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#mostly bc i barely remember canon him
bythepen98 · 7 months
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Severus 🐍
Aside from Harry and Hermione, he is arguably the next character whose pov I read about the most (gen or ship wise). Can't help that he's too interesting of a character for me to ignore when written right.
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togenabi · 6 months
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the promised knight
knight!roronoa zoro x princess!reader
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♡— after a lifetime apart, zoro finds his way back to you
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word count♡— 8.7k (screams into the void)
genre♡— royalty au, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, slow burn bc a lot of things happen, but there's fluff bc I need there to be
content notes♡— fem!reader wears dresses, mentions of death and grief, very plot heavy, kuina and mihawk are here, canon-typical violence, original side characters, no use of y/n, proofread(ish), inaccurate royalty things, inaccurate chemistry/poisons/acids, yes I got the name florentia from ill be the matriarch
also on♡— ao3
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author's note♡— quick explanation!: a regent has no right to the throne, they're just someone stepping in temporarily while the next monarch is absent or unable to execute their powers. happy reading!!
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Your happiest years were when everyone was together.
Those were the days you’d sneak out of your lessons to go play in the training grounds. You’d find your best friends arguing about something or other, fighting with wooden swords and chasing each other around.
Kuina and Zoro did their best to include you in whatever game they were playing. You found it all good fun, even if you were mostly being rescued or hidden away somewhere. The proud smiles on their faces when they saved you always made the wait for them worth it.
“Why do I have to play the bad guy?” A young Zoro whines, frowning deeply with shoulders slumped. His wooden sword hangs lazily in his hand, pointed to the ground. 
Opposite him, Kuina’s blade was up, stable and correct with proper posture. “Because we agreed I would save the princess today!”
You remember sending Zoro a small smile, trying to reassure him, “You can save me next time, Zoro. I promise.”
Zoro complained, but gave his all acting as a bandit out to rob you. You and Kuina would run into the meadow—hands held in each other’s—squealing and laughing. You’d always end up collapsed together; among the grass and the flowers. They would cheer and scream into the sky, happy that the great knights protected their princess once again.
But that same meadow is now covered with a blanket of melancholy. The colors aren’t as vibrant as they were back then. Flowers no longer bloom like they did. The children’s laughter has been replaced by a deafening silence.
Everything changed when Kuina died.
She was hit by a stray arrow, they said. They called it a tragic accident. 
More sadness only seemed to follow after she was gone. Zoro left without a word, abandoning his training, and you along with it. Your mother, Queen Florentia, passed due to an illness a few months after that. In a blink of an eye, you lost everything back then.
The large doors to your chambers slam shut, breaking you from your train of thought. The thud echoes into every corner before fading into noiselessness once more. 
A maid rushes in, completely out of breath and practically stumbling towards you. “Your Highness!” She gasps. Waving a hand, you gesture for her to calm down.
“Selma,” You pour her some water in a glass. It’s strange to see your personal maid so distressed. “What did you find?”
Practically inhaling the water, she places a hand over her heart before explaining, “You were right, Your Ladyship. The commander informed me that several knights had poison hidden in their quarters.”
Her eyes trail to the glass she’s holding, then to the pitcher. Selma’s face becomes appalled as it sinks in that you had poured her a drink. You cut her off before she can make a fuss about it.
“Never mind all that.” There are more pressing matters than decorum right now. “What else did Mihawk say? Have the knights been apprehended?”
“No, my Lady.” Selma retrieves a transparent vial from her pocket. “The commander said there's a chance the poisons were planted. Trustworthy men could have been framed… He discourages you from trusting any of them at all.”
The vial is small, barely larger than your thumb. To an untrained eye, it looks like nothing is there. You hold it up to the window, letting the sun’s setting rays shine through the glass.
There it is. A near-invisible, lavender sheen in liquid. The queen regent’s signature poison.
“Damn it all.” You sigh, falling into an armchair. 
It’s common knowledge that most of the people are loyal to Queen Regent Cassiopeia. Not to you, the rightful heir to the throne.
Ever since she took the position after your mother’s death, she’s been doing everything in her power to discredit you. Though she's not in the official line of succession, her goal is to become queen by any means necessary.
You’ve only been able to hold on for so long because there are still people loyal to your mother, like Commander Mihawk. However, it will take only one slip up for your standing to collapse. Cassiopeia knows this, and you suspect that she plans to completely ruin you at the upcoming knighting ceremony.
On a paneled wall in your room, encased in an ornate golden frame, hangs a portrait of Queen Florentia. The gold reminds you of the gilded dagger she gave you as a child. 
Subconsciously, your hand moves to rest over your pocket; where the dagger is hidden under your skirt. What would your mother have done in this situation?
You scan the painting as if the image would respond. It doesn’t, but your eyes settle on the necklace she’s wearing. It was her most prized possession, and she had promised to give it to you when you were older, but it’s sadly lost to time.
The vial grows heavy in your fist. Your mother would stop at nothing until Cassiopeia is defeated, so that’s what you’ll set out to do.
“Selma, get me some ink and parchment.” You order, feeling more determined. “I have a plan.”
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Dracule Mihawk burned the note as soon as he finished reading it. Your idea was brilliant, if only a little complicated to execute. 
Cassiopeia will demand you choose a personal knight during the ceremony. Assuming all the knights are loyal to the queen regent, none of them would be a safe choice.
So, you asked Mihawk to hire a skilled fighter to pose as a knight. Someone whose loyalty cannot be bought. Immediately, he knew who to recruit. Though he warned you that you might not find the man… agreeable.
“I don’t care.” You replied stubbornly. “I can’t afford to be picky. Just make sure that he won’t kill me in my sleep.”
Mihawk muses that he might be killed by you in his sleep. Because in a shady, run-down tavern, he sits beside a familiar green-haired swordsman nursing a drink at the bar.
“Fancy seeing you here, commander.” Zoro spits out the title in disgust.
“It seems that some things never change.” Mihawk hums. “You’re still in the same place as you were when we last fought.”
“And your legend ends with you kissing up to that false queen.” Disappointment practically drips from his tone.
“And here you are,” There’s an amused glint in the knight commander’s eye. “...still not able to beat me, Roronoa Zoro.”
Zoro’s jaw clenches in frustration. He breathes out deeply, “What do you want, old man?”
“Join my knights.”
Scoffing, Zoro can’t believe his ears. Is this guy serious? “I’m no knight. Not anymore.”
“Are you sure about that?” Mihawk tests. “The princess needs someone not easily dissuaded.”
At the mention of you, Zoro freezes. He squints at the commander as it dawns on him, “You don’t serve that Cassiopeia bitch.”
“Obviously.”
“But why did you become commander only after Queen Florentia died?” Zoro asks. “Everyone thought you were bought off.”
“That’s besides the point.” Mihawk hisses. “I know you’ve been wanting to make it up to the princess. I’m giving you a chance to do that on a silver platter.”
Zoro stays quiet, eyes watching the alcohol ripple in his glass. He’s not drunk enough for this discussion. And he meant what he said, that he’s not a knight. That dream died with Kuina, and he chose to pursue less honorable ways to become stronger.
It’s funny how Mihawk, who was an outlaw, traded his jacket for a suit of armor. And now, he's trying to act righteous. But some things are just—
“It’s not too late to change things.” Mihawk attempts to persuade him, calmer this time. “Something tells me you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
Shaking his head, Zoro can’t believe this man is talking like he knows him. “What do you know about regret?”
When the commander doesn’t respond, Zoro turns to see Mihawk’s face, a grave expression marks his features.
“I know far too much, I’m afraid.”
Zoro studies him for a moment longer, curious as to what he meant—but he doesn’t dare ask. Only an idiot would test Dracule Mihawk. 
This master swordsman, whom he’s looked up to for so many years, has changed drastically. Perhaps everyone has. It makes Zoro wonder how much you might’ve changed in the years he’s been gone.
You. He’s—there’s so much he wants to say. So much he wants to ask… but does he have the right to? 
Who is he kidding? He doesn’t. 
And yet, Zoro can’t help but wonder if he passes on this opportunity and regrets it, would he spend the rest of his life wishing he could make up for it?
After downing his drink, Zoro slams the glass on the bar counter.
“What do I need to do?”
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Selma assists you with your hair and makeup on the day of the ceremony. She’s practically buzzing as she flutters around you. It’s nice that she’s still enthusiastic about things like these, even when dangers lurk in the shadows.
“You look stunning, Your Ladyship!” She gushes, adjusting the different layers of your dress so that it falls on you perfectly. “A vision, you are. Just like Queen Florentia.”
“Thank you.” You respond gratefully, despite not feeling as sure and confident as your mother was. Would that change, if you were to become queen?
A knock sounds on your door. Selma rushes to answer it, and lets Mihawk into your chambers. He steps in, but remains by the entryway.
“You look lovely, princess.” The commander bows to you in greeting. “I was instructed to escort you once you’re ready.”
Nodding, you approach him and hold onto his arm. “Let us be on our way.”
Keeping your face carefully neutral, you whisper to Mihawk under your breath, “Will you really not let me know the knight’s name? How am I supposed to know who to appoint?”
“You’ll know.” Mihawk pats your hand reassuringly. “Without a doubt, you’ll know. I just hope you’re not too hard on him.”
You side-eye him. “He’s not a convict or something, is he?”
Mihawk presses his mouth shut. This bastard, is he trying not to laugh? “You might actually prefer a convict over him.” 
That pulls a frown out of you that you cannot contain. What on earth is that supposed to mean? Is the man that bad? How are you supposed to mentally prepare with such vague warnings?
All thoughts of the mystery knight fade into the back of your mind, however, when you and Mihawk make your entrance at the throne room. 
The extravagant hall is decorated to the nines. Flags of different family crests hang from the ceiling. Flowers bloom at every window sill. You smile at it all, at your people—but it fails to reach your eyes. It’s difficult to truly smile when Cassiopeia stands dangerously close to your mother’s throne.
You curtsy when you reach the steps, one hand still on Mihawk’s arm as the fabric of your skirt dips onto the floor. You hear murmurs of approval from the ministers in the front row, pleased to see the good relationship between the princess and queen regent.
But they don’t see through your gloves, how your grip on your skirt is tense and far too tight. They don’t see how Cassiopeia’s smile is truly a smirk when you lower your head to her.
“Lovely to have you here, darling.” She says, and you fight the urge to laugh. ‘Lovely’ would be if she accepted her place and let go of her greed. 
Mihawk guides you to the smaller throne on the left. This has been your seat since you were born. If Cassiopeia had her way, it would be your seat until the end of your days.
She glides to the center of the dais, the train of her excessive dress flows like a river after her. She stands; graceful, powerful and smiling—but she will never be happy until she can sit on the throne and wear your mother’s crown.
Whatever it takes, you will find a way to stop her.
“Welcome to the long-awaited knighting ceremony.” Cassiopeia addresses the audience. “It is an honor to have the kingdom’s finest pledge to serve and protect us.”
The ceremony proceeds to speeches from several dignitaries. Mihawk delivers a short yet intense declamation about the knightage being the greatest honor; and hands the queen regent an elaborate, bejeweled sword.
“These warriors before us today are hereby called forward to receive Knighthood. The kingdom will forever be grateful for your service.” Cassiopeia proclaims.
Attentively observing the knights lined up, you keep an eye out for the one Mihawk recruited for you. One at a time, Cassiopeia announces their name before tapping their shoulders with the ornamental blade.
You grow restless as the line dwindles. Frustrated, you throw questioning looks at the commander’s direction. He skillfully avoids your gaze. The nerve.
When only about five men are left, you begin to study them all and weigh your options. Perhaps you should pick someone with a smaller build, so that you can have a better chance of escaping? You also spotted someone who appeared clumsy. If you were to outsmart him, your odds of surviving weren’t so bleak.
But then—dramatically, as if in slow motion—the great doors to the throne room opened with a loud, booming sound. Everyone turned as light poured into the hall.
A swordsman makes his entrance. His armor is unassuming, but the three blades at his side demand attention. He wears a helmet over his head, but even after so much time, you’d know those eyes anywhere.
Mihawk was right. You would have preferred a convict—or maybe some rogue, or a thief who would rob you blind. You would have preferred anyone over Roronoa Zoro.
