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phlebasphoenician · 3 years

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Fic Writer Review

Thank you so much for tagging me and inviting me to play, @silverutahraptor!

This is fairly long so I’m putting it under a cut.

1. How many fics on AO3?

99 as of today!

2. Total AO3 wordcount?

558,120.

Of that, 481,556 was in 2021.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Okay, this is a lot!

Naruto (88)

Original Work (4)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (4)

Mulan (1998) (1)

The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien (1)

The Lord of the Rings (Movies) (1)

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021) (1)

Sleeping Beauty (1959) (1)

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - James Thurber (1)

Jurassic Park - All Media Types (1)

Aladdin (1992) (1)

Brave (2012) (1)

Frozen (Disney Movies) (1)

The Authority (1)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) (1)

Beauty and the Beast (1991) (1)

Harvest Moon: Sunshine Islands (1)

Philip Marlowe - Raymond Chandler (1)

Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness (1)

Fruits Basket (Anime 2001) (1)

Pet Shop of Horrors (1)

Tangled (2010) (1)

The Little Mermaid (1989) (1)

ヒカルの碁 | Hikaru no Go (Anime & Manga) (1)

Fruits Basket (1)

Cinderella (1950) (1)

Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types (1)

Moana (2016) (1)

4. Top Five by Kudos?

Escape and Evade (Madara/Tobirama)

Silence is Golden (Tobirama/Izuna)

Caught and Captured (Madara/Tobirama)

Life Come to Life (Tobirama/Izuna)

Wild Wolves (Kakashi/Iruka)

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

Oh, I always respond to comments, and usually within 24 to 48 hours! I love chatting with people about my stories and it often sparks new ideas or helps to conceptualise free floating world building/characterisation which is wonderful.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That would be a tie breaker.

Either A World Well Lost (Harry Potter, surprise pairing) or Love Wears a Mask (Naruto, Danzou/Kagami). Both of them are tagged 'Dead Dove: Do Not Eat' for a reason.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I do!

The craziest one that I've ever written is The Secret Lives of Marilyn and Susan Short, an homage to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber as well as a commentary on the concept of the Mary Sue in fanfiction.

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

Yes.

I don't mind constructive criticism as a rule, but I've received comments and commentary that definitely crossed the line into rudeness, or that seemed intended to hurt and be destructive.

Some of them, especially on Escape and Evade, actually made me afraid to write about Mito or from her perspective for fear that I would get yelled at again. In several cases, I felt compelled to write long comments defending my authorial choices.

It probably didn't help that Escape and Evade was the first time that I'd written fanfiction in 15 years.

Needless to say, it was not an enjoyable experience for me.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, I do!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully, no. At least not that I'm aware of! I don't think I'm a popular enough author for that kind of thing to happen.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

Hm, kind of?

People have thrown lines at me which I've spun into stories, and I've worked with the fantastic @kurakura0-0 on fiction and art collaborations!

On a less deliberate note, I also wrote Ariel for which the amazing @good-grievance wrote a sequel, and we published them as a single story because they made better sense that way. However we didn’t really set out to collaborate on it.

13. All time favourite ship?

I don't actually have one!

I'm a multi shipper and I don't really have an OTP in Naruto which is the fandom that I'm currently the most active in.

I couldn't choose amongst all of my fandom ships for a favourite either.

Instead, I offer my oldest ship, the ship that I've had since I was a wee little fan - Gambit/Rogue. My second oldest ship would be Charles/Erik. X-Men was my first fandom.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

I only have three WIPs that I'm partway through publishing on AO3, and one of them is only a WIP because it ran into the new 75 tag limit and bounced! 🤣

It's actually complete, and the other two are actively being published. I’m committed to publishing a chapter a day on my main series.

All of my other WIPs (of which there are many) are just waiting their turn to be worked on. None of them fall into the category of being unable to be finished.

I only have one work that I've tagged 'Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued' and that's A Third Wish for Miranda, an original fiction work that would be about novel length if I ever finished it. I still like it quite a bit and I'd love to finish it, but I abandoned it because it ran into a plot hole that I had no idea how to fix. When I wrote it, I didn't have the skills to take it any further. Perhaps someday!

15. What are your writing strengths?

Oooh, I'm not sure! The ability to deconstruct my writing and troubleshoot it when I'm having issues, perhaps. Alternatively, world building.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, too many to count!

My paragraphs are far often too short, my writing isn't as visceral or descriptive as it should be, my smut isn't hot enough or is too repetitive... there's lots of areas that I want to work on!

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

I wouldn't mind it, and I often include words in my writing that are from languages other than English. However, they need to be there for a reason and they must be penetrable to the reader.

I could see myself writing two characters speaking in a foreign language in front of a third character who isn't supposed to understand them for example.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter in 2005.

19. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh my, I don't think I could choose!

If I absolutely had to pick, I'd probably say To Tempt a Target simply because it was a story that was so hard to write, but also a story that I put so much of myself into.

Tagging, but only if you want to, no pressure ❤️: @longliveustherecklessandthebrave , @woofgang69 , @heyitswrenn , @hidendumbassvillage , @greyduckgreygoose , @emilx311 , @sqbr , and anyone else who wants to!

#tag game #i was tagged #fic writer review #Phlebas blogs her writing

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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dangermousie · 5 years

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All the dramas I am watching this month and next

(Not counting the ones that haven’t aired yet or the fact that I want to do a 6 Flying Dragons and Come and Hug Me rewatches.)

This is loooong, so enter at your own peril.

Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency (watched 11/12 aired) - I honestly don’t know why I am keeping up with this one as I tend to watch with one eye and do something else with another. And if it hasn’t grabbed me by ep 11 and it’s not exactly Jumong length, it’s not gonna ever grab me. But it’s so pretty and relaxing even though I wish the story was about the evil ambitious girl and the traumatized womanizer.

Rebel: The Thief Who Stole the People (watched 11/28 complete) - it’s a very very solid drama (though ironically in light of the cap I chose, the romance does nothing for me; luckily it’s secondary.) It’s not going to go on my favorite list but it’s very very well made and I am always down for a period rebel trying to bring down a corrupt government. My favorite take on that trope is likely always going to be 2008 Hong Gil Dong followed closely by the criminally underrated Return of Iljimae, but this is very good.

Just Between Lovers (watched 4/16 complete) - this is so gorgeous and tender and lived in. I am watching it very slowly mainly because I ff so very little. I love the two above with unholy degree of investment and want them to heal each other.

Goodbye My Princess (watched 13/55 complete). Well, these two are not gonna be healing each other any time soon. If you trick your wife in order to kill her grandfather and wipe out his clan, she is unlikely to OK with staying married, just saying. I am looking forward to these two self-destruct and destroy a small galaxy in the process of dealing with their doomed love.

The Tale of Nokdu (12 watched/14 out) - it continues to be funny (though seeing he is the son of the mad king, those are not the genetics our heroine should mix hers with) but I like it, not love it, since comedies are not normally my forte.

Extraordinary You (12 watched/12 out) - I am obsessed - it’s clever and metaish and moving and romantic and funny and I wish to get all the eps and binge like an insane person. Also, Dan Oh x Haru better have a happy ending or I will riot.

One Spring Night (watched 2/16 out) - I am watching it really slowly but it’s a total delight. I slept on the Jung Hae In mania because I wasn’t watching kdramas (we were on a break :P) when he first became a thing, but he is so good and Han Ji Min is always awesome and I root for them so hard. Plus, noona romance is always a plus.

The Great Graftsman (sorry, haven’t seen English subs for this one, watched 6 out of ?) I am a sucker for Wallace Huo and Yang Mi and period stuff. It’s very early days yet so I don’t have a strong impression.

Love and Destiny (watched 10 out of 60) - I was obsessed with this star-crossed supernatural love story when it was aired but it had the most inconsistent sub release I’ve seen in a long time. Now all the subs are on schedule and my interest has moved on but it’s slowly reawakening mainly because the OTP is so slowburn and epic and I want the God of War to be miiiiine! Ahem.

Angel’s Last Mission - Love (watched 4 out of 16). Blame Nalini Singh for giving me a thing for angel fetish. Or something. It’s romantic and lovely and I didn’t watch when it aired because it had tragic ending written all over it (blind bitter ballerina and an angel? Yeah) but now I know the ending and can watch in peace.

Legend of the Phoenix (watched 12 out of 41) - only in a cdrama would you start with goofy physical comedy and transition to terrifying angst and torture. Just how I like it! Also, happy ending, thank God!

Haechi (watched 1 out of 24) - don’t cry, Jung Il Woo! You finally picked a good project! This one is binge territory and he makes the sexiest tortured royal arguably ever.

Her Private Life (watched 0 so far) - I really want to watch it but it’s too close to me watching Secretary Kim and this would be waaaaay too weird to watch two romcoms in a row with the same leading lady.

Search WWW (1 out of 16) - older ladies, younger men; lady friendship, and all the color being leached out. I kid but fondly - this one is fun so far.

My Country: The New Age (6 out of 6 that aired so far) - for God’s sake, someone feed Hwi and give him a comfy bed and a therapist. Physical and shrink. This one is my obsession.

Fates and Furies (4 out of 20) - aka Joo Sang Wook does a complete 180 from his monster character in the Grand Prince. I mean, he gets a gold-digger hired to wreck him to fall in love for real. Smart woman.

The Secret Life of my Secretary (about to start) - heroines of this and Secretary Kim should form a club for secretaries who hook up with their weird hot bosses.

While You Were Sleeping (about to start) - I miss Lee Jong Suk! Not enough to watch Romance is a Bonus Book wince LJS not being tortured in a drama is against the laws of nature.

Still 17/30 But 17 (about to start) - My Country has given me a fixation with Yang Se Jong. Plus the potential for a girl waking up from a coma as a 30 year old woman tingles my spidey angst potential senses.

Deserving of the Name (about to start) - she is a modern doctor, he is an ancient doctor, time travel! It’s like a Faith AU where the heroine hooks up with Lee Philip’s character. Or Bidam lives and studies medicine. Why is Kim Nam Gil not in more things, anyway?

Devilish Joy (1 out 0f 16) - the soft filter annoys the hell out of me, but it’s so sweet and kooky and lovely.

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usertimothee · 3 years

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Heyyy right back at ya, The Americans because that’s the reason I started following you ☺️☺️

ahhhh yay! i miss our show :(

the first character i ever fell in love with: philip jennings a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i’m gonna do the opposite of this and give u a character i used to not like but now love and say martha. a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: i didn’t mind gregory and liz at first but as i became more and more invested in phil and liz i was less ok with it. my ultimate favorite character™: elizabeth jennings prettiest character: liz duh. my most hated character: gabriel. my OTP: philizabeth of course, but also nina x oleg. my NOTP: nina x stan. favorite episode: 6x10 is like....the closest u can get to a perfect tv episode, but i also have a soft spot for the pilot and the season one finale. saddest death: nina’s :( gregory gets an honarable mention. favorite season: basic answer but season six. least favorite season: season five. character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: idk i never was a fan of paige. my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: idk? maybe claudia counts as this? tuan? my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: oleg. my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: uhhhhh.........i don’t have an answer for this. my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: i’m gonna say oleg and his wife bc they deserved a happy ending :(

send me a fandom!

