holding her steady, and moved her to the next artwork.

“I like the colours on this one.”

Lilith nodded, and Zelda reduced the setting on the control, watching her gasp. “Yes,” she agreed. “It’s…it’s….”

Zelda turned to watch her curiously. Lilith was shifting, likely feeling a low-level hum run across her clit and inside of the vaginal wall, pressing firmly against her. Or, perhaps with how wet she was, it was sliding out.

She stepped closer to Lilith and undid the woman’s jacket. “What are you doing?” Lilith asked.

“Keep talking to me about the artist.”

Lilith continued speaking about Munch, discussing the use of red, of the muse he depicted as the Madonna, and as she did, Zelda slid her arm around Lilith’s waist, under the jacket, and then began to pull her skirt up.

“Keep going,” Zelda said as she looked around them, confirming no one else was in the gallery. And then, with the jacket still hiding what she was actually doing, Zelda slid her fingers over her underwear from Lilith’s ass, across to her sex.

The material was soaked.

She could feel Lilith’s hips shake as she stroked over to where the toy was, her fingers sliding underneath the cotton to fix it back in place before she slid her hands out, flicking the underwear back, pulling the skirt back down and then, smoothing the jacket.

Lilith sucked in a breath, and when she did, Zelda pushed the controls up as high as it would go and listened as the most erotic gasp poured from Lilith’s mouth before the woman squeezed her jaw shut.

“Are you still good?” Zelda asked. Lilith nodded, making a whimper, and Zelda dropped the toy down, turning it off. “Good, then you can finish telling me about this artist.”

Lilith turned and looked at her, glaring. “I need to use the facilities.”

“No, you don’t,” Zelda said, knowing precisely what Lilith wanted to do in the bathroom. She tugged her hand and drew her to the next artwork, standing before it, and waited for Lilith to begin. Lilith groaned and then began, her body tense waiting for the pulse to begin.

But she’d been so close to orgasm that it wasn’t fair to let her get it straight away, so Zelda moved her to the next gallery, where a man was walking around slowing, reading the didactic panels.

Zelda shifted closer, wrapping her arm around Lilith’s waist as she began playing with the remote control again, feeling her abdomen tense, watching as Lilith clenched her jaw shut, her legs shaking. She was close.

“Are you going to come for me?” Zelda asked her quietly. “Right here, in this gallery?”

“Yes,” Lilith said, her voice low and thick with arousal.

Zelda looked over her shoulder at the gentlemen who was making his way around, completely oblivious. And then she took her hand in hers and felt Lilith’s hand squeeze around her fingers as she bowed her head, her mouth opening only to draw a short gasp before she otherwise kept it firmly shut.

Zelda turned off the remote and watched as Lilith whimpered softly at the lost orgasm––or perhaps the weak one that trembled through her as a result.

“Zelda, please,” Lilith said.

“Please?” Zelda asked.

“I’ll be good if that’s what you want.”

“Oh? And pray, tell, what do you think you’ve done to classify as naughty behaviour, Lilith?”

Lilith huffed, looking away, and seemed to swallow back her words before she turned around to her. “Let me come once.”

Zelda gave a short laugh. “And why would I do that?”

“Because,” and then Lilith was stepping closer to her, wrapping arms around Zelda’s waist as she nuzzled playfully against her neck. “I know how to get into a church that’s nearby, and if you let me come right now, I’ll fuck you in that church.”

Zelda shivered before remembering that they were in the city, and the church’s often worked differently in such a populace. “Won’t someone be there?”

“Oh no, it’ll be utterly empty. Completely available for holy worship, if you so wish.”

Zelda tilted her head, biting her lip as she felt Lilith kiss her throat. It was tempting. She hadn’t had sex in church, and there was a rebellious part of her from her youth who desperately wanted to do that.

But was it worth it? There was still the remainder of this gallery to drift through, utterly teasing Lilith until her underwear was completely ruined.

As her thoughts teetered between one and the other, Lilith’s mouth pressed to her ear and began whispering filthy things that Lilith planned to do to her in the church. They were sinful, advising that she’d fuck her on the pulpit or make her masturbate in the confessional booth. Causing her to squirt wherever Lilith so chose.

And it was all said with a purr, a devilish whisper until the only thing Zelda wanted was to feel Lilith’s fingers curling inside of her.

Damn her.

She snatched Lilith's hand and tugged her from the gallery, out into the hall to where the bathroom signs pointed, and then they tugged her into the room, where rows and rows of clean stalls stood, all of which had had their doors opened.

She pushed Lilith into the nearest stall, locking the door behind her, and then reached between Lilith’s legs.

“Spread your thighs,” Zelda said. Lilith laughed before obeying her. Zelda’s hand reached up and pulled the toy from her, placing it into her pocket. She’d played with Lilith enough.

Pressing her against the wall of the stall, she placed one hand on Lilith’s waist to hold her steady, as with her other, she slid three fingers inside of her.

Lilith gasped and then clenched her jaw shut, swallowing back the sounds as Zelda pulled away to watch her, thrusting inside of her.

It was a quick, merciless fuck, and as soon as Lilith was coming around her fingers, Zelda was pulling out, smirking at her as she watched the woman’s flushed expression turn to her. It wasn’t enough, and she knew that.

“Zelda,” Lilith warned.

“You said one,” she reminded. “Now you’re going to be a good girl and follow the rest of the itinerary.”

Lilith stilled, her teeth baring as she seemed to consider what unspeakable things she could do to Zelda in return, but before she could so much as pin her to the stall, Zelda was unlocking the door and exiting, heading to the sink to wash her hands.

Lilith seemed to take a few minutes, fixing her clothes before she walked over and washed her hands, her face flushed and a smile tugging at her lips. “I’m going to get you back,” she vowed.

“And just how do you plan on doing that?” Zelda asked. “I have the toy.”

“I don’t need a toy to get you worked up,” Lilith said. “I know what you like.”

Zelda’s brow quirked, but she didn’t disagree with her. Lilith certainly did know what she liked. But despite her boasting, Zelda was quite sure she was in control of the situation. Lilith was worked up and scrambling for power to get herself off. The best thing to do would be to ignore her.

