#mostly because of a huge availability of information

[bleedingbloody]

WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO BRING BACK COVENS

PLEASE

#witch #witchblr #witchcraft #spiritualist #wicca #look ok #individual practice has been huge #mostly because of a huge availability of information #and how back in the day to be a witch you kinda had to be in a coven #but like #imagine? #having a close group of friends and people #you practice with? #doing rituals #with homies?? #similar beliefs? #goals honestly #god i wish it was me

[red-riding-wood]

PSA - Community Predator

Over a series of months, myself and other Tumblr users -- fic writers, gif makers, fans of created content -- have been victimised by @mrkdvidal1989, who has extensively lied about who he is, preyed on multiple women and denied involvement -- therefore ruining friendships, reputations and feelings, and promised me life-saving medical treatment that he never followed through on.

More information including mine and their stories under the cut.

The reason I am going public with this is twofold:

A) To protect others from being hurt. He is known to reach out to many tumblr users, especially young women in the Cillian Murphy fandom -- but he may have a wider reach beyond this circle. B) Since his "disappearance" three weeks ago and the unravelling of his lies, this man has ruined my life and the only hope I had of obtaining treatment for a condition that has been plaguing me for four years.

Killian Vidal is the name he has chosen to give us, and has claimed to be both a officer commander and general in the mobility troop in the SAS (the general rank does not even exist), has beaten cancer a while ago (but said to another mutual that his "time was running out" and he is currently struggling with it), and a plethora of other life experiences and general knowledge about him that varies in consistency when talking to different people and is questionable in its validity. He has also shared pictures of "himself" that when reverse image searched, belong to different people.

I got to know Kill when he reblogged one of my fanfics (as the story seems to start with a lot of his victims) and he reached out via DMs. We quickly became close friends who called nearly every day on Discord and when I told him about my health issues, he immediately offered to pay for my medical treatment wherever I could find willing doctors.

I was hesitant to believe this at first since all of this seemed too good to be true (and was). He claimed to be very wealthy, enough to afford private jets like it was nothing and to rent me an apartment in the UK in the same building as him. Over time, I grew to trust him because he felt like such a genuine person and friend, which was made all the more believable by the fact that he has such a huge following on Tumblr and was, at the time, part of a vast social network of fans and friends (one of which he even claimed to know IRL -- who will remain anonymous unless they decide to speak out). I decided to ignore the little red flags because I was so desperate to receive this treatment that for me would be life-saving.

For four years, I have been plagued by an array of (mostly) undiagnosed digestive issues that have made my life almost unbearable and have on numerous occasions nearly killed me due to malnutrition. I've spent months in hospital, endured years of malpractice and misdiagnoses, undergone heart surgery, and have tried absolutely everything I can to get better. In the winter of 2023, I was told by my doctor that I was refused in the TPN program (a treatment that may have slowed or stopped my weight loss) and that with or without it, I was looking at mortality. Refusing to stop fighting but having exhausted the public health care system in Canada, I went into 2024 not really having much hope of anything anymore.

So, when Kill came along, that changed. He promised -- and I mean, from the bottom of his heart, promised -- that he would help me get treatment, that he would get me out of my abusive home and fly me to the UK, that he would be there for me as my friend, etc. I was beyond grateful, and as my trust with him built, so did my hope.

The travel plans kept getting put off; originally, he would fly me out as soon as the apartment became available, which was the 11th of Feb, 2024. He kept finding excuses to not book the jet. Finally, it seemed as if around the 15th/16th I would be flying. My health had been declining rapidly and the situation was becoming all the more urgent, and he said he was in contact with a pilot and would send the ticket soon and call me.

That was the last I heard from him. The 16th.

Initially thinking he had ended his life (he had discussed thoughts of suicide with me prior to this), I was beside myself with worry not only thinking one of my closest friends was gone but also that my chance at life was. I reached out to his other friends, and I made several calls to the UK authorities and emergency services and ended up requesting a welfare check be made to see if he was even alive.

They reported that no one under the name Killian Vidal was in the records of the building name he gave me -- the same building that I was meant to live in within that week.

After reaching out to my now beloved friend @kittenonpluto (A.K.A., Cas) on Tumblr, I learned that Kill was in fact alive, and had told her that he was in hospital for digestive issues in Indianopolis, United States (though again, no record of his name in their medical system). He still wouldn't talk to me, but told her to tell me that he would reach out when he was out of hospital.

Cas and I compared information he'd told us (her story will be attached to this post) and looked into the mystery more. He constantly dodged confrontation and questions about the fake photos and information he'd sent her, and seemed to use his completely fabricated hospitalisation as an excuse to not fulfil his promises to myself and her, as well as a means to garner sympathy.

It was quite obvious that he didn't know how the American medical system worked, and he even incorporated elements of my actual story and used them in his. When asked about his treatments, he responded with medically false information. He reported digestive issues, reflux, and having both an NG tube and TPN -- both of which I have experience with -- and let me say, I am beyond disgusted and infuriated that my real life trauma was used as a ploy in all this.

How do we know for a fact this is false? I checked the police case for his welfare check again, and they said that they confirmed him being in the UK at the same time he had told Cas he was in hospital in the States.

After a final confrontation from both Cas and myself (and a desperate final plea for the medical aid he promised me), he was never heard from again from either of us or our friend circles.

I'm now having to pick up the pieces he's left me in and to be honest, I have little to no idea of what the hell to do or how to save myself. The fact that he strung me along for a month and built up my hope that I was going to live only to abandon me without even a word is deplorable to me.

And mine isn't the only story. I've heard from four women on Tumblr (who, again, will remain anonymous unless they choose to speak out) who he has been romantic or sexually involved with (and lied about his involvement, made them out to seem insane or toxic, created rifts in our friendships, toyed with their emotions, and made false promises to of relationships, marriage, and finances).

And that's not including the ex-wife who came back to Tumblr to claim that her and Kill had never met nor married. She was promptly silenced by a "lawyer threat" that we have strong reason to believe was a bluff.

At the end of the day, there are so many lies, half-truths, inconsistencies, etc. this man has wrapped himself in and we don't know for the life of us what his motives are, but from the information that we do know is false, he isn't genuine. He toys with people. He hurts them. Myself and the others that have been affected by this want that to stop.

And at any point, he has the ability to make a new account, and take on a new persona, pretend to be someone else. Tumblr is a wonderful place and I have met so many cool people on here, but please be careful about who you interact with and what you share, because aside from making this post, it is beyond my power to stop him from doing what he does. But after what he did to me, I could not remain silent.

Other Stories

If you have an experience or story with Killian that you would like heard, please reblog it on this thread or make a post. With your consent, I can include a link to it below.

kittenonpluto's story

aurorag98's story

everyoneisawhore's story

your-nanas-house's story

hllywdwhre's story

Final Note

Lastly, if you have read this far, thank you.

If you want to reach out to me about this issue -- whether it's to anonymously share your experience, ask questions, ask for evidence (of which I can back up these statements with), or anything at all --, please do not hesitate to do so. <3

For those who may be worried about the potential legality of this post, everything that I have stated as fact is fact and it is not my intention to slander or spread false information.

#PSA #predator warning #my story with Killian #Cillian Murphy #Peaky Blinders #mrkdvidal1989

[burningvelvet]

i thought nothing could be worse than the burning of byron’s memoirs but i stand corrected after reading jane austen’s poor wikipedia page

because at least we still have thousands of byron’s letters and journals which are mostly uncensored and which reveal his personality in all of it’s aspects, flaws and all, and everyone in his circle documented every detail of his life because he was a huge celebrity. his letters are considered some of the most brutally transparent ever written. i'm just using him as an example; him and austen shared the same publisher, lived during the same time, both very studied.

but with jane austen? we don’t get that honesty or that truly full picture. her relatives are the main sources of information, and all her surviving letters were carefully selected by them to portray her according to a specific agenda which would favor them, and so the true extent of her personality can never be as fully ascertained.

but at the same time... i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. she doesn't seem to have wanted attention for herself but to have likely preferred privacy, and her books have gotten more acclaim that she ever could have comprehended -- her books are the way we access her, her life, her thoughts and her voice. i think that about all writers, though i do love biographical criticism and biography.

some writers we know nothing about and some writers we know everything about -- at least they all live on in their writing, yes. but on the one hand, i'm grateful all writers live on in their work (as a fan of history and literature) and on the other hand, my unquenchable curiousity does get annoyed with the lack of available information. i would really love to read an extensive series of austen diaries. there is something sort of voyeuristic about this, i know, but there is also a love of preserving the niche parts of history, the parts that others overlook, the undervalued parts (letters, diaries, receipts, notes, scraps, drafts, juvenilia, etc.)

marcus aurelius wanted his diaries burned but perverse curiousity, likely driven by excessive admiration, led to their preservation, and thus we have his meditations which is now one of the most valued pieces of literature ever. so i think letters and diaries, and any piece of writing, does have immense value, even when it borders on a violation of privacy or has the potential to ruin a reputation.

i think this all simply ties in to the fact that i don't believe in book-burning in any form. embarrassing love letters from 1812 ARE important, depressing diary entries from 1818 ARE important. i could go on and on and on but the point is that i think all words and all history are imporant. in my classes we've discussed how archival technology is at the forefront of all human knowledge: what do we keep, what do we preserve, what do we spend more time on salvaging?

it just kills me that so much has been burned and destroyed, regardless of all the intense ethical discussions which could derive from all this, which could go on for a million years. my point is that it is tragic that so much of austen's work was destroyed, and it is tragic that byron's memoirs were destroyed even though we have so much of his work any way. any loss of writing is a loss to posterity.

#ramble #thoughts #jane austen #literature #english literature #romanticism #lord byron #letters #history #english lit #lit #writing #literary history #womens history #censorship #journals #biography #my analysis #my essays #my writing #pride and prejudice #ji

[inawickedlittletown]

You Can Always Find Me Where the Skies are Blue (BuckTommy fic) - 3/5

Summary:

Soulmates are rare. So rare that it's actually incredible that Buck has two soulmate couples in his life. Statistics tell him it's very unlikely for him to meet his soulmate. Of course, then he meets Tommy. Too bad it happens at the worst possible moment.

Canon compliant soulmate AU where Buck is still a mess and Tommy is still very understanding.

Words: 4,109

Ao3

Part One

Part Two

-

Part Three

Buck was a ball of nervous energy. It didn’t help that he’d wound up having to get there a bit later than planned, but Tommy had been very understanding when Buck texted him about running late. When he parked his Jeep, he had hoped for a few minutes to prepare himself, but instead, he spotted Tommy walking purposefully towards him and then the rap of his knuckles on his window. Was he really that confident about everything he did? Buck took a quick breath and Tommy stepped back as Buck opened the door. 

It had been a few days, and Buck had forgotten what Tommy looked like most especially how big he was. It was funny, and yet a little bit amazing because Buck had always felt a bit too tall and a bit too much, but Tommy was actually bigger than him. It was almost like they were supposed to fit somehow.

“Hello,” Tommy said when Buck closed the door. His smile was nice. Welcoming. 

“Hey,” Buck said. 

Seeing Tommy this time was not like the last time, it wasn’t the shock to his nervous system. It still left him a little breathless. 

“So, Evan,” Tommy said, a bit playfully, “turns out that we’re soulmates.” 

“We are,” Buck said and he laughed nervously. 

“Well, it is really nice to meet you,” Tommy said and he extended his hand. “Meet you again, I should say.” 

“You too,” Buck said, reached out and grasped his hand. 

