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anyroads · 2 years

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OK you know what, if we're gonna talk about Bake Off then fuck it, let's do this.

It used to be this wholesome, lovely show! We used to watch it for the bakers! And the learning! And the light banter and occasional bit of coy innuendo! What happened?

Channel 4 happened. When they bought the show they made a number of changes, most of them Not Good™️. Not just in the sense of them resulting in a lot of 😬 and 🫠 moments, but in the sense of how they changed the show's purpose, atmosphere, and brand.

Look, I know most people are just like, "whatever, it's just a baking show," and yeah, sure. But it's one of the UK's most successful TV exports, and where it once shifted the tone of reality competition to being wholesome and supportive of contestants, it's since moved towards creating tension at the contestants' cost. So aside from the fact that most people watching it signed up to watch a nice show, it has also shifted the goalposts of what that even means. And that, lovelies and gentlefolk, is some bullshit.

I decided to break my rant analysis into four main parts: theme weeks, the hosts, the judges, and the bakers. Let's get to it!

Theme Weeks:

If you watch Bake Off, you know the show's always had a specific theme for each week. The staples that come up in most seasons are:

cake

biscuit

bread

pudding/dessert

pastry

patisserie

Less common but consistent are things like caramel and chocolate week.

Then there are the fun episodes! When GBBO was on the BBC, this started out with things tea week, tarts, pies, tray bakes, basically little tangents still focused on emphasizing specific baking skills. In Series 6 (still on the BBC) they had their first nation-focused theme week with French week -- fairly innocuous given that a lot of patisserie is French, France and England share much more culture than either cares to admit [Norman Flag dot gif], and it was a nice change from watching Paul make the bakers do recipes that involved boiling things while talking about how wonderful boiled doughs are (are they, Paul? Are they?).

The show kept mixing it up with innocuous themes like advanced dough and alternative ingredients weeks, European cakes, Victorian week, batter week, and botanical week. And while it was frustrating to watch Paul Hollywood mispronounce things like the Hungarian Dobos Torta and lecture bakers on babka when he clearly knew nothing about it (or about Jewish baking in general, go off Past Me), the show's general attitude was that the judges had their own opinions, which were separate from the immutable facts around the chemistry of baking (more on this later) and shouldn't affect how bakers are judged.

After the show moved to Channel 4, the number of themed weeks increased and more of them focused on specific countries. In 6 seasons on the BBC, there were only two country-focused theme weeks, and in 5 seasons on Channel 4 there have been five. And while they've also had themes like vegan baking, roaring 20s, the 1980s, spice week, etc. the show has really started to go hard on exoticizing other cultures in outright disrespectful and racist ways. There's been Italian and Danish week, German, Japanese (it wasn't, it was East Asian week), and now Mexican week (which doesn't touch on interspersed Jewish bakes that didn't get a theme week, like versions of bagels and babka set as technical challenges that were borderline hate crimes and mansplained by a guy who has no idea how to make either and once wrote in a cookbook that challah was traditionally eaten during Passover). Each time the hosts played up the theme with racist bits and jokes that can be used as evidence in court if your case is "why should shows with scripted content have a professional writing staff."

Which touches on other issues the show has now...

The Hosts:

When GBBO was on the BBC, the show was hosted by ✨Mel Giedroyc✨ and ✨Sue Perkins✨. They encouraged the bakers! They'd hold stuff for them sometimes! They were interested in them! If a baker had a breakdown, they would start singing copyrighted material to render the footage unusable! When the show moved to Channel 4, they left, though I'm not unconvinced that Channel 4 offered them impossible to accept contracts to force them out so they could rebrand the show. They replaced them with Sandy Toksvig and Noel Fielding. Sandy was a lovely host in the vein of Mel and Sue, and she and Noel had a relatively sweet rapport, but she left a few seasons ago and was replaced by Matt Lucas.

Noel Fielding is mostly known for his quirky brand of comedy, a sort of British Zooey Deschanel who's goth from the neck up, an upperclass British gay divorcee from the neck down, and basically an early 60s Beatle re: trousers. Matt Lucas has almost definitely never watched a single episode of GBBO and his most redeeming quality is his thinly veiled contempt for Paul Hollywood.

The two treat the baking tent as their personal playground. Far from the supportive attitude of Mel and Sue, they tend to get in the bakers' way during the most stressful moments, especially when they try to do hilarious "comedy" bits (I can't not put that in quotes) like Noel's talking wooden spoon thing, or Matt talking over Noel to do time calls. During theme weeks like Japanese and Mexican week, they do culture-specific bits that are both racist ("just Juan joke" and "is Mexico a real place?") and unsurprising, given that both Matt and Noel did blackface on their respective sketch shows and absolutely could and should have known better because it was already the current fucking century.

All this to say, there's now a separation between the bakers and the hosts, as if they're on different shows. The hosts are doing their own thing and the bakers are doing GBBO. The show has gotten meaner to the bakers, and the hosts aren't there to support them anymore, they're just there to be comic relief. Because when you refocus your show on stressing the bakers the fuck out, you need a forced laugh I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The Judges:

First of all, a sincere congratulations to Paul Hollywood who managed to squeeze I jUsT cAmE bAcK fRoM mExIcO aNd YeT sTiLL pRoNoUnCe PiCo De GaLLo As 'PiKa De KaLLa' and I aM aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS wHiCh aRe MaDe WiTh DiGeStiVe BiScUiTs AcCoRdiNg tO mE, aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS, just two in a giant pile of astoundingly wrong hot takes, into a short enough time span that they all aired within Liz Truss's term as Prime Minister. A true man of accomplishments.

In the interest of fairness, I need to preface this with a disclaimer that, due to the fact that I've been watching Bake Off for most of its run, I'm biased. Specifically, I can't stand Paul Hollywood's smarmy, classist, egomaniac ass because he's proven time and again he's more interested in looking smart than actually knowing what he's talking about. Since the show moved to Channel 4, they've changed the occasional handshake Paul would give bakers to the HoLlYwOoD hAnDsHaKe™️. It's gone from being an emphasis of someone's skill to a goal, a reward, and one that emphasizes the judges' place above the bakers.

The judges used to function as teachers, imparting their skills and insights to the bakers. When the show was on the BBC, the voiceover leading to a judging would focus on the bakers' work being finished, saying how it will now be evaluated based on their skill and how well they met the brief. The voiceovers now, on Channel 4, focus on the judging (literally saying something along the lines of, "the bakers will now be judged by Prue and Paul"). There is a clear distinction Channel 4's producers have made, to mark that the show is now about whether or not the judges approve, not whether the brief was understood and executed well. On the BBC, it was irrelevant whether the judges liked a particular flavor, as long as the bake was well-made. Now, the bakers are expected to know the judges tastes and cater to them, which is frankly bullshit. A judge doesn't have to like a flavor to know whether or not it was executed well, ie. is it carrying a bake and was it meant to etc.

The judges have been turned into a brand. Cynically, Channel 4 knows that by building them up and focusing the show more on them, they can exploit their image more for profit. In the process, they've become much more biased and their own biases have come out as well. Most recently in the flaming dumpster fire that was Mexican Week, Paul Hollywood tried to intimidate a baker by telling them he had just gotten back from Mexico (which must have been a fruitful learning trip if he couldn't even learn how to pronounce pico de gallo correctly). Where do I even start with this? Here's an amateur baker from England (the show specifically casts middle and lower middle class bakers for the most part??) who likely can't afford trips to Mexico, who lives in a country with incredibly limited access to Mexican cuisine, who is expected not only to understand the cooking and baking traditions of a completely different culture but to do so well enough to play with it and do something creative with it. On top of which, one of the judges is now using his privilege of traveling halfway around the world as some kind of leverage, as if this were a bar that any amateur British baker could clear.

