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the-fiction-witch · 3 months

Text

Mrs Dawkins P18 - P22

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet + Flirty

Series: Mrs Dawkins

P1 - P5 P6-P10 P11-13 P14-17

I barely slept, I had been crying all night.

I didn't eat, I didn't want to.

Still in my dress from last night at the breakfast table,

My father noticed at breakfast but didn't speak about it, Miss Hardcastle could tell something was wrong but I didn't answer any of her questions.

After enough of showing my face I got up and went back to my room, as I left I heard my father quickly ask.

"What's going on with her?"

"I don't know sir..."

"Well, find out." He demanded,

And of course, she began to follow me all the way back to my bed.

Once I collapsed on my tear-stained pillows, she shut the door and locked it, she came to stand by my bed patiently.

"Something you wish to speak about Miss Everset?"

"No."

"Y/n?" Her tone softened,

I peeked out from my pillow, "Yes?"

"What has gotten you so upset today?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Let me take a guess this has something to do with Dr Dawkins?"

I nodded

"I thought as much." She said, "What's happened?"

"You won't tell father?"

"No. Unless I need to..."

"Need to?"

"Only if I have to start measuring your waist?"

"No."

"Then I won't tell him."

I opened my drawer and handed her the note from last night, she took it and read it over,

"This from your ball?"

I nodded,

"So what happened last night?"

"He never came."

"He what!" She said but then stiffened herself, "He what?"

"He never came, I went out as soon as darkness fell last night."

"I remember you leaving yes,"

"And he never came, I waited for hours. He didn't show."

"I see, I can whisper this to your father and have him send a man to bootkick the doctor down a stairwell."

"No, it's fine I just want time alone."

"Understandable, I will tell your father your monthly sickness is causing trouble so he does not pry," she said going to my door, "Do try not to let your heart shatter over him Y/n,"

She left and shut my door but I couldn't help but be snarky, "Easy for you to say."

I spent the day in bed unable to really feel like existing.

I had read books that told tales of heartbreak and heard people talk of the pain, but I suppose a part of me never truly believed them. I didn't believe my heart's foolishness could cause me physical pain.

Every so often Miss Hardcastle would check on me or bring me food, often taking it away again on her next visit, but late in the afternoon, she came in with a small but sweet bundle of flowers in a grubby tankard.

I sat up and glared a little as she set the display on my table.

"What is that grimy thing?"

"It's a gift."

"A gift? From who?"

"It just arrived, one of your suitors had it sent to you."

"Oh." I sighed,

"Try to enjoy them." She said before she left the room,

I looked at the flowers some daises stuffed in a tankard, they were cheap, would likely die tomorrow and didn't really have much thought to them but still, I felt thankful someone sent them. I stood from my bed and went over to them checking the flowers, they were pretty I guess. I grabbed my jug from the side and went to give them some water in the hope they'd survive at least till tomorrow, I pulled the flowers a little to get space to pour in the water and I spotted a label around them.

So I plucked the label off and checked the name as I removed the flowers completely and began to pour in the water,

'To Miss Y/n Everset

From

Dr Jack Dawkins.'

I froze up stopping the flow of water, I felt so tearful to read his name, my heart ached so badly, and as I looked at the flowers I felt sick, to think he had done this to me and just tried to satisfy me with a bunch of cheap half dead daisies.

I Threw the flowers and tankard off my table letting them and the water scatter across my floor.

But as it did the tankard revealed a letter hidden up in the bottom soaked from the water I poured, I quickly grabbed it saving it from utter destruction and moved to my fire sitting it as close to the flame as I could before It would damage it further slowly drying the cream envelope as soon as it was dry I opened it having to hold it carefully, the page water damaged and some ink spreading any moment more It would have been unreadable.

'Dearest Y/n,

I beg your forgiveness, even if I do not deserve it.

I know you likely do not wish to hear from me much less forgive me, but I only pray you will at least read my words.

I cannot express the heaviness in my heart for what I have done, the pain I must have caused you.

Believe I had every intention of meeting you last night, I was looking forward to seeing you again, I was giddy with the thought of what we would do, what we would discuss, and even just seeing you again.

I am so sorry for not coming, I know I have likely broken your heart and believe me when I say it has broken my own.

But, circumstances prevented our meeting,

A man came in last night just before I left, he needed emergency surgery, the other surgeon was out, and the prof drunk beyond wakening.

By the time I was finished, it was too late, I did come to the bench but by then it was almost morning and I had missed you.

I know that is not the best reason to stand up a girl like you,

Just know truly, if I could have come I would have, and I would have cherished our time together.

I feel monstrous for causing you such pain, and I can barely stand the pain myself.

I do not expect you to forgive me, But I beg for one more chance.

Do you think you could be merciful enough to give it?

And even if not, could I at least say goodbye properly?

If you will grant me this, I swear on my life, I WILL be at our bench tonight.

From dusk to dawn if I must.

Meet me there and I promise you I will apologise a thousand times,

And if you forgive me, I swear to you, I will do anything you ask of me.

I pray I will see you tonight my darling y/n.

Yours affectionately

Jack X'

I was unsure, I had felt so betrayed by him.

I had already wallowed in sadness for so long, but part of me did want to see him even if I did not forgive him at least to hear him out.

If I don't go tonight, this will surely be over.

and if I do, there is at least hope.

I don't know if I can forgive him... and even if I did who's to say this won't happen again, who's to say I simply am a kiss and run, who's to say I am... something worse, simply one of many girls he tosses around like this but the least I can do is be merciful and fulfil his request.

I brushed my hair and put on a dress, I felt nervous and afraid but I had hope even if it may have only been a fool's hope. I wanted so badly to believe him, I wanted to trust Jack, I wanted to see him even to just hear him explain himself. I snuck out the kitchen door and headed out of the garden I made sure not to be seen as I headed out and through the grass. I found the little bench and took myself a seat taking an orange in hand to toss it back and forth between my hands. I sat and counted the stars doing my best not to cry, to think I was here again waiting.

"Where are you, Jack?" I whispered my fear overflowing.

After a while, I took the orange set it on the grass gave it a gentle push to let it roll away through the garden grass.

"I don't know why I trusted you..." I sighed,

But I felt something hit my ankle, I looked down and saw the orange had rolled back to me hitting my ankle, for a moment I was confused but I looked in the direction I had rolled it.

And there he was.

Dressed the same as he was when I gave him my invitation, his brown trousers, white shirt, blue waistcoat, his purple coat and hat in hand.

"You came?" He smiled,

"So did you," I nodded,

"You look beautiful,"

"Thank you,"

"I uhh I wanna come closer I'm a little afraid you're mad at me." He chuckled tentatively taking a step or two closer, "Will you let me explain myself?"

"You May Dr Dawkins." I nodded,

He seemed upset but did his best to smile, "I am sorry, that's all I can say I'm sorry. I wanted to be here, more than anything. I'd been thinking about you all night, all day, you have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you." He said, "I went up to get changed and ready to come to see you then some guy comes in with a bloody hernia, Sneed was off god knows where and Prof was two bottles of whiskey deep into a desk nap. I didn't much have a choice, ended up being more complicated and by the time I got him sewn up... it was too late." He explained, "I did come, on a fool's hope you might still have been waiting for me, but you weren't. I don't blame you for giving up on me. I'd have done the same. I wanted to come to your window and apologise but - I don't know which is yours."

I chuckled a little,

"yeah, and I didn't exactly wanna guess wrong and get your Governess,"

"She's have pointed you in the right direction."

"So she is?"

"She seems to be," I nodded, "For now anyway."

"Great, I uhh I didn't wanna guess and get your father either I uhh I feel like that'd be a bit hard to explain."

Such an image tickled me of the thought of Jack climbing the windows to come to see me and finding himself at my father's window, I could Imagine my father's face, and Jack's.

"Ohh yes, Hello sir, what am I doing art your window? well uhhh no reason just on a stroll, you wouldn't happen to be able to direct me to your daughter would you?"

I couldn't hold back my laughter but neither could he, "I don't know, you're a doctor just say you're on your rounds."

"Ohh god no, some of these ladies in town here Doctors are making late-night bedroom window visits I'll never get any sleep." He laughed, "Do you think you can forgive me?"

"... I do."

He smiled and closed the gap between us taking my hands, "I was so afraid you'd never wanna speak to me again,"

"I very nearly didn't but the flowers were sweet."

"I'm glad you liked them, May I?"

"You may," I nodded,

He took the seat beside me set his hat on the side and slipped off his jacket, "I have missed you terribly."

"As have I," I smiled, "But..." I said as I took my hand from his.

"You're still upset with me?"

"Somewhat,"

"I will apologise a hundred times if that's what it'll take for you to forgive me."

"I do forgive you Jack, I just... I am struggling to have the trust you will not do it again."

"I wish I could swear I never will again, I wish I could." He said, "I think that brings us nicely to what I wanted to discuss last night, You and I. And the... The way we are to continue if that is even something you want?" He explained, "Is it something you want?"

"It is. Is it something you want?"

"More than anything." he nodded, "In that case there are things we both need to accept and understand."

"Yes, I'm sure there are." I nodded,

"The first is the hardest... if you want us to have a future together-"

"I do. I truly do."

"As do I, but if we are. The first thing you must come to understand is my job." He said, "I am a doctor. And Yes if we are to continue and our feelings grow, and one day our bud blooms into something more then Yes. You will be the most important thing in my world, but you must understand I am a doctor, I have a duty of care to all those in Port Victory. As much as you will be above all else you must understand I cannot turn my back on someone for your sake."

I nodded, "I wouldn't ask such a thing of you Jack,"

"You wouldn't?"

"No, Your work should be over me always."

"I don't want to have it be over you-"

"But it should, the greater good is that your work matters more than me. it would be selfish and cruel of me to keep you from your work, to take you away from it, even if you wish to spend time with me," I explained, "The life of a man, woman or child in your care should always trump my emotions."

"So you understand that?"

"I do, and I wouldn't have it any other way." I nodded, "Such is a choice one makes when one enters a relationship with a doctor."

"So we're entering a relationship now?" he flirtatiously smiled,

"I do hope so,"

"I hope so too." he nodded,

"I too have something I wish for you to understand."

"Of course,"

"I... I admit I have not always had this life, this level of society does still feel foreign to me,"

"You fear I will not be able to keep you?"

"No, no it's nothing like that. I... I know that this is not London, and I'm sure things are different given the change of circumstances, however. The rules of society apply here as much as they would in England, in India, in preu or even here in Port Victory," I explained, "Society has rules Jack, and I know already we have broken many of them, but if we are to go forward I would like us to do things properly, for the sake of my father, my family, That is something I need you to understand."

"You, want me to follow the society rules?"

"I do. And I hope you understand if this is to work, they must be followed. and if not then I do not wish us to."

He sat for a moment silently, he for a moment counted the stars, then chewed on his lip, before finally his eyes met mine again.

"I understand," he nodded, "If things continue they will continue properly, But I ask that you give me some leniency."

"Leniency?"

"I am a doctor, I spent a long time as a boy without social rules, and even longer on a ship in the navy where again the rules are... not as straightforward. I will do as you ask, I understand this is what you want but I ask you to be merciful and lenient at least early on, there are rules I do not know, will you be kind to me and let me off one or two for my ignorance?"

"I will allow that," I nodded, "That's only fair, but if I explain you a rule I do not expect to have it broken again."

"That's agreeable," he nodded.

"Good," I smiled, "So..."

"So..."

"I suppose now is the faithful question..."

"I suppose it is, May I ask you first?"

"You may,"

He smiled and looked into my eyes with a gentle smile, "Where do you see us? Where do you want us to go? Sweet Y/n, what future do you want for us?" He asked, "No matter your answer I will still tell you my own."

For a moment blushed, the heat rose in my cheeks, I felt outlandish but I wanted to be honest with him, there was no point in being untruthful.

"I see a life for us if you want one, I see us going forward, I want a future with you Jack,"

I held my breath waiting for his answer but it came swiftly,

"As do I." He smiled, "I want us to move forward, I do not want this to be a fling of a few evenings, I want us to be far more than that."

"You truly see a future for us?"

"I do, if you want one with me."

"I do if you want one with me too."

"I can't think of anything I want more." He smiled, "And as you know the social rules, where do we go from here?"

"Well, we can meet a few more times briefly and formally so long as my father is present, we may write to one another, and you may visit the house so long as my father agrees on it."

"And after that?"

"After that, we are to begin a courtship."

"A courtship?"

"Yes,"

"forgive me, I have never courted a lady before."

"No?"

"No. I am unfamiliar with the rules,"

"Well, you would of course have to ask my father for permission to court me, he would likely ask you a lot of questions,"

"I see, and if he was to allow us to court?"

"Then we would do so, we would court for a time, a few months at least, the shortest courtship my father will allow is six months."

"You've asked him?"

"I did, we spoke after my ball about men we agree upon,"

"Was... I on that list?"

"You were." I blushed,

"So your father is aware that you have an interest in me?"

"He is aware, I'm sure if you were to ask him for a meeting or even to discuss courtship it would not come as a surprise to him,"

"I see, and in this six months what are the rules?"

"We will be chaperoned,"

"Always?"

"Always." I nodded, "Our hands will not touch, we will not enter tight spaces together, our feelings and affairs will be our own other than in penmanship, we cannot travel alone, money must never cross our hands, we cannot give gifts, and of course, intimacy would be... utterly forbidden."

He gave me a look "Are you quite serious?"

"I am, such is the way of courting Dr Dawkins,"

"But... I've already kissed you."

"And that will have to remain our secret. Perhaps... we may exchange a kiss during our courtship secretly."

"You would permit me this? even if it breaks the rules?"

"I would, it seems foolish when we have already done so."

"And after six months of... courting, of being chaperoned and watched over without even a touch of your gloved hand. What then?"

"Engagement."

"Engagement?" he chuckled, "We'd get engaged?"

"We would, it is the outcome of courting, one should not court if you do not intend to engage, it is cruel to all involved."

"Understandable, don't want to waste your time." He nodded, "How would we go about our engagement?"

"Well, of course, you'd have to ask Father's permission, present me with a ring then you'd take over as my protector, we could go as we like unchaperoned, we could be alone together, we could be intimate privately as far as engagement allows."

"And how far does engagement allow?"

"So long as our wedding night is our first night together everything else would potentially be on the table."

"I see, and how long would our engagement last?"

"As long or as short as you wanted from then we would get married."

"Married, And I could make you Mrs Dawkins?"

"You could,"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, then that is how we shall move forward. I... don't know how long I will be able to stand being away from you, but I will write a letter to your father tonight to arrange our first formal meeting."

"I look forward to it." I blushed,

"As do I," He smiled, "and... perhaps if you, really couldn't wait to see me." he suggested playfully, "I am a doctor, and I'm sure if a young lady had a... tummy ache or headache I could perhaps pop by on my rounds?"

"That would be against the rules Jack,"

"I know, forgive me-"

"I think I'd allow it."

"Would you?"

"I think I would,"

He blushed a little, "You think you'd allow me... to deliver letters to you? myself? perhaps... via your balcony?"

I giggled, "Ohh?"

"I just don't want to risk our words being read by eyes over than our own."

"I think I could allow it."

"Do you think you'd allow me... to blow you kisses on your balcony?"

"I think I'd allow it if you permitted me to blow you kisses back Jack,"

"Humm" He chuckled, "Let me put it this way, you may want us to do things with the rules of society and etiquette and I am willing to go along with all of these rules for the sake of my feelings for you." he explained, "But, when it comes to me. I will not stop you, and I will allow my dearest darling to break as many rules as she pleases with me."

"You would?"

"I would, my... reputation, or lack thereof does not concern me. I do not fear gossip and talk, if my darling wants to do something with me, I will not stop her."

"Even if I was to... kiss you, or touch you, or -"

"Anything my little lady wants." He cooed,

"As much as I would adore indulging such a luxury, it's getting late we don't want to get caught again."

"Of course, get to bed don't let me keep you."

"Will I hear from you soon?"

"I will write and arrange a meeting with your father as soon as I get home, and I promise you will soon find me at your balcony with a letter for my dearest darling,"

"I look forward to it. Goodnight Jack."

"Goodnight Y/n."

I smiled and gave his lips a small kiss, his hand gently cupped my cheek as I kissed him, and he softly kissed me back. It felt as fantastic as our last kiss, and I never wanted it to end. But my fears took over and I moved back, I got up and adjusted my dress and he stood and fixed himself. "Sleep well Jack,"

"Sleep well yourself Y/n," he smiled kissing my hand before he began to leave the garden, and I headed back towards the house our slow steps letting our hands be slowly dragged apart, "Plesant dreams,"

"I will try, do try to have pleasant dreams yourself."

"I shall try, they will all be of you I am sure."

"As will mine," I blushed I blew him a kiss and he blew one back before we each went on our way.

I smiled listening to the bird's charming song, my head against my pillow, my arms around the cotton case stuffed with feathers, my nose nuzzling into the soft cotton, the sheets wrapped up around my legs, I felt so joyous, so peaceful, so utterly smitten with all things. I found myself in the half cling of sleep muttering as if my dreams and wakening were fighting for dominance over my body and mind, My sleep letting these words slip through.

"Ummm... Ummmm... Jack... ummmm... Jack... ummmm... My sweet Jack..." I muttered between my sheets, I blushed when It truly occurred to me what I was doing and I couldn't hold back my giggles, "Ummm... How I long to be in your arms, I can only imagine how long we shall have to wait until you and I can truly lay in my bed together, locked in one another's arms, I imagine now until were engaged." I blushed my fingers stroking the cotton of the pillowcase imagining the folders and hems of his white cotton shirt, dreaming for a moment more than his chest lay below my head, "But, something tells me my sweet Jack will not be able to wait so long." I giggled,

But I forced myself up and got dressed for the day, I sang along with the sweet birds outside my balcony window, unable to stop myself from doing a little dance to the song.

I heard the door open and Miss Hardcastle came in seeming surprised to see me this way, "My, You certainly have changed your tune."

"Certainly, why would I need to be gloomy when there is such wonder in the world?" I smiled taking her hand and dancing with her as I sang,

She was shocked and confused, moving away from my madness. "Well, this can surely only mean one of two things so either you lost your interest in Dr Dawkins quickly and have found another boy to ... fawn over." She said but I ignored her, "Or? am I to take it the day of you laying in bed as if the very world was ending was all for nought?"

I blushed but nodded,

"I see, so we are to take the last twenty-four hours as merely... what we hope shall be the first and last lovers' tiff."

"I'm sure of it." I smiled finishing brushing my hair and scampering down the stairs with joy, I went to the dining room and hugged my father.

"Ohhh hello, my sweet. Someone has leapt out of bed today." He laughed,

"Of course, so much worth getting up for!"

"I'm glad," he chuckled,

I took my seat and thanked the maid for my breakfast, I ate away at it kicking my feet from excitement and struggling to even stay still in my chair which was noticed by everyone. After a while one of the maids brought my father the post, I didn't much worry over it enjoying the last of my toast as he flicked through it sorting into little piles on the table depending on the business they were regarding.

"Humm?" He pondered to himself at one of them, he took the knife and opened the letter unfolding it and reading over the letter, He kept glancing up at me as he read it over and my curiosity grew as to why.

"Yes, father?"

"We have received a letter."

"Oh?"

"From one of your potential suitors."

"Ohh... I see." I said trying to hide my excitement but also my concern. "Is he one from the list?"

"Yes, You're only yes." He said

Miss Hardcastle and I shared a look, she knew, and she knew I knew, but we both had a silent agreement that some secrets are best kept from father. And my heart melted, that Jack had done as he said he would, he must have written it and sent it last night for it to arrive this morning. I wanted to know what was said but I was almost positive my father wouldn't tell me.

"Oh... My only yes." I nodded, "What does it say pray tell?"

"He has written to express his official interest in you." He smiled, "You're first of such letters."

"Ohh my, he has?" I smiled pretending I didn't already know,

"He has, very strongly in fact." He said, "He wishes to ask for a formal visit."

"He does, Ohhh..." I blushed trying to hide that I already knew,

"Well... as he is your one yes? Shall we write him back?"

I did my best not to look at Egar as I answered "I think that would be lovely Father."

"As do I, I shall write him back to arrange a formal visit. I take it the sooner the better?"

"I think so," I blushed,

"Alright, then again why waste the paper if we want sooner... I'll pop into the hospital today after my meeting." he smiled, "How does that sound?"

"I think that's perfect father."

I smiled so happily as I got into my dress for the afternoon, I stood by my ottoman looking at my mirror's reflection as Miss Hardcastle helped me into my dress, my hair and make-up, all done already, even if nothing compared to my debutant ball but still impressive. I know she wanted to do more for what would be my first official date but I slowed her intentions down a little stumbling and reminding her that Jack and I had seen each other more than once already. Of course, tried to push her more towards my ideas as if that is what Jack would prefer.

"Are you sure this needs to stay?" She asked as she finished with my little grey and blue dress and she looked at the red ribbon around my neck.

"I'm sure." I nodded,

"Miss Everset I know you have-"

"Lisa. Please. It needs to stay."

"If this man... is, a man you see a future with," she said, "You should bare your soul to him, you shouldn't keep yourself concealed."

"I thought this whole issue was to ensure I don't reveal so much,"

"You know what I mean." she rolled her eyes, "You should... let him see the scars of the girl he wants a life with."

"What in case they scare him away?"

"No," she said coming to look over my shoulder to look at the reflection, "Because sometimes seeing the brush lines of a painting makes you appreciate it all the more,"

"I will... In time." I said, "But not yet."

"Alright if you're sure Y/n," she said, "You ready?"

"I am," I blushed Happily fixing my dress and I scampered down the stairs excitedly, I went to the lounge. My father waited with a sweet smile, Miss Hardcastle stood in the corner and I sat on the sofa by the window with some embroidery in hand as I patiently waited.

I was doing my best to contain my excitement, as I waited impatiently.

I heard the door and I did my best not to jump or look too excited, I saw the maid heading to the door, and I hid my blush as I looked to the floor waiting to see if it was who I was already assuming it was.

"Dr Dawkins Has arrived Mr Everset." The maid spoke up,

I hid my blush and did my embroidery trying not to giggle, to think this was real. Jack and I were to see one another without worry of our secret being discovered, he was doing things properly and my father would see his intentions truly,

"Ahh perfect send him in." my father nodded,

and I couldn't help but look up as I saw him, Jack walked into the lounge dressed much as he often was to work at the hospital but clearly a little more cleaned up, we met eyes and for a moment I wanted to cry I was so happy.

"Dr Dawkins, Pleasure to see you again." My father smiled offering his hand,

"Ahh yes Sir, Pleasure to see you again too Mr Everset." Jack smiled taking his hand and giving it a firm gentlemanly shake

"And I'd like to introduce you to Miss Hardcastle my daughter's governess." My father indicated over to her,

"Pleasure to meet you," He smiled taking her hand and kissing it politely,

"And you doctor," she curtsied,

"and of course, My daughter Miss Y/n Everset." My father smiled indicating to me, "Who I am sure you're familiar with," He chuckled,

I smiled and got to my feet and stood with my hand out excitedly,

"Of course, I am delighted to see you again Miss Everset," He smiled kissing my hand,

"as am I Dr Dawkins," I smiled both of us trying to hide our blush given everything we had done and discussed in secret.

"Now, shall we begin?" My father asked,

"yes of course," Jack nodded,

I smiled and took my seat again, and of course, Jack had to sit with my father, and we had to be a good decent space apart due to us not even being courting yet.

My father and Jack discussed very basic things, the weather, the business of the town and other such things to discuss. I stayed quiet but I smiled whenever Jack and I caught eyes, until conversation turned to things I'd be interested.

"So? Tell me about yourself, Dr Dawkins."

"Yes of course, Well I uhh... I uhhh I was born in London England,"

"That right?"

"Yes sir."

"Ahh whereabouts?"

"Uhh... Just uhhh south of Clarkenwell Green."

"Oh, By Jove." he chuckled, "You know I spent quite a time in that area as a young man myself."

"Oh, what a coincidence,"

"In fact, My sweet Y/n was born only just down the road in the small maternity office." He laughed, "Perhaps, well It's ever so unlikely but perhaps once we may have crossed paths?"

"Uhh perhaps yes sir."

"My goodness... you know every day this world expands but then you see a moment such as this and are reminded really just how small it is."

"Yes Sir, Very small indeed."

"Your family?"

"Uhh humble. I didn't know them for long."

"Ahh yes, can be a mean old world."

"It certainly can,"

"And then you trained I suppose, in London?"

"Ohh No actually at uhh at thirteen I joined the Navy under Captain Grim, learnt my medical skills. Hands on. In the field."

"A navy man?"

"Yes Sir, a surgeon Lieutenant,"

"My father was a Naval man, died many years ago. I had always intended to follow in his steps but uhh life brought me her own challenges shall we say, it certainly would bring me some joy to... keep the Naval in the family, or the family in the Navy as it were." He chuckled "Of course we are far off from that sort of talk."

"Yes sir."

"How long were you in the Navy?"

"Ten years, sir."

"Ten years my goodness, and then I suppose your skills and history brought you to Port Victory?"

"Yes, The Hospital had just lost its surgeon when I arrived, so I very much took up the role."

"I see, I see." he nodded, "You Know Dawkins, I see you as very much a self-made man, that something you'd agree with?"

"Yes, certainly so sir."

"Good man." My father said his hands together on his desk with a wide smile that wouldn't leave him, "I have always thought of myself as a self-made man. Men like us Dawkins, we crawl ourselves up with our nails to get where we want to be, No matter the cost, No matter the time, No matter the pain. I see a lot of myself In you Dawkins."

"Thank you Mr Everset, that uhh that is a compliment I shall treasure."

"I must say, this has been a fantastic afternoon," He nodded, My father glanced at me questioningly and I gave him a smile, "If I may be so bold as to extend you an invitation to dinner on Thursday."

"Ohh yes absolutely, I'd be delighted Mr Everset, I would be thrilled to attend."

"Excellent, I'm sure we'll talk more of this then."

"Is Uhh is that all sir?" Jack spoke up,

"All?"

"I uhh I assumed we uhh we would perhaps discuss things?"

"We have discussed what we need to today, I'm sure we can discuss more at dinner on Thursday."

"Yes sir, forgive me I-"

"It's alright, I know my daughter is... Excited about you. I assume then you are of her too?"

Jack blushed, "I undoubtedly am sir,"

"Alright, we will discuss it on Thursday." He said, "Pleasure to spend the time with you Dr Dawkins, and I look forward to seeing you Thursday."

"As do I, thank you, sir."

They shook hands and he kissed Miss Hardcastle's hand, and then he took my own with a smile,

"I look forward to seeing you again Miss Everset,"

"As do I Dr Dawkins," I smiled

He kissed my hand and was led away with the maid and Miss Hardcastle.