Tommy’s hands were large and callused and warm. His grasp wasn’t loose, but it wasn’t tight as if letting Buck have the option to pull back. They lingered a little longer than was probably normal, their handshake turning into something that could have been holding hands. Buck missed touching him when they dropped their hands. Buck had no idea what to do with that information. 

In the time since the phone call, Buck had mostly convinced himself that this was going to be a platonic bond. It didn’t make sense that it could be anything else. Buck was straight and as far as he knew so was Tommy. Even Hen hadn’t known for sure except that she was sure Tommy had been dating women back when he worked at the 118 which still wasn’t a concrete answer. 

“Do you want to take a look around? We can talk a bit…there’s no pressure, you know, this can go however you want it to go. Good?” 

Buck nodded. He appreciated the way that Tommy took charge. 

“Yeah…yeah I guess so. A tour would be nice.”

Tommy took him inside and from the looks of it the building was a bit similar to how a firehouse operated. They didn’t stop anywhere in particular, but Tommy pointed out the flight ops room and they walked past someone manning a radio. Buck even got a small peek at the locker room. Some things were a little different, the biggest being that instead of a space to keep trucks, there was a hangar with several helicopters of varying sizes and other vehicles and equipment. The huge doors were open to tarmac and a runway. 

“This is impressive,” Buck said. “I’m a bit in awe of what you do.” 

“Just what I do?” Tommy asked and their eyes met.

Buck fought to control a blush. “You’re very impressive,” Buck said and had to make himself look away. 

They walked further in. 

“This here is the heartbeat of the harbor station air operations one,” Tommy said. “Home to five medium and two light duty helicopters. Our team consists of pilots, aeromedics, helitack, and ground support crew twenty-four hours a day. We’re available to run brush fire suppression, air ambulance transport, high rise fire response.” 

“This is so cool,” Buck said and it was. 

He did feel a little like Tommy was giving him a bit of a break, focusing on giving him info that was fascinating but didn’t touch at all on the more personal thing going on between them. It had to be for Buck’s benefit, he knew, but maybe it was for Tommy’s too. A way for both of them to beat the nerves and ease into things. He didn’t tell Tommy that he’d done his own bit of research and already knew a bit of what he was telling him. Air ops was so extremely different than the rest of LAFD. 

“LAFD’s link from the streets to the skies,” Tommy said, “at least that’s what it says on our coffee mugs.” 

Buck chuckled. “Ours just say I need mo’ jo.” 

They did, because Chim had bought a box of ten for his house back when he and Maddie first moved into their house and Maddie had already filled up the cabinets with her more carefully chosen mugs and sent Chim’s along to the 118. It was helpful considering how often they did break their mugs. 

“It’s nice,” Buck said, “seeing this place in the light of day. Now that I’m not here to help steal one of those,” he motioned at the nearest helicopter. “Though I guess I wouldn’t mind going back up in the air.” 

“You ever thought of changing things and—”

“I think I have more than enough excitement at the moment, don’t you?” Buck asked and he turned, meeting Tommy’s eyes. 

Outside with the sun shining down on them, they looked bluer. Buck liked them, not just the color, but the oval shape and the kindness that were within too. 

“I will say that night was the most fun I’ve had since being struck by lightning,” Buck said.  

He could tell as soon as the words were out that Tommy looked shocked, that he had no way to respond. He didn’t add that he’d actually died…that it was some kind of miracle of medicine that Buck had managed to survive and make it to meet Tommy. To meet his soulmate. So much time had already passed since the initial meeting and still Buck had a hard time wrapping his mind around it. He had a soulmate. 

“You need to raise your bar, kid,” Tommy said, but his voice sounded different, like he was trying to restrain himself from saying something else. 

Buck had no idea what to make of the “kid”. Tommy was older…and Buck had no idea what he wanted out of their soulmate connection, which wasn’t to say that Buck hadn’t noticed how ridiculously attractive Tommy was, or that he’d caught Tommy looking at him too with something like appreciation. 

“Just, uh, using it as a point of reference,” Buck clarified lest Tommy think that Buck got a thrill out of almost dying. 

It hadn’t been fun. Not when it happened and not the weird nightmare dream hallucination, and not the time afterwards when his parents were still around and Buck felt like his recovery involved trying to get better quick so they could leave. Not even what followed after they finally left when Maddie became overprotective and got everyone else in on it too. It was just easier to talk about it like it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe that was a bit left over from Natalia and her fascination with it. She had never truly understood the ways in which it had actually damaged him, or how thunder and lightning were things he had to talk himself into ignoring. 

“So, uh, what got you into flying?” Buck asked, hoping to change the subject a bit. “You know, aside from the fact that I assume it feels like having a superpower.” 

“I was actually a pilot in the Army,” Tommy said. 

Neither Hen or Chim had mentioned that. Then again, neither of them had said much about Tommy before this. Buck really knew next to nothing about him, but that could be rectified. It was probably better that Buck was learning about him on his own without any preconceptions.  

“No way,” Buck said. “Eddie was in the Army.” 

“Yeah, he mentioned that,” Tommy said. 

Buck wondered when…but all his thinking about Natalia, made his mind go to Taylor. 

“You know, I…I actually met an ex responding to a helicopter crash, which should have been the first clue.” 

He could tell that Tommy hadn’t expected Buck to say that. “Yeah,” he said, “saving someone’s life and then dating them never turns out the way you’re expecting it to.”

Buck wanted to ask if he knew from experience, but it felt pushy. Maybe they could compare notes, though. A guy like Tommy probably had plenty of stories to tell. 

“I — I figured that out the third time around,” Buck said. 

“Yet, they’re so grateful,” Tommy offered. He wasn’t wrong, maybe it was part of the problem. 

They stopped in front of one of the helicopters. It felt bigger than the one they had flown out to rescue Bobby and Athena and Buck couldn’t help but be impressed by it. His time as a firefighter meant that he’d been around when air ops was called in. He had often looked up into the blue skies to see someone lower themselves down from the helicopter to pull off a rescue that couldn’t be safely done by land. 

“How are you feeling about this really?” Tommy asked. 

“The helicopters?” Buck asked and he turned to look at Tommy directly. 

“No, Evan. Not that.” 

“Oh. I guess I’m still a little shocked. It’s so rare, you know. Soulmates…the stats kinda gave me the idea it wasn’t in the cards for me, but here we are.” 

“Here we are,” Tommy said. “I didn’t expect it either, Evan. I guess what remains is…what do you want this to be?” 

“Right now, I have no clue,” Buck said. “Soulmates are usually it, right, perfect for each other?”

“Yes,” Tommy said. “But that can have so many forms.” 

That was sort of the problem. Buck had no idea what he wanted…or what he even expected a soulmate bond to be like. Looking at Tommy, it didn’t seem like he actually had any answers either. 

“Well, how about we go get a beer and talk about it?” Buck asked. 

He expected Tommy to agree, maybe to get one of his smiles again. Instead, he mumbled something about needing to take a raincheck and Buck felt himself deflate, especially when he realized that Tommy was looking past him. When Buck turned, the last thing he expected was a very familiar car to drive up. What was Eddie doing there?

—

If it wasn’t for the fact that Tommy was flying them to Vegas, he would have just told Eddie to go without him. He just…well, he hadn’t expected Evan to have to come a bit later than planned. He’d been almost a full hour past when they had agreed to meet. He also hadn’t expected for their tour to actually become a tour. He’d leaned into the spiel about Harbor a bit more than he’d planned to, but that was all his nerves about the situation talking. They had only just started to get more comfortable with each other and to talk about what being soulmates meant for them, which was of course when Eddie drove up. 

“Hey, where should I park?” Eddie called out. 

“Just leave it there. It’s fine,” Tommy called back. 

“Copy that.” 

Tommy took that moment to look at Evan, but Evan was looking away, towards Eddie’s truck. Eddie was already out of the car and walking towards them and Tommy didn’t have a chance to ask Evan how he wanted to handle things. Tommy was…well, he was used to what it was like to be gay and discreet. It was part of being queer and more importantly, part of being queer in his line of work where most guys were all macho and very very straight. 

Yeah, they were soulmates, but from having hung out with Eddie, he got the sense that Eddie didn’t know Evan to be anything other than straight. Tommy didn’t even know how Evan identified since they hadn’t had that conversation yet. Tommy wouldn’t out him. He wouldn’t do that to anyone, he especially wouldn’t do that to Evan. He also…well, he thought that Evan was straight.  

As Eddie walked towards them, he went around Evan to meet him, high fiving him when Eddie lifted his hand. 

“Hey Buck. Hey Tommy,” Eddie said. “This is great. You got three tickets to the fight?” 

If only. 

“No,” He said. “I wish. Uh, I was giving Evan a tour.” Evan looked confused, but he didn’t contradict him. 

“Wait,” Eddie said, aiming it at Evan, “you’re not thinking about jumping ship?”

Tommy had known Evan for such a small amount of time, that he couldn’t be fully sure what his expression meant. He did think, though, that he’d messed things up. Was it that he’d told Eddie it was only about giving him a tour? Tommy couldn’t tell. Maybe, he should have explained earlier about them not having much time and that Tommy had plans with Eddie. Maybe he should have asked to meet up on a different day, except that he had wanted to see Evan as soon as possible even if it was for just a couple of hours. 

“Uh, no,” Evan said. “I’m just, you know, uh…keeping my options fluid. So…so there’s a fight?” 

When Eddie pointed out they had to go, Tommy didn’t want to. He looked right at Evan, hoping that he was passing on how sorry he felt, but he couldn’t be sure that Evan was getting it. 

“Uh, we can stay a little longer,” Tommy said. “We’ll make it, Eddie.” 

“No,” Evan said with a shake of his head. “If you have to go, just…you guys can go.” 

Tommy hated it. He could tell that Evan wasn’t happy about it. He wouldn’t meet Tommy’s eyes and his shoulders were just a little bit slumped. Tommy wanted nothing more than to offer an explanation, to hug him and make it better, to just cancel on Eddie despite how rude it might come off. Evan was his soulmate and Tommy shouldn’t be the person to make him feel bad in any way. 

“Evan—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Evan said. “You guys should go.” 

“Alright,” Tommy said. 

“See ya, Buck,” Eddie said. 

It took a lot for Tommy to start towards the helicopter. Eddie already heading towards it. He only looked back once, but he saw Evan’s shock as he realized that they weren’t heading to Eddie’s car, but the helicopter that Tommy had waiting. 

“Wait, you’re flying a chopper to The Coliseum?” Evan called out to them. 

“Fight’s not in LA. It’s in Vegas,” Tommy called back. “Take care, Evan.” 

He kept his eyes on Evan for as long as he could, but then he was getting into the chopper. He did look back at him once inside. It was hard not to go to him, it was also hard not to be distracted by how beautiful Evan was even when he looked so despondent. 

“It’s nice of you to give Buck a tour. He kind of hyper fixates on things and wants to know everything about them. I guess this all made an impression on him the other night,” Eddie said, once they were in the air. 

“I guess it did,” Tommy said. “I feel bad leaving him behind like that.”

“Don’t,” Eddie said. “For one thing, the fight would be wasted on him and for another, I don’t think he cared that much. Was probably just surprised to see me show up. Seriously, Tommy, don’t worry about Buck.” 

Except that, he couldn’t help but worry. It stayed with him the whole flight and while Eddie talked about one thing or another, Tommy thought about what he might say to Evan as soon as he had a moment to do so. That time didn’t come until they were at their seats. Eddie was busy making a call to check on his son, and it gave Tommy the opportunity to call Evan. 