So she did.

“It’s lunchtime,” Zelda said. “Did you want to sit at the Museum’s restaurant, or did you want to go out somewhere else?”

Lilith quirked her head at the change of conversation before a slow, scheming smile pulled over her face. “Here’s fine.”

They dined at the Museum’s overpriced restaurant. Zelda expected Lilith continue the game of seducing her, but she didn’t. Instead, they ate, they drank a glass of wine, and they talked before paying for their meal and making their way through the remainder of the exhibition, wandering through a few other galleries, as all the while, Lilith kept her hands at her sides, occasionally brushing against hers as she discussed the artworks.

Her voice was warm and confident, discussing the art of display, and despite the game, they’d been playing earlier, Zelda couldn’t help but soften. There was something beautiful about watching her passion explored––in such a way that Zelda found herself drinking in her words, all the more aware of how much she loved her.

After the museum, they made their way out into the city, drifting through shops. “Was there anywhere you wanted to go?” Zelda asked.

“Oh, no, I’m quite happy to follow,” Lilith said, her head tilting. “Lead the way.”

Zelda obliged, wandering through shops looking at clothes, but even there, Lilith remained pleasant and polite. Even as she teasingly walked through a lingerie store, Lilith merely nodded approvingly, her expression soft as if they were commenting on what groceries to buy for dinner.

Zelda didn’t know how, but there was a power shift. Suddenly, she felt as if Lilith was leading, though the woman still deferred to Zelda, inquiring about what the plans were for the rest of the day, and made no effort to direct her otherwise.

It was maddening, distracting. But more than anything, it was confusing.

Zelda tried on a dress, expecting Lilith to come into the dressing room and have her wicked way with her, but she didn’t. She asked if Zelda had the right size and then moved to continue looking at clothes.

As they made their way back to the hotel to prepare for dinner, Zelda realised what was happening.

Lilith was avoiding touching her. Or rather, if she did, it was a carefully placed hand, midway on her back, or gentle touch against her arm, which was used only as a reminder to Zelda that Lilith was chaste in her choices to touch.

She was actively avoiding seducing her. There were no playful touches or pressed kisses against her skin. Nor even a flirtatious remark.

And then at dinner, everything changed. It was a rather luxurious restaurant, and Zelda had booked a private seating with a chef’s menu and wine pairing. Which meant that they were seated on a private balcony, separate from any eyes.

They were in the chill winter air, a heater standing tall beside them, warm enough that Zelda was able to comfortably remove her jacket as Lilith did the same.

They’d returned to the hotel to shower and change into appropriate wear for the restaurant. Lilith looked good, damn good. Enough so that Lilith wanted to forgo the meal and seduce her as she pleased, but Lilith merely smiled at her, eyes sparkling with mischief as she discussed their day, going over the artworks she enjoyed seeing.

They were on their second course, and therefore their second wine pairing when Zelda sat down her glass. “Enough,” she said. “I know what game you’re playing, but I’ve had enough of it.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Lilith said, and there was a faux innocence to her voice. “I’ve been perfectly amicable.”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“And what’s that?”

Zelda breathed in, feeling her lungs expand in the dress as she watched Lilith’s head tilting curiously. What had she been doing, aside from being perfectly chaste? Nothing. An absence of anything she usually did.

And how was it that that was all the more maddening than if she’d pinned her to a wall and stroked between her legs?

“You know what you’re doing.”

“Do I?” Lilith’s asked. Her smirk widened as she brought her glass to her lips to take a sip. Zelda turned away, unable to hold her eyes. It shouldn’t be maddening, but it was. Utterly, completely maddening the way she was looking at her and was doing nothing about it.

The waitress interrupted, clearing their plates as she confirmed they were enjoying their meal before topping up their glasses of water. But Zelda felt all the more parched as Lilith’s shoe accidentally brushed against hers before she made an apology and shifted in her seat.

How was it that she could look so utterly seductive doing nothing? Was it the way she lifted a hand to brushed her hair from her eyes, or how she glanced at Zelda and smiled?

The waiter left, confirming the next meal would be out soon, and Lilith’s eyes turned, looking over the balcony at the cityscape. Cars passed, lights changed on the tall buildings, and Zelda thought about what it would feel like to be bent over the railing as Lilith’s finger slid inside her.

She flushed, turning away, and finished her wine, trying to focus on where she was.

She turned to the doors and watched as the waiter brought a new bottle of wine, presenting it before she topped up the new glasses, taking their previous ones away. Zelda felt sorry for whoever the dish-hand was. From three courses already, she’d felt there’d been over nine plates and three sets of wine glasses between them.

The food was set out, a small wagyu pastry with a wasabi-soya sauce blend. To be enjoyed in its entirety, the waitress stated before leaving.

Zelda nodded, going to take the pastry before she watched Lilith pick it up and then lean forward, presenting it to her. “In its entirety,” Lilith echoed. “Open wide.”

Zelda bent forward, eyes sliding away as her mouth parted, her tongue sliding out, and then she felt as Lilith’s fingers gently placed the pastry onto her tongue. Closing her mouth, her fingers wrapped around Lilith’s fingers, sucking as she looked into the woman’s eyes, watching arousal flood over her features before her fingers pulled away, out from her lips.

Lilith seemed to take a deep breath, her mouth parted with a soft exhale as she gave a soft laugh. “I’m going to fuck you, Zelda. But I won’t do it here.”

“Is that so? And just where will you fuck me?”

“I already told you. At the church.” And then she smiled wide at her, sipping her wine. “I’m going to fuck you hard.”

“We’ll see.”

“We’ll finish this first,” Lilith said. “I’m quite enjoying the food and wine.”

Zelda hummed in agreement. And yet, for the rest of the meal, she felt herself squirming with anticipation, wondering just how they were going to get into a church. Lilith had assured her it’d be empty, which only raised further questions as to what type of place they were going to––she didn’t want to get fucked in some decrypted rundown building where who knows how many other people were seduced before her.