Prue, meanwhile, has openly asserted her biases against cultural flavors and textures, prioritizing her own personal preferences over them, as if they were in any way relevant to the skills and knowledge necessary to execute the tasks she sets to the bakers. She has also been consistently elitist, criticizing bakers for choices they made that were clearly informed by their experiences within income brackets that are too low and foreign for Prue to comprehend. She once had a go at a baker on a Christmas special because his Christmas dinner themed bake didn't have a turkey, even though it was clear from the stories he shared of his own Christmases that his family likely couldn't afford one. "It's not really Christmas dinner without a turkey," Prue said into the camera angrily while sitting on a chair made of live orphans and telling the ghost of Christmas Future to come back when he had another museum gift shop necklace for her to round out her collection.

The show is no longer about which baker has the best skills. It's become about which mortal can appease the gods of Mount Olympus, ie. the judges.

The Bakers:

Remember when the show was about them? Channel 4 doesn't! Because this is a reality competition show, the bakers are chosen both based on their skills, as well as cast-ability. They're cast as characters, distinct from each other, from different areas, age groups, ethnicities. All of them are amateurs. All of them are middle or lower middle class. They've ranged from college students to supermarket cashiers to prison wardens to scientists.

Something I noticed when the show moved to Channel 4 is that the baker who goes home in the first week is always wildly behind the rest in skills. I have no proof of this other than my eyeballs and deductive reasoning skills, but I think that Channel 4 deliberately casts a ringer each season who they think will be an easy send-off in the first week, just to get the audience's feet wet.

Anyway, like I said, this show used to be about the bakers - about them building skills and learning, and having walked into the tent with a self-taught foundation and understanding of the processes and chemical reactions involved in baking. When the show was on the BBC, the end of each round had some (often brief) moments of tension - will they finish in time? Will they get their bakes on the plate before time is up? Did they forget to add sugar to their batter and only remember at the last minute? In the end, they usually managed to finish and we'd all breathe a sigh of relief and think, yeah! You go, Bakers Who I'm Rooting For!

Now, on Channel 4, the end of round drama has been stretched to be so much longer that they've composed extra music for it. The bakers often seem out of their depth, whether because the instructions for the technical challenge are too vague (bake a lemon meringue pie??? As if anyone in the UK under the age of 60 has had one in the last decade???), or because they were expected to bake something that required a more than a basic foundation they weren't told of. Often it seems like they just aren't given enough time, a tactic used by reality competition shows to manipulate contestants into giving the cameras more dramatic content. On top of all this, the hosts get in their way, instead of helping them plate their bakes. As has been pointed out before, when everyone fails the challenge, the real failure lies with whoever set it.

In conclusion:

The show no longer exists to teach the bakers - and the audience - skills or knowledge. It now manipulates contestants for dramatic effect and prioritizes showing conflict over wholesome content. Channel 4 sees the bakers as social media content they can churn out season after season, and don't care about them because in a few months there'll be a new batch to exploit. Meanwhile, the judges are also out of their depth, co-opting recipes from other cultures and butchering them horrendously, while the camera gives them nothing but status as they hold bakers to the expectation that they learn how to make things very much the wrong way. If you saw any of the tweets about Mexican or Japanese week, or read my post on how Paul Hollywood isn't allowed to go near babka ever again, you'll understand.

So what would fix all this? Scrap the current judges and the hosts altogether. Bring back Mel and Sue, and replace the judges with expert bakers who have a love of their craft and want to share it with others. The draw of GBBO used to be its warmth and comfort - if Channel 4 isn't going to start its own version of Master Chef For Bakers, then it needs to stop trying to find a balance of how it can insert that vibe into GBBO. It can't. That's not a thing. Stop trying.

#GBBO #paul hollywood #prue leith #the great british bake off

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intergalacticfop · 6 months

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Minoan Heanos

The distinctive open-front dresses worn by Minoan women are probably even more iconic than the multi-layered kilts. Over time, there's dispute whether the garment is one piece or a separate bodice and skirt, but currently the one-piece theory is in ascendance.

The word heanos is derived from the Linear B logogram *146, wehanos. The wes- prefix, which is the squiggle in the middle, indicates a garment. Bernice Jones believes that this logogram represents the garment worn by Minoan men and women.

Marie-Louise B. Nosch, The Textile Logograms in the Linear B Tablets, pp 133-138

More research and construction below the cut:

The theory that the garment is a full-length tunic is further supported from imagery from the time, like these figures from the c. 1400 BCE Hagia Triada Sarcophagus. This detail from the sarcophagus shows three figures in some kind of procession, 2 women and 1 man. The woman at left wears a tunic with some kind of pelt as a skirt, and the other 2 figures wear tunics without anything over them, showing that they are one continuous, ankle-length garment.

Some of the most important resources for interpreting how the heanos was constructed comes from the two women depicted in the House of the Ladies in Akrotiri, wherein the side seams of the tunic are clearly visible running along the side of the body and under the arm.

details of figures from the House of the Ladies, Akrotiri, via Wikimedia Commons

advadbsvasb

Diagrams from Bernice Jones' book Ariadne's Threads, p. 82, via Gorgeous Tangents

The heanos itself is made of 3 pieces of fabric: 1 back and 2 fronts. These diagrams show a concave hem like on the labrys-shaped kilt but I went with a straight hem, which is an equally valid option. The end of the sleeves are level with the edge of the hem at the widest point. This would probably be the width selvage-to-selvage on the fabric, being narrower than fabric widths commonly are today. There are 4 seams: the shoulder seam, the two side seams, and a front seam (optional, but recommended if you would prefer not being arrested.) It may be tempting to fold the fabric across the shoulder, so the only sewing is side seams and a neck hole, but this makes a weaker garment overall. I used this as a shortcut in my fitting muslin and it caused tears and weak points at the three points of the front opening.

my fabric was a lightweight, moderately loose-woven cotton with a supplementary weave pattern in squares and diamonds. Linen or wool would have been more accurate but also? much harder to find from online quilting stores selling fabric for affordable prices. The main fabric is dark orange and the pattern is made out of pink/lilac threads. This weaving technique resulted in a LOT of long floats (unsecured expenses of thread) on the back--you can see how the wrong side of the fabric is much pinker than the right side. These floats could snag easily if I wasn't careful, so while it made a very effective visual for this tunic, I do not think that this fabric type would be viable for everyday wear. I'll leave it to people who actually know about weaving to ponder what more accurate weaving techniques would be.

Construction

The overall pattern is basically a T-shaped tunic, and the most important measurements are shoulder circumference, shoulder width, bust circumference, and the shoulder-waist length. In addition, you need measurements for the bicep, waist, shoulder-navel length, and hip circumference. After working out the fit with a muslin, I ended up with this pattern, 1 of 4 identical quarters.

Your first impulse may be to make the tunic very close-fitting, since the depictions in frescoes are skin-tight, but since the pattern has no added gusset this is a recipe for Cannot Move Arm. So I gave a very generous curve under the arm, which also made the dress look better when my arms were down, avoiding armpit wrinkles. I continued that ease into about an extra 2 inches added on to my waist measurement and plenty of extra space around my hips so that I could do exciting things like Sit Down.

