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asocier · 4 years

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now we’re gonna talk about leah’s family life/dynamic bc :^) i never get to but it’s so pivotal to her character so i gotta put this out there:

leah’s considered second-generation vietnamese, which means her parents were born in vietnam and immigrated over to the states. history lesson aside, they basically came over during the 80s and made a life for themselves in california. leah’s mom is a nail technician while her dad is uhh -- he’s kind of had a lot of different jobs over the years, his most current one being the manager of a convenience store. lowkey though, her dad works a lot of different kind of informal jobs for those in the community like being a handyman or cutting other people’s yards, so he’s always busy.

leah’s family is pretty tight knit; she’s an only child, so she got a lot of attention from her elders growing up whenever they visited, but she’s didn’t grow up in an intergenerational household ( meaning her grandparents/other relatives didn’t live with her and her parents; this type of home situation is fairly common in asian households due to filial piety, where the children take care of their parents for life essentially ). i guess you could say circumstances worked out such that leah’s parents were allowed to have their own home, though they both continue to play active roles in providing for their parents ( leah’s grandparents ) when necessary. leah isn’t the only young adult in her family though, nor is she the youngest -- she has plenty of cousins, though not all of them are in america.

i could go into a lot of depth about leah’s grandparents and her other relatives, but she doesn’t really talk about them a lot in threads because, well, they’re not as big of a part in her life as her parents. HOWEVER -- despite them not being directly influential in leah’s life, most of her extended family members share a very strong belief in very traditional catholicism, so what goes for her parents sort of goes for most of the family too. but it’s important to note not everyone in her family is catholic; some adhere to buddism and others are agnostic or atheist. again, not super important, but it’s something to think about since it allows leah to have some outlets if she needs different perspectives from those in her family. anyway --

catholicism is something leah was exposed to since before she understood what it was. she was baptized as an infant, had her first communion, has been confirmed, and of course, has attended those catechism classes as a kid. there’s plenty of religious imagery and symbols in her house, and her family has made it a routine to attend mass every sunday along with obligatory services during certain times of the year. all in all, her family is devout and do a lot of things they do because of their faith.

while faith plays a big role in why leah’s parents are on the conservative side, it’s not the only reason. they hold very traditional views partly from growing up in a different culture, partly because of generational differences. it’s also important to note that saving face drives leah’s family dynamic quite a bit, and it’s a big reason why leah’s parents placed very high demands on her while she was growing up. how she dressed, what she did in school, who she hung out with, her romantic life ( or rather, her lack thereof ) -- all of this was dictated in part by her parents one way or another.

it’s really important to note that this isn’t because leah was a slacker in school, dressed in a way that was too revealing, hung out with bad people, had too many failed relationships -- it could be argued that her parents were just trying to look out for her, and in a way, that might be the case. but leah was a straight a student, dressed moderately most of the time, and had good friends. she wasn’t like cedric who was actually going out doing things and rebelling. leah was a good kid, but her parents still found things to nitpick.

she couldn’t wear jeans with holes in them or crop tops, couldn’t hang out with friends ( don’t even think about hanging out with platonic male friends ), was criticized for partaking in seemingly frivolous extra-curricular activities, had a strict curfew, was ( and still is ) forbidden to date -- the list goes on. one thing i really want to emphasize is the fact that leah’s parents aren’t abusive: they’re oversolicitous. this all stems from a genuine concern about leah’s safety, about wanting her to have a good reputation and her well-being. but also, her parents want to maintain their reputation as well, so in a way, it’s also selfish. whatever the driving force really is, by the time leah was in high school ( and still now in her canon timeline ), she feels suffocated by the fact she lacks the independence that her peers have. it became incredibly apparent in high school when her friends were able to drive by themselves to parties or outings and were beginning to date and experiment with their sexuality. it’s safe to say that by age 18, when leah was a senior in high school, she was not considered an adult by her parents.

a big, big, big thing i really wanted to talk about in this post is how leah’s parents played a role in the development of her sexuality and, for those interested in shipping with her, how much anxiety leah has about moving a serious relationship forward due to her parents in a true canon timeline.

leah, as mentioned earlier, isn’t allowed to date in her true canon. period. not until she has finished all of her schooling at least, whenever that may be. thus, anything romantic or sexual that has happened to her since her first relationship ( unless plotted otherwise ) is something she would keep to herself and a close group of friends. she doesn’t tell her parents anything about her love life let alone her sex life, so everything is bottled up tightly and kept under lock and key. sometimes i overlook this aspect of her character for the sake of ship development ( since it’s hard to really develop any kind of ship if leah is straight up just like “no, sorry, my mom said no” ), but to put it out there, this is how things would really be.

essentially, realistically, there would have to be a point in time in which leah gives your muse “the talk” about her parents, about how she keeps her relationships private and a tight secret. not because she’s ashamed, but because she doesn’t want her family to attack the relationship, nor does she want her family to consider her to be a disappointment for being disobedient. it’s an incredibly difficult subject for her to talk about, so by default, she never brings it up until she has to ( especially since it’s awkward af ). but yeah, dating is a risky game with leah in the long run.

also important is the fact that leah identifies herself to be pansexual, which, ( unsurprisingly ), would not fly with her parents. so any relationship that wasn’t heteronormative would cause a lot of tension between leah, her partner, and her parents. but i can tell you right away that when leah loves, she loves hard, and she’d be willing to drop everything for your muse. she doesn’t think the teachings of the catholic church is fair in that regard, so she’d fight her parents until the bitter end if your muse sticks beside her during it.

uh, uh, uh i think that’s all i wanted to talk about right now. i guess i really wanted to put out there that while leah is out here living her best life in the short run with interesting sexual encounters, lots of flirting and dating, and all that good ( and not so good ) college hook-up culture, in the long run, she’s incredibly anxious about letting her family in on her love life, so any serious ships would have to keep that in mind since i don’t think it’s realistic for things to be smooth sailing 100% of the times in ships.

#( leah ) headcanon;#cw: long post

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holly-mckenzie · 4 years

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bitch! since no one asked you, I'll ask you myself! What is happening to your version of Sana, Noora, and whoever else you have done an absurd amount of research + written an entire essay about

wow its almost like I sent this message to myself! thanks “anon”

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking... Erica, how are you going to tell your version of Sana in an Indian, Malaysian, and Turkish context (especially because all of ‘em countries either are Muslim Nations or have a Muslim community...) to which I say: BEHOLD!

9. Introduce us to your version of Sana

GERAM (SKAM Malaysia) : Kalifa Ahmed (name subject to change)

So, here’s the thing... Making Geram!Sana Malaysian makes absolutely no sense, especially because of the overall Muslim population. So I figure that there are three versions to do it 1) make her of another faith (which is tricky), 2) Make her not be Muslim enough, (she doesn’t wear her Hijab, interacts with dogs, has gay friends etc...) 3) or three which is the option I will be going with.

Kalifa Ahmed is a Somali-Malaysian (I haven’t decided if I want to make her half-Malay, half-Somali, or a Somalian who has emigrated to Malaysia). Kalifa, much like Sana is super close to her family, especially her mother. Kalifa enjoys playing the football/soccer and is the member of the group that says it as it is (think SKAM NL Imaan). She’s a bit rough around the edges from all of the things she has faced in life, however, she is super sarcastic and funny. She is super independent, so a thing that I want her season to focus on is her friends realising that she is more than the “strong-Black-woman” and does need help.

Kalifa constantly feels ostracised from the Malaysian population, due to the large anti-Black sentiment that is rampant in Malaysian. Thus, as a product, Kalifa is very close to her family, due to all the racism that they face on a daily basis. This includes ”racial preferencing” when it comes to apartment hunting, to people avoiding them in public, and constantly hearing racist comments made towards them.

Before the show starts, Kalifa had a close friend in the character of Jamila. Jamila would probably either be a character that Kalifa met in the apartment that she lives in or to the refugee school that she went too (in Malaysia refugees aren’t allowed to attend national schools and must attend refugee schools). They became fast friends, bonding over their shared experiences of facing racism on a daily basis. However, Jamila feels betrayed by Kalifa for “leaving” her to become friends with the Girl Gang. Jamilla is incredibly hurt by it, especially because Jamilla thinks that Kalifa lets GERAM!Vilde gets away with being casually racist. However, Kalifa, feels pressure because though she does speak out about the racism she faces, she knows that she could face backlash for it. Especially since if you are a foreign worker in Malaysia, you can face deportation for speaking about the injustice. This is one of the reasons that both Kalifa and Jamila don’t like Geram!Vilde, because Kalifa feels like the prejudice that Geram!Vilde has, goes against their shared Islamic faith.

An aspect of this that I would really want to touch on is the fact that Kalifa doesn’t face the same sort of “tension” that og Sana faces between having to choose between the secular world and Islam (because that makes no sense in Malaysia. Also, I thought the love triangle was stupid, so it won’t be happening.). Instead, Kalifa is torn because, she feels finally “settled” in Malaysia, however, her family, in particular, her brother, wants to go back/seek refugee status somewhere else (This is my version of the Sana-Yusaf-Noora love triangle). However, this all comes to head when her brother is attacked when he is going to the Mosque (which will replace the whole Elias punching Isak plot). With this we will see, just how ingrained into Malaysian culture anti-Black sentiment is. This will end, with her parents deciding, really deciding to seek refugee status somewhere else (which will replace the Yusaf leaving plot).

* tw for the season : pain/angst, racism, hate crimes, Islamaphobia

** additional notes: Kalifa is probably really close to Nor (my version of Noora) and they are super cute (e.g. - they fix each other’s Hijab and stuff... it’s ducking adorable). Also, the show will focus on Ramadan (though that’s boring I know)... However, instead of having Kalifa invite the girls to Hari Raya, Nor’s family invites Kalifa’s to their house. (You get the idea that because Kalifa’s family is so ostracised from the community, that this act is super important because they are finally being invited in... Also, Nor’s mom tries to cook Somali food and it's hella cute). Lastly, Geram!Yusaf, is a Sabahan Muslim. He volunteers at the refugee school that I mentioned earlier (hence his whole being good with kids thing). He is also lowkey an activist and is thus, really educated in racism and stuff. One of the reasons that Kalifa falls for him, is because he doesn’t put up with the casual jokes by his friends, and instead corrects them.

Okay, so I haven’t actually thoroughly throughout the rest of my Sana’s... Partially, because I’m not well educated on the countries/religions etc. So here’s a brief summary:

Mó Bafão (SKAM Brasil): Monica (name subject to change)

Monica is a young Afro-Brasileira (Afro-Brasilian) woman. Monica practices the religion Candomblé, and thus faces a lot of prejudice from her peers for firstly, being Black (because racism and against Black people is a thing in Brasil, regardless of what Josh Boone may think). However, the other prejudice comes from the facts that her peers are mostly Christian and Catholic and see Candomblé as a heathen religion. Thus, due to that belief, many of her peers have grown up learning to avoid signs of the Candomblé faith (e.g. - orange coloured strips of fabric near a tree, or a specific arrangement of "ingredients" or tools). Much like Sana, Monica feels torn between two worlds. However, unlike Sana what it really comes down to is colonialism. Monica has really seen how the Christian/Catholic faith has affected Brasilian society, and how Brasil is still very much facing the consequences of colonialism (the post-colonial hangover is a real thing guys).

