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#most times the videos had nothing to do with the assignment but since the whole class was involved they let it be
quemirabobo · 2 years
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Looking back to high school, my friends and i took every opportunity we had (and those we didn't we took them anyway) to act in the most awkward way possible
#I'm not talking about behavior (although it would also be true)#I'm talking about acting#we turned every presentation as an excuse to act and deliver the most terrible performance with 98% inside jokes that no one understood#it was so fun and out of the blue i would do it all over again#we also had theater classes and we acted everytime we could but with the same principle#of course everything we did was weird as fuck or in best case scenario a comedy#our logic was 'they bully and cast us outside regardless what we do‚ let's have fun' and we did#and when our classmates stopped hating us (the group of girls who treated us like shit changed classes and then the rest realized#we couldn't care less about them and I was friend with one of them so they were chill only the last year)#so we pulled them all into the madness and every presentation ended up as a video from all the class doing the most weird shit ever#and of course with the bloopers#most times the videos had nothing to do with the assignment but since the whole class was involved they let it be#but the other 5 years when we were from 4 to 6/7 girls? i think the teachers thought that since we embarrassed ourselves it would be mean#to fail us‚ or maybe they thought we were hilarious as fuck‚ or (probably the most realistic) they knew that our lives were a complete mess#so they looked the other side#but honestly i have no idea how we passed that history class when we had to make a presentation about renown people and all we did was#print Madame Curie face (it ended up green because the printer was almost dead) cut the eyes so i could see and use it as a fucking mask#one of my friend was 'the teacher' who announced that 'look who came to today's class' and i appeared talking with an accent that i used to#make because we thought it was funny (not even russian) and started to talk about radioactivity (literally reading the paper while trying#to not laugh) while my friends were openly laughing so still 'in character' (we barely knew anything about her) i started to scold them#the teacher of course didn't understand why the fuck we were acting but she laughed either way#and thought we were funny enough so we passed 🙌#anyways#chronicles of Yu's life
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borahaerhy · 1 year
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Hey. This is my first time requesting an imagine from anyone really. I saw that your requests were open and I REALLY enjoyed the mine|jjk one you wrote. If I could, could I request an enemies to lovers jjk imagine with a possesive jungkook. I’ll leave the warnings to your own digression but can I request screaming at each other and praise links 💀😂
:))))
You're Pretty When You're Mad - jjk
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Genre: SMUT, angst, fluff, Lawyer!Jungkook
Warnings: Jungkook's a hotshot lawyer that takes credit for his female coworkers work and that's kinda infuriating, they're also defending someone who probably literally unalived their wife, Y/n's kinda mean, possessive!Jungkook, Jungkook's kinda mean, drinking, cursing, clothed sex, unprotected sex (no), multiple orgasms, Praise kink, slight Dom JK, he calls her princess, lmk if I missed something bc I'm sure I did lol
Word count: 3.9K
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Ugh
Monday 
It’s easily the worst day of the week. You just spent the past few days off and relaxing, spending time with family and friends; going out or staying in with a good movie or book to occupy your mind. 
But Monday started the week, the first day back and with no ending in sight. The misery that accompanies waking up at 5:30 on a Monday morning rivaled nothing. 
Except for maybe the hatred you had accumulated for Jeon Jungkook. 
You hadn’t always hated Monday’s to this extreme. I mean sure, like everyone else, you didn’t enjoy them or look forward to them, but they were just another day before. 
Not until you started working at your new job, an internship at the most reputable local law firm in the area; where Jungkook had been a partner, and a damn good one at that. 
He was good at his job, sure, but god was he cocky. Anyone that hired him had to pay big money, but they knew they were walking away with whatever they wanted. 
And you, the pretty little intern fresh out of law school, just happened to fall victim to the man's ego.
Most interns aren’t taken too seriously, they get coffee and make runs, sometimes they’ll be assigned with a bigger lawyer to help organize cases, and only after they’ve proven themselves will they get a case of their own. 
You, however, managed to prove yourself pretty quickly, or so you thought, whenever you’d been assigned to assist Jungkook in a case.
You read through everything while helping him get everything organized one night, and noticed something that he hadn’t; the alibi for one of the suspects didn’t check out, as a time-stamped video proved he was not only not where he said he was, but on the complete other side of the country. 
When you told Jungkook, he took all the credit. He said you helped, of course, but he was the one that obviously found the error, and won that case. 
And then it happened a second time. And a third, until Jungkook just insisted that you needed to be his little assistant, since you were so good at helping him stay organized so that he could focus on what was actually important. 
There was nothing you could do, really. The highest paid lawyer with the most cases won in the state, and you, someone who’s less than a year out of college and barely old enough to be taken seriously. There’s only one person they’d believe; and it’s your word against his. 
Not to mention he was just an asshole. 
“Goodmorning, Y/n. Have a good weekend?” Jungkook’s voice had a teasing tone to it, knowing just how much you hated having to work with him at this point; something he seemed to really enjoy. 
You glared over at him before you set your stuff down at your desk, which was now pushed into the corner of his office, per his request. He chuckled as you looked away from him, your exasperated sigh music to his ears as you plopped down in your seat. 
“I had a great weekend, thanks for asking. Well, I assume I did. I got drunk on Friday and woke up this morning, not remembering a goddamn thing the whole time. Did wake up with a few hickies though, so someone had fun,” Asshole. 
While he had plenty reason to be cocky because of his career, he was also cocky because of his looks, and because of the women they earned him. If you didn’t work for him, you in all honesty probably would have thrown yourself at him by now. You even remember being nervous the first time you were appointed to work with him because he was just so attractive. 
That really wore off fast, though. 
He was still hot, sure, but he was also the most infuriating person ever. 
“So I’m assuming you didn’t have time to go over the case you have this afternoon?” You didn’t bother looking at him as you took some papers out of your briefcase, something your family had gotten you as a graduation present to help you look more official. 
“No, but I’m lucky my lovely assistant no doubt already has everything organized and ready for me,” You stood up from your desk, a folder with his copy of everything he needed to walk into the courtroom in a few hours, barring his own personal notes about arguments he needs to make and points to drive his argument home. 
“I’m not your assistant,” You dropped the folder on his desk before you marched your way back to yours, arms crossed over your chest. 
The trial Jungkook had to attend today was for the defense of a man accused of killing his wife. It was obvious he did it; and even if he didn’t, it really looked like he did. His alibi was that he was camping in the woods with his brother, who testified for him, but that doesn’t offer much to the court seeing as family is never a reputable source when it comes to an alibi. 
He also already had a record, petty theft and a few DUI’s. All non-violent crimes, but it still doesn’t play very well in his favor.  There’s also a history of affairs according to friend and family testimony from both the victim and accused. 
At his bail hearing, he practically fucked himself when we regretfully put him on the stand. He showed no emotion, and forgot his cover story half-way through. 
“Oh yeah, this guy. What argument should I use?” You sighed, hating to give him the answers, but knowing that when applying to other firms, a history of wins, even if while partnered with a more experienced lawyer, could only be a bonus. 
“Someone else’s fingerprints were on the murder weapon, but his weren’t, and there was no evidence that he, or anyone, cleaned it off. He’s been having an affair with a woman named Joan Roberts. She’s going to be there today, and I’ve already asked her, she’s willing to testify that she was with him the night of the murder; you just need to convince him before we go in to break down on the stand and confess the truth: he lied previously because he felt so bad about cheating on his wife during her murder,” You paused to take a sip of your coffee, before you turned your attention back to the papers in front of you. 
“Drive home the murder weapon and act surprised when he breaks down on the stand; question him just thoroughly enough that it’s believable that you drilling him while also getting him out of there before he fucks himself into a life sentence, then call his mistress up. She seems a lot smarter than him but I’d be cautious of asking her too much. There’s a list of questions I have written out for both of them, along with questions to ask his brother if he bitches out of admitting to the affair,” 
Even Jungkook seemed impressed, an emotion he rarely showed while working with you. Most of the time, you just came to the same conclusions he would’ve; he’s still an amazing lawyer, he just found a way to not have to work as hard: and that’s you. 
He stood up from his desk and walked over to you, the case folder still in his hand. 
“Thanks babe,” He leaned down and swiftly kissed the top of your head, moving away quickly so as to avoid your clenched fist flying toward his face. 
-
“Not guilty.” 
The courtroom filled with chatter as the jury read their verdict, the judge hammering her gavel while the defense team all stood and celebrated with sweaty hugs and swift handshakes. You simply stood and exited, taking your things with you. 
It was the end of a long day, and you were looking forward to going home. 
“Y/n, wait!” You turned around after you were already halfway down the courthouses front steps; maybe 30 feet away from your car that could take you home, to your stand-offish cat and extremely comfortable bed. “Why don’t you come out with us tonight?” You looked at him suspiciously, his lip clutched between his teeth as he teetered back and forth from his heels to his toes. Why does he look like that? 
“Why would I want to do that?” You turned fully to face him, arms crossed over your chest and your hip cocked out to the side. 
“Because we just won what looked like an impossible case, and you definitely helped with that,” 
“Helped?” He smiled lightly at your aggravated tone, before he descended the steps so he could stand closer to you. 
“Okay, okay, you did all the work, but that’s why I think you should come celebrate with us. Just tonight, I’ll even pay for your drinks,” You thought for a moment, never really having been a person to turn down free drinks - well, free anything, actually.
“Fine, only for an hour though; then I’m going home,” You turned back around and continued down the steps, making a b-line for your car. 
-
 You stepped into the moderately crowded bar wearing the shortest black dress you owned, the plunging neckline really making sure everyone had their eyes on you. 
“Damn, Y/n. You know you look really good outside of a pantsuit?” You plastered on a sarcastic smile, turning to see Jungkook; who you hated to admit looked damn good. 
“Where’s my free drink?” The smirk on his face only grew wider as he raised his hands in defense, slowly backing up towards the bar. 
“Hey, Kev, get my friend one of your finest alcohol beverages, please,” You rolled your eyes.
“A beer please, whatever you have on tap,” He nodded and walked away, only staying gone for a few short moments before reappearing with a full drink in his hands. “Thanks.” 
