#muse: connections

[soflor]

–SOFIA FLORES

FULL NAME: sofia pilar flores NICKNAMES: sof, lady  AGE: 32 GENDER IDENTIFICATION:  female PRONOUNS: she / her SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single OCCUPATION: performer at lady luck POSITIVE TRAITS: charming, resilient, loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: impatient, impulsive, mischievous PLACE OF BIRTH: oxbow ridge, mt

TL;DR: Sofia Pilar Flores grew up in Oxbow Ridge, raised by her single mother, who shielded her from the truth about her corrupt businessman father in Brazil. Despite being enrolled in pageants from a young age, Sofia rebelled against being treated as a mere doll and yearned for authenticity beyond the glitz. At eighteen, she stepped away from the pageant world but stayed in Oxbow Ridge to care for her ailing mother, working various jobs to make ends meet. A chance at The Byrne's Lady Luck offered Sofia a way to pursue her dreams while staying in town. With her mother's recent passing, Sofia faces a crossroads, torn between embracing her music career and fulfilling her mother's unfinished dreams.

AESTHETIC:

sold out shows, acoustic guitars, vinyl records, half written lyrics, dogeared pages, leather jackets, sneaking out, whiskey - neat, empty beer bottles, doc martens, sarcasm, ripped jeans, filled notebooks, unsent letters, crowns and sashes, long days, inspired, 3am writing, ink stained hands, black on black, maps, messy buns, day trips, adventure, half finished mugs of coffee, dirty hands, reading, black and white keys, loud laughter, unpublished novels, messy sheets, unmade bed, fresh tattoos, unsent postcards, perfect smile, never taking no for an answer, confidence that could kill, blasting music late at night

BIOGRAPHY:

Sofia Pilar Flores grew up in Oxbow Ridge, Montana, raised by her single mother. Her father, a corrupt businessman in Brazil, remained unknown to her, his shadow cast over their lives. Her mother fled Brazil with the family's money to start anew in Montana, shielding Sofia from the truth of her lineage. Despite the absence of a father figure, Sofia found solace in her mother's love, their bond a source of strength in the face of unanswered questions and lingering shadows from their past. Sofia's mother, determined to immerse their family in the culture of Montana, enrolled Sofia in pageant shows from a tender age, hoping to foster a sense of belonging and accomplishment. Sofia discovered her passion under the spotlight, her voice ringing like an angel's amidst the fervor of the stage. However, beneath the facade of glitz and glamour, Sofia chafed against the confines of being treated as a mere doll, rebelling against the superficiality that surrounded her. The trophies that adorned their living room, symbols of success and recognition, held little significance for Sofia, as they failed to capture the essence of her true identity beyond the pageant circuit. At eighteen, Sofia reached a pivotal moment in her life when she made the decision to step away from the pageant world that had defined her upbringing. However, despite distancing herself from the glitz and glamour, Sofia remained drawn to the allure of the spotlight. Just as she contemplated leaving Oxbow Ridge behind for the bustling streets of Los Angeles, news of her mother's illness halted her plans. Sofia chose to stay by her mother's side, putting her own dreams on hold. As she watched the love of her life and friends pursue their aspirations, Sofia couldn't shake the feeling of stagnation that enveloped her own ambitions, a poignant reminder of the sacrifices made in the name of family. Day after day, Sofia devoted herself to caring for her ailing mother, their bond growing stronger with each passing moment. To make ends meet, Sofia tirelessly worked any job she could find, whether it was performing at a local bar, waitressing, or tending bar. Her determination to provide for her family knew no bounds, and she embraced every opportunity to earn a little extra money. Then, at the age of twenty seven, a ray of hope emerged in the form of The Byrne, offering Sofia a chance to escape the monotony of her everyday life without leaving Oxboro. Playing at Lady Luck, Sofia found herself living out her dreams while still being there for the person who mattered most to her, a delicate balance between pursuing her aspirations and honoring her unwavering commitment to family. Even though, it did feel as a betrayal to one specific person.  With her mother's recent passing, Sofia finds herself at a crossroads, her heart heavy with grief and uncertainty. Suddenly, the future stretched before her like an open road, beckoning her to forge a path of her own choosing. While she could leave Oxbow Ridge behind and start anew, the town held a piece of her identity, a place where she had built a name for herself. Despite her success at Lady Luck, Sofia felt torn between her passion for music and the unfinished dreams her mother had left behind. Part of her yearned to abandon music altogether as she’ll only be as big as Oxbow Ridge. While, another part of her wants delve into the pages of the book her mother had encouraged her to finish.