SKAM TURKÏYE : Sera

Sera is Turkish-Armenian. Sera comes from a family where her family is super supportive of all of her dreams and goals. She is the mom friend of the group and constantly wants to care for everyone. She is Armenian and thus the prejudice that she faces is largely tied to the denial and recognition of the Armenian genocide by her peers and schools. Due to this, Sera is very much an advocate for the rights of Armenians, as well as Kurds and Jews. She faces a lot of backlash from her fellow peers who would rather keep the status-quo and not believe that there is something wrong about the world. Much of the season will discuss what it would mean for Sera to live in a modern Turkey and whether that would mean assimilate to the culture or to stand up for her people and her beliefs. Also, I just think it would be neat if we made Turkïye!Yusaf Kurdish.

7. Introduce us to your version of Noora

Mó Bafão (SKAM Brasil): Grace Lee

At the start of the show, (Marie Vitória Silva’s (Mó Bafão!Eva) season), Grace Lee is a new student at their school. Grace is Korean-Brasilian, and though her parents offered to send her to Colégio Polilogos (a South Korean international school in São Paulo), she chose to go to the school that she currently goes too, where she meets the Girl Gang. Grace is a super interesting character because though she grew up in Brasil, she also lived in Korea and the States, before moving back to São Paulo. Thus, Grace has curated her own cultural experience, which accounts for the fact that she doesn’t drink, smoke, party, have a boyfriend, or subscribe to traditional beauty standards. Grace would probably be considered fat/thick by most Asian (and Brasilian) standards. She is also quite tall for an Asian and doesn’t have the fair skin that is associated with Asian beauty standards. Grace kinds walks to the beat of her own drum, and because of that, Marie really admires Grace, which is one of the reasons for their tight bond. However, Mó Bafão!Vilde discounts this, believing that Grace’s decision to not drink, have sex, or conform to the standard of beauty is due to the conservative Korean culture or Grace’s family’s religious values. I think an important aspect of Grace’s character that I would like to point out is the place of privilege that Grace has, because she grew up over-seas she hasn’t had the same societal pressures in regards to beauty, partying, or sex that the rest of the girls have had, allowing her to be the character that stands up against it. Grace also is a total foodie and her Insta posts are entirely made up food. She also, posts these really cute Meokbang’s where she and one of her friends go out and try different foods in São Paulo.

Okay, so here’s where he run into a lot of trouble. Because, I hate the whole Magnusson brothers plot in the original show, and I much prefer what eskam did in that regards. However, I also know for fact that Brasil has a huge sexual violence problem, so... I feel like, I would *really* need to be *way* more educated to be able to tell a beautiful and honest storyline that deals into ideas of consent and what not in the Brasilian context, and I am just not there yet?

* tw for the season : sexual violence + slut shaming + fat shaming ** additional notes : Okay, so I would really enjoy is Grace lived at home with her family and you get to see her interacting with her family. In that scenerio, the Mó Bafão!Eskild would probably be a family member/family friend that lives with them. However, another option would be to make Grace be living in a homestay situation with Mó Bafão!Eskild being the host of the homestay. Another aspect that we could potentially go into is intimate partner violence, with Mó Bafão!Miquel being this super charasmatic dude, who buys Grace clothes to wear that she doesn’t like (they are tight + bright colours she doesn’t like) and encouraging her to diet, all the while talking about how much he likes her for not being like the other Brasilian girls. Mó Bafão!Mique would totally have a TikTok account where he would post one of those TikTok “pranks” that’s straight up emotional abuse. This is sees through Grace’s socials because she stops posting her foodie content and Meokbangs. However, the last social you see from Grace (at the end of her season) is a tiny Meokbang again (maybe with Mó Bafão!Alejandro).

SKAM India : Nana

Nana’s is from Nagaland, though her family has been staying overseas and have just moved to Bangalore. Nana is super close with her family, especially her father, who is her number one supporter. Nana’s family knows one of Anjali (my version of Eva) extended family. Nana and Anjali are really close. To some degree, Nana’s peers are a bit taken aback by her because she’s from the Nagaland, and there are some misconceptions about whether she is actually Indian. Nana is super smart and a bit of a know it all, which gets her in a lot of trouble at school. She is also super hardworking and lowkey the mom-friend of the group and just wants everyone to be okay. Due to this, she always wants people to be comfortable and treats them with kindness (which is great when it comes to India!Isak, but not when it comes to Kabir (India!Miquel).

So, I don’t know if you have already picked this up, but I am a huge fan of the way that eskam dealt with the Magnusson brother plot and the Miquel vs. Alejandro plot... And obviously, India has a huge issue with romanticising toxic relationships(looks pointedly at Arjun Reddy) and sexual violence.

So, that being said, in the first season we get an introduction to Kabir (my version of Miquel), who is this Delhi boy. He is a shameless flirt and flirts with everyone until he meets Nana. When she doesn’t reciprocate his affections, he focuses all of his attention on winning her over. For the first season, we see scenes of Nana and Kabir talking and it is all framed as harmless and funny, with them having a back and forth about how she doesn’t want to date him. We see, how annoyed she is by his advances, but it is pictured as almost romantical. However, when we delve into her season, we really see into just how much Kabir’s advances affect her, especially because she (though she is friendly with him) doesn’t want his advances, and he keeps playing it off as her “playing hard to get.” Due, to this, he continues to push Nana, whether it is to touch her against her will (hug her, attempt to play footsie with her, touch her face) or insert himself into her life (introduce himself to her family). Due to all of that, plus the fact that Kabir comes from a good family, Nana’s family and friends think 1) she is pretending to hate him (because she actually likes him) so they discount her words and 2) she is making a big deal because nothing actually happened (he didn’t actually “touch”/r*pe her). However, with the encouragement of her friends, India!Alejandro (if he exists) and her grandparents, she is able to stand up against Kabir and pushes him away.

* tw for the season : sexual harassment + victim blaming ** additional notes : Okay, so in the scenario where we establish India!Alejandro, I thought it would be *really* fun to kinda do a flip on what eskam established. Instead, of establishing Alejandro in the first season, and introducing Miquel later. We establish Kabir in Season 1 where we see their “love” unfold and what not... Then we see India!Alejandro in her season... And he is just so much of the opposite of Kabir, he is patient, and is always waiting for her to make the first move. They, also have a fun back and forth (that’s very reminiscent of the Pakistani film Cake), and when she tells the “Girl Gang” and India!Alejandro about Kabir, he immediately believes her and wants to help in any way (get in contact with his family friend in order to press charges).

GERAM (SKAM Malaysia) : Nor

Nor is Malay-Muslim, and would probably be what my Aunt would call a Modern Day Muslim, and what the government of Malaysia would call heretical. Nor, doesn’t always wear her hijab (only when she wants too), but is deeply religious and goes to the Mosque and prays and what not. She also helps out in the animal shelter with dogs (’causing a lot of her friends and family to believe that she is un-Islamic). She is a total activist and is constantly talking about the evils of conversion therapy (a thing that can be forced on gay Muslim folks in Malaysia), the treatment of Orang Asli, foreign immigrants, and the Indian community in Malaysia. At the start of the season, Nor has just moved back from New Zealand, which has created a lot of hub-bub in her friend group because they see her as totally fancy and such. Nor, is really close with her family, who she lives with. Nor and her mom were especially close when Nor was younger, but because of Nor going through the classic teenage drama stuff, their relationship is not as tight as it could be. Nor’s cousin (who is an out and proud gay man) and Nor’s maid combined become Geram!Eskild. Nor, kinda has that rich popular girl thing going for her (think the energy and vibes that Tina has in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai). She is kinda outspoken, which causes her a bit of drama because she sometimes (all the time) says things that get her into trouble. In Geram, I won’t be playing around. Nor, is constantly being harassed by this boy. To the point where it gets really depressed and causes her to lock herself in her room. Her maid Geram!Eskild, finds out about the assualt and tells Nor’s mother. Nor’s mom, finds out and presses charges against Geram!William.

* tw for the season : sexual harassment + victim blaming

** additional notes : Okay, so I have two things to say. I know that most versions of Noora focus on the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex/drink. However, I’m going to subvert that by having her not do that, but instead being such an activist and being willing to talk about “controversial” things thus causing people to give her the label of un-Islamic and slightly heretical. Additionally, victim-blaming is going to be a huge focus this season, with randoms blaming the assault on the fact that Nor doesn’t always wear the hijab + wears that red lipstick, or the idea that she its punishment because of her views. I also, know that most seasons focus on Noora dealing with her issues by herself... however, I really want Nor to have to lean on her family in this time. Lastly, I would probably combine both Magnusson brothers into one person, and have them be Eurasian, making all the girls want him (because of that white-worshipping). Additionally, because he is a rich he tells everyone that Nor wanted it, and frames it as her asking for it. However, everyone that is important in Nor’s life believes her and knows that he is an idiot (even as he posts defamatory things about her on the socials).

#skam #skammaker #skam malaysia #skam india #skam brasil #SKAM TURKÏYE #someone ask me about my versions of Yusaf #or William

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writingwithcolor · 5 years

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White-Passing, Americanized Latina

I’m a grad student and aspiring author living and studying in California, and am a white-passing Latina. I was born to a Mexican mother (who is somewhat Americanized) and a white father from the Midwest. For about half my life, I never questioned my identity as Mexican; I just was. That changed when I moved to a suburb where the majority of the population was either white or Mexican, and it was very black/white. Still, all my life I grew up speaking Spanish and English, eating Mexican food, and performing some Mexican traditions like making tamales for Christmas and las posadas.

Daily Struggles

The university I attend is in a majority-white, conservative area of California, and, because I’m white-passing, I hear so many racist comments. Sometimes, people even try to make racist jokes in front of me (I usually never hang out with them again). They think because I’m white, I’ll understand their views on deportation or immigrants, but I don’t. Thankfully, I do have friends who know I’m Mexican American (or of Mexican descent, if you want to phrase it that way), and they treat me as Mexican.

It’s also such a struggle being taken seriously by some members of the Latinx community. I’m told I look too white, and I’m self conscious because I have a bit of an American accent when I speak Spanish now. I’m really into the #ownvoices movement, but find it hard to connect because many talk about skin color and I’m, at best, tan.

Dating and Relationships

I’m in my 20s now and I can say I’ve never dated anyone. It doesn’t help that I’m completely oblivious to all flirting, and I identify as ace. It was hard growing up, and is even now, because as the oldest out of my cousins, everyone expected me to date and it… just didn’t happen. While my family and extended family is mostly Catholic, they’re all fine with LGBTQ+ people and are very open-minded. Still, when they come over for holidays and ask me where my boyfriend is, it gets very awkward. My grandmas, especially, has accepted I will probably never marry, but she still wants me to have kids so I’m not “lonely.”

The only cool thing about coming out to my parents and brother (who are the only ones who know) is that my mom is now telling me family stories about how her father’s sisters never married, or wanted to, either. She thinks maybe they were ace, but since that’s not a thing in Mexico, they just called themselves spinsters and lived with their brother.

Holidays/Religion

We celebrate the usual Catholic holidays like Christmas, Lent, and Easter. I’m not Catholic anymore, which was hard when I told my mom, but I still like the sense of tradition and comfort it brings me. Now I’m more “spiritual” I guess, if you had to label it. I’ve been teaching myself tarot and dream interpretation. I’m still very drawn to Mary of the Seven Sorrows and the Sacred Heart imagery though. I’ve even considered getting tattoos of one of them.

Identity Issues

As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t really have any identity issues until around 8th or 9th grade. My family moved to this different neighborhood beginning my 6th grade year, but it wasn’t until 8th grade I noticed anything different. As much as I’m ashamed to admit, I became one of those girls who said she wouldn’t date Mexicans because they reminded me of my cousin. The first time I said that to my mom, I got a full-blown lecture. After that, I never said it again. Thankfully, I’ve learned better and got rid of this idea before it stuck.

