#maybe ill show this to my therapist :D

[mar-im-o]

#passive influence #idk why talking in tags feels safer than talking in the caption #but anyways #idk #wren was in cocon for a while #and ig like #we made this? #idk ive got a lot going on atm and it's #confusing #but sometimes i need reassurances that I'm not screwing this all up #so i figured maybe other ppl need that too? #maybe ill make more like this #was like #a good way to finally face my fear and try comics #but also i hate making content about DID bc i dont want it to seem like attention seeking #maybe ill show this to my therapist :D #yeah #actually DID #DID #OSDD #systemblr #didblr

[thekoopalingsandstuffs]

When was spewart diagnosed with cvs and ptsd?

When did hariet get her epilepsy and menstrual problems diagnosis?

And toppers oab/asthma?

Rango doesn't seem to have anything so uh...good job!

Spewart: "Good question... I got diagnosed with PTSD very recently by my therapist. It's not just from one event, but rather a collection of different traumatic things I've experienced in my life that continues to grow. Dr. Twila is not actually 100% sure I have it, though... "Fairly certain, but not absolute." I don't take meds for it, minus my antidepressants... And I've been to the psyche ward a couple of times throughout my life... Um... As for my CVS... That's more of a self-diagnosis that I got a doctor to agree with. I didn't puke that much when I was younger... Only on car rides n' stuff. But I'd say about four years ago, I started getting sick all the time. Once a week, I'd get out of school for a vomiting episode. If I ate something slightly too greasy, spicy, or with a little too much dairy, I'd vomit everything back up. And sometimes, I throw up, just, because. Not much is known about CVS, so there's not much I can do minus take a bunch of Pepto Bismol before I eat. Which, rarely does anything... All of us have TONS of medical issues, varying in severity. I assume you just picked the two we're most known for...? Well, thank you, Anon! We don't get to really talk about our issues often." :3

Hariet: "I don't remember it, but when I was in, maybe, the fourth grade... I sat down to watch a new TV show that had come out. Not sure what it was, but it had flashing lights and crazy sounds and things like that... Well, one of my brothers found me, on the floor, twitching, pupils dilated, frothing at the mouth, unresponsive... I got taken to the hospital, my family was informed that I had had a seizure, and later got diagnosed with epilepsy the same week, when I had another seizure, attempting to watch the show again. As for my menstrual stuff... For those who don't know, I got my first period when I was seven, which is... Not normal! And I get LOTS of pain, LOTS of blood, and it lasts for a LONG time. Still not normal!! I got a uterine scan in the seventh grade... I'm not sure exactly what was found, but I have some kind of deformity in my uterus that's causing abnormal periods. And also, I CAN get impregnated, but it's unlikely the fetus will survive... I am... Scared to try birth control, and I have hope that maybe this issue will go away on its own eventually, so I just have to DEAL WITH IT."

Topper: "I think I got diagnosed with asthma in the beginning of middle school... There's multiple potential causes for it—Living in foster homes with smokers, getting choked in fights a lot, allergies, air pollution, moldy rooms, simple genetics, etcetera. There was cause for concern when I suddenly started struggling to breathe and almost passed out in gym class one day. Been needing an inhaler on me at all times since. Okay, and I've always had OAB, ever since I was a baby but never got it officially diagnosed until VERY recently. As a kid, most of my foster parents assumed that my accidents were from me being irresponsible, not listening to my body, and intentionally holding until the last minute. It couldn't possibly be not my fault! And the ones that did know something was wrong with me never took me to the doctor; They gave me diapers and called it a day. Thankfully, my issues are WAY less bad than they used to be. But one day, I got curious, Googled my symptoms, took them to a doctor, and sure enough! I officially got an OverActive Bladder! Yay me?"

Rango: :D

Yeah, unless you count Rango's ADD and lack of arm, he has not much going on compared to his siblings. But, of course, there is that "mystery illness" he's dealing with~... I also headcanon that Rango had a shitty immune system & got sick a lot as a child to make up for his lack of serious problems.

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓ daily click for palestine ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

☆profile picture by @piki-miki !!☆

ok tldr: this is my main blog but the rick and morty hyperfixation hit hard so that's most of what i post. there's other fandoms too, just not as often. as for non fandom things ive got queer, leftist, neurodivergent, mental illness shit as well as random memes/shitposts/etc that i find funny.

i tag posts with [media] [character] [ship] and relevant attributes like autistic [character] or trans [character]. totally ask if you want me to tag something, but at the moment i don't trigger tag anything consistently. so uh blanket content warning for this blog (and a list of fandoms and some stuff about me) under the cut.

content warning: nothing extreme enough to piss off tumblr, but there is very suggestive art and general "horny about that old man" vibes. slurs like f*****, d***, t*****, and r*******, and maybe others that i don't remember. discussions or depictions of homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, ableism, racism, classism, possibly some other bigotries that im not thinking of. canon typical content (like gore, death, probably some in poor taste jokes coming from rnm). loads loads loads of mental health things, suicide, self harm, smoking/drinking/drug use and addiction, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, ocd, adhd, autism, overstimulation, meltdowns, dissociation, gender dysphoria

basically i think the content warning can be boiled down to this: anything that happens in rick and morty, bojack horseman, or disco elysium can show up on this blog.

i do not ship rick and morty together but a lot of ship art just looks like regular fanart if you don't know any better so it's possible that ive reblogged something r1ck0rty before without realizing.

i do ship jerrick and rickcest and like to reblog that kind of ship art. i don't consider those ships to be incestuous but i know some people do so i figured id give you a heads up.