HEADCANNONS:

Is pansexual and has been in one serious relationship that lasted almost a decade. currently prefers individuals who are looking for a good time, not a long time. is emotionally unavailable.

Is bilingual and fluent in both English and Portuguese, thanks to her Brazilian heritage.

Was known as the "rebel with a cause" in high school, often challenging authority and questioning rules that she felt were unjust or unnecessary.

Has a passion for cooking and enjoys experimenting with different cuisines, incorporating flavors from both Montana and Brazil into her dishes.

An avid reader who finds escape and inspiration in the pages of books, especially fantasy and adventure novels.

To pass the time with her mother in and out of doctor appointments and everything that came with her illness, Sofia turned to writing as a means of escape. Immersed in her words, she carved out a sanctuary of peace, finding solace and respite amidst the chaos.

While she may have initially entered the world of corruption out of necessity, she has since discovered a sense of empowerment and agency in her ability to outsmart and outmaneuver those who seek to exploit the system for their own gain.

FAMILY:

MOTHER: Isabela Flores - deceased FATHER: Mateo da Silva - incarcerated 

NOTABLE CONNECTIONS:

BETHANY WALKER - ex-girlfriend - Inseparable childhood best friends, discovered the depths of love at the tender age of 15, their bond growing stronger with each passing year. For years, their hearts beat as one until the harsh realities of life forced them apart at 21, scattering their dreams like autumn leaves in the wind. Despite the distance, they clung to fragments of their love, sharing fleeting moments during Bethany's return home for holidays and events, until a heated dispute at 28 fractured their once unbreakable bond. Yet, amidst the shards of their shattered friendship, the ember of love still flickers, a testament to the enduring power of their first loves. MAEVE BYRNE MAYOR

TIME LINE:

age 0 - born november 14th

age 5 - met bethany walker in kindergarten, enrolled in first little miss pageant

age 6 - takes etiquette classes, little miss pageant: runner up

age 7 - takes social graces classes, little miss pageant : won

age 8 - takes vocal lessons and guitar lessons, junior miss pageant

age 9 - takes piano lessons, junior miss pageant: won

age 10 - takes public speaking classes, junior miss pageant

age 11 - takes a writing class, starts middle school, junior miss pageant

age 12 - becomes a cheerleader, junior miss pageant: won

age 13 - teen miss pageant

age 14 - starts high school, teen miss pageant: won

age 15 - teen miss pageant: won, starts officially dating bethany walker, lead in school musical

age 16 - miss montana teen USA, debutante ball

age 17 - miss montana teen usa: won, miss teen usa, lead in school musical

age 18 - miss montana usa, quits pageants, mom gets sick, graduates, bethany leaves for LA , starts working at dinne & dash

age 19 - joins a book club

age 20 - wrote first novel: unpublished

age 21 - relationship with bethany officially ends, starts working at last call

age 23 - wrote second novel: unpublished

age 26 - finds out father is incarcerated

age 28 - starts performing at lady luck, loses friendship with bethany

age 29 - wrote third novel: unpublished

age 31 - mother passes away

age 32 - bethany comes home

#muse: timeline #muse: about #muse: headcannon #muse: connections

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

dazai making up a whole language with fyodor that no one else can understand is amazing but imagine him using codes that, very objectively speaking, you could crack, it's just that no normal person would ever make the insane leaps in logic that it requires. except for someone familiar with dazai's weird thinking patterns, that is.

i just love the idea of dazai's unhinged antics being dialed up to an eleven when he was in the port mafia, and oda being the only one who simply wouldn't bat an eye at it but chuuya was the only one who would actually get it.

like imagine ango at the end of the jailbreak, his boss saying he should allow himself to sigh and lean back and maybe indulge himself, pat him on the shoulder, tell him what he pulled off reading heart rates wasn't easy and he should be proud for being able to keep up with such a plan

but ango i-drank-with-teenage-dazai-and-also-had-the-records-for-every-soukoku-mission sakaguchi can only remember the time dazai was like using greek sign language through his breathing patterns to communicate from a submarine from beneath the pacific ocean or something, and chuuya could not fathom how no one else could understand him.

and that was the day mori signed off on skk being exclusive partners because every subordinate in the room was crying tears of blood by the time chuuya finished explaining which blood pressure level was warning them about a bomb, which blinking sequence was him conveying the vault password and which series of inhales was just him calling mori a bitch.