In high school and college is when my identity issues really hit hard. High school, I was surrounded by people of various cultures, so it wasn’t as noticeable, but I did feel a small sense of disconnect. I was reading and writing stories with white people in them, people who looked more like the ones I saw everyday than myself.

In college, it was somewhat liberal and this was around the time that #ownvoices was taking off. There were so many people who were proud and embracing of their culture and it really opened my eyes to both micro-aggressions and connecting to a culture. Since then I have struggled with how to identify myself. As an aspiring author, I want to write #ownvoices too, but I’ve had some people tell me I might be “too white” and “too Americanized” to do so. It really hurts, because deep down I really feel Mexican but don’t feel proud to show it because I’m not the right kind. This has really affected my self-esteem, especially in telling others I’m Mexican. I look nothing like my cousins, who are darker than I am. It just feels like I’ll always be the “guera.”

Things I’d like to see less of

feisty latinas - I’m feisty myself, but I feel this trope has been overused as sexist and exotifying. Show me people who are human.

the mistress/latin lover - I hate this with a passion. Not only is it bad representation, it literally only shows Latinx as sexy objects instead of people.

the maid/gardener - another trope I highly dislike. True, many Latinx do work working class jobs, but that doesn’t mean all of them do!

making it in america - there are a lot of families trying to make it in America, but this trope is used a lot as a cheap plot and for cheap emotional thrill. I’d like to see more Latinx families just living a normal, middle class life.

Things I’d like to see more of

Latinx in fantasy!! - I would be so excited if I saw more Latinx-based fantasy. Not just the characters, but the culture and landscape too. I feel like some people are so dismissive of landscape because they think Mexico is all desert, but that’s not true!

Latinx as main characters in YA - I know there are some books out there, but I’m still disappointed in the selection of Latinx characters in YA. And when I do see them in shows or books, they’re usually the sidekick.

Latinx diversity!! - there are so many different kinds of Latinx out there. I’d like to see more than just Mexican or Puerto Rico or Cuban. What about Afro-Latinx or white-Latinx? Even other mixed Latinx!

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unsureofreligionname · 4 years

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This was meant to be me venting, but accidentally became a history of my relationship with religion instead.

Alright. So.

Came here to talk about religion because I have no outlet. If you don't want to hear it, just block me. I'm not trying to convert anyone, I'm just explaining things to see if anyone has a feckin name for my damn belief system, because I really want to avoid accidentally starting a religion or something and pissing everyone off more.

People who got pissy last time got on my ass about how I probably wasn't even ethnically jewish, so here's the whole story.

I was raised by a mother who was raised by a non-practicing jewish mother, both of whom converted to christianity in the late nineties, shortly before I was born. They're ethnically jewish, or so I'm told.

Not super related, but, in case it comes up later, I was raised with the belief that my mother's family is a long line of very careful psychics, which roughly means "a lot of the family is sensitive to spirit shit but avoids it like the plague because it's scary."

I was raised by a father who is, as far as I know, not ethnically jewish. He's of mixed asian heritage, so i guess maybe, but I'm going to assume he's not. His parents, however, were both religiously Jewish; my grandmother was adopted and raised Jewish, and my grandfather converted sometime between meeting and marrying my grandmother. They are reform. My father wasn't the most religious guy in the world, but, if you asked, he'd probably either make a joke about ohio state football or say that he was jewish.

I was raised by my father and mother together until I was seven. We didn't always consistently go to church in early childhood, but my mother did take me to two or three for months or years at a time during the 2-5 period. We celebrated christmas and easter, and i had an illustrated children's bible that, if I remember right, was split into two parts: the first was marketed to christian and jewish kids, and the latter- new testament- to christian kids. Guessing the marketing from the publishing organizations. I think I had a few other religious books and videotapes directed towards kids, both jewish and christian. I specifically remember one that illustrated mana as vanilla wafers for some reason. At seven, my parents divorced, and I primarily lived with my dad.

My dad didn't take me anywhere on the regular, but when I visited his parents for the full weekend, they'd take me to the synagogue. This was every couple of weeks. We celebrated major jewish holidays, but smaller festivals only really got a mention. When I was ten, my dad and stepmother married. She wasn't really religious, but her parents were christian, so christmas was back on our roster then, too.

I started going to hebrew school in 6th grade, but I didn't actually have a bar mitzvah because I ended up getting kicked out at around the time I turned 13 due to a whole thing about me going trick or treating when I was "too old" or whatever, shitty parents, so I ended up having to go live with my mom after that.

At this point, my mom was studying to become a youth pastor, and enrolled me into a local christian school with about a hundred students. Unfortunately, this ended up being a weird fundamentalist cult with its own textbooks and teachings, including that bacteria was not real, AIDS was a summoned by The Gays™ to kill all the christians, evolution was a conspiracy meant to dissuade people from religion, et cetera. It was fucking bizarre, at one point they called several of us posessed for being autistic and otherwise neurodivergent, and they categorized us students into the groups wise, fools, simple, and scorners. (I was a fool, by the way.) It was really not ideal, and the weird punishments were pretty traumatic. There was some weird brainwashy type word repetition involved with lookatthepersonsayokayanddothetask over and over and over, and it sucked.

So, I was at that school for about 18 months before they kicked me out for refusing to stand on one foot for an extended period of time after tapping my foot in class which caused a student who disliked me to complain.

At the same time, my mother was working at a small church out of town that wasn't exactly a cult, but I think the pastor kind of wanted it to be? It was like he wanted the cult aesthetic™ and devoted followers and shit, but only had the skill to make a really sketchy and toxic small town church with a lot of people sitting on blankets on the floor instead. That church honestly wasn't a big part of my life the way the fucked cult was, I just sort of went most weeks. I went to a confirmation class there- I'm pretty sure it was a methodist church- and got confirmed into it shortly before my mother left because the administration was weird in like an asshole way, and that was the last I knew of it.

I was homeschooled for a while during the end of this period due to all of the school stuff. Religiously, by this point in my life, I'd developed some of my own beliefs. I believed in most of the new testament and most of the torah, but I didn't have much exposure to the talmud or much of a comprehensive education in any religion. I think I read a bible cover to cover at least once as a kid, including some shitty commentary (it was a preteen bible) that gave me some internalized homophobia issues for actual years. I was also super curious about the paranormal but terrified of possession- remember the cult?- and I was curious about the idea of some people being reincarnated if they were needed on earth again. Not sure where exactly that idea came from, but it was there. People told me from a lot of sides that those with the wrong religion would go to hell, and the cult tried to teach us all to convert people at any opportunity, but, after leaving, the whole situation just made me massively uncomfortable. I did continue to practice the jewish traditions I knew how to do on my own- like hannukah and a weird private sort of passover- and my mother would support this by getting me what I needed for it, even though she didn't participate and I didn't go to any place of worship during holidays.

After getting kicked out of school not that long after adjusting to not seeing my dad or siblings on his side, we moved. My dad lost custody at some point and we no longer had to live close, so we moved and tried to find a better school. It was a Catholic grade school this time, and I was there for about six months, if I had to guess. It was actually a pretty good school, but I had some issues at the time, so I didn't enjoy it much. I was scared of teachers and administration by then, and I had trouble going the entire school day without panicking or not being able to work. There was a period of a week or two in which I didn't speak at school at all. We ended up settling on half days, and, after that, I did well.

The religion class was awkward. The other kids seemed to know more than me even though I'd thought I had a good grasp on religion at that point, and the little information we shared I'd been taught from a very different perspective. Everyone was very nice to me, but I definitely stood out as the kid who wasn't catholic at that point.

Chapel was even weirder. We had to go every wednesday during school, and catholic churches had so many traditions I didn't know about, and the stuff I knew about from either my jewish grandparents or protestant churches had a different name for some reason.

I'm looking at you, sacraments.

Anyway.

I don't think I got much out of the chapel, but religion classes were kind of cool. I liked learning about stuff I hadn't heard before, and the things that were the same were a comfort.

Soon, though, I was graduating eighth grade. I ended up going to a catholic high school. I was still out of place, but I at least had a basic idea of what to do during the mass this school had monthly.

I liked the religion classes here more, how they were an open discussion of everyone's opinions and experiences, and I liked that both of the most recent schools I'd gone to had actual textbooks with facts and studies in them. There were more kids there who weren't catholic, and I felt more comfortable to actually explore religious topics with people. I had a better understanding of catholic beliefs, a decent idea of their traditions, and could recognize at least a few of their holidays I couldn't have before.

I spent my last year of high school at a public career center to start working towards a medical career.

Now, my current beliefs. If you don't want to read it, then just don't.

I haven't been to any place of worship since my school required it, but I do have strong beliefs. I believe in one God (which I generally write all the way out after a billion essays for religion class) who created everything and watches over humans, which he made in his image, etc etc etc. I believe the old stories from the tanakh/old testament/don't care what you call it and the new- yes, including the key messiah bit- though I do think it wasn't all translated perfectly and that it was written by humans who made mistakes and poor decisions sometimes in their writing. I believe people's salvation comes through their intention, not through a piece of knowledge or a creed or good deeds or a tradition, and I believe different people worshipping in different ways is how it should be, because different people NEED different styles of worship. I believe that if someone is genuinely mistaken and incorrect in who or what they believe in, it doesn't MATTER because it's the intention to strive to do good and not harm fellow people that counts. I'm a little guarded about sharing my own beliefs, hence why I made an anonymous tumblr account, but I'm generally very curious to hear about what other people believe. I find that, for me, celebrating Jewish holidays and traditions helps me get closer to God, and I'd like to find a place of worship one day, but churches fucking terrify me now. I worship best by sitting and discussing beliefs, but I have no place to do it now that I've graduated school. I also developed some of my less related beliefs now: I believe in a lot of old stories that have popped up around the world, like fairies of various places, different creatures and entities and things that have become the subject of curiosity or worship, spirits and things, etc. I think many of these creatures exist, just that they may be different from us in the nature of how they interact with the world and matter and that, and I don't think they're deities or anything. I believe in ghosts of humans in some cases, too, though I believe sometimes other things mimic them. I don't find the idea of God having someone reincarnated if he wants the same soul to play many parts in the world unlikely at all, though that's really just me speculating. I still believe in demons, and I still don't want anything to do with them.

A lot of my understanding of things comes from Jewish, Catholic, and Protestant teaching in a strange mishmosh of culture and religion.

I relate to a lot of things directed at Jewish people, and I understand what's directed at Catholic people. Things directed at Protestant people are both understood and, unfortunately, make me instinctively wary due to weird cult trauma (that in no way reflects on actual protestant people, i love you guys some people just suck and twist religion) so are hard to interact with.

In a lot of ways, I'd consider myself Jewish. Culturally, at least, if my religious beliefs aren't "validly jewish" or whatever.

I have literally zero actual connections to any Catholic church, but I almost feel like a weird half-catholic. That's not a thing, but it's how it feels. I believe a lot of it, and I'm interested in all of it, even if I have my disagreements, plus I understand the environments and culture of it, even if I'm a bit of an outsider.

A year- or maybe two years, idk- ago, I mentioned some upcoming holiday or smth in a post and tagged it messianic. That's the closest name I could find for my experience, but apparently some organizations who use the term suck or something. I ended up getting a bunch of asks calling me a predatory fake jew or a fundamentalist christian trying to appropriate judaism or other weird shit that I'm NOT DOING. Because of my experiences in the past, those comments still weigh so damn heavy on my that I broke my resolve and made this stupid account to complain about it.

