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#self-doubt
rudranurag7 hours ago
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People tell me I'm a kind soul.
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I try to be. I like making people happy, I like coming into a stressful or frightening place and transforming it, putting people at ease, seeing the personality that comes out with their smile.
I believe in compassion. I believe that everyone deserves a chance. I believe that, for the most part, people are good, and if not kind, then at least blind to their own cruelty, and how could I blame a child for a tantrum?
Every so often, when I come across an unkind person, I like to see if I can bring out the good in them: hear them laugh, see them crack a grin, have them share a simple, cherished memory.
I fear that I am not a kind soul, however.
The truth is, I've discovered that I take a great deal of satisfaction in poking my fingers into a person's weakest points and stripping them down into neat, tidy little ribbons of self-doubt, regret and insecurity.
It feels cold. It feels surgical. It feels powerful, until remorse kicks in, and I know that I've hurt somebody.
I know that I am kind, but I worry that I am not a kind person.
I worry that I am kind because the sort of people who prey on kind people are the sort I feel the least regret over peeling open.
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An anglerfish, prey to lure the prey.
So am I good?
I don't know.
But I can be gentle.
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sofastuffing10 hours ago
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posted this on the wrong blog again... sigh
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ID. A digital painting of a pair of eyes/eyebrows with a mildly concerned expression. Blue eyes, dark brown eyebrows, light skin with a lot of orange blush. Small squiggles of saturated cyan, magenta, yellow and green, as well as some darker, less saturated blue, are drawn around the eyes to add more contrast and emphasise the shape. The background is a pale blue, and there is a purple signature in the bottom right corner (the word "Sofa" in cursive). END ID.
I meant to post something else a while back but I kept trying to fix some of the details and ended up never posting it because I don't really like how it looks now
So yesterday I tried to draw something without fussing over how "complete" one of my paintings look and just post it when I don't want to work on it anymore, and while I DID go back to add some more details today, I wasn't as perfectionistic about it as I was last time. At least I hope. I let myself post this, at least
Anyway, the drawing- It's one of my ocs (again), his name used to be Hyde but I changed it to Cole. I still don't like it though, so I'm open to suggestions
The version it was last night is under the cut
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ID. The same drawing as above, but without the random squiggles of colour and a white background instead of a blue one. The shading is a lot less defined, and the eyebrows are thinner and darker than in the final version. END ID.
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cozy-corner-system16 hours ago
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Me: Oh my god what if I'm faking having OSDD and being a System.....
My alters who I have been aware of for 1-2 years due to multiple tragic events:
My alters that were split for either heavily stressful things or genuine traumatic experiences:
Sebastian, who has literally been around for at least 7-8 years:
My dormant alters from childhood:
My therapist who has basically agreed that I do have distinct parts and OSDD:
Me: I'm such a disgrace. A liar. A fraud. An embarrassment. I should be ashamed of myself.
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therippingtides18 hours ago
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What鈥檚 your unpopular archetype?
the loyal
it鈥檚 a good thing you鈥檙e so patient. you know what it鈥檚 like to feel the full weight of doubt bearing down in you. for years, it tried to squeeze the life from your lungs. but nothing鈥檚 going to make you bow. you kept the candle鈥檚 flame alive. you whispered the names at nightfall. the vigil still lives inside of you. one day, the waiting will have been worth it. all your love is going to come home to you. you鈥檙e more important than you know. you鈥檙e still the one true believer.
personality: calm, level-headed, stubborn // counterpart: the accomplice
Tagged by: @buildabuddha
Tagging: Whoever wants to do this
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epicallychrissy19 hours ago
what if i said we already speak and i鈥檓 too shy to admit i asked this?
I would ask why you are afraid? Are you worried I would be upset? Since we talk, I hope you would trust me that it wouldn't matter, that I wouldn't be upset.
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galaxyghost89a day ago
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A lazy drawing that I did yesterday. Not that good, but it鈥檚 better than nothing.聽
I guess I need to deal with the fact tha not everything that I make is going to be perfect. I know it鈥檚 not a healthy mindset, but I feel like everything that I make needs to be perfect, and if it鈥檚 not perfect than I鈥檓 a failure.
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afxckingmessa day ago
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so. we named our new fidget ring Edith because she sounds like a bitch right?
and then our m*ther said "you're personifying a lot of things"
I asked "what? what things?" I know we do it but I can't remember doing it recently.
her response: "yeah, like your alters"
Host should be so fucking glad I was masking and didn't absolutely rip into her. literally wHAT THE FUCK WOMAN.
