#milkyway eyes

[milkyway-eyes-art]

have some cult of the lamb shenanigans with Pandora ( @the-celestial-jester ) and Lamin our little lambs - this is also some art style experimentation

- Pandora always cheats in every game and Lamin knows it but can't prove it even though it's obvious -Lamin uses Gauntlets to fight and they are quite brutal

-their cult is full of cannibals and they celebrate carnage but they stay away from lust themselves

-their followers are allowed to participate in sinful rituals but Lamin just distances themselves because they find it humiliating and disgusting

#fyp #art #my art #digital art #cotl #cotl lamb #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl shamura #lambert #milkyway eyes #character design #original character

[the-hikers-eye-photography]

Post Processing Software Really is Something Else These Days

So this is a single frame from a shoot out under the stars in the California desert a couple months back.

It is shot at ISO 3200, 20 seconds at f/2.8.

It was a throw away frame from a set I was shooting to stack in Sequator. It's a throw away because a car way off in the distance behind me turned it's headlights on and sat there for a while. This flooded my foreground with a level of sidelight and contrast that I just didn't want for my image. Because of this I decided to omit it from my stack, and instead process it as a lone image to see how good Adobe's new de-noise option is (inside Lightroom and CameraRAW).

The short version is that it's pretty darn good.

It was 100 ° at 11 o'clock at night, and this shot is 50-something in on a series of 20 second exposures at ISO 3200. This means my sensor was likely VERY warm, and as such would have flooded the image with noise and hot pixels.

Adobe's de-noise software really does seem to work like a charm and took care of a ton of the noise without destroying the details in the foreground and (more importantly for me) the sky.

'Nuff said.

Let's go exploring.

#opt outside #nature #outdoors #the hikers eye #no people #landscape #go outside and play #landscape photography #nature photography #original photography #original photographer #astro #astrophotography #long exposure #starry sky #starry night #milkyway #milkyway photography

[cosmiccerealbowl]

The Moon Sees You, by cosmiccerealbowl

Generated using NightCafe Studio.

#aiartcommunity #ai generated #ai art #ai image #moon #eye #space #woods #milkyway #surreal #red #night #nighttime #dark #horror #stars #camping #cafe

[sirnavergi]

good batch of a random assortment of doodles from today which r mostly not connected

#original character #oc #oc artwork #my art #oc art #ocs #v teatime #i need to draw more azimuth and edgar interactions after i figure out exactly what their dynamic is …. #drawing edgar in a simpler style is always weird to me he . just looks goofy #ahh the characters names in order r #zenith with the pointy hat n weird hair #milkyway has the more circular hat n the big hair #the silly tall guy is az #edgars the guy im drawing with the stupid homestuck looking ahh eyes #slash glasses #the last 2 r completely unrelated to the others but theyre #axl and aoide at school #last one is also aoide

[revasserium]

lads #1 - the first kiss

xavier.

it is a soft brushing of lips on lips, eyes closed — a moonless night, dark enough to cast your dreams like a handful of dice against the velvet sky — he prays as you shift against him, and like this, he can count the individual stars caught in your symphony of lashes; he wants to sink into your milkyway laughter as you fist your fingers in the front of his shirt and tug him closer, and then it is no longer a dream but a reality too good to be true because there, those are your lips — your lips against his and his against yours and there is too much breath and not enough skin; there is heat, and heat, and heat as it crests up his back and into his chest, his fingertips tingling as he reaches up to cup the bend of your jaw; it is you sighing into him, the taste of your smile on his tongue when he presses in and feels you gasp — when he pulls back, you are blushing, the darkness in your cheeks probably mirrored in his own, and he can’t help the way his gazes flickers from your eyes down to your lips, now pink and sweet and so — “did you… did you mean to do that?” you ask, a little breathless, and for the life of him, xavier wants to take you and shake you by your shoulders because how could you think he hadn’t meant it? when every single atom in his entire body is vibrating with the need to pull you in one more time; instead, he lilts his head to the side and sighs, “well, if you couldn’t tell that time — shall we give it another try?”

zayne.

you are in his bed. you are in his bed and the world is pressing in around him as he counts your breaths, watching the flicker of your eyes beneath your squeezed-tight eyelids but he humors you enough to reach out and trace a finger along your cheek just to watch your lashes flutter, your lips twitch and he can’t help the way his own lips stretch into a knowing grin, “you shouldn’t lie to your doctor, you know.” to which you make a vague, mumbling sound, but you don’t shift away and zayne feels the pulse gathering between you like it’s done so many times before, each time the feeling echoing against the last, stronger and stronger until it becomes something like a compulsion — “what would it take for you to go to sleep properly?” he asks, his voice hoarse as you press your lips, sinking deeper into his sheets, finally peering up at him with those inescapable eyes. “maybe… a kiss goodnight?” he feels his breath catch in his throat at your words, not because he thought he’d never hear them, but because he never thought it would happen like this — how times had he imagined it throughout the years? how many mundane and dramatic moments playing out in the depths of his most secret imagination? but then again, he thinks that this is perfect too, because it’s you — so how could it not be. he bends down, tugging your chin towards him as he presses his lips firmly to yours, reveling in the small, surprised noise you make in the back of your throat; he tries not to think about the thin sheets separating your body and his, or the way your fingers are already tangling in his hair and pulling him close; he forces himself to pull away, swallowing hard. “there.” you blink dolefully up at him and pout, “y-you can’t expect me to go to sleep after a kiss like that!” he cocks an eyebrow, “can’t i? i kept my end of the deal, and now you have to keep yours.” but he allows himself a small smile as you huff and twist away from him, mumbling to yourself even as he shifts closer, pulling you into his chest as he closes his eyes and sleeps.

rafayel.

all he can think is that it’s different from the first time, because the first time, it hadn’t been a real kiss — even though it’d been real enough for him to lose his heart, real enough for it to have been lost for years and years and years — because the first time, it had been so, so innocent — and it’d been done over linked pinkies and a promise, him leaning down to kiss the base of his thumb and you, leaning down to mirror the movement — a promise, sealed with a kiss. because promises sealed with kisses can never be broken. but… you’d broken it, hadn’t you? or maybe he had — but something had broken, and it took him a long, long time to realize that it just might’ve been his heart. but this time, you’re both older, and you hadn’t waited, you’d stood up on your tip toes and pressed your lips right against his, and it was all he could do to close his eyes and kiss you back — distantly, he feels something breaking inside him, and he wonders — again — if it’s his heart, and he wonders, then, if a heart could be broken twice, and if the second time might be a mending instead. he leans down and crushes you to him, all propriety forgotten as he groans, desperate for more of that friction, more of that heat — he sinks his fingers into your waterfall hair and cradles your head against his, and he loses himself in the kiss. in a promise made, and unmade, and made again. when you finally pull away, he licks his lips and smirks, “took you long enough.” and he’s more pleased than he’ll ever admit to see the color flushing into your cheeks, and serves you right he thinks — but as you lace your fingers between his and tug him behind you towards the main street, asking if he wants to come over for dinner and the next episode of that one show you guys had started together, he thinks that even a heart broken twice could find its way to forgiveness — if only after another kiss or two.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #loe and deepspace x you #love and deepspace fanfic #love and deepspace fluff #lad xavier #lad zayne #lad rafayel #x reader #xavier x you #zayne x you #rafayel x you #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #lad xavier fluff #lad zayne fluff #lad rafayle fluff #floofy floof floof #daydreams #going back to my ROOTS of doing daydreams LOL i rmbr when these started in the 1d fandom oh my god #and to think id still be writing them like years and years later HAHAHA #ALSO LIKE. xavier is a lil shit sometimes and i appreciate that #i love that for him #anyway. the brainrot continues

[keroppimelon0]

๑ -- ‘ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ’

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛɪᴇꜱᴛ ʙᴏʏ ɪ’ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴇɴ <3

๑ – synopsis : you can’t help it. seeing dan heng sitting next to you so peacefully reminds you of why you’ve fallen so hard for the guard of the astral express.

๑ – notes : first time posting on tumblr + writing for dan heng!! i’m a massive simp for him so this is just a teensy bit indulgent but i can’t help it, he’s just so gorjuss i am WHIPPED for this man

๑ – relationship : dan heng x reader

๑ – w/c : 1526

DAN HENG was not a confrontational man.

that’s why, when you just so happened to stumble across the faint light peeking out from under the archive room door, he didn’t mind when you let yourself inside. nor did he mind when you sat yourself down beside him after plucking a random book off the ground - a fairytale, one you weren’t really interested in.

instead, your eyes scan the frame of the man sitting beside you, his soft breathing mixed with yours the only noise in the room, minus the gentle rumble of machinery as the astral express moved through the galaxy. you’re so lost in thought, your voice bubbles past your lips before you have the chance to even think about what you’re going to, and have just said.

"you're gorgeous."

the words tumble past your lips before you can properly comprehend them. he didn't even seem to notice, if not for the gentle dust of pink across his cheeks and tips of his ears. dan heng was quietly reading beside you before you decided to suddenly compliment him.

"hm?" was his nonchalant response, misty blue-green eyes flickering to your face for a second. the moment your eyes meet, there's a quick jolt of electricity that sparks between you both, dispelled as quickly as it came as his eyes return to the words across the script he quietly read.

"i'm what?" His clear crisp voice rings out in your head. you half acknowledged his sound of curiosity beforehand, still reeling from the embarrassment of admitting that dan heng was gorgeous in your eyes.

you couldn't help it - who could, really. just looking at dan heng, the way his onyx hair fell across his forehead as his head tilted down towards his book, the silken strands framing his gentle jawline. within the bathe of the milkyway shining down upon his skin from the window of the archives room, dan heng looks like he was taken out of the fairytale book that's nestled comfortably in your lap. a prince charming of his own design.

"..will you not elaborate? hm, very well." and just like that, he's dropped the topic. you don't know whether to sigh in relief or be a little disappointed that he didn't push it further, but you know that dan heng wasn't usually one for confrontation. at least, that's what he made it seem to you.

for now, though, all it seems you can do is continue to read the story you had lost interest in a long time ago. it was easy to lose interest in anything when the most gorgeous man you've ever laid eyes upon is sitting right beside you, reading as if he's unaware of this fact. probably because he is.

you wonder if dan heng is actually aware of all the times he's caught your eye, if he's aware of how he makes your heart seize so violently in your chest when he casts a soft glance in your direction. half the time, you're praying you don't die of a heart attack because that's just what he does to your heart - he has his hand wrapped around it and he doesn't even realize.

the soft sigh that leaves your lips afterwards makes you realize, finally come to terms with it. 'dan heng will never be yours,' because how can a man of such intelligence and grace ever like you?

just before your self-deprecating thoughts can swallow you whole, the gentlest brush of fingers against your own cheek makes you jump. you snap out of your reverie with little fanfare, lips slightly parted as you make eye contact with dan heng. this time, neither of you look away.

