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skippyv20 · 2 years

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Our Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for Cooper Roberts, 8 yrs old is paralyzed from the waist down after being shot at Highland Park. Prayers for his family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who just got a job, and is very excited, but nervous as it is a whole new area for her.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who is battling addiction (once again)…. We pray for our friend’s daughter, and our friend and her family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s husband who had surgery to remove a tumor. Surgery went well. We pray for good results and a good prognosis. Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who has Stage 1 cancer and on July 7th, she will have a robot assisted (!) total hysterectomy which is considered a cure. The bonus is that the surgery is considered out patient surgery and she will be able to go home that same day. She would appreciate continued prayers until she is back on my feet.

Prayers and good thoughts for Dame Deborah James’ family as their mourn her loss. We pray for peace and comfort for the family. Prayers and good thoughts for Kaitlyn and Matt who have suffered the loss of their baby girl at 21 weeks gestation. They are having a very difficult time, please pray for comfort.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who is a whistleblower at her school. Due to that, she is being singled out while others are rewarded. We pray for Justice.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is mourning the loss of her father. Prayers and good thoughts for her family.

Prayers and good thoughts for Dave Meyers going through chemo treatments.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is having dealing with challenging pain in both hips and walking is difficult.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is very worried about her senior aged parents. The relationship between her and her parents is somewhat distant. She has been praying for them to all be closer.

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend whose father has just passed away. Prayers for the family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s father with Parkinson’s. We pray for strength for him and family as they face challenges.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s grandfather who had a stroke and is in a coma. Prayers also for the family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our Novenas Baby James, James is still going and he’s started some physical therapy to catch up on some milestones. He’s a bit behind because of his time in hospital, but otherwise he’s a persistent little one with four teeth already! I can’t believe we’re just a couple.of weeks from his first birthday.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend and her family. We pray for her daughter who is an alcoholic. We pray for her children. We pray for her oldest son who is trying to get his life back on track.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is going to be audited before approval of disability payments. Praying all works in her favor.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend and her two cats. She is very overwhelmed. Her mother is entering last stage of life, she is dealing with someone difficult in her life, her fears are coming to be true. She needs prayers for strength in the times ahead. She is also dealing with an evil landlord.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who has recently moved to the US and is seeking employment.

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend who is in horrible pain caused by a pinched nerve in her shoulder, and extreme pain in her hip.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter and grandchildren age 3 yrs and 18 months. Her daughter makes too much money for government assistance. She can’t afford therapy for both. Our friend helps her as much as she can, but they need help. They need a miracle.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is suffering from heart failure, and feeling so poorly.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who suffers from bouts of depression, and is feeling alone.

Prayers and good thoughts for our little 9 yr old Novenas boy who has had a bone marrow transplant and is having some complications. He is a fighter, but he and his family could really use prayers to help them through the tougher days. (Prayers and good thoughts for our 9 yr old Novenas boy. He has had his bone marrow surgery recently. We pray for his quick recovery, that the surgery was a success, and that he will have a great prognosis.)

Prayers and good thoughts for Richard, who is recovering well, but still struggles with speech.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who had Covid a few weeks ago & haven’t felt right since. Her doctors say she has Long Covid Symptoms! She suffers from anxiety, depression, insomnia and panic attacks. Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s 18 month old granddaughter Allie, who is very, very sick fighting a skin disease in the hospital. Dr’s think she had some type of autoimmune disease & will be battling skin problems her whole life! Dr’s have put her on some type of cancer medicine to see if that will give her some relief

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is has surgery for bilateral mastectomy, and is recovering.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s 18 year old daughter who is healing and taking steps forward. She is still struggling.

Prayers and good thoughts for Carol. Carol is very overwhelmed by life’s trials.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s cousin who has 4 children, and has terminal cancer.

Prayers and good thoughts for our 8 month old Novenas boy who has had a bone marrow transplant. Praying for his complete healing and quick recovery. Praying for him to have a long, healthy, happy life. Prayers for his family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is estranged from her daughter. Our friend is overwhelmed with worry. Praying they will reconcile.

Prayers and good thoughts for Baby James’ “heart” brother William. He has had surgery and is now recovering, we pray for him to stay strong. He is doing well. We pray for his family.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend whose mother has pancreatic cancer once again. It is terminal. Praying for peace, comfort and for all the family to feel God’s loving presence.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s husband from our Novenas, who is battling pancreatic cancer. He is just out of the hospital. He is not worse, so that is a blessing. His 7yr old son is having a hard time.

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend little m who is mourning the loss of her beloved husband, and she is feeling weak & quite tired. He was her caregiver as well. We pray for God to place earth angels on her path, to ease her burdens as she moves forward.

Prayer and good thoughts for our friend’s friend. She has just had surgery to remove cancer from her arm, but is too ill to have skin graft. Now her cancer is returning and she will need another op or radiotherapy. Tests ongoing. She has underlying health conditions and her husband has Alzheimers.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend. We are praying she doesn’t have a relapse, and can go forward in good health.

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend Storm who is struggling with life’s trials. Praying for her burdens to be lifted.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend Finding the Way Anon and her family who are going through many trials right now. Praying for their burdens to be lifted.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend PG.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s friend in Kyiv and her family

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s 5 yr old son who has speech delay/echolalia. Our friend is quite sure he has ADHD , but am now worried that the echolalia means she needs to consider ASD as well. Also, please pray for our friend as she is so stressed.

If I left anyone out, please let me know…if there are updates or corrections required…please let me know….

God Bless you and thank you for joining us in prayers and good thoughts…🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️

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starshiprangerash · 1 year

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I'm just gonna talk about some personal stuff, essentially dumping everything in this post. I don't expect anyone to read it, hence the read more cut. I just want to type it all out, I think it'll help a lot. So feel free to ignore this.

Let me just recap this year a little, well over a year.

So, about October of last year my dad got an infection. Now I don't what kind, or how, or anything. He wasn't keen on telling us stuff. But he couldn't had this, cause I was the one who had to stay with him to make sure he took his medicine.

And things seemed to pretty fine, and then July happened. And oh boy did the universe decide to have some fun timing.

So, June 30th, Techno's dad posts the video announcing that sadly Techno had lost his battle to cancer.

July 1st, I wake up go downstairs, ans my mom tells me my aunt has cancer. (here's a fun fact I only have 2 aunts, and the other one died from cancer a few years ago)

And then the end of the month comes along, where me and my sister go on vacation with my dad's girlfriend's family. During which my dad has to go back home for a doctor's appointment. While he's gone, me and my sister find out, he wasn't fine. He had been in and out of the hospital for months. That realization hurt. We all thought he was doing fine. So when he comes back, I tell him he can't hide that, we want to know, and there's an agreement reached.

August 10th, I have the most interesting first 20 minutes of consciousness. Cause hey that's when Oli posted his first Empire's video. And it's also when my dad got admitted in the hospital. And it's also when my mom came into my room to tell me my grandpa had cancer.

And thus began the month where someone was in the hospital all the time. And I'm not exgerrating, I kept track. The longest no one was in the hospital was 18 hours. Either my dad, grandpa, or grandma was in the hospital. Sometimes all at once. Yippee.

And then September. The first to be exact. My mom comes into my room to wake me up. They had to intubate my dad. My sister was coming soon, and we were going to go over to say our goodbyes. Luckily he pulled through. The 10th, Grandpa is rushed to the hospital. He never leaves. He died on the 15th. I didn't much care, he was a miserable man who made everyone around him miserable. But it still happened. Didn't hit till two days ago when the Christmas Eve party text went out. He always played piano.

And things liked good after that. My aunt was getting chemo, grandma was doing fine for her age, and my dad was getting stronger. He's eating, he's trying to talk. We visited on Thanksgiving.

December 3rd. My dog's barking wakes me up. I text my mom asking if she wants me to send him down or if I should wait, cause I know she might be cleaning the floors. She just says my sister is coming. My sister arrives, and they both come into my room. The first thought that passes through my head was "The last time they had to sit down like this was when my cat died while I was at work" almost jokingly say that. Only reason I don't is cause I get a message that distracts me long enough for my sister to rip the band-aid off.

And I understood what people meant when they say "time stood still" or "they felt the world flip upside down" Cause that's what happened. Two words. Two words I haven't been able to repeat.