I sewed the shoulder and side seams using the machine, and felled the raw edges on each side of the seam by hand with a whipstitch. I foided back the front edges of the v-neck instead of cutting them, which was a tip I got from the Gorgeous Tangents blog. This strengthens the neckline and keeps it from stretching, and also means that everything can be readjusted if you have size fluctuations or just want to modify the tunic into something more or less modest.

I whipstitched the front edges together by hand--the contrasting selvage didn't matter because it would be covered up by trim. I ended up cutting the tunic a liiiittle shorter than I wanted, so I finished it with some leftover bias binding instead of hemming it to conserve as much length as possible.

Trim

I custom-ordered the woven tape trim from Long Creek Mercantile. Both are made of wool--the "header band" and the hem trim are 1 1/4" wide and the center-front and cuff trim are 3/8" wide. I observed that most images of the Minoan heanos show trim with two colors at most, in a simple geometric or linear pattern, so I consciously restrained myself from ordering anything more elaborate. The clothing on Minoan frescoes is characterized by strongly contrasting colors, so blue trim was the most obvious, and best-looking option. Orange tunics with blue trim appear multiple time in art like the "Dancing Lady" fresco from Knossos:

Dr. Jones suggests that the band across the shoulder would historically have been a header band--a band of threads woven at the beginning of a project in order to properly space the warp bands (see her diagram at the beginning). That may be a reason why the shoulder trim often depicted under the front or sleeve trim, as shown above. Regardless, the trim almost always coordinates.

I sewed on the shoulder trim by hand, the sleeve and hem trim by machine, and the center-front trim with a combination of both.

Tassels

Many frescoes from Akrotiri and Hagia Triada show the ends of the supposed header band turned into tassels. This embellishment is not universal among heanoi, as you can see from the "Dancing Lady" above, but it does add a fun little something!

(yes, my Lounging Pants are very fashionable)

I turned the excess ends of the shoulder "header band" trim into fringes, knotting the yellow ones into a lattice and turning the blue yarns into tassels. The lattice-tassel appears on a fresco from Hagia Triada:

Reproduction of fragmentary fresco from Room 14 at Hagia Triada, Crete

The saffron gatherers from Akrotiri shown below have clearly displayed fringes at the ends of their sleeves. The one on the left has red fringes that appear knotted or ravelled/unravelled in an undulating pattern, and the one on the right has fringes that may be either beaded with papyrus-shaped leaves or cut into short tassels.

Another option is leaving the fringes loose, as seen in the Akrotiri frescoes from Xeste, room 3:

The final garment was super comfy, actually! It's much simpler to create than I thought it would be based on the frescoes, which made it all feel pretty magical when everything came together. I did think it was a little unusual how tailored this garment is, and the potential waste of fabric that comes from a shaped garment, especially compared to how later ancient greek clothing was mainly rectangles. I don't know enough about bronze-age and earlier clothing to have any idea how typical this was, since I'm extremely Not an expert on this subject, but am always open to learning more!

#historical costuming #minoan #minoan crete #reference #clothing reconstruction #bronze age #resources

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sydscarm · 2 months

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end of beginning, part one.

carmen berzatto x childhood bestfriend!reader word count : 2.3k warning(s) : none!

and when i'm back in chicago, i feel it. another version of me, i was in it.

9 YEARS AGO.

"i don't understand why you're so mad at me! you said you were fine with me working at the beef!"

this was the first and only fight they would have about this. after begging and begging his older brother to hire him at his restaurant, carmen berzatto was still not even allowed on the premises. carmy really just wanted to take orders. or sweep. or wash dishes. or just anything. but no. micheal berzatto wouldn't even let his little brother in the front door. carmy had complained to his best friend tirelessly about how much he wanted to work at the beef and how hard he had worked to prove himself to his older brother and she listened intensely. she too had applied at the beef but since mikey wouldn't even hire his own flesh and blood, she knew she had no shot at getting the job herself. being the younger sister of micheal's best friend came with its perks, of course. she was always invited to christmas dinner and had been given the recipe on how to make the best italian beef sandwiches. but it also came with its downfalls. being the same age as his younger brother, mikey held her to almost the same standard that he held carmy. she was only allowed at the beef on special occasions and she thought she had no chance at being bestowed the honor of washing dishes in the dirty kitchen of the beef.

two months ago, y/n had tagged along with her brother, richie, on a run to the restaurant. richie had to drop off paperwork for something she really wasn't interested in and after relentless begging, he had let her come with. it was only supposed to be a short trip. they were going to run into the shop, drop off some papers, and maybe get a sandwich to-go. but what was supposed to be a quick visit turned into a multiple hour affair. richie and mikey had gotten to talking and there was no stopping it when mikey started on one of his tangents. somewhere in their hours long conversation, y/n's older brother had decided to throw his sister a bone and mention to his friend that she was "on his ass" about wanting to work at the beef. mikey had immediately shut him down but after glancing at the girl sitting nearby, a pout on her lip and her hands folded together in a silent plea, he reluctantly agreed to give her a job. it was only after school and on the weekends and the pay was terrible and she was only allowed to clean tables and mop the floors, but it got her in the door. she was ecstatic.

as soon as she got home, she immediately called her best friend. the excitement was evident in her voice, which in turn made carmy's heart race as he waited anxiously for what she going to tell him. his smile dropped and his stomach churned when the words "i got a job at the beef" left her mouth. he could hear the grin in her tone and she could hear the long pause carmy took after she told him the news. she apologized profusely, of course. she knew how much that job had meant to him and she felt guilty that she had gotten it instead. she assured him over and over that if he didn't want her to take the job, she wouldn't. their friendship was much more important to her than $7.25 an hour and sweeping up pieces of beef that had fallen to the floor. she could hear him gulp and sigh and she fully expected him to tell her no. but instead she heard him stutter, shuffle around, and say, "no, it's fine. i'm happy for you."

that was two months ago. y/n hadn't done much else in her time working at the beef than mop and take an order when mikey let her. it wasn't fun and the pay was awful, but y/n couldn't remember the last time she would wake up that excited. the day that her and carmy had their fight, she had gotten up early on a saturday, put on her non-slip shoes and a "the original beef of chicagoland" t-shirt, and sat in the car while she waited for richie. they had gotten there earlier than normal and the chefs were in the beginning stages of prepping for the day. y/n had put her stuff in the office, there was no locker for her, and prepared to sit around all morning until the restaurant finally opened. she had only been sitting for about 15 minutes when mikey popped his head in the door.

"yo, honey," he had started, the nickname he gave her 16 years ago making its usual appearance, "do you wanna help us prep today?"

she was shocked. her mouth was agape and she just stared at him. did she want to prep? to her that was the equivalent of asking her if she wanted a million dollars. "uh…" she looked around the room. she was kind of unsure if she was being pranked or not.

mikey laughed. "you're just chopping fucking onions and tomatoes, dude. it's not hard."

y/n, albeit nervously, laughed back. "uh, yeah! y-yes. i would love to help prep."

"then c'mon."

she was on cloud nine. for two hours mikey let her cut tomatoes and peppers and onions and stir a pot or two. she was smiling the entire time. richie and mikey had laughed at how excited she was but she didn't care. this was the most exciting thing that had happened to her thus far. after her shift was completely over, the floors mopped and the open sign turned to close, she ran all the way from her house to carmy's. she opened the door without knocking and took the stairs two at a time to get to his room.

"bear! guess what?!" she was out of breath, bent over with her hands on her knees. carmy was sitting in his desk chair facing her with his eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed. she had just burst into his room yelling after all.

"what?" he had chuckled at her.

"mikey… fuck, give me a second." she was still catching her breath.