"you seem troubled tonight," his warm breath gently fans your face, and you're now acutely aware of how close he is to you. "is everything alright?"

you pause before you give your answer, wondering what you can say to him. you're distracted, because with his face so up close, you can see every inch of his stoic yet gentle expression. "y-yeah." you curse yourself for stuttering - can you really not control yourself around him?

but dan heng finds it amusing, as the corner of his lip quirks upwards before it settles back into a line. "very well," he pauses, his eyes scanning your face a little more intently, "if there is anything bothering you.."

"no, no! really, i'm fine." you manage to force out, giving him a half-hearted smile to go along with it. "i'm just.. thinking." that should do it, you think to yourself. he wouldn't pry, because dan heng is not a confrontational man. at least, that's what you would think...

"thinking.. and that requires you to stare holes into my face whenever i'm not looking?"

"ghK-" the noise that you make sounds like you've just choked on a bone, eyes widening to the size of planets as your face flushes crimson in seconds. "of course not! what makes you think.. w-what makes you.."

the words you were crafting meticulously in your head dies on your tongue as dan heng inches closer. he's no longer holding his book. rather, his arm has made its way over your lap, effectively trapping you in place.

"what makes me think..?" your jaw clicks shut as you dry gulp hard, bottom lip trembling as his face inches closer once again, close enough to smell his scent, the faintest hint of maple and newly opened books. a strange combination, but one that makes your heart practically leap out of your chest.

"i think.. that you have something to confess to me." your breath hitches in your throat as his nose touches yours. his lips, they're right there. inches away from yours. you let out a soft exhale, squeezing your eyes shut as you carefully lean in.

just as the gap barely shortens between you both, the sound of the archive room door slamming open makes you both jolt. in the midst of your panic, dan heng's head moves backwards, but yours moves forwards with the momentum, and your lips collide with his nose instead.

a familiar pink haired girl stands at the doorway, her blue eyes sparkling as she excitedly calls out for the male that had you held in his arms at that exact moment. "dan heng, have you seen-"

march's grin drops a little at the sight of the both of you. dan heng is clutching his nose, propped up against one arm as you frantically apologize over and over, hands flailing as you basically landed on top of him in the struggle.

"uhh.. you guys just.. finish up in here, okay?" march smiles, her hand flying to her mouth to suppress her giggles as she slowly slides the door shut.

"i'm so sorry- oh my god!" you feel tears pricking your eyes out of embarrassment as dan heng hisses, slowly moving his hand away from his nose, where a small, almost minuscule bruise has begun to form.

"it's fine.. leave it to march to never knock before entering.." dan heng grumbles, his cheeks tinted a soft pink as you bury your head into your hands. "i'm so sorry.." you apologize again, feeling the heat radiating off of you as a gentle gloved hand touches your shoulder.

"really, it's okay.." you peek through the cracks of your fingers, and you see his eyebrows are scrunched in concern. the guilt weighs on you along with the embarrassment, and you sigh miserably at the failed chance to kiss the man of your dreams.

rather, you feel a warmth brush your cheek, like a maple leaf falling against your skin. you barely have time to react before dan heng has leaned in, pressing the warmest of kisses against your soft skin. "there. now we're even."

your mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping for breath, and you can see his almost teasing smile before a dumb grin spreads across your own face. his position shifting slightly, enough to give you space to properly sit on his lap, was all the invitation you needed.

your lips collided with each other again and again until you both could hear nothing but the mechanical whirring of the archive room fading into nothingness around you.

⋆ 𓏲 𓂅 ๑ 𓍼 𓏲 ⋆

bonus:

the next morning, march peeked into the archives room to check on you both. your room was empty, so she definitely knew you never returned for the night. but seeing you and dan heng peacefully curled up together on his (honestly, uncomfortable looking) makeshift bed, she couldn't help but grin widely as she fumbled with her camera to snap a quick picture for later on.

"march, why are you spying on dan heng?" himeko raised a brow behind the girl who quickly made a shushing motion, sliding the door open a little wider so she could peek at the spectacle of the two of you happily cuddled up with each other. "ah, i see." himeko smiled mirthfully, shaking her head as she waved her hand. "just don't embarrass them too much, march."

march 7th snickered as she snapped another picture, knowing once you both woke up, the teasing you would get from her would be unimaginable.

hope you enjoyed!! i'm actually so scared to post this haha,, but i love dan heng he's my fav he's so babygirl

#dan heng x reader #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #danheng x reader #๑ -- kerokero's works #honkai dan heng #hsr dan heng

[6point5crows]

Okay since Twitter broke I’m here now …..

Anyways so like modern!au Jesper growing up on the farm with little light pollution, with Wylan growing up in the city with too much light pollution..

Jesper sees the stars and can tell the time and direction with them, and Wylan doesn’t even know you can see the Milkyway (or whatever their equivalent would be) with your bare eye.

So Jesper takes Wylan out of the city one night upon learning this, driving him all the way out until there’s no lights anywhere (maybe they even take a boat out to sea with Inej’s help) to show him the universe.

#wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #six of crows #grishaverse #fuck twitter #stars #modern

[kit-williams]

Sentience Husbandry Black Templars Thoughts plus more about Brother Arnault

ya'll want unhinged ramblings about Black Templars in Sentience?

And plus Black Templars are such an INTENSE chapter I feel the need to go over how they handle bonds as well as talk about Arnault and Roland.

@sleepyfan-blog and I had a small chat about Black Templars and I decided to share some of it.

@egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

If these sort of deep dives into chapter specific behaviors helps feel free to ask me for another

So I will first of all say it will probably take the Astartes awhile to figure out where they are when they first get here. Given how stars will (from my understanding) will shift in 30 and 40 thousand years respectively.

Sure they will look up into the night sky and see the utterly beautiful sight of the milkyway's arms... they all have probably seen it. But then they get a hold of some maps of the milkyway and when they ask where they are in relation of course the human will be helpful and point to where we are... right. at. holy TERRA.

When more powerful telescopes are made and the Astartes... borrow the facilities they do in fact check the eye of terror (because a lot of them are "oh god who is going to stop the demons from coming out) and they are very surprised it's not there (and wont be for awhile because the Eldar haven't fucked up yet)((HEHEHEHEHE Puns)) so that is how they are able to provide evidence to new arrivals that "yes this is ancient terra"

Every. Single. Astartes. Is. N O R M A L about this. (No no they are not. Know who is SUPER normal about this? Every single Imperial Fist and successor) So when they find out they are on Ancient Terra this is when a large number of resistant loyalist space marines actually accept their bonds and when a LARGE number of Imperial Fists integrate (a small play on the Last Wall Protocol)

However Black Templars do not wish to bond. Black Templars are not human killers but they literally seem to only have two bond types... weak or intense and while some might try to sever a weak bond with killing their human Black Templars are sons of Dorn and have a sacred duty to protect Terra and her people. However, Black Templars see bonds as very warp related (deny the witch and all) and do their best to break bonds.

For brothers with weak bonds this is easy as the "warband" (basically nomadic groups of Astartes are just called a warband though the Black Templars are trying to get their called a crusade) will travel a couple hundred miles away/get the battle brother away. At some point the bond snaps and he feels the minor backlash which is just sweating and some anxiety for a bit but usually its all very calm.

However intense bonds do not break as Arnault and his brothers discovered. But first a bit about Arnault.

Arnault is the Black Templar author from this. Arnault is from M40 and by the time he died he became an Emperor's Champion (as that resulted in the end of his life). Arnault has ice blue eyes and striking white hair. Arnault is a renown duelist amongst his brothers and later brothers know of techniques that he had utilized. He has his sword always by his side even in civilian clothing it is wrapped around his waist with a chain that he can easily wrap it around his arm. Arnault like many other Black Templars rejected the concept of a bond, he had a few weak bonds before his current bond and of course broke them...

Bonds are precious things don't you know...

Arnault got struck by an intense bond and simply walking away wasn't helping... in fact it was killing him. The further away he got the more he deteroriated violent fits of vomiting... tremors... sweating... basically he was being punished for rejecting his bonds. But because his later brothers knew he was destined to become an Emperor's champion they couldn't let him die; which is what the fear was if they didn't bring him back... to what he would call his angel. (Funny enough her name is Angela)

Arnault was not an author before he met his bonded. In fact the only reason he started writing and eventually (under a pseudoname) published his first series called "of the flesh" (there are 4 books Sins, Desires, Healing, and Redemption) ((This is the series written about a human and a CSM)) he started writing to try and process his feelings for Angela. As because he tried to break his bond with her... when he was reunited the bond violently "snapped" or solidified into a very intense bond (also into a carnal bond). Before his first series he wrote a novella and some reason got it published and it was VERY popular.

He felt initially disgusted with himself for writing and sharing his writings. The publishers that he works with are Astartes and one is a Dark Angel so they keep his secret very tightly of who their prized author is. But Arnault eventually would start his "- of the Flesh" series writing it twice basically as one would be for mortal readers (this is the "edited" version) and the other would be for Astartes.

SIDE NOTE on smut written for Astartes. Besides it being written in gothic it is written very differently. There are a lot of scenes that when translated sound completely unappealing... example like describing the mortal in what we would think would be unflattering terms like how their scent is... near medical text descriptors of their skeletal structure... using chemical formulas to describe scents and tastes... it reads very clinical at times. Which I see as being far more... stimulating for them because Space Marines interact with the world very differently... because saying that their mortal's lips had a sweetness akin to C12H22O11 does something to them than simply saying Sugar.

Back to Arnault... eventually when he actually got comfortable enough to admit his feelings for his bonded is when the guilt went away and he started another romance "series" (loosely related novellas) involving a Black Templar and a mortal. Somehow someone found out that the prolific lurid author was a black templar and told the higher ranking Black Templars that it was Arnault.

Arnault and Roland were already social outcasts because they had embraced their bonds. Roland's other sin was that he also had sex with his bonded. Arnault's additional "sin" is that he writes tawdry Slaanshi novellas (which would be a death sentence for any Brother normally) HOWEVER because Arnault hasn't become the Emperor's champion yet and for later Black Templars he still does become the champion they argue that Arnault clearly makes up for his sins if the Emperor still chooses him to be his champion.

So Arnault might have accidentally caused some conflict amongst the several different warbands. (His and Roland's standing is vastly different depending on which warband you ask) And that for the sake of other lower ranked brothers who look up to Arnault's eventual sacrifice for the Emperor to not tarnish that image they have of him they keep it under wraps and simply say because he embraced his bond in an impure way he is a social outcast.

Which is how amongst the majority of the Black Templars Roland and Arnault are simply known for their sins of not being able to break free of the warp bond and also human fucking (serious crimes). Arnault is pissed that someone tried to get him executed and declared a traitor but what he does is a secret between him and the heads of the black templar warbands at this point. (That lovely Dark Angel at the publishing house helped in finding the traitor marine that tried to get Arnault killed and everyone had a great time.) ((except for the traitor))

So what are Black Templars in Intense bonds like? Like most other space marines in intense bonds. Again it doesn't have to be a carnal bond (aka the sex bond) but for black templars they basically love their human in a same way as they love the Emperor of Mankind. (Some say that a Black Templar bond is akin to an intense Word Bearer bond) There is no in between for them it's either a weak bond (which they go about breaking) or an intense bond.