#sentichefuoripiove #thank u for the ask!

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myownworstenemyyy · 4 years

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do my name - not Lauren

so bossy, not-Lauren 😏

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom

videos of Pedro bc i love his voice 😊; gifs of Max Philips; Pedro memes 😂

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

so what’cha want by the Beastie Boys - reminds me of Lizzie x Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice 🤣

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

idk if it’s hard/fast but i fully believe that Javi was really close with his mom and is secretly good at cooking because she taught him everything she knew 🥺

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

Anakin had a pretty good head of hair until it all got burned off 🙈

A - Ships that you currently like a lot.

my otp Peraltiagoooo (B99) ; stormpilot (finnpoe) ; destiel x happiness (SPN)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites

Rosa Diaz from B99 bc she’s badass but super loyal and thoughtful when it comes to the people she cars about most ; Din Djarin/the mandalorian bc he’s tough on the outside but hella soft on the inside ; Lizzie from P&P bc she speaks her mind and don’t need no man

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

literally any of the characters from B99 paired with each other, i can’t pick a fave lol

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i’ve made a few narcos memes and a couple nsfw posts in the Pedro fandom 🙈

N - (already done, yo)

this took a while, so i hope you’re happy not-Lauren 😂😚💕💜💜

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aredhels · 4 years

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if we were villains & red, white and royal blue if no one has asked already !

ooooo nice!!!!

if we were villains:

favorite character: meredith and wren least favorite character: i wanna say richard bc i hate him but he’s also a really brilliant and incredibly well written character bc of how awful he is 5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): oliver x james, oliver x meredith, alexander x colin, filippa x wren x meredith, james x wren character I find most attractive: meredith loml character I would marry: no one tbh skajfghjksh character I would be best friends with: filippa a random thought: IMAGINE THEM DOING HAMLET me and @fratboy-of-orome did a casting for it once and oh god i rly wanna see it with my own eyes somehow pls i have a need an unpopular opinion: not the most unpopular opinion but i hate how often people hate on meredith just for the sake of getting in the way of their gay otp and like in general meredith hate tends to reek of misogyny my Non-canon OTP: filippa x wren x meredith most badass character: oliver? most epic villain: richard lol pairing I am not a fan of: none really favourite friendship: oliver and filippa character I most identify with: wren? oliver? character I wish I could be: none of them lol

red, white & royal blue:

favorite character: i really really really can’t choose, it varies between henry and alex but also bea and june and nora least favorite character: philip lol 5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): firstprince, nora x june x pez, bea x happiness, ellen x whatever the dude’s name is, waspy hunter x fucking off character I find most attractive: henry ig character I would marry: nora character I would be best friends with: nora and june and alex and henry and everyone lbr a random thought: ”I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.” an unpopular opinion: idk if i have any my Non-canon OTP: idk?? most badass character: alex? most epic villain: uhh pairing I am not a fan of: none favourite friendship: the super six character I most identify with: june character I wish I could be: june

#asks #usercossette

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wicked-storybrooke · 5 years

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I'm seeing a lot of posts about Philip and Aurora the last few days so I'm guessing you like that ship but... Thoughts on that ship?

For sure! Thanks for asking! I didn’t even realise how many Philora posts I had queued! My otp for both of them is actually Warrior Royals! I would post just as much Sleeping Warrior and Mulan x Phillip if I could find it. I just love every element of this three-way relationship!

I think Mulan and Aurora have such beautiful development and I adore what their relationship blossomed into! Mulan sacrifices her own happiness to ensure Aurora’s. She would do anything to protect Aurora and Aurora grew to be just as protective of Mulan. The way they look at each other when Mulan gives Aurora back her heart! And the way Mulan strokes Aurora’s forehead when she’s sleeping! I die!

I’ve always interpreted the relationship between Mulan and Phillip as something that unwittingly developed into more than a friendship. I would have loved to have seen even more of that backstory because I am almost convinced he was saying “I love you” to Mulan or both of them before the wraith got him.

Phillip and Aurora have true love! From the little we saw of them together they seemed like a really cute couple. They supported one another, made sacrifices and you can tell they’d do anything to ensure one another’s protection, as I believe is true for Mulan too. I was obsessed with Disney’s Sleeping Beauty as a kid, so Phillip x Aurora means a great deal to me. I love them a lot! They’re adorable! But my otp is definitely Warrior Royals. I can’t help feeling like they’re a family. And I wish we’d gotten more of all three of them together. I would have loved for them to have all raiseD Phillip Jr. together in Storybrooke and heck! I’m gonna headcannon that they did!

Oh my Lord! The way they look at each other! So cute!!

What are your thoughts on Phillip x Aurora?

#philora #sleeping warrior #ouat #once upon a time #warrior royals #darkpoisonouslove #meta #kinda?#philora meta #warrior royals meta #sleeping warrior meta #princess aurora meta #prince phillip meta #mulan meta

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judas-had-a-crown · 5 years

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8 PEOPLE I‘D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

so I kinda was tagged by @horrible-device and my head needed a lil distraction so there info boost ay 🤷🏻‍♀️

ONE / name/alias: Jasmin, disaster, panic bitch, regular bitch but mostly panic

TWO / birthday: November 8th

THREE / zodiac sign: Scorpio

FOUR / height: 155 cm

FIVE / hobbies: Earlier? writing, reading, occassionally drawing, watching let’s plays, imagine music videos about my current otp. Now? Trying not to collapse 👍🏻

SIX / favorite colors: black, white, dark red, gold, silver

SEVEN / favorite books: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Duma Key, Lisey‘s Story, Doctor Sleep and IT by Stephen King (I grew up on his books and Harry Potter he‘s got a special place) Perfume - Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Milton’s Paradise Lost, Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy, The Heart is a lonely hunter by Carson McCullers, Red Dragon, Hannibal and Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris, the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud.

