#love how tumblr's video processing abilities are getting worse and worse

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

#楼下小冯 #douyin #video #tiktok #that's just excessive #love how tumblr's video processing abilities are getting worse and worse #post a queued video? on time? why would tumblr do that when they could take 1-2 hours to post queued videos instead #or go even longer than that & make me go to /processing myself and delete the video stuck in limbo and reupload it in 3min just 3hrs late!!

[greenjokwe-blog]

Monthly Greejily Media (January 2024) - The First of Who Knows

God I hate Twitter. I mean I still use it way more than any other social media, but I'm so tired of it man. From all the recent mistakes, to how posts get popular, to how it and TikTok's business decisions have infected the entire tech industry at large. All that and more is good enough reason to move my media threads away from that platform, but truth be told I'm only so moved by these things in that regard. Nah, more than anything, the format for media threads on that site just got tiring for me. Feeling the need to fit in everything into a single tweet, the want to put every single media I've consumed in one place even if I'm not particularly moved or interested in the updating process. So, I thought this'd be much nicer. Having a little section on my Tumblr dedicated to the stuff that's interested me the most, on a monthly basis. A lot more appealing! And that way I can talk about whatever I want for as long as I want. Fantastic. This probably won't stop my full reviews (there are still a few I want to write, but writer's block is getting to me right now), but this is definitely a more flexible format for me at least for now. Let's start shall we?

I might as well start with video games, as it's the thing I tend to talk about most on this blog, but truth be told I haven't actually beaten a single game this year yet. There's one game I'm currently working on beating, but because I'll be taking a more casual approach to that one (as well as gaming in general this year I imagine), I'm not comfortable talking about that one yet. Two games I'll talk about for now though, and will definitely probably come up again I will discuss though, one of those being Picross 3D.

I've never been invested in Picross but I've always found it a good time. I love all kinds of old puzzle solvers and Picross/nonograms in general have been a great, shockingly modern version of that that fit amazingly for video games. Picross 3D has felt like the perfect culmination of what Picross has achieved for years, and seeing the praise for it I knew this would be a great step for me getting into more of Picross in general, and I was right.

There's not much I can really add here, I feel no need to explain what Picross is and not much to add to it's actual gameflow other than its so addicting and there's so much of it here. I'm approaching halfway through right now and this game has nearly 400 puzzles. Each puzzle is like a trance, they all have logical and sensical solutions, and the satisfaction of finding a discrepancy, deleting/saving blocks as needed, and realizing you've just opened a whole new set of options for yourself feels amazing.

I only have two issues with it as of right now, one of them being because this game was made with a DS in mind, and because there are no zoom-in options for the game, trying to get the correct block to delete can often feel very finicky. The other issue being, well I can't play too much of it! I start seeing Picross when I close my eyes and it comes up with unsolvable puzzles! I'll talk about my future adventures with Picross no doubt in the future though, so get ready.

Another game I've been into, and you should expect to see again in these posts, is Burnout 3: Takedown. Again, probably not gonna say much on this for now, but I already have over one hundred gold medals for the courses in this game. This game has such good variety, despite having a fairly limited number of tracks it makes real good use of it, and it's technical ability for a PS2 game can only been the work of gods. Also it feels amazing to play holy shit. I get why there's never been a new one of these, but the worlds been worse without it.

One thing I will say though, don't be surprised if I write a full review on this game where I inevitably tear the latter Gran Prix to shreds, cuz holy shit the last one I did was so fucking hard. The game has great feel, design and good tells for a PS2 game, but it's still a PS2 game. You can be a god at this game and still get fucked over. But the fact that the game is so tantilizing and the amount of fuckups that can happen with you having a smile on your face... yeah I'll have to make a full review on this game when I 100% it, watch this space.

All right, next up films and television!!!

This is the section I was really excited for. I haven't talked about film at all on this blog, and I wanna make up for it. There's still a TON of films I watched last year that I want to talk about, so don't be surprised if I start making tangent posts about those at some point. More than anything, I want this year to be my film and book year, so expect it to take over all these upcoming posts from now on.

To start with, the show I finally finished, Gundam 00! This was the Gundam series I always wanted to watch even before I knew what the UC was, and now being a huge Gundam fan it's made watching the full series an... interesting reflection. I did post my opinions on the first season after finishing it last year, and I'll stick by those. Despite its problem with plotlines and characters, this show is a great response and reflection of what led to the Iraq war, as well as the war on terrorism in general. Season 1 also ended extremely strong, so Season 2 had a lot to live up to. A lot that I knew, based on a general sense and public opinion that it wouldn't. It ended up with me dropping the show for a few months until I eventually picked it back up after watching Wing rightfully thinking "it can't be any worse".

Thankfully it wasn't! The show picked up a fair bit after the second half, and included a lot of interesting arcs and stories (mainly, the stuff regarding the ALAWS) to consistently keep the show fairly solid. However, there was still a ton of problems. Plots were even messier here than they were during the first season, a huge portion of motivations just got cut in half, the characters are even less likeable here (aside from the worst ones, which are nicer now by comparison), and the main issue of the villains being a LOT less compelling here than they were in season 1, to the point of both detriment of the show and making it feel a lot more standard-Gundam faire, compared to S1's striking originality. However, there's still a lot to like! Again, a lot of the plotlines I liked such as the ALAWS and everything with Marina, the Gundam designs and effects are still solid, animation is nice (even if at points I'd prefer more clearer and concise boarding and battles), and it still carries over a lot of the themes that made Gundam 00 so solid to begin with. So despite it's weakness I'd still say that season 2 is worth the watch, if anything else for more of Setsuna and Graham.

Oh yeah and I uh, watched the movie as well.

OK, slight spoilers ahead, but I'm just gonna get through this very quickly here. This film is dumb. All of the political intrigue of the show is basically gone to make a James Cameron-inspired dumb anime blockbuster. The main villains are a cross between Xenomorphs and Terminators. It's got quip dialogue. There is a scene where they somehow make the comical approach to Allelujah's mental illnesses even more comical by giving him this Hulk-style action switch sequence. The film largely focuses on characters that get no payoff, with Setsuna being the only strong focus throughout. It's dumb. It's shallow. It's a mess. It's also kind of fun??? I can't say it looks visually much better than the show, but what it does have is a fairly simple but strong premise that fits the world fairly well. And whenever something cool happens it manages to make it REALLY cool. So that's always nice. Somehow, still a very satisfying conclusion to the series despite everything that it is, and probably up there somewhere in the middle of the Gundam films I've seen so far.

That was the first of the three films I saw this month, with the other two being not quite as schlocky. In fact, on the complete opposite of the "war is bad" scale, we have the 1957 Soviet film "The Cranes are Flying".

While a much-beloved classic by prestigious classic by many, I knew essentially nothing about this film an hour before I decided to start watching it. When I started watching the film, I was fairly disappointed in how, premise-wise, this film doesn't really have much different from what I wasn't already used to from a variety of war history, poetry, and sad mid-2000s webcomics. As stunning as this film could be with its technical prowess for the 50s, I was worried that this film wouldn't really do much for me. That was until I reached about the halfway point.

The small little trick this film plays with you (that's not really much of a trick, mind you), is extremely potent and gives this film relevancy to this day. Not being just a film about war-torn lovers, this film focuses well and truly on it's main character, Veronika, and all of her strifes and problems that arise either as caused by the war, or by her family. This film goes in to a lot of issues of women's suffrage and plight that you would not expect a film from this era to discuss, and does it with great decorum and respect (although, this came out the same year as Nights of Cabiria, which, wow, what a year for feminist film). There are some scenes in this film that are filled with harrowing emotion that I can definitely see why it's considered such an underground classic, at least as far as the west is concerned.

I think because of the general content of the film there's only so much I can enjoy though, if that makes sense? But that's just an issue for me and old movies in general, nothing against the film itself. I would still absolutely recommend this film to anyone who is interested, as relevant and ever-present now as it ever was. Man, I hate war. And warlord fascists.

Any way, final film that I watched this month, and this one's one for the BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh, spoilers for this one too, by the way.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest is a weird one for me to talk about, because if it wasn't for the (admittedly few) caveats that I have with this film I could easily see it being one of my all-time favourites. Had I watched it a few years back it probably would be! The acting is fantastic, portraying each character and their differences wonderfully. The characters themselves are all extremely likeable and each has their own interesting quirks and interests that keep them apart despite the amount that there are onscreen. The technical ability in this film's phenomenal, loads of wonderful shots here, and the way the more compact scenes here move in-and-out of focus is absolutely wonderful. Pace, soundtrack, general story and motivations, all solid stuff.

But... at the same time... I mean, it's not that big of a deal, but like... I was only half-kidding when I called this film a "boys movie" earlier. Not that it's an innate issue! But let's say, I wanted to make a really dumb and unfavourable view on the film, you could definitely theoretically make a Letterboxd review complaining how this film is a contrived story about an evil matriarch trying to destroy "the boys" fun at all opportunities, the evil bitch! This, in and of itself I don't think would be a real issue for me with this films plot alone, but the film constructs itself with this plausible deniability aspect to it, the possibility that these men are just here to chill or self-improve! It puts some of the films accolades and themes and misunderstandings (mostly from guys) into a different context.

This, along with some other issues I have including a couple of character arcs like the Chief, and general ambivalence to certain topics as a whole, apparently don't exist in the book (from what I've been told). It's definitely something I want to read at some point! HOWEVER, all that being said, I don't hold much of this too much against the film, mostly because one, the story is still pretty damn good, and two, god there aren't many other movies out there that treat those with problems and mental illnesses with the humanity and respect quite like this film does. The way the film manages to make sure that each character deserves their own urgency and respect, and makes sure to put blame and point at the terrible ablest structures that demonise and trap them...

I think the best example of this in the film is during the beginning of the film, where the first group therapy meeting is held. The scene manages to perfectly represent the circle the main cast surrounds themselves in, where the previous good mood and vibes of the previous 10 minutes starts dimming. When Mrs. Fletcher asks Mr. Harding about his wife, with the set implication that she was being unfaithful. Harding tries to avoid the question, particularly when the topic of abuse comes up, leading to deflection, however, as the conversation goes on, the emotion from great late actor William Redfield becomes more and more potent. It starts to become more clear that even if he is deflecting, he is truly looking for redemption and self-improvement, and, truth be told, the fact of him being abusive, or even her cheating both start becoming irrelevant (the film never states if they were or not). This is lost on the other patients though, who see this session as just another time of him yapping about his wife, strictly against Harding's wishes. This turns into a shouting match, all the while Mrs. Fletcher and the other doctors do nothing but watch. Despite how this has clearly happened before, despite the fact that it's strictly not working, they let it continue not necessarily because they personally believe it helps, but because they believe it's best to follow the systems and rules set in place by the hospital, even if it only hurts and victimizes the patients who are there just to get help.

So yeah I like this film a lot, I think it's fantastic. I know I kinda went on about it for a bit for a film that's been talked about to death, but whatever. Definitely would recommend, good film good film.

And laaaastt uppp uuhhhh albums I guess? Truth is, I'm gonna have a similar issue with this section that I did last time where I'm not gonna know what to write that much, so I came up with a solution. Most of the reason I did what I did last year on Twitter with my relistens was to make up for lastfm mostly being irrelevant for me now. So, I decided instead I'd make my own lastfm 5x5 charts based on what I listened to that month, either being new albums or relistens. So, here it is:

There'll be times where I probably go on tangents here. For example I FINALLY got around to hearing Quaranta and I of course ended up really liking it. Same with Genesis' Trespass, Far East Suite, and that Funkadelic album. And there's still issues with this format like I might have to differentiate what was new for me and what was a relisten. But I imagine the format will end up changing a lot as the months go on and it might not even be the same next month so, we'll what I do next I suppose, if I scrap this idea don't be surprised, it's probably cuz I didn't listen to that month or something I dunno.

Anyway, that's the update done! God knows if when I do this next month it'll be even remotely as close to as long as this one was. There might be months when I decide to dedicate an entire section to one single piece of art I enjoyed. Maybe there won't be one some months and I just try to put out a review or something instead, or I just choose to shitpost a whole month cuz I REALLY have nothing to say. We'll see. I imagine this'll be a fun format to experiment with, either way. Thanks for reading!

[straighttohellbuddy]

📓 !!

Okay im so excited please know I think about How The Light Gets In's world every day still, and so anyways here is a side story I want to write but there's a lot of set up regarding the reader and eef becoming friends again. For context, they were incredibly close around 2014-2017, but people were getting creepy and invasive and demanding about their friendship (think 2012 toxic side of the Phandom, if that makes sense), and a lot of the reader's relationships were strained at that time because while they had been successful before, they were absolutely blowing up after their first album released and they became far more mainstream. They felt like they were bothering the people they had become closest to, both because they're worried that they're a bother, and because gossip rags and paps would harrass their friends looking for a scoop, and so they ended up just completely cutting off contact without warning one day right before they went on their first tour. the start of HTLGI is about 3 years since they'd been in proper contact with any of the creators they were close to at that time.

DON'T LOOK AT ME on their 2017 ep Hyperfocus was a more general song in response to everything that had been happening in their life around that time, with a focus on how they stop associating with anyone for a while, without outright addressing it, but on their latest album n o s t a l g i a, read at 5am ft. Troye was specifically written at the start of quarantine, when the reader was getting back into YouTube, about their feelings regarding how their friendship with ethan ended, as they spent a lot of this time looking back of their YouTube career, and he was the person they were closest to for a very long time, before they iced everyone out.

OKAY SO THERES MORE OF THE BACKGROUND OF THE WHOLE FIC AND THE READER BUT

Werewolf Ethan & Mark. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. They have golden retriever energy you cannot change my mind. But also because this is the HTLGI you know that supernatural characteristics are able to be activated rather than just triggered by the full moon. What I'm trying to say is since this is set in the year of Unus Annus, they film a video together that's like, you know that show where a person has to try and outwit a professional tracker? Except its the reader being tracked by two werewolves at night in a national park. Reader is wearing some sort of night vision camera on themselves so whenever it cuts to them the audience can't actually see how they're using their powers, if that makes sense.

Also the reader agreed to this knowing it would probably be when they ended up telling Mark and Ethan about them being a demon.

Video is titled Hunting Down An Old Friend

A few Moments that the boys edit out:

The reader using their stupidly sharp prehensile tail to swing from tree branches, though they leave in shots where the reader's tail can't be seen.

Knowing that with the werewolves having advanced hearing, the reader would give themselves away by talking to the camera, they take a few minutes having flown up to a high tree branch, to pull out a notebook and do a little sketch of how Mark and Ethan appear in their Demon True Sight, and holding it up to their camera.

Werewolves being one of the animals who can kind of sense demons without being able to identify them, essentially like dogs can sense natural disasters and are often good judges of character, this can be heightened on command for werewolves. There's about 15 minutes of footage cut out of the boys discussing or mentioning how this place has awful vibes and that they should have done this during the day. It gets worse as they get closer to the reader, who didn't realise that the boys hadn't thought to ever use that particular power around them before.

("I say this with so much love and appreciation for you, dude," Ethan yells, looking up at you from the base of the tree they'd finally found you in, "but I- this is making me anxious I feel like something terrible's gonna happen, and we should probably get out of here and film the rest of the video back at Mark's." And behind him, Mark's nodding, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes scanning the trees for whatever was most likely the cause of this terrible impending doom.

Oh. It's you. And they don't know its you.

Now or never, you suppose.

"Can you cut the cameras for a second? You're going to be fine I promise," you called back, and though they obligingly did, they both seemed antsy. You cleared your throat awkwardly, "that... that terrible feeling, that's not the park or anything in it- well I mean, it is, but it's just- it's me."

and later

"Dude your wings smell like rotten eggs."