You thought you’d never see him again, but he’s here, marching towards the end of the line. You gape at him, feeling too many emotions all at once. Why is he here? Why now?
Mihawk intercepts Cassiopeia before she can question Zoro’s identity. “Forgive me, queen regent. This young man ran late due to an errand I sent him out on.” 
How brilliant of him. Cassiopeia hates unexpected interruptions, but would never express her frustrations openly with so many people watching.
It’s amusing to see her grin and bear it. “That’s… quite alright, commander. I’m glad he made it before the end of the ceremony.”
When only Zoro remains to be appointed, you stand and call for the queen regent’s attention.
“Should he accept, this man shall be my personal knight.” You declare as Zoro’s gaze meets yours.
“What of your decision, knight?” Cassiopeia asks. Zoro nods, and the queen regent’s gaze sharpens. She understands that something is amiss, but passes the decorated blade to you without a word.
Back when you were children, you used to dream of this moment together. Kuina and Zoro would kneel before you on the grass beneath a shining sun, pledging their unwavering loyalty as you tap their shoulders with a stick.
You’re no longer children, but as Zoro kneels before you now, you still feel like a child all the same. Your clothes feel too big. The throne room is too vast; the ceiling too high. The sword is too heavy in your hands as you raise it.
“Roronoa Zoro. I hereby dub thee into the honorable order of knights as my chosen protector.” The blade lands on his shoulder—his right first, then the other. You pray to the stars that no one notices your hold quivering.
“Arise, Sir Zoro, and be recognized.”
You’re no longer children, but you’re still here. Playing a different sort of game.
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Mihawk, the wise man that he is, makes himself scarce after the ceremony. You’re left to awkwardly journey back to your chambers with Zoro in tow. He doesn’t speak a word the entire time, but you can feel his eyes burning a hole through the back of your head. 
Selma is there when you get back, your usual afternoon refreshments prepared. She approaches you, but stops short when she sees Zoro.
“Leave us.” You tell her. She obeys, albeit reluctantly—looking back over her shoulder more than once as she exits.
After the door closes shut, the outside world feels a million miles away; making the air feel tense. You hastily take off your gloves, the fabric suddenly feels constricting against your skin. Every fiber of your being wants to scream at him.
Roronoa Zoro. Your best friend who had left all those years ago. You don’t even know where to start. 
Maybe throwing something at him will make you feel better. 
You throw one of your gloves. The fabric hits his chest before falling pathetically. 
“Seriously?” Zoro frowns at you, unimpressed. You throw the other one. It meets the same fate.
Grumbling under his breath, Zoro takes off his helmet. It vexes you how you subconsciously hold your breath until you see his face.
You huff skeptically, “Why are you here?”
“Mihawk said you needed help.” He answers with a shrug, causing his armor clink. 
After a breath, he speaks cautiously, “I didn’t know things had gotten this bad.”
“How could you have known?” You bite back, “You left, Zoro.”
In a sense, you understand why Mihawk chose him. You asked for someone who wouldn’t kill you in your sleep, and Zoro—at least, the one you knew—definitely wouldn’t.
Some (rational) part of your brain is telling you to keep quiet and accept his help. With Cassiopeia planning a mutiny, time is something you don’t have a lot of. 
But your heart still feels angry and hurt when you see his—stupidly handsome—face. The years just had to treat him well, didn’t they?
“I’m thankful for your help,” You admit disgruntledly. “But I’m not happy about it.”
Zoro calls your name. It makes your heart ache a bit, but you hold a hand up to silence him. 
“Please, just—I need time to process this, Zoro.” Turning away from the knight, your eyes find the window. The sunset paints the meadow in deep oranges and blues. It doesn’t make you feel any better.
“...We’ll talk tomorrow.” You promise, your tiredness evident from your tone.
Zoro lingers, hesitating. But he doesn’t push you. You hear his armor shift as he bows before he leaves.
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That night, Zoro stands guard outside your door. It’s good that no one else is around, it allows him to think in peace. About you.
The last time Zoro saw you, you were a small thing, getting dirt on the edge of your skirt. When he saw you today, sullying even the path you walked on felt like a crime. 
He knew you would be mad. He had prepared himself to be yelled at. Maybe he thought you would cry. How much you went through didn’t really sink in until he saw how exhausted you were. 
All the things he wanted to say, every apology and excuse, fade into nothing. The first thing he wants to tell you is how thankful he is that you’re still alive. It doesn’t matter that you stay mad at him forever, he’ll protect you for just as long.
Footsteps sound through the dim hallway. Zoro rests a hand on his blades, ready to fight back anyone who poses a threat. A knight he’s not acquainted with approaches, his steps staggering just a bit. The man carries a bottle of alcohol.
“Hey! New guy!” The stranger bellows. “This ’ere is a little something we prepared for ya, since yous didn’t eat dinner with us.” Zoro makes a mental note that they’ve been watching him.
“Take it, take it.” The knight tries to shove the bottle into Zoro’s hands. At the last second, Zoro spots a knife the man hides behind his back.
Quick on his feet, Zoro jabs the man’s neck, causing him to stumble. The knight charges at him, but Zoro effortlessly dodges. Grabbing the knight’s shoulder, Zoro slams his head onto the stone wall.
The bottle clatters to the floor as his opponent collapses, looking up at him in fear. Picking up the glass, Zoro sniffs at its contents. It’s laced with some sort of sedative. 
Zoro pries the knight’s jaw open before pouring the drugged beverage into his mouth. The amber liquid spills. The man coughs, gurgling and struggling in vain until he slumps onto the ground.
Observing the bottle inquisitively, Zoro shakes his head before dropping it again. What kind of amateurish attempt was this? Is the queen regent testing his skills? 
If anything, all this managed to do was—Zoro starts, turning to your door in alarm—…divert his attention.
Not a second later, he kicks down your door. The elaborately carved wood falls from its hinges, dust clouds billow once it crashes on the previously spotless tiles of your room.
You’re fighting off three large strangers clad in black, a dagger in your hand. Zoro tries not to think about how your eyes softened in relief when they landed on him as he cuts down one of the intruders. Maybe you still care for him a little.
“Took you long enough!” Or not.
“I’m here now, aren’t I?” He grunts back, slashing his sword at someone charging towards you. Zoro only realizes the deeper meaning to his words when you make a face. 
“Don’t make being late a habit, Zoro!” Stabbing an intruder’s side, you quip at him, “You and your dramatic entrances, I swear.”
Zoro bites back a grin. He missed you more than you’ll ever know. 
After taking down one of the intruders, you hide in your wardrobe as Zoro deals with the rest.
It would be smart to lock the door. Barricade it, so that no one can get to you on the off chance Zoro is defeated. But you don’t. You keep the door ajar to watch everything unfold. The way he fights is a captivating sight.
Look at him. Your knight in lackluster armor. Protecting you like how you always talked about as kids. He’s wielding two blades, one for each perpetrator still standing. You blink in surprise when you make out the third, sheathed blade. Kuina’s.
The more you examine him, the more you see how different he seems. He carries himself more confidently, unlike that boy who whined about roles, responsibilities and challenges. 
You also see how gruff he’s become. He’s grown stronger, for sure, but you get the sense that he’s closed himself off from the world. Perhaps the years weren’t as kind to him as you'd thought.
The last intruder lets out a pitiful cry as Zoro knocks him unconscious.
“I’ll tie them up and let Mihawk deal with them in the morning.” Zoro says, pausing to breathe for a moment before dragging the men out by their feet.
Emerging from your wardrobe, you become dismayed at the sight of your room in such a state. “Did you really have to kick down the door?” You groan.
Surprisingly, Zoro blanks, appearing sheepish. “...I didn’t know it would break like that. I just—you should get a damn better door.” He mumbles, heaving the doors up and resting them against the wall outside.
When he comes back from restraining the intruders, he stands before you awkwardly—like he doesn’t know what to do when he’s not fighting or cleaning up bodies.
No one says anything. You both just take each other in, not completely recognizing the person that looks back.
You don’t feel so angry at him anymore. When all’s said and done, everyone has different ways of dealing with grief. Your heart only grows conflicted, wishing you had been there for each other instead of being apart. Goodness knows you could have used someone by your side. You’re sure he did as well.
“I—” Zoro falters. “...I’m glad you’re okay.”
‘Okay’ isn’t how you would describe your current state, but you nod anyway. 
“You too, Zoro.”
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In a secluded alcove in the royal gardens the following afternoon, you invite Mihawk for tea on the pretense of thanking him for your newly sworn knight. The story that spread was that you would have been done for were it not for Zoro. You don’t want to think about how true that might be.
“The queen regent is furious you were able to secure a knight loyal to you.” Mihawk informs you as he helps himself to some pastries. “We should avoid meeting for a while, lest she suspect anything of me.”
“Alright.” You agree. “Selma also informed me that we can gather statements from mistreated staff.” You show Mihawk a list of names. “If enough of them support us, and if we can prove Cassiopeia orchestrated what happened last night… We can take her down.”
“She will be busy attending a gala this evening. I’ll make sure no one is near her office while she’s gone.” Mihawk turns to Zoro, who is standing guard behind you, sending him a fearsome look. “Those men got a tad too close last night—”
“Mihawk.” You warn him to drop it. He doesn’t.
“Ensure that it doesn’t happen again, young man.” 
“It won’t.” Zoro replies icily. The commander only huffs in response. 
‘It won't happen.’, he said. But trouble finds you when Zoro steps on a tripwire in Cassiopeia's office. Arrows soar, launching from scattered, hidden contraptions. Zoro shoves you into a bookshelf, covering your frame with his.
“So much for her not finding out we were here.” You remark sarcastically, waiting for him to step back.
But then, as they cage your head, Zoro’s arms tense up. His expression contorts in discomfort.
“...Zoro?” Raising your hands, you cradle the sides of his face.
“Damn arrows,” He growls. “I think they’re poisoned.”
“What?!” You gasp, ducking under his arm to check his back. You find a wound where an arrow grazed his skin. “Of course you get injured when you don’t wear your armor.”
“Why don’t you try sneaking around in that thing, then?” Zoro argues, but you’re startled when the wound begins to bleed.
“We need to get you treated.” Panicking, you grab his arm and pull him along. He doesn’t budge. “Zoro, we should go.”
“No.” He refuses, hissing in pain all the while. “That bitch won’t let us find a way in here again. Let’s just be quick.”
“...Fine.” You cave, still worried, hating that he’s right. “At least stay still, search the desk. I’ll handle everything else.”
Zoro relents, opening every drawer and scanning every document in them. You turn your attention to the shelves, trying to find hidden compartments or anything that looks remotely suspicious.
It's not long before a loud crash makes you wince. Zoro found something.
A panel beneath the desk detaches, revealing an ornate box. Studying it, you hum, “It looks like we’ll need a key.” Zoro unsheathes one of his blades, cutting through the lock until it cracks open. 
You shake your head. “Or we could do that, sure.”
However, instead of the nefarious plans or blueprints you were hoping for, you find old papers. All of them yellowing with age. 
“It’s your handwriting.” Zoro points out, picking up the first document.
“What?” You lean in, reading the file over his shoulder. It’s a letter written to acknowledge a transfer of money. But the amount is astronomical, and you don’t remember signing anything of the sort.
“Look at the date.” Pointing to the corner, it reads more than ten years ago. And then it clicks, “My mother wrote this.”
“There’s more than one.” Zoro sifts through the papers, counting over ten.
“All of them are addressed to… Shimotsuki Koushirou?” He reads the name slowly. You look at each other, confused. Why would Queen Florentia be sending payments to Kuina’s father?
A tall longcase clock chimes to signal the hour. If you clean up now and review the evidence later, you can make it look like you were never here. You instruct Zoro to pack up the box.
“We should head out soon.” You say, moving to pick up the arrows scattered on the floor. 
“Be careful.” Zoro reminds you.
“I am.” You show him that you’re holding the arrows by their tail ends. “You can go ahead, if you want. Get that wound treated.”
“Do you really think I would leave you?” You can’t help the incredulous look you send his way. 
“...Forget I said anything.”
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Back in your chambers, you twirl an arrow you decided to keep as evidence while examining the documents sprawled out on your carpet. 