EIGHT / last song I listened to: The bully by Sody

NINE / last film I watched: The Green Book

TEN / inspiration for muse: Heartfelt movies and series, lots of music, the night

ELEVEN / dream job: I don‘t know. A travel journalist maybe. I wish to see the world before I go.

TWELVE / meaning behind your url: A title for a wip I planned out with love but never finished. I still hold it dear though. Kept the url because it somehow feels like me.

THIRTEEN / top 3 ships: Ineffable Husbands (Crowley x Aziraphale), and I somehow have a huge need for Ruseb (Ruvik x Sebastian) and Valeyne (Jerome x Bruce) again lately. Also I ship Billy Hargrove with happiness but *sobs*

FOURTEEN / lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

FIFTEEN / currently reading: Do Androids dream of electric sheep by Philip K. Dick and I‘m sick of it.

Tagging everyone who wants ta do it and @sabotage-prowl

#taggidy tag #tag game

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sweetrevengeance · 7 years

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Don’t Close Your Eyes

pairing: Philip Shea/Lukas Waldenbeck (Eyewitness)

word count: 3228

trigger warnings: !! suicide attempt !!

A/N: yo!! this is a birthday gift for my bestest bro Gabe!!! h8 to make u sad on ur birthday bud but ur the one who requested self harm Philip for ur birthday so ur wish is my command I guess!!

Read it on ao3 here.

It took Lukas a little while to warm up to being out. It had taken him multiple grueling months beforehand to even begin to come to terms with himself, and making that public took a toll on him at first. He never regretted it, because he loved Philip, but a part of him wished it had just been easier. Once the initial shock died down - when people stopped pausing him in the hallways to say ridiculous things like so which one of you is the girl? or it’s such a shame. you were so cute when you were straight. - Lukas couldn’t have been more of a romantic. When people stopped talking so much and he stopped caring so much about what those people thought, the world became a lot easier to navigate for Lukas, because his mind was set on only one thing almost all the time: loving Philip. If someone had told him that first night in the cabin that one day he, Lukas actual Waldenbeck, would be kissing Philip Shea by his locker every morning, strutting around all proud and giddy with his fingers sewn between Philip’s in between every class, loving this boy in plain sight and everyone knew, he probably would have punched them for saying something so insane. And maybe that’s what it took him so long to get over; the notion that loving Philip made something wrong with him. But, with a little bit of soul searching and a couple of near death experiences, Lukas embraced who he was and who he loved, and he decided everyone else should embrace it, too. To make up for all the time he spent unfairly forcing Philip into the dark, Lukas made sure everyone in the whole wide world that was Tivoli, New York knew that he loved Philip and wasn’t afraid to admit it anymore.

It was one of those mornings, when Lukas was feeling so extraordinarily in love and wanted to show it off. It was hardly 9 AM when Lukas pulled himself out of bed on a Saturday morning to bike down to the local florist and pick up a fresh bouquet of purple and blue flowers. Philip hated roses, but he liked flowers in general. Mostly, he liked sticking them in Lukas’ hair and taking cheesy polaroids, but Lukas was always up for that, since it always made Philip smile.

He thanked the young woman behind the counter when she handed him the small but beautiful bundle of flowers. He checked his phone for the time (9:32 AM), but found his screen displaying a message also. It was a text from Philip, reading simply: I love you, Lukas. He abandoned any idea of trying to surprise Philip with breakfast in bed or anything, but he had sort of figured that would be the case unless he woke up really early. Philip didn’t sleep very much anymore; he was always awake before Lukas. Typing out a quick response about loving him too, Lukas wondered if Philip had similar romantic plans for the morning, considering the random outburst of affectional declaration. He silently hoped a small bouquet of flowers would be enough as he climbed back onto his bike and shoved the helmet over his head.

With the flowers in his lap tucked half under his shirt, the sound of Lukas’ motorbike was almost the only thing breaking the small town air. It only took him a few minutes to drive through town and end up in the familiar driveway to Helen and Gabe’s house. He could probably drive there in his sleep, seeing the amount of time he’d come to spend in Philip’s bedroom or at their dinner table. He brought his bike to a stop on the lawn, noting the absence of cars around him and concluding that both Helen and Gabe weren’t home - Helen almost certainly at the sheriff station, Gabe probably out grocery shopping or enjoying the early June sunshine out on the water. He smiled. He loved Helen and Gabe like family, but sometimes being alone with Philip was greatly preferred. Lukas peeled off his helmet and gloves and swung a leg over his bike, dismounting. He tussed up his hair a little bit to get the shape of the helmet out of it and regripped the flowers in his hand. He was only a little bit concerned that Philip hadn’t walked out the door yet. Usually, the sound of his bike lured Philip to greet him with a kiss on the front porch, but the old screen door stayed perfectly in place, even as Lukas climbed the few porch steps.