They are doting towards their human but the real change comes from how they are willing to interact with Traitors and Renegade marines if their human is willing to (Oh they are more than happy if their human doesn't like the filthy traitors also!).

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry sentience #tales from the barn #lore drop #oc: Roland #oc: Arnault #if ya'll wanna use them just let me know #kit's astartes advice #kaa

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

18 | chapter four

summary: you met a strange girl and her gang, although you honestly couldn't focus on anything with billy on your mind. Oh, and billy wants to rip jason's head off.

warnings: a softy chapter

listen to: Breakfast - Dove Cameron | Uptown girl - Billy Joel |  These boots are made for walking - Nancy Sinatra (playlist here)

word count: 2.2k

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!

“You seem like you’re having a bad day,” the blonde girl with wavy hair that had sat down next to you in the last couple of classes muttered as you pulled your bag into your shoulder. 

You hadn’t really talked to anyone since meeting (for the second time) the infamous Billy Hargrove. You weren’t sure what annoyed you so much about him, maybe it was his bright smile or his eyes, those damn blue electric eyes. 

Sure, you understood the appeal, he might be handsome and look hot and drive a really fucking nice Camaro but it wasn’t about that. It was about his actions, the ones that you knew by heart already, make a girl fall in love with him, deeply, take advantage of her and take her to bed, use her as many times as he wanted to, and then discard her. 

Discard you, you thought. 

“Really bad first day?” the blonde girl asked again and you finally turned to see her. She had an amazing set of freckles that seemed like a Milkyway under her eyes, through her cheeks and nose. She had pretty soft blue eyes and a goofy smile. 

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought,” you shrugged as you both walked out of the class. 

“Really? Because Hawkins honestly sucks,” she admitted and you laughed in return. God, how many people hated their own town, you thought. You’d never hated Chicago, not even after what happened with your parents or everything else. It was your home, it would always be your home. 

“So, everyone hates Hawkins here?” you asked her, but she squinted her eyes a bit as she examined you. 

Suddenly, realization setting on her face. 

“Oh, so you’ve never lived in a small town,” she replied as if it all made sense now and you nodded. “Where did you come from?”

You frowned at how she phrased the question. “Chicago, it’s the best place to live truly, I-” you replied and she snapped her head towards you before grabbing your wrist and pulling you through the green and yellow hallways of Hawkins as people turned to watch. 

“Look what I just found!” she screamed as she waved at a group of people that were huddling in their lockers. You suddenly felt the small urge to run away but you knew it was better to have a couple of friends than none in a new place, especially now that you didn’t know if Hargrove had ruined your chances of getting into the cheerleading team. “A city girl with an open mind!” she babbled as she placed you in front of them. 

“And you’re scaring her, Robin!” one of the guys muttered as he rolled his eyes. He was handsome, a fact, he had a nice smile and the hair, it wasn’t neat but it felt like it was styled to perfection. “I’m Steve,” he said as he shook your hand with both of his big hands. 

You nodded and then turned to the others who followed suit. 

“Nancy,” A small girl said with a small smile, she was holding the hand of the other guy that was next to Steve.

“Jonathan,” he muttered, clearly a lot more shy than Steve and the last one next to him. 

That guy was clearly not shy, he didn’t give you his hand or a smile. He instead moved his long hair to the side and made a rock sign with his hand as he took out his tongue like Gene Simmons from Kiss, “Eddie,” he mentioned casually. 

You nodded and they stared at you for a little longer than what you’d like, until you got that it was your turn and you cursed mentally. 

“I’m y/n y/l/n,” you replied fast before passing a hand through your hair. “Just moved here,” you explained as you twiddled with your fingers. 

“Yeah, we figured,” Jonathan muttered. 

“Sorry, that was stupid,” you replied before pinching the bridge of your nose in exasperation before giving a step back as if it was a reflex. 

You weren’t usually one to get nervous, there were few moments when people actually figured your emotional state. But it honestly hadn’t been your day, it hadn’t been your week or your month even; you’d come to wonder if your life would be like this forever but you refused to believe it. 

You had a plan in mind. 

“No it wasn’t!” Steve intervened, a little bit to excited as you raised your head with a frown, was he trying to be nice? you thought. “I think I saw you before. You live at Oakland, right?”

You blinked a bit, surprised that someone had actually been paying attention to you. Someone other than Billy Hargorve. “Yes, just moved in,”

“Oh so you are neighbors!” Robin exclaimed. 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve replied and you simply smiled. “I can give you a ride, if you want,” he muttered but you shook your head. 

“I already have one, it’s fine but thank you,” you replied politely with a smile before turning to Robin. “And thank you for introducing me to your friends even though you didn’t even ask me my name,” you said with a smile as you took her hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“I’m sorry I tend to miss social cues all the time,” she muttered as her cheeks blushed a bit. 

“It’s okay,” you replied sweetly. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” She said and you nodded with a smile before you made your way to the entrance of the school and into the school parking lot.

As the warmth air of the summer hit you, you smiled. It was the first time in all day that you felt like you were actually able to breathe. Not even in class you had been able to push your anxiety and Billy Hargrove to the side, you felt like you had been stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to even use class as a means to escape those blue electric eyes and what had happened at lunch. You had tried to follow the exercises, especially on algebra, but you found yourself unable to concentrate on the equations on the page. It wasn’t until Robin had talked to you that you finally had thought about anything else.

You almost wished that you had actually spoken to her before, you’d rather busy yourself with trying to make new friends than have to cope with the reality that you were stuck in a town and the fucking King of the high school had put a target on your back.

As if you didn’t have enough trouble already.  

You felt eyes on you in that second and you turned to where you felt them, snapping you from your thoughts. You were immediately met by Billy’s blue electric eyes. He was surrounded by a group of people, some hadn’t even noticed you but others had turned to where Billy was looking and some even frowned. You scoffed automatically and although usually, you would turn away from his gaze, not even giving him an ounce of your attention, you didn’t. You instead stopped walking and maintained eye contact, challenging him. The wicked smile that appeared on his face made goosebumps appear on your skin while you still stared at him as you puffed your chest a bit and raised your eyebrows. 

You couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind but he didn’t falter either, he kept looking back at you and he raised his eyebrows back at you while sticking his tongue out a bit. You tried your best to stay level-headed because you knew what he wanted, you knew he wanted a reaction out of you but you weren’t going to give in. 

Not at least on purpose and although you would’ve kept staring at him as long as he insisted on maintaining eye contact, a voice made you back down from the challenge. 

“New girl?” the voice said and you turned around to see a tall blonde guy with a bright smile and dull blue eyes staring at you, he was wearing a uniform you’d seen during the day on most of what you assumed was the basketball team except for Billy Hargrove. He was unashamedly looking at you and for a moment you were particularly startled by his presence.

He looked like every guy next door. Pale, blonde, strong, all-American white guy. You wanted to roll your eyes to the back of your skull but you digressed. You didn’t particularly like the type of people, you were a cheerleader and you knew the two-face nature of those jock types. 

“y/n, actually,” you replied uninterested as you kept walking to where you’d parked. He didn’t take the clue though, he insisted on following you while Billy glared from afar. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” he said and you turned to see him once more. “Chrissy told me about you,” he commented again as if you knew who he was. 

You didn’t even want to know but then again, if you were stuck you would take every little opportunity if it meant something going right. 

“Yeah, and you are?”

He blinked at you and then shook his head, he seemed genuinely distraught that you weren’t aware of his existence.

“Oh, Jason Craver,” he said as he extended his hand to you, you took it but made the handshake faster than what he apparently hoped for. “First mate of Hawkins basketball team,” he continued with his chest puff. 

“Cool,” you replied before spinning on your heels and turning towards your joy ride. 

And yet, he persisted. 

You sighed in frustration once you heard his voice again. How could you expect guys like this to take a clue? 

“Uhm, I know you move into Oakland street,” he continued and you stopped. 

“Does everyone here lives there too?” you asked. 

You remembered that you knew some stereotypes of small towns, everyone gossiped and everyone knew everything about everyone. There wasn’t privacy in small towns like that, not the privacy that you’d always used to have. In a big city, nobody even noticed you and you were hoping nobody noticed you either here. 

You were so wrong. 

“No, no but close,” he said and you nodded curtly. “I was wondering if you’d like a ride home?”

You shook your head quickly while thinking to yourself that you’d rather chew off your right arm than have him take you home. 

“I have a ride,” you replied as you shrugged your shoulders and tsked with your tongue. 

He stared at you with a frown. 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” 

“So, I see someone shot-gun you first,” he said as he passed a hand through his long and perfectly combed blonde hair. 

You didn’t understand the connotation and first. Even though you probably understood the thing he said, you hoped that it was a joke. You wondered if people still talked about owning women like that in small cities, but your hope died down as you stared at Jason’s blue dull eyes, you knew he was being serious. 

“Yeah, a pretty girl like you was obviously flagged down the first day,” he sighed with a shrug. 

“I wasn’t flagged down by anyone,” you snapped at him with a bitter and angry tone. 

“Not even Hargrove?” he asked before walking closer to you. 

The mention of the name made you want to run and hide, yet, you turned around towards where Billy was. He was still staring at you but the mischievous gaze was gone and replaced by a glare. You scoffed mentally, was he jealous? Your gazes linked for a moment, he watched you carefully but you tried to refocus. 

“No,” you lied, before walking to your final stop. 

“So, how are you getting,” Jason continued but stopped mid-track and you smirked to yourself as you took your helmet from your bike and quickly placed it on your head. “Oh,” he muttered. 

“Yeah,”

He stayed quiet for a few beats of silence as you got on the bike and turn it on. The roar of the engine caused goosebumps to appear over your skin and a satisfied smile to appear on your lips. You glanced at Jason who now had his hands on the pockets of his white jacket, he seemed a little bit awe-struck. 

“I’m impressed, there are no girls like…”

You stopped him. 

“Like me? Yeah heard that a bunch of times and it’s not that good of a line,” you grumbled as the bike started and you glanced at Jason with disdain. “Bye,” you muttered before you were driving off into the road.

Billy took a shaky breath as he watched you leave, he jerked his sunglasses out of his back pocket and flicked the cigarette to the floor. He straightened his blue shirt and pulled on his Aviators before walking to the driver seat of the Camaro, muttering a small bye to the group that was huddling around him. In all honesty, he wanted to run Jason over with the Camaro when he saw him talking to you, the charming smile he gave you made him want to rip his head off. He knew it was stupid, he shouldn’t be angry that he was talking to you Billy was never angry when other guys talked to the girls he was interested in.

But it was you. 

And there was something about you that he couldn’t seem to shake off.