Look my dad wasn't the world's best dad, but goddammit he was mine. And it's been in waves. Like that first day I was a wreck, and yes I went to work. It helped. It was a distraction. Every person who found out (either from putting two and two together or from a text I had my sister send cause I couldn't) asked me why I was there? Cause i needed to be, not in a work way, but in a distraction way.

Also I should mention, my mom's birthday is December 5th, ain't that some funny timing as well.

I guess this is the part where I ramble. Cause I haven't been able to fully process this. Or maybe I yell cause it's not fucking fair. Cause it isn't. My grandpa who was a shitty person got so much time with his kids. Ans he fucking wasted it, leaving a mess in his wake. My dad got so little with his. My grandpa saw one of his grandkids get married. My dad didn't even see his kids get married. He deserved more. Maybe I deserved to have a dad longer. I don't know.

I do know my life is different. I do know I'll have to process this with more than just jokes. I also know I'm tired of "are you alright?" I know I'm tired of "I'm sorrys".

If you did read this, just know I know. You're thinking you wish well wishes, thoughts prayers, virtual hugs, or whatever. I know. And while I do appreciate it, I don't need to read it. Just know I know and appreciate it. Or maybe do tell. I don't know. This whole grief and healing thing is confusing. I don't like it. But I can't avoid it. Is that why people still say all those things? Cause it helps the process. You can't deny or ignore it. Maybe. I don't know.

But I do know I need to end this with those two words. The words said to me on December 2nd. The two words I haven't said. The two words that changed my life. The two words I refuse to type. (though it'll be three in this case)

My dad died.

#ash's grief talks #just in case i talk more #might though #writing things out helps #i think #it helped with the other stuff

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mistahgrundy · 2 years

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Please help Rowan

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hp3x4-help-me-not-lose-my-home?member=17624197&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

I know their go fund me looks fully funded but it’s not, that’s the goal that was set back in december and they haven’t updated it. They still need help.

Rowan was kicked from their house in their teens (I’m sorry I’m using they/them because I’m not entirely sure on their pronouns I think it might be he/him but I don’t want to assume) for being queer. They spent some time being homeless and then finally got out of that and went back to school to become a mortician when they got diagnosed with cancer

Since 2020 I’ve been posting in a PMF thread called Passing Time In Chemotherapy: A Diary, which has been equal parts me talking about fighting Stage Four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and being given two months to live, and equal parts screaming about how horrible the American Healthcare System is and trying to make a case for universal healthcare. Briefly I went into remission and then my cancer returned. I also have Stage 1 breast cancer. These last two weeks I have been in the hospital with a kidney disease likely brought on by my chemotherapy treatments, and a lung disease which I need tests to rule out that it’s lung cancer. The problem is I need $4500 to continue receiving care because I am am several hundred thousands dollars in debt due to my chemotherapy. Each chemo treatment cost me $50k after insurance, which no sane person has, so the debt has built up to the point where I am being held hostage for micropayments in the thousands of dollars range in order to receive life saving treatments. I received mod approval to post a GoFundMe I set up in order to pay just for December healthcare bills. I will either lose treatment or lose my home, and I was recently homeless over a year a few years ago and would not like to repeat the experience. My wife is permanently disabled after her battle with Ovarian Cancer (and needs another $800 down payment foe a surgery but that’s ANOTHER can of worms). Basically, without goon help, I am fucked. I have zero plans for Christmas or any holidays this season because I’m too busy fighting to keep my home and my health. My GFM is nearly halfway funded as it is, and on the off chance that it gets overfunded the excess will go towards my wife’s surgery. Both my GFM page and my PMF thread show I am very transparent with where the money goes and what it’s spent on, so no worries there. You can find my GoFundMe here! I intent to post an update to it this evening to keep everyone up to date with health stuff. If you would rather donate something other than money, which I totally get, I have an Amazon wishlist here which is mostly household things we need and food for the cats. I will happily post pictures of them in the thread. They are very sweet baby who cry if a stranger comes to the apartment and doesn’t pick them up. I’ll try to stay on top of removing items from the wishlist as they get bought. I’m not very good with signing off posts, but if anyone has any questions about Lymphona or chemo or the american healthcare system (or just want to see cat photos!) please feel free to ask and I’ll answer as best I can! Thank you in advance for your generosity and kindness. Bless. Edit 12/10: It was suggested that I throw my Venmo in the OP for those who would rather donate that way! Venmo: @moringottos Paypal (please ignore my deadname it’s a nightmare to change): paypal.me/necromancermoons

This is their update today, May 25 2022:

The minimum payments for my medical bills in arrears (mostly chemo) comes out of my bank account automatically to prevent them from suing me over it. I’ve already used my one (1) free grace period of “please give me a few more days before you take my money” according to the lady on the phone, so I’m left with $0.11 in my bank account with several bills, including rent, looming on the horizon. The electric company has already made it very clear they will not hesitate to cut off my power if I even act like I’m going to be late. What do you even do when faced with this level of “fuck you entirely”? I keep telling myself that people are inherently good, but between this and the news and the man at the insurance company writing me a polite email that says “if you have another cancer, try dying this time”, I’m starting to have a hard time with it.

May 18, 2022 7:32 PM

Due to some concerning test results my oncologist is now pushing for testing for multiple myeloma. MM killed my birth dad. I think I may have sorta blacked out during half of what she said. I asked her if it was usual to have this sort of insane cancerous comorbidity, she said it’s not impossible. The imagining center got back to me FINALLY. They said even though my insurance is up in the air and they usually require payment at time of service, my doctors have been hounding them enough that they will let me have a payment plan for x-rays and scans costs. I’ve had enough biopsies that the MM tests don’t scare me like they would have two years ago. Immediately after my lung biopsy I threw up a ton of blackish blood so I feel inoculated to the trauma. Anyways at this point it feels silly, like my body is throwing this massive temper tantrum that it doesn’t want to be here anymore and it’s like “understandable, but consider: we can’t let capitalism win”. Also god won’t let me die because then I’ll be his problem.

the threads: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3987338&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 I believe this one isn’t paywalled

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3916924 but this one might be, this is their diary of day to days of discovering the cancer (they went to the hospital for covid originally). warning: this thread might be very upsetting and hard to read if you have hospital or cancer trauma. or even without

#please reblog and boost #fuck cancer

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mieteve-minijoma · 2 years

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Hey, loved “scars and souvenirs” so much! Btw are you going to continue “five years”?

Hello nonnies, I figured I'd answer both of these in one!

I'm so glad that you guys have enjoyed reading Five Years as much as I have had writing it. It's absolutely one of my favorite things I have written. I will be continuing it, and the final chapter is almost complete. (I may or may not have ideas for a sequel buuuut not sure if I am gonna go there yet or not).

Now, for a little transparency: I just got back into writing again after a horrible 2021. Between my father battling stage 3 pancreatic cancer and my own battle with cancer at the same time, it stressed me to the point of writers block and just all out mental fatigue.

Things had been better the last few months, and I got inspired to write some, but the last month things took a turn.

My husband has photosensitive epilepsy and he had been having grand mal seizures every two months. Since Dec 30th, he has had 3 (two of which happened 2 days ago). He is struggling physically and I am having to take care of him, my kids, our 3 dogs and 2 cats, all while being disabled myself. I have been taking the last few weeks off until we can get him more testing and possibly in to see an epilepsy specialist.

I promise, as soon as things calm down, I will have the last chapter out for you guys. Thank you for being so patient with me. It means alot.

-Bina 💜

#bughead fanfic #bughead fanfiction #five years #ask bina

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samshogwarts · 3 years

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My review of 2020

Or: I say thank you.

First of all, sorry for the long post 😅. You guys know I don'tike long posts without a "read more under the line". But I nade the post with my mobile phone.... Aaaaaaaanyway. Also sorry for all the tags. I hope I don't annoyed someone with it <~<. So let's continue:

I think this year has been a particularly difficult year for everyone. As 2020 is drawing to a close, I mentally let the year pass again.

The bottom line is that I have to say that 2020 was turbulent for me, but not necessarily bad. Much good, but also bad, has happened. And I want to start with the bad things right away.

At the beginning of the year, my depression and eating disorder relapsed. I've always had trouble talking about it because I know my friends can't handle this issue. I felt pressured because they wanted to do things with me, but I couldn't. So I withdrew completely, hiding my emotions and wearing a mask.

At that time I created this blog. At first I didn't want to create my own content, just follow the content of @ladycibia, @hogwartsmystory and @kyril-hphm. Incidentally, that is also the reason why I call these 3 blogs the Big Three. So it's their fault that I'm here. Lol.

