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servantserah · 9 months

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That moment when your crush infodumps you about his favorite legend but he doesn't know that you're a demon and that he's actually talking about you. 😳

ℹ️ This is for my GoodGardenerAU. You can find a guide to all my Good Omens AUs and comics >>here<<!

#serahsart #serahsocs #goodgardenerau #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #good omens au #good omens #good omens fanart #ineffable husbands #ineffable godfathers

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itsscottiesstark · 2 months

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Nanny Ashtoreth holding 3 year old Warlock in her arms:

Nanny: Look, Warlock. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.

Brother Francis: *eyes her suspiciously*

Nanny: A king's time as ruler, rises and falls like the sun.

Francis: *opens his mouth to interject*

Nanny: One day, Warlock, the sun will set on our time here and will rise with you as the new king.

Warlock: And this will all be mine?

Nanny: Everything.

Francis: Are you- is- was that from Lion King?

Nanny, covering Warlock's ears: Hey, it's a good movie!

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innefableidiot · 2 months

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I desperately want to see what shenanigans brother Francis and nanny ashtoreth got up to at that time. Like I would legitimately pay to see that as a spinoff or something.

#good omens #good omens 2 #anthony j crowley #innefable husbands #crowly x aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley good omens #aziraphale #good omens3 #good omens crowley #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #warlock

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sushigilsrt · 2 years

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u cutie lil' angel.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #art #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #good omens fanart #aziracrow #crowly x aziraphale #I think I messed up aziraphale???#azirafell #anthony j crowley #warlock #ineffable lovers

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casimirt · 8 months

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CAN WE PLZ HAVE MORE INEFFABLE HUSBANDSSSSS? Maybe like a silly little goofy one if you havent done that already?

Hahah for sure, I'm so happy people are enjoying these!

Dear Readers,

This one is called The Nanny.

The young master Warlock was an unusual child. Not because he was the son of Satan, or the son of an American diplomat, but because he was raised by his gardener and his nanny.

The pair in question went together as well as oil and water, and often confused the poor lad to the point of a tantrum. But, he was loved, and fed, and kept alive nonetheless.

Nanny Ashtoreth was a harsh woman, in both looks and attitude. Her tall, slender form often reminding Warlock of a spider. And Brother Francis the gardener, who he often caught staring at Nanny, said they should respect all living creatures. Even the arachnids.

Nanny was also a classy woman, and would often remind him of such. She wore long dark dresses, even darker shades and often had a hint of red somewhere on her outfit. She did however like to mingle with 'the lower class' as Warlock was told, and she spent a fair amount of time teasing and whispering with Brother Francis.

He was a stout man with somewhat of an unfortunate face. But as he would tell you, it's what's on the inside that counts. Nanny Ashtoreth said you could find out if that's true, by cutting someone open. Warlock had never liked that idea much, and neither had Brother Francis.

Warlock, like many young children, had a lot of questions about life and about love. He was often sat between Nanny and Brother Francis, who would give him sage advice on their two opposing views of the world. It typically started with a bit of light teasing and flirtation, and ended with Nanny hissing and Francis trying not to swear. If he was honest with himself, he had his suspicions that they secretly liked each other. So secretly that they'd rather chew a cyanide capsule or have their teeth pulled before they admitted it. But, deep down, deep, deep down they had some strong connection.

Most days the three of them would walk the gardens together, discussing the literal birds and bees; and in one awkward occasion, the metaphorical. Over the years Warlock was privy to the slow but budding romance between his two mentors. From the flowers Brother Francis would grow and then pick, to the cookies and cakes Nanny Ashtoreth would bake. Needless to say they were an odd couple, but a sweet one all the same.

As the young son of Satan, and son of an American diplomat grew, he became more aware of and more meddlesome in their relationship. Often acting as cupid or some other romantic messenger between them. From passing notes, to 'parent trapping' them when the situation allowed.

Once he even got them to sit through a full date before they realised just what it was. Warlock had said he'd meet them both under the willow tree and upon the picnic blanket for lunch. It was only after they had eaten half the food shared the bottle of wine, that they had realised this lunch was not intended for a 9 year old boy.

Nanny had given him a stern telling off and a slap on the wrist after that little stunt, and Brother Francis and stood there hands on hips as she did so. Hmm, perhaps allowing them to get close and gang up on him wasn't a good idea after all. It was a while before he tried to set them up again, and this time he planned to be more careful about it.

The opportunity presented itself when a painter came to give the pool house a fresh coat of paint, and allowed young Warlock to help. This meant Nanny Ashtoreth had to be outside to supervise, and it then meant Brother Francis wouldn't be far behind.