(ango also pointedly did not want to think about how smug dazai had looked after the mission when mori confirmed skk would only be each others' partners for efficiency and to maintain everyone else's sanity

or about how when he called chuuya to tell him about dazai's prison break scheme he could only get like 3 out of 276 steps into the plan before chuuya rolled his eyes, said "got it" then hung up and pulled the whole thing off without a hitch.)

#listen soukoku having telepathy that they insist isn't telepathy it's just using common sense #while everyone else sobs in the corner #is a flavour of pm era skk I adore #like yes technically chuuya can in fact explain the play-by-play #process of understanding dazai's codes #it's just that no one else is going to immediately make the same far fetched connections #UGH the latest chapter of chuuya watching dazai flop and roll around on the ground like a fish while he brainstorms #not an ounce of curprise or confusion #like he's seen this a thousand times before #and even spotting his worries and dazai actually openly musing about his ideas and expressing emotions so vividly #they KNOW each other your honor #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #the sigma show #bsd #my post

[beccawise7]

He watched the way she pleasured herself. The heat casting shades of red across her cheeks.

Need laced within her whimpers and desire in her eyes.

Watching her was watching a masterpiece come to life.

He ached to touch her with his fingertips.

Consume her from the inside out.

Discipline be damned, he could never look away.

~beccawise7💜🖤

#my musings #my writings #my words #my poetry #connection #lovers #couples #relationship #play me #play time #intimacy #soul connection #d/s relationship #desire #d/s #my thoughts #d/s community #make me masturbate #touch #feel me #tuesdayvibes

[hidefdoritos]

GUYS GUESS WHAT

I took my friend (who doesn't get out much and needs to have a quiet retreat space) to the library today.

I FORGOT HOW RAD THE LIBRARY IS.

-My library has private rooms with locking doors that you check out with your library card and then have keycard access to.

-These rooms are made of plexiglass for Obvious Reasons, but still. Rooms.

-I checked out a Lounge space and, guys, it's a balcony.

-It's over the main entrance to the library so you can see everyone coming in and out. The door locks so it's private, but it's also open air to the tall ceilings and has SO MUCH natural light.

-literally so much natural light the one exterior wall is floor-to-ceiling windows with a view over a fountain and a courtyard and the local shopping district. the sunset was rad.

-My laptop connected directly to the WiFi.

-There were so many people there! There are chairs spread throughout and a bunch of computers and people just chilled and hung out!

-My friend was thrilled to be able to navigate a quiet space with strangers who didn't speak to her, and then to have a retreat space.

-My library also has a Makerspace (!!!) and a Cricut machine (!!!) and I can email someone and get trained in how to use it!

-Someone was in the recording booth and I couldn't tell what she was reading but it sounded cool.

-There's a whole room along the side of the upstairs that's just for teens. Like literally just. The sign says that if you're not a teenager you should see the staff for other rooms. There wasn't anyone there when I stuck my head in but there's a giant whiteboard and orb-style chairs and

-sorry I forgot to mention that my balcony has not only a couch but also several big comfy chairs (like, I can sit on my chair and put my feet on it too and balance my book on my knees and it's STILL not too small of a chair) and a couple coffee tables and a corner where the sunlight isn't direct y'all it's so nice

-I'm so glad my tax dollars went to this, guys. We're stuck on campus for Thanksgiving break and we desperately needed to go somewhere that didn't cost money.

-for as much as I get on about the necessity of Third Spaces, you think I'd remember this.

-I also found out my friend likes Agatha Christie novels. She read me a section while I washed dishes tonight, and I think I'm gonna like them too.

#moss's musings #library #public library #go to the library #third space #solarpunk #kinda literally lol the amount of Vitamin D I got almost made up for the fact that it was dark at 5 pm #also they have a Craft and Chat on Monday nights and I've never been sadder to work on Monday nights. #the connections I could make!