And then the first Hyops message came at the end of March. A very good friend of mine got Corvid-19 and lost the battle against the disease a few days later. I still remember how the news pulled the floor from under my feet. It feels like I completely lost faith in everything and I started to realize how dangerous this year could be.

But life goes on and so I visited a friend and her family in early July. It was the anniversary of her husband's death, who was also a very good friend of mine. He died of cancer last year and I couldn't go to his funeral. So I wanted to stop by on the day he died. I actually thought I could do it. But when you read a friend's name on a tombstone for the first time.. Guys, that's a punch in the stomach like no other and I can't really describe how it feels. I had made up my mind not to cry in front of his wife or children because it was hard enough for them. Didn't work.

And of course this year meant to go one better.

Another friend of mine died of the virus in mid-August, leaving behind a wife and a child. Again, I was unable to attend the funeral. And to be honest, it still bothers me way more I want to admit. In two years I lost three wonderful people who meant a lot to me and I couldn't say goodbye to any of them. When I see the three of them again after my death, you can be sure I'll kick their butts for it.

But August was the worst month for me in many ways. In addition to the death of my buddy, my father's family also volunteered. And that means only one thing - trouble. And properly. I haven't had contact with this family for over 12 years for good reason. Now one person from this family has passed away. And first of all, I don't really care if anyone of them would die. I don't even know the person who passed away. But I wasn't told either by my grandmother or my father. So my deadline to cancel the inheritance has expired. Of course it was debts. You have to know that the inheritance rights of my country are very complicated. The reason my father or grandmother didn't tell me about it was because they didn't want to bother with the paperwork. They always had the opportunity to contact me via Facebook or my half-sister. But that would mean work for them. And while I was walking from lawyer to lawyer to court to court, I was allowed to hear sayings from my grandmother that I apparently have achieved nothing in my life. Nice to know that some people never change. I'm still struggling with this matter to this day and will probably not be able to fully clarify this until the beginning of 2021.

At the end of October everything seemed to be taking its revenge and I passed out at a friend's house. Nobody knows exactly what happened until today, but my friend took me to the hospital where I had to stay one night. That was Halloween. And I'm such a big fan of hospitals hahahaha hahahaha. After that I was allowed to wear an ECG for 2 weeks and it turned out that my heart values had deteriorated. Why not. Let's just take everything with us this year!

Rounding out the negatives this year was my (as a teenager) best friend's suicide. I have to say that I haven't had any contact with this person for 9 years. However, it is the one who cut herself in her youth and then called me afterwards because she didn't know what to do. It was also the one I tried to get into therapy for 2 years. But her mother was always against it. And it was exactly this mother who was standing in my mother's shop, telling her about her daughter's suicide and that I was probably in the farewell letter. I don't know exactly what it said, but the mother now blames me for her daughter's suicide. And do you know what's craziest about the whole thing? I agreed with her! I really thought it was my fault because I knew how sick my former friend was. Yet I was the one who ended the friendship (for many reasons that had nothing to do with her depression). And I still wonder what would have happened if I had acted differently.

But enough of the negative things! A lot of nice things happened this year too. Among other things, I have found a new job within my group, earn more money and have pleasant working hours. I've renovated my apartment and I've started saving money on a new one. My two nieces are now going to school and I am a proud aunt. My male best friend and his girlfriend (my best harry potter friend) are pregnant and are expecting their first child soon and my mother's health is better.

But one of the best things that happened to me this year is this blog.

I already mentioned that I actually only created this blog to stalk the Big Three. I didn't want my own content at all. But I discovered more and more blogs and these incredibly great MCs that I thought I wanted to do whole too. And so Samantha O'Connell was born.

I received so much great support and encouragement on this platform. I don't think many people even realize how much that means to me. Especially this year.

I have also found great and lovable people here, some of whom I also call my friends. Even if we come from other countries, speak other languages and may never see each other in real life, you are my friends and I am grateful to know you.

@annabelle-tanaka-official : I'll start with you of course! XD on tumblr you are just my best friend. I don't write as much with anyone as I do with you. You are such an incredibly talented person and so warm hearted! Over the year we have invented so many insiders that soon nobody will know what we mean. Be it the monster hug, or that my cats are your spies or our many RP scenarios, which I really enjoy and which always make me laugh. I thank you for that!! I love you so much and I am so glad that we are friends! *minster hug*

@lunasilvermorny / @lunasilvermore : you are next to you !!! XD the next person I write to almost every day. What started with a little conversation about among us has turned into a friendship. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to streaming with you next year (and this year)!!! You are such a good listener that strengthens me. Your support is so nice of you too! Just the fact that you have subscribed to my YouTube channel xD (because of the language I even have an idea). I'm looking forward to the next year with you! Thank you so much for dealing with my craziness and still likes me!

@kyril-hphm : muahahahaha. You can't escape me !!! Yes, what should I say? One of my big three even made friends with me. One of my Senpais noticed me! And then it's a lovely fluffy marshmallow! I still think it's funny that we have such similar circuits and hearts! Nevertheless you are an incredibly honest, loving and talented person. I've never told you before, but sometimes I stare (for 20 minutes +) at your drawings to improve my style (just not working so far). You are an honest person and I am happy every time we talk, or when you react to my content. I would like to say thank you for that too! You are great and you can trust yourself more.

@carewyncromwell : my Chinese fireball, my Disney princess. Yes, for me you exude the aura of a Disney princess and nothing can change my mind. So! You were one of the first friends I made here on tumblr and one of the first to write with me! I still remember how proud and nervous I was back then! Just when I was in the hospital on Halloween and couldn't sleep that night, you kept texting me and distracting me from my fear. That means a lot to me. You are such a creative and lovable person too. Ah, that's just amazing. Your comments or hashtags always make me grin or laugh. Thank you for all your support and help!

@catohphm : my fluffier Ravenclaw brother!!! Of course you can't be missing either. I also write with you almost every day and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and your support. I just love the energy between Samantha and Cato. And it's always fun to write RP with you! Thank you for being such a lovely and kind person!

@mira-shard : MIRAAAAAAA! It's kind of funny how long we've basically walked next to each other without talking to each other. And now I don't want to miss you anymore! You are such a fun and happy person. Writing with you is just fun! I also love your cosplay photos. Someday I'll come to visit you, and then we'll do cosplay shootings together until the camera bleeds! I would also like to thank you for your support and your kindness.

@sirfluffig : ha. I hope you didn't think you were escaping me! Where should I start with you? Maybe that you were one of the first to give me such lovely feedback on Samantha? Or this super funny stream and that you helped me to stream in English? Or just like that, when we talk about our MCs or pen and paper. It's definitely always fun. I want to thank you for that and I'm looking forward to playing together again soon (get Among us)

@nightrhea-hphm : * run into you in slowmotion * Night! My wonderful supportive Gremlin! I've grown very fond of them over the years. And your support and feedback are just amazing. I also love the friendship between Night and Samantha. I think it's very similar to ours, right? You are also such an incredibly creative and lovable person. You make you feel like it's ok to be who you are. Thank you!

Of course there are many, many more like @rosievixen, @wangxianforever000 , @mollydarling-hphm , @morningstarinwinter , @hogwarts9, @hphm-brooke , @raymondhope-writer , @nikyiscreepy , @immagrosscandy , @mizutoyama , @ariparri-hphm and many many more.

I want to thank you all for your encouragement, support and feedback. You are the reasons why I am adding more and more details to this blog, why I dared to start with the fan comic and many more.

It's still so amazing for me to meet so many talented, creative, kind and funny people.

This year showed me again that life isn't just black or white. Life is Grey. Good things and bad things happen. Sometimes one side more than the other side. But as long we are taking the next step, life wl continues. Just keep in mind, as like you support me, I want to support you. So if you ever wanna talk, no matter what, remember you guys can always contact me.

I'm really looking forward to next year and already have so many plans. I can not wait any longer. Enjoy the last days of the year, stay safe and most important: they the way you are guys!

Love you all so much.