As it was, she didn’t need to wait long. When dinner had finished, Lilith led her down the street, fingers brushing against her hand. The streets were still reasonably busy, with night still only just reaching the late hours.

The walk wasn’t long from the restaurant, and Zelda was thankful for it. But as they stopped outside of the building, Zelda’s breath came with a gasp. It wasn’t some small building in some backstreet. Lilith was tugging her into one of the central Catholic churches of the city. An ancient building of great size.

It was a cathedral, and as she stepped around to its side, anxiety building in Zelda, concerned about what would happen if they were to be caught.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” Lilith said. “I used to break in here all the time.”

“And host orgies?”

Lilith hummed but didn’t otherwise deny it. Zelda watched as she reached into her clutched and pulled out a strange-looking device before she slid it into the keyhole, and then with a quick twist of her fingers, the door opened, and the device was set back aside into her purse.

Lilith smirked at her, opening the door wider for her to step past.

Zelda sighed. “Won’t someone be here?”

“Not tonight,” she said, closing the door behind them. And then her hand wrapped around Zelda’s and as she tugged her through the small room, into a hall and then there they were, in the cathedral.

It was big, with massively tall ceilings. Their heels clicked on the hardwood floor, echoing across the room as they walked past the rows and rows of pews. And then Lilith stood upon the raised platform before the altar and smiled at Zelda.

“Get undressed,” she said.

Zelda swallowed. “Here, but if someone––“

“Do you trust me?”

“I do.”

“Get undressed for me, Zelda. I wouldn’t ask if there was a high risk.”

Zelda closed her eyes, inhaling a deep breath, and then reached behind her, unzipping the dress. She stepped out of it and then removed her slip, leaving her standing before Lilith in her lingerie set with her garter belt.

There, Lilith stepped forward, tugging her close by her hips, and combed her hair back from her shoulders before she leant forward and pressed a kiss to her jaw, to her throat, and then her shoulder.

Her fingers unclasped the stockings, and then Lilith was sliding the lace underwear down her thighs.

“Zelda, you were merciless today.”

Zelda hummed. “But you enjoyed yourself.”

“Entirely.” the lace dropped to her ankles, and Zelda stepped out from them. She was almost entirely naked in church. It was sinful, utterly terrible, and if there were a God, she was certain she’d be struck down for this.

But Lilith’s mouth was drawing over her throat, her hands on her hips as she tugged her towards the pulpit.

“Bend over, I think you owe me a confession.”

“And just what will I be confessing?” Lilith asked.

“Your sins.”

Zelda hummed and then following, hands sliding over where the priest’s notes would go, her breasts pressing against the wood as she arched her back and stood ready, waiting.

Lilith pressed behind her, hands sliding over her back, and then across her hips and down her backside to her thighs. “Tell me, Zelda. What do you think your sin today was?”

Zelda shrugged. “I’m free of sin,” she said, looking over her shoulder.

She was rewarded with a spank, hard and firm against her ass. She squeezed her eyes shut as she heard the sound of her gasp ring throughout the cathedral into its very recesses.

“Let’s try that again,” Lilith said. “What was your sin today?”

Zelda bit her lip, feeling herself grow wet at the tone Lilith used. It was commanding, cold, and firm. She arched her back and hummed appropriately, considering the question. “Perhaps it was not paying enough attention while you spoke about art?”

She gasped again, hands curling against the wood as the spank hit hard. She wanted to beg for it again but bit her tongue, bowing her head forward. She had to play the game. “Try again.”

“The wicked thoughts I had about you?”

She moaned this time when Lilith spanked her, the feeling of the hands slapping high against her ass. She’d been right to desire the feeling of Lilith’s bare hand, the woman was good at what she did, and Zelda could feel her growing arousal as she blinked out at the church. “Let’s try that again, shall we?”

Zelda hummed and nodded. “Teasing you.”

“Good girl. Teasing me in the gallery and then fucking me in the bathroom and leaving me utterly unrelieved. I promised you a proper fucking Zelda, but first, you need to repent your sins.”

Zelda nodding, squirming as she waited.

“I think…fifteen strikes should do it, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Lilith asked, waiting.

And Zelda sucked in a breath, feeling clit throbbing with arousal. It was so familiar and so different at the same time, but still, she couldn’t help but say, “Yes, Principal Wardwell.”

Lilith laughed behind her. “Well, it is a lesson, after all.” And then the strike came, hard against her ass, and Zelda moaned, feeling the pain strike through her. Lilith was relentless in the strikes. They were hard and firm and running through her until she could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs, the sound of moans and gasp slipping around them, echoing until they were all she could hear with the strikes.

And then they stopped, and Zelda felt as Lilith wrapped her fingers through her hair, tugging her head backwards. “Do you think you’ve repented?” she asked.

Zelda made a strangled noise as she arched her back, feeling herself press her abdomen harder into the pulpit. “Yes,” she managed to say, her chest rising and falling.

“And what shall we do now that you’ve repented?” Lilith asked, her voice low and warm. It sent a thrill down Zelda’s spine.

She knew what she wanted. “Please fuck me, Principal Wardwell.”

“Please fuck you?” Lilith asked. “And just how do you want to be fucked, Zelda?”

“I don’t care.”

“Turn around.” The hand dropped from her hair, and Zelda turned around awkwardly until she leaned back against the pulpit, staring at Lilith. The woman seemed to stand tall above her, a grand smile on, and Zelda felt it spark straight through her. She’d do anything, anything at all Lilith asked of her, and wouldn’t regret it. “Spread your legs for me.”

Zelda obeyed.

“Oh no, wider darling. I want you to spread as far as you can.”

Zelda clutched at the stand behind her, obeying Lilith as much as she could. Lilith stepped forward, her hand reaching out to wrap around her waist and hold her firm as she slid her fingers across from, drawing across her sex.

“You’re drenched, Zelda.”

Zelda nodded, inhaling a long deep breath as she pressed against Lilith’s hands.

“You’re so wet that I bet you could take me entirely.”

