#my not quite a crush who is

[luxaofhesperides]

Ghostlight!

"You came?" "You called."

Danny in trouble, Duke to the rescue! (Or it can be reversed!) Maybe they've been online friends or met in person once and bonded over both having all these unexpected powers. Slightly angst.

There was never a point when Danny thought he would need the panic button Duke gave him.

It was a sweet gesture, a way for Duke to show that he cared for Danny and wanted him to be safe. Never mind that Danny can take care of himself, heals quickly from most wounds, and has been the protector, not the protected, ever since the Accident. If it makes Duke feel better, than Danny was more than happy to keep it on him as a token of affection.

The cultists, however, caught him off guard. 

Danny would be embarrassed about being nabbed off the streets so easily if the people who took him weren’t cultists lead by the daughter of a GIW agent, one who disapproved of the scientific approach the GIW took towards ectoplasmic entities and had turned to mystic arts as a way to defy her father. Which, usually, Danny would be all for striking out against the strict expectations of parents and their unwillingness to listen to their kids in any serious manner, but not this time. Not when it ends with him slowly waking up after they chloroformed him, curled up in some magic circle, surrounded by black candles and blue flame, and something in the air that smells of blood blossoms.

There are voices speaking, but he can’t make out what they’re saying over the pounding in his head, his heartbeat stuttering in his chest with each gasping breath he takes. 

Whatever they’re doing, whatever’s got him bound in the circle, makes his blood feel like its been lit aflame, agony coursing through his veins. He tries to grit his teeth and bare it, but it doesn’t become any more manageable.

No, it gets worse the longer he’s awake.

Danny tries to move, tries to get to his feet, but all he can do is curl up tighter, a sob forcing its way out of his throat.

“I know you’ve got some connection to Phantom,” he hears someone say, both by his ear and so far away he can barely make out the words. Danny whines, trying to insist that they’re wrong, he’s got nothing to do with phantom, but the voice continues. “Come on, cooperate with us and this will end sooner for you. You can’t lie about this; you wouldn’t be feeling anything if there was no connection.” 

A hand brushes against his forehead, burning hot, and Danny turns his face towards the ground trying to move away from it. 

“I knew ghosts had to have some tie to the living world. And a living anchor would make the ghost stronger… If only dad would listen to me.” The voice sighs, and the words help him put the pieces together and realize this is the daughter of the GIW agent that came closest to finding him when he first ran to Gotham. 

It’s been close to a year since then. He thought they’d stopped looking. 

Really, he should have known better.

The hand leaves his forehead and he hears the leader bark out an order. Voices surround him, chanting, as they rise out of the dark. 

A red glow begins to fall on everything, enough that Danny can see it through his barely open eyes. A shudder runs through him, and he feels his transformation try to begin.

NO, he thinks desperately. He tries to force it down but it fights against him. It’s agony, pain on a molecular level, the feeling of dying over and over and over again.

NO, he thinks, STOP I DON’T WANT TO DIE SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

And then, unbidden, a single word rising in his mind. Duke.

Duke will help him if he knows Danny needs help. Duke has been kind and welcoming and helped Danny find his footing in Gotham, never judging and always quietly offering a hand in support. He’s the person Danny’s closest to in Gotham, someone dear to him, a light in the dark. 

He gave Danny a panic button.

Contrary to popular thought, Danny isn’t an idiot. He knows Duke is the Signal. A few too many incidents where Duke had disappeared and the Signal appeared to save him tipped him off. It didn’t help that Duke acted the same in and out of costume, and he always, always grabbed Danny first at the elbow, then slid his hand down to his wrist. 

Besides, who else gives panic buttons to their friends? Danny would have done the same to Sam and Tucker if they weren’t always attached at the hip. He’s a (former) teenage vigilante too, he knows how being involved in this kind of thing invites trouble into the rest of his life.

Duke can help him. He’s a hero. He’s saved Danny before.

He’s his friend. Danny trusts (wants to trust, so badly) that Duke will help him even when he’s not fully human, fully alive.

With trembling hands, he reaches into his jacket, to the panic button. It’s a simple necklace with an unassuming metal rectangle dangling off of it. It’s flat and thin, but the top gives way to a button that Danny clicks three times in quick succession. 