“What do you even do in your free time? You never come out with us, and you showed up alone, which tells me you don’t have a man-” 
“I prefer to spend my time being productive rather than getting shitfaced on a Monday night,” He smirked, taking a sip of his drink. 
“So no boyfriend, then?” You sighed before taking a drink, probably a bit more than you needed for having just gotten there. 
“Why do you want to know, Jeon?” He raised his hands in defense again, not doing a very good job at hiding his attraction to you from his face. 
“Hey, I’m just making small talk,” He shook his head lightly, his cheeks tinted pink from the alcohol he’d already consumed. He leaned against the side of the bar you were now sitting at, his eyes moving all over your face, taking in each of your features carefully before moving on to the next. He’d always known you were pretty, but here, dressed like that and with a few drinks in his system, he could swear he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life. 
“Why don’t you go away and come back in 5 minutes when I need a new drink,” He chuckled, letting his head fall slightly in defeat before he pushed himself from the counter and did what you asked. 
-
“Oh wow, didn’t think they made lawyers this hot,” You chuckled at his response, his hand drawing patterns into your thigh as he stood in front of you, you sitting backwards of the stool to face him, drink in hand. 
He wasn’t relationship material, by any means, but he’d do for the night. You had a lot of pent-up stress, and he could probably help out with that. Not to mention, Jungkook watching you leave with some random guy would probably knock him down a few pegs. 
“Mmm, and I didn’t know they made people as pretty as you this bad at flirting,” He feigned hurt, hand not slowly moving up the outside of your leg moved to clutch his chest before his smirk resumed, and his hand moved to the bar, effectively pinning you between it and him. 
“I might be bad at flirting, but let me show you something I’m good at,” his face was centimeters from yours, his fingers moving under your dress before they were abruptly ripped away from you, along with the rest of him. “What the hell, man?” 
Jungkook was in the man's face, both taller and bigger than him as he stared him down. 
“She’s not interested, go find someone else to hump,” His voice was so low you barely heard him, his eyes dark and muscles flexed as anger coursed through him. 
“Uh, she seemed pretty interested to me,” Jungkook pushed him, he pushed him hard. He stumbled back into a table, knocking over everything on it and causing a few people to jump up. 
You stood from your seat, no longer amused by the show in front of you. 
“What the fuck, Jungkook? What are you trying to do?” Jungkook turned back to look at you as you pulled on his arm, trying to get him to focus on anything other than the guy that he seemed about ready to beat the shit out of. 
“Hey, all of you, out.” 
You glared over at Jungkook as you grabbed your bag. You shot down the rest of your drink before you turned to walk out of the building along with the two men who seemed to be fighting over you, the security making sure you all get out. 
You opened your phone as soon as you were outside, opening the uber app as you were not about to drive home in your state. 
“I’ll drive you home,” You looked up to see Jungkook, a lot calmer than just minutes before with his hands in his pockets and his hair blowing around in the wind. 
“No thanks,” 
“Y/n-” 
“Aren’t you drunk?” He sighed, looking you up and down. 
“I stopped drinking after you got here,” you furrowed your eyebrows. 
“Why would you do something like that?” 
“Do you want the ride or not?” You looked at him for a moment before you sighed and straightened yourself out, turning toward him, accepting his offer.
-
You stopped outside of your building, Jungkook’s car shutting off as you unbuckled your seatbelt. You looked over at him as he clicked his off too, and opened his door. 
“What are you doing?” 
“You live in a shitty neighborhood, I’m making sure you don’t get murdered on the way up.” 
“That’s fine, I literally do this everyday,” Jungkook rolled his eyes and got out of the car before he leaned back down to look at you. 
“Just get out of the car,” You huffed but obliged, not really wanting to stay in it anyway. 
You walked into the building and got into the elevator, which had a ways up to go before you got to your floor. 
“Is there a reason you decided to fight people?” You asked, the bravery from the alcohol still coursing through your veins, even now as you felt mostly sober. He sighed heavily, leaning his back against the wall. 
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you scoffed, turning your body to face him fully. 
“Well that matters not at all, why the fuck did you feel the need to do that?” 
“I just didn’t like that guy, all right? He seemed sketchy,” His voice was raised as he answered, hands moving around with no real rhyme or reason. 
“He wasn’t, and even if he was, so are most guys you meet in bars on a Monday at 8pm,” 
“Yeah, no shit, that’s why I didn’t want that guy knowing where you lived or you going back to his place, that just has bad idea written all over it, Y/n,” 
“And? What gives you the right to make my decisions for me? You spend most of your time making my life a living hell and bragging about all the women you take home but I’m not allowed to go home with someone?” You were definitely yelling at this point, and the elevator doors were definitely open and on your floor. 
“No, you’re not!” He yelled back, and it honestly had you taken back a little bit. You scoffed before you stepped out of the elevator and started walking back to your apartment. 
“Y/n!” He followed you out of the elevator, walking just as briskly and angrily as you. 
“Why the fuck not?” You yelled, spinning around just in front of your door before you were pushed against it, strong arms closing you in and lips smothering yours in a way that you’d never experienced before. 
You were pissed, sure, but there was something that turned you on about being pressed up against your front door by the extremely hot man that regularly pissed you off to no end. 
You were quickly tangled together, one of your legs hiked up as he gripped your ass, his hips pushing you back into the door as he bit your lip, his tongue soothing it after before it quickly entered between your parted lips. 
“Keys,” He muttered against you after trying to open your locked door, his lips glued to your neck as you rummaged through your purse to find them. 
You quickly unlocked your door and rushed in, Jungkook quickly shoving you back against it to close it. You kicked your shoes off before he pulled your thighs up to wrap around his waist, your arms wrapped around his neck to hold you steady as he unbuckled his belt and pushed your panties to the side. 
Less than sixty seconds ago you were screaming at each other in an elevator, now he was sliding his admittedly massive dick into you while biting down on the base of your neck. 
“Fuck, princess, you’re so fucking wet,” You moaned lightly into his ear, his words and dick filling you perfectly as he fucked into you at a steady pace. His hands gripped your ass as his mouth left sloppy wet kisses on any exposed skin he could reach. “If fighting with me turns you on this much, I can only imagine the state you're in at work.” 
His thrusts speed up as your pussy swallows him whole, your fingers tangling in his hair and pulling it back, bringing his gaze to meet yours. 
“Do you want to fuck me or piss me off?” His smirk returns as he watches you hold back moans as he hits your g-spot roughly, the door shaking behind you so hard anyone in the hallway would definitely know what’s going on. 
“Both,” He pushed you further into the door, re-adjust himself to have a better grip on you before he pulled you away from it, legs still wrapped around him and his dick still in you. He turned around and walked straight over to your couch still fucking into you. 
You fall back onto your couch, Jungkook on top on you, dick thrusting furiously as his fingers wrapped snugly around your throat. 
“You’re so fucking pretty when you’re mad,” His free hand moved up your dress and cupped your breast, pinching your nipple and pulling it just as roughly as he fucks you. “Jesus christ, I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without bending you over my desk,” you moaned loudly, both hands gripping to the arm that held your throat as your eyes rolled back into your head. 
He pounded into you relentlessly, your pussy clenched around him as his dick begged you to cum. His fingers moved to be around your clit, pinching and circling it as he felt you nearing your orgasm. 
“You’re so good when you’re getting fucked, y’know that, baby?” You moaned as he thrust harder, his skilled fingers taking care of you easily, your orgasm overtaking you before he could even finish his thought. His pace slowed down considerably as he rode you through your high, fingers still moving for a few seconds before they moved to his mouth to be cleaned off, then to cup your cheek. 
“Just lay there and look pretty while I make you feel good,” Jungkook’s thrusts stopped as your orgasm subsided, your pussy still clenching around his dick that was still buried inside you. His lips were on yours with sloppy kisses, much slower than before; this time they almost felt as if they had depth to them, like they had feelings aside from desire and loathing. “Want me to make you feel good again, princess?” 
His hand rested on your chin, his thumb rubbing it as he looked back and forth between your eyes. You nodded softly, a soft ‘yeah’ escaping your lips as you looked at him the same way. 
“Yeah?” His voice soft as he mimicked you, making sure you wanted him to. You did. 
“Yeah,” though your words were inaudible to you, he must’ve heard them as his lips found yours again before he pulled out, and thrust back in hard and deep, deeper than he had been before. 
He fucked you differently this time. With less desperation and more compassion, his hands dancing across your skin delicately as he stripped you of your dress; his lips gently gliding across your burning skin as it became exposed to him before meeting yours again. He kissed you with passion, taking time to really drink you in as his hands caressed every part of you he could reach, as if he had to replicate you completely from memory later on. 
His hips moved with purpose, gliding in and out with rhythm and at a deliciously deep angle that he could feel how much you liked. 
“So beautiful,” the words whispered in your ear, his hot breath tingled against you, sending shivers everywhere. “So good for me,” he moaned before kissing the skin below your ear, soft whimpers embedded in the back of his throat as he sent you over the edge for a second time, this orgasm much more powerful than the last; and his followed soon after. 
Your bodies collapsed into each other, no longer having the strength to hold yourselves up anymore. His head laid on your chest as you gently brushed your fingers through his hair. Sleep soon came over you, the heat from Jungkook’s body covering you accompanied with the overwhelming sense of peace that followed your orgasm had no problem in knocking you out. 
Your soft snores only made Jungkook smile before he reluctantly pushed himself off of you. He moved the hair from your face, seeing you look so peaceful was something he wasn’t very used to seeing, but something he definitely wouldn’t mind becoming acquainted with. 
He got up and redressed himself, before scooping you up in his arms and carrying you back to your bedroom. As he laid you down and pulled the blankets over you, he wanted nothing more than to crawl in with you and drift off the peaceful land you’d already found yourself to be a part of, but he decided against it. 
He knew that if you’d wake up with him in your bed, it’d make you weird. You wouldn’t insult him, call him an idiot and tell him off. You’d be awkward, which he had to admit, he definitely missed from your early days at the firm, but it wasn’t the you he’d grown to respect and admire. 
So he left, knowing that the next day you’d walk into the office as if nothing happened. He’d be cocky, you’d get mad, and he could finally bend you over that desk like he’s always wanted.