☆fandoms in varying degrees of frequency☆

~smiling friends~

~rick and morty~

~cyberpunk 2077~

~king of the hill~

~disco elysium~

~gravity falls~

~seinfeld~

~bob's burgers~

~solar opposites~

~bojack horseman~

☆about me☆

im 21, autistic, and very mentally unwell.

ive got a long time special interest in cats.

big fan of caffeine, nicotine and weed. love me some substances but my stomach is so sensitive that getting drunk and especially getting hungover feels like the whole ass organ is trying to die and take me down with it.

pretty much as far left as you can get without actually reading theory or doing anything lol. i spend every day rotting in bed so im not exactly out there fighting the system.

very queer. bi or pan, idrk which but that doesn't matter to me personally. im whichever one i need to be at any given moment to piss off people saying dumb shit like "bisexuals don't date enbies" or "pansexuality isn't real" or whatever.

a lot of labels fit my gender. im a male-ish, demiboy, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, transmasc with an interest in more obscure identities that the internet circa 2016 had me shying away from.

as of february 2024 im 3 years on t!

but yeah, that's all i got for now. asks and dms are open, you're welcome to just drop in my messages and start talking about rnm or whatever. im no therapist but if you need someone to listen or commiserate in mentally ill solidarity, im here.

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

[wooahaes]

dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

#wooahaes.ask #wooahaes.askgame #sweetteawithpeach #death tw #sorry this one is longer lol im admittedly a sucker for a soulmate au

[nonclassyparty]

ur really good at breaking hearts aren’t you ;-;

the series was so good, def a recommend. THE WAY YOU PORTRAYED EACH RELATIONSHIP WAS TOP NOTCH CUS LIKE THE WRITING WAS CHEFS KISS

ranting time :D

even if yunho apologized, i won’t forgive him for literally rebounding w y/n. like, your first LOVE??? a REBOUND??? WTF MAN. that’s fucked up, and i’m not taking any apologies cus that’s just not right. although at first they were like my otp for this series, that little illusion of a fantasy faded away so quickly after the rebound sex.

next up is yeosang. first of all, although he was a fuckboy, my bby didn’t get enough appearances throughout the story ;-;. i really wanted to see how he contributed to y/n throughout her life, but tbh he just seemed like a good fuck to her and she just left him cus y/n just didn’t want to become attached, which is understandable, but still, no mentions of yeo further on in the story??? :(

HONGJOONG. MY BOY. caught up in the classic at the grocery store. ILL GIVE YOU THE LOVE YOU NEED BBY ;-; honestly i felt bad cus of what he went through, and i felt like he genuinely liked y/n, but was a bit of a pussy to actually tell her, since it seemed like a fling if you think abt it. uk, going on a trip w friends, hooking up, developing some sort of an affectionate relationship only to come back and realize it was just a trip where it all happened. if hongjoong made a move, then i feel like they would’ve been a cute couple, since y/n did show some mixed signals at that time tbh.

seonghwa, you may be my ultimate bias, but never have i ever hated you so much in a fanfiction. AND AUTHOR I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE ME HATE ON THE PARK SEONGHWA. ofc, that rich boy aura is what i mainly hated, but the fact that he went so shallow to degrade her like that?? man wtf. who r u to think that she’s just some basic bitch. maybe if you were genuinely interested and wanted to get to know her better, then you would’ve acc fuckin done things that she likes. she obviously said she doesn’t like the parties, so wHY TF R U FORCING HER TO GO. IN THAT MEANTIME YOU COULD LIKE WATCH HER FAVOURITE MOVIE TOGETHER OR SUCH IDK CUDDLE AND BE A COUPLE. But NOOOOOOOO MY FRIENDS THIS MY FRIENDS THAT 🙃. like man shut the actual fuck up cus i don’t give a flying fuck abt your rich snobby friends. but at least she got humbled so ig thanks for that…🤷‍♀️

WOOYOUNG. my GOD wooyoung. another otp, and i STILL stand by that. wooyoung did not deserve that, and ik you all agree. he gave her all she wanted, and so did she to him. and i get that the past events that happened to her might’ve made her paranoid. but i feel like the more mature thing to have done was like talk it out w him. she could’ve just told him that she feels like she’s boring to him or smth idk. remember y’all, the most important thing in a relationship is COMMUNICATION. if she actually VOICED OUT what she felt, then wooyoung would’ve definitely been a sweetheart and helped her out with her worries, and i feel like he would’ve been the best husband to her. but, life goes on, and i’m happy that he found another girl after y/n broke up with him. still salty abt it though >:(

choi jongho. definition: deeeefinitely a parasite in this series. don’t get me wrong, i love him sm, but like using y/n for grades n shit? (ignoring the fact that i’m lowkey forgetting what happened in the part). seokjin, my man, if i were in this story, i would’ve kissed you so many times. this man killed it, and i love how even the fuckin therapist couldn’t take y/n’s ‘but he’s my friend’ bullshit. so what? he’s your friend? fuck that shit i’d drop him the moment i realized he’s using me for notes. right then and there.

if i were to be honest, my toxic trait is loving someone too much to even have the strength to leave them, and if i were in y/n’s position, i would’ve stayed with mingi. which i know, is such a BIG red flag flying around IN MY FACE. mingi was such a sweetheart, and truly actually loved y/n, but the fact that he still went behind her back for NINE FUCKING MONTHS to FUCK HIS EX??? that’s a bit…ugh. moving on…

i would never rant abt choi san in this series, so i’m gonna praise him. but like imagine, the man who offered your first crush a blunt would be the very man you marry and have kids with. i find that so funny and sweet. i had a feeling from the beginning of the story that san would somehow play a major role in this series, and when he encouraged y/n to confess to yunho, i had a bit of a hunch, since he did seem a bit more playful and like kinda weird from then. when he yelled at jongho for talking shit abt y/n, i knew right then and there, yep he’s the one. he’s the one that y/n will marry.

but anyways in conclusion, i’m convinced that if y/n went lesbian, then this bullshit wouldn’t have happened. /j

woah, this message was a read thank you for the ranting time, i loved reading it but the part with san being the guy who offered her first crush a blunt ending up the guy she marries made me bust out in laughter bc i completely forgot about that 😭 😭

[bloodmoonobsessed]

I’m just gonna do all of them now!

1. Anorexia Binge Purge Subtype

2. I’ve had disordered eating since I was a kid but I developed my specific ED in 2019.

3. I was sexually harassed by men at work (Thats right I said MEN multiple…)

4. I noticed things going south in January 2020

5. I joined EDTWT in jan 2020

6. My nutritionist supports me most.

7. Fear foods are pizza, fries, and chips!

8. I hope to beat my fear foods… For real…..

9. I think this question means to ask How I show symptoms??? Maybe? Uhh I used to excuse myself to vomit my food.

10. No one noticed I told people.

11. My mom doesn’t think I have restrictive ED so She doesn’t worry. My friends do.

12. 0 inpatient stays. But I have an ED therapist I see weekly and a nutritionist.