Zoro grabs it from your hand. “I thought I told you to be careful with that.”
You think aloud as he sets the arrow to the side, “I just can’t figure out why my mother gave Koushirou so much money.”
“Maybe she felt bad about the accident.” Your swordsman suggests. “We all did.”
“But why did she have to keep it quiet…” Mumbling in thought, you read the last receipt Queen Florentia signed. It had been penned the week of her death.
The sky grows darker, and it becomes more difficult to see. Zoro strikes a match to light a few candles, bathing the room in a subtle, warm light.
Beneath the dim, flickering flames, the sharp arrow on your tea table glints ominously. 
It took you a long while to get over spacing out whenever you saw an arrow. It was one of the things that affected you after Kuina’s passing.
Sometimes, you think of how much better everything would be if she was still here. If it weren’t for that—
…accident?
“Zoro?” Your voice is unsteady, “...What do you remember about Kuina’s death?”
“It was some new guy at the training grounds.” He answers, frowning as he recalls what happened. “He misfired, and his knighthood got revoked after that.”
“But,” Memories come flooding back as you try to piece things together. “If the archers were practicing that day, what was Kuina doing in the grounds?”
“Kuina wasn’t in the grounds.” Zoro corrects you. “She was in that meadow we always went to.” 
He points to the view outside, raising a finger to trace the horizon. “The arrow flew through the fence, but it was really dangerous, even—” 
Zoro turns back to you with wide eyes. “Even the queen was almost hit! Holy shit, she was there to observe that day.” 
You blink at him in disbelief, “My mother was the real target.”
“And she didn’t want the culprit to know she realized, which is why she kept quiet about the money.” 
You collapse into a chair as you run your hands over your head. “Did anyone ever check the arrow for poison?”
“No.” Zoro’s face crumples. “She was hit straight in the heart... She wouldn’t have made it even if it wasn’t poisoned.”
“Oh, Kuina…” You choke back a sob, covering your face with both hands. “I’m so sorry it took us this long.”
“Wait.” Zoro calls out your name, taking your hand and kneeling in front of you. The strength of his grip hurts, but you don’t mind it. You need to feel that he’s with you right now; especially when his next question makes your heart fall through the floor.
“How did your mother die?” 
“She—she got sick. A lot of our people got sick that year.” You answer shakily, not liking where this is going. “Do you think…”
“Queen Florentia could have been poisoned.” Zoro whispers. “And I bet that fake bitch was responsible for it. For Kuina’s death too.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” You counter, “Cassiopeia deals with poisons, sure, but she wasn’t even in the kingdom yet then.” 
“...Someone must have betrayed your mother so Cassiopeia could be queen regent.” He suggests, rubbing circles into your palm. “Because isn’t it convenient, how she was there to bring the people together after Her Majesty died?”
It’s confusing how the world seems to have slowed down, and yet your mind is spinning so quickly, you can’t process anything. You squeeze Zoro’s hand to anchor you, but you shatter all the same. 
“I hate everything.” You cry, tears streaming down your face. “I hate how I didn’t know—but we were kids! How were we supposed to know? And, I hate feeling so powerless. What—how, are we going to fix this?”
“We’ll find a way, I promise.” Zoro moves to embrace your form, but you glare at him.
“You. I hate you too.” You push him away weakly, but he doesn’t let you go. “I—I hate that you left, Zoro… You have no idea how lost I was.”
His eyes glisten with tears. “I was lost without you too.”
Zoro feels you melt into his arms. Your strength just vanishes, and you slump forward until your forehead touches his.
“...Don’t leave me then.” You whisper. You beg.
He holds your cheek, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Never.”
The last thing you remember before falling asleep is Zoro pressing the softest kiss to your temple as he tucks you in bed.
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Selma barges in the next morning, slamming the (newly repaired) doors open. As you rub the sleep from your eyes, you’re starting to feel sad for the abuse your doors have been going through lately.
“Princess! Your Ladyship! Your Highness—” She stops abruptly, covering her mouth, looking scandalized. What is she so flabbergasted by—
Only then do you see Zoro sleeping on the floor beside you. He’s leaning on the bed, using his forearms as a pillow. One of his hands is intertwined tightly with yours.
“Your Highness!” Selma gasps playfully, gesturing to your mother’s portrait. “Right in front of Her Majesty!”
“Selma,” You sit up, letting go of Zoro’s hand. “Did you have anything important to report?”
“Ah!” She exclaims, face becoming worried once more, “The commander has been imprisoned!”
You curse, shaking Zoro’s shoulder to wake him. “Couldn’t you have told me that first?”
“Forgive me, princess. It’s not everyday I see you holding hands with a man. May I ask who confessed first, Your Highness?”
“Oh my god, Selma.” You groan. “Just go prepare my clothes.”
“Shall I dress you, or will Sir Zoro—”
“Selma!”
If Zoro heard any of Selma’s ramblings, he’s excellent at hiding it. You both get ready in record time. After which, he leads the way to the dungeons; careful to make sure you don’t run into anyone. 
“We can sneak him out through that secret passage we used to play in.” You whisper, your knight nods. 
“When we get to him, break the lock with your dagger. I’ll stand guard in case someone comes over.”
But someone already beat you to Mihawk’s cell. Zoro pulls you into a shadowed corner to hide.
The queen regent paces in front of the bars, her extravagant dress and cape out of place in this gloomy dungeon. 
Mihawk is on the ground, his wrists chained with heavy shackles. Yoru is noticeably missing from his back. Seeing him like this is heartbreaking.
“I should have known you’d help that wench.” Cassiopeia sneers. “You’ll regret not siding with me soon enough, Dracule.”
“Now that you’ve found me out, I can finally ask you to stop calling me that.” Mihawk yawns. “My name always sounded revolting in your voice.” Crazy bastard, will it kill him to try to stay alive?
“But Florentia called you that, didn’t she?” 
Zoro squints at how something about Mihawk changes at the mention of your mother. It’s almost imperceptible, but the air shifts dangerously. The queen regent should watch her mouth.
“Her name sounds revolting in your voice too.”
Cassiopeia scoffs. “You’re just like her. Thinking you’re better than everyone else.”
“Aren’t you talking about yourself?” Mihawk leans back, crossing his legs. “That’s not a good habit, Cassie.”
The queen regent kicks the cell. Mihawk doesn't flinch as she snarls, “I’ll deal with the princess and that knight... I’ll make you watch as the light fades from their eyes.” Gathering her skirt, her heels clack loudly as she stomps away.
As soon as she’s out of earshot, you and Zoro run to the commander.
“Mihawk!” You call out as you stab the lock with your dagger. It crumbles to the ground after a few strikes. “What happened? What did she charge you with?”
“Treason, apparently.” He shrugs, the chains holding him rattling together.
Mihawk goes on as you break his shackles, “This kingdom should be grateful we’re trying at all. We could easily leave them to their own devices—” You frown at him. 
“...But of course, we won’t do that.”
Sneaking into the library, you regroup with Selma; who passes on vital information.
“The queen regent has the palace on lockdown. Everyone has orders to take you in.” She tells you. “But I’ve rallied the staff. We're going to plead your case to the ministers, Your Highness.”
“Thank you. Do you have my mother's letters?” She nods. “Good. Use them well. I'll make sure your efforts will not go to waste.” You say, giving her hands a firm squeeze. 
“Where’s that fake queen now?” Zoro looks eager for a fight.
“One of the butlers said that the queen regent disappears sometimes, and no one knows where she goes.” Selma explains, passing you a note from her source. “There are rumors that she smells like grass when she returns.”
Mihawk lets out a disbelieving laugh, “She must be at the secret garden.”
“The what?” You ask. That sounds exactly like something you would have loved as a child, but why haven’t you heard of it before?
“It’s a place reserved for queens. Only crowned monarchs should be allowed in there, or even know where it is.” He says. “That woman truly doesn’t know her place.”
“Why do you know about it?” Zoro asks.
After a pause, the older swordsman deflects, “I’ve been called a queen once.”
“Mihawk,” You urge him to be serious. “Can you take us there?”
Before he responds, Mihawk looks at you with something you can’t fully discern, as if he’s recalling an old memory.
“Of course. It’s your birthright, after all.”
The entrance to the secret garden is hidden in a passageway beneath the greenhouse. You imagine your mother walking along this path, to a sanctuary she could truly call her own.
But the vision darkens when you think of how Cassiopeia has been using the space all this time. You hope you're still able to recognize traces of your mother when you get there.
An iron gate stands at the end of the path. Vines tangle through the metal spirals and flowers. Mihawk holds a finger to his lips, carefully opening the gates without a sound except for the rustling of leaves. You all crouch behind a large plant that fans out, over your heads.
And then, you see it. You see what your mother left for you.
The centerpiece of the garden is an intricate pedestal, Yoru is propped up against it. On top of it, however, is a glass case displaying your mother’s most treasured golden necklace.
You almost want to run to it, but Zoro grabs your arm, warning you not to take another step. He nods towards where Cassiopeia stands in front of oddly shaped vials and strange devices containing diff chemicals. She douses a sword with an eerie purple liquid as she speaks.
“Three against one... That hardly seems fair.” She kisses her teeth. Looking over her shoulder, she glares. “Why don’t we fight on even ground?”
Out of nowhere, a large cage falls towards the three of you. Mihawk pushes you and Zoro out of the way, but isn’t able to avoid the cage himself.
“And I just escaped. What a shame.” Mihawk fusses, but you can see that he’s relieved you’re alright.
“Maybe you’re meant to be in a cell, Dracule.” Cassiopeia remarks. “I’ll have your kids join you shortly.”
There’s only one of her, this should be easy, right?
She throws a bottle at you. Luckily, you’re able to dodge it. The bottle shatters, its contents spilling over the bystanding greenery. The liquid turns out to be acid, burning through the foliage and leaving a smoky trail. 
Well, fuck.
Zoro also seems to realize how serious this fight is. For the first time since you’ve reunited, he unsheathes Kuina’s sword, placing the hilt in his mouth.
You brandish your dagger as you yell, “Really? You bite it? What would Kuina say?” He sends you a look. You try not to laugh.
And in the next second, you charge at Cassiopeia together.
It’s difficult to get close enough to land a hit. The queen regent leads you in a dance of acids and poisons. You dodge one bottle only to be met with the toxic end of her blade. It seems that your mother’s dagger won’t be enough in this fight.
“I didn't get this far to be stopped by the likes of you!” Shrieking, she lunges at you.
“You will never be queen!” You roar back.
Behind her, your eyes spot Yoru leaning on the pedestal. The blade is large and intimidating, and you’re not entirely sure if you can wield it correctly… But you might not have a choice right now.
As you were distracted, Cassiopeia’s sword almost cuts through your side. Panicking, you stumble backwards. Zoro slashes at your enemy’s wrist. Her hold on the poisoned weapon falters. It plummets with a clang.
While she’s occupied with Zoro, you rush towards Yoru. From behind the bars, Mihawk watches, holding his breath as you wrap both hands around Yoru’s hilt—but the damn thing is too heavy. 
“Dear princess, you should have learned from your mother!” Cassiopeia smashes a bottle on Zoro’s head. “Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!”
The glass explodes into countless glittering shards. A red gas escapes into the air, and your knight inhales far too much of it.
He falls, and for that moment, the entire rest of the world vanishes until all you see is him. Your ears start to ring. His grip loosens on his swords. 
No. Please. Not him. Not anyone else. No more.
Mihawk calls your name. You turn to him, on the verge of breaking down. But then, he nods once, slowly. The action reminds you to breathe—filling you with an overwhelming sense of strength. You can do this.
Screaming, you attempt to brandish Yoru again. 
You swing the legendary greatsword in a perfect arc. Once it collides with the ground, the air ripples. Power surges through an invisible force headed straight for the queen regent. She tries to run, but the hit lands.
Her eyes don’t stray from yours as she collapses. In her final moments, she falls from grace, howling in agony and rage. 
As a last ditch attempt, she throws one last vial of acid at Zoro. You’re about to curse the world all over again as you run to stop it.
Mihawk throws a tiny sword like a dart, miraculously breaking the container before it lands on your knight. Your knees give out, and you pull Zoro into your arms as you gasp for air.
It’s done.