I don't have a name for what I am. I don't know where to go to talk about my beliefs with people, or what environment I could find to actually practice whatever weird faith I've dreamt up with other people in a way that isn't just picking part of what I believe and leaving the rest to rot. I feel closer to God and more spiritually fulfilled practicing the festivals that call back to what the Jewish people of old went through, but I also believe in the messiah of the new testament, and I like to read the pope's opinion on things, even though I think no human is perfect or infallible. I want to talk about old writings with people and discuss what they mean, from my religion or others, and I don't want to give any of what's right for me spiritually up.

I don't know what this post is for.

Maybe I'm just venting, but I do want to know if this is a thing or if I'm the only one with this belief system. I'm sick of getting shit for the actions of people who I'm not affiliated with, so apparently calling myself messianic doesn't cut it. I can't call myself "spiritual but not religious" either, because I'm very religious, it's just very personal and not something I shove at people, and "christian" doesn't describe a solid half of what I believe. Off and on again I've considered converting to Catholicism, but I think that's kind of grasping at the closest thing that won't piss off tumblr anons as much. (And yeah, the larger Catholic church can suck, but I honestly think I'm gonna get that with any religion with a large following)

Rambling aside:

I want to find a short description that hits the major points of what I believe in order to help me find a place or group of worship that actually matches my spiritual needs without compromising the cultures that I grew up with and making me feel like shit.

(Also don't try to change my beliefs thanks)

I'll be tagging this with anything I've mentioned or vaguely heard of that might be related so relax ok

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richincolor · 4 years

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Everyone, please welcome Ismée Williams to Rich in Color! Ismée’s book, THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD, is out on February 11th. We are every excited to have Ismée here to talk about it:

When private school student Isabelle Warren first meets Dominican-American Alex Rosario on the downtown 1 train, she remembers his green eyes and his gentlemanly behavior. He remembers her untroubled happiness, something he feels all rich kids must possess. That, and her long dancer legs. Over the course of multiple subway encounters spanning the next three years, Isabelle learns of Alex’s struggle with his father, who is hell-bent on Alex being a contender for the major leagues, despite Alex’s desire to go to college and become a poet. Alex learns about Isabelle’s unstable mother, a woman with a prejudice against Latino men. But fate—and the 1 train—throw them together when Isabelle needs Alex most. Heartfelt and evocative, this romantic drama will appeal to readers of Jenny Han and Sarah Dessen.

THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD has been likened to a modern-day retelling of West Side Story. The secret is, I didn’t start out with that intention. My inspiration for THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD was the jungle that is the great city of New York, how individuals from opposite extremes of life can pass each other on the street or be smushed together in a crowded subway. I loved the idea of putting two teens together in a train car who otherwise wouldn’t cross paths and exploring what would happen. I thought of what they would look like, what they would have in common and what would differ between them. That ended up being a girl, Isa, who’s privileged in the traditional sense, blessed with money, beauty, and talent, and a boy, Alex, who’s less so, because of who his parents are and where they were born. Alex has his own privileges, to be sure–his own beauty, his own talent, and the love and support of his mom and step-mom. But one of his wounds is that strangers make assumptions about him because of what he looks like–a massively tall, very fit, brown-skinned boy. He is definitely the ‘Maria’ character in the West Side Story trope.

THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD shares West Side Story’s message of tolerance. I read somewhere that the creators of the famous musical, composer Leonard Berstein, idea-man and choreographer Jerome Robbins, book writer Arther Laurents and lyricist Stephen Sondheim, originally intended for the conflict to be between rival Catholic and Jewish gangs on the East Side. In August of 1955 the Los Angeles times ran an article, “Six Jailed in Fight Death”, detailing how the leader of a Latino gang had been killed in a fight outside a teen dance hall. After reading this, writer Laurents suggested changing the gangs in the musical to white and Puerto Rican. That’s when interest and funding took off. It’s interesting to consider the show could have been East Side Story! I didn’t see the original Broadway musical, of course (I wasn’t born yet!) but I do remember watching the movie and the conflicting emotions it made me feel. I loved the power of the romance, the idea that love could rise above existing prejudices. As a dancer, I was drawn to the choreography and the music, especially the scenes that celebrated Latinx experience. My abuela was too. I can still hear her high heels clicking against the terra cotta tiles of our kitchen floor as she merengued to the music. But the movie also crystalized for me that society viewed being Latinx as undesireable. I saw the film over twenty years after it had won ten Academy Awards, including Best Picture, so I consider it to be terribly outdated. As the child of a Cuban immigrant and a white protestant from New Jersey, I was biased into believing things had changed and that it was easier for my parents than it was for Tony and Maria. I was naive, of course. Couples like Isa and Alex still face challenges, which is something I wanted to explore in THIS TRAIN. But I really wanted to show that love is love and that it is powerful. It might be inconvenient to fall for someone people don’t expect you to be with, but it should never be wrong.

Like West Side Story, THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD revolves around the star-crossed lovers. I intended to show not just Alex and Isa’s attraction, but also their connection which arises from what they share: their passions for dance and baseball and poetry, their love and dedication to their families, and how they both try very, very hard to live up to the expectations of those around them. But I wanted to highlight their attraction, that insistent tug that pulls them together and makes it difficult for them to put the other out of their mind. I hope the reader feels the same draw to the characters and their plight that I felt when I watched West Side Story. For that to happen, there has to be more than just attraction. We need to see the tension, that thing that tears the lovers apart. Just like in West Side Story, there are many external factors that threaten the lovers. Isa’s mother, even though she’s Cuban, doesn’t want her daughter to date a Latino because she grew up with a cheating father. Alex’s friends think he should date a Dominican girl from the Heights, not a blondie from the Upper East Side. One even considers him a traitor. Another friend of Alex’s gets drawn into a Dominican gang, which provides even more parallels to West Side Story. There are internal factors that work against the lovers as well, though here the plot is more Shakespeare than West Side Story, with tragic misunderstandings that stem from not being fully honest with one another. And of course, fate plays its own role. There is another big difference between THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD and West Side Story but I cannot share it without spoiling too much!

I read that the music of the famous America dance scene, sung by EGOT-winning Rita Moreno, doesn’t have roots in Puerto Rico. The rhythms are those of a haupango, a folk dance from Mexico. Just as West Side Story hold up the ideal of the US as a big melting pot and incorporated different elements of Latin rhythms, THIS TRAIN IS BEING HELD looks at New York as a place where everyone can belong and explores the spectrum of Latinx identity and Latinx families. I hope readers enjoy the ride!

Ismée Williams is a pediatric cardiologist by day and an accomplished author by night. Her first book with Abrams, Water in May, was released in 2017 to critical acclaim. She lives in New York City.

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jonah-cartwright · 4 years

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JONAH CARTWRIGHT (HARRIS DICKINSON) is a 17 year old JUNIOR student at Broadripple Academy. HE is originally from ROCKLAND , MAINE but moved to Broadripple 3 YEARS ago. HE is COMPASSIONATE and DEDICATED but can also be INSECURE and WEAK-WILLIED.

1. Full Name?

Jonah Charles Cartwright

2. Preferred Names or Nicknames

Jonah usually works just fine but his older sister took to calling him Joanie when they were kids and never really stopped , not that he’d ever tell anybody that.

3. What does their name mean? Does it have any significance in their family? Do they like their name?

Jonah means dove in Hebrew , not that Jonah or his parents know that and if Jonah did know that he’d hate it for being too soft..But his name meaning a symbol for peace does fit him as a character. Basically Biblical or virtue names are just a family tradition and John and Marie Cartwright wanted something slightly unusual.Jonah doesn’t really have any strong opinions on his name.It’s another part of his parents authority that he doesn’t question.

4. Age and Date of Birth?

17 and July 25th

5. Gender and Pronouns?

Cis male and he/him

6. Hometown?

Rockland , Maine.

7. Does your character fit into any well known archetypes or tropes?

Repressed gay Catholic and closeted manly manly jock are the most stereotypical tropes you can think of but I have big feelings about them so here we are lads throwing my hat into the ring.Some other tropes I associate with him are The Heart , Team Mom , Stepford Smiler , “Well Done , Son!Guy” and lastly he has Catholic Guilt out the wazoo

8. How long have they been at Broadripple?

Jonah’s been at Boradripple since the beginning of Freshman year.

9. What led them to apply to Broadripple? Was it a decision made by them or by their parents/guardians or somewhere in between?

His parents are the type of people that graduated from high school then immediately settled down and got minimum wage jobs.They wanted ‘better’ for their kids and for them to see more parts of the world so they made their oldest child apply for a scholarship to Broadripple , it seemed like it would give her a good education and give her those good pure Catholic morals.When she came back with good grades and apparently good fearing they had no choice but to continue the cycle and try to get their only son to there.

10. Whether they’ve been at Broadripple four days or four years, do they enjoy it?

Jonah enjoys Broadripple.He isn’t great at academics but he’s found his niche through athletics and has a bunch of good friends.

11. What house are they in? Do they care very much about their house?

Jonah is in Fenwick and takes the inter-house competitions very seriously.He wants to prove himself to his housemates and make sure he does well for them.

12. Who do they share a dorm with, or are they on their own for the moment? What are they like to live with? Are they clean or messy? Early risers or night owls?

Jonah shares a dorm with Ezra Bergman he thinks he’s kind of a weirdo but does his best to be friendly.In Jonah’s mind everybody has more to offer and hidden depths.Jonah’s extremely organised and makes sure’s nothing out of place and all of his stuff is on his side.However , he’s kind of a terrible roommate because he sneaks out at the crack of dawn to jog every morning.When the suns up he’s up.

13. How is your character’s dorm decorated? Is it bare or bursting at the seems with personality? Any particular sentimental items from home?

His dorm is fairly minimalist.He doesn’t really have an eye for decorating and doesn’t really see the point.But he does like to stick photos up.He printed out a photo of him and Maggie after she went missing.

14. What is their favourite subject at school? Do they even have a favourite? Why?

Academics are a sore spot for him.As much as Jonah tries he struggles to grasp non-literal concepts and remember things for exams.But he thinks ASL is important and enjoys learning it.He also finds PE easy and excels at that.

15. Are they involved in any clubs? Which ones?

Jonah is involved in Sacristan Club.

16. How does your character feel about Broadripple’s Unofficial Clubs? Do they know about them? Are they a part of any of them?

Jonah became a pledge for the BBC because he thought it was a good way to fit in and gain him popularity.He puts a lot of effort into being one of the boys.He doesn't pay much attention to the other two clubs because it would be social suicide.

17. Does your character participate in any sports? If so, what made them join the team?

Jonah is a fullback for the boys hockey team , defender for the soccer team and apart of the swim team.He joined those teams because he feels like sports give him a purpose , make him feel calm and are the one thing he’s really good at.

18. What afternoon activities does your character do? Do they just do the one mandatory one or are they involved in multiple? Why?

19. Do they miss their home when they’re at Broadripple? Do they often go home for the weekends or do they only go home during holiday breaks.

When he’s at Broadripple he misses not being by the coast.Jonah goes home every couple of weeks because regular trips home would be costly and he has a difficult relationship with his dad.

20. Did your character know Izzy De Santis or Maggie Monroe?

He was pretty friendly with both of them thanks to the Unofficial Chastity Clubs.He felt pretty bad for Izzy after he gained his infamous reputation from that night in the woods.Jonah didn’t really think Izzy deserved it and just thought he was a troubled guy.Jonah thought Maggie was lovely and misses her like mad.He doesn’t have much involvement with the Unsolved club and thinks the whole king is disrespectful.

21. Has your character heard of Edith Lynch? Do they know the story?

His knowledge of Edith comes from the usual rumours that haunt the school.He tries not to think about what happened because it’s disturbing and makes him uneasy.