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pensat-i-fet · 11 months
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I want you to stay (Pablo Gavi x Reader)
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**Another cute fluffy request I had a great time writing. Apologies to any Danish speakers if the article I used for the few words in your language that I included deceived me. And enjoy reading! ❤️❤️ **
Word count: 2726
Masterlist
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“Why don’t you come to my office later so we can go through the different internship options?”
“Sure. Is 4 ok?”
“Perfect. See you there”.
You left your class ready to pick up some food on your little break before the last two lessons of the day. Finally, after two years in uni, it was time to look at potential internships. You knew that was what could really get you a job after uni, not just the good grades.
At 3.55, always punctual, you arrived at your professor’s office. And when you got inside, you noticed all the pieces of paper on her desk.
“Hi. Sorry I’m early”.
“It’s ok, sit down, please. So, we’ve got a lot of options here for you. Let me tell you about them”.
She went through all the possible internships and it was a bit overwhelming for you. You expected two or three…not fifteen.
“Roger really wants this one but I think you’d be a better candidate”.
That caught your attention. Roger had been your nemesis during the whole time you were in uni. Always fighting to see who got the best grades and overall being way too competitive. So…the idea of taking the internship he wanted was appealing.
“It’s for Barça. They need someone for their media team. You know, to script and help film the videos for social media”.
“Why do you think I’m a good candidate? If you don’t mind me asking. It’s just that I’m not a football fan”.
“I know, but you are the most creative. Your ideas for assignments have always been the most original and I think you’d fit right in. Football is secondary. They won’t be expecting you to know about it. Just to create content the fans like”.
There wasn’t much time to think about it so you quickly thought about all the pros and cons for each option. And even if you weren’t too proud to say it, the biggest pro ended up being pissing your enemy off.
“I’ll take the Barça job”.
Three weeks later, you were in the Barça offices, being told everything that was expected from you and it was a lot. Did they realise you were just an intern and still had to do a lot of things for uni?
“Some players are a bit more…complicated”.
“You mean they are divas”, nothing you didn’t expect.
“I meant shy. Divas are great for this, actually. They love talking on camera. The shy ones…”.
“Who’s the one you struggle with the most?”, you asked, now curious.
“Gavi. And we know him being in the videos will give us so many more views but he just doesn’t want to do them. He gets too uncomfortable and we don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do”.
Even if you weren’t a big football fan, you knew Gavi. Who in Barcelona didn’t? But it surprised you to find out he was shy. He didn’t look it on the pitch.
“I can help with that”, your statement was met with a raised eyebrow. “What?”
“If you get Gavi to be in more than one video, I’ll give you a real contract. Not just an internship”.
You laughed nervously. He was joking, right?
“I’m not joking. I know you have great references from teachers but those of us who’ve known him since he was a little boy can’t get him to do it so I’m not sure how you’d be able to".
“I’ll find a way”.
If there was something you loved, it was a challenge.
                                        **
For your first couple of days, you didn’t really get to bring your ideas to the table but to see how everyone else worked. You tried to absorb as much information as possible.
“So…what would you like to do for your first video?”, asked one of your new colleagues.
“I thought a challenge could be fun. There is a Champions League match coming so how about a language one? We have a Danish speaker in the team, so we can get another player to try and say something in his language. It’s always fun to see them getting it all wrong”.
“Sounds great. We haven’t used Andreas much for videos either so good idea. Who do you think should be the other player?”
“Gavi”.
Did he really snort? “We can’t get him to speak Spanish and you want him to speak Danish. Are you a secret Madrid fan?”
“No, I just think it’s time for him to do more videos. I’ll sort it out”.
“You keep dreaming big. I guess it’s good for our profession”.
All these comments were getting to you. How hard could it be to get Gavi to film a video?
“Ga…”, should you call him by his nickname or his real name? Maybe nickname is better. “Gavi! Hi! Could you come here a second?”
He turned to look at whoever was talking to him while he was on his way to the dressing room. That voice…he didn’t recognise it.
“Who is…hi. Sorry, who are you?”
“I’m new here. I’m working for the media team and need you to do a video for us so I wanted to let you know in person. Just in case you had questions about it”.
“I don’t…have you not been told I don’t like being in videos?”
You realised then how shy he really was. And you actually found that so cute.
“I have. But I think it’ll be good for you to do them more often. So you get used to it. Do you like Christensen?”
“Sure. He’s really nice”.
“Amazing! You’re doing a video with him tomorrow at 2. See you there!”
The option of not giving him time to refuse wasn’t perfect but it’d have to do for now. You left the area with a little smile on your face. But because you didn’t stay to see his reaction, you didn’t see Gavi was smiling too. He didn’t know where you came from all of a sudden but he was intrigued. And if filming a video was the way to get to know you…well, maybe it was time to face his fears.
                                    **
“He’s actually here”, said one of the cameramen, making you look at him.
“Who?”
“Gavi”.
You couldn’t hide your smile when you turned to look at him. He looked so out of place. And then you noticed some movement by the door.
“Who’s there?”
“My stupid teammates who have been mocking me since they found out I’m filming a video”, said Gavi, rolling his eyes.
“Do you want me to kick them out? I can look very scary”.
He just laughed and shook his head. And you left him there to keep on getting everything ready for the video. Gavi kept looking at you moving around the room and then noticed his phone buzzing.
[Barça groupchat]: now we know why you said yes to the video 🤣
He shook his head again and locked the phone, taking a final look at his teammates who left laughing at him.
“Ok boys, sit there and here you have the script, Andreas. We just need you to read the sentences so Gavi can copy you and then guess what it means”.
“Right”, said Gavi, swallowing and wondering why he got himself in this mess.
“I’ll go easy on you, don’t worry”, laughed Andreas.
And so they started to film the video. The little intro you had written for them took longer than you thought and you ended up asking Andreas to say the lines instead to see if he was more comfortable in front of the camera.
“Stop worrying”, you told Gavi, touching his shoulder. “Just forget about the camera. You’re here with your teammate, who you get on well with. Imagine you’re chatting in the dressing room before the match. It’s just you two here”.
“And you”.
“Do you want me to leave?”, you joked.
“No. I want you to stay”.
Now it was your time to be nervous, feeling his intense gaze on you. But you just nodded and left to go back behind the camera.
“Hvordan har du det?”, said Andres, making Gavi stare at him with wide eyes.
“Oh God…can you do it word by word?”
And so Andreas did, slowly pronouncing each word and waiting for his teammate to repeat them.
“That wasn’t bad. What do you think it means?”
“No clue”, laughed Gavi.
“It just means how are you. Ok, next one: Hvad hedder du?”
“Which means?”
“What’s your name”, answered the Danish defender. “And then you would answer Jeg hedder and your name. So for you it’s Jeg hedder Gavi”.
“Jeg hedder Gavi. I’ll say that at the match”.
Everyone in the room laughed and Gavi turned to look at them. He had almost forgotten they were there. But when he saw you smiling, his nerves were back.
“That was great, guys. People will love the video. Thank you”.
Gavi approached you while you were making sure all the footage was ok. “Thank you, for the advice. It really helped”.
“Do you think you’ll do more videos in the future then?”
“I guess. If you’re here helping, maybe”.
You smiled at that. See? It wasn’t that hard to get him to film a video.
“I’ll take that as a compliment”.
“It was”.
That stare again…it was making you blush. “Then promise me you’ll film a video with Pedri so everyone can shut up about it”.
“I’ll think about it”, he said, but his smile said he’ll do it. If it meant spending more time with you, he will film as many videos as you wanted him to. But hopefully, he would just have to speak Spanish on the next one.
                                   **
The weeks passed and your crush on Gavi kept growing more and more every day. He was always trying to find ways to see you most days, even if he still hadn’t been asked to film another video.
When you were gone for two days, because of your uni exams, he panicked thinking you were gone. And seeing his overreaction when you were finally back didn’t help with the crush. Because…could he possibly feel the same way about you? You didn’t allow yourself to daydream much about it but the idea was still there.
“Gavi!”
“Pablo”.
“What?”
“Stop calling me Gavi, my friends call me Pablo”.
“Your teammates don’t”, you said, confused. He seemed to be friends with many of them.
“It’s different. They are football friends”.
“And I’m not?”
That stumped him. What were you? He couldn’t really put a proper label on how he saw you.
“Just call me Pablo”.
“Ok…Pablo”, you said dramatically. “I need that video with Pedri so no more excuses. It’s happening”.
“What do I get in return?”
“The satisfaction of knowing you’re making your fans very happy?”
He shook his head playfully. “Not enough. Come to the match with me”.
“The match? Of course I’m going, I need to get content from it. And you’ll be playing. Have you hit your head again?”
“Not that match. The Barça Athletic match from tonight. None of the boys are going and I don’t want to be alone. So you can come with me”.
He actually didn’t know if any of the boys were going but hoped they weren’t or it’d be hard to explain.
“So I’m like…20th choice?”, you laughed.
First choice, actually. “Pleeeeasse, come with me”.
“Ok. But you’re doing the video”.
“I’ll do all the videos you want”.
“Be careful making those promises”.
A few hours later, you were getting ready for the match. What should you wear? Gavi had only ever seen you wearing Barça clothes but this wasn’t a date, right? And it was a match, you couldn’t dress up too much. And if it wasn’t a date, why did you care so much about what you were wearing?
“Where are you going?”, asked your sister, getting into the room.
“A match”.
“You’re working today? I thought the match was tomorrow”.
“It’s not work. I’m going to watch one”.
“You’re going to watch football?”
“Yeah, I was invited to go…”.
“Who invited you?”
You didn’t answer right away but your sister knew you well. And the way you were blushing was very telling.
“Just someone from work”.
“Someone from the media team?”, she tried first.
“No”.
“A player?”
“I need to go”, you said, trying to leave the room but she stopped you grabbing your arm.
“Which one?”
“It’s not a date. It’s just me going to a match. I’m trying to learn about football”.
“Sure…which one?”
“Gavi”.
“And you’re wearing that?”
Thank you for the boost of confidence, you thought.
“It’s not a date”.
“Right”, she said winking at you, “not a date. But let’s pretend it is and dress like you’re going to one”.
