um so I had this insanely long, complicated story/movie of a dream last night.
I was some pretty woman who was gonna get married the next day and I guess my husband (who I don't think appeared once in the entire dream) and I wanted macaroni salad (I don't even like that shit???) from this local tiny restaurant. The lady who owned it was super famous for her macaroni salad and people were desperate for the recipe, like INSANE, and she even had a competitor who went to cartoonish lengths to get the recipe but was always unsuccessful.
Anyway I went there and she was like 'well I can't make it today but.... I can give you the recipe 👀' and told me this whole sneaky cryptic plan where she'd leave the recipe on a little note for me to come find at a certain place at a certain time.
Everyone found out and people started trying to kidnap me - housewives, random dudes, some guys I think were part of a cartel - because they were sure I had the recipe (I did not yet) and I was in several weird Mexican standoff kind of situations, with knives and guns. My cat Mochi (I knew her name but at the same time apparently she was not my cat) came in at one point and saved me by biting a guy who was holding a knife to my throat and I took Mochi away with me and said she would be mine and my husband's baby, our only child (which actually does sound 100% like me). I guess I left her safely with the restaurant lady or something, but then I had to go to the drop off site to get the recipe.
When I got there I picked up the note and read it, and it wasn't the recipe! I was like 'omg' and then the competitor's thugs showed up (he had thugs 🤷♀️) and I got kidnapped again, and all the people trying to get the recipe converged in one area. I'm kind of fuzzy on what went down then but it was both weirdly dramatic and fucking stupid, and I was getting roughed up but even when the competitor guy himself came out and pointed a gun at me, I wasn't gonna tell him what was on the note!
So instead I told them the note they had seen me pick up had nothing to do with the recipe, and that the real, recipe-containing note was hidden 'somewhere right around here' and they all started fighting wildly amongst themselves while I ran off to meet Macaroni Salad Restaurant Lady at her restaurant where this entire shit started. At this point it was dawn of the next day.
I was like 'okay why are you doing all of this' and she was like 'I just thought it was time. btw have you talked to your fiance today at all??' and I was like 'no I told him I'd be home in an hour yesterday afternoon' and she was like 'oh my' and gave me a bowl of macaroni salad and then she set this big box full of papers on the sidewalk in front of the store and told me to have a nice wedding.
I went home and I guess I got married????? what the fuck ever
The next day I went to say thank you to the lady, and all the rival 'gangs' who had been fighting each other also showed up looked exhausted and fucked up, and that was when they saw the box with the papers. All the papers had the recipe written on them and the Macaroni Lady had put up a sign saying 'from now on I'll be sharing my recipe with everyone (:'
And around that time I woke up.
There you fucking go, people
7 notes
·
View notes
Cold Chicken Macaroni Salad Recipe
This cold chicken macaroni salad with boiled eggs is great for lunch, picnics, potlucks, and summer parties.
9 notes
·
View notes
My new year resolution is that the next one doesn't come not as in I want to die but as in I hope the world ends
2 notes
·
View notes
Today's reminder: You are loved. You are appreciated. You have a boyfriend. You make the best macaroni salad. Your boyfriend loves your macaroni salad. Your boyfriend wishes you would make macaroni salad more often. Back in 2016, someone tried to steal your macaroni salad recipe to impress their in-laws on Thanksgiving. You didn't let that happen. You make the best macaroni salad.
5 notes
·
View notes
Fried Chicken and Waffles with Macaroni Salad, Sweet Pickles and Cajun Gravy from The Heartbreak Chef
25 notes
·
View notes
Shrimp and Crab Macaroni Salad
A cold shrimp and crab salad with pasta, celery, onion, and green pepper. Imitation crabmeat also works well in place of real crab. Can also be made with salmon or tuna in place of shrimp and crab.
2 notes
·
View notes
Grocery store macaroni salad tastes best when it’s on sale.
3 notes
·
View notes
Super creamy vegan macaroni salad 🤤🤤
With all of the gatherings coming up, this would make a great side dish!
5 notes
·
View notes