#my dentist told me i need to get 3 out of my 4 wisdom teeth removed bc theyre hopelessly fucked with no future at all

[rpfisfine]

teeth hurt

#my dentist told me i need to get 3 out of my 4 wisdom teeth removed bc theyre hopelessly fucked with no future at all #in literally like . early december 2022. and i STILL havent been able to book an appointment w him im gonna end it all #mp #hes had a hip replacement surgery and therefore cannot do surgeries that take a long time . so like. should i just kill myself then #my brother in christ my teeth are actively destroying the teeth around them as we speak

[chuuyamysunflower]

Asheiji fanfic recs pt. 2

Pt. 1 and 3 , 4

In His Eyes by peachcitt(2k)

“This is how you see me?”

“Yes.” Pause. And then: “This is how you deserve to be seen.”

-

or: eiji uses up expensive photo paper while ash gets a little more comfortable with touch

Like Sea Glass by nightscrawls(6k)

In this regard, Eiji never asks, only takes what's given.

But because the ground is so much further from them now, because these aren't tides he can reel in, because this scene was never written in the script, "Do you think -" Legs tremble over the rough rope, the penultimate before he falls or flies. "Do you think he would have approved of me?"

Mourning is the undertow that tugs them to the seaside each year.

somewhere in dinky by selfetish(6k)

“I like being with you.” No holds barred. “You’re my buddy. You’re my pal. You deserve to hear it sometimes.” Eiji lolled his head to AJ's side, resting on his shoulder. “I feel like myself when I’m with you. I mean, who else will listen to me rant about the snooty dog piles I see on Architectural Digest?”

“That all I am to you? You goon.” He playfully pushed Eiji’s head off of him. He unfurled from his shelled position and melted into the cushions, staring up with a grin on his face. He laughed as he stared at their reflections on the disco ball. “Look at us. Two young stallions, rambunctious rapscallions, lonely on Valentine’s Day and pouring their hearts out to each other. Damn. It’s sad.”

“There’s gotta be some kinda subtext I’m not picking up on.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

He blinked slowly. “So, anything you’d like to confess to me, AJ?”

Friendship expressed through vellum drafts and sales pitches.

Work Experience by awesomecookies(41k)

Aslan J. Callenreese, CEO of Lynx Corp. Philanthropist, one of Forbes' top 100 richest entrepreneurs in the world, Time Magazine's cover in last month's issue, leading the protest in climate change and development of sustainable and green engineering/architecture, head of many environmental organizations, and apparently one of the most brilliant and influential minds of the 21st century.

To Eiji Okumura, he was Ash Lynx (as nicknamed by everyone in his office). Angry, tired, and was often kind of a bitch actually.

-

or alternatively titled: "What to do when your boss is a hot blond American with the craziest attitude and an even crazier mind)

I want to spend my life with you by orphan_account(1k)

Childhood friends AU. Just little moments here and there with two soft boys in love.

A New York State of Mind by hatakelynx, JadedLynx(26k)

Famed author Ash Lynx is struck down by writer’s block and has never felt less inspired. International student Eiji Okumura is desperate for a good grade on his assignment. Inspiration isn’t the only thing that blossoms when these two lonely souls cross paths.

A mixed Ash/Eiji POV fic that ticks every box (and then some) for wholesome AshEiji fluff.

Color my Skin by SuperChorifly(68k)

Okumura Eiji, his mother decided, would be greatly loved throughout his life. Time seemed to prove her right, since as he grew up; Eiji would grow colorful rings on his wrists as if he was collecting them.

Aslan’s father had once told him -a cheap beer bottle in hand and eyes trained on the TV- that he didn't come into this world to be loved.

Or: Soulmate AU where the first time you and your soulmate touch, a colored line shows up in your skin

Summer of Cicadas by suffragettecity(43k)

Ash comes home for summer vacation, working his way through university payments by fixing up old cars. Eiji visits a family friend in Cape Cod, tending to his failed athletic career by lifeguarding the locals.

The buzzing of a once dormant youth.

Smile, Ash! by tailoredlillies(3k)

Ash's days have been interrupted by recurring tooth pain. A trip to the dentist reveals that his wisdom teeth need to come out ASAP.

And he is not looking forward to it.

Of Pancakes and Pumpkins by Blueskylover(12k)

In the fifth avenue apartment, Eiji befriends some housewives, makes terrible pancakes, buys lots of pumpkins, and has some realizations about Ash.

uplifted by postingpebbles(3k)

Then Ash exhales, willing his pulse to slow. He’s still strangely aware of himself for a dream, and as he mulls over that thought, Ash takes in the sight of this person—this man—and is struck by the sense of looking into a mirror.

They have the same battle-hardened green eyes (though the other man’s are… softer, somehow, behind the wire-framed glasses), the same blond hair, the same efficient grace in their movements. It’s what makes Ash lower his guard slightly and say, “You’re… me, aren’t you.”

--

(or: ash dreams of a future with eiji and fights for that happy ending he absolutely deserves.)

Born from the Ashes by Kamikama(57k)

Ash and Eiji were just investigating Banana Fish. They never expected to go back with a baby in their arms.

In Which Ash Can't Spell Eiji's Name by mangra(7k)

“Hello, welcome to the Banana Fish café, how can….hngg.”

Ash felt like someone punched him in the gut. Hell, his whole being was disintegrating at that very moment and was swept away by the wind. Standing before him was the most gorgeous man he’d ever laid eyes on. Handsomely cute in one package.

Ash wants to go on a date with that man. Eiji just wants his name spelled right on the cup for once.

Dude I think he just caught ligma by equinoctial(1k)

“I-” Ash seemed chill, but Shorter could tell-- by the way his eyes ever subtly darted at him, the way he was blinking something furious-- that his genius brain was shutting down at the presence of The Eiji Okumura. The Big Crush. The Him.

And only Shorter Wong could salvage the situation.

“Ask. Him. Out.” He tried to physically convey the message, hand movements wild behind the boy of Ash’s dreams. Ash at least seemed to process his movements, giving his crush a soft smile, and then-

“Ducks are quacking. Eiji. Walk fast.”

--

Shorter wanted to pull out his own hair whenever Ash disastrously failed to ask his crush out.

He’s already bald dammit.

Burn baby burn by Royaltae(2k)

Ash is starving and can't cook for the love of god.

And so,he sets his kitchen on fire.

Or

That one AU where A sucks at cooking and sets off the smoke alarm and B the neighbour comes to the rescue and oh shit he's cute and now I'm the one on fire.

[Pls read the tags before reading the fic<3]

#banana fish fanfiction #banana fish fanfic rec #banana fish fandom #banana fish #ash lynx #asheiji fanfic #asheiji #ash is taking a nap #eiji okumura #fic rec

[imagines4thefandoms]

The man the world forgot part 7: First Night Together

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6

They arrived at a motel a little after 10 pm. Scarlet and Chris were on the road a lot longer than she wanted but in the long run, they would appreciate the extra hours on the road. Scarlet checked into the room while Chris got the bags out of Bert. She was lucky enough that there was a room available at a reasonable price. The Spanish Trails Inn was a crappy-looking motel but it was going to be where they rested their head for the night. The room had 2 twin beds, a bathroom that looked like it could be the filming location for a new SAW movie, and a desk. It wasn’t terrible but it was definitely nowhere near the nicest place.

The beds had red and gold sheets with a flower pattern on them. It was very fitting for a motel room. Chris placed the bags on the desk and took in the sight of the room. He then took the chair by the desk and brought it over to the door and placed it under the handle. After locking both locks and putting that bar over the door Chris gave it a text pull and was satisfied when it was nearly impossible to open.

“It's not that bad,” Scarlet said collapsing on the bed closest to the door.

“I saw crime scene tape on the way in,” he said grabbing her bag and putting it on the bed closest to the window.

“Ok fine I promise to find a holiday inn or a Hilton for the next hotel we need,” she said getting up and grabbing some clothes from her bag and going to change.

While she was in the bathroom Chris stripped down to his boxers and a plain white shirt. He got in bed and just stared at the ceiling til his road trip buddy came back. She glared at him seeing he stole her bed and went to the other one. He watched her put her bag on the ground and stand in front of the mirror next to the desk and moisturize her face and put lotion on her arms and legs.

“Tell me about your family,” Chris said sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

“A bit aggressive questioning,” she laughed as she jumped onto the bed and turned her head towards Chris.

“Gotta save my questions,” he replied.

“They are great,” she said with a mischievous smile. Knowingly not giving him the answer he wants.

She was laying on her side resting her head on her hand. Chris laid on his side facing her. “Why are you scared of dentists?”

“When I was 10 I went to the hospital for a really bad flu. There was a mix-up at the hospital. They switched my files with another person and instead of getting a saline bag to help keep me hydrated they brought me into an OR and ignored my crying saying I wanna keep my gallbladder. The doctors were all residents or interns or something and luckily they couldn’t start the surgery til an attending got there and the attending realized their mistake,” you told him as you rolled on your back.

“Damn,” he said sitting up and giving you his undivided attention.

“Yeah, I haven’t stepped foot in a doctor's office or the hospital since then. Luckily my dad was able to convince the nurse to give me any shots out in the parking lot. I was still very anxious and my dad had to hold me down for the shots. As for the dentist that was more recently. Last year I had to go get a cavity filled and they messed it up I saw the dentist 4 times in one week then I had to get my wisdom teeth removed and they didn’t tell me so I couldn’t mentally prepare for it. I haven’t been back since.”

“You should see the dentist. But definitely a different one.”

“Nah they are evil. Why the hell are they trying to start whole-ass conversations while BOTH their hands are knuckle deep in my mouth,” Scarlet shouted sitting up and looking at Chris.

Chris let out a hearty laugh making his head fall back. His left hand rested against his right chest. While he was laughing at her torment Scar got up and flicked him on the nose.

“Come on, don’t laugh at my trauma,” she said kicking his shin.

“No, I’m not I promise. But your right they are very chatty while digging in people’s mouths,” he said grabbing her hand and subconsciously gently rubbing circles on the back.

Scarlet sat on her bed. Her hands fell from his but their eyes remained connected. “What are you going to do if we fail.”

“I don’t know. Maybe get a degree and do animating. Would it be to stalker and sad to go back to Boston and live close to my family to keep an eye on them,” he asked finally breaking eye contact and laying under the covers.

“Maybe a little but it’s sweet from our perspective. Just don’t let them catch you. But I might be too much for you. I can��t see you being mentally and physically okay with being so close to Scott and everyone else but not being able to talk to them. It would be smarter to start over somewhere else,” she said matching his actions. “But we are getting you back home. You are going to see your dad again. See your family again.”

“Thank you for all of this Scarlet. I'm sorry about Becca,” he said laying on his side facing you.

“You saved me a long time ago, now it's my turn to be the hero,” Scarlet said with a smile.

“God Scar that was terrible,” he laughed turning away from her terrible joke.

“They only get better, we have 3 more states maybe.”

“Good night Scarlet,” Chris said bringing the covers up to his chin as he was still facing the door.