He didn’t answer. Twice he tried to call, but there was no answer. He had no idea if that meant he should worry or if Evan was somehow just not available. 

So, he texted. 

Evan, I really enjoyed seeing you today. I wish we’d had more time to really talk and get to know each other because I do want to get to know you. We’re soulmates, you know, and that means something to me. Talk soon? Take care.

Evan didn’t respond, but Tommy somehow hadn’t expected him to, not that it stopped him from checking his phone obsessively to the point where Eddie commented on it. 

“Just…I was waiting for a text,” Tommy said. 

“You know what they say about boiling water, man,” Eddie said. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tommy said and he stuffed his phone in his pocket. Maybe the next time he looked at it there would be a response. 

Eddie bumped their shoulders. “Oh, hey, I meant to ask if you knew of a good mechanic.” 

“Your truck looked fine today.” 

“Not for my truck. My abuela left me her Chevelle when she moved back to Texas. I don’t really drive it often, but I think it’s in need of a tuneup. I try, but it’s not exactly my area.”

Cars were a great distraction from thinking about Evan. Before he loved helicopters, Tommy loved cars. If there was one thing that he could give to his father, it was how much he had taught Tommy about cars. For some time, right before he made the decision to go to the Army, he’d even considered going to trade school and becoming a mechanic. He had never stopped tinkering and working on his own cars. It was why he’d even gone as far as to install a lift in his garage. 

“What year?” he asked. 

“1970,” Eddie said. 

“Oh. Well, now you gotta let me see it. You might not even need a mechanic if I can figure out what it needs.” 

“Seriously?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, seriously.”

“Well, now you really gotta let me buy you a beer. I’ll get us something to snack on too.” 

“Just one. I have to fly us back.” 

Eddie nodded and then he was off, lost to the crowd. His friend had got them ring-side seats. They were great, so close to the action that once everything got started they wouldn’t miss a thing. Tommy checked his phone again while Eddie was gone, but there was nothing other than texts from Lucy that Tommy decided to ignore for the time being. 

Around him the seats were starting to get filled by the time that Eddie got back. He brought them each a basket of nachos and two beers that they clinked together. 

“Hey, what time’s your shift tomorrow?” Tommy asked. 

“Not until mid-afternoon. Why? You wanna hit up a casino after this?” 

Tommy shook his head. “Not at all. But, why don’t you bring the Chevelle over and I can take a look.”

“That’d be great,” Eddie said. “Calling you up is starting to feel like one of my better decisions.” 

Tommy just laughed. 

—

Buck had no idea how long he lingered after he saw the helicopter take off. Eventually, he did make it back to his car and he sat there even longer, feeling more than a bit deflated. It had all happened so quick. One moment he and Tommy were talking and having what had felt to Buck like a good time and then Eddie was there and Tommy was leaving with Eddie to Vegas. They were going to see a fight in Vegas, one that involved Tommy flying them out. It was a little bit of a blindsight because while he had been agonizing over getting in contact with Tommy and what might happen and how they were soulmates, Tommy had been hanging out with Eddie. They were friends. 

By the time that he made it back to his apartment, Buck was still more than a little annoyed. Maybe it was that he hadn’t known they were on some kind of clock. Or maybe it was that he’d seen just how well the two of them got on without any of the awkwardness that existed between him and Tommy. Nevertheless, Buck found himself in a bad mood. 

He thought about calling Maddie, but that would have involved telling her about Tommy. He wanted to tell her, but he wasn’t in the mood to explain or deal with how Maddie would take Buck’s soulmate being a guy. Hen was an option, except that Buck felt a little foolish and he would rather not have Hen tell him that he was being ridiculous. 

Buck was used to being alone. He had done his best over the years to not be, but it didn’t change that he was used to it. He sat out on his balcony with a beer, playing music on his phone because the silence needed to be broken. Above him the sky was blue, almost cloudless. It made him think of Tommy. 

Tommy really was impressive. Captivating. Buck was a mess around him. He was a mess about him. Eddie wasn’t though. No, Eddie just made friends with Tommy like it was easy and like it wasn’t a big deal at all. For Buck it was the biggest deal. 

He groaned into his arm. What if he really wasn’t enough? Tommy was awesome…he was one of the coolest people that Buck had ever met and Buck was just Buck. Buck had never been enough for more people than he could count. Not his parents. Not Abby. Not Ali. Not even Taylor or Natalia. Even Maddie fell into that category at times. He didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it if his very own soulmate also found out one day that Buck was not what they wanted.  

—

“That was amazing,” Eddie said, still strangely high energy. Tommy, for his part, felt tired. “I mean…the fight could have been better, but that was just a lot of fun.” 

Tommy smiled back. He’d had a lot of fun too. Eddie was exactly the type of friend that Tommy had been missing. 

“Anyway, I should get back. If I know Christopher, he’s probably still awake and it’s a school night. We still on for tomorrow?” 

“Of course,” Tommy said. “I’ll text you my address.” 

They bumped fists and then Eddie was crossing the tarmac to get to his car. Tommy meanwhile pulled out his phone, though he knew what he’d find. Notifications for emails that were probably junk, the texts from Lucy, one from Fred, his promoter friend, and strangely enough a text from Hen. He opened hers first. 

Hen: Just wanted to congratulate you. I hope today went well with you and Buck. I’m rooting for you guys. ❤️

Evan had told her about them being soulmates. He couldn’t help but smile. The thing about Hen was that Tommy really admired her. She probably didn’t know the impact she’d had on him or how even to this day he considered her the bravest person he knew. 

Tommy would never go as far as to give Hen all the credit for the changes he made in his life that led him to becoming a better person, but he could say she was a catalyst. His closet had been built out of bricks and concrete, sturdy and fully sealed up and when Hen arrived, she had found that one loose brick and pried it out. It wasn’t immediate, but all the bricks came down eventually. Tommy had been freed. 

Tommy had never come out to Hen. He had no idea if she’d heard through the LAFD grapevine or if she’d ever suspected, but he figured that with this whole soulmate thing, it would become known. He didn’t mind one bit. The petty part of him even wanted to send some sort of announcement about it to his parents to show exactly how well he was doing in spite of them. 

Her text did make him feel bad about Evan again, and he had to force himself to push it aside. 

As he got back to his car, he thought about calling her and really having a conversation about it. It was only the lateness of the hour that stopped him. It also stopped him from calling Evan. He’d leave both off until the next morning. He did finally look at Lucy’s texts. 

Lucy: WTF KINARD. It’s Buck! 

Lucy: Your soulmate is Buck. 🤯🤯

Lucy: Wait…does that mean you met him and then flew him into a hurricane? Way to show off to the soulmate 👏🏻👏🏻

-

Part Four

#911 abc #911 fic #bucktommy #bucktommy fic #kinley #tevan #kinley fic #tevan fic #you can find me where the skies are blue #my fic #soulmate au

[recurring-polynya]

Izakaya Kamenoya, part 3

It's been so long, and I kept getting busy with stuff, but rest assured, I have not stopped thinking about every shinigami's favorite watering hole, Izakaya Kamenoya, for even one second of that time, and today I am going to talk about what's really important: what kind of booze can you get there.

The multiplicity of drink options is honestly the thing I really love about Kamenoya. On a meta level, someone has to draw all this stuff, like, with their hands. I have no idea, actually, if the animators consider this sort of thing a break from all the powering up and sword fights and rolling across cave floors, or if they consider a Trip to the Bar to be really tedious. My point is, they very well could have just always drawn people drinking out of the same cups, except they didn't, they drew a series of loving close ups of sake-pouring and a variety of drinkware styles. On a more Watsonian level, I just like the idea that, like Alice's Restaurant, you can get anything you want at Izakaya Kamenoya. So let's get into it!

I think the thing that really made me notice this was this scene from the Amagai Arc, where you see Kira doing mokkiri, or overpouring his sake. (At least I think that's what he's doing. The articles I read sounded more like the server is supposed to do it, which emphasizes the establishment's generosity, so maybe Kira is just being a messy drunk. I'm pretty sure you're also not supposed to pour yourself sake, you're supposed to do it for your tablemates)

Often, mokkiri is done into a masu, which is a small square box that was used as a standard measure for rice. You can see Nanao drinking out of one here!

What kind of cup to drink your sake out of is a huge topic, but basically, it depends on the flavor and characteristics of the sake. The fact that Kira and the Lads are drinking out of clear glasses might imply that they're drinking chilled, summer-style sake (or possibly trying to appreciate the clarity of the vintage, as if this is what you call up Iba and Renji to go to the pub for).

I am not an expert, so I'm not going to attempt to identify exactly what these different cups would be classified as, but you can see a variety of shapes, sizes and materials.

I found less information on different shapes of tokkuri (that's the slightly bigger bottle that you serve from), but those come in a variety, as well. Mostly, they have either the large, oval-shaped jugs you can see in the first picture, or the more slender white ones in the second. I am really fond of these tall boys that Kira and Hisagi have, which seem to have straighter sides than the other kind, kind of like a milk bottle.

While we're looking at that picture, there's an ad on the wall for beer. Beer!

In modern times, beer is actually the most popular alcoholic beverage in Japan, which Wikipedia tells me came about after WWII because of restrictions on the use of rice. They've had beer since the Edo era, though, and many of today's major breweries got started in the late 1800s. I love the idea that beer is a thing you can get in Soul Society, but it's clear that it has not overcome sake in popularity the way it did in the World of the Living--which makes sense, because of they never had those restrictions. (In other words, throw this in the bucket of stuff like tattoos and attitudes toward homosexuality that I think diverged from the Living World because of weird quirks of history).

In fact, Kamenoya apparently imports beer from the World of Living (maybe it also has local brews as well).

Look how lovingly that bottle of Kirin is drawn. 😂 The fact that it's shown in a glass mug in the ad, but served in a Pilsner glass here supports the idea that there are multiple kinds of beer available. Now, I believe that Kirin Zero is non-alcoholic. It's surprisingly hard to do research on beer labels from 20 years ago. I couldn't find a label that looked exactly like that, and Kirin's non-alcoholic offering seems to be called Kirin Free now (Kirin Zero is now zero-carb and I couldn't figure out if it's alcoholic or not). In any case, I am choosing in my heart to believe that this is because of weird TV censorship and in no way implies that Rukia is not one of the champion drinkers of the Gotei-13.

Don't get me wrong! I love a bar that offers non-alcoholic options! You can also get tea at Kamenoya, which you can see Tobiume and Okyō drinking below; Momo has some as well (they also have a discussion about it)

earlier posts in this series: (part 1) (part 2)

#izakaya kamenoya #i was going to talk about food too but this post is long enough so i guess we just gotta have a PART 4 #i actually think it's really great that they show characters who don't prefer to drink #i just wish it wasn't always the tiny lady characters #bleach is also really good at often showing that strength goes with spiritual pressure and not with size #and i think alcohol tolerance should go the same way #ukitake always gets to drink and he's on like 9000 medications! #show us komamura going to the bar and ordering water in a large bowl you cowards!! #at least we have matsumoto sloppy drunk feminist icon

[cpcwiki]

⚠ WIKI AD INCOMING ⚠

Hi, everyone! @mechanical-clown here on a new blog! That's right, it's the Real Official CPC Wiki Social Media Account here!! B) Unfortunately I do not have good news to deliver

It's been a hot minute since my last ad and I do want you all to know I'm still sorry for doing this. Unfortunately, again, how bad I feel making another ad is outweighed by how much the wiki needs more help. I've been feeling especially desperate lately because of the fact that CPC is ending soon, and there are many tasks that will be made harder if it's put on daily pass. So, in my cry for effort to get help, here's an explanation of what I believe is our biggest issue and a rundown of things that currently need to be done! Again I am sorry. This could take a while

If you were fortunate enough to not have seen this post last time, the Cursed Princess (Club) Wiki needs help if it wants to be complete any time soon. Kind of a lot of it. As we all know, cpcblr's very active and prolific in content and the wiki's typically... not. To seriously get into this, the only three active editors in the past month or two have been me, @the-neighbors-kid (aka cursed-princess-club), and Ama (not sure if she wants to be tagged but we all know her!). Shoutout to you two because you are actually the best thank you I love you /pl <3

Anyways, there are already a lot of things we need to do to fix up the wiki. Thankfully, accessing any episode for any information you'd like is easy! And it will continue to be that easy after CPC ends, because Webtoon doesn't feel the need to limit how many episodes a person can view, right? Right? ...Yeah, so, uh, daily pass exists.