#My end of the year thank you #Personal #Ooc #My year 2020 #God my heart beating so fast #Don't know why but these post makes me nervous #Very personal #Cry counter while writing this: 4 #Yeah so adult xD #Like I care #Hope you all enjoyed the Christmas holidays #Love you all #Such a great community #Never saw this before #💙❤️💚💛

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softbiker · 4 years

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Bucky Barnes Oneshot

Warnings: some language, excessive sun exposure, nudity (but no smut)

Word count: 5.4k (why am i like this)

A/N: This fic is very self-indulgent - it’s short on plot and long on summer vibes. Also, this is a reader insert fic, but I hate writing Y/N and using second person narration, so reader has been given an ‘Avenger alias’. Hope you like it. :) Basically, Bucky deserves this, and we deserve for summer to never end. <3 I hope you all enjoy it, and as always let me know what you think!!

P.S. here’s the playlist inspired by this fic

“Geronimo!”

Sam’s battle cry is the only warning before he takes the plunge; Bucky scrambles from his place on the boat deck, shielding his book with his towel and his hands in a last ditch effort to save the pages from water-logged ruin. He scowls as Sam resurfaces, breaching the water with a laugh and blinking to clear his eyes.

“Hey - watch it, bird brain.” Thankfully, his copy of Ender’s Game remains safe and dry, despite Sam’s carelessness. Wiggling his hips, Bucky scoots further back on his towel, away from the edge of the boat and hopefully out of the splash zone.

“You’re the one complaining about getting wet at the lake, Barnes,” Sam quips back, lazily swimming towards the ladder. “I’m not to blame here.”

“Doesn’t mean I want my book getting wet,” Bucky mutters. A bead of sweat slides down his neck - several beads actually; he can feel how flushed his face is in the dog day heat of a July afternoon. As he lays on his belly, pineapple printed beach towel spread underneath him; his sunglasses slowly slide down the bridge of his nose, his face too slick with sweat to hold them up properly.

“C’mon, guys,” Steve sighs. He couldn’t look less concerned if he tried - long limbs sprawled in the water, his star-spangled ass wedged firmly in a neon blue floatie, a can of beer in one hand. A pink patch of color has bloomed on his chest and spreads across his shoulders with each passing hour, despite regular reapplication of his sunscreen. “Can we not do this all weekend?”

“Mm, I’m with Steve,” a voice pipes up, languid and sleepy, from the sun deck along the top of the boat. “I don’t wanna listen to you two bickering for the next three days.”

Bucky’s mouth goes even dryer and his cheeks burn with a different kind of heat, tongue thick in his mouth at the sound of her voice. Embarrassment creeps up in him - why does he always let Sam’s ribbing get to him, damn it?

“Hey - he started it, Angel,” Sam holds up his hands in surrender, his own towel draped across damp shoulders. There’s a crystal droplet of water on the tip of his nose. “I’m just trying to have a good time.”

She peeks over the ledge from her coveted sunbathing spot, pushing her oversized sunglasses up on her head so she can fix him with a skeptical pout. Bucky rolls a couple inches sideways, leaning on one elbow to lift his gaze up to her. The sun blazes behind her, casting a vivid white corona of heat; the baby blue lurex of her bikini glitters against her skin, her limbs shining with coconut oil and sweat. She’s gathered her hair up on top of her head, but a few adorable baby hairs have escaped at the nape of her neck and her temples, curling sweetly in the humid, hazy air.

She’s only been with the team for a few months - new to the Avengers, and to superhero-ing in general. Operating alone for years, and cleverly flying under the radar, she’d found Tony Stark waiting for her in a refugee camp on the coast of Greece with a disturbingly complete dossier on her, as well as a job offer. Within moments of meeting her, the team dubbed her “Angel” - in slight awe at the way her glowing fingers healed Clint’s broken ones during their brief introductory handshake. From then on, she’s been their undisputed MVP, saving their accident-prone skins so many times they’ve already lost count.

“You know - that smells like bullshit, Sam.” The barest hint of a smirk tugs at her mouth, and even squinting in the sun her eyes are bright.

Sam sputters, playing at mock offense.

“Excuse me?” he says, a hand pressed to his heart.

“Just leave Bucky alone,” Angel rolls her eyes, letting her sunglasses drop back to shield her from the glare off the water. “And Steve? You might want to use a higher SPF, or you’ll need me to heal that later.”

Satisfied, she stretches back on her towel up on the sun deck, one arm long and lazy above her head, the other reaching for her phone - restarting one of her podcasts, Bucky thinks. Tiny wireless headphones tucked in her ears, she’s always listening to them; there’s a true crime one that she loves, but he can’t remember the name. Looking down at his chest, Steve seems to just notice the ripening sunburn on his skin. With a sigh, he flips himself out of the inner tube and into the water, swimming the short distance to the boat and pulling himself up the ladder in search of sunscreen.

Bucky ducks his head back down to his book. He tries to read, focus his eyes on the words in front of him - but, surprisingly, he’s almost too relaxed. He feels heavy, lazy, down to his bones; his eyelids droop and the words on the page run together. It’s not unpleasant, though - the heat has soaked right through his muscles, and for the first time in ages he finds that he’s not sore, not aching. Just a little tired, like a cat in the sun. Stretching and settling on his towel, he tucks his head in the nest of his folded arms and closes his eyes.

When Angel had proposed a lake weekend, inviting the team out to her family’s place in the woods, everyone had leapt at the idea. A few days spent in pure laziness, hours wiled away on the water or with a book, with no one to rescue and no battles to fight - it sounded too good to be true. Pure summer paradise.

Beneath him, the boat rocks dully on small waves. He feels himself lulled into a trance as his body sways gently in the same rhythm, back and forth. Paradise, Bucky thinks as he drifts off.

**********

That night, the sun lingering late in the sky, cicadas humming in the trees, the guys grill out on the deck at the cabin. It smells like heaven, fresh corn and burgers and mushrooms; inside the house, Wanda slices tomatoes and Angel stirs caramelized onions on the stove. At the island, Natasha patiently mashes avocados for her famous guacamole - made famous by the fact that it’s frequently her only contribution to family dinners.

“Wow, Nat, I think you actually got a tan,” Wanda smirks. “Right there, on your arm?”

“That’s just a freckle,” Nat scowls. “Which is why I use high SPF and don’t lay in the sun for hours.”

“Hey, at least you won’t get skin cancer,” Angel laughs, not looking up from her onions. Their smell wafts through the kitchen, mouth-watering and tangy sweet, mixed with the fresh and smoky air from the open window to the deck. Outside, the laughter around the grill bursts in a loud crescendo, Sam slapping Clint’s back as he doubles over in a fit of giggles.

“Sounds like they’re having fun out there.” Nat raises a sarcastic eyebrow as she glances out the window. Angel turns to look, too, her eyes pulled to the soft glow of the porch under the string lights overhead, the setting sun just beginning to burn red and gold through the trees.

Sliding off her barstool, Wanda skips over to the sliding screen door that leads out to the deck, pulling it open just enough to stick her head through.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, nearly shouting to be heard over the boys’ loud hoots of laughter. None of them answer, still caught in the flush of whatever hilarity had set them all going. Rolling her eyes, Wanda tries again. “Hey! Are we at least ready to eat? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, yeah, kid, we’re pulling ‘em off the grill right now,” Clint sighs, wiping his eyes. Even from her place by the stove, Angel notices Bucky’s bright open smile, so rarely seen it makes her do a double take. His color his high, his tanned cheeks flushed an adorable shade of pink; his hair is still wet from the shower, combed back from his forehead in a way that’s almost boyish, the tips just beginning to dry in soft brown curls.

Swallowing thickly, Angel drags her eyes back down to the onions and turns the burner off.

They gather around the long picnic table on the deck, sliding and shuffling around each other, a veritable summer feast laid out in front of them. The boys at the grill didn’t disappoint: Sam proudly slides a platter of corn on the cob next to the kebabs he made, while Clint carries a tray piled high with fresh burgers (and turkey burgers, at Nat’s request). Toppings and sides come single file from the kitchen - fresh sliced tomatoes, crisp lettuce, fried plantains and guacamole. Bucky’s mouth waters with each new dish that arrives at the table, his knees jammed underneath the table next to Steve.

“This spot taken?”

Angel smiles as she slides into the seat across from him; she had washed her face when they got in from the lake, fresh and clean, and pulled an old college t-shirt over her swimsuit. The scent of her coconut lotion drifts across the table. Bucky clears his throat.

“N-no. Go ahead.” He wishes his smiles were half as warm as hers, half as easy and sweet.