13. N/A

14. Puking every meal, to the point I’d vomit 50-90 times a day.

15. Yes, I started from a higher weight so I never got to a low LW, But I lost 100 lbs…

16. Biggest fear is gaining weight even though nothing is wrong with being fat. And I’m trying to lose weight and I’m kinda relapsing but trying to eat over 1100 calories But its HARD!!

17. See above…

18. Being sexually harassed. At my lowest weight I never got sexually harassed. I only notice it when I was heavier I think because I had H cups and it shrunk to a B/C… I dunno though. That’s kinda putting blame on me but men really love big boobs I hate it. I’m a D cup right now 😭

19. I started recovery by contacting a nutritionist.

20. I started recovering for real in June of last year… But it’s rocky…

21. Spaghetti/Noodles in general!!

22. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD IS ROCKY!!!!!!

23. I’ve always loved food, from the time I’d eat in secret at 7 to now… I love it (I hate it too)

24. Yes I count calories……… My nutritionist doesn’t want me to

25. I don’t understand this question.

26. I don’t have one… MYSELF!!!

27. Professionally diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar 1, and GAD. (As well as ADHD but thats not mental illness)

28. No but I eat less meat than I did as a kid…

29. I take Prescription meds like Spironolactone and Straterra

30. Kinda yes but kinda wanna get worse? I dunno… My brain is at crossroads.

[vagueandominousvibes]

I've seen a number of posts the last couple of days about Tumblr etiquette. One of them talked about how you can add tags for organisational purposes, or even write out your thoughts in a small informal essay in the tags

And while this is all well and good, I haven't seen anyone really talk about how reblogs — especially reblogs with tags — could make someone's day, even if you're literally just yelling that you love something or agree with something in the tags? how it helps create the community we have? how it literally makes us feel less isolated because there's a social interaction taking place?

I just ...

Maybe it's just me, but give me a moment to talk about my experience here (the next paragraph is context, and it's rough, so please heed the content warnings — if you want to skip the entire section about my own experiences, scroll down to the next paragraph break marked by one dot)

.

A couple of months before Christmas last year, my mum yelled at me when I came out to her. She told me I'm not mature enough to make that decision (I'll be 24 this year, and haven't lived at home in almost eight years). She started suggesting corrective therapy. I spent a little over a week so ill I couldn't leave my bed for more than a few minutes, and only had food because one of my flatmates offered to get me a bag of crisps and some crackers. Then my back gave in. I didn't have the brain power to get properly involved in my D&D group, much less work on my written projects. None of my friends live in the area, and I don't want to always talk about the negative stuff in my life when I talk to them online, so I don't bring it up unless they ask. Twice my thoughts spiralled into a black hole of "I don't want to do any of this anymore". When I reached out to my therapist, they told me they were on leave and couldn't help me. I felt so very alone, and I was having an awful time

But I could draw stuff

I've always wanted to create something that could bring other people joy, and because drawing was one of the few things keeping me afloat, I shared it. I didn't expect a lot of people to enjoy it. I didn't even expect people to find it. But a few did, and they reblogged with tags — tags that I re-read several times a day, because they showed I'd made someone happy with what made me happy

They weren't necessarily substantial or deep, but they responded. They interacted. None of the people who reblogged with tags had any idea what was going on behind the scenes, but those few lines — those little comments pointing out something they like or how it made them feel — they brought me so much joy

I just ... look at these:

Maybe it's weird, but I read every single tag. The longer ones — the ones that remind me that there's a random stranger out there that I gave a little joy, simply by doing something I enjoy — those, I print and stick up on a board over my bed, because they got me through a rough patch and mean so very much to me

.

Maybe I'm being sentimental, but my point about all of this is that there's a community here. A vibrant one, made up of people with ridiculously niche interests who want to share those interests — who want to find joy in those interests

I explained the appeal of it to my partner over text a while ago, and said: "[...] we're aware that we're playing up to social expectations most of the time in everyday life situations, and Tumblr becomes a space where we can strip those expectations away (or at least acknowledge that we're being shaped by them) and engage with each other on different terms to how we would engage elsewhere"

It's a space built on support, self-expression, and sharing joy, and this is so important to keep in mind

The way we maintain this is through reblogs and tags. Of course, we can send asks and messages too, but many of us feel too shy or awkward to talk to a stranger directly — especially if it's someone whose content we look at and think something along the lines of, "Wow, they must be such an accomplished human being and I kneel in the dust before them". I know I often feel that way about some of the people I follow

Tags become the next viable option for communication and appreciation, and, at least to me, it's like receiving little love notes under the door

I don't know if it's the same for all content creators (or rebloggers), but your tags could literally make a random person online stupidly happy and less isolated, and give them the strength they need to hold on just a little longer

.

NOTE: I'm not saying you have to tag. I'm not saying you have to reblog. Half the time, I myself only use organisational tags. Occasionally, I forget to tag. I'm still figuring out how to organise my blog. And that's ok — I'm not trying to make a point about whether there's any moral or ethical duty involved here. What I am trying to say, is that the way social interactions work here is so important to the way this space functions as a community, and that it can and does affect our everyday lives

#kalh is on the loose #i have a lot of feelings about this topic #personal #cw queerphobia #cw depression #cw sui thoughts #cw illness #help this got long

[kdramaxoxo]

Lately I've been into older dramas. When I say old, I really just mean a few years old. To me, all dramas before like 2017 look super old and they have a very different vibe to me. I rewatched Marriage, Not Dating (2014) and I loved it even more the second time. Now I'm watching My Princess (2011). Do you have any favorites that are a bit older? Stuff like those shows I mentioned, 2 Outs in the 9th Inning, My Lovely Sam Soon, You Who Came From the Stars, Me Too Flower, etc. Heartstrings and You're Beautiful would also fit I think.