“Goodnight Evans,” she said staring at his back and slowly closing her eyes.

“Daddy, what’s this thingy,” Scarlet asked looking into the engine of Bert.

“That isn’t a thingy, it's a who-ja-ma-what-it, and it go clang clang,” he said focusing on the machine in front of them.

“What,” she asked not understanding what he was saying. It was like she could see what he was trying to say but all that came out of his mouth was nonsense.

“Pay attention princess, this is a thing a mabob and it's very important to the function of the vehicle. That and this chunky thing is connecting to this thing a what’s is. Don’t get that confused,” he said sternly looking at her.

She watched her father explain more but now car noises were coming out of his mouth instead of noise.

“Dad, what’s going on,” she asked backing away from the car.

“Scarlet, get back here. I'm not always going to be here to fix Bert,” he said suddenly in his work uniform.

“Daddy,” she asked with fear in every atom of her body.

Suddenly flames surrounded her father and Bert, but he didn’t move. It was almost like he didn’t realize it was happening.

“Dad you have to move,” she yelled.

“Scarlet, if you’re not going to pay attention please leave I'm working,” he said going back to working on Bert as the flames consumed him.

“Please daddy get out of there. I’ll pay attention I promise just get out. You're going to burn,” Scarlet cried as the flames took both her father and her car and the smoke filled her lungs.

“Please get out. Don’t leave me,” Scarlet whimpered in her sleep.

Chris walked back into the hotel room from getting himself and Scarlet some coffee. When he left she was peacefully sleeping but now she was tossing and turning and tears stained her pillow.

“Scarlet, wake up,” he whispered not wanting to cause her more pain if it was a night terror.

Chris placed the coffee cups on the nightstand and gently shook her shoulders. She still hasn’t opened her eyes and he could see drops of sweat covering her body.

“Come on Scar wake up,” he said shaking her a bit more roughly.

Finally getting her to wake up, Scarlet shot up and was looking around the room. Chris ran to get her glass of water as Scarlet just started crying. When he got back to her bed he sat behind her and just pulled her to him and held her.

“Shh it's ok, It was just a bad dream,” he said stroking her head til she started to calm down.

“I'm sorry,” she cried once she got her breathing under control.

“Shh, you have nothing to be sorry about. Here have some water,” he whispered to her and handed her the glass and wouldn’t let her go til she finished the glass.

When she finished he took the glass from her hand and placed it back on the nightstand. Chris turned her head so she was looking at him and just looked into her eye. He was searching to make sure she was ok.

“I’m better now,” Scarlet said staring back into his green eyes.

After finally seeing that she was ok in her eyes he let her go and got out of her bed. Chris went to sit on his bed and grabbed his coffee.

“Do you wanna talk about it,” he asked taking a sip.

“No,” Scarlet replied swiftly before she looked down at her hands.

“I got you coffee, it’s not the best but it's sufficient for now,” he said nodding over to the coffee cup on the nightstand.

Scarlet gives Chris a smile as a thank you. A face of disgust comes across her face as she takes a sip. Chris let out a small laugh at her reaction and took her cup and gave him hers.

“Here try mine, not any better but I used a shit ton of sugar,” he said tossing her cup in the trash.

“Better but not by much,” she said getting out of bed.

She looked over at Chris as he laid back in bed and put on the news. She notice how his hair was still wet most likely from the shower he had earlier. Scarlet took one last sip of the bitter liquid that was trying to pass itself off as coffee then handed the actor his cup back.

“I'm going to take a shower,” she said grabbing some clothes out of her bag and her toiletry bag.

The steam from Chris’s shower was still in the air when she stepped into the tiny bathroom. There was a clean but also a musky scent that filled her nose and any anxiety that still filled her from her nightmare left. With the warm damp air and his scent surrounding her, she could close her eyes and pretend she was still in his arms.

“God Scarlet grow up,” she told herself before she turned the shower on and waited for the water to get to the perfect temperature to get in.

“Christopher,” she yelled when she realized she forgot her phone.

“Scar, are you ok,” Chris knocked on the door and opened it a crack in case she was injured.

“Im fine I forgot my phone. Can you grab it for me,” she asked sticking her head out of the shower.

“Yeah,” he said closing the door and heading to grab her phone.

He came back less than a minute later and had one hand covering his eyes as he came into the bathroom. Chris held out her phone and was waving it around. Scarlet let out a small chuckle at how ridiculous he looked. Scarlet grabbed his wrist and could almost swear she heard him let out a small gasp. After she got her phone she put on some music and went to start her shower.

Chris quickly left the bathroom after he handed Scarlet her phone. He realized there was a burning sensation on his wrist. He decided that it was from the hot water from Scarlet’s shower. While she was showering Chris just laid on his bed and was watching the news til he realized why Scarlet needed her phone. It was faint but he could hear her singing. She was being drowned out by the water but her voice still traveled. So Chris muted the tv and just laid back and listened to Scarlet sing.

About 25 minutes later, Scarlet stepped out of the shower and turned her music, and wiped the condensation off the mirror. She was having her own little dance party as she dried her hair, put on her makeup, and got dressed to spend the entire day on the road. After giving herself another look in the mirror and grabs her dirty clothes before exiting the bathroom.

When she got back into the main room she saw how Chris was sleeping with his arm covering his eyes and his other hand resting on his stomach while the news played on mute. Scarlet threw her dirty clothes on her bag and slapped Chris’s feet to wake him up.

“Huh,” he said barely lifting his arm from his face to look at her.

“Wake up grandpa, what time is check out,” Scarlet teased him as she made her bed and then laid on her back horizontally across the bed with her head close to him.

“I'm not that old,” he groaned reaching out to slap your forehead but barely reaching so the tips of his fingers ran through your hair a bit. “11, we have to be out of this place at 11.”

“We can leave now,” Scarlet suggested hanging her head off the bed so he and the rest of the room were upside down.

“No, I want to rest my eyes a bit longer.”

“That’s was my dad would say before he passed out on the couch,” you teased him reaching your arm out to poke him in the stomach.

“I'm not old,” he groaned again slapping your hand away.

The two of you just laid there in silence tile Chris opened his mouth. “I liked that last song you were singing.”

“Oh no you heard me,” you whined as you covered your face in embarrassment.

“One, these walls are ridiculously thin, sunshine. Two don’t be embarrassed. I enjoyed my morning concert,” he said lifting his arm to look at Scarlet.

She gave him a small smile then rolled over to her stomach and held her head up with her hands. “So what am I supposed to do til then,” she asked glaring at him.

“Clean up your mess you slob,” he suggested after once again lifting his arm up and looking at her side of the room.

“Hey,” Scarlet exclaimed as she threw her pillow at him.

He took the pillow and hugged it as he turn to the side to get a couple more minutes of sleep. Chris heard Scarlet messing around the room gathering her thing so he just let himself slip further into his sleep. A sweet delicate smell filled his nose. It took him a couple of minutes to realize that it was Scarlet that he was smelling. So he opened his eyes expecting to see her right in front of him but when he opened his eyes she wasn’t there. But when he took a deep breath that scent was still strong.

Suddenly he was rudely woken up by another pillow slapping him on the shoulder. “I'm all packed up, your turn,” she said collapsing on her bed and just watching him grab his stuff out of the bathroom and then close the bag he brought up and sit on the bed.

“Seriously, you’re already done,” Scarlet asked him in disbelief.

“Yes, I don’t throw my stuff willy-nilly when I unpack or look through my bag, slob,” he joked standing up and tossing the bag on the bed.

Chris grabbed his things and then grabbed her bags before he went to open the door for Scarlet. She walked past him and a familiar scent hit him. It was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t place it.

“What is that smell,” Chris asked closing the door once they both stood in the hall.

“Oh yeah sorry. I always forget to pack something for trips and this time it was my bathroom stuff, so I borrowed your million and 1 body wash,” Scarlet said running her fingers through her hair.

His chest started to tighten at the words. That’s what he was smelling himself. On her. She smelled like him and honestly he loved it. “Million in one,” he asked once he was able to clear his mind and come back to reality.

“Guys things are everything in one. You got shampoo, body wash, face wash, oil for your car, oil to fry thing in, you can wash your car too,” She joked looking at her hair and frowning a little thinking of how harmful Chris’s stuff was to her hair. “But don’t worry as soon as I can I’ll get something and I won’t steal your stuff anymore.”

When they reached the lobby, Chris held out his hands for the keys. He let out a small smile at her hesitation and reassured her he just wanted to put the bags in the car while she checked them out.

“You guys are so cute together, how long have you been married,” the young lady behind the counter asked.

“Oh, we aren’t together,” Scarlet told her as she handed her the room key.

“My bad,” she apologized handing her the receipt and telling her to have a great day.

Chris was leaning on the trunk of Bert with his hands in his pockets looking at you. Once Scarlet got closer he pushed off Bert and tossed her the keys.

“What’s the plan for today, sunshine,” he asked opening the driver's door.

“Well Evans, we are just trying to get out of Texas,” she said getting in and looking up at her travel buddy before he closed her door and got in. 

Part 8

#chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #the man the world forgot

[cerberuscaeli]

I just need to rant, it will be unter the cut, so you can just ignore it if you don't want to read it. But also a quick thing, my next fic will be either an Xiao or Childe fic (or maybe Kaeya? Let me know which character you would prefer.) And will be a pretty self indulgant fic bc I need it. It'll be a bit angsty with some comfort, but I just need to figure out which char I want to pair up with. It will be about a reader that has difficulties sitting still and normally doesn't really get bothered by it until someone says something about it and reader gets insecure and the paired character being sweet and all comforting etc. ♡

Rant under the read more button. (You can just scroll away if you don't want to read it.)

I'll add dates to it to make it a bit clear.

Anyways, so thursday 16 June I had to let a CT scan taken for my lower jaw. I have a wisdom teeth that is growing wrongly and they needed pictures for the operation because the wisdom teeth is near a nerve and if it goes wrong I can lose feeling in my lower lip.

So, I am someone that cannot lay still or sit still. I always need something in my hands to fumble with, wether it is when I am walking, or when in class, if I don't have anything in my hands to fumble with I keep bouncing my legs or just keep changing positions I am sitting in.

Anyways, so I had to take that scan and needed to lay still for it. It normally doesn't take long. I had to do it 3 freaking times!! The first time the iron piece of my mask was on it so they had to take it away. Second time I apparantly swallowed when the picture got taken, swallowing also got count as movement (and the entire time I tried to lay still, but I kept getting twitches in my legs and head from forcing myself to lay still.)

So, the doctor taking those scans walked up to me, placed my head back right and I tried to keep the sticks in my mouth but not biting on it. (Idk why they gave me sticks to put under my teeth, probably to get a certain angle of my jaw.) And well I was already starting to panic, tears welling in my eyes but the doctor would tell me when I could swallow and when not.

So 3rd round finished and she told me I was done and did well and I once again told her I found it very difficult bc I can't lay still. Anyways, it was done and I could go home.