Zelda swallowed at the insinuation before she smiled at Lilith and nodded. “I could,” she agreed. “Why don’t you find out?”

Lilith laughed and slid inside of her. Three fingers. Zelda gasped, eyes falling shut as she rocked over them. It was firm, and she squeezed around the fingers, feeling herself slide. But Lilith’s fingers stretched inside of her, and it ached, ached so beautifully as she measured what she could do.

“You feel tight,” Lilith teased. “Let’s try another, hmm?”

Zelda nodded and then felt as Lilith’s fourth finger pressed against the lips of sex. She stretched her wide, and Zelda gasped, feeling her hips jerk away. But Lilith held her firm against the stand, hushing her as she kissed her.

“Relax,” Lilith said, “Breathe.”

Zelda breathed and felt the fingertip enter. It ached and stretched, and then Lilith was sliding in firmer, her thumb pressing against her clit, and Zelda could feel her sliding deep, and god, it felt so good. The feeling of her clit throbbing, her cunt squeezing around Lilith’s fingers as bit by bit she was filled entirely.

“Good girl.”

Zelda nodded. “I don’t…I don’t think I can––“

“Yes, you can,” Lilith said, and she kissed her softly, her fingers sliding deeper into her. “Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

Zelda’s eyes fluttered shut, and she felt as the fingers worked inside of her, and then Lilith’s thumb pressed against her, and Zelda felt her hips jerk again, driving her deeper into Lilith’s hand.

“I––“

“I’ve got you,” Lilith assured. “I’m right here. Take a deep breath.”

Zelda opened her eyes, and looked at Lilith, watched her as she felt the thumb nudge. It was tight, so tight, but she pressed her hips further.

“Good girl, just relax for me.”

Zelda hummed, trying to forcefully relax as the thumb slid further, and then it was pressing inside of her, and Zelda had never felt so stretched out, nor ever so full before, but…

But it felt good, and Lilith’s mouth pressed to hers as she slid in deeper, stretching her wider, and Zelda felt her body adjusted against her.

And then she watched as Lilith pulled away, her hand sliding out, thumb first, and then the fingers, and Zelda ached at the loss of her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not done yet,” Lilith assured before she knelt down before her. “Eyes on me.”

Zelda looked down between her thighs and watched as Lilith entered her against. Four fingers at first this time, pacing back and forth, steadying her, and then the thumb, slowly, surely until it filled her. And then Lilith leant forward, her tongue sliding over her as Zelda’s legs began shaking.

“Oh my God,” she said, feeling Lilith’s tongue slide over the labia, her mouth coming to suck on her clit. “Lilith.”

Lilith smirked as she looked up her, tongue stroking gently over her, and then she stopped teasing, and Zelda felt her grip tighten behind her on the pulpit, holding herself steady as Lilith seemed to work divine magic with her mouth.

“Mary, mother of God!“

“Mary––?“ Lilith teased, pulling away from her,, and Zelda grabbed at her to urge her back.

“Don’t stop,” Zelda gasped, her limbs trembling as she squeezed around her, her hand tangling in her hair, pulling her close. “Lilith, please––please.”

She obeyed with a laugh, and Zelda felt her breath catch in her lungs at the feeling of it.

Lilith had one hand inside of her, filling her as her mouth sucked and licked around her sex, as her other handheld her thigh steady as Zelda jerked and squeezed, her legs trembling as she gasped in a breath, filling the church with her moans.

It was sinful. It should have been a sin. She was being fisted in a catholic church, and as her eyes fluttered, she could see the stained glass window, reflecting religious iconography, but all she could focus on was Lilith and her mouth and her hand inside of, and how good everything felt.

It couldn’t be a sin. This didn’t feel like anything else she’d ever done. This felt divine like bliss was washing through her, like ambrosia ran through her as she clutched at Lilith’s hair and tugged her closer, urging her to keep going.

She was sore, and yet it only burned with pleasure. She could feel her back pressing against the indents of the stand. Her muscles were aching from clenching as her legs shook with fatigue, and yet she felt every inch of that fall away until all that remained was Lilith.

And as she arched up into Lilith’s mouth, feeling the orgasm squeezed from her, Zelda’s head tossed back, a great cry releasing from her mouth. It echoed around the church, filling it entirely, and it was all could Zelda could hear, lost in the sensation.

And then it was over, and Lilith was pulling out of her as she dropped back against the pulpit, gasping for breath.

Lilith stood up, and Zelda felt the ache at her absence as Lilith rose before her, wiping at the wetness around her mouth, though Zelda flushed when she realised it’d also spilt across her forearm and shoulder.

Not that Lilith minded. If anything, she looked pleased with herself as she stood up, both hands holding Zelda’s hips steady before she leant forward and kissed her.

“I love you,” Zelda said. And then paused wide-eyed as she felt Lilith tense before her.

Fuck. She hadn’t meant to say it, hadn’t meant for the words to spill out, and all at once she wanted to claw them back in her mouth, swallow them back as she tried to pull away––but Lilith was still before her, and the pulpit was just as rigid behind her. She had nowhere to go.

And then Lilith smiled at her, “I love you, too,” she said.

Zelda sighed at the words, feeling her heart ease as she kissed Lilith again and then again slower, and then once more, deeper, feeling the words alight between.

I love you. She wanted to hear them again, so she peppered kisses down Lilith’s throat, down her shoulder, and unzipped Lilith’s dress, pulling the clothes from her body. I love you. They were such sweet words.

Such holy words from a mouth as divine as Lilith’s.

She kissed down her breasts, down her abdomen and felt Lilith exhale as she knelt before her and tugged Lilith’s underwear down. She kissed over her thighs and then against her sex and licked her firmly. Lilith laughed, her back arching as the amusement turned into a moan, and it was the sweetest sound Zelda had heard her make.

So she kissed her again, made her do it again, and then she fucked her until Lilith was panting her devotion hotly into the winter air on the floor of the church.