Look, perhaps she didn't mean it like that. BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM FEELING LIKE ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHIT. Or y'know, like I'm fake and invalid. BITCH
- Dabi
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fuckvalvelocitya day ago
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decided to put on 鈥榞irly鈥 clothes that still somewhat fit my aesthetic and it felt like i was crossdressing and it also felt so very good to take off so uh. guess that confirms that i am indeed trans
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can聽anyone hear me?
sometimes聽it feels like i鈥檓 a phantom,聽
existing on another plane of reality聽from the rest of the world.
because,聽
when i speak,
it鈥檚 as though no one hears me.
so i thought...
perhaps i鈥檓 not speaking loud enough?
but volume does not matter.
because this dimension eats up all sound,
like a ravenous monster that will only be satisfied聽when it consumes all my words,
and i no longer exist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-darling茅toile
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eventually--darlinga day ago
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hahaha what if im just straight and have v strong aesthetic attraction ahahahahaha
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halflifethreea day ago
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i just realized my quiz made me sound evil and rude but i promise i'm not. i promise
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bigskycastlea day ago
Do you have any tips for choosing colours? I love your work sm
thanks! uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tips.. heres what i wouldve told my younger self about this stuff, i guess:
- THERES NO HARD AND FAST RULES WITH COLOR OR ANYTHING IN ART ACTUALLY. DO WHAT LOOKS N FEELS GOOD TO YOU yes that includes shading with black and whatever the other deadly sins are. also ive never been to art school so take everything i say w a grain of salt
- on that note. dont be afraid of greys. in moderation and in the right places (idfk the technical terms for anything) they can really bring out your more saturated colors. same w black - its all situational tho, just figure out what does and doesnt look good thru experimenting
- one thing i used to do a lot when trying to get out of my comfort zone was tell myself to not pick something's local color - instead, pick my favorite color of the same hue. like, instead of the local blue, id pick my favorite shade of blue. not super sustainable or good advice but it did help me realise that, whoa, sometimes thinking outside of the box has cool looking results
- probably ditch those "flesh cloud" "skin cube" type 'guides'. they can be helpful for like total beginners but honestly they just kind of squash creativity. skin, like literally anything in the world that lets light bounce off it, reacts to its environment's lighting. things have local colors, sure, but if you rely on those, or any other fixed palette, for picking colors, ur stuffs gonna look the same, all the time. usually "close enough" is good enough
- complementary colors=instant win (half joking? i use them in everything)
- if ur using a non-mspaint art program u should have the "tone curve" feature. fuck with it relentlessly. way better than HSV sliders
- i think avoiding like, drowning ur colors with blending mode layers? really helped me. i still use them when i need a specific sort of blending effect for like a texture or whatever but the idea is to get confident enough w ur own color choices that you dont feel the need to completely cover them up at the end LOL
- i used to roll my eyes at this but honestly try and avoid fully saturating the majority of ur colors. it can look cool depending on the effect ur going for but the problem is that it leaves you very little room to "move"
^ (devin korwin has some awesome e books that explain this + other things about color(+other fundies) way more eloquently than me, they helped me a lot)
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saltsealed2 days ago
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ghoul au 鈥斺
Instead of being chosen for vault entry, Mal was one of many who found himself with nowhere to go the day the bombs fell. Although he and his cat managed to survive the initial blast, they weren't shielded from the massive amounts of radioactive fallout that followed.
Through a twist of fate, both succumbed to ghoulification, and spent the next 200 odd years building a life for themselves among the ruins of Boston and the surrounding countryside.
Due to the discrimination that comes from being a ghoul, and his own naturally reclusive nature, Mal mostly kept a low profile until recent years, when fate has him crossing paths with another pre-war veteran 鈥 the sole survivor of Vault 111.
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graphicpolicy2 days ago
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Ablaze Reveals its September Comic, Manga, and Graphic Novel Releases
Ablaze Reveals its September Comic, Manga, and Graphic Novel Releases #Comics #ComicBooks #Manga
HE WHO FIGHTS WITH MONSTERS #1 by Francesco Artibani & Werther Dell鈥橢deraMSRP: $3.99聽路聽Release Date: September 7, 2021 On All Hallows鈥 Eve, a community struggles under the boot of the Nazi war machine when supernatural forces come to play a part in the conflict! From the artist of the bestselling聽Something is Killing the Children聽comes a Halloween tale that will send shivers up your鈥
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burgundy-daddyglasses2 days ago
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Rating: Teen and Up
Category: Gen
Relationships: Klavier Gavin & Apollo Justice
Characters: Klavier Gavin, Apollo Justice, Detective Gumshoe, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Holding Hands, Protection, Post-AA4, AA-4 Spoilers, Comfort, Concern, Harassment, Angst, Pre-Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice, Klavier Needs a Hug, Klapollo Week, Guilt, Self-Doubt, Fear, Mild Language, Mentioned Kristoph Gavin, One Shot聽聽
Language: English
Chapter: 1/1
Words: 5732
TW/CW: Mentions of Kristoph Gavin, Some Language (rated T because of one f-bomb)
Description:
The trial of State v. Misham has come to its tumultuous end, but for attorneys Apollo Justice and Klavier Gavin, it鈥檚 not over.
Desperate for answers, the press has converged on the courthouse grounds, anxious to talk to Klavier, the brother of that attempted murderer.
Left with the decision to hide or exit the courthouse with his head held high, Klavier gets some help from an unlikely source: Apollo Justice.
Set after the conclusion of AA4, Klavier and Apollo protect each other in different ways, all of which meaningful. Sticking together, they grow more stable in the conviction that they are stronger as a pair than on their own.
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