Friday 17th June we got a call from the hospital apparantly I had also moved on the 3rd!! round of taking the scan picture, I bursted out in crying!! I tried so hard to lay still only to hear it wasn't good and the soonest I could take a new scan would be end June.

So, I was in tears so my mom called around mainly to ask if I still could get my wisfom teeth get removed. Even when it would be just 1 or 2 out of those 4. They told me they would call back on Monday, June 20. My operation is supposed to be on Wednesday June 22.

My wisdom teeth have been hurting like a bitch since November 2021, we got me a dentist appointment somewhere on January 2022, and I got a scan in April and got the operation planned for this month. (For that scan I had to olace my chin on a holder and then the devide would turn around me. I once again had a hard time keeping my head still and to not move.)

And in the whole meantime the communication between the hospital and us sucked as fuck. They had papers for the CT scan but we didn't know anything about it!

Anyways, back to today (June 17.) I made an appointment with my doctor, luckily being able to go today and we told about everything that happened and how annoying and insecure it all made me. We talked about what it could be, if it could be of my medication I take for my epilepsy or if we should test me on ADHD, but then my doctor went all sweet!!

She asked me what I would get if I took the test and I said "Just a label," where she responded on that I said that well and she told me that I was just me. That those ticks (she called it them) were a part of me. That it is who I am and no one should say differently and that it was wrong from the hospital to act like that etc. And that it doesn't matter if I am a more of a restless or nervous person because that is what makes me 'me', and she for sure boosted my confidence back up, I'm so gratefull for that!!

Of course it still haunts me and is literally keeping me awake, even though my doctor is totally right, my ticks are a part of me. Not being able to sit still is a part of me. It's who I am. But well, knowing that it did mess up the 3 tries of the scan still weighs heavily on me.

I just hope the operantion can happen as I have been going through hell with the pain for months. I even took antibiotics twice! I'm just so done with it and just needed to get it off my chest.

So, lots of cookies to anyone that readnit ♡♡

#genshin impact x reader #childe x fem!reader #childe x reader #rant post #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #kaeya x fem!reader #xiao x reader #xiao x fem!reader #childe tartagalia #tartaglia x fem!reader #one shot #genshin x reader

[fanficwriter284]

Wisdom Teeth Removal

Chucky rubbed the side of his face in pain. Leaning over the sink spitting out the blood coming out of his mouth.

"Ok, Chucky open your mouth and let me see."

Tiffany inspected his mouth looking at the deep bite.

"Chucky you gotta get that wisdom tooth removed. It's to the point where you're biting chunks off"

"AH! Come on TIFF! Is that really necessary!!??

"Yes, It's ready to come out!"

She called the dentist's office and made an appointment for Chucky. Who was still rubbing his cheek and went to the fridge to put some ice on it.

"Come on get in the car we're going to the dentist!

"NOOOOO! You can't make me!!"

"Oh really?" She grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to the car.

She drove him down to the dentist and had to listen to his complaints for the whole drive there. Once they arrived she pretty much had to force him out of the car. They walked into the office and had a seat. Tiffany noticed Chucky's leg bouncing up and down. She placed a caring hand on his thigh and gave it a good squeeze.

"Mr. Ray? Mr. Kodak will see you now."

Chucky tensed up not wanting to go with the lady.

"Don't worry Chucky I'll be fine."

Tiffany walked in with her husband and watched him as he sat down in the large chair where they clean your teeth. It's not that Chucky is afraid of the dentist. Which he wasn't. What did fear was being put under and not knowing if he was gonna wake up or not. Plus he hated being touched by strangers on top of that.

"Hello, Mr. Ray. I'm Dr. Kodak and I'll be the one running this operation today sound good?"

Chucky just nodded his head.

"Now mama I'm gonna need you to wait in the waiting room. If you don't mind."

"OH! Sorry! My Bad!"

She saw Chucky's arm tense up and his bright blue eyes followed her.

She mouthed the words "It'll be ok!" To him and left the room.

The doctor injected Chucky in the arm with some annestisha and told him to count backward from 10.

"10"

"9"

"8"

"7"

"6"

"5"

"4"

"3-"

".....Zzz"

"And's he is out. Let's begin shall we?"

After The Operation

They brought Chucky out in a wheelchair and he looked completely zoned out. It looked like he had seen some things. He had some sponge foam in his mouth to soak up the blood and a band-aid on where the needle with inserted. They rolled him to their car and tried to help him up.

"Ok, two feet! 1 2 3! Almost there! Almost!"

"Chucky! Sweetface! It's ok! Come on! One foot in front of the other. There we go!"

They finally get him into the car and Tiffany and her husband drive off.

"Sweetface? You ok?"

He said nothing and just looked out the window.

"There's a flying TURTLE!!!! THAT TURTLE IS FLYING!"

"Wha---?"

"SHHHHH!!!! I think we are being followed by a goose."

"HAHAHA"

They arrived home and the real struggle was trying to get Chucky out of the car. Just the touch of Tiffany made him jump.

"Why are you touching me?"

"So I can get you out of the car and into our house."

"Our HOUSE? But I don't even know you!!!"

At this point, Tiffany just lost it. She was on the ground dying of laughter. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Why are you kissing me!" The poor man was completely delusional.

With some persistence, she finally managed to get him out of the car safely. She sat him on the couch trying to steady him. Till he got a look of himself in the mirror.

"Is that me? Is that what I look like?"

"Yes Sweetface that is what you look like."

"Damn. I look beautiful. I look beautiful."

"Wait is my name Sweetface?"

"N-No. Your name is Chucky. I'm your wife Tiffany. And we have two kids. Glen and Glenda."

He took a moment to process what she just said. But it went in one ear and out the other.

"I HAVE KIDS!"

"Yes and a wife"

"AND A WIFE!!!!!! WOW. Radical"

"Oh my god. Haha"

"Sweetface you want some ice cream?"

He nodded his head. When she came back she saw him slapping the side of his face.

"Chucky! WHat are you doing?"

"I HAVE NO CHEEK!!!!

Tiffany laughed to herself. What was she gonna do with him?

"Chucky your cheek is there and perfectly intact."

"NO, IT'S NOT! I'm telling you, Tiffany! My cheek is not there!"

She gave up knowing fighting with him wasn't gonna work. So she decided to change the subject.

"Here I got you some ice cream."

"Thanks."

She had to spoon-feed this man. She wished she had recorded this then she realized that the security cams were recording.

"Here is an icepack for your cheek."

He took it out of her hand and placed it to his face and sighed in relief.

Just then the twins came home from school.

"MOM! DAD! We're HOME!"

"YEAH! AND WE BOTH NAILED OUR MATH TEST!"

"Hi kids! That's great! I'm so proud of you both!!"

"Uhhh. Mom, what's up with Dad?"

"Oh. We went to the dentist and they removed I think two of his wisdom teeth. And the drugs took him away. And now he's this" Tiffany motioned towards him.

"You're MY KIDS"

"Yeahhhhh.???"

"Yup."

"WOW!"

Chucky got up to look around but almost fell and in the process ended up hitting the edge of the door frame with his face.

"HAHAHAHA!"

The Next Day

The next day normal and semi-sane Chucky woke up but with a horrible headache and jaw ache. However, he was able to talk in sentences that make sense and could sorta walk properly.

"My face hurts so bad."

"It probably wouldn't have hurt as much if you didn't hit your head the other night."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, you acted like a fricken weirdo!"

"Oh come on please!"

"It's true! Klutzy!"

#chuckyxtiffany #chucky #chucky x tiffany #childs play #tiffany valentine #charles lee ray #raysforever #glen and glenda #chiffany #wisdom teeth

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i have always been pretty transparent on here about the things that i am going through and struggling with so...

tldr? i'm going through it and it's made me a little slow and given me no concentration and i feel bad about that, but i am working on it. hang in there with me. i will be on when i can and post when i can. i love you all and i'm sorry for making any of you wait.

to say the year has been rough would be an understatement. don't get me wrong... a lot of GREAT things happened too and i am so grateful for them. nothing is ever perfect and there will always be bad times with the good. that's just life.

it's just been a super whirlwind of WHAT THE FUCK at the end of the year. in september i started getting horrid jaw/face/head pain. it got so bad i wound up in the ER twice for it. they said it was a bad ear infection so antibiotics it was. still didn't stop. they said it was a sinus infection. more antibiotics. went to an ENT and they ordered a CT of my sinuses and told me what i already knew... my nose is fucked up and needs fixed. i have a deviated septum. i've had one like my whole life. it's been over 30 years of me not remembering what it's like to actually be able to breathe, of constant sinus infections and various other complications of not being able to breathe.

flash to being told i have chronic sinusitis and more antibiotics... the pain changes and i think mmmm maybe this is more than just the sinuses.... so i went to the dentist. sure enough all 4 of my wisdom teeth were PISSED. went to an oral surgeon and two of them were badly impacted, one sitting directly on my nerve and one at the time had an active infection. got shit set up to go ahead with surgery.

all of a sudden i feel something familiar and convince myself it's just a uti.... i knew it wasn't. it was bad. my doctor told me to go to the ER so i did. that's when i learned i had 3 kidney stones that were in my ureters that were working on passing and a giant ass 10mm boulder about to drop of out of my one kidney. saw my urologist and got told hey it might take a minute to schedule this surgery, but you need it so if you're in pain go to the ER and make sure you're admitted so they do it as an emergency surgery. welp... pain got bad and i had my first stay in a hospital as i had to wait until the next morning for a surgeon. had all of that removed and a stent put in for 2.5 weeks.

the day after i had to have my stent removed was my surgery for wisdom teeth. apparently 3 of 4 of my teeth were infected and it was a bad fucking time. healed from that. saw my CT results from the sinus scan and hooooo boy is shit fucked in there. got scheduled for another surgery on jan 25th to have my nose fixed and for them to go in and fix my sinuses.

i have 3 doctor's appointments AND a bloodwork appointment on tuesday. another doctor appointment wednesday. a meeting with my lawyer thursday and my pre-op on friday. on jan 19th i have my hearing for disability and i am scared shitless about the whole thing. it's been really really rough and it would be nice if i could finally have something work out in my favor.

i've just been... stressed. stressed and tired and depressed. i am pretty sure the meds i am on are NOT working and to top that off they give me HORRIBLE nausea that i cannot cope with without having anti-nausea meds on hand. i'm talking without that i will projectile vomit about 10 minutes after taking them.

my anxiety is at an all time high. my depression is... about as bad as it's been in about a year and the last time it was bad was not a good time for me. i struggle every day lately to find any semblance of joy in the things i normally love doing like writing etc. it's been... hard. i come here as an escape and to not have that escape just sucks. it sucks and i tend to feel guilty and awful for making people wait and letting people down so to speak. it just adds to my ick.

so this is me laying it all out there. i have a lot going on. my head isn't always in the best of places lately and concentration is so hard for me. when i AM on here it means i am really trying hard to be. hopefully the med situation will get better after tuesday and then i'll need time to adjust to something else.

i'm sorry i'm not fast or on it etc. i wish i was. i really do. i just have a million things going on and my anxiety is constantly coming at me about it which then just triggers my depression among other things.