I'm just in a mood for that older style from before the more modern dramas.

I kinda know what you mean about “older” dramas from like 2011-2016? They’re a bit more fairytale like, a bit more trope-y in an over the top kind of way. They have the mean parents, the chaebols, the over the top characters... 

Older K-Dramas 2007-2014 that I personally like ;-)

Coffee Prince: This is probably my very favorite older k-drama but also? It’s in my top 10 now because it’s just that good. Gender-bending, gay angst but also? It has a really unique vibe that’s totally it’s own and the chemistry!!!

The Master’s Sun: We have ourselves another chaebol here but he is so much fun to watch. A girl who is tormented by ghosts realizes he is her good luck charm and starts following him around much to his dismay. So Ji Sub and Gong Hyo Jin are amazing together!! She is just the best character.

It’s Okay That’s Love: A romance about a psychiatrist with a handsome lady’s man author. It deals with mental health and does a pretty descent job for a k-drama of 2014. It’s one of my favorite dramas for sure - I highly recommend everyone watch this one.

Queen In Hyun’s Man: I LOVE this adorable fantasy drama about an actress who falls in love with a man from historical times. It’s seriously cute and the chemistry is excellent. Maybe it’s time for a rewatch actually. 

Ho Goo’s Love: Y’all know I love this slice of life drama about a guy who’s in love with a girl who has an unwanted pregnancy. For how old it is it tackles some really difficult topics and almost does a good job with them. It’s funny, heartfelt and just a really great underrated drama.

King2Hearts: This drama is CRAZY. I actually think everyone should watch it so that we can all talk about it ;-) A prince falls in love with a north korean soldier. It’s very makjang in a lot of ways and the villain is the most bonkers villain in a kdrama I’ve EVER seen. This is the drama that made me really love Lee Seung Gi.

Secret Love Affair: This is an intense noona romance with tons of chemistry. It’s beautiful and unique but very stressful. The chemistry is OFF THE CHARTS.

Witch’s Romance: A super cute rom com noona romance about a successful editor (I think - it’s been a while) and a 25 year old jack of all trades (Park Seo Joon!) Their kiss!! Just watch it :D

Healer: You all know how much I love Healer. I mean LOVE. Soft and sweet super hero teams up with sassy reporter to figure out the mysteries of their past. THIS IS ROMANCE you guys. THIS IS THE ONE.

Flower Boy Next Door: A fun loving guy falls for an agoraphobic woman and tries to get her to explore the outside world. He’s SO CUTE and funny (Yoon Shi Yoon) and it was a pretty adorable show. There is a love triangle and some classic mean girl stuff but again, we are dealing with older dramas. 

Heart To Heart: A therapist helps a girl with a blushing illness but then falls for her. This rom com has definite ethical issues but the couple was so cute together it helps me get through those parts. 

Hello Monster: Amazing psychological thriller that asks “what makes a person a monster?” It’s got an amazing cast and it’s super well written.

Boys Over Flowers: Listen - I KNOW this show is trash. But it’s it’s very own special kind of trash. The kind that takes an innocent watcher of regular TV and converts them into loving K-dramas. True story. It’s SUPER trope-y, has very questionable relationships and plot situations but like, to me it FEELS like that perfectly ridiculous type of k-drama that everyone should watch once. Just lower your bar and turn your brain off #F4

City Hunter: While I’m not super into the cold male lead thing, that’s a super popular “type” in older dramas. City Hunter is one of those super fun action-y classics in the vein of “Healer” but older. 

You Who Came From The Stars: You mentioned this one so I’ll just say that I LOVE Jun Ji Hyun and this is your classic cold male lead with sassy female trope. It does have a frustrating love triangle but like 90 percent of dramas before 2017 have them so...

#kdrama #kdrama recommendations #older kdramas #listen i wouldnt stand for 1/2 of these tropes nowadays #but they work in the older ones because they are of their time if that makes sense #ask #answer #i need to watch lovely sam soong

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 11: 7x02

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

September 30, 2021

7x02: Hello, Cruel World

Written by: Ben Edlund

Directed by: Guy Bee

Original air date: September 30, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

The leviathans destroy Castiel's body and break loose. Now Sam, Dean, and Bobby have to track them all down. Meanwhile, Sam is beginning to struggle with what is real and what is a hallucination.

Features:

Cas walks into the reservoir, Dean holding the trenchcoat like a war widow, more Lucifer hallucinations, finally an episode for the Samgirls, Bobby is a good dad and also capable of performing an autopsy, the indestructibility of leviathans.

My Thoughts:

Half of the effects in this episode are really cool and the other half are incredibly, atrociously bad. I love the black goo dripping off Cas’ fingers and down his face, it is so gross and so ominous and so good. The reveal of the Leviathan mouths though….. Just the worst cgi I’ve ever seen on this show, and there’s a fair amount of bad cgi on Supernatural.

The disappointing thing is that even without enough lead up on the leviathans as a monster (see my thoughts on what would happen this season in the secret good supernatural here), they’re a really cool monster until you see the bad mouths. The ability to infect people via dark clouds in the local water supply (hello, Dead in the Water parallel) and to blend in based on the knowledge of their host body (vessel?) is really cool! The blood splatter was a bit overdone, but it was in a fun way and definitely showed how lethal they are. And then the mouths appear and I completely lose the ability to take them seriously. Also, what a bummer that the one leviathan didn’t stay in the little girl. I love when the monsters are creepy little kids.

This episode gets a bump in my rating because I love watching Dean pick Cas’ coat out of the water and fold it up like a war widow with a flag while he says “dumb son of a bitch” in the shakiest little voice. Makes me sad in a way that is also somehow over the moon.

The Lucifer hallucinations ramp up in this episode and I love them, personally. Unreality plot lines are so fun and I think this one is really well done, even though I wish it ramped up a bit slower. This is my complaint for basically this entire season, can you tell that I love a slow burn? Anyways, I think the scene where Sam is talking to Dean and Bobby about his hallucinations and Lucifer is chiming in rules. It’s just good storytelling! Also very much enjoyed one of the later Lucifer hallucination scenes when Sam is in the kitchen and Lucifer is in the living room, and has red rim lighting along one side of his body the same way Sam does in the season 4 premiere. Good shit.