22. How does your character feel about Nighmore? Have they noticed the recently closed shops yet

Jonah used to spend a lot of time in Nightmore and made it his second home in a way but after Maggie disappeared he tried to avoid it as much as possible.

23. Have you made any aesthetic Pinterest boards/WeHeartIt collections for this character? Or playlists? Anything you would like to share!

Here’s the pinterest for my boy.Hopefully some of the plot inspo stuff inspires you guys.

#my laptops being a pain so no gifs #bahq:task1 #ooc-reuben rambles

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humansofhds · 5 years

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Julia Hintlian, MTS ′18 and Harvard PhD Candidate

"I’ve spent time in the Republic of Armenia, and in 'Western Armenia' (now Eastern Turkey). A lot of our churches have been desecrated and destroyed, and those of us who are fortunate to survive have a responsibility not only to know what we’ve lost, but to know that what we have inherited is valuable."

Julia graduated in 2018 with an MTS from HDS. She is now a rising doctoral student in religion at Harvard. This past summer, she taught at the seminary of the Armenian Patriarchate of Jerusalem.

Formations of My Identity

My doctoral degree is in the history of Christianity, and I am working on the influences of Manichaeism and Zoroastrianism on Syriac and Armenian Christianity in Late Antiquity. My master’s degree is in Silk Road Religions, an individualized area of focus that included the same subjects I am studying now—as well as some other, lesser studied traditions like the religion of the Yazidis of Northern Iraq, and Ismailism, a sect of Shia Islam. During my undergraduate degree in religious studies at the University of Pennsylvania, I focused on Hinduism and Islam. So, I arrived at the history of Christianity by studying many other traditions through the lens of “world religions.”

My mom got an MTS when I was in high school, and she would come home from her classes and talk to my 14-and-15-year-old self about what she was learning. She encouraged me to ask questions that I was not taught to ask in school, like: Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? What have writers over millennia had to say in answer to these questions?

I am ethnically Armenian, baptized in the Armenian Apostolic Church. The Armenian Church is ancient, and we are an ancient people with a rich religious history, strongly identified by our Oriental Orthodoxy. The traditional date of our conversion is 301 AD, which we claim makes us the oldest Christian nation in the world. This legacy has also been a big factor in my identity and my decision to study religion. Prior to being Christian, the Armenians were Zoroastrian, and our Zoroastrianism was somewhat unique from Persian Zoroastrianism. So, I think I have a lot to be proud of in terms of Armenia’s long-term historical, religious legacy, which has “evolved” to reach me over the course of many generations.

I feel that I have a responsibility to all the people who came before me to take my scholarship seriously. Especially on the Armenian side, because two thirds of our population was wiped out one hundred years ago in the Armenian Genocide of 1915. Those of us who remain must carry this identity into the future. I’ve spent time in the Republic of Armenia, and in “Western Armenia” (now Eastern Turkey). A lot of our churches have been desecrated and destroyed, and those of us who are fortunate to survive have a responsibility not only to know what we’ve lost, but to know that what we have inherited is valuable.

Teaching at the Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin

I have lived in Armenia on two separate occasions, and on a third occasion I traveled to Western Armenia. My family is Western Armenian. The Western Armenians lived under the Byzantine and later Ottoman Empires, and the Eastern Armenians lived under the Persian and later Russian Empires. The dialects are a bit different; they are mutually intelligible, but Western Armenian is more influenced by Arabic and Turkish, and Eastern Armenian is more influenced by Persian and Russian. Culturally, Eastern and Western Armenians are a bit different, too. It is a very complex history!

Last summer, I was teaching at the Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin, the center of the Armenian Church, which is located in Vagharshapat, half an hour outside of Yerevan, the capital city of Armenia. I taught in the Gevorgian Seminary, which is where they train the next generation of clergy. I was mostly teaching deacons, and my courses were “English for Theological Reading” and “Introductory Syriac Language.” We read Irenaeus of Lyon’s second-century Demonstration of the Apostolic Preaching in my English class, and we talked about the theology. I picked this text because it was basically lost to history for many centuries, and then it reappeared in Armenian translation (from the original Greek) in 1904.

In Communion

As Armenians, I think it is very important to know that we are in communion with the Syriac Orthodox Church. The Oriental Orthodox Churches, which are unfortunately very understudied in Western academia, are the Syriac Orthodox Church, the Armenian Apostolic Church, the Coptic Orthodox Church, the Ethiopian and Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Churches, and the Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church of India. We have been in communion for many centuries, and these communities are often located in places that are not (or historically have not been) safe, and yet we have kept our faith and traditions alive. I think it is important to have inter-community relations, and that is one reason I study Syriac. I still have much to learn from my advisor, Professor Charles Stang, but I thought that it was important for these deacons to have at least a taste of Syriac, so they might one day find common ground with Syriac priests. Common language encourages the exchange of ideas!

It was very meaningful for me a few years ago when our HDS Syriac lecturer took us to a service at the local Syriac church. When they discovered I was Armenian, they said, “Why didn’t you take communion with us? We would have been so happy to have you!” And they were speaking to me in Armenian and really making an effort to welcome me and to let me know they were happy to have me in their church.

Each Oriental Orthodox Church has its own leaders and hierarchy, but the leaders of those churches are in contact with each other. The Armenian Church has a Catholicos for its spiritual leader (actually there are two Catholicoi, but that’s a complicated story!) and then two Patriarchs, in Jerusalem and Istanbul.

Shedding Light

Orthodox Christianity in general is understudied in America, but even when we do refer to Orthodox Christianity, we are usually talking about Eastern Orthodoxy, which has its own rich heritage and tradition and history. I think it would be good for more light to be shed on Oriental Orthodoxy.

In the History of Christianity track here, there are people who have had very limited exposure to Oriental Orthodox history and theology. Many scholars of Christianity know that the “Miaphysite” Oriental Orthodox Churches broke away from the fourth ecumenical Council of Chalcedon in 451, but they know little of our history after that. Christianity is such a massive tradition, with so many iterations all over the world, but the Oriental Orthodox Churches are very ancient, most of them have been around since the very early Christian period, and they have survived many trials and tribulations. Right now, the Coptic Church is facing significant persecution in Egypt, and my students in Armenia expressed concern over this situation. Armenians know what it is like to feel unsafe and to work to preserve our faith at all costs.

There are a few reasons these traditions are understudied in the West. The theological breaks are very old, and the churches are very small (especially compared to Catholic and Protestant denominations). Linguistically, they are difficult to access; there are few people who know Classical Armenian and can teach it—same with Classical Syriac, Coptic, and Ethiopic. These are obscure languages, and culturally foreign, which makes them more obscure and less accessible than languages like Greek or Latin.

It’s interesting to study Christianity right now, because some people seem to be saying it is a Eurocentric tradition of oppression and colonialism. When I hear that, I wonder how much people know about Christianity outside the West, and I feel compelled to say that this is a very diverse tradition, with a unifying theology and ideology that is manifest in many different cultural settings. But I do find in Protestantism and Catholicism a narrative that I believe in, and I look positively on these traditions because though there are linguistic and cultural differences, I think we are aspiring to the same truth.

The Catholic Church and the Armenian Church are two examples of churches that have been finding common ground recently, and I see beauty in that. In 2015, for the centennial of the Armenian Genocide, Pope Francis named one of the great Armenian theologians and spiritual fathers, Grigor Narekatsi/Gregory of Narek (10th/11th c.), as a Doctor of the Church, and erected a statue of him in the Vatican. The Armenian Catholicoi and Armenian political leaders were present for this special moment.

A Priceless Heritage

I spend a lot of time with my head in books from the fifth century, reading things that happened a long time ago. But it is also very important to me to care for the modern iterations of the traditions that I study. Their continuing survival and existence inspires me. To this end, I’ve done a little bit of work for the United States Commission on International Religious Freedom in Washington D.C. as well.

Tur Abdin is a region in Turkey with a lot of Syriac monasteries. Unfortunately, the Turkish government has been trying to seize some of these properties, including the fourth-century Mar Gabriel monastery. Unless you can appreciate what happened at Mar Gabriel hundreds of years ago, the theology, spirituality, and history created there, you might say, “Why does it matter if the Turkish government takes it away?” But if you know its religious significance, you know why it is worth preserving.

I often contemplate what my ancestors would think of me, especially two of my great-grandmothers, Antaram and Sultan, who managed to escape Armenia with their children after their husbands were killed in the genocide. I hope they are proud of me, I hope they know that they passed a heritage to me that is priceless and beautiful, and I hope they know that I am doing everything I can to defend it.

Interview and photos by Anais Garvanian

#armenia #Religion #Religious Studies #Harvard #Harvard Divinity School #syria #turkey #catholic #roman catholic #Christianity #Coptic Christians

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ayearofpike · 6 years

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Road to Nowhere

Pocket Books, 1993 212 pages, 14 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-74508-5 LOC: CPB Box no. 700 vol. 15 OCLC: 27485847 Released February 1, 1993 (per B&N)

Scorned by her parents, spurned by her boyfriend, shoved aside by her best friend, Teresa Chafey is on the run. She hops in her car and heads into the night with only the vaguest of destinations: north. Before she gets too far, she picks up a pair of hitchhikers, and they exchange stories of life’s unfair endings as they drive. But as Teresa drives, she gets sicker, and she learns more about the two strangers in her car and how they got there, and she begins to realize that there’s one big ending awaiting her unless she can forgive and move on.

I didn’t remember much about this story from my early reads, but I do remember liking it. It’s interesting that I never came back to this one very much, because it does seem to be right up my alley: minimal characters, single point of view, realistic settings, just a hair of the supernatural. I also greatly appreciate on re-read how the whole thing takes place in Teresa’s dream state. Yeah, this is a cliche, but the structure holds up. Some of these “it was all a dream” type books don’t have enough weight in the narrative to get by without a lot of explanation either before or after, but Road to Nowhere gives us what we need in the middle. And a big part of that is the storytelling mechanic employed by the characters.

It would be easy to have a story about telling stories feel a little dry and inorganic (and as I recall, we’ll get there soon enough), but because these stories are autobiographical (yes, it’s obvious that the hitchers are talking about themselves, even though they’ve assumed names) it feels important and natural. A contributing factor might be the in media res beginning, with Teresa storming out to her car and taking off before we even actually know what’s upsetting her. She picks up her hitchers, Freedom Jack and Poppy Corn (seriously), just before the freeway on-ramp, and each spins a story of lost love and life lessons.

Rather than break this down chapter by chapter, I’m going to summarize each character’s stories. Lucky for you, reader, this format doesn’t lend to as long a post as I often subject you to.

I’ll start with Teresa, since it’s her fault we’re in this car in the first place. She’s also the only one to talk openly about herself. She describes meeting her boyfriend at the mall while Christmas shopping, and how he gets her talking about herself like she’s never really done with anyone else. In fact, he gets her to play guitar and sing for him when she is afraid to perform anything for anybody. We’re led to understand that this comes from her mom not thinking anything she does is ever good enough, and so she hides things from her parents, including this talent. But her boyfriend thinks she’s so good that he gets her in as a performer at a nightclub, and her best friend wants to come and see her too. Of course, while Teresa is up on stage she can’t supervise the budding relationship between her two companions, and they fall for each other. The last thing Teresa remembers before getting in the car and driving off was going to her boyfriend’s house with a knife and seeing the two in each other’s arms.