The painter was about a quarter way through the job before he started paying Warlocks' Nanny a fair bit of attention. She was sat on the garden wall, with a black lace parasol shielding her from the sun. Warlock was busy on the far side of the pool house, writing crude words in white paint. Brother Francis, who had spent the past half hour trimming the same hedge, was watching with a scowl upon his face.

Being a tall, dark and mysterious woman, Nanny often caught the eye of many gentlemen that visited the estate. So much so it rather bothered Brother Francis, and he always made sure to have an excuse as to why he was hanging around.

Warlock, now bored of his painted profanities decided to stir the proverbial pot. He glibly mentioned to the gardener that the painter had a crush on the nanny, and that it might well be reciprocated...

Bradley, as the tradesman was named, had complimented Nanny multiple times on her clothes. Including her darkened sunglasses covering most of her face. She was a severe looking woman, but that was just what Bradley liked. He had liked it even more when she had abruptly, and rather rudely, shut him down when he suggested she remove said glasses to show him her face. Something about the hissed tone to her voice told him he had better drop the subject. Bradley had continued painting and Nanny had continued watching. So did Brother Francis.

Brother Francis in his distracted and flustered state, accidentally trimmed more than he intended off the hedge in front of him. He composed himself, as to not make any more mistakes, and turned to young Warlock.

"Young master Warlock, of course the painter likes Miss Ashtoreth! She's a very-"

He paused and thought carefully about what to say next. After all, he couldn't have his young charge knowing how he really felt! The young charge in question didn't need words to know how Brother Francis really felt.

"-Captivating woman. And it's not up to me to tell her who she should or shouldn't talk to."

He then muttered something under his breath about wishing it wasn't the painter, of all people. Collecting up the flowers he had accidentally cut from the hedge in his frustration, he tied them in a red ribbon that seemed to come from thin air.

With a pat on the head and the promise of payment later, he handed them off to Warlock to deliver. The dark haired boy made a b-line for his Nanny Ashtoreth, who seemed bored by the painter's constant nattering. She didn't much care for uninteresting conversation. And, if she was going to accept praise and flattery from anyone, she'd rather it be from the gardener...

Warlock ran up to her and dropped the bundle of neatly tied flowers in her lap, earning a curt smile. She already knew who they were from, and she already knew why. Shooing the child away, she carefully drew a single flower from the bunch and tucked it behind her ear. Thankfully the shade from her parasol masked the colour of her crimson cheeks.

#fem!crowley #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #good omens fandom #aziraphale x crowley #good omens #ineffable idiots #ineffable partners #ineffable husbands #crowley and aziraphale #good omens 2 #ineffable #idiots in love #renew good omens #warlock #good omens fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic

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onehalfofawholeidiot · 2 years

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I've seen a few posts that mention/imply it's odd that Crowley became the Nanny while Aziraphale became the Gardener. (I will give it to them that Crowley is the one with a luxurious potted garden in his flat. But that is implied to have started in the 1970s. Can you imagine him yelling at the plants out in the garden at that Offical London Residence for the Dowling family?)

My take on this is that it makes perfect sense Crowley became the nanny. It is Crowley that looks appalled and even distressed that the children are getting killed in the Flood in Mesopotamia. Crowley. The demon. Would never kill kids. He's the one that actually loves kids. He's the one that sat and let some little child hands braid his long hair before the Flood. He's the one that probably justified saving a group of whatever children he could grab and secreted them away to the depths of the Ark because it was contrary to heaven's plan that they all die. ('Yes, my dear, you are such an evil wily serpent. You surely bested us this time.' - Aziraphale, with a soft smile.)

#good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #ineffable husbands #Nanny!Crowley #Gardener!Aziraphale #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #my musings

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comicallybadwriter · 1 year

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should write smthn about warlock and crowley since they are iconic tm

They absolutely are! Baha the nanny and toddler duo we never knew we needed.

It's a little bit longer than I anticipated but I hope you like it <3

Crowley was standing under one of the larger trees in the backyard of young Warlock's home. He was only resting for a moment, taking in the cooling shade that shooed the suns UV rays away. It would do nothing for his complexion as a nanny, and he certainly didn't want the hellspawn smacking him where there was a sunburn.

And there he was, the little antichrist; running around the yard playfully with a plastic sword in hand. A smile brightened along his face and mud splayed up against his trousers.

Oh, how Aziraphale would have a field day whining about his clothes later in the day.

"Nanny!" Warlock ran over to Crowley, and he hummed in response to the toddler, waiting for the question or statement that came from him. "Come play knights!"