He knocked thrice, loudly enough to be heard, but there was still no sign of Philip. Lukas knew he was awake because of the text, and he waited almost a full minute at the door, but it seemed it wasn’t going to get opened from the inside. His mind wandered as to why Philip wouldn’t answer the door. Was he right about Philip also pulling a romantic gesture this morning? Was it some sort of surprise? Was he even home? Maybe Philip had walked to Lukas’ house when Lukas was riding to his? Whatever the case, Lukas waited a few more seconds before finally bending down to grab the spare key from beneath the potted plant next to his feet. He unlocked the door and let himself in, not for the first time.

Upon initial entry, the house was eerily quiet. He was certainly right that Helen and Gabe weren’t home, but it didn’t sound like anyone was. The air felt too cold, the atmosphere was too hard to swallow correctly. It just seemed strange. Kicking off his riding boots, Lukas stepped into the kitchen, where a flash of eggshell white got caught in his peripheral. There was an envelope sitting hastily on the kitchen table with his name scrawled on the front.

The seemingly empty house and the single letter could have confirmed Lukas’ romantic suspicions if the handwriting on the envelope wasn’t so off. Philip didn’t have extraordinary penmanship to begin with, but the letters looked shaky and rushed like the pen was fighting with the fingers holding it. The breaks and waves in the blue inked Lu Lukas seemed so telltale of uncertainty - hell, he had to try to write the name twice, and even then it looked wobbly and uneasy. The envelope filled Lukas with worry.

He set down the flowers on the table, his fingers brushing over the paper in front of him nervously. He picked it up and read his name again before turning it over in his hands and opening up the flap on the back. It hadn’t even been sealed. A somewhat crumpled piece of notebook paper covered in the same blue pen ink was folded inside. It was blotchy and smudged in multiple places. Lukas only needed to read the first line to understand the situation. He dropped the letter and ran.

Luckily Lukas’ feet were functioning better than his mind. His head was so filled with anxiety and adrenaline and genuine dread that he could barely conjure a coherent thought, but his legs carried him up the stairs and around a corner to Philip’s bedroom. He swung the door open, his eyes darting across every inch of the quiet room, searching for something he didn’t want to find. But the room was empty, Philip was nowhere in sight.

“Shit.” Lukas breathed, his voice no more than a panicked whisper.

His head was still swimming in fear, his heart still pumping unrelentlessly. He turned and ran back down the stairs, turning a few more corners until he reached the bathroom. He was thankful he knew the house’s interior like the back of his bike. He darted out a hand and wriggled the doorknob to the bathroom. The door shook, but didn’t open. It was locked.

“Shit!” He proclaimed, louder this time. “Philip!”

The locked door undeniably revealed that Philip was inside, but no answer was given. Lukas called his name again, louder, more desperate, banging his fist on the door.

It was no use. He hoped against all hope that Philip was just ignoring him or knocked out. He hoped he wasn’t too late. He needed to get into the bathroom. With his heart hammering below his skin, Lukas made a decision. The house was old. The door was wooden. He needed to get to Philip.

Taking a step back and as deep a breath as he could muster in his panicked state, Lukas drew back his leg and pushed all of his force into the swing of a kick. His heel smashed against the bathroom door, just under the doorknob. It hurt like hell and he probably should have left his boots on, but the shot of pain prickling through his foot was the last thing on his mind. He reeled back and kicked again, hearing a crack this time. It only took him one more kick and the door flew open, its hinges whining. He scrambled to recover his balance. Head rushing and out of breath, Lukas finally stepped into the bathroom.

His stomach dropped.

His breath caught in his throat, and despite his pulse thundering through his veins, he swore his heart stopped.

Philip was lying in the bathtub, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling alarmingly slowly. His arms and torso were covered in blood. His left arm was hanging off the edge of the tub, a razor blade lying on the floor perpendicular to it. Thick, dark droplets of red trailed across his palm and dripped slowly onto the floor, lingering on his fingertips for as long as possible until gravity pulled them from his skin. A small puddle was already formed on the tile. His other arm was resting weakly on his stomach, where the blood had pooled so much his hand was more red than pale. Deep, cavernous gashes shone on each of his wrists, blood still draining out of them, as it ostensibly had been for a while. Lukas yelled.

“Philip! Holy shit, no. No, no, no. Fuck!” He rushed to the tub, his head screaming at him not to panic and do something but his body refusing to come up with anything useful and panicking nonetheless. He dropped to his knees next to the tub, the small puddle from Philip’s left arm soaking into his jeans. The warmth of the blood snapped him into survival mode.

He yanked a towel from the rack behind him, taking Philip’s arm from the edge of the tub and tying the cloth tightly around his wrist. Philip winced a little, his eyes stirring slowly. Lukas frantically searched for another towel, but to no avail. Instead, he peeled the dark flannel off his shoulders and knotted it securely around Philip’s other wrist. His ankle was still throbbing from the door, but he didn’t care in the slightest. Once pressure was applied to both wrists, he reached into his pant pocket to pull out his phone. He slid to the emergency call screen and dialed 9-1-1 as fast as his shaking fingers could. The generic 9-1-1, what’s your emergency? greeted his ear a moment later.

“I need an ambulance! My boyfriend, he - he tried to kill himself and he’s bleeding so much and -” He couldn’t make it through the whole sentence. Saying the words out loud forced the welling in his eyes to spill over and his voice to break with a small sob.

“Sir, what’s the location?”

Lukas spat out the address into the phone, hanging up once the woman assured him an ambulance was on its way.

“Philip, hey, can you hear me?” Lukas asked desperately, bringing both his hands to the side of Philip’s face, slapping his cheeks a little bit in an attempt to make him coherent. Philip tilted his head and groaned lowly, and Lukas let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Philip, it’s me, it’s Lukas. P-Please say something.” He was still crying, harder now. It took Philip a full five seconds to open his eyes, and those few moments felt like years to Lukas.