#|| bsaa file: ooc || #|| bsaa file: psa || #tw medical #tw surgery #tw depression

[weirdbabs]

have to get fillings replaced bc theyve fallen out after 15+ years and am thinking about how absolute dogshit my childhood dentist was

off the top of my head he: 1. told my mother, while i was still actively losing teeth, that i desperately needed braces. when she said that she was going to wait until i had all my adult teeth to do anything, he told her that she was making a big mistake

2. when i was done losing my baby teeth and my mother asked about the braces he had mentioned, he said that i didnt need them and he had Never said that i did

3. left a cavity on the surface of my tooth for years and didnt feel the need to fill it. he said that so long as it wasnt causing me pain then it was fine

4. got annoyed with me when i was 12 and getting what would be my last filling until i was 22 (at my current dentist for the aforementioned cavity) bc i asked him if he could grind down the excess material bc it didnt feel right

5. told me when i was 14 that my second set of molars were supposed to come when i was 15, and thats why theyre called 15 year old molars, and acted like i was just a silly little girl for asking when my teeth were supposed to come in. they were supposed to come in when i was 12. “15 year old molars” isnt a term and if it was it would be describing wisdom teeth. i only had 24 teeth until i was in college

6. never either realized or informed anyone i had an impounded canine

7. never either realized or informed anyone i was tongue tied

#when i finally went to the dentist as an adult i was hit w like. back to back punches #youre tongue tied. thats not a wisdom tooth its a second molar that popped 6.5 years after it was supposed to. #theres a cavity on the surface of your tooth that NEEDS to be filled. like right now. also thats a baby tooth. #im sure theres other things he did that was 😬 but i cant think of any rn. but man. he sucked #my mom only took us to him bc he was the only one who was on her insurance and fit w her schedule #anyway ive had 2 of the 3 replaced and have the 3rd scheduled in 2 weeks and its such a night and day difference

[hellycatto]

wisdom teeth recovery journey | d1-4

I got my wisdom teeth out this Friday - it was a pretty scary experience but it had to be done!

When I was in the process of applying to medical school, so many people asked me why I wouldn’t consider dentistry instead. My honest answer? Teeth make me so uncomfortable! Looking at the Xray of my OWN teeth with all the roots made me feel uneasy.

My teeth were completely impacted and at a 90 degree angle. The dentist also said that there was a gap between the wisdom teeth and my other teeth, meaning that it was imperative to get them out ASAP. I got them all out at once, it took almost 3 hours for the entire process, and this was done under LA.

The surgery wasn’t too scary. The only painful bit was the anaesthesia injections. Afterwards, I couldn’t feel much other than the pressure and I could hear the constantly drilling of my teeth! Once everything was done, I got 2 pieces of gauze of bite on, a pack of painkillers and antibiotics to munch on.

day 1

The first thing I did was go to the supermarket to buy some jelly! My mouth was so numb that I couldn’t feel anything and couldn’t manage to swallow - blood was dripping from my lips onto my favourite shirt.

When I reached home, I started a fever, and so I propped myself up at a 45 degree angle (as recommended by the internet to reduce swelling), and went to bed for the rest of the day. It was really painful to move my mouth to speak or swallow initially, but I finally choked down some water for my painkillers and antibiotics. My mom bought me lots of soy milk and blackcurrant juice, and I survived off that for the day.

day 2

Still really swollen and sore - I felt like a Lego figurine with a square head! I spent most of the day dozing off and recovering, but also managed to choke down some rice congee and Japanese grape flavoured jellies. At this point, I hadn’t brushed my teeth for 2 days and my mouth tasted absolutely terrible. I was also told not to rinse my mouth, so I could just taste so much blood and I hated it.

day 3

This is when things started looking up! I managed to challenge myself with more food - I was absolutely starved for proper food at this point. My dentist recommended 2 weeks of a soft diet, but I really needed food. For breakfast, I had lots of almond milk and chocolate milk, and ripped some soft bread rolls into bite sized pieces. For lunch, my family headed to a Chinese restaurant and the food was amazing! I had some seafood broth with white rice, a little bit of tofu and some duck by chopping everything up into manageable bits and chomping with my front teeth. For dinner, I had pumpkin soup with a bread roll. Unfortunately, I had a pounding headache and my stomach was hurting so much from my improper eating and sleeping schedule in the last few days, so I took some painkillers and retired to bed really early. It was a tough night!

day 4

The first thing my mom said to me this morning was: you can speak! The soreness and swelling has gone down, and I’m feeling braver about trying new foods. For breakfast, my mom headed to a brunch place where I ordered some soup and had an iced tea. The iced tea was so good, I had it with almond milk & lots of caramelised sugar. I also had a vegan banana bread that I devoured.

I don’t know if it’s because of my teeth, but I get so tired so easily! After our brunch adventure, I went home to rest for a little bit, and had some chocolate almond milk & soft chocolate bread for lunch. For dinner, I felt really really brave! I made some frozen fried food in the air fryer and I could feel my stitches at the back of my mouth. I also finally dared to brush my teeth yesterday and today, just extremely gingerly. I also rinsed my mouth. I’ve been told you can’t spit out anything, so I just let the water drip out of my mouth in an unsightly fashion.

overall

The one very good thing about getting all your wisdom teeth out at a time is that you’ll never have to do it again, ever! Although with my luck, it’s entirely possible that new teeth are already growing in.

Just kidding! But I’m glad that I got this done and it wasn’t too torturous an experience. Just be prepared to give yourself lots of slack and rest, and to give up your favourite foods for a couple of days.

Some lifesavers was having an abundance of milk and sweet drinks by my side, and lots of pillows to prop yourself up in bed.

how did your wisdom teeth removal journey go? if you haven’t done it, what are some questions you have? and if you don’t have wisdom teeth, how does it feel like to be part of a favoured group?

That’s all from me, and all the best to everyone!

Love, Hellycatto <3

#wisdom teeth #medicine #dentistry #recovery #plastic surgery #storytime

[what-the-fuck-khr]

I’m back and Hm. what an experience

for starters, there’s something disorienting about laying down with constant drill noises as a dentist carved out your tooth only for the silence to be filled by Rihanna’s S&M

okay so main problem was not very back molar, but second molar next to it, with a decayed hole that went straight down. did a little X-ray thing and learnt that 1) very back molar IS rotten inside lol 2) wisdom tooth is impacted and is useless and will need to be removed at some point in my life

so anyways she says “the decay is too bad so our options are either remove the tooth. or start a root canal, and wait on a waiting list 2-3 years for the next appointment” and when you give such big decisions like that to a person like me lemme say I was. Stressed. I was GOOD tho I asked questions like if removing it would cause any problems to eating etc, would starting the root canal and waiting those years perhaps mean the rotting will infect other teeth and whatnot I looked my anxiety in the eye today and said fuck off I need to know what I’m doing with time teeth please. so that was nice

anyways I decided I’m only 22 so I don’t particularly want to lose any teeth just yet. Yet. we’ll get to that lol. anyways since I was already on the waiting list back in 2019 you heard that right lol hopefully I should only have to wait a year (maybe 2) instead. so I went with starting the root canal

WELL she gets through the first tooth and then decides the decay on the very back tooth is just too bad and if I wait even just 3 months let alone years, it’ll need to be extracted so she worked on that tooth too. exciting it feels so fucking strange. she was very nice (if I remember right I think her name was Brenda?) constantly checked up on me, and tried to explain a bunch of the things to me so I knew what was going on etc. did anaesthesia for my cheek/jaw except the first dose didn’t work so I got a second lol. I can’t feel my Cheek this is the first time I’ve ever had anaesthesia lol

I’ve learned many things today also. 1) what a root canal is. she luckily explained it quite simply so I managed to understand (think of it like a taxidermy, we’re cutting the tooth and filling it up) 2) anaesthesia is weird as fuck especially bc she warned me “your heart rate will pick up because of the adrenaline” and boy did my heart rate fucking JUMP that was strange 3) I never realised how important the suction thing was. bc she did a couple very quick drills on my teeth without it, very short ones, and bro the fucking LIQUID THAT CAME FROM IT,,, NUTS,, 4) god almighty the taste of rubber gloves is fucking feral 5) I can hold my mouth open for quite a long time lol 6) the adrenaline of it all and me facing the fact I’m gonna lose some teeth eventually had me a little shaky I was nervous going down the stairs lol

ALRIGHT and because of the diagnosis of my current problem teeth lol, I realise that ah, maybe the upper molar I have that’s rotten so bad I’ve lost half my tooth is probably gonna get pulled. likewise with the same very back upper molar on the other side. whenever I finally get an appointment that can deal with those teeth, there’s gonna be no saving them lol. but they’re the VERY back molars so hopefully,,, it’s okay,,,, my teeth are already a bit of a sensitive spot for me like, confidence wise lol bc they’re not that white, they’re not straight, they’re not perfectly flat and normally shaped so showing people my teeth is :/

anyways I’m home now and I can’t feel my fucking cheek nor can I feel anything through my teeth atm and drinking this frozen coke right now (a slushie? Slurpee?) bc of the 34°c heat is SUCH A WEIRD FEELING,,, like I can feel the ice but it’s like a vague, fuzzy feeling? go told by mum to Not eat anything too hot while my cheek is still numb bc ya know. don’t burn myself. got told my tooth will still be tender for the next couple days, take paracetamol lmao, I should be fine? yeah so basically it’s not the fucking Greatest outcome of all time but for what it’s worth, there was a silver lining to some of it. which is nice I suppose

also bc I’m on a fuckin uh specific concession healthcare card I only paid fucking $30 for this visit? $30 for the start of 2 root canals,,,, bc I went through a government kind of funded thing, kind of? so healthcare card etc helps. I didn’t go to a regular ol’ dentist, especially not a fucking private one, and I’m so so lucky I only had to pay $30 today

#anyways that was my dentist experience #it was. an experience to say the least #learnt a lot of things today lol #1) takes more than 1 dose of anaesthesia to numb my cheek apparently #rubber tasted feral (2) #3) numb cheek and tongue is weird #etc etc #ooc #yeah

[eldritchsurveys]

1113.

1 - When was the last time you had a roast dinner? What kind of meat or vegetarian option did you have with it? >> I don’t think I’ve ever had a roast dinner.

2 - When was the last time you drove or travelled for over an hour? Where did you go? >> The last time I was in a car for longer than an hour was... probably when we went to that one restaurant in August or whenever?

3 - What’s your favourite kind of coffee to order (eg. cappuccino, latte etc.)? >> ---

4 - When you get old, are you going to let your hair go grey or dye it instead? >> I am greatly looking forward to turning full grey. It’s my favourite hair colour (well, white is, but grey works too).

5 - What genre was the last book you read? Was it any good? >> The book I’m currently reading is nonfiction. I wouldn’t be reading it if I wasn’t getting something out of it.

6 - Did you ever wear braces on your teeth? >> No.

7 - When was the last time you were relieved about something? What caused you to feel that way? >> When Jack got his package, because I’m always low-key anxious about mail (either sending or receiving).