Her nose scrunches as she beams a little wider at him and stretches her legs underneath the table, her ankle resting against his calf. The brush of their skin sets Bucky’s nerves on fire, and he keeps expecting her to move, to flinch away. But her leg stays where it is, resting against his, as they laugh and eat with their friends; and every so often when her eyes catch his he wonders if he’s imagining the spark in them.

**********

If it’s possible to get a concussion from tubing, Sam will have one by the end of the day.

Bucky’s head is already swimming and dizzy from being thrown from the inner tube half a dozen times, skipping across the surface of the lake like a stone - he’d always thought Steve was a wild driver on a bike, but in a boat, with two of his friends pulled behind and gripping the handles of a rubber tube? Steve is an absolute maniac.

Inside the boat, Angel leans against Steve’s seat and grips the railing to keep her balance, watching the boys behind them on their wild ride from hell.

“Are you sure you should be going this fast?” she speaks up, a little nervous. “Do you even have a boating license?”

“Don’t need one - I was born before the cutoff date, got grandfathered in,” Steve yells back over the engine and the rush of the waves underneath them. Glancing back and seeing Bucky and Sam still hanging on, he cuts the wheel sharply, the boat arcing through the water in a donut that sends them cutting over their own wake. From the boat, it’s a mild discomfort, the deck bouncing on each wave; from the tube, it’s game over.

She winces as it happens - the two of them go completely airborne on the tube, and with a final scream Sam loses his grip and tumbles sideways, knocking Bucky off into the water with him. Without their weight, the tube sways in the wind for a moment before it drops back to the water, upside down and empty.

“They’re down!” Wanda laughs, and Steve cuts the throttle down, idling slowly back to where the bright blue and green of life jackets bobs in the water a hundred feet away.

As they pull up alongside Sam and Bucky, Wanda drops the ladder and Angel makes her way to the back of the boat, pulling the rope to bring the tube back up to the boat.

“Oof,” Sam huffs as he hauls himself up the ladder, immediately unsnapping the buckles on his lifejacket. “I think I’m done - yeah. Yeah, I’m definitely done.” He shrugs the lifejacket off his shoulders and drops onto a seat at the front of the boat. “Hey, why don’t you get out there and let me drive, Steve?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Steve smiles innocently behind his sunglasses, his hair windblown and spiky. “I think I’m just getting the hang of driving this thing.”

“I think you need a little more practice, punk,” Bucky groans from the ladder. “But not with me back there. I thought Hydra scrambled my brains enough but-” he grabs a towel and scrubs the side of his head, trying to shake the water from his ears. “-you’ve got me mixed up like a fruit salad up here. Jesus.”

There’s always a downbeat, an awkward breath, when he makes jokes about Hydra. Steve winces a little, and Sam purses his lips; Wanda looks away, pushing her hair behind her ears. Bucky feels his cheeks flush, frustrated and embarrassed.

“It’s probably just early-onset Alzheimer’s,” Angel giggles, breaking the silence. “I mean, you’re pushing 102? 103?”

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Bucky narrows his eyes at her.

“I don’t look a day over 30, you know,” he huffs, feigning offense as he hip checks her on his way to the cooler for a beer.

“Ok, boomer,” she sighs. She’s wearing a necklace today, a single cowrie shell nestled at her collarbone, and she’s changed out the blue bikini for a tie-dye one that makes him thinks of cotton candy. With his metal hand, he snaps the cap off his beer and takes a swig, raising a brow towards her in question. Angel shakes her head. “I’m good - but I’ll take a water.”

They pass around the bottles of water, and a couple of snacks; it’s only early afternoon, and they’re loathe to waste any of the beautiful day, all of them sprawled across the boat, sunning themselves liberally. Wanda wonders aloud what they should do, if everyone is done getting roughed up on the tube.

“Well, we could drive around to the waterfall - maybe go cliff jumping,” Angel suggests, wiping watermelon juice from her chin. The huge Tupperware bowl of fruit they brought has gone down swinging between her and Steve, Sam picking through to find the strawberries.

“There’s a waterfall?” Steve sits up, a slice of cantaloupe in his hand. Angel nods, picking a seed from her teeth.

“Yeah, it’s around that way - not too far from here,” she turns and points around a bend in the shoreline, towards the north end of the lake. “We could at least just take a drive over there - the breeze would be nice.”

They all agree on that - it’s a cloudless day, brilliant and sweltering without the slightest wind to stir up the air across the water. Sam swipes his brow, more damp with sweat now than water, and takes a swig of his beer.

“Let’s go, Angel.” He raises his bottle in salute. “Before we all die of heatstroke.”

It’s a small waterfall, just a stream coming down from the hills surrounding the lake, and running faster today because of the last week’s rain; but the cove is lush and blooming with trees overhead, humming with the lazy buzz of insects and busy calls of birds. Angel kills the engine near the entrance and lets Steve drop the anchor - the water here is clean and deep, and the cliff face rises stark and bright out of the water, the rocks stained with age.

“Oh, wow - it’s so pretty,” Wanda smiles, snapping a picture of the waterfall with her phone.

“And quiet,” Bucky observes. He can’t hear the sounds of other boats on the water, the cries of other swimmers on the lake.

“Yeah, nobody ever comes back here,” Angel shrugs. “It’s kind of a secret little place - my family are always the only people here.”

One by one, they peel off their shirts and tug their lifejackets on, diving into the sun-warmed water. Angel leads the way towards the waterfall, showing them all a small break in the rocks with a natural set of steps and handholds she found with her brothers, and they climb up the rocks bit by bit, happily exploring.

“You ever climb all the way up there?” Sam asks, pointing to the top of the waterfall, where an outcropping of the rock juts out over the water.

“Yeah, a couple of times,” she nods, looking up. “We used to jump from the top. I never liked it much - I’m a little scared of heights.”

“Race you Tin Man,” Sam punches Bucky’s arm, and without waiting for confirmation, takes a running head start at the cliff wall, jumping up to the first handhold he sees and working his way up bit by bit. Bucky scowls, but not one to ignore a challenge, he follows close behind, overtaking Sam in a matter of minutes as he scales the wall with just his hands.

Hauling himself up over the edge, he stands above the waterfall, looking out over the lake. It’s still only mid-afternoon, and the glare of the sun on the water is nearly blinding. Far away, tiny boats circle and weave across the surface, their paths leaving figure 8’s in the waves. Below, he hears Wanda and Steve and Angel talking, cheering Sam on as he climbs the last few feet to the top.

“I win,” Bucky smiles as Sam’s huffing and sweaty face appears over the edge of the rock.

“I hate you,” Sam pants, but he takes the hand Bucky offers and scrambles up to stand beside him.

“Hell of a view.”

Sam props an arm on Bucky’s shoulder, an endlessly annoying habit he has, but Bucky refrains from smacking his hand away. They stare out at the water as Sam catches his breath.

“Yeah, it is.”

**********

When they finally make their way back to the boat, the sun has crept along the horizon towards the late afternoon angle, and their arms and legs ache from climbing the cliff walls over and over. Wanda massages her shoulders, slicking her hair into a little wet bun on top of her head. Angel follows behind her, dropping her lifejacket on her seat and wrapping a towel around her shoulders.

Last one up the ladder is Bucky, his arms heavy in the water, eyes stinging, but happily tired from a long day spent doing nothing important. He can’t remember the last time he got to do something like this - just be, just have fun, nothing hanging over his head and no thoughts of tomorrow. He pulls up the ladder after him, folding it onto the deck, and perches on the edge of a seat next to Angel, wondering where his towel has gone.

“Oh - oh, Bucky, you’re hurt,” Angel sits up and leans closer to him. He holds his breath, her face inches from his own - but her eyes are down on his hand.

His flesh hand, which is currently bleeding all over his bright blue swim trunks.

Shit. He hadn’t even noticed - hadn’t felt it at all, but he must have cut it on the climb. The cut runs cleanly through the pink flesh of his palm, welling blood that trickles down his wrist, mingling with the water that still clings to his skin. It triggers something, makes his brain stumble, the bright stain on his thigh - his shorts are probably ruined. He opens his mouth and starts to say something, but the sound sticks in his throat.

Smooth, soft fingers slide over his as Angel grabs his hand. Covering his palm with her own, she frowns down at the wound, as her hand starts to shimmer and glow. He feels the heat of her power soaking into his skin, brighter than the sunlight overhead. It starts to flow down his wrist, and he wants more of it - he wants to bask in it.

