Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
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something about fairy godmother!merlin after gudako lets it slip that she thinks cindereli's dress is gorgeous and that she'd love to try it on makes me feral
so of course, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she's in a beautiful castle, in a beautiful dress, staring at the mirror like she can't believe it's actually her
and then comes a knock at the door, and who appears but merlin himself, dressed up and ready to escort her to the ball
and there are tons of people there, mostly background characters with little bearing on her day to day life, but some of them are also the friends and family and classmates she hasn't seen in what feels like years
randomly, servants enter her dream and get put into appropriate costumes. abby and dantes are also there the entire time as bodyguards (abby is her lady in waiting/maid and dantes is her suave mercenary friend, it's in the script that merlin never ends up giving her), mash is there as a princess from a neighboring kingdom, and oberon is ALSO there, he forced himself there because he got no invite and he heard about it from castoria, and kind of miffed he didn't hear about this first because he can also do that. it's very important to him that gudako knows that, even if he'll never do it for her, obviously
she spends the night dancing away (always making sure to check on merlin, though he doesn't dance himself), until the clock hits twelve and merlin spirits her back to a room that looks like chaldea, but there are subtle touches to it that suggest its either OG chaldea or novum chaldea with the things she's missing from her OG room that sion couldn't replicate
and he makes her some hot chocolate, mimicking a certain someone (which causes a brief lull in the conversation after which merlin mocks the man mercilessly, but in a very frenemy way, and it gets a small smile out of her as she tells him not to make fun of the dead, but she's still agreeing with him), and they talk about how fun the night was
until gudako jokes about how she didn't have a prince charming. you can't have fairy tales without prince charming, who is the princess supposed to marry??
they end up debating whether she actually didn't have one or if she just isn't a princess who needs a prince charming right now (gudako rejects the premise that she doesn't want one—why does everyone else get knight kings, she says, pointing at shirou and hakuno for artoria and charlie), and she offhandedly says that if fairy godmothers looked like him, prince charmings would be out of a job
and that—
and that catches him off guard because the very next thing she says is "maybe prince charming was the fairy godmother who helped me along the way"
and he automatically says, "i'm not sure that's how the saying goes, my lord"
but anything else he can say dies in his throat when she stands up and asks him to dance with her and how can he say no when she's smiling at him so brilliantly
"shall we, o' wizard of mine?"
"as my lord commands."
and they live happily ever after
(when morning comes, gudako wakes up to a surprise in her bed. she figures out pretty quickly that he's just pretending to sleep, so she kicks him off her bed.
"my lord is a cruel master," he complains, cuddling her.
after they show up to breakfast like that, gawain straight up asks if she needs him to bail her out and is extremely disappointed when he finds that's not the case.)
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Only God is my Judge in Wayne Manor
Just a little something i’ve been working on, trying to figure out how to write characters you know? DPxDC in which Dani sneaks into the Wayne Manor, half-successfully. EDIT - ao3 link :)
Chapter 1 - Does Janus also work with Windows?
Dani loved to travel. She loved to see places filled with different people, many people, no one at all. It was nice, but it was dangerous. She met all kinds of people, but she was lonely. She could’ve possibly stayed with Fentons, but the paranoia of the boy she was cloned from stayed with her.
Dani traveled alone. And, like always, she was walking along the streets of somewhere dangerous. This place, in particular, was one of the worst places she could be in. A place that was so low in ambient ectoplasm that she wouldn’t be able to go ghost for very long.
Dani was in Gotham. And she was hungry. But she wasn’t dumb enough to try to go ghost and possibly get caught one way or another trying to get something fancy. And she wasn’t desperate enough to break into some rando’s house.
And yet Dani clambered over a fenced wall. It surrounded a manor that was even larger than Vlad’s. Crossing the green fields of grass, silent as a specter, she quickly glanced through the ground floor windows, looking for the kitchen.
A growl was heard. Dani spun around and growled back, purposely making her eyes that signature ghostly green. The dog that was behind her, a brown, muscular guard dog, promptly whimpered and hid his face from the clone.
Dani moved onwards. She was able to find the kitchen, and luckily enough, the window was just ever so cracked open. Opening the window, she slipped inside. She looked around the kitchen quickly, then darted towards the pantry. Food from the pantry usually last longer than food from the fridge.