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Zoro wakes up to the feeling of you checking his temperature. Your hand is warm against his forehead, making him want to reach up and hold it. He should probably wake up and check on you now.
“Oh.” He hears Mihawk speak, “I didn’t realize your relationship took a certain… turn.”
On second thought, another minute of sleep won’t hurt.
“Not you too, Mihawk.” You groan. “I get enough of that from Selma.”
“Ah, yes. I heard.” The swordsman deadpans, “Hand holding. How scandalous.”
“Alright, if you’re not going to be of any help whatsoever, please just go.”
“If you wanted time alone with him, you could have just said so.”
“Goodbye, Mihawk.”
Zoro hears you escort Mihawk out, and he takes the moment alone to open his eyes. He’s in his quarters, which is a few doors down from yours so that he can easily get to you. 
Not that he stays here often, Zoro prefers standing guard outside your chambers. It’s strange how he lasted years without seeing you, because now that you’re back in each other’s lives, he becomes restless whenever you’re not around. 
Like right now. What’s taking you so long?
The door opens. Zoro perks up, but deflates when he sees that it’s Selma bringing in a pitcher of water. 
“You could’ve at least hidden your disappointment better, Sir Zoro.” She huffs at him, taking full offense. “I’ll go get your princess.”
“Oh!” She yelps excitedly, “My bad, it’s queen anointed now, isn’t it?”
Zoro smiles, his voice raspy with sleep, “That has a nice ring to it.”
“Indeed, it does.” Selma nods, bidding him farewell. 
He doesn’t have to wait long to hear your rushing footsteps. The door opens again to reveal you, this time. Your eyes shine in that really pretty way they do when you’re happy. He’s glad that’s among the things that didn’t change.
Zoro opens his arms, inviting you, “Come here.”
Not needing to be told twice, you fall into his arms, burying your face in his chest.
“You’re okay.” You murmur.
“I wasn’t about to miss your coronation, Your Majesty.” Zoro pokes your nose. He did that a lot when you were kids, you forgot how much you liked it.
“Thank you for being okay.” Leaning down, you kiss his cheek softly.
Zoro brushes his fingers through your hair. He holds your face in his hands, tracing your features as if that will help him memorize the happiness he feels in his heart. The sort of happiness he thought was lost to him forever.
“Hey,” Zoro speaks your name with care. “I love you a lot, you know.”
He always envisioned confessing to you in some dramatic, elaborate way that you’d deserve. There could have been a beautiful sunset. He would’ve brought flowers.
But he was wrong. All he needs are the words themselves, and you—smiling the way you’re smiling at him now. 
You laugh, “I might love you more, I think.”
Zoro shakes his head, sitting up so that he can bring his face to yours properly. “Doubt it.”
The kiss tastes like magic, like you were always meant to find each other's lips. His heart starts doing something funny, and he has to pull you closer—hold you tighter. You respond eagerly, kissing him back so intoxicatingly that he’ll remember the softness of your lips for as long as he lives.
Later that week, your coronation is a grand and extravagant affair.
When Cassiopeia's misdeeds came to light, the people banded together to celebrate her downfall. Those loyal to her either surrendered or tried to escape. Although none of them were able to get away, since Zoro and Mihawk were ruthless towards those involved in the attempted mutiny.
The crown on your head will take some to get used to. It still feels like you're borrowing something of your mother's; but instead of shying away from it like you had before, you step into it openly. You're ready to become a successor worthy to carry on her legacy of kindness and strength.
Uncharted these waters may be, at least you have Zoro now, who would dive into any perilous sea right after you.
Escaping the celebratory banquet and the revelries, you visit Queen Florentia and Kuina's graves with Zoro. It's only right that you pay respects together.
You leave flowers on your mother's headstone, thanking her for everything she did. You're startled when Zoro takes one of his swords, holding it in front of him as he kneels in front of the previous queen.
“Your Majesty, Queen Florentia,” He speaks, his tone steady and sure. “I, Roronoa Zoro, vow to never leave your daughter’s side. I will protect her until I draw my last breath. I swear to cherish her, and to love her even in my next life.”
What is he doing, making you cry like this? It turns out that emotional boy you knew is still somewhere in there. Your heart feels full, knowing your mother would have appreciated the gesture.
As you're about to move on to Kuina's grave, Zoro motions for you to go ahead without him. You look at him strangely, but do as he says to give him some space. 
Mihawk emerges from the treeline when you've gone far enough.
“You look like you’re about to leave without saying goodbye.” Zoro remarks.
“Of course you’d know how that works, hm?” Mihawk challenges, raising a sharp brow. “Try even thinking about leaving and I’ll return to make sure it’s your last thought."
“Didn't you just hear the oath I made to the love of your life?” Zoro turns to Florentia's tombstone again. “Your Majesty, back me up here.”
“She would have approved of you.” Mihawk’s frown is unimpressed, but his gaze is unmistakably caring. 
“...Take care of her, Zoro.”
“Of course. I promise.”
As Mihawk walks away, Zoro asks him one last question, “How are your regrets now, old man?”
The former commander’s shoulders shake in a mixture of amusement and relief. “I suspect they'll heal, with time.”
When Zoro catches up to you at Kuina's grave, you're grinning at him. He can picture that same grin on Kuina's face if she were here. 
“We were just talking about you.” You jest, “All bad things, too.”
“You had nothing to talk about, then.” Zoro sits on the grass beside you. “I’m perfect for you.”
Appalled, you scoff and turn to Kuina's headstone. “Can you believe this guy?”
That day, you talked for hours, even after the sun had set. And on the trek back to the palace, a soft breeze caressed your skin. It felt like Kuina encouraging you, sending you off onto the next chapter of your lives.
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Zoro becomes Captain of the Royal Guard once Mihawk leaves. He's teaching you about weapons and self defense when he picks up your dagger to inspect it, turning it this way and that curiously.
“Is there something wrong with it?” You ask, observing it too.
“This pattern and material.” Zoro says, tracing a certain swirl on the weapon. “I feel like I've seen it before.”
“Ah,” He says in realization, tracing a finger down your neck and making you shiver. “It’s the pattern on your necklace.”
“My mother must have had them made together.” You say, unclasping the chain before handing it to him.
There's a gap in the center of the pendant. Thin and barely noticeable, but it looks like it can be opened by something sharp.
“Do you mind if I,” Zoro gestures at the dagger.
“Just don't break it.” You say. “Treat it like my heart.”
Zoro makes a face that pulls a laugh out of you. “I would never do this to your heart.” Aw. You might have melted a little.
The tip of the blade slots perfectly into the pendant. After twisting it slowly like a key, the metal clicks to reveal: a locket.
Handing it over to you carefully, Zoro lets you open it the rest of the way. Inside, there are images drawn on two panels. You, as a child on one side… and Mihawk on the other. Now you understand why your mother treasured this so much. Tearing up, you sigh.
“You’re not surprised.” Zoro notes.
“...I think a part of me always knew.” You respond. “And, I definitely felt something when I held Yoru. No wonder why.”
Treading carefully, Zoro wraps his arms around your waist as he asks, “You’re not upset that he left?”
“But he didn’t. He’ll always be there for me, and so will you.” You smile up at him. “I’m happy I found my family again.”
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Many years ago…
The grass on the meadow bristles gently in the wind. Dusk bathes the land in a dreamy, gold and purple hue. 
After a day filled with imaginary adventures, two children wave their dearest friend goodbye. The princess smiles at them fondly before returning to the castle.
Kuina grins, face eager as she points her training sword to the sky. “I’ll be her knight someday. I’ll be commander and everything.”
Zoro jolts, immediately expressing in protest, “No, I’ll be the one to protect her! I’ll be commander!”
“Oh yeah?” The girl’s smile turns knowing. She pokes Zoro’s waist with her sword. “How will you do that? Aren’t you going to marry her?”
Stunned, Zoro can only stare at her in response. A blush creeps up his neck, reddening the tips of his ears. Kuina seizes the opportunity to make a run for it.
“Princess, wait up! Zoro wants to tell you something!”
“Kuina! Get back here!”
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read the companion piece / my notes / the timeline of this story (in mihawk's perspective) here : "the taste of ale"
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tags: @songsofadelaide-archive @ay0nha @amitydoodlez @sweetexistentialism @murnsondock @starszns @msmisasoup @writingmysanity @hotchocolattee @dimplewonie @hearts4zoro @kenkenmaaa @appalost @commanderfreethatdust @onebatch--twobatch @rebeccawinters @gunslxtz @akakaze @lownna
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Text
sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]
these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better
yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT
if ur under 16 please don't interact 👍🏻
afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though
obviously this is under a cut
warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry
mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones
Scout:
-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters
-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit
-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal
-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)
-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)
-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him
-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY
-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close
-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔
-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in
-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit
-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will
Soldier:
-good GAWD
-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay
-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance
-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad
-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really
-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it
-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)
-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another
-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here
-very attracted to body hair bc i say so
-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands
-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao
Pyro:
-man,,,,
-obviously into temperature and wax play
-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊
-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body
-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned
-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names
-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad
-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end
-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔
Demo:
-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍
-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy
-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink
-is also open to a threesome with soldier
-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!
-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"
-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say
-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)
-very much into face and thigh riding
-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time
-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!
-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴
-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer
-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed
Heavy:
-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄
-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content
-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)
-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice
-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"
-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild
-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear
-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!
-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)
-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his
-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more
-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh
-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!
Engineer:
-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍
-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage
-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast
-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week
-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you
-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo
-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE
-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present
-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him
-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will
-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)
-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his
MEDIC!
-the moment we've all been waiting for
-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean
-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell
-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you
-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!
-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you
-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom
-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves
-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here
-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you
-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace
Sniper:
-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.
-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers
-absolutely into knife play come on
-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest
-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love
-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too
-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys
-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc
-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl
-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days
Spy:
-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover
-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself
-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation
-also has a daddy kink let's get real here
-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!
-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him
-likes buying you lingerie
-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️
-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]
-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄
-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink
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ki-kosmo · 8 months
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Me: Ok it’s time to work on something productive!!
My brain: ok but what if we didn’t do that actually *develops crossover and writes a spin-off AU with details down to the mechanics of each animatronic*
Anyway what if Mystery Skulls DCA crossover?
Close-ups and more info under the cut bc I’m brainrotting real hard about this:
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So with this crossover (AU??) the story is mostly the same as the Mystery Skulls animated series, but with a few changes.
The gang all worked together in theater production; Sun and Moon were performers just like in canon SB, while Y/N and mini djmm were behind the scenes, doing tech, organizing events, etc. However, the crew also loved to go exploring, and Y/N, being heavily interested in the paranormal, usually led “investigations” into haunted locations. This was all for funsies and frankly, the boys just had fun going out and observing.
One night they go to an abandoned cave and get separated, and due to a… malfunction… in Sunny’s arm, he pushes Moon off a nearby cliff, tearing the poor bot to shreds. But! Whatever force that amplified the glitch in Sun also allowed for Moon’s will to stay alive and wrath to seek revenge on sun to strengthen, and eventually revive his sentient ai, piecing himself back together as best he can, with the rest of him materializing into a new body. Eventually, Djmm finds Sun and rips his infected arm from his socket, which brings Sun back to reality.
Sun doesn’t remember any of this except for Djmm tearing his arm away, and Y/N barely remembers Moon at all. In fact, all they know is Sun had a theater partner once, but one day they just vanished. Sun… doesn’t like to talk about it. He grows depressed, long after he gets repaired, and soon after stops performing to look for Moon full-time.
When he realized Y/N didn’t remember anything, he was conflicted. Confused. But once he realized he couldn’t seem to jog their memory, he kind of kept the events a secret from them. Not for his sake, no, but because he knew Y/N would blame themselves if they ever found out one of their silly escapades resulted in the death of someone so dear to them all.