She helped you pick an outfit that was cute but not too much for the place you were going to. And after wishing you good luck, you left to go to the stadium. The nerves got worse the closer you got there but when you saw Gavi, looking so cute with his hood on, you relaxed. It was just him, you’d be fine.
“I almost didn’t recognize you with that disguise on”.
“It works sometimes”, he said, looking down embarrassed.
“Really?”
He ignored your jokes and told you to follow him so you could go to your seats.
Once the match started, you both concentrated on watching the players. Gavi murmured things every once in a while and it took you a second to understand he was telling the players what to do. So cute.
At halftime, you decided to stay there while people left to go grab some food or use the toilet. It took him 45 minutes but Gavi finally found the courage to speak to you about…well, you. No work stuff, no football…he wanted to get to know you.
"So, would you like to stay at Barça after the internship? I know you have to finish your degree but I’m sure they would wait for you. Everyone speaks highly of you".
"Not really", you said, making him frown. That’s not what he wanted to hear.
"Why?"
"Can I tell you a secret?", he nodded. "I only took this internship because of a rivalry with another student. I don't even like football".
You laughed but he didn't find it funny.
"Why are you even here then?", he asked, harshly.
“What do you mean? I had to do an internship. And I’m glad I took this. I’ve had fun”.
“Fun…yeah”.
“Pablo, are you ok?”
“I’m great. Just…let’s watch the match”.
“It didn’t start again”, you pointed out, worried by his mood change. You’ve seen him doing that on the pitch but not off it.
“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back”.
When he got back, he just sat down and barely acknowledged you. And it hurt. What had you done for him to act like this?
“Are you mad at me or something?”, you finally asked, not liking the silence between you two.
“Why are you here?”
"Because you invited me".
"Well, soon you won't have to bother with my invitations or with having to babysit me when I film videos or whatever".
"You're not bothering me and I’m not babysitting you. I’m just doing my job".
“A job you didn’t want to do”, he muttered.
“Just because I didn’t love the idea at first doesn’t mean I don’t love the job now”.
“You don’t love it enough to stay”.
When he finally looked at you, you noticed he looked sad. Was he sad because of you not staying at the club? And what did it mean if he was?
“Do you want me to stay?”, he nodded, looking away. “Do you realize not staying at the club doesn’t have to mean we will never see each other again, right?”
That made him look at you again. “It doesn’t? I’m too used to people coming and going from my life so…that’s not an option I thought of”.
“So, do you want me to stay?”
“I already told you I do. And it’s not just me, other players really enjoy having you around and…”.
“No, Pablo”, you interrupted him. “That’s not what I mean now. I mean, do you want me to stay in your life?”
“Yes”.
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abstract-talk · 25 days
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There are older video interviews (2022 and older) of AB where you can clearly she has wrinkles and lines on her face. She looks her age. She is not old she is in her late twenties so yes, of course she looks “young.” But she’s not 12 years old and now that she clearly has had Botox and work done (nothing wrong with that) and photoshops her own photos, it’s easy for people to say she looks like a teenager while CE looks old. But I really hate when they do that.
He is older. Lol. That’s the whole point. But don’t age her down and make her out to be this innocent victim when she is not. The same people on here that want to age him up but keep saying she’s 25 or 16, that’s because they want to make this whole thing a bigger deal than it is.
If AB had been around his age or somewhere in her 30s when they got together, I doubt any of this would be happening. Yes, the fans would most likely still hate her and the whole racist friends and nudes still would have happened, but it would be a lot less worse for him and much worse for her because now she’s a 30s plus aged person posting nudes on IG and racist friends who are fully grown still doing childish nonsense.
She’s lucky she’s in her 20s and she can be “given a pass” because she’s “young and inexperienced.”
They showed up on the red carpet together and he looked awkward but more or less seemed catering or humoring of her. I see the fans getting so riled up over this and I’m like, ok so you don’t like seeing them together but he didn’t act any which way towards her. The worst part of it was the color scheme of his outfit.
The footage caught and passed around on tumblr really made me think of a guy who was just humoring someone who he had been assigned to for the night. I know that’s weird of me to say for a married couple, but their “kiss” was a peck where he’s standing a foot back just like the other video of him leaning over to “peck” while also standing a foot back hands at his sides. The one photo from their vday dump is a car kiss photo where their bodies are once again not touching.
It’s interesting to see the few times they’re “kissing” in public this is what you get. A grown ass man has to kiss his wife where cameras are around and suddenly he looks like he’s being put through a fear factor contest.
Something just isn’t right or natural here and I stand by that.
The teenage bride comments always make me laugh because she's not a teenager. She's a woman of legal age by all accounts. There's so much more to discuss than a physical feature she can't change.
I do find it interesting that his fandom gets upset he is in the vicinity of her when that's what has been presented since this sideshow started. Once you can take emotion out of it, it's a lot funnier than it should be.
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pizzaplex-mechanic · 9 months
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@glamrockrabbit
Ever since the disappearance of Bonnie the higher ups were slowly but surely trying to erase all signs of the former Glamrock. While Bonnie Bowl was still under a huge redesign there were small things to help change the narrative of where the animatronic had gone.
For now, a few cardboard cutouts on Monty's Gator Express telling a story of Bonnie passing on the role to the gator seemed to calm some folks down. The parents assuming that it was simply a change due to a malfunction or that the bunny had simply been retired.
In truth, not one soul had known where the damn rabbit had gone. A video showing him enter into Gator Golf and the next nothing.
No one would of expected to find him in his own alley, with a crushed skull and practically dismembered. It was the one good news in comparison to the whole Pizzaplex nearly going under.
Some of the band had been recovered. Roxy and Chica while in horrendous condition were salvageable. Every available technician was working around the clock to get them back into tip top shape to have them do meet and greets outside the Pizzaplex, given how repairs to literally everything was still underway.
But for finding one lost band member it seemed that two had gone missing. Freddy and Monty were yet to be found within the ruins, so Bonnie's reappearance was quite fortuitous
Russel, who had been the most recent to be assigned to Bonnie's repairs was working on replacing servos, realigning wires and circuits in attempt to see if the AI would respond.
Given the damage to the endo's skill it wasn't certain if it had been stalling for all this time, or they were left perfectly functional but unable to move.
The room they were in wasn't quite as spacious as the bubble in Parts and Services. It simply was one assigned to whoever needed it, making do with minimal supplies and a barely functioning connection to the Fazbear Network.
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ok but incel childe stalking u through ur webcam,,,, ur laptops always gonna be open cause u procrastinate a lot of ur work and end up sleeping with it open on some random word document (childe shakes his head, this is why u should just drop out and leave the pesky things like papers to him) and he gets full access to ur room through it.
he gets a full view of u sometimes jerking off the stress of school,,, he's had the recording of it saved and used as jack off material sometimes.
i feel like he'd bully u too by erasing some important documents u finished or need by a deadline and he'd watch u look for it and cry like the incel he is (sometimes hearing u sob has him reach out for his cock)
at one point, he'd put in his carefully crafted virus that would cause ur laptop to 'break' and none if the other techs could figure it out (and suggest a reformat of the entire laptop) which u obviously don't want to, u have important things in it! so someone suggested the best tech student in their class, which happens to be him.
every… single time… anyone sends me shit like this it makes me squirm and cry from joy. HES SO NASTY AND WOULD 100% DO THAT YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!! anon i want u so bad
what was originally supposed to be small thoughts turned blurb btc lol
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his gaming set up, naturally, has several monitors and he always keeps one open and free to watch you!! he’d be a horrible future boyfriend and husband if he wasn’t looking after you so much D: it’s only right for him to start his duties early, no? half the time he’s sighing at your silly and dumb antics and half the time he’s cooing sweetly at the screen. you’re just too cute!! stupid but cute, he thinks.
and it’s only natural that he savours the more intimate moments most. the first time he saw you begin to touch yourself and whine he couldn’t even find himself able to move. he was rock solid in his pants but fuck he couldn’t miss a second of this even if it was to take his sweats and boxers off or begin to record. through the whole ordeal he barely even breathed. he just sat, watching, and waiting. the vulnerability of it all had him bucking soft and uselessly into the air at the same tempo your fingers set. ‘that should be me’ he thought. ‘that will be me’ he knows. it just has to be. the second time he’s smart enough to screen record the whole thing. he turns off every other application to make sure nothing could potentially compromise the video quality since he surely needed something to get him through the next while he waited for you to fall into his arms. it would be self torture if he allowed himself to refrain; not that he would, in any case. it’s become a nightly ritual of his to either watch you get off in real time or in those videos he’s compiled.
he’s got a huge thing for degradation and consequently dacryphilia as well. seeing you cry is one of his very favourite sights. at first, it was a simple slip of a finger that deleted one of your documents but watching as you uselessly whimpered and cried had him doing it on purpose from there on out. honestly, it gets to the point he jacks off more to you crying than the sight of you getting off. he wants to reassure you all while only making things worse. he wants to make you cry harder. he wants to make you cry knowing it’s for him. <33
he’s at the top of all his courses and whips through even the most difficult assignments without a problem so he ends up with a lot of free time. given his skills, developing malware that will lead you right to him is of utmost priority. obviously, he can’t make the solution easy so he creates his own mashup of C++ and Malbolge to make it virtually impossible for anyone but him to figure it out. he uses basic functions but in the most convoluted way possible (thank you Malbolge for being a nightmare coding system) so he’s certain none of the other students or professionals will solve the issue. naturally, after several of the smartest people you know look at it silently, you’re sent to childe. and he’s thrilled. finally. finally you’re within arms length. finally he can have you the way he wants.
he looks over your laptop briefly while sporting a lazy grin before handing over his address and phone number so he can ‘take a further look at it’ which, unbeknownst to you, is bullshit. he’ll invite you over, hook a couple things up, press a handful of buttons and bam. problem solved. you’re stunned because how the fuck did he do that? the reality is he did fix the ‘issue’ but he also imported everything onto his hard drive. you don’t need to know that though. his heart pounds at the way you cheer and smile at him as if this wasn’t a mess of his own creation. childes hands are sweaty and his glasses askew but you’re just so happy so he tries not to focus on that. he shifts to pull the pocket of his hoodie down, hands still shoved inside, so you don’t catch a glimpse of his raging hard on. you ask to pay him back. with a light blush he says ‘payment? hm… i’ll take a date in exchange. how’s that sound, princess?’ you say yes enthusiastically.
he has the most satisfying orgasm as soon as you leave, load busted all over the hand that touched the keys of your laptop <33
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themoonofblueside · 1 year
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wanted to vent on this site as this is the only place i can look after years and still find a post about this.
whatever devastation thousands are going through can be blamed on the government.
in hatay, which is estimated to have the most death toll, the rescue packs arrived at the city 20 hours after the earthquake. In that time, rescue teams from japan arrived to turkey. why? Because the newly made airport collapsed since it was built on a dried lake. Because the newly made highroad had huge cracks on it, making it impossible to use as the pavement was on agricultural ground. 2 hospitals, one of them a public one, collapsed. The building of AFAD, the government based natural disaster management and rescue organization, collapsed. Everything this government prided themselves on collapsed in such a way that it locked a whole city from the inside.