"To YOU Ethan! And no they don't!"

"If it makes you feel better they smell like burning and rotten eggs."

"It does not."

(for reference, when enhancing their sense of smell werewolves can kind of distinguish various supernatural creatures, or parts of supernatural creatures. Some creatures have an inherent scent, but some, like angels and demons, only have distinct scents when they've activated certain attributesor abilities; demon wings smell like fire and brimstone, which unfortunately means burning and rotten eggs. I like to think angels wings are like the love potion in Harry Potter that smells like the things you love the most. Mark and Ethan usually don't enhance it around each other because they smell like wet dog to the other)

This gets about 2k notes on tumblr. The reader likes it:

Ethan finally finding Y/N at the end of Hunting Down An Old Friend (2020) Colourised.

Other things to note regarding all this:

It takes a while to rebuild their friendship to the point where they're comfortable enough to be on camera together (eef and reader specifically).

However, the Unus Annus video is the first thing they properly do together, and the reader, in an effort to connect more and make up for the past, will join in multiplayer gaming streams if asked.

Impromptu duet in proximity Among Us of Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy, which has their respective chats and fandoms losing their minds, except it stops abruptly after the first chorus as they both remember the opening lines of the second verse (make it easy, say I never mattered -- those lyrics hit a little too close to home)

But also the reader convinces him to join him for a proper cover in like, February of 2021, and it's something deeply sappy (I'm thinking Bon Iver by mxmtoon because I think its sweet and fits them well)

Also Ethan being reminded that the reader is kind of a much bigger deal than when they'd been friends before.

designed to hurt (touch me) from their ep Working On It is nominated for a Grammy for Track of the Year, and n o s t a l g i a wins Best Pop Album (because it's my fic and I said so)

FIRST OF ALL designed to hurt (touch me) is a beautifully produced song about Corpse (which people do not know) and the title itself is literally making fun of something he said IMAGINE his reaction to it being Grammy Nominated 😂😂😂 God he'd be proud but lowkey fuming, meanwhile the moment the nominations are announced the reader tweets:

me: here is an album where I processed my entire world view including heartfelt explorations of the trauma of existing and oversharing in the public eye from a young age without the traditional barrier between audience and entertainer

the grammys: that's cute BUT you know the song you wrote to bully your boyfriend and also be horny on main for him before you guys were even dating? THAT deserves its own recognition.

meanwhile Ethan's like..... this is the same person who I filmed a video with playing cards against humanity, and you laughed so hard you almost threw up. I am very proud but deeply confused.

The Hot Meme of Late April 2021 is "2 time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" with a gif, still, or quote from the reader where they're just being an absolute chaos gremlin.

Of course we have "If I bleached my asshole for charity I'd do it tastefully."

2 Time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N speaking to their actual boyfriend in the year of our lord 2020: You are being executed for Clown Crimes.

ethan posts a short video to twitter simply of his screen where he's renaming a folder from "Never Before Seen Images of Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" simply changing it to 2 time Artist. The reader responds specifically to his tweet with a video of themselves asking Google how to hard reset someone else's computer.

So many screenshots from old videos surface that week.

I miss this world. Sorry this is rambly!!

#shut ur pretty mouth #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #your local homosexual with no chill #htlgi

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

#dear evan hansen #deh #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoe murphy #musicals #broadway #deh rewrite i guess? #this is more like the outline of a fic i’ll never write #kd.txt #i was posessed to write this #tree bros

[aahsoka]

So having been on tiktok for a bit I wanna talk a little about it.

What I like

It’s actually rather entertaining to scroll through up to 30 second videos one after the other. Sometimes the humor falls flat or it’s not your taste, but the algorithim is quite good at recommending the kind of content you will like.

I joined right when there was a big trend going around about sharing your culture, and soon after a Blackout trend where non-Black creators stopped posting for a day & spread/supported videos by Black creators. So I ended up with a fairly diverse fyp or “for you page”. It also quickly gathered that I am bisexual, so I get plenty of lgbt+ content. There’s some art mixed in there, some cosplay, some historical costuming/seamstresses, lots of avatar jokes lately, musical theatre content, fashion, girls in bikinis on rollerskates (in outer space), commentary on political issues, body positivity, all the kinds of stuff I like. To get a feed that caters to your interests you just have to watch & like videos you’re interested in & eventually it gets a feel for what you’ll watch and what you won’t.

Theres a trend where people say which ‘side’ of tiktok they’re on and I get ‘science side of tumblr’ flashbacks but I’ve mostly avoided the “straight” and conservative sides of tiktok. I would be considered a part of “woke”, “alt” (as in alternative) and lgbt+ tiktok (there are separate ones for each letter of the acronym). Possibly also “theatre” and “cosplay” tiktok. These categories are nebulous and you’re usually part of multiple communities; its just as arbitray as ‘science side of tumblr’ was.

The format reminds me of snapchat a little, and I love to talk to myself on video & post dumb thirst traps for my friends (none of which I’m attracted to so idk what my goal is there) and make stupid jokes. So this app is kinda perfect for my attention seeking side & hyperactive tendencies. Its very easy to consume on a short attention span, though not as easy as vine was.

Being in quarantine, its a way for a lot of people to engage in hobbies that involve community. Cosplay is pretty popular, as its a fun way to show off a costume & dress up & have fun without having to attend a convention. I enjoy the way lip synced audios can be used to emulate the character someone is dressed as; that’s something you couldn’t really do unless you were really good at impressions. Its a nice succinct way to show the process of creating a cosplay as well.

Those who enjoy theatre, but cannot perform in shows at this time, are able to create mini-monologues & sketches as well as sing parts of their favorite songs. Its an avenue through which to perform without putting anyone at risk of the virus. It’s also an easy way to show off your talents without having to go through the audition process & actually get cast in a show as a prominent enough role that someone will notice it.

It’s a convenient format for discourse and educational videos. Nice, short, easily digestible tidbits that stay in your mind. This extremely catchy song, for example: “Black neighborhoods are overpoliced, so of course they have higher rates of crime, and white perpetrators are undercharged, so of course they have lower rates of crime. And all of those stupid stats you keep using are operating off a small sample size. So, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up”.

As well as other videos where people take the time to explain historical events, satirize racist arguments to demonstrate why they are wrong, talk about prevalent tropes in movies, teach a few signs in ASL, share facts about their culture, etc, etc. I have found there are quite a lot of people there from unique and fairly unknown cultures and backgrounds- and this is a place where they’re able to share their culture & existence with people all over the world. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Their videos are doing far more for diverse representation than any other platform, I’d argue, as everyone is extremely visible on the app. (‘Their’ as in the creators, not the app itself).

I also have enjoyed coming across new artists on the app. It’s really fun to watch the process they go through, as most art videos deal with the whole creation of a piece. It’s inspiring. I have also come across a painter who’s work I’m in love with, and a woman who makes and sells the CUTEST ceramic mugs, and I need to purchase some stuff from them both.

Now onto the bad:

Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have much in the way of a filtering or warning system. I talked about that tiktok of the kids coming across human remains? That was just on people’s fyp. Just popped up. No warning. No reason for it to still be up. Traumatizing.

You can click on a video and say ‘not interested’ (I do this to literally every video I get where some girl is thirsting after kylo ren 🤮..... like I want the star wars videos just not THOSE videos). However, it doesn’t seem to know exactly why you weren’t interested, because I still get those videos from time to time. There’s no content filter where I can blacklist the kylo ren or any other hashtag.

There’s some very shitty content. There are racist conservatives. Misogynistic teen white boys. Really weird thirst traps. Videos where people lip sync to something with a straight face and tag it with #acting. Harmful body image trends. I thankfully stay very clear of this, but this kind of content makes me worry for the minors on the app. The one’s who don’t have enough of a concept of self yet to realize they don’t need to be able to do the newest pointless beauty trend to be beautiful, to realize it’s ok for them to be gay, to realize how predatory some adults can be, etc etc.

It is extremely easy to come across minors on the app who don’t look like teens. One time I went to a girl’s page and it said she was FIFTEEN. I’m usually good at guessing ages but something about this app messes that up. I wish there was a way to separate people under 18 and adults. Where I don’t have minor’s thirst traps popping up on my fyp. Where pedophiles don’t get a chance to curate that fyp intentionally. If anyone reading this has kids, I highly recommend they make their tiktok private or only viewable to friends.

Just like any site, there are plenty of bigots. Lots of racist comments. Plenty of transphobia. Any hatred you’ve seen elsewhere, of course it exists on tiktok. I have actually zero clue if you can report people & if it works. Most people seem to send a video commentary to their haters or duet a video of a racist pointing out their racism. I’ve heard of creators blocking people, however. I remember a tiktok of a Black woman who’s video somehow went fairly viral in Poland and now she gets a lot of racist comments from this large group of random racisf Polish followers she has and its extremely time consuming to block them all, as there’s no mass block feature.

The rumors about what works with the algorithm and doesn’t abound. I’ve heard well lit videos get more views. Many people suspect they have been shadowbanned for speaking out about current events. TikTok will remove the audio from videos sometimes if they deem it controversial enough. Most of us know they were criticized recently for intentionally keeping Black creator’s videos from being seen (a catalyst for the Blackout, actually). Or you may also recall when it was criticized for widely removing lgbt+ content. Those creators are fighting to be seen the same amount as straight cis white creators are allowed to be seen with no effort.

The effects some trends could have on teen girls. So many of them are already so uncomfortable in their own skin simply because of societal standards, but the absolutely meaningless challenges people come up with on tiktok make it so much worse. One trend was based around whether your finger touched your lips when you put it in your nose. Or if you could get your clasped hands around the back of your legs and over your butt (if they get passed, you have a flat ass, if they get stuck, its big). These completely arbitrary signifiers of the things you need to have in order to be pretty, are far more ridiculous that anything I have seen yet in my life. I worry about little girls taking these ideas to heart. There is a very kind body positive community on the app & I hope more people can find that.

There’s also that thing where they steal your data. Like most apps. But apparently they got a lot more invasive than usual, so I would look into it before making an account; if you want to do that.

I think the apps users can be great & its a pretty intuitive set up. It certainly deserves its popularity solely as a creative form of social media. That being said, its owners are so so insidious & do the worst things. Just like all other social media, its controlled by the worst kind of people. Who can never figure out how to effectively get rid of nazis or keep kids safe from adult content.

These are my less serious gripes with the app:

1) Lip syncing

When people lip sync and don’t do any kind of skit, joke, etc, just look as if they’re saying what someone else said; I hate that. I have to go back and find the original tiktok so I can like it instead. You literally did nothing interesting by ripping off someones audio and moving your lips along to it. So many people on this app are creative and so many others lack any semblance of creativity.

Also people are too easily impressed by lip syncing to kinda-fast songs. I lip synced to like....10 seconds of the devil went down to georgia and two people praised my lip syncing abilities. Like, I can also sing and talk fast, out loud, isn’t that more impressive? more skillful? The fiddle playing in that song is impressive, not the fact I can lip sync ‘the devil went down to georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal, he was in a bind, cause he was way behind.’ Have you ever seen someone play Johnny’s fiddle solo????? It’s insane!!!

Rather than see someone lip sync to the verse in Stressed Out 2x faster than normal (which is, extremely simple and the song was overplayed and ingrained into our collective consciousness) and go WOW what about someone.....doing the verse out loud. You can litterally just mouth random words and look like you’re saying the right ones. It’s driving me crazy lmao. I’m set to become a God of tiktok because I have a repertoire of fast songs and rap verses memorized. It’s not even an uncommon skill to speak or sing quickly, people literally make rap music for a living! Listen to it maybe.

2) “Acting”

I am begging you to stop making me sit through those horrible POVs. I cannot take another girl not quite fake crying towards the camera as she lip syncs the words from a song that apply to the random situation she decided she was in. I cannot take another boy who thinks its sexy to stare into a camera and smirk in every single situation he creates.

Back to lip syncing, making facial expressions along to words isn’t really acting. Try saying the words out loud perhaps? The inflection you use with your lines is a pretty big part of acting. Like you can lip sync all you want, just stop tagging it with #acting.

3) Comedic timing, or lack thereof

You don’t need the entire intro to sit there looking at the camera waiting until the first line starts and you can lip sync to the part that’s the joke. You could cut off at least 15 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit.

When your joke involves both reading text on screen and listening to the song for the punchline, if it isn’t done prefectly, its so difficult to follow. I can’t read a paragraph in 5 seconds. Paraphrase.

4) self deprecating artist audio

the audio thats like ‘this wont get views’ ‘I suck’ ‘you probably won’t see this anyway’ LOVE YOURSELF

It sucks when people dont enagage with your art but it sucks worse when your value in yourself and you art is based solely on receiving that validation. Please find a healthy medium.

Also you’re asking for pity, and you don’t want that. You want people who genuinely love your art for what it is.

5) editing videos is really hard how do you make such cool & smooth transitions????

please help me I don’t understand

Finally

here’s my account if you’re interested

#this long ass opinion article no one asked for #tiktok #social media #jordan talks #long post /

[decimadragonoid]

Some Musts for Artists!