[melit0n]

Nobody talk to me

📸: metalmusemedia on insta

#GOOD EVENING HELLO?? #UGH literally one of the Greek muses what #distinct urge to write obscure poetry about them #this is for all the Espera enjoyers #connecting my synapses and neurons to you guys to tell you to come look 🗣️ #mel's rambles #sleep token #st #esperas #vesselettes #photography

[imunbreakabledude]

funniest thing about Gen v to me is how they’ve set it after season 3 of the boys but they’re also kinda pretending that stuff doesn’t exist except for an occasional background joke. Because you got Marie and the other kids being like “we wanna be in the seven!!! It sounds great!” When… according to the way the boys s3 ended, here’s what these kids and the rest of the general public would know about the seven:

Three members have died while actively serving within the past 3 years (translucent, supersonic, Queen maeve), and another 2 have died after retirement/removal (Stormfront & Lamplighter, assuming his death was recorded and explained away probably as natural causes or something). The last two of those deaths were within like a month of each other.

Another member has quit (Annie) and is openly speaking out about corruption and violence within the group and Vought at large, she has officially laid out accusations of 1) Deep raping her on her first day, 2) Homelander lying about the (lack of) danger presented by soldier boy, 3) Homelander taking Maeve captive shortly before her death. These accusations (at minimum, she has possibly said even more not documented on the show) while perhaps not proven, received extensive media coverage.

As for the suspicious amounts of deaths, Translucent died on a mission, ok seems normal, Supersonic died of an overdose, okay sure that can happen to some people but not to everyone, and Maeve died while valiantly fighting the last generation’s American hero who was actually super evil and radicalized by Russia but Homelander told us all not to worry about him at all?? Hmm this pattern is maybe a little weird now especially considering the group had zero deaths for its first decade-plus of existence

Like a year ago they let a literal nazi into the group and then kinda just said “oopsies” and made a movie about it starring Charlize Theron as the Nazi

One of the remaining active members was accused of sexually assaulting another member of the group and then was in a cult for a little while and now claims he’s changed

Also Homelander recently murdered a guy in broad daylight with hundreds of witnesses so that’s horrifying on its own and maybe adds some weight to Annie January’s accusations

You’re telling me Marie wants to join THAT GROUP? right NOW??

#I’m really questioning her judgment bc… #that’s not a good place to be girl!!! #and it made sense when the s1 arc of the boys was Annie thinking the seven are good #and then learning they’re not #but within the universe there have been MANY MAJOR LEAKS of how bad things are now #even if you assume voughts running a full smear campaign on Annie #it’d take a fair amount of mental gymnastics for a young black woman to wanna be anywhere near that group I should think… #I almost feel like this should’ve been set between seasons 2-3 #gen v #this is a shitpost btw not actually shitting on the show #not a CRITICISM but musing on the consequences of making a spinoff #and connect its timeline so decisively to the main show

[heaveniowa]

love from the other side / i am my own muse

#whats the connection between these two lyrics idk but it stuck in my brain for DAYS #fob lyrics #so much for stardust #smfs #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #love from the other side #i am my own muse #fall out boy #fall out boy edit #fall out boy lyrics #patrick stump #sye did something

[berryblooo]

We’re about to get the 1.2 update and finally learn some more about the tumultuous past between Dan Heng, Blade, Jing Yuan, and Jingliu but god if I’m not more than a little happy for the first three that they’ve found a new community and family after their previous one was lost.

Dan Heng has the Express crew.

My hope for him in the story is that he has a moment where he realizes how much they’ve come to mean to him. He’s been so focused on running from his past that maybe he forgets to cherish the present.

Jing Yuan is the general for the Luofu. The whole ship looks to him for leadership.

He’s no longer that little boy looking to his master for guidance. He has Yanqing, Fu Xuan, Yukong, Tingyun—the whole Luofu.

Blade has the Stellaron Hunters.

It can be seen as purely transactional. Blade is a useful weapon and they’ll give him what he desires: death. But the little details the story sprinkles in—Kafka calling him Bladie, him accompanying Silver Wolf to arcades—shows that there’s fondness too.

I highlighted these three specifically because I don’t know if or think that Jingliu has found something else since the quintet.

Her appearance in Yanqing’s quest leads me to believe otherwise. She and Blade are very similar—struck with Mara and having certain ways to control it, yet all the more disconnected from reality and dangerous for it.

But the crucial difference is Blade has people he can rely on. It’s clear the Stellaron Hunters take care of each other in their own unorthodox way, even if it’s just following Elio’s script.

Jingliu doesn’t.