He waits a moment, trying to breathe through the pain, and clicks it three times again.

Please hurry, Duke, he thinks, hand falling limply to the ground. 

“Let’s try this, instead,” the leader says, and the chanting falls to a quiet murmur to give way to her voice as she begins reciting something.

It starts at his feet. They cramp up suddenly, then pain crackles up his bones like lightning, digging deep into him. It feels as if a thousand knives dig into his abdomen, cutting in deep and twisting.

Danny chokes on his breath, then screams, trying futilely to scramble away. All it does is make him writhe on the ground, back arching enough that he can feel the strain of it on his spine, but it doesn’t matter because he’s forcing down his transformation again, smothering Phantom as much as he can.

His breath mists out before him. His fingers go numb, frost spreading across the floor.

Tears slip down his face as Danny pants for breath.

It hurts. It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before, but he refuses to give in. If they find out he’s Phantom, they’ll only do worse. 

Please, he thinks again, deliriously.

As if hearing him, a window shatters above him and the cultists break off in screams. 

Forcing his eyes open, Danny squints through he tears and watches as the shadows around them rise up, roiling, and crash against the cultists. The force of it knocks them down, leaving them to claw desperately at their faces as the shadows cover their nose and mouths, cutting off their air. The leader is yelling, rage clear in her voice, shooting out magic spells at the Signal.

The Signal is usually a friendly figure. He’s safe, something whose meer presence makes people feel safe. His smile means everything’s alright and when it’s directed to Danny, he feels like nothing bad can ever happen to him again.

The Signal isn’t smiling now. 

He’s furious, expressionless and stone cold, bashing away the spells with shadows or light, advancing on the leader like an avenging angel come to deliver justice. 

He takes her out with hard hits, striking methodically. It’s not quick. She doesn’t get the kindness of being knocked out; no, he snaps a wrist, breaks her nose, slams her down on the ground and cuts off her air with a knee until her struggles die off and she’s left limp on the floor. 

When he rises, surrounded by shadows still moving restlessly, illuminated only by the flicker blue flames of the candles, he should look terrifying. 

All Danny feels is relief so sharp it worries him that his chest was cleaved in half without him noticing until now. He shivers against the floor, too weak to reach out to the Signal.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to. 

The Signal picks him up with careful hands, checking him over for injuries.

“Duke,” Danny murmurs, slurring a bit. The torture is definitely at fault for it, but the sudden absence of all that pain doesn’t help him sound any more coherent. “You came.”

“You called,” Duke says, “Of course I came. I’ve been looking for you for hours. You never showed up for our study date and I know you always try to reach out if you can’t make it. I’m just sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“S’okay, ‘m not mad. Was scared, but you made it better. The panic button…”

“It’s how I found you. I’m so glad you were wearing it today.”

Danny tries to smile, but the most he can manage is a twitch of his lips before his head tips forward to rest against Duke’s armored shoulder. “I always wear it.”

Duke’s grip on him tightens for a moment, then he begins walking, taking Danny away from the magic circles and the prone bodies of the cultists who had watched him be tortured and decided to keep going. Danny shudders again, his entire body aching. His transformation is still fighting to come out, but it’s not as strong anymore. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Duke says into his ear. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“No! No hospitals, please. I can’t let them know… they’ll find me…”

Duke shushes him soothingly, tucking him more securely against his chest. “Alright, Danny. No hospitals. But I am going to call Batman for a pick up to get you to one of the people we trust for medical care.”

“But Batman doesn’t work in the day.” Danny’s too exhausted to sound confused, but it must go through anyways. Duke laughs lowly, and the sound helps unwind the last of his nerves coiled up tight in fear. 

“Danny, it’s well into the night. You were gone for hours. Longest hours of my life.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, 

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. Hang on, Batman’s nearly here.”

In any other circumstance, Danny would be excited to meet another hero. Especially Batman, one of the original heroes of the modern age. But all he wants is to go somewhere safe so he can curl up and cry, then sleep for three days before he pretends to be a normal human again. Ideally, he’d stay with Duke until he felt safe again, but he doesn’t want to take Duke away from the city that needs him.