As I'm typing this, it is currently midnight on April 12th during the coronavirus pandemic. We're all artists here, so let's go over a few things that we can do as like-minded people. I've been on Deviantart for nearly 6 years now. I recently started a Tumblr and a Ko-Fi to make this a fun side job. Expanding my art network and social media outlets was the name of the game throughout the years, but I thought I'd create a small journal entry or a manual somewhere midway through the process for current and newcoming artists. So, here are some tips and musts for artists that all of you can use! 1.) Practice as often as you can. - This step is pretty self-explanatory. After all, practice makes perfect. You might even unlock hidden potentials that you never thought you had before. Even if you don't feel comfortable using certain tools (e.g., the perspective ruler, mannequins, outlines), making use of them will become much easier if you ease your way into using them. For example, I've always had trouble making backgrounds while using the perspective ruler synchronously, but over time, I eased my way into using it for making settings. Now I use the perspective rulers when I'm trying to capture the essence of a room or an area outdoors. It may be hard to create characters, props, and backgrounds at first, but once you find methods you're best comfortable with, stick with your guns and flesh out your masterpieces with your own unique styles! - I also use thicker sketch lines to make characters and poses just right to accommodate my nearsightedness. I call this technique 'The XL Method.' 2.) Study and Observe from Others. - If you have a favorite show, artist, or animator you like to watch, observe how they flesh out their characters, backgrounds, settings, and stories. Using any of the listed in the last sentence as reference material is a good way to analyze the big picture and make it your own. Of course, you must remember that you're not doing this to mimic your favorite artist, but rather referring to them as a template of sorts. Don't try to stay as someone else's shadow. Your art style is created through your body and soul, not by emulating your idol. 3.) Take care of yourself. - This is probably the most important thing you must NEVER neglect as an artist and overall person. If you can't draw yet due to other responsibilities outside of being an artist, don't try to force yourself afterwards. I've personally seen artists get hounded with questions and comments like 'When's your next page coming out?', 'Finish this project up already!', and even 'I only came here for Undertale. It's the only thing that gives me life. If you stop making Undertale comics and cancel your series, I'm not gonna watch you anymore.' Every artist I follow has been pressured more than once, especially in the Undertale fandom, when they actually put a project on hold, had a desire to draw something else for a while and try new things to take a break, or had other responsibilities outside the digital realm that followers neglect to understand or just don't care about because they're so anxious to see what happens next in a story they like. With followers, some are patient and respect that the artist has other responsibilities and hobbies they'd like to attend to, and others feel like they're entitled to the next page, when really, they're not. This isn't prominent in just the Undertale fandom, but also in many others - so many in fact, that it's a hassle just to list them all. - It's important to balance your lifestyle with things you like to do. If you like to draw, by all means, do it. If you like to read, by all means, do it. If you like to hang out with friends, by all means, do it. If you like to play video games, by all means, do it. If you have to take care of yourself and put your health over everything else first, do it. Do NOT compromise! When it comes to your health and lifestyle, unless it's beneficial to you, nobody else's input matters. Your followers won't get mad at you for it, and the followers undergoing the stages of entitlement will have to shut the hell up and take a hint. You're your own person, not someone else's servant. 4.) Eat! Eat! EAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!! - Whether it's your favorite food or something jam-packed with nutritious value, eat all the food you want to eat! No artist can operate on an empty stomach. Keep your metabolism going and grab a snack, breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You want an example? Eat popcorn or sushi. Popcorn is high in fiber and helps keep your blood sugar in check as long as you don't drench it in too much butter. I also recommended sushi in this tab too. The reason is because sushi and other types of fish are high in DHA content, which stimulates brain activity and keeps your creative juices flowing. - There are other snacks that can help you stay motivated and full. Yogurt prevents diseases and enhances digestive and weight control. Bananas are high in potassium and help maintain a healthy heart. Chips and hummus go together too! Not only is hummus a good dip filled with fiber and protein, it's also filled with antioxidants! - I can go on and on about what kind of foods you can eat as an artist, but there are too many to list! I just love food THIS much! You'll be sitting here reading this tab all day if I did, so I'll leave the examples in the previous paragraphs for you. Whether it's a snack food, breakfast, lunch, or dinner, feed your body and mind, and you'll definitely make it as an artist! 5.) If you're a comic artist making an original story or building up from someone else's idea with a fanmade comic of your own, achieve total secrecy and wow your viewers later! - Yeah, I know it's great you've finished a comic page to show to your followers, and it has them craving for more. But sometimes, someone else's desire for more pages might be a little too much. Whether you're a regular artist or a comic/fancomic artist, not only is it important to balance your lifestyle, manage your time, and decide when you want to draw an art piece or the next page to your story, but it's also important to limit the amount of desire and demand you take in. - If you don't mind giving your fans spoilers, then that's okay too. But sometimes, achieving complete radio silence and being exclusive helps you get the most work done. - For example, a clothes designer named Geoffrey B. Small utilized a marketing strategy in which he made his clothing line limited and exclusive to shoppers. He doesn't want you to find his clothing. Even more so, he's not interested in being available to everybody. This makes his clothing unique and valuable to the eye of the beholder. If his clothes were found by literally everyone, it would disappoint him and jeopardize the overall exclusivity and value of his products. If your someone who doesn't want anyone to know that you're working on an art piece or a batch of comic pages that's gonna gobsmack your fans, pull a Geoffrey B. Small-esque move and don't leak any info whatsoever. - But IF you must inform your fans your project is still up and running, leave a subtle hint or a W.I.P thumbnail behind. That'll suffice. Keep your fans guessing, even if it means making them succumb to their anxiety or neediness for updates. - Limit any questions or comments you want to take in until you feel ready to reveal your big guns. You decide when you'll work on your art on your OWN terms. 6.) Allow yourself to imagine and enjoy your creative mind going wild before fleshing it out on your tablet or on paper. - Creativity is what makes literally anything in the world come to life! That's how we have the technology, video games, buildings, and other necessities in our generation today. For us artists, our most creative tool is the brain. The brain is the center of all human activity and thought. It's what allows us to imagine what happens next in our stories before we physically flesh them out on our drawing tablets or on paper. I always use my brain to generate a thought in my head that's so powerful, when I close my eyes or flesh it out every second, I can see a glimpse of it playing in my head like a roll of film filled to the brim with moving images for a movie. - It's also beneficial to write out a script, and even pretend you're a character in the story you want to create. - Flesh out your thoughts, play the track over and over again, add more thoughts, put a few funny moments into the mix, and BAM!! You've got an idea! Of course, you must also understand that unless the thought is something long-term you want to remember, you might forget some parts of your idea at first. Some ideas might be some you'll totally dislike later, and that's okay. There's always room for re-imagination and improvement. - Also take to heart that you shouldn't let your creative thoughts take over your real-life responsibilities. Those come first! - Overall, it's important to imagine and have fun going wild before physically bringing your thoughts into being. Let the creativity flow naturally. 7.) Understand you're not perfect, and neither are others. - In the wise words of Mayuri Kurotsuchi from BLEACH, 'Nothing perfect exists.' - 'If something is truly perfect, that's it. The bottom line becomes, there is no room for imagination, no space for intelligence, or ability, or improvement.' - 'Perfection is a dead end, a condition of hopelessness. Always strive to become better than everyone who came before you, but not perfect.' - You need to understand no artist or average working person in the world is perfect. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else. If you start to develop an egotistical sense of perfectionism, stop. You're not Picasso or Van Gogh. You're not better than anyone else. Neither am I. Everyone has their own ways of creating things or getting through the harsh reality of the real world. - The only thing we are is a small part of a bigger picture. We're all here to fill the gaps that plague the digital realm and society as it is today. 8.) Enjoy every minute. - The last thing an artist, viewer, average kid, and/or working adult needs to know is that if you enjoy doing something, it's worth enjoying all the way no matter what anybody else says. Have a good time. Don't let anyone take your modes of enjoyment away from you. Because at the end of the day, everything that lives is designed to end. We don't know when the time will come where we won't or can't enjoy what we love to do today anymore. So take your life and hobbies, make them the most enjoyable and memorable moments of your life, and never let them go! As an artist and overall human being, I care about my own well-being. Hell, I even care about the well-being of strangers and passersby on Deviantart, Tumblr, Ko-Fi, and real life. As such, I feel it's important to share my words of wisdom so you can read, listen, and make them your own. So remember to not only enjoy art or any other hobby or career you wish to pursue, but to never stop growing. The growth and development of the normal human being is a neverending journey, and it's one worth living well. Thank you for reading, and take care of yourselves. Stay determined, where and whoever you are... See you soon... Your friendly stranger and creative thinker, DecimaDragonoid

#words of wisdom #i care about all of you #food for thought #words to live by #artists on tumblr #people on tumblr #journal

[beihonglin]

[about subbing.]

alright y’all sit tight and buckle up, i’ve held this in for three months now but today i saw a youtube comment demanding to know why it took so long for eng subs for a certain show to come out and i think some things should be made clear. 

fan subbers are not obligated to do the subbing we do. we are people with our own lives who are busy with work and school and life. the time spent subbing takes away from our study time, our down time, or time better spent doing more productive things. 

“but wait, surely it doesn’t take that long to sub a show? i see gifs on tumblr / translated transcriptions on twitter, so i know people are capable of translating things but nobody will sub the whole episode / it takes so long for eng subs to come out.”

it takes. so. much. time. in case you’re not familiar with the process (i know i wasn’t, before joining a subbing team), i’ll walk you through it with personal examples. 

(1) obtaining the raw video: 

content is often hosted on iqiyi, youku, tencent. unlike youtube, these platforms have little to no ‘fast’ ways to download the videos. for example, iqiyi uploads their episodes as .qsv files, which, due to their non-standard format, cannot be opened in any normal multimedia player and require the use of iqiyi's proprietary software. in order to decode the file and make it usable, downloaders have to find ccodes and ckeys, which takes time. to make it worse, these ccodes and ckeys change every few weeks, which means downloaders have to go on a hunt for them all over again. 

even if you could find an online downloader for videos, video parsers such as this one often give you very little control over the quality of the video - most of the downloads end up looking like someone chewed it up and spit it out. 

this means that whoever obtains the raw video has to use methods like coding or terminal just to get the hd file, which takes time and effort. 

from here, the raw video goes to two people: the transcriber and the timer. 

(2a) transcribing the video:

this is a step i skip when i am subbing alone or when i’m subbing in a team that are all chinese-speakers, but when i’m working in a team that has typesetters who don’t speak chinese, we have to provide a transcription along with our translation so that they can match the words on screen with the translations they put in. in some teams, there are members who only transcribe, but in smaller teams, translators have to do it ourselves.

transcribing takes time - it can take anywhere from half an hour to two hours for a five minute segment, depending on how used you are to typing in that language.

(2b) timing the video:

for me, this is The Most Time Consuming part of subbing - it’s the part i dread when subbing alone. it involves making sure your subs appear at the same time as the corresponding characters on screen, and often, if your subs appear even a couple of frames off, the entire sequence will look strange to the viewer. timing involves small adjustments made over and over again just so your subs look at least presentable. 

it requires precision, which takes time. and it requires practice and being comfortable with the timing software - if you’re starting out with new software, you might take more than two hours to time a five minute segment. 

even worse is when a video comes without chinese subtitles (rip all of us who ever had to sub these) - we don’t have a frame of reference and have to decide how to time by ourselves. we have to take into account sentence length and how fast viewers can read per second, how long a clause can be before viewers forget what was in the previous clause, and we have to make these decisions in tandem with how fast the people on screen are speaking. which takes time.  

(3) translating the video:

i think this step is often what people reduce subbing to and is what most people are familiar with seeing, but i cannot stress this enough - it also takes time.

personally, i take an hour to clear five minutes worth of dialogue on a good day. and then i take additional time for the sfx captions. and then additional time to proof-read and make sure i didn’t mishear, misinterpret or mistranslate things. most of the time, interviews love using internet slang or gaming terms and for those of us who don’t game or spend most of our lives on weibo, it’s an extra step for us to search for the term, understand its meaning and the context in which it’s being used. which takes time.

when a video comes without chinese subtitles and the members on screen happen to Love Screaming Over Each Other... replaying the segment over and over again to try and hear what they’re saying takes time. and patience. and eardrum abilities. 

in a team, it also involves proof-reading each other’s work. our translations team always proof-reads each other’s segments in case we catch something the others missed out on or mistranslated, or in case semantics are awkward and we have to restructure a sentence. i’m very, very lucky in that the subbing team i’m in have different strengths - one of us is better at chinese and explaining complex phrases, one of us is good at pragmatics and catching nuances and suggesting rephrases and one of us is good at semantics and making sure things are grammatically accurate. but sometimes teams are unbalanced and it takes extra effort to make sure things still turn out in the best quality possible. 

in some cases, we can discuss one (1) word choice for a full ten minutes because there simply isn’t a phrase for it in english and we have to t/n it, or because multiple english words map to the same chinese word and choosing the wrong one will provide a wrong connotation. in other cases, we know that some scenes will be talked a lot about or giffed a lot by international fans, and we have to make sure that the translations have to be as accurate and as nuanced as possible so that nothing gets twisted. and in the worse case scenario, a wrong word choice can change a fan’s whole impression of a member. 

(4) typesetting the video: 

for dialogue subtitles, this involves finding a font that is readable by everyone and a style that will be visible against all backgrounds. it involves making sure they stay in the same place and are of the same style (all aligned left, a certain number of pixels from the bottom etc). 

for sfx captions, this involves matching your english font to the chinese font used so the scene style isn’t incongruous and matching styles like outlines and shadows so that the colour scheme remains the same. in some cases, there is no space for the sfx translation, and typesetters have to blank out the original to make the translations visible. in many cases, they move, so typesetters have to animate the text, which takes extra effort. 

for multiple-episode shows, typesetters have to make sure that the styling remains consistent and visible in all settings, which make the thought given to these choices all the more important.

in some teams, typesetters don’t speak chinese, and have to refer to transcriptions and corresponding translations to typeset correctly. this takes time. in the cases where the original video comes without chinese subtitles, typesetters have to decide in which order the noise and mayhem should appear on screen. this takes time. 

and in the first place, this assumes that you have the software to do hard-subs - something not all of us have. 

(5) encoding and posting the video:

this step takes the least effort but it still needs So Much Time - converting the aegisubs or premiere pro file into an .mp4 requires a media encoder, and adobe media encoder more or less takes three hours to encode a three hour episode. sometimes, it exports as an .mov and you have to handbrake it to get it to an .mp4 file, which takes extra time. 

uploading it on youtube also takes time - it takes an hour to get a two-hour video uploaded, and it takes another few hours for it to process so that you can publish it in 1080p. 

some of our laptops don’t have enough processing power to go through a three hour video - even encoding a half-hour episode can slow down our laptops so much they’re pretty much useless until it’s done. some of us even don’t have a media encoder on our laptops and have to run to computer labs to get it encoded. and if the closest one is on campus twenty minutes away and it’s snowing outside? good luck. 

people who gif casually or translate in blocks of text on twitter don’t have to deal with steps (2), (4) and (5), and that’s where the difference lies - even if they’re capable of translating things, the sheer amount of effort and time it takes can deter people from trying. 

in addition, most of the time, the content we sub is copyrighted so we can’t even monetise the eng subs - we get nothing out of subbing. 

the reason why we do it anyway is because we love the show or the people on the show and want to share that with an international audience. we’re fans and for some of us, that’s justification enough to put in the time and effort needed to get more love and attention for our faves. 

and that’s why we appreciate it when people ask us, “hi, would you be interested in subbing this show?” most of these requests are polite and include an “only if you want to” add-on (which frees us from the obligation to agree), and it lets us know that you’re following our faves and lets us know what kind of content you’re interested in. most of the time, most of us don’t even need a ‘thank you’ in the comments (although they are very much appreciated), because if we see comments laughing over a certain member’s actions, it means someone else is loving our faves too and to me, it makes the effort worth it. 

i understand people asking, “why does it take so long to sub?” out of curiosity, because before i joined my subbing teams, i knew nothing about the process. but going, “why is it taking so long to sub?” is different, and demanding that a show be subbed when it takes us ten hours of work to let you enjoy a twenty minute video? that’s not fair. 

tl;dr: don’t underestimate the amount of effort it takes to sub a show. subbers have their own lives and are not obligated to work on your schedule. 

if you’re still thinking about demanding subs faster, consider joining the subs team. otherwise, shut up and enjoy the fact that fans are putting in time and effort for your entertainment for free. 

#vivi yells into the void #translations #anyway i'm tired of fans complaining that things take time #especially when you don't know the subs team members personalyl #i know a lot of people complain about yhsubs not updating but one of the translators is in premed and her schedule has been Insane this year #we're in the same club and one of my friends is her roommate and i still barely see her #and to those asking about the new trainee18 show? #i'm the only one translating for it and i've been packed this semester i havent even watched past episode six #much less sub episode three

[ardentmuse]

Hello, may I request a male ship for HP, Marvel & Kingsman (if that's alright to ask for all three), please & thank you. I hope the length is alright, if not send me a message in the chat box and let me know. I’m putting it in a link to the tumblr blog with my personality description, I hope it works . LINK - The first part is shortintrovertships(.) tumblr(.) (com) (without the parentheses). Take as much time as you need, I know I asked for a lot, so I don’t mind being patient & waiting.

Hi Dear! Thanks for the super-thorough self-summary! You basically get a love story for all different stage of your life (teens, early 20s, late 20s) so we’re living some fun fantasies today :)

Lover: Peter Parker

Best Friend: Michelle (MJ)

Place of Origin: Earth, Bronx USA

Occupation: Student, Bio-med interests

Partner / Team Affiliation: Peter and Tony (and Avengers by proxy)

Powers / Abilities: N/A, just a lovely human

Equipment: Do books count?

Hobby: Video games

Peter was incredibly nervous to start another school year, specifically he was quite nervous about keeping his Spidey secret and balancing classwork with his new responsibilities. The only thing keeping him sane was that he was going to be in most of his classes with Ned and he was taking a new bio-med elective that had keep quite excited.

But when Peter arrived at the course, he was surprised to see so few faces he knew. Ned hadn’t signed up, but he had expected at least Michelle to take it. But as he looked around the room, he felt rather alone. The only open seat was sharing a lab table with you, a new transfer student coming in from a magnet school in the Bronx.