No, Zelda decided. It wasn’t a sin. It was, perhaps, immoral in some way, but as she drew her tongue over and over Lilith and heard her breath panting, “Fuck, Zelda, don’t stop!” thundering through the air, Zelda knew.

This was devotion, and she would happily pay tribute to the rest of her life.

#lilith #Zelda spellman #zelith #madam spellman #caos fanfic

[ablogofthecriminalmindsvariety]

HotchReid for the ship meme... 1-15 😅😅😅

, For the ship ask 2, 3, 11 and 15 would be too much? With Hotch/Reid?

For your viewing pleasure, here’s your daily dose of HotchReid

1. Which one is the better cook

Aaron, most definitely to begin with. But they start to have cooking lessons, and then it turns into Aaron just letting Spencer help while he cooks. Letting him boil the water, or turn on the stove, stir the pot, put this or that in. Spencer becomes your very run of the mill, slightly mediocre chef. But Aaron compares it to chemistry at one point, and then suddenly it clicks for Spencer and he becomes a good cook. Aaron is still better, though.

2. What their love letters look like

Okay, funny story, for a roleplay I’m doing, I wrote a love letter from Spencer to Aaron, confessing love for the first time, so here’s that:

Dear Aaron,

I apologize for the oddities of this. I know that a letter wouldn’t be entirely typical of most people when confessing their feelings of affection, though I think we’ve established by now that I’m not like most people, so here goes nothing.

The feelings that I have for you are not, by any means, platonic. The way I feel when I look at you is unlike any way I’ve ever felt before. You make me feel warm from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, you make my heart twist in a way that somehow isn’t painful, and in all honesty, it’s entirely terrifying. Because it’s unfamiliar and I don’t feel things like that for people. Ever. I didn’t get to do the whole ‘dating and experimenting and finding myself’ thing. Not in high school, not really in college. And so, where I’m standing now is almost entirely unfamiliar ground.

Though if there’s anything that you’ve taught me, it’s that the unexpected and the new can be amazingly wonderful things. And I believe that you are one of those amazingly wonderful new things that has found its way into my life. Opening up to people is hard for me. Talking to people is hard for me. And yet, somehow, you’ve managed to settle yourself into my life and make it so you’re the exception to both of those things.

You’re easy to talk to, and you’re there, and you’re easy to open up to, and the thought of me losing you in my life is genuinely painful because you’ve sort of started to settle yourself into this little place in my heart and I genuinely don’t know what I’d do if for whatever reason you tried to uproot. Nor do I know what I’d say to you, so I’m writing you this letter.

Relationships are hard for me, and so is trust. There have been things in my life that have happened to make that true, and I can say with certainty that I think you’re one of the few people in the world who I’d be comfortable talking to about that one day. Which is saying a lot for me, which by default means that I care very deeply for you, Aaron Hotchner.

And this is the way that I found to show it to you.

Bette Davis said “Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.” I’d like to make a foundation to build something upon, Aaron, something that’s our own sort of beautiful. I hope that you say you’d like to build with me, but I understand if the feelings aren’t reciprocated.

I hope they are.

Sincerely,

       Spencer.

And as for Aaron? I don’t think he would be all that eloquent, he wouldn’t be able to sit down and write a love letter. His letter would be more one that he writes for Spencer every day in the words he says and the things he does. The good morning cheek kisses, bringing him his first cup of coffee, tying his tie because somehow, no matter what, Spencer always ties it crooked, good night cuddles, putting socks on his cold feet in the night. That’s what his love letters look like.

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope

Realistically, Spencer would outlive Aaron. There’s a ten year age gap, and it’s likely that Aaron would be the one to go first. They both manage to live to a happy, relatively old age, and when Aaron goes, Spencer is with him. He holds his head in his lap, and he reads The Little Prince to him and he combs his fingers through his hair. When the breathing stops, he just sits there. He marks that page in the story, and it will forever and always remind him of him. The book does to. He eventually can read it without crying. But he can never look at the page that they stopped on without breaking down in earnest. When he goes, Spencer doesn’t relapse. He’s spent too long being sober, and though it’s hard, he knows that Aaron would never want that for him. So he stays clean, and he stays locked up in their house for a little while, for a few days. He always, always lets friends in to come visit, and he sits with them, and he reminisces. In bed at night, in their bed, holding one of Aaron’s sweaters and his old stuffed rabbit that Spencer got for him years and years ago, he cries and he cries and he cries. Eventually, he starts to heal, and with the help of his friends, he gets to a better place. He keeps Aaron’s wedding ring on a chain around his neck that also has a little locket that he’d had for a very long time. It’s of him, Aaron, and Jack that he got for him on their two year anniversary, and he always keeps it over his heart.

4.What they do on date night

It depends on the date night that they have. They don’t go out to fancy restaurants, because that’s gross. They stay in and watch documentaries and old movies in their pajamas with wine and takeaway and they throw popcorn at each other. They go to local restaurants to support the business. Little diners and shops and such. They take walks around rock creek park together, hand in hand. They read in the back yard with the porch lights on, looking at the stars. They lay out on the grass on a blanket and Spencer tells Aaron about all of the constellations. They go to see the cats in the shelters and give the lonely ones love. They do a slew of different things.

5. How many kids they’ll have

Well, they have Jack, and Aaron claims that he will never go through the whole baby thing again. Spencer gets baby fever when he has to babysit for a neighbor on an emergency and Aaron tells Spencer horror stories from Jack growing up. It always makes it die down, but it’ll always flare back up again. Aaron arranges for Spencer to watch Jessica’s baby, who is a nightmare, but the baby gets sick and throws up all over him and so Aaron has to come save the day and help Spencer get all cleaned up and assist him. Spencer stops wanting a baby after that, and they’re happy to just have their cats instead. They have three (they were only supposed to ever have two, but that’s a whole headcannon list that I’m not going to get into right now). Mr. Mittens, Sherlock, and Artemis, and that along with Jack is enough for him.