Also for those interested, yes I designed Djmm with Mystery’s transformation in mind, here are some chicken scratch sketches I saved while I was figuring out their look:
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If you read this far I’m giving you a big ol’ smooch on the forehead and a cookie 🍪💕
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bakubunny · 5 months
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um- if no one asked i would like you to hear those hc’s on izuku and shinso 🙄 (tenya and tokoyami too if that’s not asking for too much😔)
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not too much for sure, i’m having a lot of fun with this. ask away. 🖤 tried to chill a little bit on some of the sizes bc i’m tryna have mercy on some of y’all.
eat up @cheffuckboyrdee @neon-gothicc.
repeating the disclaimer that i know it’s not realistic for every guy ever to be above average but it’s my (dick) party and i’ll drool over them if i want to.
midoriya
size is 6.5” long and 6.25” girth, he’s longer than average, shorter than the others i’ve mentioned so far and it’s thickkkk. BUT
i’m a little undecided on him bc my brain says “i want to throat pro!deku’s dick while he uses me until head empty,” but my heart says, “canonically he’s got the fattest dick hands down, *maybe* after kiri.” and we’ve already discussed kiri, we know no one is taking his dick down their throat. so my hcs on izuku’s (and sometimes kiri’s) size fluctuate a bit. 😅
curved upward, very veiny, bit of a mushroom head. fairly even girth but widest at the base. heavy balls.
clean shaven for the most part except maybe a soft green patch and a cute lil happy trail…. def not bc he’s into rimming and has his own dildos he wants to get pegged with.
goes crazy over teasing head and long hand jobs with edging but also has the desire to ruthlessly fuck your throat ngl. loves fucking your thighs.
also a fan of foreplay out of necessity. hence another reason why he’s such a big lover of giving head.
shinso
size is 7” long and just shy of 6” girth. he’s at that sweet spot imo where he’s big enough to feel huge inside and heavy when it hits your face but you’re not in a cold sweat just trying to take the whole thing.
even girth, mostly straight with a little bit of a curve to the left. some prominent veins but not a ton. he’s another one with pretty balls. 🫢
he’s got a cute purple happy trail at his belly button. 🥺 likes to stay trimmed but will clean up if you ask.
loves when you deep throat him and gets even harder if you struggle or gag. loves sloppy head & when you massage his balls.
many of the guys mentioned so far have nice softies, but his is particularly cute.
tokoyami
i am going to resist the urge to hc his size as 8-9”/6”ish and uncut even tho that’s what i feel deep in my soul abt this man. 😭 pro!fumi just has that vibe. i’m not trying to make them all the same, i promise.
size is 6.5” long and 5.5” girth. enough to leave you more than satisfied and bonus: finally someone who’s not too big for quickies whenever you want. (say you’re bratting a lil too much and next thing you know you’re bent over in a public bathroom. 🫢 or he just can’t wait to get you home. 🫢🫢)
uncut, straight, not v. veiny, even girth or widest at the base (i can’t decide), breeder balls. they’re heavy and pretty. typically clean shaven, little bit of a happy trail when he does let it grow.
if any of you lovelies remember this hc series, you might remember that i firmly believe fumi loves getting head.
likes any position that involves being really close physically or going as deep as possible.
iida
size is a bit over 6” long and 5” girth. he’s not the biggest of boys but he knows how to use it… with a little guidance. probably for the better that he’s not massive bc he likes to go hard and fast, but you can break him of that habit if you want.
cut, a little veiny, downward curve, and narrower at the base and wider at head. his balls are big in comparison to his dick.
likes having his perineum played with but was absolute shocked at how quickly he came from it the first time.
he can be dominant but he’s weak for pretty eyes, pretty lips, and tit jobs. let your tongue hang out and hold up your bare tits and he’s a goner.
todoroki
size is 6.5” long and a little under 5.5” girth. shower rather than a grower. he’s got a softie that hangs and it’s adorable.
hard upward curve, veiny, head that’s not too prominent but cut, slightly narrower at base and head. his balls match his size but they’re very sensitive. doesn’t always like them played with but sometimes it’s nice.
his body hair is half & half just like the hair on his head. 😭 generally very clean shaven but it’s so pretty when he lets that happy trail grow.
i can’t decide if he prefers handjobs or oral sex more but he whines like a damn baby when you edge him and he loves it.
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solargeist · 15 days
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I'm not sure if this has been asked, but what do the other hermits or members from empires think of grian being a watcher in your AU? i know martyn doesn't get on with him, but what are the others' view of it?
I don't know how every one would react, theres only a select few who know, but... !
Xisuma, because he was the first one to find Grian after he crashed into Hermitcraft. Xisuma already knows what Watchers are, so he took pity on Grian's reaction and took him in. He wasn't initially going to let him join HC since he was a stranger, (and a Watcher,) he was just going to help him back on his feet (wings?) and then send him on his way, but well things changed. Grian only told him whats relevant, so Xisuma doesn't know the whole story. Xisuma also comes from the End, he thinks the Watchers are inevitable and also none of his business as long as they don't mess with anything. Xisuma keeps tabs on Grian. Grian feels like he owes Xisuma the world.
Mumbo knows the full story, every little bit of it, Grian literally poured his soul out to him. Mumbo is the first friend he makes there, and Grian's still reeling from the whole experience so he built up a lot of trust in Mumbo and ends up spilling everything to him on a particularly bad day. Mumbo doesn't know what Watchers are, so he doesn't care that Grian was (is?) a Watcher, he just wants his friend safe, and doesn't think of him any differently. Mumbo sits right next to Grian with an arm over his shoulder, and fidgets with one of Grian's hands while he listens to him. Its sad at first, but towards the end of the rants Grian lightens up, a huge weight off his shoulders, and now they're both facing each other and gossiping abt their families. (Grian wins any family gossip bc his watcher aunt tried to throw him off a cliff)
Martyn and Jimmy, both were friends from Evo, and both feel betrayed by Grian leaving, and him being the direct reason their server is shut down. Martyn, while angry, and while he'd still fight him, he does want Grian out of there. Jimmy is more sad than angry, and tells himself he doesn't care, but he does, a lot. They both work with the Listeners, so Grian is a bit more villainized from their point of view.
Pearl also doesn't get the full story, she knows somewhat, and Grian has talked to her a bit about it, thats his sister ! But he can't tell her he left everyone on purpose, or how he was treated by Watchers, theres still a lot of guilt and shame. She doesn't force him to tell her everything, they're still siblings and repairing that relationship after being apart for so long.
Scar... Grian avoids Scar for awhile, after 3rd life he feels scared to face him in Hermitcraft. Though, to his shock, Scar can barely remember him, or the life games, its blurry, but theres a vague sense there, a memory or two, he recognizes Grian as much as you would a stranger you've seen twice in one week. Once they get closer though Grian tells him a bit, mostly abt the life game, and that his family runs it, but he didn't have anything to do with that. He also apologizes a lot. Scar just thinks Grian has a weird family, he doesn't know or understand what Watchers are, he mostly shrugs this off. Scar has a very "That was then, this is now" attitude, he wants to know This current Grian.
Thats everyone relevant that knows abt him, though I think there are a few Hermits that think theres Something up with Grian, but can't place it. Cleo, Etho, and Iskall, come to mind, theres something abt how Grian's eye catches the light...
(Theres also Taurtis.. The one that disappeared in Evo, one of the leading reasons Grian puts up with so much. I don't have much in writing abt Taurtis showing up again, but.. I do imagine his reaction to Grian would be very negative, maybe ? Angry and freaked out by him, I think Grian would collapse to his knees after seeing his reaction. BUT thats not really canon, thats just a thought I think is kinda fun.)
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At Long Last... Mick apwos TF2 Guy Eye Color Headcanons
I was gonna post smth like "uwaaa are eye color headcanons still cool... would anyone wanna see..." but then remembered I do what I want! So
Scout: Blue eyes I'm sorry. I think "people with blue eyes waiting for you to comment on their blue eyes" memes work for him. Also I think Jerma's got blue eyes and they're the same guy so it works
Soldier: Really any eye color goes for him bc visible eyes aren't really part of his design, but I think that kinda muddy brown-green color would work. Mostly just bc I think it'd be funny if this guy specifically had basically camo-colored eyes. His army green orbs
Demo: This is like the only guy whose canon eye color I care about. Demo's eye is BROWN it is not green or gold or yellow or whatever, it's brown. I have honestly gotten to a point where I think any insistence that it's another color or that it would be "cooler" if it were another color is offensive
Heavy: Blue, but I like to differentiate them from Scout's blue by making them Very pale. I think it works with his whole Large Foreboding Siberian Man thing. The kind of eye color really best described as "icy"
Engie: Another one I don't really think too much about bc his eyes are always obscured, but I think especially if he's blond they should be brown. Lighter brown eyes with dark blond hair look nice, it looks nice in the New Mexican desert and it looks nice surrounded by glowing yellow Australium machines. He seems like a warm colors kinda guy
Medic: Blue again sorry. There has never been a man who better encapsulates the "blue-eyed husky stare" thing. Absolutely terrifying. I like to differentiate his from Scout's and Heavy's by making the color very bright. Bc yknow. Medic? Bright? Cheery? Giggly? It works
Sniper: I am a brown-eyes Sniper tf2 truther and will be until the day I die. It works! And they're dark too, basically black. You can't really see it behind the colored glasses, so I always like to make someone noticing his eye color a very intimate thing. It's fun
Spy: It seems So obvious to me that Spy should have brown eyes, especially with the duller and darker reds of his design. It just looks nicer, in my opinion
BONUS ROUND:
Pauling: I like the green eyes but I also think brown eyes would be nice. Maybe gray. Blue is a no-no
Admin: I think the green eyes work! They feel sharp and distinct within her mostly purple, pink, and red color palette. She feels like she should have eyes that stick out. Yellow is another good option
Hale: He barely has a canon eye color but I think a brown so light it's almost orange or yellow would work for him. Maybe straight-up yellow eyes, I do love that visual Australium effect
Zhanna: Brown eyes. Works with her color palette! I never really notice what color eyes people give her but I think this would be nice
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corrodedbisexual · 1 year
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I am once again thinking about Steve's injuries. Specifically, the road rash on his back and the back of his arms.
So... About a year ago I slid on a wet rock on a mountain hike and broke the fall on a rocky surface with my bare knee. The surface was relatively smooth, and the overall slide was... maybe half a meter. Nowhere near close to what Steve went through.
Several points from personal observation, in case you're curious and haven't scraped your skin much since you were a child learning to ride a bike and don't remember how it goes, and the resulting headcanons. (Having thought about it, I myself will try to incorporate this into my post-Vecna fics more, bc honestly there's never enough attention paid to it, and in the long run it might just be 100 times more of a bitch than the bat bites, despite not being immediately life threatening, due to the enormous surface of the skin affected.)
1) It doesn't really hurt that much right after the injury. The scrapes are shallow, there's little blood, it's mostly just mangled skin. So despite this being a common criticism of the canon, it's entirely plausible Steve could shrug that off and keep focused on the Vecna shit without treating it. I'll allow it.
2) The fun begins about a day later, when the injury really starts to scab. A knee or an elbow is probably the worst fucking place to get scraped: every tiny movement of your joints results in extreme stretching of the scabbing skin, damaging it over and over again when it's just begun to heal. I spent a week walking with a limp. But really it applies to any part of your body that moves a lot. For Steve, I'd say the worst would be his shoulder blades. Raising his arms, lifting anything heavy, anything that stretches the skin on his back would hurt like a bitch in his condition after a couple of days.
3) Also, he wouldn't be able to comfortably sleep on his back, or lean back in a chair. No fucking way. The edges of the scabs are sharp. When pressed on, they dig into your skin. Ouch.
4) The fun continues when it really starts to heal and ITCH! LIKE! A! MOTHERFUCKER! And of course, the scabs prevent you from scratching, because your body is smart like that, so of course you start peeling them. But you can't do that if it's on your back. I just imagine Steve behaving like a flea infested bear, trying to scratch his back against tree trunks and door frames while everyone tries to stop him from doing that because that keeps opening up his wounds. Maybe Eddie or Robin could offer him gentle backrubs when they hang out. Enough to take the edge off the itching, not enough to damage the scabs.
5) The scarring. It's not gonna be super visible, but it's gonna be there, a white spiderweb of scars. I realize that everyone's skin heals differently, and there are ointments that can help, but in the end, with all that, this is my knee about a day after the injury and 10 months later.
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So, uh... Yeah. Stevie. I'm so sorry baby. (Hugging him tight to my chest)
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cleromancy · 6 months
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while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.