“Lukas?” Philip’s voice was weak and depleted, but it was there.

“I’m right here, baby. I-I called an ambulance, you’re gonna be okay. Please, I need you to be okay.” He shook Philip’s head a little bit with nervous gesticulations.

Philip winced and drew his hand up sluggishly to grip Lukas’ arm, just below where the blond was touching his face. “I’m sorry, Lukas. I love you. I’m sorry.”

“No!” Lukas shouted as Philip’s eyes drooped half way and he put his hand back on his stomach. “Philip! I love you so much, please - please just stay with me. Please.” He took one hand from Philip’s face and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, ignoring the blood that smeared across his fingers.

“Don’t close your eyes, Philip, please. Look at me, yeah? Look at me. Please, please stay with me, Philip.”

Philip’s eyes fluttered, alternating between giving up and falling closed and struggling to meet Lukas’ gaze. He was trying, and that was all Lukas could do until the ambulance arrived - make Philip keep trying, keep holding on. So he kept squeezing Philip’s hand and he kept rambling about how much he loved and needed Philip and he kept crying, waiting for the sound of sirens to make its way into Helen and Gabe’s driveway.

***

Lukas hated hospitals. He hated the stale air, the way it hung all heavy and musty around his head, clouding his windpipe with distant stenches of dismay. He hated the lights, always too bright in the way that made them somehow not bright enough, flickering lowly like they were trying to steal the life from the patients and take it for themselves. He hated the waiting rooms, the way everyone looked at each other with pity in their gazes, trying to gauge who had it the worst or who’d been sitting there the longest. He hated not knowing if his boyfriend was alive or not.

For probably the fourth time in a minute, Lukas found his hands tugging his hair and his elbows digging into his knees. His uninjured foot bounced anxiously up and down without relent, shaking his whole body. His other ankle had stopped throbbing thanks to the pain meds a nurse forced him to take. It was wrapped too tightly in an ace bandage. Apparently he’d sprained it kicking down the door, but honestly he couldn’t care less with no news of Philip still. It had been almost two hours. Two hours of Lukas jittering and sitting hunched over with his head down, Gabe occasionally placing a comforting hand on his back, Helen pacing and bickering with nurses, and people staring solemnly at them all, wondering what horror brought them in. Lukas’ mouth was dry. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Just as he was half-legitimately contemplating going on a small rampage, throwing open every door in the entire hospital until he found Philip, a tired looking nurse in that ugly off-white uniform stepped into the waiting room with a clipboard under her arm.

“The family of Philip Shea?”

Lukas was on his feet and in front of the nurse so fast his head spun. Gabe and Helen were by his side in less than three seconds. “What’s going on? Is he…?”

“Philip is in stable condition,” Lukas exhaled at the nurse’s proclamation, relief flooding his brain and his heart. Philip was alive. “But he lost a lot of blood so he’s pretty weak and tired. We don’t want to overwhelm him, so we’re asking only one visitor at a time.”

Lukas looked almost pleadingly at Helen and Gabe, giving them a small it’s your call shrug.

“Go, Lukas.” Gabe nodded, draping an arm around his wife and blinking back tears. “He’ll want to see you most.”

“Thank you.” Lukas breathed. He knew Helen and Gabe were just as worried, and he appreciated greatly that they let him go first.

“Right this way.” The nurse smiled softly. She had that kind of smile you have to have to work in a hospital; the shit sucks but I have to be polite about it smile. He followed her down two hallways, taking a left and then a right until she stopped outside a closed door. “I’ll give you two some time.”

Lukas could hear his pulse in his ears. The cold metal of the doorknob stung his hand. He turned it quickly and stepped into the room.

Philip was propped up in the bed, a faded blue hospital gown hanging loosely on his shoulders and torso. An IV bag was dripping slowly and steadily into his right arm. Slightly stained bandages wrapped both of his wrists. His eyes opened halfway upon hearing someone’s entrance.

“Hey, Lukas.” Philip piped up, his voice small and croaky. He shot a sad smile toward the door. Lukas rushed to the bedside, pulling up a chair from along the wall and sitting down, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand gently.

“Hey, Philip.” Only two words and Lukas’ voice was already cracking, his eyes welling up for the umpteenth time. Philip saved him momentarily from having to try to talk through his tears.

“Listen, I- I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have put you through this. Helen and Gabe, too, none of you deserved this. I really didn’t mean to hurt anyone - well, except myself. I was just so - I’m just - I couldn’t -”

“Hey, hey.” It was Lukas’ turn to save Philip from trying to talk. “You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. No one is upset with you. We’re all just relieved that you’re alive. You don’t know how badly I needed you to be okay, and you are, and that’s all that matters to me. I really don’t know what I’d do without you, Philip.” He reached a hand to Philip’s cheek. The last time his hand was in that position, Philip was covered in blood and nearly comatose. He blinked the image out of his mind.

“I love you, Lukas. I should’ve come to you, I’m sorry.” Philip shook his head, the first droplet of water running down his face.

“It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to keep apologizing.” Lukas swept the moisture away with the pad of his thumb. “I love you, too. So, so much.”

As if to prove his point further, Lukas leaned down to press a kiss to Philip’s lips. It was soft and sweet and absolutely bursting with love and life.

“Will you stay?” Philip mumbled against Lukas’ mouth, voice pleading.