"Oh no, darling. I'm not much of a knight."

"Then... you can be the princess!"

Crowley chuckled softly, agreeing to Warlock's game after a moment more of thinking it over. "Oh, but who will you be protecting me from?"

"Uhm-" Warlock looked around, not batting an eye at the other housemaids or butlers that were stationed all over the place, and instead took Crowley by the wrist and pulled him over to where Aziraphale was tending to a garden.

Crowley's glasses nearly fell off his face.

"Brother Francis will be the... the dragon! He's dangerous and- and he'll eat you! So I'll have to rescue you." Warlock seemed quite pleased with his game plan, even if it was the first time Aziraphale had heard of it.

Aziraphale looked at Crowley, who was collecting himself rather quickly, in hopes that no one had noticed him lose composure. "You heard the hellspawn, Francis. Time to dragon up."

Crowley winked back at Aziraphale, earning a flustered pink shade to cross his face, then disappear into the sun when he laughed and stepped towards the toddler and nanny.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to eat the knight first. If he's the one protecting such a beautiful princess." Aziraphale smiled playfully, and Warlock- who was supposed to be the brave knight- booked it back to Crowley, and hid behind his skirt with a loud squeal.

There was a chuckle from Aziraphale and a contempt sigh from Crowley before he picked Warlock up and draped him over his shoulders. "I say we both get him. Lock this dragon up for good."

Laughter echoed across the yard as both Crowley and Warlock chased down Aziraphale back and forth.

Oh, how much fun it would be if the world wasn't going to end.

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sages-stolen-grapes · 10 months

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AHHHH 23 DAYS LEFT‼️‼️‼️‼️ I can’t wait bro :(

I am a firm “Warlock knows they’re in love” believer.

Also this trend is so old but it was too perfect not too <3

PLS DONT STEAL THIS I WILL CRY TEARS INTO A BOTTLE AND THEN MAIL IT TO YOU

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens art #good omens comic #brother francis #nanny ashtoreth #ashtoreth x francis #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #azicrow #ineffible husbands #ineffable godfathers #fanart

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fellshish · 8 months

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I subscribe to the gaimanian school of thought that there are four distinct love stories in good omens: aziraphale x crowley, brother francis x nanny ashtoreth, the angel of the eastern gate x the black knight, and fell the marvelous x bildad the shuhite

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands

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captainfantasticalright · 19 days

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An Ineffable Timeline of costumes:

I had done this previously in separate posts, but I did want to keep the timeline in order (the mess was bugging my brain). Well mostly in order, I had to switch up Golgotha and Land of Uz so that they could fit better.

So, hello again! (or for the first time). I gathered every official source detailing the costumes for s1 and s2. From interviews with Claire Anderson, lead costume designer for season 1 to Kate Carin, lead for season 2.

Some things of course I was not able to put here because there was nothing official confirming or describing the costume choices.

Some extra bits:

Something I did not add here from the X-ray section of GO2, was that Kate Carin mentioned that Aziraphale’s detective look in episode 3 was a sort of “Noir Detective”. But not much else was said about how it came to be, except for the obvious raincoat and hat and case he is carrying. She also talked about rhinestones being glued to Aziraphale’s magician cape in his act in 1941. But that is a fairly noticeable detail as well (I believe) so I did not add it here.

Some very important things to keep in mind:

Nanny Ashtoreth in the book is never directly alluded to be Crowley. There have been debates about this, and that is why I included in the slide of “Brother Francis” the reply Neil gave addressing exactly that. For the TV show, it was decided that both Nanny/ Brother Francis were going to be Crowley and Aziraphale (radio omens too). For the book, well you can read it/ see by yourself that even though one nanny showed up, it is never said to be Crowley.

I had read some tags previously saying “this is not accurate” “this is not this” etc. so just a gentle reminder that the costume department is not here to make things 100000% accurate. Claire Anderson and Kate Carin both had the creative freedom to craft attires and make them believable for the time period. I collected all the sources (below) if you want to read them yourself. This is about experimenting and giving it credibility without it being down to a T.

Some arrows are not specifically pointing to a specific thing. They are there to guide you find what is in the text.

The Sources:

Ineffable Con

SYFY Claire Anderson

SYFY 2

Claire Anderson Costume Designer

Film School Rejects Claire Anderson

RadioTimes- Hair

YouTube Kate Carin interview

Youtube Wrap Party Podcast

Including the behind the scenes videos from Prime “Biblically Good” and “Grave Danger”.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #good omens fun facts #good omens 2 #easter eggs #good omens costumes #claire anderson #kate carin #timeline of costumes #only aziraphale and crowley #i will do one for the other characters

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lsd-astronaut · 2 months

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Hello!! I hope you don’t mind me asking but could you do a fluffy Crowley x Demon!reader x Aziraphale fic (or headcanons)??