"did you run all the way here?" carmy asked. it wasn't the first time she felt she had news so important that she ran the mile from her house to his.

"yes! anyway," she was bouncing on the balls of her feet, a telltale sign she was about to burst with excitement, "mikey let me help prep today! isn't that so exciting! it was only cutting onions and tomatoes and what not but he-"

carmy had tuned her out. he was fine with her working at the beef, really. he was happy for her. but only if she was washing dishes. it was a low level job. it didn't require any of the chef skills they were both so proud of. he was fine with that. he didn't need to prove to mikey that he was capable of wiping tables but his knife skills were something he was really proud of. he would never say this to y/n, but his knife skills were better than hers. and mikey let her chop vegetables.

"are you serious?"

she was mid sentance and her smile shook a little bit when he interrupted her. "uh, yeah! isn't that so cool?"

he rolled his eyes. he didn't mean to, not really. the jealousy was basically oozing from his pores. "yeah. yeah that's super fucking cool, y/n."

she just stood there, eyebrows furrowed. "are you mad at me?"

carmy swiveled around in his chair to rest his elbows on his small desk, his hands coming up to cover his face. a knot began to form in his throat and his breaths started coming out a bit shaky. he wasn't angry at her persay, he was more angry at mikey than anything. ever since y/n got her job at the beef, carmy had started working so much harder in front of mikey in hopes that he'd hire him too. he'd get to work with his best, and only, friend and maybe, if he practiced hard enough, mikey would let him prep sometimes. but none of it had mattered. mikey was going to let y/n work at the restaurant and let y/n prep and leave nothing for his own brother.

"i mean i'm not exactly happy," carmy mumbled through his hands.

y/n stood behind him, playing with her fingers. she was kind of unsure of what to say. she would offer to quit to save their friendship, but she didn't really want to. she really liked working the beef and after today, there was a hope deep inside her that mikey would let her take on bigger duties.

"i could talk to mikey again, if you want. you know, to see if he'll reconsider hiring you."

carmy groaned. i wasn't really about having the job anymore. it was more about mikey trusting her more than he trusted him. he spun around quickly, his arms falling back to his sides. "i don't even know why you took that job in the first place."

she was taken aback and she scoffed, almost as a reflex. "what? you said you were fine with it!" "well obviously i'm not!" he yelled at her. he yelled. carmy had always been soft spoken and shy. it was only recently that he started talking back to his mom and, apparently, yelling at his best friend.

y/n just stared at him. "well, i don't know what you want me to do about it now."

"quit."

her eyes widened and her stomach dropped. she could feel that he was going to say that, but hearing it out loud was much different. "what?"

he stepped closer to her and she could see the anger in his face. his eyes were filled with tears, though. the anger on his face a direct contrast to the sadness that filled his eyes. "i want you to quit."

y/n lowered her head under his gaze. she was never one to shy away from carmy but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. and she almost gave in. she almost told him yes and that she would quit in order to make his pain go away. but she couldn't. she loved that job. she loved the way the kitchen smelled while everyone was prepping and she loved the soft sound of mikey's radio ringing out from back of house. she couldn't give that up. even if it meant breaking the heart of her best friend.

"i can't," she whispered.

carmy's stomach churned and for a second he thought he was going to throw up. he knew she was going to say no. and he felt awful for the thoughts clouding his mind. the ultimatum left his mouth before he had thought enough about it to stop it.

"i-if you keep working at the beef, i don't.. i don't think we can be friends."

if she wasn't on the verge of tears before, she is now. she tried to blink away the tears clouding her vision but they just rolled down her cheeks. what was she supposed to say? carmy was her best, and only, close friend. she had other friends, sure. but none of them understood or knew her the way that carmy did. they had been best friends since birth, thanks to their older brothers. but she couldn't quit her job at the beef, she knew that. and as much as he didn't want to admit it, carmy knew it too.

"that's… really selfish, carmen."

he knew that. he knew that before the words had even formed in his brain. but hearing her call him selfish coupled with the fact that she called him carmen, something she never did, ignited something in him. a rage that he had never felt before and he didn't even know if it was directed at her.

"i think choosing a fucking job over your friendship with me is even more selfish!"

she scoffed, the tears drying almost immediately. "i don't understand why you're so mad at me! you said you were fine with me working at the beef!"

"that's just not something you do, y/n! i've wanted that job years longer than you! you just wanted to work there because don't have any hobbies other than fucking following me around!"

ok. ouch.

"i like my job at the beef so much because it gives me chance to get the fuck away from you!" she didn't mean it, but she needed to find something to say that would hurt him as much as he hurt her. "i get that you don't have any other fucking friends but god! asking me to quit my job because you don't like that i'm spending time away from you is pathetic."

he was taken aback. that hurt. fighting with someone who knows you better than anyone else is a risky move. they both knew exactly what to say that would hurt each other the most.

y/n grabs her keys that she threw on carmy's bed and turned to fling open the door.

carmy scoffed. "i don't know who the fuck you are anymore."

"not your best friend, apparently." and with that, she slammed his bedroom door.

and she was right. after being no contact for nine year and two moves to new york later, they both have new best friends. until mikey died and they both move back to chicago, only to find that the beef was left to two people. the names on the operating agreement? y/n jerimovich and carmen berzatto.

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 2 months

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Favorite things I've seen in actual history books:

Biographer calling their subject "weird" multiple times per chapter.

Author casually insulting historical figures who appear for one paragraph and never again.

In-line citation provided only to mention author disagrees with the person cited.

Straight male biographer includes multiple gay/bisexual anecdotes without realizing his subject is gay/bisexual.

Author provides long list of books about a very specific topic, but excludes a famous one because they think it's garbage and refuse to acknowledge it exists.

20 year running feud between two academics carried on solely through snippy footnotes.

Author goes on tangent about philosophy unrelated to rest of the book.

Author visibly trying to stay professional while translating bad puns and dirty poetry.

Author roasting their own classical sources.

Editor telling you not to try a classical author's recipe because it does not work.

Author is part of a historical reenactment club and shares pictures of themself in costume to demonstrate.

Biographer who clearly had more respect for their subject before writing this book than afterward.

#jlrrt speaks #books #just roman memes #history books

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foggysirens · 9 months

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been having thoughts™️ about dinluke as youtube chefs where dins channel is something akin to binging with babish- very chill, instructional vibes where he doesn’t show his face and wants the attention to be on what he’s creating rather than himself, but the wit, sarcasm and charm in his scripts are a big factor that keep people coming back- luke on the other hand has a channel that’s something more along the lines of matty matheson- just diving into a recipe with as little preamble as possible, swearing loudly every second word and going off on little tangents that kind of relate to what he’s doing, but are mostly just him saying the most random bullshit, but at the end he has this fantastic looking dish prepared- and like between their channels they’re both really popular so for like a charity event or something they’re paired together to film a couple “cooking with” style videos and everyone is prepared for it to be super awkward because of how on the surface they’d seem to clash but when they’re on camera together it’s just this explosion of chemistry and din keeps up with lukes wild energy no problem and luke easily begins to copy dins style of more subtle quips until they just fall into this perfect combination of cooking and banter and it’s safe to say that the videos they upload afterwards become the most popular on both of their channels

#dinluke #din djarin #luke skywalker #star wars #mj.chatter

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zaacoy · 1 year

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Freeeeeeeeeenooodles where!!!

✦ They bundle up together while they watch movies, they often end up falling asleep leaning against each other like this.