As of the time I'm writing this, there are ~10 episodes left in CPC (forgot the exact number lol). Assuming there are no hiatuses, that's only 10 more weeks, or 2 and a half months - and that's pretty soon! While there is a chance that CPC might not have daily pass after it ends, it's a small one. And, to me, that sounds like a huge problem!! If CPC is put on daily pass, accessing episodes will become much more difficult. Looking for a certain character's appearances, adding images, even just finding a single reference - it'll take a day to unlock the needed episode, and that episode will be gone in 2 weeks. The best solution to this problem would probably be to just use physical copies of CPC to find things, but those aren't available to everyone.

And adding images with daily pass episodes? As a reminder, screenshotting while viewing an episode on daily pass is taken as a sign of piracy. Screenshotting, the way we get images for the wiki. I've tried poring through Webtoon's terms of use to find some answer about whether publicly posting such screenshotted images would be illegal, but there's no mention of daily pass, and the text is so dense it's hard for me to tell. (I want to say I'll take a second look at it sometime, but that's probably just going to go into my list of permanently-unfinished priorities. I doubt the physical copies would be a good alternative to screenshots, either.) Regardless, I don't want to take any chances with the law, or see however Webtoon would punish us on the chance they find our frightening screenshots. Thus, another top priority of mine is to add more images and complete more galleries before CPC ends.

Oh, yeah, and that's barely even scratching the surface! Here's more stuff we need to do, presented in an appealing (classic Mocha iykyk) bulleted list:

A major thing is filling in episode pages. Episodes 40-around 110 are basically blank - no synopsis, character list, summary, or extra information. This is the task that would likely be least burdened by the addition of daily pass, but in my opinion, it's still of the absolute highest priority.

Galleries, which display images of characters, locations, or episodes. While not generally that important, I do think it'd be a good idea to fill out mostly empty ones now - you know, since taking screenshots of CPC may become illegal in the future! Most characters have a good amount of images on their pages, thankfully (the pastel sisters have so many they were the first to get separate gallery pages); some, including Jack and Leland, have very few. Episode pages and locations often have way less, though those aren’t as important

Relationship sections for a number of characters. These involve write about characters’ relationships, though in a way that mainly describes their interactions throughout the episodes without expressing any specific opinions. Some major sections that need to be written/updated include Jamie and Leopold; Jolie and Nell; Leland and really everyone on his page but especially Jack; Jack and Lilyth; Suzanna and Lance/Lorena; the Plaid Princes with each other; and more! Many more!

History sections for a number of characters. In a similar vein to relationship sections, these just detail a character’s appearances in the story, as well as their past or other mentions of them. Examples of (mostly - Isolde's isn't fully updated yet) completed history sections include Whitney’s, Isolde’s, and Monika’s! Examples of incomplete sections include virtually everyone else’s.

You might be wondering why I, a wiki admin (in case I haven't said it enough) am not doing any of these things! That’s because I'm neglectful and pretty bad at my job. I will not sugarcoat that part anymore. As much as I love the wiki (it's where I met my best friend after all, and while I'm writing this they just went offline so he can get fucked /j) I don't have motivation to work on it very often. Really, I don't have motivation to work on much nowadays! Ama's been doing the virtually thankless job of keeping the wiki up for the past couple months, and I've been mostly absent. The wiki is only remotely as active as cpcblr because of her. I feel terrible about it, but I'd rather be writing this 9-paragraph cry for help than editing, so, uh... yeah this is a public apology to Ama. I am so sorry. I know this isn't very professional but I'm incapable of being professional about the wiki tbh

TL;DR: As CPC is ending soon, the impending threat of daily pass could take away the ability to look at episodes whenever you want, which would make wiki editing much harder. We seriously need editors to join us in finishing the wiki. Please at least consider helping us!! Any way you can is appreciated - even if you can only make very few edits, I'll be immensely grateful for your support :)

If you have any questions about anything wiki-related, contact me!! My Discord's at musicitself, and you can also always DM me on here! And here's an invite to our wiki Discord server, too!! Of course, you don't have to become a wiki editor to join, but (as was the point of this entire post) I would really really REALLY love if you did. Thank you so much for reading this long, and have a great day!

#cursed princess club #if i did not say it enough. I am sorry #wiki ad :( #mocha talking #cookie told me to leave me swearing at him in. so i did what they wanted. dont blame me #cpc

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

#idkhow #idkhow lore #srchprty #tellexx

[utilitycaster]

A lot of people who try to analyze religion in Exandria need to watch the Adventuring Academy episode where Brennan and Matt talked about worldbuilding, specifically when Matt said “In a game like dungeons and dragons, or a lot of role playing games where ultimately part of the game is to overcome villains and rise up and become a hero, there has to be some level of universal antagonism… there is a pure and defined entity or force that is evil, it may not be realistic to some stories out there, but that’s [how it works in DND].”

This is true, and it's really interesting to watch this happen because Matt will make a huge, unambiguous evil like Lucien or the Vanguard, or Brennan will do so with Asmodeus and people will do everything they can to try to come up with reasons to woobify them or argue why they're justified...but I haven't seen this happen in most of the D20 seasons, and I think it's because the villains in most D20 seasons have been things that reinforce people's beliefs, namely, capitalism and abuse of religious power. And to be clear, capitalism and abuse of religious power fucking suck, but it's telling that people assume the villain is capitalism in places where that doesn't apply on a wide scale, or in some cases, exist (EXU Calamity, Neverafter); or that the Ruby Vanguard or Tomb Takers, both of which have pretty much every single hallmark of a cult but just aren't affiliated with the main pantheon, are actually the good guys.

Incidentally: this is like, quite literally how people get sucked into cults. One of the leading cult researchers in the world, Janja Lalich, is a survivor of a now dissolved explicitly leftist/anti-capitalist cult. Abuses of power, which is, ultimately, what both Brennan and Matt lean on as their Universal Antagonist traits, rely on confirming people's existing biases and exploiting them - even if those biases are broadly good! This is in fact why I can get so fucking adamant about what is mostly silly fandom shit, because I do, on some level, look at some takes that completely lack critical thinking and am like oh you'd 100% buy into all kinds of dangerous patterns of thought if someone packaged it nicely; even something as stupid as the Caleb Werewolf Theory relied on circumstantial evidence and false information that you could easily verify was false. And it's annoying but mostly harmless in the context of fandom, but it always makes me wonder - does this person do this with political posts on social media?

Anyway getting back to the main point, I think watching/listening to Brennan commentary on Adventuring Academy is generally a really good idea because he is a very smart guy with a philosophy degree and has a strong grasp of the genres in which he works as well as TTRPGs as a storytelling medium, and talks to other people who also have a good understanding of the morality of fantasy stories. And if you listen to this, you will in fact get that the basis of evil in these stories is not something as specific as "capitalism" or "religion"; it's quite literally as basic as "exploiting other people simply because that is an option available to you and you don't care about them." And obviously that's the whole basis of capitalism, and it's a serious problem that exists within organized religion, but like...not to repeat myself from this weekend but I keep thinking about the "Suvi without the imperialism" and it's like...she is a 20 year old woman whose parents died for a cause and we have had ONE episode with her as an adult. We know nothing about the Empire except that it's an empire and it is at war. Like, can you look at imperialism and understand why it's bad? Can you separate the concept of imperalism - which, to be clear, is based on power structures - from say, your 21st century understanding of empires in the real world? Or do you see the word Empire and go "Bad Thing" without any capacity to analyze because that's how you end up looking at two flawed things in a story (well, if we're lucky; see the middle paragraph) and deciding one is perfect and correct for no reason other than because it opposes the thing you think is worse. And Brennan is REALLY good at skewering that, and Matt is REALLY good at portraying multiple complicated and flawed perspectives, but you do have to like, use your brain slightly.

#answered #Anonymous #i'm having flashbacks to when people were like The Dynasty (theocracy ruled by the same person for a millennium) is perfect no notes #simply bc the dwendalian empire was ALSO bad #cr tag #long post

[fandomshatefatpeople]

hi! so, ik this blog is mostly about fandom stuff, but i was wondering if i could ask for some advice? basically, i'm a skinny person. bony and knobby and tall and always have been. but, my little sister who i adore and love with all my heart is fat, and considered unhealthily "overweight" for her age.

i firmly believe that "fat = unhealthy" is ABSLOUTE BULLSHIT, but i still find myself falling into some weird habits with her--such as resolutely avoiding mentioning that she might be in any way bigger than anyone else (as if it's a bad thing that should be avoided, even though i know it's not!) etc. i do my best to curb those tendencies, but i worry that it's not enough.

in addition, my dad (unlike me) DOES believe that she's unhealthy, and tries to restrict her eating (especially sugar). she's not getting a lack of calories or anything, so i'm not worried about it affecting her physical health too much, but i don't want her to develop a complex because when she was a kid she couldn't have more than one sugary snack a day.

there's roughly a sub-zero chance of convincing my stubbornest-man-on-earth aspie dad that she's not actually going to die of heart disease, so unfortunately i'm helpless on this front. still, if there's anything in particular i can do to support her through it, or if you have any particular advice, i'd love to hear it. it's really important to me to be able to be the best big sister to her i can be, and i worry about her a lot ever since i learned how hard it can be to be a fat person in our world.

thank you so much, and sorry for the long-winded message! any advice is appreciated <3

I want to start with an apology to all of the unanswered asks in my inbox. I started graduate school and am trying not to drown. With that being said, reading this ask tugged at my heart and I had to answer.

To be honest, I don't know how much this will help. I'm not an expert, I'm just a fat woman who thought she was a fat kid who's had to work through decades of fatphobia (internalized and external), but here's what I think might be useful. I would be so grateful for anyone to add helpful, non-fatphobic advice in the comments! Also, your mileage may vary depending on the age of your sister.

One thing that helped me was learning how absolute bullocks things like BMI measurements are. So for that matter is fat = heart disease. If you think you dad would be open to reading it, you could share this with him: Separate and combined associations of body-mass index and abdominal adiposity with cardiovascular disease: collaborative analysis of 58 prospective studies - PubMed (nih.gov) The most important part of this study, for our purposes is this bit, "Interpretation: BMI, waist circumference, and waist-to-hip ratio, whether assessed singly or in combination, do not importantly improve cardiovascular disease risk prediction in people in developed countries when additional information is available for systolic blood pressure, history of diabetes, and lipids."

Other things I think can help is not treating her any differently than anyone else. This sounds obvious, but if you are going out of your way to avoid comparing her size to anyone else's in a conversation where that is relevant then the message she hears could be one of "your body is wrong and I'm embarrassed to talk about it".