My father glared at me as soon as we were alone. "He's an... Interesting gent."

"That he is father,"

"After today, is he still at the top of your list?"

"Yes."

"Do you still have... ambitions for him to court you?"

"I do."

"Very well, he certainly has ambitions to court you, that much is obvious." he laughed, "We will... touch on the topic at dinner on Thursday and if he wants to court you he can come to me the shortest courtship I'll allow is six months."

"You'll really allow us to court after just my ball and two evenings?"

"Y/n. My sweet." he chuckled, "I'm not stupid."

"Father?"

"I'm not stupid Y/n. You two are sweet on one another even a blind man can see as much. and I know... you two have spoken outside of these realms."

"I uhh I uhh-"

"Don't try to deny it," he chuckled,

"I won't. Did Miss-"

"No. Do you really think I wouldn't have taken notice, when I so clearly see my daughter is in love? and thus kept more tabs on her than I would have normally."

"I am sorry Father I-"

"Don't be sorry my sweet." He smiled, "I know how young love works." he smiled, "I will allow courtship as soon as he asks for it. It would be foolish to force you to be apart when you are merely to sneak away anyway."

"Thank you, Daddy," I smiled rushing over to give him a tight hug,

"It's alright My sweet. Love... it's a magical thing. You remember what I told you the day of your Ball?"

I smiled and repeated his words back, "When you see him, when you speak to him when you and him touch hands, there should be this... spark that makes you believe you're the only two people in the world"

"And even I can see, the moment he touches your hand, for both of you it's like you're all that exists?"

"It is the father."

"I knew so." he laughed, "But mostly because..." he said as he took my chin gently, "You Give Dr. Dawkins, The very look that I once saw in your mother when she used to look at me." He said getting choked up, "And the very look I see on him is that which I used to witness in the mirror whenever I looked, or even thought of your mother." He smiled, "If this is the man you want, I could not bare stand in your way." He said, "Go on now, up to bed my sweet."

"Thank you, Father, Goodnight."

"Goodnight," He smiled giving my head a kiss,

I smiled as I did some drawings before bed, still in a frenzy from this afternoon.

When I heard a stone click as it graced my balcony glass.

I didn't want to believe it at first but I so hoped it to be true, I went to the window just as another stone found its way to the glass. Quickly I opened the door and scurried out onto my balcony a small ledge only just large enough to stand myself, beside the tall tree where the bird's nest sat.

I looked across the darkness and saw a figure in the grass,

"Y/n! My darling!"

"Jack!" I hushed, "Quiet! My governess is merely two windows down and even father is not far, You cannot be so loud, we both know the trouble if someone found you here."

"I know, I'm sorry. But... I couldn't stay away."

"Ohh My sweet Jack," I cooed sitting on the stone and making sure my nightie hid me away, "You did so well tonight, I am so proud of you."

"Thank you, I did my best to... Impress your father, I'm not so sure he liked me."

"He likes you very much, He wouldn't have invited you to dinner if he hadn't"

"I suppose not, I look forward to it so much."

"As do I."

"I assume he has spoken with you?"

"He has, at dinner things will be discussed and after that, if you come to him, our courtship will be permitted."

"Truly?"

"Truly. He seems rather taken with you."

"I'm glad I could impress him enough to make him think I am worthy of his daughter."

"He thinks so, he says he sees a look in you that he saw in himself back when he saw my mother."

"I don't doubt it, I know I... struggle not to look at you, to hide my feelings for you. I hope if we are to court soon my feelings do not need to be such a secret."

"I hope so too." I smiled,

"Will you... allow me to see you again? between tonight and Thursday dinner?"

"I will Jack," I blushed, "I admit... it was hard this evening to see you in my home and yet be forbidden to hold your hand."

"You have no idea, seeing you across the room. I could barely keep my eyes off you. Knowing all I wanted was to go over take you in my arms, kiss you and tell you how I adore you my darling."

"I hope soon, we will be able to do so."

"I'm sure we will, but until then I do not mind visiting my darling as she sits bathed in moonlight," He smiled, "Bright angel, for thou art, As glorious to this night, being o'er my head, As is a wingèd messenger of heaven. Unto the white upturnèd wondering eyes Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him"

I couldn't help my giggles, "Dr Dawkins? I do believe you are reciting that of Romeo and Juliet."

"well, How could I not? when I find myself below your balcony?"

"I would not for the world they saw thee here."

"I have night's cloak to hide me from their eyes, And but thou love me, let them find me here. My life was better ended by their hate, Than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love."

"Ohh Jack," I blushed, "I did not imagine you as one to have read Shakespeare much less Romeo and Juliet. At least not to this familiarity."

"You'd be surprised what you find time for on a ship for ten years." he chuckled, "You seem to know it fondly?"

"A young lady was always encouraged to read the plays,"

"I shall have to re-read, so I may dazzle you with words."

"You have no need to Jack, You're words already dazzle me, and cause me to blush beyond measure."

"You are far too sweet to me my darling," He smiled before he blew me a kiss,

I blushed but blew him a kiss back,

"I cannot explain how beautiful you look, sat on your balcony for me."

"I admit, there is a handsomeness to you in the darkness below my window."

"Ohh I'm more handsome in the dark am I?"

"You know what I meant Jack," I laughed,

"I do, I think it's something of us being alone. Or perhaps that we know we are doing something we shouldn't be."

"I do think that's true." I nodded, "But... it's getting late, you have work tomorrow I do not wish to keep you up longer into the night,"

He smiled a moment but came as close as he could almost whispering in the darkness, "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

I giggled and acted up my best formal tone, "What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?"

"I think we both know the kind of satisfaction I would want, be it something we could do."

"Ohh My..." I blushed, "Doctor Dawkins..."

"But for tonight I will be satisfied with just one kiss."

"...I think I can allow that," I blushed,

He wasted no time, climbing the tree, I admit I worried for him but also was impressed by his agility, he climbed onto a branch a little too low to make the jump onto my balcony but he was close enough, so I held the stone and leant as far as I could before my feet would leave my balcony and he stretched up as much as he could which was enough for our lips to meet.

It felt like the sweetest kiss we had shared, when we pulled back I felt like I was flying.

"Whoa..." he gulped, "I don't know how but every kiss keeps getting better."

"I feel the same," I smiled, "Goodnight Jack,"

"Goodnight Y/n, sleep well my dearest. I will see you soon I promise."

"I will wait, for my Romeo to return, Impatiently"

He chuckled, "I promise it will be as soon as I can, How could I ever leave my Juliet all alone too long" he smiled giving my lips a sweet kiss before he climbed down the tree and blew me a kiss, I blew him a kiss in return before he headed away disappearing into the night.

#tbs smut #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #thomas sangster #doctor jack dawkins #jackdawkins #jack #jack dawkins #jackdawkinsartfuldodger #theartfuldodgerjack #theartfuldogger #thearttfuldodger #the artful dodger

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dungeonsngeese · 1 year

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i think there’s so much to be said about the overarching themes of the locked tomb series, but some of my favorites are the sheer breadth of humanity (both negative and positive) that is held in each and every person, and a person’s relationship with life and death.

we have gideon, who spent the majority of book one making horrendous jokes, swinging her sword and being the most classic rendition of a disaster lesbian, but even then underneath you could see the cracks leading to a deeper seeded sadness and anger. this is the gideon who as a child was attempting to run away to join the military every chance she got. the same gideon who would later quite literally jump at the opportunity to sacrifice herself for harrow when she thinks they have no other option. at one point harrow makes a comment about gideon losing her sense of self preservation, as if she ever truly had it. this is a girl who has spent her life convinced she shouldn’t have lived to begin with. she’s throwing someone else’s money at anything that catches her eye, not fully understanding the wallet is hers.

later we have kiriona, whose anguish was on full display and yet still made horrendous jokes, with a bit of extra bite. who had to make a conscious effort to hide the sides of her that obviously cared. the reflex of reaching for her coat, and the choice to keep it on herself. who we assume spent months being manipulated by ianthe and stewing in her fury at harrow, yet offered to die for her again at her first opportunity. she did it once, what’s twice gonna do? the wallet is empty, bring out jod’s checkbook.

and on the other hand harrow, who seemingly so rarely allowed herself to love others, yet whose entire existence continued due to her love of the corpse within the tomb. and later due to her love of gideon. she lobotomized gideon out of her memory to preserve her existence, and even without being able to remember who she was doing it for, she commanded herself to live. she wanted to die so badly, but in her mind the only thing she could do for them was to live as no one she had loved had been able to do for her. a girl who also believed she should never have lived, forcing herself to go on because the ones who should be living can’t and she sees it as her own fault. she has chained the wallet to her wrist and counts the coins every night.

and finally nona, who loved unabashedly and with reckless abandon. whose joy shone as brightly as her rage. who, free from the knowledge of the trauma her body mind and soul have endured, could allow herself to experience all of these emotions in excess and not be bogged down by the weight of it all. she was so delighted by every life she saw. and she was so ready for death. she couldn’t put into words how right her death would be, couldn’t find the comfort for those she would leave behind because she didn’t know how to make them understand she was ready. her wallet has a hole in it, and she’s been pouring out the coins and placing them lovingly into the hands of everyone she adores. then she eats the wallet.

anyways, this probably should’ve been two separate posts but i’m tired and it’s late so have my garble merry chrysler i love these lesbians so so much

#i am so fascinated by life and death #and how two people with the same base belief can have such WILDLY varying outcomes of said belief #harrow “i shouldn’t be alive but i’ll begrudgingly live for those who couldnt” nonagesimus #gideon “i shouldn’t be alive so i’ll happily offer my life to the first person who needs me” nav #i just think they’re neat #and want to put them in a facility #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #gideon nav #harrowhark #harrowhark nonagesimus

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romanarose · 4 months

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Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

#romana personal posts #cw suicide #cw self harm #cw csa #cw sa

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mikeellee · 3 months

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Hey, it's me again.

Man, I've seen protagonists and main characters get treated like dirt in movies, shows, comic books and video games, but Izuku is one of those characters that gets the worst of it because of rotten overrated side characters (in his case, it's Bakablow and his suck ups) and the amount of hate he gets from the writer. Trust me, i've seen characters treated THAT badly.

I'm sure glad I stick with fanfictions, at least Izuku gets more love from some authors.

Like, check out a fanfic called Izuku's Pet Noumu. It's a story where Izuku has a female childhood friend who was turned into a Noumu (not made of corpses), i won't spoil much but characters were a lot nicer to him, everyone loves him when and after the Sports festival started, thanks to a moment you're gonna love, Best part is that nobody sucks up to hori's gary stu, not even heroes and teachers. And Izuku gives himself a better name. Also 1-B students aren't treated like garbage! the story will feature characters from other series. But seriously, you're gonna love Izuku's friend, she helped him stand up for himself and grow as a person. and when they're reunited, she's flat out adorable, In every sense of the word and Terrifying to fight against.

Hi @mega321boom

So I think I heard of the fic but never read it. Why? Bc gone be honest with you...I was sick and tired of the trope "Izu is torned into a nomu but he wants to be a hero still" it alway give me a sour taste.

Yes, you said this fic is not like this as is someone else who is turned into a nomu. So ok may check out.

I often compare Izu with Natsu from Fairy Tail. Look Natsu is the typical shonen mc: he eats a lot, scream, likes a good fight, loves his friends and is on a big quest.

The thing here is....Natsu got better than Izu in every possible way.

Natsu has people who show genuine affection for him. Take this scene: in a flashback people of his guild found out he cant read...what you think everyone did? Of course ...help him learn.

He has friends.

Izu has none.

Also Natsu has a generic power that works well for the story...he can use fire. Thats it. And who is stronger here? Natsu.

Izu has a quirk that is suicidal (deliberated on Hori's part as chap 1 begins with suicide baiting for Izu ONLY) as well useless. It breaks his bones (it never break AM's bones or anyone else) and its boring...save from tentacles.

Izu has the worst and Hori and fandom are proud of ruining a good story for BK's sake. In a way its lile they never left chap 1...they live there. Bk still abuses Izu and Izu needs to accept as his reality.

Sorry a bit ranty. I just hate how Hori can't be professional with his own mc.

And I think the follow will happen

Izu will lose an arm

Izu will sacrifice his quirk

Izu will birth Baby Tenko from Shig.

And it will be Star's quirk who will save the day.

#hori is a bad writer #a really bad one #izuku deserves better #mha critical #mha fics can be a land mine too #fanon and canon can be worse #anti bakugou #bnha critical

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chaoticgoblinwife · 5 months

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AHHHH

I've yet to see anyone talk about the wretched mirrors represented by Snow and Peeta, and I love it so much. Like two boys who fall in love with the beloved songbird of district 12 and how that relationship was shaped by them themselves.

Peeta who wants his songbird to be free, he wants to love Katniss, but only in a way Katniss will accept love from him. Only in a way in which she will be happy and free to be who she is with the people she loves, because that's the songbird he fell in love with. Peeta who when asked to run away with Katniss into the woods, says yes- but we have to take everyone you love with us. He knows that he'll forgo comfort, that life will be hard, but it's worth it because he has enough love to be happy with it. Peeta, who in a cruel and unforgiving world, always chose love and trust no matter how many times it hurt him.

Contrast that with Snow who wants HIS songbird under HIS control, caged in his living room, to put on a show when asked. He wants to 'love' Lucy Gray in a way that keeps her under his thumb and fundamentally changes who she is- because she's district and that will never be good enough. Snow never fell in love with a free songbird, he heard the song of a trapped one and wanted to live in it forever. Snow can't run with Lucy Gray, because he can't give up himself for anyone. He cares more about HIM, his comfort, his ease of life, his new sense of importance, means far more than a songbird that slips its cage. Its a cruel, unforgiving world, and Coriolanus Snow decides to embrace it.

Like the difference between the two is fundamentally how they deal with the coldness of the world around them, whether responding with constant and unyielding warmth and compassion versus letting the coldness set in and take over until its all that remains.

And don't even get me started on them coming from similar lives of struggle and proceeding to move past it in diametrically opposed ways and how that ties into the conscious choices they make to be the people they are, like Snow constantly jockeying for a chance to fit in with his richer peers and trying so hard to keep up the illusion of status versus Peeta who knows that his family only gets to eat what's old or slightly defective and still fucking something up so badly -ON PURPOSE- so that he can give it to a classmate he knows is starving, knowing that he will be beaten for it and it will probably affect his own family's food because not only can they not sell that bread, they cannot eat it either.

Snow who decides that he will never love again because love is the death of power, and Peeta who multiple times in the series *loves Katniss so fucking hard it nearly kills him* (purposefully teaming up with the careers, the berries, being hijacked, being on the capitol team).

I'm sure there are so many more wonderful things I'm missing but I've typed to the point my arthritis is kicking in and my wrist hurts, so in conclusion, AHHHHHHHHH JESUS FUCK I LOVE THESE BOOKS AND SUZANNE COLLINS GOD SHE'S FUCKING BRILLIANT!

#the hunger games #hunger games #thg series #thg #peeta mellark #thg peeta #coriolanus snow #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

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alwayschasingrainbows · 4 months

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Tangled Web by L. M. Montgomery chapter 1 part 1 (my commentary).

Disclaimer: this post does not contain Tangled Web's spoilers, but there are several references to other LMM's books; The Blue Castle, Emily of New Moon, Anne of Green Gables, Jane of Lantern Hill, Marigold. I tried to keep it spoiler-free (but there are some minor spoilers for Emily and The Blue Castle), so just in case - all references to other novels are written in a blue colour!

Commentary:

The first sentence is so fascinating! It indicates that there are many mysteries and rumors associated with Aunt Becky's jug, which we are yet to discover. I love how Montgomery tells us that "this story is true" - it makes a reader feel important, as if they had been appointed to become a guardian of the most important family's secrets to which only a select few were allowed.

It is worth noting that family heirlooms (which jug seems to be) have always been an important aspect of Montgomery's books (A Lost Diamond in Emily's series, Marilla's amethyst brooch, Anne's porcelain dogs: Gog and Magog). We don't know a thing about the jug yet - whether it is beautiful or ugly, old or new, in a perfect condition or badly damaged. We don't know the stories associated with the jug, nor its origins. Yet, we realize that the jug will be the axis of this story.

Montgomery, as always, manages to interest the reader in a few short sentences, while at the same time introducing us to some characters. The above-mentioned characters (named Peter Penhallow, Big Sam Dark, Dandy Dark and Penny Dark) seem to be mere actors in this comedy-drama, whose epicenter is the jug. The allusions are delightful: "Peter Penhallow might to-day have been photographing lions alone in African jungles, and Big Sam Dark would, in all probability, never have learned to appreciate the beauty of the unclothed female form". A pure genius!!!

It's fascinating that sometimes the smallest objects can change a person's entire life, as was the case with Aunt Becky's jug. The object is therefore a symbol; just as in The Blue Castle, a rose bush symbolizes new life, freedom and happiness, just as in Emily's Quest The Lost Diamond became a symbol of creativity and literary success. What will it symbolize? According to the short description we are given in this paragraph; a change.

I love the idea of a novel, centred around a big family. Family bonds are incredibly important in Montgomery's novels: sometimes they are freeing (as was the case with Anne), sometimes they teach one about life (as was in Emily's case), sometimes they make it impossible to be oneselves (as was in Valancy's and partly, Jane's cases).

The family in The Tangled Web seems interesting from the very beginning. The idea of marrying only close relations seems... concerning, by today's standards. In real life, children, born to closely related parents, are more prone to suffer from the health-issues (we'll see if that is the case in the novel, too).

On the other hand, the marriage between first cousins may not have seemed too concerning in these times. It occurs in other Montgomery's novels, too (for example, The Murrays trying to marry a seventeen year old Emily Starr to her cousin, Andrew Murray).

I absolutely adore the idea of Aunt Becky being the head of the clan! In some respects, Montgomery really was ahead of the times in which she had lived. She created many strong, determined female characters, who ruled the family (Aunt Elizabeth, Rachel Lynde, Jane's and Marigold's grandmothers, Miss Cornelia Bryant, or even Marilla).

Aunt Becky's "honesty" reminded me a bit about Valancy's Aunt Isabel ("Aunt Isabel prided herself on saying what she thought, but didn’t like it so well when other people said what they thought to her".)

Aunt Becky seems to be a fascinating character! I really enjoy her "I am throwing a pre-funeral party, but if you want to eat anything, bring your own food, I am not going to bother about this on my death-bed" or "Please don't pretend to cry over my death" vibes. What a lady!!!

Also, there is something in Aunt Becky that reminds me of Mr. Carpenter's words: "Somehow—one needs—a spice—of evil—in every personality. It's the—pinch of—salt—that brings out—the flavour."

I love the idea of Aunt Becky's "levees"!

Uncle Pippin reminds me a little about Valancy's Uncle Benjamin (although he doesn't crack any bad jokes yet). We shall see what he turns out to be. The allusion to the uncertain history of his conception seems very interesting, too. Quite risky for a Montgomery's work, I would say!

"I've a hunch that the old lady is going to start something," said Uncle Pippin to his white nag." - me too, dear Uncle Pippin, me too.

And I can't wait for this!!!!

#lm montgomery #tangled web book club #a tangled Web

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crispy-chan · 2 years

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yellow wood ➻ b.ch

➻ PAIRING. bang chan x fem!reader

➻ GENRE. angst, fluff, action; the darkest minds!au, runaway!au, dystopian, superpowers

➻ WARNINGS. language, violence, blood, children are all in 'rehabilitation' camps, injuries, themes of trauma and death, one instance of implied assault (that is stopped), kissing, innuendoes, food, superpowers (PG-13)

➻ WORD COUNT. 29k

➻ SUMMARY. after a horrible disease had spread across the world, killing most children, the ones that survived were left with special powers. not long after, the government began rounding up all of the remaining children, sending them to camps in hopes of "treating" them. but you all know the truth...

they were never worried about the kids that might die. they were afraid of you - the ones who lived....

➻ A/N. welcome to the first instalment of my new series 'the owners of clé'. i began working on this fic back in june 2021 but 95% of it was written in the past six weeks. it's inspired by 'the darkest minds' my favorite ya book growing up (be wary - there are some spoilers!) and the fic is full of (sometimes cringy) quotes from the book bcs i was whipped and chan is also whipped </3. i worked really hard on this fic and i'm kinda happy with how it turned out so feedback is as always appreciated :3. tysm to @jakes-tummy for the beautiful banner <3 part of the once upon a time collab by @daybreakx !! Tysm for being so patient with me T_T and I apologize for the endless delays </3

➻ GLOSSARY. PSI — a term that refers to the surviving children of the disease that developed special powers. PSF (psi special forces) — a government organization meant to control, contain and watch over kids in camps. skip tracers — adult bounty hunters that hunt for kids with psi abilities and turn them in for profit. white noise (calm control - cc) — a sound at a frequency that only psi can hear.

MASTERLIST | CLÉ MASTERLIST

𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

When the White noise went off, you were in the gardens, pulling weeds.

You always reacted badly to it, a lot worse than all the others and you never understood why. It didn't matter if you were outside, locked in your cabin, or eating in the Mess Hall. Wherever you were, the White noise managed to get into your head, mess with your mind, and get you on your knees.

When it blasted, it felt like someone was repeatedly hitting your head with a hammer, and it always took you hours, as opposed to the few minutes the other girls took, to pick yourself up and return to previous activities, taking care of the West Creek facilities like it wasn't a prison they were forced to stay at. It was quite ironic, to say the least.

You didn't expect this time to be any different from all the other times.

But it was.

Having not seen what happened to provoke the punishment, you had the privilege of fantasizing about what horrendous thing some kid must have done. Maybe someone got bold (and stupid) enough to bravely step out of the designated area you were bound to. Or perhaps someone lived out the dirty fantasy you all shared and threw a rock at one of the PSF Special Forces soldiers.

If that's what they did, you could definitely understand, maybe even say that it was fully worth it.

You too would have done anything to make them suffer, at least a little bit. Just like any kid here in West Creek, you wanted them to feel at least a crumb of pain that they put you through.

The speakers situated in every corner of the “camp” spurted out two warning blares that served to immobilize you. The first one was short and strong; like a powerful jab to the stomach, whereas the second one was way more prolonged. The skin on your neck crawled and you felt shivers run down your spine as you hunched forward into the dirt, pressing your palms to your ears to try to block out as much of it as you could.

To the State government and the Department of PSI Youth, the alarm was a lovechild between a dental drill and a car alarm, that was racked loud enough to make some less fortunate kid's ears bleed.

The sound blasted out of the speakers rendered you all useless. It rippled through the air, shredding every nerve in your tired, overworked body, forcing its way past your hands which were—may you add quite pitifully—trying to block the loud noise.

It got so intense that a girl next to you screamed out in pain as blood gushed out of her ears, drizzling her uniform in what would normally look like cranberry sauce. You on the other hand fought the urge to ram your head into the dirt ground, knowing that once this would pass, you wouldn't be allowed to shower properly, and after years of living here, you knew that the grime fifteen seconds you had under the cold showerhead wouldn't give you enough time to properly wash your unruly locks.

You bit your lower lip in order to prevent yourself from bursting into tears. That would only result in more punishment.

And then it all stopped...and silence followed.

𝚡𝟶𝟷𝚡

Chou Tzuyu was the first to die. Or at least the first in your fourth-grade class in Glow elementary school. At the time, probably tens of thousands of children were dead. The government simply managed to do a really good job of hiding it from you.

People were too slow to piece it together, and by the time they all realized that the deaths were connected, it was too late. When it finally came to light that the excessive passing of children wasn't exactly a coincidence, the school had already put a strict ban on teachers talking to you about the situation. They thought that it would be better to keep you all in the dark, as they all prayed for the finding of a proper cure that could potentially save you all.

The disease was later called the Choi disease, after Choi Beomgyu, presumably the first victim of the mysterious death. Yet it wasn't just Choi's disease...it was all of yours.

During the excruciating weeks that lead up to you being taken to the camp, you were still entirely in the dark, stuck in your world of drawing and playing catch in the backyard. The night before, when your mom read you a bedtime story right before you fell asleep, a smile present on your lips, you would've never expected the tragedy that was about to occur.

That night it had rained, which meant that your mom sent you to school wearing purple rain boots. In class, you talked about dinosaurs and practiced some simple math before Mrs. Min dismissed you for lunch break.

You remembered every detail of lunch that day. You remember staring at the beef stew on your plate with disgust as you eyed the lunch lady warily. You remember racing with Renjun for the last spot at one of the tables.

The table where all the popular kids dined, including Chou Tzuyu.

You remember her passionately arguing with Mina about whether there was a strand of hair in her stew.

“I'm not a liar!” Tzuyu argued, her cheeks tinting pink as the tips of her ears turned red in embarrassment. The entire class was now watching the brawl as Tzuyu helplessly tried to locate the hair she claimed to have seen on her plate. “I swear it was here just a sec—”

Her movements halted.

The fork she used to dig through the food slipped out of her hand, banging against the delicate porcelain of the plate. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were trained at something beyond your head. You swiftly turned around hoping to see what she was oh so desperately looking at when you heard a thud.

Silence followed before loud screams and calls for help erupted from everywhere around you. When you turned back at her, you saw her body slump down in the seat, eyes trained at the ceiling as a little drool escaped her mouth.

One of the teachers immediately ran towards the girl, lowering her ear to her chest, listening for a heartbeat. Her face went paper white as she heard none, but at this point, you and your classmates still thought that she had fainted, similarly, like Sunoo did a few weeks prior during dodgeball.

The school nurse rushed towards her limp body, pushing the teacher away and instead trying to pump her chest multiple times before she lowered down and pressed her lips to hers, attempting CPR. Despite all her best efforts, the girl wasn't waking up. And once Mark nudged her hand with the tip of his sneaker, you all finally realized that she was dead.

Loud screams erupted, and panic flooded the cafeteria as the teachers desperately tried to contain the children, trying their best to calm them down and set some order.

You stayed glued to your spot, eyes hazy as you trained them at the spilled cup of orange juice on the floor that the nurse knocked over when she tried to save your classmate.

If it wasn't for the security guard that carried you outside once the Special Forces came in, who knows how long you would've stayed.

At home, you could only remember seeing president Hwang address the nation in sorrow, announcing that the disease has spread and that it was endangering the lives of all the children.

But then it hit you. The government was never scared of the kids who might die. Quite the opposite—they were scared of the ones that would survive. It was never about the ones that lost their lives. It was about containing the ones that would remain.

They were afraid of you.

𝚡𝟶𝟸𝚡

The rain was blasting against the windows on the day they brought you to West Creek.

You were seated inside of a school bus, along with about seventy other kids, all of you covered in sweat, grime, and tears. Most of you were pulled out of your homes at the most unfortunate times, including you. Dressed in your pajamas and no shoes, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant, your body was shivering as it tried to contain some of your heat. But you knew better than to complain.