Peter took the seat and introduced himself, albeit quite awkwardly. He muttered a little under his breath at how strange he was behaving, but he couldn’t help it. You were clearly smart and quite attractive. He watched as you pulled out a variety of colored pens, each of which you organized at the top of your desk, and a lab notebook with tabs ready to go. Your level of precision and detail let him know you were going to be the perfect study partner.

Pretty soon, you were spending quite a bit of time in the library working together. For months, you were just studious work partners, pleasant and amiable but nothing more. Honestly, Peter liked being able to just be himself without any pressure to put on a cool facade for you. But one day, he had mentioned a video game he was currently playing that was only tangentially related to the problem you were working through. You immediately lit up and began rambling about your love of the game. Peter felt the warmth of your smile seep into his veins. Your passion was contagious. He invited you over to play with him, which you accepted. And Peter knew then that he had stepped in a sinkhole. A curious, friendly, excitable, easy-to-be-around attractive girl who shared his love of video games? How he hadn’t seen you as his dream girl before that moment seemed ridiculous now, but his crush hit him full and hard from that moment onward.

Aunt May was all over you when you arrived for your “date”. She was so excited to see Peter have a new friend, especially a female one. She made you dinner, asked a lot of questions about your family, another topic that had you passionate and smiling, and as a result had Peter blushing, your spirit having that sort of impact on him. May saw and made herself scarce so Peter wouldn’t be embarrassed.

As you played in his room, you were laughing and teasing each other. Peter was trying his best to be flirty but you were not processing it. Together, you were able to conquer the big boss that Peter had been struggling with for week. He lifted you up and spun you around in celebrating. And when he set you back down, you couldn’t pull your gaze from each other. With a hand on your cheek, he leaned down and kissed you. It was a quick peck, and Peter was a blushing, foolish mess afterwards and you were too. Both so embarrassed, you decided to watch a movie to keep from having to look at each other. Instead, Peter set you between his legs, your head leaning back against his chest as he reclined on his bed. You both fell asleep long before the second act of the movie. And when May came in to ask if you needed an escort home, she let you sleep, leaving the door open and calling your parents so they wouldn’t worry.

When Peter awoke with you still in his arms, he was the happiest he’d ever been. He watched you in your sleep with a smile on his face. And when you awoke, he immediately asked if you’d be his girlfriend.

Dating Peter was always enjoyable. He was a source of excitement, was incredibly supportive emotionally, and was the king of compliments. You’ve never felt more loved than you have as Peter’s girlfriend. You learned about Spider-Man on accident. Aunt May had invited you over for dinner as a surprise for Peter’s birthday, and you had been waiting in his room for him to come home when he snuck into the window clad in his suit. He had been nervous as to how you would respond, but you were honestly just so proud that he would sacrifice himself for the good for others. And so Spidey dates also became a thing, him swinging you around the city to rooftops with the best views. And May and Tony loved more than anything how much you encouraged Peter to be his best and try his hardest in all things.

Lover: Sirius Black

Best Friend: Molly Weasley

House: Hufflepuff

Family: McKinnon

Favorite Subject: Charms

Clubs / Accolades: Order of the Phoenix

Job: Misuse of Muggle Artefacts at MoM

Patronus: Hippopotamus

Sirius Black had always been a creature of great mystery to you. You had been a first year when he was a seventh and never knew each other. And then he went off to Azkaban and the reputation took hold. He was the biggest criminal in the wizarding world and you honestly avoided thinking about him and all the harm he caused. Your entire family had been murdered by death eaters so of course you avoided thinking upon the subject.

When you finished your years at Hogwarts, you joined the Ministry of Magic Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department. Arthur Weasley was your boss and mentor. And given that you had lost much of your family during the war, he often invited you to dinner at his house among his wife and children. They didn’t have much but they were always hospitable and generous. You quickly grew to love them all, bringing over a side dish every Sunday as you crashed their family get together and often babysitting the little ones.

When the war broke out in earnest, you immediately joined the efforts of the Order of the Phoenix. You were not about to let any family get torn apart the way yours had been. And that was how you met Sirius Black. At first you had been scared, given his reputation, but meeting Sirius Black was much different than you expected. You had arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place with Ginny, bringing in the latest groceries as Molly prepares a meal for that night’s meeting. And who was standing at the door to greet you but a handsome man with shaggy black hair and piercing grey eyes, a little gaunt but still strong and commanding in stature. He was striking in a much better way than you thought. He took a bag from each of you and showed you the home. He was chipper and gregarious, kind and thoughtful. You found yourself easily forgetting the reputation and simply enjoying the man for whom he was.

Many meetings allowed you to get to know each other and you became cordial acquaintances. A few times you awoke on a couch in the living room with a blanket you hadn’t had on you when you fell asleep or a cup of tea warm and waiting. You knew it was Sirius’s doing, but he never said a word.

You developed romantic feelings for the man the first time you saw him interact with Harry. He was clearly a good father figure to the boy, so gentle and honest, determined to do right by him. He was to Harry what you were to Ginny, the non-parent parent, the trustworthy, honest, reliable adult companion. Sirius was a gentle, sweet, understanding man under his highly cultivated exterior.

You had taken down Bellatrix during the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, saving Sirius’s life, he knew. That night as you helped him heal his wounds, he told you how much he admired you and how scared he had been of losing you. The honesty was so refreshing, and you somehow found yourself in his arms, clinging to each other and crying for the all the loss you were sure was able to come.

And thus your relationship began. It was hard dating amidst the war, but you found comfort in each other. Long nights spent talking kept you both sane and missions were taken together, both of you fighting hard to protect the other. You married just before things got really bad, the Weasleys, Remus, and Tonks in attendance. And when you fell pregnant, Sirius sent you away, determined to keep you and his child safe as long as he could. You already had a target on your back and a baby would only make it worse. And when you learned of the fate of the Lupins, you were secretly glad for the few months along.

A few weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts, you returned to England and gave birth to a son, whom Sirius asked rather sheepishly if he could be named Remus. In the years following, Remus gained a few siblings, all of whom Harry treated like his brothers and sisters. Molly was incredibly excited to provide all the parenting advice she could, a new brood of Blacks who supported the rights of muggle-borns to begin to repair the poor reputation generations before had cultivated.

Lover: Harry Hart

Best Friend: Merlin

Mentor: Arthur

Code Name: Vivien

Specialty: Onboarding

Dog: Dachshund

What you did before Kingsman Statesman: Translator

Vacation / Honeymoon: Singapore and other foodie destinations

When Harry Hart joined Kingsman, you had the privilege of leading his on-boarding. Your primary work with Kingsman was training and recruitment, and so every new agent that came through the door spent a few weeks with you, learning the ropes, meeting the teams, receiving their initial assignments. Harry had been just another part of your job, albeit a nice one, but nothing more. Pretty soon he was out in the field and you were back at your desk job, nothing different in your life other than the occasional smile from the attractive man as he walked by your office to go about his meetings.

That was until a particular mission required someone who could speak Japanese colloquially. Harry was the primary on the mission, coming in as a British investor in hopes of doing business with the target. But he needed a translator to come with him, particularly one that could hold their own in the field. Arthur had practically begged you to go and you hesitantly agreed. The field was not your favorite, but you understood when your skills were necessary.

For the two weeks, Harry spent every evening at your desk, working with you to prep for the mission. He was kind and generous, always bringing you a coffee or tea so you could keep your focus, consistently answering your questions and including you in all his important decision making. He treated you like a partner, a true partner, and you found yourself eager to go out into the field for the first time since your recruitment.

During the initial meeting, the target was a little too forward with you, handsy and flirtatious, making you incredibly uncomfortable. Harry was quick to react, pulling you to him and kissing your forehead, asking the man if he would kindly stop hitting on his wife. And thus all your plans were out the window and the next week you would have to spend posing as happy and in love. But honestly, it wasn’t that hard. Holding Harry’s hand, sitting a little closer, sharing hushed whispers and gentle kisses, it all seemed so natural after the past few weeks you had spent working late into the night. Come day five, you were unsure of what the two of you were actually faking.

When you returned to headquarters, you had no reason to interact anymore. A week went by without you seeing each other. But soon your boss informed you that Harry had requested that he have involvement in the next recruitment round. And the following day, Harry showed up at your desk after lunch, a drink for you in hand, and you began working again late into the night. A few days before recruits were to arrive, Harry kissed you as you worked together to prep their sleeping quarters and after the recruitment round was complete, he took you to his favorite restaurant in his hometown, the next night to see your favorite play, then his favorite gardens, and on and on it went until you married on the grounds of the Kingsman estate.

Field work became more difficult when you decided to start a family but Harry enjoyed being a father more than anything in the world. And your children were insanely well-traveled and cultured, Harry often inviting you out to whatever destination he was in once the dangerous work was over.

#ship #ships #marvel ship #mcu ship #harry potter ship #hp ship #kingsman ship #peter parker #spider-man #sirius black #harry hart

[shinelikethunder]

disconnected thoughts on fandom and the indieweb

Recently I discovered the IndieWeb project, and I... think I am a lot more intrigued by it than by other Better Social Media Platform pipe dreams and decentralization projects I’ve seen? Because it’s not a monolithic platform that has to be all things to all people, or even one that has to gain a critical mass of userbase before it’s useful for anything. It’s just a bunch of people, making sites that work for them, and banging out protocols so their sites can talk to each other and hook up to the social-media hangouts du jour.

The basic idea:

- Have a personal website, preferably a personal domain name, that is the hub for your online identity and stuff. Posts, tweets, pictures, links, reading list, events, whatever you’d normally be posting to social media. You host it, you control it, you own it. You tweak it to fit your needs, no Xkit required.

- Once the original archival copy is up on your personal site, cross-post it to whatever social media sites it belongs on. You don’t have to quit your Tumblr habit, or convince your friends to quit theirs, or give up the audience you can reach on a large site.

- Use a pingbacks-on-steroids tool to collect all the responses (likes, reblogs, comments, etc) from the various sites you’ve cross-posted to. Ideally, display them at the bottom of the post back on your website.

As an idea, I like it a lot. In practice, a lot depends on what tools are already available, how useable they are, how capable you are of coding/templating/configuring to fill in the gaps, and how difficult large sites make it to push/pull from them automatically. That’s pretty much what I’m interested in exploring in the near future, for my own use if nothing else. I already have most of my Tumblr content backed up to a Wordpress install on my own shared hosting account, so I’m kinda curious see how much IndieWeb compatibility I can manage using plugins and template tweaks.

Indieweb and fandom:

As a potential tool for fandom to wean ourselves off the various hellsites we’ve inhabited over the years... okay, it’s an interesting thought. One with lots of unanswered questions, but interesting.

Lots of unanswered questions, so the rest of this is going under a cut.

- Upside: I know a lot of older fans are still nostalgic about the early blogosphere and even--heaven forfend--the Geocities days. Many things about them were shit, but the archipelago of personal fan shrines, indie blogs, having a personal site with a personal archive of your work, etc. was awesome. And the “own your own creations” ethos fits in nicely with AO3′s “we have to own the servers” philosophy.

- Enabling factor: Fandom builds and customizes stuff like crazy. Yes, including the younger generations who weren’t around for the “build it yourself” days and seem to think AO3 burst fully formed out of the forehead of a long-lost deity. What, you haven’t noticed that even on a hobbled hellsite like Tumblr, teenagers are using the relative freedom of the theme system to spontaneously rediscover all the sins of Geocities web design? (I rib with affection, as someone who definitely had a page with flaming torch gifs and a sparklecursor back in 2001.) Full, out-of-the-box, point-and-click setup is necessary to get fandom to adopt something in any decent numbers. But once we’re there, a disproportionate number of us start tinkering with anything that’s customizable, and when someone with actual coding skills comes out with a useful tool to supplement missing capabilities, it spreads like wildfire.

- Gaps and directions to expand: Indieweb principles include “scratch your own itches,” so here are my itches, which I’m going to shamelessly project onto fandom at large.

Import--needs rock solid LiveJournal-clone and Tumblr support if your site is to serve as an archive. I don’t know if there even is a working Wordpress plugin to import from LJ or Dreamwidth. The best-supported Tumblr->Wordpress importer is actually better than most standalone Tumblr backup tools, but it still mangles video posts/embeds. It’d also be cool to have import tools for AO3, Deviantart, and other major fanwork repositories.

Once your Tumblr posts are in, there's no way to automate the very first thing I’d want to do upon liberating my data from the vise-like jaws of What Tumblr Wants You To Do With Its Site: separate out posts I created, posts I added comments to, and posts I just shared via reblog. A nice addition would be the ability to copy Tumblr tags to a metadata field that’s separate from Wordpress tags--WP tags tend to be organizational, whereas on Tumblr, tags are often a sidechannel for comments that don’t propagate on reblog, thus filled with all sorts of crap.

On that note, Itch #3 is mass-organization tools. Select all posts that fit certain criteria and do a mass edit on their tags, categories, post types, or other taxonomy data. Lots of fandom folks have years or decades worth of content from various sites, making organizational tasks highly impractical to do manually. I’ve dicked around with a few Wordpress mass-edit plugins, but none of them seemed to work that well.

Not sure how well the existing backfeed tools support Tumblr notes, but for fandom to bite, the Tumblr support oughta be pretty damn slick. And the cross-posting should ideally support all the features of a native Tumblr post, because by god, we will use them, and we will notice if an expected one is missing. I can spot IFTTT cross-posts from AO3 without even reading text, and tbh my eyes usually skip right over them, unfair as that may be.

If this project extends to feed readers/aggregators, the embrace of multi-site cross-posting implies a need for deduplication. Preferably getting rid of Tumblr’s charming “barf the full post back out onto your dashboard every time someone you’re following shares/responds to it” behavior in the process. For fandom use, it’ll need a blacklist feature. And I’d love some more heavy-duty filtering, selective subscriptions (like to just one tag of a blog), creating multiple feeds based on topic or on how much firehose you want...

This may be a personal itch, but at least for personal archiving needs, I’m sick, sick, sick of the recency bias that’s eaten the internet since the first stirrings of Web 2.0. Wikis are practically the only sites that have escaped chronological organization. It would be cool to have easily-manipulated collections with non-kludgey support for series ordering, order-by-popularity, order-by-popularity with a manual bump for posts you want to highlight, hell even alphabetical ordering. None of these things are remotely unsolved problems, but they’re poorly supported on the social-media silos most people’s content lives on these days. Fandom’s suffered from this since at least the days of LiveJournal, which had the ominous beginnings of what’s since become the Tumblr Memory Hole. Relentless chronological ordering + the signal-to-noise ratio of any space with regular social interaction = greatest hits falling down the memory hole unless a community practices extensive manual cataloguing. Hell, LJ fandom did practice extensive manual cataloguing, but even within that silo, there was so much decentralization that content discovery was shit if you didn’t know the right accounts to search through. Like, fuck, at least forums bump threads to the top if they’re still active--LJ and blogs have the same "best conversation evar falls inexorably off the map as new posts are added, no matter how active it is” problem that InsideTheWeb forums did in 1999. (Anyone else remember InsideTheWeb? AKA 13-year-old me’s first experience with platform shutdown, frantic archiving attempts, and massive data loss. Fun times.) Tumblr and Twitter, meanwhile, spam you with duplicates of the original post every time someone you’re following replies to/shares it, a key component of the endless firehose of noise drowning out any attempt to hang on to the signal.