His ears perk up a bit when he hears the smooth rumble of an engine stop in front of them. A door opens with a click without Duke needing to grab the handle, and then Danny is carefully being deposited in the back seat.

“Wait,” he says, trying to grab for Duke’s arm only to have his fingers fumble and grab nothing. Duke doesn’t move away, though, and instead grabs Danny’s seeking hand. “Stay? Please? I just—” his voice shudders, cracks, fractures apart. “I just want to feel safe.”

There’s a pause, a stillness in the air, before Duke says, “Okay. I’ll stay.” And then he’s sliding into the backseat, pulling Danny in to lean against him, curl into his embrace.

“Signal,” Batman’s low, gravelly voice says. There’s something in his tone that makes Danny tense up, prepared to take off, and his transformation pushes at his skin, ready to come out.

“He knows who I am, B,” Duke replies. “He’s trustworthy. Besides, just because he knows me doesn’t mean he knows you.”

“We will be discussing this later,” Batman says, dark promise in his voice. It’s just how he talks, Danny’s sure, too used to years of making himself the scariest thing in the dark. That doesn’t change the fact that Batman can be terrifying, and Danny can’t imagine he’ll take kindly to the fact that Danny knows Duke’s identity.

Fear slithers up his spine, and he can’t stop the transformation this time. The rings of white light flash over his body in a second, leaving Phantom in his place. 

Danny lets go of his legs first, glad to be free from their aching weight, and without a body made of flesh and bone, the hurt begins to fade away until it’s just an unpleasant memory. 

“What—” Duke starts to say just as Batman says, “Signal—”

They must have some sort of silent exchange. There’s only a heavy tension in the car and the barely audible rumble of the engine as they drive towards their destination, whatever it may be. Danny sinks into Duke some more, sighing in relief as a hand comes up to card through his wispy white hair. 

“Danny,” Duke says, “What’s this?”

“It’s why they hurt me,” he mumbles against Duke’s chest. “It’s why they keep hunting me down. I want them to leave me alone. I’m tired.”

Embarrassingly, his voice cracks on the last word and more tears fall down his cheeks. He hears Duke move, and then hands, bare and gloveless, wipe his tears away with a gentleness that makes his heart ache.

“They won’t be able to hurt you again. You’ll be safe from now on, Danny, I swear it.”

“S’okay if I get hurt,” he says, “It always happens. Promise to save me if this happens again?”

“I’ll do whatever I can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But if it does, then I promise to always save you. I gave you that panic button, didn’t I? As long as you keep it, I’ll always find you.”

“You’re a good person, Duke,” Danny says, voice falling quieter as his exhaustion catches up to him. “I’m glad I met you.”

He thinks he feels a soft touch to the top of his head. A kiss, maybe, though it’s not likely. But he wants comfort, and he’s endured a lot a pain so he allows himself to hope and be delusional. With the warm that spreads through him from Duke’s soft kiss to his head, Danny gives in to the siren call of slumber.

“Get some sleep, Danny,” Duke says, voice hushed. “I’ll stay with you as long as you need.”

I know, he doesn’t say, too tired to open his mouth again, You’re always here. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

He falls asleep easily after that. There’s nothing in the world that can hurt him while he’s in Duke’s arms. He’s never been safer.

#ghostlights #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc fanfic #dc x dp fic #prompt fill #my writing #didnt quite get into it but duke and danny bond after always being in the library together!! they decide to study together and grow close #danny def has a crush but hes stressing out abt too much to think much on it.duke is crushing HARD and flirts with him as both duke & signa #anyways danny has mentioned that he's running away from people who want to hurt him and is safe in gotham for now #hes absolutely going to have to answer a lot of questions after he wakes up in the batcave with duke asleep on a chair next to him #batman in that car ride worried abt the identity breach and then mentally practicing his shovel talk bc he knows duke and danny are gonna #end up together. they're just acting soooo close and enamoured and kinda like him and (literally so many options. all of them ig) #danny is going to wake up. freak out. be interrogated. be given protection. and get a date all before alfred manages to get him to eat #good for him :) #thanks for the prompt!!