TL;DR found family matters. Those four were once family and their most important connections, then it fell apart.

Three of them have managed to find other people in their grief and it makes all the difference.

#honkai star rail #hsr #blade honkai #dan heng #jing yuan #jingliu #bloo writes musings #this silly little chibi art got to me #i really want blade to find peace #i hope he's finding some semblance of his past humanity through this connection with the stellaron hunters #elio promised him death but i hope when the time comes blade realizes he doesn't want or need it anymore #right now vengeance is the reason he's given himself for his forced immortality #i'd like to think he can find new meaning and reason beyond the past

[llewellyn-baxter]

"Huh.."

Llewellyn's hand braced on a tree trunk and he stood with his head bowed for several moments, trying to shake off the strange sense of fogginess and light-headedness. And his stomach churned... It was the type of sensation that occurred with a sudden unexpected drop. A mist eased throughout the surrounding area and there was a certain smell that couldn't be placed- earthy, for sure, but also weirdly enough, something more pungent. Why did his limbs all feel so heavy and achy? Why was he so tired? The man couldn't really recall what he'd been doing moments before, or where he was even at...

And he certainly had no clue that a faerie portal had just shaved ten years off his life. Ten years taken away with family and friends.

At some point, the tall gentleman began to walk. He wasn't sure how long or what direction, but somehow, Llew managed to wander within the town limits. "Welcome to Greywood.." he murmured to himself with a faintly bemused expression across features newly aged a decade. There was something familiar about this place, too, but that brain fog persisted. He couldn't shake that something was off and yet, there didn't seem to be anything out of place, either. It all looked normal enough. "Excuse me," Llewellyn politely reached for a passerby to stop them, "do you have any water?" He offered an apologetic and uncertain smile. "I'm sorry, I just- I could really use some water.." Boy, could he! Felt like he hadn't had anything to drink in days.

#greywoodstarter #tw amnesia #tw memory loss #feel free to assume connections #he's been a missing person for the last 10 yrs #you can also reach out for any questions or plots?? #just wanted to get this out while i had the time & muse #ok bye ty

[scienter]

There's a fifth Secret Project. Brandon wrote another book.

#oh brandon. of course you wrote another book! 😂 #it's a comsere story set in a future era with high cosmere connectivity. #can't wait! #brandon sanderson #cosmere #random musings #books

[matthiasxaless]

open. @exitiumstarters

Matthias was in a shockingly good mood. Well, who wouldn't be after liberating the world of more evil. If he was capable of it, he would probably have even felt joy in some way. Instead he just sat there, smirking on a park bench. His body was still sore, but it felt good, and he looked over at the person to his right offering some nuts he was munching on in silence. "Good day huh? Sunny, light..."

#exitium.starter #// have this yall while i plot some crazy stuff <33 #// if your muse is a hunter with deep hatred for the spn then assume a friendly connection i will love u down

[ride-a-dromedary]

Wyll taking Halsin to the Wilden Oak after observing how much he was struggling to adapt to the City, thinking it would cheer him up *and* be special enough that maybe he can work up the nerve to ask him something important. Telling him about how he used to daydream about the stories it could tell him, and how it brought him comfort - how it may bring him comfort as well. And maybe he thinks he's talking too much, too fast, but it all pours out of him with heart-aching sincerity.

Halsin listening thoughtfully to Wyll's fanciful dreams of dragons and the Weave, and chuckling fondly at how eager he is; how whimsical he makes everything sound. Bubbling over with how happy it makes him to hear Wyll so beautifully matching the splendor of this tree with such fanciful tales, admiring it for what it is.

Wyll's face heating up, thinking he must be laughing at his stories, and ah, hells, he's gone and fumbled this, of course an Archdruid would think fairytales of trees to be foolish and childish. Mumbling it must sound silly to him.

Halsin frowning then, brought out of his affectionate thoughts. "Oh, no, not at all. I think it's wonderful. Here, let me show you something."

Halsin bringing Wyll's hand up to the bark of the tree and pressing it beneath his own to the ridges and grooves, encouraging him to listen closely again as he had as a boy. Telling him that trees speak to those who care to hear them, even if they cannot understand them. Wyll closing his eyes, flustered at how close they are, but - after a moment of quiet - hearing the barest tendrils of something touching the edges of his mind. Nothing he is able to understand, but he swears he feels it; more than he ever has before.