All those itches are things I could probably code myself if I got a stubborn enough bee in my bonnet, which might well happen. On the other hand, I have some deeper doubts, ones that aren’t going to get addressed by Wordpress plugins or shiny backfeed support:

The whole concept of IndieWeb fails to address (and might even worsen) what I suspect is the core dysfunction of social media. Which is the degradation of community spaces, and their replacement with a hopeless snarl where all content lives in individual accounts. There are a lot of weird effects that arise when the “social” sphere is built entirely upon the one-on-one connections created when someone subscribes to another account or gives someone else permission to view their restricted posts. Echo chambers, shame mobs, out-of-context remarks going viral, popular accounts setting off harassment storms whenever they disagree with someone, the difficulty of debunking hoaxes once they’re out in the wild... all of those are either created or made much, much worse by the lack of any reasonable, stable, shared expectation of who a post’s audience is.

Basically, if “own your content and host it on your site” also applies to your comments, interactions, etc, it starts running counter to one of the strengths of the Old Web. Which was community contexts where you explicitly weren’t posting to your own space or addressing everyone who might be looking at the main clearinghouse of all your different stuff. You were posting to the commons shared by a particular group with a particular culture and interests, not all of whom were people you’d necessarily want to follow outside that limited context, some of whom you might disagree with or dislike, but in any case you knew what audience you were broadcasting to. You knew what the conversation was, how similar conversations had gone in the past, and the reputations of all the main participants--not just the ones you yourself would subscribe to and the ones attention-grabbing enough to get shared by the people on your subscription list. And you weren’t spamming all your other acquaintances with chatter on a topic they weren’t interested in.

Shared spaces can also establish whatever social norms they need and moderate accordingly. (Plus, plurality of spaces = plurality of norms for different needs, which would solve a LOT of what’s currently ailing fandom.) Peaceable enforcement of a code of conduct, beyond the “minimum viable standard” sitewide abuse policy, is fundamentally impossible on social media, where individual muting is the closest thing you can get to moderation. That + unstable audience = any social norms that exist are so unenforceable it turns people into frothing shame-mob zealots, ratcheting up the coercive pressure on everyone the more it fails to work on the handful of unrepentant assholes who would’ve been permabanned from any self-respecting forum within a week. Moving onto personal sites with beefed up syndication/backfeed capabilities ain’t gonna fix that. Meanwhile the truly heinous dickweeds who’d ordinarily run afoul of the sitewide abuse policy will have the same capabilities, minus any risk of getting banned.

If there haven’t already been epic drama meltdowns caused by the “reply in your own space by making your own post, which includes a copy of the original post for context” model... it’s only a matter of time. You don’t even need malicious actors, just a human conflict where one party has overprotective subscribers. Or information turns out to be faulty and in need of correction. Or an argumentative type stumbles on the permalink of an acrimonious reply post that was actually resolved amicably several replies downthread. Or someone edits an apology into their controversial post and someone who’s been attacking it refuses to update their copy because tilting at strawmen is more fun. Or someone tries to make an embarrassing post go away by deletion and their co-conversationists don’t cooperate. Tumblr’s “reply by reposting in your own space and adding commentary” system already spawns endless floods of drama and misunderstanding, and that’s a system with some limits on the participants’ control, and relatively disposable accounts/identities if the shit hits the fan.

Basically, I’m all for personal websites as archives of your creations, but seriously dubious of them as archives of your interactions. Especially if the interactions aren’t well-segregated from the regular content feed that goes out to everyone who follows you. Yes, abuses of moderator power when interaction is all taking place on a site the mod controls are a thing. But if those sites are an archipelago of indie spaces rather than a monolithic platform, shitty mods don’t thwart the development of a healthy social ecosystem, they just drive everyone away to a competing space whose mod sucks less.

(Private/access-restricted archives of your interactions might be a compromise? You still have your stuff in case the other site goes down, but it’s not out there replicating the ill effects of the Tumblr reblog-to-respond model.)

Leaving aside all that, the IndieAuth component--using personal sites as stable identities you can log in with--is just as workable for community platforms as it is for cross-blog commenting. Proliferation of unlinkable accounts was one of the downfalls of forums, after all. That said, one potential point of friction is that fandom is far more pseudonym-centric than the devs and tech hobbyists who’ve coalesced around IndieWeb so far. But stable pseuds with years of reputation behind them have social effects that resemble real names more than anything else, so as potential culture clashes go, I’d hope that’s fairly surmountable.

As noted in the musings on LiveJournal archiving above: CONTENT DISCOVERY IS A BITCH IN DECENTRALIZED COMMUNITIES and that’s a major stumbling block for fandom. OTOH, platform-agnostic protocols with customization potential = room for experimentation with independently-run discovery/search/tagging layers. (Life goals: stay uncool enough that my “Like Uber, but for ___” elevator pitch ends up being “It’s like Technorati, but for fanfiction of Kirk drilling Spock.”)

Okay, that’s it, jesus christ it’s time for me to go to bed.

[aetherscribe-blog]

How to Slay your Writer’s Block

Tackling that blank page on your computer screen, but not literally.

   It’s undoubtedly one of the biggest problems of a writer to face in the wondrous yet traitorous world of novel-writing. Why traitorous, you ask? Well how else can you describe the feeling of doing a mundane task, striking upon a brilliant idea when you least expect it, make note of it and then firing up your computer and then...

   ...doing nothing. “Is there something wrong with me?” you ask yourself, “Do I not have enough of an idea to begin writing?”. After a while, you decide that must be the problem and in an attempt to make the firing up of you computer not feel like a waste of time, you watch cat videos or tweet something. Hey, maybe that’s why you’re here right now reading this post.

   Most people who cover this subject would be telling you to “stop looking at Tumblr and get writing!” by this point but don’t worry, for I am a merciful teacher. I understand like you that this does not help you write because I have been there myself. It just irritates you more, right? Instead, I’m going to give you some straight-up constructive advice that I’ve accumulated from my own experiences on how to stop thinking about that book you’re going to write and to just write it!

1. Give yourself a Deadline. Now this sounds intimidating as all hell but don’t despair! You can’t fire yourself when you’re your own boss and it’s surprisingly fun to give yourself anything from ten minutes to half an hour to write whatever comes into your head. You find that as soon as you set that alarm on your phone that your “inner editor”, the culprit behind your self-doubtful writing all this time, has been erstwhile booted out the window to make space for the serious writing that’s about to go down! Just remember that the number of words you want to write need to be proportionate to the amount of time given - if you give yourself too long a deadline for a short story then the pressure simply will not be on. (Bonus: If you still have trouble with writing using a deadline, try using a writing prompt too!)

2. Your story is unique and the world needs it! This is the worst one for me personally to suffer, that moment when you’ve thought long and hard about a story idea only to realise it shares a lot of similarities with one of your favourite movies, TV shows or another book. Self-doubt creeps in or even worse, you see yourself as a rip-off. This is not true! It’s partially true when somebody says that there are no original story ideas anymore but then, how long has that been true for? The Hobbit and Star Wars: A New Hope share huge similarities in basic story and yet neither of them can be counted as stealing the other’s story. Don’t be dissuaded by somebody doing a better job, write it anyway and be damned! The world needs your book and it ain’t gonna write itself!

3. Imagine your story like a Cat. Legendary American writer Ray Bradbury once said that he treats his stories the same way he treats a cat. If he tries to pick it up, it’ll move away. So instead, he ignores it and does something else until the cat wonders why it’s being ignored, and goes over to him only to put itself in the position to be snatched up when it least expects it.    You are not a slave to your writing. Most of the time, if you find that you cannot force yourself to write that story then there’s a problem - you’re forcing yourself. The art of writing is enjoyable and incredibly satisfying and so it shouldn’t feel like slave labour. Get comfortable, grab yourself a coffee or any other drink you like, fire up your computer and just take it easy, acknowledge that you shouldn’t have to do a running jump into your blank page because anybody who does usually feels like they have something to make up for. This is not a contest, this is your art and good art cannot be rushed. If in doubt, let the cat come to you.

4. Don’t do it just for the money. It’s okay to love writing so much that you want to make it into your job but it’s not healthy to think about that until after you’ve released some material. When you’re working on finally writing that first story that you want to become a bestseller, money or fame is a poor motivation compared to the fire that is already burning in your soul.    This isn’t because it’s immoral to put money first, which is never necessarily true, but because when somebody is writing with money in mind, they’re so hung up on what people will pay money to read that it actually hampers their ability to write something they’re passionate about. It’s okay to follow the trend but it’s not healthy to simply be a slave to the trend. Some of the most classic books went against the grain and ended up creating their own trends altogether! Write what you want to write, not what the world wants you to write and usually, you find that this allows the floodgates of your imagination to run free again.

5. Kill Your Darling. Put the kitchen knife down, that’s not what I mean. The term “killing your darlings” is a writing slur that refers to a situation where you have to cut out a scene that you love but does not help the story in any way. We’re supersizing it for this one, though, as sometimes my mind has been so hung up on a single story idea that I love but never gets on the page. When you struggle, if all else fails, take a good, hard and unbiased look at your story idea. Can you really get a story out of this or is it just a cool idea that lacks substance?    If you find that the story is lacking, it most likely pays to discard the idea from the possibility of becoming it’s own story, no matter how much it hurts. Doing this frees up enough processing power to either make way for the next idea in the queue or to even simply take a much needed break from your writing. But it’s okay! The idea may be dead but it’s not forgotten. The old saying “The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts” serves you well for that idea may come back as a guest star in one of your later projects. The story I am writing right now is an amalgamation of at least three discarded ideas from my past coming together to become something far more likely to make it as a team!

   Hopefully the pointers here have helped you to bring down your lack of motivation or self-esteem and if my specific methods didn’t work, it’s okay! You’ll work it out with or without anybody’s help, all I can hope to do is to speed up that process because quite frankly, your book sounds great and I need a new story to read! ^_^’ Happy writing!

- CR

(PS, I noticed looking through this that I mention cats a lot. I’m not a crazy cat person, just highly coincidental. Honest!) *Strokes a cat Bond-villain style”

#hints and tips #writing advice #writer's block #just do it #tumblr #cats #all the cats #so many damn cats #okay just two cats #deadline #inner editor #writing prompts #prompts #tv shows #movies #books #book blog #writing blog #writers #the hobbit #star wars #the hero's journey #ray bradbury #killing your darlings #self-doubt #self-esteem #confidence #motivation #motivational #creative writing

[nettvnow-blog]

How Web Series Became My Thing

When I was a kid, I forced my friend Maddie to make with me what I referred to as a television show. We filmed a mostly-improv “comedy” about two puppets with my family’s camera more often used for home movies. In a sense, this was my first web series, though no one saw it outside of my parents.

I say “when I was a kid”, but most people would probably say I still am. I’m 18-years-old, and just about to graduate from high school. My whole life, I’ve been driven by a basic desire; when I consume media I enjoy, I want to create something like it. Reading a good book? I have a sudden desire to become an author. Watching a musical? I’m plotting out my own during the intermission. This way of thinking had never amounted to much. My brain tends to move from one thing to another far too quickly. When I found something that stuck, I knew I’d stumbled upon something really important; what I wanted to do with my life.

Discovering The Chris Gethard Show in the summer of 2013, lonely, depressed, 14-year-old Jules absolutely fell in love. TCGS was a variety television show on public access TV in New York City, but most of the fans found it through the internet, watching the livestream when it aired. The show was full of absurd comedy that felt like it truly came from people happy to be there with each other. I dreamt of getting involved in the community, maybe even interning for the show, but though I attended multiple tapings of the show and joined a chat room dedicated to it, I never really felt like I belonged.

We’re getting to web series, don’t worry.

As my interest turned towards video content, my desire became to make a television show or movie. My parents, seeing this and desperately trying to find a way for me to socialize, signed me up for a one-week film class in the summer of 2014. I didn’t get much out of it from the teachers, but I made one very good friend, Simona, who told me about a web series airing at the time that she was absolutely obsessed with, the web series Nothing Much To Do.

I caught up on NMTD in a night, and continued to watch until the end. I’d watched The Lizzie Bennet Diaries during my Vlogbrothers phase, but it didn’t really stick with me as something I could potentially do myself, mostly due to how professional it seemed. NMTD was of the same type of show as The Lizzie Bennet Diaries - a vlog-style web series inspired by a work of literature - but it was made by teens just like me! Older teens, sure, but teens! Once again, my brain returned to that desire; I wanted to make something like it.

I bought a $200 camcorder and made a post on Tumblr asking if anybody wanted to help with a NMTD-esque adaptation of As You Like It, my favorite Shakespeare play. I got two responses, fellow NMTD fans Sarah and Julia, and together we wrote the 50 episode series Like, As It Is though a Google Doc. Then, I stretched my resources as far as I could to find a cast, mostly through old friends or casting websites, and from January to August of 2015 I filmed the entirety of Like, As It Is.

Looking back at 16-year-old Jules running an entire production by herself, I think I must be insane. Like, As It Is was truly a test of my ability to keep my brain in check and not back down, which was ridiculous because I was just leaving the worst mental health period of my life. I could barely interact with my classmates in high school, but there I was, managing a cast. Actors dropped out, or worse, turned out to be way older than they said they were in their acting bios, creating many uncomfortable situations where I had to tell someone they just couldn’t play a 16-year-old. I filmed almost the entire series in my family home. Everything was difficult, and nothing worked out.

But there I was, at the end of August of 2015, with an entire series filmed and edited. I posted it online to a much smaller audience than I’d hope for, but I’d done it. Immediately, I wanted to do it again.

I got a better camera for Christmas, wrote another script, this time an adaptation of Twelfth Night written entirely by myself, and that December my next production began. I was addicted. This new series, Twelfth Grade (or Whatever), had as rough, if not more difficult, a production process as Like, As It Is. But Twelfth Grade looked and felt better than the series I’d filmed before, and the internet must have thought so as well. The first episode of Twelfth Grade is approaching 5,000 views on YouTube, with most of the episodes approaching 2,000. I am so incredibly proud of the work the actors and myself did on Twelfth Grade, and the relative success of the series did nothing to stave off my addiction to making web series.

I’ve worked on two more web series since then; The Uncanny Upshurs, a continent-spanning original series, and The Emma Agenda, a modern adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma. This fall I’m going to college, and I’m likely to study film. Discovering the world of web series has absolutely changed my life. I’ve found something I love to do, and I’ve got the means to do it. I’m still socially awkward, sure, but I’m finally part of a community.

And if I’m a little bit obsessed, who cares? My obsession is with making stuff, and that is what I’m doing. In the end, I think that’s all that matters.

Meet the Author Jules Pigott is a student filmmaker and writer from New York City. She has written, directed, and edited for numerous web series, including Twelfth Grade (or Whatever), The Uncanny Upshurs and The Emma Agenda. Jules co-founded the group Quip Modest Productions, which is dedicated to telling stories through an online platform. One time, she did stand up comedy dressed as a reindeer.

#Jules Pigott #LIW #The Uncanny Upshurs #The Emma Agenda #Like As It Is #Twelfth Grade (or Whatever) #The Lizzie Bennet Diaries #Nothing Much To Do

[welllpthisishappening]

Out of the Frying Pan (27/?)

“You said it was an old habit, waking up early. I just figured it was a Navy thing. Get out and swab the decks or whatever you do on a boat in the morning.” “I have never swabbed a deck in my entire life. And it’s a ship, Swan. We’ve been over this.”

“Really? That’s disappointing. I had this whole picture in my head. You with a mop and a bucket and a uniform.” He laughed, smile threatening to permanently stretch the muscles in his face and shook his head. “Officers don’t swab.” “Ah, of course.”

AN: I love all of you a lot and I love your response to this story and it constantly blows my mind. I also love @laurnorder for reading all my words - just like so many words - and @distant-rose for making this look just gorg and also listening to so many of my words. They’re the best. 

Living it up on Ao3 and tag’ed up on Tumblr. 