Free goes next. He describes a gifted yet hot-headed young man named John, who falls in love with a girl named Candy and helps her cheat her way through school. Unfortunately, he gets caught helping her, and rather than take his lumps and move on, he beats up the teacher and goes to juvenile hall. When he gets out, his college options have been wiped away, and so he takes a job in a bakery, where he comes up with efficient solutions to economize production. Unfortunately, his manager is a dick. Not only does he take credit for John’s optimization, but he also alters the machines so that when John is demonstrating a change he gets his hand caught and loses two fingers. There’s no way to prove it, but John is hell-bent on trying, and is too proud to take a settlement. But when the defense brings up his assault of the high school teacher, John flips out, to the point where there’s no way a decision will go his way. He’s stuck with a throbbing injury, a dependence on painkillers, and no real option for relief. Except robbery. He starts with pay phones and vending machines, but has to escalate to convenience stores. But of course the first job goes wrong when John sees Candy walk in. He’s shot and killed, but as he’s lying on the ground there’s another gunshot and Candy falls onto him, dying as well.

Poppy tells Candy’s side of the story. Like, this is the only place where the structure of this story falls apart — are we actually expected to believe that the stories Free and Poppy are telling are in any way not about themselves? It’s just so obvious. We could argue that it’s because I already know the story, but I’m not sure if that’s true. It’s been twenty years, at least, after all.

But so Candy’s story is about what happens after John leaves her life. She gets up to college and realizes she can’t hang, but she falls for a teacher and gets enough help to muddle through, at least for a little while. Of course, shit happens, the teacher gets her pregnant, and she decides to go away and have the baby, who she loves more than anything ever. It’s the kick in the ass Candy needs to figure out how to take care of herself. She does the crazy single mom thing of working and going to school both full-time while taking care of a baby, nails down a nursing degree, and moves back home so her parents can have a grandson while she works. But of course she’s got this nasty smoking habit that she can’t kick, and it’s while she’s stopping to pick up a carton of cigarettes that she finds John, the only man she’s ever loved, robbing the store.

The whole time, Teresa is feeling sicker and sicker. Her wrist hurts, her hands are clammy, she’s got a headache, and her throat is dry. Also, the road isn’t really taking them through the region she expected, and none of the towns are where she thinks they should be. They do stop a few times, at her passengers’ insistence: once at the house of a mystic fortune teller (who Free calls his mother) who tells Teresa she’s afraid of love and just wants attention (which is maybe why she gives up the booty to Free in a back room) and once at a church where a priest (Poppy’s father) is trying to help Teresa remember the blank space between her boyfriend’s house and her car. They also hit several convenience stores for snacks and beer — but the last time, Free pulls a gun and starts robbing the place. A young nurse walks in, and he tells Teresa to hold her at bay with the knife in her back pocket. The knife Teresa didn’t remember. The knife she didn’t feel until that very moment. The knife that slips and cuts the nurse’s throat when Free shoots the clerk in the face.

As if this wasn’t disconcerting enough, the next stop is a familiar-looking apartment complex; specifically, a familiar-looking apartment where the bathroom door is closed and the water is running. Free pulls a video tape out of thin air and sticks it in the VCR, and it shows Teresa climbing into her car and driving away. And then he rewinds it, to Teresa in the bathtub, cutting her wrist open with the knife she found in her back pocket.

So we finally start to see what’s going on. Teresa is dying, and Free and Poppy are the dead souls of John and Candy, one devil and one angel, fighting over her soul. Only Poppy has an ulterior motive. She’s come along on this journey to show John that he wasn’t so bad, and that he doesn’t deserve his torment. See, he’s struggled with the understanding that in his last moments of life, he flexed his fingers and fired the bullet that killed Candy. But he didn’t. She tells him that it was the police officer, trying to take him down but misfiring and hitting her. In fact, this has been her message the whole night: tell the truth, act with love, and forgive the past. If she can get Teresa to do that, she can still be saved.

Like, literally: all of a sudden Teresa’s spirit skips to the fire in her boyfriend’s house, and she sees the philandering pair on the rug in front of it, and she’s ready to forgive them. And as the anger flies away, a log in the coals pops and shoots a spark onto her boyfriend’s arm, waking him up. He looks around, bewildered, and sees Teresa’s key in the door, where she left it in her rage. And before he can even puzzle things out, he knows she’s in trouble and takes off to help her.

Our epilogue (which Pike seems to have figured out the workings of, suddenly) finds Teresa waking up in the hospital, watched over by a young pre-med student. He tells her that her boyfriend found her and brought her in, and that there are four people waiting to see her. She talks about her anger and her sadness, and they commiserate together, and all of a sudden she realizes that he is Candy’s young son, left behind when she died in a robbery. And that’s it.

I find it interesting to think about how Pike’s juggling interests in different religions and traditions while he writes these vaguely mystical works. There’s some very clear Catholic background in a lot of these works, but he’s also working in his interest in Buddhism and Hinduism and other Eastern traditions. It’s not a solution that works for everyone, but the idea of giving up the things that make your blood boil and forgiving people who wrong you to take the next step toward enlightenment does have a lot of basis in religion. As long as we acknowledge this baseline, Road to Nowhere works as a story. It’s not a book we should base our belief system on or anything, but it hangs together for Teresa.

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marymosley · 4 years

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CNN Analysts Unleash Personal Attacks On RNC Speakers In Twitter Storm

We have previously discussed the case of former Covington Catholic High School student Nick Sandmann who was repeatedly and falsely called a racist in an encounter with a Native American activist in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Various media organizations have apologized or settled cases with Sandmann for their unfair coverage, including CNN. However, when Sandmann spoke at the Republic National Convention, CNN’s political analyst Joe Lockhart again attacked him personally after he criticized how the media got the story wrong. CNN’s Jeff Yang also attacked the teenager and even suggested that his speech proved that he was not innocent. Fellow CNN analyst Asha Rangappa attacked former United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley as yielding to a racist America for not using what Rangappa suggested was her real name as opposed to “Nikki.” It turns out that Nikki is her lawful middle name and the Hill’s Saagar Enjeti noted it is “a Punjabi name.” That however is an appeal to reason not rage which seems to have little place in our national discourse or media coverage.

The personal attacks on speakers were beyond the pale, but hardly unprecedented. What happened to Sandmann was a disgrace for the media and he had every right to speak publicly about his treatment by the media.

Sandmann is a pro-life kid who wanted to demonstrate against abortion. He sought to play a meaningful role in his political system, which is what we all have encouraged. Indeed, CNN has aired many such calls for young people to have their voices heard. He was in Washington as part of the annual “March for Life.” This is one of those voices. Sandmann spoke about his horrific experience in being labeled the aggressor in the confrontation when all he did was stand there as an activist pounded a drum in his face. Sandmann said this morning in an interview that he only learned at 3 am in the morning on the bus home that he was being labeled a racist who attacked or harassed this activist.

In addition to Lockhart, CNN opinion writer Jeff Yang said that the speech confirmed to him that he was guilty all along.

“Hey @N1ckSandmann, I watched your speech tonight at the #RNCConvention2020 with an open mind, thinking I might hear something that would convince me of your position that you were an innocent victim of a cruel media. I was disappointed, but not surprised, to hear otherwise.”

So Yang now believes Sandmann was the aggressor or the one who was at fault? Yang even criticized Sandmann for not extending a “branch of peace” to Nathan Phillip, the Native American elder in the confrontation. Sandmann did nothing wrong in front of Lincoln Memorial. He just stood there as Phillip pounded a drum in his face. Yet, Yang now believes that the media was not wrong or Sandmann innocent.

Yang previously personally attacked Pete Buttigieg for calling for a “vision shaped by the American Heartland rather than the ineffective Washington Politics.” Yang again viewed Buttigieg’s political statement as a license for personal insults: “Okay, gloves off: This is the bullshittiest quote of many bullshitty quotes from this man, whose vision was shaped by Harvard, Oxford, McKinsey & Company and a keenly honed sense of ambition. Dude, your dad was a lit professor and you went to a private prep school. Quit fronting.” Nothing on the content of Buttigieg’s point. Just a personal attack from the CNN commentator.

The Sandmann controversy arose because of the very bias that Yang reaffirmed this week. For many, the mere fact that he was wearing a MAGA hat was enough to declare him a racist. An example that we previously discussed is the interview of “Above the Law” writer Joe Patrice with Elie Mystal. In the interview, Mystal, the Executive Editor of “Above the Law”, attacked this 16 year old boy as a racist. Patrice agreed with Mystal’s objections to Sandmann wearing his “racist [MAGA] hat.” They also objected to Sandmann doing interviews trying to defend himself with Mystal deriding how this “17-year-old kid makes the George Zimmerman defense for why he was allowed to deny access to a person of color.” It was entirely false that Sandmann was denying “access to a person of color.” Yet, the interview is an example of the criticism (which continued with Lockhart) of Sandmann speaking publicly about his treatment. Mystal and Patrice compared this high school student to a man who was accused of murdering an unarmed African American kid and continued to slam him even after the true facts were disclosed.

After his remarks at the RNC (which is not an easy thing for most teenagers to do), Lockhart declared on Twitter “I’m watching tonight because it’s important. But i [sic] don’t have to watch this snot nose entitled kid from Kentucky.”

Why is this teenager “entitled”? Because he is discussing his role in a national controversy or his abuse by the media, including CNN? CNN settled with Sandmann. When did that become “entitled”? The message from these media personalities seems to be that Sandman is expected to simply stay silent and such interviews make him either a George Zimmerman wannabe or a textbook case of entitlement. Of course, media figures like Lockhart can continue to slam Sandmann, but he is . . . well . . . entitled to do so.

Nikki Haley gave one of the most polished speeches at the RNC. There is clearly much in the speech that many do not accept about racism in America. However, Haley lashed out that it is

“now fashionable to say that America is racist. That is a lie. America is not a racist country. This is personal for me. I am the proud daughter of Indian immigrants. They came to America and settled in a small Southern town. My father wore a turban. My mother wore a sari. I was a Brown girl in a Black and White world. We faced discrimination and hardship. But my parents never gave in to grievance and hate. My mom built a successful business. My dad taught 30 years at a historically black college. And the people of South Carolina chose me as their first minority and first female governor. America is a story that’s a work in progress. Now is the time to build on that progress, and make America even freer, fairer, and better for everyone.”

That speech led to an immediate personal attack from Rangappa that Haley bowed to racism by dropping her real name: “Right. Is that why you went from going by Nimrata to ‘Nikki’?” Rangappa asked.

The problem is that Haley birth name is Nimrata Nikki Randhawa. She is not the first politician to use her middle name like Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, who goes by Boris. Then there is Willard Mitt Romney. Was Romney denying his roots by going with Mitt? Yet when a minority member uses her middle name, it is somehow evidence that she is a racist tool.

What is telling is that, rather than address the underlying argument on systemic racism in our society, analysts like Rangappa prefer to attack Haley personally and suggest that she is some type of shill for racism. Why? Rangappa teaches at Yale and in academia such ad hominem attacks are viewed as the very antithesis of reasoned debate. Likewise, in journalism, such attacks were once viewed as anathema, particularly when they are based on false assumptions.

There is much in these conventions to debate. In truth, I have never liked political conventions and view them all as virtually contentless. Nevertheless, there have been parts of the RNC that I have criticized, including the appearance last night of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo in a departure from past traditions of keeping such cabinet members out of political convention roles. Once again, such important lines of separation were obliterated by the Trump Administration. I also found reformed former felon John Ponder’s remarks to be powerful, but I agree with critics that the incorporation of a pardon signing into the events at a political convention to be wrong. I have also previously criticized the use of the White House for the political convention, including for the First Lady’s speech (which I also thought was a good speech).