(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)
so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.
(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)
i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.
ok cutting 4 length
the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)
but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.
and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)
and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.
oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this
just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:
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>:| got distracted again. by this.
anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.
and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)
i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.
(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)
i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.
but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.
tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?
yeah. yeah, i really do. lol
anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.
and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:
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and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.
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he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.
anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.
bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.
anyway
im just going to roll back to robin 183 now
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jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:
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does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.
anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.
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rocknluvy · 11 months
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starlie headcanons??? 😳😳😳
jareth, you don't even KNOW–
i think it should be established that charlie fell first, and meeks fell so so much harder.
steven is slowly losing brain functions like two months after realizing he has a crush, while charlie is chilling (he's been in love for 3 years but he's not gonna do anything about it bc he's convinced steven is out of his league) and ambiguously flirting him (oh, the simple joys of life, confusing your crush about your feelings <3)
not to say that charlie isn't down bad btw, he's just better at coping most of the time
charlie unashamedly favours meeks in everything and he's SO ANNOYING about it
like (i already said this somewhere btw) whenever charlie drives he makes an argument that the driver has the complete authority over the radio, UNLESS it's meeks sitting in the passengers seat, then he lets him pick the music every single time.
charlie is a very hands-on person, and he WILL manhandle the shit out of steven whenever it's convenient to him like the bastard he is
meeks is fine with that btw, he'll just be chatting with sb and charlie comes up behind him, wordlessly grab his arm and move him like a foot to the left and bc he was blocking him, and meeks will barely blink, like "yeah ig that just happened.. anyways!"
also charlie is just about strong enough to lift up steven, and he abuses this ability whenever he can
ADHD!Charlie Dalton x Autism+ADD!Steven Meeks are basically canon to me
meeks absolutely forgets to eat some days, especially during finals and such. charlie can tell whenever that happens, so he'll sneak him food from the kitchen/make him something light just so he doesn't pass out
in a similar sense charlie does not remember he's supposed to drink water, like ever, so meeks has a habit of always having an extra water bottle for him.
their petnames for each other are kinda all over the place
meeks gets easily embarrassed by petnames so he doesn't really use them, while Charlie Extra Dramatic Dalton–
charlie: love, baby, my heart, Stevie (condescending like 50% of the time, the other 50% he's fully genuine) steven: bastard (affectionate) & Charles (derogatory) meeks mostly just calls charlie 'my boyfriend <3'
they almost never flirt in english, at least in public, charlie uses spanish, and meeks mostly hebrew or chinese
also meeks likes to make comments about charlie in latin (bc charlie doesn't really know it besides basics they learned at welton), even in public and cameron has tried to kill him so many times bc 'i don't need to know that, you pervert!'
steven is a chronic people pleaser, charlie is a chronic people annoyer.
charlie proposed on their first real date for the free cake. he did not tell meeks he was going to do that beforehand.
… meeks said yes anyways.
but i don't actually see them getting married, except maybe for tax benefits after 7 years of dating. and they would frequently forget that they're married
there is absolutely no way they get together normally, first they're in a on-again-off-again situationship for like a year bc they both refuse to admit their feelings
also it's meeks that finally confesses (after ignoring three full confessions from charlie, bc they were either so dramatic he thought charlie was joking, or so casual that he didn't even realize what happened)
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hausofmamadas · 6 months
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| To live and leave fast |
Pairing: Andrea Nuñez x Horacio Carrillo
For @narcosfandomdiscord NarcOctober - Day 16 (+ a bit of Day 15 tbh)
Prompt: Day of Surprises (+ a smidge of Day of Absolute Filth) - create a fanwork that focuses on dreams (+ a smidge of character's moral corruption)
Word count: ≈ 2.3K
TWs: Canon-consistent violence, Real Big Sad, angst with some smoochin'
What was he doing here? He couldn’t answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic. okay sjsjs the way I told myself that I was gonna stop at 800 words and it becamekfjs this. So again, imsorryforeverything but uhh yea, I barely proofread this so the Spanish is prolly rough and so is everything else but hey! We can just blame it on it’s all a dream, right ….? Right??? Anyway, enjoy some shockingly non-antagonistic and sometimes tender back-and-forth btwn these two and probably the most ooc Carrillo to ever exist bc I’ve never written for him before. Idk why I’m so obsessed with this crackship but I am and it is what it is
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Her voice rang out, “So, tell me. How long do you really think you can go on like this?” almost in time with the flashing red light that cut through the half-broken blinds, filling the dank, dingy room.
Carrillo tried sitting forward from where he must’ve fallen asleep slumped against something, presumably the wall of someone’s living room. No, not someone’s living room. No one’s living room. Because the place was a mess, covered in old takeout wrappers from Tijuana’s finest dining establishments, broken glass, cobwebs, and dust that would’ve been more befitting of an ancient tomb than this place. The smell of vodka or maybe rubbing alcohol burned his nose but he couldn’t pinpoint where it might’ve been coming from.
Was he even still in Tijuana? Huh. Well, that would have to wait till later. Anyway, he didn’t need to know what city he was in to know he was in an abandoned safe house. Which narco faction it belonged to didn’t make a difference. This one had to have been empty for at least a month, probably more, judging by the disarray. That and the insect activity. From Escobar to El Señor de los Cielos, the pace of the narco-lifestyle only lent itself to living and leaving fast, and whatever got left behind was usually beside the point.
Okay, but how’d he get here.
Maybe if he asked her, she’d stop looking right through him from where she stood across the room, arms crossed, leaning back against a mostly empty bookshelf that housed a few old books, some technical manual for car engines, and what looked like some old issues of Penthouse or some other stag magazine. High brow reading. He wondered if sicarios knew how much of a cliche they all were. Just once he’d like to meet one who enjoyed basketweaving, or birdwatching, or who was sentimental about their girlfriend. Anything that broke type. Then again, when it came to breaking type, he wasn’t in the best position to judge.
“Ay, por favooor, cabrón.” Startled, he jerked forward at the sound of her voice. “Remember when I told you that you were straight out of Central Casting for a war movie?” Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, she scoffed, “Who are you to talk about breaking type, hombre?”
What the hell. How’d she– He didn’t– Or, had he— Was he talking out loud this whole time?
He sat up straighter and a pain lit up his right side, going from dull to blinding. Hands already at the damp spot on his shirt, trying not to scream, he could tell the wound there was bleeding more now from the pressure of sitting up. Wait no, that was good. Actually, he could use that. Inhaling with the strength of his whole body, he pressed his fingers down, jamming them into the wound, and let the pain accumulate in his chest and ribcage, then exhaled, hoping his breath would send the sensation up further to his face, his forehead, activate the muscles there to share the load of his heavy eyelids.
He didn’t think he was talking out loud, but then, he must’ve been since she’d answered. That meant something, he knew. He couldn’t focus though. Why couldn’t he focus? What’d it mean? Oh right, blood loss. It was worse than he realized. But why wasn’t she helping him? No matter how furious she was with him, that wouldn’t have been like her, standing there while he bled out.
“Ay pinshe Carrillo, no seas mamón. I was helping but you fought me the minute I started trying to clean the thing. And then,” brows knit in his favorite it-is-what-it-is position, she pointed to a puddle by his feet, “you knocked the bottle out of my hands,” then shrugged, looking around the room absently. “And vodka was the only thing I could find in this place that even comes close to sanitary. So, I had to wait for you calm down or pass out before I could do anything.”
He had no memory of that. In fact, he had no memory of anything before that dingy little room. Which was weird. He’d been hit in the head enough times that lapses in memory weren’t an altogether foreign experience, but usually he could remember something from before. Sometimes it might be hours before whatever disaster, but he at least remembered. Now, it was just blank. It occurred to him that he might be–
“–and you might be in shock,” she finished aloud.
Jesus, was he saying everything he was thinking? He watched her and waited, seeing if she’d answer more questions in his head.
That light outside kept flashing, bathing the room in a deep shade of red that danced off the broken glass, creating macabre shadows that skittered up the walls, across the floor, the ceiling. Through the blinds too, it cast alternating stripes of red and black on her face. It would’ve been beautiful if it wasn’t so sinister-looking. Well no, it made her more stunning, in a haunting, alien way, even though she looked how she usually did: hair messily pulled back, a few strands hanging in her face, wearing a tank-top and that button-up he’d found at the Salvation Army in San Ysidro. He couldn’t focus. That’s right, he’d gone to drop off some old dining chairs he had no use for, caught it out of the corner of his eye hanging with the rest of the men’s button-ups. And instantly thought of her. Why couldn’t he focus. The pain finally reached his eyes.
Again, she answered his thoughts. “Well, as much as I wanted to fight you for fighting me,” she looked down, pinching the collar of the shirt and wiggling it back and forth like a dollar bill, “I didn’t get far enough in the process of dressing your wound to ruin it. And it is one of my favorites. I have to give it to you, tigre. Your attention to detail is the stuff of legend, and they were not wrong.”
At that, he smiled tiredly. She rocked forward, kicking off the bookshelf, and strode over to him, bits of glass crunching under the gummy, rubber souls of her boots. Doc Martens. So practical. They really were, the two of them, the same sometimes.
“Andrea,” her name came out in a whisper and a wince as he clutched at his side. He looked down in a daze that no matter how many times he blinked, how wide he forced his eyes open, he couldn’t shake. “How’d th– what happened? What are you doing here? How’d you– ,” he grunted, shifting his weight to his good side, “mm– get here?”
“Te he seguido, obvio.”
What? She follo– he hadn’t even briefed anyone on the raid at Agua Caliente until right before. Trujillo would never. Walt? No, after the debacle in Juarez, he was too wrapped up needing this win to jeopardize it by talking to a reporter. Even one as dogged and persistent as Andrea. And yes, she was resourceful. But resourceful, not psychic.
It felt like a lifetime of sitting there trying put it all together and he didn’t remember when she’d started making her way towards him, but she was already kneeling next to him now, slowly removing his hands from his side. Her eyes and forehead pinched in such a way that would’ve amplified his concern if he weren’t so out of it.
Her fingers felt cold around his neck. “Árre, we need to get this off,” she said, unbuttoning the collar of his uniform.
He was alarmed when his hands brushed hers and he saw they were covered in some dark substance. Oh, blood. Strange, it looked pitch black in this light. Andrea continued working her way down, pulling each button gingerly, so as not to hurt him more. The closer she got to his stomach, the more her hands began to resemble his, covered in black.
“Dale, mija. ¿Me vas a explicar lo que haces aquí ya o qué?”
He wanted to rub his thumb across her lip as it curled up in a smug smile. “Why? Should I not be here? You want me to leave? Sure,” she craned her neck around, and called out into the empty room, “I’ll just be on my way then and let someone in this massive crowd of eager, good samaritans help you.”
He chuckled thinly. When she faced back to him, she began untucking his shirt as delicately as possible. It hurt like a sonofabitch but it was going to hurt no matter what they did, so he softened the corners of his eyes, trying not to make her feel bad.
She continued. “The better question I think is, what are you doing here?”
Once he was free from his dress shirt, she grabbed both sides of the hole in the white shirt underneath and tore it wider to get a better look at the wound. Blood leaked out in streams down his stomach to his waist. It appeared to be a large gash from some kind of shrapnel. Much too jagged for a knife. The harsh sound of air through her teeth was a good indicator of what kind of shape he was in.
Alright so, shrapnel. But he couldn’t remember an explosion and there was no evidence of one having happened there in the room. What was he doing here? He couldn’t answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic.
He’d been doing a passable job not reacting too viscerally with his face, but when she started rifling through his pockets on either side, he grimaced, growling, “Ay, Andrea! Qué coño estás haciendo, porfavor.”
Paying him no mind, she held out her hand like a surgeon waiting for a scalpel. “Knife.”
He jutted his chin toward his feet. Spotting the shiny silver clip, she grabbed the knife from his boot, flicked it out, and made an incision in the hem of his uniform shirt. Catching the free section in her teeth, she tore down the length of the initial incision, and started packing the vodka-soaked gauze that she’d managed to hold onto after his freakout onto the wound and tying it with the strips of cloth cut from the shirt. When she pulled hard, securing the final knot, he nearly keeled over.