Halsin himself listening and catching the discernable memories the oak is able to give him amidst the transfer - the tiniest glimpses of generations and magic long past. Perhaps even a dragon cutting its lightning path through the sky, eons ago. He passes anything translatable gently off to Wyll, who listens, enraptured.

The Wilden reveals other things - other terrible things. Other sad things and tragic things, no where near the fairytales that Wyll spins. Halsin does not pass these memories on, but judging by the frown on Wyll's face, he senses it.

But there is something else - something closer to the heart - it calls Wyll "tree friend" - flashes of Wyll as a young boy, collecting its leaves from the ground. Of an older Wyll curled in on himself in the tangle of its roots, heartbroken; an even older Wyll turning his face to the dappled sun and smiling, little golden bands sparkling in his hair.

Halsin taking Wyll by the hand and bringing him deeper into the forest, scouting a good spot to plant the tiny wishing acorn Wyll had pressed bashfully into his palm with stories of his mother. Burying the seed deep into the ground so its roots may grow anew, just as glorious as its parent - waiting to bring joy to another a century down the line. Just as their lives have taken root within one another, tangled and new, but full of life.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin #Wyll Ravengard #wyllsin #the more i think about it the more i can connect these romance paths thematically near perfectly - i can blend them #and it doesn't lead into halsin's romance scene - not yet - but damn it sure does kickstart it #(i'm connecting the dots - you're not connecting shi- I'M CONNECTING THEM) #i don't think they get married because that's not really something elves do on the regular if at all - especially wood elves #which may be a disappointment to wyll at first because he has all these fanciful notions of relationships and fairytales - but also? #i believe they'd stay together for the rest of wyll's life - like i genuinely bonafide can see that #and wyll would thrive because he would be *free* for the first time in forever - he'd blossom and live and have someone to come back to #who would love and cherish him as much as if they'd never parted for a single moment #no pacts no contracts just someone who loves him and somewhere safe to be - and when he's ready he has all the children he wants #also: wyll 'canonically chases after mermaids' ravengard + halsin 'i could attempt a kelpie' silverbough js

[liquidstar]

i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

#under the cut its just a way longer version of what i just said but in regards to how closeted trans ppl are often treated online #i cut it bc it was long but im telling you what it is now if you wanna read it basically #but a lot of this is personal musings too. its not connected to any kinda disk horse or anything #just stuff ive been thinking abt mostly. how i wish there was more support for such things #bc even online i feel like most ppl overlook closeted ppl who are not kids. yknow? #as if thats the only acceptable time to be closeted bc you have an excuse. tho part of it might be remembering personal experiences too ofc #but well. like i say here everyones experiences are different and we gotta respect that basically #and i think. its ok if you dont look or act a certain way. i guess

[beccawise7]

He wrote poems inside me with his fingers, and now there's no words left to say. ~beccawise7 💜🖤

#my thoughts #my writings #my musings #desire #connection #intimacy #soulful #soul connection #lovers #d/s #touch #play me #d/s community #trust #relationship

[vidoeslot]

the amount of objectum posts that breach containment nowadays really have me like 🤨🤨🤨🤨 maybe you all need to address some feelings you are unaware of

#IT'S NOT EVEN JUST HAVE SEX WITH THE COMPOTER SHITPOSTS ANYMORE EITHER #it is incredibly detailed romantic musings about the connection between objects ot electronics and humans #that and the one old radio tower post .. i think about that onr a lot #.txt #objectum #osor #objectophilia

[pinkrose05]

Am I the only one who doesn't vibe with the Gaiathra Triclops = Ena the Order theory?

#like don't get me wrong i love connecting the dots as much as the next guy (possibly even more so with all the weird tie-ins i make lol) #but what's the point of the theory? that aventurine's luck is some kind of manifestation of the order? #i just don't get what it adds to his character #it actually seems to detract from it in a way #like #continuing to believe in gaiathra- even if she is not an aeon- seems like a point of empowerment to him #in that he still prays to the avgins' deity in spite of working under the preservation and walking their path #having her turn out to be an aeon herself kinda makes the aforementioned point about the preservation feel like a rejection of the order #which just. doesn't add up with what we see in the 2.1 story yknow #it feels like a disservice to aven and his character imho #in much the same way as the disattva yingxing theory #but that's another story for another day #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr aventurine #gaiathra triclops #ena the order #pink's musings