She was still asleep.

He could tell.

And that seemed like a fairly big deal. One he didn’t need to try and tackle at 7:30 in the morning. He should go back to sleep. His alarm wasn’t set to go off for another half an hour, but there was something about REM sleep and waking up in the middle of it and how that would make him more tired and Emma was still asleep in his arms and he couldn’t quite bring himself to close his eyes when she was just half an inch away from him. REM sleep be damned. He tugged her closer, trying to make sure he didn’t actually wake her up in the process and fuck if that didn’t wake him up – the evidence of that pressed up against her thigh and maybe this hadn’t been the best idea.

It had been his idea.

And it had seemed like the greatest idea in the history of mankind the night before – Henry more than willing to spend the night with David and Mary Margaret, cries of video games and popcorn with caramel sauce dumped on it and not even a second thought as to why Killian wanted him otherwise occupied.

And it was absolutely selfish – because he wanted Emma back in his bed more than he cared to admit, bordering on childish frustration when she wasn’t there, finding it more and more difficult to actually fall asleep when he couldn’t hear the sounds of her even breathing next to him or the smell of that vanilla body wash she seemed to be obsessed with lingering on his sheets.

He wanted her there.

He wanted her.

He loved her.

That was probably closer to the point.

Fuck.

He loved her.

She breathed deeper, head pushed into the pillow and hair threatening to brush across his entire face and Killian’s hand tightened around her waist instinctively, fingers brushing over her stomach. She was awake.

And he felt like an ass.

Emma groaned softly and he should have moved away, should have put, at least a mile of space in between them because he couldn’t thinkwhen she did that, let alone control the way his body seemed to naturally react to the sound, but he was a selfish asshole and he didn’t move an inch, just let her burrow closer against him.

“What time is it?” she asked softly, voice still a bit gravely with the sleep that clung to it and if it wasn’t the most attractive thing he’d ever heard, he wasn’t sure what was.

“Still early,” he answered, fingers dancing across her skin now and she made that noise again and Killian swore he could hear her smile.

She twisted slightly, hair tangling underneath her as she moved to face him and Killian had to bite his lip tightly as her leg draped across his. Emma grinned at him, eyes bright despite announcements of how early it still was and maybe this was a good idea.

“Why didn’t you go back to sleep?” she asked and he wondered when she’d developed the ability to read his mind.

Or maybe she just knew him and that seemed to light a tiny fire in the core of his being, adding to the inferno that was how much he absolutely wanted her.

“Old habits,” he said, trying to brush by the vaguely depressing potential of this conversation. “And something about REM sleep and how it’s worse to fall back asleep and hit REM and then wake up and…” And he didn’t finish.

She pulled him closer to him, one hand in his hair and the other wrapped around the top of his thigh and he couldn’t come up with a single coherent thought, let alone any kind of excuse about REM sleep.

He pulled her around, yanking her up over his body and that might have been a mistake, because there was absolutely no way to hide anythinglike that – neither one of them wearing many clothes – but Emma didn’t seem to care, which might have made him fall in love with her even more.

And when she reached her hand down, pushing fabric out of her way with a determination that shocked him just a bit at 7:30 in the morning, he might have actually burst into flames.

She laughed softly, rolling her hips against his when she sat up, practically tearing the t-shirt she was wearing off, tossing the thing over her shoulder before ducking her head back down and kissing him. And he might have actually growled when she moved.

Fuck.

It was a bit of a balancing act, trying to get the rest of their clothes off – made all the more difficult by the rather useless left side of his body, his prosthetic sitting next the ancient alarm clock on his nightstand. She tugged on the waistband of his boxers, making her intent clear without actually saying words – a fact Killian was thankful for since he was enjoying the way her tongue felt along his bottom lip quite a bit – and he canted his hips up slightly, making her gasp when he brushed against her, letting her yank the fabric off his hips, pushing it as far down his thighs as she could reach.

He kicked the rest of it off, trying to shake it off his ankle when it caught there.

Emma laughed softly, pulling her lips away from his and the sound shot through him like nothing he’d ever heard before and fuck he should tell her – how she’d landed in the middle of his life and changed everything and how he’d found himself believing in things again. He believed in her. And he’d do anything to make sure she knew it.

It was melodramatic and sentimental and it seemed a bit overwhelming for some kind of real-world relationship that still wasn’t entirely honest, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He loved her and he wanted her and he’d fight for this until he couldn’t see straight.

She’d become the most important thing in his entire life in the span of four and a half months.

Emma groaned again – the sound snapping him back to the present and the feel of her on top of him, thighs gripping either side of his hips like she was trying to keep herself upright – and she was wearing far too many clothes.

He moved his hand away from her hip, pulling her head back down to him with his hand stuffed in her hair and the smell of vanilla around him. And as soon as her lips met his, he flipped them, enjoying the soft gasp when she found herself on her back and his hand in between her legs, tugging on fabric he appreciated the night before, but, suddenly, found incredibly inconvenient.

“Fuck,” Killian groaned, head falling forward to rest against her forehead when he found that she wanted him just as much he wanted her, the realization making his heart thud against his ribcage painfully.

Emma’s laugh was shaky, almost nervous and that wasn’t right – this was good.  This was a good thing. The best thing. He lifted his head, eyes meeting hers and he was almost taken aback by how open they were – bright green and full of the kind of raw emotion he seemed to feel in every single corner of his body.

He should tell her.

And then never say anything else.

He should tell her he loved her, whisper it in her ear or shout it or chant it like some sort of mantra that might erase the worry in her gaze and the questions in the way her body tensed underneath him.

He didn’t.

Because that seemed like pushing and it was only four and a half months and he shouldn’t be feeling like he did – like he found it.  some sort of happy ending that he hadn’t actually realized he’d been waiting for. And he wasn’t going to scare her away.

So he didn’t tell her – because he was a selfish asshole who couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving again.

So he kissed her instead, trying to pour every thought and promise and unspoken I love you into the movement and Emma relaxed, hand cupping the side of his jaw as her hips pushed up into his, making both of them groan.

He tried to move, reach for the nightstand and the drawer and the responsibility there, but Emma’s hand dropped back down, fingers brushing across his hip bone and further down, wrapping around him and he couldn’t think about anything except the way she felt. Killian mumbled something that might have been another fuck,  hissed out between his teeth and eyes squeezed shut as Emma’s lips brushed against the side of his jaw, taking over where her hand had been.

“It’s ok,” she said softly and the room must have been on fire. The stupid oven in his kitchen must have, finally, caught on fire and now the flames had made their way to his bedroom and everything was in flames.

Or maybe that was just him. And her hand hadn’t moved an inch, thumb rubbing small, maddening circles against him

“What?” Killian asked, managing to choke out the word.

“It’s ok,” Emma repeated. “I mean, if you want…” “Emma,” he said seriously, trying to keep his mind focused on anything but her lips or her hand or how warm her entire body was. Her eyes darkened for a moment and the nerves were back and he realized what she was doing – should have realized as soon as the words left her mouth – trying to pull down some of those walls, to give something and, God, if he didn’t love her more than anything in the entire world.

He nodded slowly. “Of course I do.” Her shoulders heaved slightly with the sound of her quiet sigh and he pressed his lips against hers, moving across her cheeks and forehead and eyelids as he tried to burn the soft sounds she made into the back of his mind for the rest of time. “I just want…” she said, cutting herself off before she could finish.

“What, love? What do you want?”

“You. I want you.” And that was enough – the fire that had been burning his apartment to the ground just a few moments before, surging through his entire body as he moved up and both of them groaned again when their bodies met.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t breathe.

The only thing he could do was feel and want and try to make sure this didn’t end before it ever really began.

“Killian,” Emma said, the crack in her voice adding fuel to the metaphorical fire. “You’ve got to move.”

He laughed softly, pressing his head into the crook of her neck and biting softly and that sound was going to be the death of him. But he did what she said, moving as slowly as he could, trying to maintain the last vestiges of his control and it was a fine line to walk because there wasn’t really that much control to begin with.

She was mumbling something in his ear and he should pay more attention, should have focused on the sound of her voice or what she was saying, but he was too wrapped up in the way she felt and how absolutely consumed he was by her.

He should have put the prosthetic back on he thought suddenly, should have done everything he could have to be whole and good enough that he would have almost been able to use two hands to touch her. Killian felt his breath catch in his lungs slightly, the frustration weighing down on him like an anvil and Emma’s head moved, meeting his gaze with questions written across her face.

He tried to move, to keep his left arm away from her body and out of her sight, the scars that ran the length of his wrist brighter than normal against the rest of his skin, like they were taunting him and everything he wasn’t.

And he knew the moment she realized, green flashing across his body to the place where his hand should have been and a small smile on her face when she moved her hand, fingers trailing across a scar.

“Don’t do that,” she whispered, not letting go of his arm as she tugged it closer to her.

“Don’t do what?” “Don’t try and hide. You don’t have to.”

“Swan,” Killian sighed, but she just shook her head, hips arching up again and he couldn’t come up with another word to argue.

“I said I wanted you. That was all of you, no matter what.”

Her voice echoed in his head when he moved, surging back up to catch her lips with his and she laughed against his mouth – a giddy, emotional sound that seemed to shoot straight to his core.

Killian wasn’t a saint – the rumors about him at the network were far from true, but he hadn’t been completely alone since Milah. But this was different. This was everything and then some. Because she wanted him and he wanted her more than anything, willing to show her everything and give her everything and be everything.

Fuck.

He loved her an absolutely obscene amount.

She hummed against him and if there wasn’t a fire before, there was certainly some form of electricity because it felt like his entire body was buzzing, trying to work his fingers in between them. “Killian,” Emma sighed and he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound, nodding against her as he pressed his thumb down.

She gasped and her whole body tightened around his and he was gone moments later, hips moving of their own accord until he felt like every muscle in his body had given up, not quite able to hold up his weight.

Killian tried not to collapse on top of her, but that was harder to do when Emma was kissing the side of his neck, hand in his hair and he could feel her smile on his skin. “Is that how you normally woke up?” she asked softly, a laugh on the edge of her voice.

He rolled to the side, propping his head up on his right hand and raising one eyebrow at her. She met his gaze with an easy confidence and comfort that made him certain this had been the best idea in the history of mankind. “What?” he asked, the word as breathless as he still felt.

“You said it was an old habit, waking up early. I just figured it was a Navy thing. Get out and swab the decks or whatever you do on a boat in the morning.” “I have never swabbed a deck in my entire life. And it’s a ship, Swan. We’ve been over this.”

“Really? That’s disappointing. I had this whole picture in my head. You with a mop and a bucket and a uniform.” He laughed, smile threatening to permanently stretch the muscles in his face and shook his head. “Officers don’t swab.” “Ah, of course.” And it shouldn’t be this simple – shouldn’t be this easy to talk to her about everything, the Navy and ships and swabbing decks. But it was. It was normal and comfortable and that inferno now felt like a tiny little flame in the pit of his stomach that seemed to come to life every time she smiled at him.

“Was there a uniform though?” Emma asked, sliding closer to him and resting her hand on his hip.

“There was,” he said, eyes narrowing at the thought of where this was going. “Several, depending on what you were doing.” “I bet you looked good in dress whites,” she mumbled, like she was thinking it and her eyes went wide when she realized what she had said. His stomach flipped at that, eyebrows shooting up his forehead.

“Of course I did,” Killian said, trying to keep his voice confident.

Emma breathed easier for a moment, teeth tugging on her lower lip in a way that shouldn’t be nearly as arousing as it was, particularly considering the topic of their conversation. “I’m sorry for bringing it up,” she said softly, hand tightening a fraction of an inch.

“Don’t be, Swan.” And it surprised him how much he meant it. He almost didn’t mind. It was – still – as much a part of him as the lack of his hand and the distinct lack of confidence he regularly tried to mask with over-the-top bravado and she’d seen through all of that. There was no point in not letting her see this too. “Unfortunately,” he continued, bending his head so he was hovering on top of her again, lips moving across her collarbone and down her chest. “They tend to make you turn those kinds of things in when they kick you out. Seems a shame now, though.”

“Why?” she asked and Killian appreciated the way she sighed out the question.

“Because,” he said, peppering kisses on her skin in between every word. “If I’d known you were so attracted to the uniform, I would have prepared better for this moment.” Her body shook with laughter underneath him and she smacked at his shoulder slightly before sighing again when his teeth nipped along her collarbone and that was absolutely going to leave a mark. And he absolutely didn’t care. He hoped it did.

They were treading on dangerous territory – knocking on the door of repeating earlier actions and he could feel his body start to react to the feel of her fingers across his spine, fingertips brushing down his back.

His alarm clock went off.

Loudly.

And Emma yelped, jumping a bit out the sound and pushing her body into his and making him groan. “Sorry, sorry,” she muttered as he leaned to the side, smashing his hand on top of the machine.

“It’s probably for the best,” Killian admitted, rolling back over and pulling himself to the side of the bed. “They’ll kill us if we’re late.”

“Zelena did say we could play this,” Emma argued, swinging her legs onto the floor.

“Somehow I don’t think this is what she meant.”

“Probably not,” she laughed, standing up and it took every ounce of his will power not to pull her back down to him, the sight of her in front of him enough to make the blood rush from his head. “I’m going to go take a shower.” Killian nodded slowly, eyes a bit out of focus as she walked towards the door. “That was also an invitation,” she said, glancing back at him over her shoulder with a smile on her face.

He didn’t need to be told twice, all but sprinting towards her and tugging her down the hallway towards the bathroom.

They were ten minutes late.

Ruby laughed when they walked onto set together – rushed through their respective pre-shoot hair and makeup routines – and Regina rolled her eyes, grumbling about schedules and responsibility and planning.

And Emma was blushing.

They were stationed next to each other – and Killian knew that was part of Zelena’s plan to play this out in front of cameras – but he couldn’t bring himself to be frustrated, not when he couldn’t get the picture of Emma Swan pressed up against the side of his shower out of his mind every time he closed his eyes.

Regina was explaining the rules and he should have listened, but he didn’t, eyes darting towards Emma’s more often than not, pulling away quickly as soon as she looked his direction – like they were in eighth grade and not the vaguely responsible adults who had spent the entire morning memorizing each other.

He thought he remembered Regina saying something about how this would be different than actual Cupcake Wars, as if he knew what actual Cupcake Wars entailed, but he had, at least, a quarter of a plan, and that was all he really needed.

Someone out of frame shouted time and three other chefs moved – Killian stayed rooted to his spot, not entirely sure what it was he was supposed to be baking.

“You look a little shell-shocked,” Emma said, head turned towards him as she cracked eggs into a bowl, a whisk stuffed into the back pocket of her jeans.

“I wasn’t really paying attention.” “I noticed that.” Killian rolled his eyes, bending to grab a mixer from underneath his station. “Luckily for you, they’ve taken pity on us poor non-bakers and we’ve only got to make a classic cupcake for the first round. Which is something you could probably do in your sleep, so, get mixing. Unless you’d like to stare at me some more.” He flashed his eyes towards her, matching her smirk with one of his own and maybe this wouldn’t end up on camera – that was absolutely wishful thinking. Regina told them the night before Zelena was considering putting their own personal camera on the two of them so they didn’t miss any potential banter.

It was all on camera.

“That seemed like a compliment and an insult in one sentence, Swan,” Killian laughed, dumping flour into the mixer without actually measuring it.

“It absolutely was.”

She raised her eyebrows at him, challenging him to argue with her and he couldn’t, too busy staring at her again and the way her eyes, somehow, seemed to get greener when they were talking. He tried not to read too much into that.