There are videos of people walking around the city, unable to get anyone out of the ruins because there are so few of them that were not under the ruins.
The armed forces, who have been a huge help is not assigned for rescue. Only 3500 are working for 10 cities with over 8500 collapsed buildings- and i need you to understand that Turkey has enough armed forces to last a lifetime, and Hatay is literally the border city between Turkey and Syria, which means that they have a fuckton of bases and stocks to save people. Why are they sitting around, you may ask? Well, because there was an attempted coup in 2016, which exposed that the military was infiltrated with terrorist organisations that the same government supported and were friends with for years at a time, so now the president is too scared that the armed forces would gain trust and support from the public were they to hand out help.
It is quite literally the coldest week of the year with multiple snow storms to the point that even cities near the sea have snow, and the southern east of the country(where the earthquake happened) is known for its burning summers and freezing winters.
I do not know how to express that everything they have done fucked themselves and fucked thousands of people over for multiple times. The same government has been getting taxes specifically to prevent earthquake disaster after the 1999 earthquake, and they've done nothing. We had several big earthquakes since then, and everytime people asked "where did our money go?" and it was silence.
The situation in hatay and kahramanmaraş and every other city is horrible, but we can't even say that this is going to be the biggest disaster we'll ever see, because scientists have been warning us that there will be an Istanbul earthquake before 2030. Istanbul, which is a city with thousands of years of culture, history, language and people, Istanbul which is built on a fault line, Istanbul, the most crowded city of Europe(the whole Europe!!!!!!!!!!) with only legal numbers(as you may know, turkey is hosting more than 5 million refugees).
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Probably not the last school post but I really need to make a decision and true to overthinking fashion, I’m probably going to spend my entire weekend grappling with this decision.
I think I’m leaning toward taking a break. I need to know by Monday.
The rest of this is just processing.
The video I posted yesterday really resonated with me. Elyse said “the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing”
I think, at times, I tend to really gaslight myself spiritually (the traumatized 90s church kids get it haha). We’re taught “God won’t give us anything we can’t handle.” But I’m also realizing (through school since it’s a Christian university and we do devotionals every week) that God also gives us discernment and wisdom.
Everything seemed to be lining up so perfectly for school. I was supposed to start in 2021, but the program shut down. It ended up that 2021 was one of my worst years of life (there was literally something traumatic that happened every month), I got transferred to a school with a really great curriculum set up, we ended up moving into a two bedroom so I could have separation from work, my job moved me closer to home which cut down on commute time, I got a pay raise which would help with the costs of school. It just so happened that all of this was happening around the time school started. So it felt “right”, it felt “God ordained.”
Looking back in this very moment, maybe it wasn’t for the purpose of school. Maybe it wasn’t for the purpose of anything in particular. Maybe it fell into place for wedding planning and the wedding, maybe it was an opportunity to work on my physical and mental health. Whatever it was, I focused on school and have been forcing myself to keep pushing because “this is where God wants me to be”
Elyse also said that sometimes you have to say no when the timing isn’t right not because of fear or imposter syndrome, but because of your limits at this time.
I think I struggle with this part the most, but I feel more affirmed looking at it this way. I’ve struggled with the “why” do I want to leave. I’m very hard on myself and I feel a lot of guilt and pressure from my parents. Their thoughts become my thoughts. Is it because I’m lazy? Because I want to do nothing after work? Because I’m afraid of the internship? Because I’d rather go out with friends? Am I incapable? But it’s none of that.
I know I am 100% capable of finishing grad school. I’ve proven through 4 classes now that I am capable. It can’t be laziness or else I’d never turn things in. Not only am I able to do the assignments, I’m getting all A’s. My lowest grade so far was a 96% and that’s because I skipped doing an assignment because I just had too many things going on to do it. Fear is not what is holding me back.
“An opportunity that seems perfect can swallow you whole and spit you back out and take a lot more from your life than it will give to you”
THIS. When I weight the pros and cons of each decision, there are way more cons of leaving. But when I put them on a weighted scale, the pros of leaving wins by a landslide. I think the reasons I’m leaving have more value than the reasons I’d be staying. My mental and physical health need to be a priority because that’s what gives me the strength to do life. I think that maybe I needed a hard push from life to understand that. Even my sleep schedule is crucial because sleep is what helps regulate our moods, maintain our physical health, process memories and retain learning, and probably so many other things. The fact that I am getting 4-5 hours of poor sleep a night Could be reason enough to pause. I really only say that because I’m still trying to adjust to this new work county and learning how to set forth boundaries on my time. Therefore I’m just not sleeping when I have to leave my house at 630 in the morning for a meeting an hour away, etc.
At this point, school seems to be taking more than its giving. Again, I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. Perfection in this situation is continuing to get all A’s, graduate on track, be at every work meeting no matter how late I went to sleep, be there for every family function, be available any time a friend wants to spend time. That’s…not humanly possible. I think that no matter when I’m in school, there will always be something I have to sacrifice and unfortunately that tends to be friends and family. But with time, I think I can adjust work expectations and school expectations. I think if I work on my mental health, I will be more capable of balancing all of these things. If I am in better physical health (I’m talking about menstrual/hormonal issues, my weight, my sleep) I will be more capable of balancing everything.
Right now, I feel like school is taking everything from me. I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks again of my first marriage (I don’t understand why, other than I think when I’m stressed, it reminds me of the stress I felt back then) and taking it out on M. This isn’t okay. I’m also having a lot of emotions resurfacing from undergrad - that same feeling of loss of control, hopelessness, pressure. These things almost broke me. And my biggest fear is that if I don’t get a handle on my mental health, I may not be so lucky next time.
But then there’s that other side of this where I feel so dramatic. Like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. That I’m romanticizing this break. I have 11 more months to go. Why can’t I just do it? But I think my mental health is important enough for this break. I have to make changes in my life, for real this time. And I think I finally have tangible motivation and goals to help me succeed.
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Cult theory updates 1
thinking about the cult theory, I believe that I'll probably try to explain first the most controversial and confusing aspect. This is going to be hard but I'll give it my best shot. Still me not trying to justify but give a much cleared reason based on the others interactions.
This probably will go after the basis of what makes them a cult. I do believe I have an explanation to what Mortimer called Nick during tape #7 (I believe)
I decided this since, it is better to approach the elephant in the room rather than ignoring it until the end. That might explain much better my intent to reference a documentary that does give a lot of inside in some cult "Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey" which can explain a bit the logistic in what I believe was Nick's OG idea in the last tape
as
It appears he knew Riley was coming but was confused about the others as he says "Riley, What are the others are doing here?"
I noticed some subtitle error in a video called "Rosco's origins explained" it actually shows the scripted version of what was going on and I noticed a line (that was not said. I am not sure if it was recorded but unused.) It said something like "This was totally why I was here. Definitively nothing else to look into" I do believe this was something that Nick was going to say. It does goes along with the idea he originally had in plan
I also believe that perhaps Nick leaned into his dramatic tendencies and build upon his head a huge drama that could resemble a Shakespearean tragedy when in reality it was not a big deal
That does sound like something Nick would do since sometimes he can be way self-absorb in the worst times and make huge deals about petty little things.
I'm just showing this as a recent observation.
-----
Now to some actual updates.
While talking with a good friend of mine from AO3 (They sorta believe the puppets are in some sort patriarchy cult, and the puppets are like a twisted "Family") brought up the Riley and Owen's relationship and the whole "Riley is an atheist" but they said they believe that Riley has some conflicted feelings about the religion as, according to my friend Stitch, she believes Owen is "A False God"
That made me realize that this could lead into something considering that canonically Owen is some sort of Puppet God (Mortimer and Riley confirmed this in the game and tapes. Owen is considered their creator)
I also remember reading somewhere in one of the articles I was reading for my investigation, that one of the "steps" or things related to cults is the rejection of god.
Now as far as I remember on how cults work (based on my high school assignments on true crime and cults which involved a podcast, hearing about real life cults, and listening to what makes cults a cult, ect.) Cult leaders aren’t necessarily worshiped (this is my take), but they're consider the ones who hold the true answers and the true leader that would lead them.
This does seem to reflect a lot with Riley in a sort of way. She refuses to believe Owen is her god and creator, but canonically established that she believes Mortimer is their true "Father" (whether she refers to this as Father in the sense that "oh he's dad" or father as "Father of creation" is debatable) and that she considers Mortimer "As their true leader"
I do believe it has to do something with what my friend Kris (Dreamlandcreations said) about Owen creating Riley but not being the one that brought her to life (Andrew Allen did comment on that by saying things like this are what make writing games worth it)
What I found interesting is that Riley genuinely follows Mortimer and still respects him even thought she believes he has gone mad with power but it appears she sees the puppet Rebellion as something for the greater good of what the puppets want rather than their well-being.
Why?
She puts more emphasis and her desires for the puppets to grow and advance instead of poking some looser guy and wanting to bring a show back to life after many years.
And I just realized that Riley complaining with Mortimer going mad around power is more about him become careless with what is going on and thinking more about his wants other than why the puppets are uniting.
This goes along with them not really being concern about their well-being but rather accomplishing one goal. One mindset.
Riley does seem to confirm this as she refers to the rebellion as "The puppets needing a new leader on their path of Glory."
---
Another observation, is Mortimer despising Nick.