Amidst everything that the soldiers have told you when they shoved you aboard the vehicle, silence was the most important one. That's why you focused on keeping your eyes trained out the window and watching each building in the distance come and go.

Your hands were tied behind your backs with a thick rope, making the entire five-hour ride painfully uncomfortable. You could already tell your wrists would be sore.

After they had forcibly taken you from your home, you were dragged, along with hundreds of other kids, into the city hall which was transformed to offer very little comfort, but to take in as many children as possible. Your ten-year-old self didn't understand at the time that there was no going back.

It took more than six years for it to finally sink in.

Ever since the first meeting you had with the doctor, you could sense the dread filling your gut before you even knew of anything. The man introduced himself as Dr. Kim, or simply Namjoon as he insisted you called him.

You were sat in a white, leather-bound chair, akin to the one at the dentist, and a large scanning device was hung above your head. The tremors wracking through your body must've been clearly visible, as he quickly jumped to point at the large poster on the wall.

“You see, after the disease broke out, each and every child was left with a… a power. A lingering side effect of the Choi disease.”

He cracked his knuckles, turning from the computer to give you a wry smile. Pushing up the glasses on the bridge of his nose, he questioned, “do you have any symptoms? Were you pre-classified when they took you?”

You shook your head mutely, still unable to mutter a single word. When the PSFs took you, the only thing on your mind was what had just happened. The memories of your own mother, staring at you like she didn't know who you were, like you were a stranger in her house, made the bile rise in your throat once again.

“Okay, so let's start from the basics,” he pointed at the lowest point of the pyramid. “The first category, and the one you're most likely to be placed in, are the Greens. These children possess a very high IQ and are able to solve puzzles and memorize tens of digits at a moment's glance.”

You suppressed the urge to violently shake your head. That wasn't you.

“Next, we have the Blues—who can lift things with their sheer willpower—like telekinesis, basically.”

‘Oh,’ you thought. So those were the kids that were trying to break out of the PSFs hold by moving rocks at them.

“Then, we have the Yellows and the Reds, who can respectively control electricity and wield fire. It's a pretty dangerous power when not kept under control, although they are pretty rare.”

“And lastly,” he clasped his hands together, a grim shadow casting over his face, “there's the Oranges, the most dangerous ones.”

Upon seeing the look of horror on your face, he hurriedly reassured, “Don't worry, you likely will never come into contact with one of those. They make up about 0.003 % of the population. The chances that you'll even cross paths with one of them is abysmal.”

Your hand clutched onto the armrest, nails digging into the faux leather as your voice cracked, “T-Their powers?”

“Mind control. They can enter people's minds, mess around with their memory and freely control them to do anything.”

You felt your heart fall into the pits of your stomach. This sounded… oddly familiar. If you were to classify what happened to your parents, you'd likely say something along the lines of their memory of you being erased. But what could've caused it? You didn't do anything out of the ordinary, did you?

Your hand just brushed against her arm as you pleaded, looking into her eyes…

And then it hit you. Touch. Could it have been activated by you touching her?

Your train of thought was interrupted by a loud cough, Dr. Kim's eyes glancing at you with a mixture of worry and suspicion. In a hurry, you mustered up the most “innocent-child-like” expression you could, hoping that he wouldn't ask any further questions.

“I'll have to scan your brain to see what color is beginning to develop inside of you, okay?” he gestured towards the device hanging above your head.

You could feel your hands begin to tremble. If this thing could find out what you were from just a simple scan, it would mean that Dr. Kim would find out soon. He would know, and then, they all would know.

Clenching your fists, your eyes shut as the beeping sound echoed through the room, the rhythmic clicking of the keyboard coming to a jarring stop. Namjoon's eyes widened at the warning sign that popped up on his screen before he hastily recomposed himself, his hand gently reaching to pat you on the head.

“It's okay, don't worry. I just have to call a colleague of mine to help me with something, alright? I'll be back—”

“No,” your hand shot out, panic flooding your veins as your little fingers clutched onto his wrist. “Please don't go.”

He sighed at the desperation in your pleading tone, breaking out of your hold. “I'll be right back, don't worry—”

Suddenly, your eyes flashed bright orange, pupils dilating as grabbed onto his hand once more. This time, with much more force. Hiding the tremble in your voice, you uttered, “don't go! I am green… I am a Green. I'm not a threat.”

His eyes went blank as he nodded, almost mechanically, retracting his hand from the receiver behind his belt. “You are a Green.”

“Okay. N-Now mark me as one in the system.”

𝚡𝟶𝟹𝚡

“Ouch,” you winced, shoving the tip of your finger in your mouth, and tasting the copper flavor of blood on your tastebuds. The thick, long needle you were forced to sew with had pricked your finger once again, this time drawing blood.

You hated working in the textile factory with passion.

The Sun was always glaring at you through the shabby roof, the wind would gust through the ruptures in the wall and the rain would drip on you through the cracks in the cement. Not to mention the dozen of PSFs standing behind you and breathing down your backs as their beady little eyes carefully watched out for any tiny mistake, something that would give them an excuse to scream at you.

You could feel your eyes getting heavy, lashes fluttering to try to keep them open. The muscles in your arm were twitching, causing you to drop the needle to the ground. Groaning, you bent down in hopes of finding it in the dirt but to no avail.

You were about to turn around to ask for a new one when you bumped into someone's chest. A woman, you assumed in her late thirties, was glaring down at you with her teeth barren, rifle hanging off her chest.

“You're doing this all wrong,” she sneered, pointing at the jacket you were sewing together. “Not to mention you're slacking off on the job.”

You furrowed your brows, focusing all your energy on not exploding. This was exactly what she'd wanted—for you to lose your cool and give her an incentive to punish you.

“Why are you so sloppy? I thought you Greens were supposed to be smart… Yet you can't even follow instructions properly.”

Next to you, Jeongin's hand slowly extended from under the table to gently palm at yours. It was his way of subtly reassuring you, telling you that he was there.

“Don't say anything,” he mouthed grimly, hoping that he had managed to convey the number one unspoke rule of the camp.

Never talk back to PSFs.

“What's with this stitching?” she jabbed you in the side, finger moving to point at the piece of clothing in front of you. Her teeth were bared, like a wild animal deprived of food and ready to pounce. But that didn't change the fact that the stitching was perfect.

Sewing wasn't that hard, and after having done the same job for years, it would've been almost laughable if you weren't able to do a simple backstitch by now.

“Answer me, Green!” she yelled in your ear, the taunt in her voice clear as day. It was an old trick by now, something you've seen happen so many times and you wouldn't let yourself fall into that trap.

When you didn't respond, a round of snickers echoed through the run-down building, the other PSFs enjoying the show. The woman looked around angrily, seconds away from dragging you away. Tears were already welling up in your eyes, knowing what would likely follow.

However, just as she was about to grab your arm and pull you out of the line, a loud clank resonated through the air, and everyone went quiet. If people weren't watching before, they sure were now.

Snapping your head to the side, dread filled you up as you watched your friend stare at the ground. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Jeongin kept his eyes trained at the crate he just pushed off the edge of the table. A dark shade of red blossomed on his cheeks and from the corner of your eye, you noticed that his hands were trembling.

And then it hit you—he did it on purpose.

He successfully managed to take the attention away from you, thus freeing you from the unwanted spotlight you were cast in. Cries bubbled up in your throat but you knew better than to let out a single noise.

Instead, you watched as the PSFs hauled him away, a single tear rolling down your cheek. Jeongin stayed quiet the entire time, but as he was dragged through the doorframe, he turned around to catch your gaze. Before he disappeared completely, his lips formed a weak smile, as if reassuring you that everything would be okay.

Well, to be completely truthful, it wasn't…

𝚡𝟶𝟺𝚡

Three full days passed before Jeongin returned to your cabin.

That was 72 hours, 4320 minutes, and 259200 seconds. And while the days at West Creek used to fly by in a monotonous haze, having repeated the same routine for years, these past three days were nothing but excruciating pain.

It was almost like you could feel each second.

The anxiety was eating away at your insides, and you often found yourself returning to an old habit you thought you had gotten rid of back when you were in second grade—biting your nails. But the stress of not seeing Jeongin for so long causes your heart to cave in from the inside.

You were sitting outside the cabin, hogged up with your blanket when you finally spotted him.

He was walking back from the closed-off sector of the camp, and even from your spot on the ground, you could see that he was limping. His right leg was visibly injured, you noted, and from the way he clutched onto his stomach, you would assume that he hadn't eaten in a long time.

“Jeongin,” you sprung up to your feet, running up to him. Despite his horrible state, you were glad to see him back alive. Jeongin, however, didn't seem to share the sentiment. He breathed out a shaky breath but didn't respond, leaving you to worry for him even more.

“Look, I left you something from dinner,” you gestured towards the small tray with food, attempting to break the ice, but he simply shrugged you off, walking (or rather limping) past you. When you turned around and called for him, he finally murmured, “I-I'm sorry… I just need to be alone now…”

With a heavy heart, you watched as he dragged himself back into the cabin before unceremoniously plopping himself on his bunk, immediately falling asleep.

That night, as he tossed and turned under you, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. No one really knew how the PSFs punished you, except for the children who have been punished themselves, of course. But it didn't stop you guys from forming your own theories.

And that was how most of the stories came to be, some just baseless rumors created to occupy your mind with something other than the neverending cycle of monotonous work at the factory, while others were a mix of that and the little snippets of truth that one of the unfortunate children could confirm after having experienced it first hand.

And that night, you realized a sad, bitter truth. Talking to Jeongin, laughing with him, eating together in the mess hall… it would never be the same.

Actually, Jeongin would never be the same.

Not after what they had done to him.

𝚡𝟶𝟻𝚡

You spent the following days nervously trailing behind your friend, unsure of how to act around him after what had gone down. The circles under his eyes were heavy, and the way he carried himself seemed almost lifeless.

Every time he wordlessly passed you in the gardens, you felt your heart shatter. Guilt washed over you, sweeping through your mind and trickling into every crevice of your conscience.

How could you not feel like it was your fault?

As you grappled with the wrenching feeling of penitence, the days went on, burly winter days bleeding into spring. The few flowers that were left were beginning to bloom and they lent West Creek a sort of coziness, as unreasonable as it sounded, but when in peril, you had to find joy in the little things.

You were begrudgingly digging your fork into the mystery vegetable soup when Jeongin suddenly slammed his tray next to yours, plopping into the seat beside you.

Your eyes shot up to him, confused, as you shoved another spoonful of the suspicious liquid into your mouth. Seconds later, you regretted that decision, nearly gagging at the salty flavor.

“Yeah, I wouldn't eat that if I were you,” Jeongin's lips quirked upwards into a half-smile as he tore off a piece of bread. You watched him, slightly jealous, as he ate the only thing that was edible in this entire canteen—stale bread.

When he noticed how you gazed at it, some drool appearing at the corners of your mouth, he chuckled, splitting the remaining piece in half. “Here you go.”

You stared at it for a few seconds before it finally registered. Blinking, you look up at Jeongin, making sure that this wasn't just a dream.

“Go on,” he noded in your direction, nudging the bread into your hand. “You can eat it. The lunch lady gave me some—I think she heard about the incident and felt bad…”

“Thank you.”

The two of you continued to eat in silence, the bustling crowd of kids slowly dissipating until it was just you guys who were left. There was this weird sort of tension in the air, everything around you suddenly feeling heavy.

As if on cue, Jeongin turned around to face you, a serious expression on his face. His hand extended under the table, enveloping yours as he whispered, so quietly that you almost missed it.

“We have to escape from here.”

At first, you snorted. It was a natural reaction to something as preposterous as escaping from this hell on earth. There was no way he was serious, was there? This was ludicrous…

“I'm not kidding,” he spoke hushedly, training his eyes at the ground. Then, his expression morphed into one of fear as he stuttered, “T-They're gonna send me away…”

Immediately, your grip on his hand tightened. “What do you mean?” you implored, tears welling in your eyes. “Why would they be sending you away?”

A-All of us,” he choked out. “They're sending all of us Yellows away next week. Just like they did to the Reds before…”

N-No… no. this couldn't be happening. This absolutely couldn't happen. Biting down on your lip, you could feel your mind beginning to shut off. Jeongin, having spotted your reaction, immediately reached to caress your face.

“It's okay, Y/N. Please, don't cry…”

You wiped away the tears with the back of your hand, looking back at him. “A-Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he let out a frustrated groan, running his hand through his hair. “I heard some of the PSFs discussing it. It seems like their decision is final.”

You desperately tried to keep the tears at bay, burying your head into his chest. Sniffling, you gripped onto his yellow uniform. “What are you going to do?”

Taking a deep breath, he looked around to make sure no one was listening. When he found the coast clear, he whispered, “I want to escape this hellhole. I was hoping you'd agree to come with me…”

He was awfully gentle about it, making sure to phrase his thoughts in a manner that wouldn't sound like he was forcing you to come with him. He was well aware of the risks, and he himself had no problem putting his life on the line if it meant he could escape from this prison.

But he wouldn't be able to live knowing that he had left you behind. That's why he was asking you in the first place while giving you an option to reject his offer.

All his qualms dissolved into dust when you responded, voice slightly shaky but with an air of conviction.

“I'll come.”

𝚡𝟶𝟼𝚡

The following morning, you and Jeongin woke up at the crack of dawn, in hopes of preparing for your little mission before all the others would wake up. Granted, there wasn't not much for you to do; you didn't own any memorabilia and Jeongin insisted that he had a plan, a plan he was so confident in that his certainty never wavered.

“Are you ready?” he asked, helping you put on your backpack filled with knickknacks the two of you thought could be useful once you escaped. Looking over at him, worrying your lower lip between your teeth, you nodded.

“Still don't want to tell me this grand plan of yours?”

He smiled, opening his mouth to speak when a loud beeping noise echoed in your ears. A glint appeared in his eyes. “Come on, we need to go,” he mumbled, grabbing your hand and running towards the north sector of the fence.

“We don't really have much time, but a new shipment of PSI children is arriving today. Most of the PSFs will be guarding the main entrance.”

When you raised your brow, he continued, “I heard them talking about it. One of the guards mentioned that nearly everyone will be sent to the main gate to handle the transaction. We should be safe for as long as they're away. We have maybe around ten or fifteen minutes.”

The two of you managed to slip through the narrow alleyways between the cabins, successfully avoiding the main path where you were likely to be spotted. It took nearly five minutes of continuous running to reach the tall, electric fence that bordered West Creek.

“I-I don't get it, Jeongin,” you implored, breathing in deeply. You haven't run like this in ages. “What now? How do you want to escape?”

“Well,” Jeongin paced towards the left, pointing at a small rip in between the thick cord of metal. “This is our ticket out of here.”

His voice rang in your head. He sounded so triumphant as if he was convinced that this was truly the way to get out of West Creek. You hated to be a killjoy, but you weren't able to suppress the disappointment that painted your face.

“Hey, hey,” Jeongin called out to you, cupping your face. “Don't worry, I have it all under control.”

The way your lashes fluttered must've given it away that you weren't really sure if you could trust him on that. Sighing, he extended his palm towards the fence, fingertips nearly touching it.

“Did you forget that I control electricity?” he piped, squashing down the worry that blossomed in your chest when he was about to touch the fence.

Your grin suddenly mirrored his, a wave of relief washing over you. You supposed that since using your abilities was prohibited in the entire camp complex, you had forgotten that underneath the color of your jumpsuit and behind the title the PSFs would refer to you as was a power linked to it.

Never had you seen Jeongin, or any Yellow, for that matter, use his abilities. The closest you have seen were a few blues throwing rocks at the angry PSFs when you were first hauled into the camp.

It was the first time you had seen the boy so concentrated. His brows were furrowed, and the tip of his tongue was peeking out from the corner of his mouth. His eyes flashed yellow, and for a brief moment, you thought you had imagined it.

He clenched his hand into a fist before releasing it. And just like that, you could see the bright yellow hue color the fence as the golden mass appeared to wrap around each metal cord. Then, when he added his other hand, the yellow seemed to withdraw away from where he was pointing, like the red sea parting in front of Moses.

“You're making the electricity disappear?” you asked in awe, eyes widening at the sight. It was singlehandedly one of the most amazing things you have ever seen. Jeongin smiled fondly at your genuine amazement, chuckling to himself.

“Not exactly. I can only control it, not generate it or make it disappear.”

Once he was sure that the electric current was gone, crouched down. The morning bell rang loudly, drumming in your ears as the boy whispered, “Quickly! We don't have much time left.”

His nimble fingers reached to wrap around one of the loose cords, tugging upwards. When it didn't budge, he applied more force, finally causing it to bend to his wishes. You helped him pull it up, silently cheering when you had managed to create a hole big enough for you to crawl through.

“You go first,” Jeongin pointed toward the new opening in the kilometers-long fence. You shook your head softly. “No. You should go first.”

“Y/N,” Jeongin began, a smile spreading across his face. “Just go, okay. We're both going to make it out of here, understand? There's no need to argue about this.”

“Okay.”

Laying down on the muddy ground, you pushed your backpack through the gap, following almost immediately. You did your best to shuffle through the tight space, cursing when you felt something tug at your jumpsuit.

“Shit, something got caught on my collar,” you whisper-shouted, panicking as you couldn't move forward. And if that wasn't enough, you heard loud stompings from behind you, which could only mean one thing…

“Fuck,” Jeongin cursed under his breath, reaching his hand to unhook the collar of your jumpsuit from the barbed wire. You heard him mumble a string of colorful words when the sharp metal spike grazed his palm, tearing through the skin.

“Don't move!” a loud voice hollered from across the garden, causing panic to flood your veins. “J-Jeongin,” you whimpered, tears beginning to trickle down your cheeks as you struggled to move.

“Don't worry,” his voice was calm and leveled. How he had managed to sound so collected in this situation was unknown to you, but you appreciated it nonetheless. “I'm getting you out of here.” He took a few controlled breaths before skillfully unhooking the wire from your clothes.

You cried in relief once you finally emerged on the other side, massaging your sore limbs. When you turned around to look at Jeongin, however, you froze, watching in horror as one of the PSFs grabbed his rifle and aimed it at the boy.

The screams got caught in your throat, the loud bang ricocheted before you could even warn him. The bullet pierced right through his arm, causing the limb to fall to the ground as he howled in pain.

“J-Jeongin,” you whispered, the sound barely audible as you stilled in your spot, eyes glued to the wound as crimson started to color the fabric of his jumpsuit.

“Damn it,” he cried, clutching his arm in pain as he desperately tried to stop the flow of blood. “Fuck! You have to go, Y/N. Now!”

The words are stuck in your throat as you vehemently shake your head. “N-No. I c-can't leave you here. Y-You have to come t-too.”

“Y/N,” the chuckle that left his lips was broken, a sound so heartbreaking you could feel your insides clenching. “It's obvious that I'm not making it out of here so please fucking go before they get you.”

You sucked in your lower lip, tears streaming freely down your face. “Please… for me? If you don't go, this entire mission will be useless, do you hear me?”

“B-But I—”

“Please.. Just go, I'm begging you,” his voice cracked and you noticed how heavily he was breathing.”

“Don't move!” the PSFs shouted, their voices now a lot closer. Another bullet whirred past you, missing you by a hair.

As you struggled to stand up, Jeongin gave you a somewhat reassuring smile, blinking away the tears. Your trembling hand reached down to cup his face, unknowing of what a big mistake it would be. As you gently caressed his cheek, trying to imprint every single feature of his fox-like face into your mind, something flashed in his eyes.

They were suddenly blank, and he gazed at you distantly. You could see the gears spinning in his head as he opened his mouth, heart-shaped lips uttering a question that would replay in your head for the following weeks like a broken record.

“Who are you?”

Your mouth parted in shock, realizing that history had repeated itself.

With a loud cry, you sprang up, running away from the fence as if your life depended on it (which it did). You could hear the screams, alarm blaring off as one of the PSFs finally remembered to use the White Noise.

You clutched your hands over your ears, feeling the bits of blood trickle down your forearms as you fought to move forward, wanting to put as much distance between you and the camp.

Stumbling through the forest, you finally emerged on the other end of it, your feet having carried you to the main road. Tears were streaming down your face, and you felt sick to the stomach.

What have you done?

Not only did you leave Jeongin behind, even though he was the one that was in danger, but you had also managed to erase his memories of you.

Just like with your parents.

It was exactly because of this you had decided to not make friends and grow attached to anyone—you didn't want to go through the pain of realizing that someone you considered close to you, someone you cherished, was gone.

He had no memories of you.

You had managed to obliterate your existence from his mind. Choked sobs left your mouth as you ran, leaving the past six years of your life behind. The dark forest was far behind you, as you heard the voices of the PSF officers drow out into a quiet buzz.

You were on your own now.

𝚡𝟶𝟽𝚡

Everything was quiet.

In front of you, a long strip of land extended over the horizon, nothing but fields in sight. You had been walking for at least a few hours now, and the afternoon heat was beginning to get to you as you wiped off the sweat from your forehead.

Thankfully, after a few minutes, you began to see the outline of a rundown structure. It was a gas station, you realized, and a breath of relief escaped your lips.

You burst through the door of the beat-down gas station, relief washing over you immediately as you spotted that there was still some food on the shelves. Holding your breath, you walked through the aisles, searching for the goods with a long shelf life. The ground was littered with old cardboard boxes and shattered glass bottles, so you tried your best to tippy-toe around it.

Just as your hand was reaching for a bottle of water, you heard a loud crash coming from the front of the store. Two voices were arguing, and by the sound of it, they were both men (or perhaps boys, you had no way of knowing for sure).

You began to panic, grabbing the bottle and a bag of chips from the shelf as you quietly headed for the exit. Then, as if on cue, you heard a truck pull up to the curb, two men dressed in black with rifles in their hands coming out.

“Fuck,” you whispered under your breath, cursing your fate. You had just escaped West Creek, why did you have to run into someone? You were startled from your transfixion by a quiet voice.

“Pss,” you turned around coming face to face with a guy around your age. He was crouching behind the counter, motioning for you to follow him. Under any other circumstances, you would've run away, but it seemed like you had no choice.

The handsome boy quietly led you out of the store from the back entrance, his hand wrapped around your wrist. You flinched at the contact, the memories from today's morning flooding back into your head as you tugged your arm from his grip.

“Uh, s-sorry,” he murmured sheepishly, running his hand behind his neck. It was then that you noticed he had taken you to a small minivan. “I figured you'd wanna get away from the skip tracers.”

Your brow arched at the unfamiliar word. His eyes slid down to your uniform and understanding, along with surprise, flashed across his face. “Did you just come from a camp?”

As if the words were stuck in your throat, you nodded, nervously looking behind you. Whoever these skip traces were, they sure seemed like bad news, and you didn't want to stay and find out what they'd do to you.

You looked back at the boy to find that he was still looking at you, worry written all over his face.

“You can come with us if you'd like,” he motioned to the vehicle, walking up to the front and opening the door. As soon as he did, a lanky mass of limbs stumbled out, nearly hitting the pavement.

“What took you so long, Chan? I thought you were just—”

The words stilled in his throat, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. You took the moment to take him in; he was notably around your age, but nearly not as tall as Chan and had a leaner build. His hair was a mix of honey and light brown, the unruly mop of curls splayed in front of his eyes, framing the circled spectacles perched on top of his high nose bridge.

His mouth twisted into an exasperated scowl. “I thought we said no strays!?”

Chan rolled his eyes, “We were talking about the cats, Sung. Not people…”

Your eye flickered from one boy to the other, brain going into overdrive. Sweat was beginning to line your forehead as you fiddled with the sleeve of your green uniform. It had been way too long since you had properly talked to anyone other than Jeongin.

“I'm sorry,” you lowered your gaze to the ground, not wanting to hold eye contact. “I don't want to intrude, I'll be leaving so you don't have to worry.”

The last part of your sentence was directed at the lanky boy who merely scoffed, but cowered under the glare Chan sent him. Running his hand through his greasy hair, he mumbled, “that'd probably be for the best.”

Suddenly, a loud crash reverberated through the air, causing you all to look back at the gas station.

“Shit,” Chan cursed under his breath upon seeing a man with a rifle run towards you. “We have to go. Now.”

Grabbing you by the arm, he opened the back door of the truck before shoving you in, jumping in behind you, and sliding into the driver's seat. Slamming his foot on the gas pedal, the engine roared to life and the vehicle shook before finally moving forward.

“Are those skip tracers?” Jisung screeched, craning his neck to look out the window. “No,” Chan snorted. “It's Ronald McDonald… Of course, it's the skip tracers!”

He shot Chan a half-baked glare before turning around, his fingers gripping around his seat. “Are you okay, Min?”

It was only then that you noticed the young boy, maybe a couple of years younger than you, curled under a blanket. He was wearing what you assumed used to be a Power Rangers graphic tee and a pair of faded sweats.

Peering at Jisung from under his lashes, he nodded breathlessly, bracing himself as the loud sound richoteered through the air.

The first gunshot popped like a firecracker.

It was loud and piercing, but it wasn't aimed at you. Almost like a warning. The second shot, however, pierced through the back and the bullet exited the minivan from the front window.

A groan tore from Chan's mouth as he swerved the van, turning to the right in hopes of losing whoever was behind you. One of the glass panels shattered into tiny pieces, and you had to put your hands above your head in order to protect your eyes.

“Is there a freaking skip tracer convention around here? Why are there so many of them?” Jisung wheezed, frustration enveloping him as he turned around to face you. “You know, this is kind of your fault. They never would've latched onto us if—”

“Jisung,” Chan cut him off, glowering. “It's not her fault, okay. They pulled up when both of us were in the store.”

The argument was cut off when yet another bullet pierced through the van, flying right above your head. You didn't even register the scream that left your parted lips. Chan turned around, eyes filled with concern as he bit his lower lip.

He furrowed his brows as if pondering before he parted his lips to ask, “do you know how to ride a bike?”

You peered at him, utterly confused as you slowly nodded your head. Your dad had taught you when you were about seven, a mere three years before you got taken to camp, and you supposed you still remembered something.

“Y-Yeah, why?”

His lips curled into a grin, eyes brightening as he swerved the minivan. Your hands sprung up to brace yourself from hitting your head against the window. “Well, driving a car is almost the same. And I need to you take the captain's seat.”

No. You were about to protest, half a dozen of arguments against you driving springing up in your head but it appeared that you didn't have a say in the matter. He slammed his foot on the brake, the vehicle coming to a halting stop and he undid his seatbelt.

“It's really simple—left foot is the break, right is the gas. You just need to steer with the wheel, okay?”

His strong arms wrapped around your torso, squashing any remaining objections at the tip of your tongue as he lifted you from the back of the van, lowering you into the driver's seat, too gently considering the fact that you had a bunch of armed men trailing behind you.