It may help to share with her your thoughts on fatphobia as a general topic, letting her know you recognize the value in diverse body types and sizes and how none is better than another. Just knowing that someone she loves and looks up to sees value in bodies like hers can mean a lot. Similarly, if you feel you have the ability to call out fatphobic comments do so, whether she's around or not. Just pushing back with something as simple as, "I don't believe in judging the value of others based on the size of their bodies" or "I don't think that joke was very funny" or even just an unamused stare, can send a huge message.

Another important thing is to be on the lookout for signs of dieting. Dieting is one of the worst things you can do to your health as years of yo-yo dieting are actually worse for your health than "being fat" ever can be.

Forgive me for referring back to my own previous work, but under the cut are some links that might be helpful to combat much of the negative messaging that comes when you are fat.

I am so glad you reached out and I wish you all the best as you support your sister and hopefully help her to thrive!

#mod amelia #fat acceptance #diets do not work #ask

[actionsurges]

A FURTHER EXPLANATION OF MY DMING PHILOSOPHY

I made a post earlier that was titled something like "anyways here's how to be a good DM" and I never really fully explained the points I made and what that looks like for me when planning and prepping a game. Now that my current short game is mostly through and most of the big reveals have dropped, I'm happy to use it as an explanation for this because I think it's a good example of it on a small scale.

"Give your players a clear idea of the game you want to run and make sure people are on the same page."

What I mean by this is it all comes down to how you present your game. I'm going to be using my three-part heist game. What I did to make sure my group were on the same page was I gave them the following information:

I wanted the game to be split into three parts, the set up to the heist, the heist itself, and the complication / resolution. 

I asked them what sort of heist theme they wanted to do, if their characters had pre-established relationships? What type of item did they want to steal? What atmosphere did they wanted to heist in? And my party settled on stealing a significant item from a semi-public function and that their characters loosely knew of each other. 

I told them about our setting, a floral, horticultural themed city inspired by Italian and Spanish architecture (which also means partially inspired by Al-Andalusian architecture bc nothing in the world is in a vacuum lmao) and with a huge theater/opera scene that is largely only available to the upper class. 

I gave them my house rules for character creation to get them started on the mechanical side

This last one came halfway through me figuring out the plot / partway through they had figured out the character concepts they wanted to pursue but I gave them a more detailed premise of what the heist would be from an in-world perspective and how their character was going to be connected to it. (Imgur Link Here)

Then I set them loose and let them start coming up with character concepts and figuring out how to tie them to the setting and how they influence what the plot will be. Which leads us to-

"Create a situation and put your players in that situation, watch what they do to resolve it, and repeat the process based on what they do."

This doesn't speak to how you build things gradually leading up to a larger plot, but this is how I approach short games, one shots, or the arcs in my long game. I would also say you want to make the situation you're creating connect to the characters in some way whether it's in a plot way or an emotional stakes way.  

My players for the heist game settled on:

A) a down on his luck mafia goon who was being blackmailed by his mafia don using the pc's niece, who he couldn't raise on his own and has no clue she's a bargaining chip because she's grown up in that situation. she's also goth but that's irrelevant.

B) an accomplished but now retired thief who has become an art restorer and still mingles within high society, but worries about his adopted sibling who is still plotting and scheming even after a terrible injury that took her out of the game temporarily.

C) a graduate of an arcane university whose student loans are the reason they've turned to crime, with an unusual connection to a quori adrift in space that is the literal embodiment of the dream of recognition. 

D) a courtesan by 'day' / assassin by 'night, who has fallen in love with the governor's wife, who is both her patron and her patron.

These concepts are what helped me flesh out the heist premise that I ended up giving to them (its in that imgur link above) and helped me start to realize how I wanted to thread things together. As soon as I knew that B had a storied history, I wanted to make that NPC important and ended up making them the plot device and person who got the party together for the heist. When I knew D wanted to have an important archmage patron and was determining what sort of event I wanted them to steal from, something just clicked into place for political race and having her NPC be the governor's wife. I wanted to connect C and the governor's wife via the type of magic they use so they're both connected to the lost planet of aberrations. And then of course, the mafia's going to be involved and have some hand in trying to rig the election for A. 

What this led to was a gala where the following things are going to happen which the party cannot control and could change the course of their plan and how they do the heist:

the governor is going to be assassinated by someone hired by the mafia (revealed to be. a courtesan/assassin bc somehow one of my players sniped an NPC concept I came up with 4 years ago when i first went, huh i want to do a heist game in fantasy italy someday.) 

the mafia don and A's niece will be there

news flash, the special object is holding someone inside it and the party has no clue who or what yet

the ticking pressure of if they'll even be able to make it out with the catastrophic complications, and where their ally, B's sibling is... 

So yeah, that's how I set up a game and a situation. I like to build ways for my players to be connected to the scenario and have a personal stake in it even if it isn't explicitly About Them. They all still get to have great beats that are important to their characters and things to pursue within the structure of the plot and I find that it works well and I recommend the "put these guys in a situation" strategy for any DM that wants to feel like you're giving your players good boundaries to work within and also give them agency to propel the plot. 

I have no clue if my players will make it out of this situation with the rose or with all of their allies or how their interpersonal relationships will be affected, but that's okay. I'm reacting to their strategy and the dice rolls to bring them towards a resolution, whatever that resolution may be and they have the power to affect where they end up because I haven't decided an ending. I haven't assumed that they'll successfully get away with everything they want and everything perfectly resolved but I also haven't assumed they'll end up in jail or dead. It will be what it will be and I'm optimistic and excited to see what they do with the scenario!

Anyway, that's all. Put your guys in problems.

#liza.txt #d&d advice #d&d commentary #that's all babey #idk if this makes sense but i hope it does and i'm always changing the way i prep based on this concept and how to impliment it for each #thing i run #my d&d posts

[seherstudies]

Japanese Reading Resources

【Free (mostly) resources】

Syosetu - A site where novelists can post their novels. They are free to read even without an account.

Matcha - A web magazine which introduces Japan for visitors. It introduces not only sightseeing spots all over Japan but also food, shopping and other useful information that you should know when you are travelling to Japan. If you are still a beginner in Japanese or not a high level there also is a Matcha Easy. Both are free.

Satori Reader - Probably my favourite resource for reading. You can choose stories based on your level and also adjust how many kanji will be featured. Grammar and unusual sentence structure is annotated to help you understand the sentence fully and the thought process why the sentence structure is the way it is. Satori Reader also has a built-in SRS which is just awesome because it not just tests you on the word but it shows the word and the whole sentence you bookmarked it from. Free to a certain degree. If you want to access full stories, usually the first episode is free, you will have to get premium which is 9€/month or 90€/year. There are often sales though eg. during New Year's or Golden Week.

Pixiv - Not much to say about Pixiv tbh. You have to make an account to be able to access the content on there but then you are free to roam and discover art, manga and novels based on what you like.

【Where to get books, manga and whatnot from】

bookwalker.jp - Huge selection of ebooks and manga. Offers a lot of manga and books for free everyday which you can keep them forever once they are in your library. Downside, no downloadable app to read books offline in. Upside, you can highlight and colour code words, grammar, phrases you want to remember etc. (Only works with novels though and not manga...grrr)

cmoa.jp - Same as Bookwalker, huge selection of books and manga. Offers many works for free everyday too. I haven't used it that much yet so I am not sure but they seem to be time restricted too- I don't know if you can keep them after the time-period ends. Downside, you can only put bookmarks but not highlight individual words, etc. from what I have seen. Upside, downloadable app where you can also download your books to and read offline. Update 3.7.2023: The PC app is no longer being supported. The webapp, the iOS and Android app are though the phone apps don't seem to be available internationally (at least I can't find it on my android device).

Feel free to reblog and add your own resources you use(d) and like!

#japanese resources #japanese reading resources

[lucllle]

Chief Alchemist

You had traveled to Dragonspine to work under Albedo as an assistant, since his official assistant was not available at the moment. You were already confident in your abilities when it came to alchemy, but decided that it would be beneficial twork under the Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. You were still amazed at the fact that Albedo had given you the opportunity to work with him, but you definitely weren’t gonna sit on your ass the entire time, that’s for sure. 

You knew dragonspine was gonna be cold, but you didn’t realize just how cold. Luckily, you had brought your own homemade potions that were specifically made to warm the human body. That way, your outfit didn’t need to be covered up by a huge fur coat. You still had one in your suitcase, though, just in case. You used your map to guide you, making sure to be quick on your feet so as to not attract attention from monsters. Soon enough, you were close enough to see his camp, quickening your pace. 

Once you were finally at the site, you couldn’t help but stare in amazement. There were bits of research everywhere around you, valuable information there at your disposal. Albedo was writing things down on his clipboard before turning to look at you. 

“ Oh, you’ve arrived. You’re dressed rather lighty. Would you like a fur coat? “ He put the clipboard down on the table he was close to. 

“ No, that won’t be necessary. I brought my own potions to help with the cold. “ 

“ Potions? Do you specialize in them? “ His eyes widened curiously. You felt that if he were a dog or cat of somesort, his tail and ears would have perked up. 

“ Yeah, I’ve been studying it ever since I had the resources. Where can I put my things? “ 

“ That very dedication must’ve been what brought us together today, then. You can put your things inside of my tent, it isn’t very far from here. You’ll be staying there with me for the next few  days. “ 

You nodded, placing your suitcase near a chalkboard. “ I’ll leave my things here for right now then. I’ve heard your research has recently been revolving around ways to affect the human body, yes? “ 

“ Yes, I’ll inform you about what I need you to do. Are there any tools here you aren’t familiar with? “ He gestured to a small table on wheels with various tools, but you were familiar with them. 

“ I can’t say I’ve used everything here before, but I know all their uses. I hope that won’t be any trouble for you. “ He adjusted his gloves, grabbing his clipboard and pencil. 

“ Don’t worry, it won’t be much of a problem. I’ll bring you up to speed; I’ve been studying the human genitalia, both male and female. This experiment is mostly for monetary purposes, since I’m cooperating with an organization that deals with escorts legally. In short, I’m making both lubricant and potions designed to make humans sensitive to sexual pleasure and more aroused. “ He stared down at his clipboard, then back up at you. “ I believe that your knowledge of potions and how they’re capable of affecting the human body will be of use for this experiment. “

You were taken aback at first, especially since this was the last thing you had expected the experiment to be about. “ Hm… Well, I think it shouldn’t be very hard. “ You walked up to the chalkboard, where Albedo had sketched out a male and female body, including the reproductive organs. You didn’t plan on doing this sort of thing when you got here, but you figured you could learn a thing or two. “ For the sensitivity aspect, I think we should study the most sensitive parts of the genitalia… And how we can replicate that sensitivity for the rest of the genital. “ You turned back to look at him. “ Judging by the fact that you aren’t writing anything, you’ve come to this conclusion already. Have you looked into the matter? “ 

“ Yes, I have. I didn’t pursue it for very long, though. Since the reason for the clitoris and head of the penis’ sensitivity is because of the number of nerve endings it has, we can’t replicate that through lubricant or potions at all. What we can do, however, is study what sensations the human body is specifically sensitive to, like the cold. “ 

“ I assumed that’d be the case. For lubricant, I feel as if something that is hot or cold will be sufficient depending on what the user prefers. We could harvest whopperflowers and manipulate it as an ingredient so it won’t be too hot or cold as to harm the user, but instead to make them sensitive to the foreign sensation. I know of a few people who have farms specifically made to attract these creatures so that they can not only be harvested, but also reproduced, along with other monsters. “ 

“ Hm… yes, this does sound favorable. I actually have the remains of a cryo whopperflower stored away somewhere. We could use that for the test runs. “ 

“ Alright then. How would we change those parts to control the intensity, though? Perhaps some numbing medication mixed in could work, no? “ 

“ We’ll have to be cautious about the amount we add. Temperature does indeed have an affect on the male genitalia, I’ve run multiple experiments to test that theory. I’ll need to find a female subject to test as well, though. “ He tapped his pencil onto his clipboard. “ Perhaps the Adventurer’s Guild could arrange that for me. “ 

“ That won’t be necessary. I’d be willing to test out your theory during my stay here. I feel that I could explain symptoms in a way you could understand as well. “ You looked at the chalkboard, then back at him. “ I have numbing medication in my case. One type is oral, the other would be applied to a wound in case of emergency. “ 

“ There’s no need for that, I have some stored away. I wouldn’t want you to use your personal items for this, anyway. You said you were willing to test it out, yeah? “ He put his clipboard and pencil aside again. 