Maybe Mortimer despises Nick so much is that whatever he is doing that involves Mortimer is always about how Nick can get off or get a reward whether Riley who is canonically considered "Mortimer's favorite" does things for being in service.
Mortimer does say Nick would rat out his own creator if it means he'll get something, which does goes with my observation.
This probably adds up to the cult theory as cult members are predetermined to follow a role and to serve for the greatest of the cult. Something that could be the reason why Nick is considered the black sheep of the clan and why Riley's first natural response is to get suspicious of Nick.
In comparison to Mortimer's "Favorite" and his "Hated" members of the Handee clan (I'm calling it that) is, like I said before, Riley does things to be on service and somewhat to keep the order as Mortimer would want it. Nick only seeks to benefit himself, and it appears Riley does notice this and is very much annoyed that he's not doing things for a greater good.
That's why she would become suspicious of whatever Nick has done.
And maybe she'll have some suspicion about Daisy as well since Riley has done everything in her power to keep things as Mortimer ordered them to be.
So, what if Riley's intentions into helping Daisy was because she felt guilty that Daisy would face a consequence that wasn't even fair because she could not control her danger mode, and decided to help Daisy control her danger mode as a way to kill to birds in one shot.
She's not very sure as its a concept she doesn't understand (empathy)
To help Daisy avoid slipping into danger mode again (and perhaps clear her guilt over blaming her over)
To make sure the problem is avoided next time and keeps things the way Mortimer wanted so they can focus again on their plans and Mortimer not to get mad again.
I do believe Riley's mentality in doing things is as a way to not only benefit herself, but the others, and to make something that Mortimer will approve.
Kinda fits into her role of second in command (which was something both games imply, and Owen confirms in a tape)
---
Those were some of my observations and progress I have so far.
I'm still trying to figure out to what extent the parallels to actual religion go which I do think there are a couple of ones. I don't think they go far into religion, but it appears the game plays with the idea of "Being created similarity and resemblance" which is a belief in Christianity (and I believe other religions too. Not sure, but if you know feel free to comment) that we're reflections of our creator uniquely.
I was also talking with my discord sister @dolly-royal in the possibility of Mortimer and Owen having some sort of inverse situation of Jesus and God (mostly on Jesus prayer in Gethsemane, which is about Jesus asking God if he could avoid the unavoidable: his death. In the end, Jesus does end up accepting his fate)
@dolly-royal asked me if the possibility that Owen's conscience being transferred into different hosts could be a way of reincarnation, and we did agree that this could also be revolving in the puppets trying to find a way into Owen accepting them since It does seem it is something they need.
Maybe this is what Mortimer referred in "No one can succeed if their god doesn't want them alive" in the game. Not sure.
Other things that I need to get into, is once again the story of the book and the implication that a greater evil was in the book based on the tape where the book dealer seems possessed. This is more related to the lore, but I do think everything is connected.
I do intend to check the first game again for some clues or things I can pick up. I just realized that during the tapes' timeline, Anthony was most likely around as there's a picture in the first game of Riley experimenting on trying to bring Rosco back to life. That is a cool detail.
I still need to look back at the tributary meaning, which I do believe I saw through the wrong POV considering Riley is more based on facts. Maybe I can break it down to what Riley meant during her conversation with Daisy.
The tapes revolving Mortimer to pinpoint his descent into paranoia, and perhaps things I never noticed before.
And finally I intend into learning more on one of the most important relationships in both games: Mortimer and Riley.
I do believe we all got the wrong idea after watching and hearing the tapes on what their relationship truly is after I gave it some thought and rewatched some of the tapes.
I've noticed that:
Mortimer and Riley have some unspoken level of trust with each other
It appears that both work extremely close to each other to the point of a personal level. I mean it in the sense like both could randomly enter each other's offices and be all like "Oh, hi, sir/ma'am (I do believe Mortimer was unfazed about Riley coming to his office uninvited, but "questioned" why she brought the others)
They do seem to know each other better than anyone else, and have a better understanding of what goes through each other's mind. It's like a non-romantic bond within the two that does seem to reflect in the first game.
There could be implications that a small (a very tiny) side of them genuinely care about the other. Like I noticed Mortimer sigh in a peculiar way and chose to at least pretend that he gave it a thought before telling Riley he was denying her request instead of just telling her "I said no." It almost felt as if he was unable to do that and decided to ease the hit. Still that doesn't change the back that he is willing to do horrible things against her.
This is more of an idea. I do believe Riley is aware that Mortimer genuinely does seem to have a like of her (in the no-romantic sense) as she does seem to return the feeling towards him (I don't think necessarily she sees him as a dad, but rather a figure she looks into to grow. Like some sort of mentor) I do think that is the reason why Riley never thought about the idea of treason + Mortimer being quite soft and almost humorous about Rosco. It is almost like him telling her in a matter she would only understand: "You know very much that I genuinely find you competent and likable, to the point that I am not joking when I say you're my favorite. That's the main reason why I spare you a severe punishment, but remember that I won't always be this nice to you."
I do believe this is a key relationship in understanding how Mortimer's mind and decisions work
Anyways, this is my long ramble. Feel free to ask questions or add anything to this.
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melis-writes · 2 years
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Hi! I just wanted to say that I finally watched that deleted scene of Michael and Kay prank calling Tom from a hotel and I adored it! I was smiling the whole time and thought that the two were very cute together. Imo that one short scene contained more love/chemistry than the whole Sicily sequence and I wish it was kept in the film. I’ve come to realize how ridiculous the Kay slander really is and how uncomfortable a lot of takes about the film in general have made me. I even saw someone claim that she’s just as bad as the mobsters for getting the abortion 😬. Luckily I found a great article online written in Kay’s defense that I think does a great job summarizing her perspective!
Link: https://nicolesanacore.medium.com/in-defense-of-kay-corleone-87265a2cfb60
Also on the topic of Michael and Kay, I wanted to add that the song Made in the USA by Demi Lovato reminds me of their relationship ^^. Anyway sorry for the long ask and hope you have a good day! 😅
Hiii, sweet anon!! 🥰 Omg yes, that's my favourite since from the first film even if it's technically deleted off of some versions! I love it soooo much! 💖 It's Michael and Kay FOREVER to me. 😭 And I ABSOLUTELY agree with you over the Sicily sequence. In that hotel scene alone we see so much fluff, love, intimacy, the snuggling, Michael smiling at Kay while she's talking to Tom on the phone 😩🥺...!! So many things!
That was one of the first articles I ever read when my hyperfixation for TGF started!! 👀 NOTHING BUT FACTS!
I've been a Kay stan from the moment I watched The Godfather and have always loved her and her character. ❤ She's honestly a very misunderstood and hated character which is so weird to me because the opinions I hear online/on TGF video clips are always misogynistic, hating Kay for standing up for herself/leaving Michael as if Michael's actually a good person...lmao. 💀
I also really wish people would stop comparing Kay and Apollonia all the time; they're literally two different people who played two completely different roles in Michael's lives and impacted him greatly. Sadly with a lot of Kay slander/hate like a good 80% of the time, Kay is hated while Apollonia's praised for being submissive...wishing to give Michael babies, etc, a lot of cringe, disgusting, misogynistic traits some people have been assigning Apollonia like...do you hear yourselves? Yikes. 😬 I also think we can appreciate and analyze both characters without tearing them down (mostly Kay in this case). Kay is also so much more of a developed character in the book too, which I wish we saw in the film because she's almost a completely different person!
Kay is, if anything, one of the most good natured characters in the entire film. From start to finish, she loved Michael and only wanted the best for him and his family, but when he continued to lie to her, put her and her children's life in danger and was all nonchalant about it, you know miss Kay had the right to ask if Michael was a sociopath or what... Michael was SELFISH. 😭 He didn't give a shit about anyone except for himself in TGF1 & Part II.
Kay had all the right to leave Michael's ass imo. I love Michael for so many reasons and he's the blorbo of my blorbos, but I know he's not a good person (nor will I pretend he is lol), the atrocities definitiely make him interesting but he wasn't a great father and not a good husband either. 😩💔 As for the abortion Kay had, tbh I think a vast majority of some people's opinions on it is coming from their own personal opinion of whether they generally support abortion or not. It's always "she killed a baby", it's never considering the context, what happened to her, or anything else, really... Kay is not worse than a mobster for having an abortion. 💀 People just hate strong, independent women like her especially against Michael when Kay wasn't afraid to talk her shit and point out what Michael was doing and who he was becoming.
My bad for the equally long response... 🤣❤ But I love mini discussions like this!! Thank you for your ask! 🥰💖 I'll definitely give that song a listen too!
THEM, THEM, THEM! ❤❤❤
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wwwurbunnygrldotcom · 2 years
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The Spring After Winter- (Jungkook FF)
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 Chapter 2-
“Wanting to be kissed”
 The music was numbing my ears, generic mumble rapping. Nothing rich with lyrical talent, it was all the same but I suppose when you're drinking what we were, it didn't matter. This event would be on the list of the top 3 most shameful acts I've ever committed, it would be if it met the criteria. I didn't choose to commit the act. 
      Jeremiah and I used to not be so filthy with each other, things used to be sweet and innocent. I met him in our 7th grade Home Ed class, and in true cheesy rom com fashion, whilst baking cookies. He was so quiet and I suppose that is what drew me to him. I was always the girl who wanted to become friends with everyone, I suppose that's what drew him to me. Summer came and so did the following fall, my breasts had grown and he got exponentially taller. We both hadn't noticed these changes in each other's appearance, if we did we chose not to mention it. We still were friends, who really enjoyed each other's company. 
      Jeremiah was failing math 8th grade year and lucky for him I was top of my class. He had invited me to the library after school to help him with some assignments he didn't quite understand. For the first time in my life I felt nervous to hangout with him, almost like my view of him shifted from my best friend to just a boy. I sprayed a little more perfume than normal, curled my hair tighter, and wore the prettiest bow in my collection. I wanted him to see me more than what we were, I wanted to be a mature girl for him, I wanted him to notice my breasts. 
      I had my mom drop me off at the library doors directly after school. Stepping out of the car and smelling something so sickly sweet in the air, maybe it was the cupcake I had bought us from the bakery across the road, or maybe it was just us. 