✦ Tang is REALLY BAD at dealing with horror, Pigsy's just okay with it. Whenever they watch a horror movie Tang tends to clutch onto Pigsy for dear life and buries his face in Pigsy's shoulder or neck whenever a jumpscare comes up. Pigsy has been scared more times by Tang screaming directly in his ear than he has by any of the movies they've watched. Married/Established relationship freenoodles: Pigsy tends to move Tang from his side to his lap so as to make him feel safer. They end up hugging the entire time, Tang occasionally falls asleep there if he's comfortable enough.

✦ Tang gets REALLY excited about a story he's rereading again or something new he's found and he immediately bolts to pigsy to frantically tell him everything. He also rants to Pigsy whenever he's trying to investigate how certain contradicting legends and story points fit together in the hopes that saying it out loud helps him make sense of it. Even if he doesn't understand and remember everything Tang says, Pigsy tends to listen to these findings and tangents anyway just because he likes to hear Tang talk.

✦ Though he does earnestly love hearing Tang's voice, sometimes (due to sensory overload probably) Pigsy just needs quiet. Tang has an unfortunate habit of not really noticing his surroundings and failing to pick up social ques when he's really deep in a lecture he's passionate about. Whenever Pigsy needs some silence for a while and Tang doesn't notice Pigsy grabs his face, gives him a kiss, taps his lips twice with a finger as a silent "no more talking" gesture, and then slides him over a free bowl of noodles before going back to work. This never fails to fluster the crap out of Tang for a few moments, Pigsy finds his reaction cute. Pigsy takes note of whatever story Tang was talking about at the moment and asks him to continue it at a different time when he can handle more noise.

✦ They're both susceptible to flirting but in different ways. Tang is a fairly good smooth talker and tends to get a flustered reaction out of Pigsy via excessive attention and compliments. Pigsy on the other hand starts addressing Tang by various different pet names in a loving tone of voice and Tang melts.

✦ With the exception of when there's a situation where one of them needs extra comfort from the other, there really isn't any big or little spoon. They're always cuddled together but its more so like a tangled pressed together mess than anything else.

✦ Pigsy snores at a volume equivalent to a truck horn but Tang sleeps like a rock so it evens out. Tang drools a river in his sleep and Pigsy has just gradually gotten used to it over the years.

✦ In college they tended to crash at each others' dorms for study sessions. Whenever Pigsy was trying out a new recipe Tang was THE resident taste tester!! Unless he was busy and Sandy or a classmate could take his place Tang was always there and more than happy to try out Pigsy's food. Pigsy frequently had to drag Tang away from schoolwork to make him take needed breaks. Sandy and Pigsy were the ones who used to break stuff and get in trouble when they were young, Tang just enjoyed watching it all go down. Both of them were more than willing to throw hands to protect Tang if need be.

✦ Unmarried freenoodles: baby mk learned somehow through books or Mei that parents were usually married. He was devastated when he found out that his two dad's were, in fact, not married and tried several times to try and make a wedding for them to the best of his 5-8 year old abilities. Baby mk also made them hold hands because that's what parents do according to baby logic, it was a necessity really.

✦ Forehead kisses. LOTS of forehead kisses. As a hello, goodbye, subtle display of affection, etc. Many many forehead kisses.

✦ Tang's ankle injury is legitimate and Pigsy has had to carry Tang around on rare occasion because of it. Pigsy likes to do so by literally sweeping him off his feet and carrying him bridal style, resulting in a momentarily surprised and flustered Tang.

Freenoodles :3

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holymolyineedtherapy · 28 days

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My Strawhat Headcanons Part Four:

Usopp

Taught himself how to read and write. He would practice by sitting outside the school and listening in on lessons then would read the names of the boats and other things he worked on.

Got his love of art from his mom. I feel like she used to paint with Usopp and she taught him about different types of techniques and stuff.

He has a true passion for art but feels like it hurts his masculinity so he tends to call himself a shipwright instead.

Starts to embrace his artsy side more after joining the crew. Once he painted the Jolly Roger, Nami asked him about his skills and he went on a two hour tangent to talk about his mom.

Nami said, "Wow, what a nice way to keep her memory alive." And after that, he started making a lot more art.

He makes a lot of portraits of the crew, all of which get hung up around the ship.

Has a book club with Robin, Nami, Brook, and Chopper. They each take turns picking out books with Usopp usually choosing more heroic stories.

He originally started just talking about it with Nami after seeing her reading a book he used to.

Is the person everyone goes to for when they want to calm down.

Whether they want to chill or hear a story to distract them, Usopp has the chill Big Brother vibe that just let's everyone relax.

He doesn't understand why he's called the big brother if the ship because he's younger than most of the crew but he was a big brother to the three boys back at Syrup Village and he just has that vibe.

Writes letter to Kaya weekly! He also draws her pictures of their adventures, of course always making himself look better.

He also sends her little souvenirs from every island they travel to whether it be a bottle filled with sand and ocean water, or a recipe that Sanji got from the locals.

Always helps Franky out when he can and is always down to learn new things for the Sunny!!

#one piece #usopp #god usopp #usopp headcanons #hes so special #i love him sm #we need more usopp content in the world

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scorchieart · 1 year

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Happy, Wholesome Yves Headcanons

Because my week was full of baking sweets and pretty pink flowers, you all deserve some wholesome Evie vibes as well 🌸🌸🌸

Ask any prince to rank his favorite brothers and Yves will consistently appear in the top 3.

Tell Yves this and he’ll turn pinker than his freshly-baked peach berry pie.

Yves started a personal vegetable garden in the palace when he was first learning to cook so that he could have extra ingredients in case his recipes flop. They rarely flop. So he distributes most of his crop among families in his territory.

The palace cats patrol the garden and scare off thieving vermin.

Once, Licht couldn’t attend Yves’s tea party because of a conflict with his training schedule, so Nokto stepped in pretending to be him. Yves immediately figured out the switch, but didn’t mention anything.

Whenever any of the princes falls ill, Yves makes his specialty chicken soup and personally delivers it. His faction members have his nagging “I’m not leaving until you finish the entire bowl!” speech memorized, but Yves typically leaves the tray with a get-well letter and a knock at Chevalier and Clavis’s doors.

Whenever Yves falls ill, Sariel and Licht take turns standing guard at his door to make sure no undesirable pranksters decide to strike.

There are never any incidents. But the others pitch in to make or purchase Yves’s favorite sweets and stop by to check on him.

When Luke first arrived at the palace, Yves hoped to impress him with homemade honey treats. It only took two days to win him over completely. Two more days and the town was entirely out of honey.

Even though he isn’t a fan of the cold, Yves never misses the first snowfall of the season. He curls up by the window with a thick blanket, a large pot of tea, and a warm crumble cake and watches children pulling their parents into the streets to play in the fresh snow.

Growing up, Yves used to give apprentice and trainee cooks and tailors advice discretely from behind curtains and columns. Nowadays, artists and specialists travel from across the continent to seek guidance and approval at the hand of the fifth prince.

Requests from these visitors became so numerous that Yves fell behind on his official duties. To control demand, the first of May was designated a national festival for anyone to display their talents, from cooking and fashion to art and music, and Yves would spend the day meeting with each participant and giving reviews and feedback.

Tagging:@atelieredux @queengiuliettafirstlady @violettduchess @venulus @thewitchofbooks @leonscape @rhodolitesrose @venti-tangents @dear-sciaphilia @ikesenwritings @myonlyjknight @ladyofcrowsx @otomefoxystar

If you would like to be added or removed from my tag list, please send me an ask or a message.