Too soon, though, it’s over. The cut wasn’t all that bad, and it only takes a moment to heal. But her hand lingers, palm brushing his, the tips of her fingers tracing his pulse on the delicate underside of his wrist, where the pale pink stain of blood lingers.

“Better?” she asks, looking up at him, long lashes shading her eyes. Tentatively, he allows his own fingers to trace her wrist.

“Yeah. Thank you,” he smiles.

“Any time.”

**********

That night, as the sun sinks down and the fireflies float lazily up from the warm ground, they gather around the fire pit in front of the house. Spread out in canvas lawn chairs, they toast their marshmallows on wire coat hangers, squishing them between graham crackers and chocolate squares. Steve is suspicious of the treat at first, unsure about the pairing and perpetually wary of sweets.

“Just try it,” Wanda rolls her eyes. “It’s the perfect treat, trust us.”

Skeptical, he sinks his perfect American teeth into the crackers, through the gooey marshmallow chocolate layer, the melted treat sticking to his lips as he pulls away. He chews thoughtfully, quietly, wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb as he considers. The rest of the group awaits his verdict, nestled in their chairs with their own s’mores.

“Yeah, okay,” Steve agrees, shoving the rest of the dessert into his mouth. He licks his lips appreciatively. “You’ve got a point there.”

“You know, I think you would’ve had to give up being Captain America if you didn’t like them,” Clint smirks, one cheek stuffed full. “I mean, who doesn’t like s’mores?”

“Yeah, but is that technically an American thing?” Sam wonders, reaching for the package of graham crackers.

“Well I’ve never had them anywhere else,” Wanda counters. She’s nursing her second pineapple ale of the evening - a drink she discovered when they stopped into a grocery store for supplies, and insisted on buying 2 packs to bring to the cabin with them.

Bucky isn’t paying attention to the Great S’mores Debate, not even a little bit. He can hardly hear them talking; he stares across the fire, warm sparks drifting like the fireflies above, as Angel licks chocolate from her fingers. The bright pink tip of her tongue darts out against her fingertips, savoring what’s left of the treat; he finds that his own mouth is parched and dry, a curious kind of hunger growling low in his belly, despite having had his own fill of dinner and s’mores. As she slips her pinky finger into her mouth, her eyes catch his from the other side of the flames, the firelight dancing in her eyes as she holds his gaze. The corner of her mouth twitches up just slightly, and she winks.

She winks.

Then, as the conversation takes another twist towards some kind of dessert or another, she quietly slips from her chair and walks away unnoticed, picking her way down the familiar trail to the dock in the dark.

Bucky glances around the group, and gauging that their conversation should serve as enough of a distraction, mutters some kind of excuse about needing the bathroom before getting up to follow.

Seconds later, Natasha turns to look at them - Angel’s form just visible between the trees and Bucky trailing along behind. She smiles widely over her beer, before settling back into her chair with a sigh.

“Finally,” she huffs, taking a sip. “Took them long enough.”

“Oh my god, right?” Sam raises his hands in exasperation. “I thought I’d hit my 100th birthday before that dickhead made a move-”

**********

She’s sitting at the edge of the dock, past where the boats are moored for the night, one knee tucked up under her chin as her other leg dangles with her toe in the water. She must hear him coming, his footsteps intentional and loud to his own ears on the wooden planks, but she doesn’t turn around. The lake is soft and still, wearing moonlight like a a silk robe, rippling reflected light across the surface. Above them the sky is cloudless and star-filled, cooled to a rich deep blue after the blazing bright day.

“Sometimes I would come down here at night with my dad,” she says, when he stands right behind her, unsure if he’s allowed to sit, if he should ask. She tips her head up over her shoulder. “We’d fish a little - threw them all back, though.”

“You didn’t keep ‘em?” Bucky asks, settling down beside her on the dock, letting his legs hang over the edge.

“No,” she shakes her head, scrunching her nose. “I felt sorry for them. Didn’t wanna hurt them, you know?”

He just watches her, the soft line of her profile in starlight, a smile blooming in his heart.

“Always been an angel, huh.” He doesn’t mean to say it, at least not out loud, but once it’s out he finds himself glad.

She looks at him then, not answering, but searching out his gaze with her eyes - they flit between his own, pupils wide in the dark. He licks his lips, wonders what she’s looking for, what she sees.

“Have you ever been night-swimming?”

Her question comes out of the blue, catching him off guard. He blinks - her mischievous eyes never leave his face.

“Um. I-I don’t remember,” he fumbles. “I think so. Way back, during the war. Not so much for leisure though,” he smiles ruefully. “I just knew I smelled awful and didn’t wanna risk being caught with my pants down, literally, in broad day.”

It startles a laugh out of her, a loud one, and his pride swells, inflating in his chest. The smile stays fixed on his face as he looks back out at the lake.

“Wouldn’t mind sometime, though,” he hints. “It’s beautiful out there at night.”

“Let’s go then,” she grins, using her hands to push herself up to stand above him. He blinks up, dumb at the flash of her smile.

“But, well…” he falters. “I should run back up to the house, I don’t have my trunks-”

“So?” she interrupts with a careless shrug. There’s something in her smile, and he doesn’t quite understand what she means until she reaches for the hem of her t-shirt and-

Oh. Oh.

Easy as that, smooth as a wave, she peels her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side. Her soft cotton bralette comes next, unhooked and slid down her arms, dropped onto the pile with her shirt. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he swears, but he can’t bring himself to lower his gaze. She turns away with a little smile as she shimmies her shorts down, kicking them behind her to join the rest of her clothes, and he thinks he might combust if, oh god, there go her panties-

The cool splash of water as she jumps in jolts him back to himself, wakes him from the trance he fell into at the display of her body, her sweet summer skin, still smelling of coconut and watermelon. Her head bobs up a couple of yards past the dock, treading water.

“You coming or what?” she dares, feeling less bold now, but what the hell - she made her move. The water has cooled since the sun went down, and a little shiver runs through her. Yes, she certainly made a move. She bites her lip and watches him, waiting, hoping.

When he stands, she holds her breath - will he leave? Will he turn her down? Will he still be her friend? Then he reaches a hand behind his back and tugs his shirt up over his head, throwing it down onto the dock next to hers.

He’s every bit as beautiful by moonlight as he is in broad day - she’s always thought so, but kept it to herself, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Now though…she admires him, as she allowed him to admire her; watches closely every long line of his body revealed to her as he undresses, the golden tan he’s earned the last few days on the lake, the course hair covering his chest, the sliding shadows of muscle beneath his skin…

Before he can second guess himself, Bucky dives in and joins her, popping up out of the water just a few feet away and slicking his hair back from his face. She smiles, playfully backing away; he grins right back as he gives chase, following slow but determined.

“See? Fun, right?” Angel giggles, feeling her heart beat a wild rhythm and hoping he can’t hear it. Bucky chuckles back, not answering, swimming just a few inches closer. The outline of her body glows in the moonlight, though he tries not to stare beneath the water.

“You’ve definitely convinced me,” he agrees. They drift out a little further - still not too far from the dock or the shore, but their little game of cat and mouse leads them out several yards. “You bring all the boys out here? Is it gonna be Sam’s turn tomorrow?”

“Hm…I haven’t decided yet,” she muses, pretending to consider it. “I think I’d ask Steve first - unless you think he wouldn’t be game for it.”

“Trust me, I know Steve Rogers,” Bucky laughs. “He’d die of embarrassment.”

“You’re probably right,” Angel grins. “Then maybe it is Sam’s turn.”

“Aw, you’re breaking’ my heart, Angel,” Bucky pouts, giving her the full force of his baby blues, a look he only ever reserved for his mother. Angel doesn’t fall for it; instead, she rolls her eyes and splashes a handful of water right in his face.

“You’ll be fine,” she shrugs, but hides her smile by ducking her head half down, nearly concealed in the water.

“No, I won’t,” he insists. He’s barely a foot away from her now. “I’m wounded, Angel. Really. I’m real hurt - I need your help.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah - I may not survive. You gotta help me.”

“Well, I think that’s in my job description.” Her eyes are full of moonlight, her face inches from his own. “Where are you hurt?”

He grabs her hand and places her palm firmly over his heart.

“Right here, honey,” he whispers, silly grin firmly in place. “You hurt me real bad.”

On cue, her palm starts to glow, the light filtering up through the water in glittering ripples that flicker across their faces. Just over his heart, his skin warms at her touch, a surge of energy and light and life straight into him, deep and true.