***

author's note: once more I'm flabergasted by all the support I've received over this new series, LIKE REALLY THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TOREAD IT. I really can't believe it and although I know these chapters are a bit short like I CAN'T WAIT to let you see what will come next it's going to be a wild ride. THANK YOU SO MUCH and as always lmk what you think of the chapter!!!

***

Taglist: @happypopcornprincess @hannahnikohl @thescarlettvvitch @nymphadora000 @phishyie @amethystx3 @jaziscool @vixionix @gloryekaterina @alicetweven @frogtits1 @meg11 @pillowjj @fan1237 @bucky-daddy-barnes @starloriha @make-me-imagine @piper570 @dedicated2viktor @zanmorgan @queenofshinigamis @literally-a-ferret @slutformaddyperez @milkiane @mysterygirl-14 @oli-leo-ska @tsukibaby1 @samwilsonlove @theshinyrock @belledawnidk @the-mysterious-miss-s @rio-mx @nobody-000 @rlvslouis @linkpk88 @daygirl26 @steveharringtonswifey09 @alwaysbeenfamous @kazbrekkersangel @ilovewomen711 @allazay101 @dacresgff @nymphadora000 @that-levi-kenma-kinnie @riffcrusader @useless-snail @patheticreative @emmettcullenswife @milenadixon @whiskeypowder @ponyboys-sunsets @yunho-leeknow @kaillou66 @randomeddieblog @gifcottage @storeybook @nikt-wazny-y @kneelforloki @niviiera @pumpkin-kings @anitatvd @fanatics30

please let me know if there's a problem with the tags or if I forgot someone.

***

feedback is always welcomed!!

buy me a coffee or help me with my laptop? thank youu

#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove aesthetic #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanart #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove headcanons #billy hargrove au #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fan fiction #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove masterlist #billy hargrove x y/n #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery x reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #stranger things 4 #billy hargrove series

[iraprince]

Two things!

1. Thank you so much for "Eyes on the Prize"! I played it with my partner yesterday so we could fake date on our real date and we had such a great time! It even really makes me want to draw OCs again which has otherwise been a chore for me lately!

2. About the newsletter... have you considered just not making it a regular thing? And more of a "twice per month tops" or such? I for one don't really keep track of newsletters, and actually probably ignore the regular ones in my inbox way more often than those who only come in when the author remembers to send them haha. Like... I know that social media push for regularity to entice their algorithms, but there's no algorithm in the email. It's a lawless wasteland and there is absolutely an audience for "whenever".

3. Okay I lied, third bonus thing because Milkyway wanted to say hi:

(I don't have a poker deck so we used tarot cards. We just took out the knights, assigned the suits to French suits, and used the Major Arcana for the Marriage Trials)

this fucking rules hi milkyway.

i'm so thrilled that u had fun w eotp -- playing it w a tarot deck is so cool!! and i'm happy to hear it got the oc wheels turning bc that's far and away my fav thing abt ttrpgs.

and yeah.... intermittent newsletter would probably be rly good... it would take the pressure off me to Come Up with something on slow months/make Newsletter Time that i simply don't have on busy months, which solves a lot of the problems i always have in the back of my head abt it.... chewing!!! thank u!!!

[rainylantern]

milkyway cookie and a boy that likes milk

[id: A drawing of milkyway cookie and shigeo. Milkyway cookie is posed standing with one leg in the air, one hand out, and another hand bent. Her eyes are closed. Mob is drawn squating, also pointing one hand out and bending the other. The hands are posed as finger guns. Above them is a drawing of a milk carton and a pink star doodle. /end id]

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mob psycho fanart #mp100 fanart #mp100art #mob psycho manga #mob psycho #mob psycho one hundred #mob psycho anime #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cr kingdom #crk art #crk #crk fanart #cookie run kingdom fanart #milkyway cookie #Milky Way cookie #mob shigeo #mp100 shigeo #mob psycho shigeo #shigeo kageyama fanart #shigeo kageyama #mob kageyama #mobpsycho100 #mob pyscho

[the-hikers-eye-photography]

Alien Worlds

I had the opportunity to go out and spend some time under the stars out in the California desert this past weekend, and other than losing $300 worth of tripod and the fact it was still 100° at 10 o'clock at night I had a great time.

Here I've captured the northern dusty end of one of the arms of our very own Milkyway galaxy arching over some pretty cool foreground intrest. This was the last of a few hundred long exposure frames I captured during the night over the course of 7 or 8 different compositions I had found. The ambient temperature and the large numbers of long exposures meant that this frame was LOADED with noise and hot pixels.

To counter noise and hot pixels I typically take between 10 to 15 frames of any given scene and then take two or three dark frames so my post processing software can identify the hot pixels and remove them for me. In this case because this was the last shot of the night I took this as a single frame I didn't have the usual set of exposures needed to properly complete an image. As such I used Adobe's new de-noise software in the CameraRAW application. It works pretty well, but because the noise and hot pixels were so bad I really had to crank it up for the foreground and it overly softened much of the detail to be found there.

Still though, I'd rather have the shot than not.

===============

Nikon D750

Rokinon 14mm @ f/2.8

20 seconds

ISO 3200

===============

Let's go exploring.

#opt outside #nature #outdoors #no people #the hikers eye #landscape #go outside and play #landscape photography #nature photography #original photography #original photographer #astro #astrophotography #milkyway #starry night #starry sky #milkyway photography

[baeglbites]

Ok ok please listen to this niche jjk train of thoughts

What if, wielders of six eyes have variation in colors but it’s usually kind of blue ish purplish sometimes lilac.

But what if there’s a six eyes user that doesn’t look like the previous users. Black hair and black eyes. But their eyes are iridescent with fragment of colors like a black opal, or like those milkyway night skies.

Then I thought, oh what if they’re mistaken to be zenin and then hey what about foil character to this character? A Zenin that looks like a Gojo

and hey how about making them the gojo clan leader and zenin clan leader that fought and killed each other??? So this is where I am at:

#baegl's art #jjk #rambles #thank you for listening #I’m going to draw more of them

[goddess-mixmi]

New Jujutsu Kaisen Oc

This is Hisui but she goes by the nickname Jade, born March 16th age 19/20, born to a black father and Asian mother. She is being mentored by Apollo who was the one who took her in after he found her while on a mission. Him and Shoko raised the trouble girl as if she was their own and even their daughter Saori Dee’s her as a sister. Hisui was born to non-sorcerer family which led to them seeing her as a bringer of misfortune. This lead to poor treatment and often referred to her as an “evil witch” here to curse them all, her technique {Dark Milky Way} developed from the negative energy she was raised around.

Her family was killed by cursed spirits but she managed to make it out alive but was covered in bruises and cuts, that lager many scars. Which she tries to hide with a trench coat and long clothing, she’s also a goth.

She’s not a people person, she doesn’t like to associate with others given how she was treated and her scars that she is self conscious of. Now she is working full time at a restaurant while on her suspension, she shortly meets Takuma Ino who she scared away many times but he never gave up. He might be the one to make her trust people again. Fun fact she smokes weed, more so as a way to relax, on that note she picks up a habit for smoking from Shoko.

{Dark MilkyWay} is a technique formed of illusions, hypnotic/hypnosis and shadows, from this technique her eyes become more special that they glow.

This ability is far more advanced of the 10 shadows and new shadows techniques, this ability is dangerous according to some which earned her the rank of special grade. Because of this the higher ups do not trust her as such and had her suspended from jujutsu tech grounds alongside the 3rd years despite her graduating. She also learned RCT from Shoko in hopes of being able to remove her own scars but she wasn’t successful. She insisted uses her RCT to heal others. But she appreciates her new adoptive family for caring for her and making her feel human.

Character inspo: Darcy (Winx Club), Jade West (Victorious), Hisui Fiore (Fairy tail)

#jujutsu kaisan #jujutsu kaisen oc #jujutsu kaisen original character #ino takuma #jjk oc #jjk #jjk anime #jujutsu kaisen anime #gojo satoru #geto suguru #shoko ieiri #nanami kento #yuji itadori #fushiguro megumi #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu sorcerer #art on tumblr #original character #ryomen sukuna #art #anime art #呪術廻戦 #anime and manga #oc art work

[kaepop-trash]

Notorious: Act IV

Rated: 18+ ONLY, Smut, Neo-Noir, Femme Fatale, Undercover Agent, Criminal, Exes to "Lovers", Mutual Pining, Cat and Mouse dynamics but make it hurt.

Pairing: JaehyunxReaderxJohnny

Summary: Inspired by Notorious (1946), Ever since your father went to jail for an illegal arms trade, a lot had changed in your life. Your present was about living with a tarnished reputation, the only redemption being a strange man who you agreed to help get to the root of the same trade that ruined your family. Still, just as you were adjusting to that very man, your past came back to haunt you. The only part of your past that had ever been happy till it wasn't, a part you could leave behind but never forget. But if Johnny was your past and Jaehyun your present, what would your future be?

Chapter Summary: Johnny asks (Y/N) for a precious favour. Jaehyun is against it and she isn't too keen on it either. What do you do when your worst fears come true?

Warnings: Smut; Fingering, Penetration, unprotected sex; Strong themes of alchoholism, emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, gaslighting. THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE ASPIRATIONAL.

Word Count: 9.7k

(A/N): This took me a very long time because it was very heavy to write. Without getting too much into it, I just hope everyone can forgive me for being so inconsistent.

Act I | Act II | Act III

Taglist: @commentgirl @sadgirlroo @nak4m8to @babyksworld @milkyway-vxm @hwangfulok-blog

Johnny took her hand in his under the table, an old habit that she had just learned to live with by now. The immobility the gesture gave, made it hard to open the menu so she just leaned over to the side to peer into his.

(Y/N) could see his lips tug from the corner of her eye at the gesture as he brushed a kiss against her temple. When she turned, he gave her a pursed smile, eyes glimmering with the light that had slowly started returning in the past month. The same glimmer that made her fall in love with him once upon a time.

“You should get the shrimp pasta, they make it really well here.” His voice was soft. She had to look away to ignore the thumping in her chest, giving him a nod. He was happier lately, more than perhaps she could recall. The only time she could remember him being happier was the day he got on one knee in front of her.

(Y/N) pulled herself out of her thoughts with a harsh tug, “Sure, that sounds good.” She shrugged. “I’ll have that and a glass of rosé.”

“You’re not drinking.” He stated with a brisk finality.

“Why not?” She turned to give him a frown. “I want a glass of rosé.”

“You don’t need it though, sweetheart.” He lifted her hand, giving it a kiss. “It’s just a glass of wine.”

“Exactly.” She pulled her hand out of his, “It’s just a glass of wine that I want to pair my food with.

Johnny sighed, “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I appreciate it.” She spoke, clearly not meaning it. “I’m still getting myself what I want.

“(Y/N).” His voice was an impatient warning that he tried to soften with a sigh.

“Stop speaking.” She didn’t soften the warning in her tone. “You can’t make decisions for me.”

“Why are you being like this?” Johnny frowned, “I’ve noticed that you drink too much and I’m just concerned. Why are you making me sound like a villain?” He sounded hurt, brows furrowing.

She stared at him for a moment, feeling whiplash from how rapidly he made her feel nineteen years old again. She had to look away to curb her anger. She reminded herself that she wasn’t nineteen anymore and took a deep breath instead of just spitting her anger out at him. She was not going to make it easier for him.

“I’m not trying to make you sound like a villain. That was not my intention, I apologise if it sounded like that.” She surrendered, looking away and catching a waiter’s eye.

Johnny looked extremely confused from her admittance, forehead creasing for a second before he sighed and gave her a tight lip smile. Johnny had been ready for a fight. One where he could emerge as the martyr, as was his habit. And she was not going to make it easy.

“I just want what’s best for you.” He reasoned.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She hummed, looking up just as the waiter approached. When it looked like Johnny was going to reach for her hand, she busied it by reaching for her glass of water. Johnny didn’t say anything, neither did he make any further attempt to touch her. When the waiter asked if they wanted something to drink with their food, she said no.

“They have a raspberry pudding on the menu.” Johnny spoke for the first time once their plates were empty. "Should we order some?" He asked, speaking like he was walking on eggshells.

"Sure." She spoke, giving him a compliant nod. Johnny flexed his jaw, turning away from her to call a waiter. His forehead creased with clear markings of irritation. The audacity of it offended her, but she willed herself to keep her mouth shut and they finished their dinner in silence.

They made it back to his house like that, Johnny following behind her as they ascended the stairs that led to the living room.

"Why are you angry at me when I was just looking out for you?" He spoke just as she turned to go upstairs to the bedroom.

"Who said I'm angry?" She resisted the urge to frown.

"You are angry." He huffed.

She turned to him with eyes void of any emotion at all. "No I'm not.” She lied. “You just want me to be angry because then you can tell me how you were looking out for me and how I'm not justified in my anger."

Johnny looked a little caught off guard by the assessment, yet recovering in a beat. "I was looking out for you."

Sharp anger rose to her head from the repeated sentence. Like if he said it enough times, she'd somehow believe him. Or he’d believe himself.

"I know. And I am not angry. I said I'm sorry to you then. So why are we having this conversation?” She furrowed her brows, feigning confusion.

“I know you. I especially know your anger.” He injected.

“Was deciding what I'll consume not enough? Now you want to decide how I'm feeling?" The words slipped off her lips with increasing hostility, realising too late when Johnny's frown unfurled. He had trapped her.

"I thought you weren't angry." He took a step closer towards her.

"I'm not." She turned away from him, feeling like a child caught in a lie.

"I wasn't trying to control you.” He took a step on the stairs, coming around her to meet her gaze— and to tower over her. “I was just doing what someone who cares would." He tried to reason, tone still infuriatingly chastising.

"I didn't say you were controlling me." She said without bite, not looking up at him, adamant to not give him anything to use against her again. She knew how he fought, always ready to make himself the victim so she was left to be the perpetrator.

"In only so many words." He came closer, putting a hand over the one she had on the railing. "I just don't see why you drink all the time. You almost finished the whiskey I keep in the office." His tone changed and she tried to move away from the concern.

"I'll buy you more." She tried to go around him, stopping when he squeezed her hand to curb her ascend.

"You know that's not what this is about." His voice edged on a sense of betrayal. "I know things haven't been easy for you. Nobody knows that more than me. But this isn't the answer. Sometimes we need to face things instead of hiding behind temporary solutions."

She gripped her own jaw this time, tight me enough that her cheekbones ached.

"You're assuming too much." Her voice was low, a dangerous line where any louder would make the rolling fury in her erupt. "I'm not hiding." She turned to look at him, "I'm sorry my drinking concerns you. But I don't do it as a crutch." She defended herself, neither of them believing her words entirely.

Johnny looked like he was going to say something but he let go, leaning closer to kiss her brow instead.

"Let's not be like this. I don't want us to fight over every little thing like we used to." He mumbled against her, pulling away to give her a smile and pulling her hand away from the railing into his.

She didn't protest, giving him a nod that they both knew was half hearted.

That night (Y/N) went home. Johnny didn't say anything when she asked to be dropped to the apartment, he knew why. She always took time to be by herself when she was angry. He always told himself that it wasn't to be away from him, but to see the arguments with a much needed distance. He always told himself that she did exactly what he did. And he accepted it because out of all the times she left, it was only once when she didn't come back. He knew this time wouldn’t be the second.

A few days later he asked to meet her at a cafe on Copacabana. Without considering it a choice, she went.

"I'm getting an award." Johnny spoke first, taking the time to drink his coffee before doing so.

Her lips parted to silence, unsure about how to react. "For what?" She asked, swallowing after.

Johnny failed to bite down the smile at the corner of his lips, "Some business award. The company made good profits last year."

"That's great, Johnny. I’m so proud of you." She gave him a smile, weak despite her conscious effort.

"I want you to come with me." He added, stumbling over the words.

"Where would we go?" She questioned with a lighter tone. Johnny didn't respond immediately, instead avoiding her gaze and fidgeting with the handle of his small espresso cup. Realisation dawned on her, squeezing her lungs painfully. "No. I can't." She wanted to sound firm but her words came out a plea.

"It'll just be for three days. It'll be over before you know it. Just an evening of meeting a few strangers." He added with a soft look in his eyes.

"Johnny, I–" she tried to reason, to explain to him how he was asking the impossible of her. "Everybody will talk. Home is–" her words failed her again.

"I know." He reached across the table, grabbing her hand. "But I'll be right there with you. It's an important day for me, (Y/N). It's an important day for the business. So many of my father's family fought tooth and nail to break the company apart. They said I could never take on my father's mantle." His fingers squeezed her palm. Unintentionally, she noted.

"This award." His jaw flexed, "It's a product of every effort I put, everything I've sacrificed. It's proof that all of it was worth something in the end." His eyes clouded with some far away storm, mirroring the encroaching clouds above them. “For them, at least.”

He snapped out of it at the moment, looking at her with a soft smile, "Everybody else there will be an enemy or a stranger. I want you to be there. You're all I have."

His words made the pressure on her lungs shift to the cavity of her heart, pressing down with a punishing weight. There was nothing to say to such a heartfelt plea. It didn't matter that going back home was something that would bring her nothing good, not when the alternate was so heartbreaking.

She could picture Johnny standing there, receiving some mass produced trophy while apathetic and vindictive people all watched and clapped. 

It also seemed to make her see how lonely he must have been all these years. All his achievements, small and big, as well as his failures passing by without a person to pat his back or lend their shoulder. 

"Alright. I'll come." The way the simple gesture made his entire face light up did not make her feel good. These days she was found guilt becoming a chronic pain— one that bothered constantly but had bouts of intensity.

The Two Faces of Concern

“You can’t go.” He got off the sofa in a fury. “We don’t know what kind of people he associates with. We don’t know what could go wrong.” His brows fluffed up in fury, knitting together impossibly tight.

“I don’t have a choice.” She looked to the floor, confused and angered by his demeanor. “What am I supposed to say when he asks me to go with him for something so important?”

“You say you’ll think about it.” He added with an incredulous fury. “Then you come to me! And I we come up with an excuse for you.” His voice rose higher.

“That’s not going to work.” She needed to pause. After so many years, such constant bouts of anger felt unsettling to her. “You don’t know him. That’s why I’m here. Your boss gave me a task. To keep him close and to keep an ear out. I am doing exactly what I was told to do.”

“You can’t do anything if you’re dead!” He pointed his hand at her, his gesture and tone bordering on accusatory. He paused, taking a step back and swallowing. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, a hand coming to his waist while the other rubbed his face.

He walked a few steps around the room, trying to calm down it seemed, before coming back to her. This time he kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Listen to me.” He urged. “Look at me, (Y/N).” He practically pleaded. The desperation in his tone was the only reason she turned to face him. “I know that you think you’re safe. I know you believe you know this man because you knew him once. But you don’t know what he’s capable of. What he’s already done.” He sighed, no doubt understanding the stubborn refusal in her.

Jaehyun’s head dropped, looking defeated. “If something happened to you. I would never forgive myself.” He put a hand on her thigh. The way she turned to glare at it made him recoil. “You’re my responsibility.” He spoke after swallowing the hurt from her gesture. “I’m the sole reason you agreed to do this.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She interjected. She thought the blow would make her feel good about herself. But seeing his face drop only tugged at her now sore chest.

“Why did you agree to go?” He asked, his eyes turning into frigid slits.

“I didn’t think I had a choice.” She repeated herself, each word uttered with a pause to emphasize.

“You always have a choice.” He threw his reciprocating blow with a featherlight tone. Her lips parted from offense, ready to defend herself. But he clarified, “I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen how you change around him.” His accusations cut through her like knives.

“And what change is that, pray tell?” She questioned.

“Your edges soften around him. You let him sway you with his words. You believe his lies despite yourself.” He assessed clinically, like a man whose job it is to read people.

“I feel sorry for him!” Hot tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, “Surely you can at least try to understand how it must feel. And I'm always tiptoeing around him because your boss wants me to keep him happy!" She deflected the accusation, distantly wondering why she was getting so defensive.

“He’s devoted to you.” Jaehyun simply stated, looking away from her with a grimace.

"I know." She spoke around the lump forming in her throat at her own confession. "Which is why your caution is out of line."

"The more the devotion, the more betrayal he will feel eventually, (Y/N). Remember that when you're in a different country with him, out of my reach. When I can't save you if something happens." He cautioned still.

Maybe his words made her feel like a child, something she hated feeling, because her next words were self-admittedly out of line.

"I'm out of your reach every time I'm in his bed too, Jaehyun." The words were no louder than a pin dropping. “He could choked me to death while inside me and you wouldn’t know.”

Jaehyun got up in a huff that left a gust of air in it's wake. He turned away from her swiftly as she tried to push down the part of her that wanted to take the words back.

"When are you leaving?" He questioned, adjusting his clothes and distracting himself.

"Day after." She answered dispassionately.

"The least you can do is keep me updated on your whereabouts. The captain will need a report on it." He was already ready to walk away.

"Sure." Her response was the final task he had, taking long strides and shutting his bedroom door with a loud thud.

She sighed, the solitude allowing her to finally drop each pretense she had to keep up just to survive each day. 

Tears were almost commonplace on her lashes now. Angry tears, frustrated tears, heartbroken tears and tears of defeat. But each fresh bout always left her feeling betrayed by her own body.

Home

Coming home was odd. Even from the moment she landed, the airport was very familiar to her. Johnny didn't point out how silent she was ever since they landed. In fact, he seemed deep in his own thoughts while both of them watched the familiar streets pass by.

(Y/N) was so engrossed in her thoughts that it took her a while to realise that that the streets they passed were a little too familiar. When they stopped in front of a building she would recognise anywhere, her heart dropped into her stomach. When she turned to look at Johnny, his smile was a small one. The gleam in his eyes though was unmistakable.

“How?” She questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

“Let’s go home first, I’ll tell you upstairs.” He told her, reaching over to take her hand in his. To go Home.

Walking into her old apartment was like being transported back in time. Everything was as she remembered, including the little trinkets of decoration scattered around the space. The teal vase on the table in front of the foyer, the dark green couch, even the white curtains were all things she had bought herself once upon a time. (Y/N) was speechless.

“When I heard they were auctioning your father’s estate after the trial, I tried not to give it mind.” Johnny spoke after closing the door behind him. “But I ended up looking up the catalogue.” She could hear him come closer, her eyes still busy scanning her old apartment. “When I saw that this apartment was on the list. I couldn’t help myself.” He stopped a few steps behind her.

“How?” Her voice gave away her surprise, “How did you pay for it? Your father was still–” She stopped, unsure of whether that was a line she could tow.

“He didn’t even know about it.” He stated with a razor thin edge to his voice. “I broke my trust fund and managed to buy the place with everything intact.” He continued, sounding so utterly dismissive about it.

“Johnny.” She finally turned to face him, all the building emotions bubbling up her throat. 

“This was my home too.” His hands remained in his pocket, eyes on the floor. “In my entire life, this was the place I was the happiest. I wasn’t ready to let that go. Especially when it was one of the rare things I had the power to keep.”

She could understand his feelings even if the gesture overwhelmed her. She remained silent for a moment longer, just looking him over till Johnny shifted under the prolonged scrutiny.

“You’re making me nervous.” His forehead creased. The chuckle that left him was dry.

Good. She thought, now he knew how she felt around him all those years ago.

“Say something.” He added with a smaller voice. "Please."

She took two steps till he was in arm’s reach, clutching at his t-shirt to pull him the rest of the way. Their lips met in a clumsy crash, teeth clashing into teeth. Johnny’s arms snaked around her waist to control the pace.

There was no haste in their movements anymore. Johnny had nothing to prove this time, and she had nowhere to hide. It was a slow kiss that only existed to exist. Like walking around your house in the dark because you know every turn like the back of your hand.

When his hips pressed against hers, she stumbled back with confidence. Letting instinct take over, they moved towards the destination known to them instinctually. She didn’t even realise where she was stumbling to till her back pressed against the piano.

His hands dragged down her back, and she leapt without being told, arms resting on his neck. Gingerly, he sat her down on the polished black surface.

“This is still my favourite place to fuck you.” He whispered against her mouth, peppering kisses over her face as he stroked her dress higher up her thighs.

“Me too.” She answered, tugging his belt off with a quick tug.

“I have waited.” He spoke between his increasingly heavy kisses, “I’ve laboured.” He nipped against her shoulders, “I even prayed.” His tongue swirled over the vein on her neck, bringing short gasps from her. “And I would have done more.” He dragged his teeth over her skin, making the hairs on the back of her neck rise. “I would drag down heaven to earth, if it meant I could have you back here. That’s why I couldn’t let this place go. Because I will never let you go.” 

His words left her light-headed, unable to breathe. After tugging his pants below his waist, she sighed with relief when he pulled it off the rest of the way himself. Her hands reached the hem of his shirt just as his index tapped her thigh, a silent request to lift her hips off the piano. The remainder of their clothes hit the floor together, lips crashing together shortly after the interruption.

“Sometimes I think I’ve finally gone crazy. That I wished for you so bad that I created an illusion just to survive.” His laboured breath fanned her neck.

“I told you.” The strain of her breath matched his, “If this was a dream it would be easier.” His fingers brushed over her naked heat, slipping into her slowly.

“No.” He said as her eyes fluttered shut, “I wouldn’t be, (Y/N). I love all of you. Even my illusions would be of who you are, not who you can be.”

“Including the difficult parts?” Her jaw dropped when he began scissoring his fingers.

“Especially those. But you already know that.” He kept up his ministrations till Johnny was satisfied that he’s stretched her out well. "I know you feel the same." There was a fragile hope in his voice.

“I can’t love what I don’t know.” Her heart began hammering, and it had nothing to do with how he brushed over her G-spot. She willed her eyes to look into his, “Tell me your worst.” She requested, eyes meek but voice resolute. Her form faltered when he began to enter her without warning, easing himself in a few inches at a time. “You already know all of mine.” She lied.

“I will. One of these days.” He promised, both of them groaning when he filled her up completely.

She knew his words were a lie. Johnny would never tell her the truth. It wasn't because he didn’t want to, she knew that he craved understanding more than anything else. His claims of seeing her so absolutely came with the desire to want to be seen with the same transparency. But he’d hold the secret to himself because he knew her. 

He knew that she would struggle to accept the reality of who he was. Two months ago, he would have been right. These days she felt like this charade was marking itself on her skin.

“Johnny.” She moaned when she felt her gut tie into a knot. “Don’t stop.” She pawed at his chest, unsure whether she wanted to pull him closer or push him away.

“Never.” He promised again, leaving a trail of gentle kisses all over her face as he increased his pace. He watched her intently as her face scrunched up, her jaw going slack as she came crashing down.

She wasn’t sure when he came, but when he pulled out, she felt the warmth ooze out of her. Exhausted from the long trip and everything that followed, her thoughts lost the ability to linger, and she simply leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder, surrendering her weight soon after. He picked her up with ease, lifted her legs to wrap around his waist and guided them to the bedroom that was once hers— that they once shared during a time when the future felt a lot more certain. 

She fell asleep in his arms and, for the first time in years, it felt right. She blamed her old apartment and her sleep-addled brain for it. With your eyes closed, it was hard to remember when in time she was.

The next two days were spent locked away. The days were passed between the sheets, caught between the memories of a once-perfect life. 

Johnny was lighter here. His eyes were brighter and he was less burdened by his own notions. It felt closest to the Johnny she was once crazy about from afar. It was the Johnny she went to watch at basketball matches in school and then at his University when he graduated before her. She didn't even like basketball.

He even resorted to his old sense of humour. One she had almost not noticed the lack of. Despite all signs pointing to otherwise, (Y/N) always knew Johnny for his intensity. To see him like that all the time now had begun to feel natural to her.

So it surprised her when she seemed to easily match his quips with her own. He was surprised too, she could tell with a dizzying sense of glee. For the first time, their relationship seemed to be on equal footing. Even if the relationship itself was a sham.

"Have you decided what you want to wear to the ceremony?" Johnny questioned over breakfast on the third day. 

She shook her head at her omlette, "I figured you'll pick." She shrugged.

Johnny looked pleased when she met his eyes, trying to hide it like he was caught. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to." He stated as he reached for his juice.

"Why not?" She frowned, "You always pick outfits for these things."

"That's exactly why I wasn't sure."

She felt ambushed by the remark, not sure why he sounded so aggrieved. Not wanting to ruin a good week they had been having, she acted like she didn't notice.

"One less thing to worry about." She tried to keep her her tone light, brushing it off with a shrug.

She ended up joining him on a quick errand run in the afternoon. He promised to quickly drop something off at the office before taking her to buy something. Having nothing better to do, she agreed.

When she walked into Johnny's office, she was aware that people watched as they walked by. Despite only coming into the building a handful of times her entire life, it was understandable that they knew who she was. The lingering whispers told her that they probably knew what she had once done too, or what her father did. It was like the moment she left the safety of seclusion, she was reminded once again how stifling this world could be.

(Y/N) stood in the changing room, running her hands over the fitted bust of the dress on her. She tried to picture herself, standing beside Johnny on an occasion where he was the guest of honour. All eyes on him, and as a consequence on her. Her hand turned over, knuckles digging into the beading on the corset. Did she look like she deserved to stand beside a man like that?

The last thought soured in her mind the very next second, a burdensome idea that pulled out the rotting creature inside her— the creature of habit. She walked out to look for the attendant to unzip her, only to find that Johnny had returned from browsing the shop. He looked up when he heard the curtains draw open, his attention seizing immediately.

"You look beautiful." He told her, eyes dragging over her entire form before coming back to her eyes and making her cheeks heat up.

"I don't like it too much." She looked away from him, busying herself with scanning the rack of clothes she had picked for fun. All in an attempt to avoid second guessing herself in the face of his compliment.

"I picked something for you." She didn't know when he had moved so close, gasping when his breath hit the back of her neck.

Her fingers stilled on a dress she thought would flatter her, a dress she could actually like. "Show me." She asked softly.

She ended up picking the dress Johnny picked. Looking in the mirror, it felt like the dress that most suited the intention she was going for. Most importantly, Johnny looked happy when they left the boutique.

He was still grinning when they got into the car. He turned to her with the kind of sparkle in his eyes that still never failed to make her heart skip a small beat. She blamed this on the fact that those sparkles were now rare.

“I just have one last thing to do and then we can go home. Do you want to get dinner before that or do you want to eat at home?” He reached over to take her hand in his.

“Let’s just eat out. I don’t want you to go back and cook, that’s too exhausting.”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugged.

“Yeah but I do.” She laughed, “I want you to myself after we get home.” She looked away from him with a coy smile. Laughing when Johnny leaned closer as she predicted.

“You know how to convince a man, (Y/N).” He teased her.

“I know how to convince you.” Her eyes rolled back as his lips pressed against her neck, lips parting when he hummed.

“Of course you do. I am a lucky man, after all." He placed a kiss on her neck, lingering long enough to elicit a reaction from her.

The driver stopped, silently signalling their arrival. (Y/N) looked out the window, confused about what she saw. 

“A jewellery store? Should I be worried?” She only partially joked, swallowing her folly when he gave her a half-hearted smile in response.

"Rin is getting married next month. I wanted to get her something nice." 

“Oh,” was all she could manage in response. "But she's so young." She mumbled, picturing the small girl that followed Johnny around.

He laughed, his cheeks stretching into the whiskers she hadn’t seen in years till that moment. "She's younger than us for sure." He reached out, taking her hands into hers. "But old enough to start her own family, I guess." He squeezed her knuckles once before giving a tug. "Let's go?"

"Oh, I-" She looked out of the window beside her, "What will I do?" She said awkwardly.

"Give your fashionable opinion on what to get." He shrugged avoiding her gaze, opening the door on his side to the curb.

(Y/N) felt confused by the change in his demeanour but nodded with a smile, following him out of the vehicle. Johnny took her hand in his, squeezing it once again.

“You look so beautiful today.” He gave her a tight lipped smile, not really looking at her before saying it. 

Her brows knit together, wondering why he was acting strange. The question was bubbling up to her lips as they walked into the store. And then a sound made her turn to look.

“Johnny!” Rin squealed with a wide grin. The next moment her eyes fell on (Y/N). Her smile flipped instantly, gaze steeling over. Johnny squeezed her hand again.

“Have you picked anything yet?” He asked back, trying to hide the strain in his voice with a breezy laugh.

Rin didn’t speak, she didn’t move. All she did was stare at (Y/N), eyes full of suspicion and disgust. (Y/N) pictured the Rin she remembered, with the wide and kind smile that both her and Johnny got from their mothers.

(Y/N) wished the ground would swallow her, or a strong wind would sweep her away.

“What is she doing here?” Another voice chimed in, Rin’s mother. (Y/N) squeezed Johnny’s hand, he didn’t reciprocate.

Rin’s eyes caught the moment, falling to their joined palms. “They’re back together.” She said in tandem with her realisation, turning back to face her mother. A silent conversation passed between them where (Y/N) only caught the look on the mother’s face. More distrust, even more disgust. 

Johnny’s aunt never liked (Y/N). Her family was a newcomer in their circle, moving into town after her grandfather sold their ancestral property to his government. (Y/N)’s family was older than theirs, and they were richer than Rin’s father. 

(Y/N) and her father were born in this city. But to Rin’s mother and those like her, (Y/N) was always going to be just one thing. A foreigner.

“Yes we are.” Johnny spoke up after several moments, his voice small. He tugged at her hand lightly, making her realise that (Y/N) had shifted to hide behind him. “You know how much Rin loved to dress up in (Y/N)’s clothes. That’s why she wanted to help pick my gift.”

(Y/N)’s ears rang so loud that she didn’t hear their response or what Johnny said in return. She slipped out of the present moment, wrapping herself in her mind and hiding in its comfort. Rin used to love dressing up in (Y/N)’s clothes because she was a teenager whose parents dressed her like a toddler. Rin used to look upto (Y/N) because she was her favourite cousin’s favourite person. And now she was the one who ruined her favourite cousin’s soul.

A hot shiver racked up her chest that felt like a sob and (Y/N) crushed it between her newly manicured nails. Johnny tugged her forward and she followed without resistance, not even thinking of the action. Unlike them, she would not be allowed to show her own betrayal so blatantly.

“What do you think about this?” Johnny’s voice snapped her back to reality, bringing her focus to his hands. He held a necklace littered with diamonds, sparkling so hard that she had to squint.

“Feels too much.” She spoke before she could think. When Rin’s mother shot her a look, (Y/N) bit her tongue.

“I think we should get something smaller.” Rin chimed in, tone clipped.

“No that isn’t what I meant.” (Y/N) tried to say, but Johnny frowned and she realised that her thoughtless words had done something to offend them all. So she just exhaled, “I think Rin’s opinion is what should matter, Johnny. She should pick.” She squeezed Johnny’s arm and gave the women the best smile she could manage.

(Y/N) took a step back, deciding that was the best course of action. This wasn’t her world anymore, she tried to remind herself. What these people thought about her didn’t matter anymore.

That is what she repeated to herself over and over as she found a chair to sit on, trying her best to stay out of anybody’s way. Away was where she had intended to stay till Johnny was done. After the rush of immediate injustice subsided, she wondered if she was being unfair. Rin was Johnny's cousin in name. In practice, she was the closest thing he had to a little sister. They grew up side by side and he had always adored her. When his mother died, Rin lost her aunt as well. They shared that loss.

Rin was family and she loved her brother. (Y/N) just wished that Johnny didn’t bring her here. No matter his intention, he must have known that this would be uncomfortable for everyone. (Y/N) took a deep breath, tearing her gaze away from the happy smiles the three shared. She reminded herself again that this wasn’t her world anymore.

In an effort to distract herself, (Y/N) scanned through the pieces of jewellery in the glass cases around her. She got up to look around, browsing to picture what the owner of each piece would be like. 

She saw a blue sapphire tiara that would belong to an oil heiress, a 25 carat topaz cocktail ring that looked like it was bought by a widow who inherited a barony, and a macau brooch that looked like it belonged to the mistress of a dictator. Each piece stood out with an inherent personality and she was almost lost in their worlds during her brief lingering study.

She stopped in front of a bracelet of ruby. The individual stoned were laid in so seamlessly that it looked like one dazzling sheet of the vibrant stone. Only on close inspection could you see the hexagon cut stones with an occasional deep green emerald and clear diamond tucked in between the sea of red. The bracelet looked like it was seeped in blood because of the deep hue of the rubies. (Y/N) concluded that this would belong to someone who had blood on their hands, the sparkling diamonds distracting from the ocean of red.

“Do you like it?” Johnny spoke and she jumped. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had been sneaked up upon. Jaehyun would be pissed if he saw how badly she had let her guard down today.

“Not at all.” She said, turning away from the display to turn to him.

“It’s exactly your taste.” Johnny countered, brows furrowing in that signature confusing way. Where one couldn’t tell if he was concerned or furious.

“I wasn’t aware that you knew my tastes better than me.” She dismissed his words, walking away to find more temporary lives to live between shiny stones.

“Of course I do. It is the buyers burden to pick the right gift.” He smirked.

“You don’t need to buy anything so don’t burden yourself.” She shrugged.

“It would look beautiful on you. It looks like it was made for you.” He insisted, “Let me get it. I want to see you wear it.” He raised his hand to call for an attendant. She grabbed his wrist immediately but the action did exactly what she feared. Along with the attendant, Rin and her mother turned to them.

“Could you please show me this set?” Johnny asked.

“Set? Johnny wh-” She tugged at his sleeve but he clicked his tongue. “Please, you’re here to buy your sister a wedding present. Don’t do this, it looks bad. What will they think, Johnny? They already hate me.” She whispered and hissed but he was undeterred.

“They don’t hate you. They just think they still have to pick sides.” He said with excruciating naivety. “Besides, it’s my money. I will do what I want with it.”

The attendant walked up to the case and she had no choice but to let it go.

“A beautiful choice, Sir. They say a high quality ruby is rarer than a diamond. Each stone is individually sourced from around the world to have the same pigeon’s blood hue.” He spoke to them while being loud enough to be heard by Rin, assuming she was the one he had to convince.

“Rubies don’t really suit Rin.” Her mother laughed from across the room. “Plus I don’t think red would be appropriate for the wedding.”

“It’s for (Y/N). Johnny said without turning to them. But (Y/N) was looking and she saw the women’s face. If she believed that Ruby wasn’t an appropriate choice before, she now wanted it nonetheless.

“Look.” Johnny whispered close to her ear, “It’s perfect.” He was loud enough for just them.

(Y/N) turned at his words, failing to catch her gasp in her throat. It truly was a beautiful set. The bracelet, as beautiful as it was, seemed to be a puzzle piece of a larger masterpiece. The necklace was a mofit of ruby flowers with only a few of them having equally splendid emerald leaves. The earrings too were beautifully set scarlet rubies with joints of diamonds. The whole set that diamonds on the joints but it did truly fill like an afterthought, a blank canvas to highlight the rubies the same way the emeralds conntrasted them. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she hated the fact. She hated that she wanted it despite herself.

“I love it.” Her voice wavered. It was the truth but she wanted him to think it was a lie. She wanted him to think she didn’t want it, but also hoped that he knew how much she appreciated it. Her head hurt.

“Wear it for me when we go home. Just this.” He had the gall to ask.

She decided it best to respond to him in fear of what she’d let slip. Hopefully, Johnny would get the hint.

She stayed by Johnny’s side till Rin had successfully picked her choice. They didn’t acknowledge each other but Johnny slipped his arm around her waist. If Johnny thought that a few stones would make her forget what he did today, he truly must have started believing that she was a figment of his imagination.

The necklace Rin had picked for herself was beautiful, a string of dazzling transparent diamonds with the occasional pink stone that made it look whimsical. But (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how Rin’s mother kept eyeing the closed lid on the ruby set.

“If the box is that beautiful, the thing itself must be a treat.” She commented.

“It is.” Johnny grinned, opening the box to show it. 

Both of their lips pursed on seeing the set. (Y/N) bit her lip harshly, only feeling the storm inside her growing. Rin looked away with a shake of her head, turning back to her own gift with a gentle smile.

“Johnny you should come for my party! It’s in an hour anyway.” Rin beamed, clearly happy.

“Sure.” Johnny shrugged, “We would love to come.” 

All three women turned to Johnny but he looked like he did not notice. (Y/N) bit her tongue, hoping that his aunt would chime in again. But she did not.

“Sure.” Rin spoke after the excruciating silence, “See you there.”

“She doesn’t even want me there!” (Y/N) tried to explain, struggling to keep her voice levelled lest he accuse her of overreacting.

“If she didn’t, why would she ask you to come, (Y/N)?” Johnny spoke to his laptop, having it on his lap since they got back into the car with the excuse of pending work. In truth he was doing his best to avoid her justified fury.

“She didn’t! You made us a package deal.” She huffed, fist clenching in her lap, creasing her dress.

“We are a package deal.” Johnny looked up at her, frowning. “That’s what it means to be in a relationship, does it not?”

Her first clenched tighter, “That isn’t the point, but you don’t care so why bother?” She was so livid that a defeated laugh slipped past her lips. “Just go without me. No one will want me there, this is unnecessary.”

“They will suck it up then. You are my girlfriend, if someone has a problem with that then they will have to tell us both to leave.”

“I don’t want to go either, Johnny.” She took both his hands into hers, trying to make him look at her. She pleaded with him now, desperate to be released from this. “You will make this uncomfortable for everyone, including Rin.” She tried to use his precious cousin to make her point.

To her relief, it looked like he was considering it for a moment, grinding his teeth together as his eyes remained still on her.

“I’ve already said we’re going. We can’t cancel.” He stated plainly, taking his hands out of hers.

She laughed again, the same furious laugh of utter disbelief and even more betrayal. She was the fool to believe his claims of having changed.

Sins of the Past

The party was worse than she imagined. (Y/N) told herself she had tried. She had tried to smile and she had tried to ignore the looks and whispers. She even tried to ignore that her cousin, Isabella was there; ignore when she brought up specific moments that were an attempt to embarrass her.

She ignored it all because these people were Johnny’s family and friends and she owed him this much. So she tried to keep herself scarce and waited for the moment it would be appropriate to ask him to leave. She had also decided to just not bring today up after it was over. There was no point anyway.

This is how she had lulled herself in her own mind, monitoring the windows for the sunset.

“(Y/N) you haven’t said a word all evening.” A voice chimed up, one of Johnny’s friends from university.

(Y/N) turned, ready with her excuse of being tired.

“That’s her seventh glass, after all.” Her cousin chimed in, biting her lip like she somehow hadn’t been waiting all evening to bring it up.

(Y/N) felt her resolve snap, “I’ve just never been the type to invite myself to conversations I’m not a part of.” Only as she reached halfway through her sentence did sense catch on.

“And yet you’re here.” Her cousin scoffed, ignoring the shove the person beside her gave her.

She let the words crash over her, trying her best to brush it off. Yet, despite those words, it was a silence that rang louder. Johnny’s silence.

“At least I was invited out of love and not obligation.” She shot back, letting her day’s indignation ferment into the venom that dripped from her tongue.

“Ironic because that love is also an obligation. You would know if you had the capacity for either.”

“How would you know what love is?” She asked, genuinely curious.

Her cousin laughed, “Truly, I would never understand your idea of love. At least you got a pretty necklace out of it though.” She raised her glass to (Y/N), “My mother did always say that you were as oppurtunistic as your mother.”