“Aycarajoperdónperdónperdóname,” she said, catching him by the shoulders.
She stayed there, acting as his scaffolding until the pain subsided. He lifted his chin to rest his forehead against hers and catch his breath. Just in her wanting to help him, the assurance of her fingertips against his shoulders, he felt her helping him. He couldn’t remember a time he was so grateful for another human being. Grateful in the way only she could make him feel. 
Speaking half to her and half to the ground, he tried putting the pieces together, “I don’t know what I’m doing here. For some reason–“ but lost the words when he’d barely gotten started.
“What?”
“I don’t know. It’s– I have this strange– I have a feeling we’ve always been here. And will … always be here.”
Andrea nodded, eyes closed, like she knew exactly what he was talking about. It might feel like a trap if they didn’t have each other. She was always more than enough.
After a beat of silence, she pulled back and looked at him sadly, like she knew something he didn’t. Which was odd given what she asked next. “Horacio, por favor, necesito saberlo. Why? Why did you do it?”
Why’d he do it? Why’d he do, what?
“I know it’s in there, I know you remember. You have to, or you’ll never make it out of here.”
He shook his head, squinting his eyes, confused and cranky like a kid prematurely woken up from a nap. “Make it out? I’m not gonna make it out. Not unless you help me. Look at–“ he motioned to his side, “Ni siquiera puedo andar, mija.”
“Yes, you can,” she insisted calmly, her eyes full of an inexplicable mix of hope and resignation.
What did she know that he didn’t?
“I don’t know anything you don’t know. You just don’t want to know it. But you have to try, tigre. Eso es la única manera de vengarte a él. No more cutting corners. No more deals with the devil. Eres mejor que eso, ya lo sabes.”
The devil. The devil. The flashing red light. Deals. Deals with the devil.
Ah. Calderoni. That. That fucking deal.
His own C.I.s in exchange for Calderoni’s intel on Agua Caliente, el Hipódromo, Carlos Hank Gonzalez. A bigger fish than the Arellanos. Even though he knew exactly what the family would do to the informants. They’d have to stop building bridges in Mexico to hang people from. He showed up in Tijuana to clean up Rebollo’s mess and gone ahead and made his own.
Still, she was never part of the deal. But he could guess how that happened. In some boardroom meeting he conveniently wasn’t present for, somehow “journalist” and “informant” got conflated. They were wise not to include him. Not only would he not have agreed, he would’ve ensured not a single one of them made it out of there on two feet and breathing.
So, is this what it’s like watching the boulder come crashing down the mountain for the hundredth? Thousandth? Millionth time?
Carrillo’s face fell with understanding. “But I can’t lose you.”
“Sí, pero lo tienes que hacer. You have work to do. Because I love you. And you love me. And you owe me. And,” she rolled her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then flashed a dangerous smile, “I want you to burn the whole motherfucking thing to the ground.”
Then, cradling the back of his neck with both hands, she leaned in, lips christening him on the forehead, each of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, coming to a close at his own. There was a finality to the kiss that made him dig in deeper as if he could hold her here without lifting a finger, an urgency she returned so fiercely, when they broke away both their lips were swollen and flushed. Not without passion, but it wasn’t carnal so much as the pure desperation of goodbye.
“Going after those pinshe shingamadres is the least you can do.” He hadn’t even registered tears at his eyes until she brushed one with her thumb that had escaped down onto his cheekbone and mused, “After all, you are the reason I’m dead.”
Slapped with a blast of air, his whole body jolted back to life, as he came to in a cold sweat, ceiling fan taunting him from above while he gasped for air and shivered against the damp sheets. He was so used to waking up violently like this, it didn’t even scare him anymore. Confused him a little, maybe. But reassurance was quick to follow and his breathing slowed as he relaxed, because ah, yes, he knew how to deal with the nightmares now.
Like clockwork, he reached for his life preserver, turning and throwing his arm over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel the warmth of her back, her shoulders, hear her steady breathing next to him. But his hand sailed straight through empty air and landed on the cold, vacant spot of the mattress instead.
He almost doubled over. Pain unlike anything.
Worse than when Trujillo first delivered the news to him in his office. Much worse. The perpetual renewal of shock that this was real and the place in that dingy room in his head was not, only sharpened the blow each time. But he deserved to be wounded and wounded like this over and over again. After all, he was responsible, she was right about that.
She wasn’t here to help him with the nightmares anymore. Now, she only lived in his.
taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc @narcolini
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What are your honest thoughts on:
Harriet Hook
Li'l (Lonnie's brother)
Claudine Frollo
Anthony Tremaine
Based on what you read about them?
1) Harriet Hook was barely mentioned at all in the books from what I remember, but I do like all the fanon about her being one of the oldest VKs & sort of a universal mom-friend on the Isle. I also love the HC that she’s taller than Harry & I like to picture her ragging him about it a little lol. I see her as being a tough sort of figure that demands respect but does genuinely look out for especially the younger kids on the Isle & is thus widely known & loved by VKs; she may have only played a small role in most of their lives but it was a good one. She can & will take on physical challenges on the behalf of others, altho most would step down if this happens. She’d never admit out loud how much she cares about people. She’ll tease her siblings & basically lives on her ship as soon as she’s old enough, but she is always there for them when they need her & anyone who talks shit about them where she can hear about it isn’t walking away without a bruise (or a talking to, when they’re too young to fight). However, she also knows enough to know when to let people handle their own battles, her siblings included. She knows how things work on the Isle all too well.
2. I know absolutely nothing about Li’l, if he was mentioned in canon I don’t remember where. I’ve seen some posts by @lilikohirukoma talk about him & I’m gonna default to those bc tbh for a while I thought he was somebody’s OC. I picture him being a lot younger than Lonnie, in the age where he still thinks his older sister is super cool (inevitably he will go thru the phase of thinking she’s too lame to be associated with before realizing she’s actually cool when they’re both older) & idk if that’s accurate to either canon or common fanon
3. Claudine Frollo shouldn’t exist I feel so bad for her. Who gave the disney villain who comes closest to being a s*x offender a daughter. Oh no. I really really hope she’s okay & Frollo just is strict with her upbringing in terms of moral righteousness & he never did anything worse to her than he already did to Quasimodo. If I’m being generous I can imagine Disney Frollo having some of the good characteristics of Victor Hugo’s Frollo & thus the potential to be a good parent but Disney Frollo is genuinely so much worse & less complex than OG Novel Frollo. All of the bad things without the compassion to have adopted Quasimodo willingly. Anyway this ended up being not as much about Claudine but basically if Frollo was a not-as-bad-as-he-could’ve-been parent I can see Claudine being quiet & largely isolated but kind of haughty & internally judgmental of her peers with a sense of moral superiority, and if Frollo was Irredeemably Bad I still seeing her being quiet & externally the same but coming more from a place of protecting herself, esp if she grew up being indoctrinated not to trust anyone but Frollo. Bc that’s exactly how he raised Quasi. Quasi did turn out well after all, so I have hope that she could have an abundant inner world and a lot to offer anyone who can get thru her shell & connect with her.
I don’t remember Claudine appearing much in canon but I had a very strong HOND phase so a lot of this is mostly based on that
4) Anthony Tremaine seems like a fun character from what I remember—cocky enough to ask Mal for a dance when everyone else in their class is afraid of her. I think he knows what he’s good at and knew in that moment he caught her off balance, but would also know enough to stay out of her way in a different situation. Raised by a family with a strong sense of Manners in the traditional sense, he’s good at subterfuge but bad in a physical fight. He would do well in a royal court. I imagine he’s a bit vain & prefers standing back & listening to all the gossip at school to participating in the gang fights. He probably thinks highly of himself for acquiring the “real power” of knowing things about people to use for blackmail but if someone threatened him with physical violence & he couldn’t talk his way out of it he’d go down immediately
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draw-you-coward · 10 months
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yeah maybe you reblogged that thing like 2 days ago but I'm going slow right now so if you still want to do the character ask thing, maybe mr Aloth Pillars of Eternity?
ogh im just happy to get one! lol
First impression: he's just a sweet lil lad. a sweet boy.. he seems so nice and shy and somewhat pathetic... i take pity on the lil squishy wizord in deadfire: damn aloth's old and cynical now lmAO
Impression now: this is tough bc i've slooowly started replaying deadfire and i forget most of my impression of him 🤔 I remember thinking that he makes a lot of very funny snarky comments and I liked how they gave him nervous stims esp with his hands. he just seems so done with all the bullshit and i feel that. I do wish he still had some of that sweet ladness left under all that cynicism though... but I think Rake thinks it's a little sexy
Favorite moment: bruh he propositioned Rake in the bathhouse literal seconds before tekehu did... i've been wanting to write a fic about it. besides that, there was a bit in the first game where rake failed a str check and aloth also failed a str check to help him and dislocated his shoulder and I just thought it was so sweet :-) so little rng things i guess... although i do like the comment he makes after you kill the memory monster in the wael dlc
Idea for a story: ok ok u know how i do like. vignettes. well i've been wanting to replay deadfire and sloowly make a fic abt their relationship? starting with the first time they enter the bathhouse maybe ahaha it'll be more playful in tone. my writing's improved a lot since i started the rake series and I still think about one comment I got that said they were so glad i was writing because barely anyone else did male watcher/aloth... 💀 i wrote like. three things and i still feel guilty about it sometimes
Unpopular opinion: oo boy! i feel like i stay so far away from fandom that i dont know what anyone thinks anyways LOL. ig just a general thing for me which is I'm not really a fan of romance? shippy stuff kinda gives me the ick 😅 For characters like aloth (esp bc i. dont like men lmao) I'm mostly drawn to their vibes and personality, and I really liked his whole wizard deal plus iselmyr and the abusive dad backstory ; i feel like there's a LOT of potential to dive into how that affects him that no one really explores
Favorite relationship: with edér :)) just two good ol boys. i like how theyre pals
Favorite headcanon: oo i dont really make these for characters esp if I like canon. i guess i'd like to further expand on how iselmyr functions for him, esp since in game it doesnt seem to follow specific rules or guidelines. does she come out when he's triggered? does she come out just to yell at me for friendly fire or to be upset when my unkillable ghost dog dies? how did he learn to function well in combat if she delivers attacks sometimes ("i dinnae con the spellybooks" girledfriend then woter u doing here? 😔) i guess i'd headcanon that there'd be a learning curve, esp since his first instinct was to fight/suppress her 🤔
from here pls feel free to send me more i love attention
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soullesserror · 9 months
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Okay I have a LOT of thoughts. I finished all of the teens as cats (just the pcs) and will be explaining most of my thoughts i had during designing them. Idk how many other people in the dndads fandom used to be warrior cats kids but if you were, this post is made for you specifically.
Remember these are very stylized cats and their genetics will not work like real cat’s genetics do. As long as you keep that in mind we cool. Also all of the teens are apprentices and this is gonna be a long post so buckle in
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Ok so Scary was arguably the easiest design for me, I struggled a bit with the stripes but I ended up really liking how they turned out. A lot of her fur look very sharp and pointy but actually have rounded edges bc she tries really hard to be edgy lol
I considered giving her black fur and markings but I liked the idea of her being a very muted brown so it looked like she has that type of fur, but really doesn’t. The skull stripes are just for fun, and the purple eye is a nod to how common she is designed with purple, and also the mix of love and fear. The marking over her eye is to represent eyeshadow if that makes sense?
I imagine her being in Riverclan, I was thinking Shadowclan at first but I really like the idea of this edgy and brooding teenager knowing Shadowclan is just that, but she’s not in that clan. Also, Riverclan is surrounded by water and guess which family is connected to water? That’s right, the Stamplers. Even though she is in Riverclan, she’s not originally from the clans. She and her mother were traveling loners and came across the clans, and Veronica met a Riverclan cat and decided they should join. Scary and Terry (still trying to come up with a warrior name) used to have the same name but Scary hated that so she changed hers to Scary.