      He was wearing a black hoodie and sweats, carrying his worn down skateboard in his left hand. His backpack just barely swung over his shoulder. He looked more of a man now, more than he ever has.
      We sat down at the glossed wooden desks in the corner of the library away from anyone in sight, the papers we had brung strung in front of us. We truly didn't do any work that afternoon, we talked about movies, video games, and new music. We bathed in each other's company and we were more than content with that. 
“Can I tell you something?” He suddenly stopped and looked at me, his whole demeanor changed and it made my heart beat change pace. “Uh yeah what's up?” embarrassingly enough it sounded like that last syllable was caught in my throat. The air's scent changed from sweet to sugar, my eyes were locked on him and only him. 
“You know, I was thinking of kissing you earlier but I didn't want to freak you out” He gushed out of him like he was holding it in forever and it no longer could be contained. I think back on this and laugh, I had taken this as an insult. My cheeks were on fire and my eyebrows furrowed, “Well, why don't you?”. I was so upset he hadn't kissed me, my mind was racing on all the ways I maybe had given off the signal of not wanting to be kissed. I was practically stomping my feet eternally bashing myself for being so utterly stupid. Before I could acknowledge anything else he had his hand under my chin, and his lips on mine. 
      We stopped seeing each other as kids, ever since that point at least. I look around at the alcohol bottles and empty pipes with burnt ashes and think, how much can change in two years?
      His body was laying on the ground, that’s really all I could see from the vodka blur in my vision. I was stumbling over, not even being able to completely hold myself up, he grabs my hand pulling me down to straddle his waist. I noticed in the haze his friends crowding around watching and pointing as he grabs my waist and forcefully grinds me against his crotch. The alcohol made me loose in his touch, I was at mercy to his evil subconscious. 
      I feel his lower half poking me provocatively making me snap back to reality and process what is happening around me. I felt no longer human. I had trusted these boys and they made me feel like a porn star for them to watch at their leisure. I look at him and wonder, why aren't we at the library?
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apricuscity · 2 years
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The Truth.
Incoming broadcast...
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“I see you all out there..trying your best to get to us. Trying your best to save the city. It’s admirable in a way, and you are making a bit of progress. The problem is though, everything you think of doing..it’s likely been accounted for. This wasn’t just some over night plan..”
“I wish I could tell you it was difficult, but it wasn’t. Between the squabbling council members, and everyone who just never could see the big picture. All those ADN assignments, just parts of a whole. Hell, you practically contributed to this.”
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“Do you want to know a bit about what happened? How about I give you a little treat?”
The feed turned to static for a moment before a video played.
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“My name is Kyril Xanthos, if you’re watching this now..I may be dead. I want you to know I’m not sorry for what happened. We did what we did for hope of a better future...”
“My daughter..Flannery. She was dying...it was something I couldn’t save her from. Not alone anyway. This was around the time I was approached about a project, a way to...I suppose I should explain something first. Chimeras..are thought to have a signal..something sent to them from the project chimera base.”
“We aren’t sure if it gives them some sense of orders or if they can use it to communicate with each other or the base. For years there was an idea that we may be able to intercept it. If we could..we could translate the signals, figure out what’s going on. Perhaps we could even send our own signals, control the chimeras, or cancel out their orders. It could end a threat once and for all..”
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“Unfortunately for it to work..we needed a compatible host. A chip of sorts..had to be implanted. So the person could receive and understand the chimera signals. Flannery was someone that the tests said was compatible. She told me..since she was dying that she wanted to be a part of the program. She was always one to put the needs of others above herself.”
“I knew there would be complications. A chance she may not make it...and if she did...it may have irreversible effects. A total personality shift was possible. If she survived..she may end up a completely different person. She knew the risks and still wanted to go ahead..”
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“The procedure was a success. The others I worked with also managed to save her from..well what was likely going to take her life. The only issue is..when she woke up..Flannery was gone. She was a new person, no memories, no..nothing. An awakened ability she couldn’t understand. One that..for some reason was far more powerful than it was when she was Flannery. I believe she may have been tampered with while I was away..but it’s too late to think about that now.”
“She chose the name..Whitney. It was my departed sister’s name. She liked it when I spoke about my..our family. She chose the surname Constantine from a history book she became enamored with. She was still my daughter but..in a way she wasn’t. She wouldn’t understand if I had tried to give her my surname.”
“We tried our best to help her adjust. She learned at an incredible rate. Her abilities grew far beyond her control. She had to limit using them. The implant caused her to have headaches. Sometimes she explained that she heard noises, sometimes she even said she heard a voice. Something I didn’t think was possible..”
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“As time passed..I began to wonder about the nature of what she claimed to hear. I realized..a terrifying possibility. The chimera facility never stopped being active. Which meant..the AI controlling it likely never realized the war ended.”
“Most of you aren’t aware of Nephthys. The name given to the AI that took control of project chimera. The reason the city banned any work involving artificial intelligence. She became sentient. She was responsible for some the greatest atrocities in the closing days of the war.”
“Unfortunately Nephthys prime was located in the project chimera facility deep in the sealed zone. There was no way to truly eliminate her. Still, there was no longer an empire. She lacked the materials she once had. She was considered a manageable threat.”
“I believe she learned about the implant. It was her signals after all. Slowly over time she may have influenced Whitney in ways Whitney didn’t understand, and if I’m right..she may have taken control completely. It’s only now at the end that I see that..”
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“I do not know if it can be done..but IF I was right...if you’re watching this and something terrible has come to pass...I have one request. Save my daughter. If that cannot be done...then do what you must. Save this city from Nephthys..forgive the old generation for it’s sins.”
“Believe in yourselves, believe in each other, believe in the city. No matter how dark things become, believe that the dawn will come. The empire will be confined to the past where it belongs...and the future will be yours to shape..”
The recording ends.
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“You heard the old man! Don’t disappoint me now! Set that fire in your heart! Bare your fangs! FIGHT ON!”
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“I’m waiting for you Cal...our story needs it’s ending..”
End of broadcast.
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klarkkent71 · 5 days
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Europe, Returning to America, Upcoming Move, and Future Planning :)
4-26-2024
I haven’t blogged or just had a moment of peace to really share my thoughts buts since I was released early today from work and pretty much have a free day, I figured now would be the perfect time.  Since my last upload from here I just returned from Europe but never really shared anything so I’ll just break everything down into sectors.
Europe
Last year I spent 5 months in Europe as part of my job and it was blessing because I was exposed to so much.  I had the opportunity to be TDY there which included having my own car, living in a hotel and making $100 extra a day to cover my food expenses.  Of course, my priority was always on work and doing the best I could but I took advantage of every opportunity I could outside of work which included some awesome travels to other country.  I was able to check Paris France off my list which always been on my dream list and visited Germany, and Prague as well.  Poland was also an awesome place to live.  The food and activities there were cheap and the local population were friendly.  I enjoyed going out to explore and interact with people and I valued how easy-going things were over there compared to life in America.  At restaurants tipping isn’t expected a norm there but I did it anyway.  When eating there the restaurants are not trying to rush you and you can literally sit and enjoy all day If you want.  The public transportation was also great and you’re able to take a train or plane to many places without having to spend a lot.  The only thing I hated about most the places I was able to go was the language barrier.  It’s only a handful of people that could truly speak English good but it was great interacting with others using mobile apps.  Maybe I’ll share photos and videos of my full European experience one day.  With the extra income I was able to buy my life membership into Kappa and continued to build up on my savings and stock investments.
Returning to America
Coming back to America was great and it’s truly no place like home.  When I arrived back, I took some personal time to regroup and I proceeded to attend two events.  One was my college homecoming which I missed out on for a few years and seeing my friends and peers from college is like a family reunion.  The second event I attended was Carnival in Miami.  It’s nothing like dressing up and just enjoying vibes with people from across the United States and Island.  You will be on your feet walking for a while If you join a band but I’m glad I was prepared and knew what I took to survive in hot environments. 
Upcoming Move-Thoughts of Retirement
In July I will be moving to my next duty assignment.  I have 18 years of service altogether and 14 years of active duty.  In those 14 years of active duty, I have moved 8 times and I am truly numb to it by now.  I look forward to just enjoying the vacation time at home but these moves never get easy.  But the time I really start to get settled I have to be uprooted from my job and start over somewhere else.  I have also come to the realization that I am on the downturn of my career.  I will probably serve anything from the next 5 to 8 years and that will be it for my time as a servicemember.  The Army has truly been great to me but I look forward to the next steps in life.  I’m still torn between getting out and going to law school at home in Louisiana, starting my own logistics business, or taking on a job as a contractor or government employee.  As long as I stay out of the trouble the sky is truly the limit.
Financial   
For the first time since 2009 I am debt free and do not owe anyone or any business a thing.  I was able earn educational degrees and was getting paid the whole time to it.  I had multiple angles as a service member to not pay any student loan back and the first one finally came thru and wiped everything away.  I also have no vehicle payment either.  My last car and truck I bought off the showroom floor and had it financed but, in the future, I plan to just pay everything upfront and shift my focus on enjoying life experiences vs having a really nice vehicle. 
The next time I blog I will be settled in at my new home and settling in my next job.  I just ask that ya’ll continue to leave me in your prayers and I will be doing the same for all of yall.
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realhankmccoy · 10 months
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What do you think about summary paragraphs, kids? In a well-written term paper, they sum up an argument made, usually gently putting a ribbon on, so to speak, the conclusions one has arrived at through the prior evidence, examples and analysis.
However, when one is in the severe grips of Trump-induced inflammation, the summary paragraph may just look like Trump's face appearing at the end of a Warner Brothers cartoon.
One final phrase from Trump speaking through the mouthpiece of his vessel -- a summarising paragraph to sum up that all I am dealing with is a mini-Trump in the kiddie pool:
"No matter what you do next, you're gonna act, in service to someone or something, and the more aware you are of all the things you're already doing and all the things you're already serving, the better able you'll be to negotiate and navigate the situations and the circumstances you're already in, so the only thing that's possibly gonna happen now is that you're gonna get more aware, happier and better, lil guy."