“ Yes, you just need to tell me when. “ 

“ Would… right now be suitable? I came up with a lubricant an hour or two before you got here. It worked well on me, but my female counterpart is not only away, but probably wouldn’t be willing to be experimented on under any circumstances, so I wasn’t sure how it’d affect the female body. “ He walked over to one of his shelves, taking a labeled bottle that had a container similar to that of a shampoo bottle. 

You knew that he worked fast, but you never suspected that he’d be this quick with his work. 

“ Of course I can test it. Not here, though… Isn’t there somewhere a little less, how do I put it… Open? “ 

“ Would the tent be sufficient? I imagine that’s also one of the only places in Dragonspine where one could properly pleasure themselves. I prepared accordingly. “ 

“ Yeah, the tent is just fine… I’m assuming you’ll have to be present. “ Your cheeks flushed at the idea of Albedo watching you while you played with yourself. 

“ Naturally. Not only to record symptoms, but also to be there if anything wrong occurs. That isn’t very likely, though. Don’t worry too much about it. Come, I’ll take you to the tent. “ 

You nodded, grabbing your things and following after Albedo. He made sure to take a few sheets of paper to jot down the results. 

—-----------------------------------

It didn’t take too long to get to the tent. It was nearby, just as Albedo had told you. You walked in, surprised to see how nice it was inside. There was a bed and a couch inside, as well as a drawer and carpet among many other things. You imagined this is where Albedo slept, since most things seemed untouched. You put your suitcase down while Albedo turned to look at you. 

“ Please make yourself at home. I need you to be comfortable for the best results, afterall. “ He smiled at you, sitting down on the couch. 

“ Hm… I feel like the bed would be most comfortable for me. Is that okay? “ 

“ Of course. “ He watched you closely as you walked over to the bed, but stopped in front of it. 

“ That… means you’ll be watching me the entire time, doesn’t it? “ 

“ Not unless it affects your performance negatively. If you’d like, I could turn around and rely on audible cues, but it might make the results a bit more… unreliable, per say. “ 

“ It’s okay, I wouldn’t want to slow down the process. “ You began undressing, but paused when Albedo started walking over. He handed you the lubricant. 

“ You’re allowed to back out of this at any time, please don’t force yourself. “ You gave him a reassuring smile before he handed you the lubricant. “ Here you go. I’ll try not to get in the way. “ 

You placed the lubricant onto the night stand beside the bed before you continued undressing. You heard the bedsheets move while Albedo sat down. He needed to observe you closely, after all. You stayed with your back turned to him, starting by taking your shirt off teasingly slowly. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t want to be the only one getting aroused during this experiment.  You let your shirt fall to the ground, then slid your thumb underneath the hem of your pants, pulling them down to the floor and stepping out of them. You reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting the straps fall down your shoulders before letting it fall to the ground.  You slowly pulled down your panties, your face flushing a little. You couldn’t tell how Albedo was reacting to all of this, but your heart still skipped a beat with excitement at the thought that he was watching your every move. 

You turned around and reached for the lubricant before sitting down on the bed near the headboard, while Albedo was resting against the footboard. You spread your legs completely, making sure he could see everything. 

“ You need a view of everything, right? Does this work? “ 

“ Yes, that works just fine. I’m glad to see you’re taking your time. If you require my assistance, simply call out my name. “ You couldn’t help but smile at his statement, but you had to keep your eyes on the prize. 

You reached your hand down, sliding one of your fingers between your folds to reach your clit. You started off with small, quick circles. Your breathing started to fasten, but you weren’t exactly close yet. You planned on applying the lubricant once you were actually going to put your fingers inside, but you wanted to get in the mood first. It was growing increasingly difficult, though. You couldn’t help but notice his blue eyes as they stared at your figure, carefully examining every aspect of your actions and body.

The two of you made eye contact, but you quickly closed your eyes instead to play it off. You couldn’t help but imagine what it was like to feel his skin against yours. What would it feel like to have him above you, while he “assisted” you? Would he stare at you the same way? You opened your eyes again, grabbing the bottle of lubricant. You spread your lips before pouring it on your arousal, shivering at the harsh coldness. You put the bottle aside and reached back down, spreading the lube around your pussy evenly. You had never felt so sensitive to your own touch before, and while you touched yourself the only thing in your mind was Albedo. You felt so lewd about it, but you couldn’t help but wonder how exactly he tried the lubricant out himself. 

You put a finger inside you, covering your mouth to muffle your moans. Your eyes blurred for a moment, but when you regained focus, Albedo was right beside you. 

“ Please don’t hold back your voice, Y/N. My data won’t be accurate if you do so. ��

You looked up at him while he reached out to move your hand. “ Oh, please don’t let me interrupt you. “ You could feel your face flush while you continued to finger yourself, slightly closing your thighs. Your eyes widened when you felt Albedo caress your thigh before pulling it toward him, spreading your thighs apart. 

“ Remember, I need to see all of you, okay? “ You couldn’t help but let out a quiet moan when you felt his touch. He patted your head, caressing the side of your cheek. “ Good job, you’re doing great. “

Somehow, you mindlessly moaned out for Albedo, and didn’t even realize it until you saw him lean close to you. 

“ Yes? Do you need my help? “ You shivered as you felt his hand trace down your back.

“ I-... I want you to hold me, please… “ He seemed surprised at this, but he didn’t hesitate. He scooted you forward by the small of your back before sitting behind you. He pulled you closer, making you sit between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin in the crook of your neck. 

“ Is this sufficient? “ You simply laid back against his chest, obeying his orders from before and continuing to finger yourself. You felt his hand trace down your stomach, which he rubbed ever so lovingly. 

“ Hm… are you sure there aren’t any other ways to help you? “ He rested his hand on your folds, smiling against the flesh of your neck. You took your other hand to lay on top of his, applying some pressure to push his fingers between your folds. He didn’t move his fingers, though, and simply watched you closely. 

“ Stop teasing me, ‘bedo… “ You rolled back your head to look at him, to which he smiled at you. 

“ I’m not teasing. If you want me to do something to you, I’ll need you to tell me what to do to you… Where to touch, how to touch you… I’m no magician, I can’t tell what’s on your mind. “ 

“ Just… Touch me damn it. I’m- I’m yours. Do what you want. “ 

“ Okay, I’ll be gentle with you. I have birth control in the lab, you’ll have to take some later. “ He kissed your neck, and soon began rubbing his fingers against your clit. He seemed dissatisfied, though, and pulled away from you, which earned him a whimper. He took off his gloves, putting them on the nightstand. He wrapped his left arm around your waist, using his right arm to touch your clit again. He made small, slow circles. It almost felt sensual. He soon pulled away from you again to stand up on the floor. He started undressing at a similar pace you had before. 

“ You know, it’s funny that you said I was teasing you. Especially considering the fact that you were trying to strip tease me earlier. “ He turned around so his back was facing you, looking over his shoulder. “ Like this, yeah? I won’t lie, though, I enjoyed watching you. I think I’ll enjoy being up close and personal more, though. “ He finally got his pants and boxers off and turned to look at you, finally naked. He crawled onto the bed, pulling you closer to him by your thighs. He pushed you onto your side, which confused you. 

“ Your thighs… put them together tightly, okay? “ 

“ Mm… okay? “ You obeyed, putting your thighs together tightly. Albedo grabbed the bottle of lube, pouring some onto his cock. He shivered, letting out a shaky breath while he started to jerk himself off to spread it. Once he thought he had spread it enough, he scooted closer to you on the bed. He lifted your leg, pulling you closer to sandwich his cock between your thighs. He held you in pace while he began pulling back, then thrusting. You occasionally let out quiet moans when you felt his length rub against your clit. Albedo reached down to grasp the bedsheets on either side of your head, leaning down to kiss your collarbone. Instead, he bit down when he felt your hand reach down to caress his tip when it went past your thighs. 

“ Your body is so soft and plush, I can’t wait to be inside of you. “ Your face went red at this, your thighs squeezing together. He began quickening his thrusts, sucking on your neck while doing so. He quickly turned you over to lay on your back, spreading your legs. He sat up and watched you carefully while he jerked himself off, letting out a hitched moan and cumming on your stomach. You wiped some of it off your stomach, licking it off your fingers while you made eye contact with Albedo. He turned red, his length still hard. 

“ I suppose… This is a more efficient way to test how well the lubricant works. “ He spread the lube against your arousal with his tip, making sure it was evenly coated. He saw the excitement in your face and pulled away. 

“ Hey! That isn’t- That isn’t fair. “ You frowned at him, but he simply smiled at you before laying on his stomach, his head between your thighs. 

“ I thought it’d be better if you came before I put it in… I’d like to see how you taste, too. “ He moved his arms, locking them around your thighs. He dragged you closer to him, which surprised you. 

“ ‘Bedo… I’m starting to think this is more than something just for the project. “ You decided to tease him a little, sliding your hand between his locks. He kissed your clit, making you both jump and moan in surprise. He held you in place, though. 

“ Oh, don’t be too much of a downer… Judging by just how wet you are, you don’t mind that this isn’t entirely for research, hm?” You sighed, simply looking around the room out of embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong whatsoever- You were enjoying every bit of this. 

You squirmed when you felt him sucking on your clit directly, but he simply gripped your thighs and held you in place. He kissed your clit before pulling his face away, looking up at you. 

“ Stop squirming or I won’t touch you at all… “ He leaned toward your inner thigh, littering kisses and hickeys on them. “ And that wouldn’t be very pleasurable for either of us, now would it? “ 

“ ‘M sorry… “ You caught your breath, reaching out to touch his hair again. He leaned against your touch, and then turned to kiss your hand. “ It’s okay. Just be good for me, alright? “ 

“ I’ll be good, I swear. Just… touch me, please. “ You heard Albedo let out a soft laugh before he kissed your clit somewhat sensually. He let go of your legs, one of his hands moving to put two of his fingers inside you. You let out a sigh of relief, glad that he was finally touching you. He put his other arm under you, his hand spread across the small of your back. 

He looked up at you, most likely to make sure you were okay, then started moving his fingers in and out of you at a slow, steady pace. You let out occasional moans, but you were mostly breathing heavily. You felt Albedo curl his fingers, hitting just the right spot. You wrapped your legs around his neck so that you wouldn’t squirm very much, but it was getting increasingly difficult. Then, it happened. You screamed out for Albedo as he started thrusting his fingers into you at a brutal pace, nibbling on your clit. You pulled on his hair, which made you surprised to hear him moan at this. He reached out to your other hand, continuing his abuse of your pussy. You could hear your wetness combined with the lube slapping against the rest of his hands and your folds. 