Maybe something like what it’s like all being in a relationship together?

(Also if it’s not too much to ask can the reader use a cane to walk around? Maybe because of something relating to when they fell and became a demon? If not that’s okay!!!)

First of all, I love you and I could kiss you in the mouth right now. I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR AGES THAT CROWLEY WOULD HAVE CHRONIC PAIN BC OF THE FUCKING FALL. I refuse to believe for one moment that you can fall all the way from Heaven, land on the ground and be all “hey guys i’m fine!”

Aziraphale x Demon!Reader x Crowley

Please like and reblog<3

Warnings: chronic pain, but nothing else, this is just good old fluff

• You were an archangel along with Crowley, with the same obligations in making the cosmos✨ so you both met Aziraphale at the same time

• When Azi told you both that the project was destined to close in a few thousand years, you were the one that proposed to fill a complain to God (and crowley seconded you)

• Cue a war and a Fall later, Crowley and you are in Hell, but in different departments so you don’t see each other much

• In fact, you didn’t see Azi and Crowley for the first time since the Fall until the crucifixion of Jesus

• You stood beside them in silent reverence to this poor soul lost for all of humanity

• “What sort of mother would wish this fate upon her own kin?” Crowley and Azi turned to you with confused expressions (although Crowley gained a lot of respect for that comment hehe)

• After some idle conversation, and Crowley convincing Aziraphale not to just smite you right there and then, you three decide to traverse the world

• Centuries pass, and Crowley and you stay around humans (you love their way of living, and he likes children so everyone wins)

• You like to read everything you can get your hands on, to Crowley’s chagrin

• “Now I have two bookworms. What have I done to deserve this?”

• It’s circa the year 1000, in the new continent that these curious people called Vikings have discovered, when Crowley and you decide to experiment a human thing that you had wanted to try for a long time

• Your first kiss is messy, and there are more teeth than anything else; besides Crowley insists it feels slimey

• However, she can’t help but to accept he got a bit aroused by it

• Practice makes better, as they say, and so you do

• Although you spend the most time with Crowley, your relationship with Aziraphale also evolves throughout the years

• The “we have a mutual but I still don’t like you” to “maybe I do care about you” pipeline, if you want

• You take him to all kind of food places and bookstores, and he warms up to you a lot

• Introducing him to classical music was your proudest moment, and also the pettiest as Crowley had crossed you a bit beforehand

• The first time you kiss Aziraphale (or rather, he does), is one time you both were a bit tipsy during a masquerade ball in Paris in the 18th century

• He is a bit unexperienced but he gets the hang out of it really quick

• The three of you “confess” to each other in 1941, after the magic show fiasco

• Crowley looks nonchalant but you can see behind his eyes, he was worried sick he would be separated from both of you

• You make sure to give him extra cuddles that night

• Fast forward to 2008 and you work in Warlock’s house along with Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis, you being Warlock’s governess (like this is the fucking 1800s or smth lmao)

• It is at this time that the two of them notice you limping a bit every day after all chores have been done

• You insist that it is nothing and that you are perfectly capable of walking

• However, Ashtoreth happens to see you during one of your bad flares

• She immediately helps you to sit down on the bed, and looks at you expecting an explanation

• Her no-nonsense glare deters you from making up an excuse so you tell her the whole truth

• When you had fallen, you hadn’t landed correctly and had broken your legs on impact

• Miracles hadn’t done the full job and so you had been forced to endure the pain of the bones repairing themselves not quite right

• You had learned to mask the pain after centuries of practice but some days were just worse than others

• The next day, Ashtoreth gifts you a cane adorned with a snake head with little wings

• You proudly use it every day forward

• After the Second Coming, the three of you go to live in South Downs, finally able to be yourselves together

• There is still so much stuff to learn about everything, but you’re immortal and you are not alone, so why the hurry?

• As the sun sets on the horizon, you lean your head on Aziraphale’s shoulder as he reads one of Jane Austen’s books, and Crowley’s head is on your lap, already snoring softly

• You will be okay

I just wanted to say, I’m sorry if this is not what you asked for exactly as it is my first time writing for these two and I haven’t written either in two years so I feel I’m very rusty. I forgot ab the chronic pain until almost at the end, and I talk more about the history of you relationship than the actual relationship in itself lmao

Still, I hope you like it!