“Although,” Killian said, staring at the mixer as he dumped in vanilla and eggs, “if you want to get technical, me staring at you is more a compliment for you and less of an insult to me.” “If I wanted to get technical?” He hummed in agreement, yanking the contraption open so he could push a spoon into the dough and start mixing it by hand. He could feel her behind her – the sound of her sneakers on the floor no longer necessary to announce her arrival – and her hand landed flat on his back, warmth seeping across his skin as soon as she touched the fabric.

“What are you doing?” he asked, dumping sugar into the mix and more vanilla.

“Getting technical,” Emma answered. “And also distracting you.” She swiped her thumb across his cheek and he was positive his eyes widened to dangerous proportions at the touch, leaving a trail of flour across his skin with a satisfied smile on her face. “That’s hardly fair, love,” he muttered, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t catch on camera.

Emma shrugged. “Now everyone’s got something to stare at. You’re quite a mess in the kitchen, Lieutenant.”

She walked away without another word, hitting a button on her mixer and yanking the bowl out form underneath it as she poured dough into cupcake tins, stuffing them in the oven and getting to work on her frosting.

Killian reached his hand up, knuckle brushing away the flour she’d left on his face and he was still staring at her – still on camera as much as he had been a few minutes before. He was also properly distracted.

It didn’t really matter.

He had a plan after all.

He all but threw his cupcake tins into the oven, turning the timer and grabbing a whisk to make the same whipped cream topping he and Emma had come up with a few days before. That would be the only good thing about his cupcakes.

He’d decided as soon as they’d walked out of his apartment – or maybe when Emma was pressed up against his shower wall, voice inching through him and keeping that fire alight even after they’d run out of hot water.

Killian was going to lose.

He was going to take himself out of the cupcake equation. He was going to make sure she, at least, got to the final round. Emma’d gotten her show back – and while he was adamant that the return to ten o’clock had absolutely nothing to do with anything except her incredible ability to cook on TV – he wasn’t willing to let her lose any ground.

He was going to lose. And he was going to make sure she stayed firmly in the spotlight.

They called time faster than he expected – which seemed to go well with his plan – and the four of them were called to present cupcakes to the judges.

Emma had made whipped cream frosting too and that made his heart swell a bit and he couldn’t quite resist the urge to brush his fingers against hers, hands twisting behind their back so as not to end up on camera. Her shoulders dropped a bit when Killian’s hand touched hers, eyes darting towards him and he was glad he was going to lose.

Belle’s was, as expected, the favorite, but Emma had gotten solid reviews from the small panel of judges that regularly appeared on Cupcake Wars.

And he’d used that to his advantage.

Because Tink was there. And Tink hated chocolate. And if it got him cut once, it would get him cut again. So Killian had loaded up his cupcake with chocolate chips and melted ganache on top of his whipped cream frosting and, for good measure, left out baking soda.

The judges eyebrows pulled low when they got to his offering – forks pushing into the cupcake with barely any enthusiasm and Killian bit the inside of his lip to keep himself from smiling.

Losing was more fun than he expected.

“This is, uh, something,” Tink said and Killian nodded slowly, arms crossed over his chest. “Lots of chocolate.” He could feel Emma’s eyes on his face and Graham was smiling next to him – certain he’d move on to the next round – and Belle looked a bit disappointed.

“Did you forget baking soda?” Archie asked, tugging apart the cupcake with his fork until it was a crumby mess on the plate they’d provided him.

“Ah, maybe,” Killian sighed and Emma’s entire body was turned towards him in question. He tried not to meet her gaze.

Archie nodded slowly, pushing crumbs around again like that was going to make the cupcake taste better or less dense. “It’s, uh, it’s something” he said, repeating Tink's words, and Killian hummed in agreement, rolling back on his heels.

Emma’s mouth was hanging open.

“Well,” Tink said sharply, drawing the attention of all four chefs and, at least, half a dozen cameras. “With that in mind, we’ve come to our decision and, I’m sorry, Killian, but we’ve cut you. That certainly wasn’t your best effort and the lack of baking soda made sure your cupcake didn’t rise at all. It was just very, very dense. And very, very chocolatey.” Killian nodded once, trying to keep his face impassive, particularly with Emma’s eyes boring a hole in the side of his head. “Thanks,” he said.

The out-of-frame voice called cut and everyone took a deep breath, the lights of the show set catching up with them – it was all very bright for a show with Wars in the title. Regina’s heels came up quickly behind him, a look of pure anger on her face, and Emma was still standing next to him, eyes wide and mouth open and confusion practically radiating off her.

“Swan,” he said slowly, stepping into her line of vision and reaching out to grab her wrist. She shook her head, sidestepping him and moving towards Archie’s plate where the remnants of his broken-up cupcake were.

She didn’t even bother with a fork – and in any other situation that would have been endearing – grabbing a piece of cupcake and popping it in her mouth, eyebrows pulled low as she chewed. “This isn’t good,” she mumbled, surprise coloring the sentence.

“What did you do?” Regina asked sharply, a stark reminder that she was still standing next to him.

“I forgot baking soda,” he said, like that was a simple answer to a simple question. Neither Regina, nor Emma looked convinced.

“Uh, Killian?” He spun around at the sound of another voice behind him, face to face with a slightly nervous-looking Belle who still had an apron wrapped around her waist. “Do you think I could talk to you for a second?”

He glanced back over his shoulder at Emma, another piece of cupcake in her hand like she was staging some sort of crime scene investigation to figure out why it wasn’t good, and he nodded back at Belle, taking a step towards the corner of the set. “Yeah, of course, let’s just go over here.” She followed him without question, which seemed almost unfair because he had about half a dozen questions sitting on the tip of his tongue. Killian crossed his arms, leaning against the corner of the wall and he knew Emma was still watching them.

“What’s going on?” he asked, Belle’s eyes trained on the tiled floor under her feet.

“I, well, I probably shouldn’t say anything,” she said, mumbling the words softly in the direction of her shoes. “But I...I think you deserve to know.” “Know what?” “What you’re getting yourself into with Robert Gold.”

And that was probably the last thing he expected to hear. Killian’s head shot up – the force of it actually making his neck ache a little bit – and he uncrossed his arms quickly, pushing his back farther into the corner to make sure he kept upright. “How do you know Robert Gold?” he asked. “And how do you know that I know Robert Gold?”

Belle laughed softly, pushing the sides of her hair back behind her ears and, not for the first time, Killian found himself wondering why these breaks in between shooting were so ridiculously long when everyone seemed so focused on maintaining some sort of schedule.

“Do you want the long story or the short one?” Belle asked.

“Probably the long one, I’m far too curious about the details not to get them now.” Belle’s smile widened and she took a deep breath, nodding once like she was trying to psych herself up for the explanation. “Did you know I used to be married?” she asked, glancing down, almost instinctively, to look at her very ringless left hand. Killian shook his head and she took another deep breath. “Yup, to a man I met when I first moved up here. He owned the building of the bakery I worked at.” Killian’s eyes went wide and Belle’s smile looked a bit sadder now. She shrugged. “You’re perceptive.” “It’s a gift.” “Anyway,” she laughed, “I met Robert when he came in to talk to my boss and, you know the story – smalltown girl meets big-town real estate mogul and is, immediately, swept off her feet by his worldly knowledge and ability to get reservations at top restaurants and, for awhile, I thought it was good. I thought he was good.” “But?” Killian prompted, pressing his weight into the balls of his feet. Emma hadn’t moved away from her station, leaning up against the counter and trying to look like she was taking a drink of water.

“But,” Belle repeated. “It didn’t take long to figure out that I was never going to be enough. He wants to be the best, you know, the biggest and the most important and the most powerful and he thinks the only way to do that is by owning. And he’s not too concerned with whether or not he’s owning the buildings or the people who pay for them.” “I told him I wasn’t interested in his deal.” “You made a deal?” “You didn’t know that?” “Will left that part out,” Belle muttered, half to herself, and Killian had a whole new slew of questions to ask.

“Wait, wait, back up. Will? As in Will Scarlet? As in the bartender at my restaurant?”

Belle’s whole face turned crimson and she pushed her hair behind her ears again, shifting back and forth on her feet. “I didn’t know that to begin with, if we’re being completely upfront here.”

“How did you meet Will? Are you dating Will? Oh my God, how long have you been dating Will?”

Belle’s whole body sagged and she pulled her lips back behind her teeth, rolling her eyes quickly. “One,” she ticked up a finger as she spoke. “Robin introduced us. Weeks ago after he stocked my show. Said he had a friend and the whole, cliché nine yards. Two, I have absolutely no idea because, as I’m sure you’ve picked up, Will isn’t exactly one to bare his feelings out loud. And, three, as previously mentioned, months ago.” Killian let out a laugh that bordered on disbelief and, he hoped, didn’t paint him as a complete asshole. And then he remembered that Will Scarlett was also, apparently, telling his maybe-girlfriend about his business ventures and restaurant expansion and partnership with a man who, it turned, was just as much of a dick as he assumed he was.

“Robin’s very good at interfering in other people’s business,” Killian said.

“It’s going ok.” “How come you haven’t come to The Jolly? If you’re dating Will you should come to The Jolly. I’m sure he’d want to flaunt his bartending skills in front of you.”

“He didn’t want me to come while you were still trying to figure things out with Emma,” Belle said, rushing over the words quickly and he needed to blink before his eyes dried out. “Something about flaunting when you were wallowing. It was kind of nice, actually, despite the way it sounds.”

It was nice. Even though it didn’t sound that way.

And Killian was struck with that overwhelming feeling of family and how much he should tell Emma. Still. Maybe when they had their clothes on.

“That’s Will’s way of being nice,” Killian said, earning a soft laugh from Belle.

“You really made a deal with Robert?” “When we first started the expansion, he was incredibly focused on this all-star thing and what it’d mean to my status or celebrity or whatever. And he wanted me to win. And I wanted to win then too, agreed to do that and win the whole thing in exchange for cuts on the cost of getting the building and the expansion. It was never in writing though.” Belle sighed softly, tongue poking in between her lips like she was concentrating on something very particular. “He won’t care,” she said softly and it felt like her voice was inside his head, ricocheting off his ear drums. Or maybe the studio was falling down.

He pressed his back against the wall even harder, stuffing his hand into his pocket with as much force as he could muster. “What do you mean?” “I mean it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t in writing or legal. He won’t care. Robert believes in deals and bargains and handshakes even more than he believes in the actual law. If you agreed to a deal, he’s not just going to let you walk away from it.” Killian’s eyes darted towards Emma, still leaning against her station, her head tilted towards Ruby – they were talking about Henry, he could barely make out the conversation from his spot a few feet away. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make sure he kept breathing like a normal human being and not the suddenly anxious person he actually was.

“Why did you back out?” Belle asked and he knew her gaze had followed his – to Emma. “Oh,” she said softly, hand falling on his shoulder without a second thought.

“She needed to win to get her show back,” he said softly.

“I heard she got that.” “She did.” “And you still lost on purpose today.”

It wasn’t a question and that meant something – he turned slightly to meet Belle’s knowing gaze and felt one side of his mouth pull up. “She’s worried still. Zelena’s not guaranteeing ten o’clock and she needs to keep up the all-star hype to keep her numbers up.” “I watched her holiday special. You two were really good together.” “You watched that?” Belle nodded quickly – like it wasn’t absurdly nice of her to spend her Sunday morning watching him flirt on camera with Emma Swan. “You don’t watch other shows on your own network?” Killian shook his head quickly, laughing under his breath and twisting his lips slightly. “You should tell Emma about Robert,” she continued. “He’s not going to be happy you lost today, even if he knew you weren’t explicitly trying to win anymore. He’s got people everywhere, all kinds of things he can do to make this restaurant expansion less than pleasant.” “He’s still going to get paid,” Killian argued. “He’s actually getting paid more now.”

“And he still won’t care. He cares about the deal.” His mind raced back a few days before – to the reporter asking Zelena’s assistant for comments on his relationship with Emma and, for the second time that day, it felt like the studio was caving in. They shouldn’t have ever left his apartment.

Or maybe he shouldn’t have ever agreed to this stupid all-star thing.

And he wouldn’t have met Emma.

And his stomach clenched at that.

Killian breathed in slowly, trying to keep himself from yanking all the oxygen out of the room. “There was a reporter,” he said softly and Belle’s eyes widened. “Asking about us. A couple of days ago.”

Belle’s shoulders straightened and she pressed her lips together tightly again as Regina announced the break offer, calling Killian to the other side of the studio to film his talking head about losing on purpose. She absolutely knew he lost on purpose.

Everyone knew.

“You have to tell her,” Belle said again, walking by him and heading back towards her station. “Soon.” He took another deep breath, shoulders moving dramatically as he did and he followed the sound of Regina’s commands towards the side studio, Emma’s gaze following him the entire way. He stopped quickly next to her, brushing his lips against her temple and squeezing her hand in his.

Emma smiled at him  – the effect making everything he’d done that day absolutely worth it – and rose up on tiptoes to catch her lips with his. So much for under the radar.

“Your cupcake was horrible,” she said softly and he felt all the air rush out of his lungs, laughing softly and, for a moment, forgetting the conversation he’d just had with Belle.

“Yeah, but you still ate it,” he pointed out.

There were other people around.

If this wasn’t him and it wasn’t her and it wasn’t them,  he would hate them. As it were, it was them and her and him and he loved it a lot.

He should tell her that.

“Killian,” Regina cried sharply, standing in the doorway and the look on her face was bordering dangerously close to dark.  “We could be done by now.” “I think you better go,” Emma said, tugging on one of his belt loops to prove her point.

“I expect to eat a winning cupcake later. And stop stealing my frosting recipe.”  He kissed her again quickly – enjoying the soft gasp at the movement and the accusation – squeezing his hand on her hip before turning towards Regina. “Careful,” he said, pushing through the doorway past her. “Your face could freeze like that.” She huffed out a breath of very frustrated air, yanking open the door and Killian braced himself for the onslaught of angry critiques and questions about where his head was at,  but they never came. Instead she leaned against the door when it closed behind them and stared at him meaningfully.

“Tell her you love her,” she said simply. “And then tell Will he can bring his girlfriend to The Jolly too.”

And then she set off down the hallway, leaving him to follow behind her quickly and figure out a way to keep his mouth closed.