“ How lewd… You’re sopping wet. I can’t imagine the state you’ll be in when I… nevermind, you’ll find out soon enough. “ He cut himself off, making you curious about what he planned on saying. You didn’t have much time to think about it though, especially when you felt him set a faster pace. You reached to grab his wrist, but he swatted your hand away. He lapped at and sucked your clit again, making you cry out his name. 

“ Albedo, Albedo- wait- I’m gonna cum- “ Albedo didn’t show any mercy, continuing to attack your clit. You arched your back, pulling on his hair. He stared up at your face while he continued to finger you, even going out of his way to hit your g-spot after you came. 

“ Ah, wait- waitwaitwait- Please, Albedo- “ Your body stayed tense. You didn’t get the opportunity to come down from your high, especially when he continued to finger you mercilessly. It didn’t take very long for you to cum all over again. You let out a small sob of pleasure. You’ve overstimulated yourself on your own before, but your heightened sensitivity along with Albedo’s touch was a completely different experience. He pulled away from you, sitting up while he hooked your legs around his waist. 

“ Hm… It really does seem as if the lube makes you more sensitive. Or perhaps you’re just a little bit of a slut. That’s alright, though… I don’t mind. “ Your face went red at his statement. You felt humiliated, but part of that was what turned you on. 

“ I’m… I’m not a slut. If I’m a slut, you’re a fuckboy. “ Albedo’s eyes widened for a moment. He stared down at you, but he soon laughed. 

“ Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that I’ll live up to your expectations. “ Albedo grabbed his length, positioning the tip at your entrance before pushing himself inside of you. He leaned down toward you, placing his hands on either side of your head, smirking down at you when he noticed the pleasure in your expression. He started with slow, hard thrusts that pushed you into the bed every time he bottomed out inside of you. You hadn’t been expecting it to feel like this, but you weren’t gonna complain. “ I’ll make you my slut. I want to be the only one to see you in such a vulgar state. “ You just nodded, as if agreeing to his proposal. He soon started to speed up, letting out moans and whimpers himself. You clawed at his back restlessly, arching your back slightly. In response, Albedo angled himself so that he’d hit as deep as possible, then held you in place while he hammered into you. He brought one of his hands to your lower stomach, using his thumb to caress your clit. You were getting so close, and Albedo showed no signs of stopping again. 

“ Albedo- I’m… I’m close- “ Albedo brought his face away from your neck, licking and kissing your body until he got to one of your nipplies. He promptly proceeded to ravage your boob, licking and biting your nipple. Eventually, the pleasure was too much for you, and you were brought to your peak again. Albedo didn’t stop, though. Instead, he lifted his head to look at you when you sobbed out that “it was too much”. He paused, which confused you. 

“ Wait, no, no- I didn’t want you to stop… “ You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his cheeks, almost as if to make amends. He let out a sigh of relief. 

“ Just hang in there until I finish, okay? Be good for me. I know you can take it. “ He kissed you before pulling away to suck on your breast again, then started thrusting. His pace began slow and gentle, but it escalated back to the pace he had before. Your walls clenched around him, making him moan whenever you did so. He bit down onto your nipple, speeding up the pace of his thrusts before being completely still inside of you. He let out an unruly, long moan while he finally reached his release balls deep inside of you. Your thighs trembled and your back arched even more, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He eventually let go of you, letting you fall onto the bed. He pulled out of you, watching his cum seep out of your hole when you clenched around nothing. You tried to desperately catch your breath, trying to relax. Something about this view just turned Albedo on, and you were surprised to see him jerking off his semi-hard cock to get it to full length again.

“ Wait- “ 

“ You’re so good for me, Y/N. You can take more, right? “ He caressed your inner thighs, making you shiver while he glared down at you. “ Tell me you can take more of me. “ 

“ I-... I can take more of you, Albedo. I promise… I promise I’ll be good, ‘kay? “ He smiled at this, hooking his hands under your legs and bringing them to your chest. He leaned onto your legs, making you bend awkwardly. You weren’t sure why he seemed to like this pose- Not until he thrusted inside of you, that is. Both you and him noticed just how deep inside of you he could get in this position, which was a pleasant surprise for Albedo. 

“ Hold onto your legs with your arms. Keep them in place for me, hm? “ You didn’t hesitate to obey, hooking your own hands under your legs to bring them closer to your body while he let go of them. You let your lower legs rest on his shoulders, looking at Albedo while he placed his hands at either side of your head. “ Good… You’re so good for me, Y/N. I’ll make sure you get your reward. “ Your head was fuzzy with pleasure, but you were still able to make out his praise. He started thrusting into you slowly, seeming to show you at least some sort of mercy. He stared down at you, smiling while he leaned down to kiss you. You didn’t resist at all, but you did bite down onto his lower lip when he suddenly went back to his monstrous pace all over again. You could tell that it was gonna be a few more rounds before he cut you some slack, especially when he came inside you and pulled out just to move you onto your stomach. You let out a weak moan when he pushed himself inside you again, his throbbing girth being ever so unforgiving. 

#genshin smut #genshin impact #albedo #albedo smut #afab reader #gender neutral pronouns #gender neutral reader #genshin impact smut

[timetravelassasin]

Missing?

Summary: Jason panics because he can't reach you.

A/N: Hello my lovelies, I am trying to write angst. I hope I did good with this one. I hope you enjoy it.

_______________________________________________________

Jason hadn't realized how much time had gone by until he checked his phone.

"Where are you," he sighed, looking at his computer screen.

The screen showed a map of the world. On the other screen showed your information.

"Y/N where are you and why are you not answering your phone," Jason said, continuing to search.

The two of you had gotten into a huge fight a couple days ago mostly it being his fault. He had started keeping secrets from you and had even started to distance himself. He did not realize that he was hurting you. He hated the last words he had told you and regretted ever saying them. He especially hated the fact that he had made you cry. He had never made you cry before and the thought of you in pain hurt him.

"Why don't you just leave! You'd rather be with my brothers than me," he yelled.

"Jay how can you say that? I'm trying to get along with them for you. I want them to like me so you don't have to choose between your family and myself. I was doing it for you," you said, tears streaming down your face.

"I don't care you are my girlfriend not there's. Why don't you just leave and be with them. I don't want you here," he yelled.

You had run out of the apartment that day and he didn't see you after that. He didn't even know how that fight started and why he was even mad at you. He hated that he had made you cry. He had never made you cry the entire time he had been with you and he regretted it.

"I'm sorry Y/N," he whispered, resting his head on the desk.

He could feel his heart ache for you and craved to have you in his arms. He hated fighting especially with you. Seeing your hurt and torn face hurt him more than any pain he had been in. He went back to searching and spent another day looking for you.

"Todd, what are you doing," Damian asked, walking into the cave.

"I got in a fight with Y/N and made her cry. I can't find her anywhere. Her phone is off and I can't trace her anywhere," Jason said, looking at the screen.

"Todd, Y/N is upstairs waiting for you," Damian said, confused.

"What," he said, turning around and ran out the cave.

He ran up the stairs two at a time. He pushed open the doors and ran to the living room. Sure enough you were standing there your back to him looking around at the pictures Alfred had hung up.

"Y/n," he said, softly walking up to you.

"Jay, hey there wait are you ok why are you crying," you asked, walking up to him and placing your hands on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I love you so much and I am so sorry. I was wrong and should not have told you all that stuff," he cried, pulling you into his arms.

"It's ok Jay. I forgive you. I'm sorry that I made you feel like I'd rather be with your brothers than you," you said.

"I couldn't reach you at all. I called your phone and it said your phone was not available. Your work wouldn't give me anything. I was scared," he said, pulling away.

"Oh, I had to go home for a while my mom needed help with the shop because dad got hurt on the job and needed to be on bedrest. My phone broke on my way home and did not have the time to get a new one. I told Damian to tell you I was going home. Did he not tell you," you asked wondering.

"No, he did not tell me anything," Jason said, turning to Damian.

"No, I did tell you but you only yelled at me because of it," Damian said, walking away.

"Ugh, I'm sorry how can I make this up for you," he said, moving his hands to your cheeks.

"Dinner at Bat Burger and Dessert at that ice cream shop you told me about," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"Yes, anything for you. I promise not to ever yell at you again," he chuckled, pressing a kiss on your lips.

#timetravelassasin fics #jason todd x reader #red hood #batboys #batman #batfamily

[12th-shavie]

So I've been playing Radiant Historia Perfect Chronology lately and I have many thoughts that plague me

Spoilers under the cut

All of this is from reaching both basic and true ending, the PC ending with the singularity, all side quests, possible history quests and no second run with clear data for the extra ending. Also I played it on friendly difficulty and it's a good thing I touch at the end of my thoughts.

I mostly want to ramble about the different characters in the game, in somewhat of an order so I'll start with my dear boy Stocke.

I really liked Stocke. He's not particularly chatty, but we get to see a lot of what's going on his mind through the story, including every decision he has to make that can lead to a bad ending and he ends up very well-rounded by the time of the ending. He clearly grows to care a lot about everyone around him, which makes his fate particularly cruel when it's only because he made all these connections that he can be the sacrifice, but it's also the reason why his sacrifice is such a heavy blow for the others. His status as a man whose soul hasn't been his for a long time unbeknownst to him heightens the value of his growth as a person and as a friend, showing how he could still grasp the opportunity to see value in the world beyond himself and his own lifespan (that was technically over since quite some time). He's willing to use the power at his disposal to try to get the best outcome for anyone he can help, even when it seemingly doesn't do much for the world at large, he's just really helpful. Stocke is also very funny to me in the many ways he deals with his time travel. Especially in the ways he casually transports a bunch of items through the timelines, and never explains how he knows information he has absolutely no way of knowing at the point in time he's in. He also doesn't seem to question the fact that there's a big part of his life missing, or at least that's what I understand the Ernst memory wipe as, and seems to just adapt to whatever the timeline has in store for him at any given time. But he's also a Sad boy™ and deserves the world for everything he's been put through. Especially having to kill Rosch that one time.

Ah, Rosch. My poor sweet bulky boy whom I really tried to use every time he was available but it seems it was never enough and even in post-ending he's not quite caught up. The mana spring dlc also shows just how big his armor truly compared to his actual body and I respect the huge suit of armor that makes his silhouette a little silly. I wasn't a big fan of his romance with Sonja at first until the alternate history in Celestia and his bigger arc, where we get to see some more of them that made me appreciate them more (and Sonja upgrading his Gauntlet has to be some of my favourite interactions between her, Rosch and Stocke).

Raynie and Marco are cute as characters Stocke is close to but I really couldn't care less about Raynie's romantic subplot, or her in general. My interest in her never rose higher than my interest in her gameplay, which is thankfully fun to me so it doesn't feel like she's wasting my time. Marco was a little better, especially with the Mimel sidequest where he shows another facette of himself in the bad ending where he goes nuts and I respect that. But ultimately, they're only involved at first because Heiss made it so, and neither their past not their relationship to Stocke or the others was delved into all that much, which is kind of a shame given how present they are during the game.