“Okay, I'll need you to go. Now, Green!” he urged, nearly stumbling back as your right foot hit the pedal. “Great! Now keep going.”

The adrenalin coursing through your veins matched the rapid beating of your heart as your clammy hands gripped the steering wheel. In the rearview mirror, you could see Chan opening the back doors of the van.

You were about to question what the hell he was doing, putting himself in so much danger, but Jisung beat you to it. “What the fuck are you doing, Chan? This is insane…” his voice eventually trailed off into nothingness. You had almost forgotten he was there.

“Don't worry,” he chuckled, rolling up the sleeves of his button-down. “I got it.”

You didn't know what he meant by “it” until you looked back up into the rearview mirror to see a giant tree hurling through the air, effectively blocking off the van behind you. All done with a flick of his wrist.

It then hit you; Chan was a Blue.

You have never witnessed one use their abilities to this extent, not to mention showing a sliver of control over the newfound powers. The most you had seen were the small group that tried to rebel when you were brought to camp, and that was now over six years ago.

Slamming the door shut, Chan returned to the front seat, patting you on the shoulder.

“See. I knew you'd do a great job.”

You lifted your hand from the steering wheel to smack him on the arms. An exaggerated cry left his lips as you grunted, “that was nothing like riding a bike!”

“Okay, okay. But you did a great job,” his lips formed another smile, this one even brighter than the previous one. “Perhaps you can be our permanent driver.”

“No way,” you shook your head, unable to stop the corners of your lips tugging upwards. “Why couldn't he drive,” you pointed to Jisung who was still curled up in the passenger's seat, the round spectacles nearly falling off his nose.

“Not a chance—Sung can't see more than a few feet in front of him. Trust me, you wouldn't want him driving us, darlin'.”

You nearly did a double-take at the term of endearment, heat rising to your cheeks as you concentrated on the road, praying that he didn't notice.

He leaned over the seat, his head right behind yours and you could've sworn you felt his breath fan your neck. “Alright, you have to be careful—they blew out the back tire so you're driving on the rim. You can pull up on that gas station over there—” he pointed to the right.

Jisung managed to squeeze himself through the tiny gap between the two seats, climbing over them with a grunt.

“Are you okay, Min?” he asked, voice gentle and sweet—nothing like the way he talked to you or Chan. Your eyes flickered upwards, straining your neck to see the young boy to whom Jisung was talking to.

“Oh, right,” Chan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “We haven't really introduced ourselves, have we?”

Slamming your foot on the brake pedal, the vehicle came to a stop, tucked behind a row of trees. You turned around to face the three, smoothing down the creases of your uniform as you replied, “Yeah. Well, I'm Y/N, nice to meet you.”

Chan chuckled at your attempt to curtsy while seated, running his hand through his hair before he held it out to you. “Well nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Chan, as you may have heard, and the cranky one behind me is Jisung.”

Said boy gave you a simple nod as his hands continued to run through the younger boy's tangled locks. “And this lovely guy is Seungmin, our little lightbulb.”

It took you a few seconds to comprehend what he meant. Yellow. He was a Yellow. You supposed that was the reason why there was a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves on his hands.

“How long have you guys been traveling together?” you asked, using your hand to prop yourself up from the driver's seat, trading places with Chan. A grim expression took over his face, but it quickly passed, replaced with a bashful smile.

“We just broke out of camp a few weeks ago. We're searching for Yellow Wood.”

Upon seeing the confusion on your face, he questioned, “you haven't heard of it?”

But you didn't hear him, your face had gone completely blank when he mentioned the three of them escaping camp as if it was something normal. Memories of your own escape—the one that was made possible only because of Jeongin—flooded your mind. His eyes… the empty stare he gave you once you accidentally wiped all traces of yourself from his memories… it all came rushing back.

“Y-You managed to break out? How many of you?”

Chan's brows furrowed as he seemingly pondered, “Maybe around two dozen? I'm not really sure, we just ran for our lives…”

Your mouth parted in shock and you nodded, strands of hair falling over your face as you let the information sink in. Two dozen. How was that even possible? You barely managed to get out of there in one piece, so how did they manage to escape in such a large group?

“What about you?” Jisung suddenly asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. His arms were crossed and the expression on his face was unreadable—nearly a perfect poker face. “How did you escape?”

Almost immediately, you shrank, curling yourself into a ball. You avoided his gaze and instead looked out the window, trying to blink away the tears that were gathering in the corners of your eyes. “I-I–” the words got caught in your throat as you gulped, clutching onto the sleeves of your uniform.

Chan noticed the way you seemed to want the ground to swallow you alive, grabbing your hand with his warm one and giving it a reassuring squeeze. His eyes were clouded with apprehension as if he understood why you didn't want to talk about it.

He gave Jisung a dirty look, pursing his lips and shaking his head. “Don't,” he mouthed.

His friend shrugged in response. “Is it so weird that I want to know something about her if she's going to travel with us for some time?”

Rolling his eyes, the older male opened the door, turning to you to say, “do you want to get some fresh air? I have to change the tire anyways…”

Wiping your eyes with your sleeve, you nodded, jumping out of the van and nearly stumbling to the ground. For the next five minutes, you watched Chan flick his wrist and take out the bolts before taking out the tire. When you asked if you can help, he waved you off with a smile so you opted to sit down and watch him work.

It was somewhat surreal to see him in action; it was clear that he had a lot of practice to be able to perfect his moves like this. And what was the most noteworthy was definitely the contrast between manipulating such small objects versus hauling a large tree from the forest. Unlike before, he wasn't using raw strength and power. He was relying on skill and precision, elegantly twirling his hand in the air.

“I'm sorry for Jisung,” Chan's voice cut through the silence, followed by a quiet grunt as he stood up and wiped his palms into the rough material of his jeans. “It takes him some time to warm up to strangers but he really doesn't mean any harm.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled under your breath. “I know. And it's understandable that he's so hostile towards me—he clearly cares about you guys and wants to make sure you're all safe.”

A chuckle escaped his lips as he grabbed the spare tire from the back with a groan. Your caught sight of the way his muscles bulged under the fitted shirt, heat rising to your cheeks causing you to look away.

“He has his own ways of showing he cares.”

𝚡𝟶𝟾𝚡

After successfully replacing the tire, Chan ushered you back into the van and claimed his rightful spot behind the wheel. You weren't really sure where you were headed, nor did you feel too comfortable prying about their destination, so you opted to quietly sit back and watch the fields transform into forests and the Sun bleed into the sky.

Some time passed, it could be anything between twenty minutes and two hours—you didn't really keep track—before you finally began to see some forms of life.

Chan took his hand off the wheel to crank up the radio, switching up between stations before he stopped, the first seconds of one of your favorite songs beginning to play. A smile appeared on your lips as you bobbed your head to the melody.

To your utter surprise, Chan began to sing along with so much passion you had to hold in a snort. He was purposefully exaggerating the lyrics and balling his hand into a fist to mimic a microphone causing you to giggle while Jisung could only roll his eyes.

The way he sang, despite obviously not taking himself seriously, was captivating. You realized that you really loved his voice—powerful, yet at the same time soft and tender. Towards the end of the song, the urge to join him overcame you as you began singing the outro together.

“You're here, there's nothing I fear And I know that my heart will go on…” you belted, surprisingly well for someone who never had any sort of vocal training in their life. You got so into it that you didn't realize Chan stopped singing, watching you have your little moment.

You were really pretty when you sang, he noted.

Once the last words left your parted lips, you gently closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before sighing contently. When you parted your lids to look around, you found that all three guys were looking at you, your skin crawling and the heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment.

Their reactions were encompassing a wide range of emotions—from Jisung's raised eyebrow to Seungmin's almost aloof expression. Lastly, Chan was looking at you with what could only be described as fondness which caused you to look away shyly.

His eyes were nearly glassy, overtaken with awe and joy that began to seep through his veins. A charming laugh left his lips as he refocused his gaze back on the road, his mouth curling into a mellow smile.

After a while, he spoke up with a teasing glint. “Didn't expect your throat to pack such a powerful voice?” You pouted, playfully hitting his arm as he yelped. “You pack a powerful punch too!”

After that, the four of you simply indulged in the rare, peaceful silence that was accompanied by only the occasional song from the radio that Chan deemed to fit the vibe. It was nearly nighttime when he pulled up into the parking lot of an old, run-down motel.

“Stay inside,” his tone was unyielding. “I'll go check if the place is safe.”

With that, he jumped out of the car, briskly pacing towards the back entrance to scope out the area and any possible danger. You turned around to face Jisung, worry on your face.

“Does he do this often? Just leave and walk straight into the lion's den on his own?”

“Yeah,” his face relaxed and a more impassive expression took over his features as he gazed out the window. “He's always making sure that we're safe and all, yadi yada…”

But you could tell that despite his attempts to look like he was annoyed by his actions, Jisung was secretly grateful. When he thought you weren't looking, he but down on his lower lip, body tensing. He was nervous, you could tell.

Just like you were…

It felt like an eternity when you heard Chan's footsteps crunch against the asphalt. Your head shot up, a wave of relief washing over you as you saw his familiar figure head back towards you.

When Chan noticed you watching him, he shot you a wink, causing your insides to burn as you quickly plastered your gaze onto your hands in your lap. His head suddenly appeared right in front of your face as he leaned in through the open window.

“C'mon, the coast is clear.”

You tried your hardest not to stare when you noticed just how broad his shoulders were—they wouldn't even fit through the car window for God's sake!

A loud cough interrupted your train of thought as Jisung gave you a knowing look. Spluttering, you stumbled out of the car, nearly tripping over the uneven ground in the process. “Woah, careful there,” Chan's arms wrapped around your waist to steady you, helping you stand on your own two feet. “T-Thanks.”

The three of you followed the eldest's lead as he made his way through the back gate but not without his hand reaching back to hold a few of the unruly branches from hitting you in the face.

“Hey! How come she gets preferential treatment and we don't?” Jisung whined from behind you, oblivious to the warming of your cheeks. Once you finally reached the shabby motel, Chan led you towards the room on the very left, reaching for something under the mat.

Before you could ask any questions, he pulled out a single key, inserted it in the lock, and twisted it. A satisfying click sounded in the air as the smell of mold and wet socks filled your nostrils.

“Ladies first,” he motioned for you to go with an exaggerated bow causing you to chuckle. “Why thank you.”

Once you entered, you had to block out your ears since Jisung shrieked at the sight of the bathroom that was stocked up with basic hygiene supplies.

“Finally! I can shave my mustache,” he groaned, plopping himself on one of the two twin beds. A grumble escaped your lips. “Yeah sure, like you have one.”

You thought that no one heard you but a muffled sound from behind you told a different story. “Make sure he doesn't hear you say that,” Chan cackled, throwing himself on the faded armchair across the bed.

After Jisung and Seungmin took turns showering, it must've been near midnight. Exhaustion had overtaken your body as you gazed at the bathroom door, your lids fluttering.

“Don't you wanna go?” Chan suddenly questioned, motioning towards the shower. You turned your head to face him. “Y-Yeah, I'll go but I thought you should go first…”

“It's okay, I can tell you're pretty tired,” he gave you a soft smile. “I'll wait up for you.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, feeling gratitude fill your insides as you stumbled into the bathroom. Immediately, the flickering lightbulb greeted you with a series of light bursts, causing your head to spin. You steadied yourself against the counter, hands gripping onto the granite as you fought off the initial dizziness. A long continuous crack stretched across the mirror, reaching all the way to the upper right corner.

As you gleefully shed your camp uniform, a chill ran down your spine—likely from the AC that was blasted above your head. You hastily stepped into the shower, a blissful sigh leaving your lips as you finally washed the physical remains of camp off your body.

Once you stepped out of the tub, a grim realization hit you: you would have to put these nasty clothes back on…

You were seriously contemplating sleeping in your undergarments when suddenly, a knock sounded against the plywood.

“Come in,” you mumbled after clumsily wrapping a towel around your body.

The door creaked open as a blushing Chan stuck his head through the doorway. His ears were completely red as his eyes jumped across the room, trying not to stare.

“Uhm so I realized that you, uh, that you didn't have any clothes to change into,” he murmured, voice rising an octave higher towards the end. You nodded in encouragement for him to continue. “So I, uh well… I thought you'd maybe– I have a spare shirt!”

After an awkward pause, he added, “I know it isn't much and you obviously don't have to if you're uncomfortable, but I figured you'd be more comfortable sleeping in something clean rather than your camp uniform.”

The heat rose to your cheeks as you stared at his hand in which he nervously clutched the piece of fabric. It truly was a sweet gesture but for some reason, you were completely tongue-tied.

After another beat of silence, Jisung grumbled, “Y/N, just take the damn shirt and put him out of his misery.”

“Shut up, Sung,” the blush had reached his neck now, intensifying when he heard you giggle.

“You got a way with the ladies, man. You gotta teach me your moves someday, pal.”

By now, you were convulsing with laughter. Despite the sarcasm dripping from his tone, this was the happiest Jisung had seemed all day. Even Seungmin seemed to crack a smile.

After the laughter had died down, your face filled with concern as you reached toward Chan's extended hand. “A-Are you sure I can take it? Won't you need it to sleep?”

“Ah, it's okay,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I sleep shirtless anyway.”

Now it was your turn to become flustered. Pushing away thoughts of a shirtless Chan, you gripped at the shirt, mumbling your thanks. And before you could chicken out, you leaned in and pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

It was too late for you to do anything about it but you already regretted your actions when the door shut. A sigh escaped your lips as you wondered on a scale of one to ten, how much did you fuck up.

“You're such a damn idiot,” you whispered to yourself, pulling on your underwear and slipping into the garment. Immediately, you were enveloped by warmth as the soft cotton material reached the top of your thighs, grazing against the sensitive flesh.

When you emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped around your hair, Chan's brain was going into overdrive as he fought the urge to look at you for longer than was appropriate. Running past you with burning cheeks, he locked himself in the bathroom where he finally allowed a breath of relief to escape his lips.

It had been a while since he felt like this.

Jumping into the shower, he turned the faucet all the way, hoping that the icy water would rid him of his crude thoughts. But who could blame him? He was still, at his core, a teenager, and just like any other, the hormones were currently rampant inside of him. And no amount of camp and survival would change that.

When he finally stepped out of the shower, he grabbed the last towel from the top shelf and used it to pat himself dry. After sliding on his boxers, he brushed his teeth, grimacing at the sting of the old, peppermint toothpaste.

Glancing back at the mirror, he took a proper look at himself for the first time in a couple of months. The sight that greeted him wasn't all that pretty. Between the cracks in the glass and the condensation from the water, he could make out the general shape of his face littered with all kinds of scratches and bruises—some of them from camp while others from fighting PSFs or running away from them. The long cut under his jaw was from a sharp tree branch that catapulted at his face while they were running through the woods. There was another wound that called for his attention, specifically, the gash that ran against his lower abdomen. Gently touching the smooth creamy skin, a wince tore past his lips, the recollections of the skip tracer attack still fresh in his memory.

Throwing the towel over his shoulders, he walked out of the bathroom, sighing as the less damp air of the bedroom hit him. A fond smile crossed his face when he noticed Jisung and Seungmin curled up in one of the beds. They looked so calm and peaceful, he was happy they'd finally get some well-deserved rest.

His brows furrowed—where were you?

Scanning the room, he found that the second bed was empty so his eyes gazed across it. Just as he was about to panic (who knows, Jisung could've annoyed you into leaving), he noticed a limb peeking from around the corner. He quietly stalked up to the bed, worry washing over him as he noticed you curled up with your back against the bed frame.

You fell asleep on the floor.

Lowering himself to your level, he gently wiped away the bit of drool from the corner of your mouth, chuckling at the display. His hands slid under your body as he hoisted you up, laying you on the bed before pulling the cover over your body.

He smiled as you immediately curled yourself into the sheets. You looked like you were in need of a proper rest too. Just as he was about to lower himself onto the ground, he felt a tug at his hand.

“Y/N?” he questioned, unsure of what to do. “Where are you going?” you murmured, your lids fluttering. He wasn't even sure if you were properly awake.

Crouching down beside the bed, his hand reached to push the hair away from your forehead, “it's okay, you can go back to sleep.”

“But what about you? Where will you sleep?”

He chuckled, “don't worry about me, I'm used to sleeping on the floor.”

Your lashes fluttered open, “s-stay. You can sleep with me.”

Even in the darkness, you didn't miss how Chan's face went beet red. It was the waking up that you needed to realize what you had said. Once you did, a wave of embarrassment washed over you, causing you to stutter, “I-I didn't mean it like t-that! I wanted to say that, uh, that…” the words got caught in your throat, much to Chan's newfound delight.

“What is it, darlin'? How did you mean it then?”

“Well,” you slowly sat up, suddenly feeling a bit bold as you patted the space next to you. “There's enough room for the both of us is what I'm trying to say.”

Chan felt like his heart was about to leap out of his chest at your confession, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks. After making sure that you really didn't mind, he carefully lowered himself onto the mattress, a blissful sigh escaping his lips as his back made contact with the mattress.

“Don't think I've slept on one of those in years,” he groaned, sliding under the covers. It was only when you felt his skin against yours that you realized what he mentioned earlier. He slept only in his undergarments. You two were sharing a bed.

Well… fuck.

But it was too late to do anything now, besides, you'd gladly keep yourself in check if it meant that Chan would get to sleep on a bed instead of the cold hard floor. Not to mention that the presence of someone next to you was somewhat calming, and perhaps it would help soothe your nerves and stop any impending nightmares.

Yeah… you wouldn't mind being spared those.

It didn't take long for your body to start feeling heavy. In your half-asleep state, you managed to grab onto Chan's hand, entwining your fingers with his as the clutches of a deep slumber finally grabbed ahold of you.

And although Chan's heart was beating like crazy, it didn't take him much longer to doze off after you.

𝚡𝟶𝟿𝚡

The following morning, Chan woke up to an empty bed. He panicked, patting down the space next to him to realize, in horror, that you truly were gone. Jumping out of bed and throwing on a pair of pants and a jacket, he rushed through the front door throwing caution out the window as he called your name.

“Hey, Y/N,” he sighed after finally spotting you. You were sitting on the steps, just a few yards away from the edge of the parking lot that blended in with the forest. When you turned your head, your lips formed a gentle smile as you waved him over.

“What are you doing out here?” Chan paned after having run, plopping next to you onto the concrete. “Aren't you cold?”

You chuckled when he skeptically eyed you after you shook your head, clearly not buying it. “Here,” he shrugged off his leather jacket, throwing it over your shoulders. “You're shivering.”

Too tired to argue with him, you accepted it with a quiet 'thanks'. The two of you sat next to each other in silence, occasionally bumping shoulders before Chan finally spoke up.

“Did you sleep alright? You, uhm, you tossed around a lot…”

Fiddling with your thumbs, you murmured, “yeah. I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall asleep for a bit. But I'm fine, thanks for asking.”

“O-Okay.” A beat of silence followed. “You didn't have any nightmares, though, did you?”

“Surprisingly, I didn't. Must've been the first time in weeks.”

Chan's heart filled with concern as he watched you slouch down, pressing your nails into the palm of your hand. The somber timbre of your tone wasn't missed on him and he recalled how despondent you seemed when Jisung tried to hammer out of you some details from West Creek.

“I-Is it… is it because of camp?” he gulped, nearly wanting to face-plant himself for asking such a stupid question. “You don't have to say anything if you don't feel like it,” he quickly added, biting his lower lip in desperation before continuing, “but if you need someone to vent to… a shoulder to cry on– what I'm trying to say is that I'll gladly listen. T-That's only if you'd like, of course.”

Gulping down, his eyes were trained on you as he tried to gouge your reaction after having failed miserably at being tactful. You, on the other hand, appreciative of the gesture, simply chuckled.

“Honestly, I'm not sure if I have much to share. West Creek was Hell on Earth, but after living there for what– over six years, I got used to it.” Taking a deep breath, you continued, “There was one person who made it bearable for me… my friend Jeongin. It didn't matter what would happen, Jeongin always had my back.”

By the time you got to talking about your friend, a single tear rolled down your cheek. Chan noticed it, heart shattering at the sight. “Sounds like a great guy,” he murmured, thumbing away the wetness from the apple of your cheek.

“Y-Yeah. He always took care of those around him and stood up for the weakest. Until one day, he found out that they'd be sending away all Yellows—that's when he came to tell me we had to leave.”

A wave of melancholy washed over Chan, the grief in the air now thick enough that he could cut it with a knife. “And I assume you were the only one who made it out… right?”

Unconsciously, your hand clutched onto his as a fresh wave of tears pricked at the corner of your eyes. “Y-Yeah. He pushed me through the gate. He saved my life, Chan, even if it was him that was in danger.”

By now, you were nearly sobbing and Chan's arms had encircled your body, pulling you onto his lap. “There there,” he whispered, his voice managing to soothe you. “It's not your fault, you know? You're safe now so don't worry. I'll protect you… I'll protect all of you.”

Clutching onto his shirt, you whimpered, “I'm so sorry, Chan. I know under how much stress you already must be with wanting to keep Jisung and Seungmin safe. I-I'm just dead weight to you… I-I promise I'll detach myself from you guys soon—”

“Nu-uh,” Chan interrupted, stopping your breathless rambling with a finger pressed to your lips. “There's no way I'm letting you just go, darlin'—we're stronger in numbers, remember?”

When you meekly nodded, he sighed, “we're all headed to Yellow Wood and we plan on taking you there too.”

Upon seeing the visible confusion etched onto your face, he continued, “it's a safe haven for us PSIs lead by the Slip Kid. He's been escaping authorities for over a year now and Yellow Wood is his latest project—a camp led by and for us. Colors don't matter there, all of us just do our share and we get back everything we need—food, shelter, a sense of community.”

Noticing the way you stared at him wide-eyed, he blushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “A-At least that's what the rumors say. It's supposedly a safe haven. Not to mention that if you want to find out about your friend, Jeongin, right?” his lips stretched into a wide smile, “Yellow Wood is the place to go to. Apparently, they can trace anyone.”

For the first time in ages, you felt something new bubbling up inside of your chest. Hope. “Do you really think so? T-That he'll be able to find Jeongin?”

Chan nodded. “Yeah. I'm sure of it.”

The conviction in his voice, paired with the sparkle in his eyes made you feel like he actually believed it. And this conviction of his had managed to transfer onto you as you hugged him one more time, burring your head into the crook of his neck.

“Thank you, Chan.”

Your peaceful moment of tranquility was suddenly interrupted by a loud cough. Both you and Chan nearly jumped up in surprise and you were greeted by two figures standing behind you.

“Sorry to interrupt your, uh, private times,” Jisung snorted, hands shoved in his pocket as he circled around you two before plopping down on the concrete, “but Seungmin wanted to give something to Y/N.”

Looking up from Chan, your eyes grew wide. “For me?”

Climbing up from your position seated on his lap, you tried not to think about how close and intimate that position was. Your cheeks were burning as you inhaled, instantaneously finding yourself missing the scent of his cologne.

Seungmin took a few steps towards you, his hands secured behind his back as he gave you a bright smile, one that showed off his white pearls. Your heart melted at the sight.

Then, he brought his hands forward, holding a clump of bright red fabric in front of you as you carefully examined it. Gently taking the item from him, you let the light drop, eyes widening at the display.

It was a beautiful red dress, one that seemed to flair at the waist, and you nearly felt tears pricking your eyes once again. It was weirdly cathartic to see such a nice piece of clothing after having been stuck in a nasty camp uniform for over half a decade.

Almost like a confirmation that things were truly looking up for you.

“Min found the dress a while ago when we were grabbing supplies from a local mall and held onto it,” Jisung explained, cutting off your inner swirling of emotions. “He thought that you'd maybe appreciate wearing something other than your clothes from camp.”

Your mouth tried to form a coherent response, but nothing came out, the words getting caught at the back of your throat. So instead, you gave him the brightest smile you could summon, barely managing to squeeze out a heartfelt “thank you”.

To your utter surprise, Seungmin parted his arms and enveloped you in a bone-shattering hug that made you feel all fuzzy on the inside.

It was an out-of-world experience for Chan to watch the cordial interaction between you two. Even Jisung cracked a smile at the thought.

When you and the youngest finally parted, Jisung was surprisingly the one to speak up.

“I don't want to be a buzzkill or anything, but we should probably be going. We aren't sure who's around and it might be dangerous to stay any longer.”

Chuckling, Chan gave him a hard pat on the back as he slowly got up, the muscles in his arms flexing. “Not usual for you to be the voice of reason, Sung.”

The younger one flushed, irritation washing over his face. “Shut up! I'm supposed to be the smart one here, remember.”

“Yeah sure, whatever,” Chan replied nonchalantly, which in turn only angered Jisung more.

“You think you're all that just because you're taller and have some muscles, don't you?”

By now, Chan was full-on laughing at the exchange, inhaling to catch his breath. “Seriously? Do you wanna have this conversation now when I can deadlift twice your weight in a heartbeat?”

That didn't seem to stop Jisung as he muttered under his breath, “muscle pig.”

Another chorus of laughter ensued as the four of you made your way back to the minivan where you changed into the dress. It was around 10 in the morning, the sky was clear with no clouds in sight, which meant that it was the perfect time to start your journey.

“The dress– uh, you look really pretty in it,” Chan suddenly commented, the tips of his ears turning red. You giggled in delight, twirling around so you could watch the skirt spin.

“Thank you. Haven't worn one since I was ten.”

“It seems really formal though. I feel like I should ask you to prom or something…”

“Yeah,” Jisung snorted, “like she'd ever go with you.”

You rolled your eyes at the playful banter, feeling warmth seep into your veins. The more time you spent with the three, the more you wanted to stay.

And that was dangerous.

You shouldn't get attached.

Suddenly, a loud thud resonated through the air, causing you to flinch. A black pickup truck parked a few yards away from you and a middle-aged couple walked out. Chan immediately assumed a protective stance, stepping in front of the three of you, as if wanting to shield you with his own body.

The couple scanned the area, their gazes promptly falling onto your little group. Perhaps it was the way he was glaring at them with pure venom in his eyes, or maybe they just happened to be decent people who didn't grab and turn in every kid they saw for the large cash prize, but they only gave you guys a one over before walking away, no sings of pursuing the reward money.

“We should go,” Chan murmured, ushering you into the minivan as he jumped into the driver's seat, the engine roaring to life.

𝚡𝟷𝟶𝚡

The following two hours were spent in silence as Chan turned off the radio ten minutes into the drive. You could tell that something was bothering him.

“Are you okay?” you bit your lower lip, hand reaching to his shoulders. His body tensed at the touch before eventually relaxing into your hold, a sigh escaping his lips.

“Y-Yeah, just a bit tired.”