#good omens #good omens x reader #good omens fanfiction #good omens headcanons #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #aziraphale x reader x crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x reader x aziraphale

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servantserah · 2 months

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Can you give us some snake Ash arts?

Have these two drawings I made in 2021 that I don’t think I've ever shared before? I need to draw more snake Ash 🥺

(Also sorry for disappearing ahsjsn i've been really busy irl. I'll catch up on asks over the next few days!)

#serahsart #goodgardenerau #ggau #serahtalks #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #nanny ashtoreth #snake ash #brother francis #good omens au #good omens fanart #good omens

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winterskywrites · 5 years

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Warlock Dowling is not an idiot.

He may only be six years old, but he has eyes. (He heard his mother say that to his father in one of their arguments recently, and he rather likes the sound of the phrase.) He can see things. He’s not an idiot.

And that’s how he knows Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis are in love.

Nanny Ashtoreth’s face goes a funny color when he tells her that, and she makes a strange noise that sounds like “ngk” before she asks, voice a little wobbly, “What makes you think that, dear?”

“You look at each other like you’re in love,” Warlock explains. “You smile at Brother Francis, like this.” He tries to mimic the soft, loving smile that’s always on Nanny’s face when she’s looking at Brother Francis and thinks no one is looking at her. “And you talk to him like you’re in love too. You don’t call Brother Francis stupid, and you don’t tell me to crush him underneath my heels.”

“Well-”

“And Brother Francis looks at you like this, when you’re not looking,” Warlock adds, and he does his best to mimic the fond, tender look that’s always on Brother Francis’s face when he’s looking at Nanny and thinks no one is looking at him. “And he told me to have love for all living creatures, and I said ‘even Nanny?’ and he said ‘especially Nanny.’”

Nanny stares. (She may have her sunglasses on, but Warlock can tell she’s staring anyway.) Warlock looks up at her smugly. “And I’ve seen you going into his cottage at night,” he adds. “Cause you’re in love.”

After a long moment, Nanny kneels down in front of him. “You may not be entirely wrong,” she admits. “But let’s keep this our little secret, alright?”

“Alright,” Warlock agrees easily. Then he stops, frowns, and asks, “Can I have ice cream, if I keep it a secret?”

Nanny laughs and stands, taking Warlock’s hand. “Yes, little hellspawn, you can.”

Warlock skips along next to Nanny as they head to the kitchen. Nanny and Brother Francis are in love, he figured it out all by himself, and now he’s getting ice cream. Life, he decides, is good.

(And maybe, when Nanny and Brother Francis get married, Warlock will get to be in the wedding!)

#warlock dowling #crowley #go crowley #anthony j crowley #nanny ashtoreth #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #good omens #my writing #ficlet

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

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Good Omens one-shot - “The Haunting of Warlock Dowling” (Rated M)

Summary: Warlock Dowling thinks his house is haunted. So he investigates, using a digital recorder to try and capture an EVP. He manages to record something he thinks might be one.

Nanny, however, strongly disagrees. (1454 words)

Notes: Just a random re-write for Halloween :) Warning for implied sexual content.

Read on AO3.

“Nanny! Nanny! Wake up! I have something I need to show you!” Warlock races full tilt down the hall, sliding across the polished wood floor in socked feet while imagining that he's James Bond, escaping the clutches of rogue agents by snowboarding down the Alps amid a hail of gunfire.

He throws open the door to Nanny Ashtoreth's room and flies onto her bed, climbing up her lumpy mattress to find her already awake and scrambling to put on her dark glasses.

“Warlock!” she snaps in surprise. “What have I told you about running in the house? And barging in without knocking?”

“I’m sorry, Nanny! But I had to come tell you straight away! I got one! I really got one!”

“Got one what, my little love?” Ashtoreth asks, intrigued. The last time Warlock said those words, he came bounding into the kitchen, covered in head-to-toe mud, and carrying something Nanny Ashtoreth could only describe as furry, squeaky, and highly annoyed.

Luckily, it wasn’t rabid.

Nanny wasn't too thrilled about getting her gown filthy, but the reaction of Warlock’s mother to the wretched beast made the whole encounter much more delightful.

“An EVP!” he announces proudly, holding up the digital recorder he’d gotten on his last birthday. “I was right! I told you! Our house is haunted!”

“Are you certain?” Ashtoreth asks, a concerned look on her angular face.

Warlock beams with confidence as he shakes the recorder inches from her nose. “Oh, absolutely! I listened to it five times! It’s definitely an EVP! It sounds exactly like the ones I heard on YouTube!”