6. How they decorated their bedroom

It’s quite simple. Spencer is an artist, and he likes to draw. He gets into painting at some point, and so there are a few of those hanging on the wall, some of the better ones. There are family pictures around the room. Of Jack, Jack and Haley, Aaron and Jack, Aaron and Jack and Haley, Aaron and Spencer, Spencer and Jack, Aaron and Jack and Spencer, Diana and Spencer, and a picture or two of the team, because they are their family. The furniture is nothing special, and their sheets and duvets rotate, because Spencer is anal about having them cleaned weekly and Aaron used to change him every other week anyways.

7 Which one is the worse driver

Spencer is the worse driver, but if you ask him, Aaron is scarier to be in the car with. They’re both good drivers, but Aaron has a bit more skill. On a case, in a high speed chase, that time Aaron crashes a car into another car to save the cyclists, and all of that junk. Spencer doesn’t like to let Aaron in the car after that. Aaron doesn’t like to let Spencer drive simply because he doesn’t like to not have that control.

8. What they argue about

They’re pretty good about communicating and not arguing with each other. Normally it’s about things like Reid taking off his vest when he’s talking to an unsub, or risking his life to save a victim. Or about Aaron working too much and not taking care of himself. They only ever fight out of concern for the to the other person. Or when they’re both really stressed, Reid might pick a fight over something small, and then he starts crying, and then Aaron feels bad, and Spencer apologizes because he picked the fight, and then they talk out their icky feelings like adults and they hug each other and they feel better.

9. Which one swears more

It depends. When Spencer is really stressed or ticked off, he swears more. But at home, Aaron is sort of more of a casual swearer. I’d say probably Aaron. Spencer swears in other languages sometimes if he doesn’t want people to know that he’s swearing, but Aaron probably swears more frequently.

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

They don’t really have a lot of shows that they watch together. Spencer likes to watch old shows, like I Love Lucy and The Andy Griffith Show and Leave it to Beaver. They watch a lot of history documentaries together, because Spencer loves documentaries, and Aaron loves history. They watch Doctor Who together, because it’s one of Spencer’s favorites. Aaron makes Spencer watch the movies that he likes so he gets the references that he makes.

11. What their first impression was of each other

Spencer was nervous. Aaron was a big, scary man, and Gideon introduced him while he was in the middle of a run at the academy. He’s clearly less than impressed by that and Gideon telling him that he’s going to do great things in the academy, Aaron doesn’t believe him. He is slightly surprised because Spencer is so... small. Frail. Fragile.

12. What they do for their anniversary

They don’t always celebrate day of, because work doesn’t let them. But even if they have work on the anniversary, they have dinner together, even if it’s pretzels and bottled water on the way home on the jet. But when they do get the chance to actually celebrate, they make a day of it. Breakfast in bed and cuddles. Going out to the park, Aaron pushes Spencer on the swings. They got to their favorite cafe and order hot chocolate and watch the people on the streets and make up their life stories. They go to Spencer’s favorite book store and pick random books, pages, and lines and make a story out of all of them. There’s a local carnival that comes around right around the time their anniversary is that they go to in the night. Aaron plays the games and tries to win Spencer something. He always manages to even if they’re rigged, and Spencer keeps each and every one of them. They go on the Ferris Wheel, and Aaron always slips the man working the ride some money to keep them stopped at the top for a little while. They look at the stars together and kiss under the moonlight. And when they go home, they cuddle on the couch and watch trash TV and when they go to be, they whisper how much they love each other and their favorite things about the other one.

13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays

They don’t make very big deals of them. Spencer doesn’t like to be fussed over on his birthday, and Aaron doesn’t like to be reminded that he’s a year closer to death. They make special birthday pancakes, go out to dinner, and get each other a gift, but for the most part, that’s it.

14. What nicknames they call each other

Aaron calls Spencer a variety of things. A lot of variations of the word bug. Sugarbug, lovebug, bug, stinkbug are the go to’s. Along with angel, coffee bean, doc, and your run of the mill baby, sweetheart, etc.

Spencer calls Aaron bear, cherry blossom (because of his love for the cherry blossom festival in DC), and of course your run of the mill love, babe, honey, things such as that.

15. What they would change about each other

They both love each other dearly and would never want the other person to change who they are and things of the sort. They both do wish, however, that the other person had a slightly stronger sense of self preservation.

#hotch #hotchner #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch #aaron hotch hotchner #reid #spencer reid #mine #my writing #my headcannons #criminal minds #rotch #heid #HotchReid #hotch/reid #reid/hotch

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through XII

Chapter: 12/16

Rating: T

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

The following morning, Ringo made the snap decision of deleting the app and cancelling his subscription. He was surprised at how easily he was able to do it, staring at the blank space of where the app used to be. Whether it looked strange or not he didn't truly care, at least that's what he told himself, because whatever George thought of him didn't matter. It never mattered, even right from the beginning. The conversation last night, if it could even be called that, just proved to him that George just wanted to mess around with him because he knew that he could; and he really could, even Ringo didn't know how much he'd be willing to put up with just for George's enjoyment. But he wasn't going to do that anymore, he wanted to believe that it was a matter of pride, that he didn't want someone to know that they had that much of a hold on him, but he knew that wasn't the case.

The true reason he had to distance himself now, before things got much further, was because it would just hurt too much. He couldn't sit around hoping that George liked him, reading between the lines of everything he did or said and trying to piece together what it all meant. He couldn't really afford it either.

Of course George didn't like him. How could he? After how pathetic Ringo had been: almost losing his mind just because George touched him, trying to hide behind a fake profile and failing miserably. This wasn't like him, he'd never acted like this about a guy before, and that had to be a bad sign.

As he got ready for the day he swore to himself he would never set foot in that club again, no matter how much John might beg. It was just too degrading, and far too painful. Behind all this shame and anger was the stinging realisation that he truly liked George, someone he would never be able to have. Even if George didn't have his rule, there was no way he could be truly interested. Ringo was nothing but a game, easy prey to be played with. Part of him wanted to just give in, to allow himself to suffer as long as it meant he could look at George, to merely be in his presence. But it would kill him, because soon enough George would get tired of him and he'd be left right back where he started: utterly alone.