A sudden burst of energy enveloped you, like a mist, it swirled around you until it took a shape. Your heart was beating when you realized what it was—a picture. Or more like a vision; it was still slightly blurry but you could make out the general shape of it.

Once the fog set, it finally hit you—the reason the setting seemed so familiar. It was a camp, a different one from West Creek but a camp nonetheless. There were people, kids, running around. No. Running away—they were all running in one direction—towards the fence.

“Everyone, run!” a boy shouted, raising his arms to lift the kids over the fence. It was Chan, you realized. A loud round of gunshots blasted through the air as you watched someone run out from one of the cabins, holding a small child in their hand.

Jisung, it struck you. He was saving Seungmin.

Another loud bang sounded, this time, a lot closer than before. Everything was in slow motion, Chan's head snapping as his jaw went slack, a scream tearing from his throat. And then it all disappeared.

“Is everything okay?” Chan questioned concernedly, his gaze flickering back and forth from the road to you. It seemed like time ran a lot faster when you got into this state when you could see other people's memories, but it didn't stop you from flinching.

“Yeah,” you murmured, hastily retracting your hand. “I'm fine.”

Lies. You weren't fine. And Chan knew it, his lips pressing into a thin line but he didn't push you, instead choosing to focus on the road. Unknown to you, Jisung was staring intently at the exchange, his eyes flashing with understanding.

So that's how it was…

You were staring out the window as you contemplated the scene that had just unfolded in front of your eyes.

You were sure it had something to do with your powers as an Orange—nonetheless, you still didn't have those under control so it was hard to navigate what had exactly happened. It seemed like it was a memory of Chan's, something that was weighing down on him for some time now. You wondered if the person shot was a close friend of his, if so, that would explain why he was holding on to this painful memory.

The four of you continued to ride in silence, Seungmin letting out an occasional snore as the landscape began to drastically change in front of your eyes. Gone were the lengthy fields and crops, slowly replaced by more industrial terrain.

Instead of watching wheat and flowers, you were greeted with crumbling factories, old barns, and the outskirts of a more rural town began to paint the view from behind the glass window. You couldn't quite decide if that was a good thing or not.

When a run-down gas station slowly appeared in your peripheral vision, Chan hit the breaks, swerving the car into the right lane.

“We should go there and see if we can siphon some gas. We're running pretty low.”

𝚡𝟷𝟷𝚡

Nearly a week had passed since you joined Chan, Jisung, and Seungmin on their quest to find the so-called haven—Yellow Wood. Your journey so far had been stripped of any grave dangers, save for the time you ran into a skip tracer while parked on the side of the highway. Luckily, Chan had managed to fling his device away into the woods before he could log into the skip tracer network and post his sightings.

And without what he likely considered his strongest weapon—his way to communicate with other tracers—he chose to slowly walk away, fear evident in his eyes.

Chan was now pulling over at a local mall that was just off the main road, the engine grunting as he parallel parked behind a cluster of trees, hoping that the leaves would at least provide a little bit of protection.

“Are we ready?” he questioned, turning around to face Jisung and Seungmin sprawled in the back with a grin. “Yeah, let's hope we don't run into any skip tracers.”

The four of you walked towards the main entrance, or rather—what used to be the main entrance. The neon sign above the glass doors was crooked, clearly not having been used in ages, and the gate itself was no longer functioning, the glass having been broken in with a sharp object.

The smell of rotten milk and processed food hits you in the face full force as you step through the entry, mindful of the sharded glass on the floor.

“Ugh,” Jisung groaned pinching his nose, the noise coming out more nasally than usual. “This fucking reeks.”

“Language,” Chan reprimanded, furrowing his eyebrows. “We don't want Seungmin to have your potty mouth.”

Jisung shot him a pointed glare but Chan was already a few feet ahead, walking towards the food section. Picking up a bag of candy from the lowest shelf, he grinned. “Grab whatever you deem edible. We should stock up on goods while we can.”

That's when your little group split up, each of you going in a different direction as you grabbed whatever you could get your hands on.

You were in one of the last aisles, standing on your tippy-toes as your hand extended towards the uppermost shelf. A groan slipped past your lips as your fingers managed to only push away the small box of Pocky instead of grabbing it.

“Need any help?” a breathy voice suddenly whispered into your ear, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. “C-Chan, God… you scared me!”

He chuckled in reply, his eyes flicking upwards to scan the shelf. “You want the Pocky?”

When you nodded, he pressed himself closer to you, his chest going flush against your back as his arm stretched towards the paper box. “Here you go,” he handed it to you, not noticing the way the heat rose to your cheeks. “Thanks!”

“No problem. My arms are really long so I'm glad I could help,” he supplied with a grin, grabbing a tube of Oreos for himself. “Let's go catch up with the other two.”

The four of you gather by the soft drinks aisle, Jisung grabbing a few bottles of Mountain Dew for himself. When Chan asked him what he'd need this much energy for, Jisung shot him a glare, muttering a few curses under his breath.

“Is there anything else we need?” you poked Chan in the side, struggling to hold the heaps of food in your arms. “We should probably look around the mall to see if they have any other useful items,” his hand shot out to catch the KitKat that was about to fall from the top of your little food pile. “It would be nice to find some clean clothes, maybe even a blanket or so.”

A small nudge to your back made you turn around, only to find out that Seungmin had brought back a shopping cart from the other side of the store. “Thank you, Min,” your hand reached out to ruffle his hair, dropping all your items inside. “My arms were beginning to hurt.”

Jisung placed his energy drinks in the cart with a breath of relief, pushing it towards the exit of the grocery store. You made your way through most of the shopping mall, looking for a store that seemed at least somewhat intact but to no avail. It wasn't until you reached an old hypermarket all the way in the back did you find what you needed.

“Finally!” Jisung groaned, leaving the shopping cart stranded in the middle of the entrance as he ran towards the section relatively filled with clothing and home decor. “I can get some fresh underwear!”

While he headed off to the undergarments section with Seungmin nervously trailing behind him, you and Chan made your way towards the blankets and sheets.

“Oh my God!” you screeched once you rounded the corner, placing your hand in front of your mouth in shock. “Is everything okay?” Chan ran up to you, placing his hands around your waist from behind. “Oh.”

A sea of beds were arranged in front of you, a massive clearance of the store being dedicated towards bedroom furniture. “This is amazing,” you whispered, eyes flying from one side to the other, unsure of where to go.

When Chan turned to you with a grin, you knew something was up. His lips were curved into a mischievous smile, one that signaled that he was about to do something big, eyes twinkling. “C'mon,” he grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the sea of beds. “How long has it been since you jumped on a trampoline?”

Hand in hand, both of you ran at full speed before jumping in the air, landing on the first bed. A chorus of laughter echoed through the empty store as you leaped from one bed to another, giggling like little kids. A burst of energy flew through you when you saw the massive King's bed, the gap between it and the one you were on currently a lot larger than the distances you've jumped over so far.

Placing your other hand on Chan's bicep, you motioned towards the prized piece of furniture, lips curved into a playful smile. His eyes widened in bewilderment as he shook his head, “that's way too far. We'll end up smothered on the ground.”

Despite him usually being the voice of reason, something inside of you didn't want to comply. Instead, you clutched onto his palm tightly as you made a run for it, leaping over the rift between the two beds.

“What the hell?” the curse flipped past Chan's lips but it was already too late. He landed on the bed on his back with a thud, your own body toppling over his as his hands reached to steady you at your waist.

“Shit! Are you okay?” you breathed out, using your hands to push yourself off of him in hopes of not smothering him. Chan bit his lip, something dark flashing in his eyes as pulled you back onto him.

“I don't know, are you okay?”

Your heart was beating so fast you were afraid it would leap out of your chest, heat rising to your cheeks as you felt Chan's toned body right under you. Your hands were curled into his t-shirt and your eyes flew from one place to another, not wanting to look into his eyes.

His hand suddenly cupped your cheek as he steered you so that you were looking him in the eye. “Is everything alright?”

You whimpered, “y-yeah, I'm fine.”

Chan smiled so brightly that you for a second thought he was the Sun, somehow managing to reassure you without having to utter a single word. His touch was as delicate as silk, and you could feel his breath fanning against your lips. You shivered at the foreign sensation, leaning into his soft caresses as his hand slid from your cheek to your waist.

“C-Can I… can I kiss you?”

Breathlessly, you nodded, closing your eyes as you felt him press his lips against yours. Almost as if fireworks had exploded in you, you felt your insides burst with love, excitement, and affection, feelings you knew were dangerous.

Your hands curled into Chan's hair, gently tugging at the locks causing him to groan. Your lips danced together as you found a steady rhythm, a shiver running down your spine when he alternated the way his lips moved, applying more pressure.

You felt like you were on cloud nine, all your thoughts turning into mush as Chan continued to kiss you with so much fervor it made you dizzy. His hand was now cupping your waist, pulling you closer to him as his lips devoured yours.

Suddenly, a loud thump echoing through the store made you two part, breaking off the heated kiss. You exchanged worried glances as you somewhat awkwardly slumped down from the bed, slowly sneaking back towards the source of the loud noise. Chan protectively extended his arm to the back to cover you, sweat beginning to line his forehead.

Why was everything suddenly so quiet?

The silence was nerve-wracking, giving you the feeling that there was someone out there. And to confirm your darkest fears, a loud set of footsteps sounded. This time, much closer to you than before.

Suddenly, you felt a strange force tug you up, your limbs flailing like a ragdoll. You let out a choked scream feeling the air getting knocked out of your lungs. Then, you felt warmth envelop you, covering you like a blanket.

You opened your eyes to see your hands digging into Chan's back as his strong arms encased you, circling around your shoulders. A second passed. Two seconds. You were hanging in the air with Chan's arms wrapped around you, bewildered and afraid.

What was going on?

“C-Chan,” you whimpered, the sound raspy and coming from the back of your throat. “What's happening?”

“Shhh,” he pressed your head into the crook of his neck, scanning the area with a knowing glance. Then, almost wistfully, he whispered, “close your eyes.”

Just as your fluttering eyelids closed, you felt the force tug you upwards. Another breathless scream left your parted lips as you clung to Chan, feeling as if life was draining from your very being. Up, down, left, and right. These people had absolutely no qualms throwing you and Chan in every direction, the latter having to brace himself every time you two were flung into one of the metal shelves lined with bottles and cans.

“Fuck,” Chan whispered when a broken glass bottle slashed his arm, dousing the back of his shirt with whatever cheap beer was inside. “Don't you think that's enough, you assholes?!”

A chorus of boisterous laughter resonated through the store, causing anger to bubble up in his veins. The muscles in his back tensed as he balled his hands into fists, growling, “we're PSIs too, fuck's sake, so why don't you put us down and we can have a nice and civil discussion about this.”

As a response, you were thrown even higher in the air, the attacker spinning you a few times like a pinwheel. The insides of your stomach were churning as you coughed out, feeling as if you were going to pass out.

“What the fuck do you want from us, cowards? Let's settle this one-on-one, I'll fight you and we can see if you'll be so confident then you fucking bastards!” Chan bellowed, his grip on your shoulders tightening involuntarily.

Straining your ears, you picked up on the hushed whispers of a group of people—four, maybe five tops. Then, the somewhat deeper voice mumbled something, and the rest, albeit some begrudgingly, agreed with what he said, a breath of relief slipping from your mouth when you finally found yourself standing on the ground.

But you couldn't say that you were standing on your own two feet. Immediately as the soles of shoes made contact with the vinyl flooring, you felt yourself tumble, knees buckling under your weight.

“Shh, you're okay,” Chan instantly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, affectionately patting the back of your head. “ 'M so dizzy,” you mumbled, feeling your consciousness slowly slip away. You felt as if someone had thrown you into the deep end and you were barely trying to get above the surface and keep yourself afloat.

But you were failing.

And Chan realized that too as he scanned his surroundings, making note of the fact that Seungmin and Jisung were hiding in one of the nearby aisles, the latter signaling that they were alert.

A shadow glimpsed in front of him, and Chan now knew their positions. If worse came to worse, he could probably handle a couple of them now that he knew their location, or at least hold them off for Seungmin to reach a source of electricity.

That kid could be really scary when he wanted to…

“Are you gonna show yourselves?”

Almost reluctantly, the first one stepped forward, and to Chan's surprise, he found out that he knew him. His brow immediately shot up at the sight, confusion etched onto his face.

“Jeno?” he rasped, blinking to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. The boy smiled, eyes turning into crescent moons as he scanned his former roommate of approximately two months. “Chris? Is that really you?”

Chan nodded, mouth agape as everything slowly began to settle in his head. This guy—Jeno—was his bunkmate back when they first came to camp. They didn't stay together for too long though since a new surge of children flooded their tine camp and the PSFs had to rebuild all the cabins.

But his shock didn't last long, instead, rage filled him at the thought of someone he used to consider a friend turning into such a monster. He watched as one after the other, four more guys came out from behind him, dressed from head to toe in military gear and armed with various weapons.

Suddenly, one of them stepped forward, twirling a small dagger in his right hand. Even from a distance, Chan could see how sharp it was, the cheap, flickering supermarket light reflecting against the sharpened blade. Gently laying you against one of the shelves, he stepped forward, shielding you with his body.

“Not a step closer, do you understand?” he threatened, voice low and dripping with venom. The guy chuckled, tossing his blade in the air before catching it, his gaze never wavering.

“Why do you think you get to call the shots here? Last time I checked, we're at a clear advantage here since it's just you and the passed-out girl.” His lips curled into a sinister smirk. “Not that she'd be of much use anyway. Although I must say she's a real babe, I wonder how good her mouth is…”

A chorus of laughter followed as the group laughed at their leader's crude joke. Chan, on the other hand, didn't find it really amusing. Blood was boiling inside his veins, his hands balled into fists as he struggled to keep himself under control.

‘Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts,’ he kept repeating to himself like a mantra, hoping that if he said it enough times, the anger would disappear like a puff of smoke on a chilly day.

“Hey, hey,” Jeno's mellow voice suddenly cut through the air, “it's okay—I can vouch for him, cap'! He's cool. Not to mention he's strong as hell too—he was the one who broke us out of our camp.”

Upon hearing those words, the boy stilled, visibly pondering as he weighed out his options. It seemed like Jeno's reassurance had eased him though, his battle stance relaxing. Slipping the dagger back into his belt, he glanced back at Chan, his lips forming a crooked smile.

“It seems like one of my guys trusts you, so I'll let you go. You can grab whatever you need and stay one night but that's all that we'll allow.”

Chan almost wanted to remind him that they weren't the ones to arrive here first, therefore they had no reason to dictate who could and couldn't stay but he bit his tongue. There was no point arguing with them and realistically speaking, he doubted any of you wanted to stay here for longer than one night.

“Sure. We'll be gone first thing in the morning.”

𝚡𝟷𝟸𝚡

“Are you sure you don't want us to help?” Jisung asked once again as he trailed after Chan, Seungmin shuffling behind him. “You can put her down and go look for the meds while we watch her, you know?”

“No way,” Chan cut him off, his facial expression hardened into a mask of apathy. “I'm not leaving her anywhere.” His voice then took a somber tone, “you didn't hear what they said about her, did you?”

Jisung's gaze softened, “a-actually… I did. It was pretty awful, I know you want to protect her and make sure she's okay, but—”

“But what?” Chan cut him off, his pace quickening as he turned into the houseware aisle. “Why is there always a but with you, Jisung?”

The boy's eyes widened at his friend's harsh tone, the words cutting deeper than intended. Jisung felt as if a knife had just been plunged into his stomach, tears beginning to prick at the corners of his eyes. Was he really that annoying?

Seungmin, having noticed the change in mood, watched as Jisung's steps slowed down before grabbing his hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

“I just… you're always taking care of us and I-I don't want you to get hurt…”

Suddenly, everything went quiet, Chan's footsteps slowly diminishing into nothingness as he processed Jisung's words. It was hard for him to focus, to fully grasp what his friend had just said—his brain having turned into mush long ago.

Chan was a born leader… or at least that's what everyone had been telling him since birth. He was praised for his strong yet soft voice that could command nearly anyone to do virtually anything. He had good morals—his mother had ensured that by raising him right—and that in turn made people willingly place their trust in him.

Wherever he went, people followed, unknowingly putting the burden of authority guidance on his shoulders. He always carried the weight of other people's problems, and while he enjoyed the feeling of satisfaction that protecting and caring for his loved ones provided, sometimes, it became a little too much for him to handle.

Somewhere along the line, he began to lose sight of who he was. All of his energy was always directed towards others, making sure that they were okay. Yet rarely had anyone asked him if he was fine.

Tightening his grip on your limp body, he took a step forward. Warmth filled him upon hearing Jisung's words—gratitude swirling inside of him, seeping into every crevice of his body.

“Jisung?” he breathlessly whispered right before he rounded the corner. “Thank you for caring. It means a lot.” He wondered if he even heard him.

Grabbing the pack of meds from the shelf, he made his way back to the clearance in the middle of the store where the four of you had made your little base. Gently laying you on the bed, he dusted his palm against his pants before opening the box with shaky hands.

‘There's nothing to be worried about,’ he whispered to himself, hoping that those bleak words of reassurance would make a difference if he made himself believe in them. You just got dizzy from being thrown around in the air—it was perfectly normal for people who weren't used to the sensation of telekinetics to feel woozy for a bit.

Hell, Chan remembered how one kid even threw up after being exposed to a sudden burst of the power.

Pulling the small bottle from the paper container, he sat at the edge of the bed with a plastic spoon he retrieved from the party section. He poured some of the milky-white liquid onto it before carefully cupping your cheek with his other hand, angling your head to let the syrup spill into your mouth.

“You'll be okay,” Chan murmured, brushing the hairs from your forehead. “Stay strong, darlin'.”

As your stomach rose and fell with each breath you took, dark thoughts began to fill his mind. The memories from the night of the escape trickled back into his head, flooding his thoughts with the gruesome scenes filled with blood, gore, and gunshot.

Running a hand through his hair, he groaned, shaking off the unpleasant memories. He’d have to move on.

“Oh… hey, Seungmin,” he waved, cracking a smile when he saw his younger friend. Though his expression fell when he noticed the boy’s glare.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, but he already knew the answer. “It’s about Jisung, isn’t it?”

Seungmin nodded, angrily pointing to where he came from. He then motioned to himself and to you, his hand reaching to grab yours.

“You want me to go talk to Jisung as you watch over Y/N?”

Another nod. Chan sighed, remorse painting his face. “You’re right. I’ll go talk to him and apologize. Will you make sure she has everything she needs, Min?”

Seungmin smiled brightly, revealing his tiny pearls, and it was enough of a confirmation for Chan. He knew you were in good hands now. Standing up, he ruffled Seungmin's hair before heading out to look for Jisung.

It didn't take him long to find him; he was curled up against the wall next to the canned goods, head in between his knees. Chan felt horrible. It pained him to see his friend in such a state, not to mention that he was the one to cause the predicament with his insensitive words.

Crouching down beside him, he whispered, “hey, Jisung.”

Jisung didn't answer at first, sniffling before he lifted his head, looking at Chan with puffy eyes. “Y-Yeah? Do you need anything?”

It was official; Chan felt like an absolute asshole.

His expression softened as his eyes scanned Jisung's face, counting the tears staining his cheeks. Chan had half a mind to wipe them off with his thumb but managed to restrain himself. He came here to clean up the mess he made.

“I'm sorry, Jisung,” his hand dropped to his friend's shoulder, rubbing gentle circles into his shirt. “I was way out of line and I took my anger out on you—which I know wasn't cool.”

Blowing his nose into a napkin, he mumbled, “it's okay. I know you're just trying to keep her safe. I can tell how much you care about her.”

Chan's eyes widened, “her? Jisung, I care about all of you, you know… it's not just her.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jisung replied, looking away. He crumpled the napkin, shoving it into his pocket, “it just feels like you don't care about us as much anymore.”

It took Chan a few seconds to bounce back from that. His heart began to beat against his ribcage so fast that he was afraid it would jump out of his chest. Is this how Jisung had truly felt the entire time? Was this the reason he had been so cold to you in the first place.

His hand dropped down to the floor as he looked him in the eye, a serious expression painting his face. “I hope you're not thinking that I'm replacing you guys with her. We're still in this together, no matter what.”

Judging by the way Jisung grimaced, Chan knew he hit the nail in the coffin. He felt the knife in his chest plunge deeper, tearing at his insides. “We're still the dream team, remember?” his voice cracked, the first layers of the strong facade he had built around himself beginning to crumble. “We're still gonna find Yellow Wood, right?”

“Of course we are,” Jisung exclaimed, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “You know I'd never willingly leave you guys. It's just that…”

Chan quirked his brow, egging Jisung to continue. “It's just that I'm afraid you'll grow tired of me. You're so… you're so powerful and I'm just… I'm just me…”

He breathes out, casting his gaze down as he stares at his shoes. “There's nothing special about me.”

Choking on his spit, Chan's eyes grew wide as Jisung's words finally sunk in. They weighed heavy on his chest, filling it with an unexplainable black void. His hand reached out, fingers flexing before he retreated it back, letting it drop by his side.

His tone was raspy when he spoke. “I thought you, out of all people, would know that I don't care what color you are. It doesn't matter one bit. I just… we talked about her time at camp and she told me she had a really hard time.”

Chan sighed in exasperation, frustration evident in his tone as he continued, “West Creek is nothing like the small regional camps. That place is hell, Ji. It's hell on Earth and when they were escaping, her friend didn't make it out. So yeah… I may have been by her side a lot but it's only because I want her to feel like she isn't alone. Not to mention that Y/N is Green too so your point no longer stands.”

Jisung's lips curved into a bitter smile as he chuckled, the sound so hoarse and raw. “At least I can always count on being the smart one. You may have the brawn but it seems like you were spared the brains.”

Raising his brow, Chan almost wanted to take offense at the statement but he brushed it off, way too curious now to interrupt Jisung's train of thought. And perhaps Jisung was right—he was, after all, the one to always come up with all their strategies. Which is why it frustrated him on no end that he had no idea what he was talking about.

“You really haven't noticed, have you?” Jisung shook his head, slightly amused. He couldn't fault Chan for becoming so enamored with you, but he could've at least paid more attention to his surroundings. One day, his naivety would bite him in the ass.

Chan was becoming more impatient by the second, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “What haven't I noticed?”

“She's not a Green, Chan,” he looked him in the eye, his gaze unwavering.

“She's an Orange.”

For the following few seconds, Chan felt like the air was being kicked out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe, he realized in panic, as his breath began to heave. His brain was foggy, almost as if he was thrust underwater with no way out.

“H-how do you…” the words died out in his throat, “how do you know?”

Before Jisung could even answer, a loud crank ricochetted through the store, causing the both of them to look up. A bright spark of electricity flashed above their heads before eventually vanishing from sight, but it was enough. It was enough for them to know that something was wrong.

“Shit, Seungmin!” Chan exclaimed, hastily climbing up onto his feet and breaking into a sprint. Jisung was hot on his heels, fear coursing through his veins as he thought of all the things that could've possibly happened.

And none of them were pretty.

“Stay behind me,” Chan instructed as they ran, causing Jisung to roll his eyes. “I mean it—you saw what they did to us—and it would've been a lot worse if it weren't for Jeno vouching for me.”

“Of course,” he sighed. “I'll let them hurt you instead of me, sure.”

Chan turned around to shoot him a half-baked glare but a loud scream caused him to nearly trip, his arms shooting out to brace himself against the wall.

“Let go of him! Don't you dare hurt him,” Chan heard you scream, your voice hoarse and muffled, as if you were being held.

“Fuck,” he whispered to himself, clenching his fists. They've just crossed into uncharted territory.

Suddenly, someone shouted, disbelief evident in their tone. “What the fuck? What did she just do?”

When Chan and Jisung arrived at the scene, their eyes flying from one side to the other as they tried to understand what had just happened, you were gripping onto the leader's wrist, staring at him with an unmatched intensity.

Your eyes flashed orange as you dug your fingernails into his arm, feeling the inexplicable rush of power course through you as you slowly sunk into his subconsciousness. His memories were foggy, almost as if you were trying to swim through mud, but you persisted, a clear goal forming at the back of your head.

It took you approximately fifteen seconds to get a good grip on him, and when you felt like you finally had control, you uttered the words with so much spite and venom it later shook you to the core.

“Let him go.”

In the relatively short time that Chan knew you, he had never seen you so angry or heard you order anyone to do anything in that tone.

The boy looked lost for a moment as if he was struggling to get out from under your spell but it was a relatively short battle. In no time, he found himself nodding blankly, his eyes devoid of any emotions as he turned around to his goon that was restraining Seungmin.

“You heard what she said. Release him!”

Scared and visibly confused, the boy released him, immediately retreating with a few hurried steps, hands held high in the air. “O-okay. Calm down. P-Please.”

Another one spoke up, “b-boss? Are you sure? What's going on—”

“She's a fucking Orange, mate!” the guy who had restrained Seungmin shouted. “That's what's going on. So if you don't want to get brainwashed—”

“Shut up!” you cried over their chatter, feeling the dull throb in your head intensify. You felt like someone was hammering against your skull as you released your physical grip on the boy. Pressing your palm to your forehead, you mumbled, “get out of here. Take your entire group and go somewhere far away.”

Eyes still blank, he nodded, motioning for his cronies. “C'mon, guys. We're out of here.”

Two of them were about to protest but one look at the empty, lifeless eyes of their boss and they knew that they had to do what he said if they didn't want to suffer the same fate. As they were picking up their stuff, Jisung immediately ran up to Seungmin, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. “Shhh, it's okay now,” he whispered into the crook of his neck, wiping away his tears.

But before they could go, an idea flashed through your mind. “Wait a sec,” you called out, clenching your fists. “Do you know anything about the location of Yellow Wood?”

The leader turned around, catching your gaze as he whispered, “where the grass grows blue…”

You were dizzy, confused. It felt like the ground was being yanked from beneath your feet, causing you to brace yourself against the bedpost. Your head was pounding and you felt like shit, suddenly remembering how you lashed out.

It was scary to realize you were capable of doing such a thing. This was the second time in your life that you used your powers willingly. You had half a mind to grab your few belongings and run out of the store, not wanting to face any of your friends, but you were too weak for that.

“Y/N!” Chan called instantaneously, finally finding the voice that had died down in his throat. “A-Are you okay?”

You slowly looked up, teary-eyed as you shook your head, choking out a sob. “N-No.”

With hurried steps, he eliminated the distance between you, hands reaching to wrap around your waist to prevent you from falling as he gently lowered you on the bed, rubbing comforting circles into your waist.

“Hey, hey. It's alright, okay? You're probably very tired now, aren't you?” he cooed softly, looking at you with so much fondness it made your heart clench. You looked away, whispering, “stop it. Stop being so nice to me. I-I know you must think I'm a monster now.”

“We don't.”