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Lincoln was a bit more difficult and I wasn’t sure really what to do with him? But I knew I wanted his fur to be brown and if he was just standing he’d be very tall and kinda lanky. He has the shortest fur out of everyone and is easily the fastest, and the only one who can keep up is Scary. Most of the stripes are nods to the fact he is a soccer player. The face stripes being face paint, the hind legs being socks and those leg shields soccer players wear that I have no idea what they’re called in english. The tail is also kinda like the socks I guess? Yeah. It’s what inspired the leg ones at least. The eyes are different colors because I liked the idea of including something to represent yellow and red cards. The red one is actually just a really bright amber that looks red.
He is in windclan, but was found by Grant and Marco as a kit on the edge of the territory. He was barely one moon and they very quickly decided they need to take care of him, but they couldn’t stay in the clan to do so. So, the two left their respective clans and raised him, but when he was older (still apprentice age) they let him join Windclan. So now he’s there. As for his name? I have not figured one out. At least not a prefix, but I think it would be really funny if his future suffix is kick
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Taylor…. Taylor was such a struggle oh my god. Everything but the pose at least. I wanted to include black because I thought it’d fit him more?? But I didn’t know what to do for markings or if I should’ve even included markins and for a while I was considering making him a black and white cat but I didn’t like how that looked. Then I tried making him an albino cat because I gave him redish eyes (hinting at his demon heritage in canon) but I was like no. This is not Taylor. so I made him a fully black cat which I think is the look I like best?? Yeah.. Now for the markings. The biggest one is there because I wanted to include his jacket, and the ones on the hind legs are for boots and the tail one is just to blend it all in. The ears and head fur is kinda like his hair.
Okay so he’s in Thunderclan bc he should get to have his main character syndrome still and Thunderclan is my least favourite clan (mostly a joke) and I think all of the other Close-Foster-Freeman are also in Thunderclan, or at least they were before they died or left. Idk his family is so weird because of the whole timeline shift and I have no clue how to make that happen in a warriors au. So. Some help would be appreciated. His name is Bay because it sounds like Tay which.. Taylor. Yeah. I could go with his warrior name being Bayswift but. I think that is a bit on the nose?? Another option his having his suffix being infront of his prefix and then it could be Rapidbay
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Normal was. Not really a struggle? Mostly with his body markings. I knew I wanted him to have an undertone of blue because of Teeny and blue being Love. Also why his eyes are very bright blue. The head markings were the easiest because it looks like he has a mask or helmet of some sort, and he has a lot more rounded features than everyone else. the body markings are also kind of like he’s wearing something? If that makes any sense at all. I also think he would look more like Rebecca than Lark and Sparrow, at least color wise, because then nobody would know who is actually his dad. And even if he did look like them, they are identical. Idk I just think it would be interesting if Hero looked like Lark and Sparrow and Normal like Rebecca because of the whole chosen thing and all. They are from different litters btw, but they were both the only ones from their respective litters.
Now if you’ve been keeping track you’d know he is in Shadowclan, and that is because opposite from Scary I think the idea of him being in this dark and brooding clan is hilarious because he is soo cheery and happy all the time and almost all of the cats in the clan dislike it. His mentor is (was) Tony Pepperoni. He is the only one with a mentor so far. I think he’s not really considered a part of the clan, because both Lark and Sparrow were originally born in Windclan and switched to Shadowclan, Sparrow for Rebecca and Lark for Sparrow. I think Rebecca would’ve joined the clan when she was a fully grown cat but still considered young in warriors terms, so around 20 moons which in real life is almost 2 years. So, he’s only a fourth clan cat. Now for his name I am not sure (again) but I think his suffix would be mask and his prefix.. maybe I’ll just google the most basic warrior cats prefix and take that one
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utopianparody · 1 year
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Journal having possible BPD; an analysis
you read the title, im going to write on why i think Journal from PPT2 has traits of borderline personality disorder bc im very normal about this character and i like to study him like an ant (also i have bpd myself)
NOTES:
i already wrote down a thread on twitter so this is like a repost here
pwBPD stands for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, im typing this since im going to use the short version of said phrase
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1) impulsive actions
knowing that Journal had an important task to stop Mr. Hand from escaping, it's no doubt that he would commit risks (even unplanned) to do his work, including;
- forcing himself to stay up to the point he barely had any sleep
- getting himself wet in the rain (since paper-based objects shouldnt be out on the water for too long)
- breaking relationships with others
there are other actions that i might have missed but these are the ones i could remember. in case you do not know, impulsivity is very common within pwBPD.
while things like consuming drugs and unsafe sexual intercourse arent included in the above list (i mean, ofc, this show doesn't contain adult themes especially when majority of its fanbase are minors), damaging positive relationships is part of this impulsivness.
2) unstable realtionships / splitting
as said before, Journal had seen breaking his positive relationships with others, notably with Treasure Chest and Post-It Note, over something they had said or did once.
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that being TC with his immunity token and Post-It wanting to take a break from work, in which causes him to lash out on them for those reasons above. he was also seen acting negatively towards Ukulele and Bubble Wrap.
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Journal's actions above can be similar to splitting (a BPD-exclusive term in which pwBPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white), and it may contribute to relationships not being stable. it is possible for splitting episodes to be triggered from minor events or inconveniences (as said about TC and Post-It above)
3) intense emotions
Journal was seen to be more irritable as episodes went by, as his recent behavior include being bitter towards someone and having to easily lash out. he was also seen having fights and arguments with others characters, especially with Treasure Chest ever since episode 9 until 12.
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One of the symptoms of BPD is that a person rapidly changes their emotions and even often.
he does not only have intense anger, but as well as intense fear or paranoia, and because of his stress-related paranoia, he feels more intensely than the others do.
4) psychosis
Journal is canonically psychotic as he had hallucinations shown on-screen twice. his hallucinations caused him to become more paranoid or, as in the recent episode, have a panic attack.
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some pwBPD may likely have psychotic symptoms, although not common, it can still be possible.
5) favorite person
Journal likely has Post-It Note as his favorite person (fp for short). He seems to have a alot of trust with Post-It since he was the only one who tried to understand his struggles and is wiling to help Journal out on his work.
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although, since episode 11, after Post-It Note said that he wanted to relax fron work for a bit and calmly told him to calm down, Journal got devistated and got angry at him for it, so he distanced himself from Post-It Note and continues to work by himself without his help.
"how would this tie to him having an fp?"
in some cases, pwBPD tend to put high (mostly unachievable) standards for their fp(s), and if those standards arent met, they will start splitting and push their fp(s) away for it.
even Journal's standard put on Post-It Note isnt as ridiculously high, Journal did lash out on him for not meeting it and this did end up hurting both parties at the end.
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conclusion:
because of how his behavior connect to BPD symptoms listed above (there might be more that i might have missed), he is likely (if not heavily) implied to have borderline personality disorder
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alitgblog · 1 month
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vol vi thoughts bc fusebox keeps bringing me back
although we're in casa so ya know.... story is bound to get bad soon after casa
first of all, Hari. im so disappointed with his sprite because I'd so go for him for looks alone otherwise (his hair is nice and hes indian and hes got the rohan sort of physique albeit more muscle-y). but somethings up with his face and his eyes are a little red and his torso is doing the thing Vicki does, so he just feels like a leftover from S7 (and what a shame bc Tyler is drawn so well but barely gets time to impress us in the villa!)
OK anyway personality wise though hes giving nothing. Bombshells gotta cause more chaos and I think he'd be a fine and dandy OG in the real show but he's just kinda here. I mean idk maybe I tapped through his dialogue too quickly but in my head rn he's similar level to Elliot. Elliot I can at least make gamer jokes about and the girls had more to say about him than just: he's hot, and MC should go for him. that being said what I'm about to reveal i did in a few bullet points will not make sense.
The note was obviously gonna be from Jin (your LI), so them dragging it out was a little annoying. And I have personal opinion on what types of things should be gem choices and part of that is having a good enough excuse not to go through with it and I think not reading the note for no reason is not good enough. Anyway I did choose to read the note and it's sweet and references Jin's whole "funny guy but now I'm serious about you" shtick and I just wish they write that a little differently but it's still cute.
Then we get Bea's messages and it's odd bc I can't think of a reason or another season on the show that they dragged out the bombshells arrival like this. Like first of all, they might as well have given a message to Theo as well instead of just Oakley and Hari. But even more than that, why put the messages at all? just to have a cliffhanger at the end of the episode? I think just straight up during the sports day challenge, have someone read a text that a new couple is joining, and then bam it's Jin and Bea. maybe one text from her but the multiple was bugging me.
I also don't know why I got it in my head that Bea was gonna flirt with Theo/Claudia depending on who you flirted with, plus also your current LI but like that would've been a nice addition since I think Theo and Claudia should be done for but they don't make it clear???
Oakley messing with Emel about the drink was funny ngl, but I do miss the routes not merging because it just doesn't make sense to me having Oakley do that. Jack or Jin, maybe, but Oakley is the silent, serious type. Like in my head, he's more like Noah.
There is very briefly a few friendship moments between MC and Theo this volume and in my head they are besties and I wish that was canon/more explicit because I'm not going after him anyway. That way you get the friends who get closer and become lovers storyline from either Theo or Claudia and the other you still get to be friends with.
I'm surprised Claudia and Theo aren't just fully broken up because Claudia is asking for advice and I'm like, did yall not already get that sorted?? it's been so long. One of them should just go for the bombshells.
A chat with Claudia! finally! (albeit a gem scene) I thought we'd get to know more about her but it's mostly just a game of word association which is odd. I will say admitting that MC associates love with Jin made me laugh bc I'm cruel
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The girls then say that MC needs to graft on Hari because they're both single and I get the support, but also MC is still getting over Jin lol.
Remember how I said the way I'm gonna play this doesn't make sense? Okay so I decided I needed to create my own mess, just to see if fusebox is gonna let my MC have consequences for her actions. So this is for science, in a way... Okay. So I may have let my MC flirt with Hari. And then maybe she got a sexy massage from him. And then maybe they kissed. What can I say? She's out of her mind without Jin. 🤣
okay no but seriously, in my head she does start to revert to her old ways, her old type, but she knows Hari isn't right for her. She misses Jin but she's not used to having a connection so fast with someone. And when he's gone she misses him but over the course of the day after putting on her brave face, she's convinced herself she's overthinking it. the letter was sweet but it scared her a little. she knows he was gonna ask her to be exclusive and she freaked a little. she just needs a little distraction....
I enjoy sports day but in my head it's usually a late in the show game. Like around in S2 when they have the bird thing happening or the S4 musical (OK maybe not that late, like probably pre baby challenge, but it's generally a challenge with very little drama is my point). still it was fun to have here.
and then of course return of the king, Jin comes back. and with the way I've been doing shit, yes, MC did kiss Hari when Jin entered and ohhhh he was upset.
Bea is cute but playful and still competitive and okay she goes for your couple, but also I get like Chelsea vibes from her (no canon reason why, I just think it's the hair) so love her.
Double date is so fun when your other partner is nearby, like it's almost enough to forget they did the same thing in season 5 because it's so much better this time around.
for fun and for angst I just imagine in the show, mid date they cut to a beach hut scene where MC is like "yeah I had a fun time with Hari but he when he was talking about all the things he wants in a life partner, I kept thinking about how I want that with Jin." 🥺
anyway yeah bring back beach hut
So I'm not a big fan of how they introduced the bombshells and LI return but it's not bad. I just think we could've gotten more time with Jin, Hari, and Bea. It's unclear but I think it's implied Jin, Hari, Bea, and MC are all single and I hope that's true because that way there will be little consequence (as in no sudden dumping) if you or another one of those characters brings someone from casa. because you're not in a couple anyway. (I mean I always hope there's no Dumping immediately after casa bc the arguments are more fun but this is how they've been doing it recently and i think part of that is bc of how they force the routes to merge)
it's also nice we don't get immediately stolen from our partner a la Tom/Cora entrance (or Elliot/Chloe) but it's sort of implied with how the sports day couples went? like I wish there was just a little more time before Casa so it's clear they're all single
or fuck it, give us a recoupling and post casa don't dump the other LI right away if you switch. Like you should be able to make up with your LI or not and it's boys choice and if they wanna keep the slow burn Theo picks last I guess and gets Bea just to also fix the Theo and Claudia together but not storyline. Maybe between your original LI and Hari, one of them picks Claudia (or give us another mlm couple if you're on a Claudia route and let him couple with Theo lmao)
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