#ikemen series #ikemen prince #ikepri #yves kloss #ikepri yves #ikemen headcanons #ikepri headcanons #scorchie writes

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vyrid · 11 days

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Hermione does not, in any way, overpower Tom Riddle, in any field.

For evidence purposes, I'll use all of their achievements from book one to book 7. Instead of going on a long, disorganized tangent, we'll cut them down into 3 categories: studies, wit, and talent/strength. (I swear theres a difference between wit + studies.)

Studies --

During school, Hermione:

Was referred to as the brightest witch of her school year by Lupin

Got 10 OWLS (2 less than Bill and Charlie)

Prefect

She did get Slughorn's favour to an extent

During school, Tom Riddle:

Was referred to as the brightest kid to step into Hogwarts (possibly ever) by Albus Dumbledore

His grades are never revealed, but it is implied time and time again that he was a model student with a spotless record

Prefect and Headboy

Got a Special Award For Services to the School (hes a rat 😭)

Slughorn's favorite despite being Muggleborn and broke

There is not much I can work on in the studies department, because there isn't much text to support their performances involving the school directly, but it's obvious that Tom Riddle takes the cake. With every bullet point presented, Riddle's side of achievments is always 3x more impressive. I would like to add that he thrived in DADA and didn't shy away from any dark subjects, while Hermione was too scared to put thought into DADA + was too impatient with Divination (which I don't blame her for.)

If I had to compare them involving other characters, I would say that Tom Riddle is right up there with Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald, while Hermione falls below tier near James Potter and Severus Snape.

If Severus Snape is no match for Tom Riddle (atleast when he was sane), then Hermione isn't a match for Severus. Snape was the BEST potions boy to go to Hogwarts -- it could be argued that Lily was also up there but yk shes dead so we don't care about that -- and he wasn't scared to apply his studies in the Dark Arts to real life. He was a smart kid, and even though he was below Tom Riddle in terms of brilliance, he was pretty darn smart. If Hermione cannot even reach his level, it's kind of silly to compare her to Tom Riddle.

Wit --

This one is a no brainer. The thing that sets them apart is their ability to think outside of the box.

Tom Riddle believed in a world of magic. He believed there was not a limit in which magic could be stopped. He achieved GREAT things simply by letting his trust in his own magic and the wonders of the Wizarding World lead him to his goals.

Hermione is close minded. She believes what she wants to believe, and most of her information comes from her precious, reliable books. She was too close minded to believe in divination. She was too close minded to sit back and think that, perhaps, house elves were made a certain way in which they ENJOYED labour (which is a whole other discussion), she was too close minded to believe in the Death Hallows. She was too close minded to think that there could possibly be a better, alternative recipe to a potion that didn't come straight from the school book. Her refusal to simply believe held her back from many opportunities.

Hermione is studious. Tom Riddle is BRILLIANT. Most of Hermione's knowledge comes from what she's been taught at school, but Tom Riddle went out and learned his own knowledge. And that's not a bad thing. Being studious and smart already sets her apart from many, many people.

But Tom Riddle wasn't just a studious guy. He was a genius, a prodigy, kind of a psychopath. He learned at a young age how and exactly when to use his strengths to get what he wants. He carried himself up as social ladder reserved solely for purebloods before even finding out his heritage as the descendant of Salazar Slytherin. He made a grown adult women scared of him as a child. He didn't use his wit for good, no, but was he pretty damn smart? Yeah.

Talent and Strength --

When Hermione was a kid, she learned to utilize what she had around her to catch up with other kids. She taught herself the syllabus before even getting into school and even learned spells without being taught by Professors! She was always the first one to get the spell right and was quick on her feet in an argument. She had a lot of brewing talent in her. It is not easy to be thrown into a whole new world but she took all of it with grace.

She was amazing at spells. When the trio ran away during the 7th book, she was their rock to lean on--for strength, for protection, for guidance. She knew every spell in the book to hide them away from Voldemort.

Her duelling skills, while not on par with Harry's, were pretty darn good, too. She could hold her own in a duel if she really needed to get out of their alive, using her quick thinking and sometimes, deception. Ex. (When she changed Harry's face to not resemble him when they got caught by snatchers.)

I give Hermione a lot of credit in the book. She was stronger than she needed to be at a young age, and she handled it better than most people did.

Tom Riddle on the other hand...

His talent is unmatched when it comes to anybody else.

He learned to get a hold on his magic and command it like the king that he is at the baby age of one digits. Because of all the instances at Wool's Orphanage, it isn't crazy to assume that this wasn't just a case of accidental magic. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew exactly how to call onto his magic to do his bidding. I don't think even Dumbledore could have said he was able to do that.

He was a parselmouth. It's less a talent and more a skill, but he used his hereditary trait to manipulate and use another type of magic to do what he wanted. Speaking to snakes is one thing--getting them to actually listen to you has to count for something.

He made horcruxes at the age of 16. That is a type of deadly, deadly magic. It is so forbidden it doesn't even fall under Forbidden magic because it's blasphemous to even think to do it. The fact that his magic was so strong that he could go through that process and come our alive is actually crazy.

He made a whole persona for himself, under Lord Voldemort, and got a whole race of people to follow him blindly. He wasn't even a pureblood and he still had them down on their knees. That's talent.

He could perform all forbidden curses with ease and not get drained. Moody says that you have to mean your intent and that nobody can *just* cast the curses. You have to have the willpower and strength to cast them--the fact that Voldemort could cast dozens of them at a time without thinking about it already sets him apart in strength from Hermione. I doubt even Snape, as he brilliant as he is, would dare push his limits like that.

I don't want this to get SUPER long, but here are some things I left out about Riddle and didn't know how to add on the list.

He found the long lost Chamber of Secrets during his time at Hogwarts. It was there for millions of years--he can't have been the ONLY descendant. It's safe to say he was one of the first people to open it and actually use it for his own gain.

He acquired the Elder Wand. I mean, so did Harry and Dumbledore, but it doesn't change the fact that he did. He was kind of dumb when he grew up and became all insane but that's impressive, too.

It is implied that he was at the brink of winning the war before Harry killed him on Halloween. If he hadn't taken the bait, maybe we'd see a world overrun by his power.

He didn't inspire fear in just Britain. He inspired fear across the world. Harry Potter was known across every wizarding community, such as Bulgaria. That means they must've known Voldemort too. There was lots of foreign people at the world cup, but every single one of them ran at the sight of the Death Eaters--which means they recognize his sign in some sort of way. The Gregrovitch family recognizes him, as does the German witch does when she sees him in folds in fear.

Sorry, this became a long rant of Voldemort's powers and not just a comparison, but it does go to show that Hermione being even near his level. It's just not plausible.