This time, it was Jisung who spoke up, walking over to you, clutching onto Seungmin's hand. “You did what you had to do to protect yourself and Seungmin. There's no way we'd ever hold that against you.”

“I-I never told anyone…” your voice was barely above a whisper. “Six years had passed since I last used my power. I-I did it to avoid getting sorted since I knew they'd send me away. It was easier to pretend that I was a Green…”

“You're no monster, darlin',” Chan swallowed, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. “You're a survivor, just like the rest of us. You're one of us…”

“It just seems like… I feel like the more that I try, the more damage that I do,” you uttered, balling your hands into fists. Despite having so much disposable power at the tips of your fingers, you felt utterly powerless.

“There are times when my abilities go out of control. I-I… I managed to erase myself from someone's memories… twice.”

Hiccups wracked through your throat as you finally let it all out, the dam that was holding you together now breaking loose. Chan wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to sob into his chest. The tears kept streaming down your face like a waterfall and you were sure you looked like a complete mess, but it felt so good to be held in someone's arms. You felt safe and protected as you held onto him, crying into his chest.

“My parents. My parents and Jeongin.”

Chan immediately knew what you were talking about as he felt his heart crack at your confession. He knew how much Jeongin meant to you and he could only assume you felt as much love for your parents too.

“Shhh, it's okay,” he whispered, pressing you closer into him. “Everything will be okay, I promise.”

And for some unknown reason, you felt like he was right. You allowed yourself to indulge in the momentary feeling of peace as Chan held you in his lap, strong arms wrapped around you protectively.

“Do you think we can stay here overnight?” Jisung asked as he walked up to you with Seungmin in his arms. “Min's out of commission for today so it may be a good idea to rest here properly before we head out. We can also try to brainstorm and figure out what they mean by blue grass.”

Chan pondered, glancing around as if to make sure that the group was truly gone. “Yeah,” he sighed, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. “They should be gone by now.”

“Okay, great. I’m still not sure what happened to him though but I think I must’ve drained his energy.”

As he laid the boy on the plush duvet of the neighboring bed, Chan decided that it would be nice for you guys to rearrange yourselves into a more comfortable position. He felt how you tensed in his arms when Jisung began to question what had previously occurred, his brows creasing.

“I’m really sorry for asking about this, Y/N,” he sighed, rubbing his temples in exasperation, “but well… I-I’m wondering if you could tell us what exactly happened. I know this must be really hard on you, I really do, but Min has been through some tough things as well and it would help a great deal to know so we know how to react once ha wakes up.”

You held your breath, unable to prevent your lips from tugging upwards at the corners. Chan was flustered, words spilling from his mouth and you could tell how apologetic he was. If it weren’t for the fact that Seungmin was involved, he wouldn’t have pressed you about it.

But the entire situation was still too much for you to put into words. Merely thinking about it got your insides all twisted.

“Yeah,” Jisung suddenly materialized right in front of you, crouching by the bed. “I'm really sorry about this.”

“It's okay,” you sighed, looking away. Your brain was going into overdrive as it struggled to find a way to tell them what exactly had transpired without having to utter the words. Chan, noticing how you tensed, grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

And then it finally hit you—you didn't have to tell them anything.

You could show them.

Taking a deep breath, your free hand reached out to grab Jisung's, the boy glancing at you with a quirked brow before he smacked his lips in understanding. “This will feel a little weird,” you warned before plunging them into the depths of your own memories, concentrating on steering them towards today's events.

Chan felt like he was walking on a cloud, slivers of your memories flashing before his eyes. He saw you laughing with your mom, riding your bike with your dad, and celebrating your birthday at your grandma's.

Those were the happy ones. The recollections that you seemed to treasure and keep close to your heart. He subconsciously smiled at the thought, enjoying the fact that he could see you so young, so joyful, and full of life.

But there was a clear moment that broke through the peaceful calmness and tranquility. Chan saw red. You were crying, sobbing even, as you were dragged away from your parents and thrown into a school bus with a few dozen other kids. You looked barely ten, he noted.

All the reminiscence onwards was from camp. To his horror, he realized that the nickname ‘hell on earth’ didn't do West Creek any justice. Inferno would be more fitting. Yet amongst the traumatic memories, Chan was surprised to have found a few that seemed to help you through these tough times.

He saw a boy, maybe a year or two younger than himself, eat lunch with you. The same boy would later reappear in a few of your other memories, always donning a bright yellow jumpsuit and always smiling.

And then he saw pain. You were crying as Jeongin looked at you with lifeless eyes as he uttered a question that chilled Chan to the bone.

“Who are you?”

And judging by the way you began crying, Chan knew that from this moment onward, you'd truly despise the power you possessed.

All of these recollections passed through them like a whirlwind, in reality taking mere seconds as opposed to the long minutes it felt like for the two boys. Your grip on their arms tightened when you finally reached today.

Chan saw himself bid goodbye both to your half-asleep body and Seungmin, ruffling his hair as he went off to search for Jisung. As soon as he saw himself round the corner, he spotted the group of guys walk in. He released a breath he didn't realize he was holding in when he confirmed that Jeno wasn't in the forefront of the group.

But the scene that unfolded before his very own eyes (well, not really…) was so mind-boggling he balled his hand into a fist. Seungmin had just gone to get you a bottle of water after you had quietly asked him, your throat feeling unusually parched.

In the meantime, the leader of the group made his way to you from behind, his hand sliding down your shoulder causing you to gasp. You whipped your head, flinching when your eyes met.

“What do you want?” you croaked, cursing yourself for sounding so meek. The gears in your head were spinning as you struggled to think of what to do. You shivered when you saw the hungry look in his eyes, feeling disgusted as you watched his gaze drop down from your face as he checked you out.

While you were laying in a bed. Sick. Because of him.

“Oh, nothin' really, sweetheart,” he mumbled, tracing his finger down your arm. “I just wanted to talk. It's been a while since I've had the honor of speaking to someone as pretty as you”

A vein popped on your forehead as you grumbled, “I wonder why. Now scram, I don't have anything to talk to you about.”

His brows furrowed when he heard the frustration apparent in your tone. “Anger doesn't really suit you, you know. You should come join us, I'm sure you'd have a lot more fun without those losers,” he whispered into your ear, his hand lowering to your hip. “I guarantee it.”

“Enough,” you protested, shooting him a glare. With enough force, you were able to tear yourself away from him, smacking his hand away in the process.

“Seungmin!” you called for the boy who had just appeared from around the corner, a bottle of water firmly clutched in his hands. “It's okay,” you tried to reassure him, noticing the fear in his eyes. “Go get Chan and Jisung. We're getting out of here.”

He nodded hastily, scrambling to get your friends but the boy behind you shouted, “grab him, Seojoon!”

Your eyes widened when said boy sprinted towards Seungmin, curling his palm to lift him in the air. ‘A Blue,’ you realized. And a pretty damn strong one too.

Seungmin struggled, trying to hold on to one of the shelves but he wasn't strong enough to resist the pull. You watched in horror, calling for them to stop but Seojoon merely laughed in response. In a last-ditch effort though, Seungmin's hand managed to graze one of the old lamps on the ceiling, sending a firework of sparks into the air.

“I wouldn't do that again if I were you,” he warned Seungmin, the boy curling into a small ball as he was brought back down, straight into Seojoon's arms. He made a quick work of restraining him, ignoring your protests.

“That's enough,” you shouted, lunging forward, your arm extending. You let out a satisfying hum when you managed to grip onto his arm, slowly beginning to sink into his head…

It took you a minute or so to come back to reality.

You didn't even realize you were crying. Silent sobs wracked through your body as Chan rocked you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“Shhh, everything will be okay,” he mumbled, wiping away your tears with the pad of his thumb. “I won't let anyone hurt you.”

You sniffled into his shirt, calming your breathing. “I-I'm sorry, I think I ruined your shirt.”

“It's okay,” Chan chuckled, grinning. “I couldn't care less, darlin'.”

A sudden loud clang caused you jump in Chan's hold, eyes widening as you nervously looked over his shoulder.

“Jisung?” Chan exclaimed in disbelief, “what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Jisung grumbled, allowing his hand to fall back down by his side, clenched into a fist. He had just knocked over all the contents off a shelf which caused the loud echoing noise.

“I'm just fucking pissed.”

“I can tell,” Chan sighed, rubbing his temples, “but that doesn't mean you should go destroy things. You could wake up Seungmin.”

Jisung stared at him, completely bewildered, his mouth twitching. “Are you fucking serious? How can you be so calm after what they did? You should be— you should be fucking livid!”

Irritation flooded through Chan's veins as he glared at his friend, unable to comprehend why the usually calm and rational Jisung was reacting in such a way. It's not that he didn't understand where he was coming from, far from it. Chan was furious. But at this point, aggravation wouldn't do them any good.

“Look, Ji,” he mumbled, trying to keep his voice calm and steady. “I understand how you feel. Trust me, the sole thing I regret in my life the most is not bashing in their skulls. But there's nothing we can do now. Our best course of action is to get a good sleep and make sure something like that doesn't happen again, okay?”

Jisung's eyes darted from Seungmin to you, his expression softening slightly. He exhaled, propping his forehead against the well before he murmured, “seems like you're the voice of reason for once, Chan.”

Gently pushing yourself away from Chan's chest, you jumped off of his lap, walking towards Jisung. “Hey,” you placed your hand on his shoulder. He turned around, his eyes glassy. “Y-Yeah?”

“I really appreciate your concern, Jisung. It's heartwarming to see how much your care about your friends, but you shouldn't worry yourself so much. Seungmin and I will be okay, alright?”

He smiled at you from under his lashes, whispering, “Sung. You can call me Sung.”

“Okay. Now, how about we put our heads together and figure out what blue grass they're talking about, Sung?”

He grinned, peering at you from under his lashes. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

𝚡𝟷𝟹𝚡

“Ugh, I'm so done,” you groaned, slamming your head against the table. From next to you, Chan chuckled, patting your pack. “Patience is a virtue, darlin'.”

You shot him a glare, mumbling, “patience my ass. You were just complaining a few minutes ago about how much you hate them for leaving us such a stupid riddle.”

“She is right,” Jisung chimed, grinning when Chan scowled.

The three of you have been sitting around the table closest to Seungmin's bed for a few hours now but to you, it felt like a lifetime. You were straining your neck to peer at the paper placed in the middle, filled with messy notes and scribbles. To be fair, it was hard to keep things organized when the only thing you had was a Hello Kitty notepad and a green crayon.

“Look,” Jisung muttered, grabbing hold of the colored crayon. “He was under Y/N's powers, right? So whatever he said must be true. And if that's the case, then we should take ‘blue grass’ at face value. I highly doubt that it's some sort of overcomplicated metaphor that the two of you are making it out to be.”

As if to accentuate his words, he circled the word ‘blue’, adding another note. “Don't you see it?”

Chan exhaled through his teeth, his hand that was propping up his chin suddenly falling to his side. “But that doesn't explain where's the blue grass in the first place. I, for one, am only familiar with the green one.”

“I know,” Jisung rolled his eyes at the snarkiness, “but that doesn't mean that there can't be blue grass under some specific circumstances.”

You sat by the table in silence, each one of you lost in their own little world as you explored different theories. The gears in your head were spinning, and you were beginning to feel dizzy, the exhaustion from prior today slowly catching up with you.

Chan noticed you dozing off when your head lolled to the side, your hair brushing against his shoulder. He slowly propped you up, declaring, “we should probably go to sleep now. Hopefully, after a proper rest, we can look at it with a fresh set of eyes.”

“Okay,” Jisung replied with the crayon in between his teeth, brows furrowed as he focused on the paper in front of him. “I'll call it quits in a few.”

𝚡𝟷𝟺𝚡

You woke up to the loud sound of snoring, shuffling under the covers till you were face to face with a sleeping Chan. Heat rose to your cheeks as you watched his chest rise and fall, his plush lips gently parted and oh-so inviting for you to just press a kiss to.

But you managed to ignore the feeling nagging inside of your chest, instead stretching your limbs with a groan. It was nice to finally sleep on a proper bed.

“Is it mornin' already?” Chan suddenly rasped, his morning voice a lot deeper than usual. But why did it manage to send shivers down your spine?

“Morning, sleepy,” you giggled, ruffling his fluffy hair. “I'm not really sure what time it is but the Sun is rising.”

“We should probably get going then,” he yawned, stretching his arms above his head. You nearly cooed when he began blinking, chasing away the sleep from his eyes. He looked up at you, a delicate smile plastered on his lips.

“Do you know where's Jisung?” you suddenly asked, straining your head to look over the sea of beds. Seungmin was on the one behind you, still curled up in the sheets, but Jisung was nowhere to be found.

Chan shot up, limbs tangled in between the covers as he swept his eyes across the room. And true to your word, he didn't see him.

“Shit!”

“Bring Seungmin,” he mumbled, tumbling out of bed. “I'll go check in the van.”

When you managed to drag a drowsy Seungmin into the parking lot, you could hear loud voices arguing. You peeked into the inside of the van, spotting Jisung and Chan sprawled on the floor.

“Thank God,” you breathed out a sigh of relief. “I was afraid something happened to you for a second there.”

“Y/N!” Jisung shouted, your name rolling off his tongue in excitement. His bright eyes were peering at you with way too much joy despite it being so early in the morning. Yet what worried you the most were the prominent dark circles under his eyes.

“Geez,” you frowned, “you look like you haven't gotten a wink of sleep.”

“Oh well,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as guilt washed over his features. “I kinda pulled an all-nighter.”

Chan glared at him, his hand jerking beside his side. He looked about two seconds away from conking him in the head. Instead, he settled on mumbling, “idiot.”

Shuffling through a stack of paper, Jisung pulled out a map, placing it on the floor of the van and smoothing out the folds and creases. He turned to face you, excitement pooling in his eyes.

“But I think I may have figured out where Yellow Wood is,” he grinned, before adding, “oh, well… at least the general area.”

Your brows shot up as you plopped onto the ground, pulling Seungmin into your lap.

“Please do share. You've piqued my interest.”

“Okay. So basically, I was thinking about yesterday's conversation. I firmly believe that you can't really come up with any cunning metaphors under an Orange's influence so I took his words at face value.”

He pointed to the words ‘blue grass’ boldly written in the middle of the paper. “I chose that as my starting point.”

He lifted his eyes, catching your gaze as a mysterious smile played on his lips. You glanced back at Chan, noticing that his chin was propped by the palm of his hand as he stared at Jisung, a blank expression on his face.

“So I stumbled upon a chemistry book in the literature aisle at the store so I began reading through it,” he continued, pulling out an old book that was nearly falling apart at the seam. “And coincidentally, I happened to come across a chapter about grass. Specifically, about how heat affects its appearance.”

“Are you trying to say that we should look for the hottest region?” Chan questioned, scooting closer to Jisung so he could look over his shoulder. The boy shrugged, turning the page.

“Not necessarily. You see, there are actually multiple things that could trigger grass discoloration and cause it to turn it a shade that resembles a metallic blue. And you know where all these correlations meet?”

“Here!” his finger pointed to the bright red circle on the map. “It all comes together in the Southeast Hills wasteland!”

“I-I,” you tugged your lip between your teeth. “I don't understand. Why Southeast Hills?”

“All the circumstantial evidence points to it! First of all, we have an abnormal drought in the area—and dry soil contributes greatly to this phenomenon. Secondly, when you look at the location,” his index finger ran over the map, pointing to the blob of sandy yellow, “you can immediately tell that it couldn't be any better. A vast land that's basically just forests and fields, and get this, not a single government body or camp in sight.”

“Okay,” the word rolled down Chan's tongue slowly as he licked his lips. “That all looks pretty promising, Sung, but I still feel like it isn't definitive enough for us to be sure…”

Jisung smiled, the expression not fully reaching his eyes as he flipped through the book, stopping at one of the last pages. All three of you bent over in anticipation, hanging on his lips.

“You see that's what I told myself too,” he quipped, a certain intensity to his tone, “but then I found this. It's an article from over forty years ago about a chemical spill that happened during the Cold War. There was a disaster at a nearby power plant that resulted in the entire area being contaminated by a chemical often referred to as ‘myrtille’ which means blueberry in french. And can you tell why?”

He paused, glancing over the three of you, a grin appearing on his face. “Because of its coloring properties.”

The van was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your mouth was parted in awe as you stared at Jisung, still in shock from his revelation. Chan was just as bewildered as you were, if not more, and you could nearly see the gears spinning in his head as he tried to put all the puzzle pieces together.

“So… do you believe me now, guys?” Jisung suddenly spoke up, grinning proudly as he watched your jaws drop.

Then, Chan broke out into a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows, “I think we know our destination now.”

The four of you returned to grab all the supplies you've gathered, storing them in the back of the van as you hit the highway, cheers and laughter spilling from your lips.

“Let's carpe the hell out of this diem!”

𝚡𝟷𝟻𝚡

Your arrival at Yellow Wood was something you'd never forget. After three days of driving across the country, almost getting caught by skip tracers twice, Chan finally pulled up by the old road sign with the words ‘Southeast Hills’.

The four of you jumped out of the vehicle, Chan pulling the doors shut as you examined the vast, unkempt meadow. Planes and planes of wildflowers, tousled grass, and greenery stretched in front of your eyes, the thick blades having grown tall enough to obstruct most of the barbwire fence that fringed the wasteland.

“Look!” Jisung called out, pointing to the sign. “This is it! W-We're here!”

And true to his word, someone carved out the words ‘Yellow Wood’ right under the name.

“Holy shit!” Chan whispered, still in shock. “We actually made it.”

As if on cue, a dozen or so figures emerged from the bushes, all dressed head to toe in military gear with weapons in their hands. Although your first instinct was to panic and run back into the van, Chan grabbed your hand, pulling you into his side.

“No way! Is that you, mate?” one of the guys stepped forward, letting his AR-15 drop to the ground as he briskly walked up to Chan, drawing him into a hug. “You've bulked up!”

Chan chuckled at his words, patting his back with a smile. “Nice to see you, Sangyeon! Who knew we'd cross paths so soon.”

Sangyeon walked up to Jisung, embracing him as well before picking up Seungmin into his arms and twirling him around. “Hey, bud. How's it going?”

You watched the exchange with nothing but fondness in your eyes, the edges of your mouth curving into a sad smile. After Sangyeon finished greeting the three, he turned around to face you, an odd twinkle in his eyes.

“I see that you've managed to pick someone up along the way.”

“Yeah,” Chan grinned, wrapping his arm around your waist. “This is Y/N, we met and scooped her up as we were running from some PSFs. She escaped from West Creek. Y/N, this is Sangyeon. He was one of our friends back in camp.”

“Hey,” you shook his hand, suddenly feeling shy from all the eyes looking straight at you. You weren't used to the attention, a bashful smile on your lips. “Nice to meet you.”

His grip was firm, you noted, and he had warm brown eyes. The watched you intently as he let go of your hand, bringing it to his mouth and whistling.

“All right, everyone. They're cleared.”

And then like the Red sea, everyone stepped back, creating a pathway for you to go in. It felt nervewracking to walk into an establishment with a barbed wire running across its border when you had just bent over backward to escape from one.

Chan must've noticed the way your hand lightly trembled because in no time, he placed his palm over yours, gently intertwining your fingers.

“I have to take you to the boss first,” Sangyeon spoke as he led you through the camp, sucking on a lollipop as he greeted all the passing kids. “He's been dying to see you.”

“No way,” Chan gloated, “the Slip Kid wants to talk to us?”

Sangyeon released the lolly with a ‘pop’ before shoving his hands into his pocket. “Yeah. He's been especially excited to finally meet another Orange.”

Your mouth parted in shock, muttering, “this can't be. The Slip Kid's an Orange too?”

“Yeah. and a damn good one at that! C'mon, it's time for you to meet him.”

𝚡𝟷𝟼𝚡

The rest of the day passed by like a whirlwind, and before you could even register it, the Sun began to set.

The four of you were welcomed to Yellow Wood rather warmly, and you immediately noted that the way things were run here was a lot smoother than in any of the government camps. Everyone had their own responsibilities—their own little obligations to fulfill. Yet not a single person you passed by seemed unhappy.

On the contrary, everyone was joyful and full of life. It was almost too good to be true.

Meeting the Slip Kid was also an experience in and of itself. You should have known—it was ironic how you instantly recognized him, even though you've never actually seen him in your entire life.

But you were surrounded by posters of his younger self for the past six years, haunted by his lifeless eyes and pale skin.

Yet now, he seemed to be glowing.

Hwang Hyunjin was just as handsome in person as you would've expected.

His dewy skin glowed under the fluorescent lamp hanging in the middle of his room, his hair had grown out, dark brown tips now reaching his shoulders, and most importantly, his cherry lips were as plump as ever, still the same shade of pink.

“No way,” Jisung gasped, taking a step back. “You're the Slip Kid? B-But you're Hwang's son—”

“Nu-uh, save your inquiries for later,” Hyunjin tutted, pushing himself upwards into a standing position. “There's a lot I'd like to discuss with you.”

He then walked up to you, placing his hand on your shoulder as he scanned your face, smiling brightly as his eyes turned into little crescent moons. “I've heard a lot about you. You're Y/N, right?”

You were in shock, your entire body tensed as it refused to move a muscle. The way he was looking at you… it was weirdly unsettling and you weren't entirely sure why. You felt like you were stripped naked in front of him, vulnerable… almost as if he could see into your head and share your thoughts.

And then it hit you. He could.

Calmly, you grabbed his hand, gently taking it off your shoulder. “Yeah, that's me. How could you've heard anything about me though?”

“Oh,” he laughed, the sound dripping from his lips like honey. “I have my ways. I know everything, you know? Especially if it concerns the last undetected Orange.”

Then he turned around to face Chan, “ah. I know you too! You're Chris Bang, right? The most wanted kid in the country.”

When Chan refused to answer, his hand reached nack to pick up a stack of papers from the desk, rearranging them in his hands. “I must say, you guys will be a great addition to the team. We've been in dire need of a strong Blue.”

Turning around, you noticed the way Jisung shuffled his feet, heat rising to his cheeks as he looked away, clearly embarrassed. He must've been uncomfortable to be completely ignored and disregarded by Hyunjin, almost like he wasn't wanted here in the first place.

“See, they're offering a real' fortune for whoever brings you in.”

Chan scoffed, rolling his eyes at his words. He didn't like him, that was for sure. Hyunjin, who must've sensed the unease, placed the heap of papers back on the table as he gave Chan a mischievous smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

“I must ask the three of you to wait outside for a few minutes. I'd like to discuss something in private with Y/N.”

Frowning, Chan looked him up and down, an unreadable expression playing on his lips. He still didn't want to let go of your hand and leave you alone with Hyunjin, but there was nothing he could do. He threw the taller boy a glare as he walked out of the room, Jisung and Seungmin following suit.

But before the door could slam in his face, he turned around, catching your gaze. The way his mouth quirked, you could tell what he was trying to convey.

‘Don't worry. I'll be outside, waiting…’

And the door slammed.

𝚡𝟷𝟽𝚡

Hyunjin's words were still echoing in your head as you walked out of the small building. The sunlight streaming through the cracks of the wooden rooftop illuminated your face, casting a gentle glow on your skin.

“Oh, hey,” you greeted Chan whose back was against the wall, looking up at the sky with his eyes closed. It looked like he was soaking up the sunlight, relishing in the rare moment of peace and tranquility.

“Hey, how did it go?”

Plopping on the ground next to where he was standing, you sighed, “I think it went okay. He asked me if he could train me though, as in like… help me hone my abilities.”

Chan's brows furrowed as he looked down at you, pulling his hands out of his pockets before sitting down beside you. “Isn't that a good thing though? I mean—you can already do some awesome shit but I can imagine how much your skills would improve if you had some guidance?”

When he noticed your skeptical expression, he elaborated, “trust me, I've been in your shoes before, unaware of all the things I could do before someone senior offered to help me.”

“I see your point,” you mumbled, casting your gaze into your lap, “but I'm still trying to finger out if what I'm doing is even morally acceptable. I need to know where to draw the line… how far can I go without being a monster?”

“Y/N,” Chan sighed, grabbing both your hands in his as he looked you in the eye. “You're not a monster, okay? And you never will be if you're simply protecting yourself. We all have to make do with what we have whether we've got the ability to slip into someone's mind, hurl a truck at them, or outsmart them with our super brain.”

You giggled at his reply, feeling a little better after hearing his reassuring words. “Thank you, Chan,” you whispered, leaning into his side and allowing your head to drop onto his shoulder.

With your warm body so close to him, Chan felt like his heart was about to explode inside of his chest. Smiling, he scooted a bit closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“No problem.”

And the two of you sat there in a comfortable silence until dinner was announced, neither of you wanting to get up. But then, as if on cue, your stomach let out a loud rumble, heat rising to the tips of your ears as Chan stifled a laugh, grabbing your hand and dragging your begrudging form along with him.

“C'mon. We need to feed that whale in your stomach, darlin'.”

𝚡𝟷𝟾𝚡

You've never felt so content and at peace as you did right now.

The night sky was clear, not a single cloud in sight as you watched the sunset cast a warm, golden glow. You were sitting around the massive bonfire, watching the flames lick away at the wooden planks pilled up in the middle, curled into Chan's side as his arm was wrapped tightly around your waist.

Everything felt so serene, you relished in the peace and welfare that Yellow Wood had so far offered you. Everyone seems so happy here, and it shocked you to no end how they managed to create such an atmosphere where you momentarily forgot about everything going on outside the fenced-in walls that guarded this place.

Almost as if the camps didn't exist in the first place — as if the Choi disease had never happened…

When the music started playing, everyone suddenly got up, beginning to dance to the summery track. You smiled—the mood was great, everybody clearly having a good time. If you could, you'd stop time and stay in this moment forever.

“C'mon, dance with me,” Chan grinned, standing up. He extended his hand towards you, like a true gentleman, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Would you do me the honors?”

Your eyes widened, you had to fight the urge to look back and make sure he wasn't talking to anyone else, before pointing at yourself with a shaky finger. “M-Me? You want to dance with me?”

Chan placed his hands on his hips, pretending to be deep in thought. “No. Actually, I wanted to dance with that really jacked dude that's standing a few feet behind you.”

“Hey!” you swatted his arm playfully, nervously biting your lip. “Stop being sarcastic all the time.”

“I'm sorry,” he broke out into a grin, rubbing the back of his neck. “You're just so easy to tease,”

You looked up, heat rising to your cheeks when you saw the lingering anticipation on his handsome face, the signature dimples appearing making an appearance. It was nearly impossible to say no to him, but for some reason, you were too anxious to come join him, instead murmuring, “I'm a terrible dancer. The last time I tried was on my ninth birthday.”

Suddenly, you felt yourself being lifted into the air, the evening breeze grazing your skin.

“It's okay,” Chan replied, gently carrying you through the sea of bodies, his movements precise and controlled. “I can lead.”