[dash-o-frost]

Watched one of my favourite childhood films the other day . . . I cried . . . A lot.

I don’t remember it being so emotional. The sound track is an absolute banger

Also mad respect to all the animators who had to draw horses over and over again.

#spirit stallion of the cimarron #my inner 8 year old horse girl is happy and fed #it’s such a good film #spirit: stallion of the cimarron #drawing horses with eyebrows was weird I ain’t gonna lie #shout out to little creek #8 year old me didn’t quite understand why my brain liked him so much #but 19 year old brain understands perfectly fine #that damn smile #it’s drawn so contagiously #don’t quite relate to people who have a crush on spirit though #sorry I don’t understand the eyebrows 😭 #this film brings me so much happiness #also the back grounds in this movie #✨SPECTACULAR ✨ #don’t even get me started on the music #myart #fanart #scene redraw

[yenvengerberg]

sometimes, just sometimes, twitter does good

#uk politics #today we had another resignation in the cabinet #(of someone who was horrendous so we're celebrating) #but the letter she said was basically like 'i can accept my mistakes and know when to step down' and it was very the drama!!!! #i have to laugh because honestly if i don't the crushing weight of how depressing this is will get me #truss ain't gone quite yet but.. soon #anyway i now feel like it's my job to update my non-uk moots of the car crash going on here

[number1yisuchongfan]

Pls pls PLEASE tell us more about your prince sniper au!! I’m already obsessed bc him and scout look so handsome🥺

I’m happy to explain!

Okay some background information:

So it starts with the moment when Bill-Bel gets into an argument with the original (mostly white) ministers of New Zealand about how even though he, a Māori man, saved all of New Zealand from “magma and nuclear war” they refuse to let him join the council and make him a minister.

They tell him because they’re sick of living down there and that’s he’s not worthy of being on there.

In his frustration, he manages to rally up the Māori iwi (tribes) of New Zealand and many of the white New Zealanders, into making him into the king.

He changes everything once he’s in control. The white New Zealanders or Pākehā get sent off to live in their own space within Aotearoa and the Māori get to having the majority their land back.

The next 29 years is quite peaceful, the local nature and wildlife grow in population back to pre colonial times and so does the Māori people. They bring back old ways of life and traditions along with more high tech gadgets (because canonically New Zealand in tf2 was made of extremely smart people).

And now onto the Sniper and Scout part of your question:

And then coming Sniper or I should rather say Mun-Dee Taumata.

He’s next in line and has only really ever known of being a Royal and living like the way he does, in a giant palace with guards always protecting him making him extremely sheltered and honestly very calm person.

He isn’t allowed to go out alone, but Mum-Dee finds his ways, always sneaking out to visit his kiwi, who’s named after the Māori goddess of loyalty Hinekepea, in his family’s Royal Aviary. She tries to protect him and gets angry whenever he comes back smelling like one of the ladies that Bill-Bel set him up with.

Oh, I should mention that the minute he turned 18; Bill-Bel was trying to get him wife so he could make an heir (no matter how many times Mun-Dee explained he was gay)

Then in the summer of 1972, out appears Mann Co. reps (All of RED Team + Miss Pauling and Mr. Bidwell) to try to make an agreement with the Aotearoa government on if they can used some of the Australium they own.

They didn’t know of the change of the government and when they arrived they were shocked to say the least. Scout especially.

The Māori people held a welcoming ceremony or a pōwhiri for the first ever manuhiri (visitors) to their home in 40 years with gifts, dance, music food, and of course, get a personal welcome from the Royal family. Mun-Dee had been extremely excited, and when he was about to do a hongi (which is we’re you touch noses together and do a handshake in welcome) with Scout, he slapped him.

It was a misunderstanding, Scout thought Mun-Dee was going to kiss him so he did some unnecessary self defense.

And that was the exact moment Mun-Dee got his first ever real crush on anyone.

And they eventually get together, Spy tries to blackmail Scout into marrying him quickly so that if Bill-Bel died mysteriously; Scout can be married to a king for political reasons. Scout just wanted Mun-Dee for who he was.