“Anywhere else?” she asks, her own voice so soft, barely heard over the cicadas in the trees.

“Yeah…here.” Taking hold of her other hand, he draws her arms up around his shoulders. His smirk twitches. “Must’ve pulled something climbing those cliffs.”

“Uh huh, sure,” she rolls her eyes, but ignites her hands anyway, the healing warmth soaking into his sore muscles and the ever-tender skin surrounding his metal arm. Not one to complain, he never mentions the trouble it causes, constant weight on his shoulders and neck, often giving him tension headaches at the base of skull. But here she is, melting it all away with a touch.

Slowly, cautiously, he lets his hands slide around her waist, thumbs gently brushing her last rib. Beneath his palms he feels her breath stutter and catch, her heart picking up. Their feet accidentally kick one another as they attempt to keep treading water, and she lets him wrap one of her legs around his waist to keep from kicking her.

“Anything else?” she whispers. He traces her face with his eyes, unable to distinguish her own glow from that of the moon beaming down on them. With a slow nod, Bucky rests his forehead against hers, shares a breath.

“Here,” he says, and tilts his head the last couple of inches until his lips meet hers.

In an instant, he feels warm all over; though his eyes are closed, he can see the light behind them like sun through closed blinds. It nearly burns, hot and holy and aching sweet, and his toes curl with it. She breaks away for a moment, just to smile so blindingly, sunbeams breaking beneath her radiant skin - and dives back in, laughing into his mouth as he tightens his hold and her hands go to his hair.

Adrift in a summer-warm lake, under a swollen July moon, they kiss and laugh and touch and play.

Under a moon half as bright, they glow.

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes one shot

128 notes · View notes

magnetarmadda · 3 years

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Hey I saw your tags on that writing post and I just wanted to offer hugs ; 3 ; <3 I'm so sorry you're going through that and I can't imagine how tough dealing with that many losses must be, on top of well... Just the world at large these days. I am always here as a fellow teacher and someone who has also lost close people semi recently (Both my mom and a VERY close family friend and a dad of someone I've known since I was 2 passed in 2018) if you ever need to vent or talk or just a sympathetic ear! <3

Crooooooooow 😭😭😭 thank you, gosh, I’m all emotional now

Yeah, the last year has been a rough one in so many different ways. Oct. 2020 my dad’s mom died out of the blue; Dec. 2020 I had to put my 14 yr old cat to sleep after a battle with intestinal cancer; Feb. 2021 my spouse’s grandma died unexpectedly; June 2021 my dad’s best friend (my uncle by circumstance instead of blood) died of cancer; and July 2021 my mom’s mom died 36 hours after having about a dozen tests come back normal

So I’m a bit of a mess. And I’ve never really dealt with depression before, so I’ve struggled a lot with learning to cope with something very different from the anxiety I’ve had my whole life

And there’s no pause button once a semester starts. You’ve gotta lesson plan and give assignments and run labs and grade everything and have office hours, because students depend on you to do these things. And I’ve run into like a DOZEN different issues trying to get the two courses that start tomorrow ready bc I was assigned to them after other instructors had already set up the online courses. Just like, man I can’t catch a break

And the dissertation! UGH! I’m a month behind my schedule because of *gestures vaguely at all of that above* And I’m fortunate enough to have a committee that understands that life gets in the way and who have all been very supportive and offered their help and resources, but it doesn’t change how unhappy I am about my current lack of progress. I’m so close to finishing my PhD, I just want to be doooooone

I think, re:writing, the most frustrating thing is that I genuinely want to write these stories. Writing is both a coping mechanism and escapism for me, and yet, outside forces continuously conspire to keep me from actually writing them

Huh. This did turn into a bit of a vent instead of just a casual reply. Thanks for lending an ear, Crow, you’re the best 💜💜💜

#tw death #tw cancer #tw depression #stress #teaching #college teaching

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heretic-deb · 3 years

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2021: Year of Death

I don’t normally post things about my personal life on social media. I like to keep it my space for miniatures, Warhammer, creatures I love and general things I think are cool.

This year has been a rollercoaster though, and I just want to get this out of my head so it’s not lingering and festering and creating stress levels that I am not able to deal with.

Cut because omg this is long! And sad.

A lot of things have died around me this year. It started at the end of 2020, when my grandfather died at the ripe old age of 93. He had Prostate Cancer and dementia and he died surrounded by his children. It was very sad but not unexpected.

My old ginger friend Oscar lost his battle to cancer in May 2021. He was 15(ish) and although this was very painful, not unexpected.

A month later, my cousin got her test results from an endoscopy as she was having trouble with IBS. Turns out it was Bowel Cancer, which had already spread to her liver and is completely inoperable. She has between 6-12 months of life left. She found out a week after she was 40. She’s 16 months older than I am so that is a horrific wake up call. I feel sorry for her family as she has two young children.

Last month, my familiar Violet was killed on the road outside the house. I found out when the vet rang - she had been found by a passer by and taken in to be scanned for a microchip. I’ve had her since she was 6 weeks old. She was almost 12. I miss her a great deal. She was a tiny black cat but she was angrier than most.

Two weeks ago, one of our best pals in our gaming group - a friend I have known for 17 years now, dropped the bombshell that his bowel cancer is no longer in remission. It has spread to his lungs. He is now undergoing another set of chemotherapy to get rid of the bowel cancer. If that is a success then they can operate on his lungs, if not then they won’t. It’s a 2-5 year prognosis.

One of my other cats is yet to appear today. Scotty is a dork though so is likely just doing cat things outside.

I just don’t think I can take something else dying on me yet. I’ll face it because I have little choice but seriously, I’d love a break!

#sad #death #overwhelmed #cats #cancer #dead #dying #bowelcancer #age

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vio1315 · 3 years

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Okay, well I’m gonna write a memorial thing for my cat

At the time of writing this, he’s still alive, but I will post it after he’s passed

Basically

My cat has cancer and kidney failure

It came on extremely fast

We just had his bloodwork done to find his gallbladder was infected and all the other bloodwork was fine

Then about a month later we go back because he seems so unwell, and boom. Kidney failure. Anemic. Super super bad.

At this time he’s basically in kitty hospice cuz I really wanted him to have a few good days after like two months of feeling bad. Now... he’s a very good cat

I think he’s the first animal that’s really been mine, and definitely the first I’ve loved to this extent.

He’s only eight years old right now, which is a lot, lot younger than I ever expected him to go.

I named him Poe, though my parents call him Boo, but it doesn’t matter cuz I call him Buddy and Baby so much he responds better to those names

My mom likes to call him Boo-ber and Boo-lardo

He had always been a very fat cat. I always got on my dad’s case for giving too many treats, and pressured my mom into giving him less food each day (it was definitely over the amount a cat should have), but he kept that weight. 21 pounds of it. And he loves, more than anything, to lay on people. Or halfway on people. Even as I write this he’s laying on my arm, purring.

He would sit beside my dad on the couch, follow my parents to their room and lay on them until they went to sleep, and then come cuddle with me in my room until I went to sleep. He would lay on my shoulder and watch me on my tablet, I can’t remember what he did before I got one...

He had a bad habit of waking you up for extra attention if you didn’t kick him out, so that was basically his daily routine for a few years. As he got older he became really good at understanding just to lay at the foot of the bed instead.

We first got him because when we were walking through to look at cats, back and forth, he kept sticking his paw out of his cage and putting it on my dads chest to stop him. He has always been a people kitty.

They told us he was a girl cuz we only wanted a girl cat, but as we were driving home we saw the truth on his paperwork, but decided to keep him anyways.

He was so skinny at that time, and we found out why pretty fast.

He wouldn’t eat his food. They fed him science diet and he /hated/ it. Not one piece.

So finally we gave him Meow Mix which our other cats were eating at the time, and he suddenly showed us he could eat just fine.

He was always stubborn that way. He liked to find places I told him he couldn’t go and go there repeatedly no matter how many times I dragged him away. We had a good bout if battle of wills this way, but eventually he came to be very good about listening, only really getting into trouble if he was mad at me for not opening a door for him or something.

He is such a good cat.

The poor thing can’t jump up onto furniture anymore, so I have to pick him up and put him there. When I set him on my bed, the first thing he did when I got settled was lay on my shoulder and purr super loudly. He hasn’t felt super good all day and yet here he was purring back at his normal volume, and for so long too.