Those are issue worthy of debate and people of good faith can disagree on the merits. That is a lot more productive than attacking an 18-year-old kid because he had the audacity to criticize the media and support President Trump. There is, of course, a troubling entitlement evident in these stories. It is the entitlement enjoyed by media figures who feel total license to personally attack anyone who challenges their narrative or supports Trump. It is not just permitted but popular. This is why Merriam-Webster defines “entitlement” as the “belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges.”

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ledenews · 4 years

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Becky Sancomb – A Working Parent, Too

Her poor dining room table. Normally reserved for company or those special family meals, the surface is now abused by the weight of schoolwork by her three children, and with her duties as principal of Wheeling Central Catholic High School. Becky Sancomb is a lady always with a long to-do list, but since schools were closed by state and federal officials, her duties have extended from the morning wake-up to the final nod-off. She and her students, though, did benefit from preparation, and that means the learning continued with everyone involved at their own homes thanks to the in-house development of an online system that allowed classroom work to continue despite the coronavirus crisis. For the past four years, in fact, the academic calendar at CCHS has not needed altered because of an excessive snowfall. Not only does her work as high school principal continue, but Sancomb is now a teacher, too, for her three children who also have continued their schoolwork. And yes, it all takes place at the dining room table.

Sancomb misses the CCHS student and staff and she is anxious to return to the classroom.

Were you surprised with the quick closure of schools in West Virginia? Why or why not?

We had been following the updates by the CDC and our local health department pretty closely for a few weeks prior because we had a group of students and staff who were supposed to be traveling abroad for spring break. I had sent a notice to parents a few days before because I felt like it was going to be inevitable and we needed to be preparing. The reality and possibility are two totally different things, however. It still felt surprising that this was all happening.

How many days of learning were missed by CCHS students?

The announcement was made on Friday. We gave students and teachers Monday to prepare and get their home learning/teaching spaces ready. Tuesday we began our cyber schooling. We have been doing cyber days on inclement weather days for several years so we had a framework to work with. Our students all have a Chromebook and teachers have been utilizing tools and resources that could translate to a virtual learning environment. We have updated some things along the way to better meet the needs of our students as the time has been extended for cyber schooling. We are making adjustments as we are learning lessons.

This is the platform on which Central Catholic students have continued to learn since schools were shuttered in mid-March.

How does the high school's online learning system work?

There are so many ways to approach this that it can be overwhelming for both teachers and students. We established that Google Classroom would be our digital “home base” where teachers would communicate lessons, instructions, and assignments since we were already using it. From there, teachers can present lessons in different ways. They are using video conferencing, video messaging, tools for creating multimedia lessons, and other resources. I’d say the most important thing is staying connected and keeping those relationships that we know are so important in an engaging learning environment. Faith is ingrainded in our mission so we continue to try to provide ways for our students to live their faith through prayer and service. We continue to work on supporting students and teachers through all of this. Our students miss their friends and teachers. Our teachers miss their students and colleagues. I miss them all!

You and your staff are now faced with decision concerning prom and commencement. How will those decisions be made and when do you expect to announce them?

First, we have to abide by the guidelines/mandates set forth by federal, state, and local officials. We would love nothing more than to have these special events for our seniors. We are holding on to see what the state does regarding school, and what restrictions will still be in place for gatherings. If we can’t have these events as scheduled, we would like to reschedule. If restrictions prevent that from happening in a reasonable timeframe, we will work with our seniors and their parents to come up with the best alternative plan possible. The truth is, I know anything short of fulfilling the time-honored traditions that come with being a CCHS graduating senior will be disappointing to all. Our goal remains to honor and celebrate the seniors’ accomplishments and contributions to our school with the same love and care that we have for past seniors.

This is the common scene at the Sancomb home as Becky and her children continue their schoolwork.

These days what is the common day for the principal of Wheeling Central Catholic High School?

Oh boy. I’m sure it looks a lot like other working parents’ day. I try to get up and going like I would for a typical school day. From there it is toggling back and forth from my principal duties to my mom duties. For work, there are lots of conference calls, video conferencing, emails, planning, organizing, check-ins with teachers/staff/students/parents, decision making, and checking off of other necessary tasks. As a mom I am managing the online school schedules of my 5th, 6th grader and preschooler while checking assignments, tutoring, and trying to keep their meeting times with different teachers straight. Thankfully their teachers and school have been very supportive. I am also thankful to have my husband’s partnership through this. In addtion to his own work schedule, he is helping to keep the boys very active. Beyond going through lots of food, laundry, and trash; we are doing lots of adjusting, refereeing, reassuring, loving, and praying. Some days there is complete chaos and some days we manage to have a semblence of order and are quite productive. We pray for everyone's safety and for a time when we can reunite with our family, friends, schools, and community. Read the full article

#CCHS #Google #ohiocounty #WestVirginia #wheeling

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beckoningforest · 7 years

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Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. I was tagged by: @call-me-winter-soldier. Thank you honeybee 💕 LAST: Last Drink: Fruit Juice Last Phone Call: My mom while I was at the pharmacy Last Text Message: “Ok.” --A coworker Last Song You Listened To: The Wolf Among Us - I'll be fine Last Time I Cried: I honestly can’t remember. A long time ago, maybe a month or two? HAVE YOU EVER: Dated Someone Twice: No Been Cheated On: Yes Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Yes Lost Someone Special: Yes Been Depressed: Yes Been Drunk and Thrown Up: I haven’t thrown up from booze, but I’ve been drunk IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made a New Friend: Yes! All my sweet mutuals who mean the world to me Fallen Out of Love: Yes Laughed Until You Cried: Yes! All the time Met Someone Who Changed You: Yes, basically everyone I come across influences me in some way Found Out Who Your True Friends Were: It’s hard to say. Maybe? Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yes GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Probably 5 people? Do you have any pets?: Three cats Do you want to change your name?: Only my last name. It has bad energy and I want to be free of that. Change it to my mom’s maiden name or something. I just have to go through the legal process... What time did you wake up this morning?: 12pm What were you doing last night?: I got high, played Overwatch, listened to trippy music, ate sooo much food, and dreamed the night away Name something you cannot wait for: Support and stability. Freedom. My own place, living alone Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My friend’s dad is named Tom so... I guess I spoke to him lmao What’s getting on your nerves rn?: The thoughts of work tomorrow hahaa Blood type: I ah... Forgot? Nickname: Ann, Annoe Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Aries Pronouns: She/Her Favorite tv show: I don’t watch enough tv to have favorites I’m sorrrry High school: I went to a Catholic one just bc they had more class options for art and I was an arts student. I made a good friend there, I miss those memories. College: Sucked major ass I don’t want to talk about it lol Hair colour: White/blonde Long or short: Short Do you have a crush on someone: Like, sooo many people on here that I’ll never have a chance with :’) Why ya’ll so cute it hurts What do you like about yourself: My passion for things I love and enjoy FIRSTS: First surgery: Well I had a baby tooth pulled before. So that counts. First piercing: When I was 14 I got five piercings in each ear. I don’t wear them anymore though, too much effort. First best friend: Her name was Destiny First sport you joined: None, I’m not a sports person First vacation: Never been on one :/ First pair of sneakers: Noo idea Eating: Frozen blueberries Drinking: Nothing I’m about to: Play Skyrim Listening to: Lowercase Noises - This Is For Our Sins [Full Album] Want kids: Not... Really. Childbirth freaks me out, the thought of something alive inside me gives me bad anxiety. Kinda like... Alien vibes. No stomach bursting please lol. I also don’t think I’d want to spend my life having to take care of another human being? Animals yeah, but children? I can barely support and decide shit for myself. The only way I’d ever have children is if I have a wonderful partner who could change my mind Get married: Yes! I often daydream about weddings, what kind I would have. I’d love a traditional Slavic wedding. My cousin got married back in spring, her wedding was sooo lovely! First they had a traditional Slavic wedding, then one at the church. I want mine to be just like hers :’) Career: Dental assistant WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: Eyes Hugs or kisses: Hugs Shorter or taller: I’m not picky, as long as I can hug u Older or younger: Older Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship. I don’t do hook ups. Troublemaker or hesitant: A little bit of both HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: No Drank hard liquor: Yes Lost glasses/contacts: No Sex on first date: There was one time it got intimate, but they pressured me and yeah. It was awful Broken someone’s heart: I hurt some friends in the past, we apologized to each other and we’re still very close to this day Been arrested: No Turned someone down: Yes Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: Not really... I loathe myself so it’s hard to think positive, ever Miracles: I try to believe Love at first sight: Sometimes? Heaven: I believe in the afterlife, that we go somewhere after we die. Santa Claus: No

@faeralyn, @bitchcr4ft, @theburningcreation, @nicchessa, @90377, @sunfl0wer-spirit, @dewdropdwelling, @raezy-hazy, @litheriel, @foxyknits, @hobbithorse19

#about me #personal #thanks for the tag ily #!!!

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autisticadventurer · 7 years

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My History

CW: emotional, sexual, and financial abuse, suicide, drugs and alcohol, conversion therapy, divorce, homelessness, seriously... you name it.

For the very young among my readers, and for those who simply weren’t aware of what was happening in the queer community in the 90′s, let me tell you a little more about my family.

My dad is from a city. His family later moved to a more rural environment, but he also grew up with a cosmopolitan experience. His mom’s parents were filthy rich and disinherited her for eloping with my grandpa but my dad still got to do rich people things when he was a kid. He has funny memories of his grandma nearly killing them because she was too drunk to drive but he also remembers doing farm labor as a teenager. He was a math whiz and played varsity football his sophomore year but had to quit after a car accident when the doctors discovered that one of his kidneys is totally non functional and the other is under developed. When he joined the Air Force, he was training to be a helicopter flight mechanic but there is something wrong with his depth perception so he was recycled and ended up with the far less glamorous but still noble position of cooking. Cooking runs in our blood.

My mom is from a very small town, 1000 people or so. The only diversity she ever really knew was Lutheran or Catholic and because of her heritage on her biological dad’s side, she may have been the only Jewish person in town. She was raised Catholic, though, by her mom and step dad. Her stories of childhood have a much different tone than my dad’s do. She was constantly angry at her mom for being too stupid. She earned average grades in all subjects and helped in the family store from the time she started high school. She played basketball for a few years in school, but most of her time was spent getting drunk probably because she had no framework to understand her attraction to other women. When she joined the Air Force, she did so as a diet tech.

My parents met in a kitchen on an Air Force base thousands of miles from their home states. My dad told me that it was love at first sight. My mom has never talked about it. Their marriage was unhappy. They produced two children and then divorced a few years later. My dad was depressed for years and my mom openly shamed his depression to us kids. I have heard so many versions of why he left the Air Force but he was the primary parent when I was a kid. After the divorce, he struggled to find suitable work.

My mom convinced us kids not to visit my dad more than once and even forbade us from visiting him on other occasions. I remember being coerced into signing a contract that we would not visit him at all when I was eleven. I figured out that my mom was gay when I was seven. Luckily, I had not been exposed to other culture stories about homosexuality before this so for me it was just data. We had to keep it a secret from the Air Force. In the 90′s being queer could cost you your job, especially in the military. This secrecy was used to convince us to keep our mouths shut about all the abuse that was happening in the home. “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll be investigated and lose my job.”

Ironically, my mom preached tolerance while perpetrating all kinds of conversion therapy on me that would have left me traumatized for life if I had not taken matters into my own hands as an adult. It was on a nearly daily basis that she openly declared my sibling the favorite and called me Number Two. I think that may have something to do with why I make so many poop jokes. I tried to earn her love and respect by doing well in school but my straight A’s did nothing but only further enrage her. When my IQ was tested at the age of 8, she denied the score because scores in that range almost always point to autism and she was working her ass off to deny that part of me. She even hid my fidget, my teddy bear, from me as a prank on more than one occasion. Imagine what it is like to have a mother who makes fun of you as a rule and will only show you love if you act right, and you never act right because you’re not right.