Dani still went over to the fridge, however. And the fridge had cheese, and she had a mission to take all of the cheese. Cheese never goes bad, only better. That’s what Dani’s mentality was at least.
Halfway through stuffing all the cheese into her bag, she heard an bloodcurdling scream behind her. Whipping her around, she made her eyes the same green from before. She quickly realized her mistake, and her eyes returned back to blue.
But the person saw, the look on their face said it all. They were tall-at least, taller than her-had dark skin and very short hair, much like Tucker, but the first thing that Dani noticed about them was that their eyes had a an odd sheen to them. Dani however, didn’t care to find out why this person’s eyes were like that, as she had better things to do. Like getting out of this manor before she got in any deeper water.
“Thanks for the cheese my friend!” Dani closed the fridge and turned towards the window, only to hear it click and see a butler close it. Said butler was also holding a shotgun, so no one could really blame her for letting out yelp of fear.
“Master Duke, why would did you scream so loudly at a cheese-loving child?” The butler asked. Dani couldn’t help at snicker at her new moniker.
“Her eyes were green,” Duke hissed, voice shaking, confirming the idea that he did in fact see her eyes.
“It appears that they share some similarities with Todd then,” Dani spun around, nearly giving herself whiplash to look at the small child that spoke. The child was holding a fucking sword. Moment by moment, Dani was regretting coming here.
“Well ‘Duke’ here started screaming before I faced him, so do what you will with THAT information,” Dani stated, readjusting her bag nervously, “And what I’m going to do, is get the hell out of here, so if you’ll excuse me-“ Dani took one step towards the window and everyone took one step closer to her.
Dani was fucked. She had no idea how to get out of here without using her ghost powers. She probably could use her powers, but the consequences of using them would absolutely be dreadful.
Dani heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen. Unlike the others, she could actually hear these footstep-except Duke’s footsteps could’ve been heard but she was too invested in thieving food to notice his.
The man that came into the kitchen was large, not as large as Mr. Fenton, but seeing him just made Dani’s heart race.
“Oh fuck this,” Dani muttered, “Can’t a girl just take some food in these dire times?” She took another step towards the window, and everyone took one step closer to her once more, with the child now pointing his sword directly at her neck.
“Damian,” The tall man said, putting his hand on the child’s shoulder. The kid made a ‘tt’ sound and relaxed his stance, just a bit. The man took a small step closer and crouched down to Dani. “You aren’t from Gotham are you?” the man asks, “You don’t have to tell me where your from-“
“Then I don’t need to tell you shit,” Dani hissed, “Maybe I’m not from here, so what? I’m not staying here for long so who cares?” Dani fidgeted with her bag again, a large scowl on her face.
The man, however, had a soft, sympathetic look on his face. Which was a surprise to be sure, since Dani was almost sure this guy owned the manor they were in, so he was obviously very rich. All of the rich people that Dani met were evil so far, so she couldn’t bring herself to trust him in the slightest. He was still probably better than Vlad, although that was a very, very low bar.
“Well then, I’m Bruce Wayne, and this is my manor you broke into,” Dani and Duke both snickered at the straightforward delivery that Bruce spoke in.
“Blame the guy who left the window open,” Dani leaned on a counter, trying to look relaxed as her eyes darted towards as the exits she could see, “So I never really broke in per say, the only crime I committed was theft, theft of food, for I am but a poor, orphan child without a home,” Dani slowly inched her way towards the window as she spoke. Worst comes to worst, she would have to fight the old butler.
The others looked at each other, with both Damian and Duke glaring at Bruce specifically.
“What’s your name?” Bruce asked. Dani hesitated, obviously, why would she tell this random guy who she just broke into the house he lives in her name? But then she noticed something-he was ecto-contaminated. Only slightly, but being ecto-contaminated at all meant that he got exposed to a lot of ectoplasm. And he wasn’t the only one here who was contaminated. The kid was definitely contaminated, and there could be someone else here who was contaminated, but Dani couldn’t tell.
Dani didn’t need answers. But she wanted them. So she’ll play along. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but she was already brought back to life. Well, sorta.