“C-Chan!”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he lowered you into his arms with a flick of his wrist, his hand gently settling on your waist as he began to sway to the music. “I-I… nevermind…” you whispered, everything in your head going blank.

The simmering air around you, combined with the heat from the flames, made your muscles turn into mush. If you could press pause and stay in a single moment for the rest of your life, it would be now.

“You okay now, darlin'?” he reached to brush the hair from your face, his thumb grazing against your lips.

“Yeah. Better than ever.”

Your fingers found the bare skin of his forearms, gently tracing the muscles and the overlying veins. His skin was so soft, save for the few bruises and scratches that decorated it. When his hand slid under your shirt, gently rubbing your lower back, you felt like your knees were about to buckle under your weight.

His hands were so warm and wide and his touch was electrifying. Almost as if a current passed through you, you shivered, pressing yourself closer to him.

As the melody of the track thumped through your body, Chan's steady hand managed to safely maneuver you through the heaps of people. The entire time, his gaze was fixed on you, eyes gazing into yours.

“God,” he murmured, strengthening his grip on your waist.

“What?”

“Did you know that you sometimes make me forget how to breathe?” he blew out a shaky breath, his facade crumbling right in front of your eyes.

“I'm looking at you and it's like the only thought inside of my head is how much I want to kiss you.”

Your heart was beating inside of your ribcage and when you felt his breath fan over your cheek, you looked up at him and whispered, “so why don't you do it?”

And that's all the motivation Chan needed; his hand cupping the back of your neck as he pressed his lips against yours, sealing them with a kiss.

Chan was a great kisser, you've deduced that from the grand total of two times that the two of you had kissed. His lips molded against yours perfectly, finding the ideal rhythm and pace.

When the two of you parted, you both had the dumbest smiles, giggles spilling from your lips.

“Wanna do that again?” his voice was shaky, still out of breath.

You grinned, placing your hand on his shoulder and pulling him closer to you. “Yeah, I'd love that.”

So Chan dove right back in, devouring your lips with his own as everything around you faded, leaving you to focus only on each other and the oxytocin coursing through your bodies.

𝚡𝟷𝟿𝚡

Your nerves were tingling as your hand reached for the doorknob. You weren't too excited to meet Hyunjin again, to be completely honest, but you knew it had to be done. Chan was right—honing your skills was important.

Plus, there also came the added bonus of Hyunjin agreeing to search through his network for Jeongin if you allowed him to train you…

It was oddly quiet and you wondered if he was even inside. Your question was answered when as soon as you knocked on the door, Hyunjin slammed it open.

He smiled breathlessly, his eyes turning into little crescent moons as he let you in, flushing when he realized that he was still in his PJs.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he mumbled, looking down at the oversized t-shirt and Garfield shorts. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment but relaxed when he heard you giggle.

“It's okay, your shorts are kinda cute.”

You thanked him for holding the door open for you and walked inside. Looking around the room, you noticed the array of photos hanging on his wall—lots from his childhood and some that were more recent.

“We can sit on the bed,” he motioned towards the back of the room, leading you before settling on the springy mattress. You took off your shoes before joining him, a soft smile playing on your lips.

“Okay so the first thing I'd like to say is that you can ease your nerves, there's no need to be nervous or scared.”

Slowly, you unclenched your fists, not even realizing how tensed your muscles were. “S-Sorry.”

“It's okay—we're learning here. No need to apologize.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “one of the most important things when it comes to getting out abilities under control is learning how they work. You need to know how to fight the intrusion if you want any hope of being able to do so safely and without any accidents.”

You shivered at his words, remembering the times when you erased yourself from the minds of your loved ones. Hyunjin, noticing your distress, reached to grab both your hands in his.

“It happened to you before, didn't it?”

You could tell that he knew as he gave you a look of pity and understanding. Almost as if he'd been through it too, eradicating himself from the consciousness of someone close to him.

“Y-Yeah. Twice…”

Hyunjin cursed under his breath softly, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. “You're not alone. I had done it too back when I didn't even know what it meant to be an Orange.”

You smiled, anguish written all over your face as you whispered, “it sucks, doesn't it?”

“Yeah. And I'll make sure it'll never happen to you again.”

The first exercise Hyunjin gave you was to block him out of your mind when he tried to slip into your memories. It sounded like a simple task, but in reality, you felt completely powerless when you felt him clawing at your precious consciousness.

“Build a wall around yourself, Y/N,” his voice managed to reach you, although you felt like you were slipping underwater, your mind foggy. “You need a visualization. Imagine there's a wall, curtain, door… or frankly any sort of barrier between the two of us.”

You frowned, closing your eyes as you swallowed down the ball of spit that had formed in your throat. You needed to focus.

Slowly, you began to picture a wooden door towering in front of you. In your mind, you forced yourself to extend your hand, pulling the door shut and turning the key. And bit by bit, you felt Hyunjin's intrusion fade out, no longer sensing the obtrusive presence of someone else in your head. The vulnerability you felt also disappeared as you gained some confidence after your successful defense, smiling to yourself.

“Good job!” Hyunjin cheered, positively beaming at the sight. “You've managed to do it on your first try! That's quite impressive.”

“Oh stop it,” you sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck. “I'm sure went easy on me.”

The guilty smile that appeared on his lips made you chuckle. “I didn't really go easy on you, per se… I just didn't fight back too much when you began to push me out. But it's important for you to get a feel of how it's like to fight off the intrusion, you know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. But it was pretty exhausting to do if I'm being honest.”

Shuffling his legs, he threw them off the edge of the bed before answering. “It always is when you try it for the first time. But soon, it'll feel like second nature to you, so don't worry, okay?”

You nodded, joining him at the edge of the bed as you gazed outside the window, smiling when you saw everyone running around and having. A comfortable silence enveloped you, and from the corner of your eye, you caught Chan in the group, settled on one side of the beach volleyball field as he tossed the ball in the air and sent it flying over the net.

You silently cheered, a large grin appearing on your face as you followed the game intently, trying not to waver as Chan slipped his shirt off mid-game, continuing to play without it. Hyunjin chuckled when he saw your furrowed brows and the tiny pout on your lips, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“You can go watch them play, you know? We're done for today.”

Nearly jumping in your seat, you turned to him, embarrassment written all over your face when you realized that he caught you staring at Chan. “O-Okay. I'll head out then. Thanks for everything.”

“No problem,” he simpered, waving you off. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

𝚡𝟸𝟶𝚡

The following few days you stuck to the same routine, focusing on resting and your training with Hyunjin. He had insisted that you weren't assigned any job yet so as a result, you had quite a lot of free time.

Today, you woke up a little bit earlier than usual, the sun filtering through the wooden planks of the small sleeping cabin you were assigned. Stretching your arms above your head, you yawned, throwing your legs over the bed and walking out into the morning sun.

“Good morning, Sung,” you plopped down next to the boy, patting him on the shoulder.

“Mornin'.”

The tone of his voice immediately set off alarm bells in your head as you turned around to face him, barely catching a glimpse of the pained expression on his face. He looked like he hadn't slept at all if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by.

“You okay, buddy? You don't exactly look like you're happy…”

“I'm fine,” Jisung groaned, burying his head in between his legs.”I'm just… uh… I don't even know, honestly. I've been feeling pretty weird ever since we got here.”

“How come?” you inquired, your heart breaking at the sight. It was unusual to see Jisung so sad. Sure, he could get grumpy quite often, but you had never seen him so… so miserable.

“It's just that…” he blew out a shaky breath, running his hand through his hair. “I feel so… lonely here. Like I'm not even welcome. Almost no one here's a Green—which of course makes sense—we're least likely to escape from camp since we both don't have the powers nor are we in such imminent danger as the others—”

“Jisung,” you gently cut him off mid-ramble, cupping his cheek. “Look at me; it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself in such detail every time, okay? Just tell me why you're feeling down.”

“I just feel like there's no place for me here…”

“Hey,” the word came out shakier than you'd hoped it would, but you brushed it off, looking him in the eye. “There's always a place for you, alright? And even if it's not here, you'll always have us, remember? I care about you, Ji, I really do… Chan would die for you, and Seungmin… you're his hero, don't you see that?”

Your heart nearly cracked when you heard him sniffle. Jisung blushed, wiping his face into the sleeve of his hoodie and turning away from you in embarrassment. “Don't look at me,” he mumbled.

“Okay, I've gotta go now, Sung,” you sprang up, sending him a quick thumbs-up before trudging away. “See you later.”

“Yeah,” Jisung whispered, wiping away the tears from his face. “See ya!”

𝚡𝟸𝟷𝚡

On your way to Hyunjin, you passed Chan by the soccer field, your heart rate quickening at the sight. He was, once again, surrounded by at least a dozen of people, laughing as he effortlessly passed the ball while managing to stay focused and converse with the person on his right.

Your chest tightened uncomfortably. While you had always assumed that Chan was the popular and outgoing type, you were shocked nonetheless to see how quickly he had managed to form his own little group of friends in less than a week.

Honestly, you couldn't help the pang of jealousy blossoming inside you.

You were looking forward to today's lesson; Hyunjin had promised you that he'd teach you how to undo the memory erasure—something that you desperately wanted to learn…

There was also the added bonus of his laptop sitting in the middle of his desk. It was the only technological device that could connect you with the outside world in the entire camp.

The lesson passed by in a blur, your mind still foggy as Hyunjin handed you a glass of water, patting you on the back.

“It's okay, you did well,” he praised, rubbing comforting circles onto your back as you gulped down the beverage. “It's a bit more complicated, especially since you don't have anyone to try it on…”

“I'm okay, don't worry,” you reassured him with a smile, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I'm just a bit out of breath, that's all.”

In the meantime, Hyunjin had walked up to his desk, plopping on the chair. He powered up his laptop, the shiny logo appearing on the screen illuminating his face.

“I got an email from one of my contacts in the morning,” he suddenly spoke up, catching your gaze. “I figured I should wait for you to read it though—it's about Jeongin.”

You tensed, feeling all the muscles in your body lock as you positioned yourself behind Hyunjin so that you were looking over his shoulder.

You felt your breath hitch when he clicked on the attachment, impatiently tapping your foot against the ground when the document lagged. When it finally loaded, you began skimming over the text, your frown deepening with every word that you read.

Towards the end, your eyes widened in disbelief, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you let out a shaky breath, clenching your fists.

“N-No… t-this can't be. I don't believe it!” you shouted as your eyes began to water. Hyunjin slowly stood up, a frown on his face as he rubbed your shoulder. “I'm really sorry…”

“I refuse to believe this,” you sniffed, not caring anymore that you looked pathetic with puffy eyes and watery cheeks. “This is not the Jeongin I know… he'd never do anything like this!”

“Y/N, I'm sorry but it's the truth and you need to accept it,” Hyunjin tried to grip your hand in hopes of comforting you but you tore it away, glaring at him. “How do you want me to accept that there's a fucking ten million dollar bounty placed on his head? And not only that!” you choked out, pointing a shaky finger at the screen and at the note under the ransom.”

“Dear or alive… they fucking offered 10 million for his corpse, for fuck's sake!”

With that, you stormed off, ignoring Hyunjin's pleas as you let the door slam behind you. You ran through the fields, stepping over the campfire site, sniffling at the thought of Jeongin. You were still in shock from what Hyunjin's email had contained.

It felt like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on your head, you felt broken… miserable. All you wanted to do was just bury your head under your pillow and pretend that the last ten minutes of your life had never happened. But now that you knew, you couldn't just ignore it.

Jeongin's life was in grave danger now that the bounty had been listed on the skip tracer network… it was only a matter of time before they'd all start looking for him, tracking him all over the country. His listing had beaten the previous highest ransom by a longshot—all the skip tracers who were focusing on Chan would now no doubt divert their attention and go after Jeongin.

You fumbled through the bushes, wiping away your tears as you inched closer to your little hut. In all honestly, you wanted to simply pack up your scarce belongings and disappear with the wind but your prayers were cut short as you heard a pair of loud voices.

You stumbled onto the tiny clearing in front of your assigned cottage, eyes blown wide as you watched Chan and Jisung engage in a very heated debate, the latter fuming with anger.

“Oh, hey, Y/N—wait, what happened?” Chan questioned, his voice cracking at the sight of you. You were a mess, to put it lightly, even Jisung frowned deeply at the sight, his eyebrows creasing.

“Are you okay?”

You ignored both of their questions, pushing past them to get through the door. There, you began to pull out all your stuff from the drawers, granted, you didn't own that many things, before shoving them into your little backpack.

“Hey, darlin', please,” you could sense the desperation in tone. “Tell me what's wrong…”

You snapped your head to face him, ready to tell him off but the words died on your tongue. Watching the different emotions flash on his face, you felt your heart softening. It wasn't his fault after all, wasn't it? He had done nothing wrong…

You hadn't even realized that you began to cry again, tears streaming down your cheeks as you hiccuped into your sleeve, embarrassed that the two got to see you in such a state. Chan immediately rushed to your side, pulling you onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Shhh, it's okay,” he whispered, pulling you close to him as you sobbed into his t-shirt, no doubt staining the cotton with your tears. “Everything will be alright, don't worry.”

As cheesy as it sounded, Chan's soft reassurance and his gentle caresses managed to lull you into a state where you were able to think rationally, struggling only a little bit to get the words out of your mouth.

“I-It's Jeongin,” you murmured, hiding your head in the crook of his neck. “Hyunjin had managed to trace him.”

Gently running his hands down your sides, you felt oddly encouraged to continue, “there's a ten million dollar bounty on his head, Chan. Dead or alive…”

After uttering these words, you felt your heart constrict in your chest once again as you hiccuped. “A-And that's not even everything.”

Chan tried his best to hide his shock, not wanting to freak you out more than you already were, so he bit down his tongue to prevent the surprised gasp that threatened to leave his parted lips, instead burying his head into yours as he inhaled the sweet scent of your shampoo.

“H-He's not the same person he used to be, Channie. He's turned into a monster… I-I just, ugh—” you groaned, clutching onto his shirt tightly. You were both scared and frustrated at the same time.

“He apparently escaped with some other Yellows and they formed a tribe. But the reason there's such a high bounty over his head is because t-they'd,” you choked out, unable to produce a coherent sentence.

“They began attacking supply vans and killing the drivers in the process… I can't believe it. The Jeongin I knew—he'd never do such a thing!”

“You know, sometimes, the people we once knew do unspeakable things—that's just how it is,” Chan muttered under his breath, tilting your head so that you were looking him in the eye. “You can't take responsibility for other people's actions. As much as you'd like to believe it, you never truly know what each person is thinking. They could've had a reason that drove them to resort to such extreme measures, even if we don't agree, there's always reasoning behind one's actions.”

“But taking other people's lives?” you cried, your voice going an octave higher. “That's not right, no matter the circumstances.”

Chan held you in his arms for a few more minutes until you calmed down, suddenly pushing him away and getting off his lap.

“Where are you going?” he asked, tone laced with panic as he watched your expression harden. You wiped away the remaining tears staining your cheeks before you got back to packing your bag.

“I'm leaving this place. I have to find Jeongin before he gets himself killed.”

There was no room for negotiation, Chan was sure of that. Behind your moist eyes blazed a fire, a strong, determined, and powerful fire that he couldn't put out. No. He had to add fuel to it for it to burn.

“We're coming with you.”

No. They couldn't. There was no way you'd allow them to go with you, no way in hell would you watch them leave the safe haven they've been dreaming about for so long.

You turned around to face him, and with lifeless eyes, you whispered, “no… you can't.”

It was more of a plea than a statement, your voice cracking terribly as you tried to control the onslaught of emotions. “Chan, please, you can't keep risking your lives for me, you know?”

“Well, you can't keep trying to run away from me. I'm not letting you go alone.”

You clutched the piece of clothing in your hand, lowering your gaze onto the ground. “I-I… t-this—this isn't gonna work, Chan…”

“Why?” his voice was suddenly louder, filled with fervor as walked up to you, grabbing your hands in his. “Give me one reason why we can't be together and I'll give you a hundred why we can. We can go anywhere you want. I'm not like your parents, I'm not going to abandon you or send you away, not ever.”

As if on cue, the door burst open, Jisung popping his head inside. “Min and I packed up our stuff. We're ready to go.”

You stared at them in disbelief, the words beginning to form at the tip of your tongue but Chan beat you to it, a grin already poking at his lips.

“See, you're not the only one that wants to leave this place. All four of us will go and help you find your friend, isn't that right?”

From the entrance, Jisung gave you a smile and Seungmin nodded aggressively, causing you to nearly tear up all over again. You were so touched that this little group of misfits that you've joined had become like family to you, willing to risk it all just to help you.

“Are you sure, guys? I-I mean… you can't take this back once you come…”

Chan slowly lifted his head and there was so much conviction in your eyes it made you dizzy. When he uttered the following words, it seemed to be the surest he'd ever been about something in his entire life.

“Let's go.”

After Chan had packed his small bag, the four of you walked out of the cabin, heading towards the main gate. A small group of kids stopped what they were doing to watch you, clearly having never witnessed people leave the camp.

When you arrived at the main gate, you were surprised to see a small group of armed people with guns slung over their shoulders clearly guarding the exit. They all tensed up when they saw you, immediately blocking your way as one of them spoke up.

“What do you want?”

Chan raised a brow, clearly not expecting any pushback. “Isn't it obvious? We're leaving.”

“That won't be possible,” another one replied icily, his hand reaching for his gun. “You need to first fill out a form and get it approved by the Slip Kid.”

“You're kidding?” Chan scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “You can't force us to stay here.”

Suddenly, a loud voice from behind said, “actually, we can.”

You snapped your head to look behind you, clearly taken aback. “Hyunjin? What the hell?”

The young man in question twirled a small dagger in his hand before getting a proper grip on it, looking you dead in the eye. “You see, we can't just let anybody leave this place. We have to make sure they'll actually survive out there on their own. And unless I want to be accused of being biased, I need to check for myself, don't you understand, sweetheart?”

You nearly shivered hearing the term of endearment fall from his lips. His tone was menacing and sly, nothing like the way he spoke to you for the past week.

“So unless you want this to get ugly, I suggest the four of your go back to your cabins.”

Your expression hardened as you reciprocated his intense glare. “Yeah, that's not happening.”

Turning back, your eyes immediately caught Chan's, the two of you sharing a nod. He knew what this meant—you wouldn't go down without a fight. Yellow Wood clearly wasn't the place the four of you thought it was.

A cheshire grin tugged at his lips as he cracked his knuckles.

“Give ‘em hell, darlin’!”

a/n: hello <3 tysm for reading this far. if you've enjoyed, please consider letting me know and reblogging. I've spent two months working on this fic (including the entirety of my summer break so far...). feel free to ask any questions too :3 sending you my best wishes and i hope you stay safe :>

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anniemika · 2 years

Text

What Goes Around - Chapter 3

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

Genre: Modern AU, Class Difference, Slow Burn, Angst, Smut, Fluff

Series Summary: Your life is what a lot of people would describe as their dream - constant parties, expensive gifts, fast cars, and money that can last you a lifetime. The facade is a pretty golden one, but underneath, the ugliness always threatens to crack, and you’re tired of trying to constantly prevent that from happening. That is why when you meet a certain 22-year old chauffeur, whose eyes can take all that tiredness away, you begin to re-evaluate every decision that has been made for you in your entire life.

Warnings: depression, anxiety, aggressive behavior, cheating, toxic relationships (family and other), cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of death, eating disorder, substance abuse, heavy drinking, trauma, casual sex, eventual smut (explicit sex; blowjob, handjob, cunnilingus, unprotected penetrative sex, rough sex, dub-con, creampie, corruption, choking, praising)

…..

Previous Chapter

Chapter summary: Your connection to the green-eyed boy becomes deeper when he rescues you yet again from your drama-filled life.

Words: 7.5k

…..

“You’ve been booked for 10 hours.”

No fucking way.

Eren’s body was frozen. Standing in the middle of the awfully quiet hospital hall, he was sure this was a dream. 10 hours? He’d never been booked for that long, ever. And as he read the last name of the client he was supposed to drive tonight, his heart began pounding. Because it was your surname written on the screen.

When he got back home with his mom after her doctor’s appointment, there were all kinds of thoughts passing through his mind. A mix of slight nervousness and excitement he couldn’t quite figure out. Well, the nervousness part he could, because what if he messed something up? Even though the job wasn’t particularly hard, he needed it so badly, he was always on edge that something bad might happen. Usually, he would try to fight the anxiousness away but sometimes it was too hard.

After he got the message about the booking, it was all he could think about. It even made him relax a little after the hospital, because at least he knew that 10 hours meant more money, and, well, he could buy more medication for his mom that way. Being a chauffeur for not more than a few months, he was still pretty new to the job, and, unfortunately, he didn’t get many clients. The company he worked for was one of the best in the city, and usually, they had enough experienced chauffeurs who knew most of their clients because they’d been driving them for years. And, even though he got the chance to work there because of one of his friends’ fathers who was also a chauffeur, it was tough to get selected by people when you were new. He was at the bottom of the app, his score wasn’t high because he hadn’t done many jobs before, and even as time went on, it didn’t get much better. It wasn’t the best situation given how much he needed the money, so without having much choice, he asked for extra work. He was the one who ran errands, kept the cars clean, made sure they were fuelled up, practically everything his higher-ups asked him to. The extra money wasn’t much, but still, it was better than nothing.

The night he came back home with a 500 dollar tip, he couldn’t believe his eyes. At first, he got nervous because it was too unusual. Who just tips 500 dollars? It was insane. Most of his other clients never tipped a lot, even though it was obvious they came from the “elite”. But, that didn’t erase the fact that the money was right there, in front of his face. He was so fucking happy, he wanted to burst into his mother’s room and tell her about it right away. He didn’t do that, but what he did do was fall asleep with a big ass smile on his face.

And now, as he laid in the comfort of his bedsheets, there was a peculiar feeling nestled inside his chest. He wanted to return the favour. Although, he had to be real with himself, there wasn’t much he could do to repay all the kindness you’ve gifted him. All he could do was wonder why? Why would you spend time on someone like him? Why were you so kind to him? Maybe you were just a really good person, even if your exterior looked hard. When you gave him the card with that doctor’s name displayed on it, his heart could’ve stopped. He would’ve never been able to book an appointment with someone of his stature, nor afford one for that matter. What you did with that gesture was give him hope. A thing he would never forget.

He lays on his back, eyes staring at the ceiling of his darkened room, focusing on a little crack on it. He can’t fall asleep, he’s tried for the past hour ever since he got home but his brain doesn’t allow him to. It’s filled with thoughts, too much thoughts as always, but he finds himself adding you to them tonight. Who’s he kidding, he had you in them ever since-

He almost jumps from his bed from the loud sound of his phone’s ringtone. The fear that it would get heard from the other room and wake his mother up settles in, so he quickly grabs it, cursing at himself for not lowering the volume before going to bed. He picks up before he can even take a look at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He catches the slight vexation in his tone, one that swiftly disappears when he hears the voice coming from the other line.

“Can you come pick me up?”

…..

A few hours ago.

So many people.

There are so many people in the room, it feels hard to breathe. Clutching to your purse while trying to move past the what feel like hundreds of men and women, you begin to feel your anxiety slowly but surely creeping up on you. It's like a poison, one that can’t kill you, but you know that eventually, it will leave you paralyzed. It starts pushing against your nerves, sending your brain signals that you shouldn't be here, that the air in the room’s not enough, that your fingers are already shaking.

Repeating to yourself that it’s going to be fine never really seemed to work in your favour, so unfortunately, you begin to search for the only thing that does help. Alcohol.

Pushing through to get to the bar of the restaurant, you hope you won’t run into your parents, or worse, him, when just like the universe’s law, you hear someone call your name from behind. It’s a male voice that you know quite well, and one that you’d preferred not to hear at all tonight.

You close your eyes and take a quick breath, then turn around with a sarcastic smile that suggests just how “happy” you are to see him.

“Hi, Poc.”

An ashy-blonde man stands before you, dressed shabbily in suit pants and a black button-up dress shirt, veiny hand on his drink, other one one inside his pocket. His hair is gelled back, and it’s annoying because it suits him and you can’t deny that it’s an attractive look. You can already see the formed smirk on his lips, his eyes a bit squinted as he takes in your attire and then rests his gaze upon your face.

“You’re gonna stay with that coat all night?”

“Why, wanna see what’s under it?”

You smirk back at him, although not in a flirty but in more of a challenging kind of way. And, because Porco Galliard never strays from a challenge, he comes a bit closer, his voice an octave lower but you still hear him when he says:

“When have I not?”

Here he goes again, you think. How do you even begin to explain the relationship you have with Porco Galliard. It’s interesting, to say the least.

You were in the same high school together, and he was on the football team along with your dear boyfriend, Reiner. Not cliche at all, one would think. What made it even more absurd, was that they couldn’t fucking stand to look at each other. And, of course, you were brought into the whole mess because Porco loved fucking with Reiner’s brain as he flirted with you any chance he got. You were with Reiner, so that meant you had to play dumb or ignore Porco’s attempts at swaying you off your feet, but that only got so far. When you found out about Reiner’s numerous endeavors, the first person you called was Porco. He fucked you 3 times that night. But, you knew him well enough to know he was no different than Reiner. The same playboy type of guy, who couldn’t wait to put his penis in anything with long legs and a tight ass. You didn’t need two of the same.

“I’m gonna order something to drink, so if you’ll excuse me-“

“We’re gonna play at that again?”

You were just about to walk away when the need to send him a piercing glare falls upon you, an unspoken signal to “back off”. Which, as you’re looking at his amused face, he ignores.

“You know, I saw you a couple of nights ago at that event. Do you remember?” He moves closer, same annoying smirk on his features, his amused eyes raking your body up and down, “Called out to you but you seemed.. distraught.”

Oh. So that was who called your name that night when you were running away from it all. Just your luck.

“Y/n, you don’t need to go through all that, y’know? I can give you everything he can.” He’s so close now, almost bumping into your chest.

“Oh, I’m sure you can give me exactly what he can.” The annoyance is more than visible on your face, feet moving a few steps back so he isn’t as close to you.

“I can give you even more than that. He’s a greedy bitch, your fiancé.” Porco let’s out a mocking laugh when he sees you flinch at the way he says the last word, “I’m not. I’m only greedy towards what’s mine.”

You don’t know if you want to roll your eyes, sigh, or just straight up slap him across the face. “Amazing offer, but I’ll have to decline. If you want to accompany me for a drink, however, you’re more than welcome to.” You gesture towards the bar, and after considering it for a total of two seconds, he nods his head in agreement. As annoying as it was to always have to put up with his unabashed flirting, he was better company than who you were expecting to bump into.