8 - Where was the last place you went that required you to wear a mask? Are you used to having to wear one now? >> I mean, that’s everywhere. So, the last time I went inside anywhere that wasn’t my apartment was when I went to the CVS and the party store across the street from it. Yes, I’m used to wearing one -- alarm bells go off in my head automatically if I find myself at the door of an establishment and I didn’t put my mask on (which happened to me at a Speedway a couple of weeks ago, lol. I had to stand in front of the door hurriedly putting it on).

9 - How often do you receive calls from unknown numbers? Do you ever answer them? >> There’ll be weeks when I’ll get like 2 or 3 calls a day, because telespam is hell, but lately I haven’t gotten any. Thank fuck. (No, I don’t answer them. What am I, crazy?)

10 - What’s your favourite condiment to have with sausages or hot dogs (or the vegetarian equivalent)? >> Sauerkraut and onion and mustard.

11 - Which fictional character can you relate to the most? Is this a character from film, TV or a book? >> *shrug*

12 - Do you groom your eyebrows? If so, how? >> Nope. They’re fine the way they are.

13 - Did you get “told off” for anything the last time you went to the dentist or was everything okay? >> No, my teeth are in remarkably decent health according to the dentist. They like to wheedle me about getting my wisdom teeth pulled, but I’m not doing it until (/unless) they actively start causing problems.

14 - Would you rather get a starter or dessert? >> Depends on what I’m in the mood for, don’t it?

15 - Have you ever been involved with the police? Did you find them to be helpful? >> Well, yes. “Helpful” isn’t the word I’d use, but fortunately I have had only one negative interaction with the police. The rest of the interactions were annoying but mostly neutral. I consider that a big win, especially since this is the fucking NYPD we’re talking about (and considering I’m both Black and neurodivergent)...

16 - Are you tired at the moment? Is there a specific reason you feel that way? >> Nope.

17 - Are you big on colour coordination? Does that just apply to your outfits or to the rest of your life as well? >> I like to put together colours that please me, if that’s what you mean. I don’t care much about colour theory or anything unless it’s directly related to the associations I personally have.

18 - What shoes did you last wear? How long have you had them? >> Skechers sneakers. Uh... about a year? I don’t remember.

19 - When was the last time you wore make-up? What kind of make-up was it? >> Halloween. Just some eyeliner and stuff. The mask covers most of my face, after all.

20 - Have you ever slipped or skidded on the ice? Did you end up getting hurt? >> Yeah. I mean, I landed on my ass on hard asphalt, which doesn’t feel great, but I didn’t suffer any serious injuries.

21 - Do you wear glasses or contacts? >> No.

22 - Do you own any photo albums? Are they dedicated to special occasions or just a random selection of photos? >> We have the wedding "album” that Sparrow put together using that one website that turns your photos into a book for you.

23 - What was the last reason for you using a spoon? >> Eating dinner last night.

24 - Did your state/region go into lockdown or similar back when Covid hit in March? What did you do to pass the time while you were stuck at home? >> Yeah. I didn’t do anything different, I’m usually stuck at home anyway.

25 - What’s your favourite meal of the day - breakfast, lunch or dinner? >> Breakfast. It stabilises the day for me, and also it’s when I’m likely to eat the most (because that’s when I need the most fuel).

26 - Who was the last person you texted? How do you know that person? >> Sparrow. I’m married to her.

27 - What was the last thing you put in a sandwich? >> Peanut butter and jam, I think.

28 - What was the reason behind the last time you shouted or raised your voice? >> I don’t remember. Whenever that was, it was a long while ago.

29 - Are you a citizen of more than one country? Would you ever use that advantage to move abroad? >> No.

30 - Do you know how to change a tyre? Could you do it without help? >> I know how, yeah. I probably could do it without help (unless the lug nuts were fuckin stuck or something), but since I don’t drive, I’ll never be in this situation in the first place.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[ramblingeekette]

Had to go to dentist today. Originally was getting 2 fillings. Turned into 4 thanks to my dentist realizing a previous one got fucked up when put in so she took that out before proceeding to fix it. Then told me the one cavity turned into a double cavity on same tooth besides the other cavity on my wisdom tooth. So that was a delight because fixed filling with the double were teeth close to each other on upper right and then it was the right lower wisdom tooth.

My jaw fucking hurts and my gums are like Bitch What HAPPPENED because my teeth are so tight together they have to make a custom jig out of multiple metal filling molds they screw on teeth during process. Or in my case my gums because there isnt room elsewhere.

Plus thanks to that weird side effect of being anesthetic resistant due to the red head gene.....my whole face went numb instead of just the right side because of the dosage to numb the pain.

Like they know this so she originally gave me 5 double dose shots off the bat, but then she started on the wisdom tooth and I was like HELL NO. Which she apologized and gave me 3 more double dose shots to make the tooth stop screaming at me.

After part is the worse though. I have like a two hour window before my body goes Fuck This Shit and I literally will just pass out and sleep until the rest of the numbing agent has worked itself out of my system. Happens every time. Explained that to my new boss and he was just like Uhm Have The Whole Day Off.

Except now I have to be up in 4 hours and I am wide fucking awake because I was passed out for almost 3 solid hours after my appointment today.

Let's hope I can drink cold shit again by mid morning cuz I'm gonna need to slam some cold brew or an energy drink to make it through my shift.

#personal #my dentist is such a nice lady too and she just kept apologizing yo me #l keept telling her it's fine because it's not her fault bad teeth run in my family #mine arent nearly as bad as either of my parents or other relatives with dental issues thankfully #but still enough to be like Here We Go Again Ugh #is it weird I like the smell of the composite they use for fillings #it smells almost like the putty erasers I used in my art classes

[babaleshy]

Time for me to rant. If anybody is morbidly curious about what it’s like to live with Trump supporter parents where one parent basically projects himself onto Trump, you can click the thingie. But the context of how this is different from other times I’ve bitched about my folks on my old account is we’re not starving for once. We actually have some money and are trying to get some shit together so we can take care of the urgent needs such as fucking house repairs and shit.

So... We live on a farm. I won’t say where, but right over the hill is a goddamn oil pad. My parents aren’t rich or anything from the oil rights, but I am reluctantly admitting that we are finally getting some money in to where we could repair our tub so we don’t have to risk blisters from pulling a DIY string to turn on the cold water through a ventilation duct because the faucet is fucked. We also got the train to our tub fixed so that way when we shower, we’re not standing in filthy-ass water that can’t drain properly no matter what we shove down the drain to fix it with. We had to replace the entire drainage system for both bathrooms.  Yes. Both bathrooms. The second one is just a toilet and a sink but that sink had the same clog problem due to YEARS of rust build-up because there’s so much goddamn iron in our well water, which my dad states is “actually water coming in from a flooded mineshaft,” and at this point, it would not surprise me if he was right for once.

We also finally got new working vehicles we don’t have to keep taking in for repairs we can’t afford in hopes we can make it to the grocery store or in hopes my mom and my husband can make it to work. Still 2 vehicles, but they are much newer than what we had before (I’m not car-smart, so I couldn’t tell you what years they are or whatever).

My mom also finally paid off all of the credit card debt we were drowning in. This includes both of mine we were forced to use and max out and never make payments on because we couldn't afford to eat several times. That’s about $3k in the hole if you include late fees and interest on TWO credit cards under MY NAME. Because we didn’t have money on us so we could fucking eat.

We are hoping that soon we can get all of our teeth fixed. My husband and I have wisdom teeth in dire need of removal. All of his are rotten, one of mine is rotten but all four are crowding my teeth, all four of us have cavities in our teeth we’re doing our best to keep from getting worse. So the next logical step is teeth. I’m trying to apply for Medicaid but now apparently you’re required to do that over the phone, now and I need a day during the week where my husband has off so I can get some help with this phone call (long story, I just have trouble with phone calls). We also really hope we can find a dentist and oral surgeon NOT IN THIS AREA. A BIG REASON WHY HALF MY TEETH ARE FUCKED IS BECAUSE OF PURPOSEFULLY BOTCHED JOBS BY AN ASSHOLE DENTIST SO YOU’D KEEP GOING IN AND HAVING YOUR FILLINGS RE-DONE.

But hey! We’re doing financially better, now. Especially since my mom plans to give me birthday money this year, and my parents don’t seem to have a problem with paying (if necessary) to help me get tested for dyslexia.

With all of this good news, you’d think my dad would be just tickled, right?

Nope.

He bitches about spending money. He has a mole hill of money he sees as a mountain and he wants to sit on it and never spend it. He bitches anytime spending has to take place. At all. He parrots any and all things Trump promotes and shit. My dad wants to be Trump. My dad is racist, thinks Mexicans are invading America to take our jobs and rape our women and murder Americans (same with any non-white refugee from anywhere), he thinks the military doesn’t get enough support of any sort, with his excuse being “we need to make sure we can show the world we can destroy it at any time we want to so the rest of the world respects us.” Btw, he equates fear with respect. There is no debating him. I’ve tried.

My dad says if he is somehow convinced his xtian god isn’t real, then what’s the point in being a good person? He’d start killing everybody just because there would be no god to judge him. THIS IS THE SIGN OF A MENTALLY UNHEALTHY, UNSTABLE, UNSAFE INDIVIDUAL. Luckily, my dad is actually all talk 99.9% of the time. My dad is lazy, and even states that his ideal life is to sit in an apartment without ever having to move, and he’d have servants at his beck and call. He actually tried several times to convince my mom to move into an impoverished part of the south intentionally because “we would live like kings with the money we’ve got coming in right now.” He’s full of shit because it actually isn’t that much money. It’s just that we can stop starving. (For context, my mom wants to move north ever since her mom/my grandma died because her sister is all she has left and she lives up north, and since Kent State is up there, I’m fine with that.)

My dad wants to sit around and be lazy and absorb any and all conspiracy theories on YouTube that appeals to his fucked up worldviews on a device he claims to hate and wishes never existed. He also bitches about having to drive my husband around, who “should have gotten his permit and license by now” despite the fact that he finally got new glasses after 10+ years of not being able to afford to upgrade his prescription and needs to get used to his new vision. My dad is convinced that because he willed himself through his own problems that literally everyone else can do the same. My dad is the most self-centered adult outside of celebrity-hood I’ve ever seen. My husband has anxiety because being behind the wheel of a machine that could easily kill people freaks him out, and he’s not sure if he can see a counselor for managing his anxiety on a regular basis is going to be possible right now.

My dad thinks my husband works at a retail video game store to support his hobby and nothing else “because of all the damn games and statues he keeps buying” when my dad likes to ignore the fact that employee discounts, clearance sales, trade-in credits, and special deals exist. 

My dad is a miserable old bastard, and because we’re in the same situation as him, he cannot stand how we enjoy ourselves to make the most of it. Misery loves company, and he can’t get past the fact that his life changed forever when he got hurt and permanently disabled at the steel mill back in ‘95. He has since then refused to accept what has happened to him, and would rather be a miserable piece of shit and take down anyone else nearby with him. Which could be why he bitches about having money he can spend, now.