“Dani,”Dani muttered, “My name’s Dani, Dani with an ‘i’ sir.” Dani focused her gaze straight at the window, not wanting to look at anyone else there. There was a long silence, as Dani waited for someone to say something.
“Well, Dani,” Bruce finally spoke up, “Do you need a place to stay?” Dani whipped her head around, definitely giving herself whiplash this time. She then looked quizzically at the old butler, because surely he would have an explanation.
“Master Bruce tries to care for all children,” the butler explained, “he especially has a tendency to care for troublemakers.”
Dani blinked a few times. She absolutely did not want to stay here, not in the slightest, even if they had a lot of food and Bruce seemed nice, she could be compromising everything that Danny tried so hard to keep hidden.
But Dani needed answers. And a bed to sleep on would be nice. Even if it was just for a little while.
“As long as I get free food I’ll do whatever in hell’s name you want Mr. Wayne,” Dani stated, staring confidently at him. Bruce gave her a sad sympathetic look again, with a sad smile to accompany it.
“The only thing I want is to make sure another kid doesn’t have to sleep on the streets tonight,” Bruce said softly. “Alfred, can you prepare one of the spare bedrooms for Dani? And please get rid of the gun.”
The butler nodded, “Will do sir,” he said as he walked out of the kitchen.
“Wait, is she staying?” Duke asked, utter confusion written all over his face.
“Funny, I asked the same thing when you showed up,” Damian remarked.
“Wha-what is that supposed to mean?”
“Boys, be nice,” Bruce scolded them lightly.
“I am being nice father,” Damian defended himself, “But I would like to know why Thomas screamed so loud at this,” he gestured over to Dani, who promptly stuck her tongue out at him.
“Well-I thought she looked kind of like a raccoon okay!” Duke threw his hands in the air in defeat, “It’s like twelve til’!”
Damian made another ’tt’ sound before leaving the kitchen, with Duke himself leaving soon after to got to his room. Dani was quite lost on what to do.
“So…how many people live here?” Dani asked Bruce.
“Well, there’s me for one. Then there’s Duke, Damian, Alfred, and Cass. I have more children who come by every now and again who sometimes bring their friends along,” Bruce responses softly. Dani thought he was trying a bit too hard to get Dani to trust her. Might be her paranoia, or both, she didn’t care.
“Who’s Cass?” Dani asked. She then saw a shadow move out of the corner of her eye, and someone jumped down from the shadows of the cabinets above right in between her and Bruce. Dani yelped and slipped on something on the floor, falling down. Before falling all the way, the person caught her just in time, going on to help her stand back up.
“That, would be Cass,” Bruce sighed, going closer to Dani to check on her. Cass meanwhile had the most guilt-stricken face that Dani had ever seen before. She made her hand into a fist and rubed it in a circular motion across her chest. Dani knew it was sign language but she didn’t know any signs. So she just smiled awkwardly and said a little hi.
“Master Bruce,” Alfred announced, walking back into the kitchen, “Miss Dani’s room is ready.”
“Thank you Alfred,” Bruce straightened up his posture, “Now then, Dani, why don’t you let Alfred show you to your room?”
Dani heaved out a sigh, “Whatever you say Mr. Wayne.” Dani waved goodbye to Cass before making her exit.
“Oh, and can you please give the food you stole back to Alfred?”
“Can I? Yes. Now, will I? No.”
Once Dani had left Bruce turned to Cass, “Cass, inform the rest of the family of Dani’s appearance. And make sure to ask Duke for what he saw exactly when he first came down here,” he whispered, “meet me down in the Batcave at two til’, got it?”
Cass nodded, giving Bruce a thumbs up before setting out. Bruce sighed before checking the contents of the fridge and pantry, almost a quarter of the food was taken from the later, and there being a noticeable absence of cheese from the former. If anything he now had an idea on what to get Dani if she was being too unreasonable. But then again, it’s not like that would be as easy as it sounds.
But it didn’t matter now. What did matter was trying to figure out who-and perhaps even more importantly what-Dani is. And he confident he could do it. After all, he was the world’s greatest detective, Batman.
And Dani was tired. And it was the first time ever since she got away from Vlad that she actually felt somewhat confortable in a manor-and bedroom-of a size like this. But it was surprisingly cozy, and the people here were nice, definitely not normal absolutely not, but neither was she.
Dani slept, and for the first time in a while, she was smiling.
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Joy Mercer and Will Byers are essentially the same character
While looking at the parallels between House of Anubis and Stranger Things, I saw that there are a lot of overarching plot similarities (of course with their numerous differences). However, I couldn't help but notice the striking similarities in the narrative arc of one character in each show: Joy and Will. Almost the exact same thing happens to both of them, and they both follow practically the same plotline for a very large portion of their respective shows. Their respective season 1's are practically copies of each other, with their major differences starting to appear in later seasons when they actually have major screentime. A lot of the differences in their stories are due to their personality differences; as for the plot, they have the exact same role, and follow the same path with a lot of the same consequences.
So I want to break it down and show the parallels side-by-side to really just lay out how much they have in common (because it is a LOT). Here you can see all their equivalent plot points, narrative events, and their almost identical journey.
✨ Heads up: this is going to be a long post ✨
[please click on the photos to see them better]
1. Sudden mysterious disappearance
Both series are kicked off by the same initiating event: a character suddenly mysteriously disappears. We get to see them and establish their friendships for a scene or two before they vanish for the majority of season 1. For both shows, the plotline of the first season revolves around their disappearance. Joy gets kidnapped and hidden by the Society, and Will gets taken into the Upside Down by the Demogorgon, both without a trace.
Additionally: they also might have both been stolen away for a reason, because they were believed to be special. This is true for Joy, as they thought she was the Chosen One. This isn't confirmed yet for Will, but there are a lot of theories that he's got powers too, which is why he was chosen and how he survived the Upside Down and why he can sense the Mind Flayer/Vecna. There's also speculation that that's why he was spared in season 1, because they wanted to use him for a purpose, like the Society was planning to use Joy for a purpose.
2. Cover-up conspiracy of their disappearance
Both disappearances are covered up by secret organizations (the Society; Hawkins Lab) in order to hide a conspiracy. Joy's records are scrubbed and her social media deleted to try and erase her from existence, as well as fake correspondence sent to her friends in order to stop them from sniffing around and discovering the immortality cult, and perhaps even forget about her entirely. Hawkins Lab also tries to cover up Will's disappearance by producing a fake dead body and making it look like he died so that no one would come looking for him anymore and no one would stumble upon what was happening in the Lab.
3. Their best friend refuses to believe that they're gone and relentlessly looks for them
Both Joy and Will have a best friend who will stop at nothing to find them once they realize they've disappeared. In fact, their unrelenting search becomes one of the major plotlines of their respective season 1's. Both Patricia and Mike refuse to believe there's anything normal going on, and they refuse to stop looking or believe their friend is gone, despite the evidence to the contrary, and despite people telling them to stop. When the people in charge (the teachers, the government) try and get them to stop, they don't. Even when their other friends think it's useless, they never stop believing, to the point where just about everyone else thinks they're crazy.
Regardless, they never give up, even if they get involved in supernatural/otherworldly activities along the way.
4. Messages from beyond
While missing, both Will and Joy are able to communicate and get messages out to their family and friends, who are able to use it to help find them. Joy sends a coded message to Patricia (and eventually just texts her), and Will communicates with Joyce using the lights, along with the phone and radio. (Bonus points for the fake mirror message from "Joy" aka Alfie.)
5. A "girl with powers" coincidentally shows up right after they disappear
It feels very notable that almost immediately after they disappear, someone new shows up. And not just anyone: someone special, someone with some form of powers. Nina is the Chosen One, and Eleven has psychic abilities. It's almost too convenient how quickly these girls show up after they disappear. Almost like they're there to replace them (but not actually). And both girls are there to help solve the disappearance and save the day, both of which would not happen without them. The biggest difference in these shows with regards to the girl with powers is that the best friend (Mike) and most of the group embrace Eleven right away, while the best friend (Patricia) and most of the group shun Nina at first.
6. When they return, they're not the same
Both Will and Joy return for good in season 2, but as noted by the other characters, they're not the same. They go through major personality changes. Joy is a lot more guarded, harsh, and mean than her past self, for reasons we'll get into later. In her isolation, she also lost some of the bubbliness we see in the pilot episode, and she becomes rather withdrawn. The same goes for Will, who is even more quiet and withdrawn than before. He also has the unfortunate side effect of literally having pieces of the Upside Down within him, making the "not the same" comments more literal. Still waiting for Will to have his true angry arc like Joy had tho.
7. Their love interest is now dating the girl with powers
When they do return, they find out that something happened while they were gone: specifically, that their love interest got away. Both love interests become romantically involved with and eventually date the girl with powers, who had "replaced" them. So, not only were their love interests dating someone, but they're dating someone new and unfamiliar to Joy and Will. This leaves both of them pining for someone they can no longer have.
In Will's case, the best friend and the love interest are the same person, making it a double whammy for him.
8. Feelings of being replaced and others moving on without them
Both Will and Joy changed because of their experience, but everything else changed, too. After returning, they have to come back and try and find their place again in a group that has changed and maybe moved on without them. They expected it to remain the same as when they last saw it, but it's not anymore. Both of them are experiencing feelings of being replaced in their friend circles, particularly by the girl with powers, who showed up to fill their space while they were gone. This results in both of them fearing that their friends don't need or want them anymore. Joy, who is not a member of Sibuna, feels excluded, and feels that Nina is stealing her friends and taking what is rightfully hers. Will, while still a full member of the Party, also feels excluded and feels that Eleven and Max are stealing the attention of his friends (Mike and Lucas) away from him and the group, as they're acting like couples and he is obviously not part of one due to the fact that he's gay, even though no one knows this. Both Joy and Will feel "othered" and excluded. They're growing apart from their best friend and can no longer have their love interest (though for Will, this is the same person). They just want to go back to the way things were, even though that's not really possible anymore.
In their minds, they have someone they can blame for part of this change, someone they can point to: the girl with powers, who's throwing a wrench in everything (though Will also throws a tiny little bit of blame on Max, who's also new to the group, but most goes to Eleven because he is focused on Mike, the best friend/love interest). They each react to this situation differently, mainly because Joy hates Nina and Will likes Eleven (and eventually becomes a brother figure to her). Joy tries to actively do something about it and remove the "problem" while Will is passive, preferring to fade into the background or even just take himself out of the equation if anything.
9. Lashing out
All of these frustrations eventually lead to Joy and Will lashing out, albeit in very different ways. Joy writes a nasty, defamatory article about Nina with the intent to hurt her, ultimately hoping it will remove her from her life and eliminate her problems, even though it ends up backfiring on her big time. Will, on the other hand, goes into a rage and destroys Castle Byers, the fort he and his brother made when he was a kid. Joy lashes out to hurt others like they hurt her; Will keeps it to himself, and instead of punishing his friends he punishes himself to compound the hurt. Castle Byers is a representation of his friendships and his childhood, so he gets out his frustrations about his situation and about growing up that way. His lashing out is more symbolic, as he's not intending to make any active change like Joy is. But do their actions make either of them feel better? No. Because it doesn't change anything, and it just leads to tears.
10. Lasting trauma
As expected, they both have a whole boatload of trauma. Joy is still clearly traumatized by her experience, though less obviously than Will who can still physically see the Upside Down. Joy is hesitant to return to Sibuna activities, and robes are a trigger for her, as seen in the above photo. And I don't feel like I need to say much for Will, that boy is constantly being terrorized by the Upside Down, particularly in season 2 but he can still sense stuff in seasons 3 and 4 as well.
11. Almost die to supernatural causes and have to be revived
Save for some notable exceptions (ex. Max, Eddies plural), Joy and Will are the only kids in their respective shows that were seriously close to actually dying. Joy might've actually died, I'm a little fuzzy on that; either way, she was brought back to life with the Tears of Gold. Unsure if Will officially died, but he did have to be resuscitated by Hopper and Joyce. Both of them had a very very close brush with death due to supernatural forces (Senkhara, Upside Down), which is the last parallel I'm going to use to bond them together.
Now, I'm sure I could make more points and bring up more similarities. But Will's story isn't done yet, and I want to see what happens in Stranger Things 5 before I compare to Joy's healing and journey in the latter stages of HOA season 3. So, up to this point, I rest my case.
Joy Mercer 🤝 Will Byers = the same
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