Luckily Ringo had work to distract him, the activity days he'd been participating in had resulted in a few more students and even though Ringo knew most of them weren't going to last, it would at least get his mind off things. Ringo had been particularly taken with a young boy who had expressed big dreams of becoming a famous drummer; he reminded Ringo very much of his younger self in many ways. It was a little bittersweet, to see a child so happy, remembering how happy he'd been at that same age then to compare it to all the issues he was battling all these years later. Maybe it wasn't the best distraction after all, but it was a sure sight better than being stuck at home on his own.

He'd seen John a few times but he was being strangely reclusive, which usually happened when he was going through a 'creative period' so Ringo was careful not to pester him too much. Even if he was able to get John's undivided attention, he wasn't sure he'd completely want it. After all John had the ability to read Ringo better than anyone, and he'd no doubt realise something was up before Ringo even opened his mouth. He didn't want to tell John about everything that had happened, not yet, but there was no chance he'd be able to look John in the eye and tell him that everything was alright.

Ringo ended up having the entire week booked with lessons, which was pretty uncommon for him, but with the summer holidays beginning a lot of children or younger students felt like picking up a new hobby to fill their spare time. In an hour one of his new students would be arriving at his place for their first lesson; occasionally a student wouldn't have a drum kit of their own, so Ringo offered his own up for the first few lessons to allow his students to get a feel for whether they really wanted to commit to drumming or not. After all, Ringo was one of the more affordable drum teachers in the area, and kits could be ridiculously expensive so he was very sympathetic to people who might not be able to afford their own.

He'd tidied up the place in the morning, throwing away all takeaway containers and rushing about with the hoover. First impressions were important, and he couldn't imagine this student being very likely to return for a second lesson if the makeshift classroom was an absolute pigsty. It was a hot day but he still tried to dress professionally, wearing a burgundy shirt with the sleeves rolled up and loose black jeans.

The doorbell rang out through the flat and Ringo hurried over to the door, taking a deep breath and putting on the warmest smile he could manage before opening it. The smile died almost immediately, his heart sinking in his chest.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Ringo blurted out without thinking, louder than he'd intended.

"Is that how you talk to all of your students?" George grinned, he was leaning on the doorframe like a jock in a teen movie.

Of course it was George. Why wouldn't it be? As if traumatising him several nights ago wasn't enough, he just had to turn up at his house too. Ringo supposed he must've been someone truly rotten in a past life if God was going to treat him like this. What part of 'I don't want to see George again' didn't he understand? Maybe he should start wishing he'd never see a winning lottery ticket, or a brand new car.

Ringo didn't say anything, just stood there gripping the door. Could he slam it in his face? Because that's what he felt like doing. It wasn't anger at George, not really, after all he hadn't necessarily done anything wrong. It was just rage at the entire situation, that seeing George had smacked him in the face with the realisation that he couldn't just ignore these feelings in hopes that they'd vanish.

"I just figured I'd switch things around a bit. You're always visiting me at work, so why don't I come and see you?" George cocked his eyebrow.

"But this is my house." Ringo responded dumbfounded.

"Well if you had an office or a studio that's where I'd be, but since you don't..." George let the rest of the sentence hang in the air, he looked at Ringo expectantly as though he wanted to be invited in.

Ringo was almost certain he hadn't blinked since he'd opened the door, he'd just been staring at George as though he'd vanish if he looked long enough. He was wearing sunglasses which were resting on the end of his nose, allowing Ringo to see into his glittering eyes; they were small and rectangular, Ringo thought they would've looked ridiculous on anyone else. He was wearing the fur coat he'd worn on the night they'd gotten a drink, a night Ringo had fruitlessly attempted to forget.

This was the real decision: was he going to let him in? He had paid for a lesson, but Ringo had a sneaking suspicion that George had an alterior motive for being here. Allowing him into his house would really be admitting defeat, accepting that he couldn't fight these feelings. Was George really here just to mess him around? It seemed a little extreme, even by George's standards.

It had been very easy for Ringo to tell himself that he was going to get over George - why he needed to get over someone he'd never actually dated was a problem for a different time - but being confronted with the sight of him now made it abundant that it'd been a lie. Just seeing George made him happy, made his stomach flutter and his heart stutter, and that was never going away.

"Come in, I guess." Ringo tried to maintain his cool as he stepped aside and George sauntered past him.

George scoped around the living room, Ringo wasn't quite sure what he'd been looking for. Seeing him here was very strange, something he'd only seen in his late night fantasies.

"Nice place." George said simply, moving around the small space.

"Thanks." Ringo took a few steps into the room "How did you find me?"

"Believe it or not there's not many drum teachers called Ringo around here." George moved over to inspect the drum kit.

"Are you seriously here to drum? I don't want to seem rude but-" Ringo was getting a little exasperated.

"Is that so hard to believe?" George grinned once again and Ringo felt weak in the knees "Maybe I just wanted to see you. Could be either one."

"George, please... Don't." Ringo sighed, he couldn't look at him.

"Don't what?" George took a step towards him "I can leave if you like." He paused "Is that what you want?"

"I-I don't know." Ringo stammered, he felt his face hearing up "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? I just thought it'd be fun to come and see you." George paused again, for a moment he dropped his typical demeanour "I thought I'd scared you off."

"What do you mean?" Ringo found the strength to look at him, the grin was gone and he almost looked scared.

"Nevermind, this was a bad idea. I should just go." George shook his head and began making his way to the door.

Ringo moved instinctively, grabbing George's wrist as he tried to push past. It wasn't a tight grip, far from it, but it was enough to make George stop in his tracks. This was the first time Ringo had touched him like this, intentionally and without any encouragement, and it felt a little strange. He could feel the heat and softness of his skin, pulling that soft hiss from George that came with the sudden coldness of his rings.

"Don't... Don't leave." Ringo spoke in a quiet voice.

"Okay." George responded in kind, almost shakily.

Ringo gingerly let go off his wrist, George slowly turned around so that they were facing one another. The hallway was small, there was only a little distance between them, yet none of them moved. The silence was thick, clouding Ringo's mind as he looked up at George who returned the gaze intensely.