“Of course.” He figured they’d have to let Gabe and Helen in eventually, especially if Philip said he wanted them all there, so Lukas would stay with his boyfriend until then. Philip pulled back to shuffle over, wincing at the weight he put on his wrists. There wasn’t really enough room for both of them on the single bed, but neither really cared, and Lukas climbed into the small space Philip had cleared for him. He slung an arm behind Philip’s waist and kissed his temple. Strands of unkempt brunet hair splayed across Lukas’ shirt when Philip settled into his chest. Philip closed his eyes, and Lukas’ heart and stomach felt light with the knowledge that this time, he knew they would open again.

Find more of my writing here or here.

#wooooo boy this one was killer to write #killer as in it was fun to write but also as in it literally fucking killed me. im deceased #anyways!! happy birthday gabe i love u #sorry I almost killed ur son on ur birthday :/#okay boring tags ahead #philkas #eyewitness #philkas fic #philip shea #lukas waldenbeck #philip x lukas #philip shea x lukas waldenbeck #philkas forever #sad fic #fanfiction #yeet #my writing #shut up heather #otp: does your stomach hurt?

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sportacuseleven-blog · 5 years

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ALRIGHT LISTEN UP HAMILFANS

I WANNA GET MY AU AND OTP OUT THERE

it’s kinggy. king george iii x peggy inspired by a cast photo they tweeted out.

here’s the au written by ME <33

This AU is where America lost the war because too many people still supported King George III, so they were never separated. King George hosts a “royal ball” many years into the future where only the most prestigious can attend - and therefore the Schuyler Family is in attendance (except for Angelica who eloped away).

Eliza arrives with Hamilton in tow. (who has become depressed after the loss.)

Peggy arrives, single still. Upon entrance, she looks around the ballroom and meets eyes with the King who is on a balcony of sorts, looking over guests. She is helpless. “Helpless” is sung by Peggy and the guests of the party.

At the ball, King George comes to the main level and joins in the festivities. Peggy approaches him and asks if he’d like to dance. Curious and intrigued by this girls shameless yet brave way of speaking to royalty, he agrees to dance with her. Whilst they are dancing, they start to talk and he quickly learns she’s a Schuyler. He’s intrigued at how different she is from her older sisters and parents, but the dance ends too soon. When they seperate (with a cordial bow), he can’t stop thinking about that girl. She had been so strange and different from all the other attendees that it was mind-blowing how she even came from the family she did. When the Ball started to end and people started to exit, the King found Peggy just about to leave with her family and pulled her aside to explain that he wanted her to write to him. Eagerly, she accepted.

They began to exchange letters. Then soon, love letters. Eliza ended up finding one of Peggy’s letters to him and quickly brought it to her father’s attention. Philip was horrified at the relationship that had built between his daughter and this monarch, but the look in Peggy’s eyes was undeniable. It was the look Eliza had when she married Hamilton. Peggy asked for his blessing, begged was maybe the right word… and Philip, along with his wife Catherine, gave her blessing. Peggy was quick to inform George; and they went to visit the palace where George quickly proposed…

Eliza has written to Angelica about this and she returned on Eliza’s request; who are both terrified for their younger sister. At the wedding, both Angelica and Eliza sing “Satisfied” in a duet in a disbelief of the situation and hope that Peggy will be happy, safe, but in acknowledgement that a King like him will never be satisfied.

I WANNA GET THIS SHIT ATTENTION YALl, IM CALLIN IT THE KINGGY AU

#kinggy #kinggy au #peggy schuyler #peggy #and peggy #hamilton #hamilton the musical #hamilton an american musical #lin manuel miranda #jasmine cephas jones #angelica #eliza #schuyler #eliza schuyler #angelica schuyler #hamilton musical #au #yayhamlet

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missmudpie · 6 years

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Tumblr Tag

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in any order), answer the questions and tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

Originally posted by thedoomydogs

—

@ah-maa-zing - Thanks for the tag! I’m going to follow your lead and also do five.

3 5 Fandoms:

Arrowverse (even though I’ve stopped watching um, all the shows - but I fully intend to binge LoT this summer!)

The 100

The West Wing

Agents of SHIELD

The Americans

The first character you loved:

I came to Arrow towards the end of the second season, and a large part of what drew me in was all the chatter about Felicity Smoak. So I’ll go with her. But if I’d started from the beginning, it probably would have been Diggle, just because of his early Season One facial reactions to all the bullshit excuses Oliver was spewing.

Again, came to this in the second season because I kept seeing Bellarke cross my dash, so I was already predisposed to love Clarke and Bellamy. So, yeah - we’ll go with those two.

ALL OF THEM.

Phil Coulson. His death in Avengers didn’t make such a big impact on me, but I fell for him hard in the pilot. Also, FitzSimmons.

Henry. HAHAHA just kidding. Love isn’t the right word. I was intrigued by Elizabeth from her first scene and she still captivates me. Philip is also a really interesting character, but it’s Elizabeth - wife, mother, Soviet spy - who I feel I could watch for ten more seasons and still not fully unpack or understand all of what makes her tick.

The character you never expected to love so much:

Sara Lance. I thought she was a really interesting addition in Season Two of Arrow, but didn’t think too much about her, especially since she left at the end of Season Two. I figured she’d pop up for a few eps every season. Then they shot her full of arrows and threw her off a roof and - oof. I didn’t realize how much I was going to miss her til she was gone. I love who she’s become on LoT and watching her become a Captain has been amazing.

Murphy. That little cockroach has really grown on me. And Kane. For the first few episodes of Season One, I would look at him and be like, “Ugh, Desmond would be so ashamed.” But then the Culling happened. Watching him grow and change has been amazing.

Ainsley Hayes. What’s so funny about her is she was only in - a dozen? - episodes, yet she made such an impact on the show. Also - Alan Alda. I love Alan Alda in anything and everything.