And he does all of his venting at my husband. I know my dad is trying to goad my husband into saying or doing something stupid so my dad has a reason to either kick us out or be physically violent. My dad doesn’t like the fact that my husband isn’t a fucking idiot. My husband grew up with a family full of anger-filled assholes. He knows the ropes as much as I do. And the fact that my husband sticks up for me while I’m not around shows to my dad that my husband truly does love me, and wouldn’t only stick up for me while I’m around. He has called my dad on his shit quite a bit when I’m not around. My dad HATES that he can’t dangle the indirect message of “you’re all by yourself, no one else thinks you’re right” above my head. And ever since my husband started routinely calling my dad out on his shit, or defending me when my dad bitches about me over stupid shit, my dad has backed off me for the most part.

My dad wasn’t counting on me getting married to a good man. My dad previously equated good men with financial wealth. Turns out my dad was proven wrong, and he can’t stand it. That fucker is the whole reason why I have had so many self-image insecurities (and still do) and my dad can’t stand it that my husband isn’t joining him on mocking me. My husband tells him to fucking stop. My dad dares not do it in front of my mom, because she tells him to stop.

My parents aren’t in a very health marriage. There’s more footage of convincing evidence of Bigfoot than there are times my parents did something together because they love each other, and I’m not talking about anything expensive, either.

Mom sleeps on the couch because she told me she can’t stand his snoring. However, I remember my mom once telling me that my dad “doesn’t have an ‘off’ switch with his libido” so I’m guessing that’s another reason why.

Both of them sit in the same room on opposite sides of the room (mom on the couch, dad in the busted-ass armchair) on their devices (mom on her tablet and/or phone and dad on the computer that’s by/in front of his chair), only talking to each other about certain articles they read, and not much else. They’ll occasionally watch something on the TV together on Netflix or Hulu but that’s about it.

Mom wanted to live on a farm and raise horses ever since she was a little girl, and through manipulation and the excuse of 4-H projects through me and my brother, she finally got her wish. And my dad is against having any animals of any sort. All he does is bitch about them. He also bitches about how much country my mom listens to (and I can’t blame him there; my mom is the whole reason why country music is the bane of my fucking existence).

Aside from boinking to have 2 kids and mourning over the loss of one of them, my parents have very little in common. I have no idea how or why they got together other than my dad made my mom laugh and didn’t break her jaw like her ex-husband did, my dad had 3 exes and wanted to make the 4th one count, and my mom found out she was pregnant with me before dad proposed (I’m GUESSING knocking my mom up is what made them decide to marry, I dunno).

My mom has (VERY FEW) redeeming qualities, so I take advantage of her mama bear nature to ensure I’m safe under the same roof as my dad. I’m unintentionally appealing to her desire for a farmer-daughter by wanting to garden, though I made it very clear I will never be responsible for farm animals again. She also doesn’t mind the fact that she’ll never be a grandmother to human babies. I’m willing to bet it’s because she never wanted me and doesn’t blame me for not wanting kids of my own. She gets points for not being exactly like her own mother, but I could’ve used some meaningful and caring mother-daughter bonding instead of the distant I-see-you-as-a-burden-now-that-we-are-living-in-poverty treatment I got growing up.

I could point all of this out to my parents, and they would rather spend more time coming up with excuses or redirecting the blame instead of, you know, APOLOGIZING FIRST. And I say this because I have brushed on the topic before and they got SUPER defensive about it.

I was an accident, they got married probably so I wouldn’t be born out of wedlock and so their respective families wouldn’t look down upon them, they thought they had this and had a second kid, a year to two years later dad gets hurt at the mill and we’ve been impoverished ever since but because boys bring more promise of success than girls---especially girls who are different like I was and still am---my brother was automatically the favorite. And I was always screamed at.

Boy would I love to see a therapist instead of a one-hour visit with a counselor trying to figure out as much of why my brain is the way it is once a friggin’ week. Not blaming the counselor, because he’s awesome. But my counselor did say that he’s actually a bit surprised but glad I’ve figured out some way to live with this. It’s because I know how they act, how their minds work, how they would react if I said or did this or that. Having all of this free time and being alone with my thoughts because my husband works his ass off for pennies only for my dad to try and make him spend money on necessities instead of spending his own goddamn money has allowed me to think about and even analyze my own parents; how they act, why they act this way, why they’ve acted that way, etc.

I do consider myself lucky that they aren’t worse than this. My mom is actually much more understanding with me, now, and that’s probably because I’m the last child she has left. So I guess after living in a shit or unhappy marriage and working her ass off to raise two kids and then losing one, she tries to be the good xtian mother and be thankful for what she has now. It’s a guess, though. The whole thing could be a facade for all I fucking know.

Dad’s all talk, but because his tone is the same whether or not he makes his shitty, stupid jokes, or can’t keep certain thoughts to himself and feels the need to say them aloud (SUCH AS POINTING OUT I HAVE CLEAVAGE LIKE IT’S SOME “OMG WOW YOU HAVE BOOBIES NOW AFTER HIGH SCHOOL” IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN MY EARLY TWENTIES THANKS DAD THAT WAS CREEPY WHAT THE FUCK), it’s hard to tell whether or not he’s serious about some of the shit he says.

He projects himself onto Trump because he wants to BE Trump. Trump says if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d date her. I wouldn’t be surprised (I’d still be creeped out) if my dad said something similar. And he has tried to talk about my appearance and how I could make money with it such as a pin-up cosplay calendar because apparently I “look so attractive” while at the same time he shames me for having “skin so pale my legs blind him from reflecting so much light while I wear shorts.” And when I call him out on it, he genuinely thinks he’s done no wrong. My dad is pretty much Trump Lite, and it’s creepy.

But I know the fucker. I can play at his fucked up game, too. All I gotta do is talk about periods or vaginas, because suddenly when his daughter talks about, you know, being a human, suddenly it’s just too much for him.

And he hates I can play this fuck-ass game with him.

And I’m glad he hates it.

Because it’s evident he will never see himself in the wrong. He never has, never does, never will. Because he’s got one excuse or answer after another, and when he runs out, it’s time to drop the conversation before he gets pissed and ruins the night for everybody.

So I’m glad I’m good at playing this game back at him and being damn good at it. That’s what he gets for being a piece of shit.

#personal #rant #yep it's long #created a new account and crawled back to this site just so I could do this

[wanderingaunt]

Invisalign-ing Patience - The Parallels between Orthodontics & Starting a Business

"My business is going to take off when I'm done with my Invisalign."  -- Me, end of 2020

Life has an interesting way of teaching us lessons in patience.

When I was a pre-teen I entered into the world of orthodontics. I had a habit of sucking my pointer finger when I was a child, which pushed my teeth outward. At age 12, I got braces. As if being a middle schooler wasn’t awkward enough, getting braces topped it off. Luckily, I wasn’t alone in this stage of life. Many of my classmates and my sister, Lisa had braces alongside me. We at least got to make it a little more fun by changing the colors of our bands to match school colors and create an expression of our own. I had the added element of having a bridge in the roof of my mouth with a metal key that I would turn daily to expand my bite. It goes without saying, but I do not miss those days!

I was a structured kid who followed the rules out of expectation and approval. So naturally, when I got my braces off 2 years later, I made sure to wear my retainer every night. I wanted to be a “good” patient and seek praise from my doctor. For some reason though, when I got to college, I decided that my retainer wasn’t needed anymore. I had been wearing it for 5 years, so surely my teeth were in place by now…

Things shift in life when you let go of the structure holding it in place.

As you guessed, slowly over time, my teeth began to shift. From the outside, there wasn’t a noticeable difference. My teeth were slanted slightly, but it wasn’t anything to fuss about. What did cause a fuss, though, was my bite. I noticed that I was biting the inside of my cheek frequently when eating especially crunchy foods like apples and carrots. It was not enjoyable.

When I was in my late 20’s, I decided to go to the orthodontist to get a consultation about my bite. The first orthodontist I went to said that I would need to get braces again. Orthodontics has come a long way and made many advancements in the 16 years since I had had braces. Invisalign was a newer option that allowed you to move more freely through life without the constraint of monthly checkups or the pain experienced from wire braces. I was excited about this possibility. The orthodontist I visited said I was not a good candidate for Invisalign though, because of my bite. She said it would be a long journey (at least 2 years) and would cost at least $5,000 and not be an effective form of treatment. That was enough for me to say, “No Thank You” and go back on my merry way.

Money is often what stops us from taking action.

In this case, it wasn’t just the money that was stopping me. It was the thought of having to have braces for 2 years. I had plans. I was going to switch jobs, travel the world, and follow my dreams. And that couldn’t be done with braces.

Oh, how clever our minds can be to keep us safe from taking action.

I moved on and went back to living my patterned life. During that gap, my life really began to shake me up. I went through a long period of depression followed by taking inspired action and investing in myself through therapy, transformational programs, and retreats. 2017 was the year that things really began to shift. I dubbed 2017 as My Year of Action. I reached a point of exhaustion by repeating the same patterns, and not taking action towards what I said I wanted. I committed to showing up for myself consistently in ways I hadn’t done prior. It was the year I went on my first international retreat in Guatemala and realized that I was playing it safe in life. I knew after that retreat that it was time for me to quit my job of over a decade and follow my dream of traveling the world.

When I returned home from Guatemala, I raised the bar in showing up for myself inside of my Word of the Year, Action. I went to the dentist and told her that my bite was bothering me. She referred me to an orthodontist whom she highly recommended (Dr. Ortega at White Rock Orthodontics). I immediately booked a consultation. During the consultation, I learned that I was in fact a candidate for Invisalign. Dr. Ortega was confident that I could continue to live my spontaneous lifestyle as a traveler while correcting my bite. He said it would be a long journey and take at least 2 to 2 1/2 years. After all, teeth, especially molars, don’t move overnight.

My fear was screaming at me that this was too long and wouldn’t work, but my intuition knew it was time.

I thought back to my initial orthodontist consult 3-4 years prior. Had I committed to the process then, I would’ve been finished now. I didn’t want to wait another 4 years and be back in this same place with no action. So, on August 22, 2017, I committed to getting Invisalign and going down the path to fixing my bite. I had no idea that by making this commitment I’d also be opening myself up to the longest and most beautiful lesson in patience. After the initial “getting used to having attachments on my teeth”, Invisalign became a part of my lifestyle. I learned to embrace my smile and work my life around appointments. In the past, I would’ve been self-conscious about showing my smile with attachments on my teeth, but I learned that most didn’t even notice it. It became a part of me. I modeled in at least a dozen photoshoots and continued to travel all over the world while stopping back in Dallas every 4 to 5 months to get new trays.

When I hit the 2.5-year mark, I was a little disheartened to learn that my molars still needed more time to move. I received a whole new box of trays starting back to tray 1 of 24. At the rate of changing trays every two weeks, I was looking at least another year. I had made it this far, what was another year? That was a statement I never would’ve embraced prior to this journey. I used to think a month was a long time and that a year was an eternity… oh how naive I was.