"How did you know it was me?" Ringo was desperate to break the silence, he couldn't bear George looking at him like that any longer, but he didn't dare say what he really wanted to.

George laughed, it was quiet and a little husky "You really wanna know?"

"Yes." Ringo let out a small chuckle.

"Well I had my suspicions as soon as you asked me how I was." George explained with a smile "Most people who message me don't bother with the formalities."

"Oh, I see." Ringo felt a little embarrassed "What else?"

George let out a sigh, breaking their eye contact and placing his hands on his hips, a little frustrated "Ringo, you know when we're at the strip club, it's not just you checking me out. You do realise that, don't you?" George began "I know you're probably too freaked out to notice, but I'm looking at you too."

"But... You never saw me naked." Ringo tried to look back on their conversation in his head, desperate to make sense of it all.

"In real life, sure." George turned his face to look at Ringo directly again, his eyes were serious but his lips were curled playfully "I noticed things about you, Ringo. Small things."

George took a large step forward, closing the space between them completely. Ringo let out a quiet gasp, pressing himself against the wall in an attempt to get away, but there was nowhere to go. George lifted his finger to push gently at Ringo's shirt collar, tracing over his neck and top of his chest lightly.

"When I'm this close, I can see the shape of your collar bones, how smooth your chest is." George pressed his other hand flat against Ringo's thigh "I'll notice the shape of your legs, your hips, your waist. Do you understand?"

Ringo nodded, he knew if he opened his mouth all he'd be able to let out would be a pathetic gasp or moan. George was proving his point a little too well, Ringo felt even more panicked than he did whenever George would be this close to him at the club. But wasn't this what he'd wanted all this time? The two of them finally alone, far away from that place.

"If that answers your question, I've got one of my own." George only needed to whisper for Ringo to hear him, his breath was hot against Ringo's cheek "All those things you said, did you mean them?"

Ringo gulped, this was all too much. George's finger tracing along the outline of his collarbone, his thumb rubbing the inside of his thigh. The hands were bad enough but even worse was George's stare, his dark eyes saying so much and yet still unreadable. Ringo had never been this close to his face for so long, it was usually his arse or crotch or something equally as explicit, and he felt like he was truly seeing him now. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Ringo doubted he'd put up with this much stress for anyone else, in fact he knew he wouldn't.

"Yes." Ringo breathed out, he felt his body tencing in anticipation - he expected George to pull away, that wolfish grin on his face, only to leave without a further word.

"Really?" George's voice faltered a little and Ringo looked at him worriedly "You think I'm beautiful?"

It wasn't the direction Ringo had been expecting, he let out an exasperated laugh in shock "Seriously? You're seriously asking me that?"

"What?" George moved his head away sightly but his hands remained in place "It's not something you hear a lot in my line of work." His attitude was quickly returning, but Ringo couldn't forget that slipping of the mask.

"You're beautiful, George." Ringo admitted, he moved his own hand from where it'd been glued to his side and lifted it to brush against the softness of George's face, he flinched very briefly "I thought that the moment I saw you."

George laughed, his eyes darting away quickly, it was something Ringo had seen a million times with John whenever he tried to genuinely compliment him about something John was insecure about - which was most things.

"You're not making this easy for me, are you?" George asked with a little sadness in his voice.

"Me!?" Ringo exclaimed with a hearty chuckle, letting his hand fall from George's face "Do you know the amount of agony you've put me through?"

George began to laugh too "Couldn't help myself."

They stayed stood like that for a while, both laughing with almost no space between them. George still hadn't moved his hands and Ringo was very grateful for it, he'd gotten so used the the feeling.

"So I take it you don't actually want to learn to drum?" Ringo asked, he felt surprisingly calm.

"Well that's not strictly true." George began but broke his sentence off with a laugh when he saw Ringo raising his eyebrow "Fine, fine... I just wanted to see you. Happy now?"

"As long as you're still gonna pay me." Ringo responded with a smile.

"Oh, is that how it is?" George began rubbing his thumb over Ringo's clothed thigh again.

"I don't see you dancing for free." Ringo retorted.

"In your dreams." George let his sharp teeth poke through as his grin widened.

"And what about your dreams?" Ringo asked almost in a whisper.

"I think you know what I want." George moved his face even closer, breathing against the exposed skin of Ringo's neck.

"What about your rule?" Ringo felt himself warming up a little.

"You're not my customer. You're my teacher." George chuckled, his mouth mere inches away from Ringo and he had to stop himself from holding his breath.

"What if I don't sleep with my students?" Ringo asked, his voice was higher pitched than usual.

"Then I'll just have to convince you to change your mind." George punctuated his sentence by finally closing that small space, pressing his wet lips against Ringo's neck and kissing it roughly.

Ringo felt like he was in a dream, in fact this was one of his dreams, but it was really happening. George moved his hand up to Ringo's waist and scraped his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin on his neck. He pressed two more kisses as he gradually moved upwards, then removed his mouth entirely and brought his head to rest against Ringo's. He'd seen George's glare countless times before, but never quite like this, knowing it was purely for him and him alone.

"You said you'd do anything to have me. Well, here I am." George practically purred the words and Ringo didn't waste another second, locking their lips together so roughly that it knocked George backwards until he was pushed up against the opposite wall.

George didn't respond at first, no doubt in shock, but as soon as he registered what was happening he was reciprocating Ringo's vigour with ease. Ringo cupped his face desperately, soaking in the joy of finally being able to hold him like this. George's hand cupped Ringo's hip, the other lightly grabbing his arse. George tasted like tea and smoke, completely ordinary things, yet it was almost transformed into ambrosia for Ringo, he couldn't get enough.

This was really happening. Maybe God had been kinder than Ringo had first anticipated, he only prayed this wouldn't be snatched away from him just as he got used to it. If that was going to be the case, Ringo was going to make sure he used every single second to his advantage, he was going to fight for it. He wanted this, he needed it. He was even beginning to believe that he deserved it.

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