The bar’s full with different sorts of champagne bottles, but you need a drink so bad, you point at the first one you glance at, with the bartender pouring the sparkling liquid instantly. It’s a weird feeling, almost like deprivation that plays with your nerves when you tap your nails onto the marble counter, waiting to be served. Porco helps you remove your coat, and you feel his eyes linger a bit too long at the naked part of your back. You’re sure his eyes didn’t stay just there, either. You only notice how close he actually is when his hot breath hovers above the skin of your bare neck.

“Thanks.” You mutter before drinking the entire glass down in one gulp, “I’m going to go wish my cousin a Happy Birthday.” And with a wink, you pivot on your heel and disappear inside the crowd. Now, you know that maybe that’s not entirely fair, but it just feels too good to play with guys like Porco. Ones that think they own the world. Just thinking about how you left him staring at you with your coat still in his hands makes you chuckle.

Your anxiety’s a little better now, you make a note of that. It’s not ideal, but now that there’s some alcohol in your system, you know to relax even if it hasn’t affected you just yet. Maybe the way Porco was looking at you helped a bit too, like you were a full course meal just waiting to be eaten. Maybe you could let him fuck you tonight. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

You ask yourself this question as you snatch another champagne glass from a table you pass by, trying to catch the sparkling dress Historia’s wearing among all the people. The restaurant’s big, huge even, but it doesn’t take long to spot the crowd surrounding the birthday girl in question. She’s talking about something, her excitement and tipsiness evident as she‘a shouting and laughing for everyone to hear through the music. She’s looking like a princess, with a little tiara on her blonde head that sparkles just as much as her dress.

You’re almost in front of her when she spots you and her mouth falls agape, like she hasn’t seen you in years. “Cousinnn, where have you beeen!?” She throws her arms around you with her drink in hand and boy, she really is already drunk because she almost pushes you both to the floor, but thankfully, you’re quick to catch her and find your balance. Thank god you’re not as drunk as her yet.

“Happy birthday, baby cus’. I can see you’re having fun?”

She pulls away from you, wide beaming grin on her face, “Even more so now that you’re here! You look hot! That dress is stunning, let me see the back.” She takes your hand and swirls you around one time, showing you off to her friends while giving them smug looks, “And that’s why she’s my favourite cousin!”

“I’m your only cousin-“

“Let’s dance!” Her tiny fingers snatch your hand away as she leads you both to the dance floor, and you can’t help but feel happy when you’re with her. She was like a little sister to you, and even though she was spoiled beyond repair, she was definitely your most favourite person.

Dancing hand in hand, there’s a smile on your face, singing along the lyrics of the songs you’re sure she herself has hand-picked for the night. Your body sways to the rhythm, and you allow it to relax, to fall into its own little safe space. For a moment, you forget about Reiner and your parents, feeling happy you didn’t miss this and spent your time at home, alone. Maybe he wasn’t going to come along after all, because there was no sign of him or any of his friends. Maybe he actually felt guilty and had decided not to ruin another night for you. Just maybe-

“Happy birthday!”

Your body freezes in place when you hear the voice of the person standing behind you. Hands ball into fists when you smell the familiar cologne, and when Historia’s sky blue eyes go back and forth between you and the person in question, there’s a slight confusion on her face. Because yours looks like it could burst into flames any second.

All the people in front of your vision are looking past you now, their faces surprised, most of them gasping and placing their hands on top of their chests. Oh god.

And with a turn of your head, you see just the person you’ve been dreading to this whole past week. In all his glory, dressed in a jet black tuxedo and standing tall with his beautiful smile on display, is Reiner. He looks like a model out of a runaway, like Prince Charming himself, an epitome of what every girl dreams of. His eyes don’t move to yours just yet, even though you’re sure he’s acknowledged your presence. There are a couple of men behind him, two of them trying to hold the biggest bouquet you’ve ever seen in your life, and then a third one holding a present box bigger than your entire body. Of course, you think. He can’t not be the center of attention.

“Thanks, Reiner!” The blonde leaps into his arms and they share a hug, but before the attention could be brought onto you, your feet quickly lead you out of the scene. It’s a nasty feeling that comes over you, that of bitterness, regret, and animosity. You’d thought that it wouldn’t be that bad when you saw him, but it’s beyond whatever you imagined. And it brings you the feeling you despise most in the world.. that of feeling sorry for yourself.

Having someone have that much control over you and your emotions is like living in a prison. One that you handed the keys to yourself. That was the saddest part.

Thoughts about what you should have done eat at your brain, and you can’t stop them. You regret that you didn’t end things on the spot last time. Maybe at least you would’ve felt some sort of freedom, even if you knew he’d still show up tonight. You should have, after seeing him in that bathroom with his pants around his knees-

Cold air bruises your skin when you reach your destination - the terrace of the restaurant, where most people headed out to smoke. Nerves call for a cigarette, but unfortunately for you, your cigarette pack was inside the coat you left back with Porco. Shit.

Snatching your phone from your purse, your first instinct is to open the chauffeur app and dial Eren’s phone number immediately. And then, in the mix of it all, in the anger and the anxiousness, you catch yourself.

Your mother and father are here. Historia. Her parents. Her friends. Your friends. Everyone. And they all expect you to be here.

Fuck everyone else, it’s your baby cousins’ birthday.

And still, It’s more than evident that you don’t wish to be in the same space with that man. What are you expecting to happen, exactly? Another apology? Another confession of his “undying” love? Another manipulative attempt at making you seem like the crazy one?

Screw that.

Directly dialing the phone number provided from the app, you shake any thoughts about what the other people inside might think about your absence, when your phone sends another vibration, a tiny message box at the top of your screen.

Reiner

“We need to talk.”

Chills cover your body, and you’re not sure if it’s from the cold night air or from the simple fact that the need to disappear right this second is becoming as vital as the alcohol you need to consume. He wants to talk? At the party of your cousin’s 21st birthday? About what you saw him do not even a week ago?

A short, almost hysterical laugh fills the air as you put your phone back inside your purse. That’s not happening. He had a whole fucking week to do that. You re-enter the restaurant, ready to find Historia and excuse yourself from the party. Maybe it would’ve been a good idea to have told her about what had happened between you and Reiner before hand, but you didn’t want to bother her on her big day. Your only hope is that she would understand and then you could explain it to her later.

With quick steps, you begin to search for her yet again but this time you can’t seem to catch sight of her anywhere. You start looking for her friends, asking different people if they’ve seen her but to no luck. The space is even more crowded now, with people dancing and bumping into you left and right, until you move past someone who ends up gripping your wrist. And just by the touch of the person, you instantly know who it is.

You turn your head and lock contact with his hazel eyes, quickly removing his hand to continue walking in the opposite direction.

“Y/n”, his deep voice calls out to you, but you just keep walking, “Y/n, wait!”

He grabs you by your shoulders this time and you immediately push him off, finally acknowledging him with a burning rage in your eyes that would drive anyone to move a step back.

“Why hello, Reiner. What brings you around here?” You tilt your head with an ironic smile, the anger radiating off you, “Looking for another friend of mine you could fuck?”

“I..” He begins, watching you with something that looks like guilt in his eyes, but you know him better than that, “I know how it looked, but I swear, I was drunk and she dragged me in there-“

Your only option is to laugh, opting to walk away again, “You’re pathetic.”

“Don’t walk away from me.” He tries to sound stern, but you’re way past the point of fearing him. So, instead, you move closer, your provoking gaze visibly striking a nerve in him as his jaw ticks in response.

“And if I do?” Your eyes are ablaze, just waiting for him to do or say anything that would cross a line. But instead, you can see him fighting with himself inwardly, because the next words that come out of his mouth are in strike contrast to his balled fists and tense shoulders.

“I’m sorry.”

Those words again. Liars should be forbidden to speak them. The muscles on your face relax, your body does too, and then all he’s left with is an almost apathetic look on your face. “Oh.. you’re sorry. Wasn’t sorry when her mouth was wrapped around that pathetic thing between your legs, now were you?”

Reiner’s eyes widen, not expecting you to say the last words in a public place, where all the people around knew you both. He didn’t want a scene, but you, on the other hand, weren’t very repulsed by the idea. “Don’t push it.”

It’s exactly what you do, “Or what?” You hiss again, your face inches away from his,“What’re you going to do to me that you haven’t already, huh?” A few people around you begin to eye your interaction, and he notices, his panicked eyes moving back and forth between you and them, “Are you going to hit me?” You sneer, “Wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake.”

Reiner tries to hold your hand, your words appearing to stun him, “I would never.”

Pulling yourself away as if you would get burned if he was to touch you, you cast your eyes down, “I remember when you promised you would never cheat on me, but look at us now.” You try to swallow down the tears that are starting to form in the corners of your eyes, trying to remind yourself that you’re angry, not sad, but it’s becoming harder and harder by the second. You’re not going to let him win and see you break, though, you know that much, “Was it worth it, at least? Did she suck you off good? Or were you too drugged out to remember?”

That’s when he harshly grabs your wrist and nears your ear, bearing his teeth, “Keep your fucking voice down.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Now you’ve got people’s attention. You don’t realize how loud you‘ve been talking until you catch the eyes of the numerous guests who are whispering and giving you strange looks. You don’t care, though. You decide to end it on your own terms, moving away from him, your voice seeping with mockery, “Oh, amazing card by the way! I’ll make sure to burn it along all the others lies you’ve written me.”

For a tiny moment, you feel free. You feel like you can do anything, your heart pumping the adrenaline you got from putting him on the spot. Confidence oozes from your steps when you leave from the scene that had numerous people watching you with their jaws hanging low. It felt almost exhilarating. Your heels click against the floor as you opt to hide away from people’s sight and call Eren to come pick you up. You have a little smile on your face as you slip inside the women’s bathrooms, snatching your phone to dial the numbers that are going to save you from this hell of a place.

“What the hell was that?”

You should have known not be happy too soon.

“Are you insane?” Your mother appears in the mirror you were staring at just seconds before she burst in, her eyes blazing with fury.

Isn’t this fantastic. She must have seen it all.

You aren’t in the mood for any of her nonsense tonight, so you decide to go straight for the door.

“I can’t deal with this right now.” You’ve barely passed her when she wraps her hand around your wrist. You turn around and lock eyes with hers, balling your fists. “Let me go.”

She ignores you, “Do you have any idea how bad that looked?”

“I don’t care.”

“Of course you don’t. It’s your cousin’s birthday, for god’s sake! You just can’t help yourself, can you? Embarrassing us like this?” It’s something between a hiss and a whisper, the way she talks to you. It’s enough to make your face go red.

“Excuse me? I was trying to leave! And I bet she’s having fun somewhere, not everyone is obsessed with my relationship like you are.” The tone of your voice contrasts hers in that you’ve let go of any scruples you might usually have. It makes the colour drain off her face.

“You’re so irresponsible.” She let’s go of your hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. You think that if someone was to walk in she might have a heart attack.

“Do you even know what we said to each other? What happened?” You try. You really, truly try to see if she’ll even care enough to know. If she'll at least ask if you're alright when you tell her what you've been hiding all this time, “I saw him-“

“Spare me the details, okay? When are you finally going to learn to think before you do something!?”, she sends you an icy glare, and you're too dumbfounded to respond. Does she really not give a single care in the world? Everything stops for a moment, with you fighting the urge to cry. Even though you’re used to this kind of treatment from her, it still manages to sting after all that’s happened tonight.

“Where’s your ring?” Your mother breaks the painful silence, her stare on the hand you’re desperately trying to hide once the words register. With a hard swallow, you look down at your feet.

“I’m not wearing it.”

Another silence.

And then, with the disbelief painted in her words, “Are you breaking off the engagement?”

You shouldn’t say it. It isn’t the time, nor the place to tell her this, but you’re so enraged with her, that it comes out naturally.

“I am.”

Your hand lands on your cheek the moment hers leaves your face. It burns, but not so much with the sting it caused. The embarrassment is what drives a tear to spill from your eye. Your mother’s looking at you shocked, although you’re not sure if she understands the severity of what she’s just done.

You forget the coat, the party, everything. Your only objective is to leave this space.

You hear your mother repeatedly call your name as you rush by her and to the exit of the restaurant. It’s cold. So freaking cold, but still, you move. Your phone’s in your hand before you can register what you’re doing. It’s pressed against your ear when the ringing begins. The person picks up almost instantly.

“Hello?”

“Can you come pick me up?”

…..

You haven’t said a word to him, except to “drive.” He asked you where to, you said it didn’t matter. He asked if you’re okay, you ignored him.

So now you’re sitting in silence, with your eyes staring out the window. It’s snowing. The tiny flakes fall upon the cold glass, and you watch as they melt and become reminiscent of little teardrops. The radio is almost silent, but your thoughts are loud enough to fill the quietness.

You’re trapped again.

It was fun to act like you had control. To pretend like you have any say in what the future holds for you. Because you damn well know that if you want to get out of this arrangement, you’ll have to claw your way out of it.

Ding

Your phone reminds you you haven’t turned it off yet, so you take it in your hands, staring at the message sitting at the top of the screen.

Historia

“Where’d you gooo?”

Your lips turn into a thin line. You really wanted to be there with her tonight.

“I’m sorry for leaving, Hisu. I’ll explain everything next time. Happy birthday again.”

You quickly press send and then turn the device off. God, your head hurts. And you didn’t drink much, either. You’d much prefer if alcohol was the reason for your condition.

Your attention gets directed to the scenery in front of you. You can see snow surrounding the car, but none of the 20 store buildings that usually occupy your surroundings are visible. The road is empty, and it seems like you’re outside of the city. It’s pretty. Beautiful, actually. Tree branches are covered in white, with a blanket of snow slowly covering the ground. It’s falling so peacefully, you think it’s kind of comforting to watch. Taking a turn up a road you haven’t seen before, you turn your head against the window on your left, peeking up at the starlit sky. Silvery threads connect as you climb up a hill, coming closer and closer to its edge. Then, a stop. You look up ahead to see a lake beneath the pile of rocks you’re standing upon.

“Where are we?” Your voice is not much but a whisper, but he hears it.

“Well, you said to just drive, so-“

“I know what I said.” It’s way harsher than you meant for it to be. You need a smoke, bad, and it’s making you irritable again. Reminder, your coat’s not here. Fuck.

You sigh, and it’s loud enough to make the silence uncomfortable. Your hand is on the car handle, ready to open it. It’s probably 5 degrees outside but you don’t care, you need to get some fresh air.

“Miss, it’s really cold out, at least take my jacket.” He begins to undress himself, but you’re already out the door. “Miss-“

He hears a click, this time his door the one that’s being opened.

“Would you mind keeping me company?”

You’re standing before him, your arms wrapped around yourself, with tiny snowflakes caressing your skin, finding their place prettily atop your head and shoulders. His mouth falls slack. He hadn’t seen you in your dress tonight. When he left you at the restaurant, your coat was covering you up from head to toe, and when he picked you up not more than 30 minutes ago, he was inside the car, the foggy mirrors not allowing him the view that was you. He didn’t have the time to get out and open the door for you, you were already slamming it from the inside. You’d been waiting for him in the cold.

“No.”

You’re furrowing your eyebrows in confusion and disappointment when he realizes.

“I mean, I don’t mind.” He pushes the door open, with you taking a step back. Your eyes don’t meet, his stare at the pearly ground as he removes his black jacket. But yours is on him. His pretty face, to be exact. God, who made this guy? His thick brows are scrunched in concentration as he pulls his arm from one of the long sleeves, and it’s what makes you feel a little warmth on the cheeks. He’s so close, too. You swiftly turn around, trying to act unfazed by the proximity between you two. When the shuffling ends, suggesting he’s done removing the garment, you still don’t feel it around your shoulders.

“Uhm..”, you remind him of your presence and your almost naked self.

“S-sorry.” He’s stuttering, quickly fixing his mistake, wrapping you around in the fabric. In his mind, you can’t blame him for the delay, though. Your dress, your perfume, your barely covered back-

“How do you know about this place?”

The question sets his stare up ahead, into the deep blue lake. He clears his throat, moving a step forward so he can stand next to you.

“My.. father showed it to me when I was younger.” You notice the slight change of tone when he mentions his dad.

“It’s beautiful.” And that, it truly is. You’d never been here before. There’s a little bench at the edge of the hill, overlooking the vast waters and nearby woods. The moon is shining over the lake, casting its mystical spell. Its quite picturesque.

The boy next to you stands still, but when you turn to look at him, his gaze is set on the sky. He looks troubled and calm at the same time. You didn’t think that was possible.

“I’m sorry I was a bitch to you earlier.” You speak firmly, “It must be strange to you, one minute I’m helping you out, and the next I’m this.. arrogant asshole.”

He moves his eyes to you. His lips are slightly parted, as if he didn’t expect you to say anything remotely like this. Which, he truly didn’t.

After a small pause, he speaks lowly, “You’re not.”

“Yeah, don’t spare me.” You end the sentence with an ironic laugh.

“No, it’s true. I’ve had much worse clients.” He really meant for it to sound like a compliment, “I mean, not that you’re in any way bad-“

“Eren.” You look up at him, a knowing look on your face. He’s probably right, you can imagine the kind of insufferable jerks he’s had to drive around, but still, you feel bad about being rude to him. “I usually try to compose myself, but lately it seems that I’m getting worse and worse at it.”

Your eyes land on the ground, but Eren’s stay on you. You look so crestfallen, it strikes something in him. In his chest, if he has to be exact. It’s the weirdest feeling, because he barely knows you. He doesn’t know why you’re telling him this. He doesn’t know why you feel comfortable enough to share it. But, it’s what drives him to gather the courage and ask you a question he’d thought about for quite a lot in the last week since he’s met you.

“Miss, if it’s not too invasive, can I ask you something?”

You play with the edge of your heel, pressing it against the snow-covered ground, “Shoot.”

All of a sudden, he feels nervous. It’s not any of his business, he’s prepared you might think the same, and yet, he’s gone this far, he might as well ask, “Why were you so upset last time?”

To his surprise, you don’t flinch. You’re in the same position, your stare still on the sparkling ground, your pretty shoe drawing its imprint in it. Eren feels like his heart’s pumping way more blood than it should. Maybe it’s something really personal, why would you ever share it with him?

A sigh leaves your lips when you bring your head up, your attention on the fluffy snowflakes still falling from the sky.

“I’m supposed to marry this..”, asshole, narcissist, piece of shit, “how should I call him.. future “ceo” of sorts. We’ve actually been dating ever since we were 17. Which means.. 8 years now.” You laugh. “God, when I say it like that, it feels like an eternity. We were in the same high school and our dads have been friends since before we were born, so.. they kind of made it happen. Anyway, we were at this party for- I don’t even remember what, and I saw one of my friends sucking him off in the women’s bathrooms.”

Eren’s mute. He doesn’t know what to say, think, do. He just stays still, silent, his eyes wide. You look back at him, not at all surprised by his shocked face.

“Yeah.” Recounting it still sends a shiver down your spine. Or maybe it’s the cold, you’re not sure. “To be honest, I didn’t feel anything at first. I just sat there, looking at them as they panicked and began dressing themselves.” A sarcastic smile appears on your lips. “Apologising to me. It was so ridiculous, I wanted to laugh. But then, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I just.. I don’t know what happened. A panic attack maybe, who knows. I just knew I needed to get out of there as fast as I could.”

It’s the first time you’ve shared this ever since it happened. It lifts a weight off your shoulders, saying it to someone else, acknowledging the whole situation and how fucked up it all is. You’re used to most people being content with the mask you’ve painted over the ugliness.

“I’m really sorry.” His voice is low, like if it was the slightest octave higher, it could hurt you.

“Don’t be.” Your pride says. “It’s not like I’ve been faithful to him all this time. But I’ve never slept with one of his best friends, that’s for sure.”

“Then, why are you with him?”

This time, he’s the one who surprises you, not expecting a question like that. Although, it’s a pretty logical one if you have to be fair. You can’t tell him why. You don’t even want to repeat it to yourself. “Well, there are lots of reasons.” Fixing your posture, you look straight ahead with your head held high. “That I don’t feel comfortable discussing right now.”

The tone and atmosphere quickly reminds him that there’s still a line that should stay uncrossed. The slight distance you put between you two does the same.

“Yes, sure, of course.” He puts his hands behind his back, casting his gaze in the same direction you do.

It's quiet for a moment. Peaceful. And still, you can't help but feel the energy shift. You want the conversation to continue. Not about your.. situation, about anything but that. As strange as it is, you feel relaxed with this boy. He's.. He's got something about him. Well, the looks, he’s kind, sure, but also.. Something else. It makes you want to know more about him.

“How about you?” You ask, your tone softer than it was just seconds before.

He’s confused, looking back at you, “What about me?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” The corner of your lip turns upwards, with a little tilt of your head as you watch him under your curious gaze.

“No.” He’s quick with it, “I don’t really have the time for that.”

“Oh.” It figures, you think. He’s got more important things on his mind.

There’s a pause before he speaks again, with a little uncertainty you can’t miss, “There’s this girl back home.. we’ve been friends since forever. Nothing’s ever happened between us but she’s really dear to me.”

There’s something in the way he tells you this that is filled with a sort of heaviness. So there is someone. You’d be surprised if there wasn’t.

“Better that she’s back home then.” Eren’s lips part at your sentence, the bemused reaction on his face compelling you to chuckle. “I’m joking.” Not exactly, “Anyway, where’s back home?”

You begin to walk ahead, nearing the snow-covered bench at the top of the hill.

“Just outside the city.” Eren walks not too far behind you, “When I got into college I moved out here and then after my father died mom moved in with me.”

“What was your major?”

“Photography.”

“Really?” You set your eyes on him, a hint of surprise on your face, “How far did you get?”

“I was just about to enter my last year when I stopped.” He certainly doesn’t need to tell you why he stopped, you have a sense you already know.

“Do you still do it?”

“No.” His voice is quiet, “I haven’t in a while.”

You know that look, that tone. You’ve experienced it too. It’s a telling sign of a person who’s found something they love to do, but cannot do it because of circumstances. In your case.. because of permission.

“I have a degree in business, but I never truly wanted it. My parents did.” You begin, drawing Eren’s attention back on you, “I always wanted to study dance. I used to practice ballet, actually.”

An unconscious smile appears on your face, one that Eren notices. You haven’t spoken about this to anyone in years. It’s amazing how a person you’ve seen twice in your life can make you feel comfortable enough to share your past with. More precisely, a future within a past that was taken from you.

“What stopped you?” The boy asks, sounding truly interested.

“I had an injury and I quit a few months after that. My parents tell me it was for the best.”

“Why would they tell you that?”

“I don’t know. Their opinion, I guess. Never saw the appeal in becoming a dancer, I suppose.”

“Was the injury bad?” He moves a step closer to you, until you can smell his cologne. Sandalwood. You try not to get distracted.

“It wasn't something that would've stopped me in the long run. That's what the doctors said, at least. My parents didn't think so.”

“They encouraged you to stop doing something you love.” This time, he doesn't apologize. He’s firm with it, says it like a fact. And it sort of stings but you don’t get defensive over it. It’s the truth. If it wasn’t for them, you would’ve probably gone on to have a career.

“Yeah, well.. it’s a profession that can only last so long. I’m 25, so it’s too late for any of that now.” Your throat twists as the words spill out, and Eren observes the way your shoulders slump forward a bit. He unconsciously turns to face you, moving closer until there are just a few inches between you. He locks gazes, and you become entranced with the gleaming in his pretty jewel eyes. They look so kind, so.. out of this world.

“I don’t think it’s ever too late to do the things you love.” His voice is like honey, like an ointment for wounds. There's a small curve of his lips, one that you reciprocate. The tiny shapes of his hair dangle in front of his face, slowly swaying from the light wind. His hands are hidden inside his pockets, and he looks so casual.. it’s hot. Something’s definitely changed over the past 10 minutes because he doesn't seem as flustered as he usually is around you. You feel like you've taken that role now, staring up at him, admiring him, and hoping that he doesn't notice.

“That’s a nice way to think about it.” You whisper back, finally moving past him and in front of the little bench. Your heart’s pounding, and you feel like a school girl who has a crush- wait, what? You don't have a crush, what are you, 12? He’s just a really attractive guy with a really kind voice and an immensely beautiful smile. It’s just that.

It doesn't take long for him to find his place next to you, and you watch him with the corner of your eye, feeling the need to fill the silence, “Do you think you’ll do it again? Photography?”

He doesn’t answer right away, emerald eyes concentrated at something in the distance, “I don’t know. I’d like to think that I will.”

You must’ve really liked it, huh. “Well, I hope you do.” You exchange glances yet again, but this time, your eyes stay to linger for a bit longer. After a few moments, Eren nods.

“I hope you do, too.”

Silence comes to hang in the air once again. It’s a weird variety of feelings when you’re standing next to him. He makes you feel calm, like you can talk to him about things you otherwise wouldn’t even with your closest friends, even though you’ve seen each other only two times. Maybe that was what made it special. You both knew that this was between you and you only.

You steal a quick glance at Eren again, realising you should head back to the car when you see him shiver slightly from the cold wind.

“We should get back, you’re probably freezing. Sorry for asking you to stay out and taking your jacket.”

Eren puts his hand up in a protest, “No, it’s- don’t worry about it.”

A gentleman through and through, you think. You make your way to the car, casting one final peek at the breathtaking scenery. You have a feeling you’ll be back here.

You pull the car handle to the passenger’s seat, while Eren stops next to his door to look at you, raising a questionable brow.

“I’m going to sit at the front.” You say, answering his unspoken question.

He nods, his nose and cheeks red from what you suspect is the bruising night air, “Of course.”

…..

After the mostly silent ride to your house, Eren walks you up the stairs to the entrance doors with your arm tucked underneath his. Usually, being quiet after the conversations you two had tonight would suggest that awkwardness has settled in, but to you, that’s not the case.

“It was nice talking to you, Eren.” Your soft voice echoes through the air. You’re looking down at your sparkling heels but can feel Eren's stare is on you.

“You too, mi-“

“Y/n. Call me Y/n.” You told him your life story, might as well tell him your name.

“Y/n.” Eren repeats it like the letters are foreign to him, like he’s never heard them stitched together like this. It sounds.. nice, the way he utters them.

And when you bid your goodbyes, and turn from side to side in your bed for the rest of the night, the only word swirling in your brain is your name.. with his voice attached to it.

…..

Y/n’s butterfly dress🖤

A/N: I didn’t think writing this chapter would take me this long, but here you go. Sorry for the delay🥺we’re gonna get into some really interesting scenes on the next one…🫣 tell me what you think so far<3 OH, i have a tag list:)

Tag list:

@princess-jaeger @leave-rae-alone @littlemochi @udeens @aengelren @touyasfatcock @honeymilk01

#Eren Jaeger #Eren jaeger smut #eren yeager #Eren jaeger x reader #Eren #Eren smut #eren fluff #Eren jaeger fluff

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