Scout meets Hinekapea and she almost kills him, more like jumped onto his back when he had been trying to make out with Mun-Dee. He leapt off and as soon as he was off of him, Hinekapea got onto Mub-Dee’s chest and made some angry sneezes at him. Mun-Dee had just thought it was cute and apologized to her for bringing Scout without warning.

Here’s a lil comic for when Hinekapea, after having a specialized kiwi home (like a catio almost) put in Mun-Dee’s room so he could always see her, treats Scout:

#tf2 #team fortess 2 #tf2 Sniper #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #sniper tf2 #sniper x scout #sniperscout #speeding bullet #tf2 au #my art #māori sniper #I REALLY LOVE THIS AU #if you can’t tell #I did a lot of research for this whole au and I feel quite confident about it #there’s no rocket in this universe so no drowned New Zealand #sniper in this au is just a lil pathetic politican/prince who has a fat gay crush on the first man who treated him like he wasn’t fragile

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[ Third Vacation: Maxwell! ]

Thanks to some mismanagement in time (ahem), Maxwell arrived later in the day after Keaton left the getaway! He will get tonight, all of the next day, and the morning after to spend with Daniel! It looks like they're already starting off strong - Max is here to stay, and he started off the night strong with some light flirting and plenty of jokes!

Part 1 of 7 🌹

@yikessims

#ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 gameplay #ts4 challenge #ts4 bachelor challenge #;kmik #sim: daniel #maxwell santiago by yikessims #|| #bah sorry for the awkward timing on all of my posts #i finally got some free time today and i have to record and blah blah blah time mismanagement #BUT LOOK WHO'S HERE 😊 #maxie was admittedly coasting off of a gloomy moodlet but the minute he talked to dan he got flirty and they took off from there! #he's very nervous still (he's got a crush on dan now and the socially awkward trait seems to manifest a lot more nervous moodlets) #but they really did hit it off on night one!! #daniel really does actually vibe with maxwell and finds him quite attractive :') so he does want him to have a good time and #definitely wants to make sure he doesn't feel too awkward #now that he's a returning contestant #bless you maxie you absolute angel #more to come!! #kmik's posting schedule is allll over the place but trust me more is coming pfff

[steakout-05]

i drew my babygirl Jon Arbuckle :)

his ass!!! it haunts me!!!! i tried to draw him taller but he just kinda ended up looking really stocky and i don't know how that happened,,, man's like 6 foot canonically. i think i was too focused on his ass and making his legs look cute lol

speaking of ass, i don't know why Jim Davis decided to give Jon such a dumptruck but i'm so glad he did. ever since the very beginning of Garfield in the 'Jon' strip, he's had a fat ass and i absolutely love that. it's just a cemented part of his character now and always has been XD

i drew 1978-1980 Garf from memory!! one of my absolute favourite things about classic Garfield is just how arch-shaped he is. he's just a fat little cat guy and i love him :) i always make sure i draw the arch shape when i draw Garfield sitting cause that's one of my favourite parts about drawing him

also here is Gnorm :) for those unaware, back in the very early 1970s, before Garfield was created in any form, Jim Davis made a little comic strip about bugs called 'Gnorm Gnat'. it was mainly about the little bug dudes getting into silly relatable little antics with snappy punchlines. it's got a few characters like Gnorm, a fruit fly named Freddy, a slug named Cecil, a smart worm called Dr. Rosenwurm and Drac Webb to name a few. for something so early, it actually has quite a few familiar aspects of what would later become Garfield. the same writing style, a similar art style to early Garfield/Jon, occasional references to Peanuts (a comic Davis grew up with), the German doctor character who later appeared in the 'Jon' strip, heck there's even a goofy bug named Lyman! additionally, the name "John Arbuckle" shows up in a strip where Dr. Rosenwurm reads a piece of poetry written by him (which was recycled into an actual early Garfield strip where Jon Arbuckle reads the same poem). in fact, it's so mildly familiar that the entirety of the September 9th, 1978 Garfield strip was recycled twice, first in Jon and then in Garfield!