You can imagine that I lived with my dad as often as I could. My dad is strange though. He would only want both of us to live with him. He was also very poor but I didn’t care because being able to breathe freely was a luxury that I didn’t have when living with mom. (I actually had to see a specialist at one point because my stress was preventing me from being able to breathe. The muscles in my neck were locking up but this only lead to being teased about putting less strain on my vocal chords. She didn’t love me at all.) Living with my dad wasn’t perfect. I was unable to continue the swim team into high school because my dad was fearful of me riding in a car to get to practice (unresolved trauma from his past) and his work schedule prevented him from taking me. But I was allowed to be in the IB Program and I begged my way into a few summer camps at the university. During my Junior year, my mom and dad got into a stupid fight and my dad lost it. I can’t say I blame him now because as an adult, I understand my mom’s power to provoke and pick at emotional wounds... but at the time, all I could think was, “what the fuck?” and I had that thought for years.

We ended up back with mom who wanted me to drop out of IB and get a job which also derailed my plans to attempt to get into MIT and they had been scouting me since I took my PSAT. Why did I do what my mom wanted me to do? I guess I trusted her, I still saw her only as my mommy and not as the manipulative, abusive person that she is. Staying in the IB Program would’ve led to my finding a suitable job but you have to remember, she hated the idea of having a genius child because that meant having an aspergers/autistic child and she retained her small town mentality for fear and shame of difference. In a weird way, not becoming an engineer has worked out for me and if she hadn’t treated me like so much dog shit for 25 years, we’d probably still have a relationship. My relationship with my dad was later repaired because he apologized for what had happened as a result of the fight.

During my twenties, I was chronically homeless. Although I did well in school, because I was taught, but nobody ever taught me how to live in this world. I struggled to find work because I am strange, I cannot work full time because of the intensity of my sensory processing disorder, and the paychecks I earned were never enough to even cover rent, let alone food or a phone bill or student loan payments. I tried living with family, which meant my mom, and this only lead to my second suicide attempt at the age of 25. (My first was at age 12, also while living with my mom.) My sibling found me and I woke up in the psych ward a couple days later. It was after this that I lived in a home called a Board and Lodge. About a third of us were autistic but requiring less staff than a traditional group home. There were also people with physical injuries, drug addiction, prison re-entries, and one guy with schizophrenia. It was not a safe place to live because there was a great deal of abuse amongst the residents and staff due to what I think was a social power struggle. It was so bad that some of the staff wouldn’t even perform their jobs appropriately and I reported it when I moved out.

I’m leaving a lot out: my years in college, my marriage and divorce, my time in a cult, being taken advantage of financially, the sexual assault, and other things. Being unable to recognize danger does not magically help an autistic person recognize danger. I have a lot to thank my therapist for because she has mentored me to help me recognize danger and to help me see the world as it is. She has helped me to build life skills and self care skills so that I can live independently and not be at the mercy of people who don’t understand autism and think they’re doing me a favor by trying to abuse me into being normal. I am hoping against hope that I can find a part time job in this state that will be understanding of my autism and accommodate me in the way the law requires them to. I have a lot to give but I cannot give what I do not have.

Everyone you know has a hidden past that has been molded and shaped by the hidden past of their parents and grandparents. Try to put a hold on judgements and assumptions, if you can. It will help to foster tolerance and acceptance without having know things that are none of your business. It is an important lesson to learn that nobody owes you an explanation for who they are and nobody is obligated to share what they consider private.

#long post #family history #actually autistic

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livinglikenew · 6 years

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part 1

I don’t know if opening up old wounds will be helpful to me or to anyone. I’m not a doctor nor a psychologist. I do believe that it might help a woman who needs this. To hear her experience through someone else.

My first experience with sexual assault happened when I was in kindergarden. I was 5 years old. My good friend, female friend which still confuses me to this day why a girl would do this, forced me to kiss her breasts. She held me under the covers and wouldn’t let me go until I kissed her mouth and her breasts and licked her all over her breasts. She was much bigger than me and as a child I did not know what else to do other than comply. I told my mom when she came to pick me up and she did nothing. Just told me I couldn’t go over there again. I don’t blame my mother for not acting, she was also a victim of sexual molestation when she was young, but that event set me off into the world knowing that I must be silent when sexual things I didn’t like happened to me otherwise I might embarrass people. I thought that what happened was normal. Being forced to be sexual with someone by force is just what kids do and to just shut up.

Many other events happened after that of course and I can’t really pin what it was that really set me down this road.

I lived my life in the shadow of fear of my father. He is a traditional Sicilian Catholic man and lives by their traditions and rules. His Uncles were very active in the KKK and my father was in fights every day with black kids in his youth. His father beat him almost daily and held a very strict household. He transferred those beliefs into his parenting, which obviously wouldn’t make him the kindest of fathers. My sister is mentally disabled, and ever since I can remember, he would beat her for anything she did that he didn’t like, just like his father did. When I was 3 years old I did something he didn’t like, I don’t remember what it was, but I finally got a beating like my sister had been getting. He locked me in his room with him, pulled down my pants to my bear ass and whipped me with a leather belt with a good bit of force. It lasted maybe 30 minutes? I don’t remember how many licks he gave me, maybe 25. All I know is I was terrified. It’s one of the first traumatic events of my life. I remember my mom trying to stop him. She would yell at him to not do it, but he ALWAYS gets his way. After that beating I never did anything wrong ever again in my life until I was 16. But my sister’s mental capacity doesn’t allow for her to learn quickly. She’s 26 now and still has the mental capability of a middle school student, so he would beat her almost every day. He would lock her in his room and beat her for maybe 45 minutes? I would hear her screams. I had to convince myself my sister was evil in order to still love my dad after seeing him treat her like that.

What really showed me I should fear my father was the final beating. When I was 11 years old, my sister, not understanding why dogs growl, got in my dogs face and the dog nipped at her and gave her a tiny cut on her face. My sister freaked out as she didn’t understand why my dog had snapped at her and unfortunately my father witnessed it. He started punching my dog and beating her with everything he had. My dog was running away from him and hid under my father’s bed. My dad went outside and grabbed a huge piece of plywood and came back in to beat my dog with it. He couldn’t grab the dog from under the bed and just kept slamming it on the ground and trying to call her out. I was so terrified but being 11, I had no idea how to stand up to him and neither did my mother. We ran around frantically trying to get him to stop until he finally chased my dog outside. To be continued...

#abuse #physical abuse #father #dad #ptsd #recovery #women

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jewishconvertthings · 7 years

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So I'm currently in the process of converting (reform) and I'm so happy I've decided to do this. The problem is is that I have a very overbearing and controlling family. Even though I don't live with them anymore, it's very hard to remove myself from them. My partner (agnostic) is very supportive, and my Rabbi has been great, and this is what I want to do - but I don't know how to deal with my Catholic chaos. (1/)

(2/) My mom will wonder what went wrong; my dad will scream at me; my oldest sister will say that Catholics are the chosen people now; second oldest will just be confused; third oldest will scream that all religions are oppressive and terrible; fourth oldest will say “if your problem with catholicism is their attitude towards queers like us there are so many other christian churches!”; and my little brother will be upset that I’m starting family drama

3/3 I know I need to tell them, I just. don’t know what to do, and who to tell.

Hi Anon,

That sounds like a difficult situation - have you discussed strategies withyour Rabbi? Also, have you discussed the possibility of referring some of theirquestions to your Rabbi to field? I’m guessing that your Rabbi has helped otherconversion students navigate telling their families about converting before,and will have some good advice for you. At a minimum, she/he might have somegood ideas for how to answer their questions and/or be willing to address someof them her/himself.

I’m not personally in the greatest position to help give you advice, seeingas I have yet to have that discussion with my family. :-/ However, to theextent that I can, I’ll make some suggestions - please take them with a grainof salt! You are the person in the best position to evaluate how yourfamily will react and how to explain things in a way that they willunderstand/how to lovingly set boundaries if necessary.

It’s also worth noting that I can’t quite tell what your relationship withthem is - if it’s just tricky or if there are actually some toxic or abusivepatterns present. If it’s the latter, please know that you are not bad forputting as much distance between yourself and them as you need for your ownmental, emotional, and physical safety. A Jewish friend of mine oncetold me that the best possible way to fulfill the commandment of honoring one’smother and father if they are abusive is to protect yourself as best you can.Their hurting you is a sin, and by protecting yourself, you are helping preventthem from sinning further. Honoring them doesn’t mean subjecting yourself totheir abuse when you have the ability to protect yourself; arguably these aremutually exclusive.

As I said, I don’t know the exact dynamics happening there, but I wanted toaddress that possibility.

> Your mom: I’m guessing she’s very committed to her Catholicfaith, hence “she’ll wonder what went wrong”? It can be very difficult torealize that your efforts to pass on your religion have been supplanted byanother faith, particularly if your belief is deep and sincere. You may want todiscuss strategies with your Rabbi for addressing her religiously-motivatedconcerns as well as the familial/emotional ones. As I don’t know you or her, Ican’t give you advice tailored to what she will hear, but I’m guessing yourRabbi will be much more useful here.

> Your dad: You really might want to plan on telling him in apublic place so that his options for freaking out are limited. Alternatively,if it’s an option, you may not want to tell him at all, or wait until you haveother family members on your side if possible. I would definitely consult yourRabbi on this one; it may be helpful to make a Plan A and Plan B and have anexit strategy.

> Oldest sister: Again, this depends on your exact relationship withher, and what, if any, future relationship you hope to have with her. Dependingon that, you may want to read up on the issue of Christian supersessionism soyou can answer her on a theological level. Alternatively, you can simply leaveit at “that’s what you believe, and I believe differently.”

> Second oldest: If you think she’d be open to it, you may want to have some good intro to Judaism resources on hand to help clear up herconfusion. Additionally, I’d think through a good way to explain clearly andconcisely what this means to you and why you love it so much.

> Third oldest: This is honestly pretty close to how I think myown family will react; that being the case, I’ll offer you my thoughts so faron how to field this objection. Generally, when Christians say this, they arespeaking from a normative perspective that assumes all religions are the same as theChristianity they left/have issues with. That being the case, you’ll want todisabuse her of this notion right off the bat, as quickly as possible.Explaining just how different otherfaiths are – yes, including Judaism, despite sharing historical roots –will help suck the wind out of her sails on this argument. It may help to beginwith explaining just how different the Christian bible is from the Torah, andwhy. It may also help to explain Jewish culture and community, and thereforegive additional reasons for wanting to join the Jewish people (not just convertto a different faith tradition!)

> Fourth oldest: Similar to the second oldest, I’d think throughexactly what it is about Judaism youlove and what it means to you, and be very clear it’s about that and nothomophobia/transphobia. Because yes! There area lot of accepting Christian denominations now, but I’m assuming that’s not theonly reason you’re here. :)

> Little brother: I would be very clear that this isn’t aboutanyone other than yourself; you’re not doing this for the purpose of attention seekingor stirring the pot – it’s about developing an honest relationship with G-d (orhowever you’re framing your journey!) I would, if possible, try to remind himthat their reactions are their behavior and therefore their responsibility. Youare responsible for your own behavior, not theirs.

All of this advice is drawn from coming out to various people as queer andtrans, but from what I can tell, the processes are intriguingly similar. If, asyou implied in your ask, you are some stripe of queer and you are out to them,you may want to use your experiences with coming out as queer to them as aframe of reference for how to approach this as well.

Best of luck in your journey!

#answered asks #telling family about conversion #long post #Anonymous

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