Do we ever get an explanation about what happens to the original hosts of the leviathans? Like once they’re in a human body they can shapeshift (but NOT in a cool way by ripping off their skin like the original shifters), so when does the soul of the host leave the body? This will never be answered.

If anyone else was curious, I looked up what “5150’d” means (Sam says, “Look, Bobby’s running the hub, I’m – I’m 5150’d, which leaves you to follow this thing up”), and it’s the number of the section of the Welfare and Institutions Code, which allows a person with a mental illness to be involuntarily detained for a 72-hour psychiatric hospitalization.

I do like that Sam and Dean get a chance to talk about their respective Hell-trauma finally, but if I’m remembering right it doesn’t really go much deeper than what we see in this episode, which does bum me out in a big way. Unpack your mental issues! Try and get better! These boys need a therapist (and medication probably wouldn’t hurt, Sam).

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You think this fruit-bat fever dream is reality? You come back, I'm sorry, with no soul like some peppy American Psycho, till Saint Dean glues you back together again by buying you some magic amnesia. You’re real. I’m very real. Everything between is what we call set dressing.”

“It had to be a mess, Sam, or you wouldn’t believe it was your life.”

“You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.”

“Now we’re getting there. Pinocchio’s seeing his strings.”

“Hey, so maybe I’m not real. Nobody’s perfect. And I’m not going anywhere, Sam.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.5

IMdB rating: 8.5

In Conclusion: Tomorrow is The End, one of my all-time favourite episodes! Get excited!

Also, if you’re in Canada, happy first ever National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. My trash province won’t recognize it but my not-trash employer thankfully will.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

#Stackednatural #supernatural #spn #7x02 #Hello Cruel World #any spn episode with a comma in the title is targeting me personally

[musaics]

So I work in community mental health and it’s honestly it’s own version of Hell.  It’s unfortunate because most of these people really, really need the mental health help because they are either A) a minority B) live below poverty level C) Involved in the legal system D) also struggle with substance use or E) all of the above. 

What’s Hellish about it is that these people are often hard to reach because they have, understandably, more pressing issues than their mental health (ie employment, housing, staying out of legal trouble, etc) but my employers do not care. It’s about productivity and not quality of care. 

They don’t care if I’m making excellent progress with a good handful of folks, that my groups are really successful and people enjoy them, what they care about is that I’ve had a lot of no-shows because, again, these people need their basic needs met before they can work on their mental health, so they don’t always show. “Why are you having so many no-shows? Why aren’t these people coming? We need to get your billable hours up.”  Maybe its because it’s 95 degrees out and its too hot for people w/ no cars to walk to the office!! Or that they are homeless and need to find housing!! Or employment!!

Anyway, on to my point: My workplace cannot keep employees. I’ve been here for ~10 months and we’ve cycled through... 4 therapists, I think? Because therapists are expected to do backflips to get clients that do not want to attend, to attend.  We’re supposed to have caseloads of 30 but we’ve got average caseloads of 100. We’re overworked, we’re not praised for our efforts, and our administration staff is super negative and talk shit on severely mentally ill clients.  It’s fucked. 

Oh sorry, did I say we cycled through 4 therapists? I meant 5- Another resigned today.  And I’m the only therapist left.  And me, with my caseload of 100, am supposed to find room for the 100+ folks that clinician had on her caseload.  Incredible! Amazing! Can’t wait! 

But I guess this is a great opportunity for me to say “No, I can’t do this. You’re going to have to refer people out.” Because they can’t fire me bc they’ll have zero therapists left lmao.  So at least there’s that.  

I’m not staying here forever. I’m a provisionally licensed therapist (I’ve gotta get 3,000 therapeutic/clinical hours- It’s like residency for therapists essentially) and once I meet all of my requirements to be fully licensed, I’m outta here. Once I’m fully licensed, a lot more doors will open for me. 

ok thanks thats it.

#vent #rant #tbd #its about work

[a-court-of-healing]

Loving You Through it chapter 2 Jace Herondale x Reader

Disclaimer: I don’t own the mortal instruments or the gifs

Trigger warning: mentions of cutting, sexual abuse, sexual assault, ptsd, and depression

Y/N POV

Dean has been the best parabatai ever. You met Dean when you were 12 and just got your marks. He just turned 17 and he was looking for someone to be his parabatai. He entered the training room when you were there, and he saw you take on people who were older, wiser, and more trained. You learned from a young age it was either fight, flight, or freeze. For your father, it was always freeze. For most other men it was fight, but for emotions it was run. Dean was impressed and he liked the idea of being older and being a mentor to someone younger. You were honored, because honestly, Dean was a) hot b) a good fighter and c) a good friend. He knew all of your problems, the depression, ptsd, and cutting. He knew your history, but he trusted you completely. He knows that you would die for him in a heartbeat. He knows how much you love Jace, and he keeps trying to get you to tell him and to let him in, but it’s not that easy.

“Why don’t you explain it to him? You know he will be there for you! He loves you, Y/N!” Dean explains as he sits next to you. You shake your head and sigh. 

“Because Dean...what if he…you...abandon me? I don’t think I can survive that…” You have this habit of picking your fingers, even to the point where it bleeds. Dean looked at your hands and poked you. 

“Stop, stop worrying. I see the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you are the star of his world and he can’t survive without you. He won’t leave you because you have had a hard life and you have mental illnesses. That just isn’t like him.” You looked away and stood up and looked out the window. Dean makes it sound like it’s perfectly normal to be the way you are, and it will be so easy to talk about everything to Jace. You barely told Dean. You only told him because you thought as your parabatai he didn’t have a choice but to stay. 

“Have you talked to Dustin about this?” Dustin was your therapist. He was a really great man. You usually hate men and don’t trust them, but you were researching therapists and he was known for working with people like you with PTSD and people who have been abused. I shook my head and then somewhat nod my head. 

“Kinda...I mentioned how I was scared and the memories. Dean these flashbacks make life hell. I can’t stop thinking that either he’ll leave me...or he just wants me for sex...or maybe he’ll abuse me too....” Dean was listening and nodding. 