unfortunately, Gnorm Gnat only ended up getting published in the local newspaper, Pendleton Times, following several rejections from various syndicates for the fact that bugs just aren't as relatable or funny to a lot of people as Jim Davis thought they were. of course, i think Gnorm Gnat is something very special to the history of Garfield and i quite like it for its significance. i think it's a cute little bug comic and i hope it gets rebooted someday :)

#jon arbuckle #garfield #gnorm gnat #jim davis #currently listening to the 'Arbuckle' soundtrack that Patricia Taxxon created :D #it's really good!!!! #i love her music it's so cool!! #y'know after learning to draw the guy i've become quite fond of gnorm #i already liked him before because he's interesting to garf history but like. #i think i'm slowly becoming an unironic gnorm gnat fan #if gnorm gnat has 5 million fans i'm one of them #if gnorm gnat has one fan that's me #if gnorm gnat has no fans i've been crushed by a giant shoe #oh yeah one of my favourite things about gnorm gnat is the urban legend that the comic ended with him getting crushed by a shoe #it didn't actually end that way (it actually ended with him thanking pendleton) but it's funny to think about #i think i actually have a sort of mandela effect memory related to that legend actually #like i felt like i had actually seen it online before but it was actually just a garfield comic i was misremembering where he squishes a bu #what's really funny about that legend though is that it has a tiny bit of truth to it. there is a gnorm gnat strip where a bug gets- #-squished by a shoe but it isn't gnorm #it was a random bug who's supposed to be one of those guys with signs who go and say ''the end is afoot!'' #and then he ends up getting squashed by a shoe #to which cecil slug says ''now that's what i call irony'' #so yeah someone does get squished but it wasn't the last strip and gnorm is fine #jim davis himself actually appears in a few strips represented simply as an omnipresent giant pencil which is really funny #i could ramble endlessly about this comic but i think i'm starting to run out of tags #there should be a gnorm gnat fandom i think

[indexcard]

one of main ways i feel out of step with contemporary heterosexuality (apart from the fact of my being a kinsey 1ish) is that when i see a man in movies/tv/etc who is supposed to be handsome i feel a part of my brain just... shut off... how can it be possible that what i want is SO incongruous to the modern hottie? something about today's age-appropriate men... they're all so damp... like a decade ago they were all beard-beer-bacon hipsters which didn't do it for me either but at least there was a congruent aesthetic... now i feel like "handsome men" are largely amorphous and dare i say a little algorithmic... i'm serious why don't men look like elliott gould in 1975 anymore

#blah blah blah #at least when i see hot men catered to the gay gaze i can be like okay i know this is not meant for me which is why it's not hot #but men targeted at MY DEMOGRAPHIC! pathetically featureless #anyway this is all to bury in the tags the fact that The Crush really does bear a resemblance to t*m w*mbsgans specifically #and yes there IS something wrong with me #but from some angles it's quite striking #how do you say 'you remind me of blorbo from my shows who is btw really unlikeable but i'm obsessed with him' without sounding insane #answer: you put it on your blog like a normal freak

[seokjinite]

its just . harder and harder for my man to hide it

#not that i blame him bc merlin is adorable but . #i have A Lot to say #first of all #the ep prior to this one. morgause luring him in with info about his mother #merthur sharing a similar pain due to not knowing a parent. good shit #but better than everything was 1 arthur's anger at uther and 2 how that whole thing only ended with him despising magic even more #which makes me only more intrigued about 1 what morgause is going to do next and why 2 ARTHUR'S REACTION WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABT MERLIN #now. the ep these blessed blessed screenshots are from #i. dont see the point. narratively speaking #like okay yes the girl said she owed merlin or something which im guessing is going to become useful in future episodes #apart from that though i dont see how it served the narrative like it was quite ooc for merlin #who so far has always put his destiny of protecting arthur above everything - to meet a random girl and wanting to flee w her? #like your most common couple of teens getting married in gretna green in 19th century england #i would have understood him developing a crush and wanting to protect her from harm but abandoning arthur and his mission ..... idk #it makes no sense to me so anyone is welcome to explain like genuinely #and then this scene <<<<3333 tattooing it on my eyelids me thinks #mary watches merlin #merlin

[femmeidiot]

sometimes songs are so weird they're like time capsules and sometimes they hold a very strange story you cannot help but think about whenever you hear them

#for instance I just listened to 'crush' by say anything and remembered that when I was in high school my family had this man from church #and his son living with us for quite awhile and the son developed a crush on me and then played that song from my cd player in order to tel #me that he had a crush on me #and a maybe like a year or less later I began a years long situationship with his sister who .. is not a good person #anyway wild

[raeofgayshine]

I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.