Earlier when I was crying he had his sorta soft expression on. Idk if he knows he’s dying or not, but he really is an absolute baby.

I have lost great grandparents and all my grandparents and many animals and even a childhood cat not too long ago, but this is the one, this is the one that hurts.

He has been there with me through the worst times in my life, been very loving, very loyal. He was my shadow so many days, following me everywhere I went, even though I never gave him treats or any such thing. He became my cat and everyone knew it.

For the first time in a very long time I cried in front of someone. I broke in front of my mom when talking. Every funeral we’ve ever attended together, I always tasked myself with being her rock. Idk why, but even when I was young attending that first funeral with her, I said to myself ‘I won’t cry’ and comforted her as best I could. And I have always held to that. Always.

But man I broke. Only once so far, but I might again when it’s time.

I definitely have in private a lot.

He’s my baby, and my whole heart, and it sucks to know he doesn’t feel very well, to see how his personality is different as he conserves energy . He was the strongest cat we ever had, it took multiple people to hold him down sometimes if he needed something. And now he can’t jump anymore. He lets himself be put in the cat carrier so easily. He looks so tired. He’s never meowed much, but the car ride from the vet was entirely silent. It’s going to come very soon.

But he still eagerly looks up for treats, after a week of starving and starving and enduring me syringe feeding him, he finally ate and can maybe feel a little more okay in that way. He’s 14 pounds now. He lost it all so fast.

I really didn’t want him to go out hungry, to go out without being less alone for a bit. The idea of him dying after the overnight vet stay was too much. I wanted him to have a lot of company, since so much leading up to this he was laying off in a corner because we didn’t know what was going on, didn’t know to pick him up and put him with us. So I just had to have him back home for a few more days, or even just one more if it comes to that. I don’t want him to have to endure much pain or anything, but I don’t want him to feel lonely. So we’ll see how long it is before the pain bears down. I think he’s already uncomfortable. It won’t be long.

There’s been times in my life I wasn’t sure I was capable of love. But I love Poe. Idk if time will take that away from me, but I love him very much, and I’m gonna miss him.

I believe fully in God’s timing, I know everything is in His control. No matter how this hurts, I know it has to be this way. With how unstable things are, maybe this will be the most merciful thing for him, who knows. It’s why I probably won’t get another cat. I am fearful about having my ability to take care of a new animal taken from me, so I can’t risk putting an animal through that. Unless God puts another cat in my life, this is it.

My first and last cat, my most beloved and precious buddy-boy. Who’s been patient and loving beyond what I can expect of an animal, who’s seen me cry many many times in the dead of night .

I love you, Poe

#Vio's Personal #I had just thought the day before the news ca #came*#’his colors match my sona’s wings- I should draw them together sometime or put him in the lore’#’idk how I never thought about that’#Alright just got back from the vet #I cried a lot #I didn’t proof read this btw and I simply can not

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skulledstars · 4 years

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oh heavens, is that ALONZO FIGUEROA from SYCAMORE WAY i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -RESTLESS & -TACITURN. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool ARCHITECT and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +ALLOCENTRIC & +GREGARIOUS. i hope i see them around again!

PINTEREST • PLAYLIST • STATISTICS

hello, y’all ! i’m frankie, am 24 years old and my pronouns are she/her, coming to you live from the cst —— & it’s been nearly seven months since i last rped tbh, so please bear with me. i honestly don’t know what else to say but if you could give this post a like & i’ll come with desserts into your dm’s so that we can plot or something ? if anyone prefers D!$C0RD, feel free to add me: FRANKIE ♡#7928 —— but it’s up to y’all of course... ANYWAYS, MEET ALONZO.

trigger warnings: brief mention of a parental death due to cancer.

» 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ;

full name, alonzo ismael figueroa castillo.

meaning of name, ❛ noble, ready for battle. ❜

pronunciation, uh - lon - zoh.

aliases, lonz, lonny, lonzo, zo.

age, forty-four [ 44 ].

date of birth, december 10th, 1975.

place of birth, santiago, chile.

hometown, mapleview, north carolina.

zodiac sign, sagittarius.

race, hispanic ╱ latinx.

nationality, chilean & american.

gender & pronouns, cis man + he ╱ him.

profession, architect.

current location, mapleview, north carolina.

face claim, josé pedro balmaceda pascal.

» 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒 ;

parents, enrique ismael figueroa & esmeralda lucía castillo.

siblings, n ╱ a — only child.

martial status, divorced, single.

children, elena [ 11 ] & mateo [ 4 ].

pets, one dog & two cats, ( names, breeds, et cetera, tbd. )

» 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 ;

alonzo was born in a south american country: chile. his parents & a 9-month old baby boy moved to the united states — and had grown fond of the small town by the name of 𝒎𝒂𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘 & stayed ever since. mom and dad never had another child; it was the three of them against the world, or that’s what it felt like for the first couple of years. they did everything they could to raise him in a land with better opportunities.

growing up, he was a decent student with passing grades: mostly b’s, c’s and the occasional a’s ( which called for small victories with chilean desserts and a milkshake ). alonzo improved the more he attended tutoring sessions. they expected more from him... obviously. as one parent does. his strongest subject was mathematics. long story short, he tried his best with everything he did.

during his senior year, his parents noticed that since math was his strong suit so they suggested he should get into an architecture degree—this was one of the few times where he actually agreed with his parents. he applied to several universities and one of them was: usc school of architecture. let’s just say he couldn’t let this opportunity pass. so long, mapleview; hello california ! off he went.

several years had passed, alonzo graduated from USC with a bachelor’s degree in architectural design. after that, he spent some of his years away from his hometown, living in california, earning himself an internship with a top tier design studio. he never saw it coming. he’d worked too hard to be where he was and he wanted more; accomplish more than he sought out for.

of course, he’d visit his parents for some time in the holidays or surprising them with a visit— helping them with anything and everything they needed. he felt like he owed it to them.

alonzo met his future ex-wife while she was an intern. they got on very well— started off as friends until they eventually fell in love with each other. it was bliss and married only a year and a half after dating. they decided to move to mapleview after he found out his mom fell ill.

alonzo was a small town boy, then a big city guy... and back to a small town dude a little over a decade ago. however, the circumstances were that of his mother and his responsibility was to care for her, look after her. alonzo was eternally grateful that she supported him. no matter the amount of struggles they had, looking after his mom, it was always rough for him... all of them.

alonzo and pia eventually had a daughter, elena. not only was he a busy man but as soon as he became a father, he made every fiber of his being to be as hands-on & 100% present as possible. sure, there were obstacles along the way, but alonzo sure made the effort. thankfully, his parents and his mother was still alive to welcome their first grandchild into the world— still pushing through. unfortunately, some years later, she had lost her battle with cancer.

alonzo and pia’s marriage started to deteriorate and decided to divorce. they had found out she had fallen pregnant with their second child, a son by name of mateo. before he was born, they decided to stay together. shortly after his birth, they couldn’t stay together just for the kids. they amicably decided to split and co-parent their kids. he and his ex-wife remain friends to this day, four years after their divorce.

you may have spotted the name 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐙𝐎 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐀 in several architectural digest magazines ( including others ), as he is known to be a successful and renowned architect across the globe. has he received awards? damn well he has. over the years, he expanded his design firms with locations across the nation. despite living in a small town, he still works and occasionally travels for work. however, he also works from home and has a work-life balance. it wasn’t easy at first but he’s there and pleased.

» 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ;

design firm partner [ 0 / 2 ] —— description to be added. might be a wc sent to the main. idk.

best friends [ 0 / 4 ] —— pretty self-explanatory. they can be their own grown up squad. age shouldn’t define them; they are often times up to no-good.

short-lived fling [ 0 / 1 ] —— description tba. can be plotted out.

will they, won't they [ 0 / 1 ] —— description tba. can be plotted out.

ride or die ??

polar opposite friends ??

cousin(s) ??? y’all, idk.

ANYTHING & EVERYTHING. COME TALK TO ME. i don’t bite :) pinky promise.

#mapleviewintro #death tw #cancer tw #parental death tw #¿¿ somehow this turned out to be longer than i intended ... ??#......... ALSO i may have sprained my finger because it’s swollen #.... hence the intro being delayed ....#*frankie’s slowly typing*

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skippyv20 · 2 years

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Our Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s aging parents. We pray for our friend to connect with them soon.