“Have you thought about talking to Alec about Jace? I mean, he knows him better than just about anyone. He could help ease your mind.” It was a really good idea. You loved Alec and Isabelle. They were like your brother and sister. You also love Magnus and Simon because they made them happy. Alec and Magnus were the cutest couple ever. Magnus is like your bisexual best friend. He’s been through hell as well and it’s like you both can tell what hell you’ve been through. 

“That sounds like a good idea...I think I’m going to message him...you don’t think he’ll tell…” 

“No...that isn’t like Alec and you know it. He wouldn’t tell unless you want him too. Magnus won’t tell either. It might hurt Jace though that you went to Alec...I mean you can tell your story to whoever you deem trustworthy.” Dean’s phone started ringing and it stopped my train of thought. 

“Oh speak of the devil. It’s Alec. Here, see what he wants.” He tosses you his phone and starts cleaning up his room. 

“Hello? Dean’s phone.” 

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’m here with Dean...is there something wrong?”

“No, I was just calling him to see if he could bring me some arrows from the armory, but anyway, how are you?” He sounded genuinely curious. 

“I’m fine, always fine. I can bring you some arrows...I thought maybe I could talk to you about something anyway…” 

“Of course! Does it matter that Magnus is here? He could leave if you don’t wa-”

“No, that’s fine. It’s just something about Jace. See you soon!”

You stop by your and Jace’s room and see that he fell asleep with his shoes still on. You smile lovingly and walk over to him and take off his shoes and kiss his forehead. You wrote a note and put it on the end table. If he woke up and you were there, he would be worried. You then grab some arrows and head over to Magnus and Alec’s apartment. You knocked on their door and waited for them to answer and Alec answered almost immediately and you saw that both him and Magnus were in their pajamas. 

“Hey Y/N what’s up?” You hand him the arrows, walk in, and walk over to the couch and sit down. Magnus was sitting on the love seat and walked over you and kissed your head and sat next to you. His kisses were different then Jace’s. A) because it wasn’t romantic b) he was bisexual c) he’s in a relationship with Alec d) Magnus is like her brother and e) he’s bisexual.

“Umm...I don’t want to say too much...but I have some trust issues…” That admission was hard enough, and Magnus snickered a little and Alec shot him a look, telling him to shut up.

“I...I love Jace more than I’ve ever loved anyone in this world. I just….don’t know if I can tell him about somethings...he deserves to know, he does. But I just don’t know if I can...cause I mean…” You were picking at your nails to try and calm down. You couldn’t speak anymore and you felt shame going straight through your veins. Silence rang out through the apartment. They both were expecting you to speak some more, but you couldn’t get the words out. You stared off at the wall, trying to numb the panic in your heart. Magnus stood up and walked out of the room and I felt fear creep in. I knew it. They would leave me. However, he came back in with a little ball of fluff. He put Chairman Meow in my lap and the kitty started purring. This cat has always liked you, and he never ran away. You instantly started petting him and smiled. He didn’t leave you, he was getting something to HELP you. 

“Y/N I can tell you this, Jace will protect you and he will die for you. He will take anything you give him and he will carry all your problems on his shoulders. He is your biggest supporter. He’s rooting for you. So you can talk to him. He will be there, and from past experience, I know for a fact he won’t abandon you.” He was sitting on the loveseats arm and he was speaking quietly, almost like he was speaking to a frightened animal. I studied Chairman Meow’s fur and tried to get lost in how soft it was. Believe it or not, you were a very tactile person. You think it has something to do with not getting good safe healthy touches throughout your entire life. They both wait silently and patiently waiting for you to digest what you were thinking and feeling. 

“I spent the majority of my life hiding who I was from my family and friends, and when I finally did come out, they were all there to support me. I thought they would leave as well, but it never even crossed their minds.” Alec stood up and walked over and sat on the couch, sandwiching you between Magnus and himself. 

“Darling, I can tell you’ve been through some sort of hell. It must be super hard to do it all alone. We’re here if you want to talk, but I think we all know you should be talking to jace.” Alec pulled the cat out of your arms and Magnus reached over and grabbed your hand and squeezed tightly. You felt loved. Then, you stood up and nodded your head. 

“Thanks you two...I really needed this.” 

“Call or text whenever you need to. We’re serious. We’re here for you.” Magnus said and Alec agreed. 

When you went back to the Institute, you noticed that Church meowed at you and you reached down to pet him. Then, this sharp stabbing pain burned on your forearm. Your parabatai rune. That meant Dean was in trouble. Oh no. 

“DEAN!!!! Church, take me to Dean!” Church couldn’t even do it. That meant that Dean wasn’t here. You pulled out your phone and called him. He didn’t answer. You called repeatedly and every time he didn’t answer, panic rose in your blood. 

“JACE!!!!” You ran as fast as you could to Jace’s room and Jace shot up from the bed. 

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What’s going on?” He grabbed your arms and you shook your head. 

“Get dressed and get your weapons. Dean is in trouble!”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, we’ll have to use a navigation rune!” You were only meant to use this rune in absolute emergencies. 

Jace and you prepared as fast as you could and you pulled out your copper colored stele and had Jace give you the mark. But as soon as you found him, something happened. You felt a huge stab in your heart. Oh Lord, please no! Your heart felt as if you were stabbed with a sharp gripping stake and it was twisting and ripping out your heart. You gasp in agony. The rune on your arm went from a dark black mark to a clear scar. You felt a part of you die. You literally went from feeling normal to nothing. Pure emptiness. You grabbed Jace’s arm and all you could hear was this fuzz and static as Jace yelled asking you what was happening, but horror filled you and fell to your knees and screamed as loud as you could. Izzy and Simon ran in and you assumed that they were asking Jace what was happening, and Jace was on the floor with you holding your face in his and the look on his face showed pure concern, worry, love, fear, and tenderness all wrapped into one expression. Your lips were quivering and you felt the tears well in your eyes. 

“He’s dead. Dean is dead.”