Which bring me to Heiss. Heiss' first appearance just threw me in a loop of "wow, this guy is so obviously evil but he called Stocke his best boy so now I really want the game to surprise me with a turn of events where he's not one of the Big Bad™. I really wish I could trust this guy in the slightest but that character design is screaming EVIL very loudly". He then proceeds to turn out to be the main villain. Except he still very much cares about Stocke, and always has, even when his other intentions are very nefarious. And even at the very end he still cares about his favourite nephew. And I'm a sucker for that kind of character development, so needless to say Heiss now lives rent-free in one of my mental tabs that run in the background on my thoughts. He does have one portrait where he looks down, in a content but sad way, as if reminiscing of a happier past and it really gets me every time. I did not expect to care so much about the guy, yet his character arc really did it for me. From the bitterness cranked up to eleven by the Black Chronicle's past owners and his huge soft spot for Stocke to his own actions of granting Stocke a chance at a non-royal, non-sacrifice life that he himself never got as Heinrich being the key to the only positive future there was for the world ? Gorgeous arc ! Until the true end where he just never gives up on the only thing he truly cared about, Stocke's future. The PC ending where he joins forces with Stocke, Nemesia and the others was also a satisfying moment, seeing how he's reminded of when he went on adventures with Ernst (again with that softer portrait I am very weak to), along with one of the possible histories where you get the key to his desk (which had plagued me from the moment I tried to snoop around his office much earlier in the game) and it contains an old portrait of Heinrich and Ernst, probably the only trace had kept from that part of his past, showing that despite all the scheming and lack of remorse on other fronts as the main villain, he's still an old man whose life was never completely his own, and who tries to break the cycle for the one person he cared about who was condemned to the same fate. In other words, Heiss is absolutely a magnificent bastard but also very human underneath and I am not immune to that.

On the other hand, a character I had to warm up to gradually was Eruca (I've seen her design from the DS version and I feel robbed, that little sprite had so much more personality !). She starts out kinda generic, as the princess stuck under the terrible reign of her stepmother who secretly leads her dead brother's rebel group, and I only started garnering interest when she joined the party and was armed with a gun. I had gotten a gun before but had no idea they were for her, and it was extremely refreshing to see how she fared in combat despite her lower availability. Her relationship with Stocke was also made so much better by that one moment around the end where it goes back to their first time meeting in standard history and shows exactly what she was dealing with when interacting with Stocke, knowing full that he not only was her dead brother living with a borrowed soul, but also had yet to be aware of his role in the grand scheme of things. I was afraid the whole ritual bit would get in the way of her character development but it didn't and she ended up being one of my favourite characters in both story and gameplay. Ice magic nukes are very nice.

Aht is adorable and I knew she'd be in my top three from the moment I saw her in the animated opening in which she gave me some Just a little guy™ vibe which is sufficient for me to be interested. Her voice acting was also very endearing (then again all of the voice acting worked really for me) and she was just as fun in gameplay with her trap set-ups and big combo potential. And then the story dropped all sorts of hints that she clearly was aware of something very big and plot-relevant and that really makes her go from Babsie™ to Tell me your secrets you adorable little scoundrel™ and that's absolutely my jam.

I wish I had a stronger opinion on Gafka. He's pretty neat, I like the combos he brings to the tables, the way he learns additional skills with Bergas makes sense to me and is cool, but I wish his character spoke to me more. The one thing I would say about him is that he has this trait where he has a hard time distinguishing humans and uses nicknames based on other visible parts of them, but does eventually come to recognize Stocke with his name instead of "Red One" and that's a new bit of development he got there.

I wish Viola was playable. Girl's got so much potential with a title like the Valkyrie but only gets so little story presence, but she's a highlight of every scene she's in and that's fine by me. I find her design very soft yet powerful and inspiring, as befits a character with her renown and charisma.

I can also say I really appreciate Raul, he's not the most appealing character at first, but the genuine effort he clearly puts in supporting however he can from the back lines and devising all of the larger scale tactics and stuff really elevates him as guy who's trying to make the best out of a bad situation where he can't turn his back on people who need help he can provide after not opposing Hugo more directly even though he suspected him to be up to no good.

Speaking of Hugo, he has me a little confused on what exactly his motives were, where his loyalty lied and what he was really trying to accomplish, especially regarding Noah and the possible histories surrounding him. I'm not a fan of letting him around with Noah and not facing more consequences for his actions. Noah himself is also a little weird, being both this mysterious prophet who just wants what's best for his people and this calm guy who seems to know more than he lets on but hasn't really tried to stop Hugo or find another way to reach the people without his name being exploited. I wonder how he could've affected the timeline if he didn't just vanish from the public eye after the possible history that saves his life in the alternate history.

Dias and Selvan are most definitely meant to be read as an evil power couple. You can't throw in a sidequest where it is shown they get a hotel room in the middle of the day and Selvan immediately resorting to threatening to kill a little girl the instant he sees Stocke menacing Dias, and not tell they're not in some kind of very close relationship that is never described as friendship, not even once. Also they'd seemingly betray anyone in a heartbeat except each other and I will read the subtext as I please. There is also that one line from Selvan in alternate history when Dias is dead and he says something along the lines of "But now Dias is slain, and I am broken". And that's without mentioning the possible history where they didn't set Protea up as queen but Dias directly, and an NPC says that "Dias wears the crown, but Selvan might as well sit on the throne" and I'll gladly interpret it as Selvan sitting on the throne with Dias on his lap. Moving on.

Friendly difficulty is a godsend that should be in many other games. I love being able to progress rapidly through the combat heavy parts of the story and only be forced into important fights which I can appreciate without wearing down my gameplay experience. I cannot show grateful I am to be able to enjoy the story to the fullest with no downsides in my opinion. It even gives me a reason to someday try out the DS version to experiment with combat a little more, and also see the game in all its original stylized glory (mostly Stocke's grittier self, Eruca's pixie cut, Heiss balding forehead that makes him less magnificent of a bastard and Dias looking less evil for some reason)

I also intend to finish RHPC with my clear data to see that final final ending, just to see what it brings to the table.

#radiant historia #radiant historia perfect chronology #ramblings and musings #I must scream into the void #I am rereading myself and damn these sentences are way too long for their own good #TLDR : radiant historia is a good game and has good characters in it

[doriana-gray-games]

Not a pirate here, but maybe my input can help too see things from a different perspective.

I think that IF authors opening patreon/ko-fi is great, they deserve it for all the work they're doing--even if I personally can't support them in it. Imo it's especially acceptable if it's mostly early access stuff or some snippets here and there.

What I've also seen though, and which is a personal no-go for me, are details/lores which may or may not be important to the game itself that you otherwise get no access too. Even worse if it gets mentioned in any way in the main game (which I also saw already in a game).

It's just a punch to the face to those that may want to support on patreon but don't have the means.

Is it okay to pirate in that case? I don't think so, but I don't wanna judge that, nor is it my place to do so.

But authors putting important information behind an extra paywall discourages me greatly to even buy their game in the end at all because I think it's mean to treat the people only buying the main game as lesser. Which it feels like in that case. I will only read the demo then and maybe wait for a huge discount or something. Again, this is not about fun little snippets, AUs or whatnot. This is about essential pieces of information only available on patreon.

I hadn’t seen or thought of that—but that’s a good thing to keep in mind 🥰👍

For anon: have you tried contacting the authors about this? I doubt they want their supporting or paying (tho paying less) customers to feel that way. I imagine there could be arguments on the other side too, but I also think there’s room for a compromise there ❤️ good luck!

#Modding/piracy discourse

[astronomodome]

what is blaseball

Ok so first of all thank you for sending in this ask because it gives me an opportunity to infodump about something that's really important to me... Blaseball! There's no way I can fully explain the game or what it meant to people but I can absolutely try!

Now, you may ask (and you did), what is Blaseball? Blaseball (with an L) was an absurdist eldritch horror online baseball simulator hosted at blaseball.com. Each week, 24 teams with names like the Canada Moist Talkers or the Atlantis Georgias consisting of simulated players with names like Brisket Friendo or Jessica Telephone would play game after game for the enjoyment of fans, who mainly gathered on discord to watch and cheer on their team together. Fan interaction consisted of betting on games and using the currency (peanuts) gathered to vote in elections at the end of each week, which determined new rules and game mechanics to add into the simulation.

Eventually, several godlike entities (including a giant peanut, a capitalist coin, and a friendly squid known as the Hall Monitor) would make themselves known and add commentary in between games, try to get the fans to pick a certain option, threaten the audience for picking the 'wrong' option, and so on. Meanwhile, fans would regularly screw with the system as much as they could, finding weird ways to bend the game to their advantage and creating ridiculous scenarios.

One of the most iconic events from the early seasons of Blaseball involved working around the mechanic of Incineration, in which players could randomly get Incinerated by rogue umpires during games and sent to the Hall of Flame, where they were 'killed' and unable to play. The fans were able to manipulate a Blessing (a type of vote during an Election) that would send the #14 most liked player in the Hall of Fame (distinct from the Hall of Flame, fans could give peanuts to players to rank them higher) to the team that won the Blessing. Fans carefully maneuvered Jaylen Hotdogfingers, the first player to be Incinerated, into the #14 spot. When the Election was over, Jaylen was pulled out of the Hall of Flame and back into the game... with the tragic consequence that they now had a 'debt' modifier on them that would make players who played against them more likely to be Incinerated themselves. I don't know, Balseball is weird. But it's this weirdness that made it so much fun.

The fan space of Blaseball was hugely creative, mostly because the site itself was very minimalist and there wasn't much information canonically available about the players. Thus, fans were able to pretty much build their favorite characters to be whatever they want, and they did so. Every team in Blaseball is its own subcommunity with traditions and extensive fanon of its own, and that is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in a fandom space, honestly. I highly highly recommend checking out the fan-run wiki for just a glimpse at the absolutely massive amount of fan lore that the community came up with. It's this that truly made Blaseball the cultural phenomenon that it was and I'm proud to say that it inspired my art and my creative process in huge ways.

Now, you might be wondering why I've been referring to Blaseball in the past tense. Well... despite regular dev updates since the ending of the second 'Era' (story arc, basically) and a faltering attempt at starting a third, on June 2, 2023, the dev team suddenly announced that it would be shutting Blaseball down permanently, citing financial issues. This came as a shock to fans, who had been keeping the fandom alive on discord and elsewhere for months with no sign of anything too bad from the dev side of things. We were given a few hours' notice to say goodbye before the discord was archived. It was a really difficult time for a lot of us to see the foundation of a whole community just kind of vanish into the wind, but many folks carried on in their own side discords and on tumblr and twitter where regular fan spaces are. I was pretty far from fan spaces by that time, but the news still affected me a lot. I think it's super important that I keep its spirit alive in the best way I know how: by talking about it and being annoying on tumblr.com. I hope I can keep its spirit alive in everything I create. :)

A few more things that anyone interested in Blaseball and its legacy should definitely check out:

@waveridden's google doc A Brief History of Blaseball, which explains the details of Blaseball much better than I ever could in an easy-to-understand way.

The official Blaseball Recap, in which a put-upon Anchor gives a chaotic summary of the events of Blaseball and gets progressively less sane in the process. Genuinely a fun watch even if you don't care about the rest of Blaseball.

The Garages, an incredible band (idk their genre they just do what they want and thats based) composed of Blaseball fans who sing songs about it. Genuinely really really good. You don't need to know about Blaseball to listen to them but it does make things make more sense. I have an art project that's almost done that is in reference to their music so look out for that also. :P

#i will never ever stop thinking & talking about blaseball. riv everyone but especially my bbg Kelvin Drumsolo and the rest of the Mechs #if you follow me for mcyt hiiiiiiiiiiiii look at blaseball aka the life series if it wasnt real #blaseball #astro speaks #astro asks #astro's garages brainrot #<-sure that can go here too