Skye/Daisy. Look, let’s just all admit that the pre-CA:TWS episodes were - not great. And Skye just - she didn’t connect with me. This sarcastic hacktavist I didn’t really trust - not because I thought she was bad, but because the mistakes she would make were SO STUPID. And now look at her - Saving the world and leading SHIELD. This show has really excelled at growing its characters in a way that feels organic and natural.

Oleg. I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve grown attached to that man, and I fear he’s not going to make it back to his wife and son come series end.

The character you relate to the most:

The crew of the Waverider. Only because I would also be like a kid in a candy store if I got to travel through time.

Bellamy. Because I, too, am a history nerd trying to keep children alive.

Leo.

Simmons.

None of them?

The character you’d slap:

I haven’t watched a full episode of Arrow since Oliver and Felicity’s reception, but apparently in finale he goes to jail?? Without consulting Felicity??? Leaving her alone to raise the son he lied about and visited while she was paralyzed in the hospital???? Yeah, I’d slap him. Or, more accurately, I’d like to slap the Arrow writers who can’t write their way out of a paper bag.

People on this show either don’t deserve to be slapped, or would kill me if I slapped them, so, yeah.

AMY GARDNER

Ward 1.0. Like, OG traitor Ward, not the thing he became in Season 3.

@lerayon sing it with me: Paige is the WOOOOORST (Although not as The Worst this season as she has been?)

Three favorite characters in order of preference:

I’m kinda mad at everyone right now? Okay, okay, I won’t be such a sourpuss. Arrow: OTA, obvi. Flash: Joe West, Iris, Caitlin (HM: Cisco). LoT: Sara, Martin, Jax (HM: Rip Hunter)

Clarke, Bellamy, Raven

I reject the premise of the question.

So, remember at the end of Season Three, we knew whoever had the cross necklace was going to die, and the cast just kept passing it around like a hot potato? Those were the most stressful episodes for me. They are all my faves.

I’m two episodes behind because I was out of town, but it looks like the screws are tightening and it’s all coming down to Elizabeth, Philip and Stan and I am HERE for this.

Character you liked at first but don’t anymore:

Curtis. UGH, Curtis. Also, has Barry finally stopped fucking with the timeline?

I remember being intrigued by Jaha early on, but then he went prophet-crazy and I wasn’t really ever able to reconnect with him after all that. And this will get me in TROUUUBLE - Lexa. When she was first introduced - a young woman Commander who could work with and square off against Clarke - I thought she was great. But then Season Three happened, and to be honest a lot of it has to do with the fandom. I still think Lexa is a really interesting, complex character - but she’s very much an antagonist, and her actions are really problematic. And I would have fun discussing or debating that. But some in the fandom only see her as THE Hero, and are pretty ruthless when you disagree.

I tried to think of one, I really did.

The only one I can think for this is when Ward just kept coming back, even as the evil thing in Season Three. It just started to feel like the show was reluctant to let go of the actor (who, by all accounts, seems to be a lovely person).

It’s hard to put these characters in “like” and “don’t like” boxes. EVERYONE does really horrible things at times.

Character you did not like at first but do now:

Ray Palmer. I will admit that I was late to the “Ray is a Stalker” train, back when I was trying to talk myself into the idea that he could be good for Felicity while we all waited for Oliver to get his head out of his ass - but yeah. Ray on Arrow was not good. Ray on Legends, on the other hand, is a delight, as long as he’s not actively pursuing someone romantically.

Again, Murphy, Kane. I came into the show knowing Bellamy was a fanfave, but those first couple of episodes are rough for him.

Okay, I got one -Bruno Gianelli. Because when he’s working for the Bartlet Campaign, he’s annoying because he’s going against what Our Guys want. But when he’s with the Vinick Campaign, I really started appreciating him. I liked him so much better when he was an external antagonist.

Skye, as I said. May really grew on me, as well. Again, the character growth on this show is just outstanding.

Martha. Poor, poor Martha.

Three OTP’s:

Olicity, obviously. It’s the reason I still keep one eye on the show. I shipped Sara and Rip Hunter back Season One (and Two), but it looks like that will never happen. Sara and Nyssa, another one I shipped. Diggle and Lyla don’t get nearly enough screentime but I love them. And I was very happy to hear Thea and Roy got their happy ending.

Bellarke!! Battle Couple Supreme, the Head and the Heart, their hugs kill me so when they finally kiss I will probably implode.

Josh and Donna, from Day One. Going out on a limb, I feel like CJ and Toby had a really special connection. I think they loved each other, but never would have been happy in a relationship with each other. Jed and Abby Bartlet. And I would have liked to have seen Sam and Ainsley really make a go at it.

FitzSimmons. He jumped through a wormhole to another planet to save her! She went into an AU simulation to rescue him! Also, May and Coulson - we don’t normally see more “mature” couples on shows today, but their development was pitch-perfect, even if the show did make me wait til the very end.

Elizabeth and Philip’s marriage and relationship is one of the more complex and fascinating ones on TV. The first season was about them actually committing to each other and their marriage. Their secret marriage ceremony (in Russian!) is one of the most romantic things I’ve ever seen on a show. Now, we’re watching their marriage under immense strain and I have no idea what’s going to happen and WHY IS THIS SHOW ENDING??? Other Americans OTPs: Martha x Happiness; Stan x Office Robot.

No pressure, but if you’re looking for something fun: @lerayon @millennialfangirl @eilowyn1 @machawicket @scu11y22 @jedichick04 @almondblossomme

#Tumblr Meme #Arrowverse #The 100 #AoS #West Wing #The Americans

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