It was around this time that I had also started my business and was navigating the world of being my own boss and learning to charge for my services. I thought committing to a multi-year journey with my teeth was challenging. Starting my own business, however, there was no preparing me for this ride.

It’s one thing to enter into something knowing how long it will take; it’s another to enter into something blindly believing it’s going to take off right away.

There are a lot of romantic success stories that entrepreneurs share that suck the newbies in:

I just had my first $10,000 month!

I went from broke to rich just by putting myself out there.

I have more clients than I know what to do with.

I made $50,000 doing one event.

While these are legit scenarios among many service-based entrepreneurs, it is not a common narrative. What’s missing from these stories is the work behind the scenes and more importantly, the internal work that others rarely see. So, while I celebrate business owners who reach these milestones (and wish to achieve levels like this myself), the way the stories are often shared can be a bit disheartening to those of us who are still building and refining our message and offerings.

If I was to share any wisdom with wannabe or newbie entrepreneurs, it would be to have patience. Take things one step at a time. One day at a time. Trust in the process and learn from those who have been where you want to go.

It was frustrating to hear from my orthodontist that I’d have to wear my Invisalign for another year to a year and a half. I wanted to quit and held back tears in the chair when I learned again that it would be yet another 6 months. But, I was so grateful that he was honest with me and asked me to trust in the process and trust that it would be worth it.

This journey with Invisalign has had so many parallels to running a business.

Timing is not something that’s always so easily predictable. I learned during this process to let go of linear time and trust in divine timing. There was a deep knowing that the process with Invisalign was here to teach me patience in all areas of my life. It taught me to trust in divine timing with the launch of new offerings and services within my business.

Don’t compare your timing or results to others’ journeys. I’ve had several friends get Invisalign as adults and the process only took them 6 to 9 months. When I first considered going down the path of orthodontics, I thought it would only take 9 months because that’s what I had heard from so many. But that wasn’t the case for me. My situation was completely different than theirs and would take more time. There was no sense in comparing my timing to theirs because it was unique to me just as theirs was unique to them. The same is with business. These days they say it takes 18-24 months for the average business to make a profit. While some can get there quicker, don’t discount all of the navigating, refining, and planning that takes place in the beginning phases.

Release attachment to the how and when. When I learned that the process would be longer than 2.5 years with my teeth, I learned to let go of expectations and surrender to the process. I couldn’t force my teeth to move. They had to go at their own pace, just as I’ve had to learn to go at my own pace in business. In 2020, I was set to lead my first international retreat in Spain. This was a big and exciting step for me! And then the pandemic hit. My travels, this retreat, business, and offerings were put on hold. I had to learn to pivot, try on new offerings, and release control.

Just when you think you’re done, another path appears. I attribute much of my journey to climbing a mountain. The peak can look so close to you as you’re moving towards it. But just when you think you’ve reached the top, another hill or path appears. It’s not as close as it looked. So then you’re faced with a choice, do you keep going? Or, do you turn around and call it done? I could’ve told my orthodontist that I was done when I learned I had another 12 to 18 months to go. But I knew from experience that the journey to the top is worth it. It’s worth it to keep going. The lessons learned along the way are priceless.

Consistency is key. My teeth would not have moved had I not worn my trays daily and overnight. While I didn’t always follow the recommended wear of 22 hours per day, I never went a day or night without wearing my trays. It was not easy to commit to at first, but after weeks of establishing a routine, I got used to the consistency and began to see results with each new tray and each check-up. I’ve dabbled so much in my business trying on different services and offerings. I’ve not been the best at sending regular newsletters or following what the “experts” say you’re supposed to do to run a successful business. But I have continuously shown up through the good and the hard. I learned that My Why was the foundation (or the trays like with my Invisalign) for everything that I do. And no matter what is happening in my life, as long as I’m holding to My Why, I will continue to show up and be seen.

When you learn to fully surrender and embrace the process, things begin to shift.

At the end of 2020, I learned that I had another 7 to 8 months left with my Invisalign. And I knew there was no point in fighting it. After all, I had already made it this far. So I surrendered and accepted where I was. I remember declaring to my sister, “My business is going to take off when I'm done with my Invisalign.” While I was half-joking, I had this sense that things would shift when I finally learned to let go of control, trust, and be patient.

I wanted to give up many times with my Invisalign. Just like I’ve wanted to give up many times with my business. I’ve gone through the common cycle that many entrepreneurs face of wanting to quit and find a regular job. Yet, something keeps me on this path. There’s a deep knowing within that I’m meant to keep climbing. I’ve come a long way on this journey. The pandemic showed me that I am capable of slowing down and being in one place for a time. It taught me that it’s okay to try on different avenues and embrace all of the many skills I have. It’s taught me to ask for support and open up to receiving. I’ve had to ask many friends and my sister and her husband to support me several times in the last year with money for bills and, at times, food. It has not been easy to ask, but it has been so humbling to receive.

It’s been my greatest lesson in patience. When I finally surrendered to the process, I let go of attachment to the end. At the beginning of June 2021, I went in for what I thought was a normal checkup for my Invisalign to learn that it was actually the day to have my attachments removed and be fitted for a permanent retainer.

Letting go of attachment allowed me to reach the finish line.

And guess what? My declaration has started to show evidence of the payoff from being patient. Last year, I applied for a grant with the Small Business Association (SBA) for Covid relief, and I was denied. I applied for unemployment and again, I was denied. I didn’t earn enough to be considered.

Last week, I went in for a 6-week follow-up for my permanent retainer. It was my final appointment for this leg of the journey. Everyone cheered me on and congratulated me as I walked out of the building. And at that moment, I knew. Things finally were shifting.

I reapplied several weeks ago for an EIDL Covid Relief grant through the SBA. Monday, I woke up to find a generous sum of money in my account.

While I did receive a large portion of money overnight, the work that went into being patient, trusting, and surrendering to the process did not happen overnight.

I wasn’t ready to get orthodontics when I first went in for a consultation. I was meant to go on this 4-year journey at this time in my life. And the same is with the grant money. Had I gotten the money last year when I first applied, I would’ve used it to escape rather than face my pain.

Patience is a beautiful teacher and one of the most challenging lessons we will ever learn.

Where in your life are you afraid to start out of fear of how long the process will take?

Where in your life are you wanting to speed up the process to be done rather than soak in the journey?

Where in your life are you wanting to quit because it’s gotten too hard or you simply can’t wait any longer?

Where in your life are you comparing your timing and your journey to others’ stories rather than embracing your pace?

I invite you to reflect on these questions and see what arises. And if you find yourself desiring support, reach out to me. I created a new customized program to support you with where you are now that is designed to fit how you best operate. Send me a message or schedule a curiosity call to learn more.

#invisalign #patience #patient #life lessons #trust #surrender #business #entrepreneur #solopreneur

[iggysmice]

My 2020 story: suffering everything except the COVID

This will get long so heres the tldr of it: 2020 was bad luck for me because I had some health problems occur but somehow my family did not get covid despite at one point 3/4 of us working outside the house.

Alright look under the readmore for details

New years eve 2019. I am sitting groggy and cranky in an emergency dentist office because my teeth just randomly started hurting so bad I couldn't sleep. This is the second time I have been to this building, the first was several days earlier and I was dismissed as being dramatic. This dentist actually looked in my mouth and told us: my wisdom teeth were coming in and none of them were doing it well. I didn't like this because I am ridiculously afraid of the dentist, like I could work myself into a panic about it right now if I had to. But we got the extraction appointment set for March 2020.

March 2020. After a lot of debate, my beloved Aly has to leave our apartment and go stay with some distant relatives in the middle of nowhere. I still have to go let someone crank teeth out of my head in two days. This goes about as well as you'd expect someone with untreated anxiety to have it go. I am told I will need to be sedated for it to be done. The hospital we were directed to assured my mom that it would only be a couple weeks as they'd been informed of my pain level and were trying to address it quickly.

Two weeks later, the entire country shut down because of COVID. Our governor soon announced that nonessential medical procedures (read: all dental care) was postponed until at least May 18th.

April 2020: I almost get septic yet again from an abscess somewhere on my body, my inner thigh this time. We have no idea why these keep occurring and I fear I may die of one someday.

July 2020. We finally get my surgery scheduled.... for the end of August. It has come to light that none of my teeth are in a state to come out normally, so a full-blown surgery was inevitable. I find out I'll need a COVID test a day or so before the surgery. I hope they have the rapid tests and don't need to swab my brain like you saw on TV at this time.

August 2020:

They had to swab my brain. A swab up into the back of each nostril while my dad held my head in place and I tried not to cough and gag too hard on the nurse doing it. I was informed I handled it better than most grown men.

The surgery went off without a hitch and I was soon recovered and living life with no more mouth pain! My next hurdle was a checkup with a primary care doctor and a medication adjustment.

October 2020. I was given two new medications to manage my conditions. I was diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) as the cause of my abscesses, and given a low dose of antibiotics to control them. I was thrilled to know it was actually something wrong in my body and not just a failing of some sort on my part. I was also given medicine for the aforementioned anxiety.

November 2020.

I woke up the night before Aly and I were to go out for the day feeling unwell and upon further analysis I had a fever of 100.5, so we canceled the outing and I felt salty about getting sick.

A week or so later on the 11th I felt kind of sick and very cold in my room. It had recently quit being summertime warm and I had been particularly bad at eating nutritious stuff lately, so I thought nothing of it and went to sit in the living room where it was warmer. No matter what I did I could not stop the shivers that rattled my whole chest. I asked my mom for the thermometer, prepared to reassure myself I was not in fact sick and was just being dramatic about being cold/slightly malnourished.

My temperature was 102.

Over the next few hours it would continue to go up until my mom very nearly considered bringing me to the ER at 9pm on a work night during the pandemic. The highest spike was 103.7, very risky for an adult to have for long. I felt like I was a crock pot slowly cooking my insides into stew. My mom had me flip my shirt up so she could be sure I didn't have a rash (meningitis and my tendency for infections bc of the HS and all) and as she felt my back for any evidence of one she said "sheesh kid, you feel like a furnace."

My feverish brain thought that yes I did feel very furnacey (conjuring an image of the orange glow of the minecraft version), so I went "Yeah."

Eventually the fever broke and I went to bed. Two days and another scary spike in fever later and I was sitting in urgent care ready to be tested for COVID again.

Except it wasn't that. And it wasn't the flu. Or pneumonia, bronchitis, or even strep. The urgent care sent me home with a "that's one hell of a cold, come back if it keeps happening."

I also had a horribly itchy rash on my chest and back that went away in a few days. We assumed the antibiotic I'd started taking was the problem because the rash faded as I stopped taking it. Having my entire back itch like crazy is not something I'd ever want to have happen again. I also had a bit of a prickly heat rash on my face from the high fevers which made me look like a by-then almost former president... only red instead of orange on my face.

Time passed and though I was weak and didn't have much appetite, I seemed to be ok and didn't spike any more fevers, until the 23rd, my birthday. I was already dealing with mysterious body aches and a painful foot from what I thought was sitting weirdly for too long, and then my fever hit 101. On top of all that I started my period for the first time in years and didn't know why. The spraytan-like heat rash left my face though, which was nice and helped me appear normal again.