“Now, Warlock - what did I say about watching videos on YouTube without my express permission?”

“Sorry, Nanny.” Warlock deflates, his excitement considerably dulled. “But I had to! I needed help gathering evidence! Everything I know about ghost hunting, I learned from the Paranormal Plumbers!”

“With a name like that, I'll bet they’re American, aren’t they?” Nanny grumbles, struggling to sit up straighter on the bed. “Why again, is it, that you believe this house is haunted? As far as I know, no one has ever died here.”

Nanny, in fact, knows that for sure. If there was a troublesome ghost lurking about, she would have dispatched it straight away. She doesn’t need anyone or anything interfering with her raising the Antichrist … the gardener, Brother Francis, notwithstanding.

Nope. This house is neutral - supernaturally speaking.

“I told you before, Nanny,” Warlock begins with a shake of his head. Why is it that adults never seem to remember the important stuff after he tells them half a dozen times? He’ll never understand. Aren’t they supposed to be smarter than him? Isn't that why they're in charge? “A few weeks ago, I heard moaning after everyone was asleep. It sounded like a soul in pain. Horrible pain! Like they were being tortured! Their eyes torn out of their skull and their intestines …”

Nanny puts up a hand to shush him. “Okay, okay. I get the gist.” Normally, she would love to sit and listen to him ramble on about the grotesque goings-on inside his tiny brain. But there are other, more pressing matters at hand. Warlock needs to be ready for school in an hour. And Nanny Ashtoreth needs to check in with the head office.

They need to move things along.

“Anything else?” she asks.

“I saw a large, shadowy figure walk past my room late at night. The floorboards creak and the lights flicker on and off when they shouldn’t …” Warlock pauses, but when Nanny doesn't invite him to continue, he sighs. As much as he's trying to get Nanny excited about his discovery, her face remains blank.

She looks uncomfortable.

He had hoped his nanny would be eager to examine his evidence. But she’s just sitting there, on her lumpy mattress, with the covers wrapped around her, looking anxious.

Like she’d rather be anywhere else.

“You don’t believe me,” he says grumpily.

“I didn’t say that,” Ashtoreth says, shifting her weight away from the lumpiest of the mattress lumps. “I’m simply trying to digest all that you’ve told me. It’s a lot to think about, my dear.”

Warlock nods glumly, his eyes dropping to his nanny’s tartan quilt. He’s never seen this quilt on her bed before. It’s lumpy, too. In that way, it matches her mattress perfectly. Warlock starts poking at one particularly squishy lump, his once shiny smile well and truly tarnished.

“Here …” She grabs the boy under his arms and lifts him onto her lap. “Why don’t we listen to your recording, and I’ll tell you what I hear?”

His grin returns times one thousand. "Okay!" he says and presses play. They both sit stone still and listen.

With any luck, he recorded himself snoring, Nanny thinks. Or talking in his sleep. Something that would be easy to explain in a way that would neither frighten nor disappoint an inquisitive eight-year-old. The last thing Nanny wants to do is discourage him.

But if Warlock did find evidence of some long-dead ghost who’s been popping by after hours, she’ll need to get herself a summoning circle.

Because someone has some explaining to do.

According to the counter on the recorder’s display, whatever Warlock heard starts at over two hours in. Warlock goes to bed at 8, so that would make this around 10 something. Nanny would have still been up, but she doesn’t recall hearing anything out of the ordinary at that hour.

The loudest noise in the room (per the recording) is the inhale-exhale of Warlock sleeping, and it makes Nanny smile. But not long after, another noise starts. It’s muffled, intermittent. To the untrained ear (and through several walls and closed doors) it does sound very ominous, like the notes of a sustained and painful cry rising up from the depths of Hell.

But to someone who knows exactly what they’re listening to, it’s clear as crystal. Nanny’s eyes grow wide behind her glasses, and she grabs the recorder out of Warlock's grasp.

“Uh ... that’s enough for now, Warlock, dear,” Ashtoreth says, turning it off.

“So what do you think, Nanny? Do you think I caught a ghost?”

“You caught something, alright,” Nanny mumbles. She stares at the recorder, unsure of what to do. "You know what, my love?” she says, helping Warlock off the bed and onto the floor. “Let me get up and get dressed. I would like to bring this to Brother Francis to have a listen.”

“You’re not going to erase it, are you?” Warlock gasps, worry scrunching his nose, creasing his brow.

“I won't,” Nanny promises. “I just want his opinion on the subject. You trust Brother Francis, don’t you?”