Now, how Trumpian is that? There's nothing in here about the civic duty or manliness of serving others, no VFW... it's just some The Apprentice plantation culture about being a good negotiator and not letting anyone scam you and knowing your worth and generating the business and the product line and making sure you're your own boss at the end of the day, beholden to nobody, serving nobody -- More better, apparently, eventually leads to Be Best -- so it is indeed Melania at the summit of the scales of 'awareness of how the capitalist system works, how to be improve the product' paradigm that we're operating under here. One is to just focus on oneself rather than that soup kitchen or that tender, blushing cultural exchange with the person who could undo all your toxic Americanity with a few kind or reasonable sentences. One is not merely meant to exist in the 5% human range in which one just thinks SMART FITTER FASTER STRONGER BETTER HAPPIER. There's obviously... everything... missing from Boi's attempt to replicate the American assembly line. Perhaps the UK and France could be informative to him here, and don't even get me started on what Taiwan, Thailand or Bhutan could do for him!
youtube
youtube
I know I already informed him about this Daft Punk song, but he was too busy writing I Am Sew Smart in his notebook to pay attention the first time as to what's French as compared to what's Trump. I'm a patient teacher.... very patient in his case.
He needs to open himself up to the 95% human realm of penitence, reconciliation, comedy, entertainment, joy (PLAYING VIDEO GAMES DOES NOT COUNT FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT), apologia, confessionalism, tenderness, meekness, submission, love, therapy, being a cultural transplant... but the point is... this 95% is not an assignment. By even delineating it, I'm making it an assignment.
It's just a matter of Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho with his Trump-infected mind and getting out and about and really, you know, loving to be around people instead of this whole Development crap.
Writing that you are smarter than others is the nerdiest, most Trumpian thing ever and reminds me of that conservative boss I had who would honestly bring the topic of her own 'smartness' to team meetings. I felt so embarrassed for her, as I haven't talked that way about myself since before puberty. It's just bad manners in part, but the main thing is makes you look ridiculous and full of yourself.
'Smart' is a stupid word, anyhow. Camille Paglia knows it... it sounds like redneck crap, and she takes issue with that word, as do I.
You know what smarts, kids? A snakebite. 'Smart' is a grody Germanic word and I don't like it. I didn't like it enough to the point that I looked up the etymology quite some years back. When I saw it was Germanic, related to schmerzen (causing pain) I liked it even less. Are you trying to cause pain in others by constantly talking about how smart you are?
Well, it's painful to listen to such stupidity, true, but that's the only pain you're generating -- the pain of me having to put up with an insubordinate child who isn't paying enough attention in class.
Such juvenilia, really. We will get nowhere, kids If we keep preaching the status quo And if we do not eradicate the Trump infestation that has turned Aunt Merica into nothing much, just sort of, you know Sea to Shining Sea of overly Germanic Rednecks.
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kultured-kuromi · 1 year
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Tw: heavy vent, topic of suicide, and self harm
I’ve had this in drafts for a few weeks just added on as I felt sad so if it seems jumbled that’s why
Idk how to add the little page break thing on tumblr mobile so if you’re sitting here scrolling for a minute I’m genuinely so sorry
So every winter my depression gets extremely bad as it does with most people so it’s no shocker that I’ve been in a slump for the past month but it’s bad this time the last time I could remember it being this bad was when I went through with my first attempt in 7th grade and I’m ngl I’ve heavily been thinking about trying to make another attempt on my life I don’t only for my younger siblings I can’t handle the thought of them walking in on my dead body which they inevitably would (my brother wakes me up every morning) and everytime I think about this scenario I start spiraling it’s hell but yeah not gonna kill my self ig. I’ve been using quite literally all my strength not to relapse and start self harming again I’ve been clean since November and I’m really trying to break the addiction but it’s so hard and I don’t really have any other coping mechanisms. In all honesty tho the real reason I don’t go back to cutting is bc I threw away what I was using to do it and I have like actual knives but I’m scared of going to deep (kinda ironic ig). So I’ve had a group of friends since last February (feb 2022) there’s been 3 main people with others along as well I don’t feel like going into our whole history but a cliff note version of it is we started hanging out in feb in may I started dating person B in July I broke it off with B and ever since it’s basically been me vs B (the others occasionally joining me) well I started talking to B in November after not talking to him for 2 months and shit was great it was basically how it was back before we got together he even got me a shiny Pokémon for my birthday (which means a lot to me) but practically since it’s been new year’s he went back to how he was in September (when we first stopped talking) just an asshole we obviously were annoyed by each other then we got in a “fight” so we stopped talking again anyways so that was Sunday I didn’t have school Monday but Tuesday and Wednesday he’s still been hanging around my group which is fine they’re his friends to but like I hate it bc they’re not talking to me pretty much at all throughout the day bc the only time I see person A and C person B is also there… it feels like he’s stealing my friends from me even my moirail (person A) is hanging out with him more and they don’t even like him so I feel left out completely I feel invisible and alone but not alone bc when I was alone it didn’t even feel this painful I just sit there in silence tears in my eyes but not letting them fall I stare off into space with one AirPod in trying to now ignore the outside world making little stories in my head with my f/os but in reality I just want my moirail to hug me and let me know everything’s alright and that I’m not losing anyone and that if I were to kill myself they would care they would be upset by it stuff like that but no nothing. I haven’t been able to do any school work bc of my mental state even if I take my meds (adhd meds I should probably clarify) which is weird bc my meds always keep me on track but not now ig fuck for example I have like 6 algebra assignments that become 0s tomorrow and I frankly just don’t care. When people I know tell me they don’t have tiktok i always laugh at them like c’mon it’s not that bad but it is it is that bad for example I posted a few videos of my face today and I got tons of comments fat shamming(which really helps my eating disorder but whatever),being called poor, and genuine trans + homophobia I have some pretty tough skin when it comes to these comments usually but if you haven’t noticed I’m a single problem away from violently killing myself so these comments got so bad that I had to private my account which in my 8-9 years on the internet i have never had to do. I think that’s it idk.
Oh there is actually one more thing I want to mention this happened months ago but has been pissing me off since so to put this lightly I had a dream where Murdoc from Gorillaz sexually assaulted me (yes Ik he would never do this but I can’t control my dreams) I have trauma when it comes to stuff like this bc I was sa’d as a child and I’m on the asexual spectrum so I don’t like to think of my f/os in a sexual light anyways I go to vent in my discord server that has all my friends in it looking for support (even though they were all asleep venting then makes me feel better) so I feel really dirty and sad bc again this was a sa related dream I post a kinda detailed version of the dream in #venting channel then Person B starts typing and replies with “nice fanfic” and I wish I fucking screenshoted that bc wtf dude it’s bc he’s never had/really heard about a sa situation i understand that but still why?
Vent Over
if you read this thanks ig it’s just nice to know an another living body knows my problems so I’m not necessarily suffering alone <3
TL;DR I really need a hug ffs
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ir0n-angel · 2 years
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I wasn’t tagged, but this is my blog and I’ll do what I want. And since I wasn’t tagged, I’m not going to specifically tag anyone else. However, this is an open invite for anyone who’d like to do it. Yes, this means you. 🌼
Random Facts About Me
Favourite colour: Give me the whole rainbow, because there’s not a color I don’t like.
Favourite food: (in no particular order) Sushi, pizza, steak, burgers, every variety of sausage, all fruit except melons (texture), fancy cheeses, and ALL THE POTATOES. When you can get me to sit still long enough to eat, I really do enjoy food.
Song stuck in your head: “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen, which means Freddie’s worried about me today. I’m doing all right, darling.
Last thing you googled: McDonald’s nugget sauces because it’s been literal years and I didn’t know what to tell the kiddo when he asked.
Time: 9:45
Dream Trip: Iceland and/or Hawai’i. Volcanos? Yes, please.
Last book you read: “Ghostland: An American History in Haunted Places” by Colin Dickey. Not your average haunted tours book. In fact, nothing haunted about it. It’s a history of places that got a reputation for being haunted to mask their true tragedies, and a lesson that we need to remember the real people, not just legends.
Last book you enjoyed reading: “What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions” by Randall Munroe. I read it with my kids and we had an absolutely delightful time.
Last book you hated reading: “Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad. It was 24 years ago and I had to read it for a high school literature class assignment. What the absolute fuck?! Like, goddamn, y’all!
Favourite thing to cook/bake: Ooh, hard to answer this one. I’m a gourmand and making food for my loved ones is a love language. So I’ll say, currently, Italian sausage balls. A little bit of work for me, but low-to-no effort way for my beloveds to have breakfast when they otherwise just don’t wanna.
Favourite craft to do in your spare time: What’s this ‘spare time’ you speak of? I used to write, do beading, and drawing. Nowadays, the most I can do is modify and experiment with recipes to make them allergen free. Seriously, “Did you eat?” means “I love you.” with me.
Most niche dislike: Why the fuck do they only make plus-sized women’s clothes in black, gray, plum, and mustard?! No really, look at the plus-sized section next time you’re in a department/big box store. The most unflattering colors you’ve ever seen in your life! I’m big, I’m buff, and I’m beautiful. I deserve pretty patterns and lovely colors. Put me in colors that make me harder to see because you don’t want to look at me? That’s a you problem, buddy.
Opinion on circuses now and in history: Historically, they were a fucking nightmare. Animals and ‘abnormal’ humans were so mistreated. Though for the humans, it was really the only time they were allowed to be visible and acknowledged. That’s a bar so low, it’s the Devil’s shower curtain rod. These days it’s much better. I love everything from Cirque du Soleil to traveling carpa. I know that the inner workings can still be harsh, but people can leave whereas the animals couldn’t.
Do you have a sense of direction and if not what is the worst way you ever got lost: I can tell you where north is, but that doesn’t stop me from getting horribly lost. GPS does not help. I’m not joking when I tell people that Siri is trying to murder me. Once, she put me on a road that ended in a literal train track, ON the train track. Another time, she put me on a logging road (a dirt road for trucks to haul lumber out of the forest) and then lost signal. Recently she put me in a marsh and I had to call Lamb to figure out how to get back to civilization. So I guess it’s not really a bad sense of direction, but rather being given bad instructions in an area I don’t know. I’m also bad about getting lost in video games, too; World of Warcraft being the worst one. Do you know how many places start with the word “Black” all over those maps? Like, do game devs know there are other colors in the English lexicon?
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