You're welcome to argue with me or correct me on my oversights! I haven't fact checked everything and I won't be offended if you correct some points. (Also there is a lot of typos and I have a cut on my finger so please dont kill me for my grammar 😭)

#Tom Riddle #hermione granger #tom riddle vs hermione granger #harry potter #harry potter and the deathly hallows #severus snape #??#in a way #he always shows up in these for some reason lmao hes just that iconic #power #comparison #harry potter discourse

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cloudytaemin · 1 year

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taemin as ur boyfriend pt. 2 <3

hes so adorable i cant i needed to write a part two sjdgdfh hope u enjoy more cute taeminnie :]

more bullet point style, hope you dont mind!

besides loving you at every second and showering you with attention whenever he can, since hes taemin, of course he sends you so many little gifts that you dont know what to do with them after a point

like the time you and him stayed up until three in the morning playing video games since he wanted to test out his new ps5 and the next morning you woke up to him at a schedule and he felt bad so he left you a note with the newest playstation exclusive game

on top of it while he was gone

youll play it for a few hours until he starts spam texting you on the way to his next schedule asking you if you like it and telling you how much he misses you

hell shower you with love at every chance he gets because he just cant get enough of you

he tries to cook for you at every chance and hes actually getting better but he still burns things sometimes

every time you freak over a different artist he gets jealous and says you should only love him, which, of course you do, but damn some idols are hot

he has to be clung to you as much as he can, his arms wrapped around you or your head in his lap on the couch

he asked you to move in with him after the first three months, he really couldnt get enough

he gives you one of his albums every time he has a comeback and you put it in your glass case of his signed albums because you know it makes him happy

he always takes you to fancy dinners despite having to wear a hat and glasses until you get into the private room hes booked since he has far too much money than he knows what to do with

taemin knows how much you love shinee so youll often go for dinners with kibum or be invited over to jinki's or go drinking with minho

jongin hears about you so much you may as well be taemins only interesting topic besides science documentaries on youtube

he goes on tangents about how he just watched these videos on youtube about educational topics or how he wants to try a new recipe he just saw and he just smiles stupidly while you nod and smile because you love how interested he is

he insists on hugging you every time you come home or he does, he needs to feel your warmth or something is what he always says

and of course ravi supports both of you wholeheartedly and loves to ask when taemins asking you to marry him or when the wedding is because hes just that kind of teasy person

the truth is taemins too shy to ask even though he knows he wants to marry you

i mean he already buys you enough flowers and is playful enough to make it seem like youre married

but who knows when he will propose, its just a matter of time until he gets up the confidence

#taemin fanfic #taemin smut #taemin x reader #taemin imagine #taemin scenarios #shinee fanfic #shinee x reader #shinee smut

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theemmtropy · 7 months

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The Baldur's Gate 3 (act 1) companions: Reacting to you decorating your tent with flowers

Astarion: "The blooms pale in comparison to your beauty... but I will admit the smell is quite pleasant. Now if only nature was always this tame. 🙄"

Shadowheart: "I think that the beauty of flowers lies in the fact that they are temporary pleasures. Everything lovely must pass on. Oh! I just noticed: they match your eyes."

Gale: "Ah, nothing like the act of creating art to sooth the senses. And I daresay the flowers you've chosen are quite the right bunch. They remind me of some verses I once read, though admittedly they were less a poem and more a recipe for a particularly nasty potion. If you ask me, I'd say that poetry and recipes share more in common than we'd give them credit for..." *trails off on a tangent*

Lae'zel: "The practicing of art is mandatory in my culture. We believe that the study of line and form will aid us in our understanding of weapon-making. Chk, but you are decorating in a most asymmetrical way. It will not promote a balanced mind." *takes the flowers from you and does it herself*

Wyll: "When I was growing up, we would have flowers in every room. They were lovely, but the arrangements were always so... orderly. Restricted. Not much room for creative expression, unfortunately. I can tell that you have an eye for creativity, though. Would you like some assistance?"

Karlach: "You know, I don't think I could ever get tired of flowers. What's this one called? [After you answer] What about this one?" [After you put a flower in her hair] Aw, if I weren't already red, I'd be properly blushing right now. 😊🌸"

Halsin: "Always nice to have pieces of nature with you, wherever you rest. Granted, I'd be more inclined to simply take a nice long nap amid the flower beds, but I know everyone has different ideas of comfort."

Minthara: "Hmm, I think the act of decorating is rather impractical, considering we'll be moving camp eventually. But I will say, the aroma is a pleasant one; I find it both soothing and invigorating. And once they're spent, we can use them to make a very useful toxin."

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 gale #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 karlach #bg3 wyll #bg3 halsin #bg3 minthara #my stuff

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verdemoun · 22 days

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jumping ahead in the timeswap au because i am the captain personally i headcanon jack not making it to 20. i think life had well and truly defeated him and he was too tired to keep running, and he ended up hanged for ross's murder.

side tangent a) imagine the emotional devastation the VDLs in modern era would feel reading that. there's a grainy photo/sketch and they can almost tell what jack looks like, how much he looks like john, how old he already looks at 19, and then there's the noose sitting on his shoulders waiting for the trapdoor to be pulled. the article portrays ross as a poor elderly man of honor killed by jack marston, outlaw, a dangerous sociopath

side tangent b) john and jack being reunited. john really struggling not to be angry because he wanted/expected so much better for jack: knowing he was never an ideal father (or even a good father) but how much he didn't want his son to be like him, how clear he had been to never become an outlaw. then, the grief. it's only been 3 years but being able to see how much those three years have changed jack, physically and mentally, just by the way he carries himself and that dead, destroyed look in his eyes. jack struggling not to be angry for a lot of the same reasons because at 16 he was left taking care of abigail as heartbreak and illness killed her, and a ranch they could barely take care of together. jack realising his mom, dad and little sister got to play happy family in current day without him.

well now that that's out of the way: dues-ex-isaac morgan

isaac morgan deciding jack marston is his personal responsibility. sure, the whole recipe of staying in a house for a few weeks slowly learning about the current day slowly works for most VDLs, but isaac understands that not only is jack 19 (a teenager) but the culture shock isn't quite as severe going from 1914 as it was 1899.

isaac throws rocks at the window until jack sneaks out his first night in modern day. he forces a helmet onto his head and gives a vague warning that 'it's going to be faster than a horse', before setting off at very illegal speeds on his motorbike

jack immediately loves it. it's very much what he needed: the adrenaline, feeling like he's rebelling, seeing the chrome and crowds of city as a blur become more and more recognizable in outdated suburbs until they're pushing 100mph on the highway

isaac strategically takes him out to the desert, because the desert really hasn't changed that much, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. they lay down and trauma-bond about how fucked their lives have been (isaac, who experienced the timewarp like a child moving house and had to teach things to his 19th century mother, jack, who grew up in the chaos of the VDL gang with his mother as the only constant: deadbeat dads taken to the metaphorical extreme).

'there's only two things you really need to know: you can't buy alcohol until you're 21 and cigarettes are actually really bad for you' 'cigarettes are BAD??????'

isaac introduces him to cliche teenage emo music through a dodgy bluetooth speaker. jack marston actually listens to music for the first time

arthur getting a frantic phone call from john saying jack snuck out

charles offering to help track them down, because they immediately know isaac is involved

charles and arthur finding a drunk isaac and jack air guitaring to mcr in the middle of the desert

isaac and jack are instant best friends. instead of the coddling most of the gang do when something is new and initially intimidating, isaac laughs at him and it's honestly more comforting. like yeah, traffic lights take a hot second, but jack does feel dumb for not realising that the changing lights and loud beeping meant it was time to walk/run.

isaac literally doesn't hold his hand unless he has to, meanwhile jack has had months of living alone as an outlaw in 1914. they balance each other out in the worst ways. isaac will say they shouldn't walk through a dark alley and jack is like pfft if someone tries to mug us i can take them

their hangouts go from jack bookworm marston helping isaac study at college to isaac being the one calling his dad because 'heeey we might be in jail' in 3 hours. all parental figures involved are going grey with stress

#rdr2 timewarp au #isaac morgan #jack marston #john marston #arthur morgan

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bapydemonprincess · 20 days

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Seb patching up Bard’s hand after the chef was careless and burned it while cooking?

Welp, I hope you enjoy this, friend, because besides the fun of trying to continue this already established ship in this verse along with this scenario you presented me with.. I got an extra idea to add to the recipe, as it were. 😈

The butler heard a familiar yell coming from the kitchen, and yet it was much more pained than usual.