For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.

#ravenpuff rambles #I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times #several of whom are still in my life now #but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place #I don’t know how to explain it #I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit #and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me #maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind #never had someone quite get that before #and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart #admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming #and so maybe that helps #but it’s like #Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘ #‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’ #It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word #anyways #I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me #and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream #no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay #its nothing and everything like I always thought of #and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness #yes I wish I could see them in person #but I can be okay with everything I do get

[sonego]

can i complain about my life again promise you all won't hate me

#(i know everyone already does most likely so i'll do it and just feel bad about it but) #it's not that i don't love my family and i'm not happy to go back home to have dinner w them and all but #god after like 3 hours i'm already exhausted #i feel bad about it but they're just SO exhausting and this house is SO suffocating #i did it i left i did it. why do i still feel trapped #quite literally can't even stomach watching football rn bc i just wanna sit in the dark under my blanket and fucking. idk. cry maybe #and it makes it all so much worse that it's so painfully obvious my mum is tired and probably sad and surely fed up w my father (and my #brother to a lesser extent) #every time i come home i just wanna say sorry. sorry i left you. sorry you're alone. you're not alone but you're alone against the world #and she dismisses my worrying bc ofc she does and i do the same with her worries we've played this dance all our lives #it's just. how do you let someone worry about you when you both know there's nothing you can do to make it better #when you both know the source of the misery and exhaustion is inescapable #god i wish it was. like. i wish this was a movie. where people actually help you in these situations. where there isn't that BIG big big #obstacle that feels wrong to even call an obstacle but it will always forever make it impossible to do anything about the problem #i wish the people who said they'd help gave even half a shit and actually did (it was their fucking job) #going from sad to angry to hopeless to exhausted every 4 seconds i'm so #the thing is i'm not gonna stop coming back home you know? i'm not i can't #i don't even want to #but i wish it wasn't so fucking soul crushing every time bc i don't wanna keep having tiring tiring weeks #and then go back home on weekends and feel the opposite of rested #ok. i should shut up. sorry. i really don't know why i'm even alive atm #delete later #i never remember to delete these (when i remember to tag them in the first place)

[fluffypotatey]

YO, speaking of Stronk Gwen, think she ever picked Arthur up, too? Not bridal carry or anything, but when they go for a hug, she gets him around the waist and picks him up for a second in Max Hug?

Arthur would fucking DIE.

(She has 110% carried Merlin before, esp. skinny S1 farmboy Merlin.)

oh no question

sure, merlin was taller than her but gwen totally held him up by the scruff of his neck when he wasn't taking care of himself.

arthur tho??? mister "raised with traditional/toxic masculinity values" getting carried by his wife who isn't breaking a sweat???? call a physician because he is dysfunctioning. man's already had a thing for people who stood their ground and showed themselves to be strong of heart. but you carry him??? you life him like he's a sack of potatoes???? gone. that man is gone for you

y'all saw how he looked at percy the first time

like lancelot walks in, coming in hot, with this beefcake and arthur

well

post by @scionofgwenpendragon

arthur is shook™️ (edit: see pic above ^ as proof) by this gentle giant who can crush him. so i am 100% a firm believer that after the first time picked up arthur, he was all for it. and yeah, it was just so she could keep him close, but when she places him back down he is floored.

gwen: you ok?

arthur: hm? yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm good, very good. in fact, could you do that again?

just...my boy would be weak in the knees the moment gwen lifts him off the floor (a good thing too since he wouldn't be able to stand, so good thinking on gwen's part).

anyway, in summary, arthur is weak for strong willed and physically people (those people being merlin, gwen, percival, lancelot--)