#cs fic #cs ff #captain swan ff #ouat ff #cs au #ootfp #thiiiiiings happen #are happening #will continue to happen #i know cupcake wars has partners #this is like...au cupcake wars #without the gagillion cupcakes at the end too #or those weird carpenter people #what do they do when they're not building cupcake displays? #for realz

[godslush]

Oh, and because apparently nobody wanted to know anything from that artist ask post, here’s all the answers anyway:

   Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital? I actually feel a lot more comfortable with sketching and lines in traditional, but I've been spoiled by digital tools for coloring and refining. I'd say digital for now since I don't have a good means to do traditional lines and then transfer them to PC for coloring; no room for a scanner and too lazy to clean up a photo.    How long have you been drawing? Technically since pre-school, but I started drawing seriously with intent to improve in 6th grade, which was 1997-1998, so about 20 years. :>    How many classes have you taken? I took technically four years in high school, but the teacher didn't so much teach drawing techniques as she did nurture students' existing abilities and provide challenges, usually in the form of prompts and different mediums. I also took one summer in college that was an introductory course that didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know, I just had to take it as compulsory 'diversification' (since I was majoring in biology). It probably helped a lot, though, in the sense that it forced a lot of still life drawing, something that's of great value to all artists that I tend to shun because it's 'boring' and such, which is a very bad mentality to have, haha.    Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog? I have a DevArt (Daimera) but it's defunct and I will never update it again. It's a good way to see how I've grown, though, since it goes back pretty far and I haven't deleted much, only hidden a bunch of my original character art due to annoying children and art thieves. My dedicated art blog now is artslush here on Tumblr.    What’s your favorite thing to draw? Whatever I'm having fun with at the time! Usually monsters, but not always!    What’s your least favorite thing to draw? Realistic people. Realistic anything. Seriously, just take a photo.    How often do you use references? Much less than I probably should.    Do you draw professionally, or just for fun? Just for fun. Not sure if I'd enjoy drawing professionally; if it becomes my job I fear I may grow to resent one of my only forms of enjoyment.    How much time do you spend drawing on an average day? Not nearly long enough.    Are you confident about your art? I'm sort of see-sawing. I'm happy with my art from my own perspectives and relative to where I'd like to be, but I know I'm nowhere near good compared to actual professionals. I just try not to let it bother me.    How many art-related blogs do you follow? Considering I came to Tumblr because of art blogs (or blogs of people who do art on occasion even if it's not their main theme), do you really want me to go and manually count them? ... Really...? Ugh, okay... ... ... ...62. ...What? I like to keep a clean dashboard!    Is it okay for people to ask you about your process? It is but you're not gonna get a particularly great answer! I have some videos up on YouTube, mostly long streams though.    Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people? Mostly personal now. I used to draw way more for others in the past, but when I started attracting the attention of a younger and more entitled crowd (not gonna say who but if you've been there you know), I've become more and more reclusive out of the desire to just not have to deal with the drama of kids trying to guilt me into doing free art for them. "I love your work! See, I've complimented you! You owe me now! You've done free art for others, so why not meee???! Wow, you're such a horrible person! I'm going to treat you like garbage and tell everyone what an awful person you are for not giving me free stuff or reciprocating my 'kindness' to you!!" Maybe I'm overreacting or projecting, but it's something I just want to avoid, even if it's not likely to happen. I just can't deal with that kind of trash.    Do you ever collaborate with others? I think I've only done a small handful of collabs, and even then, it was more "someone did a black and white pic for me for reason A or B and I decided to color it", or someone seeing lineart I’ve done and going “Hey, that’ s awesome! Can I color it? :D”  I don’t think I’ve ever been in on a project that was a collab from the get-go.    How long does an average piece take you to complete? Depends on the complexity, I'm fairly impatient so I prefer to take as little time as possible, preferably in one sitting split up by short breaks. I'd say 3-6 hours? I get VERY disheartened if I spend a lot of time on something only for it to not get attention proportionate to the effort I'd put in.    Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less? Less, unfortunately. I was a lot more confident and dedicated back in the day until art students I'd surrounded myself with destroyed my drive with their self-destructive attitudes. I felt very "Well, they're way better than I will ever be and they think their work is garbage, what hope do I have of ever being anything more than what amounts to worse than garbage?"  I don't feel that way now, but I was never able to pick my momentum back up fully after hitting that wall.    Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice? No, but I often find myself being asked for it anyway, haha.    What are you currently trying to improve on? Nothing specifically, though I'm trying to make single character pieces slightly more dynamic than "character standing there in default idle pose." I'm not fully successful, but baby steps.    What is the most difficult thing for you to draw? Backgrounds and sensible lightsourcing.    What is the easiest thing for you to draw? Nonsensical eldritch monsters.    Do you like to challenge yourself? Not really. I'm very much a comfort zone person.    Are you confident that you’re improving steadily? Yep! It's a very slow steadily though, haha.    Do you draw more fanart, or more original art? Lately it's been more fanart; it gets more attention more quickly, and I find it more satisfying to draw something when I know more people like it. It's a double-edged sword, though; if people are clearly liking the content simply for being that content rather than for being my art of that content, I start feeling bitter. See: me any time half-assed Pokemon fanart of mine that I don't even think is all that good gets stupidly popular.    Do you feel jealous when you see other people’s art, or inspired? (Be honest!) I used to, and on occasion I will on certain very specific kinds of designs (usually mechanical and cybernetic), but for the most part it's counter-productive to hold a bar high with the work of others and expect to achieve that. All it does is lead to despair.    Do you like to draw in silence, or with music? MUSIC. I have a lot of playlists, and they're usually game-based.    For digital artists: what program(s) do you use? I used to use OpenCanvas predominantly, but now I use Manga Studio. I'll occasionally touch up in an ancient copy of Photoshop 7. I occasionally dabble in Krita, especially if I want live symmetry. For sprites, I usually use Photoshop for the initial, and ImageReady to animate, but lately I've been trying to switch over to PyxelEdit. If I want to do animating that's not pixels, I use Pencil2D, but you'll almost never get to see my failures there, hahaha.    For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require? Back when I was using OpenCanvas, which only had 'transparent' layer styles (Add, Multiply, Subtract), I'd usually have very few, and a lot of those habits held. Often times my layer flow looks like: - Lines - Highlight details - Broad highlight - Shadows - Color - Sketch And sometimes I'll just add one or two additional glowy or shadow detail layers to that. This is usually per-character, so multi-character pics will double what's there for the most part. If there's a background, though, expect like five thousand layers, lol.    What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist? My head is filled with a lot of crap, and I just want other people to kind of share in that. Since I'm not great with words on a descriptive level, drawing the things I see in my mind is the next best thing to magically gaining the ability to transmit my thoughts and mental images to others, lol. The better I am, the better I can get those ideas across.

#long post #the wall of text has awoken

[sejinpk]

So for that top 5 ask meme thing... How about top 5 live action films?

Thanks for the ask! I don’t often talk about live-action movies, so I’m glad you asked this! ^_^ There are only four entries because there are really only four live-action movies that I feel like I can confidently say are truly favorites.

1. American Psycho

American Psycho is the first (maybe the only?) satire where I feel like I’m actually able to see/get the satire for myself, though, admittedly, this was only after the commentary initially told me as much. >.

This clip highlights what I’m talking about regarding multiple levels, specifically the part starting right around the 1:15 mark (note: the clip is VERY NSFW!!!!).

On the one hand, it’s a horrifying scene in which a crazed Christian Bale is chasing a prostitute through his apartment building with a chainsaw. She bangs on other residents’ doors and screams loudly, but nobody comes to help her, or even to see what’s going on. And eventually Bale kills her with the chainsaw, just as you think she might have been able to get away. It’s heartbreaking.

But on the other hand, right at that 1:15 mark, you see Christian Bale sort of *giggle* trot into view covered in blood and wearing nothing but *snort* socks and tennis shoes, carrying a *kheheheeheaahhhaahahahahaaa* chainsaw in front of him like a *full-blown laughter and cackling* demented phallic symbol, running buck naked through his apartment complex, and he somehow has perfect aim to be able to drop the chainsaw down the middle of what looks like three or four stories of spiral stairs so that it actually hits the woman he’s chasing. The absurdity of the scene is absolutely hilarious.

I love Christian Bale’s acting as Patrick Bateman. I also really like Willem Dafoe’s performance. In fact, I like most of the performances in the movie. Regarding Bale in particular–and this is something said by the movie’s director in interviews–he really understood the dorkiness and the pathetic nature of Bateman. I think thefirst video clip above highlights some of this (random interesting fact: apparently Christian Bale can sweat on cue, as he broke out in a sweat at the exact same time in every take of that scene), as does this clip of Bateman’s music monologues, which are hilarious (I wanted to include the video in this post, but Tumblr apparently has a 5-video-per-post limit, so this is the one that got cut).

The movie is legitimately funny, both because of Bale’s portrayal of Bateman, and because of the satire. I think it does a really good job of getting you to laugh at him, rather than with him (in this case, that’s the intended effect). The movie also handles its tone very well, which was super-important for creating the effect the filmmakers wanted.

I also think the movie’s themes and social commentary are interesting and still relevant today, even though the story is set in the 80′s, the movie was released in 2000, and the book the movie is adapted from was published in 1991. It’s only been on the last one or two re-watches (I’ve watched the movie several times) that I’ve started to understand how the movie uses physical violence and the horror elements as a metaphor for class- and economic-based systemic violence.

2. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I also really like Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which this movie is a sequel to, but I like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes a little more. The key thing I love about these movies (and especially Dawn) is the humanity they give both the human and ape characters, which is what makes the drama and action so compelling. Both sides of the conflict, humans and apes, are given so much depth and nuance. Their conflict isn’t black and white, and you’re able to understand, and empathize and sympathize with, both sides equally strongly.

I think the character work in the movie is incredible. Practically all the characters we get any kind of time with are developed–we can see how they think, what motivates them, what their priorities are, even if they’re given very little screentime. One of my absolute favorite emotional scenes in the movie is when Dreyfus, Gary Oldman’s character, turns on his phone after the humans get power back, and as he’s looking through old pictures of his family, who have died, he just completely breaks down. It’s such a moving, heartbreaking scene.

Also, Andy Serkis + motion capture = Dawn is a poster child for this.

3. Tai Chi Master

So far, there have only been two works of fiction that have had a significant influence/impact on my life in some way. One is the Monogatari Series. Tai Chi Master (called Twin Warriors in the U.S.; original Chinese title 太極張三豐(Tàijí Zhāng Sānfēngin Mandarin)) is the other. This movie is what got me interested in learning tai chi, which eventually led to my broader interest in health, which in turn led me to where I am today, in school studying to become a Registered Dietitian.

It’s the story of the supposed legendary founder of tai chi, Zhang Sanfeng (played by Jet Li), though I don’t know how closely it adheres to the actual legend. I find the movie generally enjoyable, but the main reason it’s on this list is because of the impact it had on my life.

This sequence in particular, in which Jet Li’s character is figuring things out, testing ideas, and going through the initial process of creating tai chi, is what enamored me so much and got me interested in learning it (of course, the tai chi in the movie is stylized and exaggerated to varying degrees):

On a somewhat related note, I’ve heard of a movie called Pushing Hands (the name of an essential practice for developing sensitivity in internal martial arts), which has at least a tangential connection to tai chi (but sounds interesting even if the connection is really weak), but I have yet to get around to seeing if I can find it to watch.

4. How the Earth Changed History

(I wasn’t overly fond of any of the video clips I found, so that’s why there’s not one here.)

How the Earth Changed History, originally called How Earth Made Us in Britain (it’s a BBC production), narrated/presented by geologist Iain Stewart, is easily my favorite documentary. It’s about how planetary forces have shaped human history. It’s broken up into five parts. The first four parts each focus on a planetary force: water, the deep earth, wind, and fire. The fifth part focuses on how humans have influenced/affected the planet.

One thing I really like about this documentary is that it’s entertaining. In addition to just making the narration interesting, Stewart goes the extra mile to take the viewer into some really neat places, such as inside holes and tunnels dug to get at groundwater; a crystal cavern (a giant chamber that was initially sealed and filled with water, in which enormous crystals grew); on a catamaran in the ocean; the middle of the Sahara desert; various archaeological and historical sites; through a literal fire; etc.

I also found the information itself really interesting. Here are a few of what I thought were the highlights:

In the wind/air segment, he talks about how the Sahara desert (which is formed and maintained by large-scale wind patterns) acts as a natural barrier, which, in the past, inhibited trade between civilizations on different sides of it. As a result, a town/city (I don’t remember the name) in a key mid-desert location became an important trade hub. Centuries later, Christopher Columbus discovered the trade winds (more large-scale wind patterns), which ultimately led to a new trade route/cycle that bypassed the mid-desert city. Thus, the wind was influential in both the city’s rise and fall.

In the deep earth segment, he talks about the relationship humans have with fault lines: they enable us to more easily get at the various minerals that arise from within the earth, such as copper, but they’re inherently dangerous (earthquakes). Humans now have the ability to shield our buildings from the impact of earthquakes; it’s all a matter of choosing to do so.

The “Human Planet” segment is where I learned about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. He also talks about an Indonesian mud volcano, which is still erupting. In the documentary, Stewart says it was caused by human activities (drilling), but it sounds like there’s still debate about that, with some scientists supporting drilling as the cause, and others saying it was caused by an earthquake. Either way, the documentary shows that the incessant mud bubbling up from inside the earth literally buried the nearby town, and that was six to seven years ago (the documentary was released in 2010, and the mud volcano began erupting near the end of May, 2006). I can’t imagine how much worse it’s gotten.

In addition to what I’ve said about the documentary, I came across a very well-written review on Amazon that does an excellent job of describing the content and discussing why I find it so interesting.

I don’t normally like to do this, but I really want more people to watch this documentary (honestly, though, it’s only like $10 - $15 new on Amazon), so here are links to each segment on YouTube:

Water

Deep Earth

Wind

Fire

Human Planet

Again, thanks for sending me this ask! I really enjoyed making this post! ^_^ If there’s anything you want to respond to, please feel free to do so! :D

#b1689q #American Psycho #Dawn of the Planet of the Apes #Tai Chi Master #How the Earth Changed History #SejinPK answers

[memozing]

#online learning

[socialnetwork-us]

5 Crazy Ways Social Media Is Changing Your Brain Right Now

With social media sites being used by ⅓ of the entire world, they’ve clearly had an major influence on society. But what about our bodies? Here are 5 crazy ways that social media and the internet are affecting your brain right now! Can’t log off? Surprisingly, 5-10% of internet users are actually unable to control how much time they spend online. Though it’s a psychological addiction as opposed to a substance addiction, brain scans of these people actually show a similar impairment of regions that those with drug dependence have. Specifically, there is a clear degradation of white matter in the regions that control emotional processing, attention and decision making. Because social media provides immediate rewards with very little effort required, your brain begin to rewire itself, making you desire these stimulations. And you begin to crave more of this neurological excitement after each interaction. Sounds a little like a drug, right? We also see a shift when looking at multi-tasking. You might think that those who use social media or constantly switch between work and websites are better at multitasking, but studies have found that when comparing heavy media users to others, they perform much worse during task switching tests. Increased multi-tasking online reduces your brains ability to filter out interferences, and can even make it harder for your brain to commit information to memory. Like when your phone buzzes in the middle of productive work. Or wait...did it even buzz? Phantom Vibration Syndrome is a relatively new psychological phenomenon where you think you felt your phone go off, but it didn’t. In one study, 89% of test subjects said they experienced this at least once every two weeks. It would seem that our brains now perceive an itch as an actual vibration from our phone. As crazy as it seems, technology has begun to rewire our nervous systems - and our brains are being triggered in a way they never have been before in history. Social Media also triggers a release of dopamine - the feel good chemical. Using MRI scans, scientist found that the reward centres in people’s brains are much more active when they are talking about their own views, as opposed to listening to others. Not so surprising - we all love talking about ourselves right? But it turns out that while 30-40% of face-to-face conversations involve communicating our own experiences, around 80% of social media communication is self involved. The same part of your brain related to orgasms, motivation and love are stimulated by your social media use - and even more so when you know you have an audience. Our body is physiologically rewarding us for talking about ourselves online! But it’s not all so self involved. In fact, studies on relationships have found that partners tend to like each other more if they meet for the first time online rather than with a face to face interaction. Whether it’s because people are more anonymous or perhaps more clear about their future goals, there is a statistical increase in successful partnerships that started online. So while the internet has changed our verbal communication with increased physical separation, perhaps the ones that matter most end up even closer. Speaking of social media, we had you ask us questions on twitter, instagram, facebook, tumblr, google+ and every other social platform we could find and did a Q&A Video over on AsapTHOUGHT! So if you feel getting some insider info on AsapSCIENCE and behind the scenes, check it out with the link in the description! Got a burning question you want answered? Ask it in the comments or on Facebook and Twitter. We also finally got a PO Box, for all of you amazing science lovers who have requested to send us mail or other stuff over the years. And we’d love to hear from all of you! So feel free use the address on the screen or in the description box. And subscribe for more weekly science videos!

https://youtu.be/HffWFd_6bJ0

#Social Media #online #social network