The demon felt it was necessary in this moment to.. cheat a little, bringing his form instantly to the kitchen, from upstairs where he'd been dusting bookshelves, to arrive before any kind of disaster could strike.

...Not as if he'd been keeping his hearing specifically tuned into that section of the manor recently while he was too far away..

Not as if he could sense the danger before he heard it as his own mind filled with pain, panic, and surprise and embarrassment.

Sebastian still made sure he was outside the kitchen door so he could swing it open in his honest haste and panic and rush in to see what was going on.

"Bardroy, what happened-"

"Ohhh, fuck off."

Sebastian froze at that sharp response, eyes wide, the words themselves slapping him more than being interrupted.

The embarrassment was raising. It was through the roof. The demon felt himself like he wanted to run and hide as if it were his own.

"M'hand fucking slipped okay, I'm workin' on cleanin' it, I got it, you can very well piss off and-"

"No, let me see your hand,"

The butler marched in further, quickly assessing what had happened and what the chef had just told him in those few seconds.

He was picking up a big stew pot off the floor and a wooden stirring spoon, there was hot stew of some kind- likely meat and potatoes -all over the floor.

His sharp gaze even found a now soggy cigarette among the stew, and before the chef stood up, he'd seen the man's red skin on his already calloused palm.

Perhaps the fool had likely been trying to idly smoke while cooking this stew, and the cigarette fell at one point from his mouth into the flames of the stove.

"Let me see it," he demanded again, charging closer still to grab the other man's hand just after he'd put the pot back down properly.

"Oi, what the hell-"

Sebastian was holding his hand firmly in both of his, a thumb idly running over the burns, and noting when the chef hissed in response.

And then..

Sebastian sighed, and quietly murmured, more to himself.

"Thank goodness, only a minor burn."

And then he was turning and tugging the same hand with him to follow.

"You'll only need a quick bandaging.. And perhaps.. to stay away from hot surfaces for a while.. if you can manage."

"Awright, THASSIT."

Bard angrily tore his hand away and took a step back, though the pain in his hand was his prize for such a reaction, he seemed beyond caring about that.

"What the 'ell 'as been with you, man! You've been in here almost twice as much as usual, not even t'cook or clean or tell me t'do somethin', but t'just bloody check up on me as if it's me first day all over again! Now you suddenly think a small burn is gonna kill me??"

And then for some reason the butler was staying turned away, having whirled away in seconds after Bard's tangent, a scowl and perhaps.. blush ..appearing on his face.

"The reason I've become more diligent should be clear as day, Bardroy. I've.. had to since you've clearly recently seen fit to spacing off more than usual lately! This cannot continue, even if it means I have to treat you like this, as if I have to keep watch on you like a mother does her child to make sure they don't hurt themselves."

"Yeah, or nag me more than usual like a bloody wife does a husband??"

Sebastian was grabbing his hand again, uncaring it was the burnt one he was yanking and pulling on.

"Come, I'll treat the burn at once,"

Bard grimaced, but decided to stop struggling in arguing, in favor of growing more curious than angry- baffled even -over the butler's new found need to set him straight in this manner.

Soon they were at the closet with the necessary ointment and bandages and the butler finally released his hand in favor of snatching them up.

the chef meanwhile still eyed him.

Despite this change, the other man was still very brisk and straight forward, as if he too wanted to just get this over with.

"I don't think I even need t'get this patched up, y'know. I've had worse.. and you very well know that."

"A burn is still a burn, non the less, Bard," the man ahead of him simply countered.

And now they were back to the kitchen.

The butler didn't even need to get the chef to sit, he was already doing so, and even freely putting his burned hand out on top of the table.

The butler was right away getting water on a damp towel now, then sitting beside him, and getting to work dabbing at the burns.

Bard had finally chosen to just let this happen.

He supposed if.. it made Sebastian feel better or.. whatever... he'd let him do this.

And in fact, just realizing such a thing himself had him eyeing the butler..

Who truly was focused on smearing that ointment all over his burns, ruining his glove in the process, and then taking the bandages to wrap his hand up.

...

In truth the demon was trying his damnedest not to think of this blasted human watching him, starting to see the truth under his façade of formality. Sensing through this blasted .. THING.. his confusion turning to curiosity and then to amusement!

"Oi," Bard had hunched in close.

"Y'mind give'n it a kiss as well, t'help the pain?"

His voice a high lilt of blatant mockery.

The butler had just finished his final wrapping, and while those dark glinting eyes had shifted from his work to the chef's face, he'd suddenly let his lips part...

Mouth opening wide enough to show off sharp front canines.

That snapped off the rest of the remaining gauze in one bite.

The chef jolted at just that... but only a tiny bit...

He knew damn well this particular butler had fangs.. He'd seen them enough times when the man was yelling at him, after all.

But he had no idea how he had them. At least not yet...

"I wouldn't want to exacerbate your wound after all of this, now, would I?"

Bard's eyes narrowed and.. he took too long to answer.

Sebastian was still watching him as he lifted the bandaged hand and..

...Proceeded to lower his fangs very very lightly over his palm.

He didn't press in. Just lightly gnawed a little.

"It means to make something worse, Bard,"

Sebastian said this while still having Bard's hand slightly in his mouth.

...

Curiously there was nothing, no feel for the man's emotional response during this moment. As if in this second the new bond was broken all on account of Bard's mind currently too broken to express anything.

And then his entire face lit up like a flame as he nearly jumped up from his seat.

"I KNEW THAT!! OI, GET YOUR WEIRD BEASTIE TEETH OUTTA ME HAND!!"

Sebastian obeyed, but not without letting out an open chuckle, fangs still on display as he pulled back and straightened up.

"Very well, we're all done here, I think. Now maybe you will refrain from trying to cook things without my supervision, hm? Especially if you don't want these kinds of situations to transpire."

He had gotten up and casually pulled off his sullied left glove, turning to throw it out so he could replace it.

"Yeah, well, like I said, it was unnecessary t'begi-"

Bard froze, eyes locked on the butler's bare left hand.

And the mark he'd seen, clear as day, on the back of his left hand.

Confusion. Fear. Confusion. Fear. Curiosity. But more confusion. More fear.

Sebastian whirled about, eyes wide with alarm suddenly, questioning and concern on his features openly.

"Bard, what's wrong??"

"Y-You- You... Er... I..."

He stood up abruptly. So violently, in fact, the chair toppled.

His eyes stared at Sebastian differently this time.

And he was suddenly drenched in sweat.

"..Bard??" Sebastian asked again, naturally taking another step closer to the other again, and lifting his hand to reach out.

The man flinched.

And then started running.

And he'd left the kitchen.

Not answering the butler's call.

Not explaining himself at all.

And even when the butler could no longer hear the trampling of his boots as he ran away down the hall.

...The demon could still feel his pure terror and confusion.

....Through this blasted new mating bond they'd some how happened to form during this peculiar time of new experiences.

"...Hm."

Sebastian had by now noticed his left hand he'd been reaching out towards Bard- the one he'd taken his glove off of that had gotten sullied with the ointment used for caring for this man -openly displaying his mark of his contract.

Of his demonic seal.

"What.. perfect timing."

The demon muttered bitterly, glaring at that familiar symbol that would not be going away any time soon.

...

Just like this bond wasn't, either.

#kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #bardroy #bard #sebard #my writing #eeeeee I think adding this to it helped heighten my own joy in this ship >w<#UH OH GUESS WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER NOW~ 🤷

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