#ok uh i had more to say about this than i thought #did i derail a bit? that's possible #do i regret it? no #moral of the story: arthur likes being carried send tweet #gwen loves carrying people new headcanon just dropped come and get it #arthur will still carry gwen because he loves treating her like a princess and will dote on her in a way she adores #gwen quite enjoys being the one who's carried from time to time #anyway #they're very cute and mushy gushy and all that #bbc merin #headcanons #arwen #there is slight merwenthur but i mostly focus on arwen #derailed to talk about percival and arthur's mini bi panic moment #which same arthur i relate; i too would stop functioning if someone who could crush me with their arms gave me the sweetest smile #arthur pendragon #gwen #sir percival #asks #edit: thank you scionofgwenpendragon for letting me use your post as evidence it has improved my 'essay' immensely

[toolazytodecide]

Missy and Twelve are the single most LGBT M/F couple to ever exist.

#Twissy #Missy #Twelve #doctor who #twelfth doctor #theyre both pan ace and genderqueer #Not to mention the master and the doctor have been every goddamn combo #m/f check #m/m #and surely at some point theyve been f/f if not so far then itll happen #or just ship missy and 13 #they ARE the community #Theyre also so good together #like she was my man crush gender #i do find it annoying only the m/f version have kissed #but they can easily fix that by having ncuti doctor and dhawan doctor kiss #dont let him regenerate quite yet #im so obsessed with twissy tho #more than any other master/doctor pairing

[outragedslime]

meetcute <3

#silevan #my ocs #ocs #naoha #dood #comic #comics #suggestive #I DONT THINK IT ACTUALLY IS BUT JUST IN CASE BC OF THE FIRST PANEL #naoha isnt mine only silevan !! #he doesnt quite get it its ok <3 #silevan is too shocked and confused to say no to receiving the fish #this keeps happening. at first hes frustrated but slowly #he grows to expect and look forward to the fish #silevan beloved by all and many across the land #little partyman who loves having flings and never actually falls for anyone #gets a crush on the weird ass oblivious fisherman #who keeps raw fish in his pockets and cannot understand context clues #long post

[obstinatecondolement]

Trying to think which of Austen's romantic leads is the most like me and, um:

Edward Ferrars was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address. He was not handsome, and his manners required intimacy to make them pleasing. He was too diffident to do justice to himself; but when his natural shyness was overcome, his behaviour gave every indication of an open, affectionate heart. His understanding was good, and his education had given it solid improvement. But he was neither fitted by abilities nor disposition to answer the wishes of his mother and sister, who longed to see him distinguished—as—they hardly knew what

... yeah.

#autistic enough and enough of a parent to my own siblings to be darcy but not rich enough #keen enough on The Ocean to be wentworth but not... successful or good looking enough #judgemental enough and likely enough to be best friends with my crush's dad #*and* as fixated on helping people to See The Error Of Their Ways as a means to ultimately help them #(albeit in a way that can be very annoying) #to be mr. knightley... but not dashing or a landowner or someone who would not be skeeved by dating someone I knew as a baby #I'm quite a lot like edmund with regards him being like Someone Needs To Look After Fanny when she was 10 and he was 16 #however I would not have then married her when she grew up lol #I am the same age as col. brandon (yikes) and can also be very serious and sensitive in a way that is sometimes boring to young people #but I am not like... I could never be played by alan rickman. I am not that man #I haven't read northanger abbey so I cannot say how I am like or unlike henry tilney #but... edward. yeah. cringe fail king

[makkie-is-screaming]

It’s really sad that my parents have made me so ashamed of my identity and scared to share it.

#My friends was asking like if I’m straight or not #and I just said I’ve never had a crush and I’m not really interested in dating #and she was like “oh cool so you kinda don’t know” #and she was really nice about it and one of her friends implied that she wasn’t straight and all #but I’m so scared bc even if they’re cool about this I feel like my identity is kinda a lot #like aroace sapphic is a lot to explain to someone who’s straight #and even then that’s not quite it #as happy as I am to talk about my sexuality here I’m so sc at ed of people irl knowing to the point that I lie #rant #screaming