“I do, Nanny,” Warlock replies.

“Good. Then off you go. Get ready for school. I’ll be along in a moment.”

“Yes, Nanny.” Warlock rolls up onto his tiptoes to give Nanny a peck on the cheek, then hurries away, walking at a much safer pace back to his bedroom.

Nanny Ashtoreth waits until she hears Warlock shut his door. Then she rewinds the recording and presses play.

It’s not the moan of some faceless spectre haunting their halls.

It’s Brother Francis, moaning in the farthest thing from pain.

Ashtoreth kicks at the lump wedged between her legs beneath her blanket. “You daft angel!” The lump wails in agony, shimmying out from underneath, rubbing a sore spot on his belly. “You need to be more careful sneaking in here! And lock the bloody door next time! We're both lucky I still had my nightgown on! We'd've been sacked for sure!”

“I know, my dear. I know." Francis snaps his fingers, locking the door - too little too late seeing as they won't be going back to what they were doing moments ago. "But sometimes I forget. I just can’t help myself where you’re concerned."

"That's quite understandable," Ashtoreth says, breathing in deep, trying her hardest to quell what had almost been an earth-shattering start to her day.

"Young Master Warlock has some sharp knees," Brother Francis remarks, massaging the back of his neck as he watches Nanny Ashtoreth climb out of bed and get her uniform for the day assembled. "What are you going to do about the recording? You promised not to erase it. And you can't go back on yer promise. You'd break his heart."

"I know, I know ..." She had toyed with the idea of making the moans sound more like Mr. And Mrs. Dowling, but she can’t remember the last time those two were intimate. “I’m just going to make it sound like a genuine ghost,” she says, snapping her fingers. “It'll be easier to explain. And a lot less traumatizing.”

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable idiots #ineffable lovers #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #brother francis x nanny ashtoreth #crowley #aziraphale

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asphodelsandpomegranates · 5 years

Text

The Peculiar Affair of the Nanny & the Gardener (Aziraphale x Crowley & Reader)

(A/N) Artwork does not belong to me I couldn’t find a gif of both of them as Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth. I found this on Pinterest, if anyone has a link to the artist please let me know and I’ll put in a source.

You had been working as a maid for the Dowlings for a short while. Apparently, they had a son who at the time had been only four. You had found young Warlock to be a sweet boy, a little naïve, but sweet.

About a year later, you heard from Thaddeus Dowling's chauffeur that the boy was to have a new nanny, and also that a gardener was to be hired. It had been a huge and double surprise that the nanny was...nothing like you'd expected. You had expected someone who was very much like a teacher, not a gothic looking Mary Poppins. Nanny Ashtoreth looked strict but really laid back. She had odd teachings, let's get that right. You'd overheard strange topics, in the library one day, such as Armageddon, torture and misery. At the time you'd shrugged it off, thinking nothing of it but then you heard the chatter again and thought maybe it was best to speak with Warlock's mother about it.

You didn't.

When you saw the gardener, you couldn't help but be astounded by the look. He looked like something out of a Jane Eyre novel or that he had somehow time travelled from the 1800's or early 1900's. Unlike Nanny Ashtoreth, the gardener, Brother Francis, was absolutely charming. So polite. He got along with Warlock very well as you'd seen them talking out in the gardens like he was a mentor. In the staff house, he was always found chatting with the other staff members at the home. One member of the staff that Francis seemed to get along with, surprisingly, was Nanny Ashtoreth.

There were a few moments where you had spotted them together in a corner of the room, talking in hushed tones. Several times you were sure that they were quite intimate. Almost as if in the short time they'd been working in the Dowling Household, they'd become an item. You found it sweet. One time, you spotted from an upstairs window the two of them conversing once again as they and Warlock sat outside. Then out of nowhere Francis pulled out a bunch of flowers and handed them to the nanny. She had taken them with pink cheeks, sniffing them. After a minute or three of them looking at one another in pure admiration, Francis excused himself and got back to work. Later on, the bouquet was found on a mantle piece, wilted and dry.

Seven months after Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth's employment, you had agreed to go on an errand for the cook. You had just arrived on the premisis and on your way to the kitchens. You had just closed the door from the back when you heard voices.

“...so, do you think we have a chance in getting away with this?” asked a voice.

“I sure hope so, angel.” answered a second voice. “A little while longer and one more report to them and we'll be laughing.”

“Good. And that means we can sweep this whole thing under the rug. No more 'End of the World' stuff and we can get back to doing what we were doing before.”

You felt goosebumps crawl along your skin. Did one of them call the other 'angel'? And what the fuck did they mean by the end of the world?