#jace waylandxreader #jace herondale x reader #jace wayland #jace herondale #PTSD #depression #alec lightwood #magnus lightwood bane #isabelle lightwood #simon lewis #dominic sherwood #jamie campbell bower #the mortal instruments #Shadowhunters

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

*

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on psychology #it's even worth being away that clinical psychologists often frown on psychoanalysts #and psychoanalysts often frown on the rigidity of clinical psychology curriculums lol #dr gary works within both schools and is a bit of a rebel in that sense #anyway yeah like #even i was really wary of writing too much dr gary #and only really gave into it indulgently #when people revealed they were enjoying those scenes and dr gary himself #but like #i would hate him as a therapist #he's pushy and sometimes pretty impatient #even what i write re: therapy #is not necessarily a reflection on what a real life person would experience #in the same circumstances #Anonymous

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Could i ask for the NSFW Alphabet for Dusttale Sans next? :3 The Boys you already done are so much Fun and so damn interesting to read, i love your Writing a lot, thanks for doing all these Boys and accept all my Asks <3

((No problem hon~ As long as you are enjoying them!))

A = Aftercare

Solaris will probably hold you close to himself. He won’t say anything, and he will keep you shut too if you will try to talk. All he wants is to be in silence, and have you close to him, listening to your breathing. That’s all he wants right now. 

B = Body part

Solaris hasn’t ever thought about a favorite body part of yours. His sex drive is low, so he doesn’t find any body part of yours extremely attractive. It’s more like he likes how you look either way, as looks aren’t the most important thing for him. 

C = Cum

Solaris hates cum, that’s why if you cover him with it, or you are covered in it, the first thing you both will do after the act is going and taking a shower. It’s just something he can’t handle.

D = Dirty Secret

Actually, you were his first time. He had never done it with anyone, and he is going, to be honest, he enjoys his female parts a lot more than his male parts. 

E = Experience

Seeing as you are his very first sexual partner, he isn’t experienced at all. If you want something from him, I hope you are ready to teach him all of that, because he doesn’t know anything about it. 

F = Favourite Position

G-whiz. Solaris isn’t sure why, but he enjoys the intimacy. The feeling of being so close, yet not too close. Being able to look at you, be it him being the receiving side or the giving one. It’s just perfect for him.

G = Goofy

Solaris is always serious, so why would he change in the bedroom? He will stay just as serious as always.

I = Intimacy

Solaris is much more gentle with you, no matter the role he takes. It’s something intimate, right? Well, you deserve to have at least a little bit of affection in such an act. 

J = Jack Off

Solaris’ sex drive is very small, that’s why he wouldn’t masturbate, but he would probably enjoy watching his lover masturbate, even if he would never tell you himself. 

K = Kink

~  Impact Play  - It’s something he loves. The sound of a whip, paddle, or anything else hitting your skin, it leaves him wanting for more. 

~  Knife Play  -  A knife is something that he came to love and hate. A knife has become a good friend of his and one of his biggest enemies. So why not use one in the bedroom too?

~  Needle Play  -  When you would get scared of knives, he would change to needles. 

L = Location

The basement. That’s where you most of the time being anyway, so why wouldn’t he come to love that place? The cold, the darkness, the dampness, it’s all perfect for him.

M = Motivation

You showing a helpless side to him. Begging for forgiveness even if you know that you will probably not get it at all. 

N = NO

You showing a caring side. He doesn’t understand why you think you can change him, but you can’t. You aren’t a therapist, you aren’t a friend, you aren’t his brother, why do you think you are important enough to be able to do that?

O = Oral

Performing. He isn’t a good lover, but at least, he wants to give back to you in some way, and what better way than through oral sex?

P = Pace

Solaris doesn’t have a preferred pace, that’s why it would all depend on you. That’s where he is giving you full control. 

Q = Quickie

Finds them to be annoying. He already sees sex as a chore, so quickies are just annoying for him.

R = Risk

Of course, he won’t take any risks or experiment. If you don’t like what you two are doing, then you can stop having sex with him. He never initiated any of the encounters, as he has almost zero sex drive.

S = Stamina

One, at best. As I’ve said, he spends a lot of time away from home and returns tired. If you want to do it, he can go one round, maybe, and that is it. You are left on your own then. 

T = Toy

No. Of course not. When did you miss the fact that he has absolutely no money? Food that you eat and everything else is stolen from his victim’s houses. What, you want him to bring you back used toys with god knows what illnesses on them? Because he can but trust him, he’s not coming near you with a 10-foot pole. 

U = Unfair

Solaris finds teasing to be both annoying and confusing. He doesn’t see any reason why you would be into that, or why he should be into that. 

V = Volume

Solaris is a very quiet lover, not liking to make a lot of sounds. He just finds it to be completely annoying, so he hopes you are a quiet lover too.

W = Wild Card

Solaris actually loves how you taste, even if he hates cum on himself. That is another reason why he likes to give oral and not receive it. 

X = X-Ray

Solaris prefers female genitals a lot more than male, that’s why in his pants, more often than not, you will find female genitals. He is on the more petite side, because of his horrible diet. Most of his victims are usually humans, so monster food is rare. And well, human food gets proceed much slower in his body.

Y = Yearning

It’s not high at all. Unless you initiate the whole act, he honestly will show no interest in you.

Z = ZZZ

Almost immediately. He always comes back tired, and he will sleep without caring too much.