A couple days later, I noticed a rash on my hands, a rash made of bright red dots and blotches on my palms and the backs. My mom, grizzled daycare teacher, saw that and my moderate fever and said I must have the child's disease, Hand, Foot and Mouth. HFM is a virus most kids build immunity to via daycare and school by the time they're 10. I never went to daycare and due to a rocky elementary school journey I was not often around the other kids there either. So it was incredibly possible I just never got HFM exposure as a kid and would now suffer through the more severe adult variant.

Within 12 hours the rash was on my feet too. It felt like walking on knives by now to use them and I routinely denied myself things like food and water because it hurt so badly to try and get up. When I did get upright, I hobbled in the way of someone with problems in all their joints, swinging my legs at the hip to get momentum without moving much. My back had random spasms up and down it that made me cry out with the pain, and a few of my rash spots began to blister. I also started to see bruise-like marks on my forearms that I thought must be from my general clumsiness.

So we know I'm still not well, but why?Backing up to the end of October, one of the medications I was given was Lamictal, chemical name lamotrigine. This is a medication my mom has been taking for her anxiety symptoms for a decade, so I tried it too in the hopes our similar genetic makeup may mean it works for me. It did, and my anxiety was pretty much deleted.

One of the things you have to look out for when you take lamictal, though, is a severe but extremely rare reaction that starts out as nonspecific symptoms such as itchy rash that fades over time or fever and then begins to mess up your organs. It's called anticonvulsant hypersensitivity syndrome and it can be deadly.

I showed my doctor the rash I had via the messaging service my clinic uses and she called me frantically to tell me I had to stop the lamictal immediately and be seen by someone asap. I had an appointment with her the next day, so she said I did not have to go to another urgent care. I limped into that doctors office disoriented and mildly feverish on my stabbing knife feet that were practically too swollen to put in my shoes and was told I was very sick and still in a lot of danger from the reaction I was having.

Lamictal, like most psychiatric medication, has to build up in your body to be effective. Since I'm for all intents and purposes deathly allergic to lamictal, that means that build up id been working on dutifully all month could have killed me. I seemed fairly alert and had walked into the clinic on my own, so the doctor couldn't have me hospitalized even though I think she wanted to, at least for the night. So instead she told me to watch my rash carefully and if it did anything other than fade to go to the emergency room.

My body aches and weakness went away over the next few weeks, the rash faded too and now I have some dark colored scars from the "blisters" and "bruises" that was actually in fact my skin getting ready to come loose and slough off. My organ function is normal although it's possible my liver will be sensitive to toxins for a while. I get pretty sick when I try to drink too much (read "more than one cocktails worth") alcohol these days and I know the liver is what handles that so that must be where the problem is.

All in all I got the sickest I've ever been in 2020, and also four of my teeth are gone. But I also discovered how tough I can apparently be and that I have a rare allergy, so it wasn't all bad. At least it wasn't the COVID.

#iggy rambles nonsense #2020 #my 2020 was a dumpster fire but the reasons may shock you #i did lose like 15lbs so try the 'being too deathly ill to eat' diet #do not do that

[shookethbrooketh]

Are yours coming in? I had to get mine out because my mouth was too small. Actually, in the same day/procedure they pulled out 4 wisdom teeth and 4 other ones so that I could get braces and space my teeth out normally (like I said, small jaw). I choose to be put under because I'm really bad with dentist things... So I had an iv in my hand and fell asleep instantly and it felt like 10 seconds went past and when I woke up (1)

1. i think they are. i’ve been getting this tooth in the last couple of days and i remembered that they told me when i went to the dentist 6 months ago that i had all four wisdom teeth but they probably wouldn’t come in for a couple years. i was curious so i googled a diagram of the human mouth and counted the teeth and i’m 99.9% sure it’s a wisdom tooth. i have to go to the dentist next month and they’re going to find out and i’m so fucking scared. 

2. luckily i don’t need braces if i have to get them out it’ll JUST be the wisdom teeth but it’ll probably be all four so yeah i don’t get a side of my mouth that i can chew on :,)

3. wait you can CHOOSE to be put under?? half the reason i’m scared shitless is anesthesia... 

4. oh no not an iv those scare me needles scare me nonononono fuck no i’ve never been in the hospital i’ve never had an iv i’ve never had anesthesia all that stuff fucks me up fuck no

#not phan #personal #answered #limitlessphan #ask

[artistic-writer]

nosy not so anon

@kmomof4 said she wants all of these...and not anon....she is such a rebel ;)

nosy anons let's go

0: Height: I am 5���10/178cm

1: Age: I am 31

2: Shoe size: UK 9/US 10/ EU 44

3: Do you smoke? Nope never have, never will

4: Do you drink? Yes, mostly Guiness, Ales and Gin <3

5: Do you take drugs? Nope, never have, never will.

6: Age you get mistaken for: Early twenties is most people’s guess.  I often get mistaken for my husband’s daughter lol

7: Have tattoos? yes! I LOVE tattoos. I have eight so far :)

8: Want any tattoos? YES always.  I am currently planning a few Star Wars ones but i just don’t know where to put them.  I have an issues with not being able to see my tattoos, so i only get them on my arms and legs where i can see them.

9: Got any piercings? My parents pierced my ears when i was 9 months old, but i don’t really wear earrings.  I had my eyebrow pierced when i was about 14 and it got ripped out in a hockey match and then i had a scaffold that my body rejected.  Generally, piercing make my skin itch so i prefer tattoos.

10: Want any piercings? Nope.

11: Best friend? My husband <3

12: Relationship status: Married <3

13: Biggest turn ons: Is this a bedroom question? lol  I will go generally in a partner - beards and bellies <3

14: Biggest turn offs: People who spend more time looking at their phones than their partners, people who spend an obscene amount of time and money to “look good” - you are all beautiful exactly how you were created!  Let your natural light shine :)

15: Favorite movie: For as long as I can recall, my favourite movie has been Jurassic Park but i have soooo many!  

16: I’ll love you if...you are kind to animals and other people, regardless of how they treat you.  If you can keep your cool when someone is berating you, you are a bigger person than they will ever be.

17: Someone you miss: I used to have a customer at work who was retired but younger than her husband and so he still worked.  Every day she would come into the coffee shopat 11am and i would sit and have my lunch with her.  She used to tell me all about her days when her husband was in the army, how they met when she was 17 and fell in love back in Ireland, how they lived in Germany and her hobbies.  We discovered she lived really close to me, so my husband and I used to go visit her sometimes, and we took her to Ikea and few times because she couldn’t drive.  She wasn’t feeling well for a while and when she went to the doctors she was told she had cancer, end stage, 3 months to live.  It was all a blur, and happened so fast I couldn’t process all the information i was given about what was happening to my friend.  One day i went into work, after having a week off, and a mutual friend/customer was crying and I asked why and she just said “Ruth died.”  It hit me like a ton of bricks and i had to go out back to cry in the alley way with my colleague.  We all got special permission to have the day off for her funeral and her family consider us as more than just baristas - we knew her for over five years, saw her every day and we were her friends.  I miss her every day at 11am when she doesn’t walk through the door anymore.

18: Most traumatic experience: oh my god.  Because I am most wise, I grew 4 wisdom teeth, but one was causing me a toothache.  I hadn’t been to a dentist for 15 years (coward lol) and so i walked around with a toothache for over 10 months.  Then it got so bad, I HAD to go, and after some xrays I needed it surgically removed at the hospital.  Further scans showed the root was touching a nerve in my face, and despite maxing me out with numbing agent, I could feel everything.  So, like something out of a horror movie, I had a wisdom tooth surgically removed whilst laying back in a chair in a dimly lit hospital room and felt every single thing.  They put my husband in the next room and turned up the radio so he couldnt hear me crying.  The dentist also punched a hole in another tooth, but I’ll be dead before I go to another dentist lol

19: A fact about your personality: I have a very dry wit and sense of humour in RL, but i tone it down online because I can be offensive lol

20: What I hate most about myself: Physcially, my neck. Its so long and gross.  Other than that, i hate the way my anxiety can rule my life sometimes :(

21: What I love most about myself: I have a great ass ;)

22: What I want to be when I get older: I just want to be as happy as I am now :)

23: My relationship with my sibling(s): I have a better relationship with my brothers than my sister, but we are all adults so live apart now and don’t see each other much.  I am not really fussed about this fact as i have always been the outcast in my family lol  Strange fact: I am on the autistic spectrum and have an issue with being touched, but there is absolutely NOBODY who makes my skin burn like my sister.  Bless her heart, she has done nothing, but I only hug her once a year, at Christmas.  

24: My relationship with my parent(s): My parents divorced when i was 7 and so i haven't spoken to my dad since then and i drifted apart from my mum.  Eventually, i moved in with my grandparents when i was 9 and they raised me

25: My idea of a perfect date: Steak and blowjobs! ;)

26: My biggest pet peeves: people who disrespect the elderly makes my blood boil.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like: Well, my husband is a bearded man with a belly and glorious chest hair :p

28: A description of the person I dislike the most: I don’t really dislike many people - i try to see the good in everyone and treat others how i would want to be treated, regardless of how they engage with me.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend: Umm...I can’t lie lol.  And I don’t have many friends lol

30: What I hate the most about work/school: The hours. I work from 6:15-6:30 every day which means, including travel, my day lasts from 5am-7:30pm.  When you only sleep 4-5 hours a night, that doesnt leave much room for anything else 

31: What my last text message says: received: “Dog sitter needed 28th of this month...any chance?” sent: “How wide is your hotdog hallway now?” (lol my sister had a baby last night!)

32: What words upset me the most: I was previously in an abusive relationship (emotional and physical) and some of the things he said to me to manipulate my anxiety still make me question what i ever saw in him to this day, or why i didn’t notice what he was doing.

33: What words make me feel the best about myself: Until i met my husband, nobody had ever told me i was pretty.  and now he tells me all the time.  We have also never gone to bed without saying ‘i love you’ in over a decade <3

34: What I find attractive in women: Legs. omg legs.  I am a leg person lol.

35: What I find attractive in men: Beards and bellies ;)  And I have a thing for ears...

36: Where I would like to live: Somewhere remote, where no one can find me lol

37: One of my insecurities: (editing this in! Thanks @rouhn ) Probably that my husband will find someone he likes more than me :(

38: My childhood career choice: I always  wanted to be a vet, and then i had to have my first pet put to sleep and my vet cried with me, and I realized that i couldn’t do that to other people.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor: Mint choc chip. I will fight you.

40: Who I wish I could be: I don’t want to be anyone else ;)

41: Where I want to be right now: Nowhere else but at home, with a cup of tea and writing.

42: The last thing I ate: Crumpets for breakfast <3

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: my husband...because, well. he is to me.  

44: A random fact about anything: I have something called Chromesthesia, which is a type of Synesthesia so you can ask me about that if you like :D

#nosy anon #salem says