You shuffled a little further to the voices and peered round the corner. Your eyes widened in recognition as you saw Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth standing close together by the stairs that led to the upper floor.

Who were these people?

The second voice, Nanny Ashtoreth, chuckled. “Don't you mean 'get back to whom were were doing?”

Brother Francis, owner of the first voice, blushed darkly. “I don't know what you mean.”

“Sure you don't, angel. By the way you were screaming my name the other night, I'd say you do know.”

“C-Crowley...not now, dear.”

Your heart leapt at this. The sudden thought of the two of them lying naked in a lush bed, sweat gleaming on their skin, red rose cheeks and panting from a post orgasmic...

You shook your head free of those thoughts. Now was not the time to be thinking of your fellow colleagues in a such a fashion!

If these two men weren't a nanny or a gardener, just who were they?

“Crowley, please.” said 'Brother Francis'. “Anyone could walk in at any moment.”

Looking round again, you saw that – Crowley? – had backed 'Brother Francis against the wall and was staring at the white blonde male like a lavish meal.

“Everyone else is busy.” said Nanny Ashtoreth – or Crowley – his voice lowering to a slight growl. Or was it a hiss? “Just you and me.”

Your eyes widened, almost like saucers, as Crowley leaned in and planted a hard kiss against 'Brother Francis's' lips.

Holy shit!

'Brother Francis moaned against the 'nanny's' lips his hands gripping on to the other coat like a life line. The 'nanny' broke the kiss and started to trail kisses along 'Francis's' jawline to his throat.

“I want you so much, angel. I want you to take me.”

You had to slap a hand to your mouth to stop the squeal that tried to escape. Oh, my god, this was too much!

“I want you take me exactly like you took me in the wheat fields.”

“Crowley...”

“Aziraphale?”

“Please.”

“Nanny Ashtoreth?”

The moment was broken as a voice rang out from the hallway. The two lowers jumped apart and began to straighten their rumpled clothes.

“Nanny Ashtoreth, are you here?” It was Mrs Dowling and the sound of distant footsteps were growing closer and closer. You had to get out of here without being spotted. But how?

“Go.” 'Brother Francis' said.

“I'll head out the back door.”

Shit, you were at the back door! Reaching out, you opened the door as though you were stepping inside and shut it closed again. You walked forwards and almost bumped into the gardener.

“Oh, (Y/N). I am sorry, dear girl. Didn't see you there.”

“Oh, it's all right.” you replied a smile. You were hoping to God that the blush on your cheeks were gone. The blush on 'Brother Francis's' had not. “Well, I better go to the kitchens. Otherwise cook with have tantrum.

“Very well, miss. I'll see you at dinner.”

Oh, this was going to be a little bit awkward.

“Yes. Right. I'll see you soon, Brother Francis.”

“Ta-ra, Miss (Y/N).”

You both departed, you to the kitchens and 'Brother Francis to the gardens.

What was it the nanny had called him?

Aziraphale?

(A/N): anyone wants me to do a part two, let me know and I'll get started. Hope you enjoyed!!

#good omens #aziraphale x reader x crowley #crowley x reader x aziraphale #crowley x reader #aziraphale x reader #david tennant x reader #michael sheen x reader #michael sheen x reader x david tennant #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands x reader #ineffable husbands #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #reader is not in a relationship with our lovable ethreal dorks

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apictureofspace · 5 years

Photo

endless list of my fanfics (3/?)

“Ms. Ashtoreth & Mr. Francis” {WIP} || PLAYLIST

“She wore a knit tweed suit and discreet pearl earrings. Something about her might have said nanny, but it said it in an undertone of the sort employed by British butlers in a certain type of American film. It also coughed discreetly and muttered that she could well be the sort of nanny who advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines.

Her flat shoes crunched up the gravel drive, and a grey dog padded silently by her side, white flecks of saliva dripping from its jaw. Its eyes glinted scarlet, and it glanced from side to side hungrily.

By one of those coincidences, another new member of staff arrived the same afternoon. He was the gardener, and as it turned out he was amazingly good at his job. No one quite worked out why this should be the case, since he never seemed to pick up a shovel and made no effort to rid the garden of the sudden flocks of birds that filled it and settled all over him at every opportunity. He just sat in the shade while around him the residence gardens bloomed and bloomed.” - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

#good omens #ineffable husbands #nanny ashtoreth x brother francis #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis #edits #endless list of fanfics #works in progress #fic: ms ashtoreth & mr francis #fc: michelle dockery #fc: dan stevens #good omens aus

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