#yandere imagines #undertale imagines #yandere undertale imagines #yandere alphabet #alphabet #yandere #undertale #dusttale #sans #dusttale sans #yandere undertale #yandere dusttale #yandere sans #yandere dusttale sans

[surferboypizzas]

Please, I am a total wimp when it comes to psychological horror (not gore though) and jump scares. Is ahs over the top or do you think it would be manageable? I want to watch it but I’m afraid it’s going to make my anxiety worse

hi anon! i’m about to break this down in bullet points because i’m fancy like that. also... later on down the post, the trigger warning list might literally trigger people. please don’t read it if you don’t want to see any mentions (just by name, no descriptions) of practicality any gory/horrible thing you could think of. i hope this helps! :)

i would say the show does contain a crap ton of psychological horror and some jump scares. 

to be honest- the show does seem to want to be perceived as a psychological horror show, but when that falls flat, it often ends up leaning on its ability to shock/disgust the audience with gore.

the show does discuss many mental illnesses (in a very negative light)

often the main character of the story’s mental health is slowly decreasing until either they fall apart emotionally, die, become a murderer, or in one or two very girlbossy cases, survive.

there is a good deal of gore, which you said you are fine with.

these are some other notes i wanted to share but didn’t fit well in the triggers:

it often frames physiologists and doctors in a villainous light and if that is going to affect you/your relationship/trust level with your therapist(if you have one)/doctor maybe avoid the show for now

if you are attached to a character portrayed by one of the actors that is on ahs, expect to see the face of your character doing terrible things to other people/have terrible things be done to them. if this is going to spoil that character for you or harm you in any way, maybe look up to see what character an actor is playing any given season, and see if they are nice, a serial killer, a little indie white boy who would explain nirvana to me in a very patronizing way, an alt-right cult leader, or maybe even an abusive mother.

it also does contain many “subgenres” of gore, and other topics i know can be VERY triggering. so i made a list, just in case:

the most intense warning i can give is that there are very graphic scenes of sexual violence. everything from unwanted groping, to victim blaming post r***, to dubious consent, to other violence happening while this is happening, to graphic r***, in one (i think) case it is done to a LITTLE BOY. this violence is especially towards women. (there are w a y too many of these, and they keep making me wanna quit the show. basically, if you think something is going to happen- it probably will. just skip ahead.)

s*lf-h@rm

su*cide

forced su*cide

m*rder

... skin wearing... like... other people’s skin...

school shootings

graphic spicey scenes (like, a lot)

emotional manipulation

animal harm/de@th

guns

police violence against people of color

hospital scenes

intense physical child @buse

drug use/ alchohol

some audio manipulation (moving side to side) that may cause dissociation for some (me. i’m some.)

vomiting

food

flashing lights

racism (obviously including the police violence, and more i will list later)

e@ting d*sorders

t0rture

n*crophilia (literally why do i watch this show) (i skip through most of the scenes ngl)

rotting people

guts. like- outside of the body.

swearing & yelling

l*nching (the aftermath specifically, and body found is a child’s)

n-slur, and other racist slurs

dolls

human bodies being used as dolls

clowns

zombies (kinda??)

medical abuse

lashing (often bare butts)

homophobic slurs

ableism

hanging

*ncest

blood

#ahs #tw everything #why do i watch this show #i skip through most of the scenes i'm not gonna lie to you

[kuroosweakness]

More facts about 🐾 anon bc you seemed to really like them:

- I can play the piano and violin but I want to learn how to play the electric guitar

- I wish to reveal myself one day however I’m just a lil too shy to really be active on the internet (also tumblr won’t let me show pictures if I’m an anon :( )

- I really love to read and I in fact read everyday

- I’m not too addicted to stuff, after a little ill take breaks, like tiktok, I haven’t been on for 2 days so far

- It’s really comforting when someone brushes through my hair (I straighten it so it’s easier to manage lol)

- I don’t like math :( it’s the one thing I actually struggle a bit in

- I actually don’t care what negative things people think of me unless I’m close to them but I’m interested in what positive things you think of me

- I’m really proud of myself lmao there’s nothing I hate about myself so I’m completely fine in that area

- a lot of people tell me I’m sweet I don’t get where they’re coming from when it’s been only 3 seconds of meeting me?

- I don’t care about people I haven’t met (besides online) like I know how mean it sounds but it’s not like I’m trying to be :<

- don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to protect anyone I see getting hurt

- my main goal in life is just to do what makes me happy.

- it might not seem like it but I’m both selfish and generous (maybe more generous)

- on the outside I’m a really quiet and shy person but in reality I’m just an ambivert (more of a introverted extrovert) but i really enjoy being with people and I’ll get out of my shell anytime

- I’m the therapist of the friend group (I also crack a lot of jokes)

- im a very loyal person

- I lie (and am a very good liar) but also hate lying and try to be as honest as possible

- but there are just some people I cannot lie too.

- I’m not good with dealing with my own feelings kinda I think

- oof this is getting real deep lmao lemme change a bit

- PLEASE HOW DID I GET SO OBSESSED OVER AOT IN THE SPAN OF A COUPLE DAYS

- my fav animes are now JJK, Haikyuu, and AOT

- my fav protag is Eren (but it’s way deeper than just favorites, I’d love to explain why)

- I’m very peaceful/at peace until disturbed

- I’m playful but I get more tired of playing than most

- I’m a very logical person but so am I emotional, I use my logical side more

- I’m more empathetic than sympathetic

NEXT ASK IM GIVING YOU MY KIN LIST >:V

i can play the violin and piano too! we have much in common :) i wanna learn guitar >< 

feel free to reveal yourself if you feel comfortable! i won’t stalk your account or anything! (...) 

i also love reading 🥺do you have book recommendations? 

that’s a healthy habit ... i wish i had the strength to do that ahhh. for me, tiktok does me more good than bad so it’s aight :’) 

OMG YES. when people brush my hair i find it so so so comforting djfkdlfj !! it’s such a soft gesture 🥺it makes me feel all comfy and relaxed 

me too, me too :(( math < everything else 

i’m proud of you for being proud of yourself! :)) 

oh, that’s probably because you leave a good first impression on them! 

hm ... i can kinda see what you mean

yes, we love protective people 😌

that is an amazing life goal. we have the same one :) 

RIGHT. both selfish and generous. me too me too me too. i guess it’s a good thing to have a balance between to two. because one can’t be only generous or only selfish, you know? 

hello there fellow ambivert :) 

hello there therapist of the friend group, we deeply appreciate you <3 

i wish i can be better at lying 😭yes yes the truth will always be better than lies, even white lies 

we’ll navigate our feelings together :’) 

taste 😌if you haven’t watched Bungo Stray Dogs, check it out! it’s really really good ;) 

OMG EREN, THE FANARTS OF HIM ARE GODLY 

we have so much in common omggg. all of your last four also fits me :D i feel like you and i would get along well in real life 👀