“Don’t talk about my mother. You don’t want me to speak.” (Y/N)’s voice came out so low that she surprised herself. Her whole body shook from the impossible weight of her anger.

More silence. This time she turned to Johnny. A part of her hoped that if he wouldn’t defend her, then he would at least walk out. But Johnny only sat in the sofa across the room, eyes on the floor and furrowed in it’s signature unreadable way.

(Y/N) turned back to the bar she was sitting against, reaching over to pull the closest bottle towards her. “Eight is my lucky number.” She said loud enough for both Johnny and her cousin to hear. Once full to her heart’s content, she picked up her glass along with the leftover pieces of her dignity and held both tightly in her fist. Before she could tilt her glass to her lips, a hand landed on hers.

“No more, (Y/N).” Johnny warned, voice wavering with anger. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you angry about?” She asked, laughing again as she said the words out loud, finding the situation ridiculous. Still she realised that she said it louder than intended, probably sounding like the drunk she was painted to be.

“Just put the glass down, (Y/N).” He told her, despite having a death grip on her wrist that controlled all her movement.

“You’re causing a scene, Johnny.” She said the words that Johnny has used on her cyclically before.

“Get up.” He wasn’t asking. She listened because she didn’t want to drag on the public spectacle. As Johnny dragged her across the room, she couldn’t help glance at her cousin. Her eyes were on Johnny’s hand on her arm and (Y/N) bottled the small victory up.

“Let me go.” She said when she realised that he wasn’t walking towards the door, “I just want to go home.”

“First we need to apologise to Rin.” He spoke with his jaw set tight, like she was to be blamed. She couldn’t even tell if she was, not with everyone staring at her the way they did. She hated this place with every fibre of her being. 

Johnny stopped in front of Rin, letting out a trembling sigh that held back all of his anger. “I’m sorry for all of this.” Johnny said so sincerely that (Y/N) wanted to scream. He was apologising on her behalf and she had nothing to be apologetic for.

“I don’t understand why you try so hard with her?” Rin spoke like (Y/N) wasn’t standing right in front of her. “She ruined you from the inside out and you just fell for the same lies again. The only thing that’s changed since the last time is that she can’t fall back on her father. Or his money.” Rin hissed, the words dragging down (Y/N)’s back like nails on a chalkboard.

As calmly as she could, (Y/N) pulled her arm out of Johnny’s. She knew that leaving wasn’t going to help because Johnny would follow her and blame her for it. So instead she turned to the open balcony behind Rin, walking in and closing the door behind her.

She stood there, the wind whistling in her ear like it was wincing at her circumstance. She had given up trying to wipe her tears away because it only made her skin sting. She stood there and told herself that, if nothing else, she was at least sure she had made the right decision all those years ago.

"Come back inside." His order announced his arrival after a very long time. (Y/N) wiped her eyes, lowering her chin so her hair would hide her face. She didn't dignify the words with an answer, continuing to look out at the city below her.

"(Y/N)." He warned, "Everybody will wonder where you are."

"No they won't." Her jaw slid over the other, teeth grinding down. "They know why I am not inside. So just go back to your party, Johnny. Otherwise they'll wonder where you are."

He sighed, a sound of rustling following that was clearly him running his hands through his hair. "Look I'm sure she didn't mean to sound so–"

"Hostile?" She turned, tongue and gaze both sharp as a knife. "What else did she intend to sound like when she called me an opportunistic slut? A fucking gold digger?"

"She didn't say that." He put his hands into his pockets.

(Y/N) gave him an incredulous face, his dismissal stinging more than anything anybody inside was capable of.

"Go inside, John. I don't want to fight with you right now. They'll blame me for your bad mood."

"God damn it!" Johnny kicked something, the sound of shattering following after. She turned with wide eyes to see a flower pot lying in pieces on the floor on a pile of soil. "I just wanted one good day. Just a relaxed day where I can spend time with what remains of my family and the woman I love. Why are you doing this?"

"I am not." She looked up at him, words interrupted by a belligerent breath. "What have I done?" She asked, confused and hurt. "My cousin said so many things. I just listened. You said nothing in my defense and I still just stood there, I took it all. Even when Rin said those things. I just stood there. What else do you want me to do?"

"Just come inside."

"I don't want to! Why do I have to go back? So they can whisper as I walk by again? So they can pat themselves on the back after they confirm that I have no shame? No sense of self respect?” She took a step closer as Johnny stumbled back, “You told me to come back to this city with you. You promised me that it would just be the award. You broke that promise. Then you told me to help you buy something for your cousin I agreed. You didn't tell me they would be there too. You sabotaged me and I stayed silent. You said yes to this and I did not protest. Your cousin said whatever she wished. You did not defend me and I still did not so much as make a sound. You failed me and you didn’t bother protecting me, the women you love. What more do you want from me?” She questioned, tears blurring her vision. 

She furiously wiped at her face, the back of her hand dragging the skin till her face felt raw again.

“You’re hurting yourself.” He said gently. It grated her more than anything so far. What good was his concern now?

"Why didn't you defend me?" She cut him off. "You keep talking about what this means to you." She pointed between them. "So what? You will drag down heaven to earth for me but you can't stand up for me?" She pointed out what he said to her.

Johnny furrowed his brows, "What was I supposed to say?"

"You were supposed to tell her to shut up! You were supposed to remind her that I am the person who you claim to love. You were supposed to say that you wanted me back. The least you could have done was said you wanted me here, Johnny. You should have said something.” She groaned, turning away from him. The reiteration of the betrayal brought a fresh assault of tears. She felt so weak and vulnerable begging in front of him. And Johnny looked bemused.

"So what?” Johnny said calmly,” You don't want to be together?" 

“Don't twist my words.” She warned him.

"Twist?" Johnny's brows creased, "It's what you just said!" He shoved his hand in the space between them, raising his voice.

"You’re shouting. Don't start a fight." She stepped back from him, feeling like she was being cornered into this confrontation.

"I'm not the one trying to start a fight." He countered.

"All I did was step out of a room where I am not wanted. To let out the tears I could not inside. I didn’t leave because I know you want to meet your friends and family, so I am here and I just want to be left along."

"You left because it shows everyone inside how wrapped around your finger I am. Because you know I would follow you in here immediately." Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at her over his nose.

"Excuse me?” She said so loudly that a pigeon on the balcony across rushed to take flight. "First your cousin assumes she knows what I'm thinking, now you do the same. Does manipulation run in the family?"

"I don't understand how you can be so mad when she's right.” Johnny’s voice turned cold, his eyes cruel, “They're all justified, you know? You did do the things she said. You did ruin me from inside out."

"Then why are we here?" She screamed, her resolve slipping. She grabbed it before it disappeared completely, bringing her voice back down. "If your family are still angry about what happened, if you’re angry, then what are we doing? And before you say anything." She raised her hand to stop him from interrupting. "You are allowed to be as angry as you want. I hurt you so much and I understand that you can’t just forget that. I deserve your anger. What I don’t deserve is you treating me like this. And you don’t deserve to be with someone who makes you so miserable. If you're this angry then you simply cannot love me.”

"Now you're the one reading my mind." He spoke, immediately recoiling into his indignation.

“Don’t deflect!” She snapped. “You're lying to yourself if you think you do. Because that amount of hostility borders on disgust. You hate me so much that you will stand aside while someone insults me like that. For something you did, Johnny!" Her eyes welled up again and she had to turn away.

(Y/N) hated that after a certain threshold, her anger always gave way to tears. She hated it because, on more than one occasion, Johnny had accused her of using her tears to win arguments. She hated the accusation because she had never intended to win any arguments with him, she knew it was impossible. All she wanted was to explain her side of it.

“What did I do?” Johnny frowned, taking a step closer to invade her personal space.

“Why didn’t you tell them that you got the jewllery yourself? Did I ask you for it? Why didn’t you tell them that I told you I didn’t want it? Why didn’t you tell them what you told me?” She shoved him away, discomfitted by being this close to his overbearing presence. Johnny had the dreadful habit of towering close to her during arguments.

After a long moment of saying nothing, of just staring her down, Johnny sighed. “I just don’t want us to fight.” He came closer to her in an attempt to touch her.

His words made her see red in a way that felt dangerous. She shoved him again, harder than she expected. He must not have expected it either, because surprise filled his eyes as he lost his balance. There was an unmistakable sound of flower pots shattering, but (Y/N) was already shoving the balcony door open. She froze, turning to look back at him.

"Are you hurt?" She stepped towards him. But Johnny stood up immediately and walked around her, talking quick strides towards the door without once looking back.

She burned from head to toe, a mix of anger and mortification. He left before her, leaving her to walk out by herself. With a hesitant gait, she walked across the now crowded foyer. They all looked away, pretending they hadn’t witnessed the quarrel from the other side of the glass doors. But the side glances confirmed her suspicions. They blamed her. They saw her outburst, and saw her push him to the ground. What they didn’t hear was the actual words. But she doubted that would make a difference.

#johnny smut #johnny scenarios #johnny x reader #johnny drabbles #nct johnny #nct jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun drabbles #nct scenarios #kpop scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 smut #nct 127 #jaehyun x reader #nct #nct smut #jaehyun #johnny #jaehyun x y/n #johnny x y/n #noir au

[hoe4rairai]

This is a little diabolical, but I 100000% believe Raian will fuck you with any weapon he has on hand. Like oh you're needy, here if you want me so bad take this *inserts the hilt of his sword*. And he don't wanna hear any sort of protesting because you *asked* for this, now be quiet before he pulls out his numbchuks-

⚠️ 🔞

He is called the D.E.V.I.L, for a reason .

Raian will sure draw blood from her body and choke her by the neck till she blackout, his hand will firmly cover her mouth while he stretches all her holes and dominating her body like his life is counting on it.

He will enjoy inflicting certain type of pain mixed with pleasure . He, however, will make sure she won't get severely hurt.

The problem is when he's focused on Fuckin her to the ground, he sees her sobbing, begging, loosing her ability to speak coherently, her marked twitching body underneath him is painfully needy for his touch regardless of her state, she is so intoxicated by him, and that gets him harder and rougher.

He will not slow down nor stop until he draws the last ounce of energy from her, he will know when to stop. She might had fainted few times, he wakes her up with either a strong thrust or a slap to her ass or just grabs her wrap her legs around his waist while supporting her head from dangling and goes into a steamy shower only to pound her harder ...

He is unpredictable with what he'll do to her and how far he can go with her but a needy bitch will see the entire milkyway as he drills her mercilessly . He will never hold back if he knows she can handle what he'll do to her.

And with all that being said, he will kiss her or bite her neck while he's pumping his babies into her. And when it's all done, he won't ask if she's okay, but his trained eyes will be on her the next day with a sneaky smirk every time she tries to move.

MADAFAKAAAAA ...

My question, though, how will he handle a softer girl, a princess , so to speak ??? ... hummm

#kenganverse #kengan ashura #kengan omega #kengan ashura